Member: larry m
Location: dakota
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 10:36:04 AM

Comments

how do I stop. What steps should I take. I have been in and out of aa for years and am sick of my alcoholic life. I want to stop but seem to be in denial. confused in dakota, Larry m


Member: TRISH
Location: INDIANA
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 10:56:12 AM

Comments

LARRY, YOU'RE HERE, FOR STARTERS. I WOULD SAY THAT ISN'T AS BADLY IN DENIAL AS YOU THINK. YOU WANT TO STOP, YOU SAID IT YOURSELF. I AM NEW TO THE INTERNET DISCUSSION, AND I HAVE JUST RECENTLY DECIDED TO CONFRONT MY OWN PROBLEM. IF THERE IS SOMEONE OUT THERE WHO HAS THE EXACT ANSWER YOU ARE LOOKING FOR, THERE WOULD BE NO ALCOHOLICS. I ASK SOMEONE ELSE TO COMMENT TO LARRY, SINCE I AM NOT EVEN CLOSE TO KNOWING HOW TO HELP SOMEONE ELSE YET. BEST OF LUCK TO YOU LARRY!!!!!!!!!! KEEP TRYING, DON'T GIVE UP!


Member: David B
Location: KC,MO
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 11:03:36 AM

Comments

Hi Larry, My name is Dave and I am Alcoholic. How do ya stop drinking? Simple but not easy! In the detox center I was removed from Alcohol the last time feb,2 1994. Then I had to admit to myself that i was powereless over alcohol- and wanted to solve my other problems. Well that first statement to myself was a awakening, that one drink of alcohol every time I had lossed control and that i realized was absolutely true in my case. It struck me that i did not have to do that ever again. I did not have to drink. I found that all my problems have not been solved just because I have not had any alcohol in a few 24hrs. It is the other 11 steps that make my life better because I improve Trust in God and Clean house. That is my fellowship with AA and I have a Church that I attend frequently and it works it really does. willingness openmindedness and honesty.


Member: Kara W.
Location: Wild West
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 11:18:26 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Kara and I'm an alcoholic. I also have been in and out of AA. Stopped for a year once, and then I let pressures get me started again. I've been drinking very heavily and have had blackouts for the last few months, even one lovely experience with audio/video hallucinations. (I accused my hostess of poisoning me. I'm pretty sure I won't be invited back there.) So far, I've been sober for six out of the last 9 days. I'm reading every book I can get on the subject alcohol addiction.

I need the same help that Larry does, tips on how to stop. Especially when the craving washes over me so powerfully.

I'm taking some food supplements, and a yeast/fungal detox supplement....maybe that has helped me not drink. (Apparently yeast craves alcohol, and my doctor says I need to clear up the systemic infection as a process in getting sober. I just started taking this stuff 9 days ago, before that the drinking was continual for six years. But the cravings can still get nasty in the afternoons. My happy hours are not as much fun as they used to seem.

So grateful for online meetings as I live in a National Forest, and there aren't many folks out here to meet with. Thanks to everyone who contributes. I spent the afternoon hours yesterday online, in an AA meeting...and I made it through one more day. I love the cucumber pickle analogy...I'm a pickle!


Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 11:52:02 AM

Comments

Hi, to all and welcome newcomers I can say it can only change from here on this program has given me so much I could not even start a list of the gift`s I have recieved. I am powerless over any substance that will take me out of reality. When I went to detox a few years ago I had a honest desire to sraighten out my life and with the program I have found this not something that can be done over night and yes I know do not tell a drunk he/or she has to wait on anything. First, I had to admit I was powerless this hit me hard, because drinking and drugging were all I knew, but as I said you have to be ready to admit all your wrongs. The next thing the people at the rehab told me to do was start reading the big book. I suggest the doctors opinion in this the doctor tells how alcoholism is a disease and if we do not pick up the first drink it will stay in remission. I believe if the craving hit`s and you talk about with another person in the program or if there is no one to talk to try writing your problems down they suggested I do this in the beginning I should write down what it was that was bothering me and then forget about for a week and then reread it and you will see what a silly problem it was. I was always told if your ass is falling off to put it in a wheelbarrel and bring it to a meeting and tell someone about it and if that doesn`t help to hit your knee`s and ask your higher power for help he/orshe will answer if your honest. This is the hardest thing I have ever done but it is the greatest thing you will ever do for yourselves and for those who love you. I hoped my rambling helped someone I would like to wish everybody a happy holiday and God blees to all.Thank you


Member: jimbo
Location:
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 12:08:59 PM

Comments

Larry and Kara, Suggested steps you shold take. Don't drink another drink that contains Alcohol. Give your body a bit of time to rid itself of the Alcohol in your system and the cravings will gradully leave as well. Going for nice long walks can help the process as will drinking water and eating nourishing food. On these long walks come to believe in yourselves and come to a decision to reclaim your minds and bodies. Learn what is important to you and what your values are. Start thinking for yourself which you wonīt do if you keep drinking.Take time to renew old hobbies or start new ones. If you happen to be rich, go spend some of your money enjoying yourself. Buy new clothes, car, books whatever you enjoy. If you are unemployed try getting a job or better still work for yourself.Do anything that is constructive for you. Just a few suggestions.


Member: ED G.
Location: SOUTH DAKOTA
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 12:50:48 PM

Comments

HI MY NAME IS ED AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. GLAD TO BE HERE AGAIN. I TRY TO CHECK IN ON THIS SITE EACH WEEK, BUT I DON'T ALWAYS SHARE.

LARRY, I'M REALLY GLAD TO SEE YOU HERE AND REACHING OUT FOR SUGGESTIONS. THE FIRST STEP WE ALL HAVE TO TAKE IS THE "FIRST STEP". I KNOW THIS SEEMS OBVIOUS, BUT WHEN I WAS AT MY WORST I COULDN'T SEE THE FOREST FOR THE TREES.

FOR ME ADMITTING THAT I WAS POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL WAS EASY. BY THE TIME I GOT TO THE FIRST STEP I WAS FIRMLY CONVINCED OF THIS FACT. THIS IS WHEN I SURRENDERED, I KNEW I COULDN'T CONTROL MY DRINKING AND I KNEW I COULDN'T KEEP LIVING WITH THE DRINKING.I ALSO WAS SICK OF MY ALCOHOLIC LIFE.

I WENT TO MY FIRST MEETING WITH A FRIEND, AND I WAS AMAZED BY WHAT I SAW AND HEARD! I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT, I WAS SITTING THERE LISTENING TO EVERYONE TALK AND I FINALLY FELT LIKE I BELONGED THERE. MOST EVERYTHING I HEARD I COULD RELATE TO. I FINALLY FOUND A GROUP OF PEOPLE THAT UNDERSTOOD ME. I SPENT MOST OF MY LIFE SEARCHING FOR THIS, AND NOW I'D FINALLY FOUND IT.

GETTING TO A LOT OF MEETINGS DURING THE FIRST YEAR ALSO MADE ALL THE DIFFERENCE. FOR ME GETTING TO A LOT OF MEETINGS REALLY WASN'T MY IDEA. BUT MY SPONSOR HAD OTHER PLANS FOR ME.

I HOPE BY SHARING I CAN OFFER SOME SUGGESTIONS THAT HAVE HELPED ME WORK THIS PROGRAM IN MY DAILY LIFE. MOST OF ALL, WELCOME BACK TO ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, IT LOOKS LIKE ANOTHER ONE OF GODS MIRACLES IS IN THE WORKS.


Member: Barry B
Location: Vancouver
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 1:15:11 PM

Comments

Hi everyone...I'm Barry...and I am an alcoholic. A very good subject that I feel compelled to reply to. Bottom line...I had to bottom out so bad that I knew another drink would kill me...I entered that insane scary place where I did'nt think I could live with or without it....the crossroads. I drank alcoholicly for many many years....getting mentally and physically sicker all the while...I dry heaved and shook every morning....it was every thing I could do to make it through work to get to the next drink. To appease my wife I called AA...was picked up at home from a nice guy and taken to a meeting....I did'nt know anyone...felt like shit and just wanted to melt into the walls....I continued to go to meetings for another month or so....then decided it was'nt for me and that I could make it on my own. I stayed sober for another month or so then had a couple of drinks at a friends place...I did alright...I thought that it was'nt so bad after all...I can now be a social drinker....three years later I ended up in the hospital...then detox...and had to admit I was an alcoholic after all....and it hurt...real bad. I knew I had to give AA another try...so right out of detox I went to an AA meeting which became my home group...and I wanted answers as how not to drink too....I was told to keep coming to meetings and to not drink inbetween them. I was so sick that I did just that...I was going to do my very best to get it right this time around....I went to meetings....I made it my purpose to get to know the people this time...and listen. I was told in detox that my sleeping would be desturbed and that I would have nightmares....I did for a few days...it was also suggested that the sugar in hard candy would help with the cravings since there's lots of sugar in booze...so I carried a bag of candy with me. It's no big secret....if you don't put a drink to your lips...you won't get drunk.There is hope....I thought I was hopeless...but if all those people in those rooms said they were alcoholics...and I had to believe they were...and they were'nt drinking and they seemed content...then I wanted what they had. Pour the booze out...make your recovery come first in your life...get to meetings and get to know the people and get involved.You might not agree with everything that is being said in the meetings but your in a safe place....with others with the same problem...and we all have the same goal....to be happy and to be at peace. I have never swore off booze for the rest of my life....the thought of that is just mind boggling...I can stay sober one day at a time....and the days just start to add up...I know they can for you as well. I hope you find what your looking for. Thank-you AA.


Member: matt
Location: west
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 1:16:04 PM

Comments

Hello, This is my first time logging in, I have gone to meetings in person on and off. I am whats called an eposodic drinker. I guess it happens every 3weeks or so and most reciently this fri. When I drink I envariably blackout or have a very spotty memory of the event. I am horrified always the next day about what could of happened, who could have seen me like that. I am afraid to go to meetings because I might see someone who I know, a superior from work perhaps. Most of all I am SO tired of living this way, many times I have said I would quit and I go for a period of time only to somewho forget. I have read a lot, and even kept a journal for a while, but always I fail, it is just so depressing. I welcome all comments


Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 1:28:39 PM

Comments

Hi I`m Jeff I`m an Alcoholic How does one stop drinking? DON`T pick up the first drink... For me when i get up in the morning i drop to my knees & ask a higher power of my understanding to "give me this day SOBER if it be thy will". Something to this effect I believe, if I`m sincere & humble will be granted if I DONT pick up the first drink.When the cravings or thoughts come to mind call another alcoholic or sponcer, AA member etc. For those who have been to AA before , you know what to do, get to an AA meeting & ask for help, this can be the hardest thing you`ll ever do (ask for help).If you are as sick of drinking as I was & sincerlly want to stop then you will have victory over this "helpless state of mind & body"(as stated in the big book of ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS) If you believe you are an alcoholic than you "suffer from a illness that only a spiritual experience will conquer".{bg/bk pg 44}.You ask how am i to find this "spiritual experience" its contained in the book of Alcoholics Anonymous & thru-- the doors on AA.

Good luck to you all hope you make it! I`m sorry but the odds are`nt in your favor, not many will make it sober thru the first year, this is a fact. I pray that you`ll NEVER have to take that 1st drink again. Thanks for being here for me Jeff


Member: joe k.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 4:00:21 PM

Comments

Larry M - Dakota: Doesn't sound like you are alone in your dilemna... besides those who have posted here, we have all had our battle with the question as to "HOW?" I'm sure I am not the only one who discovered that any means I used to stop drinking were of no avail to me, until I discovered a Greater Power, real and effective, that could do for me what no other human power could accomplish. I discovered this power in the process of working the steps with a sponsor -- doing it his way, not mine. His way seemed to work for him, and it worked for me. His way reached beyond my ability to reason and resulted from ignorantly following his instructions. These instructions were simply outlined in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and explained to me by someone I was certain did not know what he was talking about (go figure -- he knew). This power has accomplished one day at a time what I could not accomplish with years of "trying." I discovered I was fighting a battle I had lost years ago. You will not get sober sitting here in front of your pc reading these posts. You, like many more of us, will have to get off your duff and go to meetings and get to work with a sponsor. If you are not willing to do that, keep doing what you are doing. Booze will once again become your "great pursuader." You can remain in the ranks with Kara, Trish, and Matt, or you can continue to try and win the battle on your own power by following suggestions from heavy drinkers who overcame with solutions such as those offered by Jimbo. You, like myself and so many others, will have to contend with the fact that you are either powerless over alcohol or you are not. When I discovered I was powerless, I found there was absolutely NOTHING I could do to stay sober. I was to find a Power to do it for me, or I am screwed. That Power is there for me each day I continue to do certain simple things; those things outlined in the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had to have someone else take my hand and lead me like a child, one step and one day at a time. Even after many years, it remains the same. I have not regained any power of my own -- it still comes from a Power greater than me.

Joe K. chillbmp@totalzone.com


Member: Carolyn
Location: south east
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 4:21:50 PM

Comments

Hello family - my name is Carolyn - i am a alcoholic - i can't spell or type worth a hoot - but that is ok cause i know you will read this with your heart and you will understand

Larry and Kara welcome home - we are so verry happy you are here - please hold on to our hand and we will try with all our heart to help you not drink - we know how you feel - we have all been there - there is life after alcohol - for me i found life in the rooms of A/A - it is there for you also - i had my last drink 05/02/82 at 4AM - thank you and my HP i have not had a drink since - life is so good

i can only tell what happened to me - i drank because i had to - there was no other way i could live in my skin - i had to drink or die - reached a point drinking was killing me - could not live with it and could not live with out it

for first time in my life i called out from darkest place of hell "Please God Help" i did not give him a list of help i wanted or under what condtions i would accept his help. my HP came walking thru my mind and told me call AA - i did and have tryied my best to follow directions and my life has never the same - it worked for me and it will work for you

i was told i had to want to be sober more than i wanted to drink - i had to be willing to go to any lenth to be sober - when craving washed over me - i used everthing other sober AAs had told me to use - ask HP for help on knees - read big book - call a sober AA and ask for help - run to a meeting - what ever it took not to pick up that drink - THERE IS NO SHORT CUT TO SOBERTY - it had to be done one day - one step - one breath at a time -

to start i did not believe any of the wonderfull things you talked about could happen to me - i did believe that you belived what you were telling me were true - i belived you belived - i could not believe for my self so you belived for me -

i also was told if i went off in my dark corner of hell alone - and started talking things over and working out wonderful ans by self - i would be talking to a FOOL - don't work things out by your self - talk them over with an AA who has good long term soberty

another thing after 3 or 4 months of not drinking - go to meetings 1 to 4 ever day - i would be over come by that craving to drink - could not understand - keep asking what am i doing wrong - someone told me i was not doing anything wrong - it was ok to want to drink i did not know how to do anything else - just make sure i did not drink no matter what - there were days when all i had was DON'T DRINK DON'T DRINK DON'T DRINK - stay away from alcohol - don't get close to it - as long as i wanted to drink and did not it was OK

hope some of this helps someone it sure has helped me - going back to how it was always helps - thanks for being here - love to all Carolyn


Member: Love
Location: Everywhere
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 5:11:40 PM

Comments

The concept of Right & Wrong are only real in our minds (in the realm of duality) That's why when people (AA, RR or a doctor for that matter) tell people things and get them to believe it, it can cause death, suffering or freedom.

TO THINK IS TO CREATE, at this point I think it's safe to say some people are in a place where AA will be the best method for getting sober (although it might fade in time) and then there are some that things like RR will work better because of where these people are mentally.

I started Self-Developemnet 7 years ago...and I could never understand way some people in AA would think that the 12 steps is the only way to not only stop drinking but learn to live sober.

Those 12 steps show up in Tony Robbins stuff, Wayne Dyer, Deepok Chopra, Converasations with God, Think and Grow Rich (which by the way is where I learned the importants of a personal Moral inventory years ago)

Because of the intense study of this information over the last 7 years I have been able to elevate my live even though I was drinking, and successfully stop with the help of a One-on-One relationship with God which dewells within me and you..

I worked through resentments, anger issues and discovered a higher power without AA, RR or SOS, and through this path I have found that my power lies beyond my conditioning...get rid of all my lables and before you stand an extention of the living God or Higher Power...whatever you call it.

The good news is just like looking at 2 islands from a boat...lets say one has lots of plants and animals and the other one is about a mile away and has nothing but rocks on it...looking at the islands from the boat they look very seperate...but if we could drain the ocean down 25 feet and looked at what was there what would we see?

Well they would both have coral, seeweed and other plant life they would look almost alike if not the same...now drain the ocean to the floor and what do we see...these islands aren't seperate at all they are connected.

And so are we...to each other...and to the living Higher Power ;o)


Member: Patrick Rafferty
Location: Utica  Michigan
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 5:17:55 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Patrick. I am doing well now daysI I have a new job and a new apartment. I have been keeping in control for well over two years. I now have the life I once had and wish to keep it. I am really glad I found stayingcyber aa group. It is good to know that at any time I can be in contact with people who have gone through what I have in the past.


Member: Vivianne V.
Location: Haverford, PA
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 5:18:29 PM

Comments

Hello,

My name is Vivianne, and I'm an alcoholic. I want to respond to Donnie M. in Short Gap, W. Virginia. Donnie, those are wonderful, simple suggestions that made (make) ALL the difference. Really useful, practical things that one can do when lonely, craving a drink, obsessing, whatever. Thanks for reminding me. Larry M., I would have to say Ditto to Donnie's message. Read about alcoholism, read the Big Book, tell someone how you're feeling, even CALL someone! If no one's around, write about it. And yes, praying has always helped me. Telling someone else that you trust about how you're feeling can take the shame, secrecy and isolation away. Thanks for letting me share, Viv


Member: Chris S
Location: Asheville, NC
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 5:46:02 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Chris and I am a grateful sober alcoholic.

Thank you Larry, Trish, Kara, and Matt for sharing.

It was probably the hardest thing to do in my life and still difficult at times... to admit that I need help. That I cannot do it alone. But, that is what it took for me to get better. All I wanted was to get better. I didn't really want to quit drinking when I first arrived.

At my first several meetings I was given many suggestions. Go to a meeting everyday. Seemed like alot, but someone said they drank almost daily, what was an hour or two a day to stay sober and get better. They said to go to ninety meetings in ninety days. It also seemed like a big order, but then someone said to take it one day at a time. They told me they could not decide if I was an alcoholic. If I would read the Big Book and go to meetings for ninety days. I was under no oblication to them if I decided I did not have a drinking problem! After 10 years, 11months I still prefer to take life one day at a time. They said to read the big book, from the very beginnning...forwards and everything. I especially like the Dr.'s opinion. It made it ok for me to be an alcoholic. I have a desease. I was probably born with it. Good news is like other deseases that cannot be cured or arrested, this one can be arrested if I an honest enough and follow the path that is described in the Big Book, and no matter what happens or how a felt, do not take the first drink.

I know today that I had to completely surrender to alcohol. Then turn my life over to the care of God as I understood him. I didn't have much of an understanding when I got here. The groups were more of a higher power than anything else. I was so desparate that I took the suggestion to hit my knees in the morning and ask God to keep me sober for just one day and to hit them at night and thank him.

It does get easier. The cravings did go away. The thinking about drinking took longer to go away, but after working the steps, WITH A SPONSER, the thinking go much better. The bad dreams became fewer and fewer.

It is a wonderful program. I have received much more by being sober than I could even dream of. The dreams I had growing up have started to become true. I finished college, married and terrific women, have 2 children, and and pursueing my dreams.

I am here to help myself stay sober, for no other reason. But to stay sober I must be willing to help you. It is amazing.

The odds are better than someone suggested in this meeting. RARELY HAVE WE SEEN A PERSON FAIL WHO HAS THOROUGHLY FOLLOWED OUR PATH!!!! I have seen it. I am working with a man that has listened to everything I (as his sponser) has suggested. He prays, reads, journals every day. He makes lots of meetings. This is his second time around, and he did very little of those things the first time and ended up drunk.

I am not keeping him sober. God is keeping both of us sober. He does not realize how much he has helped me by asking me for help with the steps.

Keep coming back. As you all have read, there are plenty of people that want to help and are staying sober, happy, joyous. For most of us, our worst days sober would not be traded for our best days drunk.

God bless!


Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 5:51:57 PM

Comments

Hi, Melissa, alcoholic. I like this site because it's gives me a chance to spend some time with my sobriety on days when I can't go to a meeting. And it gives me a chance to remember what it was like.

Well, I couldn't stop drinking and stay stopped. I just couldn't. I know I got to a place where it was just such hell to be me that I did something truly out of character and gave up. Had no more control, nothing left to try and just gave up. They say God comes in through the wound and I suppose that's what happened. There was ONE thing I'd never done, and that was ask God for help. I didn't plan to do that, it just came out of my mind, in the middle of all the agony. It just happened that way. In spite of myself, and even though I'd already been to AA and hated it, dismissed it as a solution entirely, I went back and somhow found myself doing all the things people say to do - steps, meetings, sponsor, talking, LISTENING. I did all this through a thick fog of fear the first few months. I was scared that I would not be able to not drink. It took awhile before I noticed that the desire to drink had gone away. And it's stayed away.

So I guess I received the gift of surrender. And I do think it's a gift because not everyone gets it. But I will say this. I do remember asking for that 'gift', from that totally unlikely source, God, or the Higher Power or whatever the heck you want to call it.

My body's gone all icy, remembering what it was like, and how I thought I'd nevernevernever get to the other side of drinking. I hope I never forget. But I did get to the other side. It didn't seem simple at the time but it seems sort of simple now - I gave up, and asked. Still do, every day. My sobriety is so precious, I can't take any chances with it.

Blessings on every one of us, thank you for letting me share.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 6:33:44 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares! Welcome newcomers!

After chairing AA meetings in various types of treatment facilities for quite a few years, I learned from listening to alcoholics from various backgrounds that the way to stay sober through AA is basically the same for everyone, chronic relapser or not.

For me that has meant up to this point, not picking up that first drink, taking the suggestions, and trying to practice the principles of AA in all my affairs to the best of my ability.

You may be tired of hearing those words, Larry, but they are heard so often because what they say is true.


Member: Tom Johnson R
Location: Wa.
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 6:39:01 PM

Comments

Hi i`m Tom and im a Alcoholic,this is my first time on line.I have been sober for nine months.I stay sober by keeping my self busy and staying away from bars and people who drink.I take it one day at a time. Tom


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 7:30:25 PM

Comments

Hello, Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona and I been sober ever since I learned how. I was in and out of AA for a short time also.

When I came back in the last time, I learned a few things from the beginning. First off I had to want to stop drinking. Then I had to learn I could not sit at meetings and work the steps "off the wall".

Then, I had to lay aside all reading except the first 164 pages of "Alcoholics Anonymous". In spite of any arguments you may hear. This is the only place were the instructions on how to work the steps is found. I needed a basic knowledge of the Steps first.

Then I had to find someone who understood the spirit of the program as opposed to the word of the program. I rarely read the Big Book alone for the first few months.

I was then led to read chapter one, "Our Description of the alcoholic, Bill's Story"; Chapter 4, "The chapter to the Agnostic". Those two chapters and my personal adventures, which is my drunk-o-log, led me to the obvious conclusions. (a) That I was indeed an alcholic. If I could relate to anything in there.(Step 1) (b) Probably no human power could relieve my alcoholism. That means that meetings alone will not keep me sober. (Step 2) and finally that (c) God could and would if he were sought. Again Step 2.

In the Third Step all I did was make a decision to follow the instructions.

On top of all that. I could quote you chapter and verse. Who I was angry at and why. Geezzz I would bend your ear for hours at the bar telling you all about it. So that takes care of the first two columns of the 4th Step.

That's it. Make it easy or make it hard. It is up to you.

Bill

az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: notjoe'sbiggestfan
Location: whatdoyoucare
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 7:47:06 PM

Comments

TO JOE K. I DIDN'T LIKE THE COMMENT YOU MADE ABOUT TRISH, KARA AND MATT ABOUT STAYING IN THE "RANKS" WITH THEM AND NOT GETTING OFF THEIR DUFFS. DID THEY ALL SAY THEY ONLY SIT AT THEIR PC'S AND EXPECT TO RECOVER? THIS IS ONE OF THE THINGS I DO AS SUPPLEMENT WHEN I CAN'T GET TO A MEETING FOR ONE REASON OR ANOTHER, OR OBVIOUSLY UNLIKE YOU, I DON'T HAVE UNDERSTANDING PEOPLE AT MY BECK AND CALL TO SUPPORT ME 24/7. NEXT TIME, TRY NOT TO JUDGE...AREN'T YOU SITTING AT YOUR PC WHEN YOU WRITE? AND SINCE YOUR ANSWER MUST BE "YES", THEN WHY? SHOULDN'T YOU BE AT A MEETING SO YOU CAN LOOK DOWN YOUR NOSE AT OTHERS?


Member: Kara W.
Location: Wild West
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 8:48:46 PM

Comments

Hi, Kara, alcoholic. I was at first put off by what Joe said, and then I felt that he was helping me. I don't know how to explain it in words, but he is concerned about us and wants us to make it. He's telling us from personal experience, because he doesn't want us to make the same mistakes that others do.

Hey Joe, You're right. I chose the easiest way to try to quit drinking. I'll go to an AA face to face tomorrow. Cyberspace is great and I appreciate all of the support and I'll be here everyday, but I need to find a tough sponser. If someone is going to tell me I can't drink anymore, they'd better look a lot like John Wayne. God Bless and Thanks, Kara


Member: luke w
Location: west
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 9:35:09 PM

Comments

Dear havin troubles, botton of pg 25 B.B."One was to go on to the bitter end ,blotting out the consciousness of our intolerable situation as best we could;and the other,to accept spiritual help". Spiritual law #37 You can not have to thoughts at the same time. so think sober.


Member: NORM P
Location: INDIANA
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 9:54:11 PM

Comments

I have to second what AZ Bill said about sticking to the Big Book(Alcoholics Anonymous)because the solution is in the 12 Steps as outlined there. Don't let it overwhelm you,just start at the beginning and move as slowly as you have to. Work as hard to stay sober as you did to drink. An often overlooked AA book which is excellent for newcomers trying to quit is "Living Sober." It contains practical suggestions on how to fight craving and other problems. I used it in my early days and often fought the suggestions. I would read a few of them and say to myself,"I'm not going to do that;what's the point?" The point was I would keep reading and finally find one I was very grudgingly willing to attempt without having any confidence at all that it would work. Guess what? It always did.


Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 12/9/2001
Time: 10:36:17 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic - Welcome (((Everyone New)))

At my very 1st f2f meeting I was introduced to a woman & told she'd be my sponsor till I could pick one for myself.

She told me I am to pray 1st thing each AM asking God to keep me from a drink or a drug just for today. & that I am to pray asking God to remove the desire/craving each time I get one during the day - & call her or one of the others who's phone #'s she had taken me around to introduce me & have me exchange phone #'s with.

She told me I am to call her each day. I am to get to at least one f2f meeting each day. I am to begin at inside of front cover of BB & read some each day & then discuss what I've read with her.

And I am to review my day each night before bed to think of things I am Grateful for because I am not drinking/drugging & to thank God for keeping me from a drink or a drug today.

She told me if I did not believe in God, that I could pray to her's because her's was working fine to keep her sober.

And if I wasn't use to getting on my knees to pray - toss my shoes way under the bed so I'd have to get on my knees to retrieve them & could then pray while down there anyway.

She also looked me straight in the eye & told me - if I couldn't do these simple things each day - then don't waste her time because there are too many who DO want help (so I was too afraid to not follow exactly as she said) - & it worked just as she had said it would!

Thank you for letting me share. Pam


Member: carla m
Location:
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 1:04:43 AM

Comments

hi..i'm carla and i'm alcoholic. i just got through day 9 and i'm so grateful. i really had to pray because it was really hard to not have a drink but i got through it. sometimes i get like really tensed and i think..i'll just have one but i know i can't. another thing that makes it hard is that my husband is a "social" drinker so we have lots of alcohol in the house so it's like a double challenge for me. all our friends drink and it's really uncomfortable sometimes to be the only sober. and they all know i don't drink and are always offering me one. i have to smile and say no thank you but sometimes it's like putting candy in front of child and telling them they can't have any. but not drinking makes me feel so much better on the inside. i think i feel less selfish and think about other's feelings and not just my own. i wasn't going to do christmas shopping this year because i just didn't want to and was getting resentful that i had to. i thought about what christmas is about.. sharing...so i spent all day shopping yesterday. i also put up christmas decorations tonight too because i want that warm homey feeling. my husband and i went to a boat parade today and everyone was coimg out of their homes with glasses of wine and i had to keep saying the serenity prayer to keep those craving thoughts away. but anyways thank you all for all your shares and larry it really really is hard sometimes but believe in a higher power that will guide you and you can do it.


Member: Drew H
Location: California
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 1:27:15 AM

Comments

Uhhhh - DON'T DRINK. GO TO BED. GET UP-GO TO A MEETING. DON'T DRINK BETWEEN MEETINGS. GO TO ANOTHER MEETING. Repeat.

At a meeting I had been hiding outside of for months I met a man named Fred P. He asked me if I was still drinking. I lied, like usual and said "No" Fred, who is about 6'-4" leaned over me and said, "You are a damn liar! You are probably also a damn thief and owe everybody in town either money or an apology"

I tried to stare him down but I was shrinking.

He continued, "go home, go to bed, get up and go to a meeting and don't drink between meetings. And when your at the meetings sit-down, shut-up and listen because you don't have any thing to say that isn't a lie."

He was right. I haven't had a drink since that Thursday night in September of 1989.

It's up to you.

Peace, Drew H


Member: HelenC
Location: Seattle,WA
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 3:16:36 AM

Comments

Yikes! Hello, folks this is my first venture into cybersobriety, oh boy how interesting. And scary. Congratulations to everybody getting sober. Can't add anything much to the advice exept that a copy of "Living Sober" was, and is a big help. Elsewhere on the net using all caps is shouting. Is that different here, or ARE some of you yelling? What is with the "don't do AA posts" ? Nobody has to, last I checked. Some of us like being sober. Better than getting sober, that's for sure. Do what ever you like, I'm just pretty sure if you are like me, it took God to affect soberiety. Helen


Member: Mark B
Location: Southwest Asia
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 4:05:56 AM

Comments

Mark, dope fiend alcoholic. Pain. Pain is a great motovator. It was pain that brought me to my knees from drinking and using. I figured out that if I didn't want to hurt anymore, maybe I should stop doing what was causing the hurt. I kept coming to those stupid meetings listening to people talking about things that I was going to take to the grave. You know, those secrets. But they would laugh about them. Man, they hurt!!! I'd be damned if I was going to share about those things, but, when I talked to people after those meetings, they would tell me they did the same things that I had. That by sharing about the secrets, they lose their power over you, the pain lessens. I was all about getting over the pain, I was willing to do anything to get out of the pain. I've since come to understand that my level of willingness was, and is, directly proportional to my level of pain. I used to love it, I'd be a martyr to further my sick wants and desires. Today, you pull the hair on my arms and I start screaming help! Show me how to get out of the pain, what do I do? Wonderous thing this recovery gig. I learned that if I don't drink, physically I don't hurt, or hurt people. If I change my way of living, I mentally don't hurt or hurt people. The way I change is laid out in the Big Book. Simple, requires no original brain power on my part. The book suggests this; If one is unsure about the disease of alcoholicm, try some controlled drinking. Try to stop abruptly. Try it more than once. It may be worth a bad case of jitters to get a full understanding of the disease. What that tells me is that if I question my disease, to go drink. If I've hurt enough, there is a solution for me. Today, 16 years and change, I've learned that I don't like or enjoy pain. I'll keep coming back, I might get a bit different.

Mark


Member: Lori Mc.
Location: Louisville, TN
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 6:18:11 AM

Comments

I'm Lori and I'm an alcoholic...good topic...I think the hardest thing for me to do was surrender...I kept thinking I could control my drinking but it controlled me...when I came to AA I learned that I drank because I liked the effect...not because of my husband, my mother, my dog, or my job...reality is this is a disease and I have it, no one gave it to me but I have it and AA is the only way I have found to maintain sobriety....It is the only place I can talk about the way I drank and not have people look at me funny (or crazy)...I learned I could make it 5 minutes or 24 hours with out a drink...and pretty soon those 24 hours added up to months and years...I no longer have secrets to keep or lies to remember...keep coming back and make meetings outside of this little box...the fellowship is part of what makes it work and you have to get out and shake a hand or two in order for this to work and be passed on to the next drunk with a question like yours...


Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa  Florida
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 9:01:41 AM

Comments

Hi All My name is Tom, a grateful recovering alcholic. Boy Larry do you sound like I did until 9 years 7 months and 25 days ago. I first came around AA over 30 years ago, but like you I just could not get very much time being sober. I know now it was because I was not ready. I had to get so sick and tired of being sick and tired before I finnally surendered. I can't say it any planer Larry you just are not sick enough. Like me you are going to have to go out there and keep trying. Then if you don't die, or land in an instutitaon, or prison, you might be fortunate and start getting serious. No one can do it for you. You have to do it yourself.

I don't mean to sound crule or uncarring, but I am serious. And that's what you are going to have to do. But you don't have to do it alone. We are all hear for you. When you are ready to get serious, go to a meeting and start with the basicks. Fine a sponser. Some one who has some success in the program. The longer the better, but at least a year or more. If you don't have one, get a Big Book. READ IT. Realize the stories in there are real. You will probably find yours there. You can't do it all over night, but you can do it one day, if nessary one hour at a time. I don't know how old you are Larry, but you don't have to take as long as I did to get it. Or maybe you will. the choice is yours. Good Luck and God Bless you, and keep coming back.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 10:22:10 AM

Comments

What a great topic! The first time I tried sobriety I showed up at a meeting with less than 24 hours. There were other men there who spent time with me and made me accountable for those first few days of withdrawal. I loved being clean, but I was not sober. I went over the steps with my sponsor, but I still had a lot of ideas I did not know how to give up. Like many insane people, I thought my thinking was real. After 6 months I was back out with a vengeance. I believed I was hopeless and the only solution was death. When we are insane we only think insane things. I wound up in a hospital and then a detox center. As my head cleared, I finally admitted complete defeat and it was in that I found humility and a willingness to go to any length to try something different. I was willing to admit I didnít know anything about staying sober and to follow the advice of those who did. I am grateful each morning for waking up sober and with serenity. I love life today and have a deep purpose in helping others find the same joy.

I would caution a newcomer who is experiencing delirium tremens to seek medical help, if you are to that stage of alcoholism, you may be in danger of seizure or heart attack. Then get your butt to AA, we live to help you.


Member: Tim V
Location: Poconos
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 11:08:50 AM

Comments

Thanks for helping me stay sober today.

Blessings, Tim


Member: Marie
Location: Hawaii
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 11:52:45 AM

Comments

Hello,I am Marie an alcoholic. I was told to get on my knees and ask God if there is a God to remove from me my obsession to drink and I was told to go to 90 meetins in 90 days. It worked for me. God bless us all. Thank all of you for keeping me sober one more day.


Member:  
Location: high country
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 12:20:44 PM

Comments

Larry, and Kara, I have been sober for a few 24hrs, and my best advice is one day at a time. Life isn't easy, but I can do it just for today. I go to meetings and call people in the program whenever I need help. You don't have to do it alone.

I try to keep it simple, just have the willingness to be sober, and turn over as much of my life as I can on a daily basis to my higher power.

As it says on the desire chip, "to thine own self be true."

Sober blessings!


Member: Chas B.
Location: Houston
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 1:09:01 PM

Comments

HOW TO STAY SOBER AS I UNDERSTAND IT:

1. Go to meetings. Every day, if possible. Try 90 meetings in 90 days.

2. Get a Big Book. Read it.

3. Pray to a God of your understanding. Ask Him/Her/It/??? to remove your compulsion to drink.

4. Find someone who will help you work the steps (a sponsor). Talk to this person regularly.

5. Talk to other alcoholics. I am very grateful for this web site. However, it is no replacement for face-to-face meetings. It's like the difference between "real" friends and "e-" friends. Ain't no comparison.

I heard an oldtimer once say that in his 20-something years sober, he has never seen a person relapse on a day in which he has done all these things. Never once. Sounds persuasive enough for me.

Good luck, God Bless, Keep Coming Back!


Member: Lorn
Location: Sonoma, CA
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 1:33:39 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Lorn and I'm an alcoholic. I've been screwing up really bad with my drinking lately and I just can't do this anymore. I was an AA member about 9 years ago and managed to stay sober for about 16 months. I'm not sure what happened, but I think I stopped going to meetings. I think I got cocky and secretly started judging others in the group. I felt like my sponser was tired of listening to me whine. I guess I just gave up because I got scared because it felt like I was struggling. Anyway, here I am again. I promised myself about 2 months ago that I was going to stop drinking because I had just gotten promoted at work and I really wanted to do good things. But here I am totally messing up. As much as I want to be sober again, I'm terrified of going to meetings in my small town and seeing someone I work with or for. I know that's really stupid but I'm so scared. Reading all of these posts today has made me feel better and my goal is to not drink today. Thanks for being here all of you.


Member: pam
Location: middle of nowhere
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 1:37:55 PM

Comments

Hi - I'm brand new to this and couldn't believe when I read Larry, Kara and Matt's comments. I too had a terrible weekend because once again I didn't know when to stop. My friends all tell me, I'm not really that bad because I don't drink every day, but then why do I feel so bad today??? I have always grown up in church, but now I feel like I'm begging and he's given up on me. I know I have a problem. I have called the AA number listed closest to me, but do not get an answer or even an answering machine.

Thanks for all the comments. I feel like I can start here.


Member: Bobbye E.
Location: m
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 2:22:12 PM

Comments

Bobbye here grateful recovering alcoholic,

I love first step meetings! 1. We admitted we were powerless that our lives had become unmanageable. The admission was the most difficut part of that step for me. I had all kinds of justifications, why I could not be alcoholic.

Took me almost 5 years to stay in AA. This variety of recovery works for this variety of drunk. I was too smart for my own good, and really driven by my ability to use people to stay sick, stealing and dishonest with myself and everyone else. The guilt, cause I knew ate me alive, everyday.

I was a periodic drinker, I always drank again, I always blacked out, I always felt worse never better after drinking. That is what always brought me back to AA.

What finally worked for me: 90 meetings in 90 days, asking someone to sponsor me and calling them everyday for the whole consecutive 90 in 90. (yeah I had to start over a few times to get it) Reading the Big Book cover to cover and discussing it at meetings and with my sponsor. Working the steps, talking to other alcoholics everyday, and participating in service work and my recovery.

Its still working one day at a time.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 4:15:26 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic Larry. I hope you, Matt and Kara keep with the process of recovery.

It is a process,that's for sure and there is no "magic" cure for the cravings... only TIME. We can not THINK OURSELVES WELL, but we can LIVE WELL AND THE THINKING WILL FOLLOW.

How? For me, it was what Mark B. referenced - pain. I had to hit a bottom in my drinking that I would have done anything - including leaving the world I knew when drinking and drugging - to make it stop.

Then, I started to go to meetings and hanging around people who could show me how to stay sober for one 24 hour period. As time went on and the cravings diminished, I started putting energy into learning about myself through the steps and changing some of the things I did and the way I thought.

TIME - Recovery is a process. But we have to start somewhere so why not today?


Member:  
Location:
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 4:17:35 PM

Comments

An alcoholic here. Pam, you can get in contact with someone, just keep trying.

The following address is to the AA central offices across the country. You can click on the state button, and get phone numbers from a number of central offices in your area.

http://www.aa.org/CtrOff_d1.html

The central office(s) can tell you of a meeting in your area, and times, also, there is usually someone available to talk with when you call. Once, I was in a very rough spot in my sobriety, the central office in my area was closed, so I called 1-800-555-1212 for the free AA 800 number, and got help that way. There is "always" another alcoholic out there that will greatly benefit in their sobriety if they can lend you a hand when you need it.

All you need to stay sober is the desire. Hang in there, and keep the faith that there is an answer that will work for you, if you want it, you will find a way to be sober!

Sober blessings!


Member: JL
Location: The Beach
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 5:03:05 PM

Comments

What a great topic and a lot of great sharing. I had no idea how to stop either. I got sixty days and started again. Then stop and start and through the cravings start again, I could not stop. When the cravings were the worst for me I tried to keep busy, but that worked only up to a point. One day I thought I would pray to have my higher power remove the obsesssion. You see I thought I had already worked the first three steps. But then I came to understand that I had to work Step One perfectly. I could not harbor the delusion that I was going to be able to drink safely again. It's all there in the book. You see I am an alcoholic. Until I surrendered completely and was willing to do anything it took to stay stopped nothing worked. But that day I prayed to have the obsession removed something came over me. It all sounds like gibberish, but that is my experience. Slowly, very slowly the cravings and obsession to drink began to subside. But getting back to a meeting the next day and mainly listening to the proof presented in those rooms was the clincher. Those folks had endured through thick and thin and were prepared to help me stay sober. I had to truly surrender, once I surrendered I could join the winning side. Stopping drinking was the hardest thing I have ever done. Staying stopped is very simple, but not easy. I have to go to meetings, I have to write, I have to pray and meditate, I have to read the text of Alcoholics Anonymous (up to 164), I have to connect with my sponsor, I have to be willing to share my experience, strength and hope. I have to do all of that and I have to do it every day I can. By myself I cannot get (or stay) sober, but as a member of Alcoholics Anonymous and with the help of a higher power we can all stay sober together. Reaching out for help was how I acted on this desire to stop drinking. I love alcoholics and I love Alcoholics Anonymous. It has saved my life.


Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, N.H.
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 5:53:28 PM

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm an alcoholic named Rhonda. Great suggestions! I had to first asked my Higher Power to remove the obession for alcohol. Thanks to that happening I was able to follow the suggestions and work the steps. Keep coming this program works great!


Member: joe
Location:
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 7:46:50 PM

Comments

to not joes biggest fan:

YOU SUCK MY DICK YOU BIG HOMO


Member: homods
Location:
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 7:47:15 PM

Comments

ha ha ha ha


Member: matt
Location: west
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 8:34:01 PM

Comments

Joe, Whatever credability anyone ever placed in your comments must have surely vanished with the last one you made.


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 12/10/2001
Time: 11:09:12 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic, Larry. Like some others who have posted already, I'd love to be able to say that I had to feel pain so bad or hit a low so very low that I was willing to do anything I was told to quit drinking. But, that wouldn't be the truth. For me it was one of my less admirable behaviors that finally got me really wanting to stay sober.

Someone in the program had guessed, that, ONCE AGAIN, I had gone back to drinking (even though I was going to a few meetings a week). And she told me it was OK. She said as long as I was being honest with myself and I recognized that I was still drinking and was not, in fact, sober, it was ok. And she said she'd still be my friend and support me. Well, you'd think this constantly-searching-for-approval drunk would have appreciated someone seemingly giving me sanction to drink. (I know now there is a huge difference between acceptance and love.) But, it didn't. It made me angry. And I was so PO'd, I didn't drink. For the next day. And I was still mad so I didn't drink the next day. Or the next. Or the next or next or next. Despite several years in the program, trying to work an honest program with a sponsor, attending meetings, I was finally, in spite of myself, NOT drinking 24 hours at a time.

And 24 hours turned into a week, then a month, then a year....and it's continued. 24 hours at a time. (Well, sometimes I can only go 5 minutes before I have to turn it over again because something is going wrong with my day.) But, I gradually started attending more meetings to find ones I truly fit into. And ones where people really had what I wanted. It took finding a new sponsor. And really, FINALLY, working the steps to the best of my ability to keep at it 24 hours at a time.

But I'm so very grateful I kept coming back. Please do the same. It's one of our cliches - but one I've come to love - "Don't leave before the miracle occurs."


Member: ROSE   C
Location: EAST
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 12:42:54 AM

Comments

Larry M, I hope you see this, for quite some time now I have been "listening" to everyone, too shy to even go online! I realized it was my turn to help so, Larry, you are a reflection of my former self. There was a time I thought it would be impossible for me to ever stop drinking, ever; i could not even imagine a sober day, not without fear & I drank for over 25 years! I could have died but by the grace of God, I relly mean that, a series a circumstances brought me to AA a couple of times.

The first time, I lasted a day or two but then i missed my "friend" (the bottle). The second time I lasted a little over a month & thought I was doing o.k., then my fathger died . . .

I am happy to tell you I have now been sober for over five years! I feel absolutely wonderful & I will celebrate another anniversary March 21, 2002! How appropriate since March 21 is the first day of spring (that's what the nuns always told us) & spring is always the dawn of a new beginning.

Larry, I have a couple of suggestions for you because you are intelligent & you want to make it, & you will. When you make up your mind to really stop, you'll have trouble sleeping the first couple of weeks, OH NO YOU DON'T!! STAY AWAY FROM THAT LIQUOR STORE!! If you have to stay up all night long watching television, reading or better yet, communicating with us on line do it, don't put pressure on yourself to sleep, the body will always rest when it is ready to rest, always, no matter how long it takes. I even avoided warm milk, the national symbol for getting to sleep quickly because if you don't get to sleep quickly, you will be putting too much expectation on the milk, you will get frustrated & you will delay your sleep even further, in your anger & frustration you may "need" something to "settle" your nerves & we both know what that should & should not be!

I took no stimulants, none but I did become an expert on late, late night movies. Give your body weeks/months to fall back into its regular sleep pattern; your body is use to years of alcohol, so you cannot expect immediate, natural sleep.

Another thing I did & still do was to join volunteer segments where I knew I could help other people, I made sure I kept so busy I did not have time to sit around thinking about alcohol; you don't know how much you have to offer other people until you get out there & discover talents you did not know you had, because they have been litterally "bottled up" keep yourself so busy helping other people (which always means helping yourself in return) & jog, run bike, walk swim, KEEP BUSY!! I want you to be dead tired at the end of the day because it will be a good type of tired, a blessed type of tired & the only thing that will hopefully be on your mind at the end of each day, are good, happy S O B E R thoughts of accomplishments!! I promise you will not regret it. If someone had told me years ago I would someday be completely sober, I would have accused THEM of being stinking drunk!

Larry, remember, it will not be easy at first but you sound bright & you deserve to give yourself a chance; you can only live one day at a time anyway, we have no down payments on tomorrow, which is not promised to us.

I want to remind everyone that

"MY NAME IS BILL"

will be on the ENCORE "TRUE STORY" channel:

12-12-01 10:00 pm 12-18-01 8:00 pm 12-23-01 6:15 pm 12-24-01 4:45 AM

The above times are eastern standard times, so you'll probably want to check your specific locale & guess what! you can order the DVD about BILL WILSON from Amazon.Com. They are very prompt & very courteous & this will make a great gift.

Happy holidays everyone! I would love to have you all visit me on line when I celebrate my next sobriety anniversary on march 21, 2002


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 2:26:21 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Once you have made that commitment, then you do whatever it takes. If rehab is necessary, as it was for me, then that route should be taken. When I left rehab, they told me, they had done all they could for me, go to A A and let them help me. November 23rd marked 14 years of continous sobriety. I am a firm believer that once you go 24 hrs without picking up a drink, you should know it can be done. I also believe that once you have put that first 24 hrs in the bank, there isn't anyone in A A who ever again has to drink for the rest of their lives. ONE DAY AT A TIME -IF THEY DON'T WANT TO!!!!!!! Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: Love
Location: Everywhere
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 3:09:05 AM

Comments

There was an experiment done in AZ with the Sand Wasp...It seems that the sand wasp gathers food and brings it back to it's hole in the sand.

I doesn't take it in right away, it sets it at the egde of the hole and goes into the hole to make sure there's no enemies.

In the experiment a scientist would wait for the wasp to go into it's hole and then he would move the food a foot away from the hole.

The sand wasp would come out see the food has been moved go over and get it, and set it at the edge of the hole and go back inside to check for enemies.

The scientist moved the food over 200 times before the sand wasp died of exhustion and starvation, then the scientist did this with over 200 wasp to make sure this first wasp wasn't wacked.

The wasp died with the food in it's mouth because of it's programs.

Our brains are 1000 times bigger and more complex than a sand wasp and our programs are a 1000 times more powerful.

However you act, whether it's on this site or outside in the real world you are running by your programs and we can all see them.

The Good news it's you can choose to create new ones.

I Love You All.

LOVE.


Member: MagdaR
Location: South Africa
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 6:47:01 AM

Comments

So good to discover that there is a whole world of people out there with a similar problem. I just can't stand my own drinking any more - had last drink 12 hours ago! Searched web in desperation for help of some kind. Please say prayers for me - I have to do it.


Member: STEVE
Location: NEW ORLEANS
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 8:50:48 AM

Comments

if you want what (we) have,and are willing to go to any lengths to get it,then(and only then)you are willing to take certain steps.i you want to drink,want to stop,or just going crazy,ask for help.NOW!!!!


Member: Paul R
Location: Kirkland, WA
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 9:34:14 AM

Comments

What a terrific discussion. I think I've heard everything I was told to do and did. After 37 years of drinking and drugging, I was finally at the spot where I was couldn't live with or without the bottle. I asked for help via a treatment center. Got directed to AA. My first AA meeting was in a bar! I knew from my first meeting, AA was for me. I still had conditions I had to get rid of. I went to meetings, got a sponsor, did service work, and worked the steps. One day at a time, I have managed to put together over four years. I owe it all to God and the fellowship of AA. I would like to through my support to the some of the suggestions that worked for me.

1. Get a sponsor and attend meetings. 2. Read the Big Book and the book Living Sober 3. Work the steps. The first three are about getting right with the universe. The next six are about cleaning up your past and getting freedom for the use of alcohol (and drugs. Steps 10-12 are the growth steps and for me, are my design for living sober one day at a time.

This has been an awesome meeting. I need to check in more often.

Love and Service,

Paul


Member: Sober alcoholic
Location: Northwest
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 10:43:11 AM

Comments

Rose C., don't think I want what you have. I slept like a baby while I was getting sober and had to stop my constant busyness, not step it up a notch. Your experience is just that: your experience. And what got you sober may keep someone else drunk. It's been said here, over and over, and it is true and real for all of us real alcoholics. Go to meetings, read the book, get and use a sponsor, work the steps, don't have a drink and do all this one day at a time. Still a somewhat defiant alcoholic, I guess. Don't like being hammered at by anyone and don't think any of us should be hammering away at anyone.


Member: Starla
Location: Canada-Ontario
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 11:00:41 AM

Comments

hello all. I've been in and out of AA for a few years now. I've always loved everything it has taught me, but yet I continue to drink. I am so sick of it. I really want to stop! of course it's easy to say after a night of drinking. But I really do want to stop. I just hate living this way. I feel like I have this big dark secret and it's so hard keeping it in the closet. I would love to live a week without knowing this shame. anyway.. I could go on forever.. but i'll end it here. I just want help.


Member: joe k.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 11:10:49 AM

Comments

Kara W. from Wild West: Thank you for accepting my comments in the manner which they were intended. I have been reading this site for quite a while, and my heart reaches out to those who turn to here for help. I have also seen much "advice" here by people who are perhaps well meaning, but suffer from something I do not understand. This format provides anonymity, perhaps too much to validate the information passed on here. My experience, strength and hope is meaningless to many of the readers here, because they do not have the opportunity to watch my walk and decide for themselves whether I am full of bullshit. That is why it is so important to get face to face with other recovering alcoholics. As a part of my recovery, I attempt to pass on what was freely given to me; an important ingredient to sobriety. I share here, and at frequent meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous, for that reason; and because, as a result of the step working in my life, I have the ability to love and care as never before. God bless you in your endeavors toward sobriety, and I hope you find the joy, peace and love that has been laid in our paths.

joe k. chillbmp@totalzone.com


Member: cj
Location: georgia
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 11:13:27 AM

Comments

Carla, Alcoholic. Sober today by the Grace of God and AA. When I knew that I didn't want to drink any more I came to the rooms of AA. This was the last house on the block. I had tried EVERTHING. I have not had a drink or used any other mind altering substances in over 2 years, A DAY AT THE TIME.

Addiction is the only disease in which the victim of the disease, as a symptom of the diease, does not believe that he or she has it despite conclusive evidence to the contrary. As the AA Big Book tells us, "The idea that somehow, someday he will control and enjoy his drinking is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker. The persistence of this illusion is astonishing. Many pursue it into the gates of insanity or death.

I am responsible for my recovery. I go to meetings. I try to help others. It does not matter how much sober time anyone has. We are ALL sober for TODAY and we can help. Even if it does not help the other person it helps me. I cannot get anyone else sober, but by working with another alcoholic it keeps me sober. There's an ol guy I go to meetings with that says "this is a simple program for complicated people". If I do a few simple things like try to work the steps to the best of my ability, try to keep my side of the street clean, and pray it keeps it simple and uncomplicated. I have peace and joy. My life is worth living today. If it can work for me it can work for you. There is hope. Just keep doing the next right thing. TRY. No matter what just try. The results are worth it. I don't know why God choose me for this wonderful journey. Maybe it was to meet people just like me. I am truly blessed today. Get an AA Big Book. Read the first 164 pages. See if you can find yourself in this book. Don't look for differences. Look for similarities. I find the solution to all my problems in those 164 pages. Welcome! I'm glad you're here.


Member: DARREL
Location: COLORAD
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 1:27:08 PM

Comments

GOOD TO BE SOBER, THE ONLY WAY I COULD STOP DRINKING WAS THAT I WANTED TOO, AND I HAD TO DO IT CORRECLTLY THIS TIME BECAUSE I WAS A TWO TIME LOOSER. BEFORE I REALLY DIDNT WANT TO STOP. THIS TIME IN MY HEART AND SOUL I WANT TO SO BAD THAT I WILL GO TO ANY MEASURE TO QUIT, YOUR MIND IS AS STRONG AS YOUR HEART AND ANYONE WITH A MIND AND A HEART CAN AND WILL STOP DRINKING, BUT THAT 18 INCHES FROM YOUR HEART TO YOUR BRAIN CAN BE A VERY LONG TRIP. THANKS


Member: ellen
Location: ny
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 3:02:23 PM

Comments

I know that it is not how much you drink, but how you FEEL when you are drinking, but how much DOES an alcoholic drink in a week/per day? I am just wondering for a friend, so that I have a better idea. Thanks.


Member: Barb
Location: with you
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 4:53:03 PM

Comments

By the grace of God, I recently marked my ninth year of sobriety. i remember struggling with attempts to control my drinking and losing in ways that left me sick and embarrassed. The promises seemed impossible, but they have come true. I try to increase and improve my faith daily. I reallize we are only granted a daily reprieve based on the maintenance of oour spiritual conditon. What a wonderful gift AA gives us in establishing our reliance on God. To all who still suffer- pray and keep praying- read " 24 Hours a Day" Thank God each night


Member: Susan
Location: Baton Rouge LA
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 7:44:00 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic, (I needed to remind myself of that today) 90 meetings in 90 days - get a sponsor - go to meetings, I was definatley an alcoholic of the "hopeless" variety and have been sober 2 years thank God!!


Member: Mike B
Location: Near Detroit
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 9:01:01 PM

Comments

Now this is a cool site...I've only been to two AA meetings so far. I've been sober since I was arrested for drunk driving 9 months ago. Nothing sobers you up quicker than 5000 dollars in fines and court fees. Anyway, just wanted to try out the site.....thanx for listening.

Mike B


Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 9:36:12 PM

Comments

Hi Ed alcoholic, This is a good topic. How do I stop? First you have to admit that you are powerless over alcohol and your life became unmanageable. If you work the 12 steps, you will find out that, that is the first step. You should read the Big Book and also study it. Attend AA meetings as much as possible because these people really do understand this disease. Pray to your Higher Power for strength and courage to make it through the day. At night thank your Higher Power for another sober day. Keep it simple and keep going to AA meetings.

How-Honesty, Open Mindness, and Willingness


Member: Lee P.
Location: Midwest
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 9:39:18 PM

Comments

All this advice is interesting reading. Here is all I know: I couldn't stop drinking on my own. It was beyond me. So I had to have a lot of help.. I had to fall down enough staircases and smack up enough cars and I even threw an empty vodka bottle through a car window I thought was open and I fell into a dumpster when I leaned over it too far to make sure the bottle I was throwing away wasn't too obvious (I was a paranoid drunk..) so that the problem could gain my attention. Then I had to become willing. When I became willing, God did the rest.

That's the only way I know...

Lee DOS: 5/12/99


Member: Bob F.
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 10:03:46 PM

Comments

I am doing a 5th step with my sponcer and he said I'm not ready because I don't have love in my heart for the people on my resentment list. I have acceptance and see my part in the mix of things, I also wish these people well and am able to see them as sick and suffering. Should I simply do my 5th step with somebody else??


Member: Josh K
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 12/11/2001
Time: 10:56:20 PM

Comments

I have just recently started attending AA meetings locally, and just found this one tonight. I started reading the Big Book, and I've been sober for 1 month 14 days. For me, I've had only a little difficulty. Most my friends are heavy drinkers. Although they understand my situation of being on the wagon, they still continue with their habits. This meeting looks interesting to me, and I plan on coming back more. Thank you.


Member: Dave F
Location: San Juan
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 12:12:38 AM

Comments

We often fail to realize the extent to which we are physically, mentally, and spiritually ill. Through ignorance we dwarf parts of our program to suit our distorted viewpoint. This must always be in the forefront of my program.


Member: ROSE C
Location: EAST
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 1:18:53 AM

Comments

TO SOCALLED "SOBER" ALCOHOLIC IN NORTHWEST: THE SUGGESTIONS I GAVE TO LARRY M WERE JUST THAT, SUGGESTIONS!! THEY WERE SIMILAR TO WHAT JIMBO & OTHER GOOD ADVISORS GAVE TO LARRY M; THEY ARE NOT IRON CLAD "RULES" CARVED IN STONE. IN ADDITION TO GOING TO MEETINGS, EACH PERSON HAS OR WILL HAVE MANY AVENUES OF HELP & EACH PERSON WILL DECIDE WHAT WORKS BEST FOR HIM/HER. YOU DID NOT HEAR ANY OF SAY THAT OUR THOUGHTFUL SUGGESTIONS WERE THE "TEN COMMANDMENTS".

YOU'RE RIGHT, YOU ARE DEFIANT, VERY DEFIANT!! BECAUSE SOMETHING DOES NOT WORK FOR YOU DOES NOT MEAN IT WILL NOT WORK FOR SOMEONE ELSE. YOU OBVIOUSLY STILL HAVE ISSUES TO DEAL WITH SINCE YOU SOUND SO BITTER.


Member: Graham M.
Location: Canberra, Australia
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 3:33:14 AM

Comments

Larry (from Dakota) asks about how we AAs stop drinking?

With, all due respect, Larry, in my opinion, that is an irrelevant question.

Why is it an irrelevant question?

Because it does not matter how or why you or I stop drinking - cos that issue is none of AA's business.

It does not matter how or why you stop drinking - all that matters is that (for whatever reason) there somehow occurs a small patch of time during which a very temporary state of non-drinking occurs - either voluntarily or involuntarily in your life.

We really don't care if that tiny 'Dry Spell' is brought about by you running out of cash or running out of friends who have well-stocked fridges - or if you stop from being slung into gaol or from seeking refuge in a Men's Shelter or in a Detox or from finding yourself locked up in a Psych Ward.

It really doesn't matter how or why that tiny initial 'Dry Spell' comes about - cos AA does not offer any 'Motivational Classes' (to 'motivate' you to stop) nor do we run Detoxes to help people to dry out.

We AA members are only 'qualified' to speak to those folks who have (even for only a very short time) ALREADY STOPPED DRINKING!

WE are not 'experts' on stopping drinking - only on staying stoppped!

Then, provided you want to STAY stopped, we have a whole raft of good suggestions (based on 60+ years of collective experience in Staying Stopped) to offer you - plus our very good wishes and some very hearty 'pats on the back'!

But how or why you stop (ie what degree of pain or how big a catastrope it takes to 'motivate' you to stop) all that 'background stuff' is really none of our business.

I know all that Pain and Suffering may seem important - but (in reality) it is only your 'Admission Ticket' to a better life - then come the important part - how to STAY STOPPED!

Sure - you're in pain - but all we really care about is that (somehow or other) you already have stopped - or are already motivated to stop RIGHT NOW - and do your stopping while we watch you do it - THERE AND THEN - only then (as I said earlier - when you have already stopped) we can help you to implement your deicison to stay stopped - cos the pain (for you) has got too much to bear - and you're prepared to go to ANY LENHTHS - to stay stopped.

Otherwise all we are often doing is to 'baby-sit' a lonely, pain-filed drunk and 'enable' him to keep on drinking and dithering and drinking and dithering and drinking and dithering!

BUT if that alky has already has *HAD* their last drink (and they wish to stay stopped for good and all but only one day at a time) most AA members will walk over hot coals to help that suffering (but now dry) alky to fulfil his dearest wish - which is to STAY STOPPED (from ever again picking up a first drink ever, ever again but only one day at a time) come Hell or High Water!

Best wishes,

Graham M.


Member: Leif B.
Location: Good , Sober Place
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 4:05:23 AM

Comments

Aristotle once said "What We Learn To Do , We Learn By Doing ."

Larry , you learnt to Drink Like the rest of us-by Drinking .You can learn how NOT to drink like the rest of us (In AA) as well:One Day At A Time .

If you're not sleeping , restless, maybe a bit paranoid , if moderate or minimal , could be normal : part of "withdraws" in street parlance -Alcohol Withdrawal Syndrome in Scientific Jargon . If your Symptoms are severe (What I call "Shake And Bake " i.e. :tremors and sweats ) if you feel like you're in real danger of drinking , dont be afraid to ask an AA member to take you to a meeting - THAT'S what keeps us Sober , above all else : Passing It On .

BUT , if you feel hopeless, helpless, like meetings are'nt working , there's no point to living - that drinking's inevitable , PLEASE get your ASS to either the Emergency Room of your nearby hospital , or call the AA number in your phonebook : they'll offer suggestions for whatever help you may need , be it counseling , or perhaps a stay in a Treatment Center for Alco holism / Addiction (Some of us have gone to such places ,even while Dry ;if we felt especially jittery , or "Down on our Program."

Try to realise , and remember , that by allowing us to help you , you're in turn helping us (sometimes more so.)

"TO THE NEWCOMER : Clear Away The Wreckage Of Your Past.. Give freely of What You Find And Join Us.. You Will Surely Meet Some Of Us As You Trudge The Road Of Happy Destiny .. "

May "God" Bless You And Keep You , Until Then ."

--- Big Book , pp.164.

Knew a commercial Fisherman "around " AA over 25 years , before he "Got" the Program .He always used to say "You WILL get Help to stay away from a Drink or a Substitute for One Day,if You Ask , BUT YOU HAVE TO ASK!! "

Power Of Example , that Old Salt :No-one is truly Hopeless - Some n Nuts are just Tougher to Crack than others -!


Member: joe k.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 5:26:46 AM

Comments

Bob F. Brooklyn - Pray about it; read page 74 of the Big Book; I'm sure your Higher Power will lead you in the right decision. The important thing is, just do it, or you may drink again. I wouldn't encourage you to go against your sponsor, but I would encourage you to validate your sponsor's directions with those found in the Big Book. My sponsor guided me through this book like a kid putting together his first bicycle -- it worked for him -- it worked for countless others -- it worked beyond my skepticism for me also. God bless you.

ellen from ny -- The answer to your question varies with every alcoholic experience; but one answer seems to be the same for all of us -- one drink is too many for an alcoholic.

Ed G. from Bryan and Graham M. from Canberra -- Thank you both for sharing... well said. God bless you.

joe k. chillbmp@totalzone.com


Member: Sandy C
Location: Scotland
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 8:10:46 AM

Comments

Larry, Iím Sandy and an alcoholic and Iíve been thinking about your question for a few days and canít really come up with an all-ecompassing, definitive answer. Iíve not had a drink for a few days short of five months and still find that hard to believe. My route to the first day without a drink didnít involve AA, rather it was what I now know, thanks to AA, is termed the rock-bottom one. An old story - drive while drunk, crash car and get arrested, end up in psychiatric hospital wanting simply to die. However in the middle of this nightmare I just knew that I could not drink again. I didnít have to ask your question - it had just happened and it was like a big sign in my head which said ĎNo!í The first two months were easy, perhaps because there were just so many other things to worry about. Then it began to get hard and every day became like a first day. It was almost as if the glass containing the last drink had only just been put down and how to stop and how to stay stopped were the same thing. (In a way I suppose they are - unless youíve got booze going down your throat at this very moment then youíve Ďstoppedí to the same extent as even someone who has not lifted a glass for 20 years.) I had heard about AA over the years like most of us and had a rough idea of what it was all about. That little knowledge had helped me take it a day at a time but I was now at the stage where I knew I just could not manage to stay away from drink without help. I found a web list of AA meetings and was amazed that even in the tiny village where I live there was a meeting every Friday. I called the AA office in Glasgow just to make sure and a few days later walked up the hill to the church hall and my first meeting. As a newbie Iím still struggling with God and the spiritual side of things but I do know that without AA I would probably be drinking today. I agree with Graham M that that AA is all about recovery, not stopping. If youíve put down your glass even for a minute or two then pick up the phone and call AA. You will have stopped and all the help you need is there for the taking. I wish I had been capable of asking your question Larry and I know it really is bloody hard but you have admitted that booze is in control, not you. I believe itís called the first step!


Member: Lydia
Location: Savannah
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 9:32:29 AM

Comments

good morning everyone.. I have been reading this discussion all week and truly identifying. Ego and pride have prevented me from sharing because I didn't want those who know me on this site to know that I went out and now have 4 days AGAIN.Well, I took the suggestions offered here: went to3 FTF mtgs, and this AM picked up the HEAVY telephone and asked this woman whom I respect to be my sponsor. She had come up to me last night at the mtg and asked if I was working with anyone,, practica;;y volonteered herself there and then, but I walked away. Well I slept on the idea of asking her and when I called her this morn she said she had been thinking about me too and wondering why I hadnt asked her then.So it seems it was meant to be. She gave me some "assigmnents" to do, told me to call her every day, etc, etc. Right now I feelso relieved and l am going to do Whatever she says todo and just tell my self will to SHUT UP. I know this will work ODAT. There. I feel better that I shared that. Have a good sober day, everyone. Lydia


Member: carla m
Location:
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 9:41:56 AM

Comments

hi, carla alcoholic...pray and read the book..talk to god. that's what i have to do. i opened my bb last night before bed and it's amazing how the page i opened was the one i needed to read. thanks for letting me share.


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 10:08:25 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Sarah and I am a recovering alcoholic. Others have shared with you their Experience, Srength and Hope, now I will share my Experience, Strength and Hope. Hopefully you will find some solutions in the shared Expereince, Strength and Hope.

For me it is about the "Healing Power"

I was an alcoholic ... I thought the "Healing Power" was alcohol. It sure felt like a "Healing Power". One drink would give me this feeling of healing ... physically, mentally and even spiritually. But ...

Is alcohol really the "Healing Power"? Alcohol was not my "Healing Power".

All the shared Experience, Strength and Hope has given me both the understanding that alcohol is not my "Healing Power" and suggestions of solutions to my quest of the "Healing Power". The twelve steps and twelve tradions give me suggestions of solutions to my quest of the "Healing Power", they help me ask questions of what is the "Healing Power"

'Is money the "Healing Power"?' Is sex the "Healing Power"? 'Is social acceptance the "Healing Power"?' How does my using alcohol, money, sex or social acceptance as the "Healing Power" affect my life, other peoples life? How does other people use of alcohol, money, sex or social acceptance as the "Healing Power" affect my life? What are my choices? What is the wisdom? What is the "Healing Power"?

It is my choice because it is my Experience, Strength and Hope(my life) ... both the similarities and differences have given me suggestions(wisdom) of choices I can make today, one day at a time ... Today I am a recovering alcoholic who has almost 5 years sober.

There is a solution. Thanks, one and all for sharing your Experience, Strength and Hope. I have found choices in your sharing of your solutions of Experience, Strength and Hope.


Member: Mike G.
Location: Washington
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 11:35:02 AM

Comments

Mike, an alcoholic here, and with a strange request.

First on the topic. I can stop, for awhile, but to stay stopped I have to be willing to take certain steps, like it says in Chapter 5 of the BB. For me this means, going to meetings, doing the steps, reading the BB, talking with my sponsor, and working with other drunks, one day at a time. I don't know much more than this.

Now to my request, I got married to the girl I was dating when I first sobered up. We've been hitched for quite awhile. While I go to meetings, she decided long ago that Alanon was not for her, nor my meetings etc., but she's a normie, and can take it or leave it. We have grown appart for years, gone back and fourth in our marriage and split several times. Quite honestly, she's told me to get lost so many times, I am sad, and don't know what to do. I have lots of friends in the program, and one who I like very much, but she's in early sobriety, and I have heard from others not to get involved or date any with less than a year of sobriety. So the question is, do I blow off my friendship with this woman in the program that I have a strong connection with, or remain friends with limits, or just get out of my marriage?

I have been to so many marriage counselors you wouldn't believe it, and quite frankly, I am tired of that route too. My number one goal is to stay sober, so do I just hang in and stay miserable in marriage? This has become an issue for me, and I do not want to drink over it, either way.

I'm confused, and I know there are some good people on this site that can put things into perspective for me. I appreciate spiritual help, and have always gotten what I needed from AA when I needed it most.

Thanks,

Mike


Member: Bonny G.
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 7:11:06 PM

Comments

Hi, Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic. I stay sober by doing first things first. What am I responsible for today? Staying sober is a gift from God for this alcoholic. I didn't know about treatment centers 12 years ago, but a friend was in AA and kind enough to let me know where the meetings were. I didn't know about 90 in 90; I knew I was sick and didn't want to be sick anymore. I just want to say that a few of us do go back out and come back. I drank after almost 4 years, and I drank for 4 months, but when I decided to come back to the program of Alcoholics Anonymous I made an effort to follow the steps. For those who are struggling with the desire to drink, I found that staying late at meetings, service work, such as cleaning the meeting room or washing the cups afterwards and going out for coffee and a chat was a good remedy to help stop the edginess I was feeling. Going in early and making the coffee and greeting others is good also. Staying sober today is remembering my yesterdays and doing what I know to be the next right move. "How" I stay sober is a blessing from God; Honesty,Open-mindedness,Willingness; these are the next "right" things for this alcoholic to do. I don't look for people to "rescue", I don't go to bars or allow people to drink in my home, and I thank God for the many blessings He's already given to me. I don't want to make drinking an option anymore for my problems, so I seek the advice of people who are my role models; and some of them are not in the program of AA. AA meetings keep me in touch with others who suffer to struggle with staying sober, church keeps me in touch with others seeking fellowship with God, and I have a friend who sees my heart, knows when I hurt, when I cry and when I'm happy, for this alcoholic, this is my way of life today. And I've got you all in cyberspace for the lonely hours at home. Thanks for being here.


Member: TMG
Location: North
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 7:13:21 PM

Comments

I don't know if this will help you or not, but it is certainly spiritually rooted, and like it or not, it is the truth! It's at

http://www.geocities.com/tmgnorth/th.html

With Good intentions,

TMGNORTH


Member: Lyla D
Location: Polk City, Fl
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 8:26:35 PM

Comments

Great shares, today. Graham, you are right-staying stopped is the key. I stay stopped by going to meetings, talking to other sober alcoholics, my sponsor and sponsees and asking my Higher Power for one more day sober and thanking Him for the day that is just past. When I came to the program, I was lucky and fell into a group of ladies with 20 and 25 years sober. They answered my questions and listen to my inane babble for months. My sponsor (the same one I started with 17 years ago) just celebrated 32 years sober and her sponsor just celebrated 44 years. They are both still active, going to meetings, sponsoring people and sharing their ESH with those of us that are still learning to walk the walk. My sponsor still says, "I don't know" when she doesn't and helps me find the answer. She told me a long time ago that the answer to all my problems was in the Big Book-the Steps. To those that have asked how to not drink-DON'T PICK UP THE FIRST ONE!!!!!!!! There was a man in our area that used to say "Don't drink, even if your ass falls off, strap it on and get to a meeting!" I have strapped mine on many times and, so far, it is working. Welcome to all the newcomers, you are home.

KISS, Keep It Simple, Sweethearts


Member: Dannie S.
Location: West Coast
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 9:47:00 PM

Comments

Hi, Dannie, alcoholic. To Mike G. in Washington: When I was sober 8 years ago, and trying really hard to do all the things my sponser told me, I had a "normie" spouse also. He didn't want to go to alanon either. But I found the longer I stayed away from a drink, the more I wanted to go out and do stuff and he just wanted to come home, have a couple of brewskys and roll a fat one and sit and watch startrek reruns. I guess when I was drinking, that didn't bother me much. We ended up divorcing and staying friends..so that's cool. After dating a few guys in the next few years, I found this wonderful man. He had about 6 months sobriety. We had a great run but he started drinking again after about 2 years. Now it's 3 years later. He hasn't stopped and we just had a terrible break-up. I'm only telling you this story because when I read your post it made me think...was getting into a relationship that early in his recovery a really bad idea? Also, know this... it's always 'one day at a time', so even though it feels really great to be with another recovering alcoholic, your continued sobriety together might not be in the cards. It really hurt me when my husband didn't show any interest in alanon, but it devastated me to see my boyfriend drunk. So anyway, here's my two bits: Stay friends with your new friend, figure out if and how much you still might love your wife, and make sure your not thinking of your new friend as a rebound or a sure thing (I don't mean sexually)if you and your wife were to split up permanently. If you and your wife split up, give yourself time before jumping into something new. This will also give your new friend more time to work the program and find her new self. This is just my stuff, Mike G. Maybe I'm full of crap. This is just 'one' observation, ok? Don't get mad at me. Good luck, Dannie. P.S. My Sobriety is my number one priority too, and I think that's how I stay "stopped"


Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 10:44:53 PM

Comments

My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. How did I stop drinking? I started not drinking again in 8/97. This is the longest period without drinking that I have had since I was 12 and I am 33. I can not take credit because I have tried stopping on my own. I owe these sober days to God and AA.

I think that stopping is the easy part. It is staying stopped that I have trouble with. I believe that I am alcoholic, I know what happens when I drink (blackouts, dui, fights, hospitals, jails, boucer scars, stange women, misplaced pickup, etc) Therefore I should not drink. Easy and simple. If I were not an alcoholic I would just not drink and get on with my life. Since I am alcoholic I also feel a certain way when not drinking. The book says restless, irratable and discontent. That pretty much sums it up. I need God and AA to be at all comfortable with being sober and to be any measure of a success.

I believe that AA and God can show me more than just how not to drink. I have had glimpses of freedom, happines, and just being comfortable. I don't think that I will ever be that way every minute of every day but this life is so much better than it was when I drank. It all starts with not drinking and trying the things that AA suggests. Some days we just hang on but there are those days that make it all worth it. It all starts by not drinking today.

If you are new - please know that you can do it. For me an alcoholic is a success on any given day when he does not drink. Some days we are blessed with so much more. I need to remember, I need to do my part in AA - showing up, coffee, wiping tables, rides, steps, reading AA stuff, prayer, sitting still and listening and remembering and acting like a sober alcholic who needs this stuff as badly now (today)than ever.

Today really is the only day I can not take the first drink. I cant crack open the cold beer yesterday and put it to my lips and I can't pour myself a draft tomorrow and slam it down. Yesterday was today yesterday. Tomorrow will be today tomorrow. AA is beautiful to me when I can remember. Thank goodness I remember today - I am even able to come here and type some words that try to describe my experience with drinking, not drinking and AA where I found a good power that solves my problem today to other alcoholics. I am on the way out the door to a meeting.... Thanks to everyone for being here.


Member: carla m
Location:
Date: 12/12/2001
Time: 11:48:07 PM

Comments

hi carla alcoholic. to mike g on your request. i completly understand how you feel and what you go through being married to a normie. my husband though is wonderful man whom i love very much. though he is very happy with my sobriety (though i had a recent relapse recently and he got really angry but i have been doing pretty good with alot of praying)he's never really gotten involved with my program, he seems to think that all you have to do is "stop drinking" and go to meetings and your "cured". i know i do not do this program the right way because if i did it would cause alot of strain on my marriage because i would have to give up alot of our time and his needs and i can't do it. i've coming to this site for 2 weeks now because i've found it's a way for me to be part of aa and not have to give up the little time we spend together. my husband is as important to me as my sobriety and i have to balance myself between the two of them. it sounds like for you though you don't have any support at all and that is bad because you are fighting two battles and one side has to lose. in your case, after all your efforts in trying to hold on to both it i think your sobriety must be the winner. hope this has been some help to you.


Member: Recovered Alcoholic & Addict
Location:
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 4:05:52 AM

Comments

Mike G's question: "So the question is, do I blow off my friendship with this woman in the program that I have a strong connection with, or remain friends with limits, or just get out of my marriage?"

Mike G - I would suggest that you live alone awhile as a single person to learn how to have a relationship with your own self & with God. Step 12 in the 12&12 says we must learn to be "God-dependant" rather than "People-dependant"

Coda Program is for those in need of help learning how to do that. Meetings or info is likely available to search for online.

Friendships in the program are based on being on mutual level of spiritual growth. A woman who is new in the program would not be on mutual level with you as she is just starting out (unless you also are just starting out & haven't completed your 12 Steps with a sponsor as yet yourself)

Friends care about the best well-being of one another & do not "use" one another for their own selfish self-seeking self-centered gain (at the other's expense). Her best well-being is that she needs to be free to work the program with her sponsor. Its an Honest Program - check your motives.

Friends do not have sex BTW. If your intent is "friendship" then what is the "with limits"?

Sobriety must be our #1 Firstmost Top Priority - or we have NOTHING else. Anything we put in that #1 slot as priority before our Sobriety - we will lose.

My suggestion is to put your thoughts on others. Get active in Service Work - help out in your Home Group - work the Steps with a good sponsor - check Coda if still having this problem inspite of all that.


Member: Lee N
Location: Rochester NY
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 5:28:03 AM

Comments

Hi Im lee Addict/alch the way i stopped drinking was hitting the bottom. The bottom for me was getting my 2nd dwai. I believe the only way for an alch to stop drinking is either to hit their bottom and be willing to go to ny lengths to live sober or by praying to a higher power for the willingness to want to live sober.

I have a problem the other day i called my ex roommate who i hadnt talked to in 5 months and who is a practicing alch. He suggested we get togather and reminice I told him id like to and it was a good idea. after hanging up I called my sponsor because i realized maybe it wasnt a great idea. My sponsor wasnt there qso i called my grandsponsor he advised i stay away from my ex. I later called my sponsor later and he told me it was my decision and id meet if i wanted to although he sugested now was probably not a good time (3 months sober) Id appreciate any help ne1 could give on this subject

Thank you for letting me share. Have a good sober day all Lee


Member: clay
Location: ME.
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 7:46:25 AM

Comments

I am clay and i am a alcholic; that word gets stuck on the key board to . Lee this goes along with the thing thats bothering me this morning . I do things subconiously to trip me up . I want to stay sober but inside is something that wants to drink . Drinking to that part of me was safe . I didn't have to feel anything . I could coast on autopilot . I find that the longer I go the less this happens . thats a good thing . So for now for me I stay sober don't die and go to meetings


Member: Lee
Location: MI
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 12:57:06 PM

Comments

Hi everyone - Lee here and a recovering alcoholic.

Larry M -- Some great advice has already been given. All I can reiterate is just don't take that first one.

Before you pick up a drink, can you think it thru from start to finish??? After the first one comes another, then another, and so on until you're drunk. Then who knows what can/will happen when we're drunk or in a blackout. Think it thru ---- get to the "end" when you're totally wiped out. You stagger into bed, the couch, or wherever and "sleep" -- actually it's not sleep, but that's what we'll call it. Then you wake up feeling like #$%%^. The headache, nausea, dry heaves, etc. -- that's just the immediate physical effects. Then you wonder how in the world you did it AGAIN??? You really didn't want to, right? You were only going to have just "one" to relax, right? But we never stop at that one. It's always the same story over and over.

Then we fight with the guilt, shame, remorse, wonder if we ran someone over with our car and check the news & papers. We try to remember everything that happened the night before, but we can't.

That's the insanity of the disease. Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Stop the insanity now. Get to AA meetings and attach yourself to members who have quality sobriety. Get phone numbers of people to call when you get the horrible obsession to drink and LISTEN to them. Then get to another meeting.

At first, I didnt' really like the AA meetings because there was too much God talk, but in the end it was God and AA who saved me from myself. Trust those people -- they've been there. God Bless! Peace, Lee


Member: Mike G.
Location: Washington
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 4:03:20 PM

Comments

Double dip here, Mike G. an alcoholic. Dannie S., Recovered Alcoholic & Addict, and carla m., thank you all for your candid and caring program advice. This has been a tough issue for me, and I knew that I could count on getting straight forward advice.

Bless you all for your sobriety and willingness to help another alcoholic keep sober and focused, a day at a time.


Member: timothy a
Location: gold coast,australia
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 7:47:33 PM

Comments

hi I,m tim and i am an alcoholic. Larry and kara,the best advice i have is don't pick up the first drink, and do 90 meeting's in 90 day's. It worked for me and it can work for you. Just keep it as simple as possible. GOOD LUCK!!!!!


Member: PJ
Location: Florida
Date: 12/13/2001
Time: 10:49:06 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is PJ and I am a recovering alcoholic. The basics of the AA program works for me: don't drink, go to face-to-face meetings & get a sponsor to help work the 12-Steps. I also found that a practical book of simple, short suggestions for early sobriety,"Living Sober", was quite helpful to me. In early sobriety, whenever I had a craving, I would call another alcoholic and let her know what I was feeling. After that, I found it helped to do a physical activity such as a long walk, clean out a closet, etc. The craving was lifted after those two activities. Reciting the Serenity Prayer over & over to myself helped me to focus outside the cravings. The program works only if you are willing to go to any length to stay sober. For me, that is following all of the AA suggestions just as they are explained in "Back to Basics". Pray to your Higher Power to give you the willingness to work the AA program. You are not alone in your journey. The AA fellowship will support you every step of the way. Blessings :)


Member: G. Bright  dos 3-2-82
Location: Hawthorne, CA.
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 8:49:26 AM

Comments

Lee N. You are asking for different opinions. Sounds to me like you are looking for someone to blame it on in case you do drink.


Member: carlene
Location:
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 9:46:47 AM

Comments

hi i'm carlene alcoholic. larry..one of the most important things we alcoholics needs to practice is being honest with ourselves and with others. which i have not been but i need to be in order to survive. i've been coming to this sight for 2 weeks now and saying my name is carla. its not. it's actually carlene. i apoligize to all of you who have read and responded to my shares. i was too embarrassed that someone who might know me would find me here and think less od me. that's part of my alcoholic thinking is always being worried what people will think of me and not love me for who i am. i guess becase i've let people hurt me too many times i try to protect myself. if you do not make honesty part of your sobriety you can never be truly happy. thank you for letting me share......


Member: Trish
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 10:08:41 AM

Comments

A lot has been going on since the last time I logged on. Not sure how to take your comment either, joe k. You really can't judge from reading one or two comments. Also, is it necessary to "bash" homosexuals here? Not really sticking to the issues. I think we are all here trying to help each other and seeking help ourselves. I have talked to friends of mine who either have alcohol problems themselves or are on the opposite end, where they are living with an alcoholic (in denial) and not knowing what to do. I suggested coming here and asking for help to both. I look forward to hearing from them and getting them both some help. Thank you all for the help you've given me so far. I will keep coming back!


Member: Trish
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 10:08:49 AM

Comments

A lot has been going on since the last time I logged on. Not sure how to take your comment either, joe k. You really can't judge from reading one or two comments. Also, is it necessary to "bash" homosexuals here? Not really sticking to the issues. I think we are all here trying to help each other and seeking help ourselves. I have talked to friends of mine who either have alcohol problems themselves or are on the opposite end, where they are living with an alcoholic (in denial) and not knowing what to do. I suggested coming here and asking for help to both. I look forward to hearing from them and getting them both some help. Thank you all for the help you've given me so far. I will keep coming back!


Member: shelly
Location: Indiana
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 10:19:02 AM

Comments

Hi. My name is Shelly, and I am in a relationship with my live-in boyfriend. He is an alcoholic. He has finally admitted it to me, after many, many arguments. I desperately don't know what to do. He says he will do anything to keep us together, but instead, he hides it from me and lies about drinking. I can always tell, and he always lies, passes out, and I find bottles hidden around. I know it would be easy to just give up and leave, but I would like to see him get some help. I know a little about things people do when they are active alcoholics. Active meaning he still drinks. Not everyday, but enough that it is serious. He doesn't seem to think so. We get in arguments when he drinks, because he stirs things up. He says things that don't make sense, and I get so frustrated. I have gotten to the point where I just don't say anything back when he tries to get me worked up, to prevent fights. But he says hurtful things and it's very difficult. He never remembers what he says, and the next day is always sorry. Then he will do it all over again. What can I do for someone who doesn't want help? I don't want to abandon him. Just for the record, he is a very sweet person, has NEVER laid a hand on me, if he did, I WOULD leave, but he is more of a "sleepy" drunk. He starts mumbling crap and eventually conks out. I clean the house or pay bills, or get on the computer when he does this so I don't feel so alone. Help!!!!!


Member: Rose
Location: Sobriety Lane
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 12:47:27 PM

Comments

I'm a woman that has the disease of alcoholism, therefore, I am an alcoholic. I've read most of the shares here and have received so many gifts today. I thank you for taking the time to say where you are and what's going on with you.

For me, I tried many things to stay sober and could do this for a short time but this wasn't good enough. I wanted more. By way of another alcoholic and his doctor, I found myself sitting in my living room talking with an AA member and then he took me to a meeting. After the meeting was over, he asked me if I wanted to stay sober one day at a time for as long as I lived. I nodded, "yes". He said, "You are home, gal!" Guess what? I've been home ever since.

How to describe AA to someone who has never gone to the meetings? I have found for each one of us the experience seems to be a little different but the outcome, if the principles of the program are applied, are similar. I know this sounds screwy to an outsider. AA is giving me a way of life today without picking up a drink, without thinking about drinking alcohol. It's like a 'new freedom'- sober, reasonably happy and content. I still have problems - things that come up that need to be worked through but I'm no longer in the bottle of whiskey or beer or champagne or wine. My mind is clear, not fogged up. My hands don't shake cause I drank, nor do I have to try really hard to think what I did yesterday... no more black outs due to consuming alcohol.

I cannot say what will happen to you or anyone else if you go to AA and follow their suggestive sobriety program. Only each one of you can tell us.

Yes, all caps is considered yelling but I figure that there may be some that come here that can't see too well and caps helps them/ or they are hard of hearing and need the caps to hear their thoughts. It makes no difference to me really as each person that shares helps me remember where I was before I walked into AA, where I was years ago, where I am today and where I want to be (projecting a little here, excuse me) in the future. You are my measuring yard stick in a way. I see things in me that I need to work on as if I don't, some where down the road; they will have become boulders and boulders not only hurt me but others I come in contact with. We each grow little by little, which I'm constantly reminded every time I come here. I grow by inches.

I heard that if you don't try AA, you'll never know if it can work for you. In the phone book, AA is listed. I phoned, maybe you too can find the courage to phone too. If you don't have a car, like I didn't back when I phoned, someone will come and take you to an AA meeting.

AA is for people who "want" sobriety, not for people who need it.

@--->---


Member: Gerald B.
Location: Hawthorne Ca.
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 12:53:25 PM

Comments

shelly please go to alanon. My wife did when I was drinking it helped a lot. I believe it was one of the main reasons that made me want to stop drinking.


Member: Nichole A.
Location: Center Point, Tx
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 4:21:23 PM

Comments

Shelly, I agree with Gerald B about going to Alanon it would do you some good to find out how the people who have been living with diease for years deal with it daily. These women and men know how to live with us alcoholics all we know how to do is be them. We are a hard lot to deal with and people in Alanon know what we are like and how to love us in spite of ourselves. This will also teach you how to live with the new freedom and happiness that we talk about because you will be working the steps for yourself and it will do you some good to live without the resentment that the family will have agaisnt the alcoholic. Remember that resentment is the number one offender.


Member: sober drunkrer
Location:
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 5:03:20 PM

Comments

Shelly, I agree with Nichole too. Reading your post let me know your boy friend is like me, and I am an alcoholic. The one fact about this disease is I cannot get anyone else sober. An alcoholic must desire to be sober for themselves.

However, I can take care of my self and help me get a healthy perspective on life and that is my first need, because if I get sick I cannot be of service to anyone else anyway.

Shelly, take care of you first, check out the Alanon thing for sure, and that will help.

Best wishes.


Member: KEVIN B.
Location: NM
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 11:07:31 PM

Comments

Larry, my name is Kevin , alcoholic. I removed alchol from my system over 11 years ago. I was left with the "ic". How to stop drinking, simple but not easy. The first drink is the worst drink. So don't take the first drink. Go to as many meetings as possible, at least one a day. GET PHONE NUMBERS "USE THEM". others can't help you if you don't ask. "GET A SPONSOR AND A BIG BOOK". Work the steps, so that means you will have to read the book. PRAY,PRAY,PRAY to what ever power you believe in. ASK for the obsession to be removed. I didn't do these things until I did noy want to live the way I felt inside and I didn't want too drink again. I ask GOD for help. the first thing he gave me was the willingness to do the above suggestions and much more. I have not had a drink for over 11yrs. Ijust show up ,do the work,and leave the rest up to GOD. IT is stories like yours that helps me to remender what it was like. Thank You.


Member: Chris S
Location: Asheville, NC USA
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 11:30:23 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Chris and I'm an alcoholic!

Just catching up on all the readings since Sunday. Thanks to everyone for sharing.

I was thinking first about how what I did over 10 years ago to get sober, still keeps me sober today. I remember how I felt after going to about a year of meetings, having prayed daily, worked on the steps with my sponsers. I was beginning to experiance the happy, joyous, and free the winners in the rooms talked about.

A few weeks ago I realized I was not happy. I have been angry, resentful, frustrated for about a year and half. I got scared. I realized that feeling this way could lead back to drinking or living a miserable existance, and bringing my wife and two kids along for the ride.

I have never stopped attending meetings. I had slowed down to 1-3 a week. Well over the last 3 weeks I have attended 4-5 f2f meetings at visited this site 2-3 times a week. I shared honestly with the group about having a resentment. Got alot of suggestions...some pretty crazy....like some of the stuff I read hear...some very practical.

I decided to do another 4th step. Last weekend I grabbed my big book and did a 4th, following the directions in the BB like I had been taught years ago. I got alot of relief but still was anxious about the resentment. Even though I did get to see I had a big part in the situation. I then did the 5th with my sponser, went home and worked 6&7, and this weekend am working in the 8th so that I can meet with my sponser to discuss the 9th.

It was much shorter this time than the last time. But the same steps, simple as they are, worked. I feel great! When the burden is lifted, and God will lift it, there is no reason for me to even begin to think of drinking. Sticking to the basics!!!

Also thinking about the guy with the marraige problems. I married after being sober 5 years to wonderful women who chooses not to drink. Not an alcoholic. I know if we would have met the firt few years I was getting sober she would not have married me. Point is I have changed so much in sobriety. I am a totally different person. The real me.

My sobriety is #1 almost always. If we did not have a 4year old and 2 yr old child at home she would still attend open meetings and retreats with me. We love each other so much, doesn't matter what were doing, I go shopping with her, she went to aa meetings with me.

I pray real hard when our relationship gets rocky. God has a solution to every problem in my life. I may not like it, but if I can accept it I will be ok. Faith, Faith, Faith! Acceptance, Acceptance, Acceptance!

No matter what, hold on to your sobriety. Thanks for bring it up.

God Bless everyone!


Member: Aaron J.
Location: Omaha NE
Date: 12/14/2001
Time: 11:58:27 PM

Comments

MY name is Aaron and I am an alcoholic. By god's grace, the program of AA and Sponsorship I have been sober since 10-13-96. Welcome newcomers and any birthdays. First I would like to say to the newcomers keep coming back it does get better. I would encourage all of the newcomers to GET A SPONSOR. A sponsor is person that helps to guide you through the step. My sponsor has guided me through many painful situation. Next I would encourage you to read the book called "Alcoholics Anonomyous" and work the steps on page 59 of the book. These steps enable us Alcoholics to make life changes, which in turn with god's love allows us to combat alcohol. Finallly I want to say you are not alone in this matter. It does not matter if you live in a national forest or and urban metropolisis you are never alone in this matter if you have a sponser and a fellowship. It is imperative that you find someone that you can work with. I makes ti some much easier on you and those around you. If you really want to quit drinking and living the way you are living we can help you. If this sounds like to tall an order for you, then you are welcome to keep trying your ideas. The groups I attend always welcome people back. I know this for a fact they welcomed me back twice! Good luck I hope you choose our way of life it truly is the easier softer way.


Member: Shocken'n amazed
Location: promises coming true
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 12:11:00 AM

Comments

Larry asks "how do I stop" I don't know. For me, I put the drink down and picked up AA. In other words, instead of drinking, I joined AA and slowly without my noticing, the days slid by and some where along the way; the craving left me. The sleep came after 5 weeks not drinking but my sponsor told me "you will not die from lack of sleep. you may go crazy but you won't die." she was right on both counts. LOL I asked questions: no dumb question in AA they told me so I asked for help and got helpers to help me. The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous book) says something along these lines: if you want what we have and are willing to do what we did to get it, join us and do the same and the gift of sobriety will be yours too. so I did what they did and am still doing it today. it's been a couple of 24's that I haven't drank. I think it's working. :o) So I guess, Larry, my question to you is this: how bad do you want sobriety and how much will you put in it to get sober?

keep coming back.......it works, if we work it!


Member: Mike C
Location: Moses Lake,  WA
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 1:23:03 AM

Comments

Larry it sounds like you are ready to do what it takes to stay sober. Get a sponsor attend meetings as often as you can and read the Big Book and 12 x 12. I would also reccomend 12 x 12 meetings. It has helped me a great deal. I have been doing this for 7 years and it is the best thing that has ever happen to me. Only deal with today and it wont be so overwelming. One day at a time.


Member: matt
Location: west
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 3:24:09 AM

Comments

I checked in earilier this week, recounting a drunking night and my wish,like larry to stop. Many people had great ideas. Most said 90 meetings in 90 days and to read the big book. The meetings I understand, are very important. I am worried I will see someone from work at one. I know many will say "he just doesn't want to get sober, or he would do anything to get sober", but my job is kind of sensitive and I feel that it would be too wierd to see someone from work at a meeting. what about seeing that person back at work, do I just knowingly nod at them in mutual understanding, or do I act as if I had never seen them before. I have never been anything but totally sober for my job (never drank the entire work week, on friday night drunk, saturday recovery= tv, water and food, sunday normal and monday back to work) but what would these people think. Would they say "I wonder if he's drunk right now " ? I know I can't do it on my own and I know I need more than chat groups to stay sober. I guess I'm just in denial. I was drunk last friday and had a toughf time staying from it this friday, after ony one week! what really helped was what LEE from MI said, to look at it from start to finish, the finish anways being self loathing and regret, a sure bet that starts with drink #1 and allways occures. Any suggestions?


Member: Michael T.
Location: Portland - Oregon
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 6:19:38 AM

Comments

Larry M. and others like you your not a minority, alcohol is a drug,it will bend your mind and body to the point of almost no return. There are many ways to stop after almost being pronounced dead twice I found rea- son to live (grandchildren 5) I set my mind to quit 9/24/96 and have a V coin to show it. Try medical help and back it with AA daily. I've seen it work for some with meeting's to back up the help..


Member: Fred D
Location: Edmonton AB Canada
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 10:19:36 AM

Comments

Hi friends, my name is Fred and I Am an alcoholic. Having said that, the healing begins. Only through admission and acceptance can this alcoholic begin to heal.My particular strain of the disease of alcoholism has many facets. I have to understand first that I was born insane. Why else would I use a poison to ease my pain and create my own reality? Never in my life have I ever beeen able to take a drink or any other substance without getting thirsty. Why would that fact ever change? It won't. So what needs to change? it's not rocket science figuring that one out. I need to change. and i need to change everything, not just the things I think should change. I am an extremely lucky alcoholic because i sobered up ion a city where we had about 750 meetings a week and I could hit a meeting any time of the day or night. I call that my high-speed recovery because, believe me, I needed many meetings. I was extremely mentally unstable,anti-God, and anti-religion, and very angry at the world when I arrived at these doors. What saved my ass was one simple truth. I was put in contact with some of the best old-timers around and they all told me the same thing. Get to lots of meetings.don't drink between meetins and find God(or your higher power). Too many people come here trying to find that miracle cure and get frustrated because it doesn't come to them right away. What a crock!!! It's always there when you look for it. For this alcoholic to stay sober for 24 minutes was a major achievement in the beginning. Today i am 2 weeks away from my 9th sober birthday. Herein lies the miracle. Without AA and God I most certainly would be dead. Every day we stay sober is the miracle. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND ON YOUR KNEES.ASK GOD FOR HELP. BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY SOBER MINUTE. DON'T EXPECT EVERY DAY TO BE A CAKEWALK. Take life as it comes and learn to live in the minute. There is no such luxury as instant gratification for the alcoholic so don't expect it. Do the work. Find God. Go to meetings. Get a Sponsor. Don't drink. Pay attention to those who have learned. Bill & Bob and those first 100 members knew I was coming here. They wrote me a 164 page invitation to join them 15 years before I was born. Take your recovery serious. Sobriety is not enough for this alcoholic. I need to have recovery from my own insanity so AA and God walk with me every day, everywhere. If you only want to stay sober, then just go to meetings. Don't bother to get involved or to help out. When you tire of looking around envious of everyone else's recvery then you are really ready to do the first step completely and follow that with an honest and complete working of all the steps and traditions. By the way, that big blue book sitting on your coffee table or on the shelf: Read it till you understand some of it, then read it some more. There is another interesting piece of literature that often gets neglected, "the 12 x 12". When i need recovery, it's always there in our literature but I have to seek it. It's called "Working the steps". Try it. You will be amazed like it says in the promises(you'll find them in the book too). If anyone wants to e-mail me, I'm at fdombro@alberta.com.I wish everyone contented recovery and a Merry Christmas.


Member: Lorn
Location: Sonoma, CA
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 10:22:22 AM

Comments

Hi, Lorn here. I know what you are going through, larry from dakota and matt from west. I've been struggling with my alcohol problems for so long I'm just sick of it too. I haven't had a drink in about 5 days. That's when I discovered this site. I come here for a little while in the morning before work and at night to read these posts. All of you have really helped me to log this short period of not drinking. I am also afraid of seeing people I work with (or for) at a meeting, but I know this is a step I must take in order to attain a quality sober life. For me, this first part is turning into a choice... is being temporarily embarrased really so bad when I know I need to talk face to face with other alcoholics in order to stay sober? You guys are teaching me that it's way more important to be honest with myself than to deny myself what I really need. Two days ago, I found a site that lists every meeting in my area... so I have no more stupid reasons for not taking this next step. I'm still scared... might have to drive around the block twenty times before my car turns into the parking lot of that meeting...Hell, my heart is pounding just thinking about it! Dumb, believe me, I know it. But I KNOW there is something waiting for me at those meetings. This morning I'm going Christmas shopping. Something I wouldn't be able to do on an average Saturday morning because normally I'd be so hung over, drinking water would be a challenge. My goal today is to get to a real meeting. Thanks everyone for being here and helping me to get on the right track. Lorn.


Member: Fred D
Location: Edmonton AB Canada
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 11:42:54 AM

Comments

Hi friends, my name is Fred and I Am an alcoholic. Having said that, the healing begins. Only through admission and acceptance can this alcoholic begin to heal.My particular strain of the disease of alcoholism has many facets. I have to understand first that I was born insane. Why else would I use a poison to ease my pain and create my own reality? Never in my life have I ever beeen able to take a drink or any other substance without getting thirsty. Why would that fact ever change? It won't. So what needs to change? it's not rocket science figuring that one out. I need to change. and i need to change everything, not just the things I think should change. I am an extremely lucky alcoholic because i sobered up ion a city where we had about 750 meetings a week and I could hit a meeting any time of the day or night. I call that my high-speed recovery because, believe me, I needed many meetings. I was extremely mentally unstable,anti-God, and anti-religion, and very angry at the world when I arrived at these doors. What saved my ass was one simple truth. I was put in contact with some of the best old-timers around and they all told me the same thing. Get to lots of meetings.don't drink between meetins and find God(or your higher power). Too many people come here trying to find that miracle cure and get frustrated because it doesn't come to them right away. What a crock!!! It's always there when you look for it. For this alcoholic to stay sober for 24 minutes was a major achievement in the beginning. Today i am 2 weeks away from my 9th sober birthday. Herein lies the miracle. Without AA and God I most certainly would be dead. Every day we stay sober is the miracle. GET OFF YOUR ASS AND ON YOUR KNEES.ASK GOD FOR HELP. BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERY SOBER MINUTE. DON'T EXPECT EVERY DAY TO BE A CAKEWALK. Take life as it comes and learn to live in the minute. There is no such luxury as instant gratification for the alcoholic so don't expect it. Do the work. Find God. Go to meetings. Get a Sponsor. Don't drink. Pay attention to those who have learned. Bill & Bob and those first 100 members knew I was coming here. They wrote me a 164 page invitation to join them 15 years before I was born. Take your recovery serious. Sobriety is not enough for this alcoholic. I need to have recovery from my own insanity so AA and God walk with me every day, everywhere. If you only want to stay sober, then just go to meetings. Don't bother to get involved or to help out. When you tire of looking around envious of everyone else's recvery then you are really ready to do the first step completely and follow that with an honest and complete working of all the steps and traditions. By the way, that big blue book sitting on your coffee table or on the shelf: Read it till you understand some of it, then read it some more. There is another interesting piece of literature that often gets neglected, "the 12 x 12". When i need recovery, it's always there in our literature but I have to seek it. It's called "Working the steps". Try it. You will be amazed like it says in the promises(you'll find them in the book too). If anyone wants to e-mail me, I'm at fdombro@alberta.com.I wish everyone contented recovery and a Merry Christmas.


Member: Stephanie M.
Location: West Coast
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 2:49:53 PM

Comments

Steph here...alcoholic. I just started going to AA meetings. Had 8 days of not drinking...they were soooo great. Then I slipped for 8 days. I feel ok tho. I knew I was going to slip. I couldn't live the rest of my sober days with a birthday the day before my anniversary with my ex-husband. One drink is all it takes. I knew that one drink would probably not mean just one drink nor neccessarily one day. It was 8. I feel lucky that it didn't turn into 8 months or 8 years! I knew I was playing with fire. I feel guilty that I drank. The 8 days of not drinking were miraculous for me. I had asked God to lead me to the Church of God's choice for me. I knew I was in trouble and needed help. It felt like a matter of life or death. God led me to an AA meeting. Everyone who spoke at that meeting eased my doubts and concerns about AA. It was like God talking to me through them. I am powerless over alcohol...my higher power is my help...Thank you AA...everybody here.!!! I am an alcoholic. I began consumming excessive amounts of alcohol in my late 30s. The disease developed and progressed...but doggone I am beginning to realize I was always powerless over alcohol. I am powerless over the effects of my families alcoholism for many generations. My higher power will help. Big wow!


Member: Bill O
Location: Lee's Summit, MO
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 4:09:19 PM

Comments

Hi ya'll. Bill, alcoholic, addict, etc. When I first came around I went to TONS of meetings, got a sponsor who is still a real dear friend, and started racking up clean time. I spoke to my sposor often, and followed many of the suggestions given me. I did not, however, work the steps other than just reading them and reading about them. My sponsor, at his recent 16 year celebration, said the "the 2nd step is something I might get around to sometime in the future." I went in and out several times, racking up 89 days tops! I wne to an NA meeting, at the beginning reading they metion "total abstinence from ALL drugs, including alcohol" and the light bulb went off in my head. So that's how they do this! Marajuana maintenence was not going to work out for me. I met up with another sponsor, actually began WORKING the steps with his help. and began getting some actual sobriety, as opposed to just "clean time" I suggest working the program with a sponsor. Without a Higher Power it may never happen, though some such as my first sponsor decide to use the "Cosmic Muffin" and get away with it. I need face to face meetings with other alcoholics, and I NEED to give away what I have been so freely given, else I will loose it. It has worked since August 4, 1990, and thanks to everyone out there it is working today. Honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness are all you need. May God be with you and keep you sober for one day!


Member: Chris H.
Location: FLA>
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 4:26:25 PM

Comments

I'm Chris..I'm alcoholic/addict/bulimic--To Pam who thinks that GOd may have given up on her. One of the beautiful things I have learned in this program is that you are never too low for God to pick you up. He never gives up on you . He is just waiting for you to ask Him for help. All I can say about th topic is that we are all just one day away from a drunk. It does get easier, though , if you are working your program and on the look-out for potential problems. A friend (good friend) said to me the other day..What you need is a drink! She knows I go to A.A., BUT DOESn't really believe that I am an alcoholic. I guess I need to talk to her. Because of my physical situation , I have been out of the social circle for quite a while. We are going to a party tonight. I always needed a drink to get through a party becuase I really felt uncomfortable and "less than". I guess I just have to keep reminding my self that I really am O.K.-- I am a little nervous about how I'll feel about myself. However, , often my H.P. will help me find someone who helps me get through it. I guess I should think positively!!! Thanks for letting me share!


Member: Fred D
Location: Edmonton AB Canada
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 5:31:35 PM

Comments

Here I sit again this afternoon in the cyberzone with God and AA. I am very blessed indeed because anywhere, anytime I can have a meeting. I have God all the time today. I am extremely grateful to be able to recognise that.Too many people don't find their God and for them I am truly sorry. My life is totally complete with God and AA. It wasn't always so. If you tried to tell me 10 years ago that i would be happy, sober and spouting God, i would have told you that you were crazy. Life is very go od for this alcoholic and it has nothing to do with my efforts. Staying sober is not easy but it is simple. the easiest thing for me to do is to drink so i am today what i consider an abnormal alcoholic. I am sober by the grace of God. God's will won't take me anywhere where his grace can't keep me. So show up, shut up, and listen. You never know when someone will say something that will save your sorry ass. Don't miss it because of pride or ego. Noone among us sobered on their own. We all had help. Pick up the phone, go to meetings, listen, get a sponsor, get a big book and read it, don't drink and above all,pay attention to your own changes.


Member: Randy W
Location: NC
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 5:53:10 PM

Comments

This is my first time in an online meeting. I was first introduced to AA in 1987 and have never gotten more than 90 days under my belt. I am a cross addicted person that has really struggled.I have been told that I make the program "too difficult", and that I need to keep it simple. Could I get some feedback?


Member: Carol H
Location: Lake Erie North Shore
Date: 12/15/2001
Time: 7:07:53 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Carol and I am an alcoholic. I have been sober since September 11th. I will never forget my first day of sobriety. All I can say about what steps to take to stay sober to take is what ever steps you can. Go to meetings!!! Try various meetings with different people and find the ones you feel comfortable in. Make friends with sober people. Look around the meetings pack pick a few people that you fell you could be friends with. Pursue those friendships, these people have much in common with you. Keep busy. Do those things that you always said that you wanted to do. Whether it is a hobby, home repairs, or go back to school etc. Start doing this that you liked to do before. Be honest with yourself. Do not forget what you were like and what you did when you were drunk and understand that you only one drink away from bing like that again. "Stop and smell the roses." Look at the world around you with sober eyes and appreciate the beauty that is there. Appreciate the world that is around you for your enjoyment. Everything and anything you can do to stay sober for just one more day will make the next day easier to stay sober.


Member: Nomination Information
Location: Tech
Date: 12/16/2001
Time: 12:30:17 AM

Comments

Steering Committee nominations will close tommorow night at 11:59 p.m.(GMT -05:00)

Some names posted on the nomonation page have not confirmed their self-nomination with the Steering Committee via E-mail as required.

If you forgot or if you e-mailed and have not recived a confirmation e-mail from a Steering Commitee Member, please e-mail steeringcommittee@stayingcyber.org before the close of nominations.


Member: Marti H
Location: Arizona
Date: 12/16/2001
Time: 1:03:10 AM

Comments

Larry and others, this is my first time posting here. Suggestion 1) dont pick up the first drink, no matter how bad it gets. 2) get a big book and try to read as much as you can on a daily basis. 3) get the book Living Sober. It has suggestions on how to put things between you and that first drink. 4) Get phone numbers of people you can call any time of day or night, when you want to drink, and call them first. 5) get the number of your local AA office. Many times they are staffed by volunteers 24 hours a day, and you will always have someone to talk to, call there if you want to drink. And, go to meetings.

Good luck. Marti H


Member: Mim M.
Location:
Date: 12/16/2001
Time: 2:34:04 AM

Comments

Hi, one more day sober & what i've realized is that step 1 is the only one you have to do 100% to admit to being powerless pushes denial away. This was my biggest problem & when I surrendered to that step I never took another drink, almost 10 yrs (in 5 days), I think it's a hell of an important step.