Member: Don N
Location: North Iowa
Date: 2/10/2002
Time: 8:07:05 PM
Don here. alcoholic.
This is a daily step for me. I try to make my amends as soon as possible after I open my mouth or do somthing to others when I shouldnt. I wonder somtime if I will ever learn. Maybe its best that I'm not a fast learner. I'm brain dead this evening so I havnt much on this step. Need to listen.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:21:37 AM
I'm Bob and an alcoholic. Ya, me too Don. I make goofs and mistakes often enough to keep this step busy and me alert. Seems to happen most often when I'm letting fear and insecurity run me. It's not a very conscious state and condition because it's often covered by a low amperage of discontent and rightousness, my form of anger and resentment. Seems that the "imposing my will" on another comes at these times and I make amends, usually within 24 hours so everybody involved knows exactly what the amend is about. It's fresh. I consider the things I do that make the amend necessary as an advisory of my condition, so it's a gift of sorts. The fact is I am imperfect and have liabilities and sometimes those affect others. I'd rather know than not, and that's what not having alcohol in me is about...I can notice now. Thanks for the ear. Bob
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 12:48:31 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I believe that step 11 is the daily spiritual program of AA. There are many days that I do not hurt anybody. However, I am not perfect and the days I slip out of the spiritual I am back in insanity.
Step 10 is there to get me out of insanity and back to spirituality. The step 10 instructions given in the Big Book are to do steps 4 to 9 again. These are the steps designed to get me out of insanity. They work.
Peace and Serenity
Member: appy
Location: mountains
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 4:43:21 AM
i could,nt agree more w/chuck.you had me a bit confused w/ 11 then 10,but i put it together and found another true friend in the beautiful fellowship of a.a. . for 10 years i thoght step 10 was a bed time thing.read the book at b.b. mtgs. etc. but NEVER got the real deal on 10 til someone showed me.two other things:i had at last followed 1 thru 9 as laid out and second i was open to see it. i am grateful to god for inspiring bill to word this in the manner and order he did,as i am awake most of the day,unfortunately on most of them i must have contact with people,so odds are good i,ll be using this great step daily.
Member: Donnie M (D.O.S. 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va.
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 3:28:08 PM
Hi all Donnie here and I love this step cause it allows us to keep a little of our old thinking, what I mean by this we can tell someone to go screw themselves and go back later and make our amends. I know it is not the best way to look at it, but we have to be able to release anger somehow. Thanks for listening and God bless all.
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 3:44:58 PM
Kim here - alcoholic.
Before I got sober I found it extremely difficult to say I was sorry to anyone. Actually, I wasn't able to really look at or understand my behaviors and if I did something wrong - oh well - that's life.
Today I can apologize when necessary. I have the tools to look at my motives in certain situations and decide if I am being dishonest or self-seeking and if I am - make corrections.
Step Ten assures me that if I am honest about my motives and actions, then those character defects that led me to a drink will not regain a foothold in my personality and I can maintain a certain amount of serenity in my life.
Thanks of listening.
Member: eminem
Location:
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 4:16:04 PM
FUCK YOU ALL
OPPPS 10 th STEP TIME I,m SORRY
Member: eminem
Location: shady lane
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 4:16:22 PM
FUCK YOU ALL
OPPPS 10 th STEP TIME I,m SORRY
Member: eminem
Location: shady lane
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 4:16:30 PM
FUCK YOU ALL
OPPPS 10 th STEP TIME I,m SORRY
Member: Andre L.
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 5:39:34 PM
Even after 11 yrs of sobriety, I keep having anger bouts and resentments. This step tell me that it is a spriritual anxiom that when it hurts there is something wrong with me. Even if I have been honest with self righteous folks and they are or at least seem to me, that they were entirely at fault, I must not get angry or bare resentment. This is a hard step to follow and I can't make amends to someone else who is at fault in a disagreement with me. Then Bill W. continues by saying that other people also are emotional ill and are not necessarily alcoholics. But never an alcoholic should become angry. Anger is left to more emotionally balance folks. I must develop the virtue of self restraint. Think think think. I must keep on working the steps and 10 is most important. thanks to all that share. It does me good reading you guys. AA is worth it. It is an excellent program of living. Andre
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 2/11/2002
Time: 8:23:28 PM
Adam, alcoholic.
I've shared this before, but it still is how I have been continuing to take my own inventory in sobriety. I heard a speaker from NYC say something about his attitude before AA was "Where's mine?" "Why me?" and "F--k you!" So was mine, but what is curious to me is that even when I am not drinking it is really easy for me to slip into one (or all) of those mindsets when I am disconnected from God and AA. So when I do my tenth step, I look for where I reacted to life's situations with "Where's mine?" "Why me?" or "F--k you!" and if someone was harmed by that, including myself, I make amends. Ins the same vein, it is also really important that I keep track of where in the day I behaved in the opposite of those three mindsets...when did I practice gratitude, acceptance and courtesy? I also need to have those things as part of my inventory.
Grateful to be sober and alive today.
Member: Patrick
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 12:42:49 AM
The praticeing of all the steps should minimize the need for amends.We dont hurt people because we think things will be o.k. if we say were sorry? We did that when we were drinking."Every day is a day when we must carry the vision of Gods will into all of our activities."Pg.85 Bigbook.I have found that the practiceing of only one step at a time does'nt bring about"the much desired result"."practice THESE principles in ALL our affairs."
Member: dick jonhson
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 8:49:09 AM
IF I<D OF KNOWN I COULD HAVE AN AFFAIR I a.a., I, D OF COME IN SOONER
Member: peewee
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 8:55:24 AM
THANKS FOR SHAREING DICK. I was wondering where you were.
Member: dick jonhson
Location:
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 11:18:12 AM
IF I<D OF KNOWN I COULD HAVE AN AFFAIR I a.a., I, D OF COME IN SOONER
Member: Bill H.
Location: Orland Park, IL
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 4:17:50 PM
Bill H -- alcoholic -- I was taught when I came in by my original sponsor that step 10 was the constant reworking of steps 3 - 9 as some of our earlier participants pointed out. When I got sober I didn't have any kids, just my wife and I and I was able to devote a lot of time to the steps. I've got 2 teenage girls now and when I most need the steps I find less and less time to devote to them. I'm glad I found this discussion so I can try to commit to a thorough inventory and amends where needed. God bless you all. Bill H. Orland Park, IL
Member: davidh
Location: Nashville
Date: 2/12/2002
Time: 8:08:08 PM
A lot of days go by that I dont hurt anybody but there are times when i could have done more for others or my spiritual program. I have to keep growing as well.
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 12:01:20 AM
"This thought brings us to Step Ten, .....We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for a lifetime. Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear, When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone. Then we resolutely turn our thoughts to someone we can help. Love and tolerance of others is our code." --Alcoholics Anonymous, pg. 84.
Try as I might I can find nothing ambiguous about the directions in the Big Book for taking Step Ten. It is as plain as the nose on my face, or, even on the face of W. C. Fields.
Member: MW
Location: Germany
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 9:24:36 AM
My name is Matt and I am an alcoholic. This step is the one which reminds me that I have to keep growing in this program. Through doing an daily inventory at night I see that I am not perfect and that I will never be. Although it is some effort involved in doing Step 10 on a daily basis it is worth doing for me.
Thanks for letting me share!
Member: Melissa
Location: Canada
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 12:01:09 PM
I needed a reminder and got it here. "Continued to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them...we make amends."
I'm watching for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment and fear, all right. And then I am using my own resources to remove them (or trying to). Sheer force of will. It didn't work at all on my active alcholism and it's taking up too much energy now.
Thanks, Les. Grateful to be sober and be able to listen today. Melissa, an alcoholic.
Member: jennygb
Location: bksfldca
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 3:33:42 PM
what a good thing to stumble across this site. i have been out of sorts &--what do you know?--not taking my daily moral inventory. i get out of it what i put in...& i've been putting in very little. thanks for the reminders, especially the reminders that "if it hurts, there's something wrong with me," the 3 things i used to say and the statement that "if i'm not in spirituality, i'm in insanity." that's been the case for me. i haven't been drinking, but i've been thinking...about me, me, me. so thank you again.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 2/13/2002
Time: 10:06:58 PM
Hi! My name is Michael and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers!
This Step has been a struggle for me, becuase I had little experience with the requirements of this Step prior to enetering AA.
Fortunately, I have made slow but steady progress here, and my apologies are more sincere today than they were when I was drinking.
Member: Liz S.
Location: massachusetts
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 7:03:41 AM
hi all, i'm liz, alchoholic, and new to this site. step ten is wonderful when i practice it which i try to do however, doesn't matter how long i stay sober i'll never rise above human being which means i will, on occasion, experience anger, resentment, impatience and the desire to control what i cannot change. it doesn't mean i'm bad, just human, and the Steps remind me, especially 10, to give myself a spot check so that my shit doesn't hit your fan. have a happy 24 everyone!
Member: Ronnie B.
Location: Florida
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 10:41:04 AM
Step 10 has helped me to admit when I was wrong, which has always been hard for me to do. One thing I try to remember is, to "think before I act or react and especially before I speak". I do Step 10 throughout my day and if I have said something to someone or done something to those around me, I say I'm sorry and I mean it from the bottom of my heart. Not like when I was drinking - I would say I'm sorry and not mean it or I would repeat the same old behavior and expect people to believe me. Also for me I have found that action speaks louder then words, so sometimes I have to show people that I mean what I say. Thanks for being here. I'm very grateful to be sober today and to have God in my life also.
Member: Ian R
Location: philadelphia
Date: 2/14/2002
Time: 10:55:12 PM
ian-alcoholic. im no where near the 10th step, in fact im 5 days back from a relapse. But i feel i need to share because I dont see these few days lasting much longer. im in pain, im sick of relapsing and i see it happening again real soon. the only people i know are drinkers and druggies and im lonely. i need someone's wisdom to point me in the right direction. i need some help
Member: Shianne
Location: usa
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 1:06:53 AM
Ian, I couldn't stay sober on my own. I sought AA meetings in person, not on the Internet, and there I got the help I needed and still receiving help.
glad y'll are here!
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 2:50:26 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Step 10 for me contains one of our strongest action words in our 12 step program. The very first word continued. We continue on a daily basis to keep the focus on ourselves. We try to live as our anniversary coins state: To thy ownself be true. When we are at step 10, we should have put to rest our past, and should now be living in the today. We no longer have to live in our past, however we must never forget it, because if I ever forget my past, I am doomed to repeat it. Also another of our sayings apply to this step for myself, and that is live and let live. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Sonny
Location: Peekskill
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 3:21:50 PM
Step 10 is my all time favorite step for a number of reasons. 1: it shows me and others that i have made progress. 2:it allows me to continue to grow in my relations w/myself and others. 3:it allows me to continue to keep my house clean,making another 4th step unnecessary(ONE WAS MORE THAN ENOUGH) 4: it has brought me to the point where I do not have to worry about drinking or not drinking as I have RECOVERED from the disease of alcoholism! I LOVE THE PROGRAM(!@ STEPS) OF A.A. AS THEY HAVE BROUGHT ME INTO A WAY OF LIVING THAT BECOMES MORE JOYOUS EACH DAY. (12 STEPS) typo sorry
Though the fellowship and the program have split,it is im my belief that it is the only place you have a chance(though only a small one) of hearing about,and finding a guide through the 12 steps.
Member: Joan W
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 2/15/2002
Time: 9:56:25 PM
Hi, Joan, alcoholic here. I, too, love the 10th step. It is the thing that keeps me humble. By doing a daily inventory, I am continually reminded that I am not cured of my character defects. While much better than when I got here, I have to admit that every defect that I came in with is still around. If I did not take inventory, I might be able to convince myself that I no longer need the program, that after 15 1/2 years of AA I am able to go it alone. I am grateful for the daily reminder that I have lots to learn, that I need your help to continue growing and only by staying spiritually fit and close to my higher power do I have real sobriety.
Member: sonny
Location: peekskill
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 9:45:51 AM
dear joan in la,please excuse this lazy typing but i so i.d. with you i had to post.that the 12 steps bring you to the road of happy destiny through 1 to 9,then give you the ability to A) keep your side of the road free of debri (10)B) keep you connected and growing in your relationship with GOD (11) C) shows us that though as you stated,all the CDs` i came in with are still with me,i have had enough of a personality change to (1)RECOVER (2)CARE ENOUGH TO TRY TO HELP(3)SEE I NOW HAVE SOMETHING TO GIVE(4)A DESIGN TO LIVE IN THIS CRAZY WORLD(step 12) Thank you Joan for stirring up some good vibrations.
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, South Texas
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 4:49:48 PM
WOW! Like many others, I love this progran and these steps. I'm a real alcoholic and a fallible human being, neither of which I can change. My name is Curtis, but that can be changed. The "motive" step for me is to constantly check my motives and honestly, most of the time they are somewhat selfish. However, the improvement over the past sixteen years has been tremendous. I can't seem to separate 10 and 11, because I MUST constantly seek Gods will for me if I'm going to stay out of self. But, that isn't humanly possible, so I strive for the spiritual progress. The promptly time has shortened a lot since I really started practicing the inventories mentioned on page 89 of the 12 and 12. Les made a good point with the tenth step directions in the big book, but for me, it was not until I got heavily involved in the 12 and 12 that I started uncovering my hidden agendas (or base motives). Thy will not mine. I need to remember that one thousand times per day. Thanks for all of your wonderful sharing. curtis093040@selectrec.net
Member: Anonymous Alcoholic
Location:
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 6:13:32 PM
I really need to do the 10th step, but I have a hard time 'forcing' myself to do it daily. Thanks.
Member: kimberley
Location: washington
Date: 2/16/2002
Time: 10:22:06 PM
thanks to all of you for the reminder. ian you must change your playground, aa is a fellowship there you will find real friends who care deeply, congrats on ypu days, have you ever heard what SLIP stands for. it stands for something lousy i planned, also sobriety looses its priority, i love step ten it allows me to be human and to make mstakes gracefully, and to learn to aploigize and to truly mean it.
Member: Michele M.
Location: scranton
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 12:49:11 AM
Hi everyone, Michele, alcoholic here. I always like to think of step 10 as a window of opportunity to watch for my resentment, fear, dishonesty, and selfishness. Practicing the 11th step before retiring gives me the chance to review my day to see where I've missed that window. Thanks to all for being here and God bless!!! Peace&love