Member: Lauri M
Location: Ohio
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 07:56 AM
Hi folks! This is my first visit to this site. I have come to realize that I need to quit drinking. Over the last few years, because of life situations, I've been drinking more and more, not socially anymore, but to fill a void in my life. I'm drunk by myself at least 3 times a week. I discovered that emotionally, I am so unfulfilled. All of your comments here have hit so close to home, but I never wanted to face it that I had any problems. Guess now, I do need help. I will continue to visit and hopefully, this will be the first step to sobriety for me. Thank you all for reading this.
Member: bop r
Location: rainbow city
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 10:21 AM
you know your an alcholic when yoou cant avoid diaster or for me Iwould drink only tequilla because I didnt fight with my wife or acertain brand of beer becausee it didnt make as irritable or when you will certainly loose Yor family and you continuue todrink you type like i do
Member: Tim H.
Location: Japan
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 10:40 AM
Hi, everyone. I've been sober now for almost 24 hours, and if I can make it to the nearest meeting tomorrow night, I plan to ask for my one-day chip. I hope a lot of AAs post their own ways of first coming to know that they were alcoholics (i.e. that I am powerless over alcohol and that my life has become unmanageable). My story began the first time I ever drank alcohol. I never drank until after high school when I left home to work out-of-state. My roommate went out drinking every night, so one day I decided to go out with him and find out what drinking was like. We sat at a table in a bar with two lady friends, and I quickly got so obnoxiously drunk that my roommate told me to go home immediately, which I somehow managed to do. To make a long story short, IT WAS 24 YEARS LATER that I finally realized that I can't sanely drink any alcohol at all. Such is the cunning, baffling and powerful nature of our disease. I look forward to reading everyone else's story.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 10:50 AM
Hi Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona and sharing in the spirit of the Preamble..helping other alcoholics achieve sobriety. I know that I am alcoholic because I have the one symptom common in all alcoholics...I cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. It is That simple. The only relief I can get is by absolute abstinence. Period :)
Member: Elizabeth E.
Location: Southeast USA
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 11:03 AM
Hi, my name is Elizabeth and I am an alcoholic! Grateful to be sober and alive today. If you are not sure -"Step over to the nearest barroom and try some controlled drinking. Try to drink and stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It will not take long for you to decide, if you are honest with yourself about it." I took my first drink at 14 and got drunk, threw up and I loved it. I misused that priviledge! It took me 24 years to get here and God brought me thru the back door. I came as "support" for my friend. After hearing others share and going to a weekly speaker meeting, I picked up my white chip on July 17,1993. I found out the fatal nature of my illness. I can't drink like a lady, out of control, the brakes go out, I break out all over town, even in jails! "If you are as seriously alcoholic as I am, I believe there is no middle-of the road solution." I was in a position where life became impossible and I had passed into the region from which there is no return through human aid, I had but two alternatives: One was to go on to the bitter end, blotting out the consciousness of my intolerable situation as best I could; and the other, to accept spiritual help. Because of God, a program of action and a fellowship of people I do believe love me, I am alive and sober. Alcoholics Anonymous works extremely well. It works better when I don't drink!
Member: Kathy D
Location: Am, OH
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 11:43 AM
Hi! I am Kathy and I am an alcoholic. I know I am an alcoholic because when I start drinking I can not stop. My alcoholism progressed over the years...I started out at 18 yrs old as a social drinker, in bars on week-ends with friends. I went from that.. to drinking at home on week-ends then to drinking several nights a week and finally to drinking every day, morning, noon or night it did not matter.
Member: Kim C
Location: BC, Canada(bc_girl@mail.com)
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 11:50 AM
Good morning ((ALL)). It is day 11 of my newly found sobriety. How do I know I am an alcoholic? My realisation came in baby steps...over the past two years my heavy weekend drinking went to more frequent drunks, to daily drinking, to daily drunks....I cannot control my alcohol consumption...the more I drink, the more I want, one beer turns into 15, the next day, I want it again, and on it goes forever. In December 2002 I admitted in my "out loud" voice to myself I was an alcoholic, though really, I knew it already. I have begun working the steps. That is the long version...the reality is, as Bill so succinctly stated above...and I quote..."I cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving. It is That simple. The only relief I can get is by absolute abstinence. Period :)" Peace and Love to ((all)) finding their sobriety...working the steps, or just coming to realise they may have a problem. Thank you for being a part of what is keeping me sober, TODAY. Kim
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 12:49 PM
Hi all, I'm Bob and an alcoholic. When I got here I thought I drank because of my "feelings and life situations", until I found out that alot of people had the same kinds of feelings and life situations I had, but it never occurred to them to drink over them. The reason I drank is because I'm alcoholic, period. I didn't know that the feelings and life situations I was experiencing were basically average and usual (except those "caused" by my alcohol use). It was MY RELATIONSHIP AND REACTION TO MY FEELINGS AND LIFE SITUATIONS, that were abnormal. I had one tool in my toolbox and that was a hammer so all of life's problems looked like nails. The toolbox A.A. has given me has so many different resources in it that I have so many solutions for so many problems/situations, that alcohol no longer looks like a viable problem solver. Thanks to this fellowship (you people) and a G~d of my understanding (even though I really don't understand it, it just works) I seem to stay sober one day at a time. I'm not here for you, you're here for me. That's the way I see this fellowship and that perspective keeps me small but useful. Thanks for letting me share what works for me. Hugs, Bob
Member: Shari
Location: Calif.
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 12:54 PM
Hi Shari here alcoholic. I have good intentions to have a beer when I come home from work. That turns into more and then I go to the strong stuff. I only drink alone as I wouldn't want to embarrass myself around friends or coworkers. I replace the liquor that I drink so no one will know how much I drank. I've been doing this on and off for almost 30 years. That doesn't sound like a casual drinker does it. Today is day one again.
Member: Kim C
Location: BC, Canada(bc_girl@mail.com)
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 01:03 PM
((Shari))...in answer to your question (though I am pretty sure you have already answered it yourself), no, that doesn't sound like a casual drinker. If you are able, look in your phone book under Alcoholics Anonymous...try to find a meeting...listen there, and discover you are not alone. Discover there is a way to stop drinking...for good...if you WANT it. Keep coming back here, this is a wonderful site...full of people, just like me. Oh, by the way...my name is Kim, and I am an alcoholic. Love and peace, Kim
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 01:17 PM
Guess everyone will have a view on this topic - i'ts so huge! I met a bright young guy at his first AA meeting a few months ago, and he wasn't sure if he was an alcoholic or not - he wanted to find out more about the drug and his own relationship with it. That was OK by me and I drove him to and from several meetings before he decided to go out and try some controlled drinking again. Rang me to say all was well - drunk!I said we'd be ready, willing and able to welcome him back when he is ready. It won't be long - and I pray that he doesn't have to hit too low a bottom before he finally accepts he has the disease. As for me - I wasn't sure either - I completed the 20 questions and answered yes to only one or two of them, so I was borderline. After 2 months sober, I did the questionnaire again and could honestly say yes to 16 of the questions. You see, the Denial had gone. Trouble is I have to keep reminding myself that I need the Programme or Denial creeps back in. It's easy after 5 months to say 'I'm OK now, I can manage without it,even try some controlled drinking.' But I have to push those crazy thoughts aside and get on with the Steps, my reading, and going to meetings. I was, am, and always be an alcoholic, albeit now in recovery. Love and peace to all who visit this site. John
Member: Mark C
Location: OH
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 03:12 PM
I guy took me through some of the big book about 8 years ago. I realized then that I was only a potential alcoholic (potential!). I stopped drinking completely for almost a year after that. I was taking zoloft and smoking lots of pot. But I wasn't drinking. When I did start drinking again it was back to getting drunk every day. Six pack or so of beer and weed until I passed out. That was the norm for several years until I started drinking whiskey. Then things started to change. Inside and outside everything just got worse. How I made it through even a single day I do not know. But I did. I worked every day and got drunk every night. A couple of years ago I started staying drunk for two and three days at a time. The depression and anxiety after a binge is horrible. I knew I was an alcoholic the first time a few years ago that I quit drinking for a couple of weeks, couldn't stay stopped and when I started drinking again picked up exactly where I left off. Thanksgiving weekend was my last drink. I've been sober 5 weeks today. I'm praying and reading the big book and hanging out with some sober people. I struggle every day with fear and anxiety. I don't know how to turn it into courage. I need help but I'm afraid I'm too proud to ask for it. Like someone else said, I hope coming to this site and reading and sharing might be a first meaningful step.
Member: carlo
Location: california
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 04:44 PM
Hi, Carlo, Alcoholic here. I read a post from someone on this site the other day that had a link to another site called www.aaprimarypurpose.net, and it is full of good AA information. I thought it would be a good place for beginners to learn about the program, especially if you don't have a sponsor yet. I had gone for years without ever getting a sponsor, and I never really understood the program as it is being explained to me in a AA 4th step workshop now. Also the audio tapes on the above site are finally giving me the in depth meaning of the steps and the program. If I'd have had a sponsor I would have learned this stuff much sooner,but I'm glad to be finally learning it now. Please check out that site!
Member: Cindi P.
Location: Chippewa Falls
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 04:48 PM
Hi I'm Cindi and I'm and alcoholic, I thought I was an alcoholic two years before I stopped. I read the questions in Ann Landers' column and asked people who drank more that I did if I was an alcoholic. One daqy I realized that all the ways I tried to control my drinking left me a person I did not want to be and I asked the space between the ceiling and me to help me because I couldn't stop drinking by myself. At that point I stopped trying to control my drinking by myself and asked for help from people who knew about alcoholism. The next day, my sobriety date, I called my family doctor, and he arranged an appointment with a chemical dependency counselor. And so the story goes. The Doctor's Opinion and Bill's Story have taught me more about the mental, physical, and emotional changes I've been through because of alcohol, with lots of help from my sponsor and time and rereading the material. My sobriety date is October 7, 1989. Thanks HP.
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 06:25 PM
Lessa E here, an alcoholic very grateful to be in recovery. I knew I was an alcoholic from the get-go. My sister was 'cool'. I was not. I begged and begged to get invited to one of the parties for 'cool people' that she'd go to. And she finally relented. I ended up getting drunk, throwing up all over the 'cool people' and wetting my pants. I never, ever got to be 'cool'. But I had found something that made me feel ok. That was the beginning of my drinking as a teenager and I continued for almost 20 years. No matter how much trouble I got in, no matter what the consequences, I could not stop drinking on my own. However, possessing an abundance of both pride and ego, I thought I could. Today it's not important to me when or how I knew I am an alcoholic. What does matter is that I accept it. And that I accept it's an illness which will never, ever go away. It's cunning, baffling, powerful and very, very, very patient. Today it's important that *WE* do something about it. For me, it's God, working the AA steps with a sponsor and the fellowship. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Carlo
Location: Calif.
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 06:37 PM
Hi, Carlo, Alcoholic here. Sorry for posting again, but I just wanted to add that this website has been very helpful to me also. I came here as I would to a meeting, and you all kept me in contact with AA until I decided to go back to meetings, do steps,etc. Thank You
Member: Terry H
Location: Connecticut
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 09:10 PM
Terry here - I'm an alcoholic. I've known for a long time, but never really wanted to admit it because it really never messed up my life. I am successful, have a good life, etc and I always used that as an excuse, even though I cannot stop drinking on my own. Fortunately, I have gained a little control over it. I don't get wasted like I used to, but I still drink just to drink. To me, being an alcoholic is wanting to drink beer, instead of water :) I come home on Friday and pop my can open and drink until I go to bed. Same thing on Saturday. I drink out of habit and even feel guilty about it the next day, but do it anyway. That to me is a good sign of an alcoholic. I go to hockey games and drink. I work hard outside at home and "reward" myself with a beer. I'm depressed, so I drink a beer. I can find any reason/excuse to drink a beer. Lately, even "it's snowing" seems to work :) I'm starting over today and will continue to do it one day at a time - if only I could avoid the weekends. God bless you all and good luck. Thanks
Member: Trish K.
Location: California
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 10:23 PM
Pat F. here (actually it's Trish K.), I guess I was afraid of this site at first and of identifying my "real" self, but no longer. I am an alcoholic. Today is 31 days sober!!!:-) I have known that I didn't drink like other people since my first drink at age 20. I drank til I was sick, then I got more and drank til I passed out. In 2002 I drank til I literally hit the floor -- I was lucky I didn't split my head open. That stopped me for about 9 months, but I didn't think I needed AA for anything. I knew I drank too much and I had to stop. I didn't think any of the people there could help me (I'm not too comfortable with "groups" of people), anyway I started drinking again - at first it was okay, but by the end 12/5/02 I was drunk every night -- staying up late on my own to "drink" under the cover of darkness and I did like (Shari) talked about above -- buying more and "replacing" so no one in the house would know just how bad it was getting. I woke up every morning more or less hung-over. I finally bore my soul to my Husband and fessed up and have been open and honest with my whole family and have been attending two meetings a week beginning the middle of December. It is helping and I do feel so much gratitude and help and fellowship with all the wonderful people I have met both F2F and on-line. Thanks for helping keep me Sober one day at a time.
Member: depressed
Location:
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 10:52 PM
Hi can anyone help me? How do you carry on being married to an alcoholic that goes to AA for 6 months but is full of anger and hate all the time. Sometimes I'm just so scared of him, he beats me up emotionally, it used to be physically before. I'm just so fed up and have nowhere to go or I'd leave right now, he won't ever leave as he cannot survive on his own, he acts like a child, well, a spoilt brat actually. Please help out there. I'm at my wits end and can't tell anyone how bad things are.
Member: PJ
Location: Florida
Date: January 05, 2003
Time: 11:36 PM
Dear Depressed, Please look in the phone book under "Al Anon". It is for the family/friends of a loved one who is drinking or trying to get sober. Take good care of yourself. Re the topic: I knew I was an alcoholic because no matter how bad the consequences, I couldn't stop drinking. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: TJ
Location: Texas
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 12:56 AM
TJ here, alcoholic. This doesn't really go with the topic, but I just did a scary thing and told my sponsor that I was going to look for another sponsor. I did that because I feel that my sponsor is overwhelmed with time constraints and I was beginning to feel overwhelmed every time I spoke with her. I really don't hold any anger toward her, maybe, hopefully she'll be relieved. I just needed to be honest. That is what is supposed to bring me peace, right? I wish I felt it now. I'm in the middle of my 4th step and I don't know who I'll ask to be my sponsor. I've got seven weeks sobriety. The first 30 days were great, but the past couple haven't been. I got through today and yesterday without a drink, thank you God, but boy I THOUGHT about one, two, five, ten! I'm going to read the BB now, hoping for peace to sleep and face tomorrow. Thanks.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 02:09 AM
Hi TJ, Don't give up. Finding a good sponsor is like finding a comfortable pair of shoes, easier said than done! At 7 weeks you are way ahead of most on the steps so take your time. I just finally got a sponsor after 3 months and I'm thinking of asking someone else to co- sponsor me. You can have two. I was just slow about getting a sponsor because I wanted someone who had the time to do the work. A lot of people are very busy in their own lives and jobs and don't have the time. Try going to a lot of step and BB meetings where the good sobriety is. Long term sobriety does not always make for the best sponsors but it doesn't hurt. Go for someone who has something you want or are attracted to. Carlo mentioned a site that helps working the steps above. Please take it slow and whatever don't drink! People change sponsors all the time for all different reasons. You have to do what is right for you so you stay sober. Good luck... Kelly
Member: Siadda P.
Location: NYC
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 03:12 AM
I have been sober for 16 mos after drinking for over 30 years. I still wonder every once in awhile whether or not I truly AM an alcoholic or if I just had a really bad habit. Buut you know what? I am too afraid to go out and try drinking again! I may doubt the existence of the problem, but, I KNOW that the solutin works for me so I shall continue to not srink, go to meetings and pray.. and some days, I remember to pray for the willingness to admit that "I AM AN ALCOHOLIC". Thank you for having this site.
Member: Mat T
Location: Germany
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 09:55 AM
Matt here, Alcoholic/ Just couldn't leave well enough alone and had a 12 pack last night. Was going to run but it was raining and I ended up drinking. I really need to quit. Hard to do in Germany. Last time I really tried was in May. Made it to September and then decided I could control it so started drinking just on weekends and then even cut it down to just Saturdays. Tried to limit it to just 4 beers and of course that increased to six then 8 and 10. Was doing OK with the Saturday thing up until Christmas week when I had a lot of free time. I am back to drinking about every other day. I want to quit for good starting today. I found a nice board called aarecovery.com where we can discuss our problems with other alcoholics. I know I can live without it as I have gone for up to 5 months several times over the past few years then I think I can control it and start the cycle all over again. I am not in bad shape right now and with support I know I can overcome this setback and get back on track. I am seeing a counselor but she is on vacation right now. Next meeting is 8 January. Never been to an AA meeting but think I am going to go to one. I spend a lot of time at the gym and jogging instead of drinking but it just does not work all the time. Sometimes I think I can't even function without a six pack by my side when I am doing things around the house. I don't know what it is. It is like I am rewarding myself while cutting grass or painting or cleaning out the garage. I really want to dump this habit. Thanks for listening.
Member: LukeK
Location: Massachusetts
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 10:57 AM
Luke, here, alcoholic from Massachusetts. Today marks 4 weeks sober for me. I know I am an alcoholic because of all the hiding and deceit connected to my drinking. I might be able to control it for a little while but it always comes and overtakes me in time. It's like playing Russian roulette to go back to that. "Whatever you do, don't drink" has to be my mantra at times. It can be hard but it is so worth it.
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 11:16 AM
I'm Gage, and I know I am an alcoholic. There is a chapter in our book, Alcoholics Anonymous, entitled The Doctor's Opinion. Some people say it is written in archaic language, but it still aptly describes what happens to me if I take a drink. That is, "the phenomenon of craving" begins. It's simply this: If I take a drink, I will get a warm euphoric feeling that will rush through my mind and body, and I won't want it to go away. Ever. People who are not alcoholics probably get that same sort of feeling from drinking, but I don't think they crave it the way I do. If I were to drink, in very little time, I'd become obsessed with it again. My time would then become divided between the time when I can drink and the time when I am waiting for the time when I can drink.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 11:31 AM
Bill here, flaming alcoholic. - ((Kim C.)) - I guess it's 12 days today! Way to go! I just posted on the coffee pot and thought you had 11 days. Anyway, ODAAT! That's how we do it. Take care. I certainly qualify to visit this site. Next week I'll have 8 months of sobriety. Life does gett better when I work this program. F2F meetings have been a huge part of my recovery, but the friends I've made in the fellowship are a true life saver. I drank for 30 years and knew I had some kind of problem with booze because I never wanted to stop drinking once I started. It wasn't a matter of trying to stop, I had no desire at all to stop. When it was time for dinner at home, I often was not interested. I'd rather just keep pounding the beers. However, the last 6 months that I drank, things started to change. I developed physical problems like waking up in the middle of the night every night, sweating, pounding heart, and filled with anxiety about everything. I found out later that this was the beginning of detox. Anyway, I found AA because things changed and got so bad for me that I knew I needed help. I became sure that booze was a problem and I did not want to experience the pain and misery anymore. I'm a firm believer that this program does work for us, once we finally admit that we need help, and that we cannot do this on our own. Thank God for AA and all of you. Thanks for keeping me sober today. Bill
Member: Joe P
Location: Chicago
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 03:10 PM
My name is Joe, and I am an alcoholic. How do I know I am an alcoholic? Actually, I “diagnosed” myself as alcoholic one night while drunk and wandering around looking for an open bar. I had worked as an addiction counselor for about 9 years prior to coming to AA, so I knew the symptoms well. I went through the symptoms in my head over and over, and kept coming up with alcoholism. So I diagnosed myself as alcoholic. The problem was that diagnosing myself did nothing to keep me from drinking. When I finally landed in AA, the group had a 1st Step meeting for me. And there it was that I heard people talk about their drinking, and I realized I was exactly like them. They described how they couldn’t stop drinking after the first one. That was me. They described how alcohol became the most important thing in their lives. That was me. They described how they would plan to not drink and wound up drinking anyway. That was me. (Listen for the similarities, not the differences.) I got a sponsor, and he had me start with reading The Doctor’s Opinion in the Big Book. Dr. Silkworth describes the allergy of the body and the phenomenon of craving. After some time in the program, I finally began to understand these passages, and I realized that they describe my experience with alcohol. I remember the cravings. I remember the terror, bewilderment, frustration, and despair that accompanied craving alcohol. I really, really, really do not want to go back there. Gage described it so well for me – once I start drinking, I will not want that feeling to go away – ever. The Doctor wrote, “The only relief we have to suggest is entire abstinence.” By the Grace of God and the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, I have not Don’t drink and go to meetings. Joe – joep041699@mindspring.com
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 04:23 PM
((Joe P)) - You must have been following me around. On one of my drinking missions near the end, I found myself driving out to find an open store to buy more beer. It dawned on me that I was drunk, and yet, it was very important to get more beer so I could "finish" the evening. The problem is that it was a week night, I had to go to work the next day, and it was about midnight. It was then that I knew I had a problem. This was not normal drinking or a normal way of life. I'd had enough. Thanks for reminding me that I never want to go back to that chaos, misery, and demoralization. It was awful. Thanks again Joe, it's always good to read your posts. Take care. Bill
Member: Kathleen
Location: Floral City, Floirda
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 05:05 PM
HI there, Kathleen here alcoholic in Florida. From the time I first started drinking at about 13 or so i went into a black out. Alcohol consumed my life totally every day from that day forward. Most people if they get to the p0oint of asking if they are an alcoholic or not..usually are cause "normal drinkers" don't even question if they have a problem with it or not..so if you're questioning it..most likely there is a problem but only you can decide that. Good luck...sober is much better...I ended up losing custody of my son, a house, a few husbands and many other things..mostly myself...I wasn't a person, just a skid row drunk..and this program has given me miracles...dont give up....this program works if you work it and live by the principles of the program....thanks for being here for me...cause without ya i would be dead...
Member: Bob P.
Location: IL/WI line
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 05:08 PM
Bob here... DOS: 5/12/99. I don't understand people who drink to be "sociable". There is only one reason I ever drank and that was to get drunk and forget who I am. That's how I know I am an alcoholic. Drinking to be "sociable". Who ever heard of such a thing...:)
Member: Chrissy F.
Location:
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 08:15 PM
Hi my name is chrissy and I am a alcoholic DOS:1/13/02. I can relate to you Bob, I once seen a person carrying a six pack of bud light, I remember thinking"to carry _a_six pack, let alone light would not be in my dictionary.
Member: Chrissy F.
Location:
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 08:15 PM
Hi my name is chrissy and I am a alcoholic DOS:1/13/02. I can relate to you Bob, I once seen a person carrying a six pack of bud light, I remember thinking"to carry _a_six pack, let alone light would not be in my dictionary.
Member: Chrissy F.
Location:
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 08:15 PM
Hi my name is chrissy and I am a alcoholic DOS:1/13/02. I can relate to you Bob, I once seen a person carrying a six pack of bud light, I remember thinking"to carry _a_six pack, let alone light would not be in my dictionary.
Member: Chrissy F.
Location:
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 08:15 PM
Hi my name is chrissy and I am a alcoholic DOS:1/13/02. I can relate to you Bob, I once seen a person carrying a six pack of bud light, I remember thinking"to carry _a_six pack, let alone light would not be in my dictionary.
Member: AZbill
Location: From AZbill
Date: January 06, 2003
Time: 08:58 PM
I once had the priviledge of drinking "normally", but I abused that priviledge so badly it was removed. It does not behoove me to cry about it. AA has taught me how to live in a society where drinking is acceptable and without drinking. I have lots of "normie" friend some drink. Some don't. I don't object to it I just don't do it. Bill email: az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Jan
Location:
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 01:12 AM
Hi, Jan, alcoholic. I knew when people started telling me what I had done during blackouts in college. I knew when I started mixing vodka with fruit juice concentrate and no water. I knew when I went for a job interview at a chemical plant and they told me the pre-employment physical was mostly to check for liver function to make sure I could clear toxins in the event of a chemical leak and I knew I wouldn't pass the test. I knew when I stopped exercising because the exercise suppressed my desire to drink. I knew when I stopped ordering pizza because I couldn't wait the 30 minutes for delivery before I started drinking after work. I knew when I started taking empties to the recyling center because there were too many to put out in the curbside bucket with my house number on it. I knew for a long time, for a million reasons, before I finally stopped.
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 09:16 AM
((Jan)) - Thanks for your honest comments above, and thanks for reminding how we tried to fool ourselves. It's really hard to lie to yourself. Eventually, all of the denial caught up with me too, and it was then I knew I either had to do something about it or suffer the consequences. In my case, the consequences would have been: drunk driving charge, loss of job, loss of wife and kids, total loss of any self-esteem that was left, and the list goes on. At the end, it was really hard work to keep on drinking. I finally figured that it just wasn't worth it. For me, AA is the easier, softer way. Thanks for being here and for reminding me where I came from. Take care. Bill
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 10:01 AM
I am definitely an alcoholic. One of the first steps I took was out of a workbook called “A Good First Step”. One of the questions asked me to think about my first few drinking experiences. I went back to the night; me and 3 other teens shared a bottle of wine. For me the rest of that night was an obsession to find more. I was irritable and angry that the others seemed happy about the alcohol they got. It took a few decades for me to figure out the significance of that experience. Today, I know from sad experience that every time I decide to challenge King alcohol, it will be very bad. When I still struggled with recovery every time I lifted that drink again the results became more and more horrible. Today, thanks to the 12 steps, not only don’t I need a drink, but I feel light and free. I am astonished at how good life has become.
Member: Kathy P.
Location: Mass
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 10:02 AM
Good morning everyone. Kathy P. alcoholic here. Today is another milestone in my sobriety. Ten weeks or 70 days without a drink now. Good topic for me this week. I knew for years that I had a problem with alcohol before I made this first serious effort to quit. I never wanted to quit before because I kept telling myself that I could get it under control if I tried. Those efforts lasted only a few days before I was back to 6-9 drinks a day. How did I know I was an alcoholic? Let me count the ways : I was hungover at least 3 times a week. I began to miss important appointments because I was too hungover to go. I threw up at a dinner party after too many glasses of wine. I occasionally drove when I'd had too much to drink. I slurred my speech in front of my kids and their friends. I would get upset (inwardly) if I had to drive my kids any where in the evenings because it cut into my drinking time. Occasionally I would tell them to stay home so I could stay home and drink. Basically my whole life revolved around drinking and not letting too much interfere with it. I won't lie and say I don't miss it sometimes and wish that I could drink normally again but at least this way I feel like I have a real life that revolves around the things I choose.
Member: Joy V.
Location: Arizona
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 10:25 AM
One definition of insanity: Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Herro? This was me to a tee (& still can be! LOL) I know I am alcoholic because I drank to try and drown the pain. When the effect wore off and I was still in pain; emotional pain AND the added physical pain of being hungover, I'd do it all over again, and again and AGAIN etc., etc. ad nauseum. The hurt was still there. The rage was still there. And my drinking got progressively worse. I put myself in situations I would never have even considered if I was sober. I got myself into more trouble, thus creating MORE PAIN for myself. I have an addictive personality. I can use any substance or process to try and check out. Once I stopped drinking, I started to use other less life & death addictions, but addictions none-the-less. The GOOD NEWS is you can recover. I'm doing it and have been doing it for many years now. You who are new and struggling, YOU CAN DO IT too. Just follow directions - the 12 steps, (especially develop relationship with a Higher Power,) get a sponsor and get to meetings. Don't drink one day at a time, one hour at a time, whatever it takes. Put as much energy into your sobriety as you did into your drinking and you will be amazed at the results! I like this from the "other Big Book" - -"Create in me a clean heart, oh God; and renew a right spirit within me." Psalm 51:10. DEPRESSED: There are a lot of other online resources for people needing Al-Anon support, including online meetings, chat rooms and message boards. You could do a search and see what you come up with. I wish you the best in your recovery. Be blessed.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 11:21 AM
Hi All, Kelly an alcoholic. Wow, sometimes the seemingly easiest questions are the hardest to answer. How do you know if you are an alcoholic? The dictionary says if you have continued excessive and usually uncontrollable use of alcoholic drinks. Step One says if we admit we are powerless over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanageable. For me I can't remember when I ever drank normally. I also can't remember when my love of alcohol became an addiction that I owned up to in my own mind. I have known I am an alcoholic for at least 12 years or so. Looking back it was like a switch being flipped. My 2 drinks a day turned into 4 and then 8 or until I fell into bed. Then I had to drink daily and as much as I wanted to be happy. That is when I knew I was an alcoholic. When it controlled me not when I controlled it and a long time before I ever admitted it to myself or anyone else. Like a bad lover it played me for many years but the divorce is final. I have moved on into sober life and I like it. When ever I think about a drink now I try to "THINK" my way through the drink. My last drinks meant nothing to me and did nothing and I was miserable. That is how I like to remember it. Alcoholism is a slow and painful death and I'd much rather someone just unload a clip into me and get it over with....:) Just kidding......... Kelly
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 03:01 PM
Bill P. here, flaming alcoholic. Thanks Kelly - I relate to your view so well. I don't ever want to forget what it was like being a functioning, miserable, self-centered drunk. It was a dead-end road leading me to jail, the unemployment line, and divorce court. Thank God I came here before those occurred. Today I consider myself lucky to have found the doors of AA. Thanks for helping me to stay sober today, and for reminding me what it was like and how I got here. AA is truly a gift from God. Peace.
Member: Stuart M
Location: Devon,England
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 05:29 PM
Hi Stuart here,(DOS 05.11.98) The Big Book says "We learned that we had to concede to ourselves that we were alcoholic,this is the first step in recovery"(page 30,2nd paragraph) I "learned" by going to many meetings (90 in 90 days) by not picking up a drink one day at a time (sometimes 5 mins at a time)By talking honestly about what i was feeling and thinking to other alcoholics who had been where I was And by identifying similarities rather than looking for differences. Through the unconditional love that i was shown at meetings I "learned" that there IS a solution to my "seemingly hopeless condition of mind and body". God bless you all Stuart M
Member: xandersick
Location: depressedville
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 05:55 PM
hi ive been sober for 13 days today.....i use to drink and use alot of narcotics(vicodin oxycontin what ever there was)the first three days i went through some bad withdrawals then it seemed to get better...now i just feel real depressed almost suicidal...i go to meetings and talk but they just make me want to use more...ive been using drugs and alcohol for 15 years....ive quit before but because i had to (the law caught up with me)..anyway ive been very demotivated...my life almost seems worse than when i was using...atleast i was not depressed...does anyone else feel this way thanks
Member: richard o
Location: san jose, ca
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 08:22 PM
hi guys--richard o here, and i'm an alcoholic. i'm a chronic relapser. i've known i was an alcoholic since '95, but didn't really care. at that time i lost my job, girlfriend, car and apartment, and ended up living w/ my mom. at least now i could steal from her purse and get a pint of cheap vodka, drink it all and pass out. i've been sober for all of 36 hours. somehow, i've managed to move out of my mom's place and have worked full time for the past year, but just quit my job because it started to interfere w/ my drinking. i've been drinking off and on for about a month now after a period of sobriety. last sunday i hooked up w/ a gal i use to date who didn't know i had started drinking again. it was bad, and i don't really know what happened except that she's really mad at me. my life is a mess, i have no friends and i have no job, car or prospects. i sit in my room all day trying to get over the hangover from the night before. i've some money saved up, but i may go through it before i motivate to get out and get a job. i use to go to meetings but developed a resentment towards other members because i rarely if ever got to share, they started to laugh at me behind my back and make fun of me when i relapsed. i know this becuase i heard it and some guys even confessed up to it. i know thats not a reason to drink, but when your own kind turn against you, what are you supposed to think? xandersick, i know how you feel. i've felt that way before. my life was soooo f***** up that at least i could feel good for several hours, then when i drank enough i would feel nothing at all. i have been going to meetings still, and yes, they make me want to drink sometimes. maybe you need to find another meeting. i've been trying to get sober for years, and i do know that not every group is a good group for everyone, and not every meeting is a good meeting. i'm still shopping around untill i find a group i'm comfortable w/. thanx for listening, all.
Member: Terry H
Location: Connecticut
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 08:55 PM
Hi, this is Terry (male) and I'm an alcoholic. Two postings in the same week - that's a first for me. Matt, I read your post and it reminded me a lot of myself. The part about rewarding yourself is so true of how I handle drinking. I go out and cut a bunch of firewood and I have some beer because I deserve it. I have a good week at work and have a beer on Friday because I deserve it. I work out a lot also and have used that sometimes to keep from drinking, but then when I can't work out, guess what happens? All I can say is keep your head up and keep trying. Don't ever give up. BTW, your 5 months of sobriety is about 4 months and 20 days better than mine. I'm 35 and have been drinking since the age of around 14. See, you're not so bad. Go to an AA meeting and meet some sober people and find out how they reward themselves. Good luck and God Bless!
Member: Crystal
Location: MA.
Date: January 07, 2003
Time: 10:21 PM
Hi, My name is Crystal and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for a little over 7 mo. this time. I finally had the courage to put myself into detox. That was my surrender!! I finally accepted the fact that I was an alcoholic. In and out of the program for a few years collecting little bits of time and going out again, and again. I was so fortunate to meet some wonderfull women in the program who never gave up on me. That's one way I stay sober along with many more. A sponsor, meetings and connecting with my Higher Power on a daily basis sometimes a few times a day. In the first few weeks I asked for the desire to be removed alot!! All of that works for me. One day at a time took me a couple of years to get, but thank God I finally got it.Thanks for letting me share.
Member: john s
Location: ore
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 01:37 AM
john s here,and yes i too am here for a reason, 22 years ago i went to my first AA meeting and learned i should not drink! was sober 6.5 years and thought i could drink, that was 16 years it took, to get back, now sober 11 days, feel real not ok,but will not drink,cant sleep,not eating very good,angry alot, sad alot, life feels unsure, dont know if i like this sober stuff, but somethings telling me its got to get better, thank you all
Member: Hamish
Location: Sydney
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 07:22 AM
If alcohol is costing you more than just alcohol you are probably an alcholic. AA works but here is the catch: you have to want what we have. Don't pick up the first drink, one day at a time, and go to meetings. Keep coming back. These are the things that I DID(AA is an action programme)and they have saved my life.Thanks for helping me stay sober today.
Member: Ozzie
Location: UKI
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 11:36 AM
Reward and retribution - now there's a sub-topic! I, like Terry H, used to reward myself every day for a hard day's work, celebrate a successful one, commiserate with myself for a lousy one. Any excuse! And punishment/retribution - if I felt guilty after a heavy session I used to exercise more - put myself through the physical pain barrier, sweat it out the next mornibg with a run or a cycle ride. What a waste of time. In sobriety I don't do these things - I thank my Higher Power for a good day, and I don't seem to get the really bad ones any more. I exercise only for fun now - not in guilt. Keep going ODAAT everone - it's worth it!
Member: robin
Location: delaware
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 03:03 PM
i could list a lot of things....but the only true answer that i know i am an alcoholic is that i am absolutely powerless over that liquid...too many years, too much money, too many angry people, too much trouble....i just passed one month yesterday, and am looking forward to getting past today...
Member: TJ
Location: Texas
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 05:03 PM
I'm TJ. I'm an alcoholic. Just got yesterday, that I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. Reading More About Alcoholism, from the BB, which I've read numerous times, when these words popped out of the page at me like a bolt of lightning: "We learned that we had to fully concede to our innermost selves that we were alcoholics. This is the first step in recovery. The delusion that we are like other people, or presently may be, has to be smashed." Did I feel bad about myself? You'd think anyone would. I mean who WANTS to be an alcoholic? I did, because right then, and now, I realize that I'm on my way to a better place in me and with me, but I had to "get it" first. I thought about my drinking. After dinners with friends or parties, I always stopped at the bar on the way home and drank until I was good and ready to go home. The next day I'd feel so terrible and beat up on myself, asking "why didn't I just go home after dinner like everyone else did?" I'd wondered why would I'd get home from being in a bar for hours and drink some more into the wee hours?" Now I know... I'M an alcoholic. And such a grateful one at that!
Member: Kate S
Location: New York (LI)
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 05:07 PM
Kate here, alcoholic, will have 2 years in February due to taking speaking commitments and being surgically attached to phone (giggle). ((Luke)), where in Massachusetts are ya? ((Depressed))) Get thee to an Alanon meeting. The women there will guide you. Get an alanon sponsor. PRonto. "When I got busy, I got better". Great pamphlet for you!
Member: richard o.
Location: califonia
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 05:28 PM
i'm ro, an alcoholic. i've got 2 1/2 days today...been in and out of the program for 10 yrs, getting some sober time and then going back out. hows this for insanity? like hamish said, you have to want what they have, and i'm still not sure if i want it that bad...! i mean, here i am going through detox yet again and i am still not sure if i want what is offered in the program...reading this to myself i see that my disease is warping my perspective, telling me its really not that bad...lost jobs, reputation, cars, dwellings, relationships, money, how much more am i willing to pay? i want to drink like a normal person, and the delusion that i can has to be smashed for me...i do know that i want to be joyous, happy and free...so i will do it one day at a time, actually right now 5 minutes at a time, don't pick up that first drink, go to meetings and don't drink between meetings. i've kept coming back for 10 yrs now, i guess i do want what you do have.
Member: Karen P.
Location: Wrightsville & Atlanta, GA
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 07:55 PM
Hello, Karen, alcoholic. I don't think I REALLY knew I was an alcoholic until some time after I started going to AA meetings. I would buy wine on the way home to finish off the evenings. But it wasn't until I embarrassed myself totally in front of my neighbors and was too drunk (this was in a blackout by the way) for a taxi driver to take me to detox that I finally took it seriously. I did go to detox the next morning, and haven't had a drink since. That was 10 months ago. I'm not celebrating. I'm still tempted, but I know I'm not interested in "controlled drinking." I drank to get drunk. Thanks for being here.
Member: Mike W
Location: Right Here, Right NOW
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 08:59 PM
Hi. I'm Mike, Definitely an Alocoholic, All I Can Reluctantly say, Is Please Pray For Me .. The Last time I asked that I was arrested,, I'd Just Like you to ask God For me to "Arrest" my Dis - Ease and get me Back on the Blessed path that I once walked on in this Fellowship.. I don't need to Know How , Why When, Where And What For?? I Don" Want to Phyco- anylize this into the Gates of Hell or Insanity Again.. I Just Want to Surrender My Will to my Creator God and ask His Forgivness and I Need His Divine intervention !!! Please forgive me if I've left anyone with the impression that this thing ain't working... cause I STOPPED WORKING IT!!! ODAAT your Brother .. MIKE W .
Member: Gage
Location: La
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 09:15 PM
Sorry for double-dipping. MIKE W, I think you just did a pretty good job of asking God for yourself. I don't know whether you have f2f contact with any AA's, but if you don't and you'd like to take the third step with someone, I'd be proud to take it with you. Gage022501@aol.com
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: January 08, 2003
Time: 09:46 PM
Opal, recovering alcoholic here. Like Ozzie I drank as the reward for my good day, bad day, dark day, happy day, any day, any excuse would do. But I hated what I was, what I had become. I could not get through one day without alcohol and I knew then I was hopeless. I thought the only way out was to kill myself to stop the shame and pain of addiction. Somehow God stopped me, got me to a meeting and I have a few 24 hours now. I couldn't, He could, so I let Him. I can't promise those new to the program that this is easy, it is hard work. Nothing worth having comes easy though! Thanks for letting me share, God Bless.
Member: Shelley
Location: Midwest USA
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 12:55 AM
Wow, this IS a hard one. I 'kind of' knew I was an alcoholic right after I was first introduced to alcohol. I was newly divorced, moved back to my home town after 6 years of being gone, and the only way to meet people and hook up with old friends was in the bar scene (or so I thought.) From there I started playing darts, volleyball, softball, bowling, and in every instance there was drinking involved. But, so what!!! Everyone else was drinking, too!!! I sincerely thought it was normal. EVERYONE I knew drank! What I didn't know was that I was the only one who took another 12-pack home after the festivities were over, and continued to drink into oblivion. On the surface I thought it was normal, but deep within myself I knew it was anything but. Then came the point not too long afterward when I realized I liked it too much, WAY TOO MUCH, and that realization was quite disturbing. Over the next several years I progressed to drinking every day and getting TOTALLY drunk 2-3 times a week, even on the days that I woke up hungover/guilty and telling myself, "OK, I'm not going to drink today, NO MATTER WHAT! I don't care if everyone else is...I'M NOT!" That lasted all of about 5 minutes. Usually, I was the last to arrive everywhere, and my friends would already have a beer and a shot waiting for me! But rather than disappointing THEM, and wasting their money, and saying "NO", I always indulged them, then it was off to the races...That was the only polite thing to do! I didn't want to offend them! Then the dreaded DWI. No big deal, I was a bartender, too! We always have a couple of drinks at closing time! I was set up by an ex-boyfriend! He knew I drank 2 or 3 beers at closing, and he had one of his cop friends wait down the street for me that night just to screw me over! What a crock. (Yes, I really said that to people for years, I AM so ashamed...) Excusing, blaming, excusing, blaming. That's what the books say, and that's why I am DEFINATELY an alcoholic. Still struggling, but getting a little better every day though. Thanks for sharing everyone, you are all very insightful.
Member: Peter M
Location: Scotland
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 03:36 AM
I have been in the fellowship on and off for 18 years.In all that time I have only managed to achieve 1 year away from booze.I cannot go through the hell of alcohol again or put my loved ones through it either.Hopefully "how it works"is------how it works.My sponser works in Brazil and is not here to keep me staight in his usual manner, although he has given me the tools and a deputy.This could be my last chance.
Member: Bob B
Location: Vanderbilt, Mi
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 05:50 AM
Bob, Alcoholic. I learned what an alcoholic is by doing what my sponsor told me to do, read the first 3 chapters of the Big book. It has all the symptoms of alcholism and is the only complete list I have ever seen. Upon reading it the first time, I was convinced. The only decision I had to make was did I want to do something about it. When I said yes, my sponsor told me to start taking the steps. I still do and it is 19 years later. It works.
Member: lyn
Location: MI
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 05:55 AM
xandersick, there are physical and pshycological withdrawals. The physical withdrawals are felt first, and the phsycological will likely last longer. Some drugs take longer than others to leave our systems, and have a great effect on the production of brain chemicals such as serotonin, which can lead to a chemical imbalance which results in depression. Hang in there, it will get better one day at a time. For me prayer, gratitude (hard to find when you're really depressed, but dig deep), and the words of those who have been there and lived to tell really helped me in beginning when the symptoms of withdrawal seemed too much to bear.
Member: Craig W
Location: Ont. Canada
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 06:45 AM
Eight more years of what I thought was controlled drinking, has finally lead me to the conclusion that I'm a hopeless drunk. I say drunk because ALCHOHOLICS go to meetings.I am physically, mentally, spiritually bankrupt from trying to control this obsession to drink. I started drinking again thinking this time it would be different. Wrong . Lately my drunks have lasted 4 or 5 days, hang-overs about the same. This is not controlled drinking. All aspects of my life are suffering horribly, I don't know if it's false pride or the cunning nature of the disease to have not returned to A.A sooner but thank god I found this site. Today is day #3. Thanks and may we all find God.
Member: Brian B
Location: Thailand.
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 03:50 PM
I didn't know I was an Alcoholic until I got to my first meeting, I didn't even know I was going to one, I was just asked to go to the "A" group in hospital. That first meeting was a stunner, people were being honest, talking about themselves in a way that was astounding, surely people didn't open up like this? They were talking about me - things I had covered up for years, emotions, the shame, the embarrassment; such is the denial aspect of the illness. I identified all the way. From that moment, I haven't had a drink, because I now know what I am, an alcoholic who keeps the disease in remission by living a life without a drink one day at a time. All I can suggest to the newcomers who might ask this question, get your ass to an AA meeting, and listen to the elements that you can identify with. If you identify, then I suggest you do what these folks in AA do, keep coming back and don't pick up the first drink, and listen.
Member: tech
Location:
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 07:28 PM
testing
Member: Sean W.
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 08:47 PM
I know I'm an alcoholic, because when I drink my judgement goes out the window. I drink too much and I do things when drinking that I would never do sober. I am unable to drink responsibly.
Member: Melissa
Location: Canada
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 10:36 PM
If you feel you have a drinking problem.... If you want to do something about that problem... If you want to stop drinking for today and just for today... If you want to stay that way one day at a time... If you want to find serenity with your sobriety... If you want to find real, pure happiness and joy... If you want a comforable and peaceful time of it.... If you want to find friends-true, deep, intimate friends... Then call AA in your hometown and ask to be taken to an AA meeting. This is from a book called "Am I? Am I Not? - An Alcoholic" by Thomas Curtis Chace. I've already answered my own question, and I've been in continuous recovery for 3 1/2 years and feel I'm in a position to say all of the above, and more, is true for me. I never thought I'd ever get to the other side of helpless, hopeless drinking, but I did. Wishing all who read here the gift of sobriety, lots of love, Melissa
Member: FC
Location: CA
Date: January 09, 2003
Time: 11:28 PM
Hey all, Wow, great topic, For me, How I know I'm a alcoholic, Well lets see here, drinking morning, noon, and night, just to get by before i start shaking to death or lose my mind. Losing my memory on a daily basis, not eating, and can't help but think of my next drink. Building my schedule around the drink, Yeh, I would clasify myself as an alkie. I don't think normal drinkers do this. Only been in the program of AA for 3 1/2 months and still have a lot to learn. I still seem to relapse over and over in this time, but the folks of AA have me getting a good foundation and building me more of the program. When I want to quit and say this is useless, they come up with something else for me. Quite astonishing how this program works, But their sober and I'm am not, so I just listen!!!!As it was told to me, The definition of Insanity is trying things over and over expecting different results. And a belly full of alcohol and a head full of AA, something is bound to happen. Bring the body and the mind will follow eventually. So while I still struggle, I have not lost hope and faith, I'm hoping for the winning team of AA to get me thru this, because for this Alkie, its my last stop. Get busy living or get busy dying. If your new, keep coming back, this site got me to go to my first meeting and I was scared to death, thank God I went! Long road but its well worth it, I learn something new everyday because of AA, Cause I'm still wanting to learn and listen. The program is about progress rather than perfection! Thank God for that, cause I'm no angel. Anyways, Thanks for letting me share tonight! Take care all!!!
Member: Landscape Ray
Location: Scotland
Date: January 10, 2003
Time: 08:18 AM
Hi PeterM Scotland hows it going give me a mail regards Ray mclaren.landscapes@ntl.com
Member: Bill P.
Location: Michigan
Date: January 10, 2003
Time: 10:34 AM
((Melissa)) - Thanks for sharing the message so well. Listening to your message, I know I'm in the right place! Thanks for being here. ((FC)) - I've been reading your posts since you showed up here. Keep coming back and don't quit trying. You can do it. You've only failed when you stop trying. Peace. Bill
Member: MW
Location:
Date: January 10, 2003
Time: 12:50 PM
How do I know I'm an alcoholic? 1. drink daily most of the time till blackout - don't remember end of the evening usually. 2. drink wine but "fortify" with hidden hard stuff so it doesn't look like I'm drinking as much. 3. hate doing anything in the evening that doesn't include drinking. 4. slur my speech in front of kids 5. most mornings get up feeling bad, feel OK by 9 a.m., work out or run, ready for more alcolhol by 5 pm. 6. am in awe of people who have just one or two drinks or leave a glass half full. 7. fake it by leaving a glass half full at a restaurant only to come home and drink till bedtime. 8. feel uncomfortable when with friends and topic of alcohoic comes up. 9. get nervous when at friend's house and feel like I'm not getting enough alcohol 10. have drinks before going out to insure getting enough and to look like I don't drink exessively. 11. embarrased myself many times at company meetings and at home. 12. if wake up middle of the night and can't get back to sleep have a"slug" to insure sleep then feel like crap next day list goes on and on.
Member: John K
Location: Austin TX
Date: January 10, 2003
Time: 07:36 PM
John here. 10 days and counting. I still struggle w/ denial. But basically I know. I know because of always checking the acoh content of beer to make sure it's as much as possible. I know because of lying to my kids so they won't plead w/ me to drink less. Like everyone in this biao, there are lots of examples, even though I'm what you might call a high botom drunk. But I guess what really convinced me was waking up at 2 or 3 AM every night as my drinking played havoc w/ my sleep cycle. I would wake up anxious and depressed. My most comforting thought was looking towards the day I would finally come to terms with this and work this program. Now all I gotta do is hang on to it. Going to a meeting might help, eh? Thanks for you guys letting me see how this works.
Member: David H
Location: Maryland
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 08:27 AM
How do I know I'm an Alcoholic? You got a couple hours? I know because life is soooooooooooooooo great without drinking and 13 years ago it really sucked. Plus I get to learn allsorts of wonderful ways to handle situations that used to baffle me. I have found serenity. if you think you have a problem with alcohol you have a problem with alcohol remember the only requirement for AA membership is A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING Peace David
Member: Opal
Location: MI
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 08:29 AM
((John K.)) Glad you found this site and sound willing to go to a meeting. Only you can decide if you are an alcoholic of course, but if it is effecting your kids I would consider that strongly as a yes. High bottom, low bottom, it varies as much as the individuals in the program. Question is, how low do you want to go and how much do you want to lose before you do something about it? God Bless you and I will pray for your success. This is a great program and can work for you if it worked for me. Love, Opal
Member: Cecilia D
Location: NC
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 04:07 PM
Cecilia alcoholic here, I know I'm an alcoholic because I can't control my drinking, I can't stop once I start. Only when I call on my Higher Power that gives me the strength to stop. God Bless you all.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 04:56 PM
I'm Chris --I'm an alcoholic/addict...I, like others, wasn't sure I was an alcoholic because I wasn't as "bad" as others....until I realized that it did'nt make any difference ..The program of Alchoholics Anonymous has changed my life and given me a new way of living.Whithout this new way of living, would either be dead or in a mental institution...So what is there to loose?
Member: Kim V
Location: Mars Hill, NC
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 09:03 PM
Hi Kim V here, alcoholic. I knew I awas an alcoholic early an as my mother got sober in AA was I was about 18 years old. About the time I started my heavy drinking and drungging. I mean we had been drinking on holidays with the family since we were kids, doing toasts and stuff. So early on I knew alcohol and drugs made me feel like I belonged, and made me feel comfortable in my own skin. It was almost immdetiately that I needed it to function. I functioned pretty well for awhile and then pretty soon everything became unmanageable. I knew I was an alcoholic but told myslf I didn't care and that I wasn't hurting anyone and it wasn't anyone else's business. So now I was even lying to myself. The big book tells us that at some point we cross the line were we no longer have a choice of wether we want to drink or wether we can stop and to me this is a very good desription of when someone is an alcholic. Also to me I believe if you are asking your self if you might be an alcoholic, then you probably are. Now we are at step 2. Thanks for letting me share. Kim V
Member: joe don a.
Location: nova scotia canada joe_don55@hotmail.com
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 10:45 PM
my name is joe an im an alcoholic. im dry now 6 mo.an greatfull. i attend about 3to4 meeting a week an just found this site i like what i read so far an would like to wish you all another 24 hrs. i began drinking at a vary early age an drank for 35 years it seemed that every time i drank i ended up in some form of trouble my last drunk the law told me to get my alcohol problems in order or face a lengthy time behind bars so i tryed aa best move i ever made my life has changed in oh so many ways. if it works for me it will work for you too so good luck to all an have a coffee on me thanks for listening j.d.a.
Member: mike c.
Location: northern mn
Date: January 11, 2003
Time: 11:18 PM
I know i'm an alcoholic because i said i was one. I admitted I am powerless when i use alcohol. I lose the ability to control myself. while sitting in a detox cell I finally saw that that there was something wrong with me and my life was spiraling out of control. After a night in jail, honestly facing my family and 2 months of out-patient I was ready to admit to myself, others and god (as i understand it) that i am an alcoholic. I honestly wanted to change - to set a example - to my children and my family. I now attend weekly A.A. meetings and help out others when asked too. i'm am not perfect, but i can see progress even if others do not. I have an acceptence and serenity i've never expereience before...thank you for listening, take what you will and trhow the rest away.
Member: Mike W.
Location: Hillsdale, Mi. USA
Date: January 12, 2003
Time: 12:18 AM
I'm a common ,ordinary , everyday drunk, Named Mike... Hi,, God bless You all and give you strength and do for you what He will if you LET HIM.. I need your prayers and support to enable me to reach down and pull my head back out of my *** and get back to the business of living my life according to some principles and Good Orderly Direction ,,,.G O D .. 2/3rds of God,, is Go..!!**$$$ I need to ge t back to the fundimental things that you guy's taught me that KEEP ME SOBER !!! if Anyone can give me some Spirit filled Insight,, help me out,<< I'm stuck on stuck.. Thanks for being my Co-Laborers!! Mike W. plumbfitter2000@yahoo.com
Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: January 12, 2003
Time: 07:17 AM
Mike W. = no spirit-filled insight here - just the basics - go to meetings, don't drink - ask for help - get a sponsor(temporary, if necessary) NOW . Sounds like you already know about the Program. Keep it simple - just DO IT!!! Please keep posting - let us know how you are doing.