Member: Corinne B.
Location: Northern CA
Remote Name: 66.81.50.170
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 05:01 PM -0500

Comments

Hello Everyone - I love what the 12&12 has to say about this Tradition, especially the story about the guy who came in and wanted to be accepted into the fold, but he feared rejection due to his other, more heinous, addiction. All are welcome, and all are welcomed, here in Alcoholics Anonymous providing they do have that one important component - the desire to stop drinking. It doesn't even say you have to have the desire to stay stopped. I actually know a guy who has never once changed his sobriety date, and who has drank again every once in awhile. He says he never drank to get drunk, and never got drunk, again, and so since he still maintains, and has always maintained, a desire to stop drinking, even though he hasn't done that one part 100%, he is a member in good standing even throughout all the times he drank again here & there; he still dates his sobriety date back to his first day here. Whatever works - it really doesn't matter, because it's not between him and me, it's between him & God - not my business. Not anybody's business but his own. And that story to me is more proof that there are no rules, no musts. I may not want what that person has, but I respect his right to have his take on his sobriety date.


Member: TomG
Location: California
Remote Name: 209.247.222.83
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 11:20 PM -0500

Comments

I'm Tom and I am an alcoholic. I love this step because it allowed me into this room back when I thought I was not "sick" enough. We are not all at the same place relative to each other, on the way down the scale or back up. This tradition makes such statements as "I really earned my seat in AA" seem like such hogwash. We earned our seats with a desire to stop drinking. Also, Tradition 3 helps to remove the bondage of judgement.


Member: Barry D
Location: Calgary Alberta Canada
Remote Name: 207.34.65.225
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 01:38 AM -0500

Comments

Tradition 3, When i first started AA, there were a number of times i wasn't totaly convinced i was an alcoholic. i recall the obsession that maybe i did have one more drink left in me, possibly i wasn't quite as bad off as all the others in the room and if i could just get some dry time in i would be ok. So without ever having studied or read the BB or 12X12, Tradition 3 gave me reason to stay. Not that i wasn't totaly bankrupt body, mind and spirit, but the obsession remained just the same. As the fog started to lift and my sponsor put me to work, this tradition became one i hung on to more than any other. The obsession that i was different continued for some time. i traveled for many years all over the USA and Canada on business. My opinion of myself and ego was quite high. When i read this tradition i felt i could really relate to Ed. My sponsors and those that 12 Steped me were also quite willing to let me exercise my will and work the program Barry's way if i chose. There was no brow beating or AA sales pitch. No one ran out of the rooms after me when i would leave in a tantrum. The first meeting i attended liked to use a baby nipple, which would be thrown out on the table when one was caught up in poor me or themselves. i recall leaving and swearing to never return, being totaly indignant that they would treat someone like me in such a manner. i would head straight out and back to the bar. i didn't stick around or ask any questions to realize there were other meetings, other wise i would have got caught up in the find a better meeting exercise. As if i would have had any clue between a good or bad meeting. They let me go back out and drink, some even encouraged it, i was furious. What was this AA about anyways, what a bunch of non sense. The lonliness that comes to a man in a motel room is indescribeable. Only some one who has spent months traveling could relate. One day in Illinois i was ready to shoot my self, but first i would forward my pocessions home via mail and get drunk. The Gideon Bible was there as well, but religion hadn't worked. Something happened to me that night, and i'm not refering to a God in my presense experience. The fear and loniness was indescribable, such as i had never felt in my life. Next day i quit my job and flew back home. Thankfully AA kept a place for me, was patient, tolerant and i was to learn later very loving. Coming from a man who spent most of his life in the machine business, loving isn't a word that easily pops from ones mouth. The Old Timers at that meeting understood full well what i needed and were willing to trust to the God of they're understanding. AA is the only thing that has worked for me and i am forever gratefull. Now after 14 years if i could only get my job back...sober


Member: Demetri
Location: NJ
Remote Name: 67.82.109.97
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 03:17 AM -0500

Comments

Hey Family my name is Demetri I'm an alcoholic/addict and I'm fairly new to recovery. I'm sharing at this meeting somewhat reluctantly because I know the twelve traditions have worked so well for AA's and as they say "if it ain't broke don't fix it." However this tradition bothers me and I must explain why. I came into the room struggling a number of drug addictions and not believing entirely that I needed to stop drinking in order to deal with these. I have since learned better but had I allowed this tradition to keep me out of the rooms when I lacked the desire to stop drinking I never would have stuck around long enough to learn that I needed to stop drinking too. I feel that this could be easily remedied by Making the only requirement for membership a desire to stay sober. I hope I haven't offended any one. If any one else can relate to the way I felt all I can say is keep coming back where it not for the message I found in the rooms of AA I would not be sober today. Thank for Listening God Bless.


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 09:59 AM -0500

Comments

Adam, alcoholic...and I am in the same boat as TomG from California. Not only was I scared that I had not earned my seat when I came in to AA, but I was also really afraid that someone would tell me that I was too young to be an alcoholic. I was only 21 when I came in, and I was ready for some crusty oldtimer to tell me that he spilled more than I drank. I am so grateful no one did. I also believe that if not for this tradition, I probably could not have worked that first step. If there had been any other qualifications that had to be met beyond a desire to stop drinking in order for me to admit to my innermost self that I couldn't do life with or without alcohol and I needed help, I guarantee you I wouldn't be here. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Martha P
Location: Virginia
Remote Name: 207.69.139.136
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 10:29 AM -0500

Comments

I love step 3. It is all inclusive. In this step the field is leveled and everyone is the same. I wish that I could do more to remember to try to carry this step into other areas of my life. Imagine how the world would be if the only requirement for living was to breath and we were all the same. Hmmm, smacks of John Lennon. Anyway, when I came in the rooms it was so nice to know unconditional love and acceptance and I am sure it is because of the steps. Thanks BW. Thanks for letting me share and have a great week!


Member: Kim D
Location: Bridgewater
Remote Name: 209.113.227.200
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 11:18 AM -0500

Comments

((Everyone))... Surely if this Tradition was worded any other way or included other requirements, I would have never stayed around the halls long enough to see or experience recovery from alcoholism. I was listening to a BB Step Study disc the other day, and it mentioned that Bill Wilson first had Tradition 3 worded as "a sincere desire to stop drinking..." Can you imagine? I don't know about anyone else, but when I first came into Alcoholics Anonymous, I just wanted the pain to stop or to get the heat off my back. If I had to have a "sincere" desire, then I might have never found this fellowship. I wouldn't reword this for anything...


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 66.119.33.199
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 11:38 AM -0500

Comments

For many years I stayed away from AA, because I was sure I wasnât welcomed here or anywhere. You see, I was one of those ăqueersä mentioned in the 12&12 in the 3rd Tradition. I didnât want to be who I was and for most of my life I only wanted to die, but was too cowardly to kill myself. I also did a lot of drugs trying to cope with my fears, so I didnât believe I was a ătrue alcoholicä. The most important fact in my life today above all else is that I am a ăreal alcoholicä as described in the Big Book on page 21. I came to AA totally beaten, without much hope. I hung onto this tradition as my lifeline when I heard the snickering and joking in the rooms about my sexual orientation and I kept coming back. Today, I wake up every morning astonished and grateful for the God which allows my experiencing Love for you, myself and the still suffering alcoholic in this same lifetime.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 03:30 PM -0500

Comments

HI. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. The Traditions are the glue that holds AA together (Unity) and protects you from me. The precursor to the Long Form states. "Our AA experience has taught us that:...." This tells me that these traditions were well thought out and designed to hold AA to its singleness of purpose. The recovery from alcoholism. The long form goes way beyond the desire to stop drinking. We may not refuse anyone who wishes to recover from alcoholism. We deal with nothing else. It also mentions that we should never depend on money or conformity. And best of all...any two or three alcoholics gathered together for sobriety may call themselves a group provided that as a group, they have no other affiliation. Chatting in the grocery store can be an AA meeting. Ya gotta love it. :) Love ya all. Thanks Bill


Member: Tiffany
Location: Houston
Remote Name: 64.12.116.198
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 09:22 PM -0500

Comments

To me this is the beautiful part of the program. The fact that no matter what i've done or how messed up i am, no one can keep me out. I have the same chance for recovery as everyone else. All my life i felt judged, i thought that when i came to the program people would reject me for my crimes of the past. But they haven't because of traditions like this. People have unconditionally loved me, which helped me to learn to love myself. I needed to learn that because a lot of the things i worried about others judgeing me on, were the things i beat myself up over. When i think of where i would be now if AA had shut its doors to me, it makes me extremly grateful that i was welcomed with open arms. It also helps me to think about how in my own ways i still turn my back to people trying to get sober. Like i form a personal resentment towards them for one reason or another, (usually because they are a lot like me), so i dont reach out as much as i could, or i become impatient and intolerant w/ them. When i'm coming out of fear i'm never coming out of love.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 69.3.222.108
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 10:23 PM -0500

Comments

As I sat there in the back corner of a speaker meeting at the club with a large Dunkin Dougnuts coffee, extra cream and a half pint of rotgut vodka, I longed for a solution for my problems. Maybe I can quit drinking tomorrow.


Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 205.188.116.133
Date: 30 Mar 2004
Time: 12:37 AM -0500

Comments

I'm Gage and I am an alcoholic. I made the diagnosis that I'm an alcoholic myself. Nobody in AA told me I'm an alcoholic. I wasn't required to say I'm an alcoholic, and I didn't say it until I knew that it was true. The Third Tradition, then you could say, helped save my life, because had I been required to do much more than to simply want to stop drinking when I came to AA, I don't think I could have done it. Peace to all of you.


Member: Chris W.
Location: Key West, FL
Remote Name: 68.218.8.235
Date: 31 Mar 2004
Time: 06:14 AM -0500

Comments

I wanted to get sober. I knew that I had to get sober. I was afraid that if you got to know me though, you wouldn't let me stay. I was alwats good at hiding me - I made all the right moves on the outside. When all of these right moves got me "too close" to you, then I would run away again for fear of being kicked out. When I FINALLY came to understand that "The ONLY requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking",then I understood that none of the rest of MY garbage really mattered and I was able to begin to share, to make friends, to learn how to love, and above all become sober. Thanks from the bottom of my heart to all of you. Live and Let Live.(As its turned out most of MY garbage was simply that - MINE. I made much more out of it than anybody else ever would have. Ego problem?) Please, go to meetings, get a sponsor, and work the steps with all your heart - for me it was slavation. Thanks for listening. Love and Peace from Key West.


Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.163.172
Date: 31 Mar 2004
Time: 06:08 PM -0500

Comments

well,hello to everyone is me again (stephen)-and sorry to be gone so long, but this step is truely a wonderful step and i reall had a true test this week,because ive been sick allweek and ground to bed rest and it was very hard for me,especially since im a go person and so i miss all of you and i also havent been to a meet in sometime and and also on the A.A.hotline so ive truely been really busy but also sick and doing all of this from being sick in bed and so if anyone would like to talk or just need a friend im here and you can contact me at the following fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com and----------------germgrabber2000@yahoo.com and hope to here form you and also anyone needs the hand of A.A.im here and responisable...stephen...


Member: Serenity
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 207.177.76.187
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 10:54 AM -0500

Comments

I'm glad this tradition is there, because all I had to have was a desire to stop. I didn't know how to stop, when I first went to AA with alcohol on my breath because I could not go a whole day without drinking.... AA taught me that with God's help and AA I could do anything for 24 hours. I'll never forget that first meeting I made it through completely sober. They told me to just not drink for one day, and go to a meeting that night, and if I felt like drinking in between to call someone. The desire to stop was there, but the know how was learned in the rooms and by the people God put in my life to show me "How It Works"....12 steps, sponsorship, and turning it over to my Higher Power every day has worked for many One Day's At A Time. I shudder to think what might have become of me, without this tradition in place. They might have kicked me out of AA that night the seed was planted, and I would never know the joy and fellowship I have come to know today. I Love AA, the steps, the traditions, the slogans, the people, and my Higher Power that made it all possible. God Bless Y'all! One more daily reprieve...comin at ya! Serenity


Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 64.118.240.97
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 04:07 PM -0500

Comments

I LOVE this tradition. I could never really understand what the 12&12 story was all about until I came out of the fog and realized it was talking about me. I am a women alcoholic that had the DESIRE to stop drinking. I wasn't told by any person that I was an alcoholic, but a priest did tell me that I had a problem and my ex husband wanted to have me committed. I am a member of AA. I am not alone and will never choose to be. AA has given me the Continuation of the DESIRE not to pick up the first one. Thans to a HP as we all understand, AA is around for all who have that DESIRE.


Member: Peggy E
Location: Salem, Oregon
Remote Name: 24.20.247.153
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 10:20 PM -0500

Comments

Hi! I'm Peggy. I'm an alcoholic who came in AA with a desire to stop drinking - IF that is what has caused all my problems and has made me go crazy. I have heard that many years ago the old timers would check out the new ones and if they still had a watch on or a pair of shoes they were told to go out and do more drinking until they were serious about getting help. Thank God it isn't that way now. People can get off any where on the train that is roaring down hill out of control. Also sometimes Alanons come into AA through that door but join us with a desire to stop drinking. So that's what I have learned on this topic.


Member: BobH
Location: 99926
Remote Name: 64.186.99.250
Date: 02 Apr 2004
Time: 02:47 PM -0500

Comments

ISM not WASM I love it BobH alcoholic


Member: Jeff
Location: SD CA
Remote Name: 24.161.160.17
Date: 03 Apr 2004
Time: 02:16 AM -0500

Comments

My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. 3rd Tradition is simple and I am glad - I am sure that I could complicate things if I think about it too long.... The desire to stop drinking is huge...it is the only membership requirement for AA but also such a great gift for me as an alcoholic to get. As soon as I acted on the desire to stop drinking and went to a meeting and got the book and a sponsor and took steps some very godd things have happened for me ----and I have not had to start drinking for a while now. Thanks for being here.


Member: Dean
Location: Fargo
Remote Name: 24.117.105.135
Date: 04 Apr 2004
Time: 11:50 AM -0400

Comments

I guess i just got to the point where i had to ask for help,there was no more trying to figure it out on my own, and gratefully i had a phone # of someone in recovery, i guess wheni started to go to meetings and would hear this tradition read i would think that i should try to keep it simple, a desire is somthing from within it isnt something i have to carry around and show it to someone like a membership card, but for me the desire was to stop the insanity and blackouts. its odd ive been sober for over 10years and last nite i had a drinking dream and it came out of nowhere i have been doing THE program as i always have, but it was one of those dreams where i woke up in my dream and seen the destruction my drinking had done and the total remorse and guilt of relapse , but thank God it was a dream and i can be more gratefull today and try to share my ESH with someone today, i think the dream came from my job i work parttime at a detox center and last nite a couple came in and they reminded me of myself in alot of ways so that could be it.


Member: Dean
Location: Fargo
Remote Name: 24.117.105.135
Date: 04 Apr 2004
Time: 11:50 AM -0400

Comments

I guess i just got to the point where i had to ask for help,there was no more trying to figure it out on my own, and gratefully i had a phone # of someone in recovery, i guess wheni started to go to meetings and would hear this tradition read i would think that i should try to keep it simple, a desire is somthing from within it isnt something i have to carry around and show it to someone like a membership card, but for me the desire was to stop the insanity and blackouts. its odd ive been sober for over 10years and last nite i had a drinking dream and it came out of nowhere i have been doing THE program as i always have, but it was one of those dreams where i woke up in my dream and seen the destruction my drinking had done and the total remorse and guilt of relapse , but thank God it was a dream and i can be more gratefull today and try to share my ESH with someone today, i think the dream came from my job i work parttime at a detox center and last nite a couple came in and they reminded me of myself in alot of ways so that could be it.