Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 01:19 PM

Comments

Hi Madelaine. Welcome back, your posts were missed. I have taken note of your e-mail address and I will contact you personally. I have enjoyed this site very much and it has helped me in so many ways. However I was informed that this site was for people who wanted to stop drinking, not control it and that I was doing many people a dis-service by saying I was doing "controlled drinking". I would not do a dis-service to anyone intentionally and I do understand that I could be sending the wrong message. I personally feel that NOT drinking at all would be the perfect answer. I also feel that we have to choose what is best for us in our own unique situations and at the moment I have chosen not to drink to excess but to control my drinking. This is working for me so far and my one crutch is this site. I really enjoy reading everyone's posts, some of them are so inspirational and I will continue to check in. For someone who said they wouldn't be posting anymore I guess I have to eat my words. Thanks for your encouragement Madelaine, I will write to you. God Bless and Keep Coming Back!!!


Member: shawn c
Location: new jersey
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 01:59 PM

Comments

hi everyone, I'm Shawn and I am an alcolholic. I am a newcomer to the recovery process and I am having a hard time.I am asking for help. I will put my address at the end if this posting. aside from being new to this I have also split with my partner of 14 years. he too is an alcoholic and was also cheating on me.I have been going to meetings as often as i can, about 5 a week.I am getting many good things from the meetings and am grateful for them. I am also overwelmed by it all. I am not doing so good with the breakup thing, he got mean and ugly towards the end. the first day that I moved I got drunk. I regret it and have not had a drink since sept. 3rd I am trying to meet new, healthy friends but it is hard cuz I don't feel like being around people, happy people, just yet. the urge to drink isn't as strong as the urge to call him, I know i won't call him because he is just bad news. so, if anyone wants to write and maybe chat that would help. I live in s. jersey near philadelphia, I am gay so if that bothers anyone thats cool, go your own way. my address is peacefrog714@yahoo.com thanks for listening, shawn


Member: BRUCE L
Location: ohio
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 03:14 PM

Comments

hey shawn , one day at a time my friend is the way I have found that works . as for the breakup ,"this to shall pass"


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill, NC
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 04:39 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Cecilia, an alcoholic. I lost control of my drinking on September 11th, 2001 and have come to understand that I'll never again be able to drink/or control my drinking. It is like playing with gasoline and I'll get burned -- perhaps fatally. I tried to control my drinking but lost the battle and could not stop. Anyone who tries to control but cannot is just fooling themselves and risk losing it all. I've been sober for about 60days and am grateful to AA for getting me out of a mess. Happy Sober Day. Cecilia


Member: Sheri
Location: calif.
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 05:00 PM

Comments

Hi Sheri here, alcoholic. This is my first day trying to overcome the hangover. Got drunk last night, acted like an idiot then passed out. I hate what alcohol does to me, but like everyone of us I thought a beer or two would make me feel better. I have no control over alcohol it controls me. I want to become sober and healthy, so here goes, one day at a time.


Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 05:44 PM

Comments

Welcome to everyone new, and congrats to all of us putting days together! I have a lot of gratitute; just took me a while to realize it! I am very grateful for my sobriety and for what AA has done for me. I have such a sense of freedom and light-weightedness now that I don't have to orchestrate my drinking and drugging. Life is much simpler now. I am grateful that I didn't loose the respect of my daughter, and that I was given this chance to grow. Life is pretty good!


Member: Tony G.
Location: SE Connecticut
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 06:56 PM

Comments

My name's Tony, and I'm a member of A.A. It's good to see there's a forum on the net for this. I hope those in early recovery are actively seeking a sponsor if they don't have one, 'cause they can literally save your life. It's been brought to my attention lately that it's probably a good idea to pray on the subject. As our disease (alcoholism) is terminal, as well as cunning, baffling, and powerful, only a higher power is going to be able to overcome that. Looking to the spiritual is the best place to start finding answers to our seemingly insurmountable problems. Others are like you (and I) and our problems are not unique. This, in time, will become a great comfort for those in need. It has for me. It allows others who have successfully navigated this solution of abstinence on a one day at a time basis to advise very well on the best way to handle alcoholism. Welcome to all newcomers. You are not alone. You are all in my prayers, God bless, and keep coming. It works if you work it, you die if you don't.


Member: Valerie K
Location: California
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 07:27 PM

Comments

Hi, Valerie, alcoholic. My very first time here... just typed in aa online and here you were! I am truly grateful for that! I'm having a bit of a rough time... two babies have me somewhat isolated and while I have a fabulous sponsor, she is currently nursing her mother who is dying in the hospital. I don't want to bother her with my silly "cravings". They're not even cravings... it's just that... being alone in your own head sort of craziness. Eight months sober! Hurray!! :-)Anyway, thanks for listening. You know, it's so funny, but I feel better already! Hoping to get to a meeting tonight. 300 meetings a week here... all great!


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 07:46 PM

Comments

"Gratitude!" I got it! I've been Sober over 8 months now and my life has changed so much for the better it's unbeliveable. No, I still don't get everything I want, but I really, really, enjoy those things I have. I now enjoy my days, instead of enduring them until I could drink again. For the Grace of God, and the fellowship of AA I am grateful. I could never have done it myself. Thank you all for helping me stay Sober today! Frank


Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 07:49 PM

Comments

Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. Congrats Valerie on your eight months!! (Try reading Living Sober it has hints about cravings...etc). I can not believe that I am actually grateful today that I recently lost my job. The reason I am grateful is that it happened now and not three years ago when I was still drinking. Thank God I now have all aspects of the AA program to help me through this. I know today that my HP has a plan and he did not bring me this far to drop me on my head now.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 09:00 PM

Comments

I am grateful for another day sober - 14 days! I am grateful for GOD, because I couldn't do it without Him. I am grateful for the AA meetings I just began attending. And I am grateful to you all who share your storied and your perspectives - that helps me stay sober! Shawn - hang in there. I know a breakup can be a major thing to turn you back to alcohol - but it's not worth it. Maybe when you get sober and clear your head, you will make better choices when it comes to your life mate! God Bless you all.


Member: paul j
Location: ozarks
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 09:22 PM

Comments

does anyone here know of an aa chat room...if so, please send me info...pjtx@excite.com....thank you


Member:
Location:
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 10:04 PM

Comments

Kathy, thanks for the tip! I'll pull that book out tonight. It's one of my favorites. Books and tapes are what keep me sane when I'm unable to get to a meeting. I do have 2 commitments, so that's the very least I attend, but 2 meetings is definitely not enough. Best thing I ever did was 90 in 90.


Member: Todd
Location: St. Louis
Date: September 29, 2002
Time: 10:22 PM

Comments

Hello All!! I am Todd and I know I am alcoholic, but still have this crazy idea that I can control it, or that this is better than not drinking. I have stopped for periods, but always go back to drinking. I always end up at this site. Thank You


Member: Jack B.
Location: MI
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 12:57 AM

Comments

Jack, alcoholic,here here. Just acouple points That helped me immensly early in sobriety: 1- Alcoholism is a disease and we are not bad people trying to get good, but we are sick people trying to get BETTER! 2- Once I admitted(and accepted) the fact that I was an alcoholic, I understood what the old timers meant when they said,"I am going to die WTH the disease of alcoholism, but I do not have to die FROM it!" Above all, if you are new...............Keep coming back - Don't give up before your miracle. If you would like to chat about sobriety privately leave your email address (with my name )on your post and I will respond as quickly as possible.


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 03:12 AM

Comments

Hey you all, I am grateful for not killing anyone this weekend or myself for the matter. Drove drunk, to a club made a dumbass out of myself, lost the keys and the car. But woke up in my bed and didnt remember anything. I am grateful for the friends I have to tell me what i did and how i acted and helped me out of a situation once again. I'm grateful for the talks of how much of a serious promblem i have and to stop trying to do it myself. As you see, doing it myself doesnt quite work, Thank God, no one got hurt.I'm just so hard headed that i think I can control every situation. I'm going to a meeting tomorrow for sure.(((Sober))) this time. I don't know what I'm suppose to feel right now, but I'm trying to get the bigger picture. I feel better that I got this off my chest. Thanks for listening!!!!


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 03:23 AM

Comments

HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Gratitude, I quote,"a feeling of thankful appreciation for favors or benefits recieved; warm appreciative response to kindness; thankfulness.". I am an alcholic. Now I am not too tickled about that, but I am gratefuly I found that out and I am grateful I know what to do about it. Finding out that I was an alcoholic geting into recovey and studying the disease answered a lot of questions for me. The one thing I found out about gratitude was if I was in gratitude I was generally happy. And if I was NOT happy in my recovery, then I might drink again. Drop me a line Jack B. I would love to chat about alcoholism being a chronic, progressive and potentially fatal disease. Thank you all for being here and being a part of my sobriety today. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Bob S
Location: Heidelberg Germany
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 06:56 AM

Comments

Hi. My situation is a bit difficult to explain but I stopped taking my meds for acute diabetics and other related ailments 9/10/01 and began to drink brandy and beer. Oftentimes going days just drinking and sleeping. Aug 23 02 my brother paid me a visit and when he learned of my drinking he told me of the damage being done to my body and that my mind could not live without my body. Instant abstinence and I went immediately to see the doctor and now back on meds. Making and keeping all medical appointments and I mean all. bstring@isp.gds.net


Member: JoeE
Location: OH-USA
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 07:55 AM

Comments

Hi All, Joe here... I'm an alcoholic. Ihave read the posts here and know of the pain of trying again and again to control and to quit drinking... and the silly notion that I need to be sober to go to AA... Bill W. writes on page 11 of "As Bill Sees It" about how some just have tougher paths to recovery and that AA is the perfect place to be if you are still drinking and wanting to quit... many of us that can honestly admit that we are alcoholic will also be willing to admit that before we came to believe... drinking was, plain and simple, what we did as alcoholics and after coming to AA, found that drinking greatly reduced our chances of getting and staying sober ;-)


Member: Patricia A
Location: Lutherville, MD
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 09:06 AM

Comments

Hi all,I'm Pat, and certainly an alcoholic. I have been in and out of the AA rooms thinking that after I can control my drinking, but I can't. The longer I drink the more I drink. I am a closet alcoholic and drink only at home which has been on a daily basis. Then I wonder why I am do depressed, feel so lonely and alone, unhappy, hopeless, etc. About 3 years ago I was in a much worse place in my head and suicidal. I don't want to reach that point again ever in my life so I have started back to AA meetings last week. Since I felt embarrassed in showing my face again in those rooms, I have to tell you the warm welcome I received from all those I knew previously. They were just glad I was back. One woman told me I had made her day. I know what I need to do to stay sober and I am going to take those steps and work hard. If I don't stay sober, not only am I killing myself, I will definitely lose my two children who are everthing to me. Gratitude, yes I am most grateful for AA's and God who are there to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Anyone who wants to e-mail address is pbarnes@co.ba.md.us


Member: Patricia A
Location: Lutherville, MD
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 09:21 AM

Comments

Hi all,I'm Pat, and certainly an alcoholic. I have been in and out of the AA rooms thinking that after I can control my drinking, but I can't. The longer I drink the more I drink. I am a closet alcoholic and drink only at home which has been on a daily basis. Then I wonder why I am do depressed, feel so lonely and alone, unhappy, hopeless, etc. About 3 years ago I was in a much worse place in my head and suicidal. I don't want to reach that point again ever in my life so I have started back to AA meetings last week. Since I felt embarrassed in showing my face again in those rooms, I have to tell you the warm welcome I received from all those I knew previously. They were just glad I was back. One woman told me I had made her day. I know what I need to do to stay sober and I am going to take those steps and work hard. If I don't stay sober, not only am I killing myself, I will definitely lose my two children who are everthing to me. Gratitude, yes I am most grateful for AA's and God who are there to do for me what I cannot do for myself. Anyone who wants to e-mail address is pbarnes@co.ba.md.us


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 09:54 AM

Comments

Boy, I'm not sure that this forum should have a topic at all. I've read so many posts from confused and scared people who are just looking for an answer to a few questions. Feeling that they might have to tie in their comments to a topic might just send them away. Especially something as profound as Gratitude. When I was struggling with my drinking that was a difficult concept to get hold of. People who are hungover and flooded with guilt & shame need some spoonfeeding before they can chew on aspects that tend to come a little later in sobriety.


Member: Laurie
Location: wonderful canada
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 12:07 PM

Comments

I have a lot to be greatful for today. Yesterday I made it through 30 sober carefree days! I saw my doctor today and have found out that thus far my drinking hasn't caused me any serious damage. I just have to lose the booze weight now and start walking. I am grateful to have this second chance to live until my children are grown because I know that if I kept on drinking it wouldn't happen. I am grateful that I have a lot of great friends who don't drink. Rather ironic. I never did hang around with drinkers, just did it at home on my own very rarely in public. I am grateful that I have a place to come and read that I am not alone in this recovery process.


Member: concerned for the
Location: newcomers
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 01:05 PM

Comments

Mark D, you make a valid point. I would suggest you go to the Coffee Pot page and post it there. Keep on posting until you get an answer and or some results. I had to in order to get the link posted at the top for the previous weeks meeting. Who wants to go to the ARCHIVES and search when one is so new and or still drinking and are lucky to find their way back to the page here, forget searching the damn archives. Don't let them grind you down. We all have a voice here. Thanks for caring.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 02:44 PM

Comments

Bill P. here, still alcoholic. Just got back from a 1:00 meeting, and just checking in to say thanks to all AA's for the support that we need in order to stay sober! There's no way I could have stayed sober on my own for almost five months now. I'm learning that the key to recovery for me (and many of us) is to focus on how I can change my way of living. Now free of the compulsion to drink, I need to be as honest as I can about how I think and concentrate on being humble. Once I can become truly humble, I will have the opportunity to work all of the steps of the program. I've been focusing on steps 1,2, and 3 up to now, and I'm preparing to do step four. Thanks again and God Bless all of you. Peace.


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 03:02 PM

Comments

To "concerned for the newcomers". Posting requests or suggestions for meeting formats on the Coffee Pot will do you not much good at all, especially if you are too much of a wimp to put a name on your post. E-mail the steering committee steeringcommittee@stayingcyber.org with suggestions. The Coffee Pot is just a free form discussion meeting . The steering committee is the body that makes decisions based on a concensus and input from members. Just thought if you wanted to complain you might as well not waste your time. It was felt when this meeting was set up that meetings with a topic tended to stay more focused. Nothing requires you or anyone to stick to the topic. Frankly you annoy the shit out of this newcomer. Who appointed you to look out for me?


Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 03:22 PM

Comments

Hi all, I'm Anne & I'm an alcoholic. ((Valerie K)) - get other phone numbers and use them! You can also have a second sponsor, as long as you don't pit one against the other. Nothing you are feeling is "silly". ((FC)) Glad to hear that no physical harm was done. I hope this is the wakeup call you needed. Please let us know how you do with the meeting tomorrow. ((Mark D)) The top of this page states that comments/questions can be on or off topic. We as newcomers can post whatever we want, as often as we want. ((Patricia A)) Keep coming back (I know, it sounds trite, but it works), keep going to meetings. You are always welcomed back; I'm glad you discovered that. Good luck to us all!


Member: Beto L
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 04:23 PM

Comments

I'm Beto L an alcoholic, and by trying to apply the principles os the 12 steps of AA to my life I haven't had a drink since I walked intomy first AA meeting in 1975. I am so grateful for my sobriety that words alone cannot express it...I have to show it in my actions. Keep coming back, everyone, especially (((Miranda))). Beto


Member: Rhonda G
Location: Iowa
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 04:42 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. Rhonda here. Yesterday was 5 weeks for me and last night I got very drunk. So today is a new day. ((Shawn C.)) I understand what you are going through and would love to talk to you about it. Thanks for listening. Rhonda


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 04:49 PM

Comments

My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful to be sober today. No matter what else is going on, I remind myself each night to be grateful for that day alive and sober. Shawn C – Hang in and keep going to the meetings. Cecilia, Sheri – There is one sure way to avoid getting drunk and hangovers, and that is to not pick up the first drink. Valerie, Frank D – Congratulations on 8 months! Patricia H – WTG on 14 days! Hooray for you making it to meetings! Todd, FC – The first step requires honesty. The words “powerless over alcohol” are very important. To me, they those words tell me that I cannot stay sober by myself. I get drunk, WE stay sober. The “We” of the program, that first word in the first step, the first power in AA, can be found in meetings. Miranda – I liked what you had to say, but remember that you are worth too much to let ANYBODY, anonymous or not, give you a resentment. To all – Don’t drink and go to meetings. Thanks for all the shares. joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 06:41 PM

Comments

Well Joe, you are right and if "Concerned " wants to appoint themselves the shepherd of what they seem to feel is a flock of wet-brained sheep I suppose they should be able to do that without my getting resentful about it. So you just pat yourself on the back as much as you'd like to Concerned. Gratitude: Someone on the Coffee Pot once said they tried to cultivate an "attitude of gratitude" and that's stuck with me, because gratitude is something I have to conciously work at a lot of the time. It's easy for me to slip into just looking at the things that are wrong in my life instead of concentrating on the things that are right. It's a funny thing that when I do that though, when I start listing all the things that are right and good in my life the list is always longer than the things that are wrong. Not only that but the things that are wrong seem a lot less important. Odd how that happens.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 07:34 PM

Comments

Gratitude? Hmmm.... 'bout broke today. Oh, well the bills are all paid, I'm sober, home group tonight, got a job, had a good dinner, good conversation with daughter and her friend before they went out for the evening. The bills were not always paid when I drank. Always worried about my job. Dinner was often rice soup from the can (rice soup is name for beer fermented from rice by the way). Kids did not want to talk to me, so avoided doing so. A world of my own! I was miserable. Stayed that way. To get the attention of the kids or wife, I raised my voice a lot. I was a complete a**. Today, I feel weird for some time after the rare occassion of raising my voice. First time for more than one sentence in several years was with my sister the other day. Still felt bad, but had to rationalize nothing to justify my being upset at the time. Why am I grateful today? Well, I never had a conversation with my parents like I did with my daughter today, not once. We all enjoyed the talk we had. The job is a good one and many do not have that, even peers from the same field after the dot bomb explosion in the high tech field. Dinner was good, and I am getting vegetables that I alone would not get. The AA meeting is sure to teach me something, and I must stay teachable to stay sober. Yes, I AM grateful for all those promises that AA made, and have come true in my life! You too can have this life and level of gratitude. Go to mmetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, live the program. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Shawn C
Location: New Jersey
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 10:15 PM

Comments

I am grateful that I didn't drink today.I am grateful for the good people who reached out to me from my last posting. I am grateful for how I felt this morning when I woke up. The list goes on and on. RHONDA, you can contact me at peacefrog714@yahoo.com I would love to hear from you. last but not least, I am grateful for AA and this forum Thanks, Shawn


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: September 30, 2002
Time: 11:44 PM

Comments

Patricia - Alcoholic. I posted earlier about all the things I am grateful for, yet right now all I feel is the world coming crashing down on my head. I do have to say that I am grateful that it's too late for me to go out and get a bottle, and even though I have these horrible, consuming, claustiphobic feelings - I am fighting all the way! I have just gotten to 15 days sober and having a very hard time coping. I think I am realizing how much people around me have no respect for me - and how can I expect them to? It's been a tough day for me, but I am determined to earn that respect back! Funny - I never realized the lack of respect until now - only two weeks sober. Alcohol sucks!! Thanks to you all for your support!


Member: Karen C
Location: Michigan
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 12:32 AM

Comments

I'm Karen and an alcoholic. Gratitude!Yes I am grateful. Today marks 3 weeks of sobriety! Yeah! I just got home from a temp job, not great hours, but it will keep food on the table and give me the days to find a "real job". My AA family, yes I am grateful for all of you too.


Member: Debbie
Location: SD
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 01:08 AM

Comments

My name is Debbie, I'm an alcoholic. I am grateful for 5 weeks of sobriety. I have tried several times before to quit, the longest I have made it is 8 weeks. This times it just feels so different. I am very optimistic and very committed to doing the steps and any other "work" needed to stay sober. I am grateful that this "work" takes a lot less energy than trying to be a "functional" alcoholic. I am grateful that my Higher Power will continue to lead me down this path. Thank you :)


Member: Jennifer K.
Location: Dallas, TX
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 07:28 AM

Comments

Jennifer, grateful recovering alcoholic. Day 348. Today I am grateful that I only have to stay sober one day at a time. I am grateful for this Program and all of the tools it has afforded me to help me live life on life's terms. I am grateful that my desire to stay sober is still as strong today as it was on day one. I am grateful for this forum and all of you who share, and all of you who don't. Keep coming back. I am grateful that all I have to do is keep it simple - trust God, clean house and help others. Life doesn't have to be complicated. God bless you all, and here's to another 24 sober!


Member: Jack B.
Location: MI
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 09:08 AM

Comments

Jack, Alcoholic here. I heard the following "Guarantee" of sobriety very early in my sobriety: A fellow around tables in Orlando FL (name was Bobo) used to "guarantee" sobriety to those who would do these 5 things EVERY day. 1- Ask for help from a Higher Power in the morning 2- Talk to their sponsor. ( of course, this pre-supposes that you HAVE a sponsor!) 3- Go to a meeting. 4- Read some sobriety related literature. The Big Book is a good place to start! 5- Thank their Higher Power for that day of sobriety. Bobo used the word GUARANTEE because in over 30 years of sobriety he had NEVER heard anyone come back from a road trip and say that the day they picked up they did those 5 things! Try it!................what can you possibly lose?.....some misery? This has been working for me for 3800+ days. In fellowship, Jack B.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 09:56 AM

Comments

Hi everyone. Kim here, alcoholic. Ahhh... Gratitude. I had NONE when I first got sober. I thought that the world owed ME and when I didn't get what I wanted or things didn't turn out the way I wanted them to, I raged. I mean JEESH ~ didn't everyone see that I was getting SOBER???? Didn't I DESERVE things???? I hated my job - hated where I was living - basically wanted to overhaul my entire life to go with my new found sobriety YESTERDAY and wanted everyone to recognize my getting sober as a grand thing! Let's forget all the pain and damage KIM has caused because it's a new ball game now - I'm sober and that's all in the past!!! I had absolutely NO CLUE what gratitude was... Once the fog started to lift, I started feeling better and I began to feel gratitude for waking up on a Saturday morning without a hangover. Then, I began to feel gratitude for that job I had (and still do) that didn't FIRE me for the 2 detox stints during the Summer of 1999...when so many where jobless. When I went to meeting in the city and heard people speak of being in a shelter, I began to feel gratitude for having a roof over my head, even though I "didn't like it." See ~ I have heard in the Halls countless times that "A grateful heart will not drink." Even when the world feels like it's crashing in on my head, if I woke up sober then I have something to be grateful for because with sobriety there is hope. I have a sponsor today who's favorite expression is to have "an attitude of gratitude." When translates into, "Remember the PAIN of active alcoholism and be GRATEFUL for your sobriety - even if that's all you have - because it sure beats having no sobriety at all." Thanks for listening. ((Patricia)) One Day at A Time we will get better... we didn't get sick overnight and we aren't going to get better overnight, either. Keep stringing those sober days together - work the program of AA - and the people around you will see the difference in TIME. KCB. ((Shawn)) Nice to see you happy about waking up sober... that's the BEST feeling, isn't it? Also, I was told that when I say NO to an unhappy/unhealthy relationship, I am saying YES to me. Good going. ((everyone)) - Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today.


Member: Chris T
Location: MD
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 10:24 AM

Comments

Chris an alchoholic and Powerless over people places and things. Having a place to go to is gratitude for me. Imagine if there were no meetings to go to! Fellowship is crucial in the begininig of sobriety and throughout sobriety. I used to hang-out in bars, night clubs and any place that would accept me (not to many). Now the program has replaced all that, what a wonderful place to be! I'll gladly take another 24. Catch you guys/gals later.


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 11:14 AM

Comments

Bill P. - Alcoholic. Congrats to Jack B. for 3800+ days, Jennifer for 348 days, and Debbie for 5 weeks! I'm grateful for this fellowship we call AA. It's truly a gift from God, and I have hope today that I did not have 140 days ago. I'll coming back because already I can see that the program does work. I don't know how it works, but it works fine, if we work it. Thanks to God, the program, and all of you, I now have a chance to change the way I live my life. Peace and God Bless.


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 12:23 PM

Comments

Hi, Sarah a recovering alcoholic here. Welcome to all who are sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope. 'Gratitude', great topic for a beginners meeting. When I was a practicing alcoholic ... my very first drink, I would relax and be 'full of gratitude' for my higher power(alcohol). Now, my problems would disolve, somehow magically be fixed or I wouldn't care about my problems. But my problems didn't get fixed ...they got worse, and I got worse in trying to deal with my problems. TODAY, as a sober alcoholic, my 'gratitude' is for a "Healing Power", for the Experience, Strength and Hope shared by one and all and for the Steps and Traditions. God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the difference. A 'gratitude that really works'. Keep coming back and sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope. Thanks!


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 01:44 PM

Comments

How do you express the gratitude for freedom from decades of alcoholism. as a newcomer it did me a lot of good to ritualize my gratitude in daily prayer. I didn’t like it. I didn’t understand it, but I was so thoroughly beaten by alcohol, I no longer had the strength to fight. With that surrender, I became willing to look at my other options to drinking. AA taught me instead of a drink, I could call another drunk, go to a meeting F2F or online (see the forward to the forth edition) and seek the help of my higher power. Today I am grateful to be alive and sober. I am grateful to you for sharing your experience, strength and hope. Anne C. our Tradition 3 states “The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking”, not being stopped. Even the big book suggests if we doubt our situation we should try some controlled drinking, if you are one of us it won’t take long to figure it out if it doesn’t kill you. Please Keep coming back.


Member: kirsten
Location: montreal
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 02:25 PM

Comments

hi all! Haven;t checked you out in ages and it is so great to see all the same people here. I am grateful for my last horible night of drinking. Very few memories have come back to me, but just the horror of it remains and if it took horror for me to finally stop than so be it. I still have some shame but I know that I am okay today and that's great. The biggest thing that stands out for me is I haven't degraded myself in 66 days. I am grateful for this site and the wisdom found here in those who are newly sober. As I have made the conscious choice to not attend meetings but still need to be around sober folk, I guess I am grateful to the www! It's no mystery - there is no reason why we should hurt oursleves anymore. There's enough hard times in life without the hell of alcohol. Love to you all,k...... kaleigh_k@yahoo.com


Member: Kate S
Location: New York
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 05:02 PM

Comments

Wow! There is so much good in the world. I read all your lovely posts. So much gratitude. I feel as if I'm watching people gather around a huge candelighting ceremony and the numbers spread accross the land and sort of like the movie "Pay it Forward" the cars keep coming and the faith and tears keep building. All around the globe you all are communicating and I am very touched by this. Hope is contagieous. Much love and gratitude and ((Valerie)), it is the best gift you can give those young babies. My boys are very young and I remember dragging their diapered buns to plenty of meetings. Had I known about this then, I'd have been on the PC all night long. Giggle. ((Sean))) I know your heart is broken, but you have no idea what good is in store for you if you just put one broken hearted foot in front of the next. Don't make that man your distraction/drug. Hugs.


Member: Kate S
Location: New York
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 05:02 PM

Comments

Wow! There is so much good in the world. I read all your lovely posts. So much gratitude. I feel as if I'm watching people gather around a huge candelighting ceremony and the numbers spread accross the land and sort of like the movie "Pay it Forward" the cars keep coming and the faith and tears keep building. All around the globe you all are communicating and I am very touched by this. Hope is contagieous. Much love and gratitude and ((Valerie)), it is the best gift you can give those young babies. My boys are very young and I remember dragging their diapered buns to plenty of meetings. Had I known about this then, I'd have been on the PC all night long. Giggle. ((Sean))) I know your heart is broken, but you have no idea what good is in store for you if you just put one broken hearted foot in front of the next. Don't make that man your distraction/drug. Hugs.


Member: Paticia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 08:59 PM

Comments

Good Evening ((ALL)) and congratulations on another day sober! I am still not feeling very well, but am continuing going to meetings, and am now in the process of finding a sponsor. Life sober is hard right now, but life as a drunk wasn't life at all - just a blur. I know it will get better - I have faith in God to carry me thru. Thank you all for your support and your sharing, it helps me everyday to read your posts whether I post or not. I am grateful for this website everyday in these early days of sobriety!! God Bless!


Member: L.S.
Location: Minnesota
Date: October 01, 2002
Time: 09:15 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm hoping someone can help me out here. See, I'm trying to figure out if I'm alcoholic. I'm really confused about the whole thing and am completely miserable. I can't seem to figure it out on my own. Any advice?


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 12:44 AM

Comments

Hey L.S. Good site for you to go to is: http://alcoholics-anonymous.org/ Going to this site only you will be able to determine if you should be in A.A. or not. Its only you that can decide this. But the website, i believe has all your answers. For anyone trying to go to meeting or find one, try this site in the U.S. www.Soberplace.com Anyways this is what i have found. Good luck and keep posting. Still a newcomer, but anything I can help, I will try. I still have a lot to learn myself, We have to try and stick together, I'm sure your questions are still the one's I have for myself. Thanks for listening!!!


Member: Ardis M
Location: Florida/Calif
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 01:03 AM

Comments

Hello L.S. Here are some links to questions you can answer: --------------------------- http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org/ ------------------------------------------ IS A.A. FOR YOU? --------------------------- Only you can decide whether you want to give A.A. a try — whether you think it can help you. --------------------------------- And --- A NEW COMER ASKS --------------------- Some times it is NOT how much YOU drink, but what it DOES to YOU! ------------------- Talk is cheap, Gratitude is in the actions, an attitude of gratitude for everything: ---------- "You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you." ~~~~~ Sarah Ban Breathnach ~~~~~


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 01:26 AM

Comments

Hey there, Where are all the newcomers at??? I keep posting for faith on my part. I still know I don't have it together but am trying. ((((marie,ca)))) where are you. I haven't seen a post in days. Your not losing hope are you? Everythings counts, Would love to hear from ya!!! Hell, I know my post have'nt been the best for hope, but I keep on posting for the hope and am not giving up! This is still a tryfull battle for myself and I really don't know what the outcome for myself will be, But i'm still trying! Maybe a hopeless battle, but I will feel better about myself If i know I did'nt stop trying!!! From my last post, you can see how gone I am!!! I rather go today seeing that I tried to get a grasp on things, even it means death for my right now. I don't know how much further i can go, living my life without alchoal! I have done it 20+ years, I can't even go 12 hrs. Patheic! How am I suppose to learn again after that amount of time? If I knew I guess I would'nt be writing. Peace out Love your guys and gals feedback!


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 02:05 AM

Comments

I wasn't grateful at all when I first stopped drinking. I was angry and resentful. When I heard people talking about having to cultivate an attitude of gratitude I just knew that they couldn't have had problems like mine as they would know I had nothing to be grateful for. I knew I had a drinking problem but didn't for one minute think that it was the cause of all the problems in my life. I drank because I had so many problems for heavens sake! But as my head started to clear, and that took a while because I had to keep having a drink when my problems became overwhelming, I started to see how distorted my vision was. That if I stayed sober long enough I would have a chance to sort my life out and and more importantly start to see what an emotional mess I was in. I realised that all these grateful alcoholics were grateful because they had something that I had not got yet. As I persevered I became less resentful at being an alcoholic and not being able to drink, and started to feel grateful that I was sober enough to start changing my life around. I found that when I emphasised the positive aspects of my life it made me feel more positive. It took a lot of work because I am not a naturally grateful person...I spent far too much of my life looking at all the things I didn't have. My head was not clear enough at first to understand just how life enhancing and necessary the 12 steps were, but I had to have faith that they would work for me eventually if I just kept putting one sober day on top of another. All the grateful alcoholics I read about here gave me that faith. And now I can honestly say that I am grateful too that I have managed to stay sober for just over a year and my life is far better than I could ever have imagined. Love Yvonne


Member: Dave
Location: England
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 04:26 AM

Comments

Gratitude? I am grateful to be alive, and to have found this site. Today is day one.


Member: Patricia H.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 11:39 AM

Comments

Good day to ((EVERYONE)). ((FC)) - I am still here and barely holding on - but have stayed sober two weeks (Day 17 - longer than any other time except my pregnancies) - which I am grateful for. I was wondering where ((MARIE)) went too - she e-mailed me, I e-mailed her back and then nothing. I hope I didn't say anything to scare her away - I only shared my own experiences with this crazy disease. Keep trying FC - I know exactly how your feeling, but just keep coming here, it helps me everyday. Whether I post or not. Have you gone to meetings yet? GOD BLESS ALL - AND HAVE A GREAT DAY!


Member: Holly S.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 02:24 PM

Comments

Day 1, again....Holly here, alcoholic. I have finally hit a new low. I've never done anything like what I did the last time I drank (two days ago...) I just stopped drinking late last night. I don't know how I managed to come into work, although I didn't make it yesterday. I am hating myself so much right now because of my actions. How and when will I ever get this? I've been to rehab even and still this disease creeps up on me. I will lose everything if I don't stop. Good luck to all others and hopefully I'll have a better day tomorrow. good 24 hours.


Member: Chris T
Location: MD
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 02:50 PM

Comments

Dave in ENGLAND, your in the right place. No one that I know of volunteered to come to AA. We are broguht to AA by some kind of vehicle, judges, mom, spouse, supervisor, significant other or the infamous go to AA or "else" and the "else" really sucks. The most important people in AA are the newcomers. It reminds us that we are just as close to that first drink no matter how much sobriety we have. Always remember 3 things, don't drink, go to meetings and pray. I would suggest not replacing meetings with a www-meeting. I don't think it is the same. However, it is still a viable tool. Just my opion. Your quality of life will be much healthier if your physically with people sharing your experience strength and hope. Chris T MD


Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 02:55 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Chris and I've proven to myself once again that I'm an alcoholic. This will be my first day sober and I will make it all day. I really needed to read all your posts here. You've given me some hope that I can feel gratitude one day soon.


Member: AnneC
Location: Canada
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 03:51 PM

Comments

CraigL - thank you very much for reaching out to me with your comments and understanding, I really do appreciate it. I am very grateful for this site and the people on it. Laurie (My Fellow Canadian) - congrats on 30 sober carefree days. You certainly sound high on life, not booze. KimD - very inspiring post, keep up the good work. KateS - I agree "HOPE" is contageous, thanks. LS - You sound like you are coming from the same place I am but with help from this site and the caring people on it, we will hopefully figure it out before it's too late. I checked out the site FC and ArdisM suggested and I found it very helpful, thanks to both of you. I wonder also where the newcomers have gone. Where are you DebD?? Madelaine I hope you read this. I e-mailed you at the address you gave me but I haven't heard anything back. Where are you??? Hope you are OK and still fighting this curse. Thanks for somewhere to go everyday for support. I really am truly grateful. God Bless Everyone. You are all in my prayers.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Double Dipping...
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 04:31 PM

Comments

((Holly)) - This past drunk is the ONLY one that really matters because it can be your LAST. Treatment center you say? Me two - 2 detoxes in 3 months - and I drank when I got out of both of them, once within a week and the 2nd time within HOURS. You don't EVER have to feel this way again... I hope you can get to a meeting tonight to hear the message of HOPE that AA brings to us with this shitty disease. Perhaps you are at a jumping off point with Step 1 - realizing that you are truly powerless over alcohol and that when you drink your life is unmanageable? We have all been where you are at right now, filled with guilt, shame, remorse, hopelessness and despair. I am here to tell you - you ARE NOT hopeless - you CAN get better and learn how to NOT drink for 1 24 hour period. You are not unique - millions of others have been where you are now and are now recovering from alcoholism 1 Day at a Time. ((Holly)) I hope you get to a meeting tonight- today is as good as any time to start, right? Take care.


Member: Cassie
Location: USA
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 06:40 PM

Comments

I've been coming in here and reading for maybe the past 2 weeks. I have nothing enlightening to add tho. I'm trying to return to the fold after many years...many of them sober or not drinking but the last 2....drinking. I'm just grateful you're all here and sharing. Thank you.


Member: Pete J.
Location: MA
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 07:48 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pete and I'm an alcoholic. I've been denying this fact, and my binge drinking has made my wife miserable. She finally threatened to leave me after a bad night last week at an office party (I haven't had a drink since). I will go to my first AA meeting this Saturday. I'm grateful that my wife didn't leave me and I'm also grateful for this site which has helped alleviate my fears about going to a meeting. Pete J.


Member: Pat H.
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 08:44 PM

Comments

Hi Folks: Sorry for not posting sooner, but I have been busy with work and personal issues. Celebrated 3 months clean & sober on September 29th. In my previous 15 or so years in AA, I thought alcoholism was a form of "marijuana deficiency!!" It took a long time to let go of that one. Lots of work with the steps is key for me. My first 5th is coming along too. It would have been finished sooner but due to circumstances beyond both my sponsor's & my control, it had to be done via telephone, once a week for ˝ hour to an hour at a time. When you have over 500 resentments like I did and goodness knows how many fears, it is to say the least lengthy. Now I know what they talk about when they say the problem with alcoholics is a perce5oin problem due to selfness and self-centeredness manifested in 100's of different forms. God Bless you all & will post again soon.


Member: Pat. H
Location: Labrador Straits, Canada
Date: October 02, 2002
Time: 08:46 PM

Comments

For those who didn't get the misspelled word it is perception.


Member: Billy Joe
Location: Texas
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 12:25 AM

Comments

1 month sober today and full of gratitude(among other things)! I have never seen a group of people so willing to help others and expect nothing in return. Keep coming back!


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 12:35 AM

Comments

Thanks for asking, (((Patricia H, Michigan))). Haven't went this week but boy ol boy was planning everynight to go. People talk about 24 hrs, I'm lucky if I can go 12 hrs without losing my mind. I have been trying and tried going Monday all day long, which I did but almost had a heart attack. If I'm gonna try to get over these withdrawl symptoms, its better on the weekend, even though the weekends are the hardest for me. I am no longer enjoying the drink, I have to drink and feed the disease for my insanity right now. To function in the daily world. Sad Huh!!!!! But I come here to post Honestly, I'm trying so hard for Friday cause I plan to go to a meeting Sober!!Hope I get there, cause really its all talk till I take action!Congrats to you on your days, I know It defentely isn't easy, But your doing it! I just want to get where your at. Keep posting everyone it makes me see the light a little closer than what I'm doing on my own. Thanks for listening again!! Peace out!


Member: Stacy E
Location: Kentucky
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 04:30 AM

Comments

I'm Stacy and I have 25 days sober. I don't post very often but I hang out every day and I am really glad you're all here. Especially today. I just don't feel very grateful right now. Having been a solitary drinker I thought that sobriety would alleviate my loneliness but so far that hasn't been the case. I work with a large group of people who are big partiers and now that I'm sober I have even less in common with them than I did when I was still drinking. I have attended some AA meetings and although I find them very helpful, I just haven't experienced the fellowship that I so often see expressed on this site. My very dearest friend informed me that her new husband has convinced her that she needs to back away from our friendship because I depend on her too much. I have been very careful to see that our friendship has stayed balanced and I have not depended on her any more than she has depended on me. I think its a matter of jealousy and control on his part. I also have to wonder if the fact that they are still drinking might have something to do with it. When I quit, I told them that I love them whether they drink or not. I just don't understand why, so soon into my sobriety, I have to give up my best friend. I feel very lonely, confused and afraid. I'm sure that many of you have much bigger problems than this, but I just needed to share. Thanks for being here.


Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 06:24 AM

Comments

Hi all. 56 days sober today and I don't believe all that has happened to me in that time - my first attempt at sobriety having been a heavy drinker for 35 years or so. Going to face to face meetings works for me - some are more significant than others - and I need to go every day at present. But emotionally I'm now stronger, physically I feel fitter, lost some weight, sleeping like a baby (previously was it sleep or and alcoholic slumber?) and life is becoming great. Sure I still have bad days but they do pass and the next is better than ever before. Don't give up hope - go to meetings and thank God, your Higher power or just other members of AA for the chance you've now got to get well. I'm not religious but something is driving me on. Those of you who are desparate - please believe me it WORKS! I was the most sceptical person you could meet when I first went to a meeting but now I am a convert!


Member: Bob S
Location: Heidelberg Germany
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 06:44 AM

Comments

6 weeks of sobriety and no cravings. It seems as if I have never input alcohol of any type into my system but I know such is not the case.


Member: Beth H.
Location: Canada
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 07:13 AM

Comments

Morning everyone! ((((FC)))) Physical withdrawal can not only be uncomfortable, it can be dangerous. Maybe you should see your doctor just to make sure you'll be okay? When I first detoxed I was very afraid of having seizures. I also had heart palpitations, and horrible night-sweats. So GRATEFUL to be past that point! (((Yvonne))) I love your comments! They always go right to my heart. Thank-you! This newcomer actually enjoys the challenge of staying on topic. I have so much bubbling up inside me, and making sure I gear it to the topic of the week helps me stay focused, and sometimes helps me see my feelings from a place that I wouldn't have otherwise. Part of recovery is changing the way you think - and I find a weekly topic to be useful to me in that area. Just a thought. I am not yet grateful to be an alcoholic. I'm still angry about it. But I am extremely grateful that my rock bottom was just falling down the stairs, and not "falling" off a bridge or a tall building. I am grateful that I never went to jail, set the house on fire, or killed anyone. These aren't very positive or noble things, but I have to think this way, to remember that my past is fixed. I never did anything really horrible when I was drunk. But if I don't stay sober, it could still happen. So I'm staying grateful, not taking anything for granted, not feeling like I deserve something I'm not willing to earn. I was sober yesterday, I am sober today, and when tomorrow comes, I'm glad I have another chance to enjoy it without alcohol. Love to ((((ALL)))).


Member: Miranda C
Location: Vermont, USA
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 07:20 AM

Comments

Stacy E, It takes time to feel "fellowship" at the meetings. It took several months before I even felt comfortable being there at all. Part of my problem is that I'm shy and was reluctant to let people get to know me. It just takes time. FC, all the luck in the world to you, you seem to be trying so hard. To my mind it would be better just to go to meetings even if you aren't sober. Lots of people do go to meetings when they are still daily drinkers, I know that was the case with me. If the withdrawal symptoms are just too much for you have you considered going into a detox program? Congratulations to everyone who made it through another day without booze and prayers for all who didn't. Keep on keeping on.


Member: Dave
Location: England
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 08:30 AM

Comments

Hi everyone, Day one comes around about three times a month at the moment, but at least they ARE coming round. Six months ago I had to go back at least two years to find the last day one. Sorry about all the numbers!


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 09:19 AM

Comments

Bill P., alcoholic. FC - Yea, keep an eye on your withdrawal symtoms. When I quit, I had really bad shakes, lightheadedness, and sweats for about 5 days. My sponsor said that I should go to the hospital if they started to get worst, but they didn't. They can be dangerous, so watch closely. I'm happy to hear that you are becoming more and more honest about alcohol. I know just what you mean. Keep the faith and put it into action, it does work, and you have many supporters in the fellowship that will help you. John - Congrats on 56 days! Man, I relate so much to what you said! I'm 143 days sober today, and I can also agree with you that it does work! I sleep at night (like a baby), wake up , say my prayers to God, do the best I can just for today, thank God before I go to sleep, wake up and do it again. I feel better than I have in 15 years. I still have a lot of challenges ahead, and life keeps coming at me, but now have the tools of the program to take me through it, not around it. What a feeling. Again, thanks for your example to all of us. It really is the "WE" that makes this program work. Peace.


Member: Karen C
Location: Michigan
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 12:06 PM

Comments

Gratitude! Karen C, alcoholic with 23 days sober! How my life has changed in 23 days. I have gone from "home alone" drinking, to having 1 night job that I just now quit and 2 job offers. Don't even have the desire to celebrate with a "cold one". The progam works, life is good.


Member: Marie
Location: ca
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 12:14 PM

Comments

Marie here - Even tho i haven't been posting, I have been reading daily - FC - if you could get some help with the withdrawal symtoms it might help tremendously with getting to the meetings etc - do you have a sympathetic MD?? - if you don't have a medical plan, maybe call AA and ask for some advice on de-toxing - I'm thinkin' of ya and you are trying so DAMN hard and your honesty is great. I'll be thinking positive thoughts for you - hang in there. This drinking thing is making me nuts - I don't know why I keep wondering if I am an alcoholic - I "cut down" from 1 1/1 bottles wine to 1 bottle per night and thinking I'm doing so great. The nights I don't drink I feel deprived - like on a diet. Feel bummed when thinking of weekend with no alc. or happy hour with no alc., or watching will & grace with no alc., or no nice dinner out with no wine etc - I guess I want someone to tell me yes, absolutely you are an alcoholic and need to quit totally - i'm not sure what i'm doing and thats why I haven't posted in a few days - just reading and taking it all in. Shawn, if you didn't turn to booze after your break-up then I think you crossed a big hurdle - he's not worth your sobriety and well-being. Break-ups are one of the toughest things in life. I love reading everyones posts and they are immensly helpful. Take care everyone.


Member: Chris H.
Location: KS
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 03:44 PM

Comments

Hi, Chris H. again. Day two and I'm feeling some gratitude for not feeling like crap when I get up. And for noticing the little things around me since I'm not in a haze of alcohol. I don't have f2f meetings anywhere around me so will try to post here each day. Thanks for your posts. They keep us newcomers coming back.


Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 08:07 PM

Comments

((Marie)) I've never met a "normal" drinker who worried about their drinking, or who missed not drinking. Whether I want to term myself an alcoholic or a problem drinker or one who overdid the wine, I was not a "normal" drinker. Therefore, I stopped. Now life is much easier, not having to worry about how much I drank, was it too much, etc. Try not to get hung up on the semantics. ((Stacy)) I've been going to meetings for over 4 months, and I haven't struck up any friendships yet. But I do feel much more comfortable and can see that in time, with some effort on my part, that it can happen. The loneliness hurts, but don't give up. And congrats to ((everyone)) just starting out.


Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 08:48 PM

Comments

I have been sober 6 days. I got completely overwhelmed with things today. I'm not able to deal with everything on my own. I have looked within myself and still a glass of wine is my only solace sometimes. I don't know how to depend on AA , as when I go there , it seems there are people who are barely functional and I am not at that state. I am really trying but feel that no matter where I turn, I keep finding dead ends. I really want to find a happy medium.


Member: Marie
Location: ca
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 11:02 PM

Comments

Tami R - Seems alot of people write in about not being able to relate to people who are barely functional - and I am one of them. I know I have a problem yet I guess I am borderline enough that I am not sure what to do. I think I am beyond borderline, I don't know anymore - anyway that is the GREAT think about this "site" is that there are alot of people out here just wondering what to do about their situation and it makes me feel better just connecting with everyone here - keep us posted on the feedback you get.


Member: Marie
Location: Ca
Date: October 03, 2002
Time: 11:09 PM

Comments

Annie M -Just read your post after I just wrote to TammiR -that really hit home what you said -that's why I keep reading these posts - I have no one else to "talk" to and it makes me feel a little less insane


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 12:08 AM

Comments

Hey to all, Glad to see you all here today and trying to do a good job staying sober. (((Marie, CA))) thanks for posting tonight, was getting worried about you! I totally have to agree with (((Annie M, NY))) she pretty much said everything. I try and post something everyday, good or bad, I have to take little baby steps into recovery, and this is just one of them. I know we all have our different lifes and scenerios but we are all here for "Alcohol" abuse. Thanks to everyone who corresponded on my last post, Yeh the withdrawl symtoms are way up there, but I have the weekend to fight this, whether I like it or not. Its no longer a choice for myself, just reality. I actually have a half day tomorrow and am trying to find every meeting I can get a hold of on the hour basis! simply tells ya, If I don't feel my schedule with meetings tomorrow I won't make it thru the weekend!I must say also, I finally found the keys I lost last weekend, They are at the club. I want to go in the daytime when they are closed for business, But might have to pick them up at night when the party is getting started. I am afraid to go and recover my keys, cause I just might not make it out of the club. Any suggestions??? Yeh, I know "Casper the ghost" is gonna go get them for me, right. I will try to be strong!!!Anyways for anybody wanting a new site to see about Alchohol or AA, check this site out,http://www.whalenbrothers.com/sg/aathings/lvsober/lsober.htm I know the http is long, but well worth it. It answers a lot of questions I had for myself! Anyways, I hope the next time I post I can actually being saying I'm sober and going to meetings! Thanks for listening! Will pray for everyone out there tonight!!!


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 12:47 AM

Comments

Ok, I guess I was'nt quite finished. I read a really good post tonight at the "Discussion Meeting" from (((Tami H, Washington State))) should check it out, Its probably the same letter I would like to write!!! Good night champs!


Member: chrissi s
Location: uk - milton keynes
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 06:13 AM

Comments

Hi all Chrissi grateful alcoholic here. I yo-yoed in and out of AA for 12 years, but just could not get it. I got to the stage where I couldn't live with it and couldn't live without it. I had one foot on the merrygoround and just could not get off. My twisted head told me all sorts of things not least that because my husband loved me so much he would never leave me. I went back to AA in April, because there was no where else to run, and I kept praying to who knows what that I really wanted this and that I had to have it or something terrible was going to happen to me. That's when I finally found a god of my understanding. I drank again, twice, and have not now had a drink since 12 July 2002. I had a moment of clarity where I could see my marriage crumbling, my children turning their backs on me and my life being in total ruins. I surrendered. It was at this point that I lost the desire to drink. When I was drinking and struggling to fight this horrible disease I felt totally miserable. Now I realise that I wasn't fighting at all - this was the disease keeping me in its grip. I realise now that I only started fighting when I surrendered. We only start fighting when we stop fighting!!!! I have not drunk for nearly 3 months and don't want to. This is my miracle - I know I could not do this on my own. I tried for long enough. I have heard this said many times "If I can do it - you can do it". With the help of AA, my God, my programme I am getting better - one day at a time. Today I have a sponsor who I trust 100% and tell her everything that is going on with me. Something I would never do. I couldn't even be honest with myself. AA never helped me when I needed it, it only started to work when I wanted it bad enough and I do. I have to work hard to get where I want to be. We can do it, if we work for it. God Bless. Chrissi chrissismall@yahoo.com I gave in


Member: chrissi s
Location: uk - milton keynes
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 06:13 AM

Comments

Hi all Chrissi grateful alcoholic here. I yo-yoed in and out of AA for 12 years, but just could not get it. I got to the stage where I couldn't live with it and couldn't live without it. I had one foot on the merrygoround and just could not get off. My twisted head told me all sorts of things not least that because my husband loved me so much he would never leave me. I went back to AA in April, because there was no where else to run, and I kept praying to who knows what that I really wanted this and that I had to have it or something terrible was going to happen to me. That's when I finally found a god of my understanding. I drank again, twice, and have not now had a drink since 12 July 2002. I had a moment of clarity where I could see my marriage crumbling, my children turning their backs on me and my life being in total ruins. I surrendered. It was at this point that I lost the desire to drink. When I was drinking and struggling to fight this horrible disease I felt totally miserable. Now I realise that I wasn't fighting at all - this was the disease keeping me in its grip. I realise now that I only started fighting when I surrendered. We only start fighting when we stop fighting!!!! I have not drunk for nearly 3 months and don't want to. This is my miracle - I know I could not do this on my own. I tried for long enough. I have heard this said many times "If I can do it - you can do it". With the help of AA, my God, my programme I am getting better - one day at a time. Today I have a sponsor who I trust 100% and tell her everything that is going on with me. Something I would never do. I couldn't even be honest with myself. AA never helped me when I needed it, it only started to work when I wanted it bad enough and I do. I have to work hard to get where I want to be. We can do it, if we work for it. God Bless. Chrissi chrissismall@yahoo.com I gave in


Member: Tom M
Location: S. Fla
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 06:44 AM

Comments

Tom M. here, Grateful, by the grace of God, recovering alcoholic/addict. To Tami R. Ask yourself how "functional", the people you met in rhe bars were? I always claimed to be a "functioal alcoholic" when I was using. Of course I wasn't as funtional as I could have been ( and have become). Now I am a "functional" recovering alcoholic. The best part is that this time I am "functional" enough to realize the difference. P.S. if you keep coming back you will find the "happy", but there ain't no "medium". Half measures avail us nothing. God bless.


Member: Cassandra R.
Location: Australia
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 07:22 AM

Comments

Hi, First time poster. I have agoraphobia so can't get to a face to face meeting but have become aware that I need some help and support. I stopped drinking about 2 weeks ago because of a health problem. Stomach pains. I panicked and thought it was my liver but I have a stomach ulcer or acidity problem due to drinking and bulimia. I knew that I liked to drink. I work very hard physically with horses and think at the end of a hard day I deserve a wine or two or three or sometimes a bottle or two. It was becoming out of control and I guess deep down I knew that. I also occasionally smoke pot and need to not lapse into that as well. I also take over the counter pain killers/calmatives when my nerves are bad and I need to stop that too. Since stopping drinking, I can't believe how terribly anxious and out of control emotionally I feel. I know it's the alchohol. I'm not craving a drink to get drunk but craving anything to take this terrible anxiety away. I am completely out of control emotionally and can barely function. I am young and attractive and the label alchoholic doesn't go with my appearance. I guess I'm kidding myself. I need help and support.


Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 09:31 AM

Comments

Bill in Michigan - thanks for your kind words and encouragement. Three wonderful things have happened since I last posted: 1. I went to my doctor today for the results of my blood tests, taken a week ago (8 weeks into sobriety) and they're all showing normal. This proves I don't metabolise alcohol like normal people because when I was drinking I had some results which showed I was very ill - triglyceride levels.This means I should, medically, never drink again. I'd already decided on that from a mental standpoint!So I've just got to get on with it! 2. Went to a face 2 face meeting on Thursday and a woman attended her first meeting - it was brilliant. 3. Another f2f last night and another new member - a young girl of perhaps 25 - we all shared our experiences. I can help these people and I'm looking forward to doing so. Keep posting and coming back - it works!


Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 09:47 AM

Comments

Bill P., still alcoholic. - John, thanks for the response. Yea, I seem to be getting a lot healthy physically too, now that the booze is staying out of my system. You sound good, so keep up the good work. HOW - (honesty openess, and willingness), seems to be the dey for my recovery. It's not easy, but when I'm honest with myself, really honest, I can find spiritual growth. I believe this is a spiritual illness. As long as we work to grow spiritually, our sobriety gets more and more solid. To this alcoholic, the most important thing in life is to stay sober. Doing this will give me the freedom of choices and opportunity to continue recovery from a disease that literally was kicking my butt. Good to hear from you and keep in touch! FC - have a friend pick up the keys from the club. That's the last place you want to go. Hang in there, and it's good to hear from you. Keep in touch.


Member: Philomena ~date of sobriety~November 4, 1994
Location: Haceinda Hts, So California
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 11:09 AM

Comments

Good morning ALL, Philomena here, grateful alcoholic, it is 8:10 a.m. No time to read Early Sobriety, just enough time to pass on a morning meditation. Wanted to give all of you something that was freely given to me and what I choose to read each morning that helps me through my day. (((All Newcomers))) WELCOME! Suggestions; Get to face to face meetings, if possible, don't drink, one day at a time, keep coming back. May you all find your Higher Power and find Peace in and throughout you day. My spiritual sharing, from the Daily Reflections paperback book, begins here. October 4, DAILY REFLECTIONS A NECESSARY PRUNING . . . . we know that the pains of drinking had to come before sobriety, and emotional turmoil before serenity. Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, p.94 I love spending time in my garden feeding and pruning my beautiful flowers. One day, as I was busily snipping away, a neighbor stopped by. She commented, "Oh! Your plants are so beautiful, it seems such a shame to cut them back." I replied, "I know how you feel, but the excess must be removed so they can grow stronger and healthier." Later I thought that perhaps my plants feel pain, but God and I know it's part of the plan and I've seen the results. I was quickly reminded of my precious AA program and how we all grow through pain. I ask God to prune me when it's time, so I can grow. Thank you for letting me share. ***EACH AND EVERYONE HERE HAVE A GOOD DAY!*** THIS A GROUP HUG (((FOR ALL OF YOU HERE NOW & ANYONE COMING HERE LATER. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHARING & FOR BEING HERE))) ALL of you are in my thoughts and prayers. KCB...Keep coming back. Remember to keep it simple. One day at a time. Take Care. Peace. (/o\) //_\\ God bless you (((ALL))), love, Philomena


Member: marie
Location: ca
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 12:29 PM

Comments

To Cassandra ; I find that when I don't drink I also experience alot of anxiety - my husband is out of town alot and when I drink I get thru the night fine (tho feel like crap am) and when I don't drink I am checking and re-checking doors, looking out windows into the woods and coming unglued every time the dogs bark! I am working on controlling that and would like to without alcohol and wake up with that good, in control, clear-headed feeling. This is truly a struggle. Good luck to you. FC - walk if you have to - don't go there bud!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Member: Erin L.
Location: Michigan
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 04:17 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I have finally come to the conclusion that I am indeed an alcholic. This scares me considerably and I plan on attending a meeting tonight, hopefully with a friend if not by myself. I want to change the world in which i live. I have quit my job as a bartender today to help a bit. I am scared. But i do believe as i always have is that i must live one day at a time. Thanks for listening. ~EB


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Gratitude Ridge, CA
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 05:24 PM

Comments

((Erin)) and anyone else just starting out -Welcome to newfound sobriety and hang on for the wildest ride of your life! On the subject of Gratitude - I recall quite well making those danged lists in early sobriety. Finding one thing was hard enough and I sure didn't think having to find 5 each day was very fair of my sponsor to expect of me at the time. I also sure didn't think "living" should be on the list at all back then! Grin. Today, as I was doing my best to keep my cool whilst sunbathing in the middle of an acorn storm (see CP post of earlier today), I found myself saying the following praises to God: Thank you, God, for giving me and all of us this huge capacity for love. Thank you for giving us the capacity for compassion for one another. Thank you for giving us the awareness that we will never be alone. And it just went on from there for about 15 minutes. What a huge change from a few short 24-ODAAT's, eh? The lists I referred to making in the first part of my list were from both 1986 and 1999 - silly sponsors - did they really think I'd get anything out of them? Oh, yeah, right - Thank you God for AA, our Sponsors and for Sobriety!


Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 06:48 PM

Comments

Hey to all, Thanks for the advise, Have a friend pick up the keys at the club for me, Duuuuhhhh, Why did'nt I think about that myself! Thanks for the advise thats exactly what I did. My friends now have the keys, Thank God, I did'nt have to go myself! My gratitude for today is having people like you to tell me my common senses, and for friends willing to help me out and take time out of their schedule to help me out! Anyways about out the door again, just wanted to corresponde a little, Enjoy the weekend!!! and try not to drink!!!


Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 09:35 PM

Comments

Hi- thanks to all who wrote me. I feel ridiculous that I said what I said about the AA people being barely functional. Tonights meeting was rivotting and the people who spoke touched my heart. I have this ego that needs to be deflated and it seems that when I feel weak, is when I criticize others. I am not anything but grateful for the fellowship I have found at AA. These people will help me get sober.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 10:07 PM

Comments

So many great posts. I have something to be grateful for today, in that I got to read them. When I came to AA, there was little to be thankful for, or so I thought. I had the same problem that most of us aloholics do. I was a terribly insecure egotist! Today, I can easily be thankful for awaking, and consciencely breathing. I love to read the posts of those struggling because it confirms my decision to stay with AA and not drink. Today, I make half of what I did when I quit. My (much loved)wife divorced me. While neither of these were exactly what I would have chosen, neither was a good enough reason to drink. For THAT I am thankful. There just aren't any mornings that when praying, I cannot think of a reason to be thankful that day. It is much easier to have a good day when one starts their day out with an attitude of gratitude. I know that I really feel the difference when I have not been honestly grateful in my morning prayers. That day will often be one to forget because I have started it in such a manner that nothing will go right. I hope each one who reads this makes this day sober. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Showing
Location: Gratitude
Date: October 04, 2002
Time: 11:20 PM

Comments

Being grateful One A.A. member recalls that, even during the worst of her drinking career, she never lost her faith. "I had a firm, unshakable belief-in disaster," she explains. "Every morning, almost my first conscious thought was 'Oh, my God, I wonder what new troubles are going to hit me today!'" When someone knocked at the door, she was sure it was for an unpleasant reason. She confidently expected only bills and other bad news in the mail. And if the telephone rang, she sighed in anticipation of dreary tidings. Such an enormous expenditure of energy in negative speculations is familiar to many of us; we remember the dark cast of mind that prevailed during the active stage of our own alcoholism. Some of it, to be sure, may have been simply a pharmacological effect of alcohol, which is a depressant drug. When we get the last molecules of alcohol out of the system, a lot of the gloom disappears along with it. But the habit of thinking in such neurotically depressed ways can stay with some of us, we have found, until we learn to spot it and care-fully root it out. This is no prescription for mindless Pollyanna-ism. We do not pretend that hardships are meaningless, nor deny that everyone has mountains to climb from time to time. Grief really hurts, and so do other kinds of pain. However, now that we are free of alcohol, we have much more control over our thinking. We have a broader range of thoughts, in minds that are no longer so blurred. The thoughts we choose to spend time on in any given 24 hours can strongly influence the complexion of our feeling for that day-bright and healthy, or murky and disheartened. Since so much of our thinking used to be intricately associated with our drinking life-style, we have found it worthwhile to look closely at our thinking habits and find different and better ways of using our minds. The following illustrations may not be an exact fit for you, but even if the words are new, perhaps your emotions will be moved to recognize familiar emotional tunes accompanying them. Some are intentionally exaggerated, to make the point unmistakably clear. Others may, at first glance, look trivial. Scores of us have found, though, that easy little changes are a good starting point for a big strong recovery. When our favorite toddler falls, bumps her head, and squalls, it's fairly simple to see whether she is seriously hurt or just frightened. Then we have a choice: We can either shriek hysterically because the child got hurt or frightened, and carry on over what could have happened; or we can keep our cool and be comforting, grateful that no serious harm occurred. When our 90-year old grandfather, long ill and unhappy, finally dies, we again have a choice. We can insist that the only thing to do is rage in grief and anger at the surprise of it, or wallow in guilt-and perhaps drink in either case. Or we can, besides being sad, remember that he did have a long, often good and happy life; that we did try to be good to him and assure him of our continuing love; and that his suffering and unhappiness are now over. It is doubtful that he would appreciate our using his passing as an excuse to get drunk and endanger our health. When we finally get to visit a place long dreamed of, we can concentrate on the inconveniences of our lodging and the weather, the passing of the good old days, and the fact that we have only a few days or weeks to spare. Or we can be grateful that we finally got there at all, and keep adding to a mental list of the delights we can find if we look for them. We can watch out for a tendency to say, "Yes, but-" in response to any optimistic, complimentary, or positive statement. A friend's good luck or his youthful appearance, or a celebrity's plug for a charity may tempt us to say sourly, "Yes, but-" But . . . does this thinking habit help anyone-including ourselves? Can't we let something good simply be? Can't we just be pleased about it, rather than trying to downgrade it? Those who try to quit smoking realize two possibilities are open: (1) continual moaning about how hard it is, "This time it won't work, either," and "See, damn it, I just lit another one"; or (2) enjoying a deep smoke4ree breath when we think of it, being glad an hour has passed without a drag, and, even when a cigarette is unconsciously started, congratulating ourselves for putting it out without smoking it down to a stub. If one of us wins only $500 in a sweepstakes that has a $50,000 top prize, the sensible mood is easy to pick out. It is not bitterness at losing the biggest pot. We continually find opportunities to make similar considered choices, and our experience convinces us that feeling gratitude is far more wholesome, makes staying sober much easier. It will come as a pleasant surprise to discover that it is not difficult to develop the habit of gratitude if we just make some effort. Many of us were reluctant to try. But the results, we have to admit, did speak for themselves. It may sting at first to bite the cynical comment from the tip of our tongue. We may have to swallow twice before getting out a mildly positive remark of the type we called saccharine during our drinking life. But it soon comes easier, and can become a strong and comfortable force in our recovery. Life was meant to be enjoyed, and we mean to enjoy it. Riffling back through the memories of our drinking past, some of us spot another manifestation of negativism. But it, too, is a type of behavior many have learned to change, and the change in our actions has also brought better attitudes and an improvement in our feelings. For some reason, we spent a lot of time thinking or noting or talking about how wrong or mistaken so many other people persistently were. (Whether they really were or not is irrelevant to the welcome change in our own feelings now.) For some, the change begins with a tentative willingness to wait and see, to accept for a moment the hypothesis that the other person just possibly might be right. Before rushing to judgment, we suspend our own argument, listen carefully, and watch for the outcome. It may, or may not, prove us to be in the wrong. That is not the important issue here. Whichever way the chips fall, we have at least temporarily freed ourselves from our driving need to be always right, or one-up. We have found that a sincere "I don't know" can be rejuvenating. Saying, "I'm wrong, you're right" is invigorating when we are sufficiently at ease with ourselves not to be bothered about actually being in the wrong. We are left feeling relaxed and thankful that we can be open to new ideas. The finest scientists are always alert to new evidence which may prove their own theories wrong, so they can discard any false notions and move closer to the ultimate truth they are seeking. When we achieve a similar openness, we find our instant negativism has begun to evaporate. Perhaps an illustration can clarify the relationship between the desire to be always right (the negativism of seeing a'-most everyone else as wrong), and the freedom to be wrong ourselves-to grasp and use new ideas and other help for staying sober. Many of us, when drinking, were deeply sure for years that our own drinking was harmless. We were not necessarily smart-alecky about it, but when we heard a clergyman, a psychiatrist, or an A.A. member talk about alcoholism, we were quick to observe that our drinking was different, that we did not need to do any of the things those people suggested. Or even if we could admit that we were having a bit of trouble with our drinking, we were sure we could lick it on our own. Thus we shut the door against new information and help. And behind that door our drinking went on, of course. Our troubles had to be pretty dire, and we had to begin to feel pretty hopeless before we could open up a little bit and let in some fresh light and help. For thousands of us, one of the clearest memories which incorporate the wisdom of "being grateful" is our recollection of what we originally thought and said about Alcoholics Anonymous when it first came to our attention: "It's fine for them, but I'm not that bad, so it isn't for me." "I've met a couple of former A.A.'s drunk in barrooms. From what they say, I can tell it wouldn't work for me, either." "I knew a fellow who joined A.A. He turned into a rigid, fanatic, dull, intolerant teetotaler." "All that God stuff and going to meetings turn me off. Anyhow, I've never been a joiner." Now, honesty makes us admit that we spent more time concentrating on those negative opinions, and reinforcing our own reasons for drinking, than we spent actually looking into A.A. with an open mind. Our investigation of it was hardly scientific. Rather, it was superficial and pessimistic-a search for things not to like. We neither talked with many of the sober members, nor read at depth the quantities of literature by and about A.A. If we did not like a few things or people we first encountered in A.A., we gave up. We had tried it, hadn't we? (Remember the man who said he didn't like reading? He had already read a book and didn't like it!) It is clear now that we could have acted differently. We could have invested some time in searching out things we did like in A.A., ways we could go along with it, statements and ideas we did agree with. We could have been thankful that A.A. welcomes casual visitors, and that we were not required to jump in headlong. We could have been grateful that A.A. has no dues or fees and demands no adherence to any doctrine, rules, or rituals. If some talkative A.A.'s weren't to our taste, we could have been pleased that so many others kept quiet, or spoke more to our liking. We could have kept trying to find out why so many eminent professional experts have endorsed A.A. over and over for many years. It must be doing something right! Staying sober can boil down to just such a choice, we have learned. We can spend hours thinking of reasons that we want or need or intend to take a drink. Or we can spend the same time listing reasons that drinking is not good for us and abstaining is more healthful, and listing things we can do instead of drinking. Each of us makes that choice in his or her own way. We are pleased when anyone else chooses to make a decision like ours. But whether you are interested in A.A. or not, we offer good wishes to anyone starting out to stay sober in any way. We keep being grateful that we are free to do it in the ways described here. From "Living Sober"


Member: Jennifer K.
Location: Dallas TX
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 02:26 AM

Comments

Jennifer, GRA, day 352...Sorry for the double-dip, but couldn't help but respond to everyone who posted (and those who didn't) about the question "Am I an alcoholic?" Simply stated in the Big Book, page 21 - "...the real alcoholic...at some stage of his drinking career (he) begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink." I certainly qualify! Not only could I not stop once I started, I couldn't stop starting! As far as functional, dysfunctional - you hit your bottom when you stop digging. Anytime's a great time to retire from gravedigging. Much love to all! One more day, God willing ;)


Member: Tom M.
Location: S. Fl.
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 07:28 AM

Comments

Atta girl Tami.KCB.


Member: marie
Location: ca
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 11:25 AM

Comments

To Corrinne - didn't I see in one of your posts that you live in Camino Ca?? Is that by any chance in No. Ca. I'm grateful for everyone's honesty on this site - I guess I need to be honest to myself and admit I am more than borderline - I am an alcoholic. Experiencing yet another morning of regret.


Member: Ger N
Location: Ireland
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 01:22 PM

Comments

Hi I am a heavy drinker. Mostly at the weekend, but i get reallt drunk friday and sat nights, and spend the next day dying of hang overs. I also got for 4-5 drinks a few times during the week to "de stress". I dont think I am an alcoholic...but maybe I am? When does one cross the line. I am 30 and the whole social scene moves around bars and drinks. when I am hung over I swear I will never do it again but once friday nite comes and I have a few drinks it all seems like fun. I would like to stop but maybe I am afraid to? Do I have a problem? Any help is greatly appreciated my mail is g4ie@yahoo.com


Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 02:35 PM

Comments

Hi. Cecilia, alcoholic. This is for paulj and anyone else who wants to try an AA chat room. Try Yahoo chat under the health chat rooms. Love to all and happy sober day.


Member: Don A
Location: Arkansas
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 03:19 PM

Comments

Ger N: I am a recovered alkie sober in the Fellowship for ll642 days (if you calculator isn't handy, that is 31 yrs 10 mos thereabouts). It is for you to understand for youself if alcohol is a problem in your life...and then if it is, you can work on fixing the problem...like putting the plug in the jug and keeping it there. The best help I know of is the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. It has been my observation that anyone questioning their status, alcoholic or not...it is almost a certainty that they are. I always suggest to such a person that they get involved in the Fellowship of AA for 90 days or so, and at the end of that time, if they feel they are not alcoholic, and the desire to stop drinking and stay stopped is not there, by not drinking for this short period of time they haven't hurt anyone including themselves. Then there is a big plus for them! In those 90 days they'd probably saved a bundle of money and can now afford to go out and really hang one on, big time! My life today is an adventure in living that has well been worth the effort. This adventure is available to anyone who has the desire to stop drinking...one day at a time. Good luck, Ger!


Member: M
Location: Canada
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 04:58 PM

Comments

Ger in Ireland, YOu sound like me After a big drunk I swear off booze but come friday i do it again and I should have learned by now after all the crap i have been through I want to start my sobriety before I turn 50


Member: John Gomez
Location: Arizona
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 07:48 PM

Comments

Hello I was wondering if anyone could help me, I am a student who wants information on the chip that is handed to a individual when someone is sober for a certain amount of time. What is on this item and what color is it. thank you.


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 08:57 PM

Comments

(Stacy E)It takes a while to make connections with people especially if you're someone who was a solitary drinker. I was a solitary drinker for the last and heaviest part of my drinking. I considered parties and events like New Year's Eve "Amateur Hour" as far as drinking went. I was a Pro. For people who aren't barflies I think the lonliness aspect runs especially deep. We weren't hooking up with people when we were filled with booze and it doesn't get any easier when we're not under the influence. I'm afraid that it just takes time. You might try some different meetings. Maybe on the weekend you can travel a little further and check out a meeting. As far as your friend goes- it could be jealousy on the husband's part. More likely, if they are drinkers it could be threatening to him if he thinks that his wife might be influenced by you. If your friend stops drinking or even starts questioning, his fun is at risk. Don't get in the middle just keep the door open. And, Stacy please post in a few days after you pick up your 1 month chip.


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: October 05, 2002
Time: 08:58 PM

Comments

(Stacy E)It takes a while to make connections with people especially if you're someone who was a solitary drinker. I was a solitary drinker for the last and heaviest part of my drinking. I considered parties and events like New Year's Eve "Amateur Hour" as far as drinking went. I was a Pro. For people who aren't barflies I think the lonliness aspect runs especially deep. We weren't hooking up with people when we were filled with booze and it doesn't get any easier when we're not under the influence. I'm afraid that it just takes time. You might try some different meetings. Maybe on the weekend you can travel a little further and check out a meeting. As far as your friend goes- it could be jealousy on the husband's part. More likely, if they are drinkers it could be threatening to him if he thinks that his wife might be influenced by you. If your friend stops drinking or even starts questioning, his fun is at risk. Don't get in the middle just keep the door open. And, Stacy please post in a few days after you pick up your 1 month chip.


Member: xatii
Location:
Date: October 06, 2002
Time: 02:05 AM

Comments

They lied to us.Every day they lied to us.The world told us who to be,how to live,how to love,who to worship,where when and how to be.We went along because we didn't know any better,but in our quiet moments we knew it was wrong.When we looked in the mirror we knew we were frauds.The only way we could survive was to blot out that voice with anything we could find.It almost killed most of us.If you are at this site you may be starting to wake up.You have the opportunity to see the world as it really is.Most people walk around their entire lives never questioning or knowing who they are and the world around them.You have the chance.Give it all up.Faith,belief,knowledge,certainty,and most of all self.Throw it all away and start over.You have been given a glimpse of a world that you can't possibly imagine.Let go of the lies they told you.You have a chance to be more than you ever dreamed.Live.....


Member: Dave S
Location: Texas
Date: October 06, 2002
Time: 02:23 AM

Comments

I haven't been able to go more than 2 days w/out a drink of some sort for the past year. I poured out a new bottle of vodka tonight, told my wife I was quitting. I don't think I am up to going to a "real" AA meeting yet so I am here now... telling complete strangers about my weaknesses and somehow hoping to find a friend(s) to support me. I am worried that I can't do this alone.