Member: Kel
Location: Iowa City, IA
Remote Name: 12.216.52.171
Date: February 29, 2004
Time: 03:15 PM -0500

Comments

Hi! I hope everyone had a great weekend! I'm coming up on a week of sobriety and I am very happy. This past weekend was great. I went to an AA meeting yesterday and we talked about the first step. We talked about having an unmanageable life with alcohol in it. I spoke about how my life is very manageable. I have to have an agenda and I follow it to a tee, but I can handle little surprises in my day. But if life throws me a curveball (which I have had HUGE ones!) my life suddenly becomes unmanageable, and I turn to alcohol which makes my life extremely unmanageable. So I have to learn to handle the curveballs in my life and manage them without having to turn to alcohol to make it unmanageable. Jim, I also had lunch with my ex this past weekend. It went really well. Just like nothing has ever changed. We both told each other that we missed each other. Although he said he doesn't think I need AA, so I asked him what I should do, and he said he didn't know. I do need AA, and I am going to keep it in my life. I told him that between us, if it's meant to be, then it's meant to be. But in the meanwhile, I'm going to live and have AA be a big part in my life! I hope everyone has a great week! Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers as my step-mother's dad is undergoing a double bypass heart surgery tomorrow. Please pray for him also Thank you!


Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.167.66
Date: February 29, 2004
Time: 04:57 PM -0500

Comments

hi name is stphen and im 9 months sober and my topic is dont let any tell you your not worth it because you are worth it,and im saying you are and how do you feel on this topic..


Member: Gage
Location: swamp
Remote Name: 64.12.96.103
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 01:55 AM -0500

Comments

My name is Gage and I'm an alcoholic. I am also a father. There is nothing my child can do that will ever make him not my child. He may someday turn away from me. Because I love him, I'll let him do that, but my door and my arms will always be open to him. Stephen, you are a Child of God and that is your inheritance in the world. You are worth every bit as much as any of his other children and no one can take your inheritance away from you. Not even you. Peace be with you.


Member: Lori P
Location: North Carolina
Remote Name: 24.25.48.181
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 01:59 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone my name is Lori. I picked up my 30 day chip this past Friday. Why is it that the first 30 days seem to be the longest and the toughest?! This is my second time around at trying to stay sober. I stayed sober for 4 years the first go around. My mistake was that I didn't continue going to AA meetings or get a sponser. So, needless to say, I thought four years a long enough cure and I tried drinking again. It's true what they say, the first drink will get you drunk. Now I am going everynight to AA meetings, sometimes twice a day, whatever it takes. I have a sponser and great friends in AA that I can talk to anytime of the day! Boy, being sober doesn't take all your problems away, but at least you can deal with them somewhat sainly instead of running to a bottle! Thanks for listening!


Member: rae m
Location: Ontario
Remote Name: 65.93.49.120
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 05:25 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, I am Rae, and I am an alcoholic. Today is my third day. Tomorrow will be my first meeting. I am so scared. But I know deep in my heart I need a meeting. Please God someone help me! I am worried about tomorrow because I am already starting to think about going out. I need a meeting!


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 05:44 AM -0500

Comments

5 months today! Wow. 5 months last night I was drunk and arrested and hopeless in so many ways. Why me was running thru my head, but also was the statement "finally!" Finally I have the reason I need to get sober. Finally I have the reason I need to get my life back. Finally I can be the mom I want to be. No more excuses, no more thinking that drink will help when times get bad. It has worked. It hasn't been easy. But it seems like I've been sober forever! Thank you SO much for the posts letting me know that I can NEVER drink again. Reading these posts gives me that daily reminder of what alcohol can do. After four years and returning to the old ways. That could happen to any and all of us! Congratulations on returning to AA! Here's to another sober 24 for all of us. And thank you again to all!


Member: LennyG
Location: Sunnyside,Washington
Remote Name: 63.160.124.113
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 09:02 AM -0500

Comments

Hello all, I'm lenny and I am a drunk. Rae M. Fear is part of healling.Use the serinity prayer to get you through your day.Make an effort to smile.Anthing that will brighten your day.Make a funny face and laugh at yourself if you have to.Do whatever it takes to get you to that metting.You will be glad you did. Well hope you all have a good 24.Cause you know sometimes that's all we can make at a time. God Bless Lenny


Member: dave mc
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.177
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 09:45 AM -0500

Comments

Good morning from Canada, David, alcoholic here. I've got 9 months today. It was not me, must be something to this program. Live and let live, I'm trying, I have lost a marriage of almost 20 years, my ex has a new partner, I hate that! Even worse, I think he is a good man, my kids like him and I think he does well by them. I am not worried about losing them,(or maybe just a bit worried) I just don't want to share them. They are the only people in my life for whom I have real love. The kind were giving is easy. Some say we stopped growing when we started drinking, I did, being sober has not stopped me from betraying others trust. I think that for now at least "live and let live" has to include staying the heck out of others lives (not my kids). To the people just beginning, whatever this is, it's better than what I had. I wanted to be dead. Not now, Thanks


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.174
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 09:58 AM -0500

Comments

Lets examine the saying or cliche "Live and Let Live" This concept has been thrown around tables in AA for years. Sometimes used well, often missused. Like any saying, catch phrase or cliche, the well intended thought behind it becomes missused or even worse watered down. A cliche is a Phrase that is used excessively and has become a bit meaningless and even irritating. The oringinal meaning of the phrase "Live and Let Live" has to be understood in context to our problems as alcoholics. We must always be reminded, especially the newcomer, that we, as alcoholics were constantly concerned with everyone elses character defects before looking at our own shortcomings. In order to get better and to recover from this disease (not cured by any means) we must first surrender to the fact that we have a problem, a genetic flaw. The simple fact is that we process alcohol differently then normal people. We have found through experience that no human power can relieve the mental obsession which makes us think we can drink normally (mental disease) and that only a power GREATER THAN OURSELVES can REMOVE the OBSESSION through WORKING A PROGRAM Of RIGOROUS ACTION as prescribed by WORKING THE STEPS. Once we seek help in working the steps with a sponsor. The spiritual maladjustment WE ALL EXPERIENCED IN THE PAST straightens out and we get better mentally and physically. We learn this by WORKING steps 4,5,6,7,8,9. WE LEARN that we focus on our faults, not the faults of others. We LIVE and let live. There is one catch though. And this is where using the catch phrase "live and let live" comes with the burden of resonsibility in using it. Even though we "let Live", we also don't allow others in or out of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous to negatively affect our sobriety or the sobriety of AA as a whole. After all we are dealing with alcoholics in this program. There are just as many sick "DRY DRUNKS" in this program as there are Former Drunks with good sobriety. When Live and Let live is mentioned in the spirit of "cleaning my own side of the street" it is a good saying. But when "live and Let Live" is thrown about by sick members to justify their complacency in working the program honestly, it becomes cliche.


Member: KimM
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 66.245.4.227
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 10:22 AM -0500

Comments

(rae m from ontario) Tomarrow will take care of itself and it will come soon enough. Take care of yourself today, Live only for today. One Day At A Time(ODAAT). If you can't get to a meeting today(F2F), then keep yourself busy. There are many links out there that will put you incontact online with a Big Book. Get a jumpstart and start reading it. Keep yourself busy: clean the house and if you have done it clean it again. Take a lot of showers, treat yourself with favorite foods or favorite movie. Just keep busy and tomarrow will come. My prayers are with you on this fantastic journey into a new way of life. "Live and let Live" I am an alcoholic and by my higher power(God) I live a sober life free from guilt, shame and character defects that would entice my life to be like any other. Let Live- what you do in your life is your business and not mine until our paths cross and your opinions effect my sobriety. Then it is my business, while I remake my concious contact with my HP(GOD). God Bless and have a Sober Day


Member: MJ
Location: Japan
Remote Name: 218.121.220.146
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 10:47 AM -0500

Comments

Rae from Ontario (where I once hailed from): I just past 60 days. One thing that really helped has been breaking old too familiar patterns. Patterns like stopping off to have "just" one drink, meeting favourite drinking pals and the like. My biggest hurdle had been getting from work to the train sober - once on the train I could get home OK. Once I could break that link, then getting that first drink was just that more difficult - it wasn't that difficult since I live in Japan and booze almost flows from fountians it is so easy to get. But since I wanted to stop drink, I would (and do) set up hurdles or roadblocks, anything to establish a break from my past drinking behaviour. Don't know if this helps you, but I'm rooting for ya from all the way over here. MJ


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 12:05 PM -0500

Comments

Kim M, "Treat yourself with favourite foods"!!!!!!!!!!! Now hold on Girl, don't be too over entheusiastic. Since joining the fellowship nearly 7 months ago I've gained 24 Kg. Thinking about dropping out and joining Weight Watchers. Only kiddin' (about droppin' out) lol Stay Sober Bob w.


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 12:36 PM -0500

Comments

That should have been lb. not Kg. (damn metrication)


Member: DaveT
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 129.9.163.106
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 03:44 PM -0500

Comments

Hi from Germany. Dave an acholoic here. It is my 12th day of sobriety and boy do I feel great. Thank you all for your posts. I am keeping busy with work, emails to the people I met at AA last week and building relationships with my traveling companions who don't drink. I can hardly wait to get back home to see my family and my newly adopted AA brotherhood. Hope you all have a great day and I will be praying for all of you having difficulty with overcoming the urge to drink. God Bless you.


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.219.65
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 07:56 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy Alcoholic here. Well. My husband just bought a bunch of crap we cant afford from EBAY. I want to scream at him. Buying is one of his quirks. Just as procrastination is and being very affectionate and loving with me and my son. SO, it is hard to stay mad. Live and let live I think may mean sometimes that we have to let others live and learn from their mistakes just as I had to. I dunno though. I sure feel like I could run this show a lot better than most people out there attempting to. I know I know, delusions of grandeur. <<<DaveMc>>> since I first saw your post I could tell the kids are a huge important part of your life. Sharing them is tough and selfless. Good job on doing so. I have to share my son part time with his bio Dad even though I dont like the guy half the time. But I know in my heart what I need to do for Jacob (son) sakes. He needs a relationship with his Dad and if - heaven forbid ;) - his Dad gets married I have to share Jacob with the step mom. That will be dang tough. But I see his Dad sharing him with his step dad(my husband) every day. Like your kids step dad, my husband loves Jacob like a son and treats him incredibly well. anyway... I was at my moms this weekend. SHe has boat load of pain pills that she usually keeps locked up due to my pilfering antics. They werent locked and I stole some pain pills and took them. I havent drank. But I know I was not supposed to take those pills. Now I dont know what to do. !!!!!!Any advice is appreciated.!!!!!!!!! I spoke with my sponsor today and did not tell her. I think that is the first order of business hey? I feel like a piece of sh--. I know it was wrong and all. I just really wanted to feel the way they used to make me feel. THough they really didnt do much for me this time, how ironic and maddening. May your day be filled with grace from your HP. Kathy


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Remote Name: 198.115.160.193
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 09:27 PM -0500

Comments

Live and Let Live For most of my life I was pretty certain that my opinions were the correct ones. Naturally since mine were correct I was equally certain that if someone else had different opinions they should change them to coincide with mine. What this saying means to me is that I have to be willing to admit that first, my opinions might not be correct at all, and second that even if they are correct for me, they might not be correct for someone else. My truth is not necessarily someone else's truth. I have to be willing to let someone else have their truth even if I think theirs is wrong. Like any saying, this one can be interpreted in many different ways depending on who you are at the time. My opinion is that no one interpretation is the correct one. Katd, I can't give you any advice that you probably aren't giving yourself already. But I can tell you about my best friend. She was my friend for twenty-seven years. She hadn't had a drink in over six years. She took some painkillers (Percocet) the night of December 7th because she wanted the feeling they gave her. She's dead. I miss her terribly, but I bet not half as much as her husband and children do.


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 09:30 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy - I think you know what you need to do re taking the pills. Or at least where to start. You said it. Start with your sponsor and go from there. But do take action. Ed


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.12.96.103
Date: March 01, 2004
Time: 11:00 PM -0500

Comments

Hi All, Live and Let Live is sometimes a tough thing to do. It was really easy when I was new to judge everyone else in the room. People, places and things really bothered me. People told me to read acceptance and to identify with others and not compare. It passed as I started working the steps. The thing that makes AA such a great program is because we are free to work it the way we want to and there are many ways to work your AA program. Just because Bill or Bob do it different then me does not mean their way is wrong. When I start thinking things like man, that guy has absolutely no program, I'm not living and letting others live. I'm trying to control them instead of looking at myself. It is great to read (ALL) of you, keep coming back! ((Katd)), sorry on your slip, Let us know how your talk with your sponsor went. Maybe re-do your step 1 with her and make it powerless over a drink or a drug... just a thought... GodBless, Kelly :)


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.6.113
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 01:23 AM -0500

Comments

katd, You know what to do. Honesty is very important, but sometimes gets us nowhere unless we get to work. The cold fact is we can justify anything if given the oportunty... give the dependance problem to God, let him handle it. Pick yourself up, brush yourself off and get back to work. Quit feeling sorry for yourself! That will kill you eventually.


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 64.12.96.103
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 05:04 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone. Especially Katd! I've been involved and reading these posts everyday for 5 months. Since the day I got sober. I've truly learned from and appreciated your posts Kathy. Your help for myself and others is from your heart and is SO needed everyday! Thank you! So hey, you slipped up. Don't beat yourself up over it. That could be even more harmful. Just use it as a reminder next time you are in that position... and hey, tell your mom to not have them out if that helps. Just jump back on that AA bandwagon and work it for YOU! We all have faults and if I had to take all the good you did and subtract that little slip, you are WAY AHEAD OF THE GAME! Don't move backwards, go forward and staying sober! Here's to another sober 24 for all!


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 07:31 AM -0500

Comments

My mom sent me this and it put a smile on my face. If you need a little "feel good" ditty today. Look it up. http://www.planetgiggle.com


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.12.96.103
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 08:33 AM -0500

Comments

Hey Ann, Thanks that was a nice site! Made me smile too. Congrats on 5 months and keep posting, I really love your posts! Kelly :)


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.133
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 11:25 AM -0500

Comments

HI, Bill here,alcoholic from Arizona. "Live and let live" along with two other original slogans can be found at the end of Chapter 9, "The Family Afterward" The background was that a wife nagged a recovering alcoholic about his smoking and drinking too much coffee. He finally fell into a fit of anger and went back out. He was wrong. But he did make it back. The wife saw that she was wrong in making a burning issue out of one matter when the more serious ailments were being rapidly cured. In Alcoholics Anonymous we deal with alcohol. Even then, if you choose to drink that is your business. When you decide not to drink.. Then that becomes our business. That is the reason for the slogan, "Live and let Live" along with "First Things First" (sobriety) and "Easy Does It"... but do it.. :) Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. Love ya, Bill


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 67.73.140.146
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 01:32 PM -0500

Comments

My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. I've never found myself all that enamored with the slogans in AA, thus have some difficulty with talking much about using them on a practical basis. Unfortunately, the song "Live and Let Die" and images of James Bond keep playing in my head when thinking about this slogan, LOL! Which reminds me that our options are outlined in the first two steps. Step one describes the path we were on with alcohol, the path that leads to confinement, insanity, and eventually a premature death. In fact I was already spiritually and emotionally dead when I got to AA. The second step describes our other option, a way to LIVE, a spiritual solution to our problem. He said I could choose death or choose life. Choosing life came highly recommended. And so I pass that recommendation on to you - CHOOSE LIFE! ==== Rae - did you get to that meeting? Hope you did. ==== Kathy - As has been stated, do talk with your sponsor. Joe - joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 67.73.140.146
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 01:42 PM -0500

Comments

One clarification - when I say Choose Life in this context, I mean choose the life of the spiritual solution to alcoholism as laid out in the rest of the Twelve Steps and in the Big Book. It is the decision in Step Three...


Member: Becky R
Location: Central Oregon
Remote Name: 66.62.141.121
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 02:28 PM -0500

Comments

Good Morning, Becky, Alcoholic/Addict. Live and Let Live. I thought I was, but I know what happens when I have been thinking....It's not good. I have been judgmental about my family and what they SHOULD be doing according to what I think, and fellow AA members SHOULD be working a program like I work. Well, who am I to think these things? If I am judgmental of others that means I am judging God's work. I need to tune myself up. Katd - thanks for sharing. I have been going through a smiliar situation. My aunt, who lives next door is sick, and has lots of pills around. Sunday night I decided I wanted to take a few of her tranquilizer pills and keep them just in case. I din't, but I thought about it. That is so my addict thinking. I am scared these thoughts have crept back in so easily. I am glad today I am able to identify that my thoughts are messed up and to do what I know, call my sponsor, call fellow NA/AA members and re-work my steps. I have been cranky since Monday morning and didn't know why. I couldn't pinpoint it until you shared, so thank you. I won't take any pills from her or from anybody. I am an alcoholic/addict - one is too many, a thousand will never be enough, no matter what drug or alcohol it is. Becky in Central Oregon


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.117.217.231
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 03:11 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy alcoholic here. Was supposed to see sponsor last night but she did not show up to themeeting. I will tell her. I know deep inside I have to start over again. I really dont want to. Not sure why it is a big deal to start over??? Ego? Pride? THanks for all your input on the issue. I really wanted to sweep it under the rug and just keep going. But I need to fae up to the fact that pills are a drug of choice for me and as was pointed out here can kill me. I am not feeling sorry for myself I dont think. Just hoping for some support for my denial ;-) Oh well. Glad you are all honest and glad I have this site to run things by. My spiritual health is not where it should be and obviously it is not working at this point. Back to step one, day 2 again. Part of me thinks that if I have to start again why not do it with a drink. I need to admit that and be accountable for it. I know that is crazy and I cant act onit. Stopping drinking again is not something I am even sure I can do again. So. No drinks. No more pills. WIll talk to sponsor and make amends to my Mom. I am going to be stuffed to the gill with humble pie. love you all. Kathy


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 07:01 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy - Not sure you need to start over with a new sobriety date. But I'm new to this too and others here will give you better advice. As I remember your original post, you did not take a drink. This is ALCOHOLICS Annonymous. You made a serious mistake; one you need to make amends for as soon as possible. You seem committed to doing that. Good. Hang in there Kathy, we are for you. Ed


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.133
Date: March 02, 2004
Time: 07:08 PM -0500

Comments

HI Bill here, alcholic from Arizona, Kat D You did the most natural thing for an alcoholic/addict to do. You took a couple of pills under stress. I am not saying that was ok. It wasn't. But what I am saying is, all you have lost is your sobriety date or what ever.. You know what to do. You still have that knowledge. Just renew your faith in whatever program you are working. Love ya.. Bill


Member: Josette
Location: island in the south
Remote Name: 68.58.177.206
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 03:54 AM -0500

Comments

Am new here and today is my sobriety date! There were some very good posts here on the topic. Things people do can really upset me, and I do tend to over react. In fact the things God does upset me also. I just don't like the way this world is, maybe I'm neurotic. Live and let live to me at this first day of sobriety means that I need to just accept the fact that people have their own way of looking and being in this world, and I can't allow their actions or words mess up my serenity and get me into a state of anger, resentment, and defiance that could endanger my sobriety. Easy to say but I will need a lot of practice with this one. I do have a question if anyone could help here. I have been in the program before but was not ready or whatever. I am embarrassed to go back to meetings because of my past failures and I hate to see the people I knew at meetings because of that. And I am just scared. How do I get past this fear so that I can go back? I think the worst part is before meetings when many people are congregated outside the meeting room talking. It's hard for me to get up the courage to walk past. Thanks to you all. Jo


Member: Ann
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.208.101
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 04:12 AM -0500

Comments

See what I mean Katd? You are beating yourself up over a pill. By posting your digression here first, you already had taken that first step towards healing and adjustment of self. Do not go backwards! Keep moving forward while figuring out what needs to be done to help yourself thru this. You know, your definition of the drug you took matches that for smoking. It is an addictive drug that can kill you. Personally, I don't smoke, but I'm sure that some of the people who post here regularly smoke and I wonder if everytime they take a puff they move their birthday? One step at a time. One action at a time. One day at a time. I'm proud of you for the steps you have taken. Live and let live.


Member: Bob W
Location: Grimsby UK
Remote Name: 62.254.0.30
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 05:17 AM -0500

Comments

Josette, There's nothing to be afraid of in attending a f2f. People will welcome you back with open arms. Hell, we all slip or make mistakes at sometimes. Just keep on trying ODAAT and get your arse to a meeting. KCB


Member: Andrew M
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.177
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 11:41 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, David, alcoholic. (still seems strange to write/say/admit that) Got my 9 month chip yesterday. I am thinking that I am a dry drunk. I go to lots of meetings, but that is all I do, the steps/program is beyond me right now. I neither live, nor let live. I do try,try,try. I was a practising alcoholic for 30 years. It is nice to not be hung over. My brain seems to be working better in some ways. But my life is still pretty unmanageable. My days are not productive, I still lie, am afraid and discontented. Katd, I wish I had advice, comfort for you. Does it help at all to know that everyone here is/has been there? Take care everyone.


Member: Andrew M
Location: canada
Remote Name: 129.100.110.177
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 11:44 AM -0500

Comments

Hi again, I'm David Mc, computer changes. I had to change my name, Andrew is my middle name. Computers!!!!!!


Member: Sheri
Location: wyoming
Remote Name: 209.193.78.58
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 01:12 PM -0500

Comments

Hello all Sheri here been away for awhile but I am still sober it does fell good but my bottom is only coming to me now. My spouse and I have come into this program together. And I know I can not fix or change him. last night my 13 yr old son basically told us NO Tom got in his face I stayed out of it but it got physical and Tom ended up almost choking him out his face has bruises all around his eyes as well as on his chin where he punched him. I feel so inadequate as a mother and a spouse Tom has been physical with me but not yesterday it was both of there faults but Tom is suppose to be the adult as well I feel as though I should have stopped it but I knew that Tom would have turned on me. Its as though I was protecting me instead how f***K is that? Live and Let Live I feel ass though I should run.. I am feeling suicidal and worthless as well as totally f**ked UP I amazingly have not thought about using only about dieing what a mess. I should be looking at all the good but having a hard time finding much I want it all to be over with I am tired of playing all the games I d like some suggestions Sheri


Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.162.83
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 01:33 PM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone and its me stephen 9 months sober and this it to my friend Rae M from ontario,well,I understand how first meeting can be very hard and when i first went i know what you are going throught,because i went to my first meeting about 9 months ago and for me,every meeting is the first,because i never like getting in front of people but i got on my knees and ask my higher power for help and the high powers can be anything you want to be and it works for me every day and i hope this will work or you could ask friends or poeple you know to go with you but most of all remember that we all are here for you and for me the first will take me for a long ride,so i know there can never be a first,so im here for you and im pray to my higher power for you and dont let anyone or anything tell you your not worth it,because you are worth it and if know one has told you today that they love you im telling you I LOve you..God,Bless MY FRIEND.


Member: KellyM
Location: WA
Remote Name: 65.172.199.100
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 03:45 PM -0500

Comments

i think you have to learn that life is more important than booze and that you can make it day to day without it.


Member: DaveT
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 129.9.163.106
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 05:22 PM -0500

Comments

Hi, DaveT an alcholic here. Sheri, I don't know what to say except I will pray for you that God will help you see He cares for you, your son and your husband. Alcohol is deceiving and will want you to beleive this is not true but it is. Please keep in touch through this board.


Member: angiec
Location: Ventura, California
Remote Name: 216.116.104.125
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 07:01 PM -0500

Comments

I also wanted to reply to raem because I understand how hard the first meeting is. I hope that your still here and if not you are always welcome back! My first meeting was tough I just stood outside paralzed and cried. Someone from inside came out and walked me in. I am now almost 6 months sober and even though there are tough times I have never felt better in my life! Please hang in there! Pray, that helped me and to call people. There is going to hard times, I can't sugar coat that, but just know that the good times out weigh the bad by far!!! Hang in there and live and let live....my prays are with you!


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 198.81.26.74
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 08:18 PM -0500

Comments

Cliches become cliches because they are true. Live and let live is a wonderful philosophy. Help where we can and try to do no harm. If at all possible give others what they want. Keep your side of the street clean and let others take care of their side of the street. If no one is hurt let others be themselves. Nothing could be more straight forward and simple.


Member: Laur H.
Location: Aurora, IL
Remote Name: 206.148.80.170
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 08:23 PM -0500

Comments

Laure here and still sober since Feb 12... Rae m, My first meeting was just a couple of weeks ago. I was scared, humiliated, and tearful. I have come to feel God's presence in these meetings more so than when I used to go to church. The others in the room are kind and experienced. I hear God speaking through them. Good luck tomorrow. You are not alone, God is with you and there is nothing to fear. No one is going to laugh at you or say anything to you to make you feel small. They've been through every imaginable life event. We are all in this disease together. God bless you. God bless all of you on this site. Good night.


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Remote Name: 198.115.160.187
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 08:25 PM -0500

Comments

I am sorry, I know I am only supposed to post once a week here, but I felt that I just had to respond to Sheri---Sheri, you can't fix Tom it's true. I think you have to ask yourself if you are willing to have him get "physical" with you and to beat up on your child.---Once men start doing that they rarely stop without help and it usually gets worse. I've been there Sheri.---- Is there an abuse hotline or women's center in your area you can call for advice?-- Please think about it. Whatever happens I know you can stay sober through it. love to you...


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: March 03, 2004
Time: 09:49 PM -0500

Comments

Josette - I recently went thru exactly what you're going thru. Had gone to meetings for several weeks last Spring before dropping out and drinking for several more months. This January I decided to give it another try, but worried about seeing my old acquaintences. Decided my first meeting back would be a large meeting I used to attend -- a speakers meeting with sometimes around a 100 in attendance -- where I would be lost in the crowd. Was recognized by a couple people who also remembered my name. Turned out, that felt good. I've now been welcomed back to all the meetings I used to attend. No problem at all. The first time out you might try timing it so the pre-meeting group outside will have gone in by the time you get there. SHERI - You say you and your husband went into the program together, but you don't say whether he's staying with it. If he's still in you might try dealing with him in terms of AA -- need to deal with his anger, etc. If not and you're afraid for yourself or your son seek help elsewhere. Wish I had an answer for you, but only you know what your situation is. And only you can decide what's right. But staying in an abusive situation is not right. Ed


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.225.27
Date: March 04, 2004
Time: 12:39 AM -0500

Comments

Andrew, What you suffer from is called "untreated alcoholism" I know, because that is what I suffered from for many years staying "dry" and going to meetings. In my case, my alcoholism was left untreated and eventually caused me to drink again. It's hard to understand, it baffeled me for years. Many times, the symptoms of our disease are harder to deal with when we're sober. Remeber this disease is three-fold. 1. disease of the body (craving) 2. disease of the mind (obsession) 3. disease of the soul or spiritual malady (disharmony with God, ourselves, and other people) Think about this. Alcohol is one remedy to ease the symptons of alcoholism. Some of the syptoms of alcoholism are fear, loneliness, resentment, anger, jealousy, envy, sloth, false pride, disharmony with everything and everybody including God. When my ism was at it's worse, I use to drink, and many of those problems went away temporarily. Like putting a bandaid on a gaping wound, or like taking aspirin for cancer. ... you see it's the ism that get us... (I,Self,Me) Once I found a better remedy in the twelve steps (process to produce a phycic change) the self-imposed crisis called alcoholism vanished, completely. Once I DID THE WORK neccesary, I got better and better and better and better............ Not to say it was EASY, it wasn't, but along with all HONEST WORK comes the fruits of my labor, sobriety, peace of mind, serenity, not more material things, better relationships, or more prestige or fame. Those things might come as an extra blessing, but can't be primary objective. I'm going to say something that might sound insensitive, but I'd be doing you a diservice to tell you anything but the truth. You might not be ready yet. It's really all about surrender. I was a fence sitter for years, mainly afraid to do the real work involved. I honestly didn't hit bottom hard enough and had to go were I went and do what I had to do (drink more)to get to where I am now. But that was just me. My only advise to you is to get to work. Do what you don't want to do, do the work. Get a good sponsor who is grounded in the Big Book and work the steps with him. These guys are out there. They're usually the happy guys who go out of their way to help others, cause it not only helps keep them sober, but they really find joy in helping others. Put in as much effort in sobriety (WORK) as you did in drinking and you will go far and achieve something you never expected. You will be proud to bring you with you where ever you go.


Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 63.135.65.212
Date: March 04, 2004
Time: 10:26 AM -0500

Comments

Sheri- I have been in your same shoes and have walked thousand of miles in them. You are not alone. I have looked up and found some web sites and phone numbers for you. I did this and you can do it too. Life in Sobriety is a great joy. I no longer want to committ sucide, I want to live and I do the best I can do every day. This is only by suggestion or advice that you asked for on March 3rd. Get to the AA face to face meetings and share with the other women, you might find that there will one or two in your same circumstances. Secondly here are some sites and numbers: National Domestic Violence Hotline, 1-800-787-SAFE, 1-800-787-3224, 905-755-5481 or www.vcn.com; www.phenomenalwomen.com; euronet.nl/women.com Get the help YOU need first and then you will be able to help your child. I need you in my life! My prayers are with you and I will ask my God to give you the help you need along this fantastic journey into AA.


Member: CharP
Location: charlotte, mi
Remote Name: 65.43.38.144
Date: March 05, 2004
Time: 05:04 PM -0500

Comments

Live and Let Live. That is kind of a struggle for me. You see, this is the first day of my new life. I have repeated this cycle a couple of times. I am ashamed and embarresed. I don't know why I keep going thru this yo-yo effect. I have a good husband, 2 out of 3 good children, the oldest, 16, gives me hell. I cannot keep hiding behind excuses. So, today, I want to take responsibility for my own actions and move on to a sober life. It isn't going to be stress free,who's life is, but I want it to be mine. I want to regain control. so, with the help of you all, plus I will find a local meeting when I am done hiding, I hope to be doing what I am supposed to be doing, going thru the program, because I want to go thru the program. I want to be sober!!!! I am done messing around!!! Wish me the best and godspeed because I am on a journey and alot of challenges that I need to face head on!!!


Member: Grateful to be sober
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 216.86.80.12
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 08:35 AM -0500

Comments

(CharP) It takes what it takes to get us here. There is no shame here over that. I myself stumbled before I got it right. I still hadn't let go absolutely, still hadn't admitted that I was alcoholic, still hadn't surrendered to my higher power and begged for his help. Many 24 hours later I am still sober with His help. There is no right or wrong way to get it right. You sound like you really want it this time and I wish you luck. Keep coming back here, please find a meeting and a sponsor. Some do temporary sponsorship also until you find someone you have a good fit with. My personal email address is lilitaliangal@yahoo.com if you need it. God Bless.


Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 165.121.149.30
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 10:14 AM -0500

Comments

Hieveryone,well good topic,live and let live and there are alot of banners and especally this comes to mind <I am responsible...when anyone,anywhere,reaches out for help,I want the hand of A.A. always to be there.And for that: I am responsiable> and if anyone needs to talk I can be reach at fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com and love to talk so hope to here from everyone


Member: Wes
Location: Anaheim
Remote Name: 68.65.67.115
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 10:37 AM -0500

Comments

I see a lot of people sharing. But no mention of the big book


Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Remote Name: 209.86.98.226
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 01:43 PM -0500

Comments

Wes - Kim M and Jim R mentioned the Big Book. AZBill mentioned the Big Book, but it is "hidden" in reference to particular chapters and verses. And I mentioned the Big Book. http://www.aa.org/bigbookonline/ http://uts.cc.utexas.edu/~clyde/BillW/BB_Introduction.html There are some links to the Big Book online, though I personally prefer to read it in print.


Member: Ann Q
Location: Seattle USA
Remote Name: 198.81.26.74
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 04:35 PM -0500

Comments

Hi all, This week's topic seems like it would be fairly simple to comment on. However, since I am very newly sober (50 days on Monday), my brain is quite foggy and "Live and let live" still baffles me along with many other things. So, I just go to meetings every day, meet frequently with my sponsor, and don't drink. I don't feel compelled to drink (yet), so something must be working. Thanks for your help. Ann Q


Member: LennyG
Location: Sunnyside,Washington
Remote Name: 63.160.124.162
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 05:47 PM -0500

Comments

RaeM, How did your meeting go? Hope you went and found a new happiness.I've been praying for you.Don't give up on yourself and people will not give up on you. Take care,Best wishes Lenny


Member: katd
Location: so cal
Remote Name: 67.115.10.87
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 06:50 PM -0500

Comments

hi all, kathy alcoholic here. Good to read all these great posts. To (((Sheri - I would say, protect your kid no matter what. That is your primary responsibility. Your circumstances suck but the child needs your help!!! That from an adult who was a child that no one bothered to protect from abuse.))) The Big Book is great reading and the source for this program. There, I mentioned the Big Book. I am kinda at an angry place right now. (in case it went unnoticed) I started over with my sobriety date as per sponsors suggestion and my heart. (3/1/04 if you want to know) Now I know pills are not an option, booze is not, food is not, men are not, so I am feeling mad, as insane as this is, that now I have nothing. Yes I know there is this program and God. That is honky dory when I am sane and reasonable. But when I am in that alcoholic mode even that pisses me off. I am doing lots of reading of the 12x12 and BB. My sponsor has me doing step work, I go to my meetings. (only one so far this week which sucks and may be partly why I am so cranky). I hope that relief is in sight. I want that spiritual awakening so my upstairs neighbors noise doesnt make me what to scream or my husbands usual self does not royally piss me off. I guess I needed to vent here. I try to keep it positive but sometimes I just need to get stuff out and this is a safe place for me to do so. I hope that is ok. If it is inappropriate let me know! My prayers to all alcoholics and especially Sheri and her family.


Member: Ed
Location: VA
Remote Name: 68.100.37.88
Date: March 06, 2004
Time: 07:36 PM -0500

Comments

Kathy - Great to hear from you, anger and all. You did the right thing and I'm happy for you. I, too, have had a tough week staying sober. I never really hit a hard bottom, but I did have a couple pretty good reasons for quitting alcohol. For me, they were to improve my marriage, which was in bad shape, and improve my health -- I'd had heart arrhythmia problems, which seemed to have been solved, and I wanted to avoid a repeat. Tuesday I was reassured that my marriage was a long way from good. Came really close to drinking after a blow up. Then yesterday, my cardiologist told me it was back to square one and put me back on blood thinners to avoid a stroke. Since then, my thinking has been in the "oh, what's the use" mode. Pretty much decided I would just go ahead and drink. But I didn't, and with a meeting in an hour or so and liquor stores closed in Virginia tomorrow, I'll probably make it through the weekend. For you other RELATIVELY NEW PEOPLE, do you know why I didn't go buy that bottle? Because a couple weeks ago I agreed to make coffee at the Tuesday night meeting I attend. Couldn't think of a way to get out of that gracefully. Also, had a hard time explaining to God why I was giving up. Made sense to me, but I couldn't make it make sense to Him. So, a word of advice to those of you like me who are working on days or weeks, not years. If you want to help protect yourself during those inevitable down times, get involved in service work (make a commitment) and make a habit of clearing your actions with your higher power. Frankly, right now I wish I hadn't. But I did and I'm sober to prove it. Ed


Member: Kim D
Location: Bridgewater
Remote Name: 64.136.26.235
Date: March 07, 2004
Time: 06:40 AM -0500

Comments

Welcome to those of you NEW and those COMING BACK. The slogan "Live and Let Live" allows me to cut the static and stress down in my life that occurrs when I focus on other people and their actions instead of focusing on my own... Bad or unacceptable behavior doesn't have to be condoned or lived with...but I don't have to let it wrap me up, either. I have my hands full with my own stuff.