Member: Bee
Location: NE
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 08:00 AM
Making major decisions? I am happy to feed my cats, pay my bills and do the usual stuff. Any inkling that I should do anything major is put on the back burner.
Member: Trace
Location: Essex England
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 10:16 AM
For me a major decision was whether I should have another drink, so now I don't have any to make.
Member:
Location:
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 12:38 PM
I'M YOUR DISEASE I hate meetings. I hate a Higher Power. I hate anyone who has a program. To all who come into contact with me, I wish you suffering and I wish you death. Allow me to introduce myself; I am the disease of addiction. CUNNING, BAFFLING AND POWERFUL, that's me. I have KILLED millions and I am pleased. I love to catch you with the element of surprise. I love pretending I am your friend and lover. I have given you comfort, have I not? Wasn't I there when you were lonely? When you wanted to die, didn't you call me? I was there. I love to make you hurt. I love to make you cry. Better yet I love to make you so numb you can neither hurt nor cry. When you can't feel anything at all, this is true glory. I will give you instant gratification and all I ask of you is long term suffering. I've been there for you always. When things were going right in your life, you invited me. You said you didn't deserve these good things, and I was the ONLY ONE who would agree with you. Together we were able to DESTROY ALL things GOOD in your life. People don't take me seriously. They take strokes seriously, heart attacks seriously, even diabetes they take seriously. Fools that they are, they don't know that without my help many of these things would not be made possible. I am such a hated disease, and yet I do not come uninvited. YOU CHOOSE TO HAVE ME. So many have chosen me over REALITY and PEACE. More than you hate me, I hate all of you who have a Twelve-Step Program. Your Program, your Meetings, your Higher Power, ALL WEAKEN ME and I can't function in the manner I am accustomed to. Now I must lie here quietly. You don't see me, BUT I AM GROWING, BIGGER Than EVER. When you only exist, I may live. When you live, I only exist. BUT I AM HERE . . . and until we meet again, if we meet again, I WISH YOU SUFFERING AND DEATH.
Member: Carlc
Location: tx
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 01:38 PM
The only major decision we have to make is the third step, made a decion to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God. Then when we get to the 11th step ask only for knowledge of his will for us and the power to carry it out. Where did our major decision making get us?
Member: jude
Location: n.ireland
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 02:01 PM
I was on antibuse for several weeks and decided to go off them,thinking i could cope.But after about a week i took a drink.Does this make me a bad person or am i only paraniod.
Member: jude
Location: n.ireland
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 02:10 PM
I was on antibuse for several weeks and decided to go off them,thinking i could cope.But after about a week i took a drink.Does this make me a bad person or am i only paraniod.I also feel as if i'm being watched by everyone else,because i'm afraid of letting them down.Othere people dont understand what i'm going through,they seem to be blind.They dont understand what is like to be me,i feel like walking into an ocean where i know nobody can touch me.
Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 02:31 PM
Jude what ever helps you to stay sober isn't that a drug to help you not drink? I am not sure but thought I remember someone saying that was to help you not drink. I'm Diane and today is day 96 sober let's see major decisions? To stay sober trust in my God and try and live a good life...Diane
Member: Troll
Location: On the hillside
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 03:02 PM
Can we please have a discusion on the topic of what consists of "major" and for and from whom is this to be decided? Isn't it extremely relative and "terminally unique" for each and every one of us? Who is to tell someone else not to have sex for a year, or buy another house, or change jobs, or even work at all, ad infinitum? NOBODY-BUT NOBODY!!! That's who? I'm with Carlc. on the whole sponsorship thingy and they don't need to be telling anyone else what they need to do and not do, that's crap! The general idea is good, the people in AA are not so good with it though, so watch out with this particular topic as it's wide-open for all the brain-washed ideas of sponsor-sponsee bulls_it!! Tell 'em Carlc. ole buddy. The only thing worse than when people say "my sponsor says" is when they say, "I tell my sponsee's"! What ego's and idolotry of idiots all at the same time! How 'bout this major decision---Do NOT get a sponsor, but a "friend" or "spiritual advisor/director" to help you through the steps. They can be in the program or not, as long as they are knowledgable of the steps and the process. That's amajor decision I've never regretted and I've been sober a long time!
Member:
Location:
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 04:23 PM
TROLL~ I Agree with you, I think
Member: JoannaB
Location: Mexico
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 04:26 PM
Here's a major decision for me: returning to AA after 18 years of sobriety followed by 18 months of drinking again. What a con job I did on myself. If I don't focus on the first three steps, my mind is ready to take me right down the drain. Glad this cyber meeting is here as there are no English meetings in the summer where I am in Mexico. Am planning a trip to the states and an eventual return so I can go to live meetings and get my life centered back on God. I have those 18 years to draw on. I want another 18 plus. it is hard to be a newcomer again, and I fear my ego needs trimming. Thanks for being there.
Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 06:50 PM
Welcome JoannaB how many sober days you got this time? I'm on day 96 myself and I use this web site for my meetings, no excuse just live in the sticks and find this site is very helpful for me but I'm sure most folks need meetings but till you get back to the states this board works....Diane Ok
Member: John R.
Location: Bama
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 07:56 PM
Major decisions; I was faced with a whopper of a decision 3 months ago........I had been working for the same company for 11 years and got a chance at a better paying job with a major corp. I prayed about it, shared at meetings about it, and even flipped a coin. I made the change. It was a VERY frighting experiece for me at first, now I don't regret it at all. God, as I understand Him, hasn't left me, He's still there pointing me in the right direction.
Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 10:09 PM
Carrie - alcoholic, I pray.
Member: David T.
Location: NC.
Date: June 29, 2003
Time: 10:23 PM
My sponsor tells me to keep it simple. I did things my way and that got me in this mess. I trust GOD and my sponsor for, Good Orderly Direction
Member: Carlc
Location: Texas
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:15 AM
To Troll, one of the guys that helped me told me Dont walk behind me I may not want to lead you, Dont walk in front of me I may not want to follow you, just walk beside me and be my frien. Our book says strenuous work one alcoholic with another was vital to permanent sobreity, it also says that nothing will insure immunity from drinking like intensive work with another alcoholic. Thank you for your post, you will not be well liked for your stand , but someone once said even if your are a minority of one the truth is still the truth.
Member: Timm
Location: Alabama
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:20 AM
DAY FOUR. >>Jude N. Ireland>> My understanding of antabuse is that if you take the drug and then drink, you’ll become “violently” ill. A couple of years ago I asked a doctor if she would prescribe if for me and she refused. It seems most recovery experts seem to be either outright opposed to antabuse, or feel it has long-term benefits only in conjunction with some sort of treatment, but should not be relied on as a treatment or for long-term use. I believe the rationale is that antabuse doesn’t address the underlying reason(s) we abuse alcohol or drugs. Also, other people probably don’t know what you are going through, but we do and I for one am glad you’re here; keep coming back as long as you find this site beneficial for you, and then keep coming back for the rest of us.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:35 AM
Hi All, No major decisions... Well, I try and keep it simple but my 9 months of sobriety have had some important decisions that could not wait. I had to sell my house, move into an apartment. Find a home for my beloved dog who could not come. Those were tough but unavoidable. The thing I could have avoided is dating in the first year but after 7 months I felt ready to give it a whirl. It has been fun until recently because one man I really like and I don't like how attached I am getting to him. I have man issues and I think I got in over my head on this one. Now I am pushing him away because I don't want to get too involved. I have to work on myself and my program to stay sober. I feel totally trapped and it is going to be so hard to go back to being just friends. He is not taking me backing off well but I can't give away what I don't have. I can see why a decision that makes me feel this uncomfortable could make me want to drink. Today I gave it some thought and prayer. I asked God for guidance in making up my mind on this. I went up north with some friends and did some white water rafting minus the raft on Swift River. It is like body surfing in the rapids. We hit a meeting on the way home and I felt great and relaxed when I got home. That is until I heard his message on my machine and got his note under my door. Yikes! Decisions, decisions. I don't want to drink over this but it is really tough to do the right thing and fish or cut bait. I need to do the next right thing and with Gods guidance I will make the right decision. Wish me luck! Kelly
Member: Timm
Location: Alabama
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:38 AM
If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. -- Katharine Hepburn, who passed away today at age 96
Member: D-flat
Location: ND
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:39 AM
I agree,, i found help and got sober, I needed that person in my life at the time to help me through the steps and to get over some of the mole hills i made into mountains, he wasnt a marrige counsler,docter, pscytrist, banker, or anything that i thought i needed, he was a friend who shared his experiance. now today I try whenever i can to do the same. and i find being in a close relationship with my higher power fills me with what i need and that relationship is simple and honest.ive had some major decisions to make in sobriety and some were big changes and they felt right and it has changed my life and some were probably made by my ego and ive had to learn to deal with them and correct them,but life can be alot of waiting and trusting that God has a plan for my life. PEACE
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 12:55 AM
Welcome Back AzBill, Hope you had a swell vacation. Missed ya. Kelly
Member: Trollin
Location: Around
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 01:16 AM
Yeah Carlc. old pal, you're right again. People in AA get violently INtolerant when you disagree with the "canned" sayings they use without thought, much less experience. I've had a spiritual advisor/director throughout my sobriety--8 yrs.-- and while not always the same one, they've always walked beside me just as you said! That's the major decision to talk about--How to pick someone who is going to help you find your own path in sobriety and life. Not a sponsor who tells you what they did and that's the way you should you do it too or you won't stay sober, that's sooooo stupid. Sponsors are the one's who are generally idiots, not the sponsees as they are just trying to get sober and don't know any better. The general sponsor gets so full of himself that they exhort their personal greatness at meetings about "I tell my sponsees, etc. etc." crap at meetings and I just want to puke all over the place!!
Member: terryD
Location: NY
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 01:54 PM
Hi - I am new to this site and just starting out on sobriety - I think my major decision at this point is the decision to not drink - I have to start with that - can you tell me when the obsession to drink goes away (after how many days-weeks-months sober)? I am looking forward to feeling better
Member: Molly
Location: Montana
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 02:35 PM
Terry---male or female type?-- This is the deal, down and raw-dog dirty for ya girl; sometimes it happens quickly with or without a flash of light or maybe a burning bush if you're really lucky. Sometimes it's a slow, gradual process and you don't even know it's happened until it's happened for a while(this is generally the case). Other times it doesn't happen for years and years and it's a terrible struggle----ICK!!! And even worse, sometimes it doesn't happen at all and we die!! Which one you'll be is anybody's guess sweetheart, but your asking a question only God can answer, and He ain't here on this site today. Best thingy you could probably do is go to a real meeting and snatch another woman(if you are indeed a woman) and ask her the same question you asked here. I have total confidence if she's over a year or so sober she'll take care of all your basic questions from there. In the meantime, feel free to ask as many questions here and as often as you'd like, that's what it's for honey. Glad your here, welcome to cyberAA, we're happy to have ya!
Member: terry D
Location: NY
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 02:45 PM
Molly -- the female type - and thank you for the reply - I will be back
Member: Sue
Location: USA
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 05:35 PM
Well, I have so many ideas in my head but first of all I must say the begining of all the postings made me cry..the thing about "alcohol being there" or something to that effect. The sad thing is that I've found that to be my truth so many times. Like today I have called my best friends twice..noone home...my mom cut me off..too busy...husband..busy at work...sister..busy...we are all too busy until we really "need" each other but today I needed someone to care and talk to and I had noone....I was alone once again and all I had was my beer...someone tell me how in the hell can I replace what is there for me when noone else is.....Everyone wants to judge us but do they really help us??
Member: Timm
Location: Alabama
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 05:39 PM
<<TerryD NY>>. I think Molly is absolutely right, there are as many experiences and variations on experiences as there are people in AA. This is my fifth day on this site and my fifth day without drinking, so others who post here are far more qualified than I to give you the wisdom of their experience. But no matter what, if you stub you toe along the way and drink again, don’t give up. Congratulations on your MAJOR decision, and welcome to the site. - - - -“ He who limps is still walking”. -- Stanislaw J. Lec
Member: ConnieN
Location: Minnesota
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 05:43 PM
I've been out of inpatient treatment for two weeks...the week before I went into treatment my husband and I had just purchased a house and just sold our existing house. Problem is we can't move into our new house until October and the closing date for our existing house was today, so we had two weeks to pack everything into storage and move into our park-model camper out at a camping village. My marriage is a wreck, I'm in personal counseling, I'm seriously tempted to drink tonight, and I've had to find temporary homes for my two pets. I've got 54 sober days under my belt. Tell me about making major decisions while in early sobriety! One day at a time. That's all I can do.
Member: Sue
Location: NY
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 05:47 PM
Ok, I thought my ideas printed b/f, forgive me if it prints twice. I must say I teared up reading the first passage. Today was one of those days (of many days) where I felt I needed someone, anyone, and came up empty. I called my best friend twice..nothing...my mom cut me off after my 1st sentence..she was waiting for a call afterall (her mechanic) and I was here alone needing/wanting someone to talk to and my husband was waay too busy at work for me and my petty thoughts, after all I don't matter, I'm just home taking care of his kids..who cares...I'm nothing...ask anyone...they'll tell you, anything my kids hate or are not happy with..well, it's my fault...so dammit alcohol makes me feel better. I've had sponsers...if I disappeared they never followed up..didn't care...just made me feel like nothing again. My family says they care but I'm feeling so very alone and when I need to talk they are way too busy...someone please tell me why alcohol is worse...it's all I have...
Member: Connie N
Location: Minnesota
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 06:02 PM
(((SUE)))) Are you in a place where you can go to face-to-face meetings? In my experience, those have always been the best. I tried doing AA three years ago, stayed sober 9 months, then quit going to meetings. I ended up in treatment 8 weeks ago, and have been out two weeks now...while I was in treatment I got established with a fantastic group of AA'ers...which led me to finding a few good groups closer to my home town. Face to face meetings work for me; there's something about having a place to hang out with people who understand you that makes alcohol feel just a little less than inviting. Hang in there, and if I can suggest it, find a live meeting. These cyber groups are OK when you can't do a face to face meeting, but it's tough to give someone a hug or a firm handshake via keyboard. :o)
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 07:23 PM
HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Why thank you Kelly. You made my day. It has been said that the really major decision is the decision made in the third step and that only boils down to me making the decision to seek God or some power outside myself. After some time in recovery I found myself able to make some rational decisions. (and some not so rational as well). About my 6th or 7th year I quit the VA hospital in Denver, went to work at a hospital in Baltimore, MD, Quit that in 7 months, got fired from a hospital in Cumberland, Md. Within an hour or two got a phone call offering a job in a cancer research lab in WVa. They ran out of money. I finally wound up with the best job of my life just 12 miles from the starting point. Were these unwise decisions. Heck, I don't know. But I do know this.. I had to step on every stepping stone along the way to get where I am today. But should I forget even for one minute from where I came from I could be back pounding on that bar wondering how I got there, Love ya... az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA TN
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 10:17 PM
HI I'M MARK, ALCOHOLIC DAY 48 ALL I CAN SAY IS I CAN'T HE CAN AND I THINK I'LL LET HIM ONE DAY AT A TIME(SOMTIMES ONE MIN AT A TIME
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA TN
Date: June 30, 2003
Time: 11:24 PM
mark alcoholic sue as long as you have a higher power you will never be alone seek and you will find(only 48 days sober) and NEVER ALONE!!!!
Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 12:39 AM
so true Mark M and what a great meeting tonight so many good thoughts, I am Diane I've been sober 97 days today and life is better each day and my desire to not drink is about gone but my God is always there for me, I live in the sticks with no friends and no family close by but I always have my God to get me through the day and when I need someone to talk to he is always there for me... God Bless..... Diane Oklahoma....ps.... going on vacation so will be back next Sunday
Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 12:42 AM
forgot to say Welcome back AZbill wondered where you had went?
Member: Trace
Location: Essex England
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 09:24 AM
((cARRIE)) how is it going.
Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 10:31 AM
I have 5 months and 11 days, most importantly, I am sober TODAY. I dreamt last night that a AA friend told me i could have a glass of wine if I wanted to, so I started searching for the wine in the grocery store - all the while knowing deep down that I couldnt have just a glass of wine. Isnt it great that even my dreams are getting honest?!?! Even when asleep I know I am an alcoholic. ((Trace)) how you doing? Get rid of your mini bar yet?? ; )
Member: angie
Location: costa mesa cali
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 01:12 PM
hi there angie alcoholic/addict here .... hi carrie good to see your post ... was wondering about you ... wow major decisions what a great topic... seems the longer i stay sober the more major every decision i seem to make becomes... probably just my alcoholic mind making everything seem much more complicated then it really is .... i know that today i definetly dont make any major decisions on my own ... i run them by someone first ... i just dont trust my head yet .... it's gotten me into so much damn trouble my entire life .... and thank god i have learned that in recovery ... thank god i see that today ... my good ideas ... jeez ... good for who??? they usually weren't very good for me ..... cant imagine they were good for anyone really .... so i run my decisions by a perosn or two or three first..... seems to work out best for me that way....
Member: Tom
Location: NY
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 02:09 PM
Day 16. Still sober and thankful for it. Mick: Hope you are well
Member: angie
Location: sunny beautiful southern california
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 02:31 PM
tom ....way to go ... keep it up .... i am glad to see you all post on here ... and keeping track of your days .... i pray for each of you everynite .... keep coming back ....
Member: Christine D
Location:
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 05:07 PM
Only my second day sober - but I have DECIDED in my heart to turn to God again - I started drinking a short time ago after more than 18 years of being sober - I didn't think I had a drinking problem back then but I found God and stopped on my own (no one in the congregation drank). I turned my back on my very real higher power who has already defeated the DISEASE and now I am sorry and ready to live for God. It won't be easy I know. and it is true all we have is this one day - no one knows what tomorrow may bring - but I can trust God to be there --- always.
Member: DebLH
Location: Fond du Lac, WI
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 05:13 PM
Debbie, recovering addict/alcoholic, Sue, I'll keep you in my prayers. I remember that feeling, but you know alcohol doesn't work, or you wouldn't be trying to get sober. We are never alone. God will be there if we can surrender. Just don't give up and keep coming back, here you are heard. I just found this site today, what a wonderful resource for between meetings.I was feeling like my life was overwhelming when I first started reading, but each post I read here reminds me what it was like. Today might be tough, but it's still better than the insanity of my using days. I like what Angie had to say about running decisions by other people, I have been sober awhile and still find that to be the best idea. Even early in sobriety sometimes major decisions are unavoidable and though I've come a long way I still like to give God the opportunity to speak through a another person, somebody that isn't as emotionally invested in a decision as I am
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 08:46 PM
HI FOLKS MARK,ALCOHOLIC HERE DAY 49 C/S I'M HAVING A HARD DAY TODAY CAN'T GO TO A MEETING (NO DRIVERS LICENSE NO ONE TO DRIVE ME IT LOOKS LIKE IT'S JUST ME AND THE CYPER MEETING TONIGHT OF ALL THE DAYS C/S THIS IS THE HARDIST ONE I NEED TO TALK TO SOMONE VOICE TO VOICE I WLL TRY TO MAKE IT THROUGH IT (THANK GOD NO BEER OR POT IN THE HOUSE) PS IF ANYBODY OUT THERE WENT TO NEW LIFE LODGE IN TENN FOR REHAB EMAIL ME KIDMILLS117@AOL.COM OR IF SOMBODY WOULD CALL ME BEFORE 9:15PM TONIGHT JUST TO TALK FOR A MIN OR TWO I WOULD BE GREATFUL THANKS
Member: MartyG
Location: CowtownOH
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 10:45 PM
AZBill welcome back,you give me some good ideas to think and work on. Thanks man. I decide to not drink tonight. I decide to be happy tonight. I decide to tell you all I love you tonight. I decide to talk with my God tonight. I decide to deicide tonight. At least I am able to make a decision. Love one another. meg
Member: MartyG
Location: CowtownOH
Date: July 01, 2003
Time: 10:45 PM
AZBill welcome back,you give me some good ideas to think and work on. Thanks man. I decide to not drink tonight. I decide to be happy tonight. I decide to tell you all I love you tonight. I decide to talk with my God tonight. I decide to deicide tonight. At least I am able to make a decision. Love one another. meg
Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, ohio, USA
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 12:55 AM
Hi all, I'm Melanie, an alcoholic. Early in sobriety, my sponsor introduced me to "the four absolutes." I got a pamphlet at a meeting by that title, see if you can find it, too. When a major decision needs to be made, I try to evaluate my options on the basis of honesty, unselfishness, purity and love. It's been tricky to practice all of these, but the separate components are simple guides for me when I get confused. All of these ideals are so opposed to the way I used to live my life that it has taken conscious practice to incorporate them even in small ways into my thoughts and actions. The work pays off, though. Today, I can live with the Me that I've become as a result of the A.A. program. It's great to see all the new people accumulating and counting those days! Don't be afraid to ask anything that's on your mind. We have been there and we care. Keep up the goood work! God helps those who work the steps! Blessings to you all!!!
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 02:04 AM
Hi, Stacy, alcoholic. The only major decision I make is the one not to drink today. It was a major decision for me to commit to AA for a year. I resist the urge to make ANY other major decisions daily. Sobriety has me thinking about making radical changes in my life. I've been told to slow down, no major changes/decisions for a year. Recovery is all I can manage on top of being a good wife/mom/friend today. Thanks.
Member: Kim C
Location: BC, Canada
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 09:42 AM
My name is Kim....i am a suffering alcoholic. i need help....desperately. i feel so alone. i am destroying my relationship with a man i love completely....i am hurting my kids by allowing them to witness my losing battle with alcohol. Amanda H....Melanie....where are YOU....i need you...please contact me if you can.
Member:
Location:
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 09:44 AM
Mark M.----Check your e-mail and reply with your number, I'll give ya a ring...........
Member: Matt R
Location: Frisco, Texas
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 01:05 PM
WELCOME to the new members Brian and Howard ! :-)
Member: Matt R
Location: Frisco, Texas
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 01:13 PM
My major decisions ... to NEVER again decieve anyone ... I recently destroyed my marriage because of this and alcohol. Think the two were related ?? ;-) For the first time in my life I have discovered that My God will help me with this. Funny how you go all through your life and then all of a sudden something happens to change everything and make it right ;-) I do not post much, but I read all that is going on here every day ... such a help it has been ... thank you all. 46 days sober
Member: Bob B
Location: NJ
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 03:40 PM
Hi, I'm Bob and I am an Alcoholic. To CarlC, I'm glad you spoke openly about sponsorship. The 3 major decisions I made were to A)stop drinking, B)find GOD and clean house and C)not to get a sponsor. Best decisions I have ever made. I,ve been sober almost 5 yrs DOS- 7/25/98. To the newcomer: Remember AA has 2 parts - The Fellowship, and "The PROGRAM OF RECOVERY" found in the book ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS. All those Sayings "90 in 90" "no relationships in the 1st year" and so on are just egotistical sponsor BS. In 1939 the Program in the fellowship and the program in the book Alcoholics Anonymous were the same. Today the book is still the same and the fellowship is somewhere out in left field, thats why the sobriety %% is so low today. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: stuart f
Location: london uk
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 06:21 PM
Bill W had a sponsor...Dr.Bob had a sponsor...what's your problem? In the early days alkies were taken through the programme BEFORE they were taken to a meeting! Whatever your opinions - stick with your experience - the message of AA is you WILL recover "from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body" if you DO this programme not THINK or OPINE. WE KILL PEOPLE IN THIS FELLOWSHIP WITH OPINIONS. Do the work - and living in fit spiritual condition one day at a time you need NEVER DRINK AGAIN...EVER
Member: Randall K.
Location: Ohio
Date: July 02, 2003
Time: 08:31 PM
Hamlet mused..."To be, or not to be" regarding the option of whether to live or die. Today I'm beginning my third week of not drinking.(I can't really say whether I feel"sober" yet - I.ve done a mondo job of messing myself up physically, mentally, and spiritually with thirty years of booze & drugs). Nevertheless I have one simple life-or-death decision to make daily - DON'T DRINK & DON'T DRUG! Other than that, I don't have any major decisions to make in my life at this point. But if I did, I would ask myself how the decision (in addition as to regards myself) would affect others. How would the decision be a blessing in the lives of those around me? I pray daily for God's direction in my life; not as I will, but as Thou (God) wilt have me do. I have to stop making decisions based on self-will, all that has done for me is cause me interminable grief and despair. Even now I'm writing this while I feel like my mind is still in an alcoholic fog. I'm glad I found this site, even though I get to live meetings. Can't wait until I feel like I have my head on straight; I've been told it's going to be a considerable while. Good discussion. Y'all chill back & be cool. Peace.
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 12:00 AM
hey just mark m alcoholic here had i good day 50 i made my meeting got to talk feel great ps hey to mark m god bless to all
Member:
Location:
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 12:36 AM
Hi markm, its the other one, shhhhh......... I'll e-mail ya and tell ya the deal......
Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 12:57 AM
What is a major decision? Any decision is, of course, a state of mind and ones mind can change, rapidly, before any action is taken. Without action a decision is moot and is therefore meaningless. It seems I've no real understanding of the "suggested topic" which is not surprising. Anyway, good luck to the new people and the old people and, I suppose, the in-between people on gaining and maintaining sobriety.
Member: Anna N.
Location: WA
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 01:16 AM
anna, still alcoholic. this site is a life saver for me tonight, must be another God thing. i hate the AA cliches but use em all the time. i agree w/ troll, no sponser, no sponsees. friends. i do have a problem w/ authority and who says that just because you are further along in your sobriety you know what will work for me. you are not me. anyway, big decisions...not lying. biggest today at least.
Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 02:39 AM
Hi, KIM C.!! It sounds like you have a lot to lose if you keep drinking. Me too. The night my husband left me for what I thought would really be the last time, I finally picked up the phone and called some numbers. I was in treatment the next day. If you have really had enough of the hell you're living in, just pick up the phone and call your local AA. I know it's scary! Just don't psych yourself out with the "what ifs" and fear of the changes to come. After all, you KNOW what's to come if you continue the way you are. And what you don't know, you can guess won't be good. That night, I pictured myself alone in an efficiency apartment with a mattress on the floor, a lamp, a portable TV and a bottle. Free to drink whenever I wanted to, but completely alone...Now that's scary!! Today, I have a husband and step kids and a grand baby (I'm his youngest granny,hehe!) I hope I can say that it really was the last time my husband would leave me. And It Started With A Phone Call! You can do it!!! Let us know how you're doing, even if you don't stop drinking right away. We all had a first day. We want to be part of yours! Love and blessings!
Member: Trace
Location: Essex England
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 08:18 AM
hI ((all)) Its funny how over the days that turn into wks that turn into months, we change rather like a caterpilli that grows to become a butterfly. What layers ((fears)) I had in the first days are no longer fears but shreds of skin that I can now look back at and smile. Instead of the obviouse first worrys of being able to pass a pub or attend a BBQ. Now I attend BBQ with the worry of Have I done his work the best I could today, phew what a worry LOL! This is just my view that I hope may help someone. ((CARRIE< TOM)) tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson MI
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 08:47 AM
Mike, alcoholic. I will always have major decisions to make throughout my life. It is how I decide what to do that makes the difference. My old way was to jump in with both feet. Now I think about the decision, ask people's advice and ideas, and most importantly pray to God about it. By going slow I can make corrections as I go along. Carlc, I like your negative input. It makes me search myself to make sure my thinking and motives are correct. Early on I had sponsors that only messed me up but they did help me stay sober. Now I have a few close friends in the program that I can ask advice from without them telling me to do it their way or else! Thanks to all for being here.
Member: a fellow traveller
Location: on the awesome journey
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 11:40 AM
I have been reading the posts here for a few months but have never felt the need to write until today. The main thing I would like to say is that in reference to Molly's post to Terry about God not being here...well for me, God IS here. I feel his presence everytime I drop by. You guys all carry the Spirit whether you realize it or not so I just want to say thanks for helping me stay sober.
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA TN
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 12:55 PM
markm alcoholic day 51 just woke up feel GREAT!! drank my morning water(it use to be a beer) smoked a cig (use to be a joint) i have a positive outlook on the day now i'm going to a meeting this is to everybody MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND HAVE A AWESOME DAY
Member: cneisen
Location: minnesota
Date: July 03, 2003
Time: 02:44 PM
Connie, Alcoholic here. I'm on day #47...didn't actually think I'd make it through Monday, but I did! Going through a lot of crap right now with relationships and stuff. On Monday, as much as I wanted a temporary break from all of these problems (just four hours of oblivion is al I'm asking for,I told myself) I knew I'd kick myself black and blue the next day. Besides, alcohol is what got me here in the first place. As far as making decisions, I'm actually in a position to start making decisions, even if they're small ones...something I've been unwilling to do in the past several years. AA has certain promises--I'm working on the patience it takes to wait for them! Thanks to everyone here for being "here"----I agree with "a fellow traveler"...God IS in this room in all of you and your posts! Keep coming back--it works! :o)
Member: Grateful to be sober
Location:
Date: July 04, 2003
Time: 12:25 AM
I wasn't told not to make any big decisions in my first year, or any other time. I just listened to what other people told me about their early sobriety and they seemed to put one foot in front of the other so that's what I ended up doing, too. I think it's a big deal for an alcoholic to go through the seasons, and the holidays and first this and that and the other thing. It was a big deal to me. I think I got very lucky because in the first month or so of sobriety, a person who'd been sober a long, long time wished me a long, and very slow recovery. I started to take offense (I thought she was saying I was stupid and couldn't understand quickly) but because she had kindness shining out of every pore, I got up the courage to ask her what she meant. And then I understood that I could take the time to live my life, and be in my skin, and not be in a hurry to get to some mythical "place" that didn't exist, or some equally mythical "state" of mind. I didn't really understand all of what she said, but I got a little piece of it, and think of her words daily. I understand more now, now that some time has passed. I have met so many truly amazing people in recovery.
Member: Timm
Location: Alabama
Date: July 04, 2003
Time: 12:25 AM
Day Eight. <<Kim C. BC, Canada>> It’s a difficult struggle, but don’t give up. Many of us find this site to be helpful, so I encourage you to visit here regularly, read what others post, and post as often as you wish. Maybe it will help to curb your loneliness. Good luck, and let us know how you are doing.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: July 04, 2003
Time: 04:09 PM
(((Kim C.))) We care, many of us want to reach out to you. Can you please contact me at the email below, I would love to pass along something for you that was given to me to give to you. HOPE for ((Everyone))janbbparis@yahoo.com
Member: Kerry C
Location: Texas
Date: July 04, 2003
Time: 05:46 PM
Speaking of major decisions, Don't pick up a fifth on the fourth or you might not make it forth on the fifth... :) Heard that at a meeting the other day thought I'd pass it on and wish everyone a happy, safe, and sober holiday.
Member: Tom
Location: NY
Date: July 04, 2003
Time: 10:07 PM
Day 19. (Seems strange, I had to go back and look at one of my previous posts to see what day I was on). Big Fourth of July party with the family, friends, neighbors, you name it. I really expected the worse today, but it wasn't bad at all. Much easier than I thought. I had made a decision not to drink today and didn't. On day ZERO, the mere thought to get to this point didn't seem realistic. As they say, one day at a time. They do add up quickly. Best of luck to all.
Member: MARK M
Location: COLUMBIA
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 12:09 AM
hey to all markm here had a good 4th i went to my aftercare meeting heard alot of good stuff this is day 51 and my 1st 4th being sober MAN DOES IT FEEL GREAT I NEED TO HEAR FROM A FRIEND!!! GOD BLESS TO ALL
Member: p.a.
Location:
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 11:30 AM
I hope yesterday was my last day of drinking. Although i'v had so many before "last days" of drinking before how can i be sure?
Member: Myself
Location: Guess Where??
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 11:44 AM
Hi MarkM. This is a friend replying as I have been thinking of you. I hope all is well as you made it through the fourth without picking up a fifth, huh? That was cute that someone posted, yet very serious. I'll call you later my friend after I get back from a little family excursion I'm embarking upon. Good to see ya posting here and on the pot too. Don't let 'em scare ya, if they get too unruly just leave, but I'll be watching if they "attack," as they have an unfortunate habit of doing. Sometimes I don't know if it's the best idea for newcomers to venture in there, but other times it seems like the best thing to do. Anyway, I'll be talking to ya later my new-found friend. Peace and Blessings for you and all...........
Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 12:49 PM
This was my second 4th of July sober, last year was my first and was really hard. That night last year some of us sober girls got together to have a makeshift meeting to get us through that hard holiday. Yesterday we celebrated our one year anniversary for our little meeting born of the fourth of July that became a regular weekly and our absolute favorite meeting. We call it the "Starlight Lounge" because it is on enclosed porch and there is a star shaped lantern hanging from the ceiling. I love that porch, those girls, this program and my ever broadening relationship with my higher power.
Member: Tom
Location: NY
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 01:25 PM
p.a. Although I'm failry new to this (19 days) you can't be sure yesterday was your last day. BUT ! you can give it your best shot at today being your first not drinking. Just try for today. Don't look back at yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow. If you read back some of the posts, you'll see alot of people just in the last 2-3 weeks and this week doing the same. Some day by day, some hour by hour and often just minute by minute. Alot of people here have been really helpful in getting me to day 19. Good luck.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 03:21 PM
Hi all, I'm Chris -I'm an alcoholic/addict---I have really needed this topic today and have enjoyed the posts. I have been having a horrible time making a big decision. My sponsor tells me that I over analize . I guess that is under the heading of being stuck in my own head. I like what I heard about getting the advice of two or three others that your trust...I guess I don't really trust too many people...I do trust my sponsor...I also like what someone said about taking it slowly , one step and a time...And doing what is in fromt of you this very day and moment...I get so far ahead of myself in my head...You'd think that I hadn't been at this very long the way I am opsessing aboutthis..(I have to catch myself every second{it seems} to come back to doing what is in fromt of me..or ,better said, to live in the mmoment)...I can really identify with those who said that htey feel alone. I , too, have tried my best friends and others to talk too and everyone seems too busy. But I am going to keep at it until I find someone who can be there to support me and I them( I know that my God is my best supporter). I think my friends are not where I am with needing suporrt...most of them are not in the program and have these very busy lives...I cannot be angry at them about that( even though I AM a little hurt)...because I probalbly would be the same way if I were them...I know my Higher Power has some people for me...I will just keep trying...I also like what some one said about staying in the 1st thru 3rd steps, and that we should keep it simple..My brain is anything but simple!!!!I know that an alcoholic in his (or her) brain by himself is a dangerous thing..Next week will be better. I will stick around until the miracle happens and NOT DRINK or USE>>>>until next week///
Member: Matt R
Location: Frisco, Texas
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 05:02 PM
I sure hope that everyone had a safe and sober holiday ... "Drinking does not drown sorrows, it irrigates them !"
Member: JeffB
Location: Sunny Florida
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 05:33 PM
Hello, Jeff alcoholic here, I have a major decision this 45th day of sobriety. my wife left, and has left me with a six year old son, she says she doesn't love me "that way anymore". She drinks as well, but says she in control, justa daily social drinker, what ever that is. anyway, she wants me to wait around for a year while she works it out, and figures out who she is, and what she wants. She doesn't realize I already know the person she wants, and is hiding from me and my son. The decision is wether or not to cut my losses, and move on, or risk more heart ache for my son and I. I have gotten all kinds of opinions, and seem to get more confused as I go. My son and I had re first 4th party, alcohol free, without mom, and it was great, AA has already given me some new friends and support, just don't know what to do, thanks for letting me share
Member: mark m
Location: columbia
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 06:44 PM
hey to jeff iknow it must be hard for you to deal with this but you got to find out what is the most inportant thing in your life your son needs you now and you need life without alcohol take care of the things you need and let the rest go start a new life and leave the old one behind your better off this is just my thoughts do what you,and your higher power thinks is best
Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 06:54 PM
hey to my friend thank you for thinking of me and tring to protect me from the pot but i think i can handle anything some of those people have to say it's only words from someone i don't even know plus they don't ever leave there names spinless people somtimes they just make me stronger
Member: May B.
Location: Connecticut
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 10:34 PM
Hi,all.I'm new here. Day 2 Sober.I got drunk on the 3rd.was coming up on 7months.Well,at least Im alive and sober today.One Day at a Time!
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 11:49 PM
Hi JeffB, Sorry to hear about your wife leaving but it is good to hear that your keeping your sobriety intact. Your son really needs one stable parent now. Now is the time to find people in the program to talk to and lean on. If you have a sponsor utilize him. As for giving your wife a year to find herself it is up to you. I would get a legal seperation and custody ASAP. Then at least your finances are split and protected. With custody she will get visitation and not whenever she feels like it but on certain days and times. You need to move on because it sounds like she has. Hopefully she will visit with your son regularly. I know this must be really hard on you and your son but you are worth it. Hang tough and get to meetings as often as you can and share. Kelly
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: July 05, 2003
Time: 11:53 PM
Hi MayB, Welcome. Congrats on day 2 and you will get those 7 months back in no time. What part of Connecticut are you from? I grew up in Niantic. Keep up the good fight and don't drink no matter what... Kelly