Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 12:43:52

Comments

hi all,how about a topic of a POSITIVE,attitude vs. a negative attitude.when my attitude gets negative i"ve got to pull it back,or i"m flirtin with disaster.how do you keep on a POSITIVE note. my name is tony and i"m an alcoholic.thanks!


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 13:09:29

Comments

Hi, Corinne here, Alcoholic everywhere!

Thanks for opening the Topic Tony, and how appropriate for me today! The phone line to my connection has been on the fritz since Friday, and when the guy came out today to fix it, he didn't. When I first checked in here this a.m., no topic had been selected, and in trying to figure out how to get to that place that brings up a Topic, couldn't find it and couldn't stay connected long enough to find it!

That was alot about not much, except to say that it could have gotten this Alkie muchly p.o'd. It's really hard to stay positive in the face of such adversity, any kind of adversity. I like what I've heard about Serenity. My level of serenity is directly proportional to my level of acceptance. Serenity... Ah what a concept! We have a guy in our meetings who constantly rages on about the touists creating traffic havoc! Not surprising that he and my husband were in the same Anger Management Program about 2 years ago. I told him yesterday, in jest, that he was making my ulcers bleed! He took it well.

It's hardest for me to keep a positive attitude when my body is not cooperating, which is too much of the time. I found myself starting to get all weepy again last night about it, and lifted myself up and off the bed with the thought that at least I have 2 fairly good weeks every month. When I am being faced with my husbands raging, I look upward and find a close friend consoling me and hear what they would be telling me instead! I don't know what it is about looking upward, but if I start to hang my head downward, I start believing the crap set in the trap!

Hope everyone has a great week. :) Corinne


Member: Sandy B.
Location: Topanga, CA
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 13:53:37

Comments

Hi I am Sandy and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic Tony. This is my first time to this meeting and boy did I need to hear this topic. My husband is complaining that I have a bad attitude today and I am defending my right to the hilt. I hate to admit he is right. I gues I fear he will leave if he sees my warts. As if my bad attitude isn't enough to drive anyone out the door. Know the truth and it shall set you free. The first step is where I have to begin. I am powerless over alcohol and my life is unmanagable. My alcoholism centers in my mind and I am powerless over that as well. My fears are a character defect that I must take to God for him to remove in his way and his time. Until then I better get my but to a meeting and keep my mouth shut with my husband. As my sponser says...try a bit of humor and don't take yourself so seriously.

I thank God for my sobriety and all the love that I have recieved from AA and my family. It has healed the lonliness that almost killed me. If you are new. The pain passes and there is joy on the otherside no matter what you suffer from, I speak from experience. So don't quit before the miracle happens. Thanks for reading and I look forward to reading your shares. Sandy B.


Member: Karen  C
Location: CA
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 14:59:53

Comments

Tough Thanksgivng, but somehow I managed to keep it sober, and that was a first. 16 days today, and my attitude was not exactly positive this weekend. I kept telling myself that it just wasn't fun, a celebration without alcohol. I have a lot of learning to do and I'm hesitant I can pull it off. I sure could use some positive feelings in my life. I'll keep reading here. I did go to one meeting before the holiday and met a really nice crowd. Problem is I'm afraid to commit, and I don't need tet down another group of people. Sorry about the negativeity, I'll try to turn it. Think positive, I'll try.


Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 16:26:58

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) so happy to be here with all my wonderful, loving, caring AA family -- good topic ((tony)) POSITIVE ATTITUDE, the only way I know to keep that is to do what was first suggested to me, I go back there when I am in any discomfort, that is first make a gratitude list, somedays at first it was I can see, I can hear, I can walk, I got up without a hang over, I know where the car/kids are, I know where I am etc - reading pages 60thru63 (self will run riot) 449thru452 (acceptance) and 83&84 (the promises - hope for the future) I read these pages daily for at least 5yrs until they became part of me, I knew them by heart before they started to make sense, let me say that the promises do come true for I have lived with hope, love, peace and happiness for the past 4+yrs nonstop, this I only had glimpses of thruout my sobriety but today I wake up with it daily, no matter what goes on. I am so glad I did not give up 5mins before my miracles and believe me I wanted to many times but I believed all of you that said this too shall pass, when sh-- would hit the fan. I love my life today and the people in it. that was not always so. I God Box everything/body that gives me a moment of concern and today I trust that He will take care of IT/THEM and put them exactly where they belong and with His decisions it will be for my highest good. basic suggestions that I took that got me on the right path, go to meetings, pray (talk to HP), get phone numbers, use them, buy a big book & then a 12&12, read them, get a sponsor -same sex- and work the steps, find someone with quite a bit of time that has something in their eyes or smiles that you want - an angry or depressed alcoholic can only tell you how to be angry or depressed - find someone who has some similar life styles for a sponsor, if you're a night person, get a night person etc - take suggestions, for your best efforts brought you to AA (last resort for most of us) (the grace of God gifted you with this chance (AA) to live a life beyond your wildest dreams) find friends -same sex- with the same amt of sober time to share notes with, like why is my leg twitching, gee mine is too, dont be afraid to pose questions at an AA meeting, like I'm mentally foggy, will this ever clear up?, I'm 10 yrs sober why am I hurting so bad, thought I should have this all worked out by now, what area should I be looking at? these kinds of things that our egos want us to avoid but can kill us if we keep it to ourselves.(we are only as sick as our secrets) the only stupid question is the unasked one, so enjoy the journey, you have so many wonderful things to look forward to. the bad times only make the good times feel so much better, embrace the pain, it is just God trusting you to grow, thank Him for the opportunity. My prayer today is *Dear God, thank You for what You've given me, thank You for what You've taken away and thank You for what You've left. that always leave me in a better place when I say it. Dear God please bless all who venture here. love and hugs, bon bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Kathy F
Location: Carlisle,IA
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 16:34:22

Comments

Hi, my name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. This is great topic Tony. I'd say that about 85% of the time I'm staying positive, but man when I get down I get down. Right now I'm battling in my head of whether I did the right thing today or not. I didn't attend a get together for my brother's birthday. I did what I wanted to do for once and I should feel good about that. I can't stand my brother - he abused me all through childhood and whenever I see him it still brings back those memories. What makes it all seem so hard is that even though my dad knows what went on back then he thinks it doesn't matter and that I should attend family functions. I also didn't go because they have blown off too many of my birthdays and my husband's birthday. (I don't think I'm doing it as a get even but that is what is bugging my head) I just know that I don't like being put in a place where I have to sit and talk with someone that treated me like s**t all my life and act like were friends, maybe if my dad were in my shoes he'd understand.

Any way back to the subject (sorry had to vent) when I do have a negative outlook then it is usally because something is upset in me. I have to look at was I need to do to fix things inside. And just pray that God will help me see things more Positivly. Thanks, Kathy F


Member: Ted B.
Location: Montreal
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 16:34:27

Comments

I'm Ted and I'm an alcoholic. For me, keeping a positive attitude is as simple as doing a gratitude list - what's good in my life versus what's bad? If I'm not drinking today, the good already outweighs the bad, and anything else on the positive ledger is a bonus. The power of prayer also continues to impressive this erstwhile skeptic. KAREN, I used to think the same thing: What's a celebration without drinking? Today, thanks to AA and the 12 steps, a celebration without drinking is a celebration without vomiting, without fighting, without stupidity, without remorse, and with clarity of thought and sincerity in my words and actions.


Member: Ken J
Location: Alberta Canada
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 16:51:17

Comments

hi i'm ken and i am an alcoholic. great topic in the beging i felt the need for positive thinking so i proceeded to learn about and read about positive attitudes. well it's not easy but if i can keep it simple and have the faith the size of a mustard slim,who i call my higher power,usually provides the things i need to be ken. when i put me the great me into the picture i become neg. simple yes easy no!!! just stay sober and it will come


Member: Frank V.
Location: Edmonton, AB Canada
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 17:23:59

Comments

Hi, Frank here and definitely alcoholic!

Appropiate topic Tony! Attitude for me is the fondation for sobriety. I have struggled with my sobriety for many years now and one thing remains constant...I am an alcoholic now and forever! It has taken me a very long time to accept this. I have been around AA for the better part of 5 years and it really wasn't untill this year that I have been able to accept what I have done in the past. Now more importantly I believe I can now work one day at a time with the right attitude, and know that tomorrow will come.

Attitude is a state of mind! I now accept that I choose for that state of mind to be negative, neutral or positve. I owe it to myself to choose the latter. I truely believe that I have completed step 1, finally!!!!!

Thanks for reading, antother 24 for everyone.

Frank V

Edmonton


Member: Marilyn W.
Location: Marietta,OH
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 20:06:58

Comments

I'm Marilyn and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here and I'm glad I found you. I was thinking what a difference a positive attitude can make just about an hour ago! Wow, thinking about something positive, what a change that is from the old me! I was talking to someone in the program today and this is her 2nd sober holiday season and she made the comment that last year she just wanted to get through sober and maybe this year she can enjoy it more. God sends me those reminders frequently when I listen and that helps alot with my attitude. I always like the part in the Big Book where Dr. Paul talks about having a new pair of glasses, so much of his story helps me to refocus my thoughts on the positive. I also realize the longer I am around the more willing I am to try different things to become positive because of the benefits of a positve mind. You know like a gratitude list or a meeting or calling my sponsor or someone else in the program or reading the Big Book or tking a walk, anything to get me out of me. Well, thanks for the topic and I hope everyone has a sober week! Mariliyn


Member: Deb R.
Location: Kansas City, MO
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 20:42:40

Comments

Hello all, I'm Debbie and I'm an alcoholic.

First time to an on-line meeting and appreciate the opportunity to gather strength from others who have been there and done that.

Great subject. I have often found myself wrapped in a shroud of negativity and discovered that finding the true source of the "bad attitude" can be elusive. If I turn it over to my Higher Power and review my gratitude list, without fail, my attitude is turned around. I used to view the possibility of this kind of miracle only available to the "Pollyanna's" of the world, certainly not for me. But I am sooo very grateful for the tools afforded me through the fellowship of AA. I no longer discount others experiences and methods of getting through the tough times.

Thanks for the opportunity to share.

Deb R. KCMO


Member: Tanya  11/21/97
Location: Seattle
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 20:53:24

Comments

Hello, I am an alcoholic and my problem is Tanya. Boy, isn't that the truth!! Positive attitude, what a good topic for this time of year. It feels like it's just dark and cold all the time, which weighs heavily on my mood. I guess when I'm sitting under that black cloud where everything seems hopeless I just try to pray to deal with it, and try to see any potential positive in a negative situation. If I am frustrated with school or my job, I try to be grateful for having these things; not everyone does. If something isn't going my way, I try to be good about recognizing that having "what I want to" and doing"what I want to do" isn't always in my best interests, and maybe my HP has a different plan for me. Lastly I guess I pray a lot. I know I already said that but it's worth mentioning twice!! Thanks everybody!


Member: David H.
Location: N.S.-Canada
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 22:03:53

Comments

Hello Friends, I'm David and I'm an alcoholic....... Something has been on my mind [ what's left] all day. Phoned a A.A. friend to-night about a problem [ not a.a. related]. He told me he was headed into towm . Asked if I was going to Wayne's 20 year ann. . I had something on my mind all day, this must have been it. Could not believe I forgot it. Have been announcing it at meetings I attend for 2 weeks.{m I made the meeting}. Feel very POSITIVE at present. God Bless for now Yours in Sobriety--David.


Member: Don Z
Location: Pleasanton, CA
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 22:24:38

Comments

I'm Don, and I'm an alcoholic. Recovering from Thanksgiving right now and a tiny little invisible bug which apparently is a power greater than myself. So we had scheduled a retreat this weekend with Father Tom W. and ended up in our room at the retreat house missing all the cool talks about recovery. Very funny, God! But before we konked out he had said something about healing takes time, and sometimes it hurts. And for the day we were bedridden, sober friends would stop in with sodas, crackers and chicken soup. So even though things were not going the way we wanted them to, there were reasons to be grateful. We learned a little about acceptance and even had to ask for help. I'm gonna stop planning anything.


Member: dean s.
Location:
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 22:41:51

Comments

hi, my name is dean and i am an alcoholic. i believe a positive attitude is a result of positive thinking. so think positive.


Member: Linda B.
Location: Toronto, ON
Date: 29 Nov 1998
Time: 22:51:42

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Linda B. and I am definately an alcoholic. I am very grateful to be sober today. Lots of stressful things going on in my life right now and I have had to keep repeating the serenity pray several times in my head today just to keep positive. Just bought a house, first time buyer and as much as it is exciting it is stressful. But I have to remember that if I was still out there practising to be a good alcoholic...I probably wouldn't even be buying a house righto! I am grateful for my sobriety today and the strength God has given to be positive today. Thanx for sharing all and thanx for listening.


Member: karen b.
Location: tucson,az
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 00:33:49

Comments

Geez, sometimes I just want to scroll down and put my own comments in - and probably read it later. Instead of reading others' comments! Ha - now that's self-centered, and maybe not the way to get the most out of the meeting. A positive attitude is a great topic. Sometimes I just pray 'please God, direct my thinking!' because I know I'm having a hard time. What works best for me is to get with other alcoholics. I hear (or read) what I need and I also realize that I'm not the only one who's struggling to grow up. I'm thankful and I mean so-o-o-o thankful that the obsession to drink and pop pills has been removed for today. Thanks to everyone for putting in their comments.


Member: steve b.
Location: monroe mi.
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 02:31:55

Comments

Hi my name is steve B. I'm a master at negative attitudes. they say they are two types of days good days and growing days. when my attitude is bad it's because i'am not on good spiritual ground.usually by not going two enougth mettings I half to get outside of myself,work with others and remember to remain small.as alcoholics we half to live our way to better thinking not think our way to better living.As everything in A.A.It's repetitive and takes time.So keep pluging away. make a graditude list and remember to remain small.Just a small story,I almost lost my thumb at work and after I came out of surgery I was complaining about my thumb poor me poor me symdrome and I could'nt understand why God did that to me I looked over and the guy next to me had no HAND! So I could'nt complain to much.So if I go to mettings and listen someone else is in a much worse situation than me. it allows ME to get outside of ME and I forget about my attitudes. So attitudes come and go depending on me and were I'm at spirtualy oh by the way me and thumb are doing fine and my attitude still needs alot of work.


Member: nev s
Location: queensland, australia
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 09:09:49

Comments

G'day friends,i'm nev, a very greatful recovering alcoholic, 3 short months ago i was wallowing in my disease and had nothing but negative thoughts going on in my crazy mind,this negativity fueled my drinking and the more i drank the more i fell victim to this way of thinking.the positive way of living and thinking that i now have thanks to this wonderful fellowship, starts each day positivly when i say 'just for today i won't have a drink'.my dictionary offers this definition for negative:expressing or implying denial.a word i think we're all familiar with. best wishes to all,thanks for letting me share.


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 09:47:33

Comments

i am an alcoholic, my name is richard....... i try to keep an attitude of gratitude... stay humble..pray to god often ....rember page 449...balance with the serenity prayer.....i dont drink or drug...i didn.t wake up in a jail or mental hospital this morning...very gratefull for even wakeing up...lots of love to all!!!!!!!!


Member: Max J.
Location: Central, WI
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 09:57:16

Comments

Hi all, Max J. alcoholic, good topic Tony, positive mental attitude, when this alcoholic starts felling down in the dumps a little soul searching helps, alive, sober, great family support, good health, etc. and I have to remember how it was, drunk, sick with hang overs, divorce, jail, etc. it helps me get back on track, also going to a meeting puts sunshine back in my day, keep on smiling, life is good.


Member: cliff w
Location: N. E. Kansas
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 10:10:17

Comments

Hellow everyone, My name is cliff and I am an alcoholic! ! ! ! ! !

Love the topic. An attitude of gratitude is the recipe for emotional heath as well as physical well being. I heard that I was sad about not having any shoes untill I saw a man with no feet. The Good Lord has never let me or mine go without one meal. You know? When you think about it all we have to do is breath and put one foot in front of the other and we will end up where we are supposed to be at the appointed time and not a minute sooner. I can not control what God wants and my alcoholism tells me that I can. And that is a big part of what makes me an alcoholic.It's all about Gods will in Gods time. If I could have controled my drinking I would not have ended up in AA. Now learning how to live sober is whats in front of me to do.SO with one foot in front of the other I will trudge the road of happy destiny and I will continue on in the fellow ship of the spirit with you all. GOD BLESS ((((( hug)))))


Member: Eddie G
Location: Alabama
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 10:54:08

Comments

Hi. I've never been here before, but I believe I need help. I don't know where to start. If anyone can help me find a way to start, please do. Thanks,


Member: Karen C
Location: CA
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 12:12:36

Comments

Hi Eddie, I,ve been coming here for 17 days now, and the positive discussion you get here will help. Get a Big book, Get to a meeting, and Don't drink today. I think I'm teeling me as I'm telling you. Just do it. BONNIE, your remarks were wonderful, I read those pages, it helped, and Ted, I'm glad to know you understand, and your right, I did not fight this weekend with my son and for that I am grateful. Thanks all and keep it positive.


Member: BettyH
Location: Wellesley MA
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 13:19:28

Comments

BettyH - Alcoholic

Great topic! A.A. = attitude adjustment. Sitting at the registry ready to take the test to re-enter the driving world I looked in my 24 hour book and it told me the only thing I had any control over today was my attitude. Great advise. It balanced me for the moment and I got my license back. Father Martin lectures that we must remember never to forget. I remember how negative my life was and how I tried to end it. Today I'm sober and alive and while the situations in my life are still grim at times, I remember never to forget and work hard on my thinking problem. Tomorrow is the anniversary of my brothers death at 24 of an overdose. There but for the grace of god go I. Love. BettyH


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 15:40:52

Comments

Larry, alcoholic

If I stay out of my own way, my attitude will be positive. I think serenity is the natural state of mind. I don't need to think positive, I just need to not think negative. I have to go out of my way to dwell on negative stuff in order to sabotage my serenity. I used to be very good at dwelling on negative stuff, even getting all worked up over things that hadn't even happened yet - I'd just assume that things would go wrong and I'd get myself upset about it. Thanks to my program, I now quickly recognize when the stinkin' thinkin' starts and catch myself before I go too far with it. Sometimes the solution is to simply think about something else. For tougher situations I find meditation very helpful. As others have already said, acceptance and gratitude are very important to maintaining a positive attitude.

I find that action is also necessary. If I'm doing positive things - going to meetings, exercising, playing with my kids, gardening, etc. - my attitude reflects my actions. If I allow myself to sit around doing nothing, my alcoholic mind will try and find something negative for me to think about. I need to get out of myself and allow my mind to settle into its natural, peaceful state.

Thanks for letting me share.

Peace & Serenity


Member: David A
Location: Eastern A>
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 16:18:30

Comments

Hello My name is avid andI'm an alcoholic just want to sat thank you all for being there.


Member: Bill T
Location: Eastern Shore MD
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 18:24:39

Comments

My name is Bill, I am an alcoholic. I am an old timer who has become unplugged - not drinking, just unplugged. And I want to thank everyone here who has reminded me of page 449. I had not thought of the wonderful message on that page for many a moon. 449 points the way to positive thinking. Also let's hear it for newcomers who are fresh and green and still learning and consequently re-teaching some of us old-timers who have become complacent!


Member: Jamie L.
Location: Belmar, NJ
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 18:29:38

Comments

Hi group, I'm Jamie and I'm an alcoholic/addict. They say there are no coincidences! 30 minutes ago I was in a pretty negative space, fearful, angry, all those emotions this alc hates to experience. Fortunately my Higher power was good enough to put another recovering alc in my life here at the office and we had a mini-meeting. One of the first observations he made was that I looked tired. Could that be tired as in H.ungry A.ngry L.onely & T.ired? MMMMM? Could it be I was burning the candle at both ends like I did when I was active, and now my body and mind are retalliating? Thanks to all those who have shared previously. Faith and gratitude go hand in hand with keeping a good attitude, but let's not forget to HALT when we are feeling a bit of "stinkin thinkin"! Love you all


Member: Maxuel
Location: Murphy, NC
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 20:22:16

Comments

My name is Max and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. My attitude is not always positive. I'm only human; I have ups and downs like everyone else. What I do have which is different from most people is an attitude of gratitude.

I am grateful that I didn't have to get up this morning with that feeling of regret and self-loathing which I used to have after a night on the booze. That "I told myself I wasn't going to get drunk and I did it again!" feeling.

To Eddie G. -- You have already started!! You just took the first step to a sober and satisfying life! That is a promise that will come true in your life if you only take the next small step and contact a local AA group. They are in the yellow pages under "Alcohol-Alcoholism". See if you can get in contact with these people. They are just like you, only they have an answer to their alcoholic tendancies.

Happy anniversary to me. Seven years sober today! Couldn't have done it without folks like you who keep me "coming back for more".

Love to all. Maxuel


Member: Paul C
Location: Antioch CA
Date: 30 Nov 1998
Time: 22:33:32

Comments

Hello Everyone. I am Paul, a Grateful recovering alkie.

It is now during my 3rd year of soberity that I have begun to take a hard look at how negative, judgemental, oponinated and critical I really am. I see now that I have spent a lot of time pissing and moaning about people, places and things. Its not a pretty site. So, this last year I have put an earnest effort into daily reading my self-help books, 11 of them. I listen to positive talk tapes. And I try to walk away or shut my mouth when I see the old pattern of negativity coming out of my mouth and heart. What we feed into ourselves first thing in the morning often sets the pattern for the rest of the day, therfore I like to feed my mind and spirit with positive affrimation first thing after getting out of bed. Yes, often I have to start over during the day but thats ok I'm allowed to. I can't say I'm alot more positive than I use to be but one thing is certain, I'm more positive now than I was 9 months ago when I started. I will keep truging this path to a happier destiny. Love Ya all.


Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise, Idaho
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 00:29:28

Comments

My name is Robert, and I am an alcoholic. Hello to all. Welcome to the newcomers--you don't ever have to take another drink if you are willing to go to any lengths for victory over alcoholism. Happy Birthday, Maxuel. I do not take control of my attitude, I give it to the spirit. My experience has been that taking control of anything leads to expectations, frustration, and disappointment. Not everyone approaches this the same, and this is what works for me.


Member: Karen B.
Location: Tucson,AZ
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 04:12:55

Comments

BILL T. - I'm also an old-timer that has felt unplugged from AA. Until i hit another emotional wall and made some calls to my ole and true AA buddies - partners in recovery. This site is also excellent. A friend says 'what I remember most about my last drink in that is may not be my last.' I don't like to feel scared, so I get into action. It can become a daily habit again. I'm with you on this one. And Eddie, please be good enough to yourself to get to meetings and meet eyeball to eyeball with those who've also been where you are. Thanks to all.


Member: PattiK
Location: Mountains
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 04:25:27

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Patti, alcoholic, all the way. I was two in September. Any parents, or grandparents out there know how 2 year olds are. I change from letting go and holding tight every few minutes sometimes. I know who is in control but I keep trying to know better, I guess. I seem to think I know, sometimes, how everything and everybody should be and do and act. The difference today is that I don't act on those thoughts of control anymore. If I slip, I apologize. And it is about acceptance. We can't change anything. I'm a great fan of Jesus Christ Superstar. In the film He says to Ceaser, "It's all fixed, You can't change it.". that is true of all life, I think. The only thing I can control is my choices and they are very much improved since I stared praying for the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. That is what saves me, and the people around me. The serenity prayer, as needed, in any situation. That is what changes my head around, yelling for Help, from my Higher Power, who I choose to call God. When I was a child, I had faith to move mountains. This is my goal. But they tell us we can't be perfect, life can't be perfect,and it is this imperfection we have to accept. Everything happens for a reason and God gives us what we need if not always what we want. Prayer helps. Thank you all for making my thoughts positive today. Thank whoever first mentioned 449 and those who reminded me until I finally re read it. My big book is opened to that page. I think I too will read it often. Eddie G form Alabama, keep it simple. Don"t think, don't drink, go to meetings. It's hard to imagine at first but I'm here to tell you that it works. God Bless.


Member: chuck le c
Location: Yreka, No Calif
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 06:15:25

Comments

my name is Chuck and i know i am an alcoholic. I wasn't a practicing alcoholic i was a journey man alcoholic. I listened very intently to a lady early in this weeks messages. Her name was corine and she was from camino, Calif. I launched my drinking career there in the Mich. Calif lmbr co mill i was there when it opened in 1951. I was 21 1 or two hrs from nevada and did we ever go there to drink and chase women. the point i am going to make is that we have to have an attitude of gratitude to hang on to the positive aspect of our lives. You stay positive dont fall for the poor mes etc. i never got out of a negative mood by myself. The word is selflessness we get so ful of ourselves we cant see what is happening. A real sick alcoholic has saved my butt many times. When i started to think about him her my attitude changed. I became positive in my life. in 33years of sobriety a sick drunk takes me back to where it all began. And for that i am forever grateful


Member: Rivner
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 09:08:33

Comments

Howdy! Alcoholic; Rivner. Had a sponsor tip me toward an interesting insight. Had to do with me feelin a bit threatened by my wife's dancin' with an old beau at a night of sober dancin'. The sponsor asked about why I looked like I was kickin' my chin. I offered back my twinge of jealousy. He countered with: "You're lookin' at it all wrong. You should be grateful and thinkin' about how much your jealous feelings are actually reminders of what's important to you. You should be thankin' that guy." Now I can't say that say that I went over and told that guy how much pleasure he was given me while I was watchin' him dance with my wife. I never liked him much anyway, and trusted him about as far as I could throw a cow by the tail; but, I sure had a whole new spin on jealousy - one that never would have come to me on my own. It's just amazin' where one can find a positive attitude; and I'll be kiss-my-goat-smellin'-a**! Sorry. It just slipped off my tongue like a fat, silver moon! Riv.


Member: Kent H.
Location: lovingitsoberinTN
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 09:35:17

Comments

Hey folks! This is Kent, a gratefully recovering alcoholic. Haven't visited this site in a while and thought I'd drop by. Good to see discussion with a positive spin. All I can say is Keep It Simple, Keep Coming Back, and remember that any bad situation can be made much worse: just add alcohol. Thanks to all of you for being there and helping me learn how to live.

Serenity, Kent


Member: George M
Location: Philippines
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 09:40:21

Comments

I'm George, an alcoholic. First time on-line in AA, and I'm grateful to hvae read all these interesting and largely positive sharings. Certainly props up my own attitude. No meetings where I live, so this life-line helps me to feel positive. Staying close to AA is essential. But nobody is perfect, as someone wrote, and it's not always easy to put gratitude in one's attitude. One thing that certainly helps is to have had a happy childhood and to have learned to trust people and believe the worldis a safe place. But when we listen to stories in the rooms--how many had such childhoods? Perhaps we did but have forgotten. At least I have learned that AA is a safe place and I can trust what I learn there. For that I am grateful. --George


Member: Dick C.
Location: Il.
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 12:54:38

Comments


Member: Michelle V
Location: Chicago IL
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 13:28:03

Comments

Hi, everybody, my name is Michelle and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks for all your comments--they are what helps keep me sober. I didn't realize how negative my attitude was until I came into the program (duh!!! how could I, I was drunk most of the time). Anyway, now that I'm here one thing that really helps is to say "Thy will be done"--sometimes I say it over and over. It never fails, soon I am at peace and all is well. I still get pretty lonely (not the gut wrenching loneliness of drinking, though)and sometimes I feel a real sadness for the fact that I don't have a love relationship, my son has cut me off, and my family is spread out all over the country. But, whenever I start feeling that way I start talking to God. Then I know I'm not alone and that He will take care of me. Thanks everybody for sharing!


Member: eric m
Location: s. new jersey
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 15:14:23

Comments

hi, my name is mike and i'm an alcoholic/addict. Just finding my way back to the rooms. I'm going to my first meeting in 2 years tonight Some recent events have led me back, nothing like when I came crawling in a few years ago, but the things that happened scared me and I remember being at the bottom, not a place I want to visit anytime soon. As far as the topic, when I'm in a negative mood, that's when I get in trouble. and the day or week after a night out usually builds up alot of negativity. i just wanted to get my feet wet and introduce myself in this medium. thanks eric


Member: Mandy B
Location:
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 15:57:28

Comments

Hi i'm mandy and i have the desire to stop drinking today. Great topic. lately i have been in a bad headspace i have just recently gone back to school and the pressure is getting me down, i have a fear of failure and i have been down on myself this week because i wasn't getting the "best" marks but i need to remember that before program i wouldn't have been able to attempt school. the 12 steps have given me the "chance" and that i am grateful for. i am also grateful that this meeting is here. sometimes i feel out of place because of my age (20) just want to thank you all for your acceptance and love. this will be my first sober Christmas (God willing) i'm coming up to a year and i never thought it could be possible. thanks again for the topic my thnking has really changed, i no longer feel out of place. i am just another addict who is going to any lengths today to put down her addiction. thanks too for the big book pages i have never read it before. may God bless your recovery Mandy


Member: Connie-Alcoholic
Location: CT---------MO
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 18:01:17

Comments

Positive attitude verse negative--thanks tony g. for the topic.

I used this or tried to use this the whole vacation in CT/Vt area. We flew out her for thanksgiving. It was very hard to stay in tune with the positive all the time when there is so much negative around you, to see and look at. I am really grateful, to have this program to come to wherever I am in the US, because, the meetings helped me stay focus on the positive this whole trip, and my friends in the rooms, and my sponsor too. I could have easily fallen into the old patterns, but I didn't thank God.

Have a happy and sober day.


Member: Debbie C
Location: Colorado
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 19:33:39

Comments

Hi, I am Debbie and and most definately an alcoholic. What a topic!!!! It is hard to have a positive attitude at all times (especially when things in life just seem to be as tough as ever). It is important for me to try to see the light at the end of the tunnel because too much gloom leads me into big trouble. While I try to remain on the positive side of life, there are those times (like now) that I have to ask God for help because I just can't get past a particular hard spot. That is the positive part of this program for me now, the ability to be humble enough to ask for God's help during tough and confusing times. I know that "God answers all prayers," I just need to be more open to listening to the answers and having the courage to follow His will.....So, for now I have a very positive attitude because I am sure God will give me the right answer and will reveal to me the lessons to be learned from this struggle. Thanks for letting me share and for today I remain positive and always a very grateful recovering alcoholic.


Member: Joani R
Location: Denver, CO
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 21:09:39

Comments

My name is Joani and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I want to thank everyone for their comments. It's suprisingly powerful to read them-I wasn't expecting that. To Mandy B.-It's great that you are sticking with sobriety at 20. I know how difficult it is. The 1st time I got sober I was 19, and stayed clean for 2 years but couldn't accept that it could get me so young...so..10 years of more drinking and wasted time and consequences, I just got out of treatment again last week. I'll keep you in my prayers. On the topic, I have been having a difficult time with my attitude and keeping it positive. I have so much to be grateful for. I guess it's just the adjustment of leaving the cocoon of treatment and accepting that just because I am sober and have changed, the world around me hasn't; it's up to me to have the attitude of gratitude and to find peace, serenity and patience by trusting God,and with fellowship with others in recovery. Thanks for letting me ramble. I'm going to do like Bonnie, and go read page 449-452 and the Promises (83&84). Thanks


Member: Mike S
Location: Seattle
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 22:10:59

Comments

Hi there. Mike, Alcoholic. Positive and Negative thinking. During these last 171 days of sobriety, I found that the only times that I got (or get) twisted up is when I try to put a value judgement on people, places, or things including my own feelings or thoughts. Part of my recovery required me to admit that I was powerless over alcohol (a negative) before I could even start the recovery (a positive). I was among those that went voluntarily to a treatment center. More correctly a mis-treatment center. In group, I had to learn to tolerate (positive) barrages of verbal spit-balls (negative)launched by a flotilla of airhead bimbos. (critical) Knowing that is critical is positive. My notes during phase 2 include this little tid-bit: "What flaw in my character would allow my peace to be disturbed in any way by the flirtatious prattle of a semi-literate slattern." (very negative) The answer to the question is odvious to me from the question it self. (positive) More recent thought include: "Why is it that when I sought wisdom, I stumbled badly and became a drunk? If a haughty look goes before a fall and pride before destruction, humility goes before exaltation. Does shame come before honor? No, humility does. I have seen my loneliness, (negative) when accepted without judgement or complaint (positive) blossom into fellowship in my local AA groups. Rain comes before flowers, indulgence before want, frugality before plenty. We had to admit absolute failure (negative) over our addictions before we could begin recovery (positive). If rejection comes before acceptance, fear of rejection means that we can never be accepted." Just a thought. drinking before we could begin accepted without


Member: mary d.
Location: seattle
Date: 01 Dec 1998
Time: 22:30:30

Comments

Hi all, I'm a garden variety alkie named Mary. Really enjoyed all the comments. Just want to add as Bonnie and some others have shared - read not only page 449, but the pages immediately following it. Dr. Paul gives a great story of changing an attitude about one's spouse from negative to positive. Another book I love is "A New Pair of Glasses" by Chuck C. If you can't find it in your local 12 step store, I had to wade past numerous on-line book stores tonight just to log in here. One of them is sure to have it. Mild resentment rearing it's ugly little head here - I don't like the commercials that seem to be exploding on-line ...at least not on my treasured pages of sober living. Glad I tuned in tonight - my attitude needed a lift, and I had to open the big book to make sure my comments about the story were correct - and now that it's open, I think I'll reread the whole story of the doctor,alcoholic addict. It was my privilege in early sobriety to atted meetings with the wonderful author of htat story. I owe him big time for letting me know I could be an "alcoholic of sorts" (pg 449 at the top) Thanks all of you for being here for me.


Member: Dave
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 01:20:31

Comments

Hi, everybody, my name's Dave and I'm and alcoholic. Grateful to be here sober tonight by the grace of God. I've got my hands full with a new sponsee right now, and he's really helping me (!). Mostly, I find the thing that can restore my faith is helping another alcoholic. Remember, no matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That's the twelfth step, right there. And it's the one step anyone who walks into a meeting takes right away. Merely by being present, even a loud, obnoxious drunken alcoholic is helping the rest of us stay sober. Shh, nobody tell him he's working the steps! Goodnight, y'all.


Member: BJ McCall
Location: Miami, Florida
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 05:56:03

Comments

Hi! I'm B.J., an alcoholic (real one) and so grateful that my Thanksgiving turned out to be GREAT! I think it's cause I gave it to God. Before it got here, it seemed everyone was making plans with friends/family, but me. I offered to cook turkey n' trimmings for someone, but got a turndown; had rec'd no word from my family, so that was out; so instead of being negative and giving up, I asked God to handle it; and, as only HP can do it was far better than I could have planned; my daughter decided to bring my grandson and meet me up the road here in Fla. for a T'giving Eve Dinner.....it lasted for hours, and I do believe that car drove itself back to Miami, cause I was so happy and full of gratitude that I was soaring! I THINK this is called turning a negative beginning into a positive ending; isn't it always true when we give our Will/Life over to God? Right!

So I think I'll just let Him take care of the rest of the holidays coming up; and I'm outta here......


Member: Mike B.
Location: Irving, TX
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 08:22:00

Comments

Hi Group: My name is Mike and I'm a very grateful alcoholic in Texas. On this topic, here's something I found a while back, and like it: ATTITUDE

The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life.

Attitude to me is more important than facts. It is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than failures, than successes, than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill. It will make or break a company...a church...a home. The remarkable thing is you have a choice every day regarding the attitude you will embrace for that day. We cannot change our past...we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude. I am convinced that life is ten percent what happens to me and ninety percent how I react to it. And so it is with you. You are in charge of your attitude.

- Charles R. Swindoll

Enjoy today - it's a gift!


Member: Jeff H.
Location: Maryland
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 11:05:00

Comments

Hi all,

My name's Jeff and I'm an alcoholic and addict. I have been clean for over 2 months, and it has been great! Even in the tough parts, I see that when I pick up the big book or go to a meeting, my spirits change for the better. : ) This is my first time checking this stuff out on the Internet, and it's really neat. I'm on the Internet all the time, and it's usually wasting time. This is certainly a more productive way to spend my time. I'm glad you're all here!

Take it easy,

Jeff


Member: Marie  T.
Location: Memphis Tn.
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 11:30:37

Comments

Hi my name is Marie, I'm a alcoholic. One way to keep a positive attitude is by saying nothing unless I have something good to say!


Member: Paul M.
Location: NJ
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 17:19:39

Comments

Hi, I'm Paul an alcoholic, greatful to be here tonight and sober by the power of god. One of the great gifts my sobriety has given me is the knowledge that I can change my attitude, that bad days and moods pass and that no one is powerful enough to make me happy or sad unless I let them. I focus upon improving myself and that leaves me little time to criticise or to develop attitudes about others. I have learned to be accepting of what happens, to clearly see what I can and cannot control and to understand that God is unfolding my life in the most appropriate manner. When I want things to go my way, I try to remember that no amount of toil or effort on my part will get me to where I am to be until God deems it so.


Member: Kathy F
Location: Carlisle,IA
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 17:39:03

Comments

Hi my name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict. I know I already posted but I just read what MANDY had to say and I just wanted to tell that I know what she's going through. I sobered up when I was 18 and just heading into college. I'm now 26 with 7 years in. I attend a meeting where the next youngest is 38 and the rest are even older, but they have a lot of clean time and are a lot of help. Sometime the older the wiser. If you need someone closer to your experiences and want to chat feel free to email me at.... garandkath@aol.com

Love and peace, Kathy F


Member: Deb K.
Location: South Dakota
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 18:42:09

Comments

Hello, fellow alkies. My name is Deb and I am an alcoholic.

Good topic Tony!!! My attitude hasn't been the best lately.....to be honest.......my attitude really sucked.

Nobody is at fault......Just me.....happens when I get on the pitty pot......and don't do the things I am susposed to do. When I get complacent in my recovery it happens.....sooooo.....I need to change that.

Pg 449, the promises, working the steps, talking to others, going to a meeting, helping others, etc.....these are the things I need to do to change me and my attitude. Then.... and only then... do I find peace and have some serenity.

I am grateful for recovery and for all of you who have taken the time to share. God bless all of you.

Happy Birthday to Max......7 years (clap clap clap).

In Recovery Deb K.


Member: wendy b
Location:
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 22:36:05

Comments

hi wendy alcoholic boy great topic I just found this meeting & I have really enjoyed reading what others have to say. Staying positive right now is hard, going through divorce and the holidays upon us & 3 kids to raise on my own but I am doing it and I am doing sober & will continue as long as remember to take it one day at a time. Luv you all & may God keep each and everyone of us sober another 24 hours. god bless, Wendy


Member: wendy b
Location: ontario
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 22:36:26

Comments

hi wendy alcoholic boy great topic I just found this meeting & I have really enjoyed reading what others have to say. Staying positive right now is hard, going through divorce and the holidays upon us & 3 kids to raise on my own but I am doing it and I am doing sober & will continue as long as remember to take it one day at a time. Luv you all & may God keep each and everyone of us sober another 24 hours. god bless, Wendy


Member: wendy b
Location: ontario
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 22:36:48

Comments

hi wendy alcoholic boy great topic I just found this meeting & I have really enjoyed reading what others have to say. Staying positive right now is hard, going through divorce and the holidays upon us & 3 kids to raise on my own but I am doing it and I am doing sober & will continue as long as remember to take it one day at a time. Luv you all & may God keep each and everyone of us sober another 24 hours. god bless, Wendy


Member: doug.
Location:
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 22:59:19

Comments

My name is Doug I'm an alcoholic. By the grace of God, and the 12 Steps I haven't had a drink today. For me its hard to be grateful when I'm hateful. Sometimes its hard to keep a positive attitude, my head starts with the stinkin thinkin and I got to talk to somebody, or pick up the Big Book. The program really works, if I work it. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Bovard, Pa
Date: 02 Dec 1998
Time: 23:06:03

Comments

Hi My name is bruce A. and I am an alcoholic Thanks for the topic Tony. I,ve read a book the Power of Positive thinking by Norman Vincent Peale. He gives a lot of suggestion on how to turn the negative into positive. One suggestion I use daily is to repeat 10 times " I believe , If god is for us who can be against us and I can do all things through christ which strengthens me. also keeping an attitude of gratitude and counting are blessings help. stay in the Positive Tony. Love Ya All Appollo


Member: Karen C
Location: CA
Date: 03 Dec 1998
Time: 01:55:52

Comments

Wow So much good reading. I haven't checked in, in a few days due to 12 hr, shifts, but it was a delight to read all this positive power tonight. And to MIKE B wow that was great, and I do believe that this program has changed my attitude, and my life is becomming really happy. @0 days sober today, can't believe it and here I am reading, thinking and ejoying life after a long day at work - nice all this extra energy I've found since I've lost the brew. Thankyou all, we need each pther to keep it positive.


Member: Robert  J.
Location: Oakland, Ca
Date: 03 Dec 1998
Time: 04:20:59

Comments

I'm an Alcholic, my name Is Robert J. 12-1-91. This is great, I'm new to this meeting. My home group's are the Stonestown Group of San Francisco Ca, Solutions Group of Honilulu, Hawaii, Easy Does It Group of Mesa, Arizona. I just gotta say great topic Tony, great things that I read. One way I stay positive is to stay out of my Higher Power's way, and do my service commitment's. My main group's are in San Francisco, Ca. This is where I got sober. I just celibrated my 7yrs. monday by speaking at my first Home Group Tuesday Downtown, that's part of how I stay positive like I said service & stay out of the way. Remember our sobrity is God's gift to us, What we do with it our gift to God. Love You All Robert J.


Member: Colin C
Location: Australia
Date: 03 Dec 1998
Time: 05:33:01

Comments

God Grant me the serenity to accept that my 'puter hung while I was trying to copy/paste some stuff I like lots!

Hello group - Colin, alcoholic. Sober today thanks to the fellowship of AA and My HP!

One of the many threats to my sobriety is my marriage - my wife rang the other day and (the context doesn't matter) My HEAD said OhMyGod, she's coming back!! AND I PICKED UP!! Lost 3 months of sobriety! - I think it was well said before - "I found that the only times that I get twisted up is when I try to put a value judgement on people, places, or things including my own feelings or thoughts". I forgot to KEEP IT SIMPLE - AND - LET GO, LET GOD. All I had to do was drop to my knees and say, God, I hand this over to you! I find my HP, sponsor, the program, Meetings, Meetings, Meetings, openness and acceptance help me heaps. Today, happily I'm 20 days sober again, and God willing, will stay that way. Page 449, what a blast, opened my big book and found I'd highlighted the WHOLE page - and how true every word is.

I use the Serenity prayer a lot, in many ways, even to simpify asking for God, Serenity, Courage and Wisdom - In everything!

Thankyou AA - Thank you Bill W


Member: Graeme M
Location: Western Australia
Date: 03 Dec 1998
Time: 14:10:18

Comments

Hi, I'm Graeme and I'm a common garden variety of alcoholic.A dying breed they say. But the dying can be delayed by AA and you people.I might even know its happening with a bit of luck. Blimey, I don't mean to be morbid. But everytime I hear of one of us dying sober I rejoice in the absolute victory over alcohol.As a parting shot, we in AA in WA do not say "take it easy", cos it ain't easy. We say "easy does it, but do it". So there. Hang in there people.


Member: George m.
Location: Boston
Date: 03 Dec 1998
Time: 15:34:41

Comments

Hi,My name is George and I'm an alcoholic.

Just wanted to thank everyone for their posts because the last few days were kind of tuff.But working the program got me though.All I could do was sit here and read your posts.Normally I'm a very up beat person but for some reason the last few days I was dog meat.But it's getting better I can feel it in my bones.And I'm greatful to have had a place like this to go to instead of sitting in my own stuff.I'm ten years sober and this program has NEVER failed to help me.(in good times and bad!)Thanks and a (((((HUG)))))George M.

P.S.saw that there was another George M.From the Phillapines(spelling is not my strong point)Welcome!


Member: Karen C
Location: CA
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 00:05:48

Comments

Hey Friends Day 21, It feels so good. As I was running today, looking at all the autumn colors, listening to the birds sing, and deep in prayful thought to my HP, I could not help but smile and feel the power of it all. I'm kind of remote in location so I really feed off of this site. Thanks friends for all your positive support.


Member: David R
Location: Canada
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 05:37:18

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is David and I am an alcoholic. Just found this group as I'm new to the internet. I can stay positive by working with new people as I've been able to do all week. HP put a real wet one in my care. Knowing how he feels (with the heebee jeebee's and all), and knowing I felt the same way once, then sharing what I have found in this wonderful fellowship can do nothing but keep me positive. Life today is a blessing! David


Member: Jane B
Location: Washington CD
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 09:13:43

Comments

Hi family my name is Jane and I am an alcoholic I want to say thanks to Bonnie about how she reading pages 60-63, 83&84, and 449-452 in the Big Book every day. What a great idea so I am going to give it a try. I was not doing well last night and that reading put me where I needed to be. I just found this meeting and and it looks great so thanks and with that I will keep coming back.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Colorado
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 11:33:42

Comments

Thanks Bonnie C. I'm Chris, totally alcoholic. I really got a lot from your comments " I God Box everything/body that gives me a moment of concern and today I trust that He will take care of IT/THEM and put them exactly where they belong," and "we are only as sick as our secrets." You've obviously been around awhile, and have worked your program like your life depended on it. I really needed to hear this stuff, you pegged my situation completely. I am dealing with concern stuff, and have been praying for it to go away. I think that has been the wrong prayer. I normally pray for GODs will, since mine seems to get me into trouble. I guess my anxiety has been so high that I just wanted freedom. Geez, trying to pray like I used to drink. Ouch! Hard to read my own words. Right now I am having to face my character defects in an intimate area of my life, and this is very uncomfortable. I have become accustom to just blowing off my feelings, but now, that isn't an option. Well, I keep coming back. God has saved my life so far when I have prayed for his will, and I must do this again to keep sober. Keeping a positive attitude is where I'm at, today. However, a PMA comes as a result of the proper focus, and that comes from a higher power. My unaided will doesn't afford me the luxury of just willing happiness, peace, and serenity. These come when I do the steps, listen to others in the program, and face things squarely. I am glad this program is simple, because at times like this, simple is about all I can grasp. I am dealing with tough emotional stuff, and could really use some input, some feedback. Suggestions?


Member: Rod E.
Location: Florida
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 13:07:22

Comments

My name is Rod and I am an alcoholic. I'm struggling with self-pity and a negative attitude myself. However, by working with my sponsor I've determined that it is being created by my own selfishness, intolerance, and resentments. I'm finally accepting some truth about myself and it hurts. I'm praying for God's guideance to direct my thinking and taking another look at my fourth step. I beleive that what I'm feeling is preparing me to become humble enough to make some ammends. Of course my thinking changes regularly, but those are my thoughts on the topic today.


Member: Shelley M.
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 13:28:21

Comments

Hello, new family. My name is Shelley and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time at an online meeting. So please bear with me.Thanks Tony, for the topic of POSITIVE ATTITUDE. It is a sure bet that when I don't get to enough F2F meetings, my attitude starts slipping. Where I first got sober this time, I heard someone say "The more you appreciate what you have (serenity, spirituality, sobriety, etc.), the more and more it becomes and the less you appreciate what you have the less and less becomes." I have certainly been guilty of that this week. I even got some of that rebellion that the 11th step talks about in the 12 & 12. I am feeling better today and I have not been on the pity-pot today. I have been pretty hard on myself and have paid physically,mentally,and spiritually. I am so glad that I can use whatever tools seem to be handy to stay sober and get back on the beam. My family and I just moved to a new area and this week I found it hard to get to F2F meetings. However, my new sponsor said to read a story in the Big Book and write a gratitude list. Thank you for letting me share. (((Group)))


Member: Kristi C
Location: Glendale, AZ
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 15:01:02

Comments

Hi all, Kristi Alcoholic. I haven't visited this site in a long while and I know there are no coinsidences so when the topic of ATTITUDE was in my face I realized I was meant to be here.

I'm feeling somewhat ashamed of my poor attitude at this moment. It's been a tough week and when I'm getting red in the face, God usually shows me where I need to be if I can just turn it over. I know when this behaviour is rearing it's ugly head I haven't been practicing humility and gratitude. I guess updating that gratitude list is in order.

The other thing I tend to do is search for the source of my poor attitude and thanks DEB R from KANSAS for writing: "... discovered that finding the true source of the "bad attitude" can be elusive". I have to give up the search and quit peeling the onion. No matter what the source, it's letting go that puts things back in a positive perspective...for me anyway.

I know that all my problems today are usually fear based (if not true physical ailment) and there are tools that help me release the fear and find serenity. Thank you for your shares. This poor alkie need it most this very day!


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 15:02:51

Comments

Greetings to my Friends on Staying Cyber's discussion meeting and this weeks topic is a real good one. Thank you Tony! My name is Tom A. an alcoholic, who is sober today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and a wonderful fellowship known as Alcoholic's Anonymous. As a youngster I remember Bing Crosby and others singing a song titled "Accentuate the Postive." One of the verses told us to "accentuate the postive eliminate the negative and don't mess with mister in-between." I want to say that until I hooked up with AA I had little success in achieving that goal, but can truthfully say that I try to practice being postive while accepting the truth of the negative in my life. Isn't it interesting that the Higher Power saw fit to bring two negative alcholics together back there in Akron, Ohio and proclaimed the truth that two negatives equal a postive known as Alcoholics Anonymous. When I joined AA, it was suggested that I read one of those non-conference approved books known as the "Power of Positive Thinking" by Norman Vicent Peale. For what it is worth, I highly recommend it.

Thank you group for all the comments, even the nagative ones, because I learned in AA that I don't have any BAD DAYS, some are just better than others.

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Bob C
Location: north Alabama
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 18:30:59

Comments

Good evening, gang. My name is Bob and I'm a dirt road drunk. Woke up this afternoon (shift work) in a bad mood with a headache. All I know to do about that is keep my mouth shut knowing this will pass. God gave us this program to work one day at a time so I turned it over to Him, just for today. It'll work if I let it.


Member: Jeff
Location: The First State
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 23:05:54

Comments

Where do I want to go with this,,, I'm Jeff , an Alcoholic. Lately, I have been feeling alone,, working the program, going to meetings, but also feeling ALONE. Alone because I feel like I dont fit in,, I dont like to speak at meetings,, really dont have anything to share. No one speaks to me at Meeting,, I try, but they just seem to talk amoung themselfs. I love the program, it has kept me sober since last March, but wish I just fit in better,,, is something missing???


Member: Patrish
Location: Beantown
Date: 04 Dec 1998
Time: 23:51:48

Comments

Thank you for topic, a real good one.

Jeff, please find someone to talk to. Lots and lots of people drink because hey are lonely and feel like they dont fit in. Find someone. Your sponsor maybe? Maybe a newcomer? When all else fails, I find by talking to myself and my higher power works.

Coming up on 11 years. I get real lonely around this time of year. Probably why I hit my bottom around the holidays.

Keeping positive and keeping it in one day keeps me sober.

I stay away from negative people. Negative people do not have a place in my life anymore. They are usually on a mission to bring everyone else down with them. Gave them up al long time ago.

Stay positive. Things will get better, I promise. The promises. Read the promises. They are wonderful. They come true if you stay positive.

Thank you AA and all.

Coming up on


Member: mark h.
Location: bismarck,n.d.
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 00:17:24

Comments

Hi, i am mark, and i am a grateful recovering alcoholic. if i stick with positive folks who work a decent program, i stay positive. I think we are like chameleons in this respect. that is also why having a stable sponsor is so important to me. whaen i drift away from these things i get real negative real fast. i enjoyed reading all the entries above. people like you and meetings like this fueled by the grace of a kind and loving God i have found in a.a. have kept me sober for another day (and a pretty darn good day at that).


Member: Evan
Location: CA
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 03:05:31

Comments

I'm Evan, and I'm an alcoholic. Thanks to Eddie for checking in. I love this topic. I loved blacking-out, 'cause I can't stop my thoughts from running to panic. My head is just wired up for a 'mayday'. My obsession of the mind. Today, thanks to you people, I tell my higher power about all my crises right away. Then God starts to chuckle. God hugs me, and really starts to laughing. It seems that my higher power finds it hilarious that I would consider myself the center of a universe with any control of results. This usually gets me jump-started into some action. By the time I show up to do something, it's already taken care of. My quickest, longest, and most perfect high today, is to do something for another human being. Thanks so much for the love.


Member: Susan C.
Location: Dierks Ar.
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 08:33:09

Comments

Hi! I'm Susan and I'm an alcoholic. JEFF find someone to talk to and do it fast. Remenber an alcoholic alone is in bad company. Tony your topic is wonderful.I just celebrated 6 months (clean and sober).I want to thank Bonnie C. for your comments they help me alot. wish all you a safe, happy and SOBER holidays!!


Member: Kevin B
Location: Minneapolis
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 10:33:06

Comments

Hi everybody, Kevin, Alcoholic, Addict. Thanks for the discussion. I've been sober 34 days by the Grace of God. I feel the positive topic relates directly to gratitude and how grateful I am to be alive and sober today. I live in Minneapolis and go to meetings downtown at a coffee shop named "Jitters". The daily meetings have kept me sober. Another reason I'm grateful is that during the past week, there have been 2 accidents within just a couple of blocks of our meetings on the Nicollet Mall. One was a construction site where 2 men were killed in a crane accident, and another happened last night where a police detox van which was picking up a couple of drunks suddenly went out of control and rammed into a crowd of people waiting for a holiday parade to start. A woman and child were killed and 10 others were injured. I feel sad about these incidents, but in a way I'm glad I feel anything at all, because if I were still using, I really wouldn't have cared at all. I'm grateful to be sober on Saturday, December fifth, 1998.


Member: Ted B.
Location: Montreal
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 11:07:44

Comments

Hi, I'm Ted and I'm an alcoholic. JEFF, I used to feel the same lonliness at meetings, only in my case it was because I felt superior. You see, I was only "moderately" alcoholic and so I had nothing in common with the "hardcore" alkies who needed God and the 12 steps. That crock of cow patties took me right back to the business end of the bottle. When I came back in and got a SPONSOR, joined a HOME GROUP and got ACTIVE in the program, I began to feel like I belonged, and that's made a huge difference in the quality of my sobrierty.


Member: Anne G.
Location: Wichita Falls, TX
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 11:21:49

Comments

Hi all....I'm Anne and I'm an alcoholic. I'm too new at this program to really have anything to share, but being Positive, even if it's only about small things, is so important to recovery. If we allow ourselves to wallow in negativity, we will be sitting on our favorite barstool before we know how we got there. Sometimes, for me anyway, I have to literally stop and count my blessings, no matter how small, to get me through a moment or a day when I feel like screaming at the world. Today is my 40th birthday and I made the mistake of thinking negatively yesterday, even shed a tear or two. I had to take a deep breath and stop and think NOT of what I haven't accomplished yet that i had planned on, but what i HAD accomplished. Hell, i reached 40...that in itself is a great feat considering how many times I could have killed myself or someone else driving home from my favorite bar stool.

A private note to Jeff....I'm sorry that the meetings you attend are not making you feel like part of a family. Are there other meetings you can attend that are in the same area? I'm from a relatively small town, but we have 5 different meeting areas that we can attend to find a home group that makes you feel comfortable. Also, i have found that involving myself with my home group makes me feel more comfortable with them and myself. Sometimes we have to give of ourselves first, so others are comfortable with us. Just a thought...keep your chin up. :)


Member: Frank C.
Location: Yreka, CA
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 20:24:51

Comments

Hi everyone this is a story about me that I just wrote for a different program but as I am an alcoholic I think it might be appropriate here also....My D-Day is 11/5/89 Change In Al-Anon by Frank C.

Hi Friends: I woke up this morning and as I lay in bed the most profound ideas and concepts about our recovery came to me. Yes, I've known of this for several years but this time it appeared to me in Al-Anon language so-to-speak! I mean that I was thinking Al-Anon at the time. Ha... I started thinking about myself and as a Leo and about not letting myself go downhill into negative thinking and actions like some people with other zodiac signs have - I was thinking some pretty crazy stuff. I was looking at others and what I perceive to be their downfall and all that petty, selfish, self-centered thinking. Have you ever done that? Ha, if your in Al-Anon I'll bet that you have! Anyway then I started thinking about the program of Al-Anon and what has really happened to me. What has happened to me is this: I've changed my actions and, as a result of changing those actions, my thinking changed. Now, this is an old concept in Alcoholics Anonymous. Most old timers there will tell anyone that this is necessary for recovery. In psychology the books will tell you that if you start to act happy that soon you will be happy, even tho most therapists try to change your thinking to change your actions, which doesn't work. Well what about in Al-Anon? Is Al-Anon recovery different in this respect? I think that to perceive the needed change is MUCH harder, but I do think that the need to change our actions to change our thinking is the same as in AA. Many years ago before I drank alcoholically (I started drinking at around age 30) I was on the outside a very nice person. I didn't cheat, I didn't steal, I didn't lie in the ordinary sense and I didn't run around hurting people. I smiled a lot and seemed happy. I'm sure that everybody that knew me liked me, and as I was a worker, most respected me. At the same time I was a very, very sick person inside and I didn't like myself at all. I had no respect for me My life was a mixture of conflicting emotions and attitudes. I was caught between wanting to have what other people seemed to have and my base nature of being human. In other words I wanted what inside I felt guilty about thinking about. Now some of the many things I seemed to want were not harmful and were perfectly alright but many were a sign of my sickness. I never talked about these to anyone. When the time came that I started drinking I started acting this sick thinking out. I had sex with many women and felt guilty about it. I wanted lots of things in the world and didn't want to have to earn them. I didn't know how to earn things like self-respect or love even tho I wanted them very much. My thinking became even sicker and I thought of sex or/and money as a way to accomplish them. My drinking started as a way to meet girls and act out those fantasies of my younger non-drinking days and it worked. Eventually , for me, the alcohol took over and I became an alcoholic. When I first came to AA I started, at the very first, to change my behavior. This change was to not drink and to not go to bars. That is all the change I had for a long while. I came into Al-Anon on October 29, 1990. For the wrong reason of course - for someone else. What other reason would any of us come to Al-Anon? Ha. Anyway I stayed and kept coming back. I went to the Monday Night meeting in Yreka for several years and also the Hornbrook Hope meeting and helped start the Montague Friday night Friends meeting. Lately I helped start the Wednesday meeting in Yreka. What has this to do with Al-Anon and change? Well I started doing something in the program. I started doing things that are suggested in our Al-Anon program. I started working the Steps and attempting to understand the Traditions of Al-Anon. Step 1 took me a long time to do. I couldn't comprehend myself as an alcoholic and I did manage my own life (I thought). When I could begin to understand my part, as an alcoholic / member of an alcoholic family, my thinking started to change. As my thinking started to change, as a result of action in the program, I started doing Step 2 and Step 3. I started acting as if God was there (I did know that there was a God thru spiritual experience to that effect) even tho I knew nothing about God. I tried to let Him handle life's problems for me. My thinking changed and it started working. Step 4, tho done imperfectly, began and in Step 5, I told all to God and a friend I used as a sponsor (that is action folks). I immediately took Sept 6 & 7 to the best of my ability and then started 8 & 9, all of which are continuing today via Step 10 (as inventory, defects and needed amends come to the surface, from the past and new ones happen [God I hate those!]). I very superficially did Step 11 and that Step is a daily process for me. Step 12 is the Step that is, in order to suit action to words, very important to my recovery. I must try to carry the message of hopethrough Al-Anon to others and use the principals I've learned in my everyday life. These Steps all started as action, as a result of this program, and turned into a change in attitude and thinking. When I thought only of myself and what was in life for me only, I was a very miserable human being. Al-Anon has changed all that. I now like myself even if I feel lonely. I like myself even if I owe money. I like living even if I have life problems. I used to want to die and now I want to live. The change has been enormous in me and I'm sure that as long as I'm in Al-Anon it will continue - as long as I'm willing to do more than just talk about doing some action. I'm no longer the person that looked good on the outside but was rotten to the core inside. I may not look so good on the outside now, but I like what I see inside - even if you don't see it. I like myself now - what a change in myself since I first stepped into Al-Anon. I wish you all a very WONDERFUL Christmas and may the New Year of 1999 be the best ever for you in YOUR recovery in Al-Anon.


Member: Marilyn v
Location: Michigan
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 20:26:31

Comments

my name is Marilyn and I am an alcoholic. Greatful for finding this AA meeting online. being positive and grateful is very important for us in recovery. I have been going through seasonal depression and I know God is keeping me safe and sober. This too shall pass. Thanks for being there and sharing with me..


Member: Craig
Location: Portland,OR
Date: 05 Dec 1998
Time: 22:28:44

Comments

Hi, My name is Craig and I'm an Alcoholic! My thoughts on positive and negative feelings are, when I think positive I feel good inside and I don't have that big empty hole feeling in my gut. When I do start to think negative thoughts then I have negative feelings. Theses thoughts are usually about tommorow or yesterday, which means I'm not living in today. So, I try to not let the thieves of yesterday and tommorow steal my today with negative thoughts. Thanks for letting me share. Keep comming back it works. Craig