Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 07:07 AM
Hi Everyone--Marsha from Mich an alcoholic. This is the beginning of my eighth day of sobriety. Today I am happy because I didn't pick up the first drink. (Jan BB) I too have the desire to not be a drunken lush. I just never had the guts to put it quite like that. Thanks for telling it like it is. (Robin) I started having blackouts in November of 2001 and it scared me so badly that I sought counseling but didn't stop drinking. I had some pretty bad fights with my husband that I didn't even remember. After counseling started, I had longer periods of sobriety from time to time but during my time of not drinking, the guilt feelings were so crushing that I couldn't stand the pain and so I started drinking again. I need AA. I feel that this is the plan that will allow me to experience a sober life. It will take alot of guts but I am going to tell my husband that I am going to attend some meetings. This will be weird. I will put my sobriety first no matter what. Last year I had Easter dinner at my house but I had a bottle hidden and every so often I would slip away and have a shot. I was semi in the bag and that was the only way I could cope with all those people and all that cooking. Last night as I began to start cooking the feast, I had a feeling of fun and enjoyment. I remembered that feeling from a long time ago. My toxicity from the alcohol has left me physically but the mental residue is what I have to clean up. I know that job can only be done through support from you at this websight and through going to AA meetings. Thank you all for being here and letting me share.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 08:17 AM
Hi All So happy that I was given this address last night from a member of AA , I am 5 whole days sober,last night wasnt to good for me , I was at a meeting and tried to listen to all that was being shared but my mind was racing,drink kept coming into my mind but I knew I didnt want it, crazy thoughts, I shared these feelings and was assured by a few members that shared afterwards that what I was feeling was normal, was I glad to hear that,it helped me understand my thoughts a bit more. Thankyou to Ken for the link to the music, I am downloading it at this minute. I think the most important thing for me right now is to make my meetings my priority as I know that if I hadnt attended the meetings the past 4 nights I would be sat here with a bottle and I am so thankfull I am not! Thankyou all for listening to me .
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 08:21 AM
Welcome Lyn
Member: LB
Location: Missouri
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 08:22 AM
hello. New here. Happy Easter. Its a gorgeous day Relax and enjoy what it has to offer.
Member: Jennifer M
Location: TX
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 09:52 AM
Hi, this is Jennifer. Alcoholic, and finally able to admit it. Happy Easter. I've been sober for 3 whole days now. My husband is very unimpressed. He thinks I've just lost my mind...and I have. I have done some really awful things being a drinker. I pray that I can stay sober for real now...I want my family to have a sane wife and mom. Praise God for this day. Thank you.
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 10:38 AM
Happy Easter to all! Blessed sober morning! Peace be with you, Marsha L., Lyn, LB, and Jennifer M. And peace be with:
Member: Jan B.
Location: New York
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 11:24 AM
Happy Easter Good Morning, I am glad I am visiting this web site again. There is a diverse group - from those who are finding a sense of Euforia to those who struggle daily. I think I have been found to be the second. Thanks Jan BB. for your kind words. I love you too - that your always there no matter how many times I have came back and said - well jeez that didn't work - or just given up hope. Hope is all I have at this point. Hope that I can make it one day at a time. I did give some thought to rehab. It would be nice to just get away for 30 days and have people there to support you. However, I can't take that option. I am looking into counseling. And yes, pondering if I ever really gave AA a fair chance to help me. I was reading about the person who is afraid to tell her husband. I find that too, not that my boyfriend wouldn't be supportive - but feel he is saying inside - oh here we go AGAIN. I have had a lot of AGAINS trying to quit drinking. Stopping only to fail and start again. Jan BB. I am sorry you failed for so many years - but it is encouraging for someone who has tried for a couple of years only to fail - that there are people out there who weren't first time winners. I need to know that - that my past attempts - however small they were, helped me to learn, and someday succeed at staying sober for a period of time. Hopefully, to someday never drink again, but right now all I have is today.... One day at a time.
Member: L-RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 12:04 PM
Hi Lyn - Marsha-Jennifer, Well done girls! as Gage will tell you im the iron man! and its nice this easter to see new people getting sober! Lyn will know a Scottish singer Lena Martell she had a hit with "One Day at a Time" last time i heard she was one of us! its a great song and at most dances its song here in Scotland, you can down load it from the web, so just for the day everyone have a great easter!---regards L_RAY
Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 12:33 PM
I have tried several attempts in the last 26yrs to get and stay sober, but the one thing that kept letting me down was worrying about whether or not i will want a drink tomorrow, now i just keep it in the day and it works. ((Ray)) Lena Martell, my god i'd rather drink then listen to her! LOL
Member: L-RAY
Location: somewere in Spain
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 01:45 PM
Im going to tell Lena (((( Tracy))))everyone knows yous essex girls cant sing!!!
Member: Cecilia D
Location: Chapel Hill
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 02:56 PM
One day at a time. It's been nice the last few days and I totally forgot about drinking until today! I am happy to be sober. Happy Holidays to all and Lots of Love.
Member: Jennifer M
Location: TX
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 04:06 PM
Hello all again! Its been a great day. Keeping busy with the kids and all. My husband is avoiding me, I pray he will come back around. One day at a time. Before I would always think too farr ahead..."what about next weekend at the party". I'm not going to worry anymore, just keep it in the day. I love this sight. I have not been to an AA meeting, however I have read a little of the Big Book. Guess I should try to connect with others in person too eh?! Thanks for listening, God Bless!!
Member:
Location:
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 05:27 PM
I've got only today, one day at a time.
Member: Jason D
Location: M
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 05:35 PM
I have been in and out of aa my whole life, I am determined to stay this time Im tired of the consequences alcohol causes me in and out of jails, prisons, and rehabs I left my girlfriend and moved in with my exwife because my girlfriend drinks my girlfriend has quit drinking on my behalf before and I was the one to initiate the first use she wants me to come back and I really want to I just dont want to make the wrong decision and end up where I always end up drunk and worthless again I never know what the right thing to do is and the emotional pain is making the compulsion for a drink almost unbearable I use the phone when the compulsion is great and it does help but it is soon to return because I never get the answers about my situation I know Im the only one who can decide but i just dont know what the right thing to do is I look at this opprotunity staying with my exwife as being able to live with my kids and be a normal family but the thoughts of my girlfriend are always there and I experince emotional pain from being away from her. I just dont want to pick up again and am very confused this is my 15th day and i am going stir crazy
Member: Mike S
Location: Mid-Michigan
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 06:08 PM
Mike,alcoholic. Happy Easter to all of you. I do not have much wisdom, but, from my times in treatment, both in and out-patient---I was always told not to make any big decisions the first year. Maybe you should step back and focus solely on sobriety and let not worry about relationships---turn it over. Good luck.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 06:56 PM
Hi All Thankyou for welcoming me into the group.Have had a good day and so thankfull I never lifted that first drink.Having a bit of trouble understanding my emotions,so much too learn but willing to do what ever it takes to help me gain a better under standing into Alcolism.A dear friend gave me 2 books, one being Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, the other Alcoholics Anonymous about 3 years ago and ashamed to say now that they were put in a drawer, I have them out now and would appreciate advice as to is there a time when you start reading these and which one would be best for me to help me begin to understand all the feelings that I am experiencing just now. Today I had a good day, as the day went on my mind would be racing, thinking of alcohol but not wanting to drink, frightend to go to the loacl store for food in case I bought alcohol, all feelings like that, perhaps this is my body beginning to crave the drink , I just dont know so feel perhaps it best I try and do some searching. I went to my 5th meeeting tonight , my spirits just seem to lift when ever I walk into the fellowship.I am so thankfull I walked through those doors when I did. L_Ray Yeh I do remember Lena Martell, cant say I liked her lol but the song is so true, mind you for me its one hour at a time just now, ta for saying hello. Jason my heart goes out to you,I have a few problems in my life just now too but at this present time my priority has got to be my sobriety ,I hope it all works out well for you. Hope everyone has had a lovely Easter Day. Going to bed now and so thankfull that I never lifted that drink , thankyou for listening to me.
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 11:03 PM
hi Diane here Alcoholic Day 26 sober and so proud of my days almost a month. This Easter was kind of trying, I had a sister who is a X cranster as I like to call it ( crank) anyway she is off that but I found out she is back on pills again mostly downers for her, she had a fist fight with her Daughter then rambled on about how no one loved her which we all know is the drugs talking, so today was not as good a Easter as I would have like but I did stay sober all weekend and just to see how unhappy she was made me even more want to stay away from the drunk state of mind one day at a time wow that blows my mind since on Friday as I was walking that popped in my head in song and found my self singing that tune and it is so true Marsha L glad to here you are making it you go girl and welcome to all the new people and all the good post, I sure missed my morning reading of this site so as soon as I got home and put away everything I jumped on for my Daily Bread Diane
Member: Kim V
Location: kvaughn@madison.main.nc.us
Date: April 20, 2003
Time: 11:03 PM
Kim V here alcoholic. I remember when staying sober for one day at a time seemed so over- whelming. I have been clean and sober almost 7 years now. Welcome to all the new comers and keep up the good work. reach out ask for help, comfort, go to meetings, share your thoughts, feeling. and pain and you will be amazed. I learned that I could not be bothered by relationships, and that my decision making skills at first were not good. So I did not make decisions without my sponsor and I spend a lot of time in meetings and at AA clubs and reading and rereading my big book. I didn't let myself get lonely and refused to let myself feel sorry for myself. I reached somewhere deep inside and found some courage and today life is wonderful. I live happy, joyous and free. Keep coming back my friends.
Member: Todd G
Location: IL
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 12:28 AM
Hello Todd..Alcoholic... Starting over again today..Can so relate to the feelings of concern about what im going to do at the next day, party or weekend (Jenifer M)...It drives me to Drink!..Made it through today and I feel great. One Day at a time! Thanks for the posts. It helps
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 08:39 AM
Good morning everyone--Marsha here an alcoholic.--Easter Sunday was a good day--I thought about having a drink just one time yesterday and thank God it passed. I think about it less and less. I have to think in terms of one day at a time. This is day 9 for me. Recently after a slip (that is why this is just day 9) I realized that I was living in fear of the next weekend or the next get together and what would I do if and when and etc., etc. That is when I decided to work at it one day at a time. First it was one hour at a time. The craving that would hit me was like a vice that gripped me and in the past when this happened, I would run to the store and get some vodka or beer and when I left the store I felt a great sense of relief. So I thought--what is this all about?--I was getting relief without drinking anything. Then I figured out that this must be what the obsession is. Today I am without a car because my daughter needed to borrow it. Last week I would have had a panic attack because I couldn't have gone out to get my beer. That is really a sick thing. But, it is the nature of the disease DIS-EASE. Thank you for all of the new people that have posted. Glad you got through your family stuff Diane. I had a family member (in law) that is always late (I hosted dinner)and brought her normal pity party and continued to demonstrate that life is all about her ALL FRIGGEN DAY LONG. I wanted a drink but I didn't and am thankful today. ONE DAY AT A TIME. Thank you for listening. God Bless.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 08:50 AM
Hey ((Jan B.)) I'm with you, all we have is today, one day at a time. I was thinking about your statement of " . .pondering if I ever really gave AA a fair chance to help me". You know, that was my stumbling block in the in /out thing. I hid out between meetings, from everyone and life. I went to work then a meeting afterwards, left he meeting without talking to anyone, went and rented a movie, got some take away, went to bed late, and started all over the next day. I lived alone, and just did the minimal, went to meetings and did not drink. One time, I, oh this was nut's, I jumped up towrds the end of the meeting, I just had enough of what I thought at the time, was a Stepford type droaning on and on of how great AA was, I snapped, jumped up and yelled, "Your hat's are off to me, (BB quote, what was I thinking?) I can drink" and ran out of the room. As this drama queen was making for the parking lot, I could hear a few yell back "Keep comming back Jan!" I was thinking to myself as I plopped in the drivers seat, "Shit, they never give up!" I knew I haden't given it a fair chance, but damn, it is so hard to keep comming back, so many of us know that one. Like I said on the previous, page, I had to let go of repeating early sobriety, I really wanted sobriety, so bad, more than I wanted to start over-one more time. I alos came to the conclusion that all these folk could not all be in on one huge lie, they were happy, joyous and free, free of abusing alcohol and free to experience happiness, which I had heard quite a bit of. So then I started to focus on listening to people and hear what they had in common with other happy sober people in the rooms. I found, that those people had a common ground regarding service, all of them, did service in AA, to some degree or another and plus, they had or were working the steps with a sponsor. I had ahd a sponsor, but had not really put my nose to working the steps, I was always the needy phoning drama type sponsee, a real pain in the ass nightmare. So, I got the gut's to ask these people what service they did and if I could join them, if they wouldn't mind? I was swept up on that in a heart beat, and off to Teleservice, helping plan a Women's Conference, Intergroup, coffee service, clean up, Oh forget those movies and take away, I was placed in the action, working with other's who were showing me how. I got to know these women and men, and found their aims were true, met the spouse's and boy/girlfriends they might mention in meetings and saw whole people rather than just people who don't drink. I also found a sponsor who showed me how the steps work and how they were taken, in order and she took none of my selfcentered drama queen sniveling crap. I just kept on, one sober day next to another sober day, and kept doing more and more different things than I had ever done before my prior attemps at AA. Anyway, here I am rambling and I want to ask you a question, what could you do differently this time? What action could you do in giving AA a fair chance to help you? This is just an off the top of your head question, please don't go to how this would affect anyone and edit yourself, just a free flow of thought, K? BTW, this is for anyone here and that includes, ((Marsh L.))((Lyn))((Emma))((LB))((Tracy))((Jennifer M.))((Jason))((Di B.))((Dee))((Todd G.)) And ((Jan B.)) no pressure from me, only support. :) HOPE for ((Everyone)) janbbparis@yahoo.com
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 09:00 AM
(Jan BB) First I would go to a face to face meeting and somehow prove myself to be able to become totally involved to help other people beat this disease that I hate so much.
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 09:22 AM
<<<<<Jan BB>>>>>> the difference for me this time that is helping me is this board it is right now my only means of real people and it helps me to stay sober just to read what others are going through, I am going to go to meetings on the first of next month and will go with a open mind not a judging mind. I use to think AA was just people that would judge me but I'm coming to believe it is way more and it is helping me so much Day 27 sober
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 10:33 AM
Hi All, Thanks Jan BB for describing my first time around in AA 6 years ago! Great post! I could relate totally to being a fly on the wall and thinking I would get it by not participating. I also did not look for the similarities only the differences in the speakers. The one action I did this time differently is I embraced the program of AA the way a drowning man grabs a life preserver, (BB). After a 6 year relapse I was dying of alcoholism and I chose life and WAS WILLING TO GO TO WHATEVER LENGTHS TO ACHIEVE THAT. I am working the steps with a sponsor and attend 20 meetings a week. I have 4 jobs in AA at various meetings, coffee maker, bookie, secretary, and treasurer. I go on commitments all over the state and meet other alcoholics. The part I enjoy the most in service work is reaching out to the newcomer with phone numbers, rides to meetings or just old lending them an ear. Does this keep me sober? I think it does one day at a time. If I slack off on my meetings or put anything or anyone ahead of my sobriety I may drink again. I used to be co-dependent but I worked through that and now I am a stand alone type woman, I'm independent. I used to think a relationship could fill the hole inside me but it never did along with booze. I have to love me first and I do now and have a little self confidence that is growing. Everyone have a great week. Kelly
Member: Kat W
Location: California
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 01:13 PM
Hi everyone, I'm on day one (same as Tod G. :) Wanting support but nervous about reaching out. I've "started over" so many times, I want this to be it. My husband has been my drinking buddy and that's such a huge issue for me; he has tried to support my attempts at sobriety, but he has also undermined my efforts with a wink and a nod and hey, let's drink! Anyone else experiencing this? Bye for now.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 01:29 PM
Hi Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. On my first birthday, my sponsor asked me where I would like to be this same time next year. Whoa Dick!! What happened to "One Day at a Time"? He told me we stay sober one day at a time. Other areas of our lives require planning. I decided to go to college. From then on each night I called him, he would ask me what had I done go get myself in college. My answer was always the same. "I just made the decision." One day our conversation went like this: Do you know your major? No. Are you taking a minor? I don't know. Do you know the class schedules? No. How much is the tuition? I don't know. Are they going to accept you? I don't know. Then, What did you do TODAY, to get you in college? Ohh. Duhhh. Ok. And that is how I learned to stay sober. Set goals. Seek those goals and live life, One Day at a time. To make plans but not to plan the result. I did go to college, I graduated and became very successful in my field of study. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Unknown
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 01:39 PM
Well, evidently you could quit drinking to give AA a chance but that decision is obvious. To be face to face in a AA meeting is also your choice but to some that choice is not in the options list and there are those that choose to surpass that option whatever the reason. I would never attend an AA meeting; for my own reasons. I am just me and realize the addiction that I do have and I am trying my very best to surpass it.
Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:15 PM
((unknown)) OUR very best has never worked up till this point, I notice in your post it is all about you and what you think, remember what a mess we have already made of our lives, that is why we chose to accept a god of our understanding,becuase alone we fall united we stand. Just a personal insight maybe not right but it works for me.
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:42 PM
I think people make their own decisions
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:45 PM
I think people make their own decisions
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:47 PM
I think people make their own decisions; own choices and all.
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:47 PM
I think people make their own decisions; own choices and all.
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:51 PM
Trust I have family from England; it's everyone's own call
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:52 PM
Trust I have family from England; it's everyone's own call
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 02:59 PM
Trust I have family from England; it's everyone's own call. I am just me and always will be. I cannot justify anyones resolution; I just am happy to be me. I am happy to me but really wish that I could be me and be happy just being happy me. For no one wishes; I only wish that I can just be Me. Dee
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 03:27 PM
Unknown, I can see you have made your own decision that is right for you. I'm glad you could just stop drinking. I could not no matter what I tried. Even AA took twice before I adjusted my alcoholic thinking and accepted it. I used to come to this site years ago while I was sitting in front of the computer drinking. I never contributed back then but I took it in and knew it was an option. I wanted easy answers to my drinking problem but I never heard people here saying it was easy. Everyone was happy to be sober and shared about their own experience. I'd like to hear yours and how you quit and stay sober one day at a time. Kelly
Member:
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 03:59 PM
Me Too
Member: D
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 04:01 PM
Me Too
Member: D
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 04:02 PM
Me Too
Member: trust i can
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 04:06 PM
Me Too
Member: trust i can
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 04:07 PM
Me Too
Member: trust i can
Location:
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 04:08 PM
Me Too
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 06:52 PM
Kat W <<<<< I too have a husband who was my drinking budy and believe me I could start back at any time just a nod or wink and he would buy it or even might have it on hand, So I am trying to work my steps and have a goal to stay sober one day at a time thanks Diane
Member: JASON L.
Location: derry pennsylvania
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 06:56 PM
hell everybody,and a very happy easter to you all!jason l here,addict and alcoholic!one day at a time is the biggest thing for me,not only in my sobriety,but in my everyday life as well!a good saying to go along with it is haste makes waste.if i rush things,everything gets all screwed up and even more confusing than they already are,but taking things one day at a time,and one problem at a time,there is NOTHING in this world that we cant overcome!thanks for letting me share!
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 08:08 PM
Day hours are not to much of a problem for me, I can fill my day with work which is from home on pc, evenings were always my problem so I choose to go to my meetings in the evenings, it somehow replaces the drink, my spirts lift when I walk in to the fellowship and sharing with each other, so gratefull for not lifting a drink today, I am going to bed now, thought this was my 6th day but Mum tells me its my 7th , very thankfull for that, I enjoy reading all the posts, when I come home from a meeting in the evening , I come here to let you all know how it has been and its been a good day.Thankyou for reading my posts.
Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 09:57 PM
Hello, I'm Karen, alcoholic. I came home extra-tired tonight and thought how good it would be to have a glass of wine. A GLASS? hah! That would only be the beginning. At least I've come far enough to know that. I have a little over 13 months sober now, and I know I need to stay that way. But sometimes it gets boring. I have to remember what brought me to this point. I can never forget my bottom. I really needed to talk about this and I am grateful that you are here so I can share when I need to. Sometimes I feel strong and think I might be able to help someone else. Tonight I feel weak and it is all I can do to remind myself of the importance of my sobriety.K
Member: s
Location: ohio
Date: April 21, 2003
Time: 10:25 PM
Member: Robin
Location: Iowa
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 12:45 AM
Robin alcoholic here 24 days sober. Onee day at a time is how I am currently trying to "control the beast". A little talk with my HP (God) to give me strength. It is pretty easy for me to go Mon-Friday without a real thought of alcohol I work in the evenings and I usually don't drink before work. The weekends are my danger zone starting at 11:00pm on Friday. After wigging out this past weekend I am feeling better today. I had a great Easter and got to spend time with my daughter which is part of the reason I would like to remain sober. I don't want her remembering "drunk mommy". I know that I could change how I do things with AA. I already have I now bbeleive I actually am addicted where I could not admit that before. I could make a plan to go to a meeting. I know tomorrow at noon there is a meeting not too far away and it is open I will attend it. Now that I have put it into writing that should be enough to hold me to it. I know that I need to go to those meetings. I need to work the steps because the last time I was at AA I did not feel there was anything wrong with me. I got sent to rehab while I was in the military and I was pissed off. I did the bear minimum to get me through the program and not lose my rank. My counselors said "you will be drinking as soon as you leave this program." I thought "you damn right because there is nothing wrong with me." I thought I drank because everyone else does it and I am suppose to because this is my show of independence. Boy I WAS WRONG. Well I am rambling on. Thanks for letting me share. Jan BB I will be at that meeting tomorrow at noon and I will let you know how it goes when I post after 11:00 pm CST tomorrow.
Member: Sean H
Location: Washington St.
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 01:49 AM
I keep asking myself if I don't drink, what the heck am I going to do. Talking to my sponsor works for a little bit. One thing I'm getting addicted to this solitare...
Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 07:06 AM
Hi, my name is Carrie and I am an alcoholic. I have been part of to AA for the past year, had three relapses and am now picking up my 90 day chip at meetings this week. Gotta say, this has been the toughest and the best year of my life. One day at a time is the best and only conceivable thing we can do around here. What a gift, to allow yourself the permission to NOT beat yourself over the head with the "what if's" and "when's" of life. All I have to do is to pray to my higher power to take away the obsession to drink and my obsession with self. Who ever thought I would get this thing? Thank you God. And I thank all of you.
Member: Irene
Location: Northern Ontario
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 08:16 AM
I am trying to keep it One Day at a Time. Day 16 here. Quit drinking because I was getting ready for surgery (very minor, all is well, but had to go under). I was cursing myself as the date grew nearer for not stopping months ago when I knew this was coming. I was on the "This is the last drunk" bandwagon. The last time I drank I didn't get really drunk, I didn't get a buzz and it wasn't due to lack of effort, and I didn't enjoy it. Decided then was a good time to stop. I too have my weak moments - Husband's Thursday night bowling night. Usually stayed home and got "in the mood" while he was out there throwing his balls around. Saturday just because. Friday if I didn't get drunk on Thursday and Sunday if I didn't get drunk on Saturday. It was taking me 24 hours to recover from a drunk - the body is aging and falling apart. This weekend I took it One Day at a Time. I put off the drink for an hour or two and told myself if I really still wanted it, I could have it. Found out I really didn't want it, so I didn't have it. Carrie congradulations on 90 days. I wish you the best for the next 90 days. Robin way to go on 24 days. For everyone else on here who are in their first year of being sober one day at a time and those days will add up quickly.
Member: Irene
Location: Northern Ontario
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 08:16 AM
I am trying to keep it One Day at a Time. Day 16 here. Quit drinking because I was getting ready for surgery (very minor, all is well, but had to go under). I was cursing myself as the date grew nearer for not stopping months ago when I knew this was coming. I was on the "This is the last drunk" bandwagon. The last time I drank I didn't get really drunk, I didn't get a buzz and it wasn't due to lack of effort, and I didn't enjoy it. Decided then was a good time to stop. I too have my weak moments - Husband's Thursday night bowling night. Usually stayed home and got "in the mood" while he was out there throwing his balls around. Saturday just because. Friday if I didn't get drunk on Thursday and Sunday if I didn't get drunk on Saturday. It was taking me 24 hours to recover from a drunk - the body is aging and falling apart. This weekend I took it One Day at a Time. I put off the drink for an hour or two and told myself if I really still wanted it, I could have it. Found out I really didn't want it, so I didn't have it. Carrie congradulations on 90 days. I wish you the best for the next 90 days. Robin way to go on 24 days. For everyone else on here who are in their first year of being sober one day at a time and those days will add up quickly.
Member: Nadine C.
Location: Cocoa,Florida
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 10:39 AM
Hi. My name is Nadine and I'm an alcoholic. I still have to take it one day at a time,even though it has been almost 22 years of Soberity. Sometimes in a store,the desire to buy a six-pack of beer comes to me and I remember my last drunk and the hell of getting sober. I don't have the desire to drink most times,but occasionaly the thought will still pop in my head.I have been in drinking situations where those around me were drinking and I have to remember why I'm there and what my soberity means to me.I owe my life to God and to AA, for without them,I would be nothing.Today I am for the most part happy, but there are still problems in my life that come up everday and now I have the tools to deal with them. For me This Too Shall Pass, and One Day At A Time are what keep me going in my soberity. Nadine
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 10:54 AM
hi Diane here recovering alcoholic, I had to say that cause that is really what we are this is my Day 28 sober made it through a stressful situation with my adult Son yesterday. <<<<Karen P>>>> thank you for you post and also <<<<Nadine C>>>> for this blew me away to read that two with so many either years for Nadine and months for Karen P are still having to struggle along with thoughts of drinking. It made me realize that this is a life time commitment which I always thought in my head if I made it a year then should not want to drink no more after that but now I read that I was thinking wrong so glad to know others struggle that have so many good days on there belt Diane
Member: Jennifer M
Location: TX
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 12:08 PM
Hi, Jenn M here...still sober. Day 5 today. Tuesdays are very hard for me. My husband works grave yard, midnight to 8am, but on Tuesdays he goes in at 8pm. Tuesdays were my day to start early and I wouldn't have to stress over him seeing me...aaahhhgg! I'm allright for now, but I'm worried about tonight. I'm sure I'll be here chatting with you all. Getting to meetings is not easy because I do not have a sitter for my three boys.. I can do this though. I've been good so far! I'll be hugging my BB tonight though! Thank God I can laugh. Thanks for letting me vent. God Bless to all, chat later!
Member: Jenn M
Location: TX
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 12:10 PM
Oh, I also wanted to say, Nadine, you really inspire me. 22 years..WOW! God Bless you, and thank you for posting on this sight.
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 02:13 PM
Hi, Stacy, 16 days. Feeling overwhelmed and confused by major emotions. Over analyzing myself, my life, my marriage, my parenting etc. Etc. That kind of stress always caused me to turn to drinking for relief. My good friend (many years sober and in AA) advises me that I need to take one day at a time. Do not think past today. Today I will not avoid my life and run from my problems. Today I will not take the first drink. Today I will work to be honest, to be a good Mom, to be a good friend. It does break huge obstacles into bite size pieces for me. This is by far the most difficult thing I've done...facing my life on life's terms. I thank God for helping me to do that one day at a time. Blessings to all.
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 02:44 PM
way to go Jennifer you can do it we just have to take one day at a time and trust in our Higher Power and pray when any temtations come around. I found a Alanon chat group and I also need that for my Son and for me I find a open chat is a good thing also but this board is great. many enspiring people here <<<Stacy>>>one day at a time 28 days here and it seems to be getting better every day Diane
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 03:37 PM
Hi--Marsha here--Yes, one day at a time and reading all of your posts here. I didn't ever have the wildest dream that people that I have never met would help me to get over this obsession with alcohol. But I am. The biggest lesson that I am learning is what a possitive impact staying sober has on my relationship with my family. Another thing that makes me carry on is that I would rather have a clear head in the morning more than I want a drink. I want more days behind me that were sober days and that I can be accountable for. I have ten days now and I admire you that have lots more time than me and the ones with less--well if I can do it , so can you. I will always give God the credit. Thanks for listening.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: April 22, 2003
Time: 05:16 PM
((Robin)) I'll be looking for your post, good share. ((Dee)) Please come on in and join us, nothing to lose and your so worth it. I see such good sobriety posted on this page, I am humbled, thank you, I do need it. HOPE for ((Everyone)) janbbparis@yahoo.com
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 05:05 AM
Good morning everyone--Marsha from Mich--alcoholic. Today is eleven days for me. I am thankful to God for this and to the knowledge that I have gained from you and reading portions of the Big Book that I have downloaded. One day at a time helps me to keep it simple and I have only begun to work the steps. Please someone give me some information if you can--I have been having hangover type headaches every morning when I wake up. Do any of you have this problem? I feel awake and alert but I can't quite figure this one out. Thanks for listening and God bless you all.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 06:26 AM
9 days sober and what a great feeling to be able to get up in the morning with a clear head, the sun is shining today and I'm looking out of the window and thinking to myself , will I go and wash my car, I cant remember ever feeling like this! The sun is not only shining our side but in my heart to. Marsha I cant say I expererience the head aches type feelings that you are having , probably beacuse I have back trouble so am on permanent pain relief drugs, hope someone can explain for you. One day at a time.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 06:29 AM
9 days sober and what a great feeling to be able to get up in the morning with a clear head, the sun is shining today and I'm looking out of the window and thinking to myself , will I go and wash my car, I cant remember ever feeling like this! The sun is not only shining our side but in my heart to. Marsha I cant say I expererience the head aches type feelings that you are having , probably beacuse I have back trouble so am on permanent pain relief drugs, hope someone can explain for you. One day at a time.
Member: Maggie
Location: IL
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 08:29 AM
Hi all, Maggie here. Alcoholic. My first two months of sobriety were a living hell. The obsession to drink would hit me like a truck. I hung on by a hair. I could do nothing but go to meetings, sometimes two or three a day. Then one day I realized the obsession was gone! By DOING ANYTHING IT TOOK TO STAY SOBER, my higher power whome I choose to call God had done for me what I COULD NOT DO! All of the sudden it came to me, I had a new life. See, if I was to stop drinking everything had to change. Who likes change? It wasn't a matter of "Oh God, I have to go to another meeting", it just was. The coice that I now have was simple for me, stop drinking or die. So to everyone who thinks they can do it alone, power to you. I CANT! The people around us don't like change either. I don't think they want us to stay drunks, they are afraid too! That's not to say we should be doormats, but I have learned to pick and choose what is really worth my effort to confront. See, it's all about us! Nobody else! If I don't like whats going on around me, it's always because I am taking other peoples inventory instead of my own. It's a beautiful day today, I choose to stay sober, JUST FOR TODAY! God bless all, Maggie other meeting
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Akron OH
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 08:39 AM
Found this website just yesterday- and thank goodness I did! Although I didn't sleep much last night due to reading everyones comments, it is well worth it. Thanks to everyone for sharing all thoughts and feelings. This is only my 15th day of sobriety and it's so tough. I feel as though I'm doing "this" for everyone other than myself. At my 2nd AA meeting yesterday I had a wonderful lady tell me that's a normal feeling, but down the road I'll realize I'm really doing this for myself. If that's true, I'll be here to see my 3 girls marry and be able to love my grandchildren- that's worth staying sober for, right? After staying sober for 5 years, then drinking for the past 3 years- I can do it again- I just hope the desire to "numb" the pains of life go away- I want to do this!
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Akron OH
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 08:53 AM
Stephanie Y from OH- To Marsha- we're just about the same days sober and I wanted to help you with your question about your "headaches". This is my (I think) 10th time giving "IT" up, and the hangover type headaches are hard- I used to think only a drink could take them away-a drink only makes it harder and the headaches worse the next time you quit. Whatever you do- don't take that drink, please- another day or two and they'll be GONE- for good- you'll feel so good and proud of yourself that you made it- just another day or two- really, I've been there. Hang in there!
Member: Tracy
Location: England
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 10:27 AM
((Marsha)) I am 90+ days sober and to suffered really bad headaches, which by the way i never did why drinking, well when i was in treatment, I told my ocuncillor about the headaches and he said, right have you been hit over the head?, and i said no, then he asked if i had some brain disease or injury, I said no, in that case there isonly one thing it could be and that is Anger, the fact I had stopped drinking, had release all the pent up anger my body was riddled with, now if i get a headache i stop and think about whats going on with me. And painkillers are a no no for me, as i was using them to change my mood, now when i think a headache through it goes on its own. tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 12:29 PM
Marsha hi,Diane here, I've also had some headache not bad for me just notice a tight feeling if ever I'm under stress I also drink a lot of cranberry juice which helps our liver to get those poisons out a lot faster, I've not had to take but one day 2 advils I thought it was a flu but now I am beginning to believe it is what you have talked about, kind of a hang over wanting to happen or something maybe it's withdrawals? The good news is that will pass with more time, my husband also got headaches so he thought it was just allergies but I think it's more that we stopped drinking I am as of today 29 days to the good and sober Marsha L I've been going to alaon site that works with some of the things you talked about in your life which I thought of you today when I was reading people's share, it's a live chat kind of hard to get your name in but you just type nick/ Di or what ever nick you chose that is not taken up then I clicked this drop down menu once I got my name working I registered it so no one would get my name here is where it is at if your interested http://www.12stepforums.net/chatroom2.html It also works with our feelings and I have notice there are a lot of recovery A there not sure you have any A's in your family or your parents or just abuse type situation that it helps you to deal with, I've not shared in meetings yet but my nick there is Di_now so let me know they have two meetings a day one early in the morning 8 central time for me and I've read some really good shares that is helping me in my situation take care ((((Hugs)))) Diane
Member: Di B
Location: Oklahoma
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 04:25 PM
Hi Diane back again hey Tracy I am addicted now to the nicotine gum and after reading from a web site someone posted on the other page I am trying to not chew the gum so now I got major tightness wow this is going to be another fun addiction to get off of.
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 05:54 PM
Hi--Marsha here an alcoholic.-- I want to extend my appreciation to all that had some information about these headaches. I learned some good stuff from you. So much hope comes from this website. Everything is such an upward stroke. (Diane) I will check out that forum soon. I probably won't post for awhile. I am going to Florida to help my folks drive back here for the summer. I will be staying sober--one day at a time. Thanks again and peace.
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 06:13 PM
Hi, Stacy, alcoholic. 17 days. Am feeling very low and depressed. haven't been able to get to mtgs due to kid/babysitter complications. Am going to a mtg. tonight. I have a question for you guys about treatment centers. I have learned that my insurance will cover an outpatient program for a limited time. I'm considering it. I need structure and committment right now. I'm so easily thrown off track because I'm a stay at home Mom and my hubby works many hours. I have to get babysitting for everything and that can be difficult, not to mention an expense. Does anyone have any information for or against an outpatient program? thanks for your help.
Member: Liz B.
Location: Virginia
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 06:29 PM
Hi! Liz here,alcoholic. I keep it green one day at a time. Saw a bumper sticker that said,"You do the hokie pokie. You turn yourself around. That's what its all about." Pray each day! AA works!
Member: Liz B.
Location: Virginia
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 06:30 PM
Hi! Liz here,alcoholic. I keep it green one day at a time. Saw a bumper sticker that said,"You do the hokie pokie. You turn yourself around. That's what its all about." Pray each day! AA works!
Member: Emma
Location: California
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 07:31 PM
Hi. Emma here, and I am an alcoholic. I have not had a drink since Easter Sunday. It has been good and bad. I have the headaches too! I am glad I found this site. Reading everyones posts has really helped me today. Thanks to you all
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 09:23 PM
((Stacy)) Stephanie- 15 days- I too feel low and depressed- how can we not? We have been dependent on a terrible drug and our body doesn't understand the "neglect". I too have 3 small children, a husband gone from 8am till midnight everyday and finding someone to watch the kids is not only hard but very scary! In Ohio we have a Sat. night AA meeting called Family, Friends and Fun- the whole family can attend- I havn't been yet- I'm planning to this Sat. but I've heard it's great for all ages- kind of like AA, Alanon, Alateen all combined- check into that- it should help everyone- that's what I'm hoping for anyway. I'm thinking-ok- just one day at a time- but MAKE IT til Sat. for sure- this meeting might just make "IT" a little easier to deal with- Good Luck:) and thanks for letting me know this depression feeling is "normal". As far as the out patient tx, you are helped- but the AA meetings are so much more flexible and more of them are available- you have to have an appt. with the out patient and I found with the babysitter complications- it was a little stressful- and God knows we don't need anymore stress in our lives right now! Take care
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 09:44 PM
Made it another day! so happy to say good-night with a clear head - say a prayer - Tomorrow will be day 16 for me! GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!!!
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 23, 2003
Time: 09:53 PM
good for you stephanie I'm day 29 tomorrow will be my 30 day, good luck to all. Marsha L God be with you on your trip maybe you can hit the site on someone else computer? we will miss you. way to go Emma about bed time here for me well another hour but I'm kind of tired night all Diane
Member: Nadine C,
Location: Cocoa, Florida
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 05:36 AM
Nadine,here and I'm a alcoholic. I have to say this as each day I remind myself that I'm an alcoholic with one day at a time soberity. Its been a few 24 hours,which add up to almost 22 years,but to you new comers,I still remember my first few days of soberity and like one old timer use to say in meetings,whoever got up first today, has the most soberity. It doesn't matter how much time we have in the program,its still ONE DAY AT A TIME.So all of you newcomers keep coming back with your post. I really enjoy reading all of your post. Was up late tonight and have been reading all of your posting and its now after 5 in the morning,I can sleep late as I'm disabled,and when I drank,I never worried about what time I went to bed, as I usually drank until I passed out. The group that I started in,in AA which is still my home group,they had open meetings on Saturday night and you could bring your spouse and children. I'll never forget,the first meeting that I took my kids to,my son which was 8 years old at the time,saw tje new cars in the parking lot and said Mom I didn't know drunks drove new cars. He used the word drunk instead of alcholic as that is what his Dad called me. I have so many friends in AA and back then when him and his sister would be with me and I would run into someone in public, they would always say afterwards, Mom do you know them from AA and I had to explain to them the anomity part of the program. They learned alot about AA by going to meetings with me. Today my daughter is addicted to prescription drugs and she is in deniel and keeps saying she will quit tomorrow and we all know how that goes when you are in denial. I'm too close to her to help,and I have to keep my own soberity so all I can do is accept her as she is, and keep praying for her. Thanks for letting me share and I look forward to reading tomorrow's postings.
Member: Patty B
Location: Austin TX
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 05:51 AM
Patty, alcoholic. Just claiming my seat. I have to make a live meeting again. I dread that so much. The only one I've been to was filled with smokers and men who apparently were court-ordered to attend. I know there are other meetings, with different people and non smoking meetings too. I know it's my stinking thinking that keeps me from going to those meetings, it's an excuse to avoid getting a sponsor. Well today is day 1. And thanks for this site and everyone's posts. *hugs*
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 05:53 AM
Day 10 sober. Day hours never seem to be much of a problem for me, night time was my drinking time so I replace this with a meeting, oh how tkankfull I am for them, my spirits lift when I walk inot the fellowship and when I leave the rooms the insane thoughts I have previous to going in have left me.Tonight is an open meeting and I am taking my mum with me, such a gentle soul she is and the heart break I have caused her over the years is unforgivable in my eyes, she said to me the other day "I have lost my daughter" her daughter is coming back slowly, a day at a time , thankyou for all your posts, its help me greatly.
Member: Marsha L
Location: Michigan
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 06:38 AM
(Diane) Thirty days have September, APRIL, June and November! YOU MADE YOUR MONTH!!! CONGRATULATIONS!! You did it one day at a time. (Patti B, Lyn, Nadine, Stephanie, Emma, Liz, Stacy--) Hang in there with me--Today is day twelve-- a good number. Love and peace.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 07:51 AM
((Di B)) Thanks for the vote of confidence- every little bit helps, huh? Well- I woke up today- day 16 - here we go again. I'll try to hit a meeting today, but honestly I think this site and all these posts help me more than anything- you are all wonderful- have a great day ((Marsha)) Thank you for your support, as we're on about the same "time-line" here- it's tough, but from previous experience I can tell you- it is SO well worth it- stay strong:)
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 08:04 AM
((Tracy)) Just read your post in coffee pot- wow- I can relate to all that you said- you're doing a great job- keep it up:)
Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:18 AM
((Stephanie)) glad you could relate to my post, seems to confirm, what i fear, that i am an alcoholic LOL! :~) tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:29 AM
Diane here Alcoholic, Day 30 YES! so happy to make that day I want to dance a (JIG) I found my old 30 day coin and have it right here with me to look at. Yesterday was a down day for me I just had the blues but I knew that would happen I just have to keep my focus on my recovery thank you Marsha L for your kind words of support. way to go stephanie 16 days you go girl. all of you are doing so well we have to make it simple and take it one day at a time. The Sun is out today here in Oklahoma so will for sure get out and walk and I always pray as I walk. My Son is still working it's day 3 of his job and he seems to be calming down and not telling me off now that he is keeping himself busy in his recovery he is a recovering addict so for him his happy part of his brain are really shot right now. I heard his lawyer say once you over tax that part of your system it can never be recovered but I have faith in God that he will be healed and again be able to love and have good days of joy in his life. My Daughter has a bulimic problem and she is now at a good weight but I'm so afraid she will die one day over the toilet throwing up but I can not help her I can only pray for her, I want my children to be happy but I finally realized I can not make them see how destructive all this is to there bodies I read a lot and I tell them what I read but they have to see it for themselves this for me is very hard and scary that I could loose either one of them to (drugs) and (bulimic behavior)
Member:
Location:
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:32 AM
((Tracy)) Definatly (unfortunatly) an alcoholic- I hate the fear, the guilt, the shame- it seems so unfair that I can't be like most "normal" people, you know- go out, have a drink, come home and not think of it again- well, just our luck I guess- what a disease!
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:33 AM
((Tracy)) Forgot to "sign" last message
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:49 AM
((Diane)) CONGRATULATIONS!!! 30 days- what a terrific accomplishment. You are showing your children what a truly wonderful mom you are- have them read some of these posts- especially the ones dedicated to you- this may help them to realize the great feeling you can get when you take good care of yourself- we only live once- take one day at a time (sometimes minutes at a time) - enjoy your sunshine and your walk- I'll do the same today and pray for you AND your children over and over again:)
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 10:55 AM
Diane here again, ((((Stephanie Y)))) thanks you so much for the prayers and love you made me tear up but good tears not bad ones thanks again Diane
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 11:55 AM
Hi everyone. Kim here, alcoholic. Welcome to those who are new or just coming back. This Program works and the changes that will occur in your life as the result of your sobriety are well worth the work and effort in early sobriety. Please Keep Coming Back. Now... One Day At A Time is one of the useful tools that the program offers to help us STAY sober for another 24 hours. When I find my mind racing and projecting into the future about things that haven't happened yet, I try to focus on the day I am in - THIS 24 hour period. My first sponsor used to pull me back from the brink of mental collapse in early sobriety by saying, "Kim, is it happening today? No? Well, why don't we get through today first and let tomorrow handle itself." Such calming words - such invaluable advice!!! How can we focus on staying sober TODAY when we are worrying about what's going to happen tomorrow or next week? We can't - or at least not well. So... One Day At A Time, for me, means putting one sober foot infront of another sober foot and keeping the focus on what's happening now - today - and keeping the priority first and foremost my sobriety. Thanks for helping me stay sober today.
Member: rick g
Location:
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 12:45 PM
Rick here. I'm an alcoholic back at day 1. I haven't been serious about stopping, just know that I should and I want to. Probably the longest I've been in a long time, years, without getting drunk is two weeks. Had a binge last night, took that first drink, then finished 2 bottles of wine over the course of the evening. Going to my first live meeting and was looking online for local schedules (found them) when I ran across this site, anything that helps.... I hate this feeling of lack of control, even worse admitting to that lack of control, but there you have it. Hopefully expressing the problem here and in meetings will help me get my life back.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 01:00 PM
((Diane)) You are so welcome!!! I know my kids mean EVERY SINGLE thing to me in the world- I can tell yours do too- that is exactly why we must keep up the good that we are doing- in order to help them through their tough times- ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!Be good- XOXOXO
Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 02:17 PM
I do know that I didn't drink every day because if i started i never knew where i would wake up, and if infact i would wake up, it got so silly in the end that i use to have to get up and check my med cabinet the morning after to see if i hadn't taken an overdose, as i always felt i had because of the dark feeling drink would take me to, it would start of really exciting and then turn on me, but i keep thinking it will be better next time, i won't let myself do it again, or when laying in hospital with doctors asking why i had taken my latest overdose i couldn't bloody tell them, and i still didn't connect this to drink, ithought i drank because i felt down, and would not blame the drink only myself, i always protected the drink, but it didn't protect me in the end, i think writing this helps me accept how powerless i was. tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 02:18 PM
your right Stephanie they need a sober Mom, my children are grown so that is why I say I have no control to help them now in fact my Daughter won't write me back but that is her problems that keep her from talking to me. She knows what she needs to do but don't want to do it. One day at a time for this alcoholic to stay sober and show a good example to my children. My Daughter and my Son In-Law both could not believe how I have changed for the better, the old Diane would get upset and says things and I was not good toward my Grandchildren I was always getting on them about cleaning the house and stuff. Now I find I just enjoy being around them so much better and I am so much more calmer now I just need to let go and let God handle my childrens problems and just love them
Member: Leah P.
Location: Minnesota
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 02:52 PM
One day at a time. When I first stumbled into AA 13 years ago, I had no clue what that meant. today, after many vain attempts to prove to myself (and others) that I could drink like normal people, I know what that means. I don't have to be sober for a month, a year, or a decade. JUST TODAY! and that gives me strength and power that I never had before. I like to complicate everything, and staying sober one day at a time is a snap, provided that I am in fit spiritual condition. I have been sober almost 11 months, and they have been the greatest in my life. The circles of AA have blessed me in ways I have never thought possible. and it's only cause I get down on my knees in the morning and ask my HP for another sober day, and thank him in the evening for that sober day. and if the day goes bas, I can always start it over. Taking life one day at a time has allowed me to sieze the moment and LIVE IN THE NOW!. Rather on dwell on the past or fret about the future, I can concentrate on what I need to do today to remain sober. Thank you for your time, Leah leahped@hotmail.com
Member: Emma
Location: California
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 07:27 PM
Making it through day 4. Still feeling like I have the flu but so excited to wake up in the morning clear headed. I went to an online meeting last night that kept me on course and these posts have helped too. Congrats to all those making it through the day without drinking.
Member: Jan B.
Location: New York not Paris :)
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 07:36 PM
Hello All - Hope your just hear one day at a time. ((Jan BB.)) What will it take. Good question - I ask myself that daily. I made my quit date so you know for Sunday. Saturday is my birthday. I decided that my 39th would be a good day - to roll into the 40's sober. I think getting older has me saying when - do you want to wake up old, drunk, tired and alone? No I don't. Maybe I shouldn't post because it isn't my one day at a time date. I decided on a quit date. I don't know if that is the norm or ok, but it was my choice. What is my plan. Well good question, and to write freely, quite frankly I don't know. I do know that my school work will be less now and I will have some time to go to meetings. Working and going to school full time has put an unbelieveable pressure on me. I am almost done and feel I have some time to devote to this. I do know it requires time, time to spend reading, going to meetings, meditating, praying, all of which I feel I don't have any of now. My boyfriend feels that the stress of my life for the past five years lead me to drink. I have been going to night school for five years to get my degree in teaching has lead me to drink more, but I told him there are many people who do this without becoming alcoholics. Something lead me over the edge, pressure maybe, but the desire was always there. I drank at an early age, there were times in my life that I didn't drink at all. In my early 20's I didn't drink much at all. Then in my early 30's something took hold. My life didn't turn out the way I had planned. I didn't have those kids with a big house, and a meaning full job. I wanted a divorce from my ex-husband - it went downward from there. When I moved out - wine became my new friend. It masked everything. The pain, the hurt, the feelings of failure. I don't know how I have managed to get a master's degree in the mean time. But that was my plan, and I stuck with it, studying, drinking, the pain. I felt if I had a degree and I could at least accomplish one of my goals - that was good. I know as you all do that I won't be an effective hungover teacher. I realized that teaching will never be meaningful if I am hungover. I am doing a disservice to myself and my students. I teach now and know the days I am hungover are just awful. Now for my plan - I don't know just yet. I know that Saturday is so close and I just don't know. I know I plan on visiting this site. I have some time this summer to attend meetings. I know that I need more help than when I tried before. It didn't work for me being all alone with this. So I would have to answer I don't know. I plan on praying everyday, I plan on devoting myself to this site, I plan on really working on this. I know this is hard. One thing I have always done in the past is set a date for the future not the day. This is a one day at a time thing. That I do know. My prayers for everyone struggling with this disease. It brings you to depths you never thought you would travel. I have to say good-bye to my friend wine or anything alcohol. It won't be easy - I know this. I have come to a place that I have no choice, it is either to go deeper into this hole, I know it only gets deeper. I have had enough. Thanks for listening everyone, I have enjoyed reading your posts of one day at a time, and your accomplishments.
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 07:57 PM
Hi JanB sounds like you are making a commitment Date to stop drinking so that is good, why not get a head start and stop tonight then you would have more days. Just a thought, you are being honest with your self and that is so important in our recovery to be honest with ourselves about our problems. You can do it Di (30 days today) Sober God Bless
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 24, 2003
Time: 08:55 PM
What a beautiful day it was here in Ohio today- the sun was shining, the birds were singing- I can't remember the last time I enjoyed taking my daughters to the park and not worrying about how soon I'll be home to have that next drink- how sick I feel when I think of the lost time- It does help to keep me strong now though- I don't want to miss out on anymore of my girls- they must have felt so good today- We all made it through day #16 and I promise to make it through day #17 too!!! "One day at a time" that's all we can do- hang in there everyone- sobriety feels so much better than that "black hole" God Bless- have a good night
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 02:13 AM
Stacy, alcoholic, 18 days! ((Stephanie)))!!!! I am finding joy with my children each day as well. Took them to the library and just marveled at their little faces as their eyes scanned the shelves! I definitely feel as if I can slow down and savor moments with my kids now, whereas before I was grossly preoccupied (or hungover, or just plain depressed). I also feel so sad for having missed out of so much the past 4 years. Today I worked very hard on taking it easy. Not stressing out. One day at a time. I'm finding that staying away from the drink is not my problem. It's coping with my head and the obsessing in my mind. I am grateful for this site. Thanks to all.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 07:10 AM
Stephanie here, day 17 today! Woke up throughout the night with the "God Grant Me the Serenity" prayer, wierd! ((Stacy)) Yesterday seemed to be such a short day- when I was drinking they all were so long, so "drug" out- when I got home from the park and it was almost 8pm, I couldn't believe it! The saying "time goes fast when you're having fun" really is true. I hate the obsessive thoughts- I've been diagnosed with several things and OCD is one of them. I take anxiety meds for this, but nothing REALLY REALLY helps. What thoughts and feelings are you having the hardest time coping with? I also feel terrible guilt thinking back to how I was preoccupied, hungover, depressed- it's very embarrasing for me as I know I am a wonderful mother- I just have to stay away from that drink! Came across a saying last night- "Just for today... I will not give in... To what brought me here In the first place..." Sounded good to me!!! Good-morning to everyone- lets all "take it one day at a time"- again- Good luck:)
Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 12:00 PM
One day at a time? How about one hour at a time? Some days I got so bad, wanting to drink and not wanting to drink with almost equal determination, that I had to take it 5 minutes at a time. Eventually I would find myself in bed for the night thanking God for keeping me sober. Thanking God for taking me out of myself and focusing on the gifts in my life - my family. Like ((Stephanie and Stacey)) I find that I appreciate my kids so much more when I am focusing on today. The kitchen will get cleaned eventually, and the laundry will get done when we are out of clean clothes, but the urgency to build a fort out of blankets strung over the kitchen chairs, that is now! Be in the now. Peace
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 02:02 PM
hi Diane here day 31 sober, last night thought I had the flu again even a fever but today I feel good again and glad to be sober and clear mind. Diane
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 02:31 PM
JEEZ!!! I thought everyone left me there for a while! Don't stay away so long next time! Glad your feeling better Diane, what makes us feel that way every so often, I wonder? That was me this morning- I thought, oh no- I can't feel this way after feeling so much better yesterday. And Rich, you are so right- an hour at a time is often what I take- 24 is so long! Whatever it takes to do it, that's what we have to do! take care
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 04:27 PM
19 days. Even though life is difficult sober...it is NOTHING compared to managing (not successfully) to drink, lie, coordinate my schedule, sneak and hide etc. etc. (((Stephanie))), I understand how the days used to be long and now they are shorter. I used to think that the day would never end, that I had SOOOOOO (read melodramatically :-) many things to do and there was NOOOO way I could possible do them all. Now, not only am I getting more done, but I'm enjoying my kids rather then getting annoyed with them. I too believe I'm a good Mom and now I have the opportunity to be even better. Thank God. The trouble I'm having coping with is my thoughts, feeling, emotions running wild. Yesterday was pretty good, but today I'm working through sadness and an overall depressed feeling. I feel guilty that my husband has to deal with me and my problem. One minute he's supportive and trying to understand and the next minute he's angry that I've done this to our family. I feel like I need to "DO" something to fix myself and get to the place where I'm happy. I know I need more AA meetings. I'm just a rollercoaster. But I'm not drinking and I know that this ride will end if I go to AA, get a sponsor, work the steps and take one day at a time. Ugh! Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 06:14 PM
Day 11 for me,went to AA meeting this afternoon, I walk in that room and my sprits lift, no more of this loneliness when I wake up in the mornings and the thoughts of not wishing to be on this earth . I believe for me my higher power is the fellowship in AA , I seem to be given strength from them, has any one else ever experienced these feelings ? Tonight has not been to easy, not a day at a time but ten mins at a time, I have sat here at my pc desk and watched the clock from 7. 30 pm unitll 10 pm when the litle shop along the road closed.This was the place that I that I would go and buy my bozze nightly . I'm back to one day at a time now and gratefull that I can go to bed now and so proud that I never lifted that fist drink today, I wish you all so well in your recovery, we all help each other, thankyou for all the posts
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 06:24 PM
wow sounds like stephanie and Stacy are both going through my blues wow is this not a roller coaster ride or what? one day I'm aching all over and the next I am on a high cloud then a drop down and sadness comes on me I know this girl needs a meeting bad. My Daughter is so messed up in her thinking and this upsets me when I hear from my Son In-law that she is going out on him now. It makes me want a drink but I must resist this bad temptation and stay my 31 days sober. I know what your saying Stephanie I sometimes want someone to be on this site and then no one writes and then I feel lost for a while but I have to remind myself that they will post soon lol
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 07:29 PM
hi Diane here again, I'm sitting here in front of my PC feeling nuts inside, boy this day should be better but I am having some problems right now, guess I need to make myself go for a walk and pray
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 07:37 PM
Stephanie, 17 days-oh everyone- why us? What did we do to deserve this disease? ((Stacy)) It really is a disease. As hard as it is for us, our spouse, our children to accept- it really is something we had no control over- but now our families see us taking control- they should be supportive of us- this is a dark and lonely road and we need support more than anything in the world. My husband said so many terrible things when I drank (I can actually remember a few) and he still says some things that aren't terribly nice, but you know what? I'm doing this for myself and my 3 girls- I can't let him drag me down anymore. We can't take on any more guilt Stacy- don't depress yourself more by remembering the past- (not easy for me to say) look at yourself NOW- look at what you have accomplished- do you know how many people would love to say 19 days? ME INCLUDED!!! You are doing something to "fix" yourself- you're sober! And you're aloud, there is nothing "wrong" with feeling depressed- but you made it through another day! THANK GOD IT'S ALMOST BEDTIME (LOL) "You" did not "do this" to your family- the alcohol did- and "you" put an end to it! Be proud of yourself for that- you deserve to feel so good for this- please don't beat yourself up- you could not control something for a time- but you are NOW- that's what counts! UGH is right!!! But this rollercoaster will end, you're right- we're just early in this yet. Stay srong! YOU and your children are so worth it:)
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 07:44 PM
Diane- I am so sorry that you are going through these problems with your kids- not at all what you need right now- but you are so strong! It's almost bedtime- just think- 32 tomorrow!!! Take care of yourself- you've gone through so much to get where you are today- stay strong- XOXOXO
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 07:50 PM
Lyn- MOVE YOUR PC!!! That is torture! I don't even leave my house without my 3 girls, my husband, my friend- someone in tow that would never allow me to touch that stuff- the temptation is too overwhelming. Maybe once I can say 31 days like Diane, I'll trust myself again- but for now I have to accept that it is too easy to mess up again- 12 days tomorrow Lyn-Stay strong- take care- and MOVE THAT PC!!!:)
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 08:31 PM
Thanks Stephanie but I still struggle to not ask for booze, (See all I need to do is ask and my husband will bye it for me) that is why it is very hard for me. I just have to keep my mind on my goals and not ask
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 09:05 PM
Diane- that has to be so hard- does your husband drink? You are even stronger than I knew! My husband would kill if I ever took another drink- (of course- that probably isn't the whole truth because he's said it 10 times before)- but this time I know it's for myself and my kids- so I'm doing it- but how can you handle knowing you can have it, but don't- you are my HERO!
Member:
Location:
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 09:21 PM
Always continue to believe in yourself, your strength, your dreams and you and your family's dreams. You are never powerless unless you allow that to be what you want. Your future you have complete control of and your past you can never change. Why not make effective changes for your future instead of dwelling in what can never be changed? Just a thought.
Member:
Location:
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 09:22 PM
Always continue to believe in yourself, your strength, your dreams and you and your family's dreams. You are never powerless unless you allow that to be what you want. Your future you have complete control of and your past you can never change. Why not make effective changes for your future instead of dwelling in what can never be changed? Just a thought.
Member: stephanie
Location:
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 09:34 PM
diane- who was that?
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: ohio
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 09:49 PM
good night to everyone- God Bless
Member: Marty G
Location: Cowtown
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 10:44 PM
Hello all, Marty here a grateful recovering alcoholic. All your post are good reading. I learn alot about my drinking habits and it's good to know that I'm not flying solo. Hey (Nadine C) what are you doing? This is for early sobriety! lol. Thank you. If it were not for those of you with many days of sobriety who are willing to reach out your hand to us and help us through our initial struggles than there is no AA. As you said your span of sobriety is because you have done it ONE DAY AT A TIME. As I am working my program I listen and try to emulate what oldtimers do. It has worked for you so you must be doing something right, and I want what you have. I have heard from people with lots of sobriety that if I don't pickup that first drink today I don't have to drink tomorrow. How true. So newcomers (myself included) we need to listen to these people and learn what we need to do if we want to be sober and live a good life, One Day At A Time. Thanks for letting me share. Love one another. meg
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 25, 2003
Time: 11:01 PM
Hi Diane here again and it's almost 10 PM and I'm still sober, yes Stephanie my hubby drinks he has not for a few days now and he has stopped for a length of time before but he likes to drink at night and getting me a drink is very tempting for him and sometimes I smell it on him but I want to be sober so bad I am really trying hard this time to stay sober. Don't know who that was who posted below you but they had some good advice. Today is the day to stay sober no matter what thanks and good night all and stay sober one hour at a time Diane ps see you on day 32
Member: Kelly D
Location: north
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 12:38 AM
Something has been bothering me. I couldn't figure out why I needed to drink. Then I read this in a book. " Don't you think they { alcoholics } just want to have a nice peaceful life like the rest of us ?" And then I knew, that was why I drank. Just to have a nice peaceful life like other people. It took away the stress. It took away the worry. It made all seem well in life. Problems were all managable after a drink. There was allways something to be happy about with a drink. Life was ok with a drink. Then came the time to pay the bill for living my "nice peacefull life like other people ". That was 5 years ago. Today my life is nice, just like other people's. It isn't easy but it's nice and now I know why I drank and I don't feel like a loser for it or an idiot , it was just a learning thing that I had to go through. One Day at A Time , drunk. Now, One Day at a Time , sober.
Member: Cec H
Location: Cowtown
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 03:05 AM
Hi all Cec H alkie here. The longer I stay sober the dumber I get. In my first year of sobrity I could tell you what One Day At A time meant and how I used it. Never told myself I couldn't drink because if I had I would of drank. What I did instead was tell myself that I could have that drink at 12 midnight when all three of the hands where on the 12, not a second before and not a second after. What I didn't tell myself was I'd be in bed by 11 sleeping or having coffee with other members after a meeting and that I wouldn't keep any booze in the apartment so I could do a count down if I had a bad day. Now a days I am not sure how to live one day at a time. It's my wife's birthday next week, but I got her birthday present, two months ago, got a speeding ticket a week ago, stoped by the courthouse to day to put in my not guilty plea, so the police donn't come knocking next month. I do today what make's tomorrow easy
Member: Nadine C,
Location: Cocoa, Florida
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 05:15 AM
Hello Marty G. and everybody else.Tonight I was in a tempting situation and there was a guy there real drunk,the thought of drinking occured to me, but thanks to this guy,but for the grace of God, and not forgetting my last drunk and the hell of getting sober,I could be that guy.Alcohol is cunning and baffelling like the big book says,and it doesn't matter how much time you have in the program ,the temptation to drink can come when you least expect it,after all, we are alcoholics and its natural for us to want to drink,as we have a disease. I just thank God that today with the AA program and the tools, I can think the drink through,and not drink.Its constant vigligance to not drink ONE DAY AT A TIME.And I'm so thankful for my soberity and life today,even the bad days when I'm down and depressed.My heart goes out to all of you early in soberity,for I know how hard it is to stay sober,and I haven't forgot my early days in soberity and getting sober, even though it has been 22 years for me, I can understand and appreciate reading the postings at this site, and I enjoy meeting with you each day. You help me keep it fresh.Di and Stephanie hang in there and the days will turn into years.
Member: Mike S
Location: Mid-Michigan
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 06:55 AM
Good morning all. I am Mike and am an alcoholic.Ihave been "coming around the tables" about 40 mos.,but have only been sober 19. I spent first 20 or so mos. in and out of sobriety because I spent so much time questioning whether I was really an alcoholic.I was a relatively high bottom drunk ie. still had wife and kids, good paying career, no incarceration. The big turning point ocurred--when I no longer merely admitted my alcoholism but truly "accepted" it. Did two stints in rehab in a 3 mos. period at behest of wife and friends looking for spiritualiy and realized still hadn't got past step one. Today despite The fact I am still a good example of self-will run rampant and very capable of screwing up my life--I no longer question my alcoholism---It does not matter why we cannot drink or how unfair it may be--I just cannot drink. Today I appreciate the family and the grace of G-d that though I was in a nose dive I did not actually have to crash and burn (at least so far). Today "SOBRIETY IS PRIORITY", serenity etc. is still questionable, but in time I am told I will get it if I keep coming back. When folks here on-line or in f2f meetings tell us to keep coming back, they really do mean it. I always tell myself first to awake today has been sober the longest. Tomorrow i am going to get up a little earlier. Love to you all in this struggle for life. DON'T PICK_UP,GO TO MEETINGS AND READ THE LITERATURE"
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:11 AM
Stephanie, day 18!!! Good morning everyone! OK- now that I wake up is when everyone posts everything I can relate too- just give me a little time to wake up- have my coffee- love my kids- then I'll be able to think (LOL) - ((Diane)) YEAH!!! Day 32 :)
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:18 AM
Stephanie, day 18 - HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAN B IN NEW YORK!!! Last yucky day TODAY, Remember? Day 1 TOMORROW!!! Good Luck- hope to see your first post soon XOXO
Member: T-Bone
Location: S. FL (raining)
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:37 AM
"Roller Coaster Rides" I was always on a roller coaster ride during my drinking days and when I got scared I got drunk, now the roller coaster rides are more as they were when I was a kid, "they still scare me, but I know they will end, I know I will be alright and at times they are kind of fun". Everybody has them, we drunks are just learning how to deal with them. So sit back, try to enjoy the ride and above all else "LEARN"! God Bless!
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 11:08 AM
Diane here day 32, sober, thanks Stephanie, I have a busy day today and will be gone till tonight but will for sure get back on and read all the post. My Daughter just wrote me and told me I was a sick woman and I have to admit that hurt I'm tempted to start smoking again, I was just trying to help her with advice but I guess I was trying to control her like she said, I don't want to see her with no husband if she keeps messing up and yes she has been drinking so that worries me also. Son stayed out all night so also concerned about him anyway will stay sober no matter what Di
Member: John K
Location: Philadelphia PA
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 12:22 PM
Hi all, John, alcoholic. Welcome to all newcomers! The longer I stay sober, the simpler things get. To me, the central lesson of my life is about control, and how little control I have at this very moment. (this is why I need a Higher Power to take care of me--not having control is a scary thought for an alcoholic!) My experience has shown me that I can only do one thing at a time, and I can only exist from one moment to the next--I can't live tomorrow, or even the next five seconds, I can only live right now. When I was new and tended to get depressed over my situation, my sponsor gave me a prayer to use: "God, take away my alcoholism right now!" Not asking, but telling God to do it. Still works today.
Member: Nadine C,
Location: Cocoa, Florida
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 12:47 PM
Hello Di B. and Stephanie and Marty. Its a beautiful day here and congradulations to you all that have stayed sober another day.I'm happy to be sober today and to be able to read all your postings is like going to a meeting.When I get all whacked out I have to remember what my sponser said, to get back to basics and do the first step over,and this brings me back to reality. For you out there that have 30 days or less, good luck to you, for I am sober 22 years and it was one day at a time and each day turns to months and then years, its how I have to still take my soberity.The years don't count,just that I am sober today and with the help of God I'll be sober tomorrow.Hope you don't mind me posting,and yes I know its called early soberity,but I have to keep it green and fresh to contuine my soberity,with one day at a time and you all help me.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 05:06 PM
I'm chris, I'm an alcoholic/addict...great sight--great topic for me...I just took a white chip after several years of sobriety...trying to live one day at a time is an important thing for me today...Today I am having a rough day, and on these days, i usually project into the future and "awfulize" about it.. i am getting a bit better...but it is good to hear what everyone else has to say about it...It is so important to live now...yesterday is gone ...tomorrow never happens.. the worst usually doesn't happen..why ruin the now by fretting over the "awfuls" that never happen..? In fact for this alcoholic, the more I think about hte "awfuls" happening , the more likely they are to happen...I find that thinking positively about the future creates a better future/...Part of the answer to living in the now for me is forgiving myself for the past... I think that I "deserve " the bad things that are or might happen to me because of the mistakes I have made in the past...even the most recent past as this morning...what a warped view of life...A.A. has taught me that I am forgiven and can go on with my head held high...I am working my 4th step again and that is the answer to my cleaning house and being forgiven for my " awful" past....thank God for this program...My challenge is to make it a program of action rather than just talking about it...Thanks to all of you for your shares...SO good to read them all...Meetings are the key for me...Thanks for letting me share...
Member: Patty B
Location: Austin TX
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 05:09 PM
It's day 3! Yippee! Gorgeous day, went to my other 12 step meeting this morning, and an AA meeting last night. One day at a time, sweet HP..My life is so much better today than yesterday, and that day better than the day before! I am powerless over events and alcohol and pretty much anything, and that's not easy to say when you're a control freak like me! But for today, I am doing the next right thing. That meant that I bought plenty of diet soda's, have all the tools in place to help me through an abstinent and sober day. Nothing's buffering anything for me. I'm giving myself permission to nap as I go through detox, since it's the weekend. I had wanted to make all these plans,to stay busy, but taking care of myself one day at a time for me today means just to relax. Let go..let my HP steer. Thanks again for being here, y'all!
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 05:41 PM
Stephanie 18 days- Marsha, Tracy, Stacy, Jan B, Jennifer, Lyn, Emma, Patty, Rick and Rich- where are you- how are you? Let us know- we miss you and your posts:)
Member: Stacy
Location: West Coast
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 06:17 PM
Hi friends. Day 20 for me. I've been busy and haven't had a moment to post for a bit. I'm doing pretty well today (and yesterday). Made it to only one meeting this week. I need to go to 2 or 3. I'm planning my week and hiring the sitters this weekend, so that I will be at 2 for sure next week. Seeking sponsor. Today I feel that I'm part of the solution and not the problem. I'm working VERY hard on acceptance. Page 417 (I think it's a newer edition) in my BB (Acceptance was the answer) daily. Today I accept that my husband will not be home helping me and spending time with the kids. He is a police officer with crazy hours. It's hard on me. I grew up with expectations of how parenting would be and it's soooo not the way "I" expected. I feel like a single Mom with a paycheck. Better than being a single Mom without one (God Bless all women in this category!), but frankly it sucks doing this kid thing alone. I've been angry, lonely and even bored. Wine, Beer and Jack D. became my buddies. They took it all away...and eventually they began to take me away...far away from my family! I will learn and I will deal with my life today. This disease WILL NOT take me like it took my Mom. Hugs to all of you. Congrats again Di!!!
Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 06:33 PM
Evening ((All)), I am 100days sober, and tonight for some supid reason i decided to visit one of my old drinking friends house, I sat there most of the evening very quiet, not the loud drunk person i use to be, but all through the evening i kept repeating a line someone else posted today, and it kept me sober, i have just come home and left every one there getting merry, even my husband and kids are still there, but i had to ask myself why am i sitting here, i have visited long enough there is nothing here for me now, no decent conversation because everybody is drink talking, so i knew if i don't leave now, my strenght is diminishing and i am responsible for not taking that first drink, i have been and i have survived, but it was a silly test to put myself through, I think i am expecting to much at so short a time, but it was nice being the first to leave, i felt like everyone was quiet disappointed that i didn;t entertain them the way i use to, but hey at least i can live with myself tomorrow and i am sure not one of them would have phoned to ask how i am if i had drunk, at the end of the day, us AA'ers only have true companionship in each other, I have found that out, how grateful i am for the fellowship, and showing me the real meaning of Love!! tracy.v@ntlworld.com
Member: cb
Location: lorain
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:44 PM
HELLO today , working to day keeping it all in crazy head my friend came over today . Workin on working was yeserday today is today . yeserday is in the passed dust to dust then was done .Today one day at time is say god bless all people getting the proper teat one person with resect to get help I learned what a good familay I GOT TODAY AND THE wrong from WRIGHT to day but today if you said what due you got see pass it on
Member: cb
Location: lorain
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:45 PM
HELLO today , working to day keeping it all in crazy head my friend came over today . Workin on working was yeserday today is today . yeserday is in the passed dust to dust then was done .Today one day at time is say god bless all people getting the proper teat one person with resect to get help I learned what a good familay I GOT TODAY AND THE wrong from WRIGHT to day but today if you said what due you got see pass it on
Member: cb
Location: lorain
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:45 PM
HELLO today , working to day keeping it all in crazy head my friend came over today . Workin on working was yeserday today is today . yeserday is in the passed dust to dust then was done .Today one day at time is say god bless all people getting the proper teat one person with resect to get help I learned what a good familay I GOT TODAY AND THE wrong from WRIGHT to day but today if you said what due you got see pass it on
Member: Scott J
Location: Richmond
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 08:57 PM
hey, 81 days clean today. can't get to a meeting tonight but needed to get outta my head. first time here, just need to feel the had of AA
Member: cb
Location: lorain
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 09:01 PM
pass it on the thing oh no what up must turn up side down so afart may let go ok cheezer so have good day god bless
Member: cb
Location: lorain
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 09:03 PM
pass it on the thing oh no what up must turn up side down so afart may let go ok cheezer so have good day god bless
Member: Scott J
Location: Richmond
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 09:06 PM
thanks for nothing cb. thought the only requirement was a desire to stop drinking. i'll try not to interfere with your chat anymore.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 10:12 PM
Diane- I missed you today- but am also happy you had a lot of things going on- I hope they were things to help keep your mind off "IT"- Went to a meeting tonight with my 2 smaller girls- I felt like if I didn't get out to a "safe" place I would fail- I feel like I've come too far to fall back again-I don't know why I woke up feeling so blue. I actually slept better last night than in the past 17 days, but still had a terribly rough day. I felt out of place at this meeting- it was an open meeting and my mind was just spinning- I went because I knew that it would help make the time go faster, I could come home, go to bed and wake up to say day 19. I did get my "white chip" and I tried to listen- I'm just thanking God for giving me the strength to get through the day- and begging for his help in not waking up feeling this way again tomorrow. I couldn't even post today- I was so depressed- irritated- at nothing in particular really, (just everything)- Thanks for listening (reading) Diane- talk to you in the morning.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 10:12 PM
Diane- I missed you today- but am also happy you had a lot of things going on- I hope they were things to help keep your mind off "IT"- Went to a meeting tonight with my 2 smaller girls- I felt like if I didn't get out to a "safe" place I would fail- I feel like I've come too far to fall back again-I don't know why I woke up feeling so blue. I actually slept better last night than in the past 17 days, but still had a terribly rough day. I felt out of place at this meeting- it was an open meeting and my mind was just spinning- I went because I knew that it would help make the time go faster, I could come home, go to bed and wake up to say day 19. I did get my "white chip" and I tried to listen- I'm just thanking God for giving me the strength to get through the day- and begging for his help in not waking up feeling this way again tomorrow. I couldn't even post today- I was so depressed- irritated- at nothing in particular really, (just everything)- Thanks for listening (reading) Diane- talk to you in the morning.
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 10:16 PM
Congratulations Tracy!!! You did something tonight that a lot of people (I mean A LOT) could have never done- you are a wonderful person for walking away- just reading this cb characters posts is enough for us to say- oh my G-D, that could have been me if I would've stayed another 5 minutes (lol) Again, Congratulations- day 101 on the way!
Member:
Location:
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 10:17 PM
Stephanie here- just apologizing for posting the same thing twice:)
Member: Stephanie Y
Location: Ohio
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 10:25 PM
Stacy- so nice to read your post- again I can relate so well to everything you say- I'm so glad you'll get to some meetings soon- if you read my post to Diane, you'll see I went to the Fun, Family, Fellowship one tonight- it really isn't as helpful as the closed BB meetings- I can't express myself to so many people- closed BB meetings are much nicer- Today was one of "those" days for me- I could not get my mind off the wrong things- so irritable- depreesed- just plain mad and sad- it's a good thing I went to the meeting to pass the night away- now I can go to bed thanking God- (or someone)that I didn't pick up that bottle- hopefully tomorrow will be a better day- Good night and be strong!
Member: MArty G
Location: Cowtown
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 11:06 PM
Stay sober today and dont drink tomorrow. Love one another. meg
Member: Di B
Location: Ok
Date: April 26, 2003
Time: 11:57 PM
Diane here and Scot you are welcome anytime this is a open board and we can not control was people write and what I read about this Cb guy he sounds drunk. He never seems to make sense. Anyway I had a good day and Stephanie you did the right thing to stay busy I know I've had some bad days and to just get busy being a meeting or a walk or what ever makes that lonely depressing part of our illness leave is what I do oh plus most important I talk to my HP and Nadine C I love your post they are so helpful to read what you have to say. Stacy and Tracy warm love coming your way, I read all the post on here and I have so much to say then by the time I get to the bottom I forget a lot of it lol anyway I've decided to back off my Daughter and let her fall if she has to on her own. You know I remember writing her before when I was drinking and I never made any sense but now I feel I make sense but not what she wants to hear, so I realize it's my character problem that I must also work on oh I did not smoke today or drink so bed time now and God Bless each and everyone of you This site keeps me going and whoever made this site I want to Thank them Di
Member: Nadine C,
Location: Cocoa, Florida
Date: April 27, 2003
Time: 04:49 AM
Morning Everybody! Tracy you did the right thing leaving when you did. Took alot of courage and kept first things first,your soberity comes first. Stephanie I enjoyed your post also and thanks Di B.,I'm glad I helped you,they say you have to give it sway to keep it and I truly believe it,the old timers helped me a great deal, I wanted what they had and I felt if they could do it,so could I. I hope I don't make anyone mad posting here. God Bless and lots of love to all of you.
Member: Lyn
Location: Scotland
Date: April 27, 2003
Time: 05:24 AM
Morning all. I wanted to share this with you all. I had no problem with admitting I was powerless over alcohol when I first walked through the doors of AA but didn't feel I felt this in my heart, would always look for some excuse. I am 13 days sober and I know yesterday has gone but still feel I want to share this with you all. Last night I was able to admit from my heart that I was powerless over alcohol and my life had became unmanageable.The mental torture that I went through last night, it was like there were two people in my head fighting with each other, one the good one trying so much to be strong the other telling me to get to shop , get your self out of the meeting , go buy some booze, your not as bad as them etc I was in turmoil, but what it tought me was that social drinkers dont experience this , they can open a bottle and put the top back on, me I cant, I would drink till it was finsihed . So today I know in my heart that I am an alcoholic .Happy that I have cleared that up inside my head and will take a day a time ,perhaps differently, as I now know in my heart what I am. I know if I hadn't been at a meeting last night and came home and picked up a phone and chatted with another AA member I would have picked up that first drink,I am so thankfull for the fellowship and all my friends in it, thankyou for all your posts, it helps be greatly. Stephanie I need to move the clock :))and will keep posting :)) hugs to you all.