Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 26, 2002
Time: 07:37 PM
Chris H. (the Kansas girl) and mega alcoholic here. I blew my sobriety again last night. It was the last time I pray. When I mess up I do it big time and this time I smashed in the back fender of my car hitting something. I don't know what it was...but it was something that didn't give. My alcoholism is not caused by sugar cravings. It's a disease that is going to kill me if I don't get control of it and so that is what I intend to do. The meeting I was hoping to attend didn't exist in my town. I'm to the point where I may just have to accept driving an hour to get to one. I can't do that for 90 days but I'll fill in with online meetings, speaker tapes and such. This site has been a godsend for me as well. Hang in there with me. I need the "we" that is here.
Member: Ron G.
Location: N.S.,Canada
Date: October 26, 2002
Time: 09:43 PM
Hello all,Ron/alcoholic; Kris H. I live a good distance from most meetings in my area. A very wise man asked me one night:If you traveled the distance to get drunk,why would you not travel it to get sober? Kris'f2f meeting work,try hard to get there. Best of luck,we're pulling for you.
Member: Maia G.
Location: St. Louis,MO
Date: October 26, 2002
Time: 10:05 PM
Hi. I'm Maia, and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here. I'm so grateful for this site. All of the comments I've read have been helpful. I will have 30 days on Oct. 30 (God willing) I've been to a few f2f meetings and didn't care for them much. I do plan to go to different ones until I find some that I like. Thanks so much to everyone here.
Member: Coon
Location: Virginia
Date: October 26, 2002
Time: 10:38 PM
I'm a little cranky today; it must be pms. Ladies, I get it so bad! I don't have periods, I have exclamation points! It really interferes with my sobriety....
Member: Dave
Location: pa
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 12:22 AM
Chris in KS, I'm pulling for you big time. maybe you can't do it for ninety days, but maybe you can find a once a week meeting that is within an hour driving distance, just to see the actual faces behind those of us who share this disease with you. I can tell you from personal experience , it makes a big difference. Meanwhile we'll all be here , waiting to help you , hoping you get the help you need, and, from a personal note, getting help from you. You can do it chris . You can't do it alone, , neither can we. We are all in this together , and WE are all here to help each other.
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 06:42 AM
Hi again. Sorry for the double post but KS Chris mentioned speaker tapes and I just discovered this great computer site where you can listen/download them free: http://www.xa-speakers.org/index.php ~~~ Of all places, this site is in Iceland! Thanks.
Member: Tami R
Location: NH
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 08:07 AM
Coon- I think that PMS is a real trigger for sobriety/relapses. It makes us feel crazy. Then we dont want to feel that way and we decide-better drink! Which only makes it worse. I am ready to have all of the female stuff yanked out, cuz it is the toughest time of the month to stay sober.
Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 08:41 AM
Good Morning! Chris H. in KS, alcoholic here. Sure is nice to wake up sober and free from hangover, isn't it? Thanks for all the support you all. I attended an onlin meeting last night and will find one hopefully during the day today. I'm also going to really strive to find a f2f meeting. It's a shame I only have to drive a to town to buy alcohol, but will have to drive to another county to attain sobriety! Maybe someday I can do something about that as well. The speaker tape site I've used is http://www.elmoware.com/ . It's very good and there are many, many tapes to choose from. Just noticed the topic has changed to using the serenity prayer. I have a beautiful computer desktop picture with the serenity prayer on it and printed it out and put it by my desk at work. Now....to get using it! I'll be interested to hear how you all do it. I understand what it's saying, but it's not always easy to "accept" things and it's not always easy to have the "courage to change" and God knows I need to start praying more for wisdom. Thanks you all!
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 09:03 AM
Hi- I'm a first-timer, and, unfortunately, can't say with pride as many of you can, that I've been sober for 24 anythings for a very long time. But I know that I need to do whatever is necessary to get and stay sober. I've been to f2f meetings- years ago- with friends who "had" to go. Yep, the smoky rooms, etc... And they all thought it was a big joke. The bar would be the first place we'd head afterwards. I'm going to my first f2f (if I don't chicken out) tomorrow. It's a women's only one, called Women Without Shame, which might make it easier. Plus this time I'll be going for ME- not to tag along with someone who has no intention of quitting. To get on topic- re: the Serenity Prayer, I have yet to figure out who or what my "God" or "Higher Power" is or will be. I'm not a religious person in the traditional sense. And there's not a single person on the face of this earth I'm believing in right now- esp. not myself. I discovered this site yesterday while looking for mtgs in my area. I've just been reading up till now. It's encouraging to know that I can tune in at 3:00 am when I wake up panicky and read your messages. Hopefully, one of these days, I'll be able to do so without that glass of wine, or whatever, beside me (I put it in a coffee cup till afternoon- now that makes a big difference, huh?) Anyway, I am finding inspiration and encouragement from each message I read from all of you. Thanks and good luck to all of us. P.S. Has anyone read the book "Drinking: A Love Story", by Caroline Knapp?" I've heard great things about it and am going out to buy it today.
Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 10:17 AM
Hi Chris, you're here as well. But do get to a F2F meeting today if possible...and check the other meeting on this site, we have something else in common
Member: Tim H.
Location: Japan
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 11:02 AM
Hi, Chris You could try starting a meeting in your area. I've been to a number of "meetings" where I was the only one there for the whole hour. Keep coming back. It does get better.
Member: Debbie M.
Location: SD
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 12:00 PM
Hi I'm Debbie, an alcoholic.I have been sober 8 weeks and 5 days now. I am so thankful to God and hope that we, my HP and myself, can continue this, I am definately willing to do my part! When I think about how much effort I put into drinking and, comparatively, how much effort I have to put into sobriety and I will take sobriety any day, it comes with now hangovers! Anywho, the serenity prayer reminds me that I don't have to do this alone " . . .to accept the things I cannot change . . . " I don't have to "control" everything in my life and the fact that I can't control drinking and that I am an alcoholic was something born in me and that doesn't make me "bad" or make something wrong with me. It sucks, but I don't have to be alone and neither does anyone. Thanks for "listening."
Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 12:13 PM
Hi Marie here - I haven't posted in awhile - been too busy drinking. Bette, I cracked up about your wine in a coffee cup - I started doing that a few months ago thinking my kids might actually think I'm drinking coffee and not wine - duh, do ya think an 11 and 13 year old can tell the difference!!!?? FC - you'll be proud - I am going to my first F2F meeting Tues at noon - very nervous and also feeling like the party's over. HP is a bit of a problem for me - have to figure that one out. My best to all of you sober and not so sober people out there - your posts keep me going!
Member: Pearl
Location: Salt Lake
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 12:33 PM
Hellow My Name is Pearl I have just one week, of being sober I usualy go in sperts, of sobriety for 6 months, and then relaps again. I wanted to use realy bad the other daywhile out on my bike running errans,I had $70 in my pocket, and passed 3 bars, while down town. I just kept praying, along side the little guy on my sholder, influencing me, to go grab a picture, to unload the stress. and you know what, I made it home with out using, I could not believe the strength with in, that I, and my higher power, was able, to muster up. I just keept saying to my self, you can do this, you can do this,you can be strong, (with help HP that is). But I knew that I had to do the leg work myself and not do the physical.I made it threw that test and survived now on to the next test. I think I'll be O.K. what realy made me feel good is that I made it threw the first hard test, and it has given my hope, for the next time, that I have to face, the fact, that I want to pick up, and drink! Good luck to you hang in there.
Member: Glen
Location: Tx
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 12:45 PM
Over in the Discussion Meeting, there's a topic - a question, actually - "Why do we have to go so far to our bottom?"......The answer is, or was for me anyway, that I didn't start out putting my wine in coffee cups or soft drink cups to hide it...I didn't start out slipping vodka in other drinks because I didn't think others could smell it.....No, if you had told me BEFORE my alcoholsim progressed that someone put wine in a coffee cup to hide it, I'd have said, "Why, thats an alcoholic!!"......Alcoholism sneaks up on you, it made me think hiding my drinking was a normal thing to do....it isn't, and if you're here, it's your choice as to how far down you want to go...
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 01:04 PM
THree cheers Glen.
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 01:35 PM
Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. The Serenity Prayer tells me I need to accept the things I cannot change (That's Other People!). Courage to change the things I can (That's Me!!) and Wisdom to know the difference (That's the Hard Part!). Chris H - Don't think of doing 90 in 90, think of it as going to a meeting just today. Also, once you get there maybe you can find out if others live close to you that you could car-pool with (Talking to someone always makes my trip seem faster) or maybe yiu can start a meeting closer to home like someone suggested. You can even take turns having it at different people's houses. Bette - Try making AA group your HP for awhile. You need something to believe in and when you are new people with long term soberity are good to hang on to. I also like the wine in the coffeee cup. I use to drink Sloe Gin and Orange Juice for breakfast and told myself that was okay because everyone has OJ for breakfast. What denial?? Yes I have read that book. When she talks about rocking as being her first addiction that made me think about what my first addiction was. I have told my sponsor what it was but am still not ready to share it with the world. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 02:30 PM
To Glen - I don't think any of us who hide our drinking thinks it's normal - that's why we post here.
Member: Glen
Location:
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 02:44 PM
I hope y'all will pardon me for posting twice -- Marie, I only meant that hiding it is really only an early step in the progression. It can and does get worse for most alcoholics. But it doesn't have to. Coming here and talking about it is a good start, but posting at Staying Cyber won't keep you sober. Go to that first meeting, don't worry about the HP stuff. Learn there and here HOW we learned to LIVE sober. Come back Tuesday evening and let us know how it went.
Member: Marie
Location: ca.
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 02:59 PM
Glen: Sorry....I'm just a tad overly-sensitive on this subject. Thanks for your response and I'll post after the meeting on Tues!
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 05:17 PM
Hi- Thank you to Marie who shared her own coffee cup story. It's a sad state of affairs when I (we) go to kiss our kids goodbye and turn our faces the other way- just slightly to the left- as if smelling their freshly washed hair, in order to try and hide the smell of alcohol on our breaths. No our kids aren't stupid. Who are we fooling? And best of luck on Tuesday, Marie, at your first f2f meeting. I'll be thinking of you. And thanks also to Kathy for sharing her coffee cup story. And the advice to not worry about the Higher Power thing right now- just to try meetings and the caring people there. And to Glen, no we don't think it's normal- hiding or sneaking our choice of alcohol in mugs and cups and soda bottles- and yes, that's why we're posting here-trying to do something about it! Tomorrow will be my first f2f meeting and I just hope I can make it to 5:30 p.m. and to have the courage to get myself there. Thank you all for listening and for the feedback. Best Wishes to Everyone, Bette
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 07:38 PM
Chris H., Bette and Pearl. Keep coming back! Every day is a new day and all any of us has. I have a few 24 hours yet I am just one drink away from a drunk, just like someone with just 1 24 hour period. All any of us has is a daily reprieve. That's where the 'we' in this program helps us. When we are in a downward spiral, we call for help and get it from someone who is doing well that day. Maybe we turn around and help 'catch' them on another day. Together with God we have a chance. Out there alone trying to fight this powerful disease we don't. The Serenity Prayer is a powerful tool also I still try to use daily. God Bless.
Member: Anna W
Location: NC
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 08:34 PM
Hi all, Anna here, alcoholic. I have 90 days and feel just great! The serenity Prayer for me has helped me keep things straight. I will stop and think, "Can I change this?" If I can't I continue to pray for acceptance. Anyway, You guys are great and I am so thankful for this site. I will continue to strive for my next level of sobriety. Thanks for all of your support!
Member: Margie
Location: New York
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 09:29 PM
Hi, my name is Margie, grateful to be a sober drunk and druggie today. The Serenity Prayer didn't make sense to me for a very long time. I controlled everything, got pissed off nothing went my way, so I used anything, and everything to drown my anger and resentments. When I reached my bottom, an emotional one, suicidal thoughts all day, I succombed to getting help. I succombed to my powerlessness Slowly, after going to plenty of meetings, I caught on to what the Serenity Prayer meant, through other'd idea of it. I took what I understood, and left the rest. I did the same in getting my own concept of a HP. I later learned that I was working the 2nd step and didn't even realize it. I felt a sense of accomplishment! Now I have my own concept of my HP, whom I choose to call God. I realize he/she is in me, was all along. Using the Serenity Prayer, sitting quit as best I can for the answer, helps me to see God working in my heart, usually it is doing the next right thing. Never thought of that when I was using. Only thought of me, always. Good job ((Pearl)) pedeling past those liquor stores! ((Bette, Marie, and Chris))) I hope you will keep trying to go to meetings. Remember all you need is the DESIRE to stop drinking to attend. Sounds like you are already there! Congrats on putting it down for today! Thank you all for being here. You don't know how much you help me with your courage and honesty.
Member: PJ
Location: Florida
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 09:45 PM
Welcome all newcomers-your presence is important to my recovery. Keep coming back until the miracles happen for you! Reading the messages reminded me of one of my insane behaviors in my "other" life-not only did I pour wine into my coffee mug, I remember actually blowing into the mug when driving, (pretending it was hot coffee)just in case another driver doubted I was really drinking coffee!! I know only another alcoholic will understand that flashback! Thanks so much for reminding me how insane my disease can make me if I pick up that first drink. I am grateful for all of my AA family-whether you have one 24 hours sober or 99 years-your sobriety is important to my sobriety. Wishing all the joy of serenity :)
Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 10:26 PM
Hi, Karen, Alcoholic. Just checking in. Chairing the meeting on Friday went okay, although I was nervous. Maybe I should do it some more to get over it. I am sober almost 8 months. Still struggling with cravings. Perhaps because I haven't gotten beyond step 2. All input welcome. Will check in daily. Hope all of you are doing well.
Member: Stacey S.
Location: Virginia
Date: October 27, 2002
Time: 10:47 PM
Hi all, Stacey, alcoholic. Everything I read, every quiz I take, everything points to big time alcoholism. And I know it. And today's the first 24 hours. I've said before "oh, I'll stop for a while" but this time it's done with for good. I'm so excited about my new opportunities in life and sure hope I can make it, because I was really going downhill fast. It's nice to know these sites and chat rooms exist, and I'll be reading them frequently. Anyhow, thanks for being there for newcomers like me.
Member: Robert K.
Location:
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 12:59 AM
Hi!Robert here.Alcoholic.I'm two weeks away from 6 months sober.It seems that this gets more challenging as you go along.Don't get me wrong,I would't trade anything for these past few months,but sometimes it seems like a war without end.Lots of emotional ups and downsand lots of self doubts.Anyway,for everyone with just a couple of days or weeks,stick with it.Don't drink.Go to meetings.This is the hardest thing I've ever done,but It may just be worth it.
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt,Mi
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 05:05 AM
Hi all. Bob here, alcoholic. Acceptance is just being honest. If I have a wart on my nose I can see it..it is there. Say so. Only after acknowledging it can I change it. So in other words, I must accept all I can change and all that I can't change too...bringing on contentment when I say, "ok this is how it is". My car won't get fixed until I am honest about it being broke down. Talking about won't fix it either. It takes effort. It isn't "work". When I want to live more than I want to die, I'll take the 12 steps and get sober. I will quit crying and begging and get off my butt and on my feet, dust myself off and ask someone successful with life for direction. (these are in the Big Book) Do I know this works....you bet.On November 5th I will celebrate 19 years since my last drink. It does work if I want it to. Keep trying folks.
Member: Mark K
Location: San Joaquin Valley, CA
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 07:00 AM
This is My first "On-line" meeting so I'll keep it short. I am happy to be here and Have read many of Your comments. I must say that I have shared in many of the experiences I have read here, and therefore, this is probably a good place for Me to be. So here goes, My name is Mark and I'm an alcoholic/addict. There, I managed to get that out of the way! I own 2 vehicles, and since I am finally "Opening My Eyes", I realized that there is a big problem. I have more garbage in My cars than the dumpster has in My apartment complex! But do I have a problem.... ...Not Me! (Or so I thought). Perhaps I do, so I'll be coming back to read Your messages and posting progress reports (I DO PLAN TO SUCCEED)! With any luck, the money I save by not buying alcohol will get Me a new ride (if You saw My vehicles, You would agree that I could use one)! :>) Thanks for the space and remember, "I'll be back!"
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:30 AM
Hi- I have a question about f2f mtgs. Can anyone tell me what the difference is between an open meeting and a closed meeting? I'm finding that a lot of mtgs in my area are "closed", which I'm assuming mean not open to the general public? I guess my point would be then, what's the point? Thanks and hope everyone is doing well ths morning.
Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:44 AM
Chris H. from Kansas here. Bette, one thing I have figured out is this...closed meetings are for alcoholics only. Open meetings are for anybody (spouses, curious, etc.) to attend. It's easy to see how that would be confusing. You can attend a closed meeting if you are an alcoholic and why the heck else are we hanging around here for? LOL Drove about 70 miles roundtrip to a town not far from here looking for a meeting that was supposed to take place last night. Nobody was there. I waited till 20 minutes past the start time. This is sure teaching me patience if nothing else! I will keep trying though. My next town to try will be Independence. That'll be 50 miles one way but once a week I could handle it. Thank God for this place to come and share daily.
Member: Jay L.
Location: Arizona
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:55 AM
For some reason, I never use the Serenity Prayer. I say it in meetings and I love what this program has given me in the short time(Feb.8/01) that I've been around, but I've just never used this prayer in my daily life. I've heard how people cling to this prayer quite routinely, so maybe one day I'll begin to use it for myself.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 09:12 AM
Hi, Thank you Chris H from Kansas, ok- I get it now, about the closed mtgs, and feel much better. I'm def an alcoholic-there's no doubting that. So I can walk into a closed meeting without permission is I guess what you're saying. Because there were some on my list that sounded good but were listed as closed. Good for you to keep trying to find a mtg. Must be incredibly frustrating to make the attempt and then not have it be there. I am lucky in the sense that in my area I have tons of choices- now just gotta get up the nerve to GO. I plan to go to the Women With Dignity one tonite at 5:30. It'll be my first. And hopefully the first of many. Oh, and Chris- I've had the dented bumper/fender thing happen to me before. Scary! I've had the ultimatums as well (husband, etc)- and ya don't even have to guess what I've always chosen. My hope of hopes is for all of us who truly want to make the "right" choice, to be successful. Best of luck to you and all who read this. And thank you...
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 09:21 AM
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. Alcohol allowed me to accept conditions that I previously found unacceptable. One day I realized that I had become a person that I had never wanted to be. And the scariest part was that I decided that I didn’t really care. A few months later, I wound up sitting in an AA meeting. For that I am truly grateful today. Chris H in KS – In the beginning of the chapter “How It Works” in the Big Book, it states, “If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it -- then you are ready to take certain steps.” “Go to any length” may be a key phrase for you. Have you tried calling any Intergroup offices? Try this web site for listings of KS Intergroups. http://www.aa.org/default/US_CtrOffice/ks.html Robert K – The ups and downs seem to even out eventually, but sometimes take a year or two for some. I was told in AA that life would probably get better if I didn’t take the first drink and took suggestions, but I was never told that it would get easy. Bette – Open meetings are open to anybody and everybody to attend. Closed meetings are limited to those who have a desire to quit drinking. The labeling of oneself as alcoholic is optional. Keep at it One Day at a Time! joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 11:46 AM
We ask to accept the things we cannot change, like a light in a tunnel. Personal experience hinders the use of such prayer, unless the prayee is in a state of merit. Future references can swindle time from any alcoholic's mindset. "Coon", pms is a woman's best friend! It flushes the digestive system of alcoholic enzymes. I should know - I've been sober for 7 years, which means alcoholic pms 84 times. What does this mean? It means that in order for your flow to help your sobriety, you must LASSO it! Curb your feelings toward angry things while you are so edgy.
Member: BabetteR.
Location: Jerusalem
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 11:46 AM
Hi I''m Babette and I'm an alcoholic/addict. I use the serenity prayer a lot during the day when things aren't going "my way" Sometimes just saying it calms me down and I feel better. I especiallu use it when I deal with my ex husband. (Bette) I read that book and it was very good A lot of insight into alcoholism and an easy read. Another good one is ""The Cracker Factory" by Joyce Rebeta Burditt. I'm 8.5 mpnths sober and going through some emotional ups and downs. Could be PMS or premenopause. Or just life. About drinking on the sly--I actually filled a milkshake size cup from Carvel with vodka n 7up and carried it into a meeting with me. No one said anything but I'm sure they smelled it on me. How's that for desperate?
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 12:03 PM
Please forgive my second post this week, but this is bothering me. Marsha L. from Guam – I am concerned for you. I have seen you post different sober times, from 0 to 7 years, in the past few months. Your actual sober time is none of my business, but the inconsistency could indicate you are struggling with something. If you need help, please ask here, email one of the women AA’s, or ask for help at a f2f meeting. Joe P.
Member: DaveP
Location: Pa
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 02:19 PM
Hi everyone , DaveP alcoholic here again. These recent posts have beenoutstanding. Very helpful stuff!!! You know, i never did the wine in the coffee cup bit but i took it to another level, the vodka in the Poland Spring bottle. That was (at the time ) a new low for me, especially when my son asked for some water, but that's a painful memory for another day. If the me from 12 years ago saw the me today do some of the things i do to get alcohol it would really be scared. Now these behaviors, (like carrying an extra pint of vodka in my pocket , so i can sneak out and take a few swigs when no one is looking) have become all too familiar and "normal". Now i'm not a big relious dude or anything so the higher power thing to me has been kind of a mystery, but last nite after remaining sober for 4 days, the mental tug-o war was really raging.I WAS SOOOO CLOSE to taking that first (of what would have been several) drink, when my wife saw me and tactfully requested i abstain. I don't know why i listened , but i did. maybe i should sign her up as HP? This morning , again at her request , and feeling very happy that the craving had passed, i spilled out the remaining vodka. Now i have five days, and tonite i have a meeting. As far as the serenity thing is concerned, i guess i'm in agreement with most, i have to accept that i'm an alcoholic, but i'd like the courage to not be a drunk.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 04:52 PM
Hi- just a quick note. To Dave P.- yep I've done the spring water/vodka thing too. And yes, have had my kids ask for a sip- I'd say I had a bad cold and didn't want them to catch it. Learned to always carry extra water or soda (the unadulterated stuff) for my kids- or, I'd by caffiene soda for myself to mix stuff with and by non- caffiene for them with the excuse that caffiene wasn't good for them. What a crazy life we live! Well, my car is warming up and I am off to my first official f2f mtg in about 5 minutes. And yes, I am scared. On many levels. Walking in willbe hard. But maybe walking out an hour later will be a lot easier and make me glad I went. I will check in when I get back. I'll need to I'm sure. Thanks to all and good luck.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 05:06 PM
Hi, my name is Sarah and I am a recovering alcoholic. Welcome all newcomers. The Serenity Prayer ... great topic for a newcomer's meeting. When I was a practicing alcoholic I didn't say many prayers and I didn't have any serenity. I learned the Serenity Prayer by attending meetings of A.A. They started their meetings by reading 'How it works'(the suggested steps of the recovery program from the book of Alcoholic Anonymous), then they read the Traditions of the program, then they said the Serenity Prayer. Next came each individual members sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope of their personal Serenity, their Acceptance of things they could not change, their Courage of changing the things that they could, their Wisdom of the difference of things they could and they could not change. All the sharing of Experience, Strength and Hope gave a gift of a "Healing Power" to me so I could take the action require to become a recovering alcoholic one day, then another day, then another day ... for 5+years. At the close of the meeting they again said a Prayer (usually a 'We' prayer (the Lord's Prayer), but I have been to other meetings where it was a different Prayer). I learned and have developed an understanding of the Serenity Prayer from attending A.A. meetings. Thanks one and all for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope ... it helps to add to the "Healing Power" of the Serenity Prayer. Keep coming back.
Member: Just a note
Location:
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 06:51 PM
Thinking of you with love, Bette, and hoping that the meeting went well.
Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 07:58 PM
Hi, My name is Lou and I am an ALCOHOLIC. Dave P. I also remember putting vodka in a spring water bottle many times. I use to do this even when I was at work. Of course I thought I was being coy and that nobody noticed.. Hah!!! More than once I was called on the couch for it but it just never sank in. Well I ended up getting fired. That was in July. After that I started drinking even more . Ten days ago I hit what I consider my very bottom.. I got up in the morning after being sober for a few days (after comming out of Detox) and I started drinking again. My 14 year old son was so mad at me that I thought he was actually going to kill me. I saw the anger in his eyes that I hope never to see again. I thought to myself that if he would hurt me or worse kill me he would be the one going to jail. Well that did it for me.. I started going to meetings the next day and every day after that. Today I am 9 days sober and I thank anybody and everybody thats invoved with AA. Without them and the groups I don't know were I would be. To everybody out there go to the F2F meetings you won't regret it. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:09 PM
Hi, I'm still Karen, alcoholic, only this time with a nasty cold. I miss being able to go to f2f meetings more frequently and am so glad you are here to talk to. I'm 8 mo. sober and still doing it a day at a time, some are better than others. Any advice on getting past Step 2? I believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity but I'm not sure such a power exists. Maybe I'm taking this too seriously or not seriously enough. I don't know. I take the program seriously, but I'm not working the steps at any reasonable pace, and seem to be stuck. Karen
Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:20 PM
For those who have apologized for posting more than once, the Early Sobriety site allows you to post as often as you wish - read the top of these posts - it's the other sites (discussion meeting etc.) where they ask to only post once a week. So keep posting!!!!!!!!!!
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:37 PM
Hi to all, well, here's the update on my first f2f mtg. It was great! Very emotional, but very rewarding. Chris from Kansas, Marie,- and anyone else out there seeking/thinking about going to a f2f, please do. I lucked out and found the perfect mtg for me the very first time. Unfortunatly they only meet once a week. But I'll be checking others out- hopefully everyday, for now at least. I'm sure I'll find some that just don't "do it" for me- but through trial and error I hope to get a schedule going that works for me. The important thing, I think, is to keep plugging. Can I claim instant sobriety after going to this first mtg? Hell, no. Some do- I have two friends that quit drinking after their first mtg and have been sober for 13 years. To be so lucky, huh? But what I do know is I cannot do this on my own. I am so fortunate to have all of you here to listen and for me to listen to- yes reading your posts helps immensely; and am now so fortunate to have had the guts to go to this first f2f mtg and drive away feeling hope- yes, with tears running down my face- but tears of hope. Tears of sadness too- yes, the party is over (I can't remember who wrote that recently) and that kinda freaks me out. But, I know that I am not alone. Just gotta learn a new way to get that party feeling- sober. Love and best wishes and thanks to all, Bette
Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 08:55 PM
Betty it's great to here that your first F2F meeting went so well.. check the meetings list in your area to see if you can find some more. These meetings really help..and if you can't come go to a meeting spend sometime reading the notes on these and other pages like it.... Good luck were all in the same boat.. Now Let's Paddle
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 09:18 PM
Hi, I am Lonnie and I have a drinking problem. I totally alienated my son and his girl friend in my drunken stupor. I have used the excuse that meetings are to far to drive since I live out in the country. I know how lame that excuse really is. I want to be free of this addiction. I hope my son will forgive me.
Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 09:22 PM
Bette:W E are fortunate to have YOU,too! Glad you got to a meeting!KEep coming back,it WORKS,I learned to like AA coffee,been drinking it with "em at meetings several times a week.So far I havent found it necessary to pick up a drink since that first meeting.Talk with those long sober friends, I"ll BETCHA they"ll smile and tell you luck aint got nothing to do with it--point three is read in every meeting,at the end of HOW it WORKS,and it sez "God can and WILL if He is sought",sure glad it doesnt say "If we are lucky!!" NEwcomers are the lifeblood of the program!!YOuve helped me a lot,hang in there!!!
Member: Cheryl
Location: Ca
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 09:23 PM
Hi Cheryl here alcoholic. I'm 14 days sober and I went to a f2f meeting women only 12 days ago. I'll tell you it made a difference in the love and acceptance, with no guilt and judgement from other women. I also loved seeing the cross/section of women. Some housewifes, professionals, etc., including all ages. That was important for me to see and join, as I felt I could relate to the women at this meeting. I also thought it would be important for me to listen to what everyone else had to say before sharing which I've not done except here. As far as hiding liquor, I had a bottle in the closet, I used to refill the bottles in the home so the family wouldn't know how much I drank, also replaced whatever I drank. Talk about crazy! Used to take a plastic colored glass with me to hide the booze. My head is clearing and I'm surprised how much energy I'm getting back. Hope my health will be ok, will be going to doctor this week. It's only one day at a time for me. Thanks for this site its a godsend.
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 10:19 PM
Hey to all, Been a while since I posted, I as well just started the program of AA and up till yesterday, had 10 days of sobriety, my longest date yet, but blew it yesterday, blew the meeting, and my sponser. I just can't seem to get out of this "Stinkin Thinkin" ordeal. I'm just pissed off at everything right now, for no known reason. What a emotional roller coaster ride. I have been going to meetings everyday since Oct. 4, and am totally burnt out. I am doing the steps with my sponser and am burnt out of that as well. I really don't know what the problem is with me. I say the Serentity Prayer everyday, I guess I just am not getting the third part "Wisdom to know the difference"!The more sober I get the harder it gets, but I guess no one told me it would be easy. For all you newcomers out there get to that first meeting, then get yourself a sponser. If it were'nt for mine, I would'nt even have made 10 days.TRY, TRY, TRY again. I keep falling off the horse, maybe one day I can stay on. Anyways, thanks for letting me vent. (((Marie, Ca))) will be rooting for ya!!!!
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt Mi
Date: October 28, 2002
Time: 11:06 PM
Hi, Bob here, alcoholic. Karen, step 2 says you recognise there is a power greater than you. It may be the AA program or the meetings. It is a power greater than any one of us. Now step 3 just says we are willing to turn our will over to that power. So if we agree to try the AA way in the Big Book, we are at step 4. It is that simple. Don't do what so many do and end up drunk while they sit there "thinking about" what is the right thing to do. If in step 1 you agreed you are powerless/life unmanageable...then it is a simple solution to try what others like myself says works. If you don't like it we will refund your misery. Each step takes us one step further from booze.
Member: Debbie
Location: SD
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 01:48 AM
Debbie here, alcoholic. ....we will refund your misery, that's hilarious, tee, hee, hee. For those who posted 'the party is over'. This is gonna sound cheezy, but...every day life can be a 'party' if we choose for it to be. I think we alcoholics, need to learn to live and be happy with a lower keyed life. Basicaly when we were actively drinking everything was either super fun or super miserable. The changes in sober life are a lot less dramatic. The "highs" aren't quite as high as they are with alcohol as an additive. But, from my experience the lows aren't quite as low. I remember waking up with a horrid hangover wishing I was dead. Now when I feel bad, yes it is hard without being able to 'fix it' with alcohol. But now I can see a way to solve my problems, really solve them not just mask them with alcohol. Also, when you do have some sobriety under your belt and you are able to go to a party sober and stay sober, you will be amazed at how much fun you can have sober and you'll rememeber it all the next day!! (who knew?)
Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 01:55 AM
Joe P., I strive to think that sobriety can be counted many ways. I have been sober for 7 years, but with a few crutches along the way. In order to show the weakness of my long history of sobriety, I report a differing amount of time, varying according to my decision to "make time" through my thoughts and deeds. Perhaps it would be clearer if I proposed it in a different way, but clarity only demeans the purpose of what I'm saying. As for the serenity prayer, thoughtless repetition is like a rosary, and reflection on the words more meaningful. As Parnez said, "weakness of speech is like a long, sore glove." I encoourage myself daily to stick to one thought alone; otherwise, my mind is dampened like a cloud. If rote idealism is challenged, only the challenged will benefit.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 06:00 AM
Hi- To Marsha L. from Guam- I've been waiting to see how you might respond to Joe P's post to you. Great job, Marsha! That couldn't have been easy. Very well put. I like the rosary analogy as well. Bets wishes, Bette
Member: John K.
Location: Winter Springs, FL
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 11:00 AM
My name is John, and I'm a happy ex-drunk, but still recovering alcoholic. I've been coming to the rooms for almost a year and a half now. I currently have 10 months sober (THANK GOD,A.A.,and all of you for that. I tend to find myself using the Serenity Prayer daily. It's a very strong tool in me recovery. Whenever I get upset about any thing, I just use a tool that I learned from a dear friend of mine. He told me how to say the Serinity Prayer in 4 words. "Bless Him, Change Me". I have found this to be great.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 11:05 AM
Hi All, Very interesting posts that jump started my brain this morning! So far in AA I have seen many different ways to interpret a sobriety date. Mine is based on the last day I took a drink. Some in my group go by the last time they picked up a drug or a drink. My analogy is a drug is a drug is a drug. I don't count prescription medication prescribed by your doctor and taken as prescribed. We have a lot of AA members who say street drugs are their drug of choice but because of a lack of NA meetings in the area they need the AA meetings for support. Some say that their sobriety date is "so" long for alcohol and then "so" long for say, Pot... Does it matter to me? No, I'm not the AA Police! It comes down to being honest with yourself and your group. AA is based on rigorous honesty and I know that alcoholism made me a liar. Not that I was fooling anyone but myself...Hehe. Reading all the ways we tried to hide it brought back memories. In the end I gave up on hiding it because everyone knew anyhow. My reputation preceded me as they say. The first step is not a hard one for me and is one I have admitted to myself for years. I am powerless over alcohol, and my life is unmanagable. Yes it is! What am I going to do about it? Turn it over to my Higher Power. That is what I am working on now. Do I need to do this? Yes, or it will be death, jail or institutions...No thanks. I want what I see in the long term AA people, peace, happiness, and wisdom. The program is only as good as I work it so I have been working it hard. Anything I have gotten in life that I had to earn mean't so much more than something handed to me. Have a Great Day and Don't Drink! Kelly :) I Picked up my 30 day chip yesterday!!!
Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 11:21 AM
FC - I read the posts in the discussion meeting this morning and Chuck W's made me really sad - he sounds like he is really despairing - he is from San Diego, maybe you could connect somehow. Anyway, hang in there, your honesty is always so great - I think your obvious desire to stop drinking will eventually lead you to sobriety!! Thanks for keeping me in mind today!!!
Member: Westman
Location: CA
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 12:02 PM
Westman here - How is everyone? I have to comment on some of the above posts regarding hiding our alcohol abuse. I personally think that we're fooling ourselves if we think we're actually hiding it from our loved ones, friends, co-workers, etc. I get the feeling that they always know, but maybe it's just paranoia on my part. I've tried all the tricks mentioned and some creative ones of my own... I've used a lot of colonge, breath mints, bubble gum, incense in my home office to hide the odor. Sneaking drinks during the weekend days while working on the house, I would often choose a job that required sanding or painting so I would have an excuse to wear a dust mask so my wife wouldn't smell my breath. Kept a lot of parsley in the fridge to eat before my wife came home from work, as it somewhat neturlized the smell. And yes, I too would keep two jugs of wine. One in the fridge and one hidden to replace what I drank so it would look like I hadn't drank anything or at the least, very little. Frankly, I don't think I was fooling anyone but myself. Sad, huh?
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 01:48 PM
Hi all. Bill P. here, alcoholic. Lou S. - Thanks for posting. I'm glad you made it to this site. It's a great place to hear stories like your own, and in turn receive hope that you do not have to drink again. With the help of AA, and God, we are able to keep each other sober, one day at a time. It's worked for me for almost six months (I can hardly believe it!). Again, welcome and I hope you keep coming back! ((FC)) - I'm checking in here daily and have been reading your posts. I just want to let you know that I'm glad your back. Keep coming back! As long as you have the desire to stop drinking, there is hope. At first I forced myself to go to a meeting every day. I didn't want to, but listened to the advice of other AA's with a lot of sobriety. They continue to show me the path. I can't tell you what will work for you, only what has worked for me for almost six months now. Lots of meetings, the big book, regular daily prayer to God, and a sponsor (because I commute 35 miles to work, I have two sponsors, one in my home town, and one where I go to meetings during the work week). Keep the faith and know that we are all in your corner. I'll keep checking in, and by the way, you are on my prayer list. Peace.
Member: DaveP
Location: PA
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 01:59 PM
DaveP alcoholic, here. This was kinda lousy, last week i went to a monday nite meeting, where there were lotsa guys , a few gals, mostly older and mostly with lots of years of sobtiety under their belts. They were real nice last week, cery friendly and warm, this week they almost seemed preoccupied, and were generally aloof. The other thing that bothered me was there was one new guy there , younger than I, who was asking people questions after the meeting , and they were real rude and cold to him. So i introduced myself, gave him what little info I had , and told him that the previous meeting was much better. I am hoping these guys were just big time football fans who wanted to get home and watch the game. I thought i'd found the meeting that was right for me, now i'm again questioning whether i , as a newcomer fit in w/ these veterans. Thanks for listening.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 03:22 PM
Hi Everyone! Hope the day (or night dep. on where you live)is going well. Well I can relate to Chris H from Kansas' frustration today. I was all set to go to a noontime womens mtg about 20 miles away. I got there and the place was all closed up. Not a soul around. No note or anything about a change of mtg place. So, I was disappointed. But I will try a different one tomorrow, and the next day, etc... It's interesting to hear everyone else's stories about what measures we go through to "hide" our drinking. I have done EVERY SINGLE ONE of the things everyone has mentioned except blowing into my coffee cup as if the "coffee" is too hot. Now that's a good one. Very creative! It got me to thinking that I could hang a tea bag string over the side of my cup- LOL. NO, I'm NOT going to do it. And to everyone who has posted saying that we're fooling noone but ourselves- you are absolutely right. Denial, denial, denial... Well, while I still can't claim 24 hours, I am not giving up. And I hope all of you have the strength to keep the faith- whatever your faith may be- to keep plugging. Good luck tonite, Marie.
Member: Roanne
Location: MA
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 03:40 PM
Hello I'm Roanne and I'm an alcoholic. After years of sobriety--I blew it. It has been a rough year, and I am here again. I wish I could control my wandering mind...only one glass of wine...only on weekends..only, only...Even as I hear myself say these words, I know they are a crock..I asked someone why I let myself fall for such bull. She said because your an alcoholic. I guess I'm standing on first base. Thanks
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 04:51 PM
Hello I am Lonnie and I am a Alcoholic. After I posted a message for the first time yesterday, I got the courage to call about attending a meeting. I am really scared. The wine in the coffee cup and the vodka in the water bottle, the breath mints and parsley all so like me. Tonight is my first meeting.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 05:03 PM
To Lonnie- I hope your first mtg works for you, that you can feel welcomed and comfortable, etc.. Yeah, it's scary, but... look at the alternatives. Best of luck. Let us know, ok?
Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 06:02 PM
Chris H. from KS here, an alcoholic for sure. Gosh so much going on! Lou S. thanks for sharing your story and you should thank God for that 14 year old that loves his dad enough to wnat him to sober up. Bette, I was so glad to hear about your first meeting. I'll have my first one of these days! Lonnie S. I live in the country too and have driven as far as 35 miles one way to find nobody at the meeting place. We have to be willing to go the extra mile I'm afraid! I hope your meeting is good and you hear something that you need to hear. Roanne, sorry you're going through this early sobriety again, but I'll tell you what I've heard in some online meetings...welcome home. That always touches my heart! So here I am with four days of sobriety. Sure wanted to go by the store and pick up some beer after work, but I said "not today" and headed on home to you all! I have been in contact with the Wichita AA Office and they're really trying to help find me a meeting. It's looking like I'll have to go to Independence which is 100 miles round trip but what did that great guy up there say about "going to any length?" I can do that once a week. To everyone else I say thank you for your encouragement. I've gotten so many good things from this meeting.
Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 07:26 PM
Hi Lou S. striving to stay sober alcoholic.... Bill P. thank you for the very sincere support. Your post was very inspiring. Especially since today was not one of my better days. I never got to a mtg... first time in ten days.(I know there's no excuse)...but by this afternoon I started to get that stupid feeling that I could buy a small bottle and get away with it.. Isn't that insane I was only feading into my desease. Luckly I was able to come to my senses before it was to late (thank God for that) Now I find myself here on this site and after reading all the new post I feel alot better. Thanks again... TO ALL OF YOU.... PS I still haven't gotten a sponsor I feel that for now my groups are my sponsors I always go early and stay late... What are your feelings on this. Lou942@optonline.net
Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 09:07 PM
Karen here, 8 mo. sober, recovering alcoholic. I promised to check in every day and I'm going to. My cold is better and I increased my Prozac to help me with some depression I was going through. I can't get to f2f meetings like I want to but I do have a sponsor and we get together when I'm at home. We also e-mail one another. Lou S. You need a sponsor to guide you through the steps. It helps to have someone who knows where you are and supports you through the rough spots. Beware now, a good one will make you work! Glad y'all are here. I'll check out for now.
Member: Jen L
Location: Boston
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 09:12 PM
hi everyone, I am Jen an addict. I am struggling as well. I once had 4 years back in 1993-97. Since then really no time to speak of. What's scary is, after all I have lived through with my active addiction, I still pick up. I'm getting sick n tired of not being able to stay stopped. I have alot of support IF... I get myself to a local mtg. Even then I find myself overwhelmed!!! FAILURE written on my soul. I know I am a good friend/person, yet my sicker side always seems to win in the end. I have no excuses, I am an addict and it really HURTS. Lucky for me I do not have children involved. I just want peace again and hope. Yet is this at all possible for one in my shoes??????????????????THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE EAR. I DON'T MEAN TO BE NEGATIVE GOD KNOWS I WANT SOBRIETY. Jen
Member: Tammy P
Location: Ottawa
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 10:03 PM
Hi Tammy P an and alcoholic, I am sober 1 day, this is my 3rd stab at sobriety, and I hope the final, I was sober 2 yrs when I relapsed over a year ago. During that time I have lost so much it is unbelievable, a little scared to go back to f2f meetings and seeing everyone again so for now I am reading the aa book and a lot of the serenity prayer and the i can do this for 24 hours. I used to post on here and am glad they added the beginner group, because it gives me a place to go for now. thanks everyone, reading you comments puts a lot into perspective.
Member: carmen I
Location: brookhaven pa.
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 11:04 PM
hello fellow drunks, I would like to know the best way to approach someone to ask them to be my sponsor. does anyone have any ideas?
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: October 29, 2002
Time: 11:16 PM
Bette and Chris thanks so much for the words of encouragement. I attended a meeting tonight and took the 24 hour recovery chip. I plan on going back on Sunday. The people there were really nice and shared lots with me.
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 01:24 AM
Hey to all, Hope a lot of you's are having a good sober night, just got back from another meeting tonight and feel pretty good right now. I seem to always get something someone said that triggers me the right way, funny how AA works. Sorry about last night post, I was just irratable, But thats expected trying to sober up. I keep wanting to have some type of control, I know tonight that me and the word "Control" can't be together in the same sentence. I have to learn "Acceptence", and go to all these meetings honestly. I think only then I will find answers for myself. Everytime i mess up I learn something new for myself, eventually I will get it. I go to meetings everyday, cause the first time I don't I mess up. For everyone out there that are new, don't give up and keep coming back. So sorry to hear a lot of you's commutting a ways to acheive your sobriety and it being closed. Don't let that get to ya, TRY,TRY,again to another meeting. Its well worth it. Thanks (((Bill P.))) for the words of encouragement and prayers for me, That alone gets me going to the next right step. I am definetly trying to do the right thing and having a positive attitude get me to the next level. (((Marie, CA))) How was your meeting??? Did you go in the building or around the building like I did the first time??? (((Lonnie S.))) keep that chip in your pocket awhile, when ya feel down or ready to take a drink, look at it, read the prayer on the back, it will help getting you to another level.(Anyways, thats what I do, and it helps)(((Tammy P.))) keep posting and don't get down on yourself, it happens to the best of us. (((Jen L.))) I think you know what to do and get to a meeting fast. We have to get out of our "Stinking Thinking" AA helps.(((Roanne Ma.))) Don't let yourself hit your head against those walls to much, We are alcholics, Any day we can lose our sobriety, we always have room for another drunk. No matter how much time we have had. Practice step 1 again, I think that's the most important one for myself, once I forget that step, forget everything!!(((Bette, Seacoast))) Glad to see your meeting went good, it always feels good to go somewhere where we are not alone in this baffling disease and others understand. Good luck to you and keep posting back. If I missed anyone Prayers out to you, I got to get to bed early morning tommorrow. Thanks for sharing and thanks for letting me share tonight. Take care all and keep coming back, You make me see the light a little more closer.
Member: annie p (5 Feb 1993)
Location: South Yorkshire, U.K
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 02:51 AM
For a long time after I came into AA I couldd't (or wouldn't) use the Serenity Prayer. This prayer embodies all the aspects of the AA programme and I think I was still tugging hard in the other direction. I didn't really want to follow the AA programme BUT, by some miracle, I didn't drink. I found a plate with this prayer printed on it and put it up over my sink so I saw it every time I did the washing-up I saw it but I still didn't use it in other parts of my life with any confidence. However, this prayer has become the symbol of this lifegiving fellowship for me. A fortnight ago we all attended the funeral of a member of AA from South Yorkshire. We stood on a windy hillside overlooking Sheffield, hands linked, all 50 odd of us, and said this prayer and I was so grateful for this fellowship which has given me so many sober friends. God grant me the Serenity To accept the things I cannot change Courage to change the things I can And the Wisdom to know the difference.
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt Mi
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 05:17 AM
Hi, Bob here, alcholic. Suggest the idea for some to think about. If we rely on meetings to stay sober and then can't get to one aren't we really just setting ourselves up to fail? Bill W took the steps in just days and so did Dr. Bob. They MAINTAINED their sobriety with meetings and carrying the message. When picking a sponsor, I was told to pick someone that had taken the steps and that disagreed with most of what I thought. It worked for me. He recently died with 41 yrs sober and I have 19. If my way worked I wouldn't need a sponsor or AA. Keep coming back. As the mind clears, the truth we find is just sitting there "waiting to be discovered"
Member: Roanne
Location: MA
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 08:34 AM
Hello I'm Roanne and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you FC. Your absolutely right I need to remember the first step. I am still swimming in deep water denial. Meeting and people like you make good life preservers.
Member: Beth L
Location: RI
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 08:47 AM
Hi all, Beth here. New to this site not the disease.I have been reading all your postings since last evening it is my first step to getting out of this house and to a meeting before I drink or loose my mind completely.Going to a meeting again terrifies me,leaving this house at the moment ,terrifies me.Saying goodbye to my one true love ,alcohol,terrifies me even more.Like all of you my life has been pretty much a living HELL.I have lost so much in my life, because in one way or another, of alcohol.I know all this but yet....I can't seem to stay away from it.Right now at this very moment I feel like vomitting,probably a combination of things,nerves,too much booze consumed in the last evening,and too much caffeine.I am going to try to pull myself together enough to pick up the phone and find a meeting.I am afraid if I don't do it today, I won't do it at all.Thank you all for being there. I hope I make it back to this site.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 09:08 AM
Bill P. here, still an alcoholic. ((Beth L.)) - Thanks for coming in. I know the horrible feelings of overdoing it too. No matter how heavy that phone is..... Pick it up and find a meeting! You don't have it drink ever again, as long as you have an open mind and the willingness to be honest with yourself. I don't know how, but this program really works. It's kept me sober for almost six months. Six months of getting better, not getting worse. Welcome, and please come back. "WE" are here to help you... ((FC)) - Thanks for checking in. You sound good. Keep going to meetings! I know it sounds corny, but "Meeting Makers Make It"! Have a great sober day. I'll be thinkin of you. Peace.
Member: Daniel J
Location: South Carolina
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 09:14 AM
I need to get sober again. I had 18 months and went back out. I have drinking now for over a year. Unfortunately, I am drunk right now at work. I went out last night and smoked some pot and drank a lot of liquor
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 09:20 AM
Hi All, Good question ((Carmen I)) about "how to find a sponsor"? I was wondering that myself. I've only been to one mtg so far so I figured I'd just wait and see what happens. Like maybe the Fairy Godmother of Sponsors will magically grant me that one special person when the time is right. ((Lonnie)) congrats on your f2f and, hey, how'd you get a 24 hr. chip- I didn't get one! Maybe they sensed I wasn't ready to commit to 24 hrs, ya think? Oh, and how does one go about getting a copy of the B.Book? I don't have one. Progress- one hour at a time, tho-Yesterday, after going to the mtg that wasn't there, I took myself out for lunch- Japanese. And I did not order sake! I just love sake with Japanese food. I had 3 cups of green tea instead. Amazingly enough, my bill was incredibly cheap- LOL. I have a box of green tea at home. I had some before bed (it's caffeinne free) and can you believe? I slept all night, which I NEVER do. (Yes, I admit to having 2 glasses of wine earlier in the evening-in a wine glass even- which I almost immediately knocked over- totally sober- just used to those damn mugs, forgot about the stems on the glasses :.) And this am I asked my 12 year old if she'd make me a mug of green tea. She looked at me with a puzzled look and said, "You want a cup of tea?" Wow, what a sad state of affairs. And all of my own (un)doing. It will take a long time to build up a trust factor with her again. And whoever responded to my quip about luck- you're right- luck has nothing to do with getting sober whatsoever. It is probably going to be the hardest work I've ever done or ever will do now and for the rest of my life. For me- one minute at a time. Thanks again to EVERYONE who lends an ear and offers support and encouragement- I offer the same back to each and every one of you. Marie, where are you????
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 09:34 AM
Glen - Glad your back. Get to a meeting. I never want to forget how I felt at the end of drinking days.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 10:49 AM
It’s refreshing to read the posts in this section. There is real recovery in the struggles both successes and failures at staying sober. You keep me close to knowing I’m only one drink away from being a pee in my pants drunk. I have also experienced many of the fears and trials I have been reading here, but let me tell you when I learn and practice the steps, life is incredibly good, when I don’t it gets very bad. The serenity prayer was an enigma for me when I first tried to use it. I was confused about what I could change and I did not know about courage. Today I “practice” serenity with simple action, while my mind is rattling the cage.
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 11:35 AM
Hi, Kathy P. here. This is my first time on this site and hopefully the first day of my sobriety forever. I am 47 and have been struggling with alcohol for 20 years now. All my attempts at quitting have failed. I am a very private person and cannot see myself attending public meetings so I am hoping that connecting to others on this site will help me. I had a real eye opener last evening when I discovered my daughter had e-mailed my sister-in-law to tell her that I was drinking too much. Not only was I mortally embarressed but it made me realize how much my drinking must affect my family even if they don't confront me about it. It is time for me to confront myself though and I welcome any help or suggestions from those of you on this site. Thanks!
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 11:56 AM
((Beth L.)) Welcome, Beth. Aaaahhhhh... I remember that soul sick fear very, very well. Sounds like you're sick and tired of it, though and that's a great start. I hope that you can get to a meeting tonight because after you walk in the door and sit down, your fear will start to dissipate, because you'll be in the solution no the sickness like you are right now. You're worth it, ((Beth)). No matter HOW many times you've tried to get sober. It took me from the age of 17 when I hit my first AA meeting and strung 3 months of sobriety together to the age of 31 when I hit my last bottom to get where I am today: 3+ years sober and reasonably sane in my own skin. :-) Please come back and share here - let us know how you are doing.
Member: Carol
Location: Chester, Vt.
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 12:15 PM
Hi Everyone. I'm going on two years sobriety, and I too don't have a sponsor. The meetings, I go too there aren't alot of woment that go. So it been a hard road to find a sponsor. Yes, I use the sereneity pray everyday, at first I didn't think it was nessaray, but I find I use it in just about any situation, that comes my way. Yes I too have turn alot over to my H.P. Some days, I feel like he put me on hold, to see what I'm going to do about it. Thanks for letting me post here. I'm a recovering alcoholic.
Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 12:29 PM
Hi All My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. I thought I'd put in a quick note to Kathy P. and others who feel they're too shy or introverted to attend a f2f meeting. GO TO A MEETING. You will not be required to speak. Every one of us at the meetings is there for the same reason. When I finally quit making excuses, and started making meetings, I was given a free, sober, happy way to live. Because I've been regularly attending meetings for a number of years, God HAS GRANTED me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can. Occasionally, I even get a bit of wisdom to know the difference. Peace, love and a happy, sober, 24 Jack -- jackh@netpass.com
Member: Carol
Location: Chester
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 12:45 PM
Hi Here is something for Kathy, I too am a very private person. But once I walked through the door to my first meeting. I was fine, and started to listening to all the others around me tell there stories. I felt even more at ease. Cause we all are there for a reason, and that is to learn to live our lifes with out drinking. You should really get to a meeting and check it out. I know my children were afraid to bring there friends home, cause they didn't know what kind of mood mom was in. Meaning weather I was drunk, enroute to getting drunk, or wasn't home, but never sober. I was never a mean drunk. They were embarrass by my drinking. They have told me this now that I have been sober. Isn't that an embarressment to find out.
Member: Lonnie
Location: Texas
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 01:34 PM
Bette, I took Green Tea to the meeting. Everyone was doing lots of coffee. I know that was one of my triggers to needing to drink on the weekends because I was always so wired on caffeine. Keep the Green Tea flowing. I think I found my Fairy God Mother anyway, I hope. I do believe in Fairies. Keep up the Good work and your Fairy God Mother will come to you. Thanks FC for sharing the information about the chip, its right with me.
Member: carmen I
Location: brookhaven pa.
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 03:17 PM
Bette, I guess if there is a fairy god sponsor I may have found him .I have been sober 4 /1/2 years but i still consider myself a new comer I have tryed to work the steps to the best of my ability . I make meetings regularly. reading everyones comments here have been a real plus we need more outlets like this one . I like getting involved especially at my home group . I hope everyone has a happy sober day ! take care all.
Member: Vee
Location: Midwest
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 03:20 PM
I'm only 6+ months sober and Bette, my HP is mostly all the people in the rooms. Together we are way bigger and stronger than I am alone. I go there for the experience, strength and hope to be found. The rooms need not be smoke filled. Try to find a mtg. in a church. They don't usually alow it. I use the Serenity prayer for EVERYTHING!!! I have a habit of waking up pissed off and terribly fearful. Say the prayer and repeat til the anger and fear subside. Lack the courage to face a meeting or use the phone...say the prayer. When I'm so screwed up I can't even remember the words...just repeat the first line!!! Hasn't failed me yet. Sober and really grateful
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 06:07 PM
Many thanks to Carol and Jack for taking the time to read my letter and give me encouragement. I had a feeling I would advised to overcome my reserve and attend a meeting. Don't know if I can do that yet but I will work on it. I am also considering private counseling as another option when the going gets tough as I'm sure it will. I also want to thank everyone on the site for being so open with your stories and experiences. It has helped me so much already to know that others like me are going through the same struggle and determined to overcome this problem. I feel much less alone than I did this morning. Will keep in touch!
Member: Beth L
Location: RI
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 06:49 PM
((Kim D)) Well I never made it to a meeting,they are pretty limited here.But I have managed to make it back here.And I can honestly say it Helps,thanks to you all.I am trying to keep myself busy,even went down in the basement and dusted off some" old books" I had stored in boxes.Maybe there was a reason I didn't throw them away!even found a meeting schedule from October1996!I found one near by that still exists tomorrow evening at 7:30, I plan to be there. I think I will be ok for today.Thanks again.
Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 06:58 PM
Hi, Karen, alcoholic--Don't have much to say tonight but just wanted to check in. Where is my advice on negotiating second to third step? I could use some good input. Once again, I'm struggling with the HP thing, possibly taking it too seriously or not seriously enough. I think I have to really believe in something before it can be a true source of support. Any help at all will be appreciated.
Member: Paul R
Location: Michigan
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 07:29 PM
Alcoholic here ! Still Paul R though (problem in a nutshell)! :0) I use the Serenity Prayer daily. It reminds me to stay ' OUT OF ME'. I keep a 'chip' in my pocket at all times. It's a constant reminder for me lest I get complacent about recovery. And being an alcoholic, complacency rates up there for me as a moral defect. If I may digress here . . . . for those that are new or struggling, hang in there, IT DOES GET BETTER ! Check out that website http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=viewall and download the Joe and Charlie Big Book Study. It's about 35 files, but its more then worth it. (ya need help ? i'll try to explain) Find a sponsor as soon as possible. If you don't have any AA literature or are strapped for cash, check out a used book store. I used to pick up alot of books for a couple dollars each, and then pass them on to newcomers at meetings. As for the people who dont have any meetings nearby . . . . talk with local clergy of some sort . . . . bet they may know of a drunk. . . . hey, it worked for Bill, and look how that turned out !!!! Just a few random thoughts. Thanks for letting me take up some space here and THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE !!! God Bless all.
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 07:41 PM
Just a quick note to (Kathy P.) Most of us have gone through what you are experiencing now, trying to find an easier, softer way to recover, anything but a F2F meeting. I was the same way because I thought going to a meeting of AA would mean I was an alcoholic, would be so shameful. I simply refused to attend and tried the therapy thing, the mental health hospital thing, the antabuse, etc. on and on. Nothing worked for me and in desparation I attended a meeting. I was so scared I was shaking, then crying, but something happened.... everyone was nice to me! As I sat and listened, other people were telling my story!! Amazingly enough, I was not the lone crazy person I thought I was!! It enabled me to start on the road to recovery. So when you are ready, please try. If you don't like your first meeting, please try another. There is an amazing amount of love, support and unity at AA meetings I hope you make use of. (Karen P.) In AA we refer to our Higher Power as we understand it. Some people who don't believe in God use the group as their Higher Power, Nature or whatever they choose. Hope that helps out. Love to all and God Bless
Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 08:26 PM
(((Kathy P))) I know how hard it is to go to that first f2f mtg. I went hrought a long struggle with it myself....but when I hit my bottom I had no other way,short of being commited. I found that the people that attend aa mtgs are some of the nicest and thoughtful souls I have ever had the pleasure of being aquainted with. I have shared in their experiences and in turn I have learned that most of them reflect mine.I try my hardest to go to a mtg everyday and believe me when I say that it's the only thing that has truly helped (other than this site). Pick up the phone and make the first step foward before you and end up going backwards. Your in my prayers... GOD BLESS all of YOU.
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 09:38 PM
I'm Gage and I am an alcoholic. Congratulations to everyone who has stayed sober this day, and to those who haven't, please keep coming back. I came here a drunk, pure and simple. There is no reason in this world why AA would work for me and not for you. It will work for you. Try to believe that, and then you'll have some hopes. Hope is good.
Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 10:57 PM
I wasn't going to post because I feel so LAME about not going to the meeting Tues like I said I would - I got lost, was just a little late, then found it and it was a dumpy old building across the street from a friend of our's business!! I panicked, parked down the street for a few minutes to gather my thoughts and drove home. I haven't told anyone except my husband thatt I am trying to quit and I pictured our friend (normal drinker) seeing me walking in. I didn't drink last night tho, had insomnia of course, used to my copious amounts of wine, but felt pretty good today. We are supposed to go out to dinner Sat with friends and I worry about what to say about not ordering drinks - they will be shocked when I order non-alcohol, it's SO unlike me. I rec'd Living Sober Monday and have read alot of it - it's very helpful - The Big Book was supposed to havee arrived about 5 weeks ago - got into an argument with the on-line person who said it had been sent out aawhile back so she finally said she'd "re-ship" it - I'm anxious to read it. Good luck to everyone Beth I know that awful nauseated feeling from alcohol from the night before and jitters from too much coffee - ish. Hang in there. Best to everyone out there!!!
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: October 30, 2002
Time: 11:09 PM
Hi All, ((Karen P))Tonight at a Big Book step study we read the story,"A Drunk Like You". It is on page 398 in the new Big Book. A Jewish man comes to realize he is an alcoholic and starts going to AA only to relapse. A chip in his pocket drives home that he is an alcoholic. He later asks his sponsor about why he has to pray in AA because he is Jewish and the prayers are not Jewish. His sponsor say's to say them in Jewish then. The Jewish man says they will still be the Lord's prayer. His sponsor says, Right. Then say something else you like. Your higher power or whatever you call it is helping you and you need to say, Thank You... I get from this story that we all need something to believe in higher than ourselves. If you are agnostic then find something you feel comfortable with. When we say the Serenity Prayer or The Lords Prayer we are as someone said,"getting out of ourselves". All spirituality is based on a higher power or creator and AA is careful to leave that up to the individual. I have not made it to steps 2 and 3 yet but wanted to share this with you. I have heard in meetings to,"Fake it till you make it". If you are unsure of your HP now then work the program anyway and you may find it along the way. Good Luck! ((Kathy P.)) Opal gave some great advice. I know that I felt shame my first time in AA. My biggest fear was that I would run into someone from work and it would be all over the plant. It ended up being much worse than that in the long run, (in the newspaper) and I lost my rep, job, respect and friends. I see people from work all the time in meetings and it doesn't bother me anymore. We are all there for the same reason to stay sober and if anything they are way more understanding...:) Go to a womens group and ask for a sponsor, call her daily to check in. Don't try to do it alone, you don't have to. AA is a "We" program and thats why it works. Everyone have a great Thursday! Peace Out- Kelly
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 01:03 AM
Kathy P. I thought posting on this site would remedy the problem because I am also a very private person but what I found out it was simply the first step. I went to a self-help group tonight and found out why I am the way I am, but it really didn't help me accept who I am. I wish I would have attended a AA meeting. Dazed and Confused but Sober.
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 02:36 AM
Hey to all, lots of great posts tonight, just walked in the door of another meeting and am feeling pretty good right now. For all you newcomers out there, all I can do is share my first time trying to walk thru those doors. It actually took me weeks to find the courage to get thru those doors. I passed by the building, parked in the parking lot and left, Passed the building 2 or 3 times. But when is enough, Enough! I was in bad shape when I actually opened the 1000# door, sat in the back and did'nt look at no one or even try to talk to no one, I was so scared. But now that I'm trying to do the right thing and get to 90 meeting in 90 days, its getting better, people seem to remember a reoccuring face trying. For those of you's trying to get a sponser, I was lucky, she offered the first day I went, I must have had a sick & patheic look that needed someone to help. I find the more meetings I go to the more of the same people I see, Go to meetings for awhile where you feel comfortable and see the same people, Then when your comfortable even attending a meeting, ask that person if they will sponser you, get someone that has worked the steps and has a length of sobriety for themselves. More then likely they will jump at the opportunity, Why are they so eager. We actually help them sustain their sobriety. By looking at us in this condition helps them not to go backward but forward. A sponser is very important cause I can read all the literture I want and post as much as I want, but life is reality, not my own closet for people to visit. AA is the "WE" program, I simply just can't do it by self. With words of encourgament, strength, and hope I will find the answers for my own self-piece!! I wanted quick answers within a weeks time, bang my head for a few more days why I was still not getting the bigger picture, but I guess it will come in time. This isn't a race, take it easy and just go to meetings. AA is about change within our ownselves. There are no quick answers, just trying to achieve sober life. Have a postive attitude, be open and honest in the meetings. I think things will eventually fall into place sooner or later. I just started 3 weeks ago, keep falling off the bike, but get right back on. Everytime i mess up, I learn something new, not to do. Anyways thanks for letting me share tonight. (((Marie,CA))) get to a different meeting, if that one made you uncomfortable, every meeting is different, but have the same message. Find that courage and get thru the doors. Thanks all, Have a good night!!!!
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt, MI
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 04:41 AM
Bob, alcoholic. I don't care if folks see me go into a bar or find me drunk on the street.It don't matter if they find me laying in the gutter having messed my pants. I don't care if they see my name in the paper for getting caught drunk driving or see I went to jail but by God...they sure will never see me embarrass myself by catching me going to an AA meeting where I can find some help.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 05:15 AM
Hi from Bette, To Bob B. MI- great point! Mtgs are hard to walk into- esp the first time- but you bluntly pointed out the other possible way more embarrassing scenarios. I've only been to 2 f2f mtgs so far- Monday and today. But I think they are really important. And I know some are better than others so just keep trying. And if there's only one choice in your area then keep going to that one. Maybe YOU could eventually bring that mtg around to be a better place to be for yourself and others, with your valuable presence. Thank you for posting, Marie- I was getting worried. Well it's 20 minutes away from alarm clock time here and so will keep this short. Take Care All, Bette
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 06:42 AM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. Please excuse this double dip, but I'm having one of those sleepless mornings -- the monkey is jumping around in my brain -- and I've learned that when that happens, nothing will calm me more than to make contact with another sober alcoholic. That's one of the reasons I love this site. I particularly like to read this page because it reminds me of how lucky I am. I mean it literally: I'm not sober because I'm smart, wise, or spiritually enlightened beyond what anybody else here has described in these posts. I'm just a dumb drunk, honestly. But I got lucky. I fell in with some folks who keep all of this AA stuff very simple, simple enough so that a dumb drunk like myself can do it. For one thing, they helped me understand what it is I'm dealing with here. When I was a small child, I stuck my finger into the flame of a stove and it burned me. Ever since that time, I have known that if my flesh comes into contact with fire that it will hurt each and everytime without exception. So, fire is no problem. I can say the same thing about hundreds of other things that I have learned to avoid because I know they will hurt me -- I didn't even have to experience some of them to know that. But drinking hurt me too. Yet for time after time, hundreds of times, I kept trying to drink and not get hurt. I was obsessed with trying to drink. Of course, I always got hurt. So, when they talk about the insanity of alcoholism, they are not talking about the crazy shit drinking makes some of us do, (some of us didn't do anything but sit in a chair and drink). They are talking about the insanity of taking the first drink. ((FC)), I'm delighted to keep seeing you here, and I'm so happy that you keep trying. I want to mention something in your post -- that part about finding something else you shouldn't do everytime you fall off the bike. The only problem I see with that philosophy, FC, is that there are millions of those little traps and my fear is that before any of us are able to uncover them all we will be dead from drinking. So, that's why I want to suggest to you and anyone else here that you go straight to the heart of the matter. It's that insanity of the first drink. I have it -- that's how I became an alcoholic. So, rather than look for the millions of ways alcohol can trip me up, the simpler way is to look for the solution to that problem which is to not drink at all. But how? Here's what they told me: We admitted that we were powerless over alcohol -- that our lives had become unmanageable. It's like accepting that everytime I put my hand in a fire, I am going to get burned and it will hurt. If I can that, you can do that. And then it's time to take a look at Step Two. Good luck to you and to everyone here. Keep it simple.
Member: tony p.
Location: NL.CANADA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 07:01 AM
drinking .05 nonalcoholic is this acceptable for sobriety.I can't seem to get a direct answer on this question only individual opinions.I am looking for a answer from gso,but the web site is under constrution
Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 07:22 AM
Chris H., forever an alcoholic here. So many great, honest posts since I was here last. This is truly becoming a healing place, don't you think? ((Kathy P)) there's a hug for you! I know the thought of going to a meeting if you're shy or reserved is terrifying. But please give it a whirl. I've gone to two meetings now that nobody else showed up for. Each time though my heart was racing and I worried about what would happen....etc. But I still want to have that meeting happen. I'm going to a different town on Sunday. I'll ask for everyone's prayers that this one happens. ((FC)) thanks for coming here every day and encouraging us. I really rely on your posts. Marie, Bette....keep going to those meetings. Sounds like you're really working hard at this. Day six sober...this is the longest I've gone in a very long time and it feels so fantastic. Thanks for this place. They say if we keep coming back, we'll get our miracle. I'll be here!
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 08:09 AM
Hi Tony - I think you already know the answer! In my experience low/no alcohol drinks are nothing more than a poor substitute for the real thing. If you still crave the taste (rather than the effect ) try getting away from them altogether. Change location (no bars, clubs etc) and try different drinks.Don't know whether you can get them over there but Schweppes (coca cola company) make a mixer called Russchian which has a bitter taste and is nice, or straight tonic is good. For slightly sweeter tastes try Ginger beer and lime juice but if you have a sweet tooth already (you'll probably acquire one as you stay sober - most of us do as we need to replace the sugars that alcohol gave us)the world is your oyster. Sorry to go on at such length but you raise an interesting topic which I struggled with for a while.Good hunting and don't pick up the first drink! John
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 09:02 AM
Thanks to all of you for being here. Lots of great posts! Here's to another sober 24! Peace.
Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 09:20 AM
HI again All, My name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. To ((Karen P.)) and anyone else struggling with steps 2 and 3, I'll tell you what my sponsor taught me, way back in 1980. He said: "If you believe, deep down in your heart that there is a Power greater than yourself, why not ask Him/Her/It for help." Bill, (my sponsor), also taught the first three steps in a form that even a dummy like me could handle -- I CAN'T -- GOD CAN -- I THINK I'LL LET HIM!! Peace, love and sobriety Jack
Member: tony p.
Location: NL CANADA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 11:06 AM
any one got a e-mail address for gso i am not drinking .05 nonalcoholicbeer myself,but someone in our is.what i am trying too find out is if as a group we should be giving out medalions for sobriety such as 3 months 6 months etc.i am looking for facts on this matter
Member: daveP
Location: PA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 01:23 PM
Hey guys, daveP, alcoholic. Well actually Tony, I disagree w/ John, i think non alcoholic beer, if you can get one that tastes halfway decent(i like hacke beck, from Beck's Beer maker) the best. I have found that in situations where i don't want to drink, but still want to have that beer taste and socialize , etc, that it's a perfect compromise. Of course the most i'll have is three , and there is absolutely no way to catch even a half a buzz on this stuff, so i wouldn't worry about it. But tht's just me, i have no medical literature to back me up. It was , however , recommended to me to drink this stuff as opposed to alcohol to get to sleep (something to do with the hops). KathyP, I think there are very few of us who are not "private" persons, especially when it comes to our alcoholism. I waited ten years to start going to meetings because i felt exactly the same way. I was dreading seeing someone I knew, and I hate public speaking and yada yada yada, and a hundred other reasons why i just couldn't bear the thought of going.. But eventually the disease just progressed far enough that i was willing to try absolutely anything to stop. So i dragged my sick sorry ass to a meeting. I've now been to four meetings, and my fear of them is gone. The people there are not any different from you. They all had the same problem, went through the same struggle, and were "private " people too who just couldn't live with this problem anymore , so were willing to give AA a try. I'm telling you, just try it. You will be very pleasantly surprised. The people are friendly, not nasty. Their all there for the same reason you are. I hope if enough people post similar experiences you will at least give it a try. Like anything else in life new things are ALWAYS scary and awkward. But this one is well worth that initial uneasyness. Have a great sober day everyone...this site just gets better and better. Happy halloween!!
Member: Debbie M
Location: SD
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 01:27 PM
My name is Debbie, I'm an alcoholic. After 9 weeks of sobriety, I slipped yesterday and drank. I have no excuses, I have no reasons. Today I feel that I just need to get back on that bike. If I have nothing else, I have determination and optimism. I feel so stupid. But for some people it can take hundreds of attempts at sobriety, right? I am not giving up and I just thank my higher power for having a bigger plan for me and to help me carry this weight. Any thoughts? I could use some guidance. I am going to a F2F meeting today.
Member: Terry W.
Location: Newfoundland, Canada
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 02:08 PM
My name is Terry and I am an Alcoholic. I just found your site. Looks great. I think I will just listen and learn for a while. I also get lots of F2F meetings as well. It's a changing world and it's great to see that you are keeping pace in carrying the message 24/7. My God, how lucky we are. Alone no more. Regards, Terry
Member: Sarah. F
Location: DC
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 03:31 PM
Hi, I'm Sarah, alcoholic. Thank you for all of your comments. I have almost 4 months of sobriety and I experienced that pink cloud initially. Well I think i fell off this week. Things are hard now in sobriety. I feel as the 7th grader who thought she had figured out Physics and then realized that she didn't know it at all. That is how I feel about the program right now. Dealing with stuff without alcohol as a coping mechanism sucks some days. As far as HP, I believe. I have somehow ended up at meetings when I didn't want to go and seen pogram people when I've thought about picking up. hang in there everone, I'm going to try to as well. Sarah
Member: Lou S.
Location: East Coast
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 03:47 PM
Hi everybody Lou here. Alcoholic... (((Debbie M.))) you're already back on the bike by making a meeting today. I feel for you I know all about relapsing and all the different emotions that come out. Hang in there. Mtgs and this site are the best thing for you right now. A little over a month ago I went into detox and I was only able to stay clean for 10 days..on the 11th day I started drinking all over again and for me is was worse then before.. that lasted three days until I was able to grasp reality again. Thats when I decieded I couldn't do it by myself and I went to my first AA mtg. I am now on my 12th day of sobriety. And with the help of the fellowship and my HP maybe I can finally make it this time. So hang in there and stop kicking yourself in the b....t it's not worth it . Just go back to one day,one hour ,one minute at a time. Thanks to all of you .. I really need this site...
Member: Lonnie S.
Location: Texas
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 06:37 PM
Debbie M I am new at all of this, 4 days without drinking but I know you can do it, Breathe. My husband is really angry as he sees me change my patterns. I am caring for Lonnie for a change and not trying to control the uncontrolled situations in my life. It feels really GOOD. I am really greatful for this web site. Many Angel Blessings to everyone.
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 06:40 PM
Hi, I'm John A, alcoholic With Ref to Tony p, PA and John H. From a booze retail point of view. A Drink that is .05 nonalcoholicbeer, is not alcoholic FREE, it is classed as low alcohol. The problem with alcohol free beer and wine is the tasted. u get the tasted and before u no it your back on the booze, the tasted can set off the craving for booze. I was at a meeting a few weeks a go and someone shared there tasted for alcohol free beer, 10 years he was off booze till he started drinking alcohol free.he got the tasted. He was lookly he got back. keep sober, JohnA
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 07:23 PM
((Marie)) Don't feel bad, you made the effort and I think I probably would have reacted the same way. Please keep trying to find another meeting that suites you better, it's out there I promise!! ((Lonnie)) Congrats on 4 days, that's great!! It is always hard for those around us to accept change, but this is a selfish program in that we have to take care of ourselves first which most of us never did before. I know that I felt so guilty about my drinking my kids had me hog tied to everything they wanted. They hated it when I began recovering. (Debbie M)) You show great courage at getting right back up on that horse!! I just know you have the courage to keep trying until it sticks!! God's Blessings to all.
Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 07:57 PM
Hi, Karen, alcoholic. The problem is I believe a higher power could restore me to sanity, but there it no higher power I believe in. I do believe in some kind of universal order which could, I guess be a higher power, but I don't have a real or regular personal relationship with the universe. I appreciate your comments and if you have any more advice, I invite it. I don't know if I'm nit-picking, taking it too seriously, or not seriously enough, but I am stuck and have been for awhile. My sponsor is getting impatient with me, I know. But how do I get on to step 4? I can't get past 2 & 3.
Member: Ron G.
Location: Cape Breton,Canada
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 09:09 PM
Hi all,Ron G. alcoholic; At one of my first f2f meetings, one of the oldtimers told me: "don't worry too much about THE STEPS for the first year" He later explaind that the only thing I should worry about in my early sobriety is NOT DRINKING and GOING TO MEETINGS.I was told that the steps would come in time.Karen,don'tdrink, go to meetings and enjoy all the benifits of beeing sober,the steps will fall naturally into place.GOD bless and good luck.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 09:16 PM
HI Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. Karen P. Just go ahead with the 4th Step. The Second Step starts with came to believe. That implies a period of time. It does not happen at once to many of us. The Third Step is only a decision to seek some sort of a higher power. It does not name that higher power. You will find it as you go. In the beginning you can use AA groups as a higher power. Many have started off that way as well. There is power in numbers. Take a single snowflake and catch it in your hand. It will melt and go away. But, put a few of them together and they can tie up a city for days. That is power in numbers. However in your case it may be ice storms. LOL. I used to live in Marietta GA. :) The only requirement is that you have a desire to stop drinking. Press on and good luck to ya. Bill. email: az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Jim P.
Location: PA
Date: October 31, 2002
Time: 11:21 PM
(((Carmen I of Brookhaven))), the best way to approach someone & ask them to be your sponsor is to...as the Nike commercial says..."Just do it." I know that may sound too simple but that's what worked for me. If the person is unable then you can ask someone else when God puts that person in your path. I went "sponsorless" for a while and, believe me, recovery is so much more fullfilling & worthwhile when you have a sponsor. Remember, as much as a sponsor will help you, you will..in turn..help your sponsor. That's how it works from one drunk to another...
Member: mike c
Location: north
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 12:21 AM
mike, addict and alcoholic. i'm thankful you all are here. i've been sober for a short time. emotionally i've been up and down. lately the downs aren't so bad thanks to the 12 steps and daily contact with the higher power. i attend two meetings a week. it helps me stay sober. there is a lot of good advice in meetings. a lot of good advice comes in the form of a question. here are two questions i remind myself of daily: 1) "you were sick for a long time, do you think i won't take a long to get well?" 2) "do you think a drink is going to make that problem go away? (then by all means go get drunk)" the first one reminds me to take it easy and work the steps. the second reminds me that drinking/using is the problem and every thing else is easy if i will it to the higher power. i'm thankful you all are here. i'm mike and i'm still an addict and an alcoholic.
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 02:46 AM
Hey to all, Great day not to drink today, Just got off the phone with my sponser and it helped me getting thru another day. I was actually irratable again today, and feel so much better now. I talked her ear off for about 2 hours but I did'nt drink. Thank you for another day. (((Gage,LA))) Thanks for your point of perspective, I never thought of it that way, But ohhh its so true. I'm trying to learn the right way, You made me think for awhile and thats good. Thanks for your input I will keep that in mind. (((Chris, H))) I really don't know where exactly you live in KS, but try this site for whereabouts in AA meetings.http://www.soberplace.com Thanks for the words of encouragement, I'm just trying to make it day by day. Keep posting ya get me going for the better. Good night all!
Member: Jeanie D.
Location: New York
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 03:19 AM
Jeanie D., alcoholic. The posts are truly inspiring! I learn more and more about this stupid disease every day, just reading your posts. I think AA stands for "Alcoholic, Always". The serenity prayer helps deal with this never-ending problem. I have a question. Ladies, can we talk about thongs? Who designed these things, because it wasn't a woman.......
Member: Cenilia
Location: Newton, Kansas
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 03:25 AM
The Serenity Prayer is a request for power to live the right way. It is extremely efficient in its wording, yet very comforting for me to say. My advice to anyone is that, when saying it, either out loud or silently, MEDITATE on its meaning. Someone mentioned the Rosary, and they're right. Unless you meditate on the central meaning of each Mystery, you are just babbling. Same with the Serenity Prayer. Doesn't George W. Bush act just like a puppet, whose strings are being pulled by the NRA, the religious right, and the CIA?
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 06:40 AM
Hi Karen P. this is Kathy P. Just want to say that I understand your struggle with the Higher Power issue. I am not religious myself and it is tough when you need something bigger than yourself to believe in. A while ago I was on a plane that was in danger of crashing and even at that horrible moment in my life, I couldn't be a hippocrite and pray to a God I hadn't believed in for years (besides, I figured there were plenty of other people on that plane praying anyway!) The important thing is to be true to yourself and not force any beliefs you just can't embrace. I have found comfort in reading Native American literature which embraces a nature based spirtituality meaning that they believe in the earth as their mother and invest life in everything, not just people and plants and animals but in water, rocks etc. Don't be afraid to explore other forms of spirituality until you find what is right for you. Hope this helps.
Member: BobB
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 06:53 AM
Bob here, alcoholic. Booze is booze whether it is .01 or 1.0% It sounds like someone is playing a game with their (sobriety(. The 12 steps are the program of AA. So if I am understanding the advise given to Ron then the person said to him, if you get into a car accident and you may die from it...don't go to the hospital for a year. Just sit around with others and talk about it????? NOT. Of course anyone can crawl in bed with another sick person and say heal me if they want The Big Book suggests you do it NOW. That you do it Precisely and THEN you tell others. Our thinking got us drunk. If you want to gamble your life on going back out .....go for it. I will pray for you. Meetings are where we go to get the message and a sponsor. Then we go back to carry the AA message. Not our message. I had my life saved by AA. It bothers me a lot when I see others try to twist it to shape their own thinking.
Member: John H
Location: Manchester
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 09:59 AM
Hi doubting Thomas's - low alcohol is what it says - don't touch it if you really want to stay out of trouble. The Big Book preaches Total Abstinence and anything you do which compromises that places you at unnecessary risk. I believe that includes low alcohol and even some 'alcohol-free' wines which actually contain alcohol. Mouthwas too - look at the label. No I'm trying not to be picky or pedantic - I just find it easier (nothing about this disease is easy!)to get away from it altogether - as I said before, that includes getting away from the old tastes, haunts, drinking buddies, if you can. Give yourself your best chance to recover - don't make it any harder than it already is by playing with it. You wouldn't quit smoking by only having a puff or two instead of a whole cigarette would you?
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 11:23 AM
Hi All, TGIF! I agree that for me I stay away from alcohol substitutes. I drank alcohol free wine years ago (nasty tasting stuff). It never made me want to drink but this time around I'm not going to take the chance. Don't poke the bear! I went to an Anniversary Meeting last night that was good. A handful of people getting anywhere from 2 year to 10 year medallions and cards. It is nice to see the program works and living proof of that. I have been having a little bit of a problem I would like to bounce off you all. I seem to be having a problem with certain people in AA that come to meetings to spread "Mess"" rather than "Message". Mostly relationship stuff that is a waste of the groups time. One person is up and down more than a yo-yo and it gets old after a while. Last night is the second time this person got up and left in the middle of a meeting upset while her significant other sat on the other side of the room. AA is not marriage counseling. Some seem to need a relationship fix to replace an alcohol fix? Any ideas on how to deal with this??? Right now I just ignore it... Off to a meeting... Kelly
Member: Sarah F
Location: DC
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 12:37 PM
Kelly M- I can totally relate to the aspect of what is bothering you. We have quite a few of those here too, including drama queens that share the same story for a week so that by the end of it I feel as if I can tell it to. I voiced my AA annoyances to a friend and he told me that the reason I was so annoyed was probably because there was something that bothered me within myself that was similar to the person's behavior that bugged me so much...He told me to go hom and pray for the people that buggesd me every night for 2 weeks and it would be lifted from me. It worked!
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 01:28 PM
Hi! I am Kathy and I am an alcoholic. I agree with the posts about staying away from anything with alcohol in it. I know someone who relapsed (after 12 years of soberity)on cough medicine... SO BEWARE!! I was also thinking about what Kathy P said about spirituality. I recently heard something that I really liked about that....Church is for people who think they are going to hell..spirituality is for people who have been there (That's US). Karen maybe you are just not ready to move to step 2 and 3 yet...maybe try going back to 1 again.
Member: SimoneM
Location: IL
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 01:30 PM
This is very difficult. I have an extremely hard time verbalizing my feelings, especially the bad ones. How do I admit to myself (much less anyone else) that I have such a failure?I can't stand feeling this way anymore. Pretending I am fine when I am far from it. Maybe here I can find strength. No courage just yet to go to a meeting.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 02:05 PM
HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Not a newcomer but posting in the spirit of our preamble. The Serenity Prayer is an awesome piece of poetry. It's so simple that the point is often missed. I am asking for courage. To accept what I cannot change and change what I can. Boiled down in simple language, I am only asking for God to help me differentiate between what I can work on and what I need to turn over. Thank you all for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill. Email: az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 02:53 PM
Hi,I'm John A,Alcoholic.Hi John H, After reading your reply to low/free alcohol booze. Dos that mean I have to stay a way from work !(old haunts). I think working with the booze for 6 days a week has made me alot stronger, I am on my guard all the time and now that is part of very day life for me. From doing this program I now see how I was when I was drinking, I get my reminder every day as I sever someone like I was very day with booze. Keep sober JohnA
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 07:20 PM
Simone, you are not alone. You have found the strength because you are here. Jeanie, thanks for the thong statement, you made me laugh and I needed to laugh. Do you think a woman designer would want to create a constant wedgie, has to be a man. Opal, thanks for the kind words. I called my son, wrong thing to do. Alcoholics and the control issue. I seem to chase my Tail over and over again, wow I enjoy this pain. I also enjoy the eloquent words of our Native Brothers and Sisters. Someone told me the other day if I can start looking at life as a circle or a series of circles instead of linear, I will be able to live a more peaceful life. I think maybe Alcoholics get to into their own heads and not enough into their hearts, well anyway that is me. I am going to my second meeting on Sunday. 5 days of not drinking. Peace to All
Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 10:29 PM
Low/no alcohol beverages fulfill a void in me that says "drink Marsha!" As a crutch to sobriety, they can give the thrill without the consequences. For me, a cold promise is a full promise, whether it is alcohol-free beer or a cola drink, but I always choose moderation. When asked to say why, I just reply "because I'm free." Only with the wink of God's promise can such things be possible.
Member: David W
Location: NJ
Date: November 01, 2002
Time: 11:09 PM
Hi, I'm David an alcoholic. The Serenity Prayer is awesome. I 1st heard about it as a kid when my Dad was getting sober. I learned that I couldn't change my father's drinking, that he had a disease called Alcoholism. He wasn't a failure, none of us are, we suffer from a disease. Together we can do something about our disease, avoid alcohol 1 day at a time and use the 12 steps as a program for living. We are the lucky alcoholics that have been exposed to AA and a solution for our disease. Our drinking is something that we can change. I also try to remember, the amount of time since my last drink isn't as important as the amount of time between now and my next drink. Staying sober today is the important thing, that's what we can do something about. Getting involved in AA helps our chances of not drinking for today. Just some random thoughts, but the real reason I wanted to post was to say that I can't tell you how much I love reading all the posts at this site. I read them every morning on my train ride to work. The newcomers posts, the oldtimers posts, it doesn't matter -I relate so well. WhenI read the sharing at this site, I just feel so grateful to have a chance to experience life sober and to have a place where others going through life with this disease share their experience, strength and hope from a point of view that seems so right to me. As my sober days add up, I become aware of more areas of my life that I should work on improving. Overtime I have drifted away from AA more than I would like to admit. The sharing on this site is helping to bring me back to the AA I know and love. It saved my father's life (he died after many years of sobriety), and so far it has saved my life -- thank you for your sharing. I am pulling for all the newcomers to make it and for all of us to stay away from that 1st drink. thanks
Member: annie p
Location: South Yorkshire, U.K
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 03:02 AM
I'm with John in Manchester re. 0.5% alcohol lager or beer. Even if the stuff has 0.5% alcohol it has ALCOHOL in it. Recently someone in the Fellowship had a very nasty drinking spree which nearly ended in tragedy thro drinking this stuff. Stay away! Even that small percentage of alcohol will set off the craving sooner or later. IMHO if someone is drinking alcohol then they are NOT SOBER however small the percentage is. When I was first in the Fellowship I was advised not to drink anything that "looked" like alcohol even and not to drink from anything that looked like a glass that alcohol might have been in but then I was lucky to encounter a bunch of "Hard Liners" when I came first to this Fellowship and have now been sober for a few days.
Member: Thomas M
Location: S. Fla.
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 05:17 AM
Kathy P. What if all those other people's prayer's on the plane really worked. Just a thought.
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 06:53 AM
Hello Thomas, I never discounted the possibility that others prayers might have worked. I just meant that I personally had not believed in God for years and I couldn't suddenly become a "foxhole Christian." As they say in Anne of Green Gables: "God does not want you for a fair weather friend." Simone: please don't give up. We all know just how you feel and we are all pulling for you. Three days of sobriety for me now. The week-end coming up is going to be a challenge, but I just check in here frequently and it gives me inspiration. Everyone have a happy and sober week-end! Love to you all. Kathy P.
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 09:23 AM
Hello Everyone, It's been a few days since I posted but I've been reading all of your posts several times a day. I didn't get to my Thurs night mtg- noone to watch the kids. And yesterday my little one was home sick- so it looks like Monday night will be my next. But I'll keep coming here- everyone's posts help me to work towards sobriety. I like what David W./N.J. said, "I also try to remember, the amount of time since my last drink isn't as important as the amount of time between now and my next drink." I think that is an important message; not to discount those who are being able to say with pride that it's been so many hours, days, week, months, years... that's important too. But I think David's message is a great inspiration for those of us who can't claim any length of sobriety- look to the present and the future; not the past; and have faith that the "next drink"- one of these days- won't happen for us. Good luck to all this weekend! Bette
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 09:36 AM
The serenity prayer. Much used in my life today, beginning when I sobered up. I often check my sanity prior to action, using the serenity prayer. We alcoholics are not necessarily the sanest of folks:) I have seen an old man very drunk on the "low alcohol" beer (it took two cases, and many trips to rid himself of the excess liquid). Bad idea to entertain thoughts of "getting away" with using this stuff. Abstinence is the only answer to being truly sober. Those that use crutches such as this, or marijuana maintenance are but fooling themselves. They would like to believe they ARE sober, but our disease is cunning, baffleing, and powerful. Those that make excuses for not making meetings are listening to their disease, thus seeking to avoid a solution. I chose the solution, as I hope all the newcomers here do. Non belief in GOD did not prevent me from sobering up folks, so that is but another excuse. I had excuses for everything I did not want to do. Do You? Many enter the program, and quit when the action is to begin. Where is that? Step four is the first action step. One through three are decision steps. Four is a stumbling block for many. Avoiding it can be fatal. Ask my mother or father. Both died from alcohol poisoning their livers leading to their deaths. Four was a struggle for those others around the tables, BUT most that stay did four and five, many more than once. Funny how we alcoholics find that re-doing the steps is of value. Good meeting this week folks. Thanks for helping me stay sober this week. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 11:21 AM
My very last words on this topic (low alcohol drinks). You can get 'drunk' if you drink enough of any thing - even water! The point is that to stay sober you need to break with your old habits completely - not try to find substitutes/crutches. Your tastes will change naturally - don't try to keep the old tastes. You will come to prefer bitter or sweet or fruity tastes - just go with that and find drinks that match them.I like that previous post - don't poke the bear! Low A wines taste horrible anyway and Low A beers bring back too many dangerous memories for me.Each to his own, though. Ishouldn't preach after only 13 weeks sober. Good luck to you all - see you in about 5 weeks as I'm going Down Under, off-line, in Perth. PS John A how you work in an Offi surrounded by booze is beyond me - you have great fortitude.See you soon.
Member: shannon b.
Location:
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 11:50 AM
hi, I need help. I'm scared to go to a meeting and I guess I just want someone to tell me it will be ok.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 01:26 PM
Hi Shannon, I can appreciate your fear of trying something new. My first time at an AA meeting years ago was a scary proposition. After the meeting I felt totally different and met some great people just like me. They gave me a Big Book and a meeting list and phone numbers. Now I look forward to trying new meetings and meeting new people cause were all there for the same reason. We are powerless over alcohol and our lives have become unmanageable. Yesterday I pulled another Triple Double.... Go Kobe! All three meetings were great but the last one, a midnight meeting was the best. There were about five 18 to 20 year olds at their first meeting. A few spoke briefly about why they were there. My son is 18 and my heart went out to these young people. They did awesome! You can too even if you don't talk, that's fine. Call AA and find an open meeting and bring a friend for support if you like. I hope you give it a try Shannon :)((Sarah F)) Thanks for the advice. I heard from an old timer last night that it is pretty common in the first few months to think everyone "else" is an A-hole in the meetings. It is the alcoholic sickness coming out. I stuffed my feelings for so long they are starting to come to the surface as the fog clears from my brain. As you said a lot of what bothers me in others bothers me about myself. ((John H.)) Have a nice trip down under... Don't poke the Koala's! ((Mark H)) Thanks for the strong message. Made a lot of sense and alcohol always wants us to take the easier softer way out. Like a world class lover it is always whispering in my ear what I want to hear but not the neccessarily the truth... Everbody have a great Saturday, Don't Drink, Go to meetings, call your sponsor.... Kelly
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 01:56 PM
Hi Everyone- To Shannon B.- GO to a meeting. Yeah it can be intimidating. I sat in the parking lot for quite some time at my first mtg, which was just last Monday, and watched as people went in. Then I kind of hesitated, pretending to read the bulletin board (it was at a church), and then someone came along and said "come on in". And from there-in it got easier. There might be people there who are jerks- you never know- but just ignore them if there are. I've had good luck with the mtgs I've gone to so far. Nice, caring people. But, regardless of any potentially negative people you might run into in a mtg in your area, if you're feeling in need of help please try some mtgs. You will probably be pleasantly surprised. I know I'm sticking with it no matter what. It helps. You're not alone.
Member: shannon b.
Location:
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 02:10 PM
Thank you both. I will call this afternoon and find a meeting. I just needed a gentle push from people who have been there.
Member: robert s
Location:
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 02:34 PM
I have been trying to give up drinking because of excess stomac acid. So far I have not been able to stop drinking for more than a few days. I tried a few aa meetings but could not relate to all the behaviors stories everyone told. Could I have a problem anyway?
Member: Lonnie S
Location: Texas
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 04:47 PM
Robert, I am a new comer to all of this. I was not like anyone at the meeting I attended as well. I was a binge drinker especially around family members. I believe each story is unique because we are all so diverse in backgrounds, etc. I at first sat in total Judgement of everyone but after I let go of my Ego, I realized that Alcoholics have no real boundries. We are all together in this Dis-ease. The Serenity Prayer is really helping me.
Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 05:49 PM
Chris H., Kansas alcoholic here. Shannon B. I hope you find a meeting to go to today. Please let us know what you thought, okay? Robert S. I haven't been to a f2f meeting yet...hopefully will find one that is actually 'happening' tomorrow! I'll just bet an AA meeting is like life...you're not going to relate to everyone or agree with everyone. Shoot if there's nobody that you care for, maybe that's just not the meeting for you. Try another if you're lucky enough to have several to choose from. Interesting comments on the low alcohol beer, etc. I'm a world class beer drinker and I know I have absolutely NO business drinking anything that even remotely tastes like beer, so I will abstain. I think any alcohol in a drink would put me right back where I was. I would like to request prayers.....my hubby had a chest x-ray done last week and the doctor called and said there are spots showing on his lungs. We'll be going in on Tuesday to talk to this doctor and find out more. I intend to stay sober because I know a drink won't make any difference, but damn it sure is hard! One hour at a time.....
Member: Bette
Location: Seacoast
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 06:51 PM
To Chris H, My thoughts and wishes will be with you and your husband. Please keep us updated. Keep that one hour at a time attitude- your husband is going to need your support now more than usual. You'll both be in my thoughts, Bette
Member: JohnA
Location: Manchester (UK)
Date: November 02, 2002
Time: 07:23 PM
Hi all,I'm John A, I`m an Alcoholic.. John H Have a good time Down Under, nice to see you have the meetings sorted out. Well done on the 13 weeks your doing fine. Im now moving into the unknown, 26 weeks now,first time I have been off the booze this long in 27 years. To all out there, Can anyone give me any tips on how to choose a sponsor. Thanks all Keep sober. JohnA
Member: Marsha L.
Location: Guam
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 01:21 AM
Robert S., stomach acid can be one of the consequences of a lifestyle deemed "chronic". Fullfill your fantasy for change, but don't suffer without realizing that God is on your side. Try drinking a little buttermilk with some sugar mixed in. Although it sounds detestable, I've found that it has always worked wonders on my gastric system. Also, visualize yourself acid-free, alcohol-free, and in a buffered state. Winning the battle with alcohol should not be because of symptoms, but rather, effects.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 02:36 AM
Hi All, Just back from a 3 speaker meeting that was very good. A bunch of us went to a fav coffee bar after and had a lot of laughs. If someone told me that sobriety would be this fun a couple months ago I would have called them crazy! I isolated big time and rarely left the house except for a booze run. It is nice to socialize again and make new friends. It is this normalcy I missed. John A, Congrats on 26 weeks! Way to go man! On sponsorship I was told to look for someone with over 2 years sobriety, active in the program, Someone you feel comfortable with that is available to talk daily. Someone that is a local call if you want to avoid toll charges. Also someone who has worked the 12 steps so when you work them you can ask questions. I was also told that you may want a sponsor that has a sponsor of their own in case they can't answer your question they can confer with their sponsor. These are not set in stone, just some guidelines. I know sponsors that have not worked the steps and they will not be able to really help you on the steps which are important, at least to me. I have a friend that works his own program. He sponsors two people but has never had a sponsor himself, he also has not worked the steps. He is still a good guy but not what I would look for in a sponsor. In the end it is up to you of course and sorry if I overcomplicated this! I'm good at that...;0. Chris H. I will keep your husband in my prayers. Keep us posted. Robert S. I have been on medication for Acid Reflux for years. Talk to your Doc about Nexium or Prevacid. They really work around the clock. Don't give up on meetings just try different ones till you find one you like. Its normal to be overwhelmed in the beginning. Don't give up, Don't drink, and Keep reaching out... Kelly
Member: robert s
Location:
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 06:50 AM
Thank you all for your wonderful responses, Let me rephrase my question. my only problem from drinking alcohol seems to be stomac acid. I do not have a behavior problem like I hear about in meetings. But when the doctor told me to stop drinking coffee and alcohol. I have not able to stop them so far. I guess my question is: Is it ok to go to meetings if I can not tell stories like I hear there? I feel silly saying that stomac acid is the only reason for being there at the meeting. Does anyone else attend meetings for a similar reason? I know i could just take pills to solve the problem. But it scared me somewhat when I could not stop the coffee and alcohol. I guess I am afraid that I might start doing the behaviors I hear about in meetings. I am in my early 60's so I have been drinking a long time without behavior problems.
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: November 03, 2002
Time: 07:02 AM
Robert S, the only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. If you want to stop drinking, for whatever reason, and can't then it's not only OK for you to go to AA meetings, it's a darn good idea.