Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake city
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 1:35:55 PM

Comments

In my case, "entirely ready" was true for that moment and time. I was as ready as I knew how to be (as in progress not perfection) then and apparently it worked. As time has passed I've become "more ready" to have my character defects removed according to the skills I've developed to deal with my life without those defenses or defects or habits or whatever you want to call them. I think the factor that influences this step the most is my level of "trust in G~d". Trusting that I will be taken care of despite "not knowing" how to proceed and what lies ahead. It's the step that seems to write "faith without works is dead" in my view. I did this along with Step 7 the first time, within an hour of completing my first 5th with my sponsor. Thanks for letting me share. Bob


Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 1/6/2002
Time: 5:09:57 PM

Comments

Adam, alcoholic.

This step for me, is the one where I actually make the decision of whether I am going to keep on living life as I always have knowing what I now know about myself from my 4th and 5th step, or am I going to start living in the solution. I think the important thing here is, once again, willingness because God will do the removing only to thextent that I am willing to cooperate with his will for me...in other words, am I willing to start livingin the opposite of my cahracter defects so that God can remove them?

I think it takes a lot of willingness to be entirely ready to have anything removed from me that I was used to living with all my life...like rage, in my case. I really liked rage because it mae me feel powerful when I was most afraid...still it destroyed a lot of relationships. It was only when I could see, through my 5th step, that there was virtue in restraint of tongue and pen that I became willing to practice it so that God could remove that rage from me. The result...I'm discovering that gradually, I am much more levelheaded in my dealings with othes. Dishonesty is another good example...liked lying a lot 'cuz it often got me what I wanted, but my soul rotted as a result and I felt unworthy all the time. Was I entirely willing to start telling the truth in all my affairs and stand by that truth cost what it may? Well, when I saw that I could live more comfortably inside my body sober doing so, then I became willing to do so and have dishonesty removed. The result...I'm gradually becoming and honest man.

Love this step...grateful to be sober.


Member: joe k.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 12:17:30 AM

Comments

After having looked at my 4th and 5th step in such horrid detail, who WOULDN'T be ready to have them removed? That was my thought, anyway, when I sat with my sponsor in the light of the 6th and 7th step. There have been many changes in my attitudes, my beliefs, my ideas, and my actions. I can claim no honor for this, because, quite frankly, they changed when I wasn't looking.

Being "entirely ready" is an argumentative phrase among many alcoholics I know. So, since I have not been able to find much of a consensus on what that means, I let God be the one to determine the purity of my readiness. Meanwhile, while I am fretting over a "defect of character" that I have determined is NOT useful to God or my fellows, another one has stealthily slipped away. And, DAMNED IT, I didn't even think it was a "defect!" Oh well, who knows best?

God bless you all on your journey.

joe k. chillbmp@totalzone.com


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 11:54:34 AM

Comments

Hi Lessa E here, grateful recovering alcoholic. What a timely step for me, as I'm on these now for a defect.

The 'entirely ready' thing can hang me up. I mean, I THINK I'm entirely ready. Yet, I find myself hanging onto a few of the defects. The old, "THIS I will not let go" it talks about in the 12&12. My sponsor told me part of the 'entirely ready' part is to have alternative behavior ready to replace the defect, which I've been into for years and years and years. Kind of like drinking - I had to find other uses for the time I wasted drinking. I'm now to find other forms of behavior to put in place of my character defects. She suggested I list the defect and write a little bit about the opposite type of behavior. Read and re-read what I've written. And, start introducing the opposite behavior into my daily life until, like the other tools AA has given me to work with, it becomes part of my daily life.

Gradually, I'm finding it working. Just a little bit at a time....

Thanks for letting me share....


Member: Bettybee
Location: Ohio
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 1:06:18 PM

Comments

In the beginning, this being ready business was relatively easy -- in looking back. Just like the 12 & 12 says, the defective living habits and attitudes that others can see aren't too hard to let go of. We do want to be liked, you know.

As the journey lengthens, seems those settled-in, rooted concepts and expectations of myself, others, life and HP rear their ugly heads -- come out sideways -- grab my belly -- and demand attention (or a drink). These old "survival techniques", if you will.

Entirely ready? There is comfort (or security, I should say) in the old way. It may be miserable, but the outcome isn't a surprise.

Yes, when I'm in THAT place again (how many times have I said, "I know this place and I don't like it. How did I get here?), I'm faced with Step 6. The alternative, truly, is to drink.

So far, I've been willing to go to any length to stay sober, and trudge the road to happy destiny. The alternative is a dark place that goes nowhere.


Member: Harold A.
Location: Narragansett, R.I.
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 8:14:20 PM

Comments

Here's a defect that's on my plate right now: Not leaving myself enough time to move through my day serenely. Found myself rushing today, for instance, from place to place (good places all) and left feeling hollow and frustrated. Take it, God, please.


Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach
Date: 1/7/2002
Time: 8:45:26 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an Alcoholic,

When I came to the program, I had NO defects. All my behaviors were the "justified" kind that are "supposed to be" enacted in exactly those ways whenever wronged by any others - (or 'something is wrong with you' if you don't)

It took me time to clear up & start catching on before allowed to do my 1st Step 4. Then I was depressed & devastated to discover I was filled with Character Defects! ugh! Me?!!

So I was MORE than "entirely ready" to have God remove all them Defects (ugh! take them ALL! yuk! I don't want to be a person like THAT!!!)

but within a short time I realized I was still identifying with having those same Defects of Character at Discussion Topic meetings on them . . . just acting them out in a different way so I wouldn't know I still have them! I was depressed again - worried this program doesn't work for me!

But my sponsor had me read Step 6 in the 12&12 again with her - explaining Progress not Perfection - a journey of growing one day at a time toward that Ideal of Perfection.

Then I could see that had been my Defect of Perfectionism in operation - I wanted to be "entirely defect-free" from the moment I had discovered that I do have Character Defects - as if I would become non-human or 'super-human' or something by doing Steps 6 & 7.

Years later when returned from a relapse, when I got to Step 6 - I had certain defects I did NOT readily want to let go of. Yes -the outer ones that made me "objectionable" to others - but those secret ones that no one knew about - I "NEEDED" . . . how would I get by if I gave those up?!

My sponsor told me if I feel I have to hang on to any, then I'm not on Step 6 anyway - I haven't even gotten Step 3: "Half measures availed us nothing" - Either I've turned my life & my will over to the care of God as I understand Him - or I haven't. It can't be "half measures" of turning over what I choose but I'll take care of the really important parts that I don't think He can do as good a job with as I can.

Thru that I became WILLING . . . entirely ready. (& anything that God has removed that I Willingly asked Him to in Step 7 - He replaced with things FAR better in their place! :) Thank you for letting me share. Pam


Member: John H.
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 10:30:44 AM

Comments

Hello from John, an alcoholic. Was certainly ready for a change, but wanted others to change along with me That doesn't work. It requires me to change my attitude and to work on me, "my side of the street". When others witness my changes, then their attitudes are more likely to change. After 15 years of continious sobriety, I daily have to monitor my actions and reactions to grow. It's an ongoing process, one of betterment.Patience, patience. Hardly likely to remove all defects. We're not perfect. Just stay cyber (sober) and life will get better for you and others around you.


Member: Laura L.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 1:14:50 PM

Comments

This is the first time that I have checked out this site. I love it. I am in a low-point in my sobriety where I know I am not contributing to my program the way I know I should. Ultimately, my character defects of the past are creeping back into my life/behaviors. I do keep praying for that push that I need to get active again. It's nice to read all of your entries.


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 1/8/2002
Time: 4:22:07 PM

Comments

I am an alcoholic.I Was ready for a change, but wanted others to change along with me That doesn't work. It requires me to change my attitude and to work on me, When others witness my changes, then their attitudes are more likely to change. After 5 years of continious sobriety, I daily have to monitor my actions and reactions to grow. It's an ongoing process, one of betterment.practicing spirituality Hardly likely to remove all defects but ongoing daily practice to carry no resentments taking day at a time keeping an open mind carrying no anger hatred will help and I pray daily to ahve God give me the strenght to follow.. We're not perfect. Just stay (sober) and life will get better for you and others around you.thanks to aa and al anon.


Member: Rolling with the flow!
Location: Around
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 3:41:50 PM

Comments

I have enough sober time to add that wanting others to change isn't always wrong as some say it is! But they either cannot or will not change even when they are dead wrong! We read in the Big Book that "the world and its people are often quite wrong..." and so I have found it to be! So if you know in your heart that you are growing along spiritual lines and improving yourself, then it is most important not to fall back into the bad psychological trends other people you know or see are living by! You have to learn as best you can how to live with these reactionary people! It sometimes brings you to the point of being furious, but you have got to find a way not to give in to them! There is nothing selfish about caring for yourself and seeking to improve, when there is nothing you can do for some others! That is their lot in life, I or you are not responsible for them!!


Member: Connie S.
Location: Riverside, N.J.
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 4:51:17 PM

Comments

I', an alcoholic and my name is Connie.

The key word for me is "entirely". I have to remember not to have any hidden agendas, motives etc... These were the character aspects that made who I was for sooooo many years. They are safe, warm, comfortable. I also used to think they were totally neccessary to live life. Through this program, I have learned how to live without alot of them. The others, I need to daily ask for there removal during that day. Sometimes I feel totally naked. Definitly a strange an unfamiliar way of living. Sometimes I realized in retrospect that I don't have a desire to use them anymore, but knowing the defects are there is comfortable. So being entirely ready commits me to an honesty to myself that is new. Thank God its progress, not perfection Thanks.


Member: Peggy D
Location: Philadelphia PA
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 4:56:13 PM

Comments

First Time visitor I posted to the other comment section. It looks like this might be the AA meeting that I said was out of the question. I want to stop drinking and I don't I think I could use some help. I don't have any I hit the bottom story and I don't really want one. I just drink 3 or so gin and tonics everyday and sometimes more on the weekend. I my mind I really don't want to but I do. Makes no sense to me. Think maybe I have a problem??


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 1/9/2002
Time: 6:54:43 PM

Comments

(((Peggy D))) Actually the correct place for your questions is at the Coffee Pot. The Discussion and 12 & 12 parts of this site are dedicated to posts on the topic at the head of the page. The coffee pot is posted to quite often. And specific questions not addressed at the top of these two 'meeting' pages are answered fairly quickly. (But DO remember this is NOT a chat room. There ARE AA chat rooms if you need a response immediately.)

Anyway, do YOU think you have a problem? What the Big Book tells us if we have doubts, go out and try to control your drinking. Try NOT to drink for a few weeks, and then months. See, most normal people don't worry if they're drinking too much.

I guarantee if you post what you did on the Discussion site (cut and paste) you'll get a TON of responses on the Coffee Pot.

Good luck to you. And, feel free to write me if you like.

lessa_e@hotmail.com


Member: Tim j
Location: Phx  Az
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 9:35:16 AM

Comments

Hi Family Tim j.alcoholic like your website mycomment to defects once i stoped trying to get well things just fell into place alot of that, was accepting people places and thin,s just as they were . Since i stoped playen god i acually have friends today Living the steps is the key for me and TRYING to practice these princibles in all my affairs progress not perfection , peace , oakland1963@aol.com


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 11:35:26 AM

Comments

I remember the first time I really internalized the 6th step. Even though I had a profound experience after doing the 5th, I had no idea what being „entirely readyš meant. I did what my sponsor suggested, and I had no insights, but I was entirely ready to do whatever it took to not drink again.

One day, a short time later, I was on the train, watching pedestrians, when I suddenly became aware of that little voice in my head chattering away, evaluating this person, criticizing that one. My character defect became blatantly evident. I could see how it was holding me back from loving others and myself. I became entirely ready and humbly asked for its removal. There was a moment of awakening, the voice was silent and a great joy came into me. Today my character defects still come back regularly, sometimes I will believe them and fight until I become exhausted enough to seek God again.

It‚s a simple program, but it ain‚t easy.


Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 1/10/2002
Time: 9:28:10 PM

Comments

Hello all, Jim here. I am a grateful recovering alcoholic--sober since 7-15-00.

The sixth step was a very crucial step in my recovery process. After steps 4 and 5, I had to make many modifications in my behavior. I had to make a conscious effort to change my actions and reactions toward life. Step 6 was truly the beginning of a very real and miraculous change in the person I was.

Step 1 was not a terrible hurtle, for I knew that I was powerless over alcohol and other drugs and that my life was completely unmanageable. I also knew that of my own volition, I could not make anything the least bit better--all my efforts had failed. Then I made a decision, wrote an inventory, and shared it with my sponsor. These were vital steps in the foundation of my recovery, but still no deliberate change on my part. Working step six allowed me to not act out my thoughts, to make an effort to behave differently, and to show God that I was "ready to have God remove all these defects of character".

Many people may disagree with my view, but for me to feel right asking God to remove my shortcomings, I first had to show willingness to do what I could do.

Thank you for allowing me to share and thank you for my sobriety.


Member: Matthew N
Location: Syracuse
Date: 1/11/2002
Time: 10:00:04 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, I have not yet took the sixth step but have attended a sixth step meeting and recieved a better understanding. I know that if I complete all of the previous steps that I will be entirely ready When and if I get there. In the sixth step we become ready and in the seventh step we have them removed.Which doesn't mean I don't have them anymore but I do have to acknowledge them.


Member: Matthew Y.
Location: NY
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 1:15:14 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Matthew an alcoholic, My spin on turning my will over to God and being entirely willing to have God remove my defects involves waht is called "grace." God can do anything God wants, grace is the tool (s)offered to us to work with God. If I just sit around waiting for God to do everything for me... I'll continue to be an irresponsible alcoholic. I believe that God aonly wants good things for us if we are willing to work with God to make good things happen. We can't sit around and wait miracles and we can't do it alone... tha's why we need this fellowship! Thanks for this site. Peace.


Member: Linda G.
Location: Tulsa, OK
Date: 1/12/2002
Time: 10:35:31 PM

Comments

Hi, Im Linda and I'm an alcoholic/addict. Recently back from relapse after ten years of sobriety in AA, I realize I was never really entirely ready to give up my pride and arrogance. So I quit going to meetings because "you egomaniacs were driving me nuts." HA! Now, I am humiliated by the beating I took with alcohol. It does progress while you're sober. So glad the door is still open and you all are still there with open arms.