Member: JANICE
Location: CA.
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 11:29:57 AM
Member: Les M.
Location: San Diego
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 11:40:59 AM
One of the things that is a constant amazment to me is how much my life has changed since becoming sober.
Member: MO
Location: IRELAND
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 11:58:27 AM
HI, MO HERE, ALKIE WHO JUST CAN'T STAY SOBER,I,VE TRIED EVERYTHING BUT CAN'T STOP . AA WORKS FOR A WHILE BUT I ALWAYS SEEM TO END UP DRINKING AGAIN,I'M GETTING TO THE POINT WHERE I DON'T THINK I WILL EVER BE ABLE TO STOP,HAS ANY BODY ELSE BEEN AT THIS POINT AND STOPPED IF SO TELL ME HOW!!!
Member: Les M.
Location: San Diego
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 12:31:47 PM
((Mo)) in Ireland, if you go to the address; http://stayingcyber.org/rooms/coffeepot/coffeepot.asp, you will find all the online help you need and a whole lot more, prabably way to much. You also need face to face meetings CALL YOUR LOCAL AA OFFICE, and tell them what you just wrote.
Good luck and hang in there.
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 12:41:52 PM
I am Ed an alcoholic, My life as change in ways that I thought was not possible, I have learned that there is more to life then the inside of a bar. I feel more at peace with myself with each passing day. But I have to keep going to meetings and read the big book , and turn to my higher powder each morning and evening. Just keep taking one step at and time.
Member: Mary Allen
Location: Austin,MN
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 5:48:23 PM
How my life has changed since I became sober -- in to many ways to count. I now have friends who really care about me and are there when things are not going good instead of people that only wanted to be around during the good times. People that I am able to count on and know they will be there for me. I was graced with a daughter who, H.P. willing, will never have to experience a drunk mother and who if she needs help later she will know where to go. Going to meetings is a pleasure for me, most of the time. It is my committement to go to meetings so there will be a meeting for the person just coming in as there was for me when I arrived The biggest change is being able to face myself in the mirror and not Hate the person looking back.
Member: scottb.
Location: indiana
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 5:52:52 PM
(mo)youneedtogettoalivemeetingfacetofacestayingsoberisalotofworkbutyoucangettherig
httoolsatameeting.trytofindoneinyourareaandgoodluckkeeptryingeventuallyyoullgainthed
esiretostaystopped.
Member: Martha W
Location: MA
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 5:53:22 PM
Hi everyone...My name is Martha and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time in this forum. I have been sober for 12 years. I was thinking the other day how much my life has changed and I want to give back to the AA community. Suggestions?
Member: Katem
Location: USa
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 6:53:14 PM
I have become an alcoholic because my husband is a big time drunk, I can go without it except I need it to be with him. I love him when he is sober and hate him when he is drunk. we don't have a very happy life. Need some advice and support. I have left him many times.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 7:03:41 PM
Martha, go to the Coffee Pot site to discuss topics other than the first posted here by Les. You'll get lotsa suggestions. As has already been said: "my life has changed in so many more ways than I ever could have imagined." I have balance, guidance, direction, interests that enrich my life, a rewarding job, financial responsibility and stability, plans for the future and my retirement, good health (mental, physical and spiritual), shared love with family and friends, opportunities to give back what has been given me...and so much more. This site is also something very important that I would have never had any interest in had it not been for you: "The Fellowship of AA". Thanks for that. Bob Don't count the days, make the days count.
Member: BSB
Location: Atlanta
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 7:07:02 PM
I didn't get in trouble every time I went out drinking, but..... Every time I got in trouble, I was drinking. I just said.. no more.
Member: Susan M.
Location: Linden, N.J.
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 8:20:15 PM
My life didn't get better just by abstaining from drinking a day at a time,(it's been 13 yrs. now)it takes constant viligence in working the steps into my life daily.This is where my change took place. I learned all about me: good, bad, and ugly. And I became willing to move as far away from that person that walked into A.A. 13 yrs.ago.I made up my mind like it says in the Big Book whether I was gonna be in this for the long haul or not. I opted to stay, but I only manage to by having a daily repreive based on my spiritual condition each day.I can so easily lose what took me so much to gain if I let my- self get complacent.
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 9:06:37 PM
Lessa E here, very grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for a good topic, Les. And it's interesting because this is my 3rd trip through sobriety. The first time, I did it with a kinder, gentler program. And, of course, went back out there after 5 years. The second time, I went to AA. But, I also used myself as an HP. And I went back out after 2.5 years.
The first two times through sobriety, my life got so very much better than when I was drinking. I lost 70 pounds, I got promotions and then a new, well-paid position. I hoped this third through recovery, life would get better, as it had the first two times.
How did my life change when I got sober this time? Well, staying away from booze was hell. I white-knuckled my first 8 months. I received some badly needed lessons in humility. And then I got a few more. And, to make sure I remembered them, I got some more. It made me NEED to go to meetings...if only to vent. And I started to absorb what folks told me. I listened more. The program started to make sense.
And then, when the program finally started to make sense, I lost my job in a mass layoff. And a few other minor disasters happend. How has my life changed? Well, I haven't thought of picking up a drink for over 9 months now. I've had peace of mind I haven't had since I was a kid. I have an HP I call God who is there to call on when I need to (and I need to often.) Since I've had to ask for help, I now have real friends now who care. Perhaps best of all, I have peace of mind and a life where fear doesn't rule. I KNOW that if I keep my side of the street clean, all will well.
My life has changed in every way I never could have imagined. And I am so very grateful I got another chance to come back here. For the folks who are still struggling, it works if you want it and work the program.
Thanks for letting me share....
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 11:11:36 PM
Hi! My name is Michael and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares! Welcome newcomers!
My life has changed in so many ways that even I can't be aware of them all. Most obviously, of course, I have been living sober for quite a few years now, and that alone accounts for numerous and major behavioral and attitude changes.
Equally important to me, I have become intimately acquainted with the reality of the spiritual world or the "fourth dimension," as the Big Book says. I have been reborn. Thank you God!
Member: Gage
Location: Louisiana
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 2:59:26 AM
When I came to AA, I thought that I was going to die very soon. I wanted to stop drinking because I didn't want my son to have to live with the legacy of a drunk for a father. That was the extent of my hopes for the future but you people wouldn't let me get away with that. I'm so glad. I came filled with fear and anger, false pride, egotism, and cowardice. I was cynical so I will understand anyone's cynicism when I say that I've changed some in the past eight months. What's most amazing to me is how seemingly small some of the things have been that have helped the change to come about. I couldn't list them all here, but I'll mention two. The first is that early on I began washing the coffee pots and picking up after meetings. No one suggested it, it just came to me to do that. I still do it and the way that it's helped I haven't the words to say. But I would fight you to get to those pots. A second thing that happened was in the first month when I was still very shakey. I had an awful experience when I was asked to read something aloud in a meeting. I tried but I couldn't do it. I almost didn't go back, but I decided instead to go and make myself say something, anything, in that meeting. I said "I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. I'm glad to be here tonight." I'd love to tell you an angel perched on my shoulders after that, but it's not true. But I felt a little different. And it probably wasn't that evening, but within a few days of that I found myself laughing in a meeting one night. What a blessed bit of freedom that is! There've been big things as well -- the steps. I wanted to share these little things though because I want Mo and anyone else to know how little it can cost to start. Some folks will tell you that it's all self-delusion, but what the hell does that mean to a man who came here to die? I'm not well, but I'm hopeful and have moments of peace and even joy. And I haven't wanted a drink for many, many days now. Thanks!
Member: Mark B
Location: Southwest Asia
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 5:20:00 AM
Mark, alcoholic When I was drinking and doping, my whole life revolved around booze, drugs, and the lifestyle. I couldn't and wouldn't do anything without them. I couldn't imagine living life without them and when I got sober, I thought my life had ended. It did. I was blessed with a life when I got sober. I do thinks today routinely, that I used to dream about from a bar stool. I no longer am a legend in my own mind, I get out and live life today, willing to look like an idiot, willing to try anything, to just show up and allow God to work his miracles in my life. I got sober, and I got a life. Another one of the paradoxes in sobriety. It ain't always what it seems, especially to a diseased and warped mind. I'm a functioning member of society today, no a bystander sitting in a dark bar dreaming out loud about the things I'm doing today. When I got sober, they didn't tell me I'd get better, they just told me I'd get different. Today, ANYTHING, is better than the way it was. My old sponsor always used to tell me that; " The second time around in life is for fun". I believe that. Ya'all keep coming back, I might get a bit different, thanks.
Mark B
Member: Bob
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 6:11:01 AM
Hi I am Bob and alcoholic in recovery who as found inner peace
To Mo from Ireland
By experience as an alcoholic, I was the worst liar there was, because not only I lied to others but I always lied to myself.
Once I got in touch with my higher POWER and let his love come into my heart; I started to love myself again. The inner peace I felt allowed me to feel good about myself. My Higher POWER doesn't judge me. He his forgiving and loves me. My Higher Power will not zap me with his magic wand but will allow me to see the truth with in myself. I also discovered that proper dieting can help me go trough the craving of alcohool. I have found a great web site: www.drsears.com go there and discover how you can keep your body(Brain) in the Zone. A proper diet allows your brain to always be sharp and in crontrol. When I drank, I didn't eat properly and was left to the craving of alcohool. Physical exercise is also a good thing to do when you crave alcohool, it allows you to get ride of your anger and it provide a time to reflect on your day. It is hard to beleive but when you exercise regularly you have more energy.
The day I decided to have a honest meeting with my Higher POWER things started to change. I went to a quiet place, relaxed and did a complete account of all my life. I accounted for all my shortcoming in my life and asked for forgivness. I also reviewed all the things that made me feel good.
To do this alone his almost impossible. You need to get in touch with your Higher POWER and friends who will not judge you but accept you the way you are (The fellowship of AA). The strenght I have discovered to accept other human being the way they are; has releived the tension and cretisisim in my life by about 95%.
Good luck and discover inner Peace and Love
Bob
Member: Russell H
Location: Australia
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 6:45:00 AM
Mo, yes mate I endured for some years and every time I came back I was sicker. Fortunately at my first meeting I did hear 'NO MATTER WHAT KEEP COMING BACK'. I did just that and haven't had a drink for over 10 years so something must be working. Just keep coming back. God bless!
Member: Joe L. dos 08-05-75
Location: Phila., PA - USA
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 8:45:54 AM
Good Morning All; Thanks for the topic Les. My first thought wasn't "how much my life has changed", but rather, "That I have one at all." I was one of those people who were always trying to take themselves out, so I am truly blessed to be here. The second part was - "I was always waiting for my MISSION so to speak." You know, God must have got me sober for a reason, so now - "What's the reason?" Talk about a simple program for complicated people... Truth is, I have been sober for awile and I don't have all the answers. What I do believe is that as long as I'm sober, I got a shot. Thanks for being here. Peace, Out... LeachFtown@aol.com
Member: Stan R
Location: Coldwater MI
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 9:33:53 AM
Stan here, an Alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. To Mo: What ever happens remember one thing: "Keep coming back". Many of us have been where you are today. I first came to AA in 1974 and drank again after four and half years. I came back and then drank again. Finally I got the program (or it got me I have never been sure) and yesterday celebrated 23 years without the need to take a drink. Of course I never needed a drink I just wanted a drink. You just need to continue to remind yourself that you want to be sober more than you want to be drunk. Just keep trying and trust in a Higher Power whatever you decide it is for you. Good luck and take it one day at a time.
Member: john e
Location:
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 9:38:06 AM
Hi I'm John, an alcoholic who's sober today and feels hope. I had almost given up but returned to the program yesterday. I don't want to have anything right now and that's a very different feeling than I've had for many years. As trivial as such a short time sober probably sounds, it is a big life change for me.
Member: roger l
Location: toronto
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 10:19:27 AM
It's funny.. this morning i got out of my unrestful sleep and had no idea when I went to bed. I remember aronud 6pm last night looking in the freezer for somethign to eat, and saw 1/3 of a bottle of vodka left. One little drink won't hurt.
About 5 drinks later, I remember vaguely throwing out the empty vodka bottle. But I have no idea what time I went to bed, no idea what time I passed out. I blame it all on being single. But I have to stop.
Thanks for your strength people, your comments really help.
Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 12:10:35 PM
What I have found over the past 2.3 years of sobriety is that MY LIFE didn't change after getting sober, I DID. Actually, for a while after I put the drink down, my life was upside down because of the damage I did while using.
Life happens - good and bad - whether we are sober or not. What changed about me is that I REACT differently today to life than I did when I was drinking and that makes things easier to handle and my days a lot more enjoyable. I am no longer the control freak (most of the time) trying to run the show - yours, mine and everyone's around me. I turn things over today to my HP. I have learned to put pause between impulse and action. Lastly, one of the most important changes about me is that I am allowing people to be human... make mistakes... have their own likes and dislikes... their own way of doing things... and letting that be okay.
Bottom line - I enjoy my life today because I have changed, not because my life has changed. Same shit - different day - but today I can handle most things with the help of my higher power and AA.
Take care.
Member: Brenda
Location: Southern Indiana
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 1:47:40 PM
Hi everyone. My name is Brenda & I am an alcoholic. I have been sober 20 years and I am still learning from this program. How did my life change? ATTITUDE. From ungratefull to GRATEFUL. Attitude Of Graditude. It makes life much easier - when we remember to count our blessings. Before the glass was always half empty - now its have full - just a matter of positive thinking, learned around the tables of AA & the Big Book etc. TO MO - I played with the program for 5 years before I got sober. I just wasn't sure I was an alcoholic - didn't want to be one. A gal in AA told me if you walk like a duck & talk like a duck - chances are that you are a duck! One day I figured myself for a fool! I honesty looked at my self & realized that - for me - there are no more excuses to drink. I just went thru a divorce after 34 years of marriage - what a shock - I was devastated to say the least. Did I drink? No. I prayed alot - used positive affirmations, went to lots of meetings & thank God I had AA friends to whine to! In the back of my mind - I thought - you drink Brenda and you are the loser. For in the end - who do we really hurt the most? OURSELVES. I know I have another drunk left in me BUT I don't know if I have another recovery. All we really seek in a drink or drug is an escape from our emotions. We have to stop running from ourselves. We have to STOP and face whatever - be it anger - hate - jealousy - envy etc. Read the book "A CHILD CALLED IT" by Dave Pelzer. Also read "HELP YOUSELF" by the same author. Today I would rather be an alcoholic than a drunk. Thanks for letting me share. Thanks also to HP.
Member: Craig L
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 1:53:11 PM
When I was using every day I regained consciousness, puked and had to plan my next drink in order to stop shaking. I was afraid to answer the phone, pick up mail and God forbid someone knocks on the door. I ceased to have any resemblance of functioning. I only lived to drink.
This weekend I spent time with close friends, I talked with my sponsor about some personal issues around work and came up with a plan of action defined by the 12 steps and already feel better about it. I woke up rested and ready to enthusiastically face Monday morning at my job.
The greatest change is a willingness to admit my part, in my difficulties and the knowledge that I am never alone.
For MO and those still struggling “Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path.” (Page 58), Please “keep coming back”, we exist to help you, the new comers.
Member: susan a
Location: whitman ma
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 2:47:06 PM
hi katem usa i have been where you are before. i was with a man for 7years and all we did was drink. he used to get arrested and go to jail all the time. the night before i had our daughter, i found him drunk with anothe rwoman, and the night i had our little girl, he got arrested and went to jail. i had three othe r children plus a newborn to take care of. there is a time to say, enough is enough. i left him and got into another relationship with another alcoholi. we drank together for one month and decided to go to aa. he has successfully gone withouit a drink for 19 months and i have drank 4 times in the 19 months do whatever it takes to get yourself sober and maybe he will follow. good luck
Member: Mike M.
Location: Ohio
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 3:30:07 PM
Mike here, drunk, scholar and poet. My sponsor is a painter, and I'm convinced that there is a relationship between the legendary "artistic temperament" and addiction. What I'm NOT saying is that being a tortured artist justifies being a drunk, addict, or jerk. What I am saying is that we are entitled to express ourselves in constructive ways. I need to stay sober and go to meetings in order to keep doing that. Best regards!!
Member: Joshua E
Location: Houston, Texas
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 4:10:24 PM
Hi this is my first time doing this but i am not a alcoholic but i am a drug addict and i read the "big book" i am in a recovery center my P.O. sent me there for failing six of my U.A.'s and she sent me there for 60 days at first i was not willing to be there much less to stop drinking but now after 39 days i realized i need to be there and i want to be there and to get sober. So i am learning how to take life one day at a time and one of my sober friends told me " you can put one foot into tommorrow and one foot into yesterday and you are just in the postion to piss on today" thank you for letting me share
Member: Debbie
Location: Texas
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 4:25:53 PM
Hello,
I have been sober a year and very happily so. The only thing I am dealing with on a daily basis right now no matter how much I pray is resentment at work. The office manager, a recovering alcoholic friend of mine has quite a power trip and it is annoying me more every day. She makes salary and of course 5.00 more an hour than I do, She also has all of her insurance paid for her and her three kids. My complaint is I work very hard, am here early every day, never ask to leave early and am happy to do whatever needs to be done. One day I was late after a terrible storm and was stuck in traffic for an hour. She docked me the hour and I didn't feel that was fair but let it go. There are many other petty things which add up to one huge resentment. I think If I was a valued employee I wouldn't be docked that one hour since I would have been here on time (early actually). I can't take her holier than thou attitude and her power trips. Her title is office manager but she does the same work I do. When I try to confront her she raises her voice and intimidates me so I back down. Please help me with suggestions. I talk to my sponsor and others but I still need help.
Thank you
Member: @nonymous
Location:
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 4:46:18 PM
How can getting sober change your life? I don't think it can; Sober we go about the same activities as before, But now, meetings are added, and lord knows what all else this era of rehab has to heap up on us, if, so happened we were in the wrong place at the wrong time..It's one more egg to fry, one more bell to answer, For now that we've agreed to being an alcoholic, we find ourselves with another iron in the fire. I know of people in AA. (sad to say,) that are such that have to bus themselves way across town After a hard days work only: to pee in a bottle! For Christ's sake? I say Nay! I dare say, I, shall never desire to be in such a position, in this life, as to have to cart myself that far across town for such a purpose! All the way there, I would be thinking that I had had to carry with me what I could have relieved my self of from the onset, And, what if I had to stop and go half way there? Wouldn't it, and doesn't it, seem a foolish journey?.. And another thing; Ever notice, That if you keep going to meetings for long enough, you'll become an alcoholic? These days, We have more alcoholics, that got that way, from going to meetings! Rather than excess drinking!? Now I know, That that all sounds pretty bleak, but then again, the reasons for seeking and reaching out for the Hand of God is the more pressing. Yea, The insanity of it all is the more knit to the confounded ways of this world As much or more than it is to the bottle. "Faith and Hope and Love, These three remain, And that is all, And no more; That's rigorous honesty at it finest, But, So few, are so serious as to discover for themselves that that lively faith comes by hearing, and hearing, By the word of God. "Blessed Is The Man that walks not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor stands in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scornful; But his delight is in the law of the Lord; and in his law doth he meditate day and night"...For, Having alway the thought of throwing up his hands at such a mess as this is: His plan, Is to simply hide himself in the scriptures, in the hope that he will attain a better set of tools in doing so, And, That God will look down upon him favorably, sober slob that he is become, and will truly enlighten him with that grace that is a gift of God lest any man should boast....
Member: Don
Location: Canada
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 6:09:49 PM
To @nynmous
sounds pretty cryptic to me lol intentional no doubt
to Mike--- the drunk poet-- personally I would prefer a living Dylan Thomas to the dead one-- I suspect his poetry would have not suffered had he sobered up -- but it certainly ended by his early death because of he drank himself to death. ( I stand corrected if his death by drinking was just myth)
I use to justify my own drinking because of the artistic thingy too-- Today I'd rather be alive and be able to produce even if it is somewhat less tormented -- take care
Member: Mike R
Location:
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 7:29:11 PM
As a recovering alcoholic/addict living with advanced stages of AIDS I cannot always get out of the house and make it to a meeting ...I find this format very suitable in these times :) I am very greatful to AA for giving me hope.... I was able to get enough time for the thoughts to clear up and make a sound decision to not only invite, but to follow my HP Jesus Christ. I now am happy and wealthy at heart. I take comfort in knowing ...I will meet my maker sober one day, I look forward to that day! May you also find Him now.
Member: Ted A
Location: bethel, maine
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 8:58:09 PM
Ted A,alcoholic.changes,well lets se .i don't have hangovers.i no longer hug the toilet seat.i wake up and know where i am. i show up for work.i could go on and on but i think you get the point.grateful to be sober today
Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 10/29/2001
Time: 10:12:42 PM
Hi, to all and welcome to the newcomers. My name is Donnie and this topic is a very good one for me. I have to say that change has came in all direction of my life. I have true friend`s that give a shit if I come around with money or not.(I am sure everyone knows what I mean when I say this) I have found a higher power in which I choose to call God. This was probably one of the biggest changes for me, because there was a lot of years that I blamed God for the way I was and for everything that had happened in my life. I am a college student at the age of thirty three and I am maintaining a B average. I do not say this to brag, but when I first got sober I could hardly remember how to write or even read. I have learned how to cook and not to burn the house down. I have been able to become a roll model for my ten year old son, there was a day that he did not want to have anything to do with me. I have found that talking this way can INFLATE our ego`s and we must never forget what have done and what we have to do each day to keep this gift that has been given to us. If we try to take our will back we will surly fail at soberity. My only true wish if I were to die tonight I have to thank God that I would DIE SOBER!! Thank for letting me share and God bless all.
Member: dwight
Location: chula vista,calif
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:04:52 AM
hi my names dwight grateful recovering alcoholic just take everything one day at a time and in gods time everything will workout in his time stay sober dont drink no matter what thanks
Member: dwight
Location: chula vista,calif
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:05:09 AM
hi my names dwight grateful recovering alcoholic just take everything one day at a time and in gods time everything will workout in his time stay sober dont drink no matter what thanks
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:12:50 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Good topic. My life has changed that for the most part, I approve of the way I live today. I am comfortable with me. The key for me to good sobriety is that I am useful today, no more, no less, jsut useful. I have a reason to get up in the morning. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Mo
Location: USA
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:20:38 AM
Another Mo here, I wish I was from Ireland, only my familly is, and so a part of me may be also, Erin Go Bragh. Why do I drink? I don't know too many other ways to live. I've been going to meetings since May 2001---but been around drinking and drinking since I can remember. I'm beginning to see that there is another way to live. I have balked and tried to find a softer, gentler way. I did 30 days sober and drank at the stoke of 12 to celebrate, actually I was amazed I could go one day sober, but I wanted it badly then. Now I'll go a few days, week maybe two if i'm lucky, Without a drink. and my life is certainly fuller, more blessed, more conscience without a drink or hangover. Why can't I keep it? "You won't surrender", some very wise person with 25 years told me. I'm slowly learning to surrender my will, and that is such a good thing. Thank-you all who keep saying "keep coming back" I want what you have, and i'm trying to learn how to get it. Thank-you from the bottom of my heart! Mo
Member: Wm A
Location: Niagara Falls Canada
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 8:12:38 AM
Well today i celebrate in a quiet reflective way one week of sobriety. Wish it was a year but day by day that too shall come and pass. I do realize that I am not further away from a drink than some one who has been in revecovery for a 1,000 weeks. I am elated, no longer shaking, more calm, clear head ....and the sun in the morning for the first in a long time looks grand. THANK YOU to all here and my HP for your support.
Member: Stephanie H
Location: Texas
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 10:27:50 AM
Good morning all! My name is Stephanie and I am an extremely grateful alcoholic. Les, what a wonderful topic, thanks! I could go on and on about how much my life has changed since I joined AA, but I'm going to keep it short this morning. The best thing that has come out of my sobriety is SERENITY. That absolute sense of calm and peace that never before existed in my life, and for that I am truly grateful.
Member: eileen l
Location: nh
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 12:25:43 PM
10 years and it still amazes me that it gets better. The gifts of recovery are great-I am greatful today
Member: Ray F.
Location: Fire Island NY
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 12:28:39 PM
My name is Ray F. and I am an alcoholic. My life has changed immeasureably like many others. All of the changes have been good. Recently I've been through another dramatic change. I have 15 years sober and am married with two children. We lived right in front of the WTC in NY and my kids school also happened to be right in front of the WTC. The meeting I went to was two blocks away from the WTC. Everything has been turned upside down but I/We are very lucky to be sober and to have known what to do. We moved to Fire Island where we recently bought a summer house and its been great for all involved. We bought a dog and are trying as best we can to be happy, joyous and free. There are not many meetings here during the winter so I think I am going to be coming to this website a fair amount. Sorry for the long post. May God be with us all.
Member: JimB
Location: Planet Earth
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 1:40:41 PM
Hi all, JimB here, happy to know I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. The biggest change for me since getting sober has been simply not wanting to get drunk. Whereas before it was a given that I would, whether I really wanted to or not, today I do not, no matter what. I can live inside my own skin for once in my life and I can face the difficulties I am expieriencing in my life, without running to the bottle to get relief. I have the normal kind of life that was always so elusive to me when I was an active drunk and creating insanity in every aspect of my life. Also today I know that God loves me and I can seek his protection and care and all will be well if I seek to do His will and not mine. Thank you for 12 steppin mw.
Member: Lionel -C
Location: Australia
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:06:21 PM
hello lionel recovering alcoholic.
hi mo
I may be able to suggest something . instead of trying to stop drinking. try to stop starting to drink . most times it's the first drink that does the damage .ones to many hundreds not enougth.if you know what i mean. it was suggested to me don't pick up the first drink , get to AA meetings. get the big book (READ IT)the awnsers for an alcoholic are within it's pagers.find a sponser. simple no easy. find a God of your understanding.With all that happening you wont have time to drink.
love you need you lionel -c
Member: Matt P
Location:
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:55:31 PM
Member: Matt P
Location:
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 2:58:23 PM
I just stoped drinking two weeks ago. I don't know if I'm an alcoholic or not. Its either drinking and getting a divorce or quit drinking and stay married to my lovely wife. The choice is clear and I am happily still married. I often think about taking a drink but i know that this will just end up in me getting drunk again.
Member: JimB
Location:
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 4:13:23 PM
me^^
Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila., PA - USA
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 5:03:34 PM
Hi All; Sorry to double dip.
TEXAS DEBBIE: I am a grunt like you, but my wife is a Manager. She says you have to secretly document, and if, after a month you think you have a case, take it to your manager's manager or human resources.
Personally, I think you have a legitimate resentment. If you start early every day, no way should she have taken that hour away. However, that is in the past and you have to pray on that one. However, if the other stuff is still going on, keep a record and see if it's enough to justify a complaint. My wife thinks she's afraid of you.
I think you're doing the right thing. Keep on doing what you're doing, and for God's sake - stay sober. Peace, Out...
Member: Bob F.
Location: Baraboo
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 8:07:16 PM
To the strggling folks who don't think they are changing. Just being at a meeting was a 180 degree change in my life and many others followed. Am now able to count my sobriety in decades and the God given capacity to change is still mine. I like the saying "the man I was drank and the man I was will drink again". So I need the program on a daily basis to maintain the (new me). I have never gained power over alcohol but I have a curious and delightful freedom from it, contingent on my not drinking any of it!!
Member: Cathy L.
Location: Minnesota
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 9:12:20 PM
Hi Everyone!!
I am just a "rookie", trying to stay sober. The biggest change in my life was finding a fellowship of people who are not afraid to say "life is great when you are sober." Both of my parents are alcoholics. Joy and happiness were not things I was allowed to talk about as a kid. I am extremely grateful to be able to talk about finding true happiness in my life. I am working hard to practise the steps and pray that I will find serenity in my sobriety. Thanks to everyone for being my family!!
Member: mikes
Location: mass
Date: 10/30/2001
Time: 10:22:13 PM
sober for 300 day things do change
Member: Kevin Bumby
Location: Farmington NM
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 1:01:25 AM
The date of my last drink is Oct. 1, 1990. I say this not to boast, but to share with the newcommer that a contented, useful life is possible. I played with the plan of action outlined in our basic text, the BigBook. I went to meetings and did not drink. I became more miserable the when I drank. I did not have my solution for lifes problems any more. I got drunk after about four months dry. I don"t want to ever forget that last drunk. The only thing I have done 100% is the first step and kept coming back no matter what. When I decided I wanted to be sober more than I wanted to drink my wife and kids where 1600 miles awawy from me. All I had was me too look at. That was God"s Grace. I still go to meetings on a regular basis, read the BigBook and 12&12, work the steps,Work with my SPONSOR, and Pray alot. The results are I haven"t found it necessary to take a Drink in 11 years. I"m a full tine father to my children. Sometimes I lose my serenity with them. I have found a solution to all my difficulties in AA. It is only by God"s Grace, the fellowship of AA, the steps that I have had another sober day. Thank you and may God Bless you ALL.
Member: Joe K.
Location: Huntsville, TX
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 2:26:14 AM
I'm an alcoholic, my name is Joe.
Les M. - Change has been the inevitable result of working the steps with a sponsor and not drinking one day at a time. My entire way of looking at life, other people, the world around me, my relationship with a Power bigger than me, and with myself in general have all changed. This could not be possible for a drunk like me except from what Alcoholics Anonymous has freely given to me.
Martha W. - the book Alcoholics Anonymous has many suggestions in the chapter "Working With Others." But, I am sure you will find many opportunities to be of service and attempt to pay back even a small portion of what AA has given to you as you continue to attend meetings and make yourself available to others looking for the release from this desease as it was offered to you. Take the time to greet every new person with a smile and a helping hand.
MO from Ireland - I found it impossible to stop drinking as long as I thought there was something I could do to quit. It was not until I KNEW for certain that there was no hope for me, that I found the ability to "go to any length." It was when I was completely defeated, I found the Power to overcome this thing one day at a time.
Kate M. - Although there are many (including myself) who believe the desease of alcoholism to be hereditary, it is doubtful that it is "contageous." I had many "excuses" (many which seemed right and plausable) for my drinking the way I did. But it did not illiminate the fact that I suffered from a desease which was going to kill me if I continued down the road I was traveling. Like me, I believe you will find that your husband cannot MAKE YOU an alcoholic. Your drinking is not your husband's problem, nor is your husband's drinking your problem. Go to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous, ask for help for your own drinking, and do it one day at a time. All the other "problems" will take care of themselves. This has been my experience.
Roger L. - Thanks for sharing your hardship. It reminds me a lot of myself. I had plenty of "reasons" I drank. And, like yourself, I knew that one drink was going to take me to the unknown. So many here have already said it.... "Keep coming back." Don't give up the minute before the "miracle" happens.
Mike M. - Funny. A couple members in my group and myself have had the very same discussion on more than one occassion. Artists are a strange lot, for sure, and I rate along with them. I agree that AA provides an atmosphere for expression like none other. I have learned, however, it benefits me more to suppress my "expression" for the benefit of LISTENING. Even though I might at times think of myself as "terminally unique," I grow much more from the expressions of others than through my own expressions. Of course, we still gather before and after meetings to carry on our "expressing." It is a wonderful thing.
Debbie from Texas - Dealing with other people's humanity has been almost as difficult for me as dealing with my own. However, I found that through working the steps with my sponsor, I became more "well." Consequently, the "weller" I got, the "weller" other people got aslo. Even those people who seem to act injustly. My sponsor suggested that I pray continuously for those people and for tollerance in myself. I didn't like doing it, but it apparently worked. Either that, or I was distracted by the praying long enough to work through the steps until the problem seemed to dissappear.
Mike R. - thank you for sharing your experience, strength and hope. It is in your few simple words that express the "changes" which are possible through the miricle of AA. If you haven't already taken advantage of it, the Grapevine is another good source of "meetings" when you are not able to physically attend. God bless you.
Mo from USA - The person with 25 years sober may be right, but it doesn't offer the solution as to how to gain the willingness to surrender, does it? I was a lot like Rambo when I was trying to sober up -- I kept fighting a war I lost years ago; I just never would concede to defeat. I found victory when I finally lost hope and conceded to a greater foe. I didn't know, nor did I expect, that there was help out there for people like me. I found that help in AA. I never won that "war." By the grace of a Power bigger than me, I live in peace (without the necessity of drinking) one day at a time.
Matt P. - They told me when I came to AA wondering if I was an alcoholic that, people who are NOT alcoholic don't wonder if they are alcoholic. Go to meetings, read the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous - you will know in short order if you suffer from this desease.
Thank you all for sharing yourselves with me and contributing to my sobriety. It is my prayer that you find the peace and joy within yourselves through the "gift" of sobriety.
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, florida
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 9:18:57 AM
hello to each my name is richard , i am an alcoholic~~~ to day is number 5786 days of clean and contiguous sobriety.....since dec 28 1985..by the grace of god ~~~~i pray that all of my character defects have been removed...and if you will allow me to ....i pray to god that yours will be removed also.....
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fl
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 9:23:39 AM
hello my name is richard , i am an alcoholic.today is day # 5786 days of clean and sober sobriety ..they are contiguous....love, peace and hqappiness ...by the grace of god ~
Member: Robert
Location: Nova Scotia,Canada
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 9:57:10 AM
Hi Mo,I just want to tell you that what your going through now is the hardest part,and it will get easier if your prepared to stick it out and fight the battle.Don't give up just before the miracle happens.Indulge yourself completely in AA till you feel stronger.Its a living hell,wanting so much to stop but also craving a drink so bad.See a doctor about anti-buse,its a tool that might get you through.Find some sober AA people to hang out with,go to all the meetings you can.When your not at a meeting,read the BB.When your not reading,visit this site.There must be a reason for you to want to stop drinking,and that reason must be important to put yourself through all this suffering.If its that important then its worth fighting for,and you will have to.In 1 month you will feel so much better if you can just hold on,just get today in,don;t have a drink untill you get homefrom the meeting tonite.Then put it off till morning,then go to bed.When you wake up you ewon't feel like drinking so much.Do it again.You may have to fight the battle like this,a few sober hours at a time,but it does get easier(yea right,I thought,when they told me that).Don't let anyone tell you its easy,its not.If anyone offers you a drink,punch them.Check back here tommorrow and tell me how your making out.Ill give you my E-Mail addy if you want to talk private.Id like to have a freind in Ireland.
Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 10:56:44 AM
Hello all - LeeEllen here and a grateful recovering alcoholic/addict. Thanks Les M for the topic -- sometimes we need to reflect on where we've been and what's happened since sobriety.
All I have to do is read the promises --- all of that has been given to me, just like the Big Book says. I've lived 2 lives --- one of degeneracy, selfishness, drunkeness, etc., and one of peace of mind, body & spirit.
While I have much learning yet to do, I find myself now in a place where I like myself, my family loves me and I have real friends -- the kind you only find in AA. The journey has been hard at times but it comes with the greatest rewards.
Thank you all for being here and letting me share. God Bless. Peace, LeeEllen
Member: luckyboy
Location: in my moms underwear drawer
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 12:55:14 PM
hi my name is luckyboy im gay and an alcoholic
Member: Jo
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 12:59:41 PM
Hi to all. Jo here and I am an alcoholic. Today is my 25th day of sobriety and yes, I have experienced changes in my sober life. The biggest change is the cravings are finally going away because I have replaced them with exercise. This may not work for everyone but it certainly has me. The other change I am seeing is that when a conflict arises I seem to handle it with a calmer approach knowing this to shall pass. Thanks for the topic. Life is getting better, one day at a time.
Member: Graham M.
Location: Canberra, Australia
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 2:50:38 PM
Mo From Ireland asks about how to stay stopped - cos he 'always' seems to revert to drinking after a time of sobriety - and he fears this 'slipping' state of mind may become permanent.
I don't want to sound too harsh - but if what you are now doing (or if how you are now thinking) is not keeping you sober - then obviously somthing has to change!
And Irishmen *CAN* stay sober too - despite all the lovely pubs on every second corner! (vbg!)
I was over in your wonderful country in April of this year - and saw happy and sober alkies in Irish AA meetings by the score!
I went to AA meetings principally at Monkstown and in the city in Dublin and over in Gallway.
And I have the *PICTURES* to prove it - including the lovely interior of the Monkstown AA meeting room. I've loaded them on my Home Page at: http://www.effect.net.au/gmacafee/6
Sure - some of the meeting customs and formats in Ireland may be a bit different to how we do AA in Australia - but no matter where I've been to AA meetings (in several countries around the world now) it's always a great joy to see the same people bringing the same problem to the same solution.
And (despite appearances to the contrary in your own life at present) AA does and will *WORK*.
In AA you will find all the necessary tools: We have a wonderful worldwide fellowship - we have Steps and Traditions and we have lots of AA literature, etc...
But unfortunately there is one magic ingredient (in the AA formula for success) that AA does not and cannot ever supply. Only you can supply this essential ingredient.
The missing magic ingredient is called 'Motivation'.
Sadly, AA does not run any 'motivational' classes! Meetings yes - but not 'motivational' classes! That ingredient you have to bring into AA with you - as per Tradition 3.
So unless your pain level has reached such a degree of horrific intensity that you will do *ANYTHING* to get and stay sober - AA will be a dead duck for you - she won't work!
And it usually takes a whole heap of pain and suffering and torment to provide the average alky with the necessary *MOTIVATION* to go at AA 'boots and all' - with might and main - never looking back fondly to the 'old life' of pubs, clubs and dives - and to keep on going at AA with desperate, almost manic, intent - without let or hindrance and without any hint of reservation!
*BUT* if you are willing to admit defeat and to surrender your life to a Higher Power (of your own choosing) and to go at AA *BOOTS AND ALL* and to get your arse into to daily AA meetings and to get an AA Sponsor and begin work your Step Four *TODAY* then all the necessary power to keep away from First Drinks *WILL* appear - seemingly out of nowhere!
If you don't want to slip - then keep out of slippery places - ie Pubs, Clubs and Dives.
If you want to stay sober - then immerse yourself with the people (in AA) who are doing that - and simply do what the 'winners' in AA do.
They will be able to 'share' with you all that they do (to live sober) but they won't be able to do anything to or for you.
Especially they won't be able to 'motivate' you! Either you're willing to go to any lengths (to get and stay sober) or you're not.
Best wishes,
Graham M.
Member: Chris
Location:
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 3:38:11 PM
Chris here an alcoholic. MO, you only have to get sober one day at a time. Also, go to face to face meetings and talk before you drink. If you go to a meeting every day, you'll have all kinds of understanding people with you to deal with the issues. You don't have to do it alone.
Sober blessings
Member: Chris K
Location: Hawaiian Rainforest
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 7:55:49 PM
Just read Brenda's share. I thought, wow what a lot of courage to weather a divorce sober. Then I realized that I have weathered some devastating things too. And not so gracefully! But - it is really not so much that we in AA have courage, but rather that we allow ourselves to be helped by the loving of the fellowship, and HP. That to me is really the key. Mo, you do have the courage to get and stay sober, "keep coming back" and allow yourself to be helped...it's a WE program.
Member: Nick Z
Location: IL.
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 11:43:49 PM
Member: Nick Z
Location: IL.
Date: 10/31/2001
Time: 11:47:32 PM
read the big book, it works everything is in there that you need.
Member: Andrea M.
Location: Illinois
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 2:35:47 AM
Hi, I'm Andrea and I'm a drug addict. I have been going to local AA meeting almost 3 times a day for the last few weeks. I can't believe all that I get out of them. I am 23 and very new to sobriety. I was at my 2 week mark, but then I got high. Now I only have 24 hours under my belt. I just keep thinking one day at a time. Why does everything have to be so damn hard???
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Texas
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 11:35:32 AM
Good topic. Change is something I used to fight and still do at times. I've been sober 16 years and I am a different person. Now, I can laugh, I can cry, and say goodbye. I'm real, not a phoney. I've been divorced twice in soberity, and was never divorced while drunk for 25 years. Today, I don't have to stay in a sick relationship; I can say goodbye. I'm free. Made free by HP, God to me, and the 12 steps that lead to a spiritual awakening. Health is worse. Age and abuse of my body catching up with me. Less money, because it's lower on my priority, but like one lady said, "I have a serenity that I didn't know existed". Sure I blow it at times because I'm a very fallible human being, but today I can forgive myself. I like living in my skin (good thing, huh?) My current, and last wife is 15 years sober. She assures me that she is the last and I believe her. We've got ten of our years of recovery together. Life is good. tiger@selectrec.net
Member: dennis c
Location: wisconsin
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 11:50:53 AM
hello i m dennis an alcoholic.. i believe all grace goes to GOD,. the program works if we follow it, i have turned my will over to god and hopefully with my stinkin thinkin it will stay there.. actually it is simple . one day at a time because god will take care of tommorrow.. the changes in my life since no drinking are numerous and good.. by god's grace all is possible.. i hope you all well and may our father bless and keep you and give you peace..thanks for reading and please keep coming back,, you could help someone stay sober TODAY
Member: Steven
Location:
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 12:13:32 PM
After 20 years of heavy drinking, cheating, lying and generally being a bad person - I finally discovered I was not happy, was not a good husband and father, and needed to find Jesus Christ. Through prayer, God has managed to somehow save me. I am no longer drinking (and plan to stay sober - It has been 3 months), I have found God (what a GREAT feeling)and am becoming a good charactered person.
My email address is nvflag@sprynet.com .
Feel free to email me on any matter - and since I am a novice being sober for only 3 months after 20 years of drinking, I welcome your support. It is great being sober, but EVEN Better now that I have found the love of Jesus that makes my everyday so much easier to cope. I was a skeptic for over 20 years. But the strenght of God does exist and can help us all stay sober... and then some !
Steven
Member: Steven
Location:
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 12:13:56 PM
After 20 years of heavy drinking, cheating, lying and generally being a bad person - I finally discovered I was not happy, was not a good husband and father, and needed to find Jesus Christ. Through prayer, God has managed to somehow save me. I am no longer drinking (and plan to stay sober - It has been 3 months), I have found God (what a GREAT feeling)and am becoming a good charactered person.
My email address is nvflag@sprynet.com .
Feel free to email me on any matter - and since I am a novice being sober for only 3 months after 20 years of drinking, I welcome your support. It is great being sober, but EVEN Better now that I have found the love of Jesus that makes my everyday so much easier to cope. I was a skeptic for over 20 years. But the strenght of God does exist and can help us all stay sober... and then some !
Steven
Member: Evin D
Location: Sunny South Florida
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 1:39:59 PM
Mo, Irleand.
Another Irishman here - a sober one for 4 years. Mo, my heart goes out to you. I moved to the US in 1987 (grew up in Sligo and Dublin) and sobered up here 4 years ago, thank God. On my frequent visits back I can see how hard it can be to stay sober in a country where booze is so prevelant. Pubs on every corner, in every locality, booze for sale in the supermarket, the newsagent, the butchers (!). It is very, very difficult. However, I do know that AA works in Ireland as well as it does anywhere else. Find a home group, go to meetings every day (as often as you need), get a sponsor and stick with the winners. Avoid people, places and things that have a tie in with booze. You're weclome to contact me and depending what part of the country you're in I may have some good AA contacts for you. And remember, it's a day at a time. You only have to stay sober for today.
wallstreetduo@yahoo.com
Member: Justification
Location: Nevernever Land
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 3:26:17 PM
A Poem I was having a bad day, I did not know what to do or say, Then I took an antidepressant, And all my troubles went away. My friends think I must be dumb, 'Cause I like feeling comfortably numb. And they're not drugs, as you can see, Because my doctor gave them to me. So spare me your psychosis, I love being a duel diagnosis. Now I don't have a woory or a care, For I make my living off SSI and Welfare. So, go ahead, call me a liar. I'll just turn up the volumn on my justifier.
Member: luckyboy
Location:
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 4:43:58 PM
at michel jacksons the mollesters house
Member: lonelyboy
Location:
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 9:17:56 PM
Member: Misha B
Location:
Date: 11/1/2001
Time: 10:40:27 PM
Debbie, your post made me think of something someone reminded me of at a meeting. Acceptance does not mean having to remain in a situation that is bad for me. Not saying it is for you, but just that this reminds me of a work situation I had where I kept working on self to the point I almost destroyed myself. In my case acceptance meant I had to accept my personal limitations in the situation and become willing to step out in faith. I did and boy what a beautiful journey it was. God Bless.
Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 1:46:10 AM
One of the things that is a constant amazement to me is how much my life has changed since becoming sober…..
My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. The very beginning of my copy of the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” says “The story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism” - It really is amazing. This program and the book that describes it are all about change.
Change is not easy. For me changing means 1) not drinking and remembering I am alcoholic. 2.)Trying to trust God 3.)Meetings because I need to meet others who have found the answer to their alcoholism today or who might want some help or to talk. 4.) Steps 1-12 in a nutshell for me today:
There are promises with each of the steps in the book. Steps 1&2 for me are the forwards, Doctors Opinion and the First 4 chapters (and many parts of the stories in the back) – they are all filled with promise and hope. Step 3 starts right after “How it works”(p58) and it says “This is only a beginning, though if honestly and humbly made, an effect, sometimes a very great one, was felt at once”. Step 4 promises (p70) if I have been thorough that I will see my defects and their futility; it tells me I made a good beginning and that I have “begun to learn tolerance, patience, and good will…”. Step 5 (p75) promises that if I “skip this vital step I may not overcome drinking” but after its done I “can look the world in the eyes, be alone at perfect peace and ease, and that my fears will fall from me” it goes on to say I “may have had certain spiritual beliefs but now we begin to have some spiritual experience..the feeling that the drink problem has been overcome will often come strongly”. For me steps 6&7 are themselves promises. Who would not want something outside and greater than themselves to remove their defects. Letting God do the work but being willing to do my part that is a big change. Steps 8&9 have the often quoted and very cool promises on p.84. Step 10 has some good stuff too, I “will seldom be interested in liquor” I “ am not fighting it or avoiding it…..the problem has been removed…am neither cocky or afraid” (p.85 ) Step 11 promises me that if I try to pray and then sit still and be quiet in my head (as close as I can get to meditation so far ) I am “then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity and foolish decisions,” I “will not tire so easily and will be more efficient” “It works it really does” (p. 88). Step 12 promises that my “life will take on new meaning, to watch people recover, to see them help others, and to see fellowship grow up about me, to have a host of friends”- this is an experience I don’t want to miss.
What I am trying to say is that many of the things the book says are very true for me. One alcoholic. I was screwed now I have a chance. None of the stuff I just copied from the book happens for me all the time but so far it has been happening enough. I hope all alkys get a chance and find whatever they need. Thanks for the topic, and thanks to everyone for being here.
Member: mary K
Location: NE ohio
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 5:07:48 AM
hi, mary here,
Mo, get thee to a meeting, or better yet sign yourself in to a treatment center. Detox was the last place I ever thought I would find myself, but there is so much to learn about this disease that sometimes you need to be a captive audience. Take the body and the mind will follow.
since I've always been a control freak the Serenity Prayer is the best way I can describe the change in my life. I thought I was responsible for everyone. I thought that it was my fault if someone was mad, glad, sick, tired or whatever. I found out I wasn't that powerful. I have never known as much peace in my life, and I pray I will never loose this feeling.
I met a young girl in treatment. I was scaredto death, didn't know what I was supposed to be doing, where I was supposed to go, or how long I would be there. This "kid" [she was younger than my daughter] came up to me, grabbed my hand and started pumping away. "hi. my nane is Phoebe and I'm a heroin addict!" Ok so now I know I'm in the wrong place and I need to get out NOW. To make along story short Pheb had been in treatment 16 times. She really wanted some peace in her life but she had a hard time. Life hadn't been easy for her. I learned more from her than from anyone else. I only stayed 3 days, Pheb was staying 28, and she begged me to stay with her { by this time she was calling me "mom"}. I couldn't stay. Two weeks later she left the center. I found out 3 days later she died fom an overdose. Whenever I wonder what sobriety has given me I think about her. I know she can see what I'm doing with the tools she gave me and I want her to be proud of me. When I say my prayers each morning and visit with my HP I always tell Him to say Hi to her for me. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West Fl
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 6:05:03 AM
Hi Family, Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic. I know this is probably nothing to do with the topic, but I just woke up and had to get this off my chest, and what better way than to share with my family. I have been sober for over 4 years, and this is the first time that I had a drunk dream, and it scared me to no end, and the thing that bothers me is that my mother gave me some beer, and I didn't drink beer(vodka drink of choice), also my mother has been passed away for over 11 years. In my dream I kept saying to myself and others, I have to pick up a white chip, and I don't want to drink, but I know in my dream I got drunk, and woke up scared, and just had to write it down and tell on myself. Yhank you for letting me share and get it off my chest, and I will be telling on myself this morning at my Attitude Adjustment meeting. I am so gratful it was only a dream, but oh so real.kwduke_1999@yahoo.com I Love you all Charlie Darling
Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa Florida
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 9:34:27 AM
Hi all, Tom M. Recovering alcohlic. Praise Jesus Christ(MY HIGHER POWER) I am here, alive, sober, and happy to greet another day he has given me. When I finally got sober almost 10 years ago, with his help through A.A. and the great people in the groups, things began to change for me too. One day at a time. But boy the differance between 10 years ago and now are unmeasurable! So MO it can be done. get to a meeting, and take it one day at a time. God Bless You and keep coming back, because it works.
Member: cj
Location: ga
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 2:42:58 PM
When I came to these rooms 7/99, the only thing I wanted to change in my life was to not want to drink. God has given me my sobriety a day at the time and so very much more. My life is simple, managable and full of love and service. I no longer view this world as a horrible place of which I don't belong.
Change is necessary for people like us that only lived to drink liquor. It's uncomfortable and akward at times. It's worth every second of discomfort to experience the life God and A.A. has given me. A life beyound me wildest dreams. I have found serenity and happiness.
I have been given life. My entire world has taken on shape and meaning, it's no longer broken into little pieces, but whole, real and well. I can never pay back all that has freely been given to me. Please keep coming back.
Member: Lionel-c
Location: Australia
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 3:00:14 PM
lionel -c
alcoholic,,
Hi Charlie i to have had a couple of alcoholic dreams. And woken up not noing for sure if i drank or not. It is scary. But i wish to believe today that it was Gods way of letting me see how dagerous a slip would be for me .I can't realy be sure if i have another recovery left. And in my dreams family were involved. and all that stinking thinking was there .the lies and excusses. In the dream i woke up with all the GUILT- REMORSE-SHAME- of the nite before . I thank God it was only a dream.for life today is nothing like it was .today and most days i have piece of mind'rather than a mind in piecess.Of myself i cant stay sober i need and love you all.thankyou .
lionel-c
Member: bellakat
Location: south florida
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 6:50:22 PM
Member: bellakat
Location: south florida
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 6:58:41 PM
in one of my 14 treatments and detoxes, a wise old counselor said to me...all you have to do is don't drink, go to meetings, and change your whole f--------- life. If you do the first two things, the third will happen automatically. if i do my disciplines, (ask hp for sobriety, read my meditation book, go to work, call my sponsor, go to a meeting and thank my hp for a sober day, then i don't have time for stinkin thinking (the problem centers in my mind) and my life and awareness change and grow and i can live without psychic pain mo, dear little light from ireland, hope you don't have to go down the same paths I did, they say every bottom has a trap door and some of those trap doors lead to death and/or insanity and that's where i was ....if you cannot love yourself let the folks in the meeting rooms hug you...and if you get the option for treatment....what a blessing take it either way, go one day without a drink or drug and then go another, and watch the miracles start to happen
Member: Gloria McD
Location: Kino Bay, Sonora, MX
Date: 11/2/2001
Time: 10:11:46 PM
Hi! My name is Gloria and I'm a very grateful, recovering alcoholic. How has sobriety changed my life? As mentioned - it gave me a life I most likely would not have had. I sobered up 19 years ago at age 41 only because I couldn't die and I couldn't drink anymore. I did not opt to get sober as 'Choice #1'. Dying was choice #1 - it would have been easier I figured and besides, "Why would anyone want to live and not drink??" "Life is hard enough as it is. Why and how can I survive without alcohol?" All I wanted out of AA was to get the heat off from the boss and hopefully not get fired and to somehow learn from you guys how to go back to drinking like it used to be - before all the troubles came with it. I was only going to hang out with you guys long enough to accomplish that. Thank God that during that period - my mind cleared enough to hear what you said. You also told me, "Just keep coming back and sit down and shut up and listen cause you don't know enough to say anything helpful yet. You'll only embarrass yourself if you open your mouth." You were right! Your way of life was so different from what I'd been living that my life changed from the minute I crossed into that first meeting room in Midland Tx in March of 1982. My life has gotten better and better ever since. I could have probably only achieved a small level of improvement had I just showed up and did nothing, but I'm such a greedy sot, I wanted it all, so I did it all and it all paid off then and continues to pay off today. Thank God for my life, my serenity, my sobriety. The basics don't change: GO TO MEETINGS. GET A SPONSOR THAT CAN WORK THE STEPS WITH YOU - OVER AND OVER AND OVER, AD INFINITUM. FIND A GOD THAT GETS BIGGER AND BIGGER AS YOU DO. PRAY. Hugs - heart to heart. Gloria
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 10:13:54 AM
I am an alcoholic "How my life has changed since I am sober".The most imporatant of all is that I am alive today it would not have happed if i had not found AA and worked my recovery.I have learnt how to enjoy life each day and hrs. My concience contact with God and HP and understanding was most rewarding.Happiness in practicing spirtuality was next. with allthis hapiness follows through.Thanks to AA.
Member: Dry in the Desert
Location: Nevada
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 11:19:28 AM
Good Morning Everyone:
My name is Walter and I am an Alcoholic.....and I have enjoyed a wonderful sobriety since April 30, 1989.
As my sponsor likes to say: "Walter, you can not get where you ARE from where your WERE !"
When I was carried (literally) into my first meeting I was broken in every sense....physically, spiritually and finacially. I hurt so much I wanted to to die or go to prision to hide from the world.
Today; I do not have a job, I have a career; I do not have friends, I have family; I do not have a house, I have a home......and most importantly, I have God of my own understanding who guides me through Life.
IT'S A GREAT DAY !! ENJOY IT ALL !!
Member: M.F.
Location: sprfd mo
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 11:26:59 AM
Dear Les ; "humility is thinking of yourself less, not less of your self" . Sorry guy's . I was and could still be a 24 x 7 active alcoholic,but thankfully the people in these rooms were here,they told me to "go to meetings, work steps, find a sponsor and do service work;and "One day at a time you'll never have to drink again" Les I thought I was going to die if I kept Drinking ,so I against my true will(to drink)surrendered to there suggestions;twentyfour years ago yesterday.A person once told me "Work Steps,or Die" M.F.
Member: steve w
Location: texas
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 12:18:07 PM
Member: steve w
Location: texas
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 12:19:44 PM
Hi, My name is Steve and I'm an alcholic.. I'm at work and just needed a meeting.... thanks
Member: Rich R, s-l-o-w-l-y recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit (richr_srcp@hotmail.com)
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 12:44:27 PM
Thanks Les for the great topic. My life has changed a ton since becoming sober. For one thing 'les' is more :-) I mean les alcohol is more serenity. Les gambling is more money and sanity. Les tobacco is more physical health. Les overeating is more self-esteem. My story goes on and on like that. But, I also need to be honest about the other type of changes since becoming sober. I feel MORE and not always good feelings either. I think more instead of escaping into my addiction(s), thinking for me is not necessarily a g-r-e-a-t move :-) I have more contact with my Higher Power, which can be very intimidating at times. But, all-in-all the changes since sobriety are mostly good ones. I would not go back to being an active drunk for anything! Thanks for letting me share. I'll be back next week.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 3:10:54 PM
Hi, my name is Sarah and I am an alcoholic. Today I am A SOBER ALCOHOLIC THANKS TO A.A., the experience, strength and hope shared thru the twelve steps and twelve traditions. I was an HOPELESS DRUNK. I have come to meetings... they read "How it Works", say the Serinity Prayer (a "ME prayer"), then share their personal stories (experience, strength and hope), then they say a "We prayer" (usually the Lord's Prayer but I have been in meetings where it was another "We prayer"(in an Indian meeting it was a "Grandfather prayer)), then they say "KEEP COMING BACK" I was a HOPELESS DRUNK, turning my will and life over to the care of that "DESTRUCTIVE POWER" called " "ALCOHOL". Today, I turn my will and life over to the care of a "HEALING POWER"... Therefore TODAY I AM NOT A HOPLESS DRUNK! THANKS, KEEP COMING BACK.
Member: RookieA
Location: Eastern PA
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 3:31:02 PM
I'm learning through therapy that a major cause of my anxiety and depression is my alcohol abuse, through the problems it has caused. The irony is the medication (paxil) which takes away my anxiety, also makes me more sociable, which makes me more prone to drink socially with strangers in a bar instead of by myself. This disease seems to have snuck up on me quickly, though I suspect alcoholism has been with me for a decade. Last week I had four days of sobriety after what i'm guessing is three straight years of drinking at least one a day, though up six or seven a day now. The four days was painful. This week I had three days sober, and it was a little easier. Each time I fell off the wagon, though not as hard this week. I'm beginning to think I'll be able to control myself (though i don't really want to) and perhaps be as thankful for sobering up as many of you are. Thanks for this site. I'll be checking back all week long.
Member: Heather
Location: vancouver
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 3:58:43 PM
Hi Everyone,
I was reading Justification's poem and had some thoughts. Many alcoholics suffer with depression and self medicate to ease the pain with alcohol. Antidepressants are NOT addictive and can be a lifesaver. Depression is not an excuse it is a medical problem. Being able to stay sober is much easier when you don't have to suffer with a serious depression at the same time.
Member: Graham M.
Location: Canberra, Australia
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 6:08:16 PM
Rookie A. writes of booze and pills and 'treatment' and depression and anxiety and says:
"I'm beginning to think I'll be able to control myself (though i don't really want to) and perhaps be as thankful for sobering up as many of you are."
I hope all goes well for you, Rookie.
How well I remember my early days (30+ years ago now) of booze and anxiety and depression and 'treatment' (usually with psych pills) plus perhaps some shock-treatment, a bit of group therapy in a clinic here and there, playing some basketball (in a locked psych ward), maybe a little basket-weaving, a little 'rat-ward romance' here and there, etc...
But there were other influences back then (apart from general mental ill-thrift aided and abetted by heavy drinking) that were complicating my life and clouding my judgement.
These influences included being unemployed and unemployable (except for the drabbest of menial jobs), being divorced (guess why), being without any friends, having sex (or rather the lack of it) playing on my mind most days (plus the *guilt* from being either 'sucessful' or 'unsuccessful' the previous night), plus living (when I was not in 'clinics' and psych wards) in a tiny $5 a week room in the slums of Melbourne, and, of course, being badly *BROKE*!
With all of that chaotic stuff (plus the consequences of my 'official' and 'unofficial' medication swirling around inside my brain-box) it was can sometimes be a bit hard to successfully plan your next valid move.
That is a tragic 'state of mind' that is not uncommon among many new-to-AA alkies - and you may be experiencing a very similar state of turmoil and confusion too perhaps Rookie?
Next (of course) came my attempted 'Geographic' cures (many alkies try these out too):
"Perth - you've been most unkind and uncaring towards me and I'm a most sensitive person. Melbourne - it's now *YOUR* turn to shape up and make Graham a happy and fulfilled man! TAXI! Take me out to the airport!"
I'll cut to the chase on this:
I got nowhere in AA (or out of it) until one day it dawned on me: "AA is *not* about giving up drinking! AA is *not* about 'Gloom, Doom, Ginger-ale and Jesus!"
"AA is all about getting so busy doing all the things we need to do to *LIVE* sober - busy getting to daily meetings (sometimes 2 or 3 meetings a day on weekends in my early sobriety when 'temptation' was the greatest to enter pubs, clubs and dives), busy yapping our heads off over coffee in near-meeting coffee-houses until 2 or 3 am, busy doing inventories and making amends (to get rid of guilt and remorse), busy discussing painful and tricky stuff (like sex) with an AA Sponsor, busy getting a job (or a better job), busy getting a room (or a small flat), busy getting a bit fit, busy seeing about those legal and marriage tangles, etc - plus getting up each morning and asking a HP for a hand to get through today sane and sober...
... now the by-prouduct of all that frantic AA *ACTIVITY* is that you simply do not have the time to think about doing any drinking - and no left-over cash or energy to do any drinking anyway - cos by bedtime you're totally pooped!
That's the secret: AA is *NOT* about giving up drinking, cos, if you can successfully impose non-drinking on yourself (by sitting still in a lonely room and grunting and puffing and straining), you're probably not an alcoholic!
AA is all about keeping busy with heaps of *POSITIVE* stuff - and the by-product of all those frantic actions is... you don't drink!
I found I could not bolt sobriety on to a drinking life-style! AA is a not bolt-on job - it's a trade-in job! That's AA's secret!
A day at a time, I needed to 'let go' (not of drinking) but of my drinking *life-style* 100% - and take on the AA 'life-style 100% - and the by-product of that decision and of all the *actions* I undertook to implement that decision was...
... I found I was not drinking!
I did not 'make' myself not drink - I *FOUND* I was not drinking as a consequence os living sober. I also 'found' I was a lot happier!
But I could not come at it directly - simply by not drinking (and not pilling) cos that process involves a double-negative - the negative of *NOT and the negative of *DRINKING*.
BUT when I turned it around, and filled my days and nights with *POSITIVE* 'living sober' stuff (especially by haunting AA meetings instead of haunting pubs, clubs and dives)... *VOILA*!!
I had found the magic AA 'Elixir of Life' that I had previous so miserably failed to find in the bottom of booze or pill bottle and in sleazy party-time sex!
And once having found and experienced the magic AA 'Elixir of Life' I've never looked back - not ever - except to share with others (who may be a bit confused) about the Big AA Secret:
AA is not a 'bolt-on' (to a drinking or pilling lifestyle)! AA is a 'trade-in' job (in the life-style department). Then and only then will it work!
Best wishes,
Graham M.
Member: Vicki S.
Location: SW Ohio
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 7:03:48 PM
I am new in recovery. I have only been sober for a few weeks now. I find AA meetings very intimidating. I feel uncomfortable. Is there a way to get over this?
Member: chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 7:41:38 PM
Hi, I'm chris alcoholic/addict/bulimic...one of the biggest changes I have received from the sober life is hope. Iwas so stuck in my addictions and life that I didn't think that anything could change. Now, I know that from the help of my Higher Power, who I call God...not Only can I change, but also my life can change...when I come up against a hopeless situation,of which I often have many, I now know that if I can turn it over to my H.P., He can either change me or change the situation. Mainly HE changes me. It brings me so much more serinity than I have ever had, and I am eternally greatful to the program of A.A. for this thing called hope.
Member: Terri H.
Location: Florida
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 8:20:59 PM
Hi, Terri H., alcoholic.
My life has not changed yet, as I am not yet sober. I go in to treatment on Monday for detox. I will be doing it outpatient.
I was highly dissapointed by this site and the coffee pot area. I went in there, so as not to stray too far from the topic, I am a good girl, I follow rules. And yet no one would talk to me and answer my questions. Seems like a little clique.
Anyway, I want to be able to come in here some day and tell you how my life has changed, because at last I am sober! I appreciate the stories of how this has changed all of you. It gives me hope.
Anyway, if anyone is interested in helping me, I would like to talk to people who went through detox on an outpatient basis. I posted in the coffe pot area about this. I don't know what to expect, and I am afraid.
I am so glad being sober has changed all of your lives for the better. I am hoping it will change mine. I would appreciate any help I can get in busting out of my cocoon and becoming a butterfly again.
Member: Steve K
Location: Swan Lake,N.Y.
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 8:46:37 PM
Steve alcoholic. Vicki I felt the same way when I first went to a meeting. Keep going to meetings and you will hear people that have had the exact proplems that you have had and it will get more comfortable for you. You will say to yourself I did the same stupid thing that guy did. Then youwill know your in the right place, and feel more comfort, We are all here for the same reason. Good luck stay sober and talk to your HIGHER POWER for your needs.
Member: Mary Louise
Location: Indiana
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 10:20:04 PM
I am, as I am every day, very grateful to be a sober and recovering alcoholic.
Just had to comment on Graham's last post....RIGHT ON!!! I have never heard anyone put it so well....thank you.
To try and explain the miracles that happen in AA sometimes seems so trite.....but the miracles HAPPEN....again and again. To you newcomers, please, please don't quit before those first little miracles start to happen.
There is a line in a meditation book I read that talks about the process of coming to believe....and that it involves my willingness to recognize miracles for what they are.
Open mind is necessary for that process to begin, and then it is a never-ending cascade of change and growth always contingent on my open-mindedness and my willingness to not pick up that first drink or drug.
This is a good way to live.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Henderson/LV,NV
Date: 11/3/2001
Time: 11:40:18 PM
Hi all, my name is Dan and I'm an alcoholic. I am truly amazed I am sober today. I'd have to say the biggest change in my lifestyle would be my continued faith in my HP and the realization that the spirit of god manifests' himself within my heart and soul. Other than that, I'm employable today, I'm surrounded by love and I'm capable of giving and receiving it. I'm the problem, I choose to live in the solution. For me that's trusting god, (1-3) cleaning house (4-11) and helping others (12). That's where the true freedom from myself is attained. KEEP IT SIMPLE and God Bless all :-))
Member: Mark W.
Location: near the BIG croquet wicket
Date: 11/4/2001
Time: 9:11:31 AM
Funny how the topic gets picked here. The first TWO above could be considered the same topic, and I did consider them such.
The difference in life is an attitude adjustment that allows me to stay stopped.
The result of this attitude adjustment changes every little thing in life. Bad things still happen. Good things still happen. The difference is that I get to FEEL each and am no longer scared of doing so.
Often we hear someone at a meeting announce themselves as a grateful, recovering, alcoholic. I don't often announce that way, but I am very grateful today.
Mark W. LMW007aol.com