Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 09:41 AM

Comments

I cannot believe I am the first post this morning... what a riot. Getting active... how appropriate. I am an alcoholic... newly sober... just got my 90 day chip. Friday night was my groups 16 year anniversary so I brought cookies. whoopie!! And this Monday is the first night I am going on a commitment with the group. I guess I fear getting overly involved in anything. In the past I have become "Volunteer of the Year" in many groups only to find myself exhausted and totally burnt out and ineffective in my own life and giving to everyone else but me. But I do see how giving of yourself in AA blesses me in many ways. So therein is the fine line of balance. May we all have a glorious sober day. God bless and room hugs... love, Kat


Member: Sarah
Location: Kansas City
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 10:19 AM

Comments

Getting active? Absolutely! Getting active in AA--NOT necessarily! For me it's been more about getting busy/active in living in the real world. AA is not the real world despite what some may say and there is absolutely nothing more harmful than when an individual gets duped into thinking, believing, and doing nothing but going to meeting after meeting under the guise of "getting active." Sure MOST of us need to develop a sober support system and change PPT's, but certainly not ALL. Some, like myself, actually only need change SOME of those people, places, and things. I mean hell, I was really "getting active" while drinking in a number of ways, the point is to get active in a more positive and healthy fashion. That may or may not include AA meetings on occasion, but for me personally although I've been sober a good long while it's a rarity. I did indeed change a few things and "get active" in life by loving all other human beings, not just other recovered or recovering alkies. I mean hey, they talk about emptying ashtrays as "getting involved and active," give me a break. Why would I not only only do something that is totally against my own principles but support others in killing themselves, that's NOT love for my fellow man-period. One does not have to be involved in AA to get and stay sober and it can indeed be an overindulgent and very deterimental thing, basically a substitute addiction. The perfect analogy is trading a bar-stool for a chair in aa meetings. Hey, everyone's free to do what they want, but it's very UNhealthy to go too many of those meetings-period. I'm active most of all in love for humanity and living life and that's not done very well within the confined boundaries which too many meetings place upon me, they are but a minute element of my sobriety and more importantly--my life. Me--I get active in prayer and meditation and let from that activity flow the rest of my existence as I focus more on the eternal than just the ideology of getting active by emptying ashtrays or whatever. I love AA, but it is not the end all and be all of life nor death for me nor anyone else despite whatever they may fool themselves into believing. God Bless you all and I hope and pray all find their true path in this life in order to recieve the more important in the continuum..........


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 11:03 AM

Comments

Well said Sarah


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 11:40 AM

Comments

clever intelligent suttle & THINKING! ... (Mike NY Mark NY father Miketurd Batman Johnson Sarah Kathy D.M. Bertha etc etc etc . . . & today is Marshall) AA's too lame dumb stupid to spot the use of multi identities at work to destroy carry on we dont even notice


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 12:01 PM

Comments

eent-ehhh---- wrong worng wrong buddyboy


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 12:01 PM

Comments

as usual!


Member: Lillian
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 12:24 PM

Comments

Who is Buddyboy?Is he a fictional character?Does he have a name?


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 12:43 PM

Comments

WOW Sarah - right on sister! Well said indeed. I've felt the pressure to succomb to the AA "group mentality" and my husband has been the voice of reason and helping me to see that. I really do want to find my own way through this, by praying and meditating. Although I've never heard that expression, trading a barstool for a chair at a meeting, I have seen it in my brief attendance and I don't want that to happen to me. I said to my sponsor "Don't you get tired of talking about it all the time?" she is definitely one of the ones who pushes getting overly invovled. Thanks for being a voice of reason like my husband - I really needed to hear that. I need to find my own way that works for me.


Member: SALLY V>
Location: TEXAS
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 01:01 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Sally & I'm an alcoholic/addict. I;ve been around A.A. since 1983 & on the 28th of this month I will have 3 months. Getting active is a good topic. Service work is good for the soul, not to mention good for my recovery. I stopped getting active back in March of 2002 & as a result of that( plus not doing alot of other things) I relapsed after 6 years.If you are new in recovery, GET INVOLVED!!Thanks for letting me share!!


Member: Jillian
Location: NYC
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 01:25 PM

Comments

Lillian--Buddyboy is the fictional character that the anonymous poster was wrongly inferring was all the people listed in his/her post as one person. Sorry, it's an on-going line of illogical and paranoid thinking by many here, you'll just have to overlook it or do as I and play with it and laugh heartily at some of the silliness. It can actually be highly therapuetic to just take it for kicks and not read too much into it. Anyways, they will constantly harass people who don't acquiesce to their brainwashing so you have to develop some healthy defense mechanisms to keep your sanity. That's my ES&H on getting active in life---Sarah's right on target! You go girl!!!


Member: me
Location: for Kat
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 01:35 PM

Comments

Kat, listen to husband dear, he I'm sure loves you much more than any stranger you meet in an AA meeting ever will. Plus men are smarter too...just kidding, just kidding......Seriously, he sounds like the voice of reason as you said and should be at minimum listened to ver attentively and given due consideration is all I really mean. The decision is still yours alone to make.......


Member: Its me buddy boy
Location: for all the ladies.
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 02:09 PM

Comments

Hello im buddyboy.. the one and only.. i got my name from the cops..... that's where the term for guys like me origonated. I was the kind of guy that would mentally abuse women. how did i do it? well ((for eg.)) i would sleep around on girlfriend... one day she caught me in the sack with another. She puts it on me about the fact that i am unfaithful and she's leaving. Well buddyboy does his famous act. he tells her he did no such thing, that she must be halucinating, he tells her she's really got issues and she's paranoid because he loves no other and is undyingly devoted to her..and she might not believe it right this second, but she will very shortly because she's insane; because thats what living with someone who continually washes your brain with his lies and confusion does to a person. buddy constantly reminds her of "how much she means to him" and "how much he loves her" and how beautiful she is" and so on add nausem and all the while his actions show the exact opposite, and because from time to time what's left of her gut instinct tells her something is wrong.. he must wash her brain of that nonsense. If he senses her 'getting smart' he'll step up the brain washing tactics.. or step up the efforts of chipping away at her self esteem, he's got to keep her under control. This is the essence of mental abuse in domestic relationships)),Or else he uses very subtle put downs... like "I don't know why they invited 'only me and 'not you honey"..(giving her the subtle message of "people don't like you" but they like me" What would she do without this nice guy who puts up with a loser like herself is how she feels with him. very sad.... meanwhile they did invite her, but he didn't tell her that, because he was hoping to get down with another woman who he knew was going to be there..And if she was in the habit of checking out everything he says (which she's not because what the hell is that in a relationship!)) but if she did she would have known that others were wondering why she wasnt' there... buddy just told them she didn't want to come cause she was feeling sick.(another lie) anyhow back to the story: she's now leaving as she caught him this time red handed..what does he do? he grabs at other straws... (anything to have his self serving cake and eat it too) buddy is the epitomy of self serving at the expense of anyone)) well she still doesn't buy it, he now resorts to yelling, shouting at her, he's got to have controll over the bitch, and get what he needs out of her.. (it always makes him crazy when she calls him on any of his lie's)) he' hates that most of all, because it's the cornerstone of his act.. feeling very threatened now angry and probably scared,, he resorts to "if won't she listen to my words, i can always get physical; she'll listen to the fist in a hurry! and as she leaves he continues this behaviour outside of thier apartment.... publicly humiliating her, and himself...(this serves an even greater purpose.. because now she feels embarrased and humiliated by the way he treats her.. so good for buddy, cause that's his goal...chip away at her self esteem until he's got a completely downtrodden wreck of a woman who is much easier for him to mold just the way he like her. easy to manipulate, dependant on him, and maybe even afraid of him. he better hope she stays down and never figures it out, and if she does, he better trade her in for a new and even more vulnerable model. there are literally 1000's of buddyboy's..... the cops get to meet them all the time.. the courts, the lawyers and the justice system make millions off buddie boy's every year. very lucritive buisness for them... all thanx to people like buddy boy... who don't want to take responsibility for there problem, then become the problem of society and state. And probably most cases involve the use and abuse of drugs and alcohol, but certainly not all these cases. its just uncanny how alcoholics who are stone cold sober can continue this act. for years and years... ive seen it.. and it made me want to work harder and do the steps even more...


Member: Paul Harvey
Location: The Rest of The Story
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 02:34 PM

Comments

And you thought I was kidding about the paranoia? Now you can also see the how the men-bashing riuns rampant as alot of AA women have these, most in fact, have those terrible and sad experiences from their drunk lives and yat refuse to ever let go of that and move on. "Every" man becomes such and it doesn't matter who or what they really are, theses women are in fact scarred for life from their previous choices in men and also their own actions. They know nothing but being a victim in both a state of drunkenness and sobriety, which may be a little better or maybe worse depending on the individual women's spiritual state. Either way, the poor women are still encouraged to play the victim only the term is rephrased to "empowered" in order to make them believe they are actually doing something different despite the facts to the contrary. They often even turn the tables and make men their victims(true ones at that) as they become obsessed with believing in their righteousness and the "women's empowerment movement" as being the ultimate standard by which to judge a man. They become the sexual aggressor and say that it's "liberating and healthy" to do such and sometimes attempt to justify it by saying the male victim was told up front and was fully aware of what I wanted(sex-alone for sex's sake). In fact this plays on the male psyche as all men are taught to believe that that is not only ok, but even good if not great! However, a man of a deep spiritual nature, i.e. many in AA, know somewhere in their heart this to be a profound fallacy of the general culture and yet have the women "play them like a fiddle" under the self-delusion that they aren't emotionally/psychologically/spiritually attached, and then when the abused woman turned abuser discards him to side like a piece of meat, hence "turning the tables," the pitiful male goes back to drinking as he has a deep seated resentment and can not reveal the truth most often to even himself. Usually they just don't figure it out unless severe spiritual intercession is made by a man/woman of God, and they end up who knows where....... That is the rest of the story in AA and what happens to male's "get active" with women in AA! It is my experience, strength, and hope for all that we may one day be able to live in peace in harmony together--it just won't be in this life.......


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 03:24 PM

Comments

Jane C..alcoholic..BuddyBoy and Paul Harvey...a lot of wisdom has been passed on for a lot of women.. I've never been involved with any relationships in AA with men..I was married when I got sober the first time..so I had all the guidence I could ever hope for from my husband..But, WOW, if that's what some men do to women, I'm grateful that I've never had to deal with it. I did, however had my Mom trying her best, all my life, to make me think it was always me and never her..God bless her heart..I also met my BF almost a year before starting to post here, so again,no involvement with men in AA..and I thank God at this point that I as yet haven't been to FTF meetings,but I know I'll stay away from any problems anyone may cause, I've always been a loner anyway, so it's kind of hard to get me out and about..I relapsed after 18 years of staying sober.and after about 7 years of AA meetings we moved around so much it was hard getting back into meetings..I went to very few, but still stayed sober..now after about 3 years of starting and stopping, I've been sober for 9 weeks...not long, but for me it's truly a miracle from God..the only Higher Power I've ever had in my life...God Bless All and may he give His Grace to us for another sober day..


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 03:29 PM

Comments

Jane C..Forgot to add, that I was thanking God for keeping me sober, while not going to meetings YET... They will be in my future, and I pray it's soon..I have to pray harder that I'll get to meetings..


Member:
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 04:19 PM

Comments

those hairy cookies there look mighty nasty [ya know, the ones on the top left of the screen here]


Member: run
Location: fast
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:04 PM

Comments

For the newcomer run from this site fast.This is not what aa is about these people have more problems.This will not work for your better they are truly sick.So don't waste your time here life is to short to listen to these people.I will not be back here this is just a waste of time.


Member: run
Location: fast
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:05 PM

Comments

For the newcomer run from this site fast.This is not what aa is about these people have more problems.This will not work for your better they are truly sick.So don't waste your time here life is to short to listen to these people.I will not be back here this is just a waste of time.


Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:06 PM

Comments

Hi. Bill here Alcoholic from Arizona. Good share Sarah. I did not trade a bar stool for a seat in AA. By that I mean I did not trade isolating in booze for isolating in recovery. There are many ways to get and stay sober. One of my daughters got sober in the church. I chose AA and thus respect and work and put into my life as much as possible the Steps,Traditions, and Concepts of Service of AA. Action in recovery? You bet. My first sponsor and I met as equals. I was sober a week him one day. He also taught me fly fishing. We would camp on the South Platte. Fish and go through the big book. I was not sober very long before a former employer asked if I wanted my old job back. It was a one man shift. I had called him over a year previous and told him I would be a little late :) At one year another sponsor asked me to start thinking about where I would like to be next year. That got me into college. I chose a restricted major with only 15 seats. My world is expanding. Only 8 graduated. Then I went into the field. Not without some bumps. I quit two jobs on principle. I turned down a job on principle. I got fired from one and one research center went broke and closed. Action is the key. I firmly believe that God will do for me what I cannot do for myself. I also believe just as strongly that He will not do for me what I can. Pray? you bet I do. But prayer not followed by action is useless. I don't think I have ever made 90 meetings in 90 days. Except maybe in the spirit of the 3rd tradition, I have not the foggiest where that came from. I wish someone would tell me.Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. Love you, Bill


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:10 PM

Comments

Thank you Sarah. You said it well. I also enjoyed your post on the Discussion Meeting and just posted there with some ideas on prayer and meditation. I agree that 'getting active" certainly doesn't have to be only in AA. You can surely do some good in AA, but there are many other ways to do good. And doing good makes you feel better about yourself and love life even more. I think the best receiving is really in the giving. I pray for another 24 sober hours for us all.


Member: bikerbigboy
Location: heellaintforme-ihope
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:11 PM

Comments

Jane dollface, what about the sorry women in AA that do it sober to the men--didn't you read the rest of the story? It's the vicious cycle that is perpetuated by the women much, much more than any fault the men play in it!


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 05:14 PM

Comments

I believe in human empowerment. I wish everyone could find their own power rather than trying to beat out men or men beating on women to find their power. I, like ((Jane c)) am so thankful that I have never been in a relationship that buddyboy describes. It is sad and scary. I met a friend yesterday who told me her teenage son who is 17 drinks, smokes cigarettes and pot and she said "I don't know what to do so I just drink a lot of wine." I think kids who don't know how to find their power from within, get their power and identity from anything that makes them feel better than they were. This conversation about victims and empowerment needs to be channeled into all of us finding our own inner power and purpose so that we can then inspire others to do the same - especially teens who are lost and confused and looking for direction. I believe true power comes from knowing who you are and what you do well and how that serves the world. I had a conversation with my 15 year old son today and I told him about the 17 year old kid. My son is a very talented athelete and I told him that the high of great achievement is better than any buzz from drugs or alcohol. He really listened and I am so thankful for that experience. Thanks for letting me share and hope you're all having a very happy and sober day!


Member: Lillian
Location:
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 08:34 PM

Comments

OK,now I understand the Buddyboy character,but how in the world can someone arrive at such a conclusion about someone without actually living as a Buddyboy victim with the person that they are talking about.If in fact the poster has lived with this Buddyboy character that is being trashed on this site then the two of them needs some serious counseling and rehash their failed relation on a website.If this person who is doing the bashing has not actually lived with this Buddyboy character then she is way out of line to brand someone with that title who is posting on this site.Sounds as if the basher could very well become a top rated counselor for hire.


Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: September 21, 2003
Time: 11:15 PM

Comments

I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. If you'd like a way to being getting active in AA, one way is to arrive early to meetings and make coffee or stay late and clean up after the meeting. Don't underestimate it. For one thing, it's something that needs to be done. I've been doing it for over two and a half years, and one of the guys who helps has been doing it for over twenty years. Both of us believe that had we not started staying after meetings to clean up we wouldn't have been able to stay sober very long.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 12:21 AM

Comments

Hi ((All)), Hey (((Gage)))! I washed coffee pots and it is very theraputic! Now I am a bookie for a commitment meeting. This morning I went to a bookie breakfast in Portand Maine and it was a blast. I got my calender full of incoming groups and stuffed myself on the buffet. I also stay busy and involved in AA because it helps keep me sober. I do AA directly proportunate to how I drank and I drank a lot. I am taking one way of life and trading it in for another or a barstool I guess. I like this life much better than my old drinking one. I stayed busy today and tonight I went to a meeting and shared my fear of my surgery tomorrow. This will be my 8th so I'm not new to going under the knife. My fear is more based on the fact that I will quit smoking as of bedtime tonight. My quit date was to be one year sober but surgery bumped it up a week. I came to the conclusion sharing that smoking and drinking helped me fill the hole inside me and that is why it is so hard to stop. After the meeting someone suggested taking up knitting which is something I want to try anyway. I was asked to go on a hike for the homeless next Sunday and it is a small mountain but I have not hiked it in a few years so I wonder how I will do? It will be fun to see. I came away from the meeting tonight feeling better and much more positive about tomorrow. God is working in my life and doing for me what I could not do for myself. I just had to stop struggling. It is like the saying, Don't wrestle with a pig because you will get dirty and the pig likes it! Night all and keep me in your prayers. Kelly :)


Member: Jane C..
Location: Alaska
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 03:22 AM

Comments

Jane C..again and still alcoholic.. I did the coffee and cleanup in the past at meetings, but it's hard to pin me down on many things..If I say I will do something, I will do it.. no matter what..so I do a lot of thinking before I commit myself to things unless I'm absolutely sure I will be able to..I'm not going to any meetings yet, but I can say that the flaw in my character is that I'm never late for anything..always on time or early..I have a hard time being late..so to me it is a flaw... I want to be late or just not showup for just one thing in my life..people in my life have always been in a hurry needlessly, so I'm really tuned into at least being on time..and at meetings, it seems almost disrespectful to be late.mostly to the one who may be speaking..I'm not active in AA for now, but I would never make meetings such a big part of my life,that I couldn't do all the things that can fill life..I'm busy everyday from the minute I get up in the AM till I sack out for the night..I can't even sit through a TV show without someone needin me to take them somewhere or to stop here on my way to wherever and pick this or other up on my way..I don't mind because it's mostly for my BF and his son..plus I have the dogs to tend to and as much as I love them, they take up a lot of my time..I have no children living at home, but I still feel like the housekeeper, chauffeur,cook and bottlewasher.. and fitting in time to get to my own medical appointments, such as Dentists..and others..I don't have the time to do anymore..I can only fit in a few meetings a week if I were going now..in the meantime,I know I'm keeping very active.. (BikerBoy)..I did say that my Mom was and is at times still guilty of manipulatng with her stories to make me feel like I'm the one who's nuts,just like some men who play that game with women..so I definitely know firsthand that women can play head games too..God Bless us all with another sober day, and I really love ya'all..I think it's OK for me to feel that way and to let you know..


Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson Michigan
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 03:28 AM

Comments

Getting Active to me means getting off the pity pot and doing something. Anything is better than drinking or thinking about drinking. I needed to fill the void left from not drinking. AA filled it at first. Once I came to grips with the program I then branched out to other areas such as work, hobbies, helping others, reading, etc. Idle hands are the devil's workshop.


Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 08:04 AM

Comments

When experienced AA members say they found "getting active" helpful in thier recovery of alcoholism, they usually mean getting active in and around AA. Some of these activities may seem unimportant, like helping to put away folding chairs, or helping to set up and clean up the coffee table. Doing thses simple tasks can be a way of being an ice breaker and feeling comfortable, more at ease at AA and getting to know other AA members. As you stay around an AA group, you will observe other tasks that need to be done. If being active in the group is of interest, then step up and try it out. In AA no one is above or below anyone else. AA's take turns doing services needed for group meetings and other AA fuctions. No professional skill or education is needed. You may find, as many of us have, that within the AA group, these services are easy to do and they do wonders for us. Outside of AA, I found exercising (I got into running my first year sober) of great benefit. I volunteered from years two through four as a track coach for Special Olympics, which I throughly enjoyed. AA opened up my spiritual life, I then sought out a church that gave me more understanding, and that aligned with my own beleifs. The community I joined via finding my match, opened life and the path I'm traveling on even further. Thanks for letting me share, may peace and contented sobriety be us all, HOPE for ((Everyone)) janbbparis@yahoo.com


Member: L-RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 09:56 AM

Comments

Getting active for me was joining a group helping with the tea and coffee and taking a turn at program chairman getting to other meets meeting new friends and getting top tables! doing prison work and twelve step work,in general keeping active let me stay sober and kept this guys brain sane! regards L-RAY


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 09:59 AM

Comments

I have one commitment, I am treasurer on Monday nights, and you are right - there is just something about doing my part that makes me feel good. My first commitment was chip girl at another meeting and that was great. I also raise my hand often to read. I don't do a whole lot, but just those little things have gotten people to know my name and face - it's really nice when people see me and genuinly smile and say "Hi, how are you?"


Member: TRACY
Location: uk
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 10:06 AM

Comments

Hi I am litreture secretary at the worst meeting I have ever been to, I hate it but hey who am I to decide whats bad and whats good, so I just do it, God gave it to me so I better get on with. KAT~ I to went through a stage of wanting to do it my way without AA but guess what I nearly drank again. I surrender to AA before I surrender to drink. As one guy told me after I said I have a real resentment to AA it's trying to brain wash me, He said and your brain ddidn't need brain washing. I'll leave it at that nuff said! tracy.v@ntlworld.com


Member:
Location:
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 12:43 PM

Comments

Don't forget to empty those ashtytrays!!! Get involved dammit! Empty some ashtrys---NOW I said!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 12:43 PM

Comments

Don't forget to empty those ashtytrays!!! Get involved dammit! Empty some ashtrys---NOW I said!


Member: Stacy D
Location: Richmond Hill, GA
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 02:26 PM

Comments

Emptying ashtrays makes me horny. I love the smell of freshly extinguished cigarrettes. I guess I'm kinda like a dog, cause I smell a few butts...and I'm ready to get active (if you know what I mean).


Member: marty
Location: with the party
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 04:06 PM

Comments

good one stace darlin, you horny yet? if not let me get ya some trays full of ashes-ashes and we can go down and get active together, huh girl?


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 04:38 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. Kim here, alcoholic. "Getting Active" is a good topic. I was told that by getting active in the fellowship - namely a homegroup - that your chance of relapse are less. "You can't fall off the wagon by sitting in the middle of it - but you can by hanging around the edges." For many of us, after we put the booze down, our lives had a void that had been previously filled with alcohol. For those just starting out in recovery, it's good insurance against a slip to fill that time void with AA - meetings, going on commitments, doing service work, etc. You begin to get to know people and them you - time is being spent in and around others in recovery - being "a part of" helps that phone ring - friendships are made- we stay sober one day at a time and are there to pass the message on to others with less time than ourselves when the time is right.... it goes on and on. It's also a fabulous way to get out of the "poor me's" and into action. Take care ((all)).


Member: joejoe
Location: vegas
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 04:45 PM

Comments

pleeeeez, the regurgitation of that crap is enough to make me puke kimmyd. what does the d stand for-dummmy cant think for myself and just regurgitate crap that isnt even necessarily true? thats what it sounds like it stnds for thats fer sure.icccccckkk that stuff is sickeneing


Member: joker
Location: not jokin
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 04:52 PM

Comments

stacy girl, can i smell your ash----tray?


Member: Clifford
Location: Just as Bill W. said,more will be revealed and it was.Here is proof for the nonbelievers.
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 05:02 PM

Comments

http://www.morerevealed.com/mr/chap9.htm The above link is a must read for any newcomer.It is of the utmost importance to always know as much as you can possibly know about anything that you are contemplating becoming involved in.This link pulls no punches and is right on the mark about everything that I have experienced in the rooms of AA.It is a very good read and can help a newcomer to decide if this miraculous program is for them.I read it before joining AA and it really let me know exactly what to expect.Again it hit the mark on every phase of the program just as described.Some may see this information as AA bashing,but quite to the contrary it was an educational experience to me.I went to AA fully knowing what to expect and I was able to bypass the jargon and put things immediately into action in order to get myself well and I did get well thanks to the link above.


Member: A Miraculously STUPID
Location: Program is what he meant to say!@
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 05:04 PM

Comments

Are you for real psychopath from hell Clifford?


Member: The REAL
Location: Deal
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 05:05 PM

Comments

Miracle? Yeah, that people can be soooo easily brainwashed and STUPID as to buy this shit!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 05:08 PM

Comments

Look Real Deal,just read the link and get informed buddyboy.


Member: Real
Location: Deal
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 06:08 PM

Comments

i wrote that shit when i was drinking like a fisjh trying to brainwash you fools into submission to my will for you to quit drinking my supply.......oh lookie---it worked!!!!!


Member: Pam B - Sobergirl91 at hotmail dot com
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 08:09 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic - Getting active in the AA program has always been good for me in a variety of ways. - 1st-most to learn & practice that my thoughts must always be on what I might do to help others/contribute (my old way had been such self-centered focus only on what can I take)>>>>> I was fearful - didn't want to be reaching my hand out & saying "Welcome - I'm Pam & I'm new" to greet ea one coming in the door for the mtg - but doing it anyway broke the ice for me. >>>>> I was very nervous showing up early to help set up the mtg & make coffee but I began getting to know other members of the home group I had joined & that eventually developed into making sober friends & feeling comfortable riding w/a bunch to speaker committments - some of the most fun times & enlightening help I received for my sobriety took place during those rides. - & accepting invites to weekend get togethers they were having or all going to - & began learning how to have fun & actually ENJOY life without alcohol :0 >>>>> I felt so uncomfortable & anxious going along to just listen when my sponsor & her friend took me along on 12 Step calls but I learned how simple reaching out to help another alcoholic is. & felt hope that I may be able to do so too one day when asked "are you sober too? - how long?" (x # of days would be my big total contribution) & receiving the response of being really impressed encouraged & motivated me toward a real wanting to be ABLE to help others & get thru my 12 Steps so I could. >>>>> I gradually began calling other AA's just to ask how their day is going & eventually could talk on the phone without hyperventilating anxiety attacks.>>>>> I needed time to practice learning to get active & established in the AA program before I was ready to add getting active in additional outreach around my community, in my church & expanded to overseas missionary work. >>>>> From the beginning I practiced at home learning to apply getting active & being considerate of others in my family as ea new awareness how I might do so came to me - & that was the basis that brought lots of needed healing to us as a family. - more than a blessing! >>>>> I have learned & have grown from every instance of getting active in the AA program - it is a program of ACTION - the basic foundation of my sobriety is the Action of living these 12 Steps one day at a time. I am so grateful for the Life that God (my HP) has given me thru these 12 Steps & this program because I have had to rely on Him for the guidance, ability, strength & courage to "just do it" every step of the way. Thank you all for being here. Pam


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 10:07 PM

Comments

Thanks ((Pam and Clifford)), I enjoyed your shares and link. I always wondered where the loaded phrases in AA came from. 90 meetings in 90 days for instance. I know they drilled that into me in rehab. Being (desperate) I did it and it became a personal challenge. I remember my car died and took three days at the garage. I called every phone number I had and got rides. In the above link it describes 90 in 90 pretty well... >>> Little direct advice is normally given at a newcomer meeting but what is given is presented carefully. The most important step in rescuing the "still suffering alcoholic" is to get them to commit to attending more meetings. The only direct advice that may be given can be summed up by the cliché "90 meetings in 90 days." One popular way of expressing this and exhorting the newcomer to return is "Just stick around for 90 days and we will refund your misery." The suggestion may also be of the form "If you are new here, you are too new to know if you need AA, so just go to 90 meetings in 90 days and then you can decide." >>> End quote. Worked for me! ((Pam)) I could relate to getting invoved with breaking the ice. That turned into friendships and eveolved into 12th step work. My first 12th step call was a extemely fufilling experience. I had so much compassion for the woman because she was "one of us". She has since come in and out a couple times but she keeps coming back. Last week another woman went out that was on that same call. She is back now but struggling with the mental obsession. I never slam a person that slips because it could be me next, I'm an alcoholic afterall! Everything I heard on that 12th step call I said drunk. "I wish I was dead, I'm a lousy mother/ human being, I want to stop but I can't, just kill me", etc. Yep, that horrible mental torture of end stage drinking. The hideous Four Horseman, Terror, Bewilderment, Frustration and Despair. I also lost a good friend last week that had many 24 hours in AA. I never heard him say a bad thing about anyone. I never heard him feel sorry for himself. He dedicated the remainder of his short life to helping educate young and old. I am richer having known him. With that I'm off to do some more reading. Watch out for "The Hideous Four Horseman", pg. 151. They'll kick your ass everytime! Kelly ;)


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 10:56 PM

Comments

My good friends Obituary, There are some really inspiring people in AA, Kevin was one of them... Kevin Murphy, local AIDS activist DOVER — Kevin Michael Murphy, 46, local AIDS activist, died at his home in Dover on Wednesday, Sept. 17, 2003. He was known throughout the region as an untiring proponent of justice for people living with AIDS and those diagnosed with HIV. Prior to testing positive in 1990, he traveled to Washington, D.C., with a quilt panel he had made for a friend and took part in the Names Project. It was to be the first of many trips he would make to the nation’s capital to speak about his own struggles and to inform our government officials of the need for more research and more money for people living with AIDS. And most important, he told of the need to educate people about HIV and AIDS worldwide. He spoke before Congressional leaders and international health officials, always advocating for justice and fair treatment for all people, not just those living with AIDS. He had many titles. He was a proud, gay man. He was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict, recently celebrating 14 years of being clean and sober. He was a spiritual friend, teacher advocate and promoter. He traveled whenever he could, wherever he could and taught all who came in contact with him. It didn’t matter what country he was in, someone would hear his words as he reached out to educate the world about his disease, what was needed and what wasn’t needed. He put a face to AIDS and never backed away from his commitment to make people aware of the needs and hardships that people living with AIDS endured. He supported those who had no one and nothing to look forward to. He became a friend and cheerleader. He made a difference. His passion and dedication to educating and helping others could and would not be ignored. Active on the board of directors of AIDS Response Seacoast in Portsmouth in the 1990s, he worked tirelessly to insure that ARS would survive as a service agency in a time when the doors were perilously close to being shut and locked. Early on, he spent time at ARS with those newly infected and helped them through the maze of treatments, doctors, employment, housing and the fear. Devoted to ARS and its speakers bureau, he spent many hours talking to high school classes and traveling anywhere his message was needed and wanted. Many young people have said their lives were changed by what he said. His legacy as an educator lives on in each person who heard his story. His story included the good and the bad. He spoke openly about his alcoholism and drug use, and he made a commitment to live sober and help others do the same. As a drug and alcohol counselor, he was well known for his perseverance with each newcomer and his keen instinct for fellow sufferers. If you wanted help, he was there. If you didn’t want help, he was there too. He never shied away from telling of his past alcohol and drug use and the unsafe life that he had led. He knew his experiences had to be told so others could learn from his mistakes. Serenity was there for the taking. He was enthusiastic about life. During the last years of his life, he became a Buddhist, finding the spiritual peace he sought. He filled his years with friends, family and his pets. Never one to walk away from a good fight, he fought the good fight in all areas of his life. He will be missed and he will not be forgotten. He lived his life to the fullest. He debated those who didn’t understand until they did. He flared at injustice for everyone and tried to change it. He walked the walk and talked the talk. And he did it all with dignity and poise. He was born in Quincy, Mass., on July 23, 1957, the son of William McGonagle and Edith Murphy. He is survived by a brother, Walter; nephews and nieces; his dog, Sebastian; cats, Alexander and Duchess; and a myriad of friends and admirers. ————


Member: Just
Location: Judgement
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 11:22 PM

Comments

May God have mercy on the homosexual who got all the benefits of perverted behavior---Hope all you homos take this to heart and don't get active like ole Kev boy or that too will be your early fate.........


Member: Just
Location: Judgement
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 11:23 PM

Comments

May God have mercy on the homosexual who got all the benefits of perverted behavior---Hope all you homos take this to heart and don't get active like ole Kev boy or that too will be your early fate.........


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 11:28 PM

Comments

I spoke for the first time tonight at a commitment and I was scared and vulnerable. I told my entire life story and it hurt like hell. I wish I could take it all back because I felt naked afterwards (and if someone makes a joke out of this I'm never coming back here)Whoever is posting all the rude comments and jokes, this really isn't the place for it. We are trying to get healthy and heal our addiction to alcohol. I cannot for the life of me figure out how you get pleasure out of your annoying posts. Anyway - back to my talk tonight. I would love any comments or advice about telling your story in a way that helps others without spilling your guts and telling the whole world everything. I'm glad it's time for bed and can put another day behind me and thank God for one more chance to do His will. God bless you all and thanks for letting me share this. I guess it goes with the "getting active" topic because sharing our stories is a way to get active and help others. But no one told me how scary that was going to be.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 22, 2003
Time: 11:42 PM

Comments

here, want some education---don't be homo and take it up the rear end and you won't get aids and die---ther ya have it!!


Member: BABE
Location: does the dishes....
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 12:51 AM

Comments

Well hey kiddies.... making coffee and washing cups, and so forth is good for ya. There's nothing wrong with helping out and learning about responsibility. like the simple responsibilities of everyday life... if we all have coffee at the meeting, then some of us must clean it up... simple. and it is a great form of service work.. not to mention that most of us can do that sort of thing. its not really hard. its a simple and humble way to take part, and maybe the most spiritual part of the program.. what say to that?.. i think it might even be true. i used to take great comfort in doing the groups chores.. it gave me a sense of purpose, responsibility, and it got me out of self all at the same time. its really and honour to be able to do it. if you stay positive that is.. but if you want to be really negative about it, you can do that to, and the good news is its none of my buisness. ps... stay tuned to see the solution for buddy boy and his brain washed girl friend... peace.


Member: Gerard F
Location: Cali
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 04:34 AM

Comments

"Getting active" whether its picking up butt cans, making coffee, set up or clean up, GSR, H&I. To me this is a way you stay connected. See its really easy for me to say "I dont feel like going to the meeting tonight I think Ill stay home and watch a movie". but if I have a commitment at a particular meeting my chances of showing increase.I agree with BABE that doing these little thing help one to escape from self (selfishness and self centeredness we believe that is the root of our problems)but disagree with it being anything spiritual. I believe that in doing these "commitments" it is easier for one to get connected with the group and meet people. After all a meeting is none other that a "meeting" that is a place to meet people who are walking the walk so to speak. A meeting of AA is not "the program" but where you meet people who may be working a program. and what happens outside the meetings is the fellowship of AA. The program of AA is contained in a book called Alcoholics Anynomous and is contained in the first 164 pages. If your new and want to stay sober then I suggest you read it and work the 12 steps!! Therefore I beleive that getting active is a good idea for those who want to meet people like themselves who may have recovered from alcoholism and have found a new way of life. But then the journey of sobriety begins with step one.....Grateful Alcoholic This is AA not ANA respect the house your in and if you dont know what Im sayin then there is an AA aproved pamphlet on your literature table called "problems other than alcohol and I suggest you read it" maybe then you can join us and remain sober and not be a "and a" and try to feel superior......


Member: Bill W
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 04:37 AM

Comments

how right you are young man god bless you


Member: Bill W
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 04:37 AM

Comments

how right you are young man god bless you


Member:
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:02 AM

Comments

go fuck youself gerard--------or get active with another of your fag aa buddies and get aids an die fool!!!!!!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:02 AM

Comments

see if it says that in your aa-proven-to-be-shit pamphlet?


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:30 AM

Comments

Whoever you are - the one who left the last two posts... Somebody done you wrong at some point in your life and you sound so angry. Who didn't love you? I can totally understand that you are trying to gain power by your posts, because whatever happened to make you this angry person has left you powerless. I am sending you nothing but love and compassion. You don't need to lash out at others and others can and will love you for who you are, when you learn to love yourself for who you are. Then you will miraculously find no need to bash others and will be compassionate to everyone and their differences. Everybody hurts and we are all just trying to help each other... and yes, we would love to help you too if you would only let your guard down. I hope everyone has a glorious sober day filled with love and compassion.


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:32 AM

Comments

Especially for Kat,you have a very good question about having to spill all details of your life and you should not have done that.Please read the following link from top to bottom and all of the following chapters from the links at the bottom of the page contained in the following link.If this does not explain why you are airing all of your dirty laundry then nothing will help you at all.Read it several times if needed.The reason you have to air your dirty laundry is because it is a technique of just many techniques that will be revealed later,but by then it will be too late.http://www.morerevealed.com/mr/chap9.htm


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:32 AM

Comments

Especially for Kat,you have a very good question about having to spill all details of your life and you should not have done that.Please read the following link from top to bottom and all of the following chapters from the links at the bottom of the page contained in the following link.If this does not explain why you are airing all of your dirty laundry then nothing will help you at all.Read it several times if needed.The reason you have to air your dirty laundry is because it is a technique of just many techniques that will be revealed later,but by then it will be too late.http://www.morerevealed.com/mr/chap9.htm


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:57 AM

Comments

((((Kat))))) When I share my ES&H on a commitment, I keep it very general: what it was like - how I got sober and into the program - and what it is like now. Getting real personal and sharing all intimate details is usually better left for one on one sharing with your sponsor or an intimate setting of, say, an all woman's step meeting with people you trust and know well. For me, sharing in a general way what it was like "then" helps me to remember the pain of drinking and how far I've come from that last day when I surrendered. It also helps the newcomer that may be sitting out in the hall by knowing that he/she is not alone in the pain they feel as a raw, newly sober person. ((joejoe-anon)) Listen, if what I write doesn't "work" for you - don't read it. What I've done in recovery has worked for over 4 years now... and I'll be forever grateful to the program of AA. Use the scroll bar. That's what it's there for. kapiche? As far as you "dumb" statement... don't think so. I have a 4 year degree and I'm working on my second degree at the moment. Being an alcoholic in recovery has nothing to do with intelligence - it's wanting to live.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 09:42 AM

Comments

Hi ((Kat)), Congradualtions on your first share. It gets better. I felt like every ounce of energy was drained out of me the first time. I also don't now when I tell my story and I tell it with gratitude and humility. There are some disturbing details to my story but I tell what feels right for me and right for that particular group. As Kim said a good thing to remember is to start with your first drink, What it was like, What brought you in the doors, your surrender and what it is like now. Now that you have spoke you can go on commitments if you like. This is a great way to make friends on the meeting on the way to the meeting , sharing and on the drive home. It really got the ball rolling for me. Most importantly keep coming back and posting. Try to ignore negative comments as hard as it is... I reply sometimes and regret it. A drunk trying to hurt another drunk is not in recovery. It is the disease talking not them. Everyone have a wonderful serene day! Kelly :)


Member: Dave
Location: upstate N.Y.
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 10:32 AM

Comments

Hello, Dave here and I am an alcoholic.It has only been a week since my last beer and I feel much better this morning.Getting active for me was as simple as calling my doctor.I had tried to sober up by myself but it was a losing battel.I was monitoring this site for the last month or so and prayed I would have the strenth to change my life.Often mornings I would wake up hungover and look for help here,hoping that this would be the day I stop.My doctor is able to understand what is going on. If you to are sitting here fealing sick as I was last week just know that if you get active,reach out ,it won't be long befor you start to feel better and think clearer. Psalm 107, "They rose up to the heavens,sank to the depts,their hearts trembled at the danger. They reeled,stagged like drunkards, their skill was of no avail. In thier distressthey cried to the Lord,who brought them out of their peril,hushed the storm to a murmur". Getting active for me taking was taking that first step.No more waiting for tomarrow.Get started now.This is my third attempt at living a sober life.I don't ever again want to be where I was last week.Thanks for being here.


Member: jack
Location: ass
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:11 AM

Comments

Are you two kelly and kim, sisters? You say the exact same STUPID shit over and over and hell, i couldn't even tell you two fools apart if you didn't sign different names. Are you really just the same person or what? Dam shutup with the brainwashing and try thinking for yourselves, would ya?


Member:
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:34 AM

Comments

let me guess, your lezzies, right?


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:35 AM

Comments

Thanks so much Kelly and Kim... I wish I read the link that Clifford posted BEFORE I spoke for the first time. But above all, I am NOT going to beat myself up for any of it. I did not prepare what I was going to say in advance all I did was say silently "May God be on my mind, on my lips and in my heart and may everything that I think, do and say reflect His love and light." And then I spoke from my heart. I trust that in order for me to heal I did what my soul needed to do. I regret that I may have not considered how what I was saying effected people in the audience. But live and learn and move on. I feel like I went through a right of passage and it's all good even if it totally sucked! Buddyboy... who are you to tell me what I should or shouldn't have done or telling me I aired my "dirty laundry?" YOu didn't even know what I said. Can you remember what you said your very first time?? I believe "Take it Easy" is a AA slogan and feel you might be missing the point of that one. I am trying to take it easy and learn as I go. If I made a mistake, it is between me and God and not for you to judge.


Member: to Kat
Location: You Did Good!
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 12:02 PM

Comments

(((Kat))) - we share our ES&H in a "general way" - writing your story out will help you see how to say what you want to make a point with, without going into any details that you are not comfortable letting the whole room know about.>>>>> thank you for your willingness to reach out & help others by sharing your story & carrying the message


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 04:33 PM

Comments

Kat you took it the wrong way,you are the one that said that you shared for the first time and felt awkward about sharing and wished that you could take it back and that you felt naked.I was only trying to share with you what Clifford had posted.That link and all the other chapters that I have read so far have been right on the money jsut like Clifford said they were.Not only was more revealed but the whole damn enchilada of whatone is about to surrender their mind to is revealed.Well at least you will know what you are getting into if you take the time to read it all.Your husband is right you know about his good sense and his gut feelings.


Member: Karen P.
Location: Atlanta, GA
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 08:59 PM

Comments

Congratulations one one week, Dave. That's probably the hardest part. How did your physician help? I wouldn't dare tell mine. Don't want to be labelled. That took courage. Are you going to f2f meetings? It's time you got a temporary sponsor and started the steps if you haven't. Also, I'll be happy to chat with you if you get the urge. Poelman@msn.com


Member: frazzled
Location: america
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 09:46 PM

Comments

this post is to buddyboy Im an abused wife, who is an aloholic. My husband is not. So its another thing to abuse me about. Im at my wits end on patching things up and trying to make things work because of the guilt I feel.. but everytime I think of him I want to drink? What to do?


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 09:58 PM

Comments

Jane C..alcoholic..I remeber telling at least two Doctors that I thought I drank too much wine..they didn't seem to think it was a problem..I told them that I seemed to always have a glass of wine in my hand,from the time I got in from work until going to bed..I got told that a lot or people of european desent did drink a lot of wine, and it didn't seem to be a problem..FOR ME IT WAS.. I had no problem telling them. I wanted THEM to tell me I had to stop..it wasn't until I told one more Doctor..he gave me a blood test and told me my liver enzymes were a little high..I said "I told you so", and he TOO said I could still have one or two glasses of wine a day.. I then got a little annoyed and told him that I couldn't stop with two.and that was many years ago, the first time I got sober..I had to make the decision myself, If just one MD told me I had to quit..I stil think that I would have stopped sooner than I did...so you see, I took what I thought was lots of action, and was being made to feel that all was well, when it wasn't. I'll never forget when a Doctor told my Father he had to quit or look to die sooner than he would like..well he dud quit and lived almost 17 yrs. longer, and he quit without AA.. maybe I am as strong as he was..and just maybe I can stay sober, with the help of God's grace, at least until I get down to taking more action with FTF meetings..May God give us all another sober day,,hugs for ALL..this is my meeting...


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 10:16 PM

Comments

Frazzled,mind your husband and honor your vows and leave the damn alcohol alone,if you dont pick it up,then you cant drink it,now how hard is that.


Member: frazzled
Location: america
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 10:33 PM

Comments

its a lot hard god damnit! Now I know why I don't rely on these freakin things to help me out..I would love for an abusing guy like yourself to deal with an abuser.. you think it's easy? Just drop the alcohol.. heh.. No I depend on it to help me deal with the son of a bitch.. any one else have a clue? besides buddyboy?


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 10:45 PM

Comments

Well leave the bastard so you dont have to drink,is that too hard too.


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 10:46 PM

Comments

Well leave the bastard so you dont have to drink,is that too hard too..I never said that I was an abuser,just an ex boozer,thats all


Member: frazzled
Location: america
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:09 PM

Comments

you describd being an abuser perfectly, if your not, then how did you know? I think your an ass.


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:12 PM

Comments

I did not describe anything I just went off of your lead.Stay with him if you like.You know what they say,keep goig back,it works if you work it,it gets gooder and gooder.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:16 PM

Comments

trazzled, Buddyboy isn't even an AA member - he's an asshole that comes here talkin shit down his nose as some superior authority know it all at everyone. and posts under made up names & locations as men women & as a catholic priest. every advice is what will keep an alcoholic drunk


Member: Buddyboy
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:35 PM

Comments

That is a lie,I am no priest and I am too a member,all it took for me to be a member was to have a desire to stop drinking.You are sticking your nos ewhere it does not belong,now go troll somewhere else.


Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:40 PM

Comments

((Kat)), you were asked to tell your story and, in spite of your fears, you were willing to do it to the best of your ability, and you were honest to the best of your understanding. You've nothing to be ashamed of. God bless you.


Member: yeah right
Location:
Date: September 23, 2003
Time: 11:50 PM

Comments

yep just cause you are asked,you should oblige,yeah right,they prolly heard stuff that her husband did not know.Gage you go to the more revealed page and rediscover yourself my friend.


Member: frazzled
Location: america
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 12:16 AM

Comments

stop messing with vulinerable people here you ass. Its not right. If anyone else agrees, please say so. This goes out to buddyboy


Member: Dear Abby..........
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 01:22 AM

Comments

Dear abby, i am an alcoholic and have chose to be with and abuser.. (Now how could that have happend?)...eehheemm.. anyhow... i am as pure and white as the snow on the north pole, except for the fact that i drink too much, and "luck" seems to have deserted me, as i am with a bad guy...bummer.... can you help me dear abby?.. he beats me and im scared for my life. should i continue to mind him and honor our 'ever so sacred marriage vows...till 'my death from his fist ''do us part?....blink blink bat bat bat...Or should i make like Jennifer lopez...and do some kung foo on him?... hi yaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!


Member: Missusss way too serious
Location: help me......
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 01:48 AM

Comments

I take everything very seriously, and in the wrong context, i mistake a bit of fun, for abuse and get all uptight over nothing... someone has made a few jokes and seems to be in a good mood, and here i am.... being the analy retentive control freak i am ...and i wont have any of it. If i could only lighten up like so many candles... i might see that "although there may be one or two 'genuinely abusive posters here.... that does not mean that everbody will be doing the same speed as me, or be taking the same bus..... maybe i will pull my head out of my you know what...and then again maybe not... but the good news is,,is that its none of your bizness..... bye now...hope that helped you.


Member: Buddie boy
Location: cop shop......
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 02:06 AM

Comments

hello men!.. how are ya (scratch scratch.. fart, burp...ahhhh) I would like to share my experience, strength and hopelessness opps... with ya so here it goes..... ((NEVER EVER HIT A WOMAN)) NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS! ....... just make her flinch.......


Member: ,,,,
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 02:19 AM

Comments

sorry wrong place. meant to tell that joke on the coffee pot


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 03:28 AM

Comments

Getting active for me initially meant finding the best way to stay sober. Doing somethinmg about my problem at last. When I first came online looking for a solution I looked at all the different groups...Rational Recovery, Lifering, Recovered Alcoholics, Smart Recovery as well as AA. I didn't care which group...I just wanted one that worked for me. All the fanatical AA bashing on the RR site put me off. I had enough conflict in my life and didn't need anywhere to feed my anger at life. I got some good advice from Lifering and the Recovered alcoholics site but it was this site and its message of hope that attracted me. The fact that it was open also appealed to me. I was pretty paranoid about anyone finding out I was an alcoholic! The bottom line for me was that I wanted to get sober and I had the choice of which group I joined to help me. Nowadays with the growth of internet AA we can all make informed choices without the need for anyone to tell us we are right or wrong. I read the link that Clifford posted from beginning to end. As in a lot of these things there were elements of truth in it. There are bad apples in every barrel. But I think that he has taken all the extreme examples to make his case and it is a very unbalanced view. I have never felt that I belong to a cult or that I am being brainwashed. Its always been my choice whether I go to meetings or not, how many meetings I go to, whether I have a sponsor or not, when I work the steps etc. etc. Of course there will be people who disagree with me in AA...and being human they don't always disagree nicely!...but it says more about me if I start yelling cult when I can't do things my way, than it does about AA as an organisation. It says more about me if I blindly obey a controlling sponsor against all my common sense, and start yelling brainwashing when I feel intimidated, than it does about AA as a group. Most of us may be vulnerable when we come to AA but we are still intelligent adults with freedom of choice. I have found many warm, considerate people in AA whose only interest is passing on their own experience of how they got sober. It's entirely up to me whether I choose to follow their example or not. With over 2 million members there are an awful lot of different examples to choose from. An organisation with room for Christians, Buddhists, Atheists, Humanists,those who work the steps, those who don't, those who have sponsors, those who don't, loners internatinal, internet meetings...well it doesn't seem like a cult to me. Just the simple fact that anyone can post their views n here whether it is pro or anti- AA speaks volumes. Try do that on any of the other non AA recovery sites!!! I'd thoroughly recommend the book Living Sober to anyone new to AA. It deals with all the practical aspects of living without alcohol and explains what AA is about in a common sense way. Thank you everyone for helping to keep me sober. Love Yvonne


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 05:12 AM

Comments

Thanks ((Yvonne)) for the voice of reason. I'm up early for a meeting and I came here to start my morning. An above comment I think I took too literally or maybe it is the early hour or both. This abuse topic should go away, its not funny. It made me remember the terror of my ex. When he was in a blackout he tried to kill me with a submachine gun thinking I was his ex wife. After two attempts to break free I got out with the help of the swat team. He did two years for it and in my young mind I believed him when he wrote from jail that he had changed. By then we had a baby boy that was born while he was in jail. I hoped it could work because he was a nice guy sober. Well it did not work because he picked up a drink three weeks out of jail. One night in a blackout he started calling me Charlene and I panicked. He grabbed a butcher knife from the drawer and pinned me to the fridge. He said he would kill me slowly like the divorce killed him. I begged for my life and our babys life and he finally realized what he was doing and I broke free and ran to a neighbors to call the police. I left our baby in the crib with him and I was petrified. He did not end up hurting him. When the police took him away that was the end of that relationship and I still after all these years wake up sweating and terrified. I have tried to get over this for years and stay away from abusive men. I go back to that horrible night when I read this stuff. I don't think it's funny at all, it takes a sick person to write about what they did to a woman in detail. I have been able to avoid it till now but can we stop now for Gods sake! I'll pray for you, who ever you are? This is as Yvonne said is a free page where we can come to express our views. I believe in the right of free speach but I wish we could tone it down to something less painful. I really need a meeting now so God gives me what I need today. Lets all pray for the still sick and suffering alcoholics. Kelly :(


Member: Mark
Location: NY
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 08:47 AM

Comments

funny babe---I know it's you even if the others are so freegin confused as to think you're a man writing about what you did, instead of what was done to you, but hey, ya gotta laugh at 'em for taking the silliness soooo seriously. This whole site is for silliness and humor, not much more good really comes form it. I not only appreciate the humor, even and maybe especially when it's directed at me, but I don't take any of it personally even if it's meant that way. Why ya think that is? Even when you're wrong and think/guess I'm any number of people here, I'm not, but that's ok too. Heck, I even make mistakes myself on rare occasions, and hopefully I not only learn, but laugh at myself as much as ever. It's perfectly fine to be wrong, what's wrong with that? Nothing !! Darn good thing too, 'cause 99% of the regulars are wrong here 99.9% of the time! Just look at the two above posts, God Bless the sick newbie women......


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 09:00 AM

Comments

Sounds to me like kellygirl has been hit over the head, no pun intended--well maybe a little--with exactly what she needs to be facing instaed of whinning about it and running, as usual..Do what ya want, and I'lll keep doing what I think helps others, not what you think helps others--period!


Member: Roberta
Location: Canada
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 09:32 AM

Comments

I see that this site is getting back into the dumb zone again. I thought that I had read earlier about them (tech support) being able to block those who post messages that are degrading and mean spirited. I quit coming to this site about a year ago because of some idot that was making postings that would make a person cringe. I look to this site for support when I get into a "what the hell" type of mood and so far it has been working for the past 24 days. I hope the tech people are paying attention and weed out those who are making people relive the terrible moments of their lives that could drive them back to the bottle.


Member: BABE
Location: has a knight in tarnished armor
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 12:18 PM

Comments

what is wrong with someone expressing thier experience strength and hope on the issue of abuse?...((answer)): apparently some of us don't like it, cause it makes us feel something?.. is that it?.. well Kelly honey.. if i had done what you did i would be having some feelings about it too, how long have you been sober honey? ((ABUSE IS BIG TIME RELATED TO THE ALCOHOL ISSUE ((Kelly)) do you honestly expect others, to kick back and hush hush about certain issues to accomodate you?! (im sorry you apparently had to go through such and awful ordeal...i really mean that ) and i thought i had gone thru some awful stuff! (sister; your the queen! AND YOU WENT BACK! AFTER BUDDY BOY GOT OUTTA JAIL! I cant decide who was more insane.. you or buddy boy... i think it may have been you sweetheart. lord love us! your the one who should be sharing on this subject, do you not think that as alcoholic 'men and women "abuse" just 'might' be an issue for the vast majority?... pretty please tell me you realize differently... i still cant' believe what you went through,, it makes me want to cry.. like i said,,,, you have more to share about this subject than i do.... how did you get through it?. what kind of feelings did you experience, and how and what and where,,, wouldn't all that stuff be really helpful to some one who hasn't figured it out yet?.. hey if im wrong fine.. but last time i checked, it seemed to me that the very term alcoholism could be and maybe should be coined just plain abuse...as that is how sick and devistating the problem is.. look at all the deaths, stabbings, and mayhem comes from it.. statistics say that our jailed inmates are at least 80 per cent alcohol or drug related....80 per cent!... that tells yu alot.... and i don't have to read on about who is taking up more space in those jails...it will be buddy boy heaven in there... nuf! i gotta go ....sober mind, sober thought, sober action, sober speach, and when ya can't do that, tell jokes.....


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 01:32 PM

Comments

((Kelly))...I can empathise with you. When I was very newly sober I heard a guy sharing at a meeting how he had been violent towards his wife and daughter when he flew into alcoholic rages. It was awful listening to it when I hadn't even started to deal with those issues, but what made me most angry was when he made a joke about it and started to laugh. I didn't know much about people then and was full of self righteous anger for quite a while afterwards. He came up after the meeting and tried to shake my hand and I'm ashamed to say that I cut him dead. I didn't know an awful lot about tolerance either. What I have started to learn after listening to many stories is that many abusers were victims of alcoholic abuse themselves...it's the only way they have learned to behave. I drank for years over the rage I felt to my mother and my ex-husband, but have learned to have a lot more compassion for them now I know the damage that alcoholism did to their lives. I also know that sobering up did not allow me to instantly get over my feelings of being a victim. That took time. I suppose I also have to see that those people who have used violence and verbal abuse as a way of controlling people are not going to always change the minute they put down the drink. It will take them time too. Alcoholism does seem to set up a vicious cycle of abuse in families and I am just grateful that I have the chance to break that thread. Although I didn't physically abuse my children they were brought up in an atmosphere of anger and arguments and did hear me being constantly verbally abused. At least I can now talk to them about it. My daughter had counselling to deal with her anger and we are slowly starting to heal as a family. I have found that getting sober is allowing me to deal with a lot of these past issues now, and perhaps another aspect of getting active is my getting professional counselling to help. I think that if you are feeling vulnerable then an AA meeting is not the best place to discuss these issues. I got a lot of support talking one to one with other recovering alcoholics though. Love Yvonne


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 01:49 PM

Comments

I think it's time to agree to disagree. We all have our opinions and it is so important to understand where you stand on an issue and to dare to speak your truth. However, true enlightenment comes from seeking to understand rather than to be understood. The Dalai Lama was recently in Boston, I am so bummed I didn't see him, but a friend of mine did and she said his entire message was to have compassion for one another. He said, if you want to have a happy life free from suffering, you must spend more time on your inner life rather than the outer life. We all come to this site looking for answers outside of ourselves when we all should be looking within. I am not saying this to preach or sound "holier than thou" because I am guilty of seeking comfort outside of myself as well and that is basically the alcoholic mind's MO. We've all been blessed with a chance to stop doing this over and over again and begin to learn how to tune in to our own divine truth. Getting angry and forcing our truth on others is not the enlightened way... but hey, that is only my opinion. Thanks so much for all the sharing and support. I love seeing posts directed to me and that someone has taken the time to read about my challenges and that you take the time out of your busy lives to respond and reach out... even the ones I don't agree with! I pray for all of us, and especially for those still suffering. May God continue to work miracles through us all and may we all be enlightened enough to see those miracles in every precious moment. I had a dream last night that I had a sip of wine and my son looked straight into my eyes with such disappointment... that's my inner world speaking to me and keeping me sober. Pay attention... your soul is calling you. Are you listening???


Member: Liz F.
Location: Nj
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 02:15 PM

Comments

What ashame. This used to be a good site, I looked forward to reading the words of encouragement and caring and people wanting to help other people. Now it's starting to remind me of the constant battling I have to deal with here at home and it's sad. You people are ruining it for the other people who are truly concerned about helping and listening and sharing, because I know if I keep reading this garbage that's going on, I'll stop visiting this site and so will a lot of people who depend on this for daily encouragement. I haven't posted anything in a long time, and I wish my first post of a long time wasn't about this. like I said, it's sad.


Member: Drunk
Location: in a bar
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 03:41 PM

Comments

Hey Lez (oops, that's Liz -- whatever)...WAA BITCH


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 03:50 PM

Comments

My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. For me, getting active early on meant making a lot of AA meetings and getting a sponsor to guide me through the 12 Steps. That was a whole lot of activity all by itself. Eventually, that led to involvement with other aspects of AA such as helping with literature. For a while, I needed to be overly focused on AA in order for my head to clear and a new way of living to begin to take hold. Over time, sobriety has provided a better balance in my life. I go to regular meetings on a regular basis, but AA is not supposed to be an excuse to avoid other responsibilities. Today, because I am sober, I have a full and active life, with both AA and non-AA related activities. Joe joep041699@mindspring.com


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 04:38 PM

Comments

So what Liz, quit crying and get lost if you don't like it!!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 04:38 PM

Comments

So what Liz, quit crying and get lost if you don't like it!!


Member: Rattled by that one
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 05:24 PM

Comments

Try that post again Kat,were you trying to say something,inner world,what in the world are you talking about.Miracles,inner world's,inner life.Girl you are you and no inner worlds exist,it is known as a conscious,we all have one.Are you okay?


Member: Liz E.
Location: Nj
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 05:31 PM

Comments

men like you are why lesbians exist


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 06:16 PM

Comments

Dear rattled... I've never been better. Thanks so much for your concern. Inner world, inner life, inner being, inner consciousness... whatever. love,Kat


Member: Not rattling anymore
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 06:30 PM

Comments

no ,just conscious period,just one, no inner or outer,just your brain and thoughts that is all.Did you get to read all of the chapters from the link above posted by Cliff.


Member: Unknown
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 06:39 PM

Comments

I very seldom post either but actually laughed at the bickering. I never laugh at the idiot that posts; his humour is stupidity but laugh at the sober peoples responses!! Someday I hope that I have a clear mind like them. Buddy, you make yourself look not only stupid, but far beyond the definition of stupidity!!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 06:42 PM

Comments

Who is Buddy,do we have a Buddy posting?


Member: Beto L
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 07:48 PM

Comments

When I came to AA I wanted to quit drinking alcohol. I came and I listened, and I heard people talk about the problem they had with alcohol, what they did about it, and the results they had achieved. I wanted what some of those people had, so I did what they did. I never was coerced into anything. Several people suggested to me that I get a sponsor. I didn't find anyone at meetings who I believed would make a good mentor, especially among those who promoted sponsorship. I stayed sober for over a year without a sponsor. If I could do it, so can you. Without a sponsor, I read the book frequently. The Big Book was written so plainly that it was hoped people could get sober by reading it and applying it to their lives, even without having had contact with other sober members of AA. If it could do that, it could take the place of a sponsor for a while. I did get active setting up folding chairs, and making coffee, and cleaning up after the meetings. I also got some "running mates." people with about the same time sober as I had. My running mates and I went to meetings together, sharing rides. That way we shared, or had a mini meeting in the car on the way to and from the meeting. In short, getting active is one of the things I did, and do, that helps me have an enjoyable sober life. In my 26 years sobriety I have seen many hundreds of signs that said Easy Does It. I have never seen one that said Take it easy. It is a program of doing, not taking. Beto


Member: Hungry for SOS
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 08:08 PM

Comments

Beto,would you please get back in the kitchen and get breakfast prepared.You do that rather well.


Member: BABE
Location: There is a solution.... yes there is and it makes me glad like so many garbage bags....
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 10:08 PM

Comments

Liz. (Im very hurt and angry that you don't agree with my opinions.... ((NOT!)) (HONEY) cant you find any other ways to get some self importance? for you information.. there are other more positive ways of doing it other than carrying all that "sadness my friend" I could almost feel how 'happy you are about being so 'sad. i bet your the type who loves to find fault in others to boost yourself... im with the guy who told you to quit crying.(because i agree with him, but also cause i want to gang up on you.. hey! sue me! you got your twists and i got mine) why don't you become part of the solution and start posting some experience strength and hope... in fact why don't all the whinners quit crying about all the bad boogie monsters and just post a good share.... those who like living in the solution say "I".. i must always ask myself , am i living in the problem? and do i want to stay there or start living in the solution... in fackt! ha ha that turned out to be a great spelling error))... if you want....there are no problems..only solutions....howd that be? or are you just plain fackt?


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 10:22 PM

Comments

ooops. LOL! Guess that just goes to show you that I'm still too new to know all the lingo... "Take it Easy" is a line from the Little River Band's "Lyin' Eyes"!!! There are so many my head is spinning! It took me a week to figure out what f2f, ES&H, and ODAAT meant! And I still can't for the life of me figure out what scroll the trolls means. Hey at least I didn't drink over it!! Have a great night everyone!!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 10:26 PM

Comments

"I"


Member: Jane C.
Location: A;aska
Date: September 24, 2003
Time: 11:58 PM

Comments

Jane C...alcoholic..This site today has been vicious...I skipped most of it and I have nothing to say, except the decent,serious people on this site are here for help..Dear God..Fogive the ones posting like idiots, THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO..God Bless the rest of us...


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 06:42 AM

Comments

((JoeP, Beto))...thank you for sharing your experience ((Kelly, Kat, Roberta, Liz F, Jane C))...I hope you all keep posting too. Often when I can't sleep at night I come downstairs and read the posts on all the SC sites. It gives me a genuine feeling of being connected to a big group of people who are all trying to achieve the same thing as me...stay sober for another day. I'm not finding it too easy at the moment but the support of other recovering alcoholics helps me through the bad patches and lets me know that it's possible. That's how it works in many ways. There is always someone there for me when I am struggling and I would like to also be there if anyone else needs help. Thank you all for helping me to stay sober Love Yvonne (On the getting active front I've just started knitting (heaven help me!) and have found a few American patterns that I like. Does anyone out there know what the eqivalent of sports weight yarn is in Europe?)


Member: THANKS
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 06:49 AM

Comments

Ya this is just a great site it teaches me so much.For one get to a real meeting and try not to judge people.Who use this site to release their anger and try to hurt other people.Just let it go people if you want help you'll get to a real meeting.Thanks all for showing me the way


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:44 AM

Comments

damn, you ARE stupid!


Member: me
Location: reality
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:47 AM

Comments

no janey-jane, btw where's tarzan the monkey man, but you are the one who has no idea what's going on--in the most literal sense---read- you are clueless and sober 15 seconds and being brainwashed into believing this evil is good. May God help you if stay around these fools.......


Member: buddyboy
Location: gettin real
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:51 AM

Comments

ahh, go screw yourself if ya don't want me postin, how bout that? I love alkies and am trying to set the record straight so as to not have them decieved as this site does to them, that's all there is to it. Get real and quit your whining like little bitches!!


Member: lars
Location: spore
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:06 AM

Comments

Hi i am Lars, and just really accepted I am an alcholic. Wife just left with the kids and I am feeling totally alone, and I know what's to blame. I wanted to go for my first meeting today but chickened out. decided to sit down and find out more on the net, and came across some good stuff. hopefully tomorrow will bring me strength to go to a meeting. may God give me the strength to beat it.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:23 AM

Comments

Wow, I sure got what I needed last night! A friend and I have started trying to get a Wednesday night youth meeting going. The first week we had 4 people and then 10 well last night we had 20 or so! The speaker did not show so a newly sober woman Melissa chaired. She has only 6 weeks sober but it was just like hearing my own story. We are the same age both have 19 year olds and both had it bad for wine. It lead us down the same path in so many ways ending up in a rehab. After break she read a letter she had recently found from her son when she was drinking. I got teary because it could have been from my Ryan. It basically was a poem about how much he loved his mother the way she used to be and how hard it was to live with her now. It really made me think to be surrounded by young people my sons age that we parents could put them through all that in our alcoholism. All the lies and shame they carried because they were stuck with us as parents. Its one thing to work on myself but last night made me think about Ryan. We are really close and I know he knows I regret the "lost years" as he calls them but today he is just glad to have me back. I am so glad to be back and hopeful for the future, taking it slow and steady. There was just unbelievable energy last night at that meeting. Everybody that shared touched me in some way. I have never been to a bad meeting but this one was exceptional. Everyone have a wonderful, sober 24... Kelly :) Keep coming back it works!


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:28 AM

Comments

((Lars))...welcome to Staying Cyber. I hope you get as much support from here as I did. I found that the feeling of being totally alone left me once I got involved in AA. There was always somebody there. If you really can't find the strength to go to a meeting why not call the AA helpline and talk to someone there. They will often find someone in your area who would be happy to go along to your first meeting with you. Take Care. Love Yvonne


Member: Liz F.
Location: Nj
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:32 AM

Comments

Good morning everyone. It's a beautiful day and it's my son's birthday and I'm looking forward to making it great for him. I've been sober almost a week now, since my birthday, when I ruined it by getting drunk. I think that was my turning point, because I realized I ruined my own birthday because my husband refused to take me out while I was drunk. I was pretty mad for a while, but then I realized what he was trying to do. He has used some pretty mean tactics to try to stop me from drinking, and I resented him a great deal for a long time, but I'm slowly starting to see that he loves me and he doesn't want to watch me kill myself. He just doesn't know how else to handle it. So, I'm gonna make the best of today, not even look at the liquor store as I pass it, and make the best birthday cake ever for my son! Have a great day all.


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 09:03 AM

Comments

(((Lars))) and (((Liz))) hang in there... it gets better. Talk about tough love Liz... wow...not taking you out on your birthday? I think I would've hit him over the head with whatever I was drinking!! My husband has never tried to change me, but often needed to be told bluntly what I needed. The more you learn to communicate your feelings and what you need, the better he will learn to talk to you about what he is reaaly feeling rather than trying really mean tactics to get you to quit. That is known as "passive agressive" when you do things to make your point known rather than communicating in an assertive manner. Maybe you should both take an assertiveness training class together... it might be fun. I loved the class I took and I notice how many times I've been passive agressive and thinking that people would know what I was trying to say through my actions. Sarcasm was my weapon of choice and it gets you nowhere. Happy Birthday to your son. Be kind to yourself and give yourself the birthday gift you need and celebrate it all year long. Someone told me recently "whatever scares you, celebrate it" Throw a party for yourself and your newfound sobriety. Throw a party because you don't yet know how to communicate what you need. Throw a party for all the dumb choices you've made so far... and the list goes on and on for all of us... and by "throw a party" I DON'T mean go to the liquor store and buy booze!! We all need to retrain our brains and redefine the word party from here on out. love and peace, Kat


Member: liz f
Location: Nj
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 09:31 AM

Comments

thank you so much Kat, I needed to hear that more than you could ever know!


Member: me
Location: USA
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 12:02 PM

Comments

I have come to this site for several years & have always enjoyed the posts. Now there are some people with serious mental problems that are trying to ruin the vibe here. Don't let them. Feel sorry for them...do not read their crap and move on and not respond. I do. I read the meaningful posts. There will always be those that are hopeless and hateful and pissed off that others can better than selves and they cannot.


Member: me
Location: usa
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 02:14 PM

Comments

yeah--that's really caring for them me in the usa, right? To ignore someone who may or may not be hurting? You people say they are hurting so much and that's why they're mad, but you think ignoring them is showing compassion or love, tolerance and acceptance? That is NOT AA>...........


Member: sick of this
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 02:24 PM

Comments

so we're to be tolerant of being ridiculed, abused, put down and being name called? By ignoring it, is being the most tolerant I think anyone in the world could do for this person or persons who are posting these immature comments.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 03:31 PM

Comments

Hi. Today is the first day that I have connected with AA in any way. I read the 20 questions somewhere and I thought it was kind of funny that I might need to take a test to find out if I'm an alcoholic. I mean, like "duh." I've never really tried to stop drinking before. I actually really enjoy drinking. But it's ruining my relationship, by which I mean my whole basic life. I have been sober since I woke up this morning. I can't control my drinking, and I've realized today that if I don't tell this to someone and share that realization that understanding, I'll be drunk again as soon as it's convenient. I have to stop and I can't do it under my own power. I've known that I am an alcoholic for a long time, and if I could get away with drinking without it fucking up everything, I would gladly continue. But that's not the case and so now I have to try to start to heal. Not that I think I will actually heal ... this sickness will always be a part of me. I'm going to live with it, but live without alcohol. This may sound like a naive expectation, and right now I don't even know if it's something that you "do" or something that you "try." Thanks.


Member: Kat
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 04:07 PM

Comments

Hey Bob baby!! Congrats... you are NOT alone. I took those quizzes for years and even went to two meetings before I could utter the words. I used to write about it in my journal and then tear out those pages so no one would ever read my dirty little secret. Go to a meeting and get a 24 hour chip. I LOVE my chips and I proudly march up to the front like I'm receiving an Academy Award or something. The other night when I spoke for the first time, the chair person handed me a metal chip with the serenity prayer on it. He said "here hold on to this if you're nervous." After I spoke I thanked him and tried handing it back to him and he said "No, that's yours now." I love it. I don't have a lot of money right now, but those chips make me feel like a million bucks! You took the first step... pat yourself on the back and thank God for working miracles in your life. As Martha Stewart would say "this is a good thing" (not that any of us should be taking HER advice - unless of course she is telling us which stocks to buy!!! LOL) Just breathe and trust that you are exactly where you are supposed to be and that God has amazing plans for you that you never would've believed. All you have to do is keep surrendering and let Him show you the way. Be gentle with yourself. love & peace, Kat


Member: God bless you.
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 05:26 PM

Comments

Kat you are now officially too far gone for rational thought.You have been indoctrinated now beyond return.


Member: Kerry C
Location: TX
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 05:29 PM

Comments

Kerry here an alcoholic. Getting active in AA is critical to my recovery. Recovery is more than stopping drinking. The Big Book tells us that drinking was just a symptom of our problem. Our problem basically is that we tried to use alcohol to deal with our emotions and lifes problems. At first it worked for us all or we would have never drank ourselves to the point where our bodies became reliant on alcohol to function normally. There came a time though, that our medicine for lifes ills (alcohol) turned on us and became our master. Even though we desperately wanted to quit, because alcohol was ruining our lives, we found we could not. The Big Book talks about it in The Doctors Opinion; "Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity." By this time, alcohol had became entangled with virtually everything that we did in life. If you don't believe that, take a few minutes and write down what you do or did every hour of the day. Make note of how many hours you spent either drinking, thinking of drinking, or recovering from drinking each day. Compare that to how many hours you were involved in other activities. If you are anything like I was, you will find that alcohol consumed most of your time daily. The thing that you spend the most time each day on is the most important thing in your life and thus your master. The reason I am going into some detail here is that when we quit drinking we find ourselves not knowing what to do with our time, since alcohol took up so much of our time before. Getting Active in AA fills that void in time. Most of us, at first, in AA feel like outsiders and apart from rather than apart of the group. We are used to isolating and being alone because our drinking forced that upon us. I couldn't be around normal people, they complained about my drinking. I couldn't be around drinkers like me because they wanted to drink all of my alcohol. I needed my alcohol to survive and was way to selfish to share at the end of my drinking career. What I had to do was something very uncomforatable for me. I had to reach out and take the initiative to introduce myself to people at AA. I didn't like making close friends when I was drinking. I had two mottos I lived by then. 1) I don't like people, people don't like me, and I like it like that. 2) Friends are liabilities and will eventually hurt me one way or another. So I would push friendships away. The truth was I was a very lonely person who described himself as a loner. As I introduced myself to people in AA, I became a bit more comforatable going to AA meetings. They would shake my hand and tell me they were glad to see me. Of course I thought they wanted something from me. But I knew I had only 2 choices. Become involved in AA or die. I had tried every other means to control or quit drinking that I knew of. As time went by I actually developed friendships with these people. They invited me to start doing things with them. The more we did together the better friends we became. Now I feel more comforatable in AA meetings than when I am not at AA meetings. I know almost everyone that comes around in the area. To me that's what Getting Active means. Building sober friendships to replace my time spent drinking. Welcome to all the new people. Ignore the abuser, it feeds off of responses to its' posts. Here is a link to an online version of the Big Book if anyone needs it. http://www.recoveryzone.org/docs/bigbook.htm Congrats to all of those sober this 24 hours, God Bless.


Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 05:40 PM

Comments

Hi All and Bob, Sure can relate to you Bob. Am new to this as well, just 6 weeks or so of avoiding doing what I oh so loved as well, drinking. And like you, I never bothered to quit before, and just KNEW that I couldn't (not much work for me to do on powerlessness!). Personally I knew I needed big time help so am in outpatient treatment and AA. Not everything fits, and some of the outpatient lectures are annoying as heck, but I'm getting more out of the group time than I ever thought I would. And the AA meetings help me, their biggest concept of just taking it one day at a time has gotten me thru to this point. And it is a bit easier now than it was even a week ago...there is hope for me yet! And it sounds like you are on the right track, hang in there!


Member: angie m
Location: california
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 06:55 PM

Comments

Getting active .... i began my recovery in a recovery home so it's pretty easy to get active ... we go to alot of meetigns ... i had a commitment in my first month ..... and kept it for 9 months it was having evryone sign birthday cardas for the people celebrating b-days .... i also at about 90 days started speaking on panels , i worked steps, helped set up meetings, take down meetings, volunteered at detox , my sponsor was rarely available to me for my first several many months , so i forced myself to be active .... i did my morning meditation every day read pages 60 - 63 85-88 did a 3rd and 7 th step prayer , did a grateful list on paper and on line that i shared with other alcoholics ... i read that book like it was going out of style , i still do these same things .... i also try to write on my 10 th at night pray on my 11th .. i spoke as a 10 minute speaker at a meeting a few weeks ago ... i go to between 4 - 7 meetings a week, i just recently got a commitment as secretary at a meeting .... and am looking for a sponsee ... i change sponsors about a month ago so i get alot more direction which is good ...


Member: Monica
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:27 PM

Comments

Getting active to me meant doing other things in life besides planning everything around the Devil Drink.Being active like holding a job,keeping my appearance up,keeping my house clean,reading,going to the park,walking my dog and just doing the everyday normal things that life is meant to be about. I tried the aa rooms and the program and got everything out of them that I possibly could and I will say that the good general direction was the most valuable thing that I attained with the aa techniques.I never picked up the aa lingo of language but I heard enough of it to never forget it,it is embedded in my brain somewhere.It was a good learning experience and the one thing that I learned the most was this.It is very hard for one to recover on there own but possible,but in the aa doctrine one will never recover and it says so in the doctrine.I personally chose to recover fully and chose not to live a life where full recovery was not possible.Thats my 23 cents worth.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:50 PM

Comments

Kat & Becky: Bob here, alcoholic. I appreciate the support. Not ready for a chip though, it's not 24 hours since I finished drinking. The sun's out, the day's work is almost done, and right now is exactly the perfect time for my first glass of wine for the evening. I like to use a real simple cork screw because of that nice sound the cork makes when you pull it out of the bottle ... and that smell that comes with it is always a delight. I also like the sound of the screw cap when it breaks free, but I don't get to hear that as much since they came out with the $2.00 reds. I fell asleep just after 9 last night (I was restless in bed, so I know I didn't pass out), and so I'm still at least 4 hours shy of 24 without a drink. A glass of wine would be great right now, but I feel solid and I'm not going to jump in the car and run to the store (I don't keep alcohol in the house ... "you don't?" ... No, why keep it when you can drink it?).


Member: angie
Location: California
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 07:59 PM

Comments

Bob ....... hang in there ... and ya know when your feeling like this and romancing the bottle and the entire drink process begins to crowd your mind thats usually a perfect time to go to a meeting they can help walk you through these scarey spots ...... i wish you all the luck ... i am from california too ... what are are you in ???


Member: Becky
Location: Seattle
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:14 PM

Comments

Got a 1 month coin last night at a "Birthday meeting," like Kat, I am damn proud of that stupid thing. It may seem cheesy, but for right now I need the claps and encouragement because it isn't easy. (I can so picture, hear, smell that wine cork comin' out.) Someday I can imagine that the kitchy parts of the program will not do much for me, 1/2 way thru my life so I know that much about me. But for now, bring it on.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:16 PM

Comments

COME PIGEONS


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 08:55 PM

Comments

My name, I would prefer to be referred to as anonymous. I am an alcoholic and not really that willing to admit that I am an alcoholic, but inside I know that I am. To others, an alcoholic is probably the last thing that people that know me would classify myself as being. But, knowing myself better than anyone; am very aware of what I am and what I am not. And I am very aware that I am an alcoholic. I have been to my doctor for help; and disclosed my desire to my doctor to be sober and followed the steps that my doctor suggested and only to come to dead end after dead end. I would not even go back to my doctor to seek other alternatives because what was suggested to me initially ended in every dead end. I am trying to be sober and be the person I used to be. To the sick bastard that posts negative information on this site; I honestly wouldn't want to be you on your judgement day. I read this site everyday; to learn and try and get sober. Sick people like you need to get a life!!! I have a great life that I am trying to get back; the life I had before I had no control of alcohol.


Member: anonymous
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 09:25 PM

Comments

Hello anonymous friend,please dont call yourself an alcoholic,if you begin to believe that you will never ever recover,you will only be in recovery from this day forward.You have a serious drinking problem that you need to take full responsibility for.At least try this link and read all of it and take the crash course and if it does not help you then go ahead and declare yourself incurable.Its worth a try.http://search.aol.com/aolcom/redir?src=websearch&requestId=f0679a3fae6f31ad&clickedItemRank=1&userQuery=rational+recovery&clickedItemURN=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rational.org%2F


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 09:30 PM

Comments

here is the correct link anonymous one,enjoy and become informed.http://www.rational.org/index.html


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 10:18 PM

Comments

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 10:23 PM

Comments

you are,get your ass up before you fall asleep


Member: jen d
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 11:01 PM

Comments

YVONNE , I think it's called 'Double Knitting Wool.


Member: Roy G
Location: Calgary
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 11:18 PM

Comments

Today marks 100 days without a drink.It is also the first one that I can say I am truly happy to be sober.Getting active can mean many things to many people. Today it was simply getting up and reading"HOW IT WORKS" at a meeting.A small task for many,but a large one for me,since ussually I would try to sit and hope I could stay invisible.This is the first time I have found this site;but am adding it to my list of favorites.To those who ridicule I can only say that sick as I am,I still pity you.Thank you all for another sober 24


Member:
Location:
Date: September 25, 2003
Time: 11:48 PM

Comments

Roy,How high can you count?


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:09 AM

Comments

((Bob))...welcome to Staying Cyber. I hope this site helps you as much as it helps me. That first day without alcohol can seem endless, and I found that breaking it down to I won't drink for the next half hour helped when the craving got really bad. I also found lots of sweet drinks and orange juice helped as our bodies also crave the sugar from alcohol. AA suggests that you try out a few meetings if you are not sure. If you phone your local helpline they will tell you where your nearest one is and will happily find someone to go with you if you want. You don't have to speak when you get there but can just listen to how others found a solution to their drinking. You will find that people are very supportive. Good luck! ((Jen D))...thank you. I'll give it a try.((Roy G))...Congratulations on 100 days. That's a fantastic achievement. ((Becky))...congratulations on one month!((Anonymous))..apart from my immediate family, no-one knew that I was an alcoholic either. One doctor said that I just self medicated for depression. But deep down I knew. Accepting the reality of it was hard for me because it meant being totally committed to not drinking again. I had to accept that I would always be an alcoholic. Seeing how others had accepted that fact and how they had rebuilt their lives...just having somewhere where I could finally talk openly about it...is what has kept me coming back to AA. It offered me hope for the future. Love to everyone Yvonne


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:30 AM

Comments

I typed Rational Recovery into my search engine and found this article...interesting! http://alcoholism.about.com/library/weekly/aa990616.htm


Member: Kathy T.
Location: Northeast
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:55 AM

Comments

Monica - I read more than I write, but after reading your post I felt the need to answer you. When I first sobered up I was advised not to try to outsmart the Program. I took that advice and continue to learn, make new friends and grow through still being active in AA even after 18 years of sobriety! I much prefer to accept the fact I am an alcoholic in recovery.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 08:02 AM

Comments

Hi ((All)), I have checked out Rational Recovery's web site before, thanks for the link to that article! So true, It is like sometimes they try and turn 'Staying Cyber' into 'RR' by starting and perpetuating a hate message. That is all there site is,... AA jokes. I feel very strongly AA works because it saved my life but at the same time I want to be here on 'Staying Cyber' with the recovery I need to keep growing. The thought of ever going to another recovery site and attacking them for their beliefs seems absurd to me. Not only is it wrong/ stinkin thinkin, but it takes me away from working on myself. A big WHATEVER floats your boat from rainy New Hampshire...Kelly ;) Lets all stay sober today and be back to write about it! Thanks for helping me to stay sober today.


Member: Josh
Location: happyness
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 08:21 AM

Comments

Hello all yes Getting Active at first thats what helps it help me anyway.Help me get the meeting and meet people who had what I wanted sobriety.How where they able not to drink to change to trust people not to judge people.They had the answers and they could show me ways to do it for myself. How not to drink and what to do when I felt like I whated to drink.It made it alot easyer to do what other people have done to become sober.Listen to people who have been there and no what I'm going threw.And how to get around it the drinking feelings.Make calls hang with sober people to change and I found that the more I did at AA I got twice out of it.Today I'm happy I see some people on this site that can't find it.And their mad very angry maybe someday they'll get it together.But today I'm able to feel sorry for these people.Why you say they just put put everybody down you say. Because its just thing that have learned today. Deep down are they hurting me with their words of angry just putting everybody down who beleaves in the AA program.Its makes some people very mad why because they see these people can get the program.And their mad that they can't get it they don't want anyone else to either.So getting active has shown me alot and I feel great today because getting active has shown me how to be sober and happy


Member: Liz F.
Location: NJ
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 09:51 AM

Comments

To anonymous, the absolute hardest thing for me was to get it through my head that there's a true problem. I still have difficulty with it, admitting it to myself. But already I feel myself trying to stave off that craving, and it's a battle. Just take it day by day, and if you fall, get back up and tell yourself it's a new day for another chance. Everyone have a great day!


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 09:58 AM

Comments

To Clifford & the others who posted the 'more will be revealed' website. I have read it, & I have found it interesting. True in some respects, & some of it not so true. (in my experience) Still, I would like to know more. I am sober 1 year through A.A., & would like know if you are sober & if so what has worked for you. my email is ....damien_s_m0m@yahoo.com


Member: me
Location: here
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 10:09 AM

Comments

Jack Trimpey is ok and has some good insight, but is not in the realm of knowledge as Dr. Stanton Peele- http://213.130.162.44/ or www.peele.net try it out, the truth about alcoholism and very little of the silliness--just give it a look....


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 11:15 AM

Comments

Member: Lillian Location: Date: 25 Sep 2003 Time: 18:22:03 Comments Ronald F.,Thanks for your reply and info.Unfortunately I kind of suspected that was what a 13th stepper was.I had already been told to get an old timer for advice and that is what I did and I hate to admit it on this open forum but I have been the victim of a 13 stepper and it was by an old timer and I lost my husband of 14 years over this and I have been deserted by the old timer as well and now I am all alone in this great big world.I also tried a female old timer and all she kept telling me was to look at my part and I just wanted to slap her for defending him.I asked her why an old timer who is kept in high regard would take advantage of someone like me who was so vulnerable,all I wanted was some help and I guess in the fog of things of not knowing that I was trying to be accepted I fell weak and then discarded like a dishrag and now my husband is gone.I will visit this site from now on and will never attend another f2f,it was a bad and costly experience for this girl.AA to me now means ALL ALONE


Member: some real
Location: ES&H
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 11:16 AM

Comments

Member: Lillian Location: Date: 25 Sep 2003 Time: 22:21:49 Comments Hi Bill,thanks but no thanks,I learned all I want to about people who I absolutely know nothing about.The person who did this was by all means from an outward appearance was the finest of gentlemen possible.I will never ever place myself in an enviroment that seeks to indoctrinate its beliefs and does the exact opposite.I will not surrender my mind to the idea of being helplessness and powerlessness ever again.I tried it and became truly helpless and powerless and it cost me bigtime.The idiot took advantage of the pink cloud euphoria that I was in being a newcomer and smooth running wrecked my life beyond repair while pretending to help me.All I wanted to do was stop drinking not lose my life.But that is all water under the bridge now.I have not drank in over 4 years and yes I know that it is possible whether I am in an active program or simply living life as I am now that I am just 1 drink away from disaster and I take full responsibility for my actions.I do not believe that I have a disease so therefore this is not a disease talking here.It is me Lillian.As far as I am concerned I am as recovered as one can get.I live everyday to the fullest extent possible and if I ever drink again I can just do the same thing anyone who is active in AA and that is to start refraining from drinking again without the shame and guilt trip that AA puts on a person in order to maintain control,that is all that one can do.I will never ever be in the position again of being controlled and manipulated by anyone in AA or in real life in general.These are not resentments or some anger that the steps dwell on but my damn life we are talking about here and I will control it from now own.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 12:57 PM

Comments

Bob here, alcoholic, 36 hours without a drink. I appreciate the feedback. Right now, other than just becoming part of the community, I don't really have anything to offer anyone else, and I'm not going to try. If it helps that I'm here, good, that's all I've got right now. The way my day works, the next few hours are really easy. Someone mentioned 100 days ... I can't really imagine that yet: 3 months without a drink? I've never heard of such a thing. Right now, I'm just thinking that when the next few hours pass, and lunch is done, and the cocktail hours start, I might actually go to bed sober tonight if I just keep thinking about why I am here.


Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 02:14 PM

Comments

To hear from Bob with 32 hours makes it worth scrolling past the bullshit. Hi Ya'll, I'm Connie a grateful, recovering alcoholic. Bob, I hope you can make it to a face to face meeting real soon, until then this is a great supplement to them. AA is what works for me, one drunk helping another. There's nothing like AA and will never be anything like it. I am living proof this program does work it you want it to.


Member: Shalonda
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 02:38 PM

Comments

Connie,you are living proof that brainwashing is a successful technique.Be good to you.


Member: Connie Sober
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:00 PM

Comments

better to be a brainwashed drunk than a bitter drunk.


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:25 PM

Comments

Connie: bob here, back again to remind myself that I'm an alcoholic. I last wrote at 36 hours, not 32. Haven't been here long enough to understand what the negative comments are about, but I'm not scrolling past them ... they're kind of interesting. Usually, if someone suggested that I was an asshole, I would figure that I'm the biggest asshole in the world, and "hey, that's a good reason to get drunk." But as I read the negative comments here, I'm thinking: "obviously I'm not the biggest asshole in the world, can't use that excuse to get drunk today."


Member: jj
Location: los alamedos
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:28 PM

Comments

but commie dear, oops connie--fruedian-slippage--, what about yourself and your part? sounds like you're a bitter AND brainwashed alkie to me.


Member: jj
Location: los alamedos
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:29 PM

Comments

but commie dear, oops connie--fruedian-slippage--, what about yourself and your part? sounds like you're a bitter AND brainwashed alkie to me.


Member: fanny
Location: flag
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:38 PM

Comments

Bob with 36 hrs.----shit down, shut the hell up and take the cotton out your ears and put it in your mouth.. Damn, I mean who the hell is going to worry about 32 or 36hrs, are you nuts? Oh yeah, you are insane because your a drunk, right pal?


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:48 PM

Comments

Fanny: thanks. Honestly. You just made it easier for me to get through the day.


Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:55 PM

Comments

bob, sorry for mis-stating your sobriety, it's progress for me today. Keep coming back.


Member: Fanny
Location: Flagged
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 03:57 PM

Comments

Bob, that was meant meant for the stupidity that they display, but if it really helped you, then go for it dude!


Member: Connie's inner voice
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 04:27 PM

Comments

Connie how about a recovered drunk not a drunk who will never recover cause you will always be in recovery,duh


Member: OT
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 04:30 PM

Comments

Yeah Connie,what was your part.PIGEON KEEP COMING BACK IF YOU DONT KNOW ANY BETTER AND WE'LL MAKE YOU TOP PARROT IN NO TIME AT ALL.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 04:37 PM

Comments

We have a new employer and how shall it be the outworking of such a day It happens kinda slow when first ya know the lord. The more you have the more you want and it takes time to commune. It might start out as a camping trip that you so enjoyed that there was nothing better for a man to do than to gather up enough money for more. I sat there in the day labor that day as a job came my way and I asked the lord with an inward prayer 'shall we take it' and he shook my head no; Another one came that day and he shook my head yea so we were off to work that day. So you see I work for him he has the say he can shake my head either way every day and in every way. And, if so be there were none job for me we have a better day you see a bit of poverty a loaf of bread is all one really needs and if he is there for thee theres no better day to weigh, just to be with thee hear my plea it seems right to me. amen


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 04:41 PM

Comments

WAS THAT CRAP OUT OF ONE THOSE DAMN BOOKS, Connie ,I would like to commend you on stepping up to the plate and acknowledging that you are brainwashed,now that is true powerlessness.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:01 PM

Comments

Hey, are you an RR person or what? I'm open to listening to you, I just want to know where you're coming from is all. I too haven't drank for a long period of time and am recovered-period. I know I will never drink again unless I want to and decide such, which I don't and won't!!!


Member: Sam
Location: Lake George
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:01 PM

Comments

Hey, are you an RR person or what? I'm open to listening to you, I just want to know where you're coming from is all. I too haven't drank for a long period of time and am recovered-period. I know I will never drink again unless I want to and decide such, which I don't and won't!!!


Member: Sam
Location: Lake George
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:01 PM

Comments

Hey, are you an RR person or what? I'm open to listening to you, I just want to know where you're coming from is all. I too haven't drank for a long period of time and am recovered-period. I know I will never drink again unless I want to and decide such, which I don't and won't!!!


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:21 PM

Comments

Hey ((Bob)), Hope you make it through tonight and many more! Just a suggestion.... Why not after work call the AA hotline and find a local meeting and go. You can pick up a 24 hour chip tonight and listen and learn a little about AA. You may even make a friend or two. This is just a suggestion of course, AA in real life is not like here. This is a website where anyone can post and it can get pretty heated/ mean/ silly at times. I use this as an addition to my regular face to face AA. Keep on scrolling and take what you need and leave the rest. Above someone cut and pasted two posts from another page without the persons permission looking for a fight or as a way to 'dis AA. I hope Lillian does not mind? Although I found it comical she has a right to her own opinion. If you want to throw the baby out with the bathwater try this approach in everyday life to give yourself an excuse to 'dis AA whenever you get yourself in a jam. I have been in AA almost a year and no one has 13th Stepped me but I have been asked out. I had the choice to say (yes) or (no). I have never heard of someone being in a relationship in AA against their own will. Cads are everywhere, male and female, in AA, at work, on the bus. If I used this approach to avoid my own personal responsibility I would never leave my house! I can just picture it... "Hi, I can't come in to work today because a man might want to have an affair with me and I might not be able to say no so I might get my husband upset if he finds out and he might divorce me over it so I think I'll just stay home today". ((((Hello Lillian)))), "Just Say NO", like the Nike commercial and then you won't have to blame AA for your poor choice in men. Even if a man says he just wants to be your friend the minute he steps out of line all you have to say is (stop that)or stop that Buddy!, or stop that now or I'll break your arm! or whatever you like. Ok, I'm just being silly now, I'll stop it already. Kelly ;0


Member: Kerry C
Location: TX
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 05:41 PM

Comments

Seems to be a bit of a misunderstanding concerning recover vs recovered. The first time the Big Book mentions "recovered" is in Chapter 2. "We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, know thousands of men and women who were once just as hopeless as Bill. Nearly all have recovered. They have solved the drink problem." Here are a few more. " Doubtless you are curious to discover how and why, in the face of expert opinion to the contrary, we have recovered from a hopeless condition of mind and body."------"Further on, clear-cut directions are given showing how we recovered."-------"Then let his family or a friend ask him if he wants to quit for good and if he would go to any extreme to do so. If he says yes, then his attention should be drawn to you as a person who has recovered."-----"One of our Fellowship failed entirely with his first half dozen prospects. He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance." There are 5 more uses of the word "recovered" in the first 164 pages of the Big Book. Plus 6 more uses in the rest of the book past pg 164. So clearly the intention of AA is to help alcoholics become fully Recovered from alcoholism.


Member: Liz F.
Location: Nj
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:19 PM

Comments

Kelly, I couldn't agree with you more. AA might not be for everyone.. but it has worked for a heeluva lot of people. As with anything you do, there's always a risk factor involved. The same as giving your child vaccinations. I believe you have to go into it with the right attitude, and convinced you WANT help, not need it. I myself have not yet been to a meeting because I am not ready to make that commitment. Im afraid of failing at it, I don't want to let anyone, or myself down. But I certainly would not let one.. or even a few people's bad experiences discourage me when I can sit here and read the countless good experiences.


Member: Liz F
Location: NJ
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:23 PM

Comments

Oh Yeah Kelly, before the jerky makes a rude comment, the Nike commercial is Just Do It, I believe. LOL


Member: bob
Location: california
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:30 PM

Comments

Kelly. bob here, alcoholic. Thank you. and to Connie, Angie and others too. I understand about the silliness ... not yet what it's about, but certainly what it is. I've been staying active doing a lot of reading (and trying to do my work) ... I read some of the RR stuff but stopped at the part where it said that the guy who drinks isn't me. What I really needed yesterday and today was to publicly admit that I am powerless to control this on my own, and to be in contact with some people like myself. I've done that, and while I don't want to sound naive, I'm really feeling like I can make it to bed sober tonight. Tomorrow I'll work on tomorrow. Right now, I'm really feeling like I can go the rest of the day without a drink (which I sometimes do for a day, often because it gives me a really good excuse to drink more tomorrow). But tomorrow, I expect to wake up knowing that I'm an alcoholic (I've been taking notes), rather than waking up thinking that either: (1) I drank too much the night before, or (2) that I failed to drink as much as I could have. Tomorrow, I hope to start counting days, rather than hours.


Member: Just simply amazed
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:33 PM

Comments

Kelly,you say you have been in AA for 1 year and no one has 13 stepped you yet,you must have a face for radio.Try some others meetings you may have better luck,find one where you have a better chance.For you too criticize the person who experienced the problem is showing your intolerance of others.I think you are just jealous that you have not been 13th stepped yet.I think you have been sidestepped. Kerry,yes the BB speaks of becoming recovered and the program also says that if you leave the group and not work on the steps FOREVER that you will DIE,BE PUT IN JAIL OR IN THE LOONEY BIN,so the only intent is keep one sober one day at a time without new horizons to explore and if you attempt to declare full recovery and say thanks for curing me and I'll be on my way then you know the story Kerry,one will become A DRYDRUNK all because the person finally got done with the steps for the untold number of times and now he will be told you will die without the program,you will drink and blah blah blah.You know the story you have heard it and told it a gazillion times.Yes one is only fully recovered which includes relapses just so as long as they get humbled and start over on the steps again,it never ends.Kerry please do not bore us with what it says on this page or that page or this tradition or that traditions,how many times can you really hear it and work it and pretend like you have never heard it before.You people amaze me.I worked the program and got well and moved on and I dont feel any need to repeat this crap all of my life adn if I meet up with someone who needs help I will inform them to go to AA for treatment but not for a life sentence of manipulation and mind controlling techniques.


Member: CLASS IS IN SESSION
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 06:58 PM

Comments

Stick around long enough Kelly,if you are married be very careful of anyone in the program who seems overly concerned and earns your trust and seems to have all the answers and guidance to your concerns.They may prey upon you waiting for you to drop just enough information and then work very hard on that weakness to achieve their underlying goals and that goal may be to make you think that the program is the only place that you can be understood and that any problems at home is tobe acknowledged as a sign to make AA your life all together and once you do that the true underlying motive is revealed to get you into their bed and wreck your home and all in the name of the program,It happens before one will know what hit them.Are you trying to say that AA IS NOT EVERYDAY LIFE AND JUST SOMETHING THAT YOU CHOOSE TO DELVE IN AT TIMES.


Member: Connie S.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 07:17 PM

Comments

bob, I hope you do go to bed sober tonight, I hope we all do, I think my chances are pretty good. My husband is going to pick me up from work in a few minutes and we're going out to eat - goody - Outback, I get a extra spicy virgin bloody mary with pickled green beans in it, man i love those things, last time there the bartender gave me about 6 of em in a shot glass! Woopee! Then I'll go to my regular nightly meeting and go home, watch TV and go to bed. That's alot different that the actions I used to take, get off work, drive by the beer store, first one I could get to, drive to the liqour store, drive to the dope man, take some pills, drink some beer, go home, fix a drink, smoke some dope, get ready to go to the bar and get wasted, wake up with a hang over and if I wasn't in jail do the same old thing over and over again. Boring as hell, now I get out and live life. My husband enjoys my company now, my child is proud of me and I have true friends in AA. Life is pretty good today.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 07:24 PM

Comments

FOR AN HOUR AT A TIME,HOW TRUE IS THAT.


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 10:19 PM

Comments

Hey Bob in California - keep it going, buddy! You're counting days now, and in a few more days you'll be counting weeks. Just keep that memory that you are powerless over alcohol. But also remember that you have friends out here who are hoping and praying for you to succeed. Keep reading, keep alert to the temptations (the first couple of weekends can be really tough), work hard at not picking up that first drink, and take it one day at a time. You might try thanking your Higher Power (for me it's God - do you have some higher power you can "talk" to?) for each new sober day. I've been sober 7 months now, have said "Thanks" for each and every sober day, and find it helps me want to get through each day sober so I have something to be thankful for tomorrow. Best of luck to you my friend. I look forward to your future posts.


Member: robert
Location:
Date: September 26, 2003
Time: 11:15 PM

Comments

to all the bashers out there. have you heard the word denial? this program may not be for everyone but it is for those who are committed to stop drinking. getting active means learning to have a life away from drinking. a lot of people associate a good time with drinking. getting active is a way to socialize without being drunk. if it takes emptying ashtrays or cleaning up coffee cups to start so what? the real purpose of a meeting is to remind us of where we were before being sober so that by the grace of god we can stay sober one day at a time. i have been sober one year after many years of drinking. i didn't know how to have a good time without a beer. now i do and if you grasp the program you will too. change is always scary, but the place i am now is much better than the place i was. for years before i was ready to really be sober i sounded just like all the bashers. now i know the difference. remember that your higher power is judging you the same way you judge others. have a sober day everyone.


Member: Cindy
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:04 AM

Comments

Hi I'm new to this. I'm and alcoholic and an addict. No sober time yet, even though I don't drink everyday. I certainly think about it every minute. I want to go to meetings but I'm afraid. Mostly of being brainwashed and controlled. I really liked what Sarah said earlier about not making it your whole life. I did AA back a few years ago for 1 year, so I know what goes on. My other problem is that I work in the field (detox nurse) and I'm really nervous about someone in the program seeing me and it getting back to my work. I guess I'm what some people would call a highly functioning alcoholic, which is true in some ways, but I know my life could be so much more without alcohol. Didn't mean to talk so much. Thanks for listening.


Member: HELLOOOOOOO
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:30 AM

Comments

Robert,higher power my ass,you can have a higher power without all the bullcrap.People practice it on a daily basis. Cindy ,honey if you are a detox nurse you should know first hand to act responsible and live life without any substance abuse.You mean to say that you are around addicts all day and it has not rubbed off in the least bit to help you not to use and drink.If that is not enough and after a year of attending AA then obviously you know whether or not you want that for the rest of your life.Be responsible for your actions and get busy living life without any crutch at all.Being in the business you should at least know that self abuse is all choice and bu no means a disease.


Member: Jack
Location: do it your way
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:33 AM

Comments

Cindy hi sure you can stop drinking without AA.But its not easy AA has some hand tools that can help you.Sure you can do it alone but its a harded job its like plowing the fields.N ot everyone needs AA but it helps do it your way if it works thats great good luck. I myself find it hard at times to trust people at times. When people fall they don't like to fall alone their going to grab whatever they can.So when people in AA fall they hate to fall alone their hurt and they don't care they'll hurt you.Everyones different so do what you gotta do its your life not mind.


Member: Jack O.
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:10 AM

Comments

Jack ,you are so sweet and well meaning,but who cares,do you have a lot of chips?


Member: Jane C.
Location: Alaska
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 03:12 AM

Comments

Jane C..alcoholic..I'm not yet active in AA and there really is no excuse for not making one or two meetings a week..but I stay active.. very active in my daily life.the only really slow down time I have is late at night..I run all day long.. and when I'm home I need to always be busy..I really think I would go to FTF meetings if I could find a Womens' night time group..there is none here yet..my daytime hours are pretty much taken..I may be a bit of a loner, but no reason to be lonely..I'm not anymore, but I miss having a few close women friends.. I've been up here for a little over 2 years and it's the first time I can remember not having any close female friends.I know that I'd find them in AA..as for doing it our way..I not only went to AA but I also tried the program called "Women For Sobriety"..it was many years ago so I have no idea if it still exists..it was held at a womans' house and was very comfortable most of the time..I stay active with not only running here and there, but with reading my Bible, and I'm usually up at 5AM week days to listen to a church service..the minister teaches from the Bible and there is something that I hear almost daily that gives me something to think about..along with a lot of hope that God is really watching over all of us..and one thing I've learned about alcoholics is that mostly we are sensitive, intelligent people who somehow found using alcohol was a way to make things easier for us,for whatever problems we may have to live with or get through..sure, I think about alcohol every day, how could we not?..we talk about it all the time, but the desire to take that drink is gone.. Last night we had a restaurant party for my BFs' son, most everyone was drinking beer..the only thought I had was."It would be nice". but it would only create a problem for me I CAN'T HANDLE ALCOHOL..I pray I never pick up a drink again..last night was my first time being around drinkers, while I had coke..with a few other women..I wasn't alone... God be with us through this night and give us a sober week-end.one day at a time or one hour at a time.. whatever it takes..


Member: Some say it is
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 07:06 AM

Comments

Some say its a losing game thats why I came.I have been running threw life its time to walk.Life it to short I have to enjoy some of it.Stop and think what do I want out of life. I'm only here for a short time I mite as well be happy.I see alot of angry people but thats ok at times I feel the same way.They think its a losing game that they can't win.So do as you please its the only way to be happy I guess. If you want to stop good if you don't good its your life not mine.I know I'v been in the fast lane to long its time to slow down and relaxe.Do what you want to do and do want you gotta do schools out


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 08:27 AM

Comments

A beautiful sober good morning to all. Are you stil there Lars? Must have been a tough couple of nights, but if you made it through them, one at a time, you can make it through more days, one day at a time. Maybe that kind of life change would mean something to your wife and kids? Bob in California, are you still with us? Last night was probably tough for you as well. If you made it through that, you are truly now counting days, not just hours. Success builds on itself. It's not easy, but it's worth it. Cindy, I know what you're talking about and am in a similar situation. AA meetings can realy help, but there are things you can do on your own. Prayer and meditation help, and so does keeping a journal, especially writing down your thoughts, worries, fears when you start feeling nervous, jittery, and think a little drink or drugs would take the edge off. You'll find the writing takes the edge off just as well, and you don't feel the guilt adn impending doom. There is also a lot of good stuff to read which you can find at the AA website or in book stores. It takes work and concentration, but you can do it. I'm 7 months sober now and loving every minute of it. Best of luck to all of you. I'll be looking here for you words of success, which will help the rest of us to look forward to another sober 24 hours.


Member: Kirsten
Location: Boston
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 09:12 AM

Comments

Cindy dear lady, you're doing just fine and your concerns are very legitimate. You do not "have to" go to AA meetings. They may be helpful, or they may be harmful, it works both ways. Surely you have a confidant to confide in to some extent, don't you? Not a fellow work member, but maybe a family member, priest, minister, someone? Make an appointment with a psychologist or social worker, see what they have to offer. The point is that there are any number of ways to do this getting sober thing and AA is but one minor option. It is more easily and cheaply available and hence the most common choice, but by no means the only one. Besides, it has many negatives as well and they often ooverwhelm the positives it does posses, but that's a choice it sounds like you've already made about it. Anyway, I wish you the best and know you can do it without AA. Probably even better and easier as there's not nearly as much "outside issue" crap going on as professionals don't generally have all the baggage of AA's. Take a look around at all your options and talk to some others NOT in AA, see what they say. Take everybody's ideas with seriousness, then it's your decision alone. It's your life and noone can live it for you, but if you get in AA and get a controlling sponsor, they'll certainly try to do it for you. Do you really want that? You are not powerless and you can take control of your own life successfully, exactly contrary to what AA says and tries to force EVERYBODY into believing is the case with them. Very sad, but true, they are brainwashers to the extreme, so be careful if you do go that route, that's all.....


Member: Lucy
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 10:04 AM

Comments

Kirsten,I dont think that anyone in the world could have said it better.You are exactly right about everything that you posted. Higher power my butt.


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 10:32 AM

Comments

I am using AA to help me stay sober and don't feel in the least bit brainwashed. The only thing I am powerless against is to stop myself drinking to oblivion AFTER I have picked up that first drink. Once I have started I can't stop until I'm totally paralytic and believe me, I have tried every which way to control it, moderate it...anything to be able to keep on drinking. I've found that I can't. Total abstinence is the only way I'm ever going to have any quality of life. AA has helped me to find a way of stopping drinking but it is only a group of alcoholics like me who mutually support one and other. Just like every other group I've belonged to there are some people I like and some people I don't. Some people talk utter crap, others talk a lot of sense...no-one forces me to listen to any of it against my will. I use AA as a stepping stone to living my life. It enhances my life but isn't my whole life...just a part of it. The programme has given me the tools to stay sober each day and that's what I use it for. A good dose of common sense allows me to 'Take what I need and leave the rest' and a strong sense of my own individuality allows me to adapt the programme to my own life. I can ask for advice when I need it but I can't imagine how anyone in AA can force me to take that advice...unless I allow them to. I sometimes wonder if some of the anger and hatred from those in Rational Recovery stems from their own inability to apply some common sense to what they heard in AA and to realise that there are predators, controllers, bullies etc in every walk of life. Unless the men in RR are all eunuchs and the women are issued with chastity belts on joining...how on earth do they stop people like Lillian being 'preyed' on. I agree with the above poster that there are many different ways to get sober and I believe that people are entitled to choose whichever way works for them. They should visit other sites, read about different methods, try them out, find what works the best for them. AA happens to work for me which is why I choose to come to an AA site and not only get a lot of support but try to give back what was given to me. If I try something and it doesn't work...well that's fine. But I would be very worried if I felt the need to spend most of my waking moments haunting the sites that didn't work and causing as much disruption as I could. I got sober to have a life...hopefully one free of bitterness, anger and hatred. The horrors of alcoholism are still fresh in my mind and I would want any suffering alcoholic to get help from anywhere they can find it. I find it depressing that people who have been through those horrors themselves, are trying to drive those who are still suffering away from a source of help just because it didn't work for them. I would suggest they post the link to the RR page if they feel strongly about it and then let people go and read and make their own minds up...after all they wouldn't want to be seen to be trying to 'brainwash' people against AA would they. I'd also love all you RR posters to answer me one question...just curiousity!! Are the vigilante squads going out to AA sites a compulsory part of belonging to RR are they just something you voluntarily take on yourselves...sort of self appointed missionaries? Love Yvonne


Member: RICK H.
Location: CYPRESS,TEXAS
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 10:37 AM

Comments

NEW COMERS,WELCOME!!! There is very little recovery in this discussion.If you have a problem with alcohol and your life is unmanagable this is not the place for you.The "BIG BOOK" will give you a STEP by STEP outline of how to recover from this progpessive & fatal disease of ALCOHOLISM.You will know a new freedom & happiness unlike anyother if you are honest,open & willing to go to any lengths to stay SOBER and re build your LIFE with twelve simple suggestions.Any life run on self will can hardly be a sucess if when you start drinking you have little or no controll over the amount you yake or cannot stop when you want to.There is a solution & you will find it in the rooms of A.A.,if you want to KEEP COMIN'BACK


Member: Yvonee's friend
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 11:59 AM

Comments

Rick H.,you big dummy,choosing to drink is not a disease it is an irresponsible choice to self destruct. Yvonne honey,perhaps you should go read the RR site,no one belongs to RR,the concept is to cure yourself once and for all and be done with it.RR has no members or old timers to lead the flock.It is just good common sense,something that is not taught in AA.I am not associated with RR at all and I take it at face value for what itis worth just like I do AA. Rick H. and and any other programmed parrot or robot,go check this out:http://www.aadeprogramming.com/index_frames.html When the page comes up click on the words think,think,thing on the left side of the page and your world is revealed.


Member: Gary
Location: New Group with chatroom
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:00 PM

Comments

http://groups.msn.com/AddictsRecovering


Member: Gary
Location: New Group with chatroom
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:00 PM

Comments

http://groups.msn.com/AddictsRecovering


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 12:07 PM

Comments

Gary go solicit somewhere else,out trying to steal cyberones,that is sad.You just remember Gary Bill W. IS WATCHING EVERYTHING AND HE KJUST MIGHT BLOCK YOUR SITE.


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:15 PM

Comments

I must say that why I drink is not really relevant. It may or may not be a disease...it certainly seems to run in families...it definitely does in mine. I have read that a genetic factor has been found but I have also read that there is a strong behavioural component to addiction too. I read a lot about alcoholism when I was still drinking and none of it got me sober. Whatever caused my drinking, the fact remains that I needed to stop and AA showed me how to do that. I'm one of those people who like having other people to talk to about my alcoholism. It was a huge relief to be able to discuss my alcoholism with other alcoholics and to use the support network of AA. I had become very lonely and isolated when I was drinking and was very paranoid about any of my friends finding out. I was a stay at home in the kitchen drinker. I've lost count of the number of times when I've picked up the phone to another AA and just said can you help me please. When my head was going crazy for another drink...well, just talking to another person about it helped me get through another day. Although I've been getting professional help from a counsellor to deal with a lot of issues I find that many alcoholics have been through similar things and it helps me to be able to talk openly to them. I also confide in my non AA friends now so get a lot of balance but in the beginning I was far too ashamed to tell anyone I had a problem. It was the simple fact of belonging to a group that helped me to get over that shame. Actually seeing the wide range of people that alcohol had affected and how they were now living happy and productive lives is what attracted me to AA. I liked the fact that there were no leaders. If I think an oldtimer is talking crap then no-one forces me to listen to them. I've never thought that length of sobriety somehow confers wisdom and genius. They know how to stay sober..that's all. And that's all I go to AA to find out. They are not doctors, psychologists, marriage guidance counsellors etc. If I choose to use them for that...well, more fool me if it ends in disaster. I liked the fact that there were no rules...only suggestions. Okay some of them are pretty strong suggestions but no-one stands over me cracking a whip to make me follow the guidelines. I'm free to choose whether I want to or not and find out for myself if they work. I don't have to have a sponsor if I don't want one. If I do have one I don't have to blindly obey them...their sole purpose is supposed to be to help you through the twelve steps. They can only have as much influence on my life as I allow them. If I feel at all uncomfortable I can walk away. I am responsible for all the decisions I make. There are only 4 meetings a week where I live and it's entireley my choice whether I go to them or not and how many I go to. It is possible to stay sober with internet meetings only and Loners International stay sober by writing letters and listening to tapes if they don't have access to a computer. Many people choose to actually go to meetings though for the fellowship and support. I think a lot of alcoholics are very isolated and alone at the end of their drinking career...many have lost jobs, partners, families. Sitting alone in the house trying to use willpower did not work for me. I needed the human contact of a group...I needed to hear other voices and to be able to talk for the first time about my drinking myself. That's why AA works for me although I can see that it might not be for everyone. I did note that Rational Recovery does have groups around America. Who passes the message on and helps the suffering alcoholic to get sober if everyone leaves the minute they get sober? I also noted that Jack Trimpey does not allow certain views to be posted on the RR page...doesn't that make him a controlling leader of the group in a way? But the biggest thing that got to me when I went there when I was trying to get sober, is that there was not an awful lot of support for stopping drinking...it was mainly anger and hatred about AA and a lot of people who seemed to be living out their lives as supposed victims of AA. They didn't seem very empowered over their lives when they couldn't move on from their experiences with AA, the fact that it didn't work for them. It seemed more of a support group for disillusioned ex- AA members than a place that offered me hope to get sober. That was just my personal view of course!!! Love Yvonne


Member: IGNORANCE IS BLISS
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:36 PM

Comments

WHAT DOES TI MEAN TO BE "13TH STEPPED"?


Member: Yvonne's friend
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:40 PM

Comments

Yvonne,the forum on the RR page is for the ones who have not gotten things together yet.Once you do what you need to do,there will be no need to ever go back to the website and there are no meetings therefore there are no chairs.There is no may to it,it is not a disease,as far as running in the family well duh if thats all that one sees then it is a case of monkey see monkey do.If you see or hear anything to much one just might repeat those actions.Like all the slogans in AA,it usually takes a newcomer several visits before it gets embedded in ones brain.Hell no one in my family has ever drank and always in church,I guess I just made the choice to drink on my own.If it was genetics,one would come out of the womb and need drink of the booze instead of milk.Or do you just think that it lays dormant until one day you come of age and hanging with friends and decide to drink and then the genetics take over,not likely.Yvonne,quit bothering people with phone calls when your beast talks to you.Go seek out your friends that you were hiding your self induced self destuction from and learn how the mind works.PleasE Yvonne this link is for you and should open your eyes along with the RR site and if you dont get it,then it must be that imaginary disease running your life.http://www.aadeprogramming.com/index_frames.html


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:42 PM

Comments

Go read the 12 and 12 meeting page and that will explain the 13th stepper.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 01:44 PM

Comments

Yvonne,you need a support crutch like a whiplash victim needs a neck brace.You ar ethe key to your success.How many times can you hear the same old why I drnk and its my disease excuse to realize that that is all that itis a crutch.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 02:04 PM

Comments

THE 12 AND 12 IS NOT EASILY ACCESSIBLE RIGHT NOW...JUST TYPE IT...PLEASE


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 02:49 PM

Comments

IF YOU CANT SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE AND THEN GO TO THE DISCUSSION PAGE AND THEN SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM AND THEN HIT 12 AND 12,THEN MORE THAN LIKELY YOU NEED TO BE 13TH STEPPED.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 03:03 PM

Comments

DID EVERYTHING YOU SUGGESTED. STILL DON'T UNDERSTAND.....SO 13TH STEP ME......IF YOU CAN!


Member: Joe C.
Location: Central Virginia
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 04:07 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Joe and I am an alcoholic. I started when I was 15 years old, went to rehabs twice, I am now 51 and still drinking heavy. I don't get a good feeling from booze anymore, I just drink to help cope with many issues I am going through at this time. I see a Psych and they want to start me on an anti-depressant called Remeron. They claim it will help me cope with life without booze. I really need all the advice I can get on getting and staying sober. I have a nine year old boy that needs me to be around for quite a while. Thank you.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 05:33 PM

Comments

Hey ((Yvonne)) Just had to say it looks like you have your hands full here! Vigilante Squads...I loved that, and wondered if that was not what was going on. You made too many great points to comment on them all right now but after a busy day it was great to read. ((Bob))Hope today finds you sober and looking into getting to the basics. Go to meetings, get a sponsor, read your Big Book and keep reading and posting here. Gotta run 4 now.... Kelly :)


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 06:34 PM

Comments

Hi Joe C. You know you need help and are asking for it. That's a good sign. The anti-depressant might help keep you on a more even keel. Did the Psych mention writing in a journal? I've found that helps me. Sometimes when I'm nervous and would in past times take a drink to help me through it, instead now I write in my journal. I write about the things that are bothering me, and then whether I can do anything about them. Someitmes there's nothing I can do, and I just have to accept that. Sometimes there is something to do, and writing about it helps me plan my actions. If you're religious, prayer helps - just to be able to ask "someone" for help with staying away from alcohol. Also ask yourself if alcohol ever makes things better. When I ask myself that, I can't think of a time when it did help. I drank for 40 years, somtimes heavy, sometimes "socially". I've been sober 7 months and still feel the same about alochol never really helping anything. In fact, most times, it mades things much worse. There are also a lot of inspirational things you can read and can find on the AA website. One of my favorites is "A Day At A Time", which gives you a short passage to read every day. Another is the big blue book, "Alcoholics Anonymous" which gives you a lot of stories that you will find something in common with, and also many good exercises to do to realize you really don't need alcohol. I wish you the best of luck and will be thinking about you and praying for your success. Let us know how you do.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 06:54 PM

Comments

Thanks for the reply. Yes, I do write a daily journal and it does help. It's just at night when it gets near bed time is when I crave most. Then I start and don't stop. Iam going to get into a detox program and stay on the meds the doc gives me. I will let ya'll know how I do. Thanks Joe Cal


Member: Dennis
Location: PA
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 07:52 PM

Comments

Thanks for the reply Joe C. At night is when I do my reading - A Day At A Time, Bible passages, some other good "self-help" book. It helps me - might help you. Good luck with the detox program. Your son needs you, and you wouldn't be much use drunk or dead. I hope you have a sober night. You'll feel better tomorrow.


Member:
Location:
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 08:23 PM

Comments

you people just won't make it I don't care what you think


Member: Grateful
Location: For Today
Date: September 27, 2003
Time: 11:28 PM

Comments

Hey Above, Thanks for the ES&H! I'm making it just fine and even passing it on because of the surplus. Thank you AA and HP for everything you give me...Grateful


Member: SuzyQ
Location: Ct
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 03:13 AM

Comments

Hey,is anybody out there?


Member: Yvonne
Location: Scotland
Date: September 28, 2003
Time: 04:24 AM

Comments

((Joe C))..I find the AA book called Living Sober invaluable for giving practical advice on how to stay sober in those first days. It is available at most AA meetings but can also be ordered online from the official AA website. I also found picking up the phone and talking to another alcoholic always helped me through those terrible craving nights. Posting on here helped too...as frequently as I needed to. On the practical side...drinking lots of sweet drinks seems to help too. The cravings do pass and eventually become less. Good luck! ((Dennis))..thank you for a very good post. ((My friend))..I read your link and agree that AA is not perfect. I can't think of any group that is. But it does work for me. I need the support of other people, I like the positive changes that working the programme has brought into my life and have exercised my freedom of choice to continue belonging to AA...with my eyes wide open and the hope that any negative aspects can be openly discussed and addressed! Here in UK we do have official guidelines draughted to protect newcomers from any form of harrassment or discrimination. I can appreciate that you might have strong views but would ask that you give us the courtesy here of treating us like intelligent adults. This page is up for a whole week. Perhaps you could post your link once a week and then allow people to make up their own minds. Belittling people for their views does not do your case much good...you seem to be using the same methods that you accuse some oldtimers in AA of using...eg.if I don't accept your point of view then my imaginary disease is running my life! At this moment I am freely choosing to stick with something that has completely changed my life for the better. It has given me the confidence to get out in the world and study for a degree, to join a gym, to buy my own house, to travel and to make new friends. I can only pass on my own experiences to other people and so far my experience is that AA has helped me to stay sober. I'll always be grateful for that. Love Yvonne