Member: neil s.
Location: k-town, germany
Remote Name: 62.155.219.53
Date: December 21, 2003
Time: 11:49 AM -0500
hello, neil, alcoholic here, 127 days sober today, through the grace of god, and the support from you and this group. "staying away from the first drink" 127 days ago, i thought well that will be easy, just don't drink, then you won't have your first drink, then it was easier to think this to be true than to actually live this way, it was suggested that i "change" the way i do things, drive a different way home from work, so that i don't pass by my old watering holes and/or stores, exercise, yes exercise, other than the "12 oz. curl" i hadn't done much of that, and to watch out for H.A.L.T., Hunger, Anger, Lonliness and Tiredness. this "staying away from the first drink" thing is a new way of life for me and i had to change some things, watching what i ate, and how much of it, during my "drinking career" i dumped a pot (or two) of coffe down me in the morning, then a sandwich, with a couple of beers to wash it down for lunch, then my usual 10-12 beers a night followed by whatever was left over from the wifw and kids eating, so PROPER nutrition is important to me now. as for the Anger part, i have enrolled and taken Anger/Stress mamagement class, and have asked my "HP" on a continual basis, to releive from this emotion, knowing that Anger/resentments can only lead us back to the bottle. Lonliness, well, i have this group, and a few other "cyber" AA groups, i have my F2F AA group, i have my sponsor, i have a phone list with more than enough names and #'s on,(and they even don't mind phone calls in the middle of the night) and i have my new found family, now that i am sober, i am learning to LIVE with my family, they are so used to dad dinking all the time, that it is different for them as well,(one day at a time). and as for Tiredsness, well, even now i have some nights that i just can't get to sleep, helk i was used to just "blacking" out and/or passing out for my sleep, but after a normal "earth" day i have now been able to sleep. knowing now that all i can do is EVERYTHING i can do to "stay away from the first drink". NEIL
Member: Jenny M.
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 198.81.18.31
Date: December 21, 2003
Time: 02:27 PM -0500
Yes I'm Jenny an alcoholic. I am about 5 months sober and this last few days have been difficult. Lot's of holiday parties to attend and a whole lot of drinking going on. I just don't feel like being around it. I would rather be at home watching a good movie or reading a good book or having a drink with them all. I guess I will end up feeling better in the morning for it. And that I can get away with a drink or two has not worked for me in along time. Had I drank last night I would feel awful today and have already gone down for the hair of the dog by now. So I am grateful for my sobriety!! Have a wonderful holiday you all out there!!
Member: linda c
Location: canada
Remote Name: 24.68.62.59
Date: December 21, 2003
Time: 08:19 PM -0500
hi, i went to my first f2f meeting in a long time and found i really enjoyed it. staying away from the first drink will be a tough one this week as i only have 2 days, but i am going to do it with the help of my HP and this meeting as well as the f2f ones. thanks for being here.
Member: petersenm.
Location: washington state
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 02:44 AM -0500
this is the first year (2 1/2 yrs sober)that the holiday has not been a dread for me. it takes time. alot of groups have open house events during the holidays, usually at fellowship halls etc. they stay open around the clock for fun and fellowship and to have a meeting for anyone who comes in and needs a meeting, often there are holiday potlucks also.f2f meetings could never be replaced for me if i am to stay sober. i have had to make alot of changes in order to stay sober thru holidays and special events as well as ordinary days, but it is possible and it even gets fun, just go to meetings ansd dont drink in between.hang out with people in sobriety. if you've gone to only one or two different groups and didnt care for them , keep trying new ones.jsut dont quit before the miracl happens. 'What's the miracle? youkeep coming back and you'll find out, it's different for all of us. thanks petersen m
Member: Lisa
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 10:10 AM -0500
Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.168.81
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 10:56 AM -0500
My husband and I went out with another couple last Saturday night. We had dinner in the North End in Boston - famous for it's delicious Italien food. The guys were parking the car and my friend Sonja and I were in the restaurant. She ordered a glass of wine and then asked if it bothered me that she had one. Then she asked "So are you never going to drink again, or is this just for a period of time to see how you do without it?" I replied "All I know is that I chose not to drink today and that's what I'm learning in AA" If I stay away from that first drink today then I won't get drunk today. That's all I know... and that's all I am capable of doing. In the past when I've tried to quit without AA, I didn't have that concept of one day at a time - nor did I have this loving supportive community to help me do that each day. When I connect to God each day, all I do is ask for for another day of sobriety. I have not had the slightest urge in six months - but to project and hope I won't have the slightest urge for the next six months is too much pressure for my little, frantic brain to handle... so just for today I will not take that first drink. Now THAT I can handle. God bless us all and stay sober TODAY! Love & peace, Kat
Member: sherry
Location: California
Remote Name: 66.229.228.207
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 11:09 AM -0500
Hi Sherry alcoholic. This is day 4. The first drink is the one that got me drunk. I love the feeling of relaxation it gives me and after that I'm off and running. Unpredictable as to what will happen. Went to a party last night, didn't drink and it wasn't that hard. Knowing I was the driver helped me in that environment. But let me assure you had I picked up a drink, I would be hungover today. Don't drink for today. Prayers for all who suffer.
Member: Dean V.
Location: CA
Remote Name: 198.81.17.189
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 11:23 AM -0500
Hi there. I just found this site yesterday and I kind of like it. It can be kind of a quick fix or reminder when I am at home. Saturday I had something that made me a little angry. Not too bad but it was there. I thought about what I could do. There wasn't much. I was blowing up the situation. I also played devil's advocate and asked myself if having a drink would help. I realized it wouldn't help at all and could get me started up drinking and I know that sometimes I can't stop by myself. I have been in the hospital 4 times since June because of drinking. I know I don't want just one drink. I have to be honest with myself and remember what happens when I drink. It is scary how fast I forget. That is why meetings help me. It helps me remember. If not a meeting call someone - anyone. It helps me. take care - Dean
Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Remote Name: 64.65.147.127
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 11:29 AM -0500
Hi, Becky here, alcoholic. Welcome to all the new folks, thanks to all of you for sharing. I am new myself, am now just over 4 months clean and sober. Because I still do have cravings, I'm finding that for this year I will have to change my holiday plans in order to stay away from the first drink. (and therefore the automatic second, third, etc.) I'm only going to attend "dry" parties this year. So far no one has been offended by my not being there. (Guess the world doesn't revolve around me after all!) Next year I may be able to attend functions where alcohol is being served, but for me it is just too soon. I LOVE taking it just one day at a time. Blessings to all!
Member: Beth S
Location: Minnesota
Remote Name: 66.60.197.19
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 02:02 PM -0500
My name is Beth and I am an alcoholic. I have known it for a long time. I want to quit drinking because my life is a wreck and drinking just makes it worse. I have wanted to quit for a long time, but later on at night, there I am having another beer. All I know is that I need help; I can't do this on my own.
Member: KimK
Location: Pittsburgh PA
Remote Name: 199.239.208.7
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 03:52 PM -0500
Hi I'm Kim. It is amazing to me to find that there are people who struggle like I do. I have 2 1/2 days w/o beer now. Tonight will be 3 nights. For me the nights are way harder. I can function all day, blow off cravings to "feel better" but at night I get over come with a compulsion to have my beer. And boy do I have it I even take my last one to bed with me, just in case I can stay awake to drink it. Reading all these posts is helping me so very much. I have a hard time being able to attend a f2f meeting as I have 4 small children and its hard for me to get out at night. But through prayer and God and reading that I am not alone in this giving me a boost of energy. I am thankful for 2 free nights with 3 in the wings. Thank you to all of you honest posters :) You are a great help
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.16
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 09:34 PM -0500
Well ive bin sober this long an decided to stay sober ive bin sober for, jan. 12 will be one year now an joining stayingcyber helped me alot so ill be attending more its fun its the holidays an i dont have a crave for alcohol thank god Merry christmas everyone
Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.168.81
Date: December 22, 2003
Time: 10:28 PM -0500
(((Beth))) & (((KimK))) keep coming back and stay sober. You can do it and this site and AA can really help. God bless you both and may He remove the desire for alcohol from you. love, Kat It really does keep getting better and better. I promise!
Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 01:13 AM -0500
My name is Gage and I'm an alcoholic. I think I was sort of hung up in something like the battered wife syndrome with alcohol. It really abused me badly, but I kept wanting to be friends with it. The first drink of the day to me was, for many years, one of the sexiest things I could think of, but just like an abusive lover, it always turned on me. I kept going back. The problem was that I couldn't seem to stop romancing that first drink. I read posts here almost everyday where someone has been drinking and they're miserable about it. When they describe the guilt and remorse they are suffering, I know exactly how they are feeling. Sometimes they describe how baffled they are that they fell into the pit again, and I know what that's about as well. I've felt all of that and more. Occasionally, there is even someone talking about just ending it all. I know how that feels also. But everytime I read those posts, I think, if that person would just practice remembering that deep, deep hurt, just practice it so hard that it is permanently etched in their memory, practice remembering it so hard that when they see a drink all they see is a glass full of pain, then, that person just might be able to get on with the 12 Steps of AA -- which by the way is really all that we have to offer a drunk that could possibly really help him. If that person could just do that and get going on the Steps, then something wonderful could happen, something that person probably can't even imagine. That is, his compulsion to drink will leave him. It'll just go away. No kidding. I never want to forget my last drunk. I want to remember every little gory detail. I want to remember how bad it hurt. And I want to remember how hard I had to practice in the beginning, just to keep the monkey down long enough to let me get on with the Steps. And when it was just too hard, I called someone from my group and asked them to come sit on me until I was feeling a little more sane. I am still willing to let someone sit on me today if need be, but honestly, I can't hardly stand the smell of liquor now. It smells like something dead to me. However, I never, ever start a day without reminding myself I am still an alcoholic, and alcohol still wants a piece of my butt. And I'm not afraid or ashamed, or too proud to pray. Practice.
Member: Robyn
Location: IN
Remote Name: 209.43.104.235
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 08:47 AM -0500
Hello all. I'm Robyn, an Alcoholic and an addict. Staying away from that first drink and drug is different for me each day. I've been sober for almost a month and it is not easy but I can say that it is getting easier. I'm not a religious person at all but I really want to stay sober. I was told to get on my hands and knees each morning and pray to my Higher Power to please help take the desire to drink and drug away today. I thought ya right, whatever. Well I started doing this and I'm not sure why but it has helped. The days are gradually getting better. I really don't know who or what that Higher Power is but just putting my goal up front each morning helps me stay away from that first drink. I know now I'm not alone in all of this madness.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 09:37 AM -0500
Hi ((All) Kelly, still an alcoholic! Great message((Gage)). Wow, I really needed that this morning! Wise words indeed that we Alki's can all relate to. The important thing for me to remember is I'M STILL AN ALCOHOLIC...ALWAYS WAS, ALWAYS WILL BE! As far as staying away from the first drink I stay away from all of them. I am a year sober and not ready to be around booze yet. I hope that as I get stronger that will change but for now I don't want to be around it. I don't allow alcohol in my home and I don't go to homes where people drink. If someone is my real friend we go out for coffee or they come to my house. They (respect) my feelings. If they don't it's not my problem. Staying sober is the most important thing to me. ANYTHING I put in front of my sobriety I will lose. I'm not ready to go down the toilet again so I stay away from alcohol. I don't want to drink but I guess I really have a fear of it too. It has conned me so many times and I really don't trust myself (yet). I'm also lucky that Christmas for me is a sober affair and I don't have family drinking around me. I am spending it with family and friends, in Church and AA, at the Alcothons. We have many in my area and they are fun and safe. I can pop in any hour day or night and a meeting is going on. That is always an option for anyone new to try and I suggest it! This will be my second sober Christmas and I'm really looking forward to it. Happy Holidays to all of us... Kelly :)
Member: Rita
Location: Northeast
Remote Name: 24.154.40.21
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 10:58 AM -0500
Hello All, To Kim and Becky, last week I wrote after a binge, this week I have gone to meetings all week and prayed and I can tell you, waking up just one week later and knowing I did something about my drinking, I feel better. I am not hungover like last Monday, sick as a dog. I took a walk in the woods near me and thanked God (or the Creator whoever) that I was alive to see this day. I have a very long road, and a lot of hard days ahead I am sure, but today, I am sober, I feel good. Just go to an AA meeting, its got to be better than where you are now. Its so lonely on that road alone. Rita
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.9
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 12:07 PM -0500
I got a lot of buddies that stop by where i use to live before i moved I always said yes,Im a recovering alcoholic nothing was stopping my problems an i had a dwi. that was the last time i drank any alcohol reading peoples problems I relized I had the same problems now adays i say no an find new friends lifes easyier god bless
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 198.81.26.74
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 08:45 PM -0500
I drank far beyond the point when the booze quit working for me. I crossed an invisible line and became incapable of controlling my drinking. I became a daily drinker and I was more or less insanely drunk most of the time. I tried to drink more. I tried throwing speed into the mix, but nothing worked -- the alcohol was not working and I could not stop. I lost nearly everything. I was unemployable and became a ward of my wife. She enabled me to drink until I got to AA. I went to Meetings drunk for six months before getting to a Meeting sober. I wanted to quit drinking and I did what the sober members of AA told me to do and it has worked so far. I am a grateful alcoholic and grateful to be an alcoholic. If I was not an alcoholic I would never have found the wonderful life I have today. I pray that all the new comers have as much luck with this program as I've had.
Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.18
Date: December 23, 2003
Time: 09:25 PM -0500
I feel great just say no an walk away from people that try to jeperdize ur sobriety god bless everyone
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.0.184.118
Date: December 24, 2003
Time: 04:52 AM -0500
Hi. Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. The God of my understanding loves me so much that he gave me the choice to drink or not to drink today. It has been that way ever since Eve talked with that snake. :) What an awesome freedom that is for me. The freedom of choice. All I have to do is want to stay sober more than I want to drink. I chose not to drink today. That is my choice. Not God's. Not yours. Mine. I am the only person that can get me drunk. Thank you very much I love you. Bill
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.96.44
Date: December 24, 2003
Time: 08:53 AM -0500
Hi, Ann here, alcoholic... and 83 days sober, one day at a time... I was a first beer in the morning person for a long time.. I worked out of my house, so on the work end I got away with it for a long time.. at least I thought I did. Since getting sober, my work has really picked up.. hey, think it might be sober thinking? I have also lived by the simple rule that I can no longer have even one drink. This rule has helped me so far. Last night I went to a basketball game and was handed a beer to hand down to another patron. My brand even. I looked at it with distain at the pain and hardships that it caused me and my loved ones. I finally realized it is just a liquid in a bottle. It holds no special powers. And I passed it over somehow jealous of the other person that they could just have one. I can no longer drink.. period.. and we're almost thru these holidays folks, so keep on going one day at a time.. and here's to all of you for sharing your stories. We all learn from others experiences and for someone like me, reading the newer peoples posts makes me realize how far I have come with all of you. Thank you.
Member: daviddave8
Location: Pennsylvania
Remote Name: 204.186.117.210
Date: December 24, 2003
Time: 11:42 AM -0500
HI I am dave a sober alocholic for 23 years if i can do it anyone can,it does get easier as it goes.GOD BLESS ALL<HAPPY SOBER HOLIDAYS.
Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: December 24, 2003
Time: 09:32 PM -0500
Sober, safe, and very happy holidays to all. Peace be with you.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Remote Name: 80.14.107.208
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 05:41 AM -0500
DON'T FORGET WHERE THE DISEASE TOOK YOU, BUT INSTEAD, SEE WHERE YOU CAN NOW GO! (((Ann D.))) You go woman, from your biggest fan in Paris! Hope for (((Everyone))) janbbparis@yahoo.com
Member: dave.s
Location: driffield e.yorks
Remote Name: 80.225.178.61
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 08:48 AM -0500
Please excuse me for sharing with you. Iam 10 years sober now,but like every one around,some 30 yrs!!Iam but one drink away from a drunk. I need to "come back"and I must never forget how it was for me 10 Christmasses ago!! The early "struggle",the overwhelming compulsion to Drink Again. But I didnt because(although I didnt realise it at the time}I was not alone and never had to be again. I had arrived at a place where alcohol had never taken me. A place of love caring and understanding-this place called the Fellowship of Alcoholics Annonymous. So thanks for letting me share,I hope{Pray}that you also find the peace and serenity that being sober brings. Best Wishes for a sober and peaceful New Year. Dave S jjratdave@tiscali.co.uk
Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Remote Name: 64.78.111.54
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 03:17 PM -0500
I'm 10 months sober, so this is the first Holiday Season without alcohol. So far, so good - made it through Christmas. A few "friends" wanted me to have "just one", and it still seems weird that they can have a few and then quit. But they aren't alergic to it, and I am! Alcohol affects me different that it does them, so even though it might not seem "fair" or "right", I just can't have any. So, I just have to accept that they can drink and I can't, and have the courage to change my ways. I need to keep the wisdom to know this, and accept it as a small "hardship" that leads me to peace and happinesss. Through the grace of God, I will stay sober and remember this year as a good one - one where I learned how to live naturally without the highs (and lows) of alcohol. And I carry into the new year the hope for sobriety made possible by the last 10 months. Thanks for letting me share. Here's hoping and praying for another 24 sober hours.
Member: Cec H.
Location: Rivercity
Remote Name: 172.153.100.185
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 05:19 PM -0500
Just don't drink
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 06:44 PM -0500
As we near the end of this year I thought some might enjoy this article. It is on Bill Wilson who made the "Top 100" heroes of the century. It also fits with the topic (back to basics), as he founded the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Everyone have a safe and sober New Year! http://www.time.com/time/time100/heroes/profile/wilson01.html
Member: robert w
Location: holiday,fl
Remote Name: 209.4.43.219
Date: December 26, 2003
Time: 11:49 PM -0500
Hello to you all. The best remedy for staying away from that 1st drink is all about self honesty. To remember that you are powerless over alcohol and your life is unmanageable. It takes a while to reach the point of some kind of self honesty. At this time in my sobriety I know that I could swim in a pool of alcohol and as long as I don't take a drink I am fine. I have found that people who do take that 1st drink were already mentally drunk before actually getting physically drunk. Hope this was of help to you. Bob W
Member: Jude
Location: MA
Remote Name: 66.31.203.234
Date: December 27, 2003
Time: 10:46 AM -0500
I am an alcoholic. I stopped for about 20 days, and then drank again over Christmas. I need to go to a ftf AA meeting but am really scared. Is there someone you can call to go with the first time? This has got to stop!
Member: stevenl
Location: Inland Empire
Remote Name: 4.3.94.14
Date: December 27, 2003
Time: 01:30 PM -0500
Jude, Practice the first word of the first step! It is what I did almost sixteen years ago, with my lips virtually super glued to a crack pipe and a vodka bottle. It semed to make a difference. Find someone in a meeting you relate with and stick to them. I found the angriest man I could find who had several years sober, went to meetings daily, was honest , open minded and had a sincere desire to stay stopped drinking (and using). I followed him around like a puppy dog. He eventually found it necessary to take a drink, but I still owe him the debt of my life. This is because he taught me the principles of 12 steps and how to act on them in the life I ran from--and I was able, for the first time in over 20 years, to stop running! 12SODMF!!!! Be Well....
Member: Amanda H
Location: NW Montana
Remote Name: 12.150.66.91
Date: December 27, 2003
Time: 02:03 PM -0500
Jude, you were doing great and you will again. I read your posts before Christmas. Understand relapse is a part of sobriety. Getting it right takes time. Do not despair. Alcoholism is a tricky disease. I am impressed that instead of beating yourself up too badly you know you need to go to a F2F meeting. It is normal to be scared to go to your first meeting. The first meeting for me was very scary until I got there. But it does not help that there are way too many stereotypical and preconceived notions about AA out in the media and society. Fortunately, I had I doctor that was a personal friend of mine, who happened to be ahead of me in his sobriety. I called him, admitted that I needed help and that I wanted to go to a meeting. He helped me find a “good” first meeting. (Just so you know, all AA meetings and groups are not created equal.) He drove way out of his way and took me to my first meetings. If you do not have a friend that you can think of to take you, you can call the AA hotline in your area. The numbers are published in most phone books, and are on the AA web site which can be found at: www.alcoholics-anonymous.org and click on the page called “General Service Conference Area Web Sites”. This will give you the web site and all the information for your state AA programs including hot line and web site numbers. When I called the hotline for my area the first time a wonderful volunteer answered the phone. He was SO KIND. He talked to me (while I cried) long enough to get to know a bit about my addiction to alcohol and me. He put me in contact with a lady who had two years of sobriety whose situation was very similar to mine. She also offered me hope and she also offered to take me to my first meeting and show me the ropes. Most AA chapters have a meeting for newcomers that goes over the basic guidelines: The types of meetings available, how they work, respecting anonymity, the no cross-talk guidelines, and respecting each other’s experience and perspectives. Most F2F meetings are wonderful! Some I have gone to have not been as they were targeted for a very different group of people than me. Good luck and if you have any more questions, you can e-mail me at amandas_spirit@hotmail.com. I will try to help you get started.
Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: December 27, 2003
Time: 08:22 PM -0500
Now have 3 days into yet another effort to quit and stay that way. Decided that maybe Christmas Day would be a good anniversary date (and a not too bad gift for my very patient wife). Realizing that not taking that first drink is the only way to be sure of the outcome has helped. JUDE - Take Amanda's words to heart. In one of my earlier efforts -- about 60 days sober -- I finally found the gumption to go to a meeting. Felt strange at first but within a very short time I felt very welcome and comfortable. She's right too that all meetings are not alike. My first one was a small group but it had a speaker that evening who was very good. My guess is that a smaller session would be better as a first meeting than one of the large open meetings with speakers every week. My thinking is that at a large meeting you can come and go without ever meeting anyone or feeling the warmth that characterizes many AA meetings. But that's just my 2 cents worth and I haven't been very successful. Ed