Member: Babette R
Location: Jerusalem
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 08:41 AM

Comments

Wow! First one here. Today I have 9 months clean and sober! I'''ve used the serenity prayer a zillion times especially when I pass this pharmacy where I used to get all my pills--its right next to my house. I pray that some day the obsession to use will leave me as the one to drink has. That happened pretty soon after I sobered up. I hope that some day I'll walk past that pharmacy and not even notice it like I do with liquor stores. That was a miracle and I know there's got to be another one coming. Until then I'll use the Serenity Prayer.


Member: marcel d
Location: canada
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 08:54 AM

Comments

wow first time here ive been out of treatment for 4 days i have yet to walk out of the house never mind walking past the beer store.


Member: robert s
Location: ct
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 09:26 AM

Comments

Thank you all for your wonderful responses, Let me rephrase my question. my only problem from drinking alcohol seems to be stomac acid. I do not have a behavior problem like I hear about in meetings. But when the doctor told me to stop drinking coffee and alcohol. I have not able to stop them so far. I guess my question is: Is it ok to go to meetings if I can not tell stories like I hear there? I feel silly saying that stomac acid is the only reason for being there at the meeting. Does anyone else attend meetings for a similar reason? I know i could just take pills to solve the problem. But it scared me somewhat when I could not stop the coffee and alcohol. I guess I am afraid that I might start doing the behaviors I hear about in meetings. I am in my early 60's so I have been drinking a long time without behavior problems.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass.
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 09:50 AM

Comments

Good morning everone. That's a tough one, Robert. I understand that it is easy to set yourself apart from others whos' problems with alcohol are far worse than yours. I have never had a DUI or lost my job or spouse etc. due to alcohol either. About the worst I can say is that I have embarressed myself socially a few times and not been a good role model to my kids. But at my age (47) with 20 years of drinking under my belt, I worry now about potential health problems. It sounds like you need to quit for health reasons and the fact that you cannot is a problem. If your doctor told you to give up broccoli or jello for your stomach acid, would you have a difficult time doing that? It's a mistake to undersetimate the addictiveness of alcohol, even in moderation. The rest of us did, and that is why we are all here. Sounds like this weeks' topic is about vulnerability and learning how to take care of ourselves mentally and physically at least a little bit everyday so we don't end up so stressed out that we need that "quick fix." Of course we have learned the hard way that there is no quick fix and we have to think beyond that. Note to Chris H. from last meeting: So sorry to hear about your husband's worrysome test. Keep in mind though that a Chest X-ray is not a definitive test and that spots and shadows can mean a lot of different things. I imagine that on Tues. the doctor will reccommend a CAT scan or MRI to see what is really going on in there. In the meantime please know that our thoughts and best wishes are with you and get support from healthy resources like family and friends.


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 10:03 AM

Comments

Robert S, the only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. Period full stop.


Member: Anna W
Location: FL
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 10:23 AM

Comments

Hi All I am Anna/Alcoholic Wow, I use to say "I could quite anytime" I use to eat tums and antacids like candy. Now that I am sober I no longer have acid problems among many other behavior problems. Being sober is a state of well being not only physically but spiritually. One must take a personal inventory to determine what is or isn't in ones self. Thanks to you all for letting me share!!


Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 10:43 AM

Comments

Happy Sunday to All, New Topic Day! HALT. Well I can certainly relate to this one. H= as in Hungry; one of my (ex) husband's gripes was that I didn't eat often enough, or soon enough- and I'd get cranky. It's true. I'm much better at that- in fact am going to cook steak and eggs for breakfast when I get done with this post. A= as in Angry; yep I'm f----- angry. For lots of reasons. My biggest and most consuming is the death of my son. The anniversary of his death is next Saturday (11/9)- it will be three years! He would have just turned 27 years old on 10/17. He died in a fire at a friends house- smoke inhalation. No smoke detector- a horrible and senseless loss of life. He was my best friend as well as my son. Anger? Oh yeah, you bet! L= as in Lonely; absoultely, incredibly lonely. Being a private person has it's plusses but in times like this it sucks. I don't have a single adult friend to "hang out with"- mostly because my ex discouraged me from having any kind of life other than with him solely (altho he would disagree). Of course he took off when the going got tough. He's always taken the easy way out whenever he could. So, there's the "A" word there as well (Anger, oh and it could stand for other things as well). And the "L" word here too- I miss my son. And we come to T= as in Tired. Yep, tired beyond belief. Trying to get out of this slump but finding it almost impossible to do. So does HALT mean I'm supposed to miraculously pick up all of the pieces and pull myself together and be just fine and dandy? Oh, if only.... Sorry if I started everyone's Sunday off to a negative start. But the new topic of the week mighta just tweaked my emotions a bit. This week is gonna be a tough one. Thanks for listening, and best wishes to all, Bette


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 01:12 PM

Comments

Hi to all. I'm at least 100 days sober and grateful to my Higher Power & AA. To robert s who is just getting stomach acid. You said you were having hard time stopping too. That is a problem that defines alcoholism. We all have a hard time stopping or are unable to stop without help. I am just such a person -- My love affair with alcohol started last year and I soon realized that I couldn't stop, hard as I tried. Now I've been sober I began to realize that I had a bigger problem than just not being able to stop. Now I use everything available including HALT, and the serenity prayer to get through one day at a time. Peace & Happy Sober Day. Love to all. Cecilia


Member: Ron G.
Location: Cape Breton,Canada
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 01:44 PM

Comments

Hi all Ron/alcoholic;Halt,what A great topic. I have been sober 81/2 months but the past few days Ihave been feeling things that I have not felt since my very early days of sobriety.Friday I had an overwellming desire to drink.I felt Angery(at what I don't know) I felt Tired,both physically and mentally,and althought I live in A nice home with A truly loving wife,I felt very Lonely.I must thank everyone that posted last week because it was your words that helped pull me out of this FUNK.If anyone out there has any advice for dealing with the Funky state I found myself in I would like to here from you.GOD bless you all.


Member: Robin A
Location: Florida
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 02:00 PM

Comments

Congratulations, (((Babette)))!! Go girl! I came here to post, may be a bit off topic (alot off) but I got this in my daily meditation today and wanted to share it with (((Marsha))) who has spoken a few times about her "crutches" that she occasionally uses in the life she lives now. It speaks volumes, and I feel it was written with her in mind. Hope you don't take offense. ********************** Date: Sun, 03 Nov 2002 Today's thought is: We don't need crutches. We are unique and wonderful people. We have weaknesses, yes, and we also have strengths beyond our imagining. We can meet the day without the prop of food we don't need or an overly restrictive diet. We can put away these crutches and just be ourselves. Perhaps we needed a crutch at one time. We got used to it, and even though it was in our way and slowed us down, we were afraid to venture forth without it. Gradually, the crutch began to control our movements and take over our life. We became its slave. Then we were invited to consider the possibility of a Higher Power that would eliminate our need for a crutch. Intrigued, we began to practice relying on this Higher Power in concrete ways on a daily basis. We are learning how to walk again. Scary sometimes, without the old props, but Step by Step we're on our way to recovery. Just for today, I will put away the crutches I no longer need and rely on my Higher Power. * * * * * * * * * * * Today's meditation comes from the book Inner Harvest by Elisabeth L. copyright 1990 ******************** Love to (((all ya'll))) All we have is TODAY, so please be careful not to get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. Robin


Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 02:56 PM

Comments

Bette, I am really sorry to hear of your great loss. My son is still alive but since my disfunctional behavior caused a tear in our relationship, I feel like I have lost him. He is now with a lady much older then him and very dominating. He & I use to confide in each other. He told me the other day that I was a burden to his emotions. She has convinced him that our closeness is not normal, in a parent and child sort of way. I know in some ways she is right and I think I crossed the line in burdening him with all my stuff. On the positive side, my husband who is also an Alcoholic, sat down with me and read from the Big Book this morning. We also went over the 12 steps. We didn't make the meeting but that is a start. I plan on attending on Tuesday and he said he will go next Sunday. I will keep my fingers crossed. I like the idea of using Halt. It will make me step back and really take a good look when I whirl out of control. Peace


Member: Glen
Location:
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 04:12 PM

Comments

Bette, particulary in early sobriety, HALT refers to the admonition to not allow ourselves to get too hungry, angry, lonely and tired because we might 'slip' and have a drink..... Have you gone for your first 24 hours without a drink yet?


Member: robert s
Location: ct
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 04:51 PM

Comments

Thanks everyone, I think I am getting the picture.....my spiritual behavior could be my biggest problem. What I dont show to the outside world. Thanks for your help


Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 05:53 PM

Comments

Hi All Im JohnA Kelly M thanks for the tips on sponosrship, I already had two guys in mined based round what you had been saying, I just needed to see if I was doing it right. Thanks. JohnH If you read this before you go away, Dont cut your self up over ANDY, You did all you could with an open hand and a good hart, He chose to go out and Drink, You chose to stay with the winners. Have A good HOLIDAY. Keep sober all JohnA


Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 06:03 PM

Comments

Glen, the answer is no.


Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 06:04 PM

Comments

((Lonnie)) Beginnings are hard and full of mixed up feelings, fears etc. I can only tell you that I have a few 24hours now, and I have my family back. My kids were so fed up they just couldn't stand me, wrote me off. I had now great expectations, but worked hard at making amends to my children and slowly, we have developed a good relationship again. Hope that helps, things can be repaired in sobriety. HALT, taking care of ourselves. Extreme emotions, especially in the beginning are dangerous for us. When we were hungry, angry, lonely or tired we tended not to think clearly about taking care of ourselves, but how to make it better, numb it with alcohol. If we keep ourselves spiritually and phsyically fit, we stand a better chance of controlling our emotions and actions. God Bless all. Keep coming back, it works!!


Member: xxx
Location:
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 07:28 PM

Comments

xx xx


Member: Lynn R
Location: Albq.NM
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 07:50 PM

Comments

I have been sober four days now. I am in great physical pain, anxiety, loneliness, sadness, trying to deal with some family problems. I went to a meeting last evening...I hung on without a drink. Made it. Thank God. Missed this evening's meeting. Trying so hard to hang on...thought about getting a bottle of wine just to get out of this awful state.


Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 09:26 PM

Comments

Crutches are, without a common base, knowledge that you know what is going to pass. If I were to look back on the past years of my sobriety, I would have to focus on the parts which, without a dignified poise to say it, are based in anger rather than fear. But in too many ways, my crutches have kept me out of the baseline, and that is what basically keeps me sane. If I were to take myself to heart more often than I do, I would find myself a broken woman with only a cigarette in one hand and a bottle of sin in the other. But I don't dwell on such non-luxurious things. I like to think of life as being sacred and beautiful, but wasting the path on a few misdeeds of such nature is liking peeling a banana without breaking the neck.


Member: Lisa T
Location: New York State
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 10:29 PM

Comments

(((LynnR)))Sometimes you can make "the white knuckling it" a lot easier if you go to a meeting where we all understand what you are going through. My primary purpose in life is to stay sober. I make a meeting once/twice every day, it is my "medication". Even if my butt falls off, I'll put it in a paper bag and go to a meeting. I call my sponsor every day, take commitments and work my steps. I am a very happy, healthy and spiritual recovering alcoholic. Read the promises.


Member: Bill J
Location: Kingsville TX
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 12:34 AM

Comments

We have a H.A.L.T. sigh made like a STOP sign in our clubhouse to remind us to not get too Hungary, Angry, Lonely or Tired. It is wise advise. If we do get in any of those places we need to get on the phone or to a meeting and get what we need to remedy the problem. If you are a Alcoholic to drink is to die so we need to set our priorties. My #1 priorty is to not take a drink and do what is nessary to not take that drink. This program works.Lynn 4 days is great. It is easier to stay sober than to get sober. Love to all my cyber friends.bj


Member: Marie
Location: Ca.
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 12:35 AM

Comments

To Bette: I can't even fathom your loss - I planned on only reading posts tonight and not writing but when I read yours my heart broke - I have a son and can't even imagine the pain in losing him - you are taking some brave steps by even posting here. The fact that after all you have been through you would like to address your drinking is very healthy - not sure I'd be as strong. My very best to you and my thoughts are with you during this very tough week.


Member: Debbie
Location: SD
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 01:34 AM

Comments

Debbie, alcoholic. I am guilty of being Hungry, Angry, Lonely and Tired a lot. I really need to focus on that more often, as a matter of fact it's late and I have no clue why I am up. I'm tired, it is almost like self sabotage, like I must make things hard for myself. >sigh< I need some peace and serenity. I plan to pray for that. Thanks for being here.


Member: Maureen
Location: oregon Coast
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 01:58 AM

Comments

Hungry,who needs to eat when you are on a liquid diet. Angry,I wonder why I am angry all the time. Lonley, who the hell would want to be around me. Tired, too busy staying up drinking, I should pray harder to get tired of that. Thanks for being here :)


Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 02:04 AM

Comments

I'm Gage and I am an alcoholic. ROBERT S, hi. I know a guy at this site who spent a couple of years living on the streets of Seattle, a wino. While he was doing that, I was paying my bills and my mortgage and drinking myself to death in my cozy home. The difference between us is that he has a much more interesting story to tell than I do, and that's about where the difference ends. The thing that had him running those streets was the same thing that had me holed up in my little fortress. What made him an alcoholic and what made me an alcoholic wasn't what happened to us on the outside, it's what happened to us on the inside. Robert, I don't know whether you are an alcoholic, (and it wouldn't matter one bit if I did know.) The booze tearing your stomach to pieces might be evidence that you are, but the real question is, can you on your own devices leave the booze alone? You are the only one who knows that as well. If you can't leave it alone without help, then your story is about the same story my friend and I have to tell. Just different settings. Don't worry about those war stories. Good luck to you.


Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 04:53 AM

Comments

Thanks John A - your support last evening was mammoth.I'm OK now and looking forward to Oz.If youse Andy,though, give him my best.I'll be there for him when I return. In the meantime - get yourself a sponsor and get stuck into the sharing - you'll find it easier than trying to cope on your own (which you're doing wonderfully - but at some cost to yourself). Best regards John


Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 08:10 AM

Comments

Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. This is my first online hug ((((Bette)))), I will be praying for you this week. I agree with Kathy P that the HALT is a reminder to take care of ourselves. We can be of no use to anyone else if we are not serene ourselves. Marcel - Please try and get out of the house and to a F2F meeting, I think it will really help you. Robert S - I also was told by a doctor to quit drinking but I could not. However, I was not ready to quit at that time so I had to suffer some consequences before I was ready..maybe you won't have to suffer anymore then you already have. Ron G - I can also be lonely in a room full of people. I'd say you are losing that pink cloud we get on when we are first sober. Try and pick up a few extra meetings and talk to your sponsor. This is when we can tell if we are really working the program or not. Lonnie - Sounds to me like you and your husband had a meeting..it only takes two drunks. Sober blessings everyone.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 09:42 AM

Comments

(Bette), Thank you for sharing your experience, you have good reason to feel angry and sad. I’m sorry you are still drinking as drinking only ever offered me lies. Your son fulfilled his purpose here, but you are still breathing so there is still important work for you to do. He would not want you to destroy yourself. I pray you will return to recovery, begin your healing and find the Joy you are entitled to have. Hungry, Lonely and Tired are easy for me. I just eat, pick up the phone or rest, but anger was a bear. I often felt justified to give myself over to anger. When this happened I usually drank. The steps have taught me anger is only a mask for my fears. I can face my fears today knowing God (which I found in the steps and AA) is with me, so my anger has become fleeting whenever, my ego tries to take charge. It is a clear signal that it’s time to get on my knees and pray and find a way to be in service.


Member: Roanne
Location: MA
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 09:54 AM

Comments

Roanne, alcoholic. I've got a couple of things today. I had another slip and I'm trying not to get overwhelmed.I know I have to get to more meetings, keep step one in mind, and remember HALT. HALT, to me, is like taking care of a newborn, except that newborn is me. The difficult part for me is letting my feelings actually reach my brain to be recognized. I am now used to masking all my stuff--even basic hunger- with alcohol. A newborn lets you know when something is wrong. If a newborn can do it so can I. The other thing is( to the person with the stomach acid)many people would never believe I am an alcoholic. But, in my honest moments, I know. Drinking alcoholics may not have many of those moments but when by some grace of God they come to me,I try to see them as the blessing that they are.


Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 01:38 PM

Comments

Roanne, I like your analogy. We are newborn. My husband and I went the whole weekend without drinking. We read from the Big Book again this morning and went over the 12 steps. Opal, again thanks for the kind words. Bette, you are in my prayers. Have a Safe and Sober week everyone and HALT. Peace


Member: Dave
Location: PA
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 02:02 PM

Comments

Dave, alcoholic here. Haven't posted for a few days because , well i've not been able to get it right just yet, and it's really gnawing at me. i have been through a lot of struggles in my life, and usually have come out of it positively. but with alcohol, im just not gettin' it done. "it" being the sobriety thang. anyway, i never heard the HALT bit before, so that is something to work on. It sure does make sense. tonite is a meeting i like so i'll be there for sure. i'll also be at a meeting every nite this week if that's what it takes. i'll do the 90/90 thing , i'll even check into rehab if i have to. I just hope i don't have to lose something like my driver's license or my family before i get this thing under control. Thanks for listening, i wish i had a more positive message today. maybe tomorrow? You all are great.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 02:42 PM

Comments

Dave - Thanks for checking in. You have the right attitude, and as long as you are open and willing, recovery is readily available. "WE" are always here to help. I've been sober for 6 months and I can testify that lots of meetings goes a long way in helping me stay sober. As long as I stay sober and listen at meetings, my attitude gets better and better. Peace.


Member: Ron G.
Location: Cape Breton,Canada
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 03:15 PM

Comments

Hi all,Ron/alcoholic;Kathy D. Thank you very much for takimg the time to care and share.Already I feel A little less lonely.I can't get to A f2f tonight but I will call my sponser.I,like most of I'm sure, had only one way to deal with ANGER-Alcohol. If anybody has an other way PLEASE share with me. The fact that total strangers with a common problem try to help each other is truely amazing isn't it?? Wishing you all another 24hours. Ron G.


Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 03:35 PM

Comments

Nov 4, 2002 HALT, hunger was a big trigger for me, so was loneliness. Alcohol could take both of those away in a matter of minutes. It worked and it worked fast. But the real hunger was for meaning in my life and the real loneliness was from not knowing who I was. Alcohol worked fast on those too. Then, over a period of several years, the booze stopped working (thank GOD) and I was forced to do something other than run and hide. Through the experience, strength and hope of other drunks I am turning to face the fear and looking inside to discover who I am. I need to do more service work and get out of myself entirely, or at least try to do so. I am far from perfect, but I do feel I am making progress. ((Robert S)) The first person who ever told me to stop drinking was the doctor I went to for stomach acid. 10 years later I quit drinking. ((Lynn R)) I white knuckled it for 5 months and then had a relapse. I learned that I had never REALLY surrendered my will and my life over to God. When I did, the cravings went away. I consider that a miracle. When I gave up trying be "strong" and handle it myself, I gained strength through God. Now my life seems manageable. Although I still have a long way to go, I am confident I am on the right path. Peace


Member: david f
Location: usa
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 05:00 PM

Comments

This sobriety is killing me, i keep looking for something to take its place but when you've had a habit fot 25 years its very hard to replace.One thing i do miss in paticular is sex. I would often pick up women in bars, that way i could have sex without any ties but now i don't know where to look. I won't pay for it and i wont join a dating club so where the hell do i start. I am not a pervert just someone who enjoys sex on a regular basis. How do other alcoholics manage it when they put down the drink? PRETTY DESPERATE MALE WITH A HEALTHY APPETITE.


Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 05:00 PM

Comments

Hi Bob here, alcoholic. One of the most often asked questions I get from those I sponsor is how do I "HALT"? The answer is in the book. The answer is what no one wants to talk about or do..the 12 steps. NO...I don't mean talk about them...I mean the book says take the steps and do it NOW ! Why? because our problem isn't alcohol. It never was and never will be. It is a symptom of our problem. The 12x12 says it perfectly. We have never been one of a family or a group and we have no coping skills. Our self-centeredness makes us get angry since on one can or will ever meet our constant demands. We don't know how to be sober, (caring, thoughtful) so we "must" look at why. How can anyone love us if we are always angry or if we act scared or if we are forever guilty and filled with shame? We keep them at a distance and wonder why we are lonely and alone? We fear them seeing our "truth". I strongly suggest each person wanting sobriety to ask yourself..."how can I get sober and stay sober" by just sitting in a room and talking about it. Dr. Bob and Bill W. did it the old fashioned way...they worked for it with guidance. THEN they carried the message of AA's success. I pray you all gain the courage and desire to get and stay sober through the Big Book and the program of AA which is the 12 steps. God Bless you all.


Member: ANN Q.
Location: HESWALL ENGLAND
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 05:42 PM

Comments

Ann-alcoholic.Thanks to everyone for their wisdom and for keeping me sober.To Lynne R. and Dave,I could feel your despair and loneliness when I read your comments.You are not alone, we have all been there;you are doing pretty well to come on line and be able to express yourselves.Lynne instead of thinking of a day at a time, try an hour at a time you may find this a little less daunting. Dave maybe you are projecting too much,we as alcoholics have done this throughout our drinking lives and it hasn't got us anywhere, except places no sane person would want to go. Instead of worrying what you may lose, hold tight to what you still have.Forget about 90 meetings in ninety days,(where was that mentioned in the big book?)just keep it simple no big plans, just for today. Somebody said earlier 'stick with the winners'.How I loathe that saying.Everybody who has commented here is a winner, and there are a great many still suffering alcoholics all over the world inside and outside the rooms, who I believe are winners too. Thanks for your support and words of wisdom, thanks for keeping me sober. love to you all, you alcoholic friend ann.x


Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 06:51 PM

Comments

To Lynne R., Lonnie and every other newcomer to this program, all my prayers. The start of anything big is difficult, daunting and frustrating. But keep trying to keep in mind the prize, the end result - being happy joyous and free. It is a miracle unfolding every day, you will begin to notice things you have never noticed or paid attention to before. There are many wonderous things in this life that alcohol has blocked from our view. Give the miracle a chance to happen. Love to all.


Member: Lucy R.
Location: Central New York
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 06:51 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. Lucy R. here - alcoholic. First time here - my best friend told me about this site a few weeks ago and I finally found the courage tonight to check it out. Hadn't planned to stay long, but instead I read every post ... and dried my tears more than once in the process. There's a drink sitting here on the desk next to my computer - it's now 6:45 p.m. and this is my fourth drink since getting home from work at 4:30. I will most likely have two or three more before I eat my dinner, lay out my clothes for work tomorrow, let my dog out and lock up for the night. I am a 52-year-old grandmother of two beautiful little girls and #3 is on the way, my daughter and her family live very close to me, and my life is unbelievably blessed and bountiful. My son isn't yet married, but he is a handsome, intelligent and successful CPA in a big city far away and has a beautiful young woman in his life whom we all love. I am twice divorced; married 17 years the first time and 10 years the second time, I have a fabulous and secure job with phenomenal benefits, I am relatively healthy, I go to church every Sunday, walk every day at least a mile and longer on weekends, I volunteer whenever I can, spend countless hours improving my home (a 100-year-old beauty that is solid as a rock) and still I drink every night - with very few exceptions. I have often driven a few blocks when I shouldn't have (and I know that's just as bad as driving 10 miles).I love early mornings more than anything else, yet I "lose" so many of them because I am too weary to get up when the alarm goes off. I desperately want this fog to clear, and I have thought about AA - but I live in a teeny, tiny town and the thought of going to a meeting where people I have known all my life would see me going into that room, or see my car, is just too overwhelming for me. You all seem to be such genuine and wonderful people ... I can't believe I had the courage to say all of this to total strangers. Thanks for being there.


Member: Karen P.
Location: Reidsville, GA
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 07:33 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Karen, alcoholic. At the moment I am lonely, hungry and tired, but sober. It will be nine months in December. I feel good about my sobriety but concerned that I can't get to many meetings (I work in a small town that has none) but am in Atlanta on weekends and go then. So y'all are my resource and my support in between f2f meetings, and I do so appreciate your being here. Talk to you tomorrow.K


Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 08:44 PM

Comments

Hey! Chris H., alcoholic here. (((Lucy R.))) I can totally understand your fear of going to a meeting in a small town...I faced that fear myself only to find nobody there when I finally decided to go!!! May I recommend an online AA website to you? It's a woman's AA online group and I've only just discovered them myself. They are a wonderful group of ladies and there are online meetings there every day of the week but Saturday. The address is http://www.aaserenity.com/ You might go check that out. On the subject of HALT...the two that give me the most trouble are anger (which I have too much of pent up inside) and tired....I'm always tired! And don't those two really mess with our heads as alcoholics?? I'm working the steps and am ready to do my fifth step (as soon as I find someone to talk to f2f) and then I think some of that anger will be gone. On being tired I'm thinking I may just need 9-10 hours of sleep right now. That seems to be the case anyway! (((((Bette))))) you will be in my prayers. I lost my brother 10 years ago Oct. 23rd but it was to suicide. A loss of a loved one that leaves before they are supposed to it very hard to cope with. It will be better if you can do it sober and you know that. We're here for you. Well, I've rambled enough...10 days sober you all. With God's help, we'll get through Danny's doctor appt. in good shape tomorrow and I'll have another 24.


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 09:29 PM

Comments

HI, Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. Not a newcomer but posting in the spirit of our preamble. H.A.L.T. is an important lesson for those early in Sobriety. Not a bad lesson for us old F**ts either. I had to learn how to to care of myself. Eat properly, get proper rest. I had to find out the different between being alone and being lonely. I had to learn how to deal with my angers. A home group takes care of most of the lonely part. The Fourth Step showed me how silly my angers were. At least most of them. My last boss understood this concept. He insisted that we take our breaks and that we take our lunch hour. On top of that he told me that if I should get a bit stressed out working with a difficult patient just say excuse me, I will be back in a couple of minutes and just slip outside and take a minute vacation. Works like a charm. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill email: az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Simone S.
Location: San Jose
Date: November 04, 2002
Time: 11:39 PM

Comments

Hi, Simone, Alcoholic. I am visiting my mother out of town and I am doing this online meeting. I feel incredibly guilty for not attending a regular, formal meeting physically. I made a commitment to do at least 90/90. I am getting the same if not more by reading the postings but still feel a sense of guilt.


Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 12:06 AM

Comments

Hi everybody.. Lou/alcoholic here. Day 16 and feeling pretty good. For all the new comers f2f mtgs are definately the way to go. Try to make as many as you can even if you don't share.. just sit and listen. You will find that many of our peers have similar stories that we can relate to. This to me has been a greaty help. It happens to be the first time i've heard about HALT but after reading this weeks post it seem to be a good philosophy to carry through with... My best wishes to you (((Betty))) you are in my prayers...I hope that someday soon you find the strenght to stop drinking all together. I wish all of you a SOBER DAY.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 06:02 AM

Comments

Good morning everyone. Chris H. my thoughts will be with you today. It so great of you to check in on us and give support even when you are going through a tough time yourself. Simone, please don't beat yourself up over doing an online meeting instead of a real one. At least this is a good step and if it is helping you stay sober for now then there is no reason to feel guilty. Lucy R. welcome. Your life story could almost be my own. I have a nice home in a nice suburban town, two great kids, a secure job and will be celebrating my 25th wedding anniversary next week. Yep, I have it all, yet like you I start drinking as soon as I enter the door most days and am easily on my third or fourth drink by dinner time. I can have up to eight drinks by bedtime many nights. And why? I just don't know. But thanks to these online meetings I am 7 days sober today, and counting....I hope! Thanks everyone for the support.


Member: Mike W
Location: Hillsdale M i. USA
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 08:57 AM

Comments

Hi. I'm Mike and I'm a gettin' better alcoholic. I think Balance is the key to this HALT thing... I can get too Full,complacent,allow far too many peoplein my life tugging me in different directions,and just plain desire far too much "rest" to the point of neglecting my Responds Ability . When I turn My life and will over to a Power Greater than myself He has shown me over time to give me CAPABILITIES greater than I had in my "old self.. Oops ,Got a call to action ..Gotta go .. Thanks for helping me to stay sober!!!


Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 11:35 AM

Comments

Hi, everyone. DaveP alcoholic.Feeling much more positive after my monday nite meeting .Heard two old timers telling their stories , and they sounded so much like me i thought they had a camera crew following me around for the past ten years. Lucy, let me tell you thanks for checking in. And please keep coming back. Posting on this site helps you and it helps everyone else too. In some ways all of our stories are SO similar. I am a father of 4 great kids, have a terrific wife, and am a very respected proffessional in a small town. I'm also an alcoholic, and (as the serenity prayer says), i can't change that.oops that was last week's topic.) The thought of going to an f2f (face to face)AA meeting was too scary to even THINK about(check out last week's meeting here if you can 'cause we talked about this a lot). But as a very well spoken member of our group pointed out, seeking help for a problem that EVERYONE else in the room has, is a lot less embarassing than having your name in the paper for DUI (of course he said it a lot more forcefully and elegantly than i am doing here, but you get the idea). Anyway my point is that i DID eventually gather up the nerve to make that terrifying walk through the doors of AA. Now i am no longer afraid of it. If i see someone i know, i shake their hand smile at them and say "it's good to see you" I PROMISE you they will welcome you openly and will help you. And you know what else, Lucy? Don't be so selfish....they NEED you as much as you need them. That's the best part, we're not alone , we're all in this together. But if you decide to stay with online meetings like this one , that's fine for now, and eventually you will see from all the articulate intelligent people who continue to impress me on this wonderful site, that f2fs are definitely worth the "risk". Have a great and sober day , friends, and ANN Q and Bill P. thanks a lot!!!


Member: Tammy
Location: MN
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 12:53 PM

Comments

Good Morning,I am Tammy Alcoholic,sober for 9 days.first posting, I have been reading your postings for 1 week now and find them very helpful, have been to 2 meetings and am seeking out a sponser. I have alot of support from my husband and want to despritely stay sober. Over the years I have learned to deal with most problems through drinking,small and big... It became normal for me. I have had both parents and a brother die over the past 6 years,a divorce and many job loses. I need to learn to deal with life sober.I will admit the thought of going through life without the crutch of alcohol scares me.But I am willing to take the journey whatever it takes.I know what is at steak, I want to LIVE all the days of my life, Thanks for all your sharing, it is nice to know that we are not alone.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 02:06 PM

Comments

Dave P - Thanks for the analogy of the DUI. You're right, a DUI would be much more embarrassing (and harmful) than walking through the doors of any AA meeting. I know that in my case, the biggest thing standing between me and recovery is my Ego. Thanks for being here, and by the way, you sound great! Tammi - Thanks for coming in! I'm convinced that the "WE" in this program and the fact that we are not alone in this, are main reasons why this program works. This disease called alcoholism is deadly serious and "WE" all care deeply about each other. Hang tough and make as many meetings as you can. They work! We all need a sponsor, but don't worry, the sponsor will come in God's time. Peace, and thanks to all of you for another sober day.


Member: carmen I
Location: brookhaven pa.
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 02:44 PM

Comments

Hello all carmen I and I am a greatfully recovering alchoholic h.a.l.t we have all been there it is just how we deal with it .anger has always been a part of my charicter defects i never talked to people and kept stuff bottled up inside till i exploded! now i have a.a and the last 4 and a half years have been great! we have a great program that i love dearly last night i went to a meeting the topic was resentments it felt good to have that topic where you can assess your feelings.well i hope everyone has a happy and sober day KEEP COMING BACK !


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 04:17 PM

Comments

If you have not yet gotten to a face-to-face meeting, I pray that you will do so. For Robert S. and Lucy R. – I go to meetings because I cannot stay sober by myself. The proof of my alcoholism is not the things I have lost because of my drinking, but rather that I was unable to stop when there was a reason to stop. I was fortunate not to lose material things, health, or relationships because of my drinking (YET). But when I told myself I wasn’t going to drink, I would drink anyway. And after I started drinking, I had no desire to stop drinking until I woke up the next day miserable. If you have reason to stop drinking and find yourself unable to stop, you may be alcoholic. War stories of terrible losses due to drinking are optional, but may be awaiting you. The second section of stories in the Big Book, “Alcoholics Anonymous”, tells the stories of alcoholics who were able to stop drinking and stay sober before a lot of losses in their lives. Might be worth a read. Thanks to all of you for your comments, as you are helping us stay sober, too. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 04:46 PM

Comments

Greetings to Everyone. Chuck my husband &I read from the Big Book again this morning. He works in the evenings so right now this is working the best for him. It is even harder for him to open up to others. We also read about how to play the Game of Life, interesting material. 8 days without drinking or using sugar as a replacement for my unbalanced behavior. I am eating better, feeling some anger, feeling some loneliness, and feeling less tired every day. Going to a meeting tonight, my second one. I am still in the mode where I try to talk myself out of it. Fear leave me now. Many smiles and laughter to all :)


Member: ANN Q.
Location: HESWALL ENGLAND
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 04:50 PM

Comments

Hi-Ann again, most of you are saying 'Goodmorning' while I am saying 'Goodnight'.Glad to hear that your meeting went well Dave, I have always found that AA rooms are the only place that I feel completely at ease.Don't get me wrong initially I didn't want to be there, but now I know it's the best 'club' I ever joined, and I have a life membership.You sound so well - GREAT!!!! Maureen- you are not alone, I need you. I need you to keep me sober,as I need everyone else here.It is hard,but keep going and keep checking in.Everyone is with you. Love to you all,goodnight. ann.xxx


Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 08:17 PM

Comments

((Lucy R.)) It really took me back a few 24 hours when I read your post. I too had it all, everything anyone could want, yet I drank every day. I barely ever missed work, did all the things for my kids like scouts etc, most of the time with a hangover. I had a wonderful life but I couldn't stop drinking. You and I aren't bad people, we are sick people. Alcoholism is a disease, not a choice. We do have a choice to give ourselves a chance at a whole and decent life, that choice is AA and our Higher Power whom I chose to call God. Keep coming back, we will love and understand you. You are not alone, we all have the same disease. God Blessings and strength to you all.


Member: Karen P.W
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 09:41 PM

Comments

Hi, Karen, alcoholic, checking in again. My sponsor is preparing to kick me in the butt to get me started on the fourth step. I keep obsessing about the third. She wants me to move on anyway. Any thoughts? I can't make myself develop a personal relationship with a higher power, underline the "make". I believe a higher power could restore me to sanity, but I don't really have one. Hope all of you are well. I am pleased with my sobriety, just not making progress on the steps. Any input would be appreciated.


Member: Sarah
Location:
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 09:43 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. I'm a college student living in an environment where it is acceptable and expected to go out and get drunk a few times a week. I grew up an an alcoholic home. My dad is in AA and has been sober for 7 years. I swore to myself up and down as a kid that I would never let alcohol control my actions. I've had a good time partying for the last few years but lately I feel like my drinking is out of control. My close friends have approached me. I act in embarassing and scary ways that I would never act when sober. I'm scared but I want to try and get help now before the problem progresses. I don't want to walk the same road my dad did. I don't want to hurt the people I love. My dad often reminds me to HALT...I usually don't feel hungry,angry,lonley or tired except sometimes after a long,hazy weekend of drunken nights. Thanks for listening.


Member: Eve S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 10:33 PM

Comments

Karen you are sabotaging yourself by saying you can't make yourself. Try saying I can or I will believe in a higher power greater then myself under grace. If you affirm it enough it will become your reality. You know like the Serenity prayer, the more you say it, the more it becomes your way of life. Remember the spoken word is very powerful.


Member: Dorine DK
Location: LB,Mb,Can.
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 10:40 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Dorine and I am an alcoholic. Gee, its great to acknowledge that on line. 20 dry days old and feeling....some moments...okay; at times...Hungry...Lonely (similar to davidf)...Angry(usually tied in with feeling sorry for myself) and right now...really Tired because I've discovered this wonderful use of technology and I've been on line for 4.5 hrs. I hope to hear from "We" again. Good Night.


Member: Vinny G.
Location: Iowa
Date: November 05, 2002
Time: 11:50 PM

Comments

Hello, my name is Vinny--just for clarification, I am a girl. Anyway, I'm an alcoholic/junkie in college right now. I have been sober since last Thursday--which ended a three month outrageous binge of partying. I finally went to my first AA meeting on Saturday. Over the last few months, my drinking got more and more excessive. I found myself drinking all day long, never wanting to stop. When I would get horrendous hangovers, I would force myself to drink even if I didn't want to because I could not live without alcohol. It is very hard for me to quit drinking. I just turned 21 and am in college. I have built my life around alcohol here at school. Stopping the drugging and drinking will be hard because all of my friends do it. Some of them have successfully quit, and I guess that I needed there lead to have enough courage to do it on my own. Last month, because of my drinking, I put myself in a situation where I was raped, my best friend had to call the cops on me and I spent a night in jail, and one of my friends had to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. I am sick of this drama--so I decided to change my life. I have to remember to HALT because life could easily turn on me at any minute, and I don't want to use alcohol to escape anymore. Thanks for listening


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 09:09 AM

Comments

Good morning everyone. It's rainy and windy here but a good day anyway because I woke up without a hangover! It's good to feel good. Sarah and Vinny: welcome, glad you are both here to get help. You two are too young to be going through this hell, please get counseling at school or where ever you can before you go through anymore of it. I'm know college campuses have many free services available for you to access. Vinny, I am particularly worried about you. You have been through a terrible ordeal having been raped and are likely to suffer from post traumatic stress syndrome. I cannot emphasize enough how much you will need couneling to cope with this. Please, please, please get help, and ask your parents for help too. They will be more understanding than you think. Please keep in touch, both of you.


Member: Connie S.
Location: Riverside, N.J.
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 09:48 AM

Comments

Hi evryone, Connie, alcoholic. HALT is me being responsible for me today. Its listening to my body, not my mind. AA has taught me to realize I don't know better that everything resource we need to survive, God has already instilled in us. When to eat, when to sleep, its a quick checklist for me when I find myself off the beam. This is such a simple program. I loved the line used by Vinnie, "I got tired of all the drama." That was totally my life. Today I don't invite drama in. Today I talk to another alcoholic. Today I get out of my own way. Today.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 09:49 AM

Comments

Chris H. Haven't heard from you yet, I'm worried that it may not be a good sign. Certainly understandable if you don't feel like sharing now, but please know that our thoughts are with you.


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 12:53 PM

Comments

Hi All, Somber rainey day out. Pretty mellow and a good day for chicken soup and buscuits...Mmmm. I agree with Connie this program is wonderful in its simplicity. I have been thinking of HALT this week and I keep coming back to the thought of my children as toddlers. They could not talk yet but they had a way of conveying misery when they were hungry and tired. Even babies know when its time to eat and sleep but us adults fight those basic needs. If left untended we get angry and drive away those around us leaving us mad and lonely. It is easier for me to lose it when I am in a bad place. I'm trying to take better care of me so I have the reserves to fight off a drink. So far so good and I have not wanted a drink yet. I know it will happen eventually and I hope I am ready when it does. I don't want to go back there, ever. I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired. Time to live a little for a change... Kelly


Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 04:02 PM

Comments

Good Wishes to everyone today. Stay Sober, it truly is freedom. Bette, my thoughts are with you. Think Green Tea. Many Angel Blessings.


Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 08:27 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Karen, alcoholic. Thanks Eve, for your input. I guess I need to get out of my way, but I'm not sure how. I do, however, like the serenity prayer very much. But I am sober but not progressing. Maybe I get out of my way by acting as if there were a God and perhaps it will come to be. I don't know. I can't go to a f2f meeting this week, and I am not happy about that. I correspond with my sponsor by e-mail and sometimes messenger chat, and that helps. Thanks for being there.


Member: Pete T
Location: NY
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 09:50 PM

Comments

Hi I'm kinda new,havent drank in 2 days i'm goin thru anxiety fears extreme sadness in august i celebrated 10 mnths chose drinking chose self destruction been bk n forth since tonight i had felt ill mostly with humiliation of going bk AGAIN thought i'd try this tonight and go bk to my normal meeting tomorrow i was on a routinre of 1 ta 2 aday thanks,


Member: b .happy
Location: pa
Date: November 06, 2002
Time: 11:19 PM

Comments

spankin' the weasle helps you sleep or in your case karen from S.D stroking tour clit


Member: Eve S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 12:38 AM

Comments

Karen, get out of your way or don't that is up to you. A power higher than yourself is working through you or you would not be sober. How about thinking it is your higher self or call it your superconscious. I prefer The Great Spirit or Infinite Spirit. Blessings


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 02:16 AM

Comments

Hi Karen, Just have to tell you something. Tonight at a BB meeting the story talked about the persons higher power as the 'Omnipresent'. It means in all places at all times. I believe that everyone has a soul or spirit and our HP is always around us. Do you believe you have a soul or are just here? Are we divine beings/creations? Is it just the HP beliefs that you are unsure of? I would like to help if I can. I am still pretty new in AA but there is a lot of long term sobriety in my meetings. I hear quite a bit of 'fake it till you make it' and 'when in Rome do as the Romans do'. It may not be what you are looking for but it can only help for now. Prayer has been proven to improve your health. It gets rid of baggage instead of carrying it around. I hope you keep in touch with your sponsor while you cannot go to meetings, I would be lost without them. I know you do not have many in your area but make the ones you can. That's great! Let me know if you have a question about a HP and I will try and find out an answer. Vinney, Please get to counseling if you have been abused. You may be drinking to try and bury that. Congrats on staying sober for a week! Going to AA meetings is the way to go. We have a UNH student in my home group and the college has on campus meetings. Please take care and talk to someone. Pete T. Glad you are back and will go to meetings again. 10 months is great and this was a small set back is all. I went back out once and it took me too long to come back. Some never do and that is sad. AA is a great program and has turned my life around. I have "real" friends now in the program and am starting to get a life which is cool. There is life after drinking! Take care all.... Kelly


Member: Bill L
Location: Rural Oregon
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 03:12 AM

Comments

Hi, Bill here, recovering alcoholic. What a great topic, and it works even after "early" sobriety. I've got about 18 months now and it certainly came in handy the other day. I was out cutting firewood for an elderly neighbor (seriously). I took a break for a ciggie and suddenly thought about how great a beer would taste. I'm serious, since I remember drinking a (single) beer while on break from chainsawing. But this time I laughed at myself and said out-loud "or 6 or 12, those would taste even better." And that was the end of the conscious thought, as I stubbed out the butt and went back to work. But my unconcious was at work still, and after I unloaded that firewood at the house I drove down to the grocery store and bought 2 bags of after-Halloween candy and some soda. I munched and sipped all the way back to the logs pile I was working up. So, for me the mere thought of drinking usually means that one of the HALT's needs some tending to. In this case I was hungry from all the work I was doing. Of course this alcoholic is still figuring out how to eat regular meals, after 15 years of regular liquid meals. If any of you do get that craving for alcohol or pills, stop for a second and try to figure out which of the HALT's you need to tend. And then take care of it. It works great for me, and I don't drink no matter what. Peace and Love


Member: Bill L
Location: Rural Oregon
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 03:37 AM

Comments

Bill here again, posted before I read through all the postings and now I wanted to add a few things. First, I want to thank each and every one of you for having the courage to want to stop drinking. Such a thought was once horrific to me, and I was sure I would die before I stopped drinking. A higher power intervened and I was shown the path to recovery. Second, to Karen of GA, a higher power is whatever you can believe will help you become a better person. For us alcoholics this generally means stopping the drinking, but non-alcoholics also use higher powers. I had a problem with the 3rd step while in "rehab", but after a relapse and the help of my sponsor, I just said the words "There is a power greater than myself, and it can restore me to sanity." That was it, and I started in on the 4th step. They started as just words, but in the past year they have grown in ways I couldn't have predicted. You may notice in my previous post that I do work for people that can't do it themselves. That is the influence of my higher power. Just say the words, do the next step, and you will be amazed. The promises do come true. Peace and Love Bill L


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 05:54 AM

Comments

Good Morning everyone. Thanks Bill L. for your story, it's good common sense for all of us! It also reminded me that I had a question for some of the other members who posted warnings about not turning to sugar as a crutch in early sobriety. Since I am somewhat of a "junk food junkie" too that is exactly what I did to get through the first several days. True, I did gain a couple of pounds by eating a whole box of Ring Dings over three days, but I didn't care, my only thought was "at least it's not alcohol." Once I was feeling better I actually started to exercise again (amazing how much easier it is without a hang over!) ate better and lost the few pounds by the end of the week anyway. So I guess my question for you anti sugar people is: what is the harm if it gets you through the rough spots? Thanks!


Member: David W
Location: NJ
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 07:12 AM

Comments

Hi - I'm David an alcoholic. Sarah and Vinny G., your in the right place. I first went to AA my senior year in college when I was 21. My partying was excellerating and things were happening to me that I didn't like. All my interests seemed to be centered around drinking and smoking pot - I reached a point where I was just sooooo "sick and tired of being sick and tired" that I reached out for help. My Dad had been in AA for about 5 yrs by that point and I was lucky enough to know about AA and to learn that alcoholism is a disease that would have a downward progression if I did not stop my drinking and drugging. I never wanted to drink like my father, but soon after I had some drinking experiences I no longer thought about what happend to my Dad as a result of drinking, I was too busy having fun partying myself -- over time, bad things would happen as the result of my partying and the consequences were getting tougher to accept. When I first went to AA I was really down, I could not see life at my age without drinking - I thought things would be so boring and that I wouldn't be able to have fun anymore, but on the other hand I couldn't see myself continuing down the path that I was on. Thankfully, some how I met wonderful people in AA that gave me a copy of the "big book" and told me to read it(I really like chapter 3 "More About Alcoholism"). In the beginning, these strangers I met at my first AA meeting, would pick me up at my fraternity house and talk with me about how the progresssion of alcoholism impacted their lives as they drove me back and forth from meetings. From reading the Big Book, hearing their stories and knowing that during my drinking career I would frequently want to have just one or two beers but instaed by off on some wild binge that I didn't really ever want to stop and then promise myself that I would never do that again only to do it all over again and again ... got me to the point of my bottom, where I knew in my heart that if I was honest with myself, that the right thing for me to do would be to admit that I was an alcoholic and that AA offered a solution my problem. I could see that AA worked for other people and beleived it could work for me. A funny thing happened, after I was sober a couple years some of my drinking budies and best friends from high school actually went to AA and got sober themselves -- things worked out much differently than I feared they would and I am so gratefull that I was able to stick with AA and stop the downward progression by not drinking one day at a time. The days have added up to over 19yrs at this point. Anyway, your posts brought back memories of my start with AA and I wanted to let you know that while I couldn't stop drinking or control my drinking by myself, with the help of AA I was able to stop drinking and change the direction of my life for the better. Even though life can be pretty tricky for me sober or not, I am so happy that I can look in the mirror and kow that I am honest with myself about my drinking problem. Give AA a chance, go to some meetings, get a copy of the Big Book and read it. Best wishes.


Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 08:52 AM

Comments

Hey you wonderful people! Chris H. the forever alcoholic here. This is just a quick note to let you all know that we still don't know anything about my hubby. He's going for a CT scan on Monday and we'll get the results from doc on Tuesday. I have this great doctor friend that I met online and he put my mind to rest that it's more than likely nothing to worry about. But you know what? If there's something there we'll deal with it one day at a time with God's help. I'm doing okay...had a little relapse so I'm starting over but I learned something from it. Excuses don't mean crap...no matter what is going on in your life you DO NOT HAVE TO DRINK to "make it better" because it just doesn't! I want to welcome some of the new folks too and especially these college kids. I have a Sarah in her first year of college and she drinks some too. Mama is going to have a long talk with her when she's home for Thanksgiving. She doesn't know what I've been going through lately and I sure don't ever want her drinking to progress to the level mine was. Vinny and Sarah there are probably AA meetings on your campuses. Please check into it. They will help save your life. Have a great day you all...I'll check in later!


Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 09:54 AM

Comments

DaveP , alcoholic. quick question for you "veterans" out there. I'm going to AA meetings(which , believe me was a HUGE leap), i've got my big book on it's way, i check in to this site regularly.....why am i still drinking? my wife is losing her patience with me and i don't blame her. suggestions? thanks.


Member: Hamish
Location: Sydney, Australia
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 11:17 AM

Comments

Hi Hamish here. I'm an alcoholic. Dave P , I'm not much of a veteran with only just over a year - but in my case it was not until I had deep down admitted complete defeat - and that, as per step one: I was powerless over alcohol that I began my recovery. Secondly, you have to want it - you have to want this programme - what we have to offer. I will keep this one short but want to say to you well done. Whatever happens Keep comin back! read the big book, go to meetings, ask questions. Seems like you are doing alot of really smart & suggested things. I commend your bravary - (you know what I mean). As for your wife losing patience: in my case I decided to bring my fiance to a meeting so she could also understand a little bit about AA and alcoholics - and ofcourse understand me better. Perhaps, you might like to consider this (just a suggestion) but this worked well for me. Miracles may not occur over night but AA works so keep up the good work and keep comin back. Also, the big book was of great help to me in my very early days.


Member: Gerry G
Location: england
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 11:30 AM

Comments

Sounds to me Dave.P that your stopping drinking for your wife and not yourself.The big book is not your saviour; you are.The big book is only a guide. You must go to as many meetings as possible thats where you will find what your looking for, not the big book


Member: Cheryl
Location: Ca
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 12:01 PM

Comments

Hi Cheryl here, alcoholic. The HALT thing is so true. I had 26 days until last night. I was hungry, tired, angry, exhausted. Also didn't eat anything but sugar yesterday. About 4pm thought "a beer" would be just the thing. That got me started, my mind said another one and then eat dinner, then went to buy a small bottle of vodka and drank that, you know the rest. I didn't pick up the phone, I didn't go to a meeting and that's what happens when you don't use the support group. Today I'm upset with myself, I almost made my 30 days. I only went to one meeting in the 26 I was sober. so, I now know what I need to do. Go to meetings and read these posts every day. Lucy, I am also like you, by the grace of GOD I've not had a DUI, or hit a nasty bottom. Just hangovers, periodic drinking to drunkeness, and concerned with my health. Acceptance, is what I need to work on and surrendering to GOD. Thanks for this site.


Member: Another Dave
Location: NH
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 12:05 PM

Comments

I guess you haven't stopped drinking, Dave, because you....haven't stopped drinking. AA isn't really about stopping drinking, it's about staying stopped. The 'jumping off place' that is talked about in the big book is something we either reach by ourselves, or reach via a higher power when we've completely given up. I went to AA, too, and it didn't work because I just wasn't ready to stop drinking. The good thing about alcoholism is that you can count on it to make your life progressively more miserable, whether the misery is on the inside or the outside. I only know about inner misery and that was god-awful bad enough for me...eventually. But there was a time when I really didn't want to stop drinking, I only THOUGHT I wanted to. Scary, in retrospect, but I'm glad it happened, it brought me to sobriety. My experience was that when I was ready to give up and try anything, that sobriety and the program of AA worked really well. Good luck, and I HOPE YOU KEEP COMING BACK!!!!!!


Member: peter s.
Location: England
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 01:11 PM

Comments

Dave pa... You can never get this thing under control!!!..Understand this simple fact and youve got step one"powerless over alcohol".Best of luck buddy. psiv4@hotmail.com


Member: peter s.
Location: England
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 01:11 PM

Comments

Dave pa... You can never get this thing under control!!!..Understand this simple fact and youve got step one"powerless over alcohol".Best of luck buddy. psiv4@hotmail.com


Member: Gene K
Location: New Jersey
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 03:53 PM

Comments

Hi all,Genie,I am an alcoholic.Have been here before during last few months,but am praying that today will be the first day,that I can say I did not have my usual glass of wine.Make that 5 0r 6 glasses!Was going to AA meetings last year-an open one was a great meeting.Then I went to a :women" only meeting.Was turned off after 3 meeting by their unfriendliness and cliques.Or maybe I imagined that??lolWill try again.I am also a C Gambler.Have been attending on line meeting for that addiction.Have a great sponsor,and feel comfortable about progress there.Working on step4--which may take forever.I am a 78 yr.old.mother of 3 and grandmother of 8--adorable grankids.ages 5 to 14.I do not drive at night-that lets out GA meeting.All, but one are at night..Guess that's enogh rambling for now-will get back to overdosing on Lemonade:) genie


Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 04:08 PM

Comments

Hey Everyone, another day without drinking. I have 10 days now living freeeeee. Still of course dealing with my bagage but clear to really look at it. I am working on controlling the need to sugar binge. My husband and I again read from the Big Book, Great stories. We read the story about how much one man had spent on his drinking. I can honestly say my husband and I have spent as much if not more, reality check. I hope everyone is doing well. The Halt message has really helped me this week. Love and Light


Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 04:09 PM

Comments

Thanks Hammish, GerryG, DaveNH, and PeterS. i think i understand.And Gerry ,sure i want to quit for my wife, she doesn't deserve a husband who's a drunk. But i'm not happy being a drunk either, and my health and happiness are suffering because of the booze. Getting my butt to a meeting tonite, and i will keep coming back. I am not gonna give up!! No way. Thanks a lot , you guys are terrific!!


Member:
Location:
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 07:01 PM

Comments

Kathy in Mass: The crutches Marsha mentions is a little bit of booze here and a little more there, by no means does she refer to sugar in the form of Ring Dings. Please eat another Ring Ding.


Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 10:40 PM

Comments

For me personally sugar was my first drug of choice as a child, the refined type that is. I know that behavior and physical craving was a sign. I was of course too young to understand that. I think if it gets you through the hard times definately go for it. I am working on controlling so it does not trigger my need for alcohol. Ring Ding Away. Maybe we can go live at Willie Wonka's Chocolate Factory? That would be the life. Why do they call Alcohol Joy Juice when it makes you feel miserable?


Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: November 07, 2002
Time: 10:46 PM

Comments

Hi all.. Lou S. here. Just wanted to say .. The best of luck to you Dave P Get as much as you can from your f2f mtgs.We are all behind you..


Member: dawn
Location: southern oregon
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 12:03 AM

Comments

i'm at 81 days and i'm finding it more diffcult right now then it was to stop. i was going to meetings everyday now this week i've only gone to 2 cause i just want to forget i have a problem any advice would be appricated.


Member: Leslie C.
Location: Federalway, Wa.
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 12:21 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, I haven't been on the computer for over a month. I had some bad news a few weeks back regarding physical issues. I have also been in a lot of physical pain due to fibromyalgia, deg. discs, liver probs, and some heart probs. But i have used very little medication, and am happy to say I still have my sobriety. I will have 60 days on the 19th of November. I have been attending as many meetings as poss., transportation is a big problem for me. I just try to remember its not my will, its Gods, and take it one day at a time. Take care to all, thanks for letting me share. And thankyou for my sobriety.


Member: Leslie P.
Location: Colorado
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 02:09 AM

Comments

Crutches are a little bit of booze here and there? Is that safe for an alcoholic? I thought that being "sober" meant to give up alcohol entirely, I had never heard of drinking tiny amounts every day in order to keep one's body out of the baseline. If it works, I'll give it a try. I'm trying sobriety for the umpteenth time now, so if the crutch theory works for some of you, I'll try it myself. Personally, I've always thought that totally abstaining from alcohol right off the bat is very 'shocking' to an alcoholic system, and I get horrid shakes and headaches when I quit. This time I am bound and determined to make it.


Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 05:52 AM

Comments

Thanks everyone for the clarification on the sugar issue. It didn't occur to me that the members were talking about the "sugar" in alcohol, but I tend to take things literally! Dawn, I wish I could say I had 81 sober days by now. You show real strength of character. I am on day 10 today and yesterday was my toughest day yet. I had a minor tiff with my husband and afterward felt a very strong urge to grab a drink and just go for it. I guess that would be under "anger" in the HALT nomogram! But I took a few deep breaths and talked my way through it. I reminded myself that I was giving up alcohol for myself, not because of anyone else, and I went through all the reasons in my mind: the hangovers, the guilt and shame etc, etc. After a while the craving passed and I was VERY glad that I did not give into it. I also bought myself 4 really good books to read this week to keep my mind busy. Also started a scrapbook project for Christmas, as boredom I've discovered is another reason I tend to drink. Anyway it's good to wake up feeling good again today and not hung over. Chris H. I was so glad to see your posting. I will be keeping my fingers crossed for you and your husband. Have a good day everyone.


Member: David F
Location: USA
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 07:02 AM

Comments

Leslie P don't kid yourself its ok to have a little shot of booze each day. Your brain and body will convince itself your ok to do so. the next thing you know a little will turn into a lot and you'll be back to square one. Don't do it the physicall aches and pains will cease to exist, its the mental pain thats harder to deal with. TOTAL ABSTANANCE IS THE ONLY WAY.


Member: David F
Location: USA
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 07:03 AM

Comments

Leslie P don't kid yourself its ok to have a little shot of booze each day. Your brain and body will convince itself your ok to do so. the next thing you know a little will turn into a lot and you'll be back to square one. Don't do it the physicall aches and pains will cease to exist, its the mental pain thats harder to deal with. TOTAL ABSTANANCE IS THE ONLY WAY.


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 08:29 AM

Comments

The "crutches" of a little alcohol is NOT a rememdy in AA. In AA, we talk about total abstinence from alcohol. In my opinion, the theory of a homeopathic remedy of small amounts of alcohol is quite dangerous to most alcoholics, so I do not recommend it. In the Big Book, The Doctor's Opinion likens alcoholism to an allergy to alcohol which results in the phenomenon of craving when alcohol is present. Small amounts of alcohol may just trigger off the craving, resulting in much greater consumption. Hope this helps to clarify. If not, maybe somebody else will jump in to say it better. Or if you have further questions, you can also ask questions on the Cofee Pot page. They really are some good people on that page, even if sometimes a bit nutty.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 10:29 AM

Comments

Leslie P. - Denial is at least 50% of this disease we call alcoholism. Don't fall for the theory of just a little bit each day. If you are alcoholic, it will ultimately lead to more and more. You will find yourself right back where you were miserable. The same place that brought you here in the first place. Just know that "WE" are here to help you, but please don't take that little first drink if you want to gain sobriety. Peace and love to all of you for keeping me sober today.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 10:37 AM

Comments

Dave P. - How was your meeting last night. I've been watching your posts and like your determination to get sober! Hang with it, and know that we are all in your corner. Dawn - Never forget that you have a problem. I'm six months sober (Thanks to God and this program) and go to a meeting every day. I need the meetings if nothing else to remind me that I am an alcoholic and the fellowship is there is help each and every one of us. This program is simple, but no one said it was easy. Hang tough and make as many meetings as you can. They will help you through the tough times when you want to drink. We're all with you. Peace.


Member: Grateful Alcoholic
Location: AA WORKS
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 10:54 AM

Comments

Dawn from Oregon, it's difficult at first BUT it does get better- AA works. You are doing well at 81 days! The serenity prayer + talking my problems with AA members was how I got through the tuff times. HERE IS A MESSAGE FOR ALL:If you are an alcoholic you will not make it alone! isolating & denial was a big problem for me.It does get better and AA WORKS!"this too shall pass" .one day at a time don't pick up the first drink and go to meetings.


Member: SHANNON H
Location: MISSISSIPPI
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 11:03 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Shannon and I'm an alcohlic and an addict. I would just like to say thank you to Kelly for the reinforcement last night. I know what I need to do. This program is not easy, but it is almost too simple. I am very complex, and my life tends to be also. I must just stay out of myself. Maybe that will help my selfish neediness. As far as the topic, I have 4 months of sobriety (july 17)and I have come across many different stages of denial. My magic magnifying mind has built layers of rationalization, justification, and excuses for my addiction, and just plain life. I must remain humble and openminded, and never decieve myself, which I'm good at. Everyone have a great day!


Member: Another sober person
Location: In gratitude
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 01:03 PM

Comments

Hi, Dave, you got me right in the heart when you wrote "I'll never give up". It was exactly the opposite for me. I gave up. I totally gave up the fight to remain sober, 'cause I just couldn't do it. So wierd, that's when I started my sobriety. I know we're all different, but I wanted to tell you what happened to me. Fighting the alcoholism didn't work. Giving in to the alcoholism worked. That's when AA started making sense 'cause I could do the things that other people did to stay sober and one day at a time, it's working for me. But nothing worked until I gave up. There're lots of paradoxes. Good luck.


Member: Steve I
Location: Sheffield
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 06:40 PM

Comments

Hello. I am an alcoholic but don't believe in god in any way shape or form.(being an ex christian this is no longer an option for me). I need something like this board, but how could it help me given that Ican't embrace the 12 steps? Steve


Member: Bobbie H
Location: CA
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 07:29 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Bobbie, Alcoholic; The sharing and caring in this online meeting is very inspiring. Genie - What a delight to hear from you...78 and not giving up on sobriety. Maybe if you call your Central Office there may be someone who can get you to a meeting at night. F2F meetings do have personalities in it but if you hang in there..you will be one of us. I used to feel that way a Women's meetings but had to look inside myself and go anyway. You never know what someone will say that will change your life. The judgements I made about them, in almost all cases turned out to be wrong. Go figure? 15 years of sobriety and I am still learning. What an adventure!


Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 07:34 PM

Comments

hey dudes, daveP the alcoholic from PA checking back.Thanks BillP, unfortunately my job does come with its share of emergencies, and last nite i was needed elsewhere during meeting time. that sucked, but i know there are lots of meetings out there. my next meeting wont be till monday i'm afraid , unless i can fit one in tomorrow sometime(in between working and watching my four kids while my wife is at school) but i guess if i want it badly enough i will get there somehow. i hope you all are well and sober this evening. oh, and to ASP, now i'm COMPLETELY confused (only kidding, i'm pretty sure i understand how you mean that) see you all later.


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: November 08, 2002
Time: 08:32 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. I haven't posted for a couple of months as I was doing what I called "controlled drinking". That's a laugh (not really), it is very sad, but I now believe what some people on this site told me when I said I was trying this (you know who you are). You were absolutely correct and I now have to believe that I am an alcoholic. When I read the posts today, I was amazed. Lucy R, when I read your story I had tears rolling down my face as I can so relate. I am 61 years old and just recently became a grandma for the first time. I am divorced and live alone with my two cats. I do not want to give up drinking as I enjoy a drink in the evening and I can identify with what Robert S said, I have no behavioural problems. I don't drink to excess every night but now and again I do and when I wake up I try to remember why I had that one to many as my stomach painfully reminds me, and I have no answers. I do not know how I can overcome this as I can't imagine my life without my nightcaps. I hope you don't mind me asking Lucy and you can decide whether or not to reply. Do your family say anything about your drinking? If they do, how do you handle it? Genie I wish you the very best (you have a double whammy). Debbie I am so sorry that you lost your son. I almost lost my son when he had an emergency operation but with God's help he pulled through and is doing well. My heart goes out to you. When I was posting before I got some really good advice (didn't take it all I have to confess) but it sure helped to know people were listening and cared enough to respond. I will remember you all in my prayers tonight.


Member: Leslie P.
Location: Colorado
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 02:13 AM

Comments

Thanks for all the advice, everyone. I am STILL going to try the "crutch" system, though, for a while, and see if it works. Thanks, Marsha, for the personal e-mail. I'll give what you said some thought.


Member: ANN Q
Location: Heswall England
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 02:46 AM

Comments

Ann - alcoholic.Goodmorning from rainy old England.Hope you are all well,Pete T. you don't need to be hard on yourself(lets face it there are plenty of others forming queues to do that)just remember its only for one day,just drag yourself up and get to meetings.I know that it is hard after you have slipped, the guilt and shame,the self consciousness of even going through the doors but you are not alone, we have all done that and where else would we find the total understanding and acceptance of what we consider to be our 'failure'. It isn't failure, it is part of our growth as alcoholics. We have to accept totally how cunning this illness is, because if we don't we are not prepared for the next attack,which may be 10 days, 10 months even 10 years.Daily acceptance that we cannot take that first drink is paramount, the rest will follow.I wish you well and remember KEEP COMING BACK!!! ( we need you)Dave P-there is no instant change in your life when we put the drink down, but changes will come.As you recover then your family will recover and grow.You will all become emotionally and spiritually well, it just takes time.Best of luck. ann.xxx


Member: Bill L
Location: NW Oregon
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 02:58 AM

Comments

Steve of Sheffield. I assume you have read Chapter 4 (We agnostics) in the Big Book. If you have a problem imagining a Higher Power (better phrase than "god") then start simple. A group of people can build a house faster than a single person, right? I would have to call that group a "power greater than myself" without assigning any mystical powers to it. Stopping drinking is certainly nothing magical. I did it many times with no magical puffs of smoke. The part of AA that helps me the most is that it teaches me how to live. If you could break down the steps, the first 3 are basically an admission that I've tried almost everything and I still drink, is there another way? Steps 4 through 8 showed me the parts of life I was having a tough time dealing with. The last 4 steps help me get through every day, and are common sense approaches to living a healthy life. If you still don't believe (not worship, but believe) in a Higher Power, just keep saying the words. I did, and I'm another 24 hours sober today. Stay strong folks, no one said it was easy. :-) ps dawn, you don't have a problem. you have a solution. keep using it. :-)


Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 07:07 AM

Comments

Hi all. Bob, alcoholic. "Higher Power". A stumbling block to an alky. So what is one of these things? Any force bigger than we are that can do what we can't. One person I know uses the ocean. It has power he doesn't. Suggest if you are having a problem with this to consider the AA program itself as a higher power. AA can and does get people sober. That power alone can change our lives, teach us how to "live sober" and it even works for many athiests and agnostics. Please don't let a thing stand in your way to taking the steps. Why? Read step 12. "Having had a spiritual awakening as a RESULT OF THESE STEPS (italics mine) we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and practice these principles in all our affairs." Read pages of the Big Book and it too tells us we only need "honesty, openmindedness and willingness". All esentials to recovery from alcohol. The "GOD" thing will come if you work at the steps. Written guarantee. God bless you in your efforts. bobsbunnis@voyager.net


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 07:20 AM

Comments

HALT - I always liked this - don't let yourself get too hungry, angry, lonely or tired because it seems such practical advice. It's something concrete I can do to make sure my resistance to picking up a drink stays strong. When I was drinking I ate very irregularly and not well. When I'm hungry, angry, lonely or tired I feel more like drinking than when I'm fed, not angry, not lonely or rested. Hungry or tired, well those are easy to fix, lonely is harder but I can call someone or write someone and I do. Angry is the hardest to do anything about and unfortunately it's also the biggest trigger for me. The serenity prayer helps there as well as looking hard at why exactly I'm angry. Given time it passes. The big thing is to give it time until the urge to drown it with alcohol is gone, and it does go. Anne C it's good to see you posting again. I could not imagine life either without my after work drink, my fixing-supper drink, my relaxing-after-supper drink etc etc. But I haven't had those for over nine months. Life is far, far better without them. I do not know why AA is working for me but I know that it is so I believe I'll stick with it. Steve I, maybe it would help if you didn't call it god. God always connotes an old man in a dress to me and that's not for me. I call it Maybelline and it's whatever makes the sky beautiful in the morning, the otters swimming in the pond, or the coyote that I saw with its fur lit up in the evening light.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 09:07 AM

Comments

Anne C. Good to see you back! I am one who admonished you about "controlled" drinking. An alky cannot reliably control their drinking, as you now well know. Marsha is just another of those inner voices telling us that it is O.K. to use "crutches". Well, as long as we use crutches, we never walk free! Topic this week is HALT. When the restless, irritable feelings come on, we alcoholics run for the booze. We have learned that response. The point here is to examine which is the issue (of the Hunger, Anger Lonly, tired), and care for it in a different way. What way? Well, AA has taught me answers that work for me. Are they the ones that work for my meighbor at the tables? Some are, others are not. Go to enough meetings, and you too will find answers that work for you. To those who have no time, energy, transportation, (what other excuse do YOU have?), for not going to meetings, did the same excuses keep you from drinking? Of course not! The GOD thing is a good excuse to not stop drinking as well. The others in that meeting, whichever one you are at, at the time, ARE a higher power, after all, THEY are not drinking! I used them for my higher power, as I did not believe, either. Think of your excuses. That is what they are. Both my parents died from the alcohol. I was just expected to follow their path. Well, AA has taught me the way to avoid doing so. For that I am grateful. A thought came to mind recently while discussing what has worked for many who now are not drinking. The thought? I have NEVER known anyone who comitted to, and attended, 90 meetings in ninty days that is not now sober! I did not do so. Thinking about it today, I certainly would have to get what I have now, compared to then. This has become longer than intended. My best wishes, and yes, prayers for those newcomers here struggling to achieve sobriety. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 10:20 AM

Comments

MirandaC. Thanks for the welcome back. I do realise my next step is AA. I hope God will give me the courage to take this step as I have always believed that if I wanted to stop drinking I could do it by myself, but I now know that I cannot. MarkW, thanks for your welcome. You were absolutely right, but I had to find out for myself. I thank you and the others who made similar comments. Now it's my turn to do something about it and take that next step. Please say a prayer for me and help me to be strong enough. This step will be one of the hardest I have ever had to take. I would never have come this far without this site and all the wonderful comments posted here. My heartfelt thanks to everyone.


Member: Genie K
Location: New Jersey
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 12:27 PM

Comments

Hi,Gene here an alcoholic.Today is my 79th birthday.And one I will surely remember.At 4am I was unable to sleep and had a glass of wine(worked for sleeping)but undid my 3 days of NO drinking.Knew a I was doing it I would hate myself now.Back to step 1 and my HP for the courage and resolve to keep going one step and ODAAT striving for recovery.My hubby,who has Alzheimers disease-gave me an anniversary card,was very upset when he realized was not a birthday card.I assured him was the same--an anniversary of day I was born LOL.We'go for an early bird dinner-I donot drive after dark anymore.Then watch fotball and wait for calls from children and grandkids.Hate having to admit my slipup but will!! Have a good weekend all,and thanks for your encouragement.Love, genie


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 01:12 PM

Comments

Hi AnnC, I'll pray for you. Your at the crossroads and making that all important decision. I remember it well. It was easy for me because I let myself go so far. It helped me to do all my own detox planning myself. I started calling the detox in January when I fell down a friends stairs and broke 2 ribs... Ouch, then in February and finally admitted in, in October. I was ready to surrender and never looked back. Now I am working on my 90/90 and am half there. I am taking more responsibility in meetings and feeling apart of my group. Someone said that if you do 90 meetings in 90 days you will stay sober. I believe it! As for controlled drinking as someone reccomends it never worked for me. That sounds like drinking for a non-alcoholic. I couldn't anyway I was too far gone. I had the DT's daily even on my 3 liters of Chardonnay! The closest to controlled drinking was when I worked and did not drink till I got home. Then I became unemployable and it got so much worse. That is when my denial ended and my drinking went crazy. It was like a light switch being flipped. I stopped caring about my appearance, what friends and family and my community thought. They all knew! The only friend I had was another alcoholic who always said that she was an alcoholic but not as bad as me because she could skip a day without getting drunk! She is no longer my friend because she got mad at me over something trivial. It was an excuse because I am sober and she is not. She accused me twice after rehab of going out and the second time she went to the club where I attend AA meetings and asked if I had been there the night before... How sick is that? She wanted me to fail in sobriety so she could say I told you so, that's no friend! I am making friends in the program and they are just the type of friends I need. Happy, sober, supportive and with the commom link of AA. AA is a great program and saved my life. Ann, give it a try, you are stronger than you think! Have a great Saturday all.... Kelly


Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 01:33 PM

Comments

(((GENIE)))HAPPY 79TH BIRTHDAY!!! Just saw your post when I posted mine. Have a nice Birthday and God bless you for having the stamina at 79 to take care of your husband. That is too cute about his card. Enjoy your day!.....Kelly


Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Forestburg
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 01:38 PM

Comments

Hello, another day of sobriety. Happy Birthday Genie. I hope you have a wonderful day. I went through the loss of my Dad to what they called Alzheimers but I think he was just gone due to his drug and alcohol abuse. Alcohol really does take your mind, body and spirit My husband and I plan on attending a meeting on Sunday. Anyway, I plan on attending. I hope he makes the choice to attend. Everyone stay sober this weekend. Blessings to all****p.s. Another Day without a Drink (12) the magic number.


Member: Shannon H
Location: MiSsIsSiPpI
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 03:50 PM

Comments

Hi, Shannon, alcohlic/addict. I attended another great meeting today. Sobriety is a true blessing, when I work my program. I have never felt so alive. My gratitude is forever growing. I'm close to 4 months sober, and it gets better everyday. More and more, my vision clears, I begin to appeciate such simple things and am learning to live in the moment. Life has so much to offer when I'm clean and I have my life prioritized. It is not all doom and gloom anymore. Everything is beautiful,and I have a certian sense of inner peace and serenity. This program has given to me things I never thought were possible. I am completely comfortable in my own skin, and look foward to everyday. Everyday I grow and progress into a more trustworthy, compassionate, and kind individual, which I never dreamed of being. I see the good and not the bad anymore. I am now more optimistic in everything I experience. Life is great. I just can't get too content and comfortable and begin resting on my laurels. When I am in a good, positive space, I can't forget how I got there, and expect to stay there. Anyways, I just wanted to share a more cheerful message. Being clean and working the program provides endless opportunity for someone who was at one time hateful and spiteful and as selfish as I was, someone who once wallowed in self-pity, misery, and desperation and found no meaning out of life. I have meaning now. Sobriety is better than I could have ever imagined. And none of this would have been possible for me without a Higher Power. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 04:53 PM

Comments

Happy Birthday Genie! Please keep coming; don't worry about the slip. Love to you and your husband.


Member: Gene K
Location: New Jersey
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 06:30 PM

Comments

Hi all,Want to thank all forunderstanding and compassion I have felt HERE..Bobbi.anne,and many thanks for birthday wishes Kelly--Lonnie,and Cecilia .Tomorrow is a new day,and with help of my HP I will start this journey again ODAAT.,Love Genie


Member: Liz H
Location: Northwestern USA
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 09:04 PM

Comments

Hello, my name is Liz, grateful member of this terrific club. I went to a differenr meeting today and the framed sayings (Y' know: Live and let live, Easy does it, But for the grace, Think think think, and First things first)were arranged so that if you read the first word of each one, from left to right,it says "Live Easy But Think First." What this means to me is don't be too hard on yourself and always consider the consequences of your actions... before you do them. This helped me not only with not drinking today but also with not spending some money I did not need to spend. THank you all.


Member: Mike W
Location: Hillsdale, Michigan USA
Date: November 09, 2002
Time: 09:48 PM

Comments

Hi, Mike ,Gettin' Better Alcoholic here. Just needed to share a few things after reading all the posts for the week. For me, My perception had been screwed up by a lifetime of getting my information from the wrong sources and embracing some ironious beleifs. This fellowship offers me the opportunity to see things from the vision and time tested wisdom of those that preceeded me in this journey of "obtaining and maintaining a life worth living" .... The way I lived seemed right to me till it became clear to me that it (my life lived "my own way,doing my own thing,,,) Well, it was fruitless,hopeless,pointless,and..well,,What i really needed to make it well was..LESS ,Yup, less of ME and more of ... You fill in the endless possibilities of what you'd have time for if.. if I could just take ME off the throne of MY heart .. And just be willing to embrace the possibilities that could open up for me if I'd LET GO !!!!! All I Know is All I Know ,, But if I'm teachable and can learn to listen and can learn to dicern truth from the lies and deception that has been perpetrated on me I can begin to break free of the chains that keep me bound Because ..AS the wisest man to ever walk this earth said "...the truth will set you free..." Thanks for helping me to stay sober Mike W. plumbfitter2000@yahoo.com


Member: John H
Location: Manchester
Date: November 10, 2002
Time: 04:49 AM

Comments

To John A in Manchester Just to let you know I'm safely into Perth and all is well. Not been to any meetings yet but may tomorrow. Please pass on my regards to the Monday group