Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 08:34 AM -0400
I have found over the years that I am the only one that can keep myself from drinking.Actually I had made the decision to stop drinking before I came thru the doors of AA.I was not insane and I have not met too many people in AA over the years that were insane.But I did go along with the concept because everyone else was doing it,how insane was that???Personally I truly believe that a person has to be truly insane in order to be in the need of having to have their sanity restored.A mental hospital is the proper place for such sufferers.So I had no need for my sanity to be restored since I had to be sane in order to realize that the bottle was killing me.All I ever wanted to do when I came to AA was to never drink again.But soon after becoming a member I realized that the main purpose of AA was to convert drunks over to religion,all being done under the cover of helping the alcoholic stop drinking.It was not too long that I realized in order for the program to work I indeed had to not ever drink again.But wait I had quit before I ever went to a meeting so why did I need to be converted to religion just to do what I had already chosen to do.It did not make sense and still does not make sense.So I discovered no matter how many meeting and prayers and meditations I did the fact was I was the only power that could keep myself from drinking.I am glad that AA is here for everyone who feels that they are insane.The reason I stick around is for the fellowship,not the program.
Member: davidh
Location: Nashville T N
Remote Name: 68.52.234.57
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 10:23 AM -0400
david H alcoholic, after i got around 6 months of sobriety, I got a job at the treatment center where I got sober. I worked some on the detox center and the psyche word at the other end of the building. There was not a lot of difference in the behavior of either group of patients. In fact some of the people coming off alcohol and drugs were the craziest of all. The stuff is not exactley good on the old brain chemicals. I myself while still drinking, I always thought that if this situation would change or these people would leave me alone, or if I could just sit here and drink all I wanted, everything would be fine. If thats not insane, what is? I have been sober in AA for over 5 years and nobody has tried to convert me to any form of religion. GOD is just a fact for me now but Im still not very religous. People who are angry with AA or dont get the spirituality concept should just try another program and get on with it. If it doesnt work, hey AA willl still be around. The fact is though AA works when you work it. Its by far the most successfull program for alcohoics of all time.
Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 11:15 AM -0400
Of course anythng will work if you work it.If you row a boat,it will work,you will get there,you wont if you dont.
Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 11:15 AM -0400
Of course anythng will work if you work it.If you row a boat,it will work,you will get there,you wont if you dont.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Remote Name: 80.14.107.84
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 12:46 PM -0400
I say, whatever, but go find something that will work because what you have isn't working if you're continuously ruminating (obsessed) with AA. The obsession ( mental thirst) comes in many forms and I see it as nothing more than the insanity progression. Dry drunks are always pi**ed off, argumentative, because they WANT a drink but deny themselves drink.
Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos
Remote Name: 216.222.244.87
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 01:54 PM -0400
Good morning all!! I try to keep it simple, because I can think, think, think myself into a tizzy. For me, the insanity is that old worn out idea that comes to me that "this time it will be different" that perhaps the booze won't kick my butt, or there will be some sort of control. This is insanity, illusion, obsession, whatever you want to call it. It's a LIE!!! For me sanity is being able to see the truth. I can see the truth today, that I am an alcoholic and cannot safely drink, because for today my sanity has been restored by the practice of these twelve steps and traditions in my life. AA has given me a new way of life where I don't have to obsess about things anymore. I can wear life like a loose garment, enjoy myself, and be happy. None of which were possible at the end of my drinking, or for a long time before that. Thank the God of my understanding that he got me to AA and thank AA for my new way of life. I love it!!! Hope you all have a wonderful sober day!!!
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 05:15 PM -0400
At my first AA meeting, a gentleman came up to me took me aside and told me I was sick, but could get well if I wanted to. The moment I agreed with that man I had taken a sufficient first step......He also told me that you all could help me get well. AA was to become a "power" greater than myself. That was a sufficient Second Step. Through AA I found a God of my understanding. There is power in common cause and numbers. Catch a single snow flake in you hand and it will melt and go away. Put a bunch of those suckers together and they can tie up a major city for days. There is power in numbers. I cannot, but We can. Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. Love ya, Bill
Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 209.165.13.74
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 05:39 PM -0400
Hi all, Kathleen here alcoholic. ((((Bill))) I love the analogy of the snow flakes. Very good. Heck yeah I was in insanity. Lost custody of my one year old son whom I love deeply, because I couldn't quit drinking. To this day I have no idea how I got in touch with my first AA. I know it was in 1976. Today I belive God led me there. And it doesn't matter that I can't remember. Just my opinion, but I feel if someone belives they can stop on their own and they can indeed stop on their own isn't an alcoholic. There is a big difference between being an alcoholic and being an abuser of alcohol. But, doesn't really matter to me how ya'll do it, AA was the key to freedom for me. Only if you have been on that spiritual high that is unmatched by alcohol or drugs.....can you understand that feeling. Totally awesome. Peace Kathleen
Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 165.121.133.32
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 09:51 PM -0400
HI ,EVERYONE STEPHEN ALCOHOLIC,well,i have came to believe that there is a power greater then me and it really gave me a true test this week and all i did was stop what i ws doing and got on my knees and pray to my higher power and the situation really got settle,plus i talk with someone form my home group and i left alot better,so i miss all of you and also dont here from all my friends that ive made and so hope that they come back soon and so if there is anyone new or old that is just coming back and they need a friend or just someone to talk with im here for you and im responisable and if know one has told you today they love you,well i am and you can reach me at fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com or germgrabber2000@yahoo.com
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: 11 Apr 2004
Time: 10:33 PM -0400
Somtimes I laugh at the insane things I did while I was drinking or coming off a bender. Like the time I went on a binge and just stopped going to work, I didn't call, didn't answer the phone and one day a cheque and R.O.E came in the mail. I hadn't been there long 2 months maybe so I convinced myself that I didn't care, sobered up once again and proceeded on with life like nothing happened. A few days later I was at Safeway, from a distance I saw a woman from my former office, and then she saw me and looked like she was coming towards me to talk, I bolted, hiding in the aisles, sneaking around the corners until I could make to the bathroom where I hid for 15 minutes until I was sure she was gone. That I can laugh at, but alot of the insanity I can't laugh at, I still feel some shame and remorse and regret at times, but with time that shall pass. To me the power that helped restore me to sanity was the love, understanding and compassion that so many people in program have bestowed upon me. The power is in the rooms, we can when I can't, strength in numbers etc, etc. It is an awesome power.
Member: Steven062802
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.131.190.84
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 12:11 AM -0400
Hi there, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Steven. When I was about sixty days sober I got this phone call (at work) from a credit card company to whom (who? whom? Grin) I owe lots of money...and to make a loooonnngg story shorter...I ended up yelling crying and making a mess of myself to the woman on the phone because she just didn't understand why I couln't give her any money. I was standing there with the phone in my hand, tears and my nose running like crazy...and when I hung the phone up I noticed that one of my longtime customers had been standing there and had heard every word, sniffle and shout.......I was going to run out of work (as I did often) and head to my favorite booze boutique because my head was spinning in fear, shame and uncertainty. Before I could even move an inch my customer held out his hand and showed me a white chip sitting in his palm. It was THAT moment that I began to have faith in that I was being taken care of. Now, a year and nine months later...that same man comes into my shop needing to pick up another white chip. He hasn't stayed sober, but his gesture back when I was so scared and hopeless allowed me to be kind and make sure that he knew how he had helped me. I pray to the Higher Power, that I KNOW to exist, that he comes back. I pray that I remember how desperate I had felt back then and that when my faith is tested, as it has, that it remains. I have come to believe. If you are reading these posts and are having a hard time finding your own Higher Power...you don't have to hunt down your 'power'...one day you might just be walking along and feel a little tap on your shoulder just when you need it. You'll be okay...you'll be taken care of. All the best, Steven
Member: Steven062802
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.131.190.84
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 12:11 AM -0400
Hi there, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Steven. When I was about sixty days sober I got this phone call (at work) from a credit card company to whom (who? whom? Grin) I owe lots of money...and to make a loooonnngg story shorter...I ended up yelling crying and making a mess of myself to the woman on the phone because she just didn't understand why I couln't give her any money. I was standing there with the phone in my hand, tears and my nose running like crazy...and when I hung the phone up I noticed that one of my longtime customers had been standing there and had heard every word, sniffle and shout.......I was going to run out of work (as I did often) and head to my favorite booze boutique because my head was spinning in fear, shame and uncertainty. Before I could even move an inch my customer held out his hand and showed me a white chip sitting in his palm. It was THAT moment that I began to have faith in that I was being taken care of. Now, a year and nine months later...that same man comes into my shop needing to pick up another white chip. He hasn't stayed sober, but his gesture back when I was so scared and hopeless allowed me to be kind and make sure that he knew how he had helped me. I pray to the Higher Power, that I KNOW to exist, that he comes back. I pray that I remember how desperate I had felt back then and that when my faith is tested, as it has, that it remains. I have come to believe. If you are reading these posts and are having a hard time finding your own Higher Power...you don't have to hunt down your 'power'...one day you might just be walking along and feel a little tap on your shoulder just when you need it. You'll be okay...you'll be taken care of. All the best, Steven
Member: Steven062802
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.131.190.84
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 12:12 AM -0400
Sorry for clicking twice!
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Northern CA
Remote Name: 66.81.50.235
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 12:37 AM -0400
I hadn't lived life anywhere close to being sane for the 18 years of my drinking and using career prior to arriving in AA the first time in 1986, so that when I first saw this step, I really started to balk. I thought "Restore me to what?" There was never any sanity to restore me to! I sure didn't want to go back to being a confused 11 and a half year old! LOL!! I focused more on the "Came to believe" portion at first, too, because sanity was such a foreign concept to me. I also had to come to terms with this concept that I could create for myself regarding a Power greater than myself. That was the most awesome thing to be told I could do - that was one of the first times I had felt real freedom in my life in a very long time! I could create something to help me along this path, and it would be all mine and no one could argue me against it or out of it. Some things that really helped me with Step 2 were the book "Came to Believe" and the Chapter to the Agnostic, along with the Appendix on Spiritual Experience in the back of the BB. Once I got a fix on what this step would eventually open me up for in Step 3, I was raring to go, because I really saw what was coming down the pike in the rest of the steps, and I did get frustrated at times that parts of this step slowed me down before I was able to fully comprehend it and move on to the next. I also love how this step is so useful in working through situations involving people, places and things that come up during ongoing sobriety, and especially during those times when I get complacent and somewhat restless, irritable and discontent with living life on life terms. There, I think I threw in all the standard AA metaphors and jargon I could think of along these lines - but the simple truth of the matter is that it really does all boil down to some simple truths. When Drinking, I was quite insane because I allowed it to control my life. My thinking was quite as insane as it could get, considering the situations I would allow myself to get in behind my human condition. In my normal human condition, I would not allow myself to do the dangerous things I would allow, once I added alcohol into the mix. The sad fact was that in my normal state, I was too scared to give myself the life I dreamed of, and I thought alcohol was a vehicle to get me there. But once alcohol was introduced, I went about getting my needs met in all sorts of bizarre ways that I would never have done while not drinking. Now that's insanity! Because I would vow to never do that again, and the next day by 5:30pm, there I was again, starting all over again, year in year out.
Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 09:57 AM -0400
Adam, alcoholic. I think it was AZbill who talks about what happens when you sober up a drunken horse theif...you still have a horse theif. That's a real important lesson for me to remember because with no alcohol and no steps, I still create a lot of chaos in my life. My tools for living before AA were alcohol, violence, sarcasm and isolation; simply eliminating alcohol left me with violence, sarcasm and isolation. It doesn't take a gifted mind to guess that the things I did again and again with those tools could hardly be called sane...they weren't, but it was the best I could do and it sucked. For me, Step 2 was acknowledging that my sick mind could not cure my sick mind and therefore I needed the help of something more powerful than me if I was going to stop. The power I came to believe in at first was the Group Of Drunks (G.O.D.) who set a good example for me to follow and gave me guidance on how to walk away from the person I had been all my life to be the person AA said I was, in fact, capable of being. That little bit of belief in AA was enough to make a start. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 66.119.33.170
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 10:40 AM -0400
For me my insanity, was not knowing that I was insane. Truth be told I was profoundly insane in everything. Aside from continuing to drink even though, I suffered miserably every time I drank. I dwelt in constant fear, drama and chaos. Even all the good things, I did for all the wrong reasons. The first time I accepted this step I did not believe in a God who was interested in me, but I was afraid of drinking again so I took this step on faith. Now that I have had some time in Peace and sanity, thanks to the steps and AA, I can clearly see the insanity of the drama and chaos and fear that was my life. Today, my disease still waits. The sh*tty committee in my head is always ready to jump in and try to take me back to the insane horror that was my life. It is God, demonstrated in the steps, you and AA which calms those insane thoughts and allows me live another day happy, joyous and free.
Member: joe W
Location: Lufkin, TX
Remote Name: 66.76.20.235
Date: 12 Apr 2004
Time: 10:51 AM -0400
Adam H You have said it all. thanks.
Member: Barry D
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Remote Name: 207.34.65.221
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 02:03 AM -0400
Step 2...After 3 years of staying sober and attempting to do it my way, at times thinking i was ok and not at others. i could talk a pretty good talk and was good at lying about how well i was doing to any one who would ask. Deep down my life was totaly unmanageable, i was frustrated, angry, lonely, discontent and again at the jumping off place. Pain motivated me to listen to what my sponsor had to suggest, and he helped me STUDY the Step. He suggested Step 2 in BB was MORE THAN just " We Agnostics ", it did start on BB PG 44. He added that Step 2 also included the the first part of "How it Works" up to Page 63 where it states We are now at Step 3. He added Step 2 reading of BB Pgs 285 L3-9, 471 L18-72 & 472, 473 L 21-31, 550 L28-33, 551 L1-3. He also led me through Step 2 in the 12x12. He asked me which of the five characters listed in the 12x12 applied to me???((ie.)) #1 The one who says he won't believe pg 25, #2 Those who once had faith, but have lost it pg 28, #3 the intellectually self sufficient man or woman pg 29, #4 The plumb disgustred with religion and all it's works pg 30, #5 The guy full of faith, but still reeking of alcohol pg 31. He asked me to STUDY Step 2 and come back to tell him which one i was, after i had it figured out. He also suggested i spend a liitle more time on Step 1. i thought this would be easy, each time i figured out who i was, he asked me to take another look. 3-4 times later i had become increasingly ANNOYED and was considering another sponsor. In the end he suggested, and i have since come to believe that i might be able to personaly relate to each one of the 5 characters. He also pointed out that Step 1 and Step 2 were simply steps of reflection. Step 1 Honesty and Step 2 Openmindedness. He asked if i could see evidence of people in AA getting results, did i want and was i prepared to do the same things they did to get those same results. He was talking about more than just being sober, he was talking about everything the Promises offer. i admited that yes i could see that, i yes i wanted those same results. He then showed me that DEFIANCE IS AN OUTSTANDING CHARACTERISTSTIC OF MANY ALCOHOLICS. i didn't have to look far to see evidence of that in my life. He stated that there was a board and meeting for everybody's butt in AA, find the meeting and the people whose experience, strength, hope and God conscience best reflects that of my own. Find the people who have what i want and ask them how they got it. i had to become Open Minded, take the cotton out of my ears and place it in my mouth for a change. Study, don't read the black on white and stop looking for reasons why i'm unique and rationalizing/justifying why it can't work for me. Stop reading between lines. Sponsors are a pain in the >>> but he was right, and once i left the debate, my life became increasingly more simple. Make a decision... Thanks for my sobriety
Member: Barry D
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Remote Name: 68.145.97.110
Date: 13 Apr 2004
Time: 04:51 PM -0400
I apologize, for those interested i was working from 3rd edition BB. 2 more Step 2 BB related readings given that helped were found on Pg 163 L 1-9 and Pg 560. Thanks for my sobriety
Member: stuartf
Location: london uk
Remote Name: 81.154.65.138
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 10:04 PM -0400
I've never been to a treatment centre, never been in detox, never been to jail when I was drinking. Grateful to find AA otherwise I would have died of a disease I never realised I had. Insane? Moi? impossible, until my sponsor, a recovered alkie explained to me that the only way I could come to believe this Power could restore me to sanity was to work the rest of the programme and that the insanity implicit in the second step was not the insanity that occurred after drinking. It was the insanity that preceded the first drink..."This time it'll be different." Slippery, you ought to try this programme and find out if you really are an alcoholic. Doesn't sound like it if you can stay sober on your own
Member: stuartf
Location: london uk
Remote Name: 81.154.65.138
Date: 14 Apr 2004
Time: 10:18 PM -0400
By the way Slippery, you're right about one thing. The AA programme IS about God...100% It's about finding God and allowing God in to direct your path. That's the truth. Ye canny fudge it Cap'n Kirk....recovery ain't about feelings, or issues, or finances, or even fellowship...it's about finding God, and I'm grateful to the recovered alkies who told me the truth about my problem...POWERLESSNESS and the truth about the solution..... finding a POWER GREATER THAN MYSELF THAT WOULD SOLVE MY PROBLEM
Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 63.135.65.199
Date: 15 Apr 2004
Time: 10:51 AM -0400
After admitting my powerlessness in step 1 there was a big void in my life. So my sponsor wrapped me up in her arms and moved me on to step 2. When I was held captive for so many years by alcohol; it was hard for me to believe that I was finally going to be free from it. This is where I found my new source of strenth and power. I sought this power in the rooms of AA and it's literature. It wasn't this one or that one or in that story or this story, but in all of them. It was the power of hope and courage of strength that gave me a belief toward a valuable contribution on opening my spiritual doors. As I grew and matured emotionally, I also grew spirituality. The power that I finally believed in comes in Step 3; my HP.
Member: jeff ely
Location: alaska
Remote Name: 209.165.189.18
Date: 16 Apr 2004
Time: 04:43 AM -0400
hi there i'v been sober for 1 year on may 16 2004 and now been in recovery too now i need to learn the 12 steps and need help
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 205.188.116.144
Date: 17 Apr 2004
Time: 09:40 PM -0400
mark here, alcoholic,hey jeff get a big book read it read it again get a sponsor work your steps step 2 for me is that no man (human power ) can restore me to sanity so i need a higher power to do that (god) for me that is give me a email and we'll talk jeff kidmills117@aol.com
Member: sarah E
Location: NWUSA
Remote Name: 205.162.15.2
Date: 17 Apr 2004
Time: 11:16 PM -0400
Sanity today is there is a 'Healing Power' that will help me to stay sober today. The 'Healing Power' isn't me, the 'Healing Power' isn't you, but I have found a 'Healing Power' in the shared Experience, Strength and Hope,and the steps and traditions Thanks one and all. Another day sober.