Time: 7:55:47 AM
I am an alcoholic step 7 is somethng I get up every morning and ask God to remove my shortcomings only cure I find for our insanity.I know just asking is not enough I have to work towards it but my Higher power gives me the strength to achieve it and keep me focused.
Member: Monique M.
Location: Prince Edward island
Time: 3:29:03 PM
I am an alcoholic. I have been 14 years and counting in the program. I think I only start to understand now the great power of God. I thought that I had to work hard to remove my shortcomings. Only God can remove them. What I have to do is ask for his guidance. And listen to his voice iside of me. He guides me anf if I am humble enough, I listen and know what Ia have to do
Member: Tony G
Location: Doncaster Yorkshire
Time: 4:58:00 PM
Both as a recovering alcoholic and a sponsor, this step seems to take up so much more time and effort than any other. Perhaps for this reason it and step six are known as the "forgotten steps". One particular sponsee, who is somewhat high maintenance, largely due to childhood issues, is wrestling with 6 and 7, and in trying to help him, I too am learning more and more about their meaning for me. They are separate steps and cannot be taken side by side in respect of the same shortcoming. But the one thing that is clear to me; don't try to work the defects - work the programme and the programme will work the defects!
Monique, you said it, only God can remove the defects. I cannot do this myself, I can only become willing and humbly hand the removal process over to someone whi knows what they're doing.
Location: at lulu's
Time: 6:53:01 PM
great galloping gonads.
Member: Bryan L.
Time: 7:20:35 PM
About having God remove my shortcomings, this does work if I have total faith. Every morning when I take a shower I let go and let God. With total faith I never have to ask again in the same day. Right now I am having a rough time. I haven't been going to as many meetings as I should and I can most certainly tell. My faith isn't as strong as I know it to be. Hopefully by going to more meetings he will restore my sanity and my faith. I know he will.
Time: 7:22:23 PM
Shortcomings I have alot of . . . I ask God for help in this department. Sometimes, I even find myself writing a list of them: pride, jealousy, my tongue can lash bitterness, anger, depression, anxiety, boy the list goes on and on.
I am happy though that what I can't accomplish God can. So in conclusion, prayer is how I handle my shortcomings and then I let God operate on me.
I ask Him for PRUNING my branches and boy has He, I'm a pretty svelt bush now . . . but always in need of triming daily.
Member: Bonnie B
Location: Reno, Nevada
Time: 7:04:47 AM
Hello! My name is Bonnie and I am an alcoholic who's AA Birthday is today. I am 24 years sober. Both character deffects and shortcomings are the same. First being ready to to have God remove our defects that we told another about and now asking him to. I learned the hard way that I cannot remove my defects, and boy I tried. Try removing Jealously or greed. Try thinking of others before we think about ourselves. The harder we work at it the more we dig ourselves deeper and deeper. If we couldn't remove the feelings before, we certainly can't do it now. So God does it. After all we just turned out will and lives over to his care, didn't we. So soon we forget. An old timer once told me that after years of wondering why some defects were still there, he figured that maybe they weren't defects but assets. Have a wonderful day. Love you and sobriety.
Time: 9:04:28 AM
hi im brett my will gods will selfish unselfish inconsiderate considerate dishonest honest fear courage selfseeking doing for other without return how do i do it i ask god then walk in faith
Time: 6:01:12 PM
Time: 6:02:00 PM
Member: Mack M.
Time: 6:24:40 PM
Hi. Mack here. I'm an alcoholic...I just wanted to say that I don't think step seven means God or your HP just comes along and magically REMOVES our shortcomings, like picking lint from a dark shirt. But i think we pray to recognize our weaknesses and shortcoming, humbly, and He will help us see them, and then WE WORK LIKE !#!!# and DO ALL WE CAN DO to overcome these, and He will do the rest!! that is just my opinion. but of course our HP has the ability to do anything He want...but we would not grow and stretch and learn if He did everything.
Member: Lara Dianna S.
Time: 6:52:26 PM
My name is Lara S. and I am definately an alcoholic.... Humility is the key...you will never get anywhere worth going unless you open yourself up to seeing shortcomings in yourself. Some of us give ourseves too many shortcomings, and that is probably why we drank in the first place. Let's face it, alc. worked wonders for awhile on a false delusion of self-esteem. Humility is admitting imperfections, yes, but also, I think, not overemphasizing our shortcomings in order to not get so discouraged that we won't even want to try! Thanks so much for listening!
Time: 7:09:39 PM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I learned in step 4 what my defects were and how they were ruling and ruining my life. In step 7 I ask God to remove them. In the Big Book His answer is to do steps 8&9. It is after step 9 that sanity returns.
Now, it makes sense to me. I probably have a better chance to live without defects when I have a full deck.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Angela S.
Location: Hot Springs AR
Time: 11:28:08 PM
Step 7--one of the "forgotten" steps...Thanks, Tony, for that reminder of what short shrift I usually give this step.
All the step itself says is "Humbly asked him [meaning HP] to remove our shortcomings." Like many others, I once thought that meant God waved a magic wand over my head and I became a perfect human being: kind, gentle, soft-spoken, polite, generous, patient, etc. and so forth and so on. And that did not happen. I whined to my sponsor, "But I asked God to remove that defect. Why doesn't he do it?" Her response: "What are you doing to cooperate with God about it?"
You see, I didn't know (and periodically still forget) that this is another one of those ACTION steps. Just like I had to take action in getting sober, I have to take action in STAYING sober, and for this step that meant paying attention to my behavior and attitudes. I am not some little automaton--wind me up and watch me go. God gave me (and each of us) free will. It's up to me what I do with it. I must make a choice not to act on a defect. By continually making that choice, I change my pattern of behavior...that positive reinforcement thing.
I read somewhere it takes 21 days to create a habit. I suggest that my sponsees consciously practice a new behavior (for example, not cursing) for three weeks. Pray about it every day; ask HP to boost awareness of that defect, and then watch for it throughout the day--when does it crop up? What is its trigger? Is there a particular time of day, or certain person involved?
And golly guys, let's not get our knickers in a twist over the amount of time involved. As our literature tells us, this is a lifelong process, one day at a time.
The steps are continually refining me into the person God always wanted me to be, removing the dross a little at a time and leaving more and more of the gold behind. Step 7 is one of our spiritual toolkit's most powerful refining mechanisms.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto,Pa
Time: 4:08:34 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Step six and seven are the meat and potatoes of the program.If I am entirely ready in step six, I should also realize that I cannot remove my character defects.Shortcomings to me are my failure to do what I know should be done and what is expected of me.I knew my drinking was not normal, and the times I wanted to stop, or at least try to control my drinking, I found out I couldn't.My character defects/shortcomings will always be apart of me, its that today I recognize when selfcenteredness, envy, selfishness etc begin to creep in, I know its not the way God or I want me and today I have the Grace of God to help me when my darker side surfaces. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Time: 9:13:51 PM
i have a very long penis
Member: Andrea O
Time: 11:06:41 PM
Hi, I'm Andrea. I just had the most difficult time trying to figure out how to get into my very first online AA meeting. I went to a meeting locally tonight. Though the topic should have been step six, for some reason we talked about gratitude and choice. I have gratitude that,now that I choose (with God's help) not to drink, I can first of all see my character defects and secondly, have the courage to ask others how they've overcome theirs. I know I personally have to get back to basics when I get caught up in this program - trying to do it "right" and "perfect". I now strive for simplicity, gratitude and absolute faith that I've somehow made it 3 years and close to 10 months. Moments become special - problems are challenges, I feel like a kid again, trying out life with all it's roller coasters of emotions and situations. I need help in learning to take care of myself - not to get caught up in envy, comparisons, self-defeating behavior. That's when I set myself up to fail and basically invite myself to drink again. Somehow, I determined that there is NO WAY some cruddy substance called alcohol will ever stand in my way again. I'm becoming more aware of my trigger points - now I want to let go and let God handle them. Does anyone else ever feel that if they let go, they will lose control? That's the paradox I live with. Bless all of you for sharing and especially those who developed this website. What a wonderful community of grateful recovering alcoholics! Always, Andrea
Member: Ann K
Location: Manasset NY
Time: 1:53:44 AM
This web site is a wonderful fine for me. Thank you. I liked what someone said about maybe the defects that are still around are really assets or as I found in my fourth step some of what I thought were assets were really shortcomings. I like to apply the slogan Let Go and Let God to my shortcoming but first I have to be willing to identify them.
Location: NW USA
Time: 9:30:06 AM
Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings... Who would have thought a group of drunks sharing their experience, strength and hope about their shortcomings would teach such wisdom... there is a "God", it is not me, it is not you, but a "healing power". Keep coming back.
Member: Dave W.
Time: 9:41:02 PM
Hi,Dave here an Iam an alcoholic.Humbly asked...I must ask without pride,arrigance or assertivnes.Reflecting on my personal shortcomings, in a spirit of submission.ranking low in the hierarchy...
Member: Maria D.
Time: 10:32:34 PM
You go girl!!
Wish i had said that!
Member: Trina M.
Time: 10:42:24 PM
Hi, i'm Trina, and i am a grateful recovering alcoholic! Hey Andrea, if you want a place to find online chat meetings, go to About.com
The basic rules are simple, if you don't understand them, there is always some friendly drunk to help...LOL !-raise hand to share Don't type when someone is sharing say "done" when you are finished sharing type...in the middle of a share to let everyone know ther is more. Hope this helps. Sister in Recovery 7 years
Member: Frank D
Location: Vancouver WA
Time: 3:55:52 AM
Step 7 just did and will try to think to use it anytime. God bless us all.......
The listening thing works!
Member: Brad T.
Time: 2:45:45 PM
Now, my book does not say "Humbly asked "Brad" to remove all our shortcomings." It says "Humbly asked "HIM"." It is my opinion that I cannot remove my defects any more than I can remove my compulsion to drink. This step for me is about recognizing the age old truth, as stated in the chapeter "We Agnostics", "our dilemma is a lack of power." And also in how it works, "There is one who has all power and that one is GOD." I used to think it read "and that one is Brad." I am an alcoholic, sobriety date 1/14/93. Good day.
Time: 5:39:18 PM
"Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings;" This is the story of a man! not a guideline. Tis the story of a man; a man I say, the story of one man, one such as you or I who has forsaken this world! Evensomuch as to the turning of his will and life over to the care of something else or other than this world and its customs. Another I say, even as the program describes, and that one, as it goes on to say is even God; and thus, he stands considering himself, and his desire to please his God, and if it be a faith unfeigned, even the God and Father of our lord Jesus Christ without which there should be no and shall be no program to error in; Nevertheless, Its the story of a man. One, who considering himself as to whether as he now stands is in such a place as is pleasing to his master and lord, which is his new found devotion. For having tried the course of this world and found it lacking, he has reverted to Another; and that one is God, to another course and power greater than himself and from the very world, the very world that has brought him to this place and need for such a reversal or turning point or repentance that he is willing to take up even the cross. A place that has turned him inwardly to the word of God that he might therein abide apart from it all, and if so be that he might find it; shape his life anew according to the bible as, and if your willing to accept it, is what step three describes of this man we all look to as worth following. For he looked to God in this step as if to say: "How am I doing so far?" Help thou me, that I might remove that which is unpleasing in thy sight, that I might then be found acceptable in thy presence, a prexence in which I now stand, for it is you now my Lord my God my Higher Power that I look to in all things thatsoever I do, and thou knowest I'm thirsty....
Time: 8:38:16 PM
my penis is too big
Member: sheila n
Time: 9:42:52 AM
hi i'm sheila alcohlic step 6 and 7 i too had to learn that i can't remove any defects.my sponser told me that was GOD business he made me and he was all powerful.ether GOD or [HP}is all or nothing. i'm learning to trust him.i had to willing to b willing! i just read in meeting from a guy dont try to work the defects-work the program the program will work the defects.i'm thinking about this and think this may b the answer continue to grow spirtuial and GOD will do the rest.thanks for letting me share i will stay sober today i'm so gratful for AA and my sponser and people like you to share and listen to your share your bad day good days. sheltz
Member: Tom G.
Time: 3:20:41 PM
Hi everyone. I like, Bonnie B Have resigned myself to the fact that some of my defects are here to stay, I guess I just work on the harmful ones. I just ask myself 3 things before I open my mouth today 1. Is it neccessary. 2 Is it kind. and 3 Is it true. I'm always open to any suggestions though perhaps lulu and jose can tell me how big your penis must be before it becomes a character defect?? Have a happy sober 24, 7, 12, 52 whatever God bless. Tommy.
Time: 8:31:27 PM
lulu you go girl
Time: 8:42:39 AM
I would have to say, for me being an alcoholic, that my most challenging shortcoming is not learning from my mistakes. I constantly perpetuate the same problems and at the time don't have the ability to say, "Hey, this is similar to ...", or, " I remember feeling this before." I seem to be going, going, going and never stopping long enough to really listen to myself and God. I've been sober for 4 days, I love saying that knowing that He has helped me through this. I need to find myself after a lifetime of trying to be everything else.
Member: Wm O
Location: Macks Inn Idaho
Time: 5:32:58 PM
Hi I'm Bill an alchoholic. I've many defects I heard around the table some day are weakness will be are strength . Also Harry L says if you believe in God or dont believe in God or think you are god this program will work for you. Hang on Allison you got it .Three pees leave be oops three thinks leave be , oh may I suggest some Mrs smiths dutch apple pie with that recovery. Thanks for letting me share .
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Time: 8:36:17 AM
A long time ago I was at an AA meeting where the topic was steps 6 and 7. A guy at my table said 'In step 6 we learn that our character defects are like chains that keep us bound and we lug around thruout life. In step 7 we find the key to unlock those chains and walk away a free man.' I liked that picture. Thanks for helping me remember.