Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.52.42.253
Date: March 28, 2004
Time: 10:26 AM -0500
HI everyone, I guess I am the first to post this week. I am now on my 7th day sober. I recently had one bad experience after another. LAst week when I decided to quit I was drinking so much that I left with one of the guys that were over hanging out, left frommy boyfriends house and went to go party more with him. I ended up having sex with this person. My boyfriend was calling my over and over again asking me to come home, not to drink and drive, that I was going to get hurt, he stayed up waiting for me. After I left the other guy I was crying, guess I was just sobering up thinking how can I do this, how can I have done this. I didn't tell him what happened only that I was sorry and that I would never touch alcohol again. We still aren't okay but at least we are talking. About three days after that I was at his house for some dinner having a small argument about a hockey game we were going to go to, I was hoping to talk him into going so we could have some fun together, his cousin came running over and told me to shut the hell up or get out and was in a rage. I am not sure where all the anger was coming from but then when I looked at Danny and asked him to say something the cousin came running over grabed me, slammed me into the wall and I slapped him telling him to let go then he punched me in the face. My boyfriend was standing thier the whole time. He said he was in shock at his cousin and didn't think he would hit me, after I got hit, he pulled his cousin off of me and held me and put ice on my face telling me how sorry he was. Now I alm sitting here wondering if that was something that God made happen for what I did a few nights before. I can't seem to forgive my boyfriend for just standing there and everything is a mess now. We live in the same apartment building so its hard to go home. And on top of it, I am not sure if it would have happened if I never went out and got crazy the night before. Anyway today is day 7 of my sobriety and I am pretty much alone. I have never felt so low in my entire life. I have never been so ashamed, so angry, so sick to mystomache of what my life is before now. I fear that I will loose my job for the three days I took off last week after the incident, I have lost the only person who really loved me, my boyfriend, and I just don't know how to get through these next days. I am not suicidal or anything I guess this is what they call hitting bottom.
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.116.138
Date: March 28, 2004
Time: 11:22 AM -0500
Lisa, congratulations on 7 days! First off, stop beating yourself over the past. In time you will be able to come to terms with it, but for now, you have to focus on your sobriety. Secondly, get yourself to an AA meeting. There are a bunch of people there for you who have been in similar situations such as yours. You will be amazed when people start to share. And you will not be alone. I chose a womens only meeting for my first meeting and it was great. I left with a daily thought book and about 25 names and numbers. Remember, you are not alone. You are not the only one with this disease. And for sure, everyday WILL get better. Here's to another sober 24 to all.
Member: Demetri
Location: NJ
Remote Name: 67.82.109.97
Date: March 28, 2004
Time: 06:52 PM -0500
Hi Family, Hi Lisa I a still very early to sobriety myself (45 days)and I am still coming to terms with the things my disease caused me to do. To keep my sanity I have to remind myself that it was my disease because were I in my right mind I would never have done the things I did. As for God punishing you, I know my God is a loving, caring, forgiving God who wants the best for me and I punish myself enough with out his help. I'm learning in the rooms that I'm not alone there are so many people out there with the exact same story as mine - maybe not the same details but the same actions, the same stinkin' thinkin'. I've learned that staying sober is going to be a long process that takes work. I find alot of times my disease wants to isolate me it wants me to feel alone. For me sometimes recognizing this is enough to change my feelings, other times it takes picking up the phone, calling my sponsor or someone in my network, or getting to a meeting. Whatever I'm feeling I know I don't have to pick up because for me one is too much and a thousand never enough. I hope I've been some help God knows I don't really know anything about staying sober I'm just taking suggestions and living my sobriety one day at a time. God Bless.
Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Remote Name: 198.115.160.142
Date: March 28, 2004
Time: 07:46 PM -0500
Meetings… I know people who go to one or more meetings a day. I know people who hardly ever go to meetings. The number of meetings that people go to, in my experience, has no correlation between how spiritual, honest, caring, or tolerant they are of others. >>>>>>That being said, it is also my experience that going to AA meetings helps me stay sober. >>>>>>When I first got sober I had people tell me that I should go to “90 meetings in 90 days” or that I should spend “as much time going to meetings as I did drinking”. That scared me quite a bit because I didn’t feel I could do either of those things, for various reasons. I was worried that I would not be able to stay sober because I wasn’t taking those suggestions. >>>>>>>>> However, with a little time I can see that these were suggestions, not requirements. >>>>>> One thing that has been important to me is having a “home group” one particular meeting that I attend regularly. It took me quite a while to feel a part of this meeting. For months I came in just before it started and left the minute it was over. At this particular meeting people sign up week to week to take on the duties of “setting up”, making the coffee etc. I started doing this on a regular basis and it helped me feel a part of the group. I started staying after the meeting to help clean up and chat. This also helped me feel a part of the group. However, I had to make the effort. >>>>>>>>> Since this is the Early Sobriety page and there may be others who are feeling how I felt I will also say that for quite a long time I was extremely uncomfortable going to meetings. I did not like them one bit. The patriarchal Christian trappings, the use of the Lord’s Prayer that closed many meetings, the assumption that everyone’s higher power has a name that begins with G and ends with D…. these things simply gave me fits. However I did keep going and I am a bit more tolerant now. :) I am also sober. My life is a million percent better. Could I have gotten sober without going to meetings? I really don’t know. Could I stay sober without going to meetings? I don’t know that either, but now I enjoy going so I think I’ll not bother to find out. >>> One thing I can promise you Lisa, is that at AA meetings you will find others who feel as you do and have been where you are. Those people will help you, and you will help them.
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 68.232.48.68
Date: March 28, 2004
Time: 11:19 PM -0500
Hi everyone, well I guess I am ending my Day 7 and tommorow will be my day 8. I spent time with my boyfriend tonight but it ended in disater. He rides to work with his cousin, the one who hit me now 5 days ago and I asked that he not do that for awhile. He insisted that it was just riding to work together, although they both have a vehicle. I told him that that was the end, this is over. I don't think that I can be with him. I don't know if his anger for what happened last weekend is causing him to take his cousin hitting me so lightly, whatever it is, there is just nothing left for us. Maybe he has seen me drunk one to many times, maybe he has just lost his repect fo rme little by little, I don't know, but I am going to continue to be strong as hard as it is for me right now. Going to a meeting is just not something that I can do. That was one of the reasons that I gave up this sobriety so many times before. Its something that makes me feel ashamed, its hard to explain. Maybe it will open up to me the longer that I am sober, I don't know, i am just working on baby steps right now. I am really going to have a hard time now, feeling like I am pretty much alone. I gave up all o fmy friends about 6 months ago, thinking they were the reason I was drinking like I was, bad influences or something, so I basically surrounded myself with my guy. Now he is gone and its up to me to be strong for myself. Its wierd because I don't want to go get a drink. I just hate alcohol right now. I don't want anything to do with it, but I am feeling pretty low. I decided to seek some counseling. I am going to try to get in touch with someone tommorow. My health insurance at work changed to cover that now. Its great. I only have to pay $20 a visit. That is really going to be a huge help. Right now I wish that I could run away, go somewhere where my past doesn't exist and there is nothing but good nice people all around who I will instantly make friends with and life will be great. Sounds pretty dumb right, guess I have the I'm lonl ey thing going on. Thanks to everyone for thier encouragement. I am really motivated to keep going forward. I keep telling myself that all of this craziness will soon be a distant memory and hopefully good will follow the longer that I am away from the bad. I just hope it comes soon because this is going to be the hardest thing that I ever will do in my life. GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE ON ANOTHER DAY SOBER. Thanks for listening
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 205.188.116.204
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 01:14 AM -0500
Hi, I'm Kelly an alcoholic. ((Lisa)) thanks for sharing and the remember when. It helps me to remember all of my own jackpots. After 17 months sober it seems like a long time ago. 7 days without a drink is awesome! I know I can't pick up a drink or I will be right to (destination unknown). Where did I go?, what did I say? Whose ceiling am I looking up at and please God, if you get me out of this jam I promise I'll never drink again. Oh yes, I remember! I never want to feel that way again so for the next 24 hours I'm not picking up a drink. On meetings, That is a suggestion I took this time in AA. I was told "Meeting Makers Make It". It was suggested in rehab I do 90 meetings in 90 days. I did 180 meetings in 90 days. I stayed sober. They suggested I get a sponsor, I did and followed what she said. I stayed sober. It was suggested I get a homegroup and a job in AA. I got a homegroup and a backup homegroup and I took on 3 small jobs in AA. I stayed sober. Then my sponsor suggested I get womens phone numbers and when I'm having a hard time pick up the phone and call someone, I really did not like asking for help but because I was willing to do anything I did call women in AA. I stayed sober and made friends that way. I was told that a grateful heart will never drink and to pray each night thanking my higher power for keeping me sober that day and in the morning to pray to get me through the day without a drink. I did it because everything I was told to do (was) keeping me sober. It helped me to find and use my HP on a daily basis and not only did I not want to drink but I started to feel good about my life again. Even at 17 months sober I still attend at least a meeting a day because It is something I (enjoy) today. I know I could go a day or two without one but then again I might miss out on something I really need to hear that day. Being sober has been the best thing that has ever happened to this alki! Best of Luck and GodBless, Kelly :)
Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 152.163.252.68
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 05:29 AM -0500
Hi Lisa. Ann here, and on the 1st, I'll have 6 months of sobriety. One day at a time. And I think I remember you from the beginning of my sobriety and your postings. Did you post here before? If you did, I remember your story. It sounded the same 6 months ago. And the posts sound the same. You need to get up and get to a meeting. Period. Remember that all people who are posting here have been thru what you are going thru. And most of us are newbies, although some great people like AZ Bill chime in with wonderful insight. Listen and do what people say. Don't ask why, and don't fight it. You did that last time and did it work? We are all here for you, but the work has to come on your end. I just did 6 days in jail for DUI. I would give nothing back after that fateful night. No, it wasn't an accident so for that I am thankful noone was hurt, but someone could have! I have been sober since and life has gotten so wonderful. Was it easy? No. Is it worth it? Totally! When you say you are ashamed to go to a meeting, that means you are ashamed of us. Think about it. And keep posting, and learn from other peoples experiences. Here's to another sober 24 for all.
Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 69.3.222.108
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 08:48 AM -0500
I used to rely way too much on meetings and not enough on the power that kept me sober. Eventually my total reliance on the fellowship failed me and I drank again. If I rely on any one person or group for my emotional well being I will surely fail. It might not make me drink today, but that reliance on all things human will definately handicap my better judgment, which might lead me to drink. When AA first was being developed, the founders put together a formula that helped the suffering alcoholic recognize a few important ideas. 1.This is a physical disease in which we process alchohol differently (creates craving)2. mental disease or obscession that we think we can drink normally after time away from alcohol. 3. Most alcoholics are spiritually sick also. In the beginning, meetings were only held once a week, but they hammered these ideas into the conciousness of the newcomer and also hammered the idea that for our type of alcoholics, alcoholics of the hopless variety, only a POWER GREATER THAN OURSELVES could relieve us. They put the empahsis upon relying on a God of our own understanding to get and keep them sober. Many groups still do this. Unfortunately, some groups don't. Today there are many confusing aspects of AA... mainly too many topic meetings without a firm grasp of the one any only REAL PROGRAM founded in the 12 STEPS as described in the BIG BOOK in the first 164 pages. I am not saying don't go to 2 meetings a day if that keeps you from drinking, but what I am saying, the sooner I was able to work the steps, the better chance I had to remain sober and not have to rely on relationships that used to confuse me. For me, it's God first, my sobriety, my family, work, then the fellowship of AA. Meeting makers don't always make it. There are alot of sick people out their who haven't drank for many years. Some people confuse going to meetings as their program of action. I did that myself the first time around and had little success staying sober. The PROGRAM of action is in working the 12 steps. There are also alot of recovered alcoholics at meetings willing to help others work the program. Program workers almost always make it, only if they work the program suggested in the BOOK, not their own personal version.
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 10:42 AM -0500
Hi everyone, I am so happy to know that there are people out there who care and can relate to me. Its great. ((Ann)) you are right, I did post here before, but I feel out. I thought I could be strong and handle alcohol, that I could drink, I could one day control it. I actually thought that having a new person in my life who didn't like to excessivley drink would keep me from getting out of control. Wow, I was wrong. I know that I never want to drink again. For the first time I can say that there isn't any questions in my mind as to maybe a few months from now or maybe at Christmas, nothing. I just don't want it anymore. Its does not create fun at all, and actually I am afraid, very afraid of what will happen if I do. I am getting a lot of strength from this site and I am really happy that they changed it. I know before there were a lot of posts from jerks that would log on to make fun or jokes, now it feels that this group is realyl only those who want to stop drinking and knows exactly what its like to be in this mess. I am so angry that alcohol has turned my life into a mess, I hate it, I actually wish that it were illegal, that the world would stop seeing alcohol as being okay to drink. Its insane. Its everywhere. Why can't we have dance clubs, parties, holidays, haning on the beach, boating, everything we do, why can't it be without alcohol. Just rambeling. I AM ON DAY 8 OF SOBRIETY. I am feeling very positive today. Thanks everyone, your words, your encouragement means everything.
Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 11:18 AM -0500
Adam, alcoholic. Here's another great reason to get to meetings, regardless of whether you are a longtimer or a newcomer: the miracle happens when one alcoholic works with another...best place to find alcoholics who want to get sober is in an AA meeting. Follow their example if you are new and take 'em by the hand and lead 'em if you're not. Thanks.
Member: AA-Eric
Location: Texas
Remote Name: 66.69.178.234
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 01:58 PM -0500
My name is Eric and I am an alcoholic and drug attic. My sobriety date is October 21 of 2003. I recently moved in with my mother who I had only seen about once a year through the years when I was growing up. For the first few months everything was great. One of the requirements of me moving in was for me to make 90 meetings in 90 days. When she told me that I agreed but in my mind I thought isn't that kind of drastic. But after a month or so she told me that I don't have to keep going if I didn't want to, but by then I had already been going and listening in the meetings and had come to the belief that maybe I was an alcholic/drug attic. A few weeks ago work slowed down at my job and I wasn't able to work. Well the first week I just kind of layed around waiting untill the next week when I had been told I was going to work again. Second week rolled around and still no work. Well in the middle of that week my mom told me that if i didn't have a full time job by monday of the following week that I was going to have to move out. So I got up at 7am each day and stayed out all day looking for a job. That Thursday I came home to get a bite to eat for lunch and sat down on the computer while I ate and she said what are you doing don't you think you should be out looking for a job. That kinda upset me but I ignored it. She seems to think I have an addiction to playing pool on the internet. When I don't work or am not at a meeting I am usually on the internet playing pool. But I see it like this, it's better for me to be playing pool than to be out drinking or drugging. Then last night she told me we needed to talk. So her, my step father and I sat on the couch and talked for about 3 hours, actually they talked and I listned. Basically they said they were enabling me and hurting me more than they were helping me. So now im looking for another place to stay. They didn't really give me a set day to be out, they just said that that is their choice. While we were talking I had thoughts of suicide. That it would be alot easier just to end my life so I would not have to deal with any more of this. But after I thought about it more I knew that wasn't the solution. I just needed to let some of this out, thanks for letting me share.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 66.119.33.170
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 02:18 PM -0500
Craig L here, When I got here, to say my life was a mess was an understatement. I had fought that same battle over and over, stopping drinking, not changing anything else, then thinking “well maybe just one”. That “just one” had never worked for me, yet my insanity kept me thinking it would be different “this time”. When I got here the last time, I was sick and tired. I was tired of feeling sick and hung over, I was tired of all the drama, chaos and craziness my mind, left alone created (and still does sometimes LOL.). Early on the meetings gave me something to do with my time, so I wasn’t alone in my head. Today, I love and look forward to meetings and it has been some time since my last drink. In the meetings I found the faith to believe in the 12 steps. As a result my life is relatively free of the drama and chaos. Most days I sleep and wake up to Peace. To Lisa and other struggling newcomers, you are loved and entitled to a life free of alcohol and your crazy thinking. I would suggest you focus on getting to meetings and learning to practice these steps. The rest always takes care of itself.
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 04:49 PM -0500
HI, Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I feel that meetings are essential. I also feel the precise number of meetings is not. The number of meetings should be as many meetings as it take to make you comfortable. There was only one meeting a week where I got sober. I drank for a long time, making meetings match my drinking was not only near impossible it was ludicrous. It is more essential to have a Home Group. There is a Grapevine,Inc. publication entitled "The Home Group: Heartbeat of AA". You might want to read it. I did not trade a bar stool for a seat in AA. What I mean by that is I did not give up isolation in booze to isolate in recovery. My first sponsor was able to move in with me. He was sober a couple of days and I about a week. We would be told in today's AA that neither of us was ready. :) I put down my last drink in late August. By Labor day we were up on the South Platte, fly rod in one hand, big book in the other. He was teaching me fly fishing and we were helping each other with the steps at the camp fire. In the spirit of the third Tradition these are indeed AA meetings. We are both sober today. Love ya Bill
Member: Fergy
Location: Canada
Remote Name: 172.174.214.202
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 06:28 PM -0500
Hello Lisa Eric and friends...well 22 days sober and for this macho man ..(surely you jest), I have come to realize that a bad day being sober is better than a good day being in the bag...a nine day binge got me here and I finally said Enough is Enough...All of us have paid a very heavy price to get here...other wise if life was so grand in the drinking world we would still be out there ...I agree with the previous comments that for genetic or other reasons unknown we process alcohol differently which creates a craving...geezus I could never ever see the point is having two ...in fact one was too many and a hundred not enough...I drank to get buzzed and forget who I was for the brief moment in time....my first meeting was very very intimidating. I felt guilty (what are people going to think)...... ashamed (that I was not in control) and perhaps I was having a pity party for me....however looking back I failed to realize at the time that everyone at the meeting had the same problem as me...one old timer came up to me and said Fergy I have been sober for 28 years but remember I am no further away from a drink than you are...so right he is...meetings I have come to learn are really where it is at and I just wish that this guy would of gotten there a lot sooner.... ..if you have not been to a meeting ...drag yourself to one...go out of town where no one will know you if that is an issue....funny that I was embarrassed to go to a meeting for the first time because i was concerned about what people who knew me might think...but of course I was never concerned about getting hammered in public and what those people might think!!!...one day at a time so far is working and I just want to thank all of you for sharing and wish everyone another 24 hours! God Bless!
Member: KellyM
Location: WA
Remote Name: 198.108.89.38
Date: March 29, 2004
Time: 06:31 PM -0500
i thought sobriety would be easy, that i wouldn't need help from AA or a sponsor... much denial... but i've come to learn that getting sober is something you can't do on your own. you do need a support group of people who know what you're going through so i say thank you God for AA... it has definitely helped me!
Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 64.118.240.97
Date: March 30, 2004
Time: 08:22 AM -0500
I did not know much when I entered the AA rooms. The suggestions were: go to 90/90, get a home group and get a sponsor. I asked why? The meetings were to save your butt, the home group was to save your butt and the sponsor was to save your butt. I went to 360 meetings in 90 days as that was the only place I felt safe from drinking and drugging. I had a FT job, two black eyes, a broken nose, and a broken arm . No reasons or excuses could stop me from going to meetings. Those meetings taught me how to come back and not be alone. They taught me survival of the willing. I still go to many meetings a week and have gone in all kind of torn up conditions. I have two home groups: a women's group and a co-ed group. These home groups allowed me relationships and friendships that when I am in trouble the people noticed and helped me. My sponsor saves my butt every day, even if I talk to her machine more than her. The meetings I now maintain in my sobriety, give my behaviors and attitude the adjustment that I need to be willing to go to any lenghts to stay out of the bars, dance clubs and from being judgemental of those who go. Lisa: email me at: fgogtgi97@yahoo.com Where in Florida do you live? Maybe some of us here live close enough to help you out and if we don't we can get you help. Suggestion: You need to head to a meeting, now. No reasons or excuses are good enough for me when it comes to saving my butt.
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: March 30, 2004
Time: 12:27 PM -0500
Hi everyone, on day number 9. My spirits are lifting. Personl problems are still high, but trying to avoid it all and just focus on me. Things are getting better I think, at least I am not sulking anymore :-) Just wanted to wish everyone good luck on another day sober!
Member: RI-Dave
Location: RI
Remote Name: 32.97.32.195
Date: March 30, 2004
Time: 01:14 PM -0500
Hi All! Just wanted to drop a quick note to say hello. HELLO! I am new to this site, but so far I think it is great. My sobriety date is 1/5/04. However, this is not the longest I've ever gone without a drink. I've actually had almost 2 years without a drink. The difference is that I know now that was not sobriety, but abstinence. The last 80 days or so far exceed those two years! All I know, and I am only speaking for myself, is that in order to stay sober, I must want to go to any lengths to achieve that goal. Going to meetings, having a sponsor, being active and having a higher power, are all essential to staying sober. I have tried it my way, and it simply didn't work. All it got me was stays at re-habs, jail time etc. They say drinking will bring you to jails, institutions and death, and they are right. I've seen the fitrst 2 and I don't want to seethe third!!! So, in closing, I'll keep coming an listening to the suggestions of those who've been there and with the grace of God will stay sober another day!
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 67.73.207.38
Date: March 30, 2004
Time: 03:48 PM -0500
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. My favorite passage about meetings was written by Bill W and is currently found in the AA conference-approved pamphlet "Problems other than Alcohol". "Sobriety - freedom from alcohol - through the teaching and practice of the Twelve Steps is the sole purpose of an A.A. group." That statement describes the basis for my meeting attendance. First I need to be taught the Twelve Steps, then I need to practice them. Even if I do not hear anything new in a meeting, I never fail to learn more about the practice of the steps in daily life. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Kathy H.
Location: Il.
Remote Name: 67.73.130.81
Date: March 30, 2004
Time: 11:25 PM -0500
Hi everybody! Thanks for the lead, Lisa M. This is my first time participating in this group. Hang in there, Lisa! I am just now finishing my 24th day of sobriety.---This time!---I was sober for over five months the first time. Then I went back "out" for another three months before I realized I was actually getting worse than had been in the past. Talk about being ashamed and embarrassed the first time I went to another meeting! But my "family" at A.A. weren't/aren't judgemental. They welcomed me with the same open arms they had that first day I walked in. Please try to set your fears aside. We've all done some things we're not proud of. With A.A. that's okay. We just try to be there for each other and try to help each other to not do those same things again. Our successes don't happen overnight. Our successes happen moment by moment. If you (and I) make it through one more minute of sobriety, we've accomplished something. And in my opinion, we've accomplished something GREAT! I, too, recently slept with somebody I had no business sleeping with. I'm certainly not proud of the fact, but I've accepted the fact that I did it and now it's in my past. Thank goodness we have a past! That's where we can leave all those things. We don't have to re-live them. We CAN'T re-live them! We can only let them go and move on. Remember them, yes. We remember them so we'll have that knowledge to help us from repeating them. Keep in mind, we're all human and a lot of us have made exactly the same mistakes. That's part of being human. Try to work up the courage to attend a meeting. I think you'll be happy you did! Hang in there all! And good luck on another 24 hours of sobriety!
Member: Jim D
Location: Fl
Remote Name: 24.28.47.16
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 11:04 AM -0500
Lisa, In one of your posts you said you'd like to get away, I tried to get away, start over ect. the problem was anywhere I went there I was. I would suggest that you try going to meetings, you are not unique, and people will want to help. Good luck.
Member: William S
Location: Austin, TX
Remote Name: 129.116.242.248
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 03:03 PM -0500
Hi everyone. Day 175. I try to go to a meeting everyday but it's a quality/not quantity thing. I used to despise meetings and would seethe about it, thinking "this is a total waste of time & the coffee sucks." I was arrogant and thought I was too good for AA, that I wasn't as bad as those attending (not yet, anyway) that I could achieve sobriety other ways. & when life got so bad I couldn't stand it, I got drunk. The support of AA was within my grasp but my pride & fear stopped me from making those phone calls. I've slipped at one year, 4-1/2 yrs, and 6+ yrs and that's my history. I don't share in every meeting (it's not required) but I do when asked. My experience, whether I like it or not, is something that some folks find useful, at least that's what they tell me. One of the most important aspects for me is the meeting after the meeting, the face-to-face time spent w/ other alcoholics (aka fellowship). Many close friendships have developed since I returned last year. Wouldn't trade it for a swimming pool full of booze!
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 04:52 PM -0500
Hello everyone, I had bounced in and out of AA for years and at times had managed to maintain long term sobriety, albeit very tedious sobriety. Over the years I had tried eveything, from a chiropractor, to vitamin therapy, treatment 4 times and even after all these had failed, I still did not want to give AA a fighting chance. My last time out I was drinking to die, I was bound and determined that I was going to drink myself to death. At somepoint in my haze, a friend of Bill's called me as he hadn't seen me in awhile, he came over and stayed for the next four days weaning me off the booze as the area I was in didn't have a detox centre and we knew that the local hospital wouldn't take me. At the end of it he said one thing "You must be willing to go to any lengths" SO, I left my husband, and my kids and I went to a recovery house for 3 months where it was mandatory that you attend a minimum of five meetings a week, along with a daily reflections meeting and a daily big book study. I hated it at first but gradually something clicked and the saying "we can do, what I can't" really came to mean something and we can because I am still sober.
Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.163.172
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 06:20 PM -0500
well,a special hello to( LISA M.congradulation)and hope for the best _(kelly MNH)-how are you hope things are well for you.-MirandaVT<USA)-glad to see your still here and hope things are well. Well to anyone new its me stephen and this is a good topic meettings,WHY YOU ASK-because i havent been to any in a week,because of being stuck with the flu and i hate it and i got involved with the A.A.hotline and love it,because im giving something back to help someone else and so,i love it but i also miss my home group meeting and all people there and so if anyone needs the hand of A.A. im here for that im responisable and you can reach me at the following fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com------germgrabber2000@yahoo.com and to all have a good week,and if know one has told you today they love you ,well i am..
Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Remote Name: 4.15.232.30
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 08:31 PM -0500
Dr Allan, go over to Early Sobriety page, and find AZ Bill..he always posts his email address, it's there..the AZ stands for Arizona
Member: Heather
Location: UT
Remote Name: 67.166.104.244
Date: March 31, 2004
Time: 10:01 PM -0500
(((All))) At first I couldn't get to meetings in person, so I used this site to detox and get dry. I was still isolated and finally my husband let me take the car so I could get to meetings f2f. I wouldn't be sober now if it weren't for the combination of the coffee pot and my nightly home group. I didn't do 90 f2f and I don't go every night, but I have recognized that if I don't WANT to go, then I NEED to go and I go. It's that or go back out, and that's what happened after I quit going to meetings in '89. I'm not willing to chance that I can get by without them; I may not make it back.
Member: RI-Dave
Location: RI
Remote Name: 158.171.31.11
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 07:46 AM -0500
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Dave, To Lise in Alberta: That's exactly what I'm learning. We must be willing to go to any lengths. It does seem to be pretty extreme to leave a husband and your kid's, but for myself, I know now that anything i put before my sobriety I will lose. Thanks for your message Lise.
Member: CherylG
Location: FL
Remote Name: 68.218.211.146
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 11:07 AM -0500
Hi my name is Cheryl and I am an alcoholic. I'm don't know that i would say i am sober as i hve drank in the last week. It's a total dissapointment. I qiuit drinking completly on Dec 6 2003. I had finally decided enogh was enough.(until recently that is) you see my drinking had caused my boyfriend to break up with me because it got out of hand more often than not. he said he still loved me but he couldn't put up with it. who could blame him? wellI finally gto my life back together( and even though we work together, it was until last week on different shifts) i stopped drinking and started getting out more(i was an at home drinker, meaning i only left the house to go to work..and that is literally it)i startd feeling good again but low and behold fate seemed to decide i needed another kick in the teeth, and we were put on the same shift working mostly side by side. i have tried so hard to keep up a strong front but it's ripping me to peices anywasy last night i gave in and drank. i feel so terrible about it. it didn't help at all but only made me feel worse. i don't know how i am going to handle this recent situation. I don't want to go back to te way i was and i am terrified that it might happen. i have never been big on meetings as my work schedule doesn't usually permit it, but i need something. someone i don't know. Any suggestions?
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 12:24 PM -0500
((Cheryl)), I know exactly how you feel I am in the same boat as you. I am not going to get to meetings, I know I never will. I read a post that said that could been seen as not thinking to much of those that go, but its not that, its just that I simply don't feel comfortable with it. I also have punches coming at me left and right and one of them was my also my boyfriend who I thought was the best thing in my life. He told me he couldn't take my drinking anymore also. I have been going round and round with him, one minute he loves me the next he hates me. We have the added problem of an argument with his cousin that ended in him punching me. Now there is a ourt case to go to, and we are all fighting over who should be evicted, my boyfriend now taking his cousin's side. Its turne dinto a big drama mess that I am just do sick over. Its so hard to be stong all of the time. I feel like I need a vacation from life and maybe to get my sanity back. Just feel slike so much is coming at me. Anyway, I think that I am going to end up just leaving the apartments. It is going to be hard because I love it there, its right on the water and actually affordable. I think now that my boyfriend wasn't the best person to be with being that he is defending his cousin in this whole mess but it still hurts pretty deeply. I feel very empty but thankfully haven't wanted to go out and drink. Actually I am so disgusted with drinking that I haven't even wanted it around me. I decided to go to counceling next week and move back home with my mother. I hope that having her support will help me to find my way back to myself. I really don't want to loose my apartment but I think that right now its the best thing for me. To get myself back on track. I feel like a little girl sometimes who needs someone to tell them everything is okay. I just look at this whole thing as its time to learn to stadn on your own two feet and be strong.
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 01:30 PM -0500
Good day everyone, To RI-Dave, it may seem extreme but after going to treatment 4 times, losing too many good jobs including my teaching career, passing up too many good opportunities, dissappointing too many people too many times, I finally came to the realization that a drunk mother was no good to my children and neither was a dead one. Going to any lengths can mean many things to many different alkies. It may mean giving a job, a marriage, a bad relationship, cutting off family and friends, moving, separating from your loved ones, basically what ever it takes to focus on your sobriety and your self. That is how I feel and I also feel that it is so important in early sobriety to do just that put your sobriety and yourself first. I made a million excuses over the years, my kids need me, my family needs me, I love him and he needs me, I love him and he can keep me sober, I can't leave work, I'm needed at the swim club, we can't afford it, I'm too tired to get to a meeting, I'm to busy to get to a meeting, I'm doing okay, I've been sober now a year I can have a few, I've worked hard I deserve a drink, those ingrates I'll show them. All those excuses just led me back to one place, the bottom of a vodka bottle. So I went to any lengths, I left my family, my friends, my job, my tribe, my home and I gave it all up and in the end I got back what was good and left all the crap behind me. I know live with my kids, my husband and I divorced. I am happy, they are happy and I am sober.
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 02:26 PM -0500
Cheryl, your posting really touched me in some way, I would just like to say, from lots of expereince, if you go back drinking, it is never like it was before, it is always worse
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 04:17 PM -0500
Hi everyone, just wanted to post that today is number 11 for me! Good Luck to everyone
Member: DonnaM
Location: Massachusetts
Remote Name: 67.21.192.120
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 06:24 PM -0500
Hi my name is Donna and I just found this site today. Today was almost day 4 but I blew it last night and drank. I know I won't take a drink tonight because I still feel lousy from last night. However the weekend is almost here so this is going to be hard. How do you change when the people around you still drink and tell you just to switch to beer? I prefer wine and I can handle beer a lot better. I have been asking myself if I am an alcoholic and I read if you think you have a problem then you probably do. I know I have a problem. I have known for some time but I didn't want to admit it. 3 days is the most I can go without a drink and then I think about it all day long. Will I drink tonight or not? Does the actual craving go away at all? I really liked waking up in the morning with no hangover. I sometimes think that I'll just have 2 glasses of wine and end up having 5. Sometimes I can't even remember having had a phone conversation. I guess I'm afraid of not being able to have a glass of wine ever again. That thought just stinks. I enjoy it too much, thats the problem. So I am trying to do this and I do realize it won't be easy. I have tried to "peek" in on an aa meeting but its so hard because I work full time and I have a child. I need to find a babysitter. Excuses I know. Anyway it feels good just to know that this site is here. Thanks
Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.119.59.125
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 08:29 PM -0500
Carrie, alcoholic. I need meetings, I always will and I thank God everyday for AA. Trying to get sober, stay sober and change my life is not possible on my own. My best thinking kept me drinking and couldn't cure my depression or self obsession. If you think you are an alcoholic, you probably are. If you want your life to get better, get to 90 meetings in 90 days and then decided if AA is right for you. If you have never been to AA or haven't given it a fair try, you are cheating yourself out of a freedom that you cannot imagine. Trust me, I NEVER would have believed my life could be like it is today. I PROMISE you can have what most of us have found if you just give yourself that chance. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results. When you are tired of running around in circles and getting no where, try something that works. God bless us all.
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 09:40 PM -0500
To Donna, you don't change to beer you change the people. If you are ready and only you know, you must be prepared to put your sobriety first and as I have posted do what ever it takes, go to any lengths to stay sober. I think that this is very important in early sobriety, and it might mean giving up friends, for a little while until you a comfortable being around booze, and some people never are. If they don't understand that you are serious about quitting drinking and living sober, if they just want you to change to beer then are they really friends. From expereince, when you sober up you find out very quickly who your friends really are. Good luck with the weekend, get to a meeting, call a local AA help line and talk to someone, post on this site all night if need be, go to any lengths. My thoughts and prayers and hopes and experiences are with you right now.
Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.165.56.47
Date: April 01, 2004
Time: 10:45 PM -0500
For those who are discovering that drinking is becoming or is a problem. There is plenty of help these days. AA is one program of recovery. There are also many good inpatient and intensive out patient recovery programs also, which many recomend 12th step as part of their recovery programs. There are also many good substance abuse counslers,Psychologists, psychiatrists that help deal with deeper emotional problems such as clinical depression and anxiety issues to name a few problems. The problem almost always lies within ourselves. AA helped me to 1. recognise the problem 2. helped me find the solution to that problem 3. helped me learn to apply that solution to my life, learning to live sober. And yes, the urge to drink does go away. And for many, a sober life becomes a normal life. That life is just as fullfilling as any life minus the booze and drugs. Best wishes to all. The first step is asking for help. This site posts AA links on the main menu. Good luck.
Member: CherylG
Location: FL
Remote Name: 68.218.211.146
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 04:01 AM -0500
its me again... Thanks to LisaM and Lise.. I really appreciate the feedback. I know i'll be ok. Just starting on day 2 all over again. I know you are right Lise it would only be worse. . And darn it I have come too far now to let go. I went from drinking around a fifth of vodka a day to nothing. I put in my time i.e the night sweats the panic attacks and I did have family around to help but I think you will all agree that while they mean well, Its not them in the long rn going through this. It's our disease and support or not we all made the decision that we didn't have to lay down and suffer. we stood up against our most formidable foe... ourselves. No matter what anyone says, that makes us a heck of a lot stronger than most. I had a little hiccup but I am not going to let that put mee back or keep me down. We are survivors and have within us the means to get to where we want to be in our lives without the help of alcohol.Sorry for taking up so much space. I am truly greatful I found you guys. you are all an inspiration
Member: DonnaM
Location: Massachusetts
Remote Name: 67.21.192.120
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 07:56 AM -0500
Hi its Donna going on day 2. Woke up this morning without a hangover again and it feels great. I only have a minute I have to get to work but I want to thank you all for the support and prayers. Deep down I do realize changing drinks is not the answer. I have to get honest with myself first. I had no idea how hard this was going to be. To try to live a normal life without always having wine in my mind. Wow. Thanks I'll check in later after work. Also I am going to check out the meetings in my area for times and places. Making myself go though will be another thing. First things first I guess!!! I'm glad I found this site though.
Member: Angela B.
Location: Marshfield
Remote Name: 66.228.69.226
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 11:09 AM -0500
Lisa M- It really troubles me to hear you say that you will never make it to meetings. Believe me I know how uncomfortable it can be but you have to do the things you're most uncomfortable with in order to change. Because once you do something once, all the fear you've built up in your head about how bad it was going to be gets less and less. Sometimes it just disappears. You feel so alone right now because you're not surrounding yourself with people who have been in your situation and know all the feelings you have. I was absolutely amazed at my first meeting because this older woman with 3 kids an ex husband and a house she was losing was standing up there telling my story. I don't have any of those things but I had every emotion and feeling she was talking about. And when I read your comment about wanting to go to a place where your past doesnt matter and your surrounded by friendly, good people... well you're pretty much describing a meeting:) And things do get better if you really want them to. You'll know when the gift of desperation really hits you. Even if you go to a meeting and stand in the back and just listen I think you'll find you feel a little less alone. We have a banner in back of our podium that says "welcome... you never have to be alone again." Pretty powerful stuff:) Good luck to you sweetie.
Member: DonnaM
Location: Massachusetts
Remote Name: 24.34.114.40
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 11:42 AM -0500
Hi its Donna again. I'm at work but I have to write this . I have this sinking feeling that I'm not going to makeit. I'm going out to dinner tonight and I ALWAYS order a glass or two of wine. I love the atmosphere and the wine and the just being out. Is there any way to still have a life and not drink? How do you do the regular things like going out to eat or going to a pub and dancing? I suppose if I were a stronger person maybe, but I'm not. Do you have to stay away from all places with alcohol? I'm so frustrated with wanting to not drink and not being able to do that. Yikes I have a lot ahead of me don't I?
Member: Angela B.
Location: Marshfield
Remote Name: 66.228.69.226
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 12:06 PM -0500
hey Donna I so sympathize with what your feeling... I have always been told to not put myself in situations or places that I might not be ablw to walk away from. And whe you do social things to do them with another recovering alcoholic. I have had so much fun in sobriety and a lot of it is because I am coming to realize that me just being me without being under the influence of anything is actually better than what I used to know. Just wanted you to know someones listening:) My prayers are with you
Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 12:52 PM -0500
To Donna M from Mass.. you posted. "Is there any way to still have a life and not drink? How do you do the regular things like going out to eat or going to a pub and dancing?" The answer to your questions are a big YES. And another good reason to do the work out of the big book first. The direct answer to your question can be found at the bottom of page 100 in the Big Book. Read to the end of the chapter. But bear in mind it is page 100 which means there is 99 pages before it. Just follow the instructions. I live life to the max and so can you. I just don't drink. Take care, Bill
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.48.38.226
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 12:57 PM -0500
Hi Donna, its really strange reading your posts and remembering saying everything that you are saying now and I did it right on this site. I went through every step that you seem to be going through right now. One word of advice, don't get frustrated to the point that you think you can handle the alchol now that you realize you have the problem. Don't go out and think that now that you have heard the stories and know what having to much to drink leads to that you are able to not drink excessivley anymore. Don't think that your brain will tell your body you have had enough after one or two. Just try to focus on the why's of why you don't want to continue your life the way it is going. What have you done that you never want to do again. You aren't at the hit bottom point and thats what makes you feel like you can control this problem or want to. You don't want to hit bottom and thats why your consious is giving you a warning by alerting you of the problem. I have hit bottom and I know right now I don't ever want to drink again and for once don't think that I will, don't want to nothing, but as soon as I get through my ruff time, I will be saying exactly what you are now and thats why we are alcoholics and have to choose to live without alcohol. Whats the big deal of going out and not drinking. If you know that your problem is going to sneak up and bit you, why even pick up a glass of wine. Whats more important to you, not doing the things you are regretful of, the problems that alcohol brings to you, or having that glass. Just remember that when you think you want to drink. Believe me, you don't want to keep going and have a story of driving home and not remembering what happened, because of the black outs we all get, and possibly hitting someone or waking up n jail, other nights you could find yourself at home with a different man, not sure why or what happened, yeah you might say or think that you won't have these types of problems, if you already haven't, but alcohol leads us down such a terrible road that we are all here with all of our regrets trying to figure out what happened to our lives and why we have done some of the terrible things that we have done. So trust me, don't worry about not being able to have that next drink, worry about never having to hold so much regret in your heart, not having a life, or having your life taken from you. Think about it, we all have said the same things that you have, we all were once you. By the way, today is day 12 for me. :-) Hope my story wasn't to drama filled, her words just reminded me of myself and made me sad thinking of where I might be now had I not decided to fight this thing 7 onths ago when I first logged on. Good Luck everyone.
Member: DonnaM
Location: Massachusetts
Remote Name: 24.34.114.40
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 01:35 PM -0500
to Lisa M, thanks for the support. You read my mind about hearing the stories and thinking now I just won't let myself get drunk. I was laughing and crying at the same time. You are right I have not hit bottom and I don't want to. I will remember what you said and thank you. To Angie B, I like what you said abot just being me without being under the infuence of anything is actually better than what I used to know. I like that. And to AZBILL, i don't even have the big book. Guess I'll have to get one and get to page 100. Thank you all for your support. I have been jealous of people that don't have a drinking problem. I would watch them and wonder why they would only want 1 or 2 drinks when 4 or 5 is so much better. So I thought I could be one of them and just have 1 or 2. Doesn't work that way does it? Thank you all again for you helpful words.
Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 02:46 PM -0500
Donna, It gets easier with time. Look at it this way, you can drink anytime you want to, nobody is going to stop you, you can do anything you want to, it is a CHOICE. Tell me does the food taste any different because you have a glass of wine with it, is the music any different, is the atmosphere, the sounds the people are they magically transformed because you have a glass of wine with it. The answer is no, they are the same in fact if anything without the booze it is more real. Just about everybody in early sobriety thinks about never drinking again, the thoughts do subside, especially as you learn to do things without booze. There was a time in my life when I couldn't even pick up my child from daycare without having a swig or two first. I didn't travel anywhere without a bottle with me, and I mean to a business meeting, the zoo, any kind of function I had a shot bottle with me. It took time to learn to do everything in my life without booze. It took time for the thoughts of not drinking to go away. One day at a time, just get through today without a drink, don't focus on the future. Somebody told me that they thought those in AA were the chosen few and that we are lucky because we have the strength to go through life and all it's ups and downs without having to take a drink. You too will know the wonderful freedom that sobriety offers, but again it takes time and hard work and you have millions of AA's willing to help you, probably the worlds largest support system is always just a computer, a phone-call and a meeting away, you are not alone and people will help you if you ask. If you want to e-mail me it is lrem22@yahoo.ca, I will home tonite and all weekend and if you need or want help, ask. The hand of AA is always there. Thank God
Member: Jeff M.
Location: midwest
Remote Name: 63.231.189.59
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 07:05 PM -0500
Hello, Jeff here, alcoholic. I've been sober since September 11, 2003. It was the anniversary of the attacks, and I visited a web site, viewing history from that day 2 years ago. There was a recording from an answering machine of a woman calling her husband while she was stuck in the World Trade Center. The answering machine recorded her last words. I could hear the realization in her voice that she was going to die, it was filled with regret and despair. She sobbed as she told her husband that she loved him. That was it for me. I was just as trapped as she was, just as sure to die. I had the dumb luck to get a second chance; she didn't. The one thing I love about all of your comments is how much I learn vicariously by reading those who step out and start drinking again. I have never heard a single person say the experience was good. In fact, the common denominator in your stories has been that it is WORSE each time you go back out on your own. Some of you have even said it is MUCH WORSE. I thank each and every one of you for that gift. It has kept me sober, without the desire to drink, for over six months. To those of you who are struggling, I promise you that it is worth it. Your life gets better when you quit drinking. In my case, I found that I grew up and took on responsibilities that I had been running and hiding from for decades. For the first time in my life, I'm not ashamed of who I am. Our lives can be snuffed out in a heartbeat. What a tragedy it would be for you not to get the chance to see what your life can be like in sobriety! I pray for each and every one of you with all my heart. May you find peaceful rest surrounded by the loving arms of God.
Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.52.42.218
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 07:38 PM -0500
Hi everyone, its Friday night and in order to try and stop my crazy drinking I have alienated all of my friends. I no longer have them. THey are so mad at me that they won't even hang out if I get the urge to. I did it on purpose, I made sure they would all go away. At that time I had my boyfriend, we were so close. i thought we would be close forever, and now he is out of my life and its pretty lonley. I am sitting here thinking of something I can say or do to have him back, but its pretty much ruined and having him over tonight would just prolong the inevitable. He doesn't love me anymore. He doesn't look at me like he used to. To top it off, his cousin hit me last week in some crazed rage, which wasn't alcohol related on my part, it was him and his hate for me, his jealousy or whatever else. Now, we can't be friends, in order to be he would have to give up his cousin for me and I guess I am not worth it at all to him. He throwns all of the times that I was drunk and did this or that. The worst part about this whole thing is I am so dependant on him. I go up and down with missing him so much and then hating him. I guess its going to take time. I hope it all gets easier quickly.
Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.119.56.188
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 09:42 PM -0500
LisaM get to a meeting.
Member: Carrie S.
Location: Los Angeles
Remote Name: 67.119.56.188
Date: April 02, 2004
Time: 10:17 PM -0500
I'm sorry, I don't mean to be rude. It's just that I know you can't get sober sitting alone feeling sorry for yourself. I tried it, it doesn't work. Without a program of recovery, whether it's AA or something else, you are never going to change.
Member: Demetri
Location: NJ
Remote Name: 67.82.109.97
Date: April 03, 2004
Time: 04:33 AM -0500
((LISA M)) CONGRATULATIONS ON 12 DAYS SOBER!!! I've posted to you before. You sound like things are getting alittle better at least with your outlook and that's great. I've been told to chase my recovery like I did my drink or drug. I say this to you because by going to the rooms you will learn more about the process of staying sober. I have only found ACCEPTANCE and LOVE in the rooms of AA. Working with the steps requires getting a sponsor and a network of other sober people you can fall back on and talk to when thing are rough. You say you gave up your old friends and that's great, so now go out and make some new ones. You don't have anything to lose. If you're shy don't share right away. I was sure I was never going to fall again - then I stopped going to meetings and relapsed. I sounded just like you I honestly never wanted to pick it up again and was so sure I never would - Then Bam the shit hit the fan again and because I didn't have a sponsor or a network or the faces of the people in the rooms (who I now feel depend on me to stay sober just as I do them), I went back out there for some more self education and found every bottom has a lower bottom. All I really know is I don't know how to stay sober and I need to take suggests from other's that have done it before me, it's taken me accepting that fact to do it. I am speaking as someone who hated the rooms I've found every excuse I could not to go but I realize now that those excuses were my disease trying to keep itself alive. The steps are a process that are working today for over 2 million people. I'm sorry for the lecture it must be the father in me. CONGRATULATIONS!!! again Lisa keep going strong!!! -Demetri
Member: Jeff M.
Location: midwest
Remote Name: 63.231.189.59
Date: April 03, 2004
Time: 07:33 AM -0500
Lisa, pick up a phone book, find an AA meeting and go to it. I think I remember a few months ago you posted that you went to a meeting. Maybe it wasn't what you hoped or expected? That is very common. Persevere! Try ANOTHER group, and another and another if necessary. Get yourself a female sponsor you can trust and then let go. Please don't give up after one try. AA offers HOPE.
Member: Shari G
Location: Massillon, OH
Remote Name: 24.140.72.46
Date: April 03, 2004
Time: 12:12 PM -0500
Hi, Shari, alcoholic here. Why did I start going to meetings??? Because it was the only place I could get my hands on a Big Book. It was the only place I could find a sponser to help me work the 12 steps. It was the only place I could meet women just like myself and see how much we had in common. It was the only place I could help other alcoholics. Instead of sitting around saying poor me, poor me, pour me another drink, I learned to get out of myself and learn to grow. The Big Book say, "Rarely have we seen a person fail who had THOUROUGHLY followed our path." I had lost everything when I came into the rooms of AA and now I am slowly building my life back. I have made the best friends I could ever possibly imagine! I will be forever grateful to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous for giving me back my life.
Member: Aimeeb
Location: Kennewick
Remote Name: 68.185.50.232
Date: April 03, 2004
Time: 04:36 PM -0500
Hi, Aimee here, first time to an online meeting. I have 92 days of sobriety. Thanks to all of you for sharing your stories here, many have helped me today.
Member: PAUL P.
Location: MICHIGAN
Remote Name: 67.167.190.237
Date: April 03, 2004
Time: 08:37 PM -0500
Well six months sober. The first 90 days were hell. I was so angry that I had to quit. But then things started getting better and positive things were happening. Now, in the last couple weeks, the cravings are coming back and they are as bad as when I first quit. I do not understand what is happening to me. I dont understand how they can resurface so quickly and with so much pain.
Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 69.3.218.44
Date: April 04, 2004
Time: 03:28 AM -0400
Paul, Where are you in working the steps? Don't mistake going to meetings as being the program of action (12 steps). Meetings are just a part of the program. For me, when the madness was upon me (obsession to drink) I found it had a lot to do with my current state of agnostism... lack of belief in a higher power. If I don't surrender my will on a daily basis, I find myself sitting on the fence once again, questioning the power that keeps me sober. I'm armed with three facts when I surrender each today. 1. I physically can't handle alcohol anymore (acceptance) 2. God's will helps me get me through the day if I seek him (surrender and faith) 3. When I help others, I think less of me and more of my fellows (love, forgivness, unselfishness) The steps work when your ready. At first, humiliation (consequences of our actions when we drink) is what brings us closer to the act of surrender. (Step 1) ... Humilty and surrender is what keeps us sober through God's grace ... Steps 2 through 12. Knowing our weakness makes us stronger. Hope that helps Best wishes to all.
Member: Demetri
Location: NJ
Remote Name: 67.82.109.97
Date: April 04, 2004
Time: 01:46 PM -0400
((Paul)) Unfortunately cravings still come and go for me. At those times I find it is really important for me to "rewind the tape" and remember the pain I went through during my drunks. It's so easy for me to start obsessing again it sometimes scares me. Then I remember I am powerless and that this will pass, while I wait for it to pass I call people or get to a meeting. From what I've been told the cravings may never "go away" but that we can be freed from "the obsession to use" One more thing I keep in mind the average physical craving last 7 seconds when I let myself feed into it it can last much longer even day and make me feel quite hopeless-but I don't have to feed into it. GOD BLESS and keep coming back. -Demetri