Member: Mary O
Location: Long Island
Remote Name: 24.47.62.111
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 08:21 AM -0400

Comments

Hi! I'm Mary, an alcoholic. Funny thing about honesty- I never considered myself dishonest. I never lied, cheated, stole. I put every penny earned on my income tax return. I never took a pen from work. If I made a mistake, I admitted it. Many times my honesty put me in the doghouse. But I was never honest about my drinking. I never admitted how much I drank (12-18 beers a day). I denied blackouts (three or four times a week). I denied any DUI (drove all over the place and don't even know how I got home). Now I am honest. I am a drunk. I admit it. Now that I can be fully honest, it will help me heal. The first step is always the hardest, but "the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step".


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 08:28 AM -0400

Comments

Ralph, alcoholic, here. I like this topic because it reminds me of the need to be honest with myself and with those around me. If I drink now I'd be lying to myself in thinking I'm not an alcoholic, and if I drank and denied doing so I'd be lying to my family. No way I want to fall back into that cycle. When my honesty goes so does my serenity. Have a great 24 hours everyone! Ralph


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 09:25 AM -0400

Comments

Hi Everyone. Honesty. I found that that one word has helped me stay sober for almost 7 months. When I became honest with myself and others about my addiction, It cleared the way for me to be honest with myself. Honest about things I need to work on within myself, outside myself, and around myself. I do that on a daily basis. I find it interesting that a DUI got me to this point and the system that gave me the DUI is the most un-honest system that I have to deal with now. So my dishonesty with myself got me here and now my honest self has to deal with a dishonest system. How ironic. But sober, I can handle it. Here's to a sober 24 for everyone. And thanks for sharing. It keeps me going one day at a time!


Member: Tracy
Location: Little ole England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 09:25 AM -0400

Comments

Honesty was the my first step to recovery...once I got honest with myself that is when the recovery started...I could lie to anyone anything but could no longer lie to me...that was the crucial step for me..to be honest that alcohol had me beatern total surrender trace62.v@ntlworld.com


Member: Holly S
Location: Bloomfield Hills, MI
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 10:26 AM -0400

Comments

Hi all, Holly here, alcoholic. I guess one could say that I"m the best liar there is. I can convince myself of just about anything. I would go to AA meetings and "forget" to mention that I had slipped. I'd act as though everything was just 'fine'. I'm great at it. I swear that I'd still be drinking today, probably right now, if I'd not really come to feel this utter despair and hopelessness that made me call into work, stay home and cry all day Monday. I really couldn't get out of bed. I couldn't reach out. I didn't care. I HAVE to stay SOBER. I now understand that I WILL die. I drank and drove everywhere. It seemed that every place I had to be was a six pack away. I too could drink 12 -18 beers a day if I so desired. The frequency of my drinking was scaring me. No longer was I even enjoying it. Honesty. My sponsor told me that in order to put everything behind me I had to get completely honest, with myself and others. Honesty is very freeing...scary but freeing. I'm still working on it. Dunno why, but I lie like a rug about the most insignificant things. Maybe that's just part of my desperate need to be accepted, loved, who knows. This is my big thing in my program, my healing...to be honest. Love and peace to you all... I prayed for all of us here. God is on our side. Holly hollyannplh@aol.com


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 10:51 AM -0400

Comments

My Name is Bill, I am an alcoholic. The very first time I uttered those words; it was the first honest thing I had said about my self in a long long time. That admission set me on the Road of Happy Destiny. But there was one aspect of honesty I had yet to learn. I had to learn that there was a big difference between being rigorously honest and painfully truthful. Thank you very much. Love ya all in spite of yourselves :) Bill


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.174.173
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 08:54 PM -0400

Comments

I'm Kathleen and I'm an alcoholic. Rigourous honesty is the key for me and applying it to every aspect of my life. Yeah, I had to get honest with myself, but to be honest with others, that to me, is the tough part. I have found my voice and have dared to share things that in the past I would've buried and it would've built up into nasty resentments. It isn't always easy to share and I always try to question my motives before I speak my truth. And I guess that comes back to being honest with myself. Honestly, I don't have a clue as to what I just wrote, but just felt the need to share. I went to my women's 12 step meeting tonight and I was tense and didn't get a chance to share. I went for a walk on the beach today and tried to get centered, but didn't find that place within. Thy will not mine be done today Lord, please just show me the next right step. Prayers for those who need it out there. love, kat


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.174.173
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 08:58 PM -0400

Comments

AZ Bill - would love to hear more about your comment on the difference between rigourous honesty and painfully truthful... sounds like what I was trying to feel my way through in my post, but got all mixed up in it. I think that's what I was trying to say when I talked about examining my motives... Deep stuff worth thinking about... but would love to hear more from you on it. Thanks, Kat


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 11:38 PM -0400

Comments

HI Kat from Boston. Basically Painfully truthful is saying something "true" that hurts another and is not in the spirit of recovery as in "How do you like my new dress?" "I think it sucks" That is basically it..Feel free to email me if you wish In the spirit of the Fellowship, Bill


Member: ryandean
Location: denver
Remote Name: 172.203.58.183
Date: April 25, 2004
Time: 11:41 PM -0400

Comments

HONESTY: No one can get clean and sober without it. Unfortunately, honesty is much too rare in AA. In our area, almost everyone in AA has died of his or her addiction - primarily their addiction to tobacco. They "fooled" themselves into thinking that it was okay to smoke so long as one quits drinking. They falsely relied upon the ludicrous advice on pg. 135 of the big book and it led to their untimely death, just as it did for Bill Wilson, Dr. Bob, and millions of AA's before them. It is past time that ACTUAL HONESTY be incorporated into the AA program before more of our fine members die from tobacco and other drug addictions. If you are new to AA, QUIT ALL ADDICTIONS - alcohol, tobacco, pills - the minute you walk in the door. If someone tells you something different, RUN, don't walk, away from that person before it's too late. God Bless you, newcomers.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.197
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 12:12 AM -0400

Comments

Honesty comes slowly after years of disquising the truth through self rationalization and self justification. I knew I had a problem with alcohol for years. Used to think my excessive tolerance for consuming alcohol was a blessing... learned much later it was indeed a curse as the consequences of my drinking caught up with me. It wasn't until I started unraveling the threads of self-dilusion through working steps 1,4,5,6,7,8,9,10 that I found the key. Armed with the facts that this disease called alcoholism affects the body, mind and soul (as described in the Big book) I was able to begin the process of recovery. Knowing I couldn't drink normaly anymore because of the fact that my body processes alchol differently than normal people, I was left with only one option. I had to find a way of dealing with life's frustrations, my restlessness, my irritability and general discontented feelings for myself and others. My incessant need to continually gratify myself and control others had to stop. Once I was able to honstly look at myself (4rth step) and see that my self-centeredness was driven by my fears (fear of not getting what I wanted, fear of losing what I had, and fear of people knowing who I really was) I could finally get better and learn to live sober. Praticing honesty is a life long process. We can quickly fall back into self dilusion if we don't keep spiritually fit and examine ourselves and our true intentions daily. Best wishes to all Humiliation gets us here, honesty keeps us here. It's through honestyHumilty


Member: chuckm
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 209.197.147.185
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 03:34 AM -0400

Comments

I,m Chuck, an alcoholic.My honesty is a function of how close I am to God. Before AA I had no God so my honesty depended on which way the wind was blowing. Peace and Serenity.


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 03:43 AM -0400

Comments

ryandean, What a load of (possibly dangerous) shit. Alcohol alone is hard enough to quit without you advising newcommers to quit EVERYTHING at once. IMHO as well as taking sobriety One Day At Time, people with other addictions should also try quitting ONE at a time. There are people in my home group who have quit drink and drugs at the same time but they still smoke tobacco. GOOD LUCK to them. If they need this crutch, so be it. If they can quit once they are sober and not using, then good for them. In AA we all have freinds who have quit drink but have other vices (mines chocolate and ice-cream now) but the main thing is our sobriety.


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 05:18 AM -0400

Comments

ryandean, I posted earlier, but it got lost in cyberspace. You are talking like a total arse and I would advise any body new here to totally ignore you. Gaining sobriety alone can be tough. Quitting drugs as well doubly so. i know people that HAVE quit both at the same time but they rely on tobacco to help them through. Surely sobriety is our main aim. If people that use drugs or smoke tobacco can kick them later then all the better. From the AA preamble "The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking"!!! NUFF SAID.


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 05:18 AM -0400

Comments

Whoops! The lost post suddenly appeared


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 205.188.116.195
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 09:23 AM -0400

Comments

Hi, Kelly an alcoholic here. I am working on honesty every day but it is tough because of my perceived notions of honesty. I think I am so honest when it is not true... Let me 'honestly' tell you I'm (not) honest in my thoughts, words and deeds all the time. I delude myself. I did it for years by ignoring my alcoholism. I do it by saying one thing and thinking another, acting good, portraying a person I was not. Basicly living a lie. Katt nailed it when she said she checks her own (motives). I never did that until I came into AA. Now I can see or catch myself lying. What was my (motive) for lying? That is the hard part because it can be the most trivial thing I lie about. When I started trying to figure out why I lie it came down to three things for me,,, power, prestige, and sex. It was to 'appear' what I WAS NOT. My latest uncovered lie to myself is that I am a big flirt. I always rationalized that I never did it but I did it in my "thoughts, words and deeds". Did it get me in trouble? You bet! Why did I do it and what were my motives? To make myself feel powerful and get attention, albeit sexual. Did I deny it...You bet, not me it was the all the guys fault!!! How do I stop doing it? By honestly admitting it to God, myself and another person. It's not easy getting honest with myself after years of blaming all my problems on other people, places and things but so worth it. I could not be part of the solution as long as I denied I was part of the problem. Thanks for letting me share! Kelly :)


Member: Holly
Location: Bloomfield Hills, MI
Remote Name: 38.225.248.2
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 10:22 AM -0400

Comments

Wow, Kelly, you hit it right on the head of the nail for me...I was just posting earlier about not having any clue why I'd lie about the most trivial of stupid things, but you were right...to get the attention. Crap, clarity at it's best. I love you my sister for helping me to have a "WOW" moment. You know, I can be the smartest of persons and at the same time the dumbest. I delude myself daily into believing things are okay when they're not...notwithstanding the stuff that I'd say to the opposite sex to gain attention, to flirt. I could probably make you laugh out loud with some of the stuff I've said in the past...expecially add a little alcohol and wow, I probably actually believe the crap that I'd said. Amazing. Problem is, I've now gotten so accustomed to my delusional way of thinking/lying it's almost hard to break. Like a bad habit, like drinking...it's almost feels like a new addiction... Thank you again. Everyone is in my prayers. God is all merciful and forgiving and He does have the power to heal our hurts, we just need to take the "steps". Love, Holly hollyannplh@aol.com


Member: Katnash
Location: Floral City, Florida
Remote Name: 209.165.24.153
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 10:39 AM -0400

Comments

Good morning all, Kathleen here alcoholic. Ditto to what Bob said. Newcomers...please please do NOT stop everything at once. If you wish to do this seek professional help as stopping some medications abruptly can be fatal. Withdrawing from alcohol can be fatal too. I had seizures from withdrawl I was so saturated. I'm grateful I was in detox at the time so there was professional help available. Honesty. I had no clue about self honesty when I got here. I learned though that simple things, such as over volunteering myself when I really didn't want to do the volunteer stuff is a form of dishonesty. Saying yes when I meant no is being dishonest with myself. I like to check my motives for why I do whatever I do. That helps to keep me honest too. Thanks for being here. Kathleen


Member: Caryl R
Location: Englewood,FL
Remote Name: 68.56.193.82
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 11:46 AM -0400

Comments

Hi, My name is Caryl and I'm an alcoholic.That is probably the first honest thing I've said in years. I am 5 days sober by the grace of God. I have lied, and cheated for 25 years and it's time to stop. If I cannot be honest with myself and my disease I know in my heart that i will stay sober Thanks for listening


Member: rachael
Location: rehoboth
Remote Name: 69.138.72.31
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 03:34 PM -0400

Comments

HONESTY HMMM WHAT AFUNNY FEELING OF CONVINCING OURSELVES THAT WE ARE SUCH HONEST PEOPLE!I'TS BEEN 2 YEARS SINCE I VE BEEN CLEAN I STOPPED COUNTING AND MADE AN HONEST CHOICE! WHICH IF YOU REALLY THINK ABOUT IT THERE ARE ONLY 2 CHOICES EITHER YOUR GONNA QUIT OR YOUR NOT THAT'S PRETTY MUCH HOW I SUMMED IT UP FOR MYSELF!


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 65.102.61.160
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 03:45 PM -0400

Comments

Before I came to AA I didn't know how to be honest. The real things in my life never seemed big enough or important enough, so I always had to add a spin to everything. I also told some real whoppers with no basis in truth whatever. I lied to you and myself about the extent of my drinking. I thought I was alone in the kind of things I had done and thought. In coming to meetings I kept hearing the emphasis on honesty. I decided to try honesty with my first sponsor. I made the commitment to myself that I would never lie to him. That proved to be a tall order. It was easy with the big lying, but not so easy with all the little spin lies. Thanks to the 12 steps, I have no more secrets. There is nothing about me that someone else doesn’t know. Thanks to the 12 steps, I am reminded of the Peace of mind I sacrifice if I choose to be deceptive.


Member: Babette
Location: Jerusalem
Remote Name: 82.166.155.189
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 04:15 PM -0400

Comments

I said this earlier on the CP but I'm going to say it again here. I was in rehab in December. I had 66 days clean and sober and I relapsed with alcohol. I had a lot of excuses but no real REASON> Then, a few weeks ago I abused a painkiller that I used to use. It was a one day thing. I know and fear that if I don't talk about it I'll end up in a major relapse so I had to say it here. I was avoiding telling how much time I had and I'd refer to my last relapse without any time reference. So, actually I have 3 weeks clean and sober. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Amber
Location: Wendell, Idaho
Remote Name: 204.134.231.26
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 04:26 PM -0400

Comments

Honesty..... I think that the biggest thing about honesty is being honest with yourself and making that step towards admitting that you have a problem and that you need to reach out to other people who have been in that situation. Right now I am on day 5 and have done as many meetings as days. I am a person who drinks for the social aspect. i get lonely and i go to the bar and then I am there all night. i can't go in for a beer it will become one entire weekend. I just moved back to my hometown and it has been really hard. i got here and talked myself into being what everyone else is... not me. I know that I can't drink but i went ahead and at least I am back in the meetings and am reading what everyone else has to say and I know that even contact through here is helping my recovery. I think that I got a little off track here.


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.174.173
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 05:33 PM -0400

Comments

There have been many brave individuals here who have gone past just talking "about" honesty and have been real honest in their shares. Well, here goes nothin'... If I'm going to be really honest, I am still stuck in the "bondage of self" - there I said it!! Last night at my women's 12 step meeting, I got really impatient at other women's shares. Not because I didn't care, or think they were worthwhile, but because there were so many women in the group and when one or more people goes on and on, it means that less will have the opportunity to share. I'm sorry but it just bugs the crap out of me. Especially when someone is just re-reading the step and they saying "oh I really like this line". It's like they are just commenting to hear themselves talk. And I know that is why we all need to go to discussion meetings so that we can hear ourselves and get stuff off of our minds and hearts, but I get so annoyed when someone isn't mindful of how long they go off on their tangents. However, that being said, occasionally I find myself thanking God that a particular person got to share that night because they probably would've drank if they didn't. It's not always just because I want to share, but it's just that I get annoyed and impatient with people that hog and ramble. So here I will offer it up to God and pray for all of us who are suffering. Amen... love, Kat


Member: KellyM
Location: WA
Remote Name: 66.10.15.76
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 05:36 PM -0400

Comments

honesty is probably one of the hardest things to do throughout the process of getting sober because you have to start with being honest with yourself and most people don't know how to do that. it's been tough for me to admit certain things to myself but over time i'm seeing how much it does help to be honest with you first and the others important to you.


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.91.174.173
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 05:38 PM -0400

Comments

And now I have to add "flirting" to my list and be honest about that?? Cripes! I love to flirt and my husband thinks its the funniest part about me. I honestly think that it is innocent... but powerful... probably... hmmm more food for thought... crap. What's that saying "progress not perfection" - thank God for that! love, Kat


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.7.158
Date: April 26, 2004
Time: 08:43 PM -0400

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, my name is Ed. Lots of good stuff here. What I agree with most that others of you have written, is that the hardest part is being honest with yourself. I, for instance, had little difficulty introducing myself as Ed, an alcoholic at AA meetings -- that afterall was what everybody did. But I was never sure I really believed it. So eventually I had to find out for certain. I did. Now the question is whether as memory fades will my old form of self-deception return? It's not like the evidence wasn't there all along, I just chose a very narrow version of the definition of alcoholic. Continued honesty will be a test. Thank you all for your honesty. Ed


Member: ryandean
Location: denver
Remote Name: 172.209.190.97
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 12:08 AM -0400

Comments

Bob W, our British friend, you have provided a great observation - "The people in my home group still smoke . . . if they need this CRUTCH, so be it." That sounds just like that self-serving junk Bill Wilson put on page 135 of the big book. And look what happened to him; he died of drug addiction. What's next? "If they need the crutch of heroin to quit drinking, let them shoot up every hour?" "If they need the crutch of PCP, then let them smoke some dust every time they can't face life on life's terms?" I hope by now you see how ignorant any statement is that a person in AA should turn to a CRUTCH to help them throuh the day. WHAT DOES IT PROFIT A PERSON TO QUIT DRINKING AND THEN TO DIE FROM ANOTHER DRUG ADDICTION - be it tobacco or any other drug? Answer: NOTHING. You still die from a drug addiction. If you quit drinking but continue smoking or any other drug addiction, you have accomplished absolutely nothing. Finally, you make me laugh with your comparison of tobacco addiction to chocolate and ice cream. That sounds like the rationalization of a real drug addict. "So what if I snort cocaine every 20 minutes; other people like potato chips." Give me a break. That sounds like that idiotic advice from Bill Wilson on page 135 of the big book - "Let me do my drugs, Lois, or I'll start drinking again." Have you ever heard the phrase "JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS" my friend? A person is either clean and sober or a person is not. There is no in between. If you're still smoking, put some honesty in your life and trying living a day without drugs. Good luck to you.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 02:13 AM -0400

Comments

Hey ((Katt)), You are a riot! Love your sense of humor! Don't stop flirting on my account hon! I was at a womans meeting where a lot of anger at men comes out for me. One lady explained that until she checked her motives she did not even realize the harm her flirting caused her all her life. For her flirting was "flirting with disaster" in a harmful way. She would push men to want her and if they touched her she screamed sexual harrassment. She set the whole ball rolling and did not even realize she was doing it! It was like a big gong went off in my head as I understood I ALSO did it. Not to that extent but I realized I lied to myself and blamed men for reacting exactly as I set them up to. I thanked her for her honesty because man it opened my eyes! It's really easy for me to blame men for all my problems but today I have to say what was my part in it? What was I getting out of it and was it dishonest and self-seeking? HELL YEAH!!! Since my revelation....(thanks God)... and sharing it as I do everything important with my sponsor it just stopped. It seemed to free me of it like AA freed me of my obsession to drink. I think I'm on to something good! See you all next week...:)


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 06:27 AM -0400

Comments

Hi guys, Ann here, alcoholic. And here's a question for someone who might be able to share. As a non smoker, I do consider smoking a drug. I asked my mom...who quit smoking in the 1950's why there wasn't a 12 step program for smokers. I mean we have all heard how hard it is to quit smoking, and cigarettes like alcohol are sold in just about every store. Why is it that alcoholics usually need the 12 step program to quit and stay off their drug of choice and smokers once they quit seem to be able to stay clean without the 12 step program? I just have wondered. Thank you all for sharing and here's to another 24 hrs sober for all.


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 07:11 AM -0400

Comments

I'm Ralph, a grateful alcoholic. Good question, Ann, especially since I intend to apply the program to my own smoking cessation. Seems to me that the moral dimension of our drinking lives requires more self-scrutiny and caution than our smoking habit. Horrible as tobacco addiction is, for this alcoholic it was drinking that caused unspeakable harm and shame to self, family, and coworkers; and there's so much to try to set right and so much potential damage out there waiting for me that I have to guard against. As much as I pray to be able to stop smoking, it never affected my judgment and character the way booze did. So maybe that's why a parallel 12-step program didn't emerge when AA was formed. Greetings and blessings to all! Ralph, alcoholic (day 17!)


Member: Mike A
Location: East TX
Remote Name: 4.226.252.55
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 07:15 AM -0400

Comments

Honesty - when I first began my journey into AA 11 years ago, I had no idea what honesty truly was. I failed to be honest with myself. I did 90 in 90 ... or almost. Finally, I figured out that I could not be the designated driver ... I could not have just one drink, etc., etc, all the lies we tell ourselves. This above all - to thine own self be true. It has to start there. Today, I am grateful for 8 years of continuous sobriety, after learning to become honest with myself. One final comment - I think Ryan is right, to an extent. When I entered the rooms of AA years ago, my friends and I determined to be CLEAN and sober. I know the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking, but I also realize that alcohol is only a symptom of our disease. While I don't place cigarettes in the same class (although I have quit smoking - 4 years now), my point is this: what do we gain by getting off of the booze if our mind is still clouded with drug use? I don't believe you can truly work the 12 steps in this program while continueing to muddy the waters. Welcome newcomers ... keep coming back.


Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 08:31 AM -0400

Comments

Great topic, honesty. Honesty is something that seems to keep me in this circle of insanity drinking them quitting then drinking then quitting. Its lying to yourself and convincing yourself that you can have one drink and things will be okay, you have learned now and feel strong that you will not over drink again, you think that you can fix this thing, train yourself to just drink a few, all of those little lies you tell yourself. Being honest is the only thing that will keep you sober. No matter what, I know that that glass sitting across me staring at me, reminding me of the fun times, is nothing but my nightmare. It is a coin toss wether or not I will have one glass or three bottles, its is a coin toss that is seeming to always land on the loosing side now. I haven't been able to have one drink in a long time. I haven't been able to just sit back and hang out at a bar with friends in a long time, without craving more and more. I think that I spend more time batteling with myself inside to not wanting a shot or three thousand beers more than I have fun. It all so pointless and its slowly taking more and more years off my life. I have finally given it up, and honesty is the one big reason next to acceptance that is allowing me to do that.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 65.102.61.160
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 09:30 AM -0400

Comments

Lisa M, I’ve looked forward to your shares each week. You and the others who struggle are the lifeblood of our program. We need you more than those “friends” at the bars; more than you can know right now. Have you made it to a face meeting yet? You will find honest real friendships there. Please keep coming back and keeping us updated.


Member: Andrew M
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.236
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 11:22 AM -0400

Comments

Hi everyone, David, alcoholic here. Not long sober. I was quite honest with myself, I knew what I was/am. It was everyone else I was dishonest with, like some some others of us I even lie for no reason. I think it's because lying my way through life as I have I don't even think about it, I do it automatically. I still do it. Go figure! Smoking, my opinion. Smoking will kill you. Alcohol will kill you before you die.


Member: Jim D
Location: Fl
Remote Name: 24.28.47.151
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 12:17 PM -0400

Comments

Ryandean, You'r big book must be different tan mine, because I can't find on pg 138 the statement "let me do my drugs Lois or I'll drink again". In How it Works the word honest or honesty is written three times, this kind of gives you a hint as to how important it is to get honest with yourself. Jim


Member: Jim D
Location: Fl
Remote Name: 24.28.47.151
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 12:18 PM -0400

Comments

That should be three times in the first paragraph. Jim


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 12:22 PM -0400

Comments

David, Canada... Thanks! <<Smoking will kill you. Alcohol will kill you before you die.>> That's a keeper!


Member: Jim B
Location: Seattle
Remote Name: 172.144.191.158
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 06:43 PM -0400

Comments

Ann, your question about why the 12 steps don't work for smokers is right on point. The 12 steps "should" work for ALL drug addictions. Thus, when a person finished the steps, s/he would be free of ALL drug addiction - be it alcohol alone or alcohol in combination with another drug addiction - cocaine, nicotine, opiates, etc. But, as we all know, that is not the case in AA. People do the steps and, although they may stop drinking, they continue to rely upon tobacco, pills, etc. to get through the day. Others who have examined this question (doctors, scientists, etc.) have determined that the 12 steps DO NOT work. Otherwise, a person completing the steps would be free of all drug addictions. It takes MUCH, MUCH more than the steps to free oneself from the power of a drug addiction. AA could benefit from incorporating a true solution to addiction to the AA program. Thank you for your great insight.


Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Remote Name: 209.244.4.106
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 07:17 PM -0400

Comments

When I was drinking I would frequently say I was going to do things and then I would not get around to doing them. Often I would keep promises to others and break the ones I had made to myself. Today I find that I am more trustworthy. If I say I will do something, I follow through most of the time (still not perfect). I also admit up front if I am not going to do something, even when that is not what the other person wants to hear. Today you can count on me, back in the drinking days it was hit or miss. That is what I have received from this program with regard to honesty. I also hope that folks honestly post here with the intent to help others. The 12th step is important. Would you rather be "right" or help someone get sober? Peace.


Member: Lea B
Location: North Carolina
Remote Name: 24.148.148.30
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 09:21 PM -0400

Comments

Hello, This is the first day for me. And I mean the first 24 hours (almost). Honesty, I guess is the best topic I could've came in on. My last shot was last night at 10:30. I've read every one of your comments, I sincerely need your prayers. Kind of scared...


Member: Bobbi C
Location: Baltimore
Remote Name: 172.172.85.160
Date: April 27, 2004
Time: 11:19 PM -0400

Comments

Lea, God Bless you my dear friend. You have been blessed by the fact that you have recognized that you have a problem and are taking action to be healed. Our Heavenly Father and His precious Son Jesus Christ will heal you. Place your whole faith there and you will be completely healed. It takes a little time and may be somewhat uncomfortable at first, but God's hand is upon you. From a practical standpoint, physical withdrawal from alcohol is complete in a week or less. So, stay strong, my friend. From a mental standpoint, the craving for alcohol stays with some people for quite a while. Here is where your faith in God will give you the strength to overcome any temptation. Stay with us, dear friend. I will continue to pray for you. May the peace and love of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ be with you always.


Member: FC
Location: CA
Remote Name: 12.72.71.139
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 02:19 AM -0400

Comments

Thanks Ralph K Could'nt have said it better. Needed to hear that! One step at a time. Have tried numourous times to just give everything up all at once. Caffeine, tobacco, and alcohol was my ticket to anything in life. Take an equation away and I'm messed up. Tried to take all at once, it nearly killed me. Lasted two weeks and then the festival begain for two more years. worst than ever. This is a progressive disease! Too much of anything will cause you harm, if you take things into moderation, its dueable. Honesty has taken me many years, Its not that I woke up one night and had a vision. Its thru experience of doing the same thing over and over and getting no results. Why do we have to have to hit the bottom or close to it for us to understand??? Why, cause we are alcoholics, But their is hope and a resolution its called the AA program. It saved my life, maybe it will save yours. Taking Action with yourself may save your life. It did for me. Bless you all, and Keep coming back!!!


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 07:02 AM -0400

Comments

Good morning everyone, Ralph, alcoholic, here, starting Day 18 with more hope and serenity than I've experienced in a long time. Lea in NC: welcome. As a Jew I know that God saves us from this living death in an infinite number of ways; the key ingredient is sensing a higher power in your life and turning your addiction over to that HP. I share the joy in recovery of my Christian fellow AA's, but I just wanted to assure you that the program works just as many miracles in the lives of non-Evangelicals. Love and sobriety to all! RK


Member: Mike J.
Location: Pennsylvania
Remote Name: 205.188.116.197
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 08:09 AM -0400

Comments

Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover. The others must be convinced of his new status beyond the shadow of a doubt. Seeing is believing to most families who have lived with a drinker. Here is a case in point: One of our friends is a heavy smoker and coffee drinker. There was no doubt he over- indulged. Seeing this, and meaning to be helpful, his wife commenced to admonish him about it. He admitted he was overdosing these things, but frankly said that he was not ready to stop. His wife is one of those persons who really feels there is something rather sinful about these commodities, so she nagged, and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk. Of course our friend was wrong -- dead wrong. He had to painfully admit that and mend his spiritual fences. Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment. She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. We have three little mottoes which are apropos. Here they are: First Things First Live and Let Live Easy Does It From page 135 3rd edition of the book Acoholics Anonymous With AA love and Respect Mike


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 09:48 AM -0400

Comments

Adam, alcoholic. Good topic...my sponsor assured me when I did my fourth and fifth step that if I was willing to tell the truth quietly and stand by that truth in all my affairs, then I would no longer have to deal with the feeling of unworthiness that comes with being a liar. It's the hardest work I have had to do in sobriety, but certainly the most important and the most rewarding spiritually. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 10:41 AM -0400

Comments

Starting Day 3 on my sobreity. Wanted to send a congrats to ((RalphK)) for 18 days!! On my last binge I spent part of my rent money and miraculously they did't NSF the check, they just overdrew my account. I have been wondering if God wanted my to stay in the apartment or not. I know that sounds wierd, but I am sort of moving through the days as I should, doing what I am supposed to do and letting God take care of the rest. I am not going to worry or stress about anything except my sobriety. So if something drastic happens, I am just going to assume that its all a part of this journey that I am on. I guess I have been on a self pitty trip for so long that I am just tired of it, all of it. I am glad to have everyone here. I think that this site helps differently than a face to face group because it makes you speak. You don't just listen you get your words out here. I like reading all the posts, I think that each one gives me more and more insight. I have learned so much from all of you. My prayers are with us all as we make it through another day sober.


Member: Holly
Location: Bloomfield Hills, MI
Remote Name: 38.225.248.2
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 12:03 PM -0400

Comments

Wow, Rich P...you and I are two birds of a feather...I'd have the best of intentions to help everyone, visit everyone, make plans to see everyone...when drinking, that is...then somehow I'd never get around to it. Made some of my dearest friends kinda shelve me for a while. I'm 10 days sober and well, I'm not making any committments right now. I can't. Better to be safe than sorry as I'm still caught in the forest of my mind and let me tell you...I feel like I"m going insane. Honestly. I've been taking this medication for 9 days now, I've not drank, but I only want to crawl into bed and not have to deal with life on life's terms. I've still not filed my taxes, I don't want to face my financial situation head one...I just want to bury my head in the sand and somehow let someone else take over. I really need an autopilot now in my life. This is what I never got right...I guess I can't handle life. Call me the most immature person you know, but I feel like a big baby. Budget? Pay Bills? what's that? I want to be taken care of...but I"m realizing at what cost I do. I'm babbling on, but I feel like I'm going insane. I really, really do. When I binge 10 days ago, I was ready to check myself into a hospital..I still feel like I want to. I just want to sleep this off until it is all better. Sound like the most immature thing you've ever heard of? Well, I'm off to a f2f meeting right now for lunch...I"m late, so pray that I actually get there (I have this habit of not going when I'm late)... Peace and love, Holly


Member: stuart
Location: london UK
Remote Name: 217.35.96.78
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 12:23 PM -0400

Comments

Getting honest means just that...getting honest. Being honest with myself that alcohol was a problem in my life, then finding a sponsor to take me throught the programme and learn the FACTS about my problem ALCOHOLISM - and the FACTS of the solution...the 12 steps God Bless


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 12:53 PM -0400

Comments

hi everyone roze here alcoholic,the first time i said those words aloud in a meeting,i finally started my recovery.i'm now going on 11 months sober.i honestly have to say some of the personalities drive me CRAZY!!! but it is principles before personalities,& i'm no peach either!! i have said yes to commitments when i ment no,but now that i am working on rigorous honesty i will say no. i mean i've been making coffee and chairing at 3 meetings a week & i don't even have a car.i make myself crazy calling people & asking them 2 pick me up 1 hour early for meetings.i think i was just trying to prove to everyone that i really wanted soberity.i will keep working my program & stop trying to please all of the people all of the time. happy 24 to all. love roze


Member: tommieL
Location: Okeechobee, FL
Remote Name: 64.118.240.145
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 02:43 PM -0400

Comments

HONESTY: it is my first time sharing online and I chose this forum. I am not new to sobriety, but just new on this site. I base my honesty on the insanity that I had in my life as many others do through there posting. I would lie through my own teeth and sware on my mother's grave (even though she has not passed on) as long as I got what I wanted. Today I try not to lie, I don't sware as I respect myself and others more. Just the word "honesty" makes me think of all the steps. To the best of my ability and my HP, I try to live an honest program that will be in my life forever. Today if there is nothing good to say to my fellow human beings that I bite my tongue. This way I don't get in trouble and my sanity is in tack. tommieL


Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:08 PM -0400

Comments

getting honest with yourself, pg58 reag pg58,59 and 3/4's of 60 that tells you that honesty is a must in this program how it works, life the steps, work on than everyday #10( Continued) god bless and stay sober


Member: Babette
Location: Jerusalem
Remote Name: 82.166.245.163
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:35 PM -0400

Comments

Welcome ((Lea B)))> You only have to do this once! Can you get to a F2F meeting? Can you eat? Try sweet things as alcohol has a lot of sugar in it. Some people suggest coffee, but if youre jittery it'll only make it worse. I know my moods were up and down the first days, try calling people or post on here to help ride them out. As for spirituality, that will come to you in your own way. Most of us find a Higher Power eventually. If you believe in God praying to him/her now would definetly help. If you want to talk to someone you can e-mail me at:babsrah @yahoo.com. I've been where you are many times and know it can be done. Hang in there. Love, Babette


Member: The Mav
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 192.235.24.76
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:37 PM -0400

Comments

Want some real honesty? How about I'm just checking this page out to see if the post limitations and restrictions are limited to the coffepot, or if they apply here as well. Plus seeing if they apply here as to the # of posting rule also... Yeah, that's right, the suggestions at the top are anything but, they are RULES, which is fine. It just goes to show how the deception at every level in AA begins with an early and very subtle indoctrination into their brainwashing techniques. So subtle are they, that they will honestly tell you I'm the one who's crazy, when their obvious insanity is being perpetrated before our very eyes. Sadly many buy into the fallacy of what this isn't about. You HONESTLY do NOT need this site to get sober, and it in fact can be more of hinderance if you aren't aware of the evils that encompass it's very existence. Yup, that's right, I've been sober a good, long time and I'm telling the Honest to goodness Truth, this site censors what is said and you can't say anything other than what they want you to. It's sad, but true... Honestly, that's the way of the entire fellowship, not just this site either. So, enter the realm of the spiritual warfare if you want, but just know what you're in store for as their are far more very sick people in it than there are healthy ones, rest assured...


Member: The Mav
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 192.235.24.76
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:38 PM -0400

Comments

testing 123


Member: The Mav
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 192.235.24.76
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:39 PM -0400

Comments

didn't go through, or it's being monitored, or do the techs need to readjust this portion of the site sepeartely? Let s see/


Member: The Mav
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 192.235.24.76
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:48 PM -0400

Comments

Guess so... Just for anyone here to see, this is exactly what I'm talking about... They'll be coming to get you, don't worry... Just because your paranoid doesn't mean everybody's not out to get ya, now then does it? This place is not for the faint hearted and if your new, you need to ignore what is said here and go seek real life help, and I don't mean AA, maybe AAA if your car is broken down, but not AA if your life is a mess. Try a local rehab and take it from there. If they guide you to AA meetings that's fine, but AA itself ruins alot of lives as well as helping some, so it too is shot in the dark... Make your own choices and don't succumb to the silliness of the tribal mentality of the UNthinking ones that pervade this site, you will be doing your very self a huge disservice... That I say in all honesty and sincerity... They've attacked me over and over and over and I'm now taking it to the streets and the people, if you will. They'll try to tell you can't even speak until you've 90 days sober in many places, and here they'll tell you many, many lies in order to get you to conform, but you DON'T have to! I shall be a regular here at the newcomer sight from now to set things straight and give you HONESTY, not the lies they shall force-feed you... Take Care all and see ya's soon enough as I'll be watching and posting appropriately...


Member: The Mav
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 192.235.24.76
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 04:57 PM -0400

Comments

Yeah, I think I shall invite my friend Slippery over for a share on the topic too... There are a few sane people around here, but you really have to look for us amidst the chaos of insidious parroting of nothing more than the same old thing over and over. Yeah, that's the real deal and true honesty... Just sit back and open your eyes and see what they now attempt to say in response to someone whom has their own mind and thinks far outside their very limited little box they want to suck all of the unsuspecting and vulnerable newcomers into... Just watch, watch real close...


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.116.72
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 05:47 PM -0400

Comments

Hey, anyone else feel like they are in a Stephen King novel? Hey Mav, do you have any idea what 192.235.24.76 is? You will.. here's to another sober 24 for all of us.. and we thought we left 'em in the bar! :)


Member: Neal
Location: New Mexico
Remote Name: 65.179.128.27
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 07:59 PM -0400

Comments

Neal here, Alcoholic, Honesty, I just relized I dont know the first thing about it. I have spent so much of my life hiding who I really am that I have lost the ability to seperate the truth from reality. The worst of it is that I continue to lie to myself. I continue to delude myself into believing that I can learn to drink responsibly, that I can learn to drink socially.... It is a crock. I cant drink period!!!! Right now is the time I usually down a bottle of wine after a few doubles of gin and tonic. I am so grateful to have found this site. Here as least I can go anytime I feel the urge come on. It is so strong these days that I think I may not make it. My thinking is so diseased that I can convince myself it is easier and better to drink that to continue to fight it. I keep asking my higher power to take this compulsion to drink away from me. I want what so many of you have found. Well I am not going to drink today, and all I can do is take it one day at a time. Thanks to all for sharing and letting me ramble on...


Member: Lea B
Location: North Carolina
Remote Name: 24.148.148.30
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 08:33 PM -0400

Comments

Hello, I came to say thank you for having me in your thoughts and prayers. I am not doing real well at the moment, (almost 48 hours) am alone for awhile, and have a very strong urge. So, I just came here to read some things to keep me away from our bar. I'm very confused at the moment, don't mean to be a crybaby, but I'm trying REAL HARD right now to FIGHT an urge, and after reading what I just have, I don't understand....


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 205.188.116.195
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 09:58 PM -0400

Comments

Lea, try praying it helps me. or call someone.you can make it,i know for the first time in my life after 30yrs. of using & drinking i found aa & i am now clean & sober almost 10 months. love,roze


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 4.158.186.99
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 10:10 PM -0400

Comments

My name is Joe, and I am anlcoholic. Lea, think it all the way through. What really happens to you when you drink? What is the truth about your drinking? Can you stop after one or two? Is everything better the morning after? Call another AA member, or email somebody. Maybe read the BB online, http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/ or http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~clyde/BillW/BB_Introduction.html Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 10:46 PM -0400

Comments

Hi everyone, Ralph, alcoholic here, still sober and grateful but facing a big challenge tomorrow: a disciplinary meeting in my workplace concerning some of what I did last fall while drinking. Trying to stay in the moment, and actually glad to be able to take some responsibility for my actions, but anxious nonetheless about the process and possible outcomes. Lea, please connect with some flesh+blood AA's where you are; nothing beats a meeting. I've just gone to two back-to-back ones, and the support is invaluable. It DOES get better! You don't need to be hungover to call AA for a 12th-step call; someone can take you to a meeting, introduce you to the program and some other people, you'll start to meet people and get numbers. It makes all the difference. Will let you know how things go tomorrow. Best to all! Ralph


Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 205.188.116.195
Date: April 28, 2004
Time: 11:12 PM -0400

Comments

hello to all, mark m here,alcoholic MAV please to me and others in our early soberity a favor and stay on the pot while i know you have lots of time in the program and many opinions (some good some bad) i only have about 1yr(may 13th) and anything negitive right now just brings me down don't rain on my parade just stay on the pot after you read this please don't start posting 10 billon times just cuz you can ok love all and god bless


Member: Joni N.
Location: Pollock Pines, CA
Remote Name: 158.222.227.165
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 02:58 AM -0400

Comments

Hi, ((everyone))! Thank you for helping me to stay sober...one day at a time. ((Lea B)) and everyone new to the program...Welcome!! Your life will never be the same from now on. Your courageous decision to stop drinking is the best decision you have ever made. You have looked at yourself honestly and have seen what the problem is. I found out that I could not solve my problem (alcoholism) until I was honest about it. I couldn't deal with it until I knew I had it! What a concept!! In early sobriety, I learned that eating something with sugar in it helped with alcohol cravings because alcohol is full of sugar and my body was craving that. (Just as Roz said...thank you, ((Roz)) for sharing that with Lea.) Drinking lots of water helped, too. But the single most important act I did to help myself was to talk/listen to another alcoholic!! If it's late at night and there's no meeting, call AA's phone service and tell them you just need to talk to someone. They'll be glad to help you. And, please, just keep coming back here and to face to face meetings. We need each other. Hugs, Joni Peace and Love p.s. ((Ralph)) I liked what you had to say about a Higher Power. The program says God, as you understand Him, not as others understand him.


Member: Mike J.
Location: Pennsylvania
Remote Name: 64.12.116.20
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 06:07 AM -0400

Comments

Hi I'm Mike and I'm a Alcoholic, When I started coming to AA 20 years ago It was suggested that the most important thing I could do was not drink and go to meetings.That worked for me and a lot of other people who came before me and many who came after.After 5 years of going to meetings daily i left meetings and didn't return for 16 years,but I didn't drink during that 16 year abscence from meetings and didn't forget the lessons learned in those very critical first 5 years.Go to meetings and don't drink in between meetings was sound advice for me, and I will always be grateful to everyone who helped me change my life from hopeless and unmanagable to hopeful and do-able. In AA love and respect Mike


Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 06:41 AM -0400

Comments

Good morning everyone.Slippery S. here.I have been without a drink for a little over 15 years,I thought I was truly sober just because I have not drank.I am beginning to realize that even though I dont drink anymore that I am still suffering from the ISM of alcoholism of this disease.Someone said that our drinking is but a symptom of our disease.I for one am beginning to see exactly what that means.I have been living without alcohol for 15 years,but unfortunately I have also been living without the program.Yes,I have been a DRYDRUNK,not proud of it,but it is the truth.I have never allowed myself to successfully work the steps in order to be free from self.I always thought there was a softer way and yes I thought I had done the program and succeeded,but I was wrong,what I have is absolutely nothing to show for faking it for over 15 years now.So I am now a newcomer again,I am searching for a sponsor here on the Staying Cyber Site as this is all that I have right now.I truly believe that this program when worked properly will deliver me from myself and allow me to do GOD'S will,not mine. MAV/MARK,please stay off of this page for it is for newcomers and for anyoen else who has a positive message to send to the newcomers.The Pot is the place for stuff of less seriousness.We only need positive thoughts on this page,if you have any positive thoughts that you would like to share we would welcome those,otherwise stay out,please. While I dont know much,I think I am right in giving this advice as I have seen it work many many times,I was just too proud to do it with all of my heart.DONT DRINK AND GO TO MEETINGS,LOTS OF THEM,READ THE BIG BOOK,GET A SPONSOR,CARRY THE MESSAGE TO THE SUFFERING ALCOHOLIC. SLIPPERY S.


Member: Kerry B 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Remote Name: 24.116.9.214
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 08:44 AM -0400

Comments

I'm Kerry, and I am an alcoholic. Lea B - I hope you are still with us to spite your confusion. The first few days sober are really hard for most of us. They were for me. Speaking just for me, I really hated "change" in the beginning. I had depended on alcohol for long enough prior to trying to stay sober that it was almost "abnormal" for me to not drink. Trying to change that fact takes time and, at least for me, alot of tears. Please contact someone in your area who can share with you what it was like for them, and who can also hold your hand while you go thru this crucial time. No matter what you have done or not, please come back and let us know how you are doing.


Member: Shannon
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 08:52 AM -0400

Comments

Throughout my drinking, I have clung to the notion of "honesty". To some degree I am very brutally honest with myself. But then again, I live life fully cloaked in denial. Dishonesty. I had eight days sober and blew it yesterday. I was dishonest with myself, while justifying it as honest. I live a life comprised of lies and try to demand that those I deal with, deal honestly. Honesty. Wow. Its all about perspective and acceptance. I start over now. I have today. I am trying. I keep coming here. That is good. I will go to meetings. That is next. Honestly. For real. I struggle. But I know. It is in my heart and in my head. I hurt. But I will make it. I am going to get sober. I am going to quit drinking. I need to do this for me. Alcohol is ruining my life. Honest.


Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 09:29 AM -0400

Comments

HELLO TO ALL, MARK M HERE, ALCOHOLIC HONESTY IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN AA WE MUST BE HONEST WITH OURSELFS FIRST I'M SORRY ABOUT MY LAST POST I'LL TRY TO GET BETTER WHILE I CAN'T BE YOUR SPONSOR (SLIP) I CAN BE YOUR FRIEND LET ME KNOW IF YOU WANT TO TALK (TELEPHONE) I'LL GIVE YOU MY # I THINK WE COULD HELP EACH OTHER


Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 12:05 PM -0400

Comments

Hello everyone, I made it to Day 4 and just got back from a morning face to face meeting. I finally got to one. It was really good, very inspiring. This was a Big Book meeting with a smaller group. I made it to one about 6 months ago but was sort of frightened by it all and the number of people who came up to me to talk and to befriend me. I think at that time I just didn't want to face this problem. Getting numbers and talking with people in a smaller atmosphere felt good. I felt at ease and happy to be on my way to a better life. The section we read was I think pg 22 through to the end, called There is a Solution. It described me perfectly. The way I tell myself I am quiting and then just like that get drunk again, the way I make excuses for why I might not fail this time...all the insanity that I do. The women in the group also talked about how they thought an alcoholic was someone who drank 24/7, just as I did. We are all alike. It is nice to know that there are others that understand me.


Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.124.68.113
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 12:45 PM -0400

Comments

Carrie, alcoholic. I am so happy that you got to a meeting Lisa!! I really look forward to your posts, to see you change right before our eyes is one of the best gifts of this program. Sending you cyber hugs!!!!!


Member: Jackie
Location: MN
Remote Name: 198.74.20.78
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 01:33 PM -0400

Comments

WooooooHoooooo (((Lisa)))) So glad to hear you made it to a meeing! I have been watching you since you started coming on here last year, and can FEEL your struggle. When you start going to meetings, you find out you are NOT ALONE, there are soooo many of us like each other. I spent a LONG time thinking I was the ONLY person as pathetic as I was! Boy how WRONG I was. For me, alot of it was education thru these f2f meeting, I have learned soooo much this last year and a half, about myself that I NEVER let myself learn to begin with. Am still learning, and it is pretty cool! Proud of YOU Lisa :)


Member: Jim B
Location: Seattle
Remote Name: 172.202.11.210
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 03:56 PM -0400

Comments

MAV, glad to see that you are still around. You make some strong statements, my friend, but you always speak the truth. SOME people actually go get clean and sober in AA. By the most reliable statistics, it is about 3-4 per 1,000 members. As very, very small number, granted, but as a result of the placebo effect or another, this 0.3% DO get clean and sober. I agree with you that AA can often hurt more than it can help, but that is merely because the program itself is flawed, not because the idea of helping another human being is flawed. One has to remember that Bill Wilson started the program and wrote the big book and other AA materials SOLELY to profit financially. He had no altruistic purpose. Additionally, Wilson never was able to get clean and sober and died from his drug addiction. So, one would not expect that he could design a program that works. However, does offer a substantial pool of folks who really need help and if some knowledgeable people would come up with a program that actually works, and there is enough scientific material available now to design such a program, the network is set up to help these poor people. Let's work together to develop a program of recovery for these folks that actually works. Peace and blessings to all.


Member: Betsy
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 67.168.35.179
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 04:32 PM -0400

Comments

Wow, thank goodness there's always been a LARGE number of folks at AA meetings and meeting places in the areas I've lived. When there are a lot of people in varying stages of sobriety, new, not-so-new and old timers, it's a lot easier to gain perspective when you hear people talking about how the program "doesn't" work. In my early days i was just miserable all the time. My life was so unhappy and full of despair I was positive I could never be "happy, joyous and free" like so many people talked about. Folks that looked happy in their sobriety turned me off! Neither, however, could I bear to think that AA would not work, because that was too horrifying a thought. So, I stuck with folks who stayed sober despite having problems. They may have been miserable too, but by God they weren't drinking! That meant that I could do it too. As I said, when you have a crowd of sober people, voices that say the program doesn't work become like insignificant little gnats. Annoying, ridiculous even. All you need do is look around at all the other folks who, in varying stages of recovery, are staying sober and little by little building better lives. Sooner or later life does get better in sobriety. If it didn't I wouldn't still be here, thats for sure.... Hugs, Betsy


Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.124.68.113
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 05:37 PM -0400

Comments

Jim, could you please leave and go rant somewhere else? I find your insane theories and misguided judgements disturbing and wasteful. You are a sad, lonely man and I hope that someday you find the love you need and deserve.


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 06:39 PM -0400

Comments

Hi everyone; I'm Ralph and an alcoholic here. Still safe and dry at Day 19, getting through a substantial challenge without cravings. Hope the rest of you are enjoying a sober day. Peace! Ralph


Member: Janean
Location: New Orleans
Remote Name: 68.96.35.26
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 07:32 PM -0400

Comments

Hey everyone, My name is Janean, and I am an alcoholic and an addict. I am new to this site. I have only been sober for a month and a half. I am going back into treatment at an all-women's facility next week. To be honest, since that is the topic, I got kicked out of treatment the first time. Now, I am going back to finish. I am going back to the same place. I got kicked out because I got into people's business. I hope I can make it this time. Since, I got into the AA program and got a sponsor, I have had some conflicts. I have had to give up a one-year-relationship with a man whom I really love because he drinks and uses. This has been soo hard to do. He calls me a lot and dumb me answers the phone. I feel so guilty about talking to him and I have told my sponsor about this. She says I am not working the program thoroughly. Is it always this hard in the beginning? When I go to AA meetings, I feel so out of place. I am so in my head right now. So, any feedback will help. Thanks!!! Hope everyone is doing well!!! :)


Member: DonnaM
Location: Massachusetts
Remote Name: 68.65.186.149
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 07:49 PM -0400

Comments

Hi everyone, Day 3 for me again. For like the 10th time. After 3 i say to myself, why not a glass or 2 of wine. We all know why not. BUT I still think I can DO THIS ON MY OWN. I find myself wishing I knew some of you and we were friends. Living next door kind of friends. Anyway just wanted to let you all know that I am still here and reading all the posts. It does help and I read this sight every day, I don' t post much though.


Member: kenchamberss
Location: Frisco
Remote Name: 172.151.231.245
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 09:47 PM -0400

Comments

JimB, your statistics are a little off. Actually, about 2% of the people who come to AA actually quit drinking alcohol. However, if you adjust the statistics to reflect people who are actually drug free - i.e., no dependence on any drugs-alcohol, tobacco, pills, cocaine, marijuna - then your statistic of a success rate of a couple of people per thousand is correct. Most in AA consider themselves clean and sober if they quit drinking only, although the Centers for Disease Control and the Council on Substance Abuse defines sobriety as achieved only when one is free from all drug addictions. I wouldn't suggest you tell that to all the smokers and pillheads in AA however. It's a bit dangerous to get between and addict and his drugs!


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 205.188.116.195
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 09:48 PM -0400

Comments

hi everyone roze here alcoholic. JANEAN i can only speak for myself but i have & sometimes still do have a hard time at some meetings.but if what they say is true this to shall pass. i think it's great that your going back to the same rehab!i was told in the first 2 months to take the cotton out of my ears & put it in my mouth. we go to aa to fix us NOT to fix aa. DonnaM you know what you need to do to stay sober!this is your life your talking about.i congradulate you for coming back.just work on 1 24hr day at a time. i love you all thanks for helping me stay sober. love,roze


Member: Janean
Location: New Orleans
Remote Name: 68.96.35.26
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 10:17 PM -0400

Comments

Hi, Janean here again. Roze, thank you so much for writing back. I so appreciate you being here for me. I have had one of the hardest days so far since I got back into the program. I keep thinking about having to leave my son, but, I think in the long run it will all be worth it. I, too, hope that this too shall pass. I talked with my sponsor again, and wasn't pleased that I talked to my ex today. I pray that I can let him go. I know it takes one day at a time. I know I can't help him and expect to take care of myself at the same time. I have a problem with wanting to control things at all costs. I hope AA can help me with this too. Thanks again.


Member: Mark
Location: Albany, NY
Remote Name: 12.75.112.25
Date: April 29, 2004
Time: 11:15 PM -0400

Comments

Hi Janean}}} Hope all is a little better for you at present. Unfortunately, it sounds to me as though your control-freak sponsor is the one you should be getting rid. If you're going to treatment, drop the sponsor and wait till you get out and find a new one then, if that's what you so choose then. Anyways dear, she sounds as though she's doing far more of a disservice to you than anything, and I've been doing this thing a long time. The real goodness facts are that there are honestly very few women in AA that ever achieve any level of actual healthy living. Not that the men do much better, but they are generally not as far gone. They however tend to be the worse smokers, so I guess it all evens out in the long run, huh? I mean, look at how Carrie says Jim from Seattle is sad and lonely, how would she possibly know that? She doesn't, but since he has a brain and can think for himself and sees what is before his very eyes without buying into all the brainwashing, she can't HONESTLY look at the Truth which he speaks, so she pulls out the "AA can" and let's it rip. It's rather pathetic, but also very sad a she has no clue that she has no clue. That's the funny thing about "the fellowship," hang around them and they will brainwash you so well you won't even know it. Then when someone like myself comes along you not only can't recognize the Truth, you have such cognitive dissonance, you will be torn beyond words until you can muster the experience, strength and hope to get the hell out of the silliness of what it actually is. Now that's the HONEST Truth folks, no holds barred...


Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.124.68.113
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 01:55 AM -0400

Comments

THIS IS AN AA WEBSITE. I apologize to the group for posting more than once this week and for getting involved with anything other than sharing my experience, strength and hope.


Member: glenn r
Location: moe victoria aust.
Remote Name: 202.87.165.73
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 07:38 AM -0400

Comments

i been about a a now for 18 yrs but i struggle to see good examples around even sober many yrs i feeling right out on a limb at times i know i havtoo focus on my on progress i havtoo grow or ill go !!!!!


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 08:38 AM -0400

Comments

Hi Everyone! 7 months tomorrow of blissful sobriety! Yeah, like everyone I've had my highs and lows, but coming here and reading the posts has kept me sober! Thanks to all of you for being there for me everyday. Yes, this is an AA website, and unfortunately that means taking life on lifes terms day by day. That includes facing all of our addictions and afflictions everyday head on. We cannot pick and choose which ones we will quit, and which ones we will continue to do as this will affect our overall goal of continuous sobriety. We also need to deal with people who will do anything to push us off course. As alcoholics, we have a tendency to find an excuse for anything. We have had to for years in order for our disease to get to the point it has. Be strong for yourself as well as your loved ones. We all can do it.. one day at a time.. work it!..here's to another sober 24 for all of us!


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 205.188.116.195
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 09:23 AM -0400

Comments

janean, you can email me if you want. wwildroze@aol.com love,roze


Member: Andrew M
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.236
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 11:19 AM -0400

Comments

Good morning everyone, David-alcoholic. Yesterday I spoke on the phone to one of my old buddies(drinking) Had not spoke to him for months. He told me I am not an alcoholic, I am a social drinker out of control. When I pressed him, he said that since I didn't have a shot of vodka at 10am every day to kick start me I am not an alcoholic. This person is an idiot, has always been an idiot, yet I am disturbed. Any thoughts?


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 64.109.136.4
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 12:05 PM -0400

Comments

It seems you've answered your own question, Andrew. Let no one tell you what you are or what your're not, or what you feel and believe to be true. When the consequences of your drinking affects you and your life, whether those consequences are imposed from outside forces or forces from within, You will do what you believe is best for you. You can never fail when you work at bettering yourself. Best wishes.


Member: Maverick 1
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 24.195.208.10
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 12:54 PM -0400

Comments

So what, no sign in necessary for this page or what? I am barred from the pot I guess, too funny... I can't get inthere, but can here? See how they operate arond here those of you whom are new? Take note of this as if you ever stray from doing and saying exactly as the control-freaks say in AA, then you will be thrown out, literally! Let me try the pot again and see if it's true... Oh my, what's a guy to do???


Member: Maverick 1
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 24.195.208.10
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 01:23 PM -0400

Comments

Alright newbies, here's the best and most HONEST advice your going to get today----RUN like hell from AA and find some real help, this isn't it!!! I've been around this thing a long time and take my word for it, if you stick around it's going to be much, much more difficult than it has to be. Hey, your choice, just know what you're getting into and don't say you weren't warned...


Member: Maverick 1
Location: Purgatory
Remote Name: 24.195.208.10
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 01:43 PM -0400

Comments

I have a question for you JimmyR, sir. Are you a little "funny," or do you think you are "funny," or are you even alittle funny to yourself? I sure hope so, becuase you are absolutely a little "funny" to some and we are all laughing hysterically at and with you hopefully. You are laughing as you are joking, right?


Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 03:40 PM -0400

Comments

((Carrie S)) and ((Jackie)) Thanks for caring. I couldn't believe that you remembered my posts. It felt so good reading your comments. I went to agroup meeting last night also that I have to do for the treatment program as part of the DUI. They showed a bunch of kids partying and having fun, it was talking about the way that college kids die from drinking to much, but it took me back to all the fun I used to have and it became a trigger for me. Imagine that. I went home freaking out that I was wasting my life in hiding and I should be out with all of my friends having a great time. I forgot all the insanity and thought only of when things were good. I didn't end up drinking I stayed home. I didn't call anyone I went to a friends house in my aprtment complex and sort of just let those thoughts stay in the back of my mind. I thought if I really think I can handle it then I will wiat until Friday to call them all, at least so I know I won't miss work again. I asked God today to help me get through 90 days sober. I can't let those thoughts take me over again. I need to stay strong and think only of my sobriety right now. I know the cycle of feeling good and then things falling down again. I am going to another meeting tonight. I actually am excited about having something to do. Wierd huh, all this time, I have been afraid. By the way I am on Day 5!!!


Member: Jimmy D
Location: Worcester
Remote Name: 209.113.190.42
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 04:53 PM -0400

Comments

I can so relate to that feeling of " ok " and then having a crash. As a cronic relappser, I understand a little of what happens to me, I start to loose hope and say why bother. Once that thought floats in my head for a while I'm gone. I think they call it stinkin thinkin. Anyway, thanks for sharing, it helps to know someone else goes thru the same stuff


Member: Mary O
Location: Long Island
Remote Name: 24.47.62.111
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 05:41 PM -0400

Comments

Hi- I'm Mary, most definitely an alcoholic. I just wanted to say goodbye to all of you and wish you well. I am on day 19 now and want more than anything to stay sober. Coming to this webpage was initially part of my recovery.However,the last thing I need right now is any negativism in regards to the process of recovery. It's too bad that a few spoil this for the many who come here for help and hope. I will pray for all of you and I sincerely wish the best for all of you.


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 07:28 PM -0400

Comments

Folks, try to bear with us, we will soon have this little maverick 1 situation solved. Try to remember how compulsively nuts you acted when drinking. Keep a good thought and don't drink just for today.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 07:46 PM -0400

Comments

HI Andrew M or David-alcholic.. My name is Bill and I am an alcoholic. As such, I am powerless over alcohol. Mine and everyone elses. I hope that answers your question Bill


Member: Lea B
Location: North Carolina
Remote Name: 24.148.148.30
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 10:59 PM -0400

Comments

Hello, Lea B in NC, and I'm an alcoholic. I truly appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers- I'm on day 4 of being sober! I have really tried hard to focus these past few days, although the urges are there. My fiance' is so proud of me, he is being very supportive thank Heaven. I have been praying very hard and getting outside to enjoy sunshine without having a buzz. I know I have a long road, but I thank God I've finally found it. I do plan on going to a meeting in the next couple days, my fiance' said he'd be more than happy to go with me. I am really trying to look inside myself now and see how I really was when I drank. A VERY IRRITABLE HATEFUL "B"! Just the past 4 days, I've actually been able to "stand" myself- not to mention loved ones. The physical aspects are still a little shaky, but my mind is clearing some! I'm so glad I found this site, I really have taken to heart every post. I don't understand a couple, but that's okay- I'm sober for today!!


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.197
Date: April 30, 2004
Time: 11:37 PM -0400

Comments

Lea, The good in you that was always there before, will help you overcome this problem. This disease is a disease of the body, mind and soul. 1. Disease of the Body: once alcohol is in the bloodstream it produces what's called "the phenomona of craving"... our body processes alcohol differently than 90% of the population. 2. Disease of the mind: The mind tricks us to believe we can drink normally after many attempts to control our drinking. 3. Disease of the soul or spiritual malady means we become restless, irritable and discontent in life, like you said a total b*cth, or bas*ard for guys. Disharmony with ourselves, our Higher Power, and the world around us (loved ones, employers, almost everybody.) In short we are stuck on ourselves and can't get unstuck. This program of recovery (ACTION) gives us the tools to live life sober. And I, like many others here have been given a gift that far surpasses any expectations when we first got here. If we could do it, you can too. You have a big PLUS coming into this program. You have a fiance and probably many family members wanting you to get better, loving you unconditionally. With that type of support and with our help you have a GREAT chance to get the gift too, as does everybody here now, seeking help. DON'T pay any attention to the resentful flamers on this site. There are flamers all over the internet and like many other sites, we are learning to eliminate them, not just ignore or deal with them, but to ban them, continously if need be. Get to meetings ASAP. Find the solution that has worked for millions of suffering alcoholics in AA. Love and sobriety to all! What a ride!


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 07:16 AM -0400

Comments

Good morning everyone, Ralph/alcoholic here. Starting Day 21 and still in the rosy glow of the pink cloud. Getting through my ordeal on Thursday (disciplinary hearing at work for something I'd done last fall while drunk) without drinking now gives me hope for today. (My cravings are strongest on weekends.) Best wishes for a sober24 to all! Peace --Ralph


Member: Mark
Location: Albany, NY
Remote Name: 12.75.113.24
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 08:15 AM -0400

Comments

Lea ))) Welcome dear lady... Do yourself a favor, skip the advice of JimR. abaout going to meetings asap, matter of fact, skip them altogether... They may work, but the odds are against you there as others here have already pointed out very well. As my new friend Hal stated on the pot about the steps only rarely working, they do work if you work them, but so doesn't anything else... You needn't go to "their" meetings where they will attempt to unbeknowingly even to themselves attempt to brainwash you, they will suck you in before you know what happened, then it may be too late to recover from their brand of recovery... Drinking and drugging is never , NEVER a good idea for someone that's had a history of problems with it, that's only too obvious... What's not obvious is that the way promoted around here is only one of millions upon millions of ways to reach the same result of no longer drinking. But if you want more than that, meetings are good for little else, very little... Good luck on your journey sweetheart, just try to keep your eyes open if you do go to a meeting as they do like to prey on the weak and vulnerable newcomer, boy do they ever...


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.197
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 08:40 AM -0400

Comments

resentful flamer + mav = oxymoron = resident outcast... former clergy railed out of the church on sexual abuse charges with little girls, has at least 10 alias'. to read him is to know his pathetic intentions. he simply gets a woody disrupting and as many astute members have observed here, he's got a wee little wee wee woody...


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 10:14 AM -0400

Comments

Hi (All) Kelly an alcoholic. I am 19 months sober today! Yipee...For anyone new don't be afraid of the sick ones. Some are sicker than others and some have untreated alcoholism. It's sad isn't it? Today, I pray for them. This is the tool I use to deal with the not so pleasant people in my life. It's called the Angry Mans Prayer. Fourth Step Prayer: --"This is a sick man. How can I be helpful to him? God save me from being angry. Thy will be done". Page 67--3rd Edition--Big Book. Also--Page 552--3rd Editon--Big Book (emphasis mine)--((("If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don't really want it for them, and your prayers are only words and you don't mean it, go ahead and do it anyways. Do it everyday for two weeks and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you will now feel compassionate understanding and love"))). Or a shorter version is: Bless them(person),Help me. For some reason this free's me of resentments...Kelly :)


Member: Lea B
Location: North Carolina
Remote Name: 24.148.148.30
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 11:32 AM -0400

Comments

Good Morning Everyone! Lea in NC, and I'm an alcoholic. Yes, it IS a good Saturday morning for me, the first Saturday in I don't know WHEN, that I looked in the mirror and didn't look like a puffy corn pop! WOW, I so desperately want to make it- I couldn't wait to get on line to see if someone had some positive thoughts for me. JimR in Chicago, you REALLY gave me some good insight. For that I thank you- with all of the other kind persons who I feel are "really" in my corner. I may not know you, have met you, but I FEEL YOU!! Like I mentioned in last night's post, I take every one of the posts to heart. I know that everyone may not agree on what does or doesn't help a person get sober, but agreeing to disagree can alleviate some of the tension. I try to respect anyone's opinion who I think "in their own way" is trying to help me see truth whether I agree with them or not. Ultimately I feel in your own heart, how you obtain true sanity is your own choice. Whether it is to fellowship with people who have "been there and done that" or not. It's my choice, and right now I choose to listen/talk to people who've been down my road and understand ME! I know in MY heart it is what the Lord intends for me to do. I hope everyone has a great sober weekend! Love and prayers to you all, Lea


Member: Tihearah K.
Location: Charleston SC
Remote Name: 64.12.116.195
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 11:36 AM -0400

Comments

I'm an ALCOHOLIC name tihearah, good topic. before coming to the program i had know clue what that word was. It was never a part of my vocabluary. I lied about everything, my name, where i lived, what school i went to, my age and the list goes on. I lied to get me out of trouble, I lied so that you would like me, I lied so that you wouldn't like me and the list goes on. When I got here I lied and said that I had six months clean of alcohol and drugs. Mind you, I was going through withdrawls off of everything I had put in my body every day for three years and it was bad. For six months I couldn't eat or sleep. The worst thing of all is that my behavior did't change. I was still doing the same things that I was doing to get high in the first place. I guess you can say I was forced to get honest. Doing what I was doing was killing me, I didn't know any other way. The first person I got honest with was my sponsor and she already knew. What that did was save my life. The only way she could help me was I had to get HONEST I had to become OPEN-MINDED and I had to be WILLING. I have to PRACTIC these PRINCIBLES in all my affairs on a daily baicis. If I want to live, and I do! PEACE LOVE HAPPINESS ALL. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE.


Member: LisaT
Location: Wisconsin
Remote Name: 68.187.113.151
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 06:21 PM -0400

Comments

Hello all. I'm new to this site so bear with me. I think I need to practice honesty and not denial at what a mess alcohol has made of life. I'm two days sober off a month long binge, in which I've lost yet another job and pretty much all respect from my family. I think it was Jimmie D. who best describes my lack of honesty when it comes to alcohol, its one two thought processes: "things are so bad, so this drink won't hurt", or "things are looking better, so that must mean I have some control over it now". And I'm off to the races. HONESTY, not denial, that's the ticket. I can honestly say things are looking bad right now.


Member: RalphK
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 12.217.224.245
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 07:19 PM -0400

Comments

Lisa T: you are not alone, and that's meant in two senses: (1) I've been there, as have most of us--we're able to rationalize the most irrational actions in our fundamental dishonesty with ourselves; (2) you have friends here, whose support will help you get through this very difficult phase. Congratulations on taking the first step! Get to a meeting, and sign on here often. It all helps, and it does get better. Ralph/alcoholic, happy joyous and free at Day 21.


Member: Sally H.
Location: Southwest
Remote Name: 65.40.119.92
Date: May 01, 2004
Time: 09:33 PM -0400

Comments

I'm Sally and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for 19 days and am excited about being clear-headed instead of hung over.