Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 3:12:45 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I use to make decisions based on emotions, mostly fear. They should be based on facts.
When I came to understand that I need both the step and the write-up in chapter 5 to make the decision then step 3 made sense to me.
The facts as I see them are; 1.I must be convinced of the abc's-- Steps 1&2 2.Try to see how selfish and self-centered I am. Even when I was being a good guy it was for my own purpose. To survive I must be rid of this selfishness. HOW? 3. I need to have a relationship with my God. I chose the example "He is the Father I am the child". When I thought of my father there was no relationship but when I think of my son and daughter and my grandchildren, how I feel and what I want for them gives me the idea of what my God wants for me. 4. He promises to supply me with every thing I need if I will try to stay close to Him and do His will.[manah will not come down from heaven but with a new energy bring on life] 5. I am now at step 3. The facts dictate that I do God's will my way sucks.
What Does God want me to do? At the bottom of page 63 I get His answer. Now we commence a course of vigorous action, the 1st step of which is a personal house cleaning.
The rest of chapter 5 covers step 4. BUT Look, chapter 6 is titled INTO ACTION and covers steps 5 to 11. Step 12 says that if I do this I will have a spiritual awakening.
WOW! what a simple program when I get out of the way and follow God's directions.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Andrew
Location: Calgary
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 3:58:42 AM
Hi Chuck...another insomniac? Can't seem to sleep, will be a long day of work,but I'm sober,so what of it?
Step 3 for me is simply asking for another way. The ways I had learned and practised were not at all in my best interests,my life out there drinking being the most glaring symptom.
And another way that is in my best interests is to take the rest of the steps and trust God to show me His way.
Member: Lynn S
Location: OR
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 8:59:00 AM
Hello, I'm Lynn and alcoholic. I can't believe how hard this step has been for me. My will vs. God's will. I think this has been my major spiritual battle since my teens and now that I have grown older and 18 years of sobriety has convinced me-that had I been able to just "turn it over" daily I would not have some of the problems I have today. I could, intellectually, think to myself, "Oh of course, this is a good idea" but doing it daily is one constant struggle. Emotionally, it was impossible. I had no patience or trust in God. I had so many areas of my life that I wouldn't allow God to touch. I have reaped the consequences to be sure. I also know that this is the area where everyone, who is in a spiritual battle, struggles. It is said, "an alcoholic has a very strong will" and I am here to tell you- I agree after years of denial in sobriety. But, the important thing that really helped me-was, "Progress not perfection" and "Honesty, Open-mindedness and Willingness." Each day is a new beginning and I have come to finally trust God. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: suzanne g
Location: seal beach,ca
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 2:37:19 PM
suzanne, alcoholic/addict here. For me, the key to taking my 3rd step and keeping it fresh is repeating the prayer in the BB, page 63. At first I had to "act as if", but now I mean it. Simple - but that works for me.
Member: Jennifer K.
Location: Centerville, LA
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 3:49:20 PM
My name is Jennifer, and i'm an alcoholic...On my first go around in this program (4 years), my first sponsor suggested to me that i put on my bathroom mirror the following things: the 1st, 2nd and 3rd steps; the 3rd and 7th step prayers and a piece of paper that says,"My name is Jennifer and I'm an alcoholic.". I didn't do what my sponsor suggested back then. Well, I relapsed for a year, and am gratefully back in the program, and all those little pieces of paper are taped to my bathroom mirror. Everyday i am reminded that I can't do it alone, and i that doing it my way only got me back on the barstool. Today, i choose the way and the will of my Creator. Thank you for letting me share and thank you for one more day of sobriety.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 6/5/00
Time: 4:36:19 PM
Step three is the important one; he that turns to God, must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him. Therefore we must remember that it is in His hand to enlighten us or no. I think this point needs to be stated because we are on the receiving end.
To be sober and sane with that sound mind that comes from God is what we desire. Most of us hope then, to be able to keep our heads above water having now with us that wisdom that comes from above.
In my case, I found it not to be a wisdom as such, but rather a person was I given, and in him is that wisdom, for he'll not give his glory to another. So, it followed then that through obedience to Christ it could be said that I found that wisdom from above. I have to become instant in prayer, ever asking and seeking for his will, for it is he that knows what to do, if to come in or go out, to speak or keep silence.
My drinking habit found itself on the back burner once all this began, I wasn't a fisherman, it wasn't my occupation, but if it had of been I would have expected prosperity in my trade once having found God, but what does Jesus say? "leave your nets, and follow me" How unexpected this is, and I think it's here where the most of us balk. I for one believed to the uttermost and found the way, but it takes faith beyound reason and one must be fearless from the very start, then, the promises will come to pass.
Member: Jack B
Location: CUMBOLA PA
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 2:48:07 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Step three for me is where the spiritual healing began.For me step three is a commitment to God and to the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.For me when I made this committment I was no longer operating out of ignorance, I found a new way of life that works. Its said we are all created out of God's image. When I stopped trying to create God out of my image, life got better and I began to deal with it and accept it a whole lot easier. God Bless.
Member: mary
Location: philadelphia
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 6:40:30 AM
Hi I'm Mary, an alcoholic. Step 3 was a big relief for me. I wanted out of the pain I felt and it tells me to give my will over to the care of God. I made my life better and easier. So each day I say the serenity prayer many times and I put one foot in front of the other. Then I thank God for my life so far. I think this is relationship keeps me sober.
Member: sunny s
Location: New Bedford, Mass
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 10:27:26 AM
Step 3 is a prayer. I say it every day not because HP needs to hear it every day. I need to say it every day. My understanding of the prayer has deepened by doing this.
First: " I offer myself to thee-to build with me and do with me as Thou wilt." I have certain hopes about how HP will build with me and do with me. But, I've made the decision to let HP drive. Not being perfect yet, I have to practice this. I need the help of the serenity prayer, my sponsor, and continuing growth to accept those parts of what HP will do with me that I don't like. HP will do those things anyway, I'm just agreeing to try to co-operate in the process. My co-operation allows HP to take me to better places than alcohol would have when it was my higher power.
Second:" Relieve me of the bondage of self that I may better do thy will." My mind thinks it knows what is best for me and everybody else. When HP wants me to be nice to a jerk that I would rather demolish, my self is a problem. Or, when I see something I want, I can be quite convinced that it is for my greater good to have that thing I want. I can't remove my own selfish motives to see the divine plan which is going to progress whether or not I co-operate. I don't ask HP to take my self away. I ask that the bondage of self be removed. In step 3, I let HP decide what that bondage is, but I get to keep a self. Then I can look at HP's will with a viewpoint based somewhat less in selfish desires.
Third: " Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life." As an active drunk, I was always asking HP to take away my difficulties. I usually offered some unreachable promise in exchange. "I'll never do it again" etc. Or, "I'll do good with it, I promise." I was glad to see that there was a deal in the third step. I'd already made and carried out another deal with HP in another area of my life. Miraculously, I did my part. I understood that part of this deal would be to tell other's of my difficulties and how HP helps to resolve them. I understand that I can ask HP's help with a particular difficulty. It may or may not be handled according to my specifications, but I get help with seeing another viewpoint. There are always people in the program who see the brightside of things if I miss the point. Also, over time I've learned more about HP's power. I've watched changes take place in me and others in a second. I've watched HP lovingly give many chances, opportunities, help to each person. Sometimes I thought those people were going to go down the tubes because of their character defects. But, I got to watch HP heal, grow, and relieve alcoholism and spiritual illness in many people. I am allowed to understand more and more of the spirit centered way of life. The more I see of that way of life in the 12 steps, the more I want it.
Fourth:"May I do Thy will always." This is a request and a hope. It is a blessing of the self. It is a declaration of intent to grow into the ability to do HP's will always. It is not a promise. It allows for the fact that I was given a self and a will to work with. It won't be taken away. I always have the choice to do as I will. If I have difficulty doing HP"s will at this point, the rest of the steps will help me to see what the problem is.
This is only my understanding of the 3rd step today. When people say "I took back my will", I think they are talking about another 12 step program whose 3rd step prayer is "Take my will and my life. Show me how to live." In the AA 3rd step, we put our will and lives IN THE CARE OF. That is something we also do with our children. We put them in the care of a babysitter. We don't give them to the babysitter. We have to take them home and work with them, and be responsible for them. To me, it's that way with my will and my life. I have to take it and work on it with HP's help. I have to be reponsible for it, and my actions. HP always gives me choices. Sometimes, I'm very happy to discover that my will and HP's will seem to be in agreement. I look forward to more of that.
Member: Mike S
Location: IL
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 7:48:54 PM
Hello, my name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic. I've struggled with this step. I'm not particularly religious, so I just ask for some help going in the right direction. I like to believe that in my life, I am supposed to develope some insight to help others, so I only ask for little nudges and help recognizing situations where I can be of help to others in the small ways since they can show others how to help themselves and enjoy their own enlightenment. I currently do not have a home group, but am considering finding one online, as a 24hr chat room would be helpful in those "dark hours before the dawn" when things seem so bleak and the chance to relapse are the greatest. Thank you all for letting me share this.
Member: Marv B.
Location: Bedford, Tx.
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 9:27:56 PM
Im Marv, and I'm an Alcoholic. I liked what Mike S. had to say. Thanks Mike. I think one of the beautiful parts of Step Three is that it gets us out of Self, and gets us to rely on something or someone other than self. We hear in aa that we were a "Self Will Run Riot." For me,Step three was the key to the major change in myself. These on-line meetings and chats are nice supplements, but let's make sure Mike that we don't think in terms of replacing the idea of a home group and a person to person contact with others and a sponsor. For many of us our social skills are in disarray anyway. Step three leads us outside of ourselves. God as I understand him. We don't have to be phenatics with religion. The promises come true as a result of the daily working of steps, including step 3 as a big part of it. Go to Live meetings. Talk to a live sponsor. Pray. Turn it over to the care of God as we understand him. Read AA books and materials. And along with all those things, on line meetings are excellent supports too. My sobriety began in December 1968. I would not be here and sober today, nor would I have enjoyed so many wonderful years of life to its fullest if it were not for the great reward that came from clutching the edge of my bed in total misery over several nights asking "God as I understand him" to relieve me of this anguish and I would give him my life. Just a simple procedure. No complicated theology. It works. Before step three I believed there was a God because I'd been told there was. After step three, I knew there was a God. Thanks for allowing me to share
Member: Marv B.
Location: Bedford, Tx.
Date: 6/6/00
Time: 9:41:37 PM
Im Marv, and I'm an Alcoholic. I liked what Mike S. had to say. Thanks Mike. I think one of the beautiful parts of Step Three is that it gets us out of Self, and gets us to rely on something or someone other than self. We hear in aa that we were a "Self Will Run Riot." For me,Step three was the key to the major change in myself. These on-line meetings and chats are nice supplements, but let's make sure Mike that we don't think in terms of replacing the idea of a home group and a person to person contact with others and a sponsor. For many of us our social skills are in disarray anyway. Step three leads us outside of ourselves. God as I understand him. We don't have to be phenatics with religion. The promises come true as a result of the daily working of steps, including step 3 as a big part of it. Go to Live meetings. Talk to a live sponsor. Pray. Turn it over to the care of God as we understand him. Read AA books and materials. And along with all those things, on line meetings are excellent supports too. My sobriety began in December 1968. I would not be here and sober today, nor would I have enjoyed so many wonderful years of life to its fullest if it were not for the great reward that came from clutching the edge of my bed in total misery over several nights asking "God as I understand him" to relieve me of this anguish and I would give him my life. Just a simple procedure. No complicated theology. It works. Before step three I believed there was a God because I'd been told there was. After step three, I knew there was a God. Thanks for allowing me to share
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 6/7/00
Time: 1:12:04 PM
For me, Step Three is about keeping the drink/drug down and living life on life's terms.
I want things to go my way...period. When I fight life and it's circumstances (people, places, things), I perhaps fighting the very direction God wants me to go. Because I am "near sighted" in terms of my life's direction, I fight tooth and nail to control external events in order to make me feel safe.
"Turning my life and will over to the care of God as I understand Him" allows me to feel less alone in my day to day living and when something unpleasant arises, I can trust that perhaps this lesson is part of God's plan for my life. And when I'm really having difficulty with emotions/situations, the 3rd Step helps me to walk through the unpleasantness and fear without picking up a drink or a drug.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Constance T.
Location: Germany
Date: 6/7/00
Time: 2:34:34 PM
hi, i have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body, when i first read that the presence of God was the most important thing in the first 100 recoverd alcoholics lives,I wanted to run, i thought i knew God,but after taking the steps i expereinced his presence and i too want his presence every moment in my life, turning my will over was not the easiest thing i had ever contemplated doing, and it took some counseling with a real patient sponsor,that did it with me out of the big book,we followed the directions, when i knelt down to pray i asked God for me not to be phoney about it, because i have the ability to be dishonest with myself and others, God heard me ,my life since that day has not been the same, i have taken the steps 3 times.all 12,most times helping others in the process of recovery,right now i am living in a place where aa is not like i am use too being from ny where there are a lot of meetings,so i must do this deal knowing that it is Gods will,no meetings use my tools, i have just had my 10th sober birthday,their was no fanfare,the will of God?? i sometimes struggle with the self wanting to be in control,3rd step prayer brings me back on the beam,if i had made a list i would have short changed myself on the things i wanted and what my higher power wants for me, though step three is a vital step, it cannot have a permanent affect,unless followed right away by step 4,keep it simple ,and i thank you all for being in my life ,much love
Member: ROSE B.
Location: wilm de.
Date: 6/7/00
Time: 7:58:47 PM
i can"t HE can if I let HIM simple way to live third step. I have to keep this program simple. GOD IS IN CHARGE NOT ME.
Member: John W.
Location: Indiana
Date: 6/7/00
Time: 8:04:11 PM
During my previous 10 years of sobriety (yes, coming back when you've had that much sobriety and gone out again is VERY hard to do)I tried to thoroughly work the 12 steps. But the 3rd step then, and now, is probably the hardest one for me.
I don't adhere to the idea that once you've worked step three it is done. Step three is, at a minimum, a daily practice; more frequently it is a momentary practice. My will is so strong within myself that I find myself constantly wanting to that which I know is not God's (my higher power) will, rather that which is satisfying and pleasing to my own will.
On occasion I have tried to maintain throughout the day a conscious awareness of God and His will for me as continuing thought. My success has been relatively poor, five minutes...two minutes...even one minute was quite an accomplishment. But you know what, those are the days when I succeed in living closer to His will than any others.
Oh, to have the mental disciline to be ever conscious of God in my life; to be aware of the times when my own will is running rampantly wild with my own feelings and desires.
My second birthday if coming up the 16th of this month, one day at a time, and one day at a time I am trying to improve my permission of God's will in my life.
Member: David B.
Location: WI
Date: 6/7/00
Time: 8:31:36 PM
This was actually a simple step for me, but the ease with which I accepted it was borne out of years and years of misery. I fell on my face with every attempt to control my drinking/using and to, in general, turn my life into something productive. My ways NEVER WORKED. The decision to trust God became easy with that realization. To believe in God, which I do, and to realize what a monumental step that is and just what all it encompasses is nothing short of incredible. God...creator....how could I not turn my will over to Him???? I was a failure at taking care of the very thing He gave me...my life. Hey, when something isn't working correctly, no one knows better how to fix it than the manufacturer! So turning to my "maker" became easy. Yes, I take my will into my own hands many times, but I am able to turn back to Him.
Thank you all for being here and God bless.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Windsor, Ontario
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 12:16:26 AM
Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Jack. An Oldtimer from my first AA group used to say" There is only one thing you need to know about your higher.........That you are not Him" Very good advice then and still is now.
Same fellow used to say " If you were so good at running your own life why did you come to AA? Maybe it's time to give a power greater than yourself a shot at running the show. Could this Higher Power do any worse than you have ??? "
Thanks for the opportunity to share.
God Bless!
Member: Ginny F
Location: California
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 1:38:43 AM
Hi My name is Ginny and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you for being here. When I took step three for the first time I was almost thrown by the words "God as we understood Him." I was a drunk who didn't understand anything. My sponsor told me the only thing I needed to understand was that I wasn't Him. This helped a little light go on, but I was hard headed...so it took a little while longer for me to do the step. Then one day everything seemed to be going wrong in my life. I was still going to meetings and talking to people, but outer circumstances (the ruins of my drinking) began to come down on me. There were so many things that were out of my control (what a concept...a drunk in control). Anyway talking to my AA friends didn't seem to help. Finally I got on my knees and asked God to take care of everything, because I couldn't. I felt peace.
I could say that everything changed right away. But it didn't. I stayed sober in spite of loosing loved ones, moving into the Y, being without a job and whatever else I thought might happen. God held me up and AA held me together long enough for our circumstances to start changing.
That was a long time ago. A lot has happened, but God has never left me. Today, I'm grateful that so much happened to me in that first year, because when things seem hard now I remember that time and know that God is there and I turn it over to Him. For me the third step is my foundation.
Thanks for letting me share.
Turn it Over
Member: Michael R
Location: san diego
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 5:05:24 AM
I have been sober almost three years. Even though many wonderful changes have occurred, I really am convinced life run on my will can hardly be successful. I feel a little lost in my program. I need to start doing the steps. Part of step three for me is being willing to surrender to God on a daily basis. Prayer is key before I begin the day. I need to remember I'm no longer the dictator, master of ceremonies, air traffic controller,ect of my life anymore.
Member: VON
Location: DBC
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 11:54:40 AM
When I first got to Step 3, I had a hard time thinking of turning things over to my Higher Power. Then it started to dawn on me that when I was qualifying for the program, I turned my life and will over to the care of alcohol on a daily basis. I had no problem letting alcohol run and ruin my life. So why was turning things over so hard in sobriety? That thought helped me realize that I did know how to "turn things over", the only question was "to what?"
Since that time, I have found that my daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition asks that I experience the first 9 principles of the first 9 steps on a daily basis. First and foremost is that I am an alcolic and my life, when I try to run the show, can become unmanageable. Two, that I believe that a power greater than me restores me to sanity. Before I get to the Third Step, I need to make sure that I have firmly reinforced the previous steps in my heart, mind and soul. Three is so critical, because I had to come to the understanding that in order to turn my will and life over to the care of God as I understood Him, it wasn't simply a matter of believing that God exists, but it goes further. I need to trust in Him. To me, the principle behind the third step is Faith. So on a daily basis I put my trust in Him. The actions that I take help to strengthen my faith in Him. The daily prayer, humility, service, integrity, honesty, and love are not to make Him "save" me more, but for me to become more faithful.
Life is different today not because life has changed but because I have changed.
Member: JR R.
Location: nyc
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 9:29:17 PM
After all these years, this is just a daily program. I have to remind myself to pray, first thing in the morning, and to remind myself to connect myself to God and his will for me. I'm still not so good at meditation. Any ideas? Also, I have to remind myself to pray at night. And thru the day, or else I forget what my role is in this very complicated universe.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 9:34:25 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing! Congrats Constance on your 10th AA birthday!
Because our present culture emphasizes, among other things, individualism and men making a place for themselves in this world, I had little or no previous experience with making a decision to turn my will over to a God as I understood Him. But hitting bottom helped persuade me that I needed to submit to Step 3, which I was able to do based first and foremost on the premise that God as I understood Him wanted me to stay sober too.
This common ground or goal in which God's will for me was based on my continued sobriety, then, was what I used to make my decision to "turn it over." While I sometimes fail to "turn it over" with regards to other aspects of my life, so far (thank God!) I have yet to take my will back in order to drink again.
Member: Roy S
Location:
Date: 6/8/00
Time: 11:33:08 PM
Step 3 was definitely one of the most important steps for me. When I hit bottom, I knew that I needed help. By turning my life over to God, the pressure of all of the every day decisions, especially the one whether to drink or not, is gone. I pray and turn the decisions over to him, and work my program, and things turn out much better that they did before AA. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: how does this work? can not get in any rooms.
Location:
Date: 6/9/00
Time: 11:45:35 AM
Member: Aimee K.
Location: New York
Date: 6/9/00
Time: 12:13:21 PM
Hi! I'm Aimee and I'm an alcoholic. I loved what Sunny S. had to say about turning our will and our lives over TO THE CARE OF God. He wasn't taking anything from me, but taking care of something for me. I had a huge problem with giving God what was so important to me - my life and my will. How do you do that? Do I never get it back? What's He going to do with it? Do I become a nun? Where do I go while He's got my life?
I could turn my life and my will over to my sponsor or the group, but only on a limited basis and only what I wanted, not everything. God was good to me, though, and I learned more and more about Him. I also needed to hear more about the step and work on trust and faith. It was a series of steps that lead to me becoming willing to let God take care of me and my will. I had to learn more about God, learn that no human power could keep me sober, (through a series of disaapointments) and that God was perfectly Good. If His will was perfectly good, then I had only to gain if I trusted in Him. It was a process ... a long and thoughtful process.
In the end, I decided to put God first in my life as often as I could. I promised to ask God for direction more often, to consider my motives and direction before I did something, to reflect on spiritual principles every day, and to try as hard as i could to understand God in ways that made me comfortable.
I had a very hard time trusting God - He and I had some healing work to do, but I allowed myself the opportunity to work it out WITH Him, not against Him. I know and have always known God is more powerful than me. I came in beaten.
As a result I am seeing the fruits of this step. I am less controlling, more peaceful, more serene amd more hopeful and trusting. I've also learned how to sort things out with others as a result of trusting my process when sorting things out with God.
In the end, I am a more sober person. I am grounded in the faith that God's will is perfect and my will is imperfect. Also, I realize that I cannot always see the consequences of my actions down the road, but God's plan is perfect. Get the spiritual principle right and the right thing happens.
Member: Jl Gray
Location: The Beach, California
Date: 6/9/00
Time: 2:00:12 PM
Step Three. Do I work the steps? Do I do the steps? Or do I take the steps?
"Here are the steps we took, which are suggested as a program of recovery"
So every day I hear about working the steps, and maybe I am just a nut for semantics, but I find it
more helpful to say I am taking the steps. Do we say a baby worked or did her first steps? I
remember my wife so excited our daughter just took her first steps. So now I am taking the steps
and taking them seriously. For me Step Three is something I will try to do on a daily basis for
the rest of my life. I have to make that decision, and once made, I have to get out of the way. I
am trying to get to Step Four and have some ramblings on paper, but before I write I pray for the
mental constipation to be lifted and turn it over to my higher power so that the pen will get to the
paper. You know writing in ink is very different than word processing. I do so very little real
writing that I have found I am out of practice and my penmanship is atrocious.
The other thing that makes Step Three a constant for me is that god as I understand him is also
not a static thing for me. It is always changing as new information and experiences come to me.
What I understand today may be very different than what I come to understand tomorrow. Step
Three is the great leaping off point. This is where I had to put my faith. So much of the progress
I have heard about and witnessed in others was based on the faith that the program of alcoholics
anonymous works. So taking Step Three opens my mind up to humbling myself and letting go
of the control of my will and my life. Not an easy one to take. So much is talked about Steps
Four and Five being hard, but really if I turn it over and have the faith required by Step Three,
then I will progress through those and the other seven. So I believe.
I remember seeing a picture of hundreds penguins at the edge of the ice above the ocean, some in the air and many more following. The caption is "Do you know how that first penguin takes the leap?" "He is pushed!" I guess that is what sponsors are for.
Member: Pam C.
Location: Arizona
Date: 6/9/00
Time: 4:41:26 PM
I'm Pam, alcoholic. I first practiced Step 3 kneeling in front of the toilet in a women's bathroom at work several times a day. The fear I was living in was so overwhelming I could barely concentrate on work. I would hit my knees and ask God to remove the fear and help me concentrate on being useful at work. I did this every day for a very long time. One day I was taking a break from work and had walked outside around the building a couple of times when I realized that the pounding-heart fear was gone and it was replace with the ability to see and hear the world around me again, the way I did when I was a kid. The reason I say again, is that is wasn't always that way.
Long ago, I was a carefree, fearless child, however, when I was a teenager, I walked away from God when my young brother died. That's when the fear began. I covered the fear up with anger and recklessness. A.A. has helped be recover that young woman and help her grow up in to be a happy, responsible human being with the ability to look at life with childlike wonder in a woman's skin. It's no wonder that some of the principles behind the Third Step are trust and courage. They can only be acquired through action and acting as if it will happen for me as it did for you. Thank you.
Member: gypsy
Location: valpo,in
Date: 6/10/00
Time: 2:33:44 AM
hi alky/addict here. i thought i had taken step 3 before i went back out there. i think i did the action part but the decision was never really made. i took my 4th step and went back out after my sponsor decided to share my something very private with another sponsee. i drank on my one year b-day.
i am extremely suicidal sometimes now. i am dry and occasionally the urge to drink takes over but more than anything last time i was around i made the decision that if i couldnt get this sobriety thing i would rather be dead. for me to drink is a more miserable existence, but i did do it anyway.
there has been so much chaos in my life, alot of good/bad changes and im sooooooo overwhelmed!!! i pray alot and in one situation God wouldnt been heard any louder if He had screamed. i have been being harrassed really badly by a supervisor at work and as i sat in my inquisition today trying to prove myself as honest, the mediator left the room and i was just bored looking at the pictures on the walls. there was a picture with COURAGE writen and below it was the serenity prayer. im not going to drink or die by my own hand tonight. im too scared ill miss something here. thank you all - you are my journal (that i lost at work), my counselor, my HPs voice and my new family all in one.
...sleep with angels...
tonychode@gateway.net
Member: Bill M.
Location: Brunswick, Ga.
Date: 6/11/00
Time: 9:23:30 AM
Bill, alcoholic Reading the directions for the 3rd step without understanding gave me a short break in the beginning, the last break for a long, long while.. Finally I understood, "relieve me of the bondage of self" referred to the complete self centeredness that ruled everything in my life that routinely lied about to me, "take away my difficulties that victory over them will bear witness to those I might help" so that giving what I was given in AA would be easier. Making any decision requires the combination of intellect and emotions. The intellect must take priority over the emotions to finalize and make rational decisions. Never one without the other. i = intellect e= emotion The fraction is i over the e { i/e}. The incorrect fraction is emotion over intellect. I now know that if I introduce alcohol will always change the fraction to e/i. . a=alcohol i/e + a = e/i or more bad decisions. I needed this to help me understand and to be able to have the peace of mind that gives me the abiltiy to intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle me. Sorry about the too long explanation.