Member: bob r
Location: raainbow city
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 08:55 AM

Comments

I have been through manny detoxs and programs recentlly I turned myself into cps and was court ordered to go for a evaluation well here I ggo again biieng multiply addicted Ihave ahard time staying away from this or that so I still have only 1 day sober


Member: janet L
Location: Costa Rica
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 09:12 AM

Comments

Hi Janet here in Costa Rica, I'm on day four after about 12 years of in and out trying. The professional help I usually got was just for a 3 day de-tox, as insurance did not continue to pay for those 30 day programs. I must have done the 3 day de-tox um, let's see, over the years---well over a dozen times. And for the majority, I drank within 3 days of leaving. Why????? No AA. Once I drove drunk all the way to a ritzy place outside of baltimore, arrive drunk, stayed 3 days (between Christmas and NewYears) and bought a bottle of wine on the drive home. So if that's the professional help you refer to, it did not work for me. Now once I did join a group of professional men and women, mostly lawyers and drs., and a wonderful therapist who specialized in alcoholism, and stayed sober for a long time with that group, but gotta say without the AA component, nothing worked. When I finally tried AA I had my longest sobriety ( about 8 months) and I hated those meetings. I would force myself to go, but you know I felt better when I left. All the love in the rooms. So for this old gal on day 4 the "professionals" are in the rooms of AA. Love to you all, Janet


Member: LukeK
Location: Massachusetts
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 09:23 AM

Comments

Luke here, alcoholic from Massachusetts. Today marks 20 days sober for me. As for professional help, I talked to my previous doctor about my problem. He prescribed Xanax to take at night instead of alcohol. It helped some (I no longer take it) but didn't get at the root causes of my alcoholism. Friday night was really hard for me. Many people at my house, all drinking, some getting really buzzed. At times I looked like the only bore there. I just can't get as animated without drinking. As the night wore on though, I got a new feeling, an empowering one, as I remained in control, others felt sick, said stupid things and were destined for hangovers. I almost had the feeling like I had done my share of being the comic relief in the past and now it was others' turn to be the fools.


Member: Jock M
Location: Vermont
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 12:15 PM

Comments

My name is Jock and I'm an alcoholic. I tried a lot of outside professional help before AA as well and nothing worked. Ofcourse, I really didn't know what the problem was, so how could it work. When I came to AA I came with a lot of willingness - and I still don't know where that came from, it was so unlike me. But it allowed me, at my very first meeting, to make the decision to do whatever they tell me to do - with out my usual arguing and debating. So I got a sponcer and started working the steps. I remember when I was working on step 4, I suddenly realised I hadn't had a drink in 35 days! I hadn't even thought about it - that was a miracle! I know that if I had tried to do the program "my way" I wouldn't have lasted more than a few days. I have a lot of days of sobriety now, and I know that's because I have a sponcer and continue to work and apply these steps to the best of my ability. As the BB tells me, Just going to meetings will not keep me sober. The life I have now is so much better than my drinking life, I can't imagine ever going back. These days I do seek outside professional help from time to time, and now that I know what my problem is, it does help. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 12:51 PM

Comments

lessa E here, very grateful recovering alcoholic. I went and got professional help several times. It didn't work....because I didn't want it to. When the pros got a little too close to the truth for this alkie, I'd back out, scornfully proclaiming what a failure this psychiatrist or that doctor or that pastor was. It wasn't until I was court-ordered to seek professional help that included AA as a result of a DUI that I had no choice...I *HAD* to get help or I'd end up in jail. It was left to me whether I wanted to accept that professional help or not. I truly feel professionals can help.....just like AA. The thing we need to realize is *WE* have to be willing to accept the help they offer. I had a very, very good outpatient program and sometimes think I was lucky that I HAD to go. I see others who have come into the program voluntarily struggle with issues I was forced to face while in treatment. I can also see that had I not wanted to accept the help that was offered, as long as I HAD to take it, I could've not let it sink in. More folks who came into treatment failed to stay sober, failed to maintain their sobriety than 'got it'. Same thing with AA. Long winded way for this drunk to say, I guess, that professional help can work....if we want it to. thanks for letting me share. lessa_e@hotmail.com


Member: Cheryl
Location: California
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 01:22 PM

Comments

Cheryl here alcoholic. I hate this disease. I drink once a week to the point of being drunk. My mind says I'm okay cause I don't drink everyday, but when I do, I do. I've been throwing up all morning, I know it will pass but I wish I could remember this feeling forever, maybe I wouldn't pick up a drink. I love this site and will get back to meetings. I know If I don't pick up the first drink I can't get drunk. You guys prove that to me when I read your posts. Thanks for being here.


Member: Cindi P.
Location: Chippewa Falls
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 03:59 PM

Comments

My name is Cindi and I am an alcoholic. I went to an outpatient program and learned a lot about is alcoholism. AA meetings and sponsorhip was part of the requirement of completing treatment. AA taught me to use the steps on my alcoholism. I have other problems that need professional therapy and treatment. That will not replace AA in my life.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 04:05 PM

Comments

Hi Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. I tried treatment at one point. Left the treatment center and drank another five years. Was it the treatment center? Except for one incident, I would say no. Treatment centers provide a much needed service. I had a daughter that got sober in Church. I hold nothing against these agencies as such. The problem I have with these services is when one tries to mix these outside concepts with the program of Alcoholic Anonymous. The key reason that the "group therapy" setting does not work in A.A. is because most group therapy sessions are headed up by a licensed professional to keep it on track. Not so in A.A. A few of the many things that A.A. does not do is practice medicine, physchiatry, or nursing. A.A. does not offer religious services and does not engage in professional counseling. Some individual members may be involved in some of these activities on a personal basis, but not as a part of their membership in A.A. Many who come into A.A. may have developed serious conditions as a result of drinking alcoholically. Some go into severe clinical depression. I would highly suggest a physical by a licensed physician for incoming new members who have a long history of heavy drinking. I have heard in some of these rooms that if someone is taking mind altering prescribed drugs, they have been told they cannot be sober. These issues do not belong in A.A. I have seen patients who have gone off their meds because they were told they could not be sober while taking them. Some have almost died. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill. email me at az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Kate M.
Location: CA
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 07:52 PM

Comments

Where's the link to last weeks meeting? Thanks.


Member: FC
Location: ONE SICK PUP!!
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 09:52 PM

Comments

Hey there, Well this could'nt be a better topic for me. Went to AA three months ago. Got a sponcer from day one, went to about 12 meetings a week, Working the steps and had a commiment at every meeting. 100% I try to give. And I'm on my face once again, lost the sponcer the commitments and probaly the trust in other AA members. 90 days of giving my all and I could only make 20 days at my longest. I really don't know what the hell is wrong with me, other than I can't seem to stay away from the first drink. Once I take that first sip, everything is just a gonner. Other members of AA told me I should consider rehab. But, I really don't know how to start that or what it evolves. When I went to AA, I was a very sick pup, still am. This disease is killing me, and I have died lots of times to this, but I keep waking up. Still trying to save my life but it seems I keep going back to my ruler of hell. I know I'm powerless over alchohal, and not to go there, but I keep knocking on hells gates. Any suggestions for this sick pup!! Still willing to go to any lengths but can't seem to get there.


Member: Terry H
Location: CT
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 09:56 PM

Comments

Hi, Terry here and I'm an alcoholic. I cannot add much input to the topic because I have never had any professional help. I have been to a few AA meetings because I had to due to a DWI. My attitude was "I'm not an alcoholic and don't need to be here". I even said that in the meeting. That was about 4 years ago and I'm still drinking. I guess I was wrong. I have finally figured out that I cannot stop by myself. I have read the comments on this site in the past, but never added my own. I'm ready to stop drinking now and just need the help to do it. Right now, I'm just focusing on not drinking during the week and not when the kids are around. My 15 year old son seems to be going down the same path that I went down and I've got to try to set some type of example for him. If I can not drink during the week and when the kids are around, that will not leave much time to drink :) I'm going to keep reading these comments and focus on doing it one day at a time. BTW, where can I get a new edition of the BB? I've read most of an older version, but thought there might be something more recent out there. I need to get my hands on that book again. Thanks for reading and good luck.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: December 29, 2002
Time: 11:44 PM

Comments

Terry old or new editions It matters not. The program of Alcoholics as written in the first 164 pages of the BB in 1939 have never been changed. Look up Alcoholics Anonymous in the white or yellow pages of your phone book and call them for info on literature... Bill Email: az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: chris g
Location: S. Yarmouth, Mass
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 12:02 AM

Comments

hi everyone, A yr. ago this time i was suicidal ( had one attempt) was psychiatrically hospitalized several times and bouncing around the program for the past 12 yrs. During the past year in which I surrenedered and became willing to take suggestions I know longer am on anti-depressants(while under the care of a pyschiatrist) my moode stablizing drug has been re-duced to the lowest dosage and I attribute all this to GOD and A.A..I celebrate my first year of sobriety ever on New Years Eve. I left Boston and my 3 chidren to gain sobriety and learn to live life on life's terms. What started out to be a 3 month program turned into a 1 yr. journey. I leave N.Y. Jan 5 to return to the Cape Cod area. Today I love not just my life but life in general. I pray that everyone has a safe and sober new year. GOD-BLESS


Member: Stacy E
Location: Kentucky, USA
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 01:53 AM

Comments

I really don't have anything to add about the topic this week, I just wanted to thank Kelly for her response to my last post. No, you were not "too harsh," Kelly. I appreciate and respect honesty. As new as I am to AA, I already know how crucial honesty is to recovery. I went to a meeting today and a big book study class. I still don't have a sponsor but I did hang around for a bit and get some phone numbers. AA means swallowing a lot of pride, and asking for help is one of the hardest things in the world for me to do, but I'm learning. I had not attended a meeting in three weeks and I must say that tonight I feel a lot calmer, more serene. I think I'll just go back tomorrow! Thanks for letting me share. Stacy.


Member: Bob A
Location: Maine
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 08:08 AM

Comments

Hi - Stacy raised a point that really hits home with me. It's extremely hard to swallow my pride when it comes to getting help. I know this is stupid but I was raised to be self sufficient and have been so all of my life. My drinking isn't to the point where I've lost everything but I absolutley do have a problem. I went a couple of weeks awhile ago without booze and fell off the wagon without a backwards glance. Maybe I should go to a meeting after all. Well, thanks for reading... I don't want to eat up too much bandwidth.


Member:
Location:
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 08:41 AM

Comments

Opal here, grateful recovering alcoholic. When I did seek professional help I was prescribed Antibuse. That helped cover up the symptoms but did nothing for my alcoholism because I was drunk again in 3 months, worse than before. God led me to AA to save my life and it did, once I surrendered to Him and admitted I was powerless over this disease. Surrender and acceptance is the hardest thing for we alcoholics. Control issues are common among us. The I want it fixed immediately or I can control this problem is a common thread. Don't beat yourself up, the outside world has done that enough. Just keep trying. "Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They will come, sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them." I pray for all who still suffer daily and wish them sobriety. Love to all.


Member: mike H.
Location: michigan
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 10:08 AM

Comments

mike h. alcoholic here. Clean 40 days....aa meetings have helped. Agree w/ Opal, surrender and acceptance were very difficult for me, took me 5 years to understand that, lucky to be alive. Professional help: i had the benefit of a therapist who was very helpful in being a "mirror" for me...but i needed aa to begin a true practice of staying sober.


Member: janet L
Location: Costa Rica
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 10:18 AM

Comments

Hi, Janet here at the Beach in CR. Already posted my position on professional help but have to share one particular bad memory. One therapist told me that I had no relationships but with therapists and the drink. Boy I didn't swallow that news well. I'll show him, I thought---and drank and drank. (you see, what he said had the ring of truth to it) I still think it was a mean thing for him to say, and thank God I have a psych in San Jose who just told be straight out that my life would improve if I stopped drinking. I thank God that he was there, because the drink and problems involving my 21 year old son drove me to suicide attempt in July of this year. Then I really began to WANT to get sober. And I was honest with this psych. I told him I was still drinking off and on. And he kept saying AA, my dear. So finally after what?6 months since then, I have 5 days!!!! And yes, I am proud. And yes, I know I could not do it without AA. I can not hide my disease anymore, nor can I hide from it. New steering committee, Bless you, the outgoing ones saved my life. enough for now. I'm going out to enjoy each minute of day 5! love to you all, you're in my prayers, as I hope I am in yours. Janet in Costa Rica Oh Glen, could you e-mail me about a computer question??? janet123@racsa.co.cr thanks, hon


Member: Kelly M
Location:
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 02:45 PM

Comments

Hi All, Kelly an alcoholic. Good question. For me it is like what came first the chicken or the egg? I still don't know if being hospitalized as an adolescent for depression or black out drinking from age 13 were related. (Probably). My Mom said I never drank normally from day 1. I also have been on anti-depressants for 27 years. For me hospitals helped me get over the crisis and doctors helped with my medication maintenance. I always knew the root problem and that was ME and how I felt about myself. I was intoduced to AA at a young age but never got it. They might as well have been speaking Greek. I just thought I had depression and therefore I drank, but I could function, had a good job and exciting life so it was not alcohol. Man-O-Manichevitz was I wrong!!! My last 2 rehabs in 96 and last October proved that. It took 5 days to detox the last time. The second time around IS worse. I don't think I could have detoxed by myself this last time. I was so sick with daily DT's. As Janet said rehabs are not like they used to be in length and program. Insurance companies have downsized them and I was on a psych ward the last time. It still got me over my DT's and for that I was grateful. They also have great aftercare programs to help with the transition. I could not do it because I could not find anyone to go with me one day a week out of 5. They said I was doomed to fail without a support person but I found that in AA. They called me once a week and eventually said I did not need the program because of my success in AA. I went to a meeting on my first night out of rehab and then did 90 meetings in 90 days and that is what I think saved me. It sounds like a lot of work but when you can not breath then come up for air. AA was a life preserver for this drunk. Rehab can get you to square one and over the shakes and sweats. Psychotherapy has its place for depression etc. and works. Staying sober continuosly requires rigorous honesty/ ((Stacy)) and The Promises/ ((Opal)). Congrats Janet on day 5!!! My son also hurt himself due to my drinking, 2nd degree burns, and my guilt made me drink more. He has been doing fine for a couple years now Thank God. How this disease can hurt the ones that love us... Stacy, way to go on the meetings! Give them a chance and then find your favorites and some AA friends. Everyone have a great Monday..............Kelly


Member: chris g
Location: S. Yarmouth, Mass
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 05:55 PM

Comments

hi everyone, another beautiful day hope all are well. I completed my second program. Although I am not seeing a psychiatrist now I have set up therapy in the Cape Cod area. I fully intend on continuing my recovery program under the guidance of professional asistance. wish all a safe, prosperous, and sober New Year.


Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 06:30 PM

Comments

TERRY, I'd take AzBill's advise, but until you are able to get your hands on a big book, you can read it online. I don't have monkey's notion how to post the link, but if you'll just type Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous in your search engine, I'm positive you'll find it. It's the entire book, cover to cover. Wishing you all much love and peace this next to the last day of 2002. Make it a sober one, please.


Member: Bob P.
Location: midwest
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 07:50 PM

Comments

Hi All, Bob here. DOS 05/12/99. One thing that I think important for newcomers to realize (or at least it was for me when I was a newcomer..) is that this wonderful program can be the lynchpin or core of our sobriety and serenity, but it is nothin to be aahamed of for it not to be the only tool in our box. I have long standing anxiety issues and a severe hearing impairment that makes them even worse and often makes me want to run and isolate and this is one step closer to a drink for me. To deal with these things, I need counseling and meds on top and in addition to being strong in the Program. So, I go and get them. Together, my therapy and my AA are the cornerstones of my sobriety. If I gave up one, I fear the other may crumble and I'll get drunk. I know a lot of Program folks who do the same. There are rafts of good counselors and therapists out there who will work with you around the core of your AA Program to help you achieve an even stronger sobriety and a better life. It is no viurtue to tough it out with just AA because some crusty old timer told you it is all you need. You may need more. Some of us do.. Love and Peace and another sober 24 to all... Bob


Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 08:59 PM

Comments

Kathy K. I'm an alcoholic. FC - you say you don't know what is wrong with you. It's very simple - you have the disease of alcoholism just like the rest of us. AA offers a simple, effective program which if followed, has been shown over and over to assist those earnestly seeing the sober life. As far as rehab is concerned you will be hospitalized for a period of days to sober up (5 in the area where I live) and receive an education about the disease of alcoholism, attend group meetings, probably have an outside AA group come in to put on an AA meeting for you, have a counselor for private talks. Upon discharge you will undoubtedly be encouraged to attend AA meetings on a regular basis. Why not call local hospitals to find out what is available to you? Also some employers offer assistance programs. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing. We've all been there!!


Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: December 30, 2002
Time: 09:13 PM

Comments

Hello, Karen, alcoholic. Regarding treatment, I don't know how much good the actual detox did, but going to treatment convinced me of the seriousness of my problem and put me on the road to sobriety. I have more than nine months sober now. Last March 1 I was drinking alone and got online inebriated, and happend to be talking to a recovering alcoholic. She told me I should go to detox and I did't believe her. I kept drinking, but something about her words convinced me I should call my EAP provider and see if I could get into detox, and I kept drinking. I still have the scrap of paper where I wrote down the name of the man I spoke to at the EAP. It is illegible and written two different ways. That night, after getting approval, I got a treatment facility to send a taxi to get me. When the taxi drive arrived I (by then in a black-out) was so drunk he refused to take me. By then I was locked out of my house, and some kind neighbors got a locksmith and apparently put me to bed, leaving a note. They must have known I wouldn't remember anything in the morning. When I did come to/wake up, still in my clothes from the night before, I called the treatment center and asked if I could still come. It was morning, but the breatholizer said I was still legally drunk after driving there. Needless to say (now), the whole experience shook me up. I'd already been going to AA, but buying wine on the way home. Now I started taking it seriously and I haven't had a drink since. I'll have a year March 2, and I plan on getting there. That is what treatment did for me. I don't think it was the professionals, but the stark reality of what I was becoming/had become. I am grateful for the experience. I needed something to bring me to my senses. I am also greatful that all of you are here for me to share with. I am shy and don't share in f2f meetings much at all. It is easier here, and I have time to think about what I want to say. I enjoy reading your posts, and especially appreciate it when you respond to mine. Thanks.


Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 02:12 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Bob and an alcoholic who has benefited from a 28 day treatment program. It launched me into A.A. and onto this journey 19 years and 11 months ago. Treatment works. check out page 133, 3rd paragraph, in the BB. Just interpret it for yourself, and if you think something there fits for you, then go get the help A.A. has recommended, and that A.A. recognizes they cannot help with. Remember, there are no doctors or other health practitioners in A.A., only alcoholics. A.A. is limited and so are alcoholics, and that's as it should be. Perfectly normal. We can help each other in ways that professionals can't and they can also help us in ways we can't help ourselves. So, when we need it, let's get the help we need from the professionals that know how to give it. And yes, I have been getting that kind of help for over 8 of those sober years. That works too. Hugs, and Happy New Year to us all. Bob


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 02:23 AM

Comments

LOL. Thank you Bob. Been a while since I read that particular passage. Yum Love Chocolate. Bill


Member: bob r
Location: rain bow city
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 07:42 AM

Comments

I H aave faith that fdinally ican be sober ome day at atime


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 10:17 AM

Comments

I spent many dollars on professional help over the years, but I was never honest about my drinking. I was prescribed anti-depressants and tranquilizers, which used with alcohol this allowed me to continue my headlong tumble into alcoholism. I feared doctors, I was afraid they would know about my drugging and drinking. Early on I asked my sponsorsí opinion about telling my GP the truth. He told me, keeping that secret only proved I was not done yet. He was right. My last relapse was the most pitiful, hopeless experience I ever knew. Today the first thing I tell any new doctor is that I am an alcoholic and powerless over all narcotics. I was prescribed anti-depressants my first year, but because I was honest we discovered I had severe sleep apnea and I was weaned off them with my doctors help. I would encourage any newcomer to consult a doctor as a part of your recovery. Be honest and explain what you have discovered about yourself. Doctors can be very helpful. Ignore the half-backed opinions from some AAs who believe they know better than the medical community about what you need today. Opinions can kill here.


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 01:29 PM

Comments

Hi FC, I'm Kelly an alcoholic. I think Kathy is right on a rehab. You sound very sick with this disease. Think of rehab as a fresh start. You have to really want it though. As Karen did make your own detox planning. You have to be ready to take step 1 and mean it. That you are powerless over alcohol and your life has become unmanageable. I also planned my own detox when I was ready to surrender. I had long since taken the last drink I wanted to drink and my last drunk meant nothing to me. I never got a high anymore and alcohol could no longer relieve my pain. I had to surrender and I hope you can too. Take care of yourself and best of luck!.....Kelly


Member: Kim T.
Location: Colorado
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 03:45 PM

Comments

Hi, Kim here. I decided the day after Christmas that I have GOT to stop this binge drinking every other night or so. Although I do it less and in lesser quantities as for some reason I can not put the beers away like I used to, it still has it's destructive ways of keeping me from accomplishing the simplist things in life, like keeping a job, or getting out of bed to find one. I did really good, went 5 days without a beer, then last night I had to give in to the urge for that buzzed euphoric feeling. Anymore though, all it gives me is a headache and causes me to make some seriously poor decisions that leave me in misery! So here I am wanting desperately to quit and it is New Year's Eve...the biggest drink fest of the year. I am pretty good at only having so many sometimes, but it is SO unpredictable. My boyfriend tells me that I have a chemical imbalance and when I drink it's like a switch that sometimes gets triggered. My dad says I am not a good drinker. I have gotten rid of most of my bad influence drunk friends, but I get bored at home alone and I escape by drinking a 6pack. (used to be 12 so I guess I am doing better) The thing I hate about this disease is how it contols you. I can't count how many times I have scraped change together to go get my poison. I spend my money on beer instead of food or gas or my bills. Needless to say, my credit is trashed and has been for almost my entire adult life. I am 32. My New Year's resolution is to finally quit drinking for good. My biggest sucess in life though has been failure and I fear I won't be able to go 1 month without a beer. I thought of doing this in a more realistic way, like only drinking on special occasions, only having x amount, etc, but I still worry that I will get pissed off one day over crap that goes on in my life, and throw my hands in the air and say "f@ck it" and go buy another 12pack. I tried an AA meeting before, it was very depressing and nobody spoke to me. Any and all advice or words of wisdom, encouragement would be heartfeltly appreciated. You can email me at cali_libra@yahoo.com I love life, but I want more out of it. Wish me luck! :) Thanks for listening and I hope we all have a happy sober New Year.


Member: Anne
Location: Boston
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 04:01 PM

Comments

Hi Kim....Anne here. I,too, am an alcoholic and find the holidays the hardest days out of the year to not drink but I have gotten through them sober and I know that you can too. The thing with alcoholics though, is drinking even one is one too many. Your best bet to a happy and sober life is to quit drinking altogether. I know easier said then done but with the help of supportive people and AA you can do it. Most AA meetings are very welcoming. I'm sorry you had a bad experience but dont' give up. Good luck in your recovery and I hope you have a happy, healthy, safe, and sober new year.


Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 04:19 PM

Comments

Bob here, alcoholic. Like it says in the Big book FC, we need 3 things to get sober. "Honesty, openmindedness and willingness" For me it was simple. I got on my knees on a hill and asked a God I didn't think existed to help me. (openmindedness) Then I got honest, with me...I didn't know how to stop or why I even started but I was willing to try a proven way and that was AA. It worked and as a result I celebrated 19 years sober last November. Was it easy? YOu bet !! But I had an "HONEST DESIRE". It even worked on smoking which I did after 47 years of that. Try it, you'll like it. It works if you want it to. God bless you.


Member: AB
Location:
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 06:23 PM

Comments

AB, alcoholic here, 12 days sobriety. Boy these holidays are tough. Decided not to go to ANY parties tonight, it's too risky with everyone drinking to excess. Nothing is more important than sobriety. Just in time for the holidays, THE NEW YORK TIMES came out with, not one but, two (!) articles on why drinking is good for you !!! "How a drink a day helps the heart" 12/30/02 also, "The case for Drinking (all together now: in moderation." 12/31/02. Both articles are full of statistics on how a couple of drinks a day is better for your health and longevity than even exercise ! These articles are unconscionable ! For alcoholics, this stuff kills you, and there isn't any way I know of to know which category you are in until you are out of control. Every one I have heard of who tried to do "research" to see if they could be a 'social drinker' failed. I think the NYT should be taken to task for not presenting a balanced article; including statistics on all the death and destruction caused by alcohol. This was dangerous and irresponsible journalism and I have no doubt it will be directly responsible for mortality tonight. I myself heard that evil little voice in my head saying it was OK to take 'just one' glass of wine tonight, after all, its good for you ! YUCK ! Stayed home to stay out of harms way. I'm going to write the NYT. Anyone want to join me? They have a right to print these statistics, of course, but NOT in such an unbalanced way. There are too many of us fighting for our lives on the other side of that coin. I wish you all a peaceful and sober New Year!


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 09:44 PM

Comments

HI everyone, Kathleen here alcoholic. I remember being 3 years sober walking out of an AA club to go kill myself because even though i was attending meetings on a daily basis, praying, doing the steps and all the deep depression couldn't be lifted. My doctor wanted me to go on antidepressants but I said no cause "what would the people in AA think."..This was back in a time where many of the folks in AA would say "you have to stop taking all pills and mind altering drugs."..well thanks to my HP a fellow AA who had many years grabbed me and told me to listen to my doctor. We are not doctors in AA, we are not marrage councelors or financial experts. We are in AA to learn how to not drink one day at a time. Antidepressants saved my life and it as like night and day. I needed outside help at a time for another issue that was not AA related. I love the 12 steps of this program and have many dear friends in this program, however I will always remember what a speaker said one time. He said, "don't put all your faith and trust in the people of the program because we are ALL sick people trying to get well, put your faith and trust in the program of AA, the 12 steps.".. Happy New YEar to everyone and thank you so much for being here for me.


Member: Opals
Location: MI
Date: December 31, 2002
Time: 11:00 PM

Comments

Opal here, grateful recovering alcoholic. I agree with Kathleen as my experience was similar in a way. I lost my first sponsor because she (and other AA hardliners) kept telling me antidepressants were again what AA teaches. Well, that was their interpretation and I believe misguided. My depression resulted in my drinking to relieve the pain. Treating just the alcoholism was like just treating one symptom. I urge any out there who are told by a doctor that they need to be on an antidepressant to follow his instructions. These are not "mind altering drugs" as some try to make out, they are medications like insulin is to a diabetic. Some of our bodies don't produce the chemicals necessary to keep level moods and experience great pain because of it. I have read the Big Book many times and have never read that we shouldn't be treated for a medical condition which depression is. I wish everyone a safe and happy New Year!


Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale, Mi. USA
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 12:19 AM

Comments

Happy New Year to all the Brothers annd sisters of the fellowship. !!! God bless and KEEP The Faith > The old year is GONE !!!! time for TODAY !!!!! Mike W. plumbfitter2000@yahoo.com


Member: Gage
Location: Louisiana
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 01:15 AM

Comments

Happy New Year to all of you!! Not every day is the start of a new year but every day is a new day and one day at a time is how we stay sober. Peace, love, and a big dose of happiness to you all. Thanks for helping me stay sober. gage022501@aol.com


Member: chris g
Location: S. Yarmouth, Mass
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 04:53 AM

Comments

Hi FC (ONE SICK PUP) read your post over and over can't give you any advise can only share what I had to do. Forget about losing trust your a drunk like me if i worried about how many broken promises and failed attempts at sobriety I had A.A.wouldn't let me back. A.A.'s with good quality sobriety don't jugde, they just say keep coming. I had to go into St. Christopher's Inn (a homeless shelter for men) in Graymoore, New York (hint-any lenghts) I was destitute even though I had an excellent paying job (little drinking problem) I was from out of state with no insurance (burned those brigdes they only pay so many times sound familiar) I had to earn a "scholarship" by prpoving I was serious about changing my life. I did what I was told and I got the scholarship. It was a 3 month inpatient (extremely strict especially on scholarship recipients). When I got out of there I stayed in N.Y. pretty much the rest of the story is in an earlier post. I got a part time job at a local supermarket (even told them I was in a program , why (so they knew my recovery came first and I could have recovery friendly hrs.) I not only made it through New Years I also celebrated my 1st yr. ever. Guess what I've been coming for 12 yrs.. I know you can do it because your still trying. I just kept coming and will continue to do so I start my day on my knees finish my day on my knees and do a meeting everyday. I'm also in touch with my sponsor either by phone or at a meeting everyday. remember GOD loves you,A.A.'s love you and your worth it. You know FC I've read alot of responses to your post take them to heart It's from the heart people care about you. love ya buddy Chris G. P.S.I'll say a prayer for you tonight. Hope all had a safe and sober New Year GOD-BLESS everyone.


Member: Randy E
Location: Ghana, West Africa
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 05:00 AM

Comments

It is from my experiance untill you are absolutly ready to make changes in your life, treatment is a waste of time and money. It took me my second round in a 12 year period to finally come to terms with this disease. I have 10 months Sobriety today and I can honestly say I am a grateful recovering Alcoholic and Addict because of this 12 step program and people like you. HAPPY NEW YEAR


Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 06:34 AM

Comments

KIM - I note you said you had tried an AA meeting - found it depressing and no one spoke to you. I asked my sponsor about this early on, and she said no one knew me. She suggested I say "hello, I'm Kathy" and stick out my hand Everytime I did that I got a response..often times they would ask if I was new or tell me they were. As to why you found it depressing, was probably because you didn't know anyone. If you continue to attend the same meeting that feeling will go away soon. We've all gone through it. Hang in there. If you don't "get the Program, the Program will "get" you . Happy New Year to you all......


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 10:31 AM

Comments

Well, they say every drunk hits bottom so I guess now is my time. Ironically I've been sober for 9 weeks now although I came very close to blowing it over the holidays. I actually had a glass of wine in my hand ready to take a sip but my husband fortunately stopped me. I didn't like the way in which he stopped me but as he later pointed out: it worked. What I have come to realize in the intervening days is what a burden I have been to my family, both emotionally and financially. I think this is the most depressed I have ever felt in my entire life, and the truth is I deserve it. I know what I need to do to get my life back in order but I also know that it is going to be very hard, and right now I am feeling very sorry for myself about the tough times I will be facing. I wanted this to be a better year for me but now I realize it's going to suck. Time to lie in the bed I made for myself. That's all. Hope the rest of you have a happier new year.


Member: Pat F.
Location: California
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 12:53 PM

Comments

Hi, Pat F. - alcholic, Happy New Year all! I have had no "professional" help with issues such as my lack of self-esteem, depression and drinking in over 20 years. When I did go - I felt stupid, like talking to a brick wall - zip feedback. Now, I feel that I am not a liberty to get such counseling for "employment" reasons. However, I have with the help of AA (in attending meetings and working through the "STEPS") begun to be "honest" with myself and my feelings and to address them not to "bottle" them up and let them eat at me until I can't handle them and therefore pick up that "first" - deadly drink. Today, I feel a peace that I can't remember ever feeling. I am 27 days sober and feel confident that I will make 24 hrs. as I have a wonderful understanding support system in AA and once I was honest -- my family. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 03:54 PM

Comments

HI,I"m Marv,alcholic.Just got home from my f2f meeting,yesssir,yes ma"am, we"re miracles allright! Maybe one advantage in attending AA is we hear it read at every meeting,that it neither ENDORSES nor OPPOSES A N Y causes....and it prefaces the Steps with another disclaimer "If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any lengths to get it--then you are ready to take certain steps.." Congratulations to all who are sober TODAY!The miracle seems to be that we CHANGE!And only our HP knows whats best for us... In my fifth year sober,I became a consellor in a treatment center,and what I saw about alcoholism in the decade and a half I worked there taught me it REALLY is cunning,baffling and powerful!When I retired four years ago I put aside "treatment tactics" and continued putting my posterior in the circle of recovering alcoholics.Im just one grain of sand in the vast beach of life,but words cant express the gratitude I feel that my new life is a gift from my HP,the fellowship ,and by working the steps of AA. Thank all of you,too,please keep making the effort! It is promised that God can,and will if He is sought,releive our alcoholism!Keep coming back!Happy Sober NEw Year!


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 06:03 PM

Comments

Hey all, Happy New Year to all, sober or not! Thanks for all the feedback to me. AA is definelty a powerfull thing, It took me a month for this dying alcohalic to get me thru the doors, and its from all you people out there on this site. I tried, failed, tried again, failed. But when I say this is hopeless, You people keep making me come back again thru the doors. I'm a very postive person and have failed at nothing. I might lose lots of battles trying to save my life here, But I have not lost the war! Someone told me, that the definition of Insanity is trying things over and over expecting different results. Reality check for me, just when I think I have all the answers for myself, someone tells me straight up things like that, I stick to it cause its the truth. Gonna give another try again to AA, cause its the last resort for any alcohlic. We do not fail unless we stop trying over and over. Belly full of booze and a head of full of AA. Something will give and I hope for me its AA. Thanks for letting me share tonight!


Member: Jan
Location:
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 08:55 PM

Comments

Hi, Jan, alcoholic. I personally need all the help i can get, so of course I use the professional kind. I know the BB talks about there not being an easier, softer way, but there is also no point in making getting sober any harder than it already is. It isn't a competition and there are no extra points for "degree of difficulty". While I needed to learn how to tolerate certain discomforts until they lifted (grief, boredom, stress, impatience, etc), I also needed to ask for help with the deeper, longer term biochemical problems that can be medically treated (clinical depression, anxiety, etc). Leaving untreated a problem that can be temporarily self-medicated with alcohol just provides another motivation (excuse?) to drink, and who needs that?


Member: donna
Location: northeast
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 09:34 PM

Comments

Happy New Year All and thank you for being there. I spent over an hour going through archives and the newest postings for the beginners meetings. I am a beginner again with 2 full days of sobriety. It is so comforting to know that there are others out there who have the same problem as I do. My drinking was pretty much limited to once or twice a week, but i noticed it getting worse when i began working at night and I could stay up later and go back to sleep after the kids went to school. This makes me feel like a bad mom and i always had an excuse as to why I was drinking. sometimes I would have one can of beer and that was it and others it would be much more but it was always at home, especially lately. I have been thinking about things a lot lately since i will be starting a new life as a college graduate in the spring and i certainly want to start it sober. I also have to come to think that problems of others do not have to be mine with me always having to be the person who fixes it. This has also been the case with problems with my husband and a personal family problem of his. I also noticed for some reason and without even trying, people who would gravitate to me, for friendship turned out to be some kind of addict or someone that had no life to speak of. most of all i want to be a good mother for my children and allow them to see the real me and not the one who is sleeping away the day at least twice a week. I know what the number one priority is for me now and that is to stop drinking, losing weight and then all the rest will fall into place. I have been to meetings before and the longest i went was for 6 months without a relapse. I also went to an outpatient treatment program that did not work mainly because i did not want it truly and sincerely but wanted to be like my friend who was becomming a success in the rooms but without doing all the work that she did to stay sober. I am now willing to do that work and will go to an afternoon meeting tomorrow instead of sleeping. My goal will be one day at a time as suggested and pray to my higher power to guide me through each day, go to a meeting a day for 90 days even if it is just to this site and get phone numbers. Thank you for listening and may you all have a blessed new year with much happiness, sobriety and health.


Member: T.J.
Location: Texas
Date: January 01, 2003
Time: 09:41 PM

Comments

Hi all, T.J. here. 6 weeks plus sober. Still feeling the humility and humbling of being a new comer. Learning and reminding myself to take it one day at a time, though I want to be further along in the program than I am. My sponsor reminds me that it's not a race and I'm doing great. Sometimes I wonder if I'm really working the program right. Could anyone tell me what the "13 step" means?


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:34 AM

Comments

T.J 13 Stepping is an euphemism for making inappropriate sexual advances, especially to newcomers. Some newcomers are very fragile when they come into these rooms. We are for the most part alcoholics that come to these room to recover. Unfortunately, there are also a few preditors among us. This does not only apply to men hitting on women, over my years in the program I have seen just about as many women hitting on men. Have your sponsor explain the 3 M's to you in early sobriety. Bill email me @ az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: friend of billw
Location: philly PA.
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:38 AM

Comments

13th step is getting involved early in soberty Relationship Basically........ My suggestion give you self a cause to get some time and do you steps learn why we drink and why we can't deal with life problems . We don't get better to the steps we get better doing the steps. Be good to your self ...


Member: friend of billw
Location: philly PA.
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:38 AM

Comments

13th step is getting involved early in soberty Relationship Basically........ My suggestion give you self a cause to get some time and do you steps learn why we drink and why we can't deal with life problems . We don't get better to the steps we get better doing the steps. Be good to your self ... tj


Member: Shelley
Location: Midwest USA
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 04:40 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm Shelley and I'm an alcoholic. I have been watching this site for over a week now, and tonight, I finally have the courage to post. I am 34 years old, married, two daughters, ages 3 and 4. In late October, I checked myself in to a wonderful 28-day treatment program here in the Midwest (so wonderful,in fact, that I wanted to live there permanently, but they told me that's not allowed! LOL.) Oh, that was such safe place. It was very easy NOT to drink there. Unfortunately, I had to come home, and face life, and it was no longer safe because, yep, there I was...Right there in it. I truly intended on my admission date that I would never ever pick up another drink. I was done. Yet,I have drank 3 times since October 24th, my original sobriety date, and I feel horrible about it. I didn't drink to the point of getting drunk, but my guilt over this is almost paralyzing me. Why did I pick up and blow it? I want to stop drinking more than anything, and am very serious about recovering. Each day, I say please and pray, do the daily readings and then some. And this time it's truly because I want to, not because I'm being forced to (a couple of years ago, I was "thrown" into a treatment center by my family OR so I thought...Love that alcoholic thinking. Treatment at that point was a waste of time AND money because my denial was HUGE at that point in time.) Regarding my slips,I keep remembering the passages in "As Bill Sees It": Don't beat yourself up, forgive yourself for the slip. But this is difficult to do, especially when the next passages state that forgiving yourself the first slip may pave the road to you doing it again! My first slip was 12/02/02, only 10 days after my discharge from treatment. My second and third were both in the last 10 days, and now I'm getting scared. My husband (also an alcoholic, back in the program after 6 years of non-heavy drinking) asked me both of those times if I'd been drinking, and I lied right through my teeth and said "No." Am I powerless??? Hell, yes, and I keep proving it, don't I? I have a lot of AA friends I can talk to on the phone, but I do not yet have a sponsor because I have a hard time getting to f2f meetings as I am a full-time mother, I work from home, and have trouble finding people to watch my kids as my husband is a retail manager and gone 12 hours 6 days a week (and none of the meetings I've been to so far allow children.) So, after that horrible run-on sentence, I would like to say that I am VERY grateful for this site. I know it is not meant to take the place of f2f meetings, but I can tell you honestly that it (YOU) have helped me immensely in times of need over the past several days. And for that I truly am grateful. I love AA, and wish I could go every day, but at this point in my life it's just not feasible. But, with my HP's help, and this website hopefully I can make it another 24 "slipless." Back to the professional help topic: I know I've screwed up, but I certainly wouldn't trade my treatment experience for the world. I haven't been perfect, but I have made progress, and I feel I definately wouldn't have come this far if the inpatient treatment hadn't been there for me. I'm sorry this post turned out to be so long, I really didn't intend it to be. Thanks to all for sharing and letting me share. Best Wishes for another sober day.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 06:03 AM

Comments

Shelly, Is sobering up the most important thing in your life? If it is, then you can make meetings. Neither of my parents did. They both died of the disease. Want your kids to see you do that? Do what you have to do to make the meetings. The disease will talk you into believing that there is some reason that you cannot. Why? How it works says it best, cunning, baffling, powerful. True statement, and we all get to live the results or take the experience, strength, and hope of those who came before us to get ourselves out of the vicious cycle that we are in when we arrive at AA. Mom went through long term treatment three times that I know of. Afterward she did not do what it takes to stay sober, because she allowed her disease to tell her she could not. No reson is good enough Shelly! To steal an advertising phrase from a sneaker maker, JUST DO IT! A promise that has been made to me, and many others, that to my knowledge has not been broken to date: AA works, if you work it. We must work it though, and avoiding working it insures that it will not work. Best wishes, Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:08 PM

Comments

Shelly, I can't say it anymore eloquently and heartfelt then Mark did. He is the living child of dead alcoholic parents. I am an alcoholic that nearly died and left a wonderful son. There is NOTHING more important to me than staying sober. I go to any length and have to make it to meetings, call my sponsor and learn the steps. I use online AA as a supplement to my tool kit but not as a primary. GET A BABYSITTER AND GO TO MEETINGS, it is just that simple. Get a SPONSOR and call her every day. NO EXCUSES.... JUST DO IT......FOR YOU.....FOR YOUR KIDS.....OR ALCOHOL WILL KILL YOU.....ONLY AFTER IT TAKES EVERYTHING ELSE AWAY PRECIOUS TO YOU...Half measures availed us nothing. Your slipping for a reason and your asking for help for a reason. Please take the advice and help yourself. God Bless...........Kelly


Member: janet
Location: Costa Rica
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:38 PM

Comments

Hi, Janet from Costa Rica here. Back from Vacation at the beach, and as soon as I walked in the house the cravings began!!! I have 8 days, and don't want to go pick up that drink, but why is it when I walk in----boom? cause this is where I drank! I really need some feedback. Thanks, Janet


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 01:50 PM

Comments

Janet....you sound alot like I did when I was experimenting with sobriety. I was always able to stay sober (well, I now know it was DRY) when I was travelling or visiting or on vacation. But, when I returned to my life, I drank. Why? Because that's how I coped with life...good, bad, indifferent. My coping mechanism was booze. That is why I need regular meetings. When I get myself REALLY involved in the program, I don't have time to think about drinking. Go to meetings - do 90 meetings in 90 days if at all possible (heck, I drank 90 times in 90 days with no problem *G!!!!). Find a sponsor and start working the steps. If you don't have the literature (the BB and 12&12) please get them or use the online additions. And avail yourself of the fellowship. When I'd get home, I'd feel SO alone, trapped in my life. By getting out and sharing with others, I discovered I wasn't so unique after all. And I learned that there IS a way to live life back at home...without drinking. Feel free to write...lessa_e@hotmail.com


Member: Kim C
Location: BC, Canada(bc_girl@mail.com)
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 03:04 PM

Comments

Morning ((ALL)) Day eight of sobriety, made it through New Years Eve, which is my first I can recall. It was less of a trigger than I thought it might be, but it was hard...even though I stayed home. Thank you all for being part of what is keeping me sober TODAY....I am working Step Two...writing out some horrible nightmares I have been having that have brought about much confusion to me. One day At A Time. Much Peace and Love, Kim PS...Melissa...have tried calling a few times...your machine was full....


Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 06:05 PM

Comments

(Shelly) I agree with the advice given by Mark and Kelly, get to a meeting! The Big Book says "half measures availed us nothing". Either you want it or you don't. Just wanting to do part doesn't work. I hope you chose AA, it will save your family and your life, it did mine. (Janet) Old familiar place, old familiar feelings. It will get easier every day with the help of AA. Hang in there! Love to all.


Member: chris g.
Location: s.yarmouth
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 06:50 PM

Comments

hi ((FC)) glad to hear from you you helped me today with your positive attitude stay focused, keep coming and you'll be o'k GOD-BLESS ((KIM C.)) ((DONNA)) good work! ((T.J.)) be careful you got some good input from AZbill and Friend of billW ((SHELLY)) KIM C. and Mark W. had a powerful message for you I've been following their post and they know what they're talking about.I usually keep try to keep the focus on myself but I'll make an exception. My children's mother had a drinking problem that she wouldn't acknowledge. And the state got involved. but her disease kept telling her "THEY" (the state) would never take the kids because she's the "MOTHER" GUESS WHAT?THEY DID! END OF STORY! when the state came to me I was NO BETTER THAN SHE WAS! my story and what I had to do is in an earlier posting. the mother does not believe in A.A. therefore she certainly doesn't believe in the 12 steps which I believe is helping me to change (SAVE) my life I read somewhere that "half measures avail us nothing", and also "rarely have we seen someone fail who has thouroughly followed our path". I don't know if mentioning the mother is right or wrong the point I'm trying to make is if your're truly an alcoholic and you don't stop it could happen to you. Neither of us has custody now. I can't even talk to her because her denial is so plain. It hasn't been easy for me but it's been darn worth it. I've been coming to this post about a week now. but it will never take the place of an outside meeting,talking face to face with other alcoholics is the most important tool I have. This site is just another tool but if my computer crashes and I'm dependant on it I'm like a fish out of water. YOUR IN MY PRAYERS. thanks for posting. your friend. GOD-BLESS


Member: Donna
Location: Northeast
Date: January 02, 2003
Time: 07:10 PM

Comments

Happy Sober Thursday all. Day three for me! i went to a meeting online yesterday which helped me also along with this room. Thanks to all of you for being here and ((((Chris)))) ty...it meant to much to me. Also, Shelly I know I am still new myself but get to a meeting and they will help. I remember the last time I went to AA they told me that "I went to great lengths to drink and I should go to great lengths to get and stay sober" and this is true. So this time I am listening and taking it one day at a time and one minute at a time if need be. No great cravings today....TG. Thanks (((((all))) for being here and listening. GB and have a sober and safe night. Stay strong Shelly and keep coming.


Member: Jose c.
Location: Carrollton, Ky.
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 01:31 AM

Comments

one sick pup, i can relate with you not knowing what was wrong with you. You say you are ready to go to any length to get and stay sober! Well first off know that no program willkeep you sober, it is a program you must work, work and work. God my higher power will help you stay clean, but still know this He will not do it for you. This goes out to any one who is looking for a place to recieve help and the best thing is it is FREE yes free. The program is intense but so was our partying huh? the place is called "The Healing Place" it has a 60% success rate of clients staying clean and sober. So my sick pup are you really willing to go to any length to stay sober? Are you tired of getting your butt kicked over and over again? Are you tired of really not living FREE. I urge you to check the place out it is located in Loiusville, Ky 40202.They helped me out greatly!!!


Member: Melissa
Location: BC
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 02:01 AM

Comments

Kim, yes, it was full, but not anymore...my answering machine is too complicated, (in more ways than one, check your email!) Was thinking of you on New Years' Eve, happy to hear that you're well and sober and really looking forward to hearing from you. I wish you such a happy new year!


Member: David C.
Location: Seattle
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 04:56 AM

Comments

Hello all, I am David and I am an alcoholic. I am on day five of my new life. I have been trying to "control" my drinking for the last five years. Five years ago I had achieved six month of soboriety, but when my father died I decided this was the "excuse" I needed to take a drink. I was determined to prove everyone wrong. I could succede in not over drinking for periods of time. I finally decided it was pointless. I had become a maintainance alcoholic. I had once gone two years sobor, but I stopped going to meeting and forgot how important it was not to take that first drink. I forgot that there is no cure-- only recovery. I am 54 and I think I am finally beginning to understand what AA is all about. I have been exposed to the promises of AA for 15 years or so, but I never let it work for me. I scoffed too much. This time I have come with much humility and a whole lot of fear. I know if I keep drinking I will die from it. All it takes to be in recovery is to take that first step of accepting you are powerless and asking for help. AND THEN DON'T PICK UP THAT FIRST DRINK!!! And most important-- KEEP COMMING BACK!! Peace David C davecox1848@aol.com


Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt, MI
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 06:41 AM

Comments

Bob-alcoholic. Perhaps Shelley you need to find the way the book suggests you get sober. It is not NECESSARY to go to a meeting. It is necessary that you take the steps. Until we uncover and eliminate the reason we drank, we will continue. I will suggest that you can get a sponsor online, take the steps with them and IF you get a chance to go to a meeting to do it. I go to meetings after many years sober. I go to carry the message that the steps get us sober. I use God and the steps to stay sober. Another alky can't keep me sober. If they could we wouldn't need the book or the steps. If you are serious about sobriety and can't find any other way, contact me and I will send you email the steps one at a time to do when and if you want to. I have done this with others all over the USA. It works if nothing else will. I have sponsored over 200 in AA and NA. The ones that took the steps by the book are clean and sober.The others drank/drugged again. All went to meetings. It is your life. Do you value it? bobsbunnies@voyager.net


Member: Bill P
Location: Michigan
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 09:53 AM

Comments

Bill P. here, alcoholic. Just got back from being off work from 12/20 until yesterday. It's good to be back in my normal routine and attending my daily F2F meetings here (Troy, MI) where I work. ((David C.)) - Thanks for your honesty about how your exposure to AA and for coming back to us. It's people like you that keep me sober by reminding me how this disease works. If I don't stay connected to this fellowship, it can become easy for me to forget that I'm an alcoholic. I can forget that it's that first drink that will kick my ass, because it will inevitably lead to another, and then another.... I'm 46 years old with a great wife and three wonderful children. I drank for 30 years before I decided to throw in the towel with booze. I just didn't work anymore. I was so miserable and full of self-pity that my life was a drag. The last six months I drank were hell and I never want to go back to that insanity. Next week I will have 8 months sobriety. It has not been easy, but it's been great. Life is much better and I feel good about myself again. Thanks again for checking in and keep coming back. This program (and this web site) has really helped me, I can't do this on my own. ((Kim C.)) - Congratulations on day nine(?). I've been reading your posts and it's encouraging to see your determination. I'm happy for you and wish you the best. Remember, just do it one day at a time..... It's much easier that way. I find that when I project out to next week or next month, I am prone to get my thinking twisted up. When I live just in today, I can enjoy all of the moments to their fullest. Many times I tell myself, I'm just not going to drink today. Then when tomorrow comes, I wake up, hit my knees and ask God to free me of the compulsion to drink, just for today. He delivers, and this program works. Thanks for being here and keep coming back! God Bless You. Peace, Bill


Member: Shelley L
Location: Midwest USA
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 10:42 AM

Comments

Hello, again. I'm Shelley, an alcoholic. Starting sober Day 4, and it's already started really rough. Husband and I are fighting, my grandfather is in the hospital, and I've tried to find someone to take my kids for a couple of hours today to no avail. I can't make a noon meeting, but I'll keep trying and may be able to make an evening meeting. Thanks to everyone for your comments and suggestions. It is very comforting when there is no one else available to talk to. ((Janet)) I also drank at home, and Lessa's post reinforced my vision of how I DON'T want today to be. Best wishes to everyone for another sober day. God Bless you all and thanks again! Shelley


Member: J-Rae
Location: N.D.
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 12:20 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. J-Rae, here, alcoholic. Professional help....great topic. When I finally admitted there was something wrong with me, I sought help...from psychiatrists, counselors, etc., and because I wasn't honest, it really was a waste of time. However, at the end of a long day treatment psych program for depression and anxiety, one counselor (who was previously a drug and alcohol counselor) said something that then baffled me, but was profound....."Be true to yourself". Two years later, when I was in treatment, I finally figured that out somewhat. I had to get honest. Without honesty, how could ANYONE help me? Yes, the diagnosis of depression and anxiety was correct, but alcoholism and addiction wasn't diagnosed, as I hadn't been honest. As soon as I became rigorously honest, then, and only then could the outside professional help actually help. I remain on one antidepressant today, despite some of those 'opinions' that we have to rid ourselves of any medication. Now, if a diabetic didn't take their medication, they could die. Alcoholism is only a symptom of a disease much greater. The program can help many of those symptoms, but I've never seen the program cure diabetes, multiple schlerosis, or many other diseases. It takes a doctor to diagnose those diseases, and then to prescribe medication appropriately. The program of AA cannot fix the carbeurator of your car, can it? You take your car to a mechanic. If your dog is sick, you take it to a vet. It's the same with this...some of us have grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of us are recovering if we can be honest. That's my experience. Thanks to you all for sharing...have a great 24.


Member: Kim C
Location: BC, Canada(bc_girl@mail.com)
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 02:05 PM

Comments

((Bill P))...how wonderful to hear from you. Thank you for your support. I agree fully, about living my sobriety only today. If I worry too far in advance, it is too overwhelming to me. I slipped at Christmas, but called my sponsor *during*...which was a huge leap for me. To overcome that shame...admitting I was weak "while" drinking was not easy...especially because I knew she would suggest trying to stop now, before I drank anymore...well, of course my lovely addicted brain wouldn't want to stop...so I stood up to my "committee of assholes" in my mind, and called anyways! I was grateful that day...for the strength granted me by my HP...for my sponsor...and for all the support I get here. ((Melissa)) How great to see you atleast got my message!..I will try to call you this morning! Thank you all for being part of what is keeping me sober TODAY. Kim


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 04:04 PM

Comments

I'm Chris -I'm an alcoholic/addict. Shelley, I cannot encourage you enough to find SOMEONE (there has got to be someone out there that can watch your kids for 1 hr.. Maybe you can trade off kids with someone-you don't have to tell them you are going to A.A.) to keep your kids while you go to a meeting. I remember how hard it was to find baby sitters, but I must say from my own experience, that there is NO replacement for f2f meetings...even this sight as great as it is , does not give you the help that f2f meetings do . Trust me , I know , from personal experience. ...As for professional help, it has really helped me. I have used it often during my years in A.A> to help me get well. AS others have said, there is no replacement for A.A., but sometimes I have needed both. In fact now, I am getting ready to go back to a therapist. Granted there are some crazys out there, but there are also some very great professionals that can really help us. I have gone in the past to a therapist that specializes in addiction...That has helped , because she knows the program and knows how to not let me give her any B.S....I have used her often to be fearlessly honest with, because I felt that with her my secrets would be safe. I am very greatful for the help I have recieved from professionals, and With the help of A.A. , I am on a journey to become well and whole. And professionals have been part of the solution on this journey. I am also so greatful for this sight..as it has also been of great help to me. To encourage all of you who are struggling in this NEw Year...Keep on truckin'..the miracle will happen if we work for it. If yÝ go to meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps, the promises do come true! Keep the faith!!!


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 04:16 PM

Comments

Kathy P. here, 64 days sober (so far.) Can't contribute much to this topic as I have never gotten help, professional or otherwise for my drinking. I'm just going it alone with the help of AA literature and this site. Again, thanks to those who have taken the time to share with me and inspire me. I miss hearing from some of you : Bette, Marie, Babette and Chris H. I would love to know how you are doing as I haven't seen any of you post in a while now. You are all a part of my recovery and hope that you are still checking in even if not able to contribute right now. Happy New Year to you all and hopefully a new beginning.


Member: Connie J.
Location: TX
Date: January 03, 2003
Time: 10:49 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm new to this site. My name is Connie and I know I'm an alcoholic. I've been in and out of AA so many times, they should make a revolving door. I decided to get sober again on Dec. 29. So I guess I've been sober 6 days now. Wow, I just realized that! I also suffer from clinical depression and anxiety, and take meds for that. Today I went to my doctor and just cried and cried. She referred me to a psychiatrist and a counselor. I'll be seeing them both next week. I'm praying to God that they can help me to stay sober and alive and hopefully become a happy person someday. My daughter (16) got in trouble with the law because of drinking and drugs and is still on probation. She went through a whole series of counseling and alcoholic awareness programs. They helped while she was in the programs, but now they're over and she's back to drinking and drugs. I just think if anything is going to work, you have to stick with it. And I know it's so very, very hard. I'm glad I found this site. Instead of going out and taking another drink I was able to sit here and talk and let it pass. Thank you.


Member: Donna C
Location: Western Australia
Date: January 04, 2003
Time: 12:16 AM

Comments

Hi, this is my first time at this site. I am 4 days sober am going to my 4th meeting tonight.My last drink was New years eve and it was the last straw for me. Stayed up all night drinking then drove the kids home in morning.I was discusted with myself and knew that this is it.I have been drinking for 26 yrs and i know i will lose everything if i don't stop. I have been saying to myself and others thats it i'm off it then i only stop for 2 days then make up for it binging.Now i've got to the point where i am putting peoples lives at risk and yet they are the most important things in my life.


Member: Buddy S.
Location: New Orleans
Date: January 04, 2003
Time: 04:41 AM

Comments

Just checking in for the first time in a few weeks. Have recieved professional help in the past. My exprience is, for me, is that I only relate to my own kind. Don't tell me about my alcoholism unless you are an alcoholic and can SHOW me how you quit drinking. Many professionals are members of the fellowship and might get through to me. However, I'd rather deal with someone who is helping me for the sole purpose of maintaining his own sobriety than deal with someone with a profit motive. I guess I'm turning into a Big Book thumper...a happy, joyous and free New Year to all!


Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: January 04, 2003
Time: 07:21 AM

Comments

I'm Gage. I'm an alcoholic. It's suggested that we take the third step with an understanding person. Some of you are homebound or live in places where you can't get with other sober drunks. There is nothing that says you can't take the third step alone, but if any of you have not taken the step and would like to, but you'd like to have someone with you, I will be happy to do it with you. There are a number of ways to do it at a distance, and I know several people here who will be happy to join us. Gage022501@aol.com


Member: Oz
Location: UK
Date: January 04, 2003
Time: 08:37 AM

Comments

Hi Donna - good luck. I was in WA until 3 weeks ago and there were lots of good meetings. Just keep attending (every day if you can for the present) and reading this site and the Big Boook - it gets easier, I promise. Write and let us know how you're feeling/doing 'cos we care about you - just as everyone you meet in meetings cares about you, for to see you succeeding renews our hopes - you will become our inspiration. I was in Bunbury,Albany, Kalbarri and Perth - bet one of those is near you? Thinking of you. Oz


Member: Katny K/
Location: Northeast
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 05:48 AM

Comments

Techs - where are the rest of the posts????


Member: xx
Location:
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 07:51 AM

Comments

xx


Member: Lauri M
Location: Ohio
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 07:56 AM

Comments

Hi folks! This is my first visit to this site. I have come to realize that I need to quit drinking. Over the last few years, because of life situations, I've been drinking more and more, not socially anymore, but to fill a void in my life. I'm drunk by myself at least 3 times a week. I discovered that emotionally, I am so unfulfilled. All of your comments here have hit so close to home, but I never wanted to face it that I had any problems. Guess now, I do need help. I will continue to visit and hopefully, this will be the first step to sobriety for me. Thank you all for reading this.