Member: Peter s
Location: ENGLAND
Date: 6/2/2002
Time: 5:41:56 PM
sometimes i go off beam.When this happens i usually FEEL it.Maybe i get selfish and try for my own way again and others reactions to me indicate that im bieng an A-HOLE ONCE MORE.sTEP TEN GIVES ME THE CHANCE TO REFLECT ON MY PROGRAM and see how i should procede so that i can adjust my behavior back to good decent AA living,making amends if required.I see and practice 10 as a walking around step that i take with me as i go about my daily buisness.Im not perfect but step 10 helps me to live sort of pretty ok.
Member: Robin A
Location: rjamato@hotmail.com
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 12:21:11 AM
Hi my name is Robin and I am an alcoholic and addict of MORE... This step for me is very important. Whenever I have said or done something I know is not "right" I just don't feel "right" within myself until I clear up my side of the street. Until my head, heart and gut are all in line-I am a total mess, I have to make right the wrong I did. I will not be able to go forward in recovery till I clear it up to the best of my ability. Thats what this program has taught me.
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 2:04:23 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
Instead of denying that I did anything wrong I now have a tendency to admit it in a fairly short time. But, there is more to step 10 when I check out the Big Book. It essentially asks me why did I do it and what to do.
It asks me was I selfish, dishonest, self-seeking or frightened(step 4). To pray for forgiveness (step 7). To talk to someone(step 5). To make amends when necessary(step 9).
Steps 4 to 9 are designed to restore me to sanity. I can then be spiritual(step 11).
To me step 10 is the tool that keeps me spiritual. When I do something wrong I have slipped out of spirituality and back into insanity. Step 10 gets me back into sanity so I can resume living step 11.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Priscilla J.
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 6:51:50 PM
Hi,I'm Priscilla, and I'm a alcoholic.Step 10 is about working toward emotionally balnce,so nothing around me can upset my life.step 10 is growing up,amitting (my)wrongs,claming (my)own fualts.As the book states,A continuous look at (my)assets and liabilities,and a real desire to learn and grow by this means, are necessities for us. So by me continuing to take (my) inventory it frees me up from always being rigth or almost rigth. Thank YOU,
Member: Paul . Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 8:05:12 PM
We have now entered the world of the spirit. Once we have done 1 through 9 we have left the self and are lving in the spirit. The minute we get fleshy again back into self we loose the spirit. Step 10 helps me to wipe the self and get back to spirit. Thats what this trip is all about. A shift from self to spirit!
fmg300@rogers.com
Member: Christine P.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 9:01:06 PM
My name is Christine, and I'm an alcoholic.
I have such a hard time with 10. Four was tough enough, but 10 is an everyday deal, sometimes an every minute deal. I need to remember that my sobriety is contingent upon the daily maintenance of my spiritual condition, and part of that is taking inventory.
Today I took an inventory for the first time in a long time. Usually I ignore my program until I'm much too close to a drink for comfort, then I come scurrying back to safety. So I looked at my wrongs of today, the primary one being snooping around. But how can I admit that to the snoopee? Wouldn't that do more harm than good? Do I just stick with a living amend and not snoop again?
Most of my ten ends up bleeding into eleven, because I need guidance from my higher power, whom I choose to call God. If I trust God and pray on this, surely the right answer will come.
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 10:24:29 PM
Hi,I'm anilg I'm an alcoholic and an addict Step 10 is about working toward emotionally balnce,so nothing around me can upset my life.step 10 is growing up,amitting (my)wrongs,claming (my)own fualts.As the book states,A continuous look at (my)assets and liabilities,and a real desire to learn and grow by this means, are necessities for us. So by me continuing to take (my) inventory it frees me up from always being rigth or almost rigth. Thank YOU,
Member: need to know
Location: ohio
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 10:36:47 PM
dear angilg, are you a n\c? or just like what priscilla said?
Member: need to know
Location: ohio
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 10:37:22 PM
dear angilg, are you a n\c? or just like what priscilla said?
Member: Ken C.
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 6/3/2002
Time: 11:52:18 PM
I'm never wrong, so I don't have to admit anything. I'm also so darned humble there is no need to continue to take my inventory.
Did I also mention that I'm a liar?
Truth is, I absloutely hate to have to admit when I'm wrong. My ego gets threatened and my ego doesn't want to die. But maybe it doesn't really have to die. Instead, mavbe all I need is to change it from an ego that THINKS itself to be right and good, to one that IS right and good. And to do that, maybe all I have to do is displace some of my old ways with better ones as suggested in the Big Book.
Egotistically yours,
Ken
Member: Melissa R.
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 10:29:44 AM
Hi all, Melissa, alcoholic. I love this step. It frees me up of carrying around guilt, which would lead me to drink. It took me 20 yrs to learn that. I still have a bad habit of being critical of others and my mother asked me one day, " why are you taking his/her inventory". I thought that was a question from God. It really stopped me in my tracks. I can still hear that question whenever I start acting up and I immediately ask God to forgive me.
thanks for letting me share, have a good week, Bless you all
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 10:52:46 AM
This step is also not easy for me either. When I was drinking, everything was somebody or something elseâs fault. If I was wrong, I lied to myself, if you were wrong, ãGod Help Youä, my self righteousness was unbounded. Today, I still love being right, but I hate the spiritual drain of pent up resentments. So when the sh**ty committee wonât be quiet, I pray first and if that doesnât work I talk to another drunk. Making the amends has become easier with practice. The step says ãWHENä we are wrong, not ãIFä. My mistakes are my guideposts for my growth.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 10:57:15 AM
"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it."
The Experience, Strength and Hope shared, the Twelve steps and Twelve traditions and a "Healing Power" has given a 'new healing understanding' of 'personal invertory and admitting wrongs'...
I like Robin's share in the discussion meeting, "We should be sensible, tactful, considerate and humble without being servile or scraping. As God's("Healing Power's")people we stand on our feet; we don't crawl before anyone."
There is a "Healing Power", it's not me. There is a "Healing Power",it's not you. There is a "Healing Power" for us.
Thanks for another day sober.
Member: brenda c
Location: ontario
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 11:57:59 AM
Hi ny name is brenda and I am an alcoholic I<m new at this but I just wanted ti share my feelings today. I've been a month sober and I am having a hard time it feels so lonely. I don't have anyone to talk to at this time this is why I am online. I'm trying to figure out where to go from here. I just got home two kids that are really affected by my using. Now that I am walking around with my eyes open I see just how unhealthy things are in my home and it's hard to face I just have to keep praying and reading that big book.
Member: Bill
Location: Iowa
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 12:09:10 PM
My name is Bill. I am a grateful alcoholic. I love the way step 10 is worded. WHEN wrong, not if wrong. They knew when they wrote this step that I would screw up on a regular basis. They gave me this step to help me keep my side of the street clean, so I don't have to start keeping secrets and go back to the way it was. I do step 10 as soon as I aware that I screw up again. That little nagging voice asks me if I want peace and serenity. Thank God and you people of AA for keeping me right sized today.Thank you for being my friend!!
Member: Scott R
Location: NS Canada
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 12:50:48 PM
Hi I'm scott and I'm an alcoholic. I seem to have daily battles between myself and myself. I am wrong quite a lot and I doesn't like to be wrong. I especially doesn't like to admit it. Anyway, step 10 really works if you keep up with it. It works for me as a not so subtle reminder of how things would be if I weren't taking stock of my thoughts and actions. Thanks for being here today.
Member: Lisa christina
Location: mississippi
Date: 6/4/2002
Time: 6:14:05 PM
Hi this is Lisa, an alcoholic. step 10 is a step i had a lot of problems with. Before AA i was so good at taking everyone elses inventory. I thought i was always right. My ego had to get deflated quickly. I dont have to always be right anymore. I know when something is bothering me, it usually has to do with me. I have to get right with God, i need serenity in my life, i dont want to fight with anything anymore. I am so glad i have learned the tools to survive in my world, i know when i make an amends its for my sanity too.... thanks lisa
Member: Suzi B
Location: Caribbean/Denver
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 7:39:43 AM
Step Ten I am not there yet, however, I remember about 7 years ago, a guy I used to date, called me out of the blue, to apoligize for all his wrong doings. (At the time I thought he was crazy). Now I know what he was doing. I still remember that phone call and it means a lot to me now. Hopefully, someday I can make ammends to all the people I have hurt, but one day at a time.
BRENDA - You might try the coffee pot page. There are some great people there.
Member: Bill F.
Location: Lost Angeles
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 9:31:14 AM
Interesting two discussions this week - Step 10 and Self Esteem. When I am down a day I try to think of three things I did well that day or three things which helped someone. Same idea as a gratituide list. It works.
Member: Rick L
Location: Bowie Maryland
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 11:12:05 AM
Hi Everyone, I'm new to AA and have only attended a few meetings. I tend to be a binge drinker drinking for a day or two, roughly every two weeks. I tried to stop on my own but kept repeating in an endless cycle. I finally went to a doctor and he prescribed antabuse for 3 months to help me initially "dry out" and it appears to be working. I will be going to 90 meetings in 90 days and have taken the first step - it gives me hope.
Peace and Serenity, Rick L. - Bowie MD
Member: Anne S
Location: NY
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 4:54:10 PM
Hi I'm Anne and an alcoholic/addict. I have 18 days sober and have not yet begun to work the steps....but I was feeling very good about my 18-day accomplishment. Until I just went to donate blood and was told that I can't because of my recent drug use, even tho it wasn't IV. Boy was I bummed. I thought I could finally do something for someone other than myself, and it didn't work out. So I suppose I'd like to make amends to those unknown people who needed my blood, but since I f**ked up they can't have it...
Member: john c
Location: U.k.
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 5:32:29 PM
It was suggested to me very early on in AA that whenever I'm disturbed I can only look at me, and not the other person/place/institution. I find that the "look at me" i.e. working on step 10 helps me back into balance. Quite often I'm wrong and I need to make amends.Sometimes the other is wrong and I need to forgive(give as before)However it turns out I need to take responsibility for my own emotions
Member: Ken C. - dos 06/19/77
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 6:53:20 PM
A second thought...
I learned that I need to take step 10 less often if I remember it is not what happens that causes me to retalitate or act badly. Instead it is how I THINK about what happens. When someone offends, I have a choice. I can get all upset and act badly (usually because one of my pet ideas was attacked) or I can let it go, or even learn from it if my idea wasn't all that great to begin with.
The main thing I need to remember is that I am not my feelings, nor am I solely my thoughts or ideas. Most feelings and ideas are based in ego fixations. Each time I let go of one of those fixations, I come closer to my essential essence and in doing so, feel closer to my Higher Power.
Member: xx
Location:
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 8:46:41 PM
xx
Member: tester
Location:
Date: 6/5/2002
Time: 9:42:19 PM
123
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 4:03:42 AM
Adam, alcoholic.
When I first got to this step, my sponsor had me actually cast up a balance sheet at the end of the day. On the left side were my "assets" (where during the day did I practice gratitude, humility and acceptance) and on the right side were my "liabilities" (where during the day did I have the attitude of "where's mine?" "why me?" and "f--k you!"). He wanted me to list at least three things for each side of the balance sheet, and then pick one thing from the "liabilities" and try to make amends for it. This really worked for me. I got to keep track of how I was living in sobriety and I got to see the progress as the "assets" list gradually outgrew the "liabilities" list. Six years later, this is still how I do my 10th step.
Grateful to be sober.
Member: tech
Location: test
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 8:45:47 AM
testing
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 9:07:04 AM
tech testing again
Member: Jim F
Location: Guilin, China
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 10:53:42 PM
Jim, alcoholic. I will risk going a little out of context here, but I will get to Step 10. I did most of my early meetings in two Alano clubs, depending on which shift I was working. At one club people were working 4th steps every year, when I couldn't even pick up the pen to start my first. At the other club, one of the old-timers, Tom, now passed on with many years of sobriety, used to say, "If you do the 4th step right, you only have to do it once." I believed him, pulled up my bootstraps, and did the inventory. Because of that early training, I have not done another 4th, but I have done several more formal tenth steps as well as the daily inventories. Whatever works. Sobriety is a grand adventure. Jim from Sequim
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 11:54:33 PM
testingg
Member: cindy p
Location: florida
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 11:55:19 PM
hi - cindy - practicing alcoholic - sober for a day or two - sober up to a couple of weeks - and it feels sogood to be sober - one day at a time works for me - i believe in God and his mighty plan for me - havent been to an aa meeting...i think i need to go - havent made the call...still trying to do this on my owned but lots of help in my neck of the woods to keep drinking - had a day today like none other..many people offering me a drink to relive the stress...trying to stay sober and saying no - can someone please help me understand the importance of the aa meetings? do we have to be patience and listen to other people complain about THEIR problems (haha - kind-of kidding) what makes the meetings work for all - so proud of all who have been sober for weeks at a time - 18 days, 30 days - you are wonderful - thanks for the coffee pot - may be what i need to get started on the road to soberness. Thank you for your honesty - love,cindy
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/7/2002
Time: 1:00:49 AM
test
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/7/2002
Time: 1:23:13 AM
testing 345
Member: Anne S
Location: NY
Date: 6/7/2002
Time: 8:29:35 AM
Cindy - FL: the importance of the meetings (in my humble opinion as a newcomer) is to allow you to share your thoughts & feelings with other like-minded people (non-judgmental, loving, accepting, and alcoholic), as well to hear their stories to help reinforce what can be accomplished and to help guide you through. A support system rocks!! (and questions like this will get more responses if you post it on the Coffee Pot page)
Member: pbs
Location: ohio
Date: 6/7/2002
Time: 12:58:57 PM
Hi, groupers,I'm Pat,alcoholic. Step Ten freed me from the bondage of self--always right, blameless, thoroughly self-centered. When I became willing to look at the fear driving me I readily made the Tenth part of my being. Life became infinitely simpler and easier.
Member: cindy p
Location: fl
Date: 6/7/2002
Time: 10:35:35 PM
anne s. thank-you so much for your answer.i am thinking about making the call and the meetings 10-4 - i realized the coffe pot would be a better format-thank you again for your response - god bless all, cp
Member: anonymous alcoholic
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: 6/8/2002
Time: 5:47:13 AM
I have trouble doing step 10 so I need to 'listen'. Thanks.
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/8/2002
Time: 8:04:04 AM
complete
Member: Bill J.
Location: Kingsville TX
Date: 6/8/2002
Time: 10:35:53 PM
Step ten is one of the maintenance steps and I can use it any time to get things sorted out and to restart my day if need be.It helps me stay on track. It is a great tool to get and keep my life in order. Beings I do not like to admit I'm wrong it helps me to watch what I say and do so that I don't have to make more amends. I like this step THANKS for my soberity bj
Member: Bill J.
Location: Kingsville TX
Date: 6/8/2002
Time: 10:36:32 PM
Step ten is one of the maintenance steps and I can use it any time to get things sorted out and to restart my day if need be.It helps me stay on track. It is a great tool to get and keep my life in order. Beings I do not like to admit I'm wrong it helps me to watch what I say and do so that I don't have to make more amends. I like this step THANKS for my soberity bj
Member: tech
Location:
Date: 6/6/2002
Time: 6:06:39 PM
testing