Member: John B
Location: Sweden
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 3:06:06 PM
John B, alcoholic
I made step 2, without knowing it, on my first AA meeting, when I met all the others in the group and was able to see with my own eyes and hear with my own ears that it, something, God or whatever had worked for them. And directly, in that friendly and loving atmosphere I felt: 'This is going to work for me!' - and it did, and that was today eleven and a half years ago.
Member: Debbie H
Location: AZ
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 3:44:06 PM
step 2, wow that took me awhile, I didnt believe anything when I first came in (I was mostly grumbling) and Im not sure when It happened, maybe about a month or so of going to meetings , I shared at a meeting, and what I said came out OKAY ! geeze I made sense !! and people liked me !! and I was staying sober, God was doing for me what I could not do for myself, then it hit me , he can and will restore me to sanity, and he is , wow!! so it was kinda the same for me, it happened but it took me awhile to even see it....
Member: xnuclearfission
Location: Florida
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 5:51:45 PM
Step 2 is really great. This is the beginning of getting over the dry drunk I was in step one. I belive in Jesus and God. What better higher power to choose. If you belive in God he will you restore you to sanity. We need to be more spiritual though. After all God is not there to meet self centered demands. If you dont belive yet, fake it till you make it(:->) Love xnuclearfission
Member: anonymous
Location:
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 7:29:48 PM
There came a time in my life, {if it can be called that} that "I became as willing as the desporate and dying can be." Having depleted all avenues of an ungodly way of life, and found it yet wanting and lacking, I became to realize that also the grave was creeping up on me. Twas a time to reconsider the issue of God. I cannot tell how it all came about the same way twice, but that I began to conform myself to the bible; and tried to both do and be all it said. If I were asked before that time if I was needing sanity I would have said yes. I didn't think I could find God, but I could follow what he had said, and perhaps my outlook on life would improve. Little and little I was renewed in my mind, and became less and less conformed to the world. AA became my social life rather than the local pub, but even that was I a stranger to. As for me, I think life is still insane, but I'm closer to heaven than to hell. In my sober moments, as I reflect on a life with God, it is when the adventure of life began. One has to be in such a place as to look back on it to see that any other way is vain and without purpose. If your sober, the world will drive you to drink, if your drunk it will drive you to soberity. It's not a sane place we live in but we do have God to turn to, who has a life more abundent. So on to step three.
Member: Harry K
Location: England
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 8:12:49 PM
Growing up I was always told by my parents that God would punish me for everything from failing school to not cleaning my room! I don't know by what grace it was that even then as a real young kid, I knew they were full of shit. I always knew there was a God watching over me. Years of foolish and dangerous behaviour with no real consecuenses convinced me of that, yet, I couldn't quite see how this God of mine could do anything more than keep me out of trouble. Restore me to sanity? I didn't know what that was. On May 23rd 1993 after a rip roaring drunk that for the first time in 28 years brought me to my knee's, I found myself lying on the floor in a fetal position crying and sobing in such a way I was embarrasing myself, I couldn't seem to stop. Without realising it I said out loud "Oh God help me please help me, my life is completly unmanageable and I'm powerless to do anything about it" (thinking of alcohol) At that moment I felt warm, and the room felt brighter though I didn't turn on any lights. Nothing had changed but everything had changed. Something occurred which gave me hope and I knew I had done my first and second steps as a package deal! At that point I had to find a sponsor because even though I was ready to turn it all over to GOD's care, I didn't have a clue as to what it meant. As I continued on my path, I found many other powers greater than myself as well as my God's. They came in the form of meetings, coffee outings with friends and at times through total strangers who might have said something while standing in line at the store. That power greater than myself talks to me through you. Thanks for all of you who share. I can't do this alone.
Member: Sam J
Location: Southeast
Date: 5/22/00
Time: 8:52:30 PM
Step two is a fine topic. I, for one, don't want to be restored to the "sanity" I possessed before I became alcoholic. Looking back now, I can see that I have been insane all my life. My experience has been that God has granted me sanity which I never had before. I did not even believe in God when I got here this last time on Nov. 13, 1975. I, however, was willing to believe and that is all it took to make a beginning. It has been a slow process with me, but I realize that I am totally God dependent. On my own I am nothing. I can honestly say that I am glad that I am an alcoholic because if I hadn't drank my way into alcoholism and almost died and then got sober in AA I would still be that miserable person that I was before I drank. For the first time in my life I have a degree of peace and serenity and a relationship with a loving God that I am eternally grateful for. I thank God for AA and for all you wonderful people in it. I just noticed that I didn't say this. I am an alcoholic, and my name is Sam. Thanks for letting me share and God bless.
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 2:53:03 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I have to be restored to sanity [rational thinking mental health] The reason my life was unmanageable and I had the obsession to drink was because something was wrong with my thinking. Step 2 says I can't fix myself and I need a higher power to do it.
Chapter 4 says I just have to be willing to believe that God will help me. To just believe that it is possible He will. I had a weak believe but it was enough to get me started.
Peace and Serenity
Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg, Canada
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 4:07:38 AM
Hi Everybody,
It took me a long time to simplify Step Two. I was hung up on the "believe" part as I thought it applied to a God I had rejected early in life. However, once I focused first on the insanity part, in the sense of my dependency upon alcohol and the resulting unmanageable behavior - such as my mind saying no to going to the liquor store, while my legs kept taking me there - I was at least motivated to look for something to help me. Then it dawned on me...
Step 2 doesn't say "Came to believe IN..", it says "Came to believe THAT..." This realization was a relief. I could come to believe THAT something greater than myself could restore my "legs" to sanity. That first belief of course was THAT my A.A. group could restore me to sanity in a very practical way, if I was willing. I was first reminded to "resign from the debating society" as to questions about peoples Higher Power, and just wait and listen until I found something I could agree with.
The God part came much later, and that was for me, what I now call a back-door approach. When we get to Step Three postings, I hope to post something about that.
Love to you all - Ken
Member: CEC H
Location: COWTOWN
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 4:27:43 AM
I did my step two with the help of the local police, I was 2 1/2 months sober when they picked me up for interrogation,after three hours or so ,they cut me loose, As I left the police station my first thought was I need a drink. My second thought was Please God Donn't let me. Now the walk from the police station to my place was some ten blocks or so. Past about six or seven bars including my favorite hangout. I donn't remember makeing the walk all I know is I came to in my apartment. And I was Sober,thats when I realized that God could do for me what I could not do for myself and the cravings I had been fighting for the last two months or so where gone. That was 19 years ago and guess what H.P. is still doing it. Another 24 to go please and take one for yourself.
Member: Jack B
Location: Cumbola, Pa
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 4:53:53 AM
Hi, I am Jack a real alcoholic.Thru the Grace of God, the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I don't have to drink today.That for me is the sanity that has been restored, the mental obsession that I have to drink has been lifted.IF we are talking about the square peg in the round hole sort of sanity then I am still probably a few french fries short of a happy meal. Step two for me was my first act of faith I came to believe in something other than myself.I realized early that no human power could relieve us of our alcoholism, but God could and would if HE were sought. For me, after a good number of twenty four hours sober, to sit here and think that I can drink successfully or that I have to drink to get thru life on God's terms is total insanity. God Bless all on our road in recovery.
Member: Kim S.
Location: Michigan
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 9:24:27 AM
Hi all! Alcoholic named Kim, here. Step 2...came to believe...first I came to (in jail, again), then I came to the meetings. I brought the body & the mind did follow. I heard with my HEART what those happy, joyous people were saying had worked for them. I started to hope that it just might work for me, too. Somewhere along the line, I came to believe that if it worked for them, it could work for me, too. How? Who knows? As for being restored to sanity...don't ya have to have had some before it can be restored? Insanity, I was told, meant doing the same things over & over, expecting different results. Oh, ok, yea, I did that. So, I started doing different things (the suggestions at meetings) & started getting different results. Some sanity has been given to me...a gift from a loving Higher Power. Wow! What a difference in my life today! Thanx for letting me share.
Member: Laura M.
Location: Tx
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 10:54:00 AM
Hi, my name is Laura and I'm an alcoholic. When I came to AA I read the steps and laughed. Step 2 "came to believe a power greater then me could restore me to sanity" I was not insane. Sure I had to run away from an abusive relationship with nothing but what I wore, sure my parents could trust me, my neices and nephews didn't know me and alot of times I woke up somewhere (that's when I went out and got a paper to find out the day and place of where I was) but insane never. The members of the Fellowship pointed out to me that NORMAL people don't do that. Well fine maybe I was insane when I was drinking but other then that I was normal, right? Again a long timer wisdom came through When I was not drinking i was thinking of drinking and I was a daily drinker. The point made was I just had to beleive in a Power greater then myself could help me. If I wasn't ready for God then use whatever I could to get there. I used my home group, they were staying sober and laughing when I couldn't. I then began to believe that I was insane living and beleived a power greater then myself could restore me to sanity as it was happening daily as I got sober, my stinking thinking left and i was getting healthy. Funny in 15 years I have never had to buy a paper for the date and place of my presence.
Member: Lynn S
Location: OR
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 11:31:36 AM
I'm Lynn and I'm an alcoholic. I came across a book shortly after I got sober for the fourth time around called, Came To Believe" and after reading through it I realized that I had had a spiritual awakening years before. But subsequently, I learned that for many people it is a process. Over the years that I've been sober I have wrestled with God. It was my will against His. It is a daily walk with me from the time I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night as to His will vs. mine. I wish I could share with you the suffering my will vs His has brought me. I have learned it all the hard way. Today, I choose to do my best to walk with him. Thanks for being here and thanks to all of the others who share their souls here.
Member: roz
Location: upstate ny
Date: 5/23/00
Time: 8:52:41 PM
Hello, Roz an alcoholic. I came to take step 2 when I was in rehab, less than two months ago. In learning about the steps, it came with such a sense of relief that in part, it(alcoholism & recovey) was out of my hands. Yes, I'm now responsible for my recovery and for doing the work but I didn't cause the disease and God, my HIGHER POWER is ever there to guide me and show me the way. There is alot of serenity to be gained believing in a power greater than ourselves, One that will nurture and take care of us if we let It in. Thanks for letting me share. God Bless
Member: sunny s.
Location: New Bedford, Mass
Date: 5/24/00
Time: 9:37:21 AM
I've made lists of the insane thoughts to keep track of what I was dealing with. I'll stop at 2 drinks. I'll only buy nips(one drink bottles). If I only drink 2 then I'm not a drunk. "Those people" (alcoholics) are low class bums. If I drive slow I won't get into an accident. If I drive with one eye closed, things won't be so blurred. If I get started drinking before the party, people won't notice how much I'm drinking. If I drink only after the kids have gone to bed and I throw up quietly, my drinking will never bother them. It's a disaster if things don't go my way. People just need to understand the consequences of not doing it my way and then they will do it my way. People who won't do it my way are bad and dangerous. I would be fine if people would just behave. I can't handle this right until after I relax for a while with some brandy and get my thoughts organized.
The list doesn't end here. It includes all the thinking that led to my intent to harm others. I was powerless to change my thinking. It didn't work to use my will to change my thinking. The universe isn't going to stop being the way it is to help me. I started feeling really afraid of my thinking, and I couldn't stop it.
As I heard more about the first step, about being powerless over people , places and things, the world grew larger. I was really afraid as my powerlessnes sunk in. There I was, powerless and crazy. It wouldn't go away. I was powerless and crazy 24/7. People in meetings said that the higher power could remove it. Well, something had to take it away or I had to die. I asked the highest light being in the universe to take it away as i had asked it to help me not to drink. I asked it to protect me. I asked it to fix my head even when I thought I didn't want it fixed. I started saying the 3rd step prayer. I started admitting that I was pretty crazy at meetings. People's laughter made me feel better. I had some moments of serenity. I had just enough of a taste of sserenity to make me keep going in the steps.
On a daily basis, I ask the higher power to remove the insanity.
Member: Linda S.
Location: Grover Beach
Date: 5/24/00
Time: 12:11:20 PM
I've been sober for 13 days, I'm obviously new to AA. When my 5 year relationship ended I tried to kill myself with alcohol and pills. I was having a hard time getting enough pills to do the job and I don't like messes. I came to one morning before the store opened and read the Big Book and something struck me, that I could get out of this pain. I cried out for help and AA and my Higher Power saved my life. I'm still very sad today but I know it will get better if I just don't drink and ask for guidance. Thank you for being there for me I love AA.
Member: Harry K
Location: U.K
Date: 5/24/00
Time: 8:14:13 PM
Thanks for your share Linda, God bless you and We love you!
Member: Dub.
Location: M.I.
Date: 5/24/00
Time: 10:24:06 PM
I'm Dub., I'm an Alcoholic & I need to be restored to sanity.I can freely admit that I'm powerless over alcohol & my life is definately unmanageable. This is where I have been for some time,unable to move on; stuck on the first step. I have no problem admitting to myself that I am insane & need to be restored to sanity.I am not stark raving "lock him up" insane.It's a soul sickness of sorts.I have very little peace of mind.I still think alcoholically.I am consumed with hate & self pity.I am an angry mess,yet I feel all my thoughts are justified.I cannot get better because until recently i have refused to take whatever means necessary to stay sober.I am not sober;I'm just not drinking.I know theres an easier way yet I stubbornly refuse to take the straight road.Instead I take the crooked back roads because I like to live in chaos & confusion.It is what I have been used to all my life.It is time for me to quit my old ways & try to move forwards.Being able to put my thoughts down like this helps me & hopefully somebody else.Thanks.
Member: ds
Location: nw
Date: 5/25/00
Time: 4:09:36 AM
ds alcoholic, i got on my knees and asked god to reveil himself to me then stayed open to see the clues ive done this step 4 time and all 4 times he has been there. when im convinced and amazed at the awsome things that begean around my i become willing to move on.
Member: Michelle
Location: Midwest
Date: 5/25/00
Time: 12:25:36 PM
Michelle, alcoholic and addict
I CAME
I CAME TO
I CAME TO BELIEVE
I used to have a card they handed out at a meeting, first I came, then I came to, kind of opened my eyes and awoke from the haze, and then came to believe was next...I never thought I could have moments of sanity. Today I do...and sometimes I'm even awake. I'm sober today because of my hp but it took each increment for me to believe. Have a wonderful day...Michelle
Member: Lindsey O
Location: paris, france
Date: 5/25/00
Time: 1:37:12 PM
it has hit home this week that this step works for more then just alcohol. God is going to restore me to sanity in every aspect of my life. i am on vacation with my parents and sister and at moments i want to just scream and run the other direction. in my meditation yesterday morning i realized part of my lack of serenity was a result of trying to cope with the stress of being with my family on my own. i don't have to do this. God can and will restore me to sanity in every aspect of my life. once i realized that i countinued on with turning it all over my serentity level rose and i was able to enjoy myself. i am so grateful to have these steps to work in every aspect of my life.
Member: anonymous
Location:
Date: 5/25/00
Time: 7:15:44 PM
In the hustle and bustle of this life, in the confoundedness of it all, where one is required to obtain a permit and prevented it by the very people that require the thing, where one is deprivledged on the right hand and the left by those that are in a position to excersize athority, where improvements so called are worse than before, where everything is vain and cumbersome, where all the meaningless jobs we do have only the paycheck as the cause before us, where our money is put in a bag with holes in it, where a man will work a bad work for the sake of rent, where everything is grevious and toilsome, all this and more if I were to take the time to jot it down is reason enough to seek dilegently that higher power that be. For who could pull himself out of such things without divine guidence? Unmanagable? if there were no alcohol on the face of the earth step two and three are still to be had and still to be sought. Look to the rainbow, and know God hath placed it in the sky. I thought to myself once that if that be his bow, well there must also be some arrows. That bow is just for rain! Ah yes, there is a life abundant if you are willing to accept poverty, risk, and a radical breach with the world, I for one know it's worth it. It's called "letting go absolutely".
Member: Joanna
Location: NW
Date: 5/26/00
Time: 12:42:55 PM
Joanna-Alcoholic, I am not sure I did this step all at once. I came in AA wanting to believe something or someone could help me stop killing myself, but the truth is I went on blind faith. I think over the last few years I have came to rely on this power I surrenderd to, and I have learned to trust in the unknown. It was no more a mystery to me that a power greater than me was needed to help me stay sober, than it was when they told me I did not have to drink again even if I wanted to. Steps 1,2, and 3 are the bedrock in which I can stay sober by. I love being sober and I can not thank AA enough, I was truly insaine when I got here, and I have been returned to sanity, but only by the grace of God, AA and the fellowship. Take it easy in your day. Joanna
Member: LAURA K
Location: COLORADO
Date: 5/26/00
Time: 5:50:56 PM
HI I'M LAURA IM A ALCOHOLIC IN MY FIRST 60 DAYS, TODAY FRIDAY ITS RAINING AND OLD DRINKING BUDDY CALLED, SCARED THE HECK OUT OF ME, SO I DID WHAT YOU PEOPLE TOLD ME TO DO, CALLED MY SPONSER, CALLED ANOTHER AAER, THEN LOG ON ANF LOW AND BEHOLD 2ND STEP IN THE WORKS. THANKS
Member: Jason A.
Location: Ohio
Date: 5/26/00
Time: 9:44:40 PM
If you look into the big book they isn't a part which is pointed out for step 2 like steps 3-12. But there is a chapter for step 2 read we agnostics. It is sorely dedicated to step two and making us understand the higher power concept. Some of us had very warped ideas about God and Some of us wouldn't believe in a higher power for various reasons. But the chapter We Agnostics breaks it down for us and even lets the most warped have a higher power. Thanks for a meeting. Another grateful Alcoholic, Jason A.
Member: Marjolein
Location: Netherlands
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 7:24:28 AM
Sorry, but I have a bit of a problem with the HP idea... I don't want to knock anyone - hey if it works for you - fine, great, wonderful. But I can't help wondering how to believe in a God who's going to save me - couldn't he have just nOt made me an alcoholic in the first place? Wouldn't that have been easier and less messy all round? However, not believing in God doesn't mean that I don't believe in the power of other people. I'm beginning to realise that I need the help of others to get me out of this stagnating period of life I seem to have been stuck in so long. Maybe tuning into the collective consciousness of so many other AA members will help me somehow. Is thAt maybe some sort of HP then??...hmmm, maybe that idea will work for me. But God as such doesn't score such high points with me. Thanks for listening - hope I haven't offended anyone - I have nothing agAinst believers, its just not something I can do anything with myself.
Member: Door C
Location: Illinois
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 9:30:39 AM
Having spent much of my life in misery, looking at the mess I believed the whole world was in, I found it extremely hard to believe in God. After all there was wars and people hurting children, etc. Where was he? I came in kicking and screaming, don't tell me to beieve in anything I can't touch or see or feel. And by the was, don't physically touch me. I was given a very simple explanation of Step two. Insanity is doing things the same way, and expecting different results. I had to agree that when I continued to do things the same way (hung around the drinking people, continued to be angry all the time) I was indeed miserable and what di I have to lose? Still, I took my time and only slowly, began to believe in the people around me who had something I did not, serenity. After a period of sometime, I began to put my fists down and quit trying to fight the whole world and felt safe in my AA world. That was just the beginning. Twenty-odd years later, I still find my higher power speaks to me thru the wisdom of people in the fellowship who know me and keep me thinking sanely and soberly. God is in my life. I can't say at what point I began to realize the neat "coinsidences" in my life were "Godinsidences" but it did happen, and for that I am grateful that I became n alcoholic, for without their guidance, I wouldstill be an unhappy, angry person, not knowing which way the road out was in.
Door, Illinois.
Member: Corinne M.
Location: Beautiful B.C.
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 2:37:43 PM
I'm Corinne alky/addict, I had a big problem with the word God when I got to these rooms. I related the word to regious groups, which I've never believed in. Today, I am happy for you if you are at peace whether your HP is something other than my own belief, after all don't you know who I am :) The way I can trust in Step 2 is this, When I pray to my HP I feel better, good, serene, calm, knowing. I can be in the middle of an angry blaming spree and when I stop and pray, the true reasons for my discomfort are revealed and relieved, if not at that precise moment then shortly after. Sanity...what a concept. Healthy for me and the people around me. I wish you all a joyful sober life and thank-you for mine.
Member: Robyn R
Location: Tennessee
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 4:30:10 PM
Hello I am a alcholic and addict. There is no question about my HP who today i choose to call God. God pulled me out of the sea of hell. There was this person deep in my soul crying for help. I was killing myself. I could not stop! Everything I tried, everyone who I talked to, I could not stop killing myself. Till one day the pain got so great I closed my eyes and ask for help. Not MAN. My HP. And the words was not for that moment but for the rest of my life. It has been 4 years and I"m still fighting to stay clean and sober. There is not a day go by I dont ask for help to make it one day at a time and I let his will be done. Thank you for listening. I needed to hear this myself!
Member: tony a
Location: montana
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 5:33:39 PM
thanks for the step meeting,it was just what i needed to read. my higher power is working!!
Member: Georgiana
Location: Toronto
Date: 5/27/00
Time: 8:42:37 PM
Hi everyone, Georgiana, alcoholic, here....
Lindsey O. - there are fabulous English speaking AA meetings in Paris; I was there a couple of weeks ago myself and got to quite a few. I was travelling with my boyfriend, which is almost as crazy as travelling with one's parents, and they definitely helped me keep my head together. There's a website with days, times, directions etc. - www.aaparis.org... check them out if you can!
Cheers, and a happy, sober 24 to all who wish it.