Member: sunny s
Location: New Bedford, Ma
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 2:28:19 PM

Comments

When was the compulsion and obsession to drink lifted from you?


Member: jenny s
Location:
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 3:00:47 PM

Comments

any one there


Member: jen s
Location:
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 3:02:08 PM

Comments

hello


Member: joe h
Location: PA
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 3:14:15 PM

Comments

The last day I drank at my stepfather's mother's 100th birthday bash. A bunch of little embarrassing conversations and overheard stories involving me directly or indirectly had me ready to dig a hole to hide-in. Realised that the only way to not fuel these things in the future was to stop supplying the theatrics. Actually it was a long time coming but that was the straw that broke the camels back. I did not get drunk that day , so I guess that was my moment of clarity. That was 7/11/99 and don't recall now, having any major problems sticking with the decission. I do however catch myself thinking "maybe I'm not alcoholic" but when I think it through I know that it's just as many here say the desease trying to get me back active, or words to that effect. Sunny, thanks for the topic and for letting me share.


Member: Graham M.
Location: Canberra, OZ
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 3:47:54 PM

Comments

Dear Alkies Everywhere,

It does me good occasionally to let my mind drift back, back, back - back to the 'bad old days' (of 30+ years ago) when I was in the deadly 'grip of the grape' and did not know it.

I had been going along to AA meetings cos everything had gone from my tragic, tragic life and there was just an off-chance that those AA CLOWNS may have some kind of 'answer' to what seemed so agonisingly wrong with my life.

And there was heaps 'wrong' - Oh Yes! But booze seemed to figure only as a tiny 'influence' among all other stuff that had gone so wrong - stuff that was pressing in on my mind and obsessing and freaking me out of my mind: the the loss of job, wife, purpose, cash, cars, status and, above all, all the loss of all *FUN* from my life!

I was not a happy camper!

So I was 'trudging' along joylessly and mechanically to the occasional AA meeting - but not with any hope of anything good happenning.

It was simply a case of: "What the shit - there's nothing much else on tonight - nothing that I can afford anyway - and AA is free...".

And it was in that sort o mood (and cos I was running late as usual) that I caught a taxi the short distance to an AA meeting back in Melbourne (Australia) in about 1970 from my tiny, lonely $5 a week room.

I had been dry for a few days or weeks and I was feeling awfully 'uptight' - so hailed a taxi and headed off for a Friday evening meeting in the Malvern Town Hall.

But I was just so 'up-tight' and 'pent-up' that I felt like a Tiapan Snake - coiled and about ready to strike - which such bad 'vibes' the poor taxi-driver 'cottoned on to' real fast - and so he drove there - real fast!

I had jumped into the front seat alongside him - but instead of complaining he cringed over to his side of the seat - and drove like a bat out of hell.

I'm quite sure he would have been glad to get shot of me - pronto - without asking for any fare - none at all - so great was the inner struggle between my alcoholism (which trying to pull me down to the pub to 'ease it all') and a 'survival' instinct that drawing me onwards towards that AA meeting!

But (tense and all) I mooched into the meeting and silently got a cuppa and stood - all by myself - giving off silent waves of:

"The First Bastard That Looks At Me Sideways or Funny - So Help Me I'll, I'll..."

But no-one did 'look at me' - much less look at me 'sideways' or 'funny'!

All that DID happen was an older member - a 'stranger' - he came right over to me (uninvited) gave me a little (Dr Bob-style) 'pat on the back' and smiled. He said something along the lines of: "It's good that you could make it to the meeting tonight, Mate. Pease keep coming back!"

Then he was off to mingle elsewhere as the meeting got under way!

As the meeting got under way, I sat down in the back row and then (half-way through the meeting) something happenned which I can only describe as:

"It... let go of... me!"

It was a vivid and life-changing experience which has NEVER left me - not ever - not through all the thicks and thins and ups and downs of 30+ years in AA!

That 'experience' was just so liberating and revealing!

Revealing - of what?

Up until that 'turning point' (in my downhill life) I had not know that anything - Alcoholism', 'Tension', 'Madness' (call it what you will) had a vice-like GRIP upon me in the first place.

Very few of us do - know the true nature of alcoholism (or of any other obsession) not until it 'lets go' of us - only *THEN* do we know - that something (our 'IT') had a grip on us!

That 'IT' is something I now call 'Alcoholism'.

And that anonymous AA stranger all those years ago - he was not afraid of my 'vibes' (or of my 'IT') in the least little bit. He thus somehow allowed me not to be afraid of my 'It' either - no matter how vicious my 'It' might feel.

Thus I intuited that I could trust a 'Something Else' too just enough to go 'off guard' and 'lower my defences' a bit - and listen!

Cos AA was not afraid of me (or of my 'It') so why should I be afraid of 'It' (or me) either?

One of my favourite AA drawings is in 'The 12 Traditions Illustrated' - the drawing where two smiling alkies are pushing a saucer of milk at this Huge Great Big Striped Tiger!

'Phew!' Thank God for that!

You guys know how to cope with Grahams! (vbg!)

But back now to the Malvern Town Hall in 1970 - I was in the right place then too (just as I am today in any AA meeting) so just maybe I could relax... just a little bit!

And without me willing anything to happen, I was able to begin to relax just enough for some tiny streaks of 'illumination' to come flooding into my tired, sick alky mind. I intuited that maybe these AA 'Clowns' may be 'on to something' - and I wanted some of their 'It' (or HP) far more than my grotty old 'It'!

And that tiny glimmer of AA hope has proven to be true! We are 'on to something' - aren't we! And it works! "Wheeeeeeeeeeee!" (vbg!)

Provided we do 'certain things' - and provided we keep on doing them through all the thicks and thins - and through all the ups and downs - come Taliban or come no Taliban!

On a daily, daily, daily basis!

Best wishes,

Graham M.


Member: KevinB
Location: FL
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:00:06 PM

Comments

Hello, everyone. My name is Kevin, and I am an alcoholic. This is my second day of getting acquainted with this FACT. While I have not had a dring since September 27, I have been reading through the Big Book and seeing a lot of myself within the pages. Even though I have not had a drink in almost a onth, I am not sure that the compulsion has been lifted. I do not want a drink, nor do I miss it. But I do know that it is there, just waiting for me. It is my sincere hope that I will learn from this program, will live with this program, and will gain from this program. I hope that I too, some day, will be able to say that I am a Recovering Alcoholic with xx years of sobriety. With the help of this program, I hope to make my efforts a success one day at a time.

Thanks for listening.


Member: Glen W
Location:
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:27:39 PM

Comments

before I g


Member: Glen W
Location:
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:28:13 PM

Comments

before I go any further is anyone on-line?


Member: GeoffS
Location: WalesUK
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:42:20 PM

Comments

Hello all good topic - one i,ve not really thought about in the past 13 years and 11 months since 14 nov 87.

My final binge of 2 bottles of scotch and 100 pills was meant to be my last, and iwas kind of calm as i moved towards oblivion. HP had other ideas and i came round in a police car throwing it all up. 4 days later in treatment for 90 meetings inn 90 days.

I realise now that i lost all compulsion to drink on that night, and because i decided to go into treatment that was about 90% of succeeding. TreaTMENT TOLD ME THE OTHER 9% and the other 1% is being learned each day. Last week i neede a meeting because a thought of booze got stuck in my mind after a scare about having a cancerous growth biopsy. Even after 14 yrs I'm only one drink away from oblivion, but a lot of time 'in the bank of sobriety'.

Love to u all and hp be with you.


Member: Connie C.
Location: Northern California
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:48:23 PM

Comments

Before I went to my first AA meeting, I couldn't imagine not wanting to drink, but I did want to know if there was a way out of the hell I lived in. By the end of the meeting, I no longer wanted to drink. I stayed sober for 17 years, but I stopped attending meetings and eventually forgot everything I had learned from AA. I drank again and the compulsion returned. I'm sober once more thanks to a power greater than myself and the people in AA and have not been compelled to drink alcohol for six months. I know the compulsion can return at any time when I slack off on the principles of this deal.


Member: Sue W
Location: NC
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 5:56:47 PM

Comments

Hi! I'm Sue and I'm an alcoholic. My sobriety date is 12/14/1999. Been having a really hard time lately with depression and wanting to isolate. For the past couple of days my addiction has been all over me. I've found myself contemplating a drink. Went to two meetings yesterday and two already today. Will try to hit an evening meeting in a little while. I know that this program has taught me to put my sobriety first, play the tape all the way back, call my sponsor, etc., but damn that's hard when depression and alcoholism are running rampant through my body and mind. I know that it is all fear based and I know exactly where it came from. Being the good alcoholic that I am, I feel like I am paralyzed by fear, anger and resentment. Luckily, I want to stay sober today more than I want to get drunk and just for TODAY, it is literally one minute at a time and I need to lean on my HP, AA and my sponsor. Thanks a bunch for letting me share. This is the first time I've been on this site. I've been surfing the web on and off all day, getting as much good recovery experience, strength and hope as I can. Thanks to everyone who shared before me! :0)


Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 7:44:52 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, "when was the compulsion and obsession to drink lifted from us". I first lost the complusion to drink in July 1989, and I turned around and the obsession of a sicker self drank again in May of 1993. I thank God that I found my way back to the program of AA in October of 1993. I asked God to please help me never to want another drink, I wanted the desire to drink removed so badly. I struggled with the temptation to drink, but I made meetings and I talked with my sponsor and friends from the AA program as often as I could. I prayed for God to give me a very good reason for me to never drink again, and He answered my prayer. God gave me grandchildren, and I never want them to see me as their parents did. Today I still feel eat up inside at times, but this program has shown me a better way to live. I don't have to drink anymore over the problems of my day, I continue to pray for guidance, the strength and willingness to do His will and not mine. I know all too well the depression that comes with alcoholism, but remember, you are not alone. My only advice to those who are suffering with the depression, visit your doctor and follow his advice. My first home group in another town, had 3 doctors in it, they are there to help you, but you must tell them you are an alcoholic in order to get the proper help. My prayers will include the new and old members of our program who are still suffering this battle. Thanks for the topic and thanks for being here for another day, may God bless.


Member: TINA W.
Location: ORLANDO
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 8:43:35 PM

Comments

THE LAST TIME I DRANK WAS TWO WEEKS AGO. I HAVE BEEN AROUND AA FOR 10 YEARS NOW, ALMOST 11 YEARS. I WAS SOBER 3 YEARS, OUT 5 YEARS, SOBER 1 YEAR, 6 MONTHS, 8 MONTHS, NOW TWO WEEKS SOBER. SOMETIMES I FEEL AS IF I JUST DON'T GET IT. THESE ROAD TRIPS ARE VERY DISCOURAGING FOR ME. I DON'T WANT TO DRINK BUT I DON'T PICK UP THE TELEPHONE AND CALL ANYONE. I FEEL LIKE I AM JUST ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO IS CONSTITUTIONALY INCAPABLE OF CRASPING A PROGRAM THAT REQUIRES RIGOROUS HONESTY. I LIKE MYSELF SOBER AND I LIKE LIFE WHEN I AM SOBER. BUT LET SOMETHING HAPPEN IN LIFE THAT DOES NOT SUITE ME AND THERE I GO AGAIN. I GUESS THAT I THINK THAT LIFE IS SUPPOSE TO BE PERFECT WHEN I AM SOBER. I AM GLAD THAT I AM WRITING THIS RIGHT NOW. I REALLY NEEDED TO HEAR MYSELF SAY THAT. MAYBE THAT IS MY ANSWER. I GIVE UP TOO SOON BEFORE THE MIRACLE HAPPENS.


Member: Mick L.
Location: Wales Uk
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 9:05:24 PM

Comments

Hiya all, an alcoholic, there I was not able to sleep and going through ' How It Works 'fastidiously, seeing what I might be missing out,thought I'd visit here instead of the Coffee Pot.

Jen&Sunny,thanks for the 'topic'When was the compulsion & obsesssion to drink 1st. lifted ?

I know that I drank heavily,daily for about 15 or 16 yrs.before I noticed badly enough to admit it and do something about it.To answer the question,after about 3mths. or so I would say. Though that old chestnut'once an Alkie always an alkie'as attested above and proven again here,the compulsion and obsession which is a part of alcoholism never seems to leave us.

So, we are all 'chronic' alcoholics,we've got it for life,One Day At A Time and sobriety is good to me.

I thank all of you above for your words,thankyou.

Peace

Mick


Member: Mick L.
Location: Wales Uk
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 9:05:56 PM

Comments

Hiya all, an alcoholic, there I was not able to sleep and going through ' How It Works 'fastidiously, seeing what I might be missing out,thought I'd visit here instead of the Coffee Pot.

Jen&Sunny,thanks for the 'topic'When was the compulsion & obsesssion to drink 1st. lifted ?

I know that I drank heavily,daily for about 15 or 16 yrs.before I noticed badly enough to admit it and do something about it.To answer the question,after about 3mths. or so I would say. Though that old chestnut'once an Alkie always an alkie'as attested above and proven again here,the compulsion and obsession which is a part of alcoholism never seems to leave us.

So, we are all 'chronic' alcoholics,we've got it for life,One Day At A Time and sobriety is good to me.

I thank all of you above for your words,thankyou.

Peace

Mick


Member: RHONDA. k.
Location: dERRY, n.h.
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 9:56:43 PM

Comments

Hi I'm an alcoholic and my name is Rhonda. I thnik that this is a good topic because it really seems to be the key for sobriety for me. My dos is ll/l/99. After being sober 4 days and going to two meetings, the women who was my temporary sponsor told me to go home get on my knee and ask my HP to remove the obsession for alcohol. I did that and my HP did remove it. Of course the thought of a drink wasn't as easy. But the addiction part. I do ask every day for God to keep my away from a drink. With the grace of God I'll keep doing what I've been doing, THIS PROGRAM WORKS. tHANKS FOR EVERYONES POSTINGS,.


Member: Anita S.
Location: Federal Way, WA
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 11:21:48 PM

Comments

I'm not sure or how the obsession to drink was lifted, but I do remember the moment that I realized it was lifted. After I got sober, in order to get home from school, I had to drive right by "my bar." The New Knights was at an intersection, with a 4-way light. Two blocks away I would start chanting, "green light, green light, please god, give me a green light!" I didn't think I could keep going if it was a red light, I was afraid that I would turn into the bar if I had to stop!!! If it was a red light, I had to look the other way and chant "green light, green light, give me a green light." When the light turned green, I would take off as fast as my '76 VW Bug would go. That also was my only concious contact with God at that point "God, give me a green light." Then, after 6+ months of being sober, I was driving home, singing along to the radio, stopped at a red light, and looked over. There was the New Knights. I looked back at the light, and it hit me. I wasn't praying for a green light!!!! I didn't want a drink!!! As I sat and thought about it, I realized that it had been a couple of weeks since I had prayed for a green light.

So, the obsession to drink was lifted for me when I didn't quit before the miracle happened, prayed to my higher power whenever I got the obsession, and went to meetings. It works, if you work it.

Thank you for letting me share.


Member: RickT
Location: Rocky Mountains
Date: 10/21/2001
Time: 11:45:27 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Rick and I'm a drunk. Compultion and obsession,the twin pillars of my foundation. I know them well! I can tell you the exact moment the C&O to drink and use left me,though at the time there was so much noise in my head I didnt realize it. It was after 4 rehabs,several DUI's and several years of knowing AA was the answer but still being unable to enter these rooms omn my own. If nothing else the rehabs let me know AA existed. I was everything I said I would never become, I had been discusted with myself for years but by this time I was unable to hide it anymore. I hadnt had a drink in 5 months, after a perticularly embarrasing night at my brothers house (one of the few times I could remember what I did,thank God!)the term "white knukles" comes to mind. I was at the end of my rope. I was basically living off of my brother. I as slouched on the couch watching TV,just flicking thru the channels at light speed when the remote stopped on some Christian program,I was appalled,the last thing I wanted to hear was some goody twoshoes tell me I was going to hell. For some strange unknowable reson I left it on that channel. I have no idea what they said,but I think at that point all I had to hear was "GOD" and that was all she wrote. I started to cry sitting there infront of that TV,all that pain all that anger,all that fustration about the waste my life had become came spewing out like a volcano. I grew up in a religious home so I knew there was a God but to me he was the God of hypocrocy,I wanted nothing to do with him. But at that moment I looked up and feeling very exhausted and defeated I said," God,I'll do anything,I just cant do this anymore". This is where some of you will think I'm wacko, but I heard a calm soothing voice say,"go to AA'.My God is a God of few words and lots of love. That day I went to an AA meeting and I havent looked back. It was almost a year before I realized that I no longer had the compultion or the obsession to drink.It was a year full of meetings and the steps.I have to tell you that I wasnt "born again" that day. I spent 6 more years in AA before all that I had learned lead me to an understanding of my God. But that was last weeks meeting! I was one of the blessed ones the C&O has been lifted from me,thats not to say I dont think about drinking or using,I'm just not compelled to do it or obsessed with it. God is good! Thanks for being here.


Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 12:14:37 AM

Comments

Adam, alcoholic.

WOW! What a cool topic!!!

You know, the interesting thing for me is that the obsession to drink was not lifted right out of me in my first few weeks or months. It was lifted out of me without my knowing it. It was hard for me to imagine life without alcohol at the age of 21--even though I knew they way I was drinking was killing me. It was litterally like being caught between a rock and a hard place...and all I can say is that I'm grateful that I was in that awkward positin when I came to Alcoholics Anonymous. I had seen AA work when my mother got sober, and I was willing to accept AA's solution. The people who guided and sponsored me got me very active in step work and in service, and while I was busy doing that, very small pieces of the idea that drinking was a good idea SLOWLY began to disappear without my knowing it. When exactly was the obsession lifted from me? I don' know WHEN, but I do know HOW. AA picked my pocket like a theif in the night while I was working with my sponsor and getting into service...and for that I am very grateful.

God bless.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 12:34:16 AM

Comments

Hi, all! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!

I liked what Connie C. Had to say about having the obsession lifted. I believe that this is really a one day at a time thing. There are no guarantees to sobriety in AA, except under a specific set of circumstances, including being open to the grace of a Higher Power.

Sue, don't give up before the miracle! Stick with it.


Member: Les M.
Location: San Diego
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 1:15:19 AM

Comments

When I began to make amends to those individuals and institutions listed while doing my eighth step I began to practice step ten. Sometime before I was "half way through" step nine I gradually began to notice a large change in the way I viewed life and the way I felt. One of the changes that became very apparent was that alcohol seemed to no longer have a hold on my mind. Length of sobriety was not a factor. There were other alcoholics around me who had both more and less time sober who were still obsessing about booze. This leads me to believe that taking the steps as outlined in the Big Book will result in the promises as described in the Big Book. One of those wonderful promeses is that our desire to drink will come into equalibrium with our desire to stay sober. "We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame." This has happened to me and is one of the things I must thank God for every day. Something I've not been doing lately. So, Sunny S. thank you so much for the subject, and thank you all for sharing.

Don't forget to carry the bum.


Member: brad h.
Location: concord,nc
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 6:08:39 AM

Comments

hey everybody brad alcoholic.this is a great topic.for me the 'pshcic change'came very unexpectedly like i've heard others say.i was 28 headed for an assesment for more out patient treatment[first time was at 15 yrs]so iwalk inthe counselers office planning to b.s. my way through it,go home,and finish the fifth i started.plans seemed to change when i saw that she was the same counseler from 15yrs of age, just a different town.all b.s. went out the window.god did for me what i could not do for myself.istayed in her office for a couple of hours and got honest with myself and another huan being like never before.i left her office,went home,poured out the rest of the fifth,and regardless of what i had planned the journey started.three and a half years and one divorce later,by the grace of god and the fellowship he gives us i have not been obsessed with the thought of a drink. thanks for being here, there, and everywhere.i love you.


Member: Josh E.
Location: Pennsburg, PA, USA
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 9:47:32 AM

Comments

Hi family. My name is Josh and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is July 12, 2000. I have a sponsor and a home group. I once heard someone say that these are the things I need to have to be a member in good standing in the rooms of AA. Thanks to everyone who shared before me. For me, the obsession was lifted the instant I learned how to be willing to accept God's grace for me. I learned that in AA. My Higher Power, whom I chose to call God, had His grace extended to me throughout my alcoholic tenure, but my ego wouldn't allow me to simply reach out and take it. When I got sober, my sponsor stressed two things to me above all else: this is a program of ego deflation and it is a spiritual program. The obsession did NOT leave me when I walked into the rooms, however. I first entered AA through the insistence of parents, school officials, etc. after a stint in rehab. I, however, was still in control. I didn't want to hear anything about a Higher Power. In two months, I drank. I went out for another nine months of pure and literal hell. Everything AA told me I proved true for myself: a drug is a drug is a drug; it gets worse each time out; and the detox is worse each time. I stumbled back into the rooms days before a court hearing. I had hit bottom at the ripe old age of 22. I was tormented by the obsession. Fortunately, my God placed a number of people and situations in my life which gave me added incentive not to pick up. And I went to meetings and got a sponsor right away, something I hadn't done in my previous stint. I started going to three, four, even five meetings a day when I wasn't working. And I started to work the steps with my sponsor. We spent a long, LONG time on 2 and 3. Finally, I decided to give prayer (and God) a shot. What did I have to lose? I had two months of white-knuckled sobriety (or dry time). So I tried getting on me knees (not an easy proposition for an egomaniac). I put my shoes under my bed at night and hit my knees each morning and night, minus a real belief. I did it because I was told it would work and I had proved AA right many times before. By my 3 month anniversary, I realized that the obsession was gone. I had a job I loved. Life was getting back on track. Suddenly, I realized I didn't crave a drink. And I realized I had found God. I struggled and struggled with the idea that God would actually make things that simple. I thought I had to do some dances and incantations or something to that effect. Not so. It was really simple. I hit my knees and prayed to something and I didn't drink a day at a time. I waited for the miracle -- and it happened. I am so grateful to everyone in this room. Please don't leave 5 minutes before the miracle happens. I know it happened to me. Love, Josh. P.S. This is my first time on here and I was so encouraged to see some members from Wales chime in. Even though I'm an American, I'm a son of Wales and it's comforting to know that I'm right where I belong...lol.


Member: Emily H.
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 1:20:34 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Emily, and I'm an alcoholic. I'm pretty new to AA, my DOS is 8/26/01. I had been struggling with step 1 for years. Knowing, but not accepting. So on to the subject. I have been introducing friends to the sober-Emily as of recent. This is how my compulsion and obsession to drink has been beginning to lift. Some of my friends are not happy with my decision. Well, along with sobriety, AA has brought me self-respect. A LOT of it!! I can't believe how good I feel about myself. With that, I have the strength to leave a situation when I'm feeling uncomfortable...this used to be the driving force of my alcoholism. And I've become quite selfish. I'm a darn good person, and I deserve darn good friends. And someone who does not see the sober-Emily as a good change can just leave. I am quite passionate about this. I think that's pretty much all I have to say. :) (Just got back from a meeting anyways, so I think I'm all talked out.) Until next time... And prayers to you all. :)


Member: Mark B
Location: Middle East
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 1:36:39 PM

Comments

Mark, alcoholic. God lifted the obsession to drink when I was ready, and humbly asked him to remove it from me. Right now, I'm deployed to a classified location along with a few hundred others and I'm isolated from the fellowship of AA. This, for the next few foreseeable months is my link with fellow recovering members. Although I'm in an area where drinking is forebidden by the host country's religeous beliefs, the insanity that accompanies the drinking starts to rear it's ugly head if I let up on working the program. One tennant of that is for me is regular meeting attendance. That isn't an option for me now. So I have to redouble my efforts into other areas of the program. This ain't easy, and I've done it before. I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I know everything will be in order in God's world. All I have to do is the simple stuff. The footwork. Take care and trudge the road.

Mark


Member: Rich R
Location: detroit
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 1:58:41 PM

Comments

I would say 12/12/90 (about 12:12am). After that last drink (and with the help of AA and HP) I can honesty say I haven't had even the thought of taking another drink. Thanks.


Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 2:46:20 PM

Comments

Lessa here, very grateful recovering alcoholic.

(((Mark B))) God Bless you and keep you. Prayers are with you.

This is my second trip through the program. My first time through, the compulsion left as soon as I worked Step 1. My sobriety wasn't much work on my part. So, of course, I took credit for my recovery. And, several years later, I drank again.

This time, the compulsion stayed with me for some time. And I can't tell you when EXACTLY it left. I would get urges to drink at really weird times. I white knuckled alot of situations. I honestly wondered if this was my punishment for going back out there. And I questioned if I'd ever 'get it'.

I shared this at one of my weekly meetings. I was convinced I must not be working the program hard enough since things were tough and I felt like drinking alot. I was told, "there's a time for working the program, and a time for letting the program work for you." Once I let that sink in, and kept 'coming to believe' as is stated in Step Two, (and this took me awhile), I had the faith to get on my knees and ask, with confidence for that compulsion to be removed.

Like I said, I can't tell you the exact moment - there was no flash of lightning or even intuition - but it's surely been gone since then. (Oh yeah, on a hundred degree day in the summer the cold beer on the poster in the liquor store I was walking by looked awfully good, but I didn't feel remotely like drinking one.)

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Noel  E.
Location: Lampe  Mo.
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 5:11:47 PM

Comments

Hi everyone! my name is Noel E. I'm an alcoholic and addict. Great topic! For me it was a little over 10yr's ago. I'm 29 and today life in A.A. is pretty good. I got sober when I was 19 I can't remember when the obssesion lifted me. But I do remember that last drunk like it was yesterday. I still have a thought of drinking from time to time but that reminds me that I'm still an alcoholic. I guess normal people do not think about drinking like we do! For me I guess after alot of prayer and getting involved in A.A. in early sobriety and still into service work I've been so busy that I really can't tell you when the obssesion left me. It just did,no bright lights or burnining bushes, or even deep spiritual thing. It just left over a period of time. All I know for sure is that A.A. has been the best thing that has ever happened to me. Thanks for the great topic.


Member: PATRICIA
Location: NEW  YORK
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 6:26:40 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, My Name is Patricia and I am a recovering alcoholic. Thanks Sunny S. and Jen S for an excellent topic. The obsession for me to stop drinking took a very long and hard road in AA. I was totally addicted to alcohol. I drank every day of my life for at least 20 years. As soon as I made up my mind that I wanted to live a sober life, I chased after every possible meeting that I could Make. I Humbly asked my HP to please remove the obsession to drink. In time, after making meetings, sharing completely honestly about my disease, and SURRENDERING TO THE FIRST STEP, did I finally decide that Living Sober is so much easier than living drunk and suffering all the horrible consequences. ThANKS TO EVERYONE WHO SHARED AT THIS MEETING. YOU ARE KEEPING ME SOBER ANOTHER DAY!


Member: Ed G.
Location: S. Dak. dos2-14-82
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 8:29:41 PM

Comments

Hello Everyone, my name is Ed and Im an alcoholic. Glad to read so many comments about this terrific topic. I have to admit that the obsession and compulsion to drink did not leave quickly or easily.

Complete surrender. For me this was also the turning point. Until I was able to completely surrender and admit that I was an alcoholic and that my life was completely unmanageable, I could not find any peace in my life. When I experienced a little peace in my life the obsession and compulsion to drink also left.

After surrendering, I also found myself to be much more "teachable". By going to meetings, and getting a sponsor I began to work the steps, and I began to do some of the things that are suggested in this program. And you know, if I just try to do some of these things on a daily basis life is pretty darn good.

Thanks for letting me share.

P.S. Mark B. Feel free to contact me at alky57001@hotmail.com if you want. Always enjoy talking with another drunk.


Member: Jen S
Location: CT
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 8:43:14 PM

Comments

I'm new, been working the program to the best of my ability, but still have the desire to drink... I have been sober 7months, any suggestions-


Member: @nonymous
Location: Where it went~
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 10:10:33 PM

Comments

..When, was the compulsion or obsession to drink lifted from me?..The obsession, sorta went by the way side; I don't know if, it was lifted or dropped, or left behind, or what not, But, Whence I took up the cross, I had not time to much consider the matter! I began, "To act justly love mercy, and walk humbly with the Lord my God," I left all behind and set out on foot! If a beer came my way, I would not shun to accept, but in my poverty, I had to be about it, that is being or becoming an exile, and a stranger here, and, In this process of what's called overcoming the world according to the scriptures by the spirit thereof, I had to look back to see my drinking days! even as part of a past life were those days then to me; I became a new creation, One that neither gave two hoots about sobriety, Or not! Even now, after so long a time in the program, I see AA. as an outpouring of what mannor of godly man I was to become: A man of God, Rather than a drunkard; even an ungodly drunkard, I don't see AA. or, AA's all or nothing approach to sobriety as it is taught nowadays as the root of what, or who, I was to become, But rather a leaf, or a part of the True Vine, and, that vine, the True Vine, Is Jesus....


Member: Anne T
Location: British Columbia, Canada
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 10:18:20 PM

Comments

Hi! My name's Anne and I am an alcoholic. Thank all of you for sharing. I have recently moved to another Province in Canada and didn't bring my old car with my - I'm too nervous to drive in a busy city. I telephoned Central Office and got the name of a young guy to take me to meetings but it hasn't been working out so good - I've only been to two meetings and before I moved I went to at least two a week in a rural District in Alberta. Haven't been to this site in quite a long time but felt I needed a "meeting" now. I have no compulsion to drink, but without my regular meetings I feel edgy and nervous some days. The compulsion left me as soon as I made up my mind to hand my life over to the care of God as I understand him. My prayers each morning always ask Him to take care of my Alcohol problem because I cannot do it alone. And I always give thanks at night for him keeping me sober, as well as the many blessings I have been receiving. I have a hip problem and can only walk a couple of blocks at most so I have to phone Central Office again to find a volunteer driver to cart me to more meetings. I am sure Jen S that if you can do those first three steps sincerely and let go and let God your desire for drink would disappear. The turning point for me was when I shouted out in my house "God help me, because I can't." Within a very short time circumstances conspired to lead me into AA and I've never had a serious desire to drink since the first week in AA. On the day of my first meeting I had been scrounging around the house looking for empty bottles with a drain of booze in them. This, after I had told my doctor and my daughter that I would go to AA. But I hadn't made the telephone call then. Once I did, and with my temporary sponsor went to AA meetings every day for almost two weeks. The first week I felt very ill and could not eat or hardly swallow liquid. But at the end of the first week my sponsor took me to another AA couples house for dinner, where I made up for the whole week of not eating, and as far as I remember that is when the compulsion left.

God Bless Mark B on your mission in the Middle East. I should be able to find a meeting easier than you can if I get off my butt.


Member: david m
Location: indianapolis
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 10:23:32 PM

Comments

the comulsion to drink was lifted when i absolutely knew i'd had enough.


Member: Doug K.
Location: The end of the road in W. Mich.
Date: 10/22/2001
Time: 10:26:52 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic.

My early sobriety was pretty much a pink cloud. At seven months sober I had worked through step 8 and portions of step nine, when my first sponsor ol' Fred died. Ol' Fred's hardest job with me was to help me seek a higher power. I found it a daunting task...to believe that a god of some type would actually intervene in Doug's life to make it any better when there were so many in the world more deserving... I just didn't think I would ever be able to do it. One morning, at about ten months of sobriety, I had to get up early and travel South to Lansing for a meeting. It was about 5:30 am as I was walking to the bathroom to shower when the urge hit. Like a frieght train. A total compulsion to drink...every cell in my body was screaming... the demons were back and I knew they had me. I tried 5 seconds of sanity...then the daily reflections...then some of the big book...and I knew for certain that somewhere between my house and Lansing at 6:55 am I would be sitting in a parking lot of a party store waiting for the son of a bitch to open up. As I stepped into the shower I paused and said very simply, though for the first time ever, "Please God, help me...I don't want to drink today." That very moment I learned the tremendous power that would help me if I was properly humble. I try to keep that humility as best I can, and thank my hp several times a day for the miracles that have unfolded in my life since this washed out piece of white trash first showed up at the tables of AA. All through the grace of my higher power.

Thanks, all.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 4:23:56 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. The obsession to drink was lifted in approximately my 7th month of sobriety, back in mid 1988.Only when I admitted complete defeat, surrendered, and prayed the shortest most powerful prayer I know of to this day. God help me was this Grace of Gods granted to me. God willing the 23rd of November will be 14 years of continous sobriety and I can say from the bottom of my heart that the obsession to drink has not returned since that language of the heart prayer for God's help, and I have not thought about picking up a drink in well over 5 years. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: sunny s.
Location: New Bedford, MA.
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 9:53:05 AM

Comments

I feel so blessed to have read all these wonderful experiences. My sponsor told me to go find a site that would feed me and I knew right where to go.

I had been able to surrender to HP and AA as soon as I learned that I was an alcoholic. A wonderful oldtimer took me under his wing and made sure I got to some of those downtown meetings when I might have stayed uptown. He emphasized that anger, fear, and relationships could be very dangerous, and made a special point about how I was not to try to help another alkie until I had something to transmit. He encouraged me to get a female sponsor, but my choices weren't made with HP's help. One night, I was ANGRY about something. I drove around while rerunning it through my mind and the desire to drink came on strong. I realized that I hadn't had the desire to drink since that first AA meeting. I began to pray for help with the anger and the desire to drink. I had a devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other so to speak. I knew that my friend would be home and was trustworthy to call. But I wanted to drink, but I wanted to stay sober, but I wanted to drink. I understood that I was at the crossroads. I could have the anger or I could surrender and have sobriety. I could see the truth of what Bill W. said about anger killing me. I surrendered, and called the man. He asked where I was, told me to go to the restaurant a block away and order coffee and zuchini sticks. He said not to move until he got there. As I waited for him, I prayed for sanity and to have the desire removed. He came in and let me talk for 2 or 3 hours. He would punctuate whatever I said with AA wisdom and his kindness. I didn't drink that night. I haven't had the desire since then because a loving higher power accepted my surrender.

I did have another insane thought about drinking. I was tired after a long week. I found myself thinking won't it be nice to get home, put my feet up, and finally have some brandy in my coffee? I recoiled just as if from a hot flame. The promise in step 10 was true.

May the Highest Divine Good be done for us all. Thanks for being here.


Member: vini b
Location: L.A.
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 11:34:40 AM

Comments

vini, alcoholic.

can't wait until i can honestly answer the question being asked. i can't wait to finally feel the sense of sobriety. am still struggling to find a hp that will keep the demons away. all i can do is wait and take it a day at a time. the feeling of anger, depression, frustration haunt me. i am convince that this is a problem that i cannot fight alone and am willing NOW to do something about it. With the help of people like you and my hp i now i can one day respond to this questions. i don't want to give up on my search to resolve my alcoholism. thanks for letting me share.


Member: CT
Location: North
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 12:19:51 PM

Comments

Ct here and a alcoholic. I am still fighting the compulsion to drink. It will be one month tomorrow since my last drink. I'm not going to meetings and am depending on this online service and all you folks out there for your help and testimony.Thanks


Member: Wm. A.
Location: Niagara Falls Canada
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 1:34:11 PM

Comments

WA and today is my first day of sobriety. Am so sick and tired of feeling sick and tired. Tried the AA program a few years ago and was clean for 8 months. I have to do this with the strength of God a much higher power. I have a great job but know it is in jeopardy if I continue to drink. Really appreciate all of the honests comments here. Sure could use your prayers.


Member: Susan W
Location: Charleston, SC
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 2:01:27 PM

Comments

Sorry, I hit the wrong button and lost it for a minute. I've been reading this site for a couple of weeks now and it has helped a great deal. In fact, I leave the site up on my computer at work and read it every day. I hope that very soon I can post with something worthwhile that will help a newcomer and that I can say I am no longer a newcomer. Thanks so much for caring.


Member: Susan W
Location: Charleston, SC
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 2:09:06 PM

Comments

I think I'm not meant to post today. In a nutshell--I'm going to go to a meeting today, even though I cannot say I've not had a drink today. I'm going to beg for a sponsor. In my first post that didn't make it posted, I stated that I'm to the point now that in the morning I pray to God to get me through the day, then the shakes start, and they're so bad I can't get ready for work. I work in a law office and have to "look nice". I can't put on make up, do my hair, etc. I manage to get to work every day, but its not because I had eggs for breakfast. I think if I can get through 1 day, may I can get through a 1000 days. I'll keep reading this site, it helps me a great deal. Has made me realize my anger, frustration, fear, depression and loneliness. That's what this disease does. I have no doubt I'm a bonafide alkie. I just have doubts that I can make it.


Member: Danny T.
Location: Gaithersburg, MD.
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 3:26:22 PM

Comments

Sunny, thank you for the topic. I celebrated a seven year anniversary on 10/15. It's been a while for me since that compulsion and obsession to drink was lifted from me by my HP. I don't remember exactly what day that compulsion was lifted from me. All I remember is that whem I finally surrendered to AA, I started attending meetings regularly, following suggestions, getting a sponsor, and building a network of people who could help me stay sober. Next, I made a decision to turn my will over to the care of God as I understood him by committing to work the steps of AA. Specifically, after working the fourth and fifth steps I found a home in AA. Then, one day, I realized that I was nolonger thinking about wanting to take a drink. It's a mistery to me, and I'm forever gratefull.

Susan, sometimes, people need to be detoxed in a hospital. Don't try to do it by yourself. Get some help. I'ts hard to ask for help, but once you do it you will be glad. Go to a meeting and get help from women that have had some time in the program. God bless you.


Member: Wouter
Location: Neth
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 4:01:56 PM

Comments

Thank you for all your personel stories esp. Graham from Canbarra, Aus.

Wouter from the Neth. here, alkie without any of' the vibes' anymore. My vibes made me tremble, not really but psychologically. I never had the shakes but the vibes sure were there. they were in my soul. I was uncertain, unhappy, unreal in the end.

Every day, unbelievable nowadays, astonished and flabbergasted looking back, I needed my joints and I prefered them with beer, wine or whatever.

20 years on a row.

41 now, 2 years and 3 mths sober.

Feel certain, happy and real now. I am me.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 4:38:54 PM

Comments

The obsession and compulsion to drink was lifted from me around 9 months of sobriety when I had went through some major personal changes that had caused some pain and didn't want to drink over it. Part because I ask God for help when it happened, and part because I went to a lot of meetings and shared with other recovering people what was going on with me.

However, I am not "cured" and if I allow myself to get lax about going to meetings, sharing with other alcoholics, etc., it will return. The phenomenon of CRAVING still rears it's ugly head once in a while and that is usually when I am H.A.L.T.S. (S-Stressed) to the extreme. It doesn't become an obsession today, however, and I can turn it over fairly quickly.

Thank you AA and my higher power who saw it fit that after 14 years of knowing about AA and coming around here and there, that I finally have a program of recovery that makes my life a whole lot easier to deal with.


Member: Beverly L
Location: So Cal
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 5:02:59 PM

Comments

Mark B: God Bless you, Buddy. I<m the mother of a Viet Nam Vet, wife of a WW11 Vet and the daughter of a WW1 Vet which makes me very proud of you. You can make it, try hints about being a friend of Bill W's to guys around you. If you care to, E-mail me at BionicBev@Juno.com All the best to you and all your Buddies.


Member: Ted T.
Location: Illinois
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 7:56:54 PM

Comments

Hi all, I'm Ted and I'm an alcoholic. You know, I never really wanted to drink, I just didn't know what else to do. I had so many voices in my head and so much of what they said was garbage, drinking seemed to be the only solution. Once I learned of a better style of living, I learned that I didn't have to drink anymore. It's that feeling of not having to drink I love most. Understanding that there are no answers in the bottle and no resolutions that come in a can is the best feeling.


Member: luckyboy
Location:
Date: 10/23/2001
Time: 8:55:37 PM

Comments

i am luckyboy

i am a fishhead


Member: bob
Location:
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 12:31:39 AM

Comments

It was not until I was comfortable with my sobriety and knowing that my life did not need that obsession.


Member: Susan W
Location: Charleston, SC
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 8:53:09 AM

Comments

Susan W here, alkie. To Danny T, I know I could probably use a hospital to detox in, but that takes money, which I have none. I must maintain my job, my composure. I must bring in money. Any ideas on what can help with the detox? Vitamin C maybe? I tried taking a mild tranqulizer, but that only made me sleepy so it didn't work. I have prayed for my God to relieve me of this detox thing, but He's not listening. I don't know how to do it and I must do it alone, i.e., without hospital intervention. I will go to a meeting and try to find another woman whose been through it. One problem I have is that I leave work about 3:00 each day. The meetings around here are at Noon (which I can't go to) or they start at 5:30. Well, between 3:00 and 5:30 alot can happen. In fact, that's my "drinking time". To go home, do laundry, clean house, etc., every day, no one to talk to, makes me very lonely. So, guess what? I must sound very pathetic. I'm sorry. Any suggestions would be welcome. I feel if I could get through 1 day, I could get through 1,000. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Danny T
Location: Gaithersburg, MD
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 9:29:03 AM

Comments

I'm Danny T, and I'm a greatfull recovering alcoholic. Susan W, if you want it, there is another way of life for you. You just have to be willing to go to any lengths to get it. You need to figure out what's more important ... Your life or your job. If you have AA literature, I would suggest you read the 2nd step on the 12&12 a few times. Also, I would again suggest you seek women in recovery, not men, to help you get sober.


Member: WmA
Location: Niagara Falls Canada
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 9:41:58 AM

Comments

To SusanW SC....get yourself to a meeting Susan..went to my first one last night and does make a difference ....you are not pathetic ....none of us are...just people that have to get well...I am pretty much in the same boat as you as this only my second day of sobriety ....but today is different because i will not drink and alas I can at least drink a cup of coffee this morning and sip on the first attempt...(shakes) ...a friend last night told me either you cannot to drink and die or you stop get in the program an regain your life hon...yes Danny is so right seek a woman in recovery...you have a lot of friends here who do sincerely care! I would consider changing your routine from going home right after work where the demons seem to be lurking. I am a social worker by profession and should never have been in this position right? Wrong ! This disease can affect anyone. Will pray for both of us today hon. Warmest thoughts!


Member: Mike G.
Location: Athlone Ireland
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 10:09:11 AM

Comments

A.A has given me the opportunity to experience the two great freedoms; Freedom from the terrible nightmare obsession, and the freedom to live with a degree of peace and contentment. To all the friends of Bill W. Thanks And God Bless, from Mike G. in the "Heart Of Ireland.


Member: Craig L
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 11:13:00 AM

Comments

When I first got out of detox I didn’t care if I ever saw another drink again. I was beat up pretty bad. 18 months later I still feel nauseous at the thought of getting drunk, but with the memory of my last drunk clear in my mind, the alcoholic in me still temps me with ridiculous arguments about making a drink OK.

I no longer have the fantasy that I can fight my alcoholism. In step 1, I admitted I was powerless over alcohol, then with step 2, I turn to God for sanity. Every time I entertain the idea of a drink or drug I ask God for help, I suddenly find myself far away from those thoughts. It is not a trick or game I play on my mind, but a simple fact.

I love the gift of my sobriety.


Member: susan
Location: whitman, ma
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 1:53:53 PM

Comments

hi my name is susan and i am an alcoholic.today is my first time on this site. i have been going to meetings for 19months now. i have drank 4 times since i started the program. last time i drank was april 1 2001. i don;t have a sponsor and am kinda weary about getting one. i do have a problem, my boyfriend has to attend these meetins and i followed along, the only thing is, is that i don;t share because he is there.i enjoy going but i would like to share.he insists on going when i do so that pretty much defeats my purpose. well, i hope to hear from someone.thanks


Member: Jim C.
Location: Torrance, CA USA
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 3:33:23 PM

Comments

Committing to my sponsor, first thing, in the morning that I will not drink or use, no matter what, helps me suppress the obsession of alcohol.


Member: WmA
Location: Niagara Falls Canada
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 3:43:58 PM

Comments

To Susan Whitman ma......is it that you do not feel compfortable sharing when you boyfriend is present ?.....or just choose not too?....lot of people can share with here Susan....congrats for over 5 months of not consuming and being in the program for over 19.....and that is just from a new comer.


Member: theparty'sover
Location: Ireland
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 4:44:39 PM

Comments

hello, this is my first time @ a meeting on the net.


Member: theparty'sover
Location:
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 5:08:31 PM

Comments

to susan,whitman. I went to AA & identified with what i heard,not everything though but with real alcoholics who suffer the disease of alcoholism, i identified with the effects of alcoholism,(fear,feeling insecure,feeling below people,paranoid,very aware of myself,couldn't hold conversation,short concentration span,chronic thinking,alway's on edge, jealous of my wife going anywhere or doing anything or dressing nice,fierce temper,short fuse,mood swings,brainstorms,people pleasing, total unmanagable life,) i could talk allnight. Then i asked another man i heard sharing at a meeting one night, a man who was like me but now had an answer& was living a happy life along with his family.& he took me through the programme of AA (the 12 steps )of recovery & through trying to put them into practice every day, just for 1 day @ a time my life has started to fall into place.But the man had to have gone through the programme himself or else he would have nothing to offer me only guessing & knowledge which to a true alcoholic is not only hopless but dangerous. So please keep going to meetings & listen , & ask god (even if u don't believe)to put someone in front of you to help you, to let u hear someone & if it's what u want ask the person can they help you. Susan try to get to meetings without your husband & try & share what your going through.Susan if your alcoholic the only thing that can help is AA meetings & the 12 step recovery programme .So good luck


Member: AnilG
Location: MtVernon,IL
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 5:40:06 PM

Comments

Last day of my compulsion and obsession was on 2nd jan 1998. when I was asked to come for physical Exam fo rmy licence I was confronted with either to keep my licence or loose it because of my insanity and drinking. anyway I choose to be a cold turkey and Have not had anything.I go to AA regularly attend church and follow the will of GOD.


Member: Scott V
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 7:41:59 PM

Comments

Greetings everybody....is this a live meeting? This is the first time I've looked at this site, and I'm wondering if this is a real-time conversation, or a bulletin board.


Member: Connie
Location: California
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 8:32:17 PM

Comments

SUSAN, Putting your sobriety first may mean telling your boyfriend that you don't wish him to accompany you to meetings, and why. I have close family members who attend meetings, and I don't go to the same meetings because I need to keep my program separate from theirs -- and also for the reason you've stated, that I may not feel free to share from the bottom line with significant others sitting there listening. Sounds like you've been trying to sponsor yourself, and that's not a good idea, either. You could ask someone to be your temporary sponsor while you're looking around for someone permanent -- at least that way you'll have someone to guide you.


Member: Ted A
Location: Bethel, ME.
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 8:43:59 PM

Comments

thanks for the topic.I guess i identify with pg. xv. of the big book,where bill w. had been relieved of his drink obsession by a sudden spiritual experience.Im not sure what day it was but it was somewhere soon after coming into this wonderful fellowship.to quote another passage,(pg 85 bb) what we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.have a good day.I've had over 8800 of them.


Member: quiet bill
Location: arizona
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 11:19:01 PM

Comments

To Susan,,,,you`re gettung good advice,,,,,listen to the ladies,,,,find a SPONSOR please best thing thats why you really continue to go to meetings,,,,for YOURSELF,,,, my Mom & Dad are buried in Whiteman,,,,across from the school and that pond and the VFW that gave me a flag one time for my Dad`s grave,,,,so I`ll pray for you tonite and hope you find the sponsor,,,,find you should love yourself FIRST and maybe good things will follow you because you have been doing right things for so long,,,,the program is wonderful,,,,truth about me is at my Dads passing I got awful drunk in Whiteman ,,,,but 14 years later I was the main speaker at my Moms services,,,,thats one of the things the whole program did for me ,,,,am I ever grateful,,,, remember ,,,, "a Tollhouse cookie is better than a drink where we come from" Love you and my best for your future


Member: DanielleL
Location: Louisiana
Date: 10/24/2001
Time: 11:37:30 PM

Comments

Hi all I've only been sober for a week but it's a start unfortunately it took me seeing my friend od on drugs for me to take stock in my life and realize that I am an alcoholic. Things are hard for me but meeting and online meetings give incredible strength to me. I know this can be done and I know it works. Please keep me in your prayers and I shall do the same for all of you. God Bless.


Member: Mike G.
Location: Athlone Ireland
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 5:45:41 AM

Comments

I have always found difficulty in doing what I was told, where as in A.A. I sometimes listened and heard members share how they lived their lives and dealt with the many and varied problems that have and will confront me on this wonderful journey called life.


Member: Katherine T.
Location: Houston, TX
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 11:23:33 AM

Comments

Well, I can't tell you when the O&C left me...because it's still there. I have recently left a substance abuse felony punishment facility (prison, really) where they gave me "treatment" for 9 months. Rational-emotive therapy mostly, because AA with the higher power thing is seen as a discrepancy between the church-and-state thing. Anyway, once you get released from this you're sentenced to a half-way house for three months to get re-acquainted with the "free world." Then you're released and have all kinds of stipulations and obligations...and SOMEHOW you're supposed to stay sober through all this. Funny, none of my new friends have...neither have I. This is my first time on this web site. I have no means of transportation, and am working for my father. Most of the time I spend surfing the net unproductively. I thought I might try using the computer and its resources to get some help for myself. Thank you for the opportunity, and I am asking for your prayers and support.


Member: susan a.
Location: whitman ma
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 1:28:05 PM

Comments

i really want to thank everyone for their care abd concern, i feel welcome. thank you.you know it is so difficult to work the program the right way for me right now. we are trying to start a business,in the process of buying a house, the kids are upset that we are moving to another town, it's just not easy right now.as for the gentleman that buried his dad at the park in whitman, that is where i go to my meetings, the church there.again thanks to all.


Member: Stephanie H
Location: Texas
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 2:28:17 PM

Comments

To Susan W in Charleston, SC -if you're still keeping up with this meeting: I have only been sober for about 6 1/2 months, but it has completely turned my life around. I fully understand your problem with "the shakes". I had to go to a doctor to help get me through the first few days. I did miss 3 days of work and was kind of in a fog for a week or two afterwards, but it was worth it not having to take a drink in the morning to settle my hands. (I had been pretty much drinking around the clock) He prescribed something called "librium" I think. It really helped get me through the hardest part. Maybe you could plan your own personal "detox" around a work holiday or something so that you don't miss too much work. I'll be here if you have any questions. After you detox, you will be able to concentrate on this wonderful program. My desire to drink left me after I joined AA, however I still take it one day at a time. May God bless and keep you safe. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Maggie.B
Location: Basque Country, N Spain
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 3:18:17 PM

Comments

Thank you all so much for your comments and fascinating stories. I am coming up to 5 years sober and this programme, my sponsor and friends in the fellowship are vital for my sober life. There are Spanish meetings up here and from time to time we get a english speaking visitor passing through - I go out for a coffee and we have a meeting with a Grapevine or a good chat.

I so miss being able to get to English meetings and hear the message so this has been a really valuable connection with everyone on line. Thanks to Mark B for what you wrote in the Middle East - I´m here through choice and its a freedom, priviledge and joy which I would not have realised in my drinking - which.....was lifted from me on or just after my 2nd meeting when I suddenly had the realisation as I was with 3 other wonderful recovering alcoholics and addicts that ...I DIDN´T HAVE TO DO IT ANY MORE.. Yippee. What a relief. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. Freedom.

Peace, serenity & Love

Maggie


Member: Rayanne M.
Location: Virginia
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 5:24:45 PM

Comments

Hi-I'm Rayanne, another alcoholic.A friend who attends one of my regular meetings told me about this sight, so I am pleased to be able to share my experience, strength and hope and to receive yours! My sobriety date is April 8, 1995. I marched myself to AA on the 7th; however, I downed half a bottle of Chardonnay before attending the meeting, so obviously that doesn't count! I knew from the very first meeting I attended that I belonged. I honestly thought the compulsion to drink was lifted then and there, but I was wrong! I'd been sober a couple months when I received a call from my uncle. He said, "right now I'm sipping on a Dewars and thinking of you." Dewars was my favorite "drink of choice" and after he made that comment I started shaking and sweating, because I could almost taste it. I can only thank my HP for heading me in the direction of my second meeting of the day instead of the liquor store. I don't know for sure if the compulsion has left as I am no longer arrogant enough to speak for the future; I do know as of today that incident was the last time I have truly craved alcohol. Thanks for letting me share- I'll be back!


Member: luckyboy
Location:
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 8:34:19 PM

Comments

are there any aa nudist camps? my girlfriend and i want to join one.


Member: Chris K.
Location: Hawaiian Rainforest
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 8:54:17 PM

Comments

aloha on-line family of recovery. The physical cravings ended soon after I detox'd, but the obsession did not leave so quickly. It seems as though, when I first got here, I would hit a wall of discomfort, and end up using/drinking again. This happened over & over, usually at about the three-month mark. I remember well being at that point yet again, getting on my clothes so that I could go down & buy that bottle of 89cents wine from the corner liquor store. Then it happened - I asked God to help me, because I didn't want to drink, but I could not help myself. And God did help me. I did not go down, my sponsor "just so happened" to call, and I was given the grace to get honest with her. I believe that shortly after that I went through with the 4th step. Although I did not feel immediate relief, it signaled that I was indeed "willing to go to any lengths". I have been sober ever since.


Member: DOUG R
Location: ROSWELL GA
Date: 10/25/2001
Time: 9:52:26 PM

Comments

ALOHA CHRIS MAHALO FOR SHARING I AM ALSO FROM

HAWAII:) NOW LIVING ELSE WERE. THE COMPULSION

BEGAIN TO LEAVE ME WHEN I GOT ON MY KNEE,S

IN A CRACK HOUSE AND ASK GOD TO HELP I TOLD

HIM I WAS DONE. THREW TREATMENT AND AA I WAS

ABLE TO GET 3YRS BUT I TOUGHT I WAS WELL:) YEH

RIGHT STOP GOING TO MEETING AND STARTED SMOKING

POT FOR A FEW MONTHS. BUT SAW WERE IT WAS

TAKING ME RIGHT BACK TO THE 7/7 AND COKE

I THEN LET MY HIGHER POWER TAKE OVER

THAT WAS ON 04/20/1993 AND HAVENT BEEN OUT

SINCE:) I DID GO A COUPLE OF YAERS WITH OUT

A MEETING:( THAT WAS WORSE THEN USING

BEEN BACKIN MEETINGS FOR ABOUT 3PLUS YRS

WHAT A CHANGE IN MY LIFE:) ALOHA FOR NOW


Member: millie
Location:
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 1:08:50 AM

Comments

nudist a.a.@www.nudist.com


Member: CG
Location: Southwest US
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 1:54:58 AM

Comments

Hi-I'm CG and I'm an alcoholic. The lady that was to become my sponser offered that I just might be an alcoholic and that I might need to go to an AA meeting. Thus started a whilwind tour through all the things the Big Book says about us. I had to admit I had a problem, turn it over, write it out, tell another, make amends and do all that was written in the steps thereafter. I knew I had a booze problem but the startling fact was finding others that had had the same LIFE problems as myself. When others told my story it scared the daylights out of me! But from this I guess God revieled to me that there was an answer. It certianly hadn't come from the bar. I'd attended many un-Happy Hours there and didn't feel any better. But when I did what my sponser told me [The Steps] and listened to others in the group, the sick, dizzy spinning slowed. I could go for a length of time without feeling like I was going to come loose and rocket through the roof [something I now know as irratable and discontent in volumes]. When the spinning slowed further I knew God was there and REALLY did want me to do something besides distroy myself. Wow! Not only did God care, but other PEOPLE did too. Not because they could get something from me, or that I was validating their feelings and actions. AA members said "Welcome, and Keep Coming Back" because they ment it. Then they told me I didn't have to live that way any more if I didn't want to. The spinning slowed even further. I began to understand what people were saying in meetings, and some of it applied to me! Then one day I wasn't spinning at all...and I wasn't pulled by the need to drink. It was worth it to me to have the possability of a life that didn't hurt. My sobrity took presidence in my life. Laundry, spouse, job, all those things can sure dissapear if we don't make sobrity a first priority. There's no place to run inside your own head. I haven't had to anisthetize myself since November 27, 1992. Thank you God and thank you all for letting me share.


Member: Michelle P.
Location: OOB, Maine
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 7:28:12 AM

Comments

Hi to everyone. This is my first time online discussing my alcoholism. I love this! Sunny, thanks for this topic. Susan in Charlston,SC. hang in there, it does get better. On the 31st it will be 19 years for me. Like many others my compulsion and obsession to drink was lifted gradually and what seemed to be very slowly. Staying away from meetings for the last few years has blessed me with opportunity to experience that same old C&O once again. I've gotten complacent in my sobriety as my life has progressed. There have been many times during the last few years that I've had the opportunity to forget who I was with consumption of alcohol. Thankfully I remember very clearly the last few drunks I went on and those memories haven't faded. Coming up on my anniversary I want to make a commitment to get to a meeting at least once a week. It will be my birthday present to myself. I still have all those character defects I came through the doors of AA with. When I don't hear about them at meetings I forget I have them and then wonder why I feel to crummy. Meetings keep me honest about myself and remind me of my link to humanity. Thanks for being here today for me.


Member: mary
Location: geauga  county
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 10:12:33 AM

Comments

hi, mary here, i am sober today; that is as far as i want to look in either direction (forward or backward). my hp steped in one day at work to stop me from hurting myself or some one else. he made me understand that i had to stop running as fast as i could to take care of everyone else and start taking care of myself. now i start each day with a visit with my hp. so far i have been able to say, "today, i am sober".


Member: Susan W.
Location: Chas., SC
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 11:34:52 AM

Comments

Susan W., alkie. Thanks for your encouragement WmA., Niagra Falls. I am soooo close to commiting to AA. Step 2 is a problem. I understand I MUST commit to Step 2 before anything else. I never realized how willful I really am. I always thought I was the submissive one. Wrong.

To Stephanie H, Texas. Try Step 2. I haven't been able to do it completely yet. "Yet" is the key word. I will. I pray every day for willingness and the ability to surrender.

Thanks for everyone's sharing. I need it so very much.


Member: Beverly L
Location: So Cal
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 12:48:10 PM

Comments

Hi Alkies, Bev here, an oldtimer. KATHERINE from Houston, there's great AA in that city. If you can find the phone # in the phone book call it and you will get all the help you want. The best of luck and God bless you. I love this site!


Member: Scotty S.
Location: MONTEAGLE, TN
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 1:15:21 PM

Comments

Most COMPANY INSURANCE PROVIDES FOR DETOX. IF NOT CALL THE HUMAN SERVICES DIVISION IN YOUR AREA. ALSO CHECK LOCAL HOSPITALS AND DETOX CENTERS . SOME ARE GOV'T SUBSIDIZED AND PROVIDE TREATMENT FOR FREE. MY Sobriety has to be #1 on my list before anything else. Everything else will work out exactly as it is suppose to. And better than I could have planned it. Otherwise; go to a meeting everyday for at least 90 days. You will be amazed before you are halfway through. Be good to yourself today! your friend , Scotty


Member: chris l.
Location: Brampton, Ont.
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 2:42:53 PM

Comments

it takes work,lots of work. Big Book, steps sponser, meetings. I also write in a journal.this is a one day at a time programn.


Member: Chas B.
Location: TX
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 3:38:20 PM

Comments

Hey guys. Chas, alcoholic. Kind of having a rough few days here, and this is slightly off topic. 3 months into the program, and everything has been great. I love this program, have been chairing meetings, talking to AAs, the works. But the past few days I have had some reservations about Step 2. This is where my sponsor has me working right now. Last week I would have said "Step 2 - oh sure, yes, I'm all for it." I don't know why some of this confidence has left. When I think about the principles behind it, I believe them very much. I know beyond a doubt that AA has begun to return me to sanity from a dark place where I hope never to return. For the first time in my life, I have begun to believe in and pray to a God of my understanding. On paper, I know Step 2 works. I don't understand, though, why I feel as if I haven't swallowed it completely. I feel like those sailors who have been lost at sea, and once finding dry land, are hesitant to step ashore. Right now, I would not be willing to hinge my sobriety on my conviction of Step 2, and that scares me. I have been praying about this, but haven't talked to anyone about it yet.

I am just nervous because this may be my first hang-up since entering the program in July. I want to thank everybody for being here for me to talk to and letting me share.


Member: Greg N
Location: MI
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 3:57:18 PM

Comments

Great topic!

The compulsion to drink was lifted for me when I found myself in the back of a patrol car, getting ready for my 2nd drunk driving offense to become reality, and realizing that this drinking thing that I'm supposed to be enjoying is making my life hell. From that moment on, I've been sober and am still motivated to do so for fear of having that situation creep up again with even more dire consequences. Hell, it's been two years and I'm still paying for that damn OUIL. No more. I don't drink, and my lfe is better for it. But realizing that everything is better is the real prize... not only concentrating on not getting in trouble again, but recognizing that so many facets of my life have improved... now there's the real joy in sobriety. Thanks for listening!


Member: Brenda D.
Location: Southern Indiana
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 7:21:23 PM

Comments

To Chas B. from Tx. KEEP IT SIMPLE-(KISS). What choice do you really have - if you want to stay sober? In the Big Book - the story about the J-walker - was he not insane? Who, in their right mind would go out into traffic again & again knowing that they have been hurt & will continue to get hurt? Are we not like that in our drinking? Believe in your sponsor - that is a start - then go on from there. Do it a "day at a time". Learn to believe that others, besides yourself, have answers. HP speaks to us through people - listen. Sometimes HP talks to us through music - songs -lyrics - LISEN. HP sends us flowers in the spring - do you see them? STOP - LOOK & LISTEN. Tell the "Committee" in your head to be quiet. Listen to your sponsor - listen to the people around the tables. We have all been there & I can tell you from experience that some power greater than ourselves is out there - call it the "Positive Energy" or whatever u choose, but it is there. Thanks for listening. This is the first time I found this site - it is great.


Member: Janet L.
Location: Alt Spgs, FL
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 7:26:32 PM

Comments

The compulsion was lifted for me on an airplane on the way to treatment when I sincerely turned over my cravings to the Higher Power. The Big Book says there will come a time when no mental defense will keep us from the first drink, we must turn to the Higher Power. That was my time and I keep turning it over to Him since then.


Member: Amy L
Location: Hicksville USA
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 7:41:39 PM

Comments

Sonny,

Great Topic!!

The compulsion to drink or the desire to drink was taken from me.. When I asked God from the very bottom of my heart to take it from me..because I could not do it with out his help!! That was after 2-3 weeks of having a really hard time trying to stay sober. It was a strange experience..as I felt it leave my body...I know you will think I am crazy but it happened and I can not deny it..I did for a while telling myself THAT didnt happen..at the time I did not understand what had happened and did not realize this was going to be a lasting thing.. and I am more Thankful for this than words can say. I have only 71 days of sobriety..but I have NO Desire to drink! a couple of times over the last 71 days it has crossed my mind..but it is no real strong urge or desire..that I can not get myself through by saying I dont do that anymore!! Thanks for letting me share! Amy L


Member: Chris K.
Location: Hawaiian Rainforest
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 9:17:12 PM

Comments

aloha on-line "ohana" (family)! Chris K here, again. some folks have been sharing about step 2, I wanted to put in my ESH on that one too. As a matter of fact, I am currently taking my step 2 to a deeper level. Last night I did a fear inventory with my sponsor, because I have been struggling with fear a lot lately. The underlying fear of all the fears is abandonment, being alone...I have been afraid that God doesn't love me and won't care for me...in spite of the fact that I have an unbelievable sober life, a gift from God. My sponsor helped me to realize that I am actually ANGRY at God, for some tragic things that happened to me when I was small; blaming God is so much easier than facing the fact that my caregivers let me down, not God. When I was reflecting on this today, I realized that as long as I counted on others, I was often let down. It was when I asked God for help that my life changed. And, it was when I immersed myself in the fellowship, surrounding myself with others on a spiritual path, that I had people in my life that do care and love me. I want what you have - a deeper relationship with the God of my understanding. If you are reading this and are new, I suggest you ask your higher power for help, and then ACCEPT that help, whatever form it takes. You really have nothing to lose and everything to gain, by availing yourself of this awesome program. God bless you, may he keep us clean and sober another day.


Member: Stephen F
Location: Rockland MA
Date: 10/26/2001
Time: 11:07:44 PM

Comments

The day the compulsion and obsession to drink was lifted from me was when I was about 2 months sober. I was living at my fathers in his trailor sitting in his recliner. All I know is that I wanted to drink and if I got out of that chair I was going to the frig and grabbing a beer. Sitting there holding the arm rest I said the prayer that has changed my life. It was very simple but the results unmeasureable. I simple pleaded to the God of my understanding,saying "If there is a God, please God remove the desire to drink or Im going to get up and drink". At that moment the desire was lifted. It felt as if a weight was lifted right off of my shoulders. From that day to this I have not missed a day asking God to help keep me sober and to please remove the desire to drink. Being that we only have today I ask daily. Its been over 13 years and the desire has never returned. I also thank God at night for the gift of sobriety


Member: john d
Location: mpls mn
Date: 10/27/2001
Time: 4:28:43 AM

Comments

The obsession being lifted. A good topic for me since I've been out of the loop lately. It's hard for me to back to those days. I feel so removed from early recovery. I don't know exactly when the obsession was lifted, but, I know that when I made an honest commitment to stop drinking, I got so into recovery, that I didn't have time to obsess. I went to tons of meetings. The support and friendship that I got from you guys was so much better than the isolation and trouble that drinking brought me, that it wasn't much of a choice. I haven't had a serious thought about taking a drink., since I made that decision. Life isn't always easy but it's good!


Member: Rick S.
Location:
Date: 10/27/2001
Time: 10:35:18 AM

Comments

Hi:

This is my first "meeting" in 20 years. I stopped drinking and remained sober all this time. But, in June of this year, I was having problems dealing with a lawsuit with my dex-wife,I went to a psychiatrist who prescibed the drug 'ATIVAN'.

I started losing my memory almost immediately. I had what the doctor thought might be seizures.

I also started drinking. I don't even remember where I got the booze. It was some type of amnesia.

But it wasn't constant. It was four distinct episodes - the first one landed me in the hospital. The other three involved arrests for drunk driving.

The worst part of this story is that I don't remember buying the booze. I guess I was TOTALLY out of control. It turns out that ATIVAN has all kinds of side effects that the quack schrink never told me about. He just kept giving me more and more.

In four months, I went from being a successful business professional, to a broken criminal. Now I'm facing jail time, thousands of dollars that I don't have (I could hardly work for four months), and the loss of my license for only God knows how long.

The doctor gave me a month's supply of ATIVAN and increased the dosage by a third just before my last arrest. All I remember is being at work, then being in jail. I don't even remember the arrest.

I stopped taking the ATIVAN 2 1/2 weeks ago, and I'm still having side effects. But my memory and brain is coming back. Now I have to handle all the things I messed up when I was on the ATIVAN.

The psychiatrist turned out to be just a 'legal' drug dealer. He just kept giving me more and more. When I told him about the drunk driving problems, he just said "don't drink".

No kidding.

After I got off that poison, my senses came back. I haven't drank, nor do I crave a drink. I started reading about ATIVAN, and it turns out it's a HORRIBLE drug, and should NOT be prescribed to people with alcohol problems. I told the Doctor in the first meeting that 20 years ago I used to drink.

Now I'm afraid of ANY drug, even when prescribed by some so-called expert.

I'm trying to find a lawyer that might be willing to sue the doctor for malpractice.

I live way out in the country, and since I can't drive, find it hard to get a ride to meetings.

It's nice to know you are out there.


Member: luckyboy
Location:
Date: 10/27/2001
Time: 5:59:51 PM

Comments

i love 13 steppin


Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 10/27/2001
Time: 6:30:51 PM

Comments

My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Obsession and compulsion ……. I had to look them up in the dictionary.

obsession-noun – a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.

compulsion- noun – an irresistible impulse to perform an irrational act.

Before AA and before I was trying to remember a power greater than myself the words described my relationship with alcohol. My drinking was never safe or controlled – I knew that somehow booze did something different for me than it did for most people. When I decided to drink , I knew that I might black out, drive drunk, get in a fight or a huge list of things that I did not want to happen. I was willing to pay the price because those beers, or shots, or mixed drinks made me feel a way that was like nothing else. I chased that feeling and would sometimes get it for maybe about 20 minutes. Other times I would drink knowing that that good feeling was just about to come. Then I would wake up and know I had screwed up again. This went on and on and on. The trouble got worse and I was not getting out easily. I called AA and found a meeting. Because of AA and God my life has changed for the better.

I don’t have an obsession or compulsion to drink today. I have not acted on thoughts of having a drink in a while now thanks to AA and some power greater than me. Without getting to sappy about it – I thank God each day for everything he has given me, everything he has taken away, and everything which is left. When I think of what he has taken from me, one of the best things is that he has taken idea I had that I can drink. I have that gift today.

The bottom line is that my only hope for relief is for something outside me to change the kind of thinking that I had before I came to AA. It started with step 1&2 for me. I believed when I first took the steps and I believe today that I am alcoholic and can not manage my own life, probably no human power can relieve my alcoholism, and I believe that God can and will if I seek him. I decide seek him by praying, sitting and relaxing, going to meetings, reading the book, taking the steps, and working with other alcoholics. Not all the time, but hopefully enough. I sometimes seek something outside myself by doing my job – at work, when I play, with my family and friends, and when eat and sleep. I don’t worry as much as I used to about me. It may not seem like a big deal to some people and maybe it comes more naturally to others, especially good people outside AA, but for a person like me it is a huge deal not to have had a drink for the time I have not had one. I can not forget that. I can’t take credit either, but I can be glad to be sober and be glad that I am getting a life that starts to look more normal to just about anyone. It may look normal, but it is anything but normal, considering that I am an alcoholic who has gotten a second (or 3rd, or 20th) chance. I don’t want to waste it. I don’t want to miss it.

I need to be careful. If I start to think that anything has been “lifted” in a permanent way I would probably not need you guys or meetings. I believe God has taken my obsession /compulsion to drink today (this day). I am pretty sure (that is I hope and believe) he will do it again tomorrow if I am thankful and doing my part today; but if I get too far out there with tomorrows I start to get goofy. I am so glad that AA reminds me to take it as it comes…..and enjoy it….but not to forget. When I can remember what it was like and what it could be like, it makes it even better to be here today. Thanks to everyone for being here too. Take care, jdbvabeach@msn.com


Member: IAN
Location: UK
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 4:16:26 AM

Comments

Ian here,can any one tell me how to lift the obsession and compulsion never mind when, i have been in and out of AA for 6 years and still have not got it. Ihave read the big book spoke to other alkies , tried everything but i still keep drinking,i am desperate to stop drinking as it is literaly killing me but i can't. I know it is up to me to go to AA but i just can't stick at it.I am sitting here on sunday morning with a hangover and promising not to drink again but i am like this every day and by teatime to night i will have myself convinced it is ok to drink using every excuse i can think off


Member: John. L
Location: Delaware
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 4:55:14 AM

Comments

Morning all,,as I sit here at 4:30 on sunday morning,alot has taken place in my life. But lately the test have gotten harder. Last Night my Fiancee dropped a bomb on me. She has decided she wants to be alone. Which has me tearing at the very foundation of my recovery!!!The FACT that I'm powerless over alchol! an my life has just become more unmanageable!sorry but this hurts really bad. But I've done what I was taugh,I called my sponsor,went to a meeting,and hung out with sober people.But it is now 4:45 sunday morning. And i'm alone an confussed and feeling emotions that are scaring the HE"double"LL out of Me. Sorry it's Late an I'm tired...if you got a topic out of this great,if not ???how about dealing with heartships in recovery!!!! Signed: John


Member: mike p
Location:
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 8:40:00 AM

Comments

goodmorning all,sunday,and hopefully my first day to the rest of my life sober.Feeling pretty bad right now trying to fugure out how and what kind of help I need to get.I been trying for the last day this is it,but that usually last only till the the store starts selling booze at 7:00 am.Which of course leads to another absent day of work(one week ).So the point I'm trying to make is how to get going on not drinking,the shakes and dry heaving are almost impossible to deal with.


Member: E.J.
Location: midwest
Date: 10/28/2001
Time: 10:40:58 AM

Comments

Mike P.: I,ve been exactly where you are at. Trust me when I tell you to make a phone call to A.A. There in the phone book. There will be someone there to help you get started in recovery. Whether you realize it or not you have already made the decision to stop drinking. You just need a little help getting started. I know that it might be hard to reach out to someone else ( how could anyone else understand what I'm going through?) Please make that phone call and get started, again trust me, you will be amazed when you meet fellow alcoholics just like yourself. Love you,and wish you only the best.

THANKS, for reminding me how my recovery began over 19 years ago.