Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crowsnest,PA
Date: 10/14/00
Time: 11:46:08 PM
Hi everyone, Bruce A. here, an alcoholic. I just came from our daughter's wedding. What a real nice sober time. How gratful I am to have been sober for this occasion. There was many times when I wasn't available for my children or spouse. I was chasing that untainable dream in alcoholism of maybe it will be bettter the next time. Could we talk about being grateful today for being responsible, But for the Grace of God I have been sober one day at a time since 9-10-83. Love You All, Bruce A.
Member: JK
Location: Miami
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 1:04:53 AM
Hi all,
I am here...I WAS sober for 1 year ++++..but I heard news in Eupopean studies that alcoholic behavior can be modified. I am a very successful executive in a major corporation and I have started moderately drinking again... I am scared.... I should go to a ftf... but I haven't done that... Is anyone out there that can understand????
I am asking for HELP????
Member: Lionel.C
Location: Campbelltown NSW Australia
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 2:40:14 AM
hello everyone my name is Lionel i am an alcoholic. And Bruce Iknow exactly how you feel and I feel that graditude today myself.In my alcoholism Iwas married and my wife and i had 4 children.I was never responsible, alcohol always seemed to come first before my family,my work, myself.Today I can be there for my family,I believe i'am a responsible person.today Imake commitments not promises.Ican be there menatly and emotionaly.what a mirical.I can only talk about how it is for me.By the grace of God and this program i'm still married and have my children in my life.Thankyou for the topic. To all my extended family love you all today. Lionel
Member: Robert M
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 4:30:08 AM
Hi, I'm Robert....alcoholic. 12 plus years sober and no more reservations about whether or not I can ever safely take a drink without the insane obsession/compulsion for more developing. I have a greater and deeper understanding of what alcoholism exactly is today and because of that I can reflect on my own condition and know without a doubt that I've got it. I am greatful for my sobriety and my perception about my condition today. The hell I've been through because of this illness and the hell that my family and others have gone through and continue to go through make it abundantly clear how great my life is today compared to what it once was. My life revolves around me not drinking today and because of that I am allowed renewed relationships with loved ones and have acquired a family of my own with the lady of my dreams. I'm on a ship overseas in the navy....my attitude gets in the gutter with the best of them...my respect/gratitude for life/sobriety seems to get dulled at times....then life is taken away from sailors or whomever like it was in Yemen...suddenly the dullness is eliminated and gratitude for the life I have today returns. An AA meeting I attend revives the spark of gratitude for life....I need that....can never get enough of that. Thanks for the topic and God Bless to those that are suffering.
Member: Joe O.
Location: Saint John NB Canada
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 6:13:40 AM
Hi! I am Joe O. eastern canada. toJK Miami I would suggest studing the second step, also chapter five of the big book ALCOLHOLICS ANONYMOUS Ther insanity of trying the same thing over and over hoping for a different result.(step two) Many of us tried aeasier softer way. (chapter five) After many years it finaly makes sense to me I have accepted my acolholism and have found serenity and peace in sobriety
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 6:40:01 AM
Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-). When I logged in and saw that the board had been updated for the new week, I thought "if I am first, I'd like the topic to be gratitude!" Thanks for getting here ahead of me Bruce.
For the first time in my 9+ years, I heard recently that "a grateful heart will never drink again". I really liked that 'oneliner'. I could whine about some 'stuff' that happened this past week, but instead I need to be grateful that I have a program and so many tools to use when real life crap hits the fan.
The beauty of this program is I didn't have to "use" over what happened. Thanks for letting me share. Great topic Bruce ;-)
Member: Sheri F
Location: Foggy, cool, Portland OR
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 8:21:54 AM
Good Moprning, Gratitude oh yes, I am grateful to this program for giving me a life. I am grateful that my children want, yes want to be with Mom. Grateful that AA gave me the tools to change my life and become responsible even to taking care of my grandchildren. Yes, the Grand children wear me out but I know that I am loved and wanted and for so many years my children went to ANY length to avoid me. I cannot thank AA enough for my life. I have found and am finding that when I make my gratitude list every morning my day goes better, health also. The stinking thinking can't stay if I am grateful for even a button on my blouse, don't have to stop and sew one on (lol.) The harder the times in real life, the more I NEED my gratitude list!! Thanks for being here this morning.. I needed the reminder, and always do, to be grateful for the little things s well as the "biggies". Love and prayers, Sharon (Sheri) F dos 4/1/78. slfrey@Yahoo.com or freyhirata @aol.com
Member: Chris P
Location: York, PA
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 9:49:22 AM
Chris P here, struggling in York, PA. I picked up after almost three years of continuous sobriety. I'm searching for that miracle to happen to me again. I listen to Amazing by Aerosmith over and over. I need to pray more. I'm glad I found this meeting on line. Now I will be sure to do 90 in 90!
Member: Dave H
Location: Madison Wisconsin
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 11:02:15 AM
First to JK. When I read the words, i.e., your words, perhaps our words "I am scared" "I am asking for help" it sent a current right through me. One of the important parts of AA for me is how whenever someone asks for help the hand of AA or my hand too is there for that individual. My own experience is that if I wouldn't have asked for help and gone to that first face to face (how about heart to heart) AA meeting I may have died or exhausted for good what was left of my mental resources. Asking for help and telling others that I was scared was the most important "action" I had ever taken in my life. I was accepted for who I was at that time of my life. A human being in need. Bruce congratulations on being there for such a profound day in life, the wedding of your daughter. Proof again of the promises.
Member: LCG
Location: Lexington
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 12:19:42 PM
Hi All! My name is LC and I am an alcoholic. I too am grateful today for being sober - I woke up this morning without a hangover and without a fear of losing my job over some horrible drunk episode at the company party I attened last night. Thank God for the gift of the AA Fellowship - it has saved my life! As to JK's call for help: JK - I harbored hopes of science finding a way for me to drink again when I first came into AA. I longed for that one cold beer at the end of a work day. My problem is I can't even stop at the thought of one drink... As I have traveled through my sobriety I have learned more about myself and how "alcohol was but a symptom" of what was really wrong in my life. But it took a couple of years for me to start seeing that in myself. The only way I got there was by not drinking One Day At A Time and having the willingness to do something different. The way I was living life before wasn't working and I don't want to go back there!!! These people told me I didn't have to go back and I believed them - still do. If you can handle moderate drinking then good for you - maybe alcholism isn't your problem - but if you're identifying with us, ... Keep coming back! Love, LC
Member: bob
Location: cavan
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 12:53:20 PM
well,barry here, an alcho from cavan ireland.just had a gratitude attack after reading your letters.nearly 6 years sober 1 day at a time. nice talking to ya.goodbye.
Member: IAN F
Location: IRELAND
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 12:57:50 PM
HI MY NAME IS IAN AND I AM AN ALCHOLIC,I HAVE BEEN GOING TO A.A. MEETINGS ON AND OFF FOR FOUR YEARS.EVERY TIME I AM SOBER FOR ANY LENGTH OF TIME I START TO LOOK FOR EXCUSES TO DRINK AND SO FAR I HAVE BEEN ABLE TO FIND ONE, JK HOPE YOUR HEAD DOES,NT WORK LIKE MINE. I,M STARTING TONIGHT ALL OVER AGAIN ATTENDING MY FIRST MEETING IN 6 MONTHS WISH ME LUCK
Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 1:01:42 PM
JK-That could be me,instead of you,and I am so grateful it is not because it very easily could be any of us. The Big Book tells me "it is the great obsession of every abnormal drinker that someday,somehow,he will control and enjoy his drinking." It doesn't tell me it will ever go away so I am always vulnerable. The voice is waiting for the time when it might convince me(in just one moment of insanity)that "it will be different this time." If your instinct tells you to go to a meeting, trust it and do it. If you can't make a "confession"-then don't. Just listen. The time will come. Sounds like you have a good life. Maybe you will hear someone at the meeting who used to be like you and lost it. Bill W. did. I owe my sobriety to the grace of God;He gave me enough time to become sane enough to understand the instructions for living a sober life.
Member: del
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 1:14:23 PM
i wish i had a life.
del
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 2:55:22 PM
To JK in Miami.Please go to meetings, read the literature, as I too an a recovering alcoholic who has been in and out of the program. I can drink once a month(moderate drinking)but I choose not to drink. "Our liquor was but a sympton" (p. 64 of the big book) MY disease has many character defects that overwhelm my ability to contribute life. "More and more we become interested in seeing what we could contribute to life.As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we become conscious of His presence, we began to lose our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter."(p. 63 of the big book). Please keep coming back, I plan to, I prefer living with the aid of this new power.
ablity to live on a
Member: Alan
Location: Midwest
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 3:11:04 PM
JK You say you were sober for 1 year. Why were you sober? Was it because you thought at one time that you were alcoholic? I assume that you have had experience with the AA program, since you mentioned ftf meetings. If so then you know from our literature that we are taught that once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. I always have to remind myself of that. I got here to this program, because I started out as a moderate drinker. If that was your case, like so many of us, then you've been here before and you know where it got you. I have to look at my experiences from the past and my life today and ask myself, Do I really want to chance going back there again. If you really are scared, then I believe your higher power and your concience mind is telling you something. Listen to it. I like to think that if I was told that I had symptoms of lung disease, a doctor wouldn't tell me to start smoking. I do have that dreaded disease of alcoholisim, so why would I want to drink again.I am so gratefull to be sober today and I owe it all to a higher power and all of you in AA. May God bless
Member: rapunzel
Location: right here
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 5:04:02 PM
JK - What's the difference between fear and faith? The way I learned it Faith is fear that has said it's prayers.
Member: goldie
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 5:57:03 PM
oh rapunzel,rapunzel,
let down your locks,
Member: Deb
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 6:56:06 PM
Hi All! Sure glad I no longer am a drunken coke whore. People who know me today are hard to conince I led another type of life. If you are not done with the drink, then drink on. You get to make the decision, No one else can decide for you. If you explore other alternatives I understand. We all have to do what we have to do. I never was real committed to never drinking again. Just got lucky and eventually realized I was slowly moving away from the old ideas and thoughts after awhile. People in recovery can be rather self righteous about their new way of life. As time goes by, humility and understanding of the many roads to recovery sinks in. Good Luck and don't die trying to get ok!!! If one thing fails try another. Gratitude has it's place. LOL
Member: Chula-h
Location: Arizona
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 7:19:34 PM
To JK: Welcome to AA. I hope you will scroll back to messages from Norm and Alan, they are talking about the disease of alcoholism. Ths is not a term we use loosely. Alcoholism is truly a disease, not weakness or bad behavior. Can be defined this way: A set of symptoms, predictable and progressive, untreated, will proceed to insanity and/or death. This has been accepted by the AMA. Alcoholism does not reverse itself, any more than diabetes or any other fatal chronic disease.
Your instinct is correct, you've every reason to be scared. especially if you've faced up to this before. Normal social drinkers rarely ask for help, or even question their drinking.
The derelict, skid row bum never planned to have this happen to him, but the universal symptom of denial has propelled him along the path.
You might want to explore the medical opinion. If you have never explored AA you might want to make a commtment (to yourself) to attend meetings for thirty days to listen to the stories of recovery, accept the advice you'll hear and then see how you feel about it all.
Thirty days of a lifetime is really not a very long time. It may save you years of pain.
I hope I don't sound too "preachy", but you are in such a fragile place....a window that can close so quickly....If your last period of abstinince was self imposed "will power" it didn't last, did it?
My personal "drunkalogue" and subsequent recovery simply mirrors that of thousands of others. My thoughts and prayers go with you. Best wishes, Chula, alcoholic in recovery.
Member: Deb S.
Location: Virginia, USA
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 7:25:58 PM
Hello Deb S. here, another recovering drunken coke whore. I have had a lot to be grateful for in the last 16 days. I'm clean and sober. My mind is clearing, slowly but surely, I am now able to undertake small daily responsibilities,(hey folks that's a big step for me.) 16 Days ago I couldn't bring myself to shower or brush my teeth, cook or eat, clean up my house. Back in recovery after 12 years of "further research", I have been going to meetings(f2f), daily, have a sponsor. Guess I'm just extremely grateful to be here sharing, and to be alive. Thanks, (((HUGS)))to ALL, love, Deb
Member: Stonewall
Location: SW Virginia
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 10:14:22 PM
Evening there folks,I'm Stonewall and I am a alcoholic.To the folks out there that are scared just starting the program or coming back in,we love ya'll very much and know where you are coming from there. Was awhile in the program(a few months) before a friend helped t set me on the road to how to use the BB. Was informed to take every statement from Doctor's Op. on and to turn it into a question and then take time to think and be very honest with myself, as it says in "How it Works".So looking at the first step was no problem for me to see that my life was unmangeable(Spiritual).Owed money for about everything used my paycheck for drinking instesd of bills, had to drink first thing in the morning just so I could go to work, and at the end was going to lose my wife and two kids. All because I was doing something that only hurt me.So yes just atid of unmanageable there.Now "powerless over alcohol", had to take a look at my obsession and craving. When I drank and even wasn't drinking for one reason or the other alcohol was always on my mind and so came in the obsession part(mental). Then after taking that first drink was not able to have just one so the craving was there also(physical).And as I have been told and truly believe today that we suffer from a three fold illness of the mind, body and spirit.These are the things that helped me see that I was and still am a alcoholic after six years of sobriety. For me I have to take that first step everyday for the rest of my life, cause if I don't believe it then I will truly drink again. Now as always the main thing is to find a sponsor that can help you take a look at these steps we have for recovery and anew way of life.What can it hurt,to find that you may not be a alcoholic.Or to find that you are. Cause if you are you be in the right place. Enough of me blowing on .The topic of gratitude is one that my home group always will fall back on for lack of a topic for without it where is our sobriety really at. For me just quit job about 3 weeks ago and now am truly grateful for that. Cause it was my Higher Power and the fellowship that helped me get here today without the want or the excuse for a drink. And I amgrateful for the group of ya'll out there that are sharing here.Ipray that we all have a nice sober day tomorrow. til the next time Love Ya'll Stonewall
Member: Anne C.
Location:
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 11:06:29 PM
Hi! My name is Anne and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful for every one of you out there. This is my beginning and it is rough. I did not drink for 10 years--don't know how I did it--but took a drink a year ago and let the genie out of the bottle. I did not go to AA before--scared--am going to go to AA now. I know I must stay sober--I know I will die it I don't--I know I need help. The daily craving is hard--just had it for several hours this afternoon. A note from a friend and finding this website have helped me through. God bless us all!
Member: Terry B
Location: Appalachia
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 11:22:49 PM
Hi all, Terry here, grateful recovering alcoholic. I've been sober now 7 1/2 yrs. AA saved my life and gave me a life. Funny, I was just thinking about one of those most precious things that AA has given me. My dad. When I had been sober just a few years I decided to build a house near my parents home. Just a few months after I had moved in my father had a massive stroke. After a lengthy stay in the hospital he came home. He could not speak and he was in a wheelchair. I, thanks to AA & my higher power, was able to help care for him. If I had been drinking I would've ran. I got to spend 3 wonderful years with him before he died. Our relationship had never been better.
Member: Toddy
Location: Ruidoso Downs NM
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 11:52:05 PM
Hi everybody, great to read your letters! I'm Toddy, a very grateful alcoholic. I'm grateful today because when our pickup broke down and we ended up having to get a tow truck to haul the pickup and our daughters' belongings that were loaded in the back I didn't go nuts and react hysterically. I owe that to being sober and knowing that I can handle life's mishaps without freaking out now. My husband thanked me for being so easy going about our problem today. It was easy to remain calm, not so long ago I would have headed to the nearest bar or nearest beer and thought I had a reason to get drunk, "after what I'd gone through"! Sound familiar? I am so grateful for God, the program of AA, my peaceful life, my serenity, my friends, my family, everything that has been given me as a result of my putting the plug in the jug. Life's too short for us to get upset about little things that happen day to day. I know this now. Used to be I loved chaos and disorder, I thrived on crisis, these things gave me m excuse for the moment to 'escape' into alcoholic haze. That way of living is gone, and good riddance! Thanks, Toddy
Member: Lynda VR
Location: Boulder Junction, WI
Date: 10/15/00
Time: 11:52:23 PM
Hi, I'm Lynda, and I AM an alcoholic. Can really relate to relapse - been there and done that regrettably. The only good thing I can say out of it is that, YES I'm still an alcoholic. If I pick up that first drink - I'm done for, it's a downward spiral. Because the way my alky mind works I just keep drinking and drinking, always I'll quit tomorrow or on this day or that of after this or that - I'm dead if I pick up that first one because guilt and self loathing sucks on me like a blood thirsty leach on my soul! Thank GOD, literally I've gotten back on track, 2 weeks sober. Going to meetings, and focusing on staying sober just one day at a time. Allowing myself to feel good just being sober - not making myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically ill with that "wonderful" drink.
Truly cunning, baffling, powerful - picking up a drink in spite of knowing that the outcome is always the same disgusting, self-destructive scenario. And can only be explained as a disease - because it knows no boundaries of logic, intelligence, education, or prosperity or lack there of - it is totally indiscriminate. It will destroy me and you to no particular end at all. It always, always, always, leads down the same path. It gives true meaning to the old saying "he(she) who forgets the past is condemned to repeat it".
I am so grateful to be sober and reclaiming MY life one day at a time. Thank you all for helping me to know "I'm not alone or at all unique.........Lynda
Member: mary beth b.
Location: brandon,fl
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 12:19:58 AM
hi everyone i'm mary beth b. this is my first time on line. i've been in recovery for 11 yrs now. i'm truly grateful it feels funny saying that especially at this time. my father bill b. passed away sat am. he followed meinto this program and we were able to mend our relationship and build a new one all because of this program. i miss him terribly and will miss him in mtgs as will all our cohorts. i understand what terry b. meant and was feelin g when he shared his gratitude having been able to spend a sober 3 yrs with his dad. this program is a way of life and so very beautiful and blessed i have'nt the space to tell all this way of life has done for me and my family only that i'm so happy and GRATEFUL! i encourage those struggling not to ever give up, keep coming back the miracle will happen if you'll get out of thee way and let it. love and hugs to all of my new cyber friends. meb
Member: Linda K.
Location: OH
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 12:52:53 AM
To meb, my condolensces on your recent loss. You have an admirable attitude, you do know you are not alone, keep up the good work - "acceptance is the answer to all our troubles today."
Member: Jay
Location: Pac. Northwest
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 1:06:29 AM
I am a gratefully recovering alcoholic of 3 months and 5 days. Yeah, I know about relapse and it's scary. The more tools you learn, the more you can use. I had relapsed so many times in my 20plus years of AA that my doctor put me on antabuse. I am grateful for modern medicine, too. I stayed sober 1 year 15 years ago with AA and antabuse, then spent another few years as a binge and periodic alcoholic. Not good enough. With antabuse I can stay sober well enough to practice the steps. I too am scared as me doctor thinks I should try to go off antabuse next month, at the end of a year on it.
Member: JeffG
Location: Louisville KY
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 1:46:16 AM
Hi everyone. Jeff G here; and, I am an alcoholic. This is my first time involved with any type of AA. I never thought of myself as anything more than an occassional problem drinker; though, my wife thought otherwise. Last year, after a particulary nasty argument, I was sober for 4 months; but,went to visit my brother in the country and thought "a few beers wouldn't hurt". Almost one year to that day, my wife and children will be leaving due to how much and how often I have drank this past year. I am DEFINITELY an alcoholic. I am grateful to my wife for having the courage to leave and am looking forward to my first meeting this week with both enthusiasm and fear. Thanks to you all, your successes are inspiring and encouraging. JeffG
Member: Andrew
Location: Cornwall U.K
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 4:21:36 AM
My names Andrew, I am an alcoholic. Thanks to all those who have shared so far. I've been slipping into self-pity (it happens so fast !!) recently and I'd lost sight of my gratitude. Thank you all so much for helping me this morning. Keep coming back .
Member: Greg
Location:
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 5:50:48 AM
My name is Greg and I'm an alcholic, I have 18 years of soberity and if there was an easy way to get sober I would have taken it. JK I'll sugest a few things. Go to a live speaker meeting and just listen, pick up and an AA Big Book if you don'thave one. Read Chapter I and 3. Keep it simple, just try that to start with. This is the best web sight for AA That I found so far and its a good place to start so see you next week and let us know how you are doing.
Member: Greg S
Location: ALASKA
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 5:52:11 AM
My name is Greg and I'm an alcholic, I have 18 years of soberity and if there was an easy way to get sober I would have taken it. JK I'll sugest a few things. Go to a live speaker meeting and just listen, pick up and an AA Big Book if you don'thave one. Read Chapter I and 3. Keep it simple, just try that to start with. This is the best web sight for AA That I found so far and its a good place to start so see you next week and let us know how you are doing.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West Fl.
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 7:31:36 AM
Hi Family Charlie Darling a very GRATEFUL recovering alcholic, and this is one of my favorite topics, as when I was first in sobiety when ever we went to a meeting and noone had a topic there was a fellow of 30 some odd years would always bring up the topic of gratitude, and he said you have to have gratitude for everything, and a grateful heart is a sober heart, and I always remember his words, and God Bless him for his ESH that he has taken with him to the great beyond but he has left so much for us all to pass on. Yes Bruce I know what you must have felt to be there for your family and to be sober, as I too now have a relationship with my daughter that I always thought I had, but did'nt know we had nothing until I gave up that drink, and today I can look back and see how I had hurt her even though she never said anyhthing, and now I can see the love in her that I guess I never saw before, yes we do see things differently now, and the things I see most in my life are Gratitude and love for my fellow man, and I never want to lose that, as it feels good and I never thought I could feel this good without a drink, and today it is terriffic to be sober and above all grateful and the AA program as taught me all this and I did'nt know I should have been taught this before, I guess coming from an alcholic family there was no gratitude, but hopefully today I can show them all that there is a better life with out alchol. I don't need it and I am happy and very GRATEFUL Love you all
Member: Russell H
Location: Australia
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 8:29:46 AM
Dear JK Miami, you know the answer but choose to live in the problem. Don't pick up a drink one day at a time under any circumstances and get to plenty of face to face meetings. I too was a succesful executive in a major corporation and thought I was smarter and better eqipped to cope. When I arrived at the detox unemployed and unemployable something started to click. Life doesn't have to be like that. Chapter 3 is all about me, is it about you too JK. God Bless
Member: Mary K
Location: Boston (Raynham)
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 9:25:50 AM
Hi all! Mary, alcy
Andrew in Cornwall, UK: wow! can I relate to where you are, self-pity does creep up and replace gratitude. Easy to get into, hard to get out of (for me). I am continuously sober for 12+ years now, go to meetings regularly, ask for help from my HP. The reason I say that is to remind myself that regardless of how long you have been away from a drink I will ALWAYS have alcoholISM -- it is not alcoholWASM. I am no better or no worse than any other alcoholic - I am still, and always will be, a candidate for a life of drink. To think that I can take sobriety for granted is insane.
I have sooo much to be grateful for I could spend days (literally) listing them. This disease is indeed cunning, baffling and insidious - it never ceases to amaze me with it's power. Give it an inch and it takes a mile. Reading the posts from everyone has certainly helped, and for that I am grateful. All any of us has is this moment and it will never repeat itself.
God bless all - Mary
Member: Kara P.
Location: Philly , PA
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 10:05:00 AM
Hi everyone, i need help !! i am trying to get sober for the first time. i have just realized that alcohol is ruining my life. well, not just my life, but the lives of everyone who is close to me too. in the past month i have been picked up by paramedics and police, i also almost burned my house down. my family has given up on me. my mother gave me 1 week to get out of her house. i am feeling really crappy about all of this. and i know i HAVE to stop drinking for real this time! if i don't , i know that i will loose everyone and everything that i care about. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME ?!
Member: Leslie M.
Location: Collegeville, PA
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 11:01:33 AM
Dear Kara,
Please drop WHATEVER you are doing and call Intergroup of Southeastern Pennsylvania (they're right in Center City, Philly, on Chestnut Street). Their phone number is 215-923-7900, for meeting times and places. This is a local call for you, but there is also a toll-free number that they can give you if you should ever need it. There are a lot of wonderful groups in the Philly area and this call can save your life. God bless -- Leslie M.
Member: Leslie M.
Location: Collegeville, PA
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 11:09:02 AM
To Kara, in Philly,
There's another number for Intergroup that I want to give you, just as a back-up ... 215-574-6900. You can let them know that you need meeting times and places, and please let them know what part of the city you're calling from. They can recommend meeting places closest to where you live. I can't say enough about AA - it is a God-given program that brought me to sobriety while I was busy ruining my life and the lives of my kids. It will help you, too. But you need to make the call. OK? Love and God bless, Leslie M.
Member: Jeremiah A
Location: Atlanta
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 11:20:39 AM
Hi...my name is Jeremiah and I am an alcoholic...I got a second dui back in march and have since had to change my behavior a bit...I realized that my behavior was becoming destructive to everything around me and that i i did not stop then i would end up killing someone or myself...life has been a little different without the influence of alcohol, but i'm getting through it with the help of my friends and family...just thought i would drop a line to you guys...
Member: Jeremiah A
Location: Atlanta
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 11:20:57 AM
Hi...my name is Jeremiah and I am an alcoholic...I got a second dui back in march and have since had to change my behavior a bit...I realized that my behavior was becoming destructive to everything around me and that if i did not stop then i would end up killing someone or myself...life has been a little different without the influence of alcohol, but i'm getting through it with the help of my friends and family...just thought i would drop a line to you guys...
Member: JimB
Location: Roi Namur,RMI
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 2:14:20 PM
Hi all JimB. here, happy to know I'm an alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. I once heard at a meeting that my gratitude speaks when I share my expierience strength and hope with another alcoholic so that together we might stay sober for one more day. I've been needing to work on being grateful myself lately. Things are going very well for me on my job. I have recently recieved a promotion and raise but I still can't seem to shake this feeling inside that I am not good enough etc. So I know the program teaches us to suit up, show up and let God take care of the results. That to me shows some degree of responsibility and courage. In the past I would run to the bottle. Today I am able to think things through and walk, one foot in front of the other through these situations. Thanks for 12 stepping me. Jim
Member: Sulphur
Location: Lake Fire!
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 2:30:40 PM
I'm grateful for finding out through the AA program that this world is nothing but a globe of deceit! They lie to you from the day you were born, till the day they put you back into the dust, from which you were formed! You lose your breath for the last time, and down, down you go! A stinking 60, 70, or 80 years that pass like a puff of smoke! And yet they continue to say, "ye shall not surely die!!" By god you're "immortal" as they pass the basket, and if you don't put enough in, it's off to "hell" you know! You'll burn! burn! burn! and burn somemore! What hogwash!
So that's what I'm grateful about today!!
Member: val h
Location: Bucks Co, PA
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 4:49:17 PM
Hello everyone, and thank you all for being here...for that I am grateful. Thank you also for reminding me to read my gratitude list today, and add new thoughts to it. I am grateful today for choices--like where to drive to a meeting as opposed to being intoxicated and unable to drive. I am also grateful for the support of all in the rooms which helps keep me sober. I am grateful for the changing of the seasons and that I can enjoy it this year! I am grateful to have a job, to go to work faithfully, and to be told that I am conscientious. Jay, I am glad you are having success with the antabuse. I, too, was put on it to help with my impulse control, but I decided when I wanted to drink, and didn't take my pill purposely. The bottom line is, that you really have to want it...then it will work, pill or not.
Ian, a friend with terrific sobriety summed up my problem with searching for excuses to drink. She told me that I was not "entitled" to a drink, bottle,... no matter what. I thought that a bad day, argument, financial problems... would give me good excuses to drink, and I did. The whole entitlement issue...I have used up my right to drink, it doesn't work for me anymore, and no excuse entitles me to drink. Period. She also reminded me to play the tape the whole way through...remember the ugly. Thanks for listening and for helping me to stay sober today.
Member: Ann M.
Location: Montgomery County
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 5:03:40 PM
For any newcomers to AA, or people who are investigating the program, I'd like to assure you that we are not the least bit interested in having you believe that the "world is nothing but a globe of deceit," as posted in the message submitted by "Sulphur" from "Lake Fire." Perhaps that person's message was intended as some kind of misguided joke, but regardless of whether it was or not, it's vital that there be no misunderstanding what AA is about, as stated by our 5th Tradition: "Each group has but one primary purpose--to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers." Further, as our 10th Tradition states: "Alcoholics Anonymous has no opinion on outside issues; hence the AA name ought never be drawn into controversy." Our purpose is to help each other to become, and to remain, sober.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 8:17:18 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!
I've read some great shares here! Gratitude has been a problem for me in my sobriety because of chronic health problems. But slowly and in fits and starts, it seems I am becoming more and more grateful for the gift of sobriety.
In fact, this gratitude is more a product of underlying joy, which is one of the great benefits of staying sober in AA.
Member: Mark D
Location: Manchester, NH
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 8:51:02 PM
As I saw I was scrolling to the end of the "meeting" so far I was letting all the helpful comments come together in my head - and then I came across "Sulpher"--! One of the truly wonderful things about a cyber meeting is to hear from and relate to folks from all over the world. The downside is cheap cranks like Sulpher. I seriously doubt that he'd have the testicular fortitude to disrupt a face to face meeting.
What I wanted to say is that I too relapsed recently. Lynda of WI really captured that misery for me. I'd swear that we went out on the same bender. Looking back, it seems to me that I was adapting the program to my life instead of the other way around. I'm changing most everything about my life that I can because I just don't trust my head. Negativity is too ingrained in so many aspects of my life that just not drinking isn't the answer. My sickness will creep back into me slowly like a fungus if I let it. Thanks for all of your great comments folks.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City, UT
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 9:52:04 PM
Hi, I'm Bob, an alcoholic. Bruce: great topic for me too, and our anniversaries are so similar. I'm 1/18/83. I've so much to be blissful about today, all due to the fellowship of AA (you people), and God. My oldest daughter remarried recently to a wonderful man, who seems to love her children and gets along so well with them all. He's about 30 years younger than me and is such a great example, for me, of what a human being can be. That my daughter would let me this far into her life is a miracle. There was a time when my family would want to know where I was going to spend a holiday so they could make plans to be elsewhere! Not so anymore, and again, due to AA. Enough of my rambling. Grateful to be able to share a little with my friends here. Love and respect to all, Bob
Member: cindys
Location: calif
Date: 10/16/00
Time: 11:39:42 PM
Hi! I'm Cindy and I'm very grateful to be sober today. I have a life today and have had for almost 13 years now. If you are a real alcoholic just remember that you only have to not pick up today! All you really have is today so try having a little graditude in your attitude and God Bless!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:44:28 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:47:11 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:47:29 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:48:14 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto,Pa
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:48:35 AM
Hi I am Jack,a real alcoholic.Gratitude is a great topic.I have been sober thru God's Grace, the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous since the 23rd of November 1983.If I am honest, with myself, my gratitude list should extend to the west coast and back, but being human, it doesn't.There are days that I feel like I am owed this, how terribly self-centered.If God gave me what I truly deserved, I would not be able to handle it.I will never say I am grateful to be an alcoholic, I am not proud of what I did to myself and to others because of my drinking.I am grateful though that thru my greatest character defect, an alcoholic,I have found a wonderful way of life thru these twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.Life is life,joy is optional, the joy of living for me is these twelve steps, and for helping me find this wonderful way of life I am eternally grateful to the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous. God Bless!!!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:48:41 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:48:58 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:49:03 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:49:47 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA. H.
Location: SAC.CALIF
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 2:49:57 AM
Hello!
My name is LEEA.H from Sac. CA. today 10-16-00 has been a really hard day. Im feeling some feelings that I really dont like. You know the word HALT well all of it but the L has been taken care of.I even went to a meeting and talked to new comers, plus kicked it with some friends, I sill feel the lonely- ness.Please can some one HELP!
Member: LEEA.H
Location: SAC.CALIF.
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:11:28 AM
My name is LEEA.H. I have 4 years of sobrity,and I sill need Help! Please! Im going through some feelings of lonelyness.I have done everything that has been put in front of me by friends and my sponcer.I even gave it to GOD! now what?
n
Member: LEEA.H
Location: SAC.CALIF.
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:13:07 AM
My name is LEEA.H. I have 4 years of sobrity,and I sill need Help! Please! Im going through some feelings of lonelyness.I have done everything that has been put in front of me by friends and my sponcer.I even gave it to GOD! now what?
n
Member: LEEA.H
Location: SAC.CALIF.
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:14:14 AM
My name is LEEA.H. I have 4 years of sobrity,and I sill need Help! Please! Im going through some feelings of lonelyness.I have done everything that has been put in front of me by friends and my sponcer.I even gave it to GOD! now what?
n
Member: LEEA. H
Location: SAC, CALIF.
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:22:31 AM
OOPPPS! Im new at this so bear with me.
Member: SKIBO K
Location: WV
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 7:26:23 AM
I'M SKIBO AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. LEEA CALL YOUR SPONCER,GO TO A MEETING, AND WORK WITH SOME NEW PEOPLE IN THE PROGRAM.I HAVE FOUND THAT ITS IN GIVING THAT I RECEIVE. KEEP ON KEEPING ON. ONE DAY AT A TIME. ALSO WHAT STEP ARE YOU WORKING ON TODAY? KEEP COMING BACK.
Member: David B.
Location: KC MO
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 11:37:20 AM
I am David Alcoholic. Just to add to Skibo that meditation and prayer in the morning to start my day off is a must for me. I am looking forward to seven years in feb. and this last week I have had some body cravings, a thirst and I have had these come up and of coarse dont want them but as an alcoholic I must continue to work a spiritual program of action and that is the 12 steps of AA that has worked for me It is these shorcomings that get me into trouble and we all know what the root of our troubles are selfcentered and selfisness driven by a hundred forms of fear sel delusion self seeking and self pity but must continue to recognize these to progress. A personal inventory and when we are wrong in our thinking Judging and acting promptly admit it and do what the direction tell us to correct the wrong. Thank You for this site it is helpful and hope fully some one else maybe helped.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 12:14:31 PM
lately,and for the simple reason i havn't attended as many face to face meetings as i know i should,i've felt warning signs of relapse,defensiveness,i don't care attitude,easily angered,self pitty...first it's this stuff then comes the drink,so it's safe to say i'm in relapse mode.today i missed a daytime meeting,i went yesterday and realized i still can't do it alone.i have to reread some things on relapse and get my butt to more meetings .i'll try to be agreeable today,and unafraid,keep things in "this day only".i know i will allways be an alcoholic i can't afford to be sidetracked in life and forget the basic things that kept me sober (and happy) for so long....that is working at the program and showing up for meetings....i just wanted to get that off my chest,thanks for listening ,to know i have a tool kit that will help me gives me lots of gratitude......i'm tony an alcoholic
Member: Craig L
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 12:35:14 PM
I’m Craig, a grateful member of AA Thank you all for the sincere sharing. When I was using I spent every ounce of energy I had, getting and using anything that would get me high. I was working only so I would have the money to get more alcohol. I rarely had any “paid personal leave”. As soon as I got close to 8 hours then, I felt I was entitled to a “day off”, buy a few bottles and spend the day and usually a couple more days hiding out, flat on my back with the blinds pulled, “medicating” myself. I’d email the office with some fantastic lie, then I was terrified when the phone rang, and if the caller ID showed it was either the home office or a client I went into deep despair and anxiety. The voicemails might get 25+ deep. Then when I did show up feeling like sh*t in every sense of the word, I had to continue and maintain the lies about my behavior.
Yesterday, I took the day off, the second time in 6 months (I have weeks of paid personal time available). I called my current client and the home office and told them, I wanted to take some personal leave, but I was available should anything come up (and I was really available). I’ve been feeling a bit distracted since I found out about a close family member having a deadly cancer. I spent the day getting some exercise, going to a meeting and having lunch with my sponsor. To some this may not seem like much, but to me this is a true miracle of the AA program. In the midst of a crisis, I have serenity. Today, I’m sober and present with the energy and enthusiasm my clients deserve. I’m thankful for the sanity of my life today.
Member: mike
Location: ks
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 12:52:14 PM
im mike, an alcholic, this is my first time to a site like this, its pretty neat, i do not have time to goto regular meetings because of my work schedule, i hope this helps, good luck to all, ill check in later
Member: Bear
Location: Smokey Mountains
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 1:38:24 PM
Gratitude. Without the fellowship of AA and the support of its members and my cyber pal <<MK>>, I might not be among the living today. My past life as a drinker in reflection is like I was a zombie. Just going thru the day like a robot until the magic hour (happy hour) and the poison ritual began. Day after day. The selfdestructive cycle we are all too familiar with. This is so so much better. Bless everyone here...... Bear
Member: steve r
Location: haledon
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 1:59:45 PM
hi my name is an alcholic
Member: me
Location:
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:05:08 PM
steve r., your on drugs arnt you?????ill bet your on more then haledon you fool
Member: allen
Location:
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 3:07:10 PM
hi deb, you ole coke whore you!!!!!!
allen
Member: Right On!
Location: Babylon
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 6:52:49 PM
I am grateful that Sulphur has the determination to post such things, as what he says is very true! Of course If you do not know what the Bible teaches, well then you are definitely laboring under the lies put out by the endless multitudes of false-prophets, who only want to enslave you in fear of their devious designs! I am an Alcoholic you see, and when I was actively pursuing a career of trying to escape all the things that I just could not get along with, or accept, I was more or less in tune with the lower powers of the universe, that are referred to as demons. I had no understanding of God whatsoever! When I looked at the step to take a searching and fearless moral inventory of myself, I slowly was brought to the realization that I had no real understanding of what was right, and what was wrong. So I had to allow myself to grow into getting an understanding of what I had to do to get myself in tune with some power that would help me straighten all this out. At first I depended on AA to help me with this, and by doing this I started to get a better understanding of what God could and would do for me, if I continued to grow and keep my house in order! They told me in my religious upbringing in a Catholic parochial school that god was a vengeful god who tormented people in eternal flames of fire for all eternity, if you did not worship the pope, the Catholic Church, and all the clergy that were in it; treating their words as law which you must bow down to! I was to later find out that there is no such place as a "hell" where they torment people! So I was enlightened with the fact that demons run the Catholic system of things too! In fact all who teach this horrendous blasphemous doctrine of purgatory and eternal torment are all worshippers of demons! In fact this whole world is run by demons! Both Bill W and Dr. Bob were on the verge of finding this out, but got waylaid by the false-prophets, such as Father Dowling, and others and never got to see this. (((Well I did, and I like to pass it on)))! God, as we should understand Him, is a God who is slow to anger, and abundant in lovingkindness, to those who seek refuge in Him! That is a brief rundown on the difference between the Higher and lower powers of the universe. The following URL can help you understand God a little better, regarding the hell-fire malarkey they through around! http://dawnbible.com/hell.htm
Yes! ((Fire and Sulphur)) that's what they need!!
Member: Bud S. 12/27/91
Location: Under the X in Texas
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 7:41:24 PM
Bud S. Alcoholic in recovery. I certainly wish everyone believed as I do. Then again that's what I like about the program. It teaches me that until I let everyone else have their own belief systems and I mean everyone, then will I experience the true freedom to believe. So I believe that if I don't drink I won't get drunk. Thanks Bud S.
Member: ymm
Location:
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 8:59:57 PM
if you pour powdered sulphur on your feet and light it,it burns a cool blue colour,but its hot as hell on the feet though,and smells like rotten-egg farts bad.try it youll like it.
yellow-mellow-man
Member: s&M
Location:
Date: 10/17/00
Time: 9:16:23 PM
sweetmeat
Member: Pat S.
Location: MN
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 1:06:09 AM
Hi I'm Pat, I'm a very grateful alcoholic. I am filled with gratitude today. 6 1/2 years ago I thought my life was over. I was kicked out of my house, getting divorced,trying to accept the fact I was an alcoholic,going to treatment, and I was a bartender. At the time everything seemed overwhelming. I had to find a new job, a new place to live, and new friends. A.A. taught me patience, and how to trust my Higher Power, and how to be trustworthy. A.A. also gave me many new friends,true friendship is precious. In the last 6 years I have been very busy getting involved with my sobriety. And little by little the promises are coming true for me. I have a nice home, I got remarried to a wonderful woman, and I've got a great job doing something I love to do. A.A. and you people gave me a beautiful gift that I can never repay, but I can give it to someone else. Thank You, Pat
Member: Luke
Location: Midwest
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:03:45 AM
Hello, all.
I went to an AA meeting once, after I was jailed for a DUI. I didn't like the label of "alcoholic", nor the idea that any disease is a permanent affliction. I practise alternative medicine and have seen many miraculous recoveries and "cures".
I stopped drinking for a week, then started, then stopped, than started, etc.; and the cycle of black-outs and abusive behaviour resumed.
One week ago, I became physically abusive and pushed my wife and 5 yr. old son (I'm told). During this episode, I'm also told, I would count back from 10 and when I reached O, I would let out a primal scream that scared the ---- out of my wife and children. I hope I exorcised the figurative demon....
My wife did not come home. I had been deeply alone, razor-blade near me, for a week till last night, when I met my wife at a therapist's office.
I hope that I am cured; I never want to lose awareness of my actions again. My wife wants me to go back to AA and frankly I'll do it for her and my children. I'll try to be open. I don't however accept that any disease is permanent.
I am grateful to find most of you to be both "human" and "humane". Does anyone feel as I do?
I have not drank for nearly one week and intend to continue searching for the cause that led to this "symptom". I am however a bit scared to attend a meeting where everyone places a scarlet letter on their chest. I'm scared to go by myself, without my wife, whom I love deeply; I think I'm more scared of losing my family permanently.
Thank you all for sharing.
L
Member: Luke
Location: Midwest
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:08:52 AM
I failed to mention that I'm also very grateful to my wife, who finally found the courage to leave me. It facilitated my transformation. I miss her and my children terribly. I pray that we can once again be a loving family.
Thank you for reading this; please comment.
Member: SandyD
Location:
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 5:43:28 AM
Hi. I am an alcoholic and I desperately want to become sober. My husband is a drinker and he also smokes pot daily. My husband is not supportive of my desire to quit drinking. I am going to an AA meeting tommorrow and I hope that I can stick with it. I don't get wasted or anything. I drink about 3 glasses of wine nightly and it makes me feel like crap the next morning. I know that there would be so much more for me in life if I stopped drinking. Any comments?
Member: Julie H
Location: Ohio
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 7:52:40 AM
Hi, All! Julie here, alcoholic. Thanks for the topic of gratitude, which seems to pop up in meetings whenever I'm tending to feel sorry for myself. When I stop and take time to think about all the things I have to be grateful for, life becomes beautiful and joyous again.
To Luke in the Midwest, one of the things AA gives me that I am truly, truly grateful for is the ability to accept things that I cannot change. This includes the fact that I am alcoholic, and that there is no cure for alcoholism. If alternative medicine had a "cure," I can assure you that all us alkies would be at that web site, and not this one. AA has, however, helped millions of people achieve "miraculous recoveries." This is evident at any AA meeting.
I've never felt that, by going to meetings, I was readily putting a scarlet letter on my chest. However, my arrrests that resulted from my drunken tirades did just that.
I hope you will go to meetings, find a sponsor, and experience the miracle that is this program. Good luck, and you're in my prayers.
Also, to everyone here, I am so grateful for this site and all of your sharing. I always hear exactly what I need to hear when I visit this site!
Member: Anil G
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 11:44:09 AM
I am grateful to God for being alive today .I was an alcholic and a drug addict for 10yrs and since 3yrs sober I see a start of a new life for me I was in DT's and had a near death experiance when I stopped. I can never stop thinking how my wife supported me and help to walk through a new beginning.
Member: LeslieT
Location: woodbridge, VA
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 12:56:05 PM
where can I find a list of meeting places and times in Falls Church and Woodbridge, VA?
Member: LeslieT
Location: woodbridge, VA
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 12:59:50 PM
where can I find a list of meeting places and times in Falls Church and Woodbridge, VA?
Member: Dr.D
Location: N.E
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 1:37:14 PM
I'm grateful that I have a job after what I pulled last week. I came to work drunk after amonth &1/2 sobriety. I proceeded to drink more at lunch and ended the dayin a meeting with my boss and the owner of the company. My boss informed me today that although he supports whatever I need to do to get better--the next time I'm through. Period. I'm not worried about picking up any time soon, as the consequences are catastrophic. I'm working the program as best I can--but how much of feeling like a total pile of sh*t is natural and acceptable ---and when does itstart tearing at my already fragile self esteem and eventually the quality of my sobriety? Can I be grateful and still feel like I'm a pile of shit at the same time? thanks for being there.
Member: David
Location: Butcher
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 2:06:56 PM
Hi,my name is Dave im a recovering alcoholic addict.I am very gratefull each and every day when i am able to see how amazing my three children are.I owe them a thousand thank you's for being here and coming into my life from day one and helping me realise what is important and what is hindering my growth as a human being.So i truley beleive that without there presence in my life everyday i would not be half the man i am today. thank you
Member: mel w.
Location: the wedgee king
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:00:24 PM
DR. D., if one feels like a pile of s***,then maybe one is a pile of s***!!!!!just jolking!!!!but it all seriousness......you might have to do some serious brown-nosing to keep that job of yours.
melvin wedger
Member: mel w.
Location: the wedgee king
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:00:37 PM
DR. D., if one feels like a pile of s***,then maybe one is a pile of s***!!!!!just jolking!!!!but it all seriousness......you might have to do some serious brown-nosing to keep that job of yours.
melvin wedger
Member: Don M.
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:19:45 PM
The Man’s Story
There was this man who was kind of an average man. He worked hard and when he drank, all the stress from working and life in general began to work on him. After about a month of constant every day drinking, the stress started showing. One day he had an argument with his wife and things went from bad to worse. He was an avid handgun collector and user. While in the argument with his wife he decided to play John Wayne with one of his guns. He went outside with the weapon and shot at the ground when his wife was standing next to him. While this was going on, the man’s daughter pulled up in her car and saw the situation that was going on. The daughter ( in fear for her mother ) called the police. Before the police could arrive, the man jumped into his vehicle and sped away. After a short period of time the police caught up to him. There were 8 squad cars with 16 police officers. They trapped him by blocking off both ends of a side street. Then 4 squad cars ( 2 from each end of the block ) pinned him in until he was actually cut off into a residence’s front yard. When the man finally stopped the vehicle. The police with their PA system shouted “you have only one move, put your hands out the window NOW!”. This should have been the end of the story, but as two police officers approached the man in the vehicle he was waiting for them. When the officers got within arms length he punched each officer. One to the left and then one to the right. The officers went right to the ground. Almost simultaneously. 5 more officers tackled the man who was then arrested. While in jail he was told of the 4 felonies he was charged with. 1-Attempt to do great bodily harm to a police officer 2-Resisting arrest 3-Possesion of a firearm while intoxicated 4-OUIL. This man thought at the time that his only problem was to get his vehicle out of the impound yard. Was he ever wrong. The man’s attorney told him that he could be looking at 5 years jail time. The man had a brother in law who was a detective at that very same city police station. The brother in law went to bat for him by calling each officer at their personal home. He explained to the officers who this man was and the officers dropped all charges except 2 minor misdemeanor offenses. This was a break of a lifetime. Not only could this man have been shot by the police, but he could of hurt somebody else. This incident happened October 21st, 1992. Since this time the man knew he had hit his bottom. He horrified his wife and child. He busted himself financially with attorney fees and not to mention he still had this disease called Alcoholism. Now this man had made amends for most of his mistakes except for the emotional stress inflicted on his family. This is something that would take the rest of his days. Now this man is a help to society. He is active in the Alcoholics Anonymous program. He is trying to help others from getting into the self-destructive lifestyle he was in. At the present time this man is living a normal life and enjoying 8 years of sobriety, he is happy with his situation of every day life. He feels comfortable most of the time. His best way of relaxation seems to be when he is with his wife, grandchildren or actively involved in the AA program. Things have changed in his life, God and his personal footwork gave him serenity. The man in this story is me. I am telling this true story to show how strong I feel about my sobriety and the will to change my life. The best way to look at this story is that this would be my Open Talk. It’s to show how I hit bottom and surrendered to Alcohol.
Sincerely, Don M.
Member: Francisco Rivero
Location: Orlando, Fl.
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 3:38:17 PM
I'm Francisco, I'm not an alcoholic, but I understood the rules of this life... I've got a DUI ..and today is my last class with AA.. The key in my life is just to live 100% natural as I can... no drugs..no alcohol, no nothing.. I love exercises and travel... I can kill my stress drawing or running.. I love help people who think I can help them!!! congratulations for everyone who doesn't use drugs anymore...
f/..
Member: dave n.
Location: us
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 4:52:25 PM
francisco, i too said the same thing when i got my first dui,that i wasnt an alcoholic.i was17 then.ive been in and out of treatments,jails,and aa meetings,ever since.i will be 44 in december.i havnt drank/or drugs in 8mos.now.this is been the longest time yet for me.im still unemployed, go to a few meetings...but my life is still really messed up right now;finantially,medically and most of all mentally.ive really lost a lot of memmory/cordination,and cognative thinking process,im pretty much a mess all in all.i cant remember what my point was.....but....anyway see what i mean,i still cant remember what i was going to say. thanks,dave n.
Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 5:14:45 PM
Good Afternoon to all who read and post on Staying Cybers Discussion Meeting.
My name is Tom A., a GRATEFUL SOBER ALCOHOLIC TODAY, by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this Fellowship we call A.A.
Joe L. a crusty old Marine told this Swabbie early in my sobriety that being Grateful for my daily sobriety would protect me from taking that first drink One-Day-At-A-Time. I took his advice and I tell myself every morning that my name is Tom Anderson, a greateful sober alcoholic by the grace of God and thank Him or Her for this new day of sobriety. This as worked for me and I offer the suggestion to you. My sobriety date is July 25, 1960 and I still go to at least one meeting a weeek and belong to two online groups and also click on to Staying Cyber from time to time. I truly love everyone who post their words. Afterall this is a suggested program of recovery and It is working for me today!
Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!
God Bless - Tom A, ate@gte.net
Member: Way Out
Location: Euphrates
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 7:23:17 PM
Did you ever see this one?
http://www.eliyah.com/forum2/Forum1/HTML/001915-3.html
Member: Way Out
Location: Euphrates
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 7:24:50 PM
Did you ever see this one?
"But you have made it a den of robbers!!" at:
http://www.eliyah.com/forum2/Forum1/HTML/001915-3.html
Member: sue b.
Location: New york
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 8:00:36 PM
This is the first time I've been to this site. Thank you all for your help. I was ten years sober and then decided 6 years ago that I was a social drinker. Well, we all know where that leads to. I'm am desperately trying to put it back together one day at a time.
Thanks for listening.
Member: JOHN L.
Location: PROSPECT PA.
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 8:34:12 PM
HI, JOHN L. I HAVE ABOUT 2 MONTHS CLEAN AND FEEL PRETTY GOOD TODAY. IM GRATEFUL FOR HOW THINGS ARE GOING WITH MY JOB,FAMILY ETC. BUT STILL HAVE THOUGHTS OF DRINKING EVERY DAY I CANT WAIT TILL THESE CONSTANT THOUGHTS AND CRAVINGS START FADEING.WELL ONE DAY AT A TIME. THANKS JOHN L. ALCOHOLIC
Member: Margaret L.
Location: Indiana
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 8:55:27 PM
Sue B - grateful I'm sober today and you are back. You know what you need to do - forgive yourself and do it. Meetings , Meetings Big Book and a sponsor. Stay grateful - I too went out after 10 yrs. This program, the people in it and lots of prayer and gratitude and step work - I now have 18 yrs. You and I are a miracle - my problem is remembering I'm the receiver of a miracle and not the creator of one. Prayers, love and peace to you.
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/18/00
Time: 10:03:18 PM
I am so grateful that when I came to AA, (for the second time) I heard a woman with years of sobriety say "I never heard of anyone who asked for a day of sobriety in the morning and said thank you at night go out drinking again." That seemed simple enough for even me to do, so I started doing it, even though I didn't really believe in God, and by some miracle, I haven't had a drink in sixteen months. Long enough for the fog to clear, long enough to get a sponsor and make some new friends, long enough to understand the importance of working the steps and reading the Big Book. Thank God for AA and each and every one of you. For any and all newcomers, please...these people know what they are talking about. Sobriety and all its gifts is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Love to all, from Melissa, an alcoholic.
Member: Luke
Location: Midwest
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 12:04:32 AM
I'm grateful that I found this sight.
Julie H., thank you for your response.
I got to see my children today and that was heaven. Then we had to say good-bye and that was hell.
I spent over an hour late last night with a wonderful person named Nora on an AA telephone hot-line. I had called that number not because I was craving a drink but because I was deeply lonely, in anguish. I terribly miss my family. Because I chose to drink to ignore my deeper problems, I did a lot of hurtful things.
I am not an alcoholic and I am not in denial. I do not want, need or in anyway crave alcohol. I just want my wife and children to come home.
My wife's family and my Mother and Sisters had a secret meeting with my wife, Christy, where they told her that she shouldn't come back to me for a while, that I'm an alcoholic and will continue to drink unless I check myself into a clinic, that I'm a danger to my children, etc.
I do not want a drink!!! I just want my family back. My children pleaded with my wife, "please we love Papa; we want to go home!" I understand that others probably mean well, but to label someone as an "alcoholic" is sometimes more harmful than of benefit.
Thanks for comments and the many personal communications. I feel less alone. But let's keep in mind that drinking is a symptom that masks an underlying dis-ease.
Love to all,
Luke
Member: DennisC
Location: S VA
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 2:50:57 AM
LeslieT, we are fortunate in VA to have good online meeting lists. Here is a pointer: http://www.aavirginia.org/GroupFrameSet.htm Click on the day of the week, then the city.
To all, thank you for your stories of gratitude. I was struck in particular by Mark D's comment, "adapting the program to my life instead of the other way around." It would seem that is what I've been doing of late. The meetings seem more trouble to get to, yada, yada. Recently, I've been blessed by having my sons live with me again. They are both getting straight A's in school (wasn't the case, previously) and I can see their eyes look to me, now that I'm sober, to learn what a man is supposed to be. I feel so blessed, and yes, grateful, to have them with me again, and the opportunity to show them what dad is like, sober. I'm glad I visited tonight, as this is a "one day at a time" blessing, and its important for me to remember that.
Thanks again, all.
Member: Jeff
Location: West Michigan
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 4:06:46 AM
Hi, my name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Gratitude is a topic that I always need to hear about. I am one of those ex-drinkers who sometimes forgets how bad it was and how much worse it could be.
Luke- your posts help me and I thank you. I wish you the best. Being an alcoholic is not so bad - the best thing is that if you have a desire to stop drinking that qualifies you for AA. Going to AA and staying sober does not guarantee that you will get your family back - but you will be present for the occasion if it does happen. Be careful. There are many paths to sobriety and happiness in AA -.....
I believe that I am an alcoholic because at some point in my drinking I lost control ...I also found that I could not stop on my own for more than a month or two. When I was on these wagon rides I was restless irritable and discontent. I kept thinking some how some day I can control and enjoy my drinking. When I got off the wagon I was soon right back where I started...drunk, in trouble.
I have found that by showing up at AA meetings whenever I can, reading the big blue book, and attempting to work the steps outlined in the book my life has gotten better.
Find someone who seems to have his stuff together at one of your local meetings face to face, ask him if he has worked (and is working) the steps of AA; and if he say yes ask him if they will help you take the steps. You may end up at Denny's or his house one or two nights a week. If the first dude doesn't seem to help ask another guy to help. It is simple but not easy. One alcoholic talking to another...You may find some strange and wonderful things happening.
Thank you all for being here.
Member: Dan O.
Location: Palatine, IL
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 5:18:42 AM
I'm Dan, I'm an alcoholic. I have a lot to be grateful for in my life, starting with my sobriety Without sobriety, I would loose everything. My freedom, my family, my self esteem, my job and on and on... It is easy for me to get caught up in self pity and loose true perspective on life. Sobriety and the good things that come with it are gifts. I need to stay in the right place with my attitude not to forget that. The program helps me with that. Many people are still out there and suffering without the freedom that sobriety gives. I have been blessed with sobriety, health, family, job etc. A.A. has changed my life.
Thank you all.
Member: Sue
Location: new york
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 7:47:48 AM
To Margaret L- Indiana. Thanks for your response. Is there anyway you would be willing to correspond through e-mail or instant messenger with me. I could really use to talk to someone one on one.
Thanks for your help.
Member: Ernie G
Location: Stratford Ont.
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 11:56:02 AM
Hi my name is ernie,i;am an aley I have so much to be grateful for.I;am sober 22 years now and have the respect and love from my family and friends witch I never had before. I have family members that could use this fellowship but are not ready yet.That will come in Gods time.The good news is I have a sister who has 4 years this Dec.and A steptson who I call my son who has six months through the love of god and AA.I can;t thank you enought.Each time I see my son he tells me he loves me and I him so my friends I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your AA friend ernie g.
Member: LJ
Location: WI
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 1:59:35 PM
L: Adict Alcoholic Relapsed. Resentments are our number one enemy. My father-in-law recently died and we went to AZ and CA for the funeral, etc. Old resentments came up in very pleasant forms. But it was simply criminal behavior on my part with a smile. I over extended myself and manipulated in the most pleasent ways. I gained controle of the books and proceeded to sweetly bad mouth, and caution the executors about how they could not trust the persons that I had resentments toward.
Yes, I have been wronged by these people. But if I had been looking at them as sick individuals, rather than evil in-laws, I could have worked my program instead of inventorying them. I did not realize at first that I was in danger. I was far from the physical ability to relaps and thought that I could dabble in controle.
A friend in the program asked, what did you loose. I nearly lost a dear, dear friend. My horse foundered while I was sleeping it off. I need to keep a clear head, chin up and clean and sober for him. We have a path to walk togather. My higher power does not punish. I dropped the ball. Please help.
Member: David B
Location: Phoenix
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 2:06:12 PM
Hello everyone,i wish you all great success with your sobriety.Its a struggle for me all the time allways weighing the pros and cons.Sometimes, acctually most of the time i find that i lean more towards the old behavior sometimes i think that when i get of probation im gonna smoke fat blunts all day long and love it.It is something i have done for 15 years of my life and allways defended marijuana because i allways felt it was my first love.What im getting at here is without the trials anr tribulations there would only be false hope.Good luck to you all and God bless
Member: Ellen M.
Location: S.E.
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 4:44:32 PM
I have 12 + years sober and have always seen a very clear line between being sober and using. This past year, one of my best friends went back out and my husband, who was sober and in the program when I married him, has gone out three times for drinks (that I know of). Today, my best friend and a sponsoree told me that she was having trouble sleeping and took an anti-depressant that a friend had given her. These things make the line seem a bit fuzzy to me. I am clear that I can not do this. To me this is no different than if I can't sleep and take a nightcap. Granted anti-depressants do not work like sleeping pills and when prescribed by a doctor and used according to directions, are very good and effective treatment to the underlying depression many of us have, this just seems like the same energy as using. I don't know what to say to her. I am concerned for her. If it were me I would consider it a slip. I have, needless to say, started going to Al Anon to work on most of this, but I am in an AA sponsor/friend quandry.
Member: Linda P
Location: Florida
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 5:56:26 PM
Hi all, I am a greatful recovering alcoholic of 20 years 24 hours at a time sometimes 1 minute at atime. I picked up somewhere in there when I watched my brother in law start moderately drinking and controlling it quite well I thought. JK I can understand how you feel. First I started thinking this is a little scary but I should be able to do it and besides I have A.A. if I need it I already know it works. Now is that sentence insane or what. I had a drink in one hand and a coke in the other one vacation just in case I couldn't handle it. I started snow balling my thinking to I can put a little something in a large coke and no one will ever know. I got myself thinking about it first thing in the am then all day then I went out and found myself with a six pack and a bottle. I was scared. I am very greatful that I made it to a meeting right away, funny, I felt like I was home after being lost. In my experience I had to think too hard to drink. Normal people don't have to do all that. I was told early on we don't get to these rooms by mistake, and people who don't have a problem usually don't show up here, they are busy getting on with their lives. I am very greatful you all are here and I can recall this experience thank you JK for being here I had forgotten how it was. Hang in there and keep signing in only you know if you have a problem, I am greatful today that I had the problem of alcoholism, this program has taught me how to live better than I ever could have imagined. God Bless Linda
Member: NoraG
Location: Corpus Christi
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 6:12:18 PM
Hello! I a grateful recovering alcoholics. It is so reassuring to hear your comments--let's me know I'm not only in my disease.
Member: AZbill S
Location: Sierra Vista, AZ
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 7:18:24 PM
Hello everyone. Been a long time since I have posted. My name is Bill and I am an alcoholic. I am not particularly grateful that I am an Alcoholic, but I am grateful that I know that today and I am grateful that I know what to do about it today.
I read Bruce's qualification, his opening statement if you will. It brought back fond memories.
In 1973 I trashed a wife and six daughters and got our of the Navy because they all were getting in the way of my drinking. My thoughts at the time were "Now I can drink as I darn well please." It did not take very long for me to graduate to the alley and living in a converted chicken coop, decorated in early poverty. In 1981 I sat down my last drink and walked out of that barroom never to return again to a barroom to drink. On day 6 I attended an AA meeting and on day 7 I started through the Big Book with my first sponsor who was in day 1. :) That is not a typo Folks.
Since that wonderful day, my former wife, my six daughters, and now my hubby in law are all back in my life. I have been involved in four or their marriages walking two of them down the aisle. One put me in a Tux and sat me next to my former wife to honor me as her "real" father, My hubby in law walked her down tne aisle. The youngest reserved a "second first dance" just for me with a special song. MY hubby in law was to get the first since he raised her. God shot here: The disk jockey fouled up and played my song first. LOL. My daugher just shrugged, said "OH well" and we danced the first dance.
Very recently that youngest daughter mentioned she had lost track of my birthday. I wrote that was ok I was grateful that she was back in my life. Or rather I said they were always in my life, painful as it was. I was really grateful the my daughters, my former wife and my hubby in law put me in thier lives.
Her answer to that was. "Dad, It took all of us some time to grow up" :) Thanks for the pleasant memories Bruce.
Bill az-bill@primenet.com
Member: doug
Location:
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 8:02:17 PM
david b.,
i can relate to the probation part,as it really sucks,and so do the fees when you havnt a job. good luck,and wish me the same!!!
doug
Member: shabuka
Location: upstate, ny
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 9:02:01 PM
hi everyone, my name is shabuka and i am an alcoholic, an addict, compulsive, impulsive, and just plain old messed up. i do attend a daily 12 step program,but i have a hard time going to meetings in my town because(and i'm not taking others inventory) every time i've gone i always hear about something said in the meeting. i am grateful that god sent me to this cybersite. i am having a hard time tonight because there is a lot of noise going on in my head,( worried about getting high, wanting a job, worring about my relationship,my son. ) but i do know that first things first, so right now i just need to deal with this urge to get high. i know that part of the reason is because i live in a place where there is a lot of drug use. (an apartment complex) i did stay clean here before for 7 1/2 years, but for the grace of god. i know that i am going to have to move, but i've lived here for 31 years. thnaks for letting me vent, i feel better already.
Member: lorne
Location:
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 10:30:18 PM
goodluck shabuka we wish you the best
Member: Margaret L.
Location: Indiana
Date: 10/19/00
Time: 11:38:15 PM
Sue - New york Yes - how can it be handled privately - I'm new to on-line meetings love this site but prefer not to post my email. Haven't a clue how to do it techically - I'm here for you and prayers are with you. Your sister in Sobriety
Member: Chris P
Location: York, PA
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 12:43:49 AM
Chris P from York back again. I drank today. I had almost 3 years of sobriety and about a year ago I picked up. I can't geet back to the place I waas. I think about drinking every moment of every day. I go to a meeting every day. I pray. I read. I journal. I am just miserable. I feel that the only way out is suicide. I have a husband who loves me and three children and two grandchildren. I know it would devastate them if I killed myself. It would be selfish and I don't want to do that to them. I just don't know where to turn. Nothing seems to help. I just want to drink but I have to stop. I'm making everybody miserable-especially myself. If anyone can offer any support or advice, I'd appreciate it. I'm really desparate.
Chris P
Member: Brent
Location: Idaho
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 3:56:01 AM
Can anyone provide me with a list of classes/seminars in the Boise, ID. area?
Member: linda p
Location: Florida
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 6:17:01 AM
Dear Chris P, I'm sorry to hear you feel so miserable. I know that feeling. Theres a part in the big book that says we stand on a fence and want to drink and want to get sober. I was there. I was told when I went to a one on one counceler that I would have highs higher than any high I could imagine if I seriously joined this program. So I did, I was at the bottom. No where else to go but up alcohol didn't do it for me anymore. I have had highs like no other drugs or alcohol, in this program. I got a sponsor and did what she told me I went to meetings and listened to everyones stories, What a blessing I am so greatful I did. Try to hang in there it seems you are at a turning point. This is where you can turn your life around. Get to a meeting or seek out a christian counceling for alcohol and drugs. They seem to be free and sensitive to our needs. One step at a time one day at a time you will feel better as the stuff gets out of your system but you must put something positive in its place. AA you have taken your first step hopefully your last drink. Thanks for being here,you reminded me how painful it was before I got into the program. I asked a God of my understanding to help me, I couldn't help myself. Ask.....! Sincerely, I am sorry, I am linda a recovering alcoholic
Member: Sue B.
Location: New York
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 12:36:55 PM
Margaret L. Thanks for responding. I am feeling much better today. The suicidal thoughts are not with me today. I feeling stronger day by day. I've been trying to figure out how to get into some of the actual real time meetings that are online but so far have not had much success. I'm going to work on it this weekend.
I really think I can get back on the right road by taking it moment by moment. I can't even do one whole day at a time yet. I'm sure that will come.
Thanks to everyone I really enjoy reading your comments.
Member: Linda F.
Location: New York
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 2:47:24 PM
Hello My name is Lindaand the sun is shining and I'm glad I am sober. Sometimes my expectations, resentment and fear can stop me from seeing all the truely precious moments that life offers me a moment at a time. sometimes I am too busy moving to stop and smell the roses. Well yesterday October 19th at 3pm my dear Louie passed from this life. He was an old man who let me sleep on his couch when I was just getting sober after a five year relapse. This is almost six years ago. I am grateful for the angels in my life. Sometimes my disease wants to feel always as if I am being slighted or not enough but it's not about money and what I receive is a blessing I can tend to compare that he left more blah to others ya know in the midst of a blessing I can feel neglected or like whatever. But I am truely blessed that's the miracle that I am sober and I've been given a second chance more than a second chance a life. And then I feel sad because I could'nt do it all but htat's why he had so many other friends and he looked out for even the doorman I mean I don't have to carry the whole world on my shoulder but sometimes it feels like I didn't do enough I did my best. God has truely been good to me thanks for listening.
Member: Jen Seward
Location: Driffield/East Yorkshire
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 7:20:06 PM
Hi! my name is Jen,after reading the coments tonight i realise i am not alone. At times i feel like i am the only one in the world struggling. Today i am struggling with my 3 children, i am finding it unbearable at times.I feel like i am younger than them at times,i want to be the best i can and bring them up sober.If there is anyone out there with some healthy tips i would be most grateful. God bless every single one of you. Good night god bless
Member: Toy I
Location: Pago Pago, AS
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 9:03:50 PM
Hi All, I'm Toy and I'm an alcoholic. I haven't been on this meeting for quite a while now. Over a moth, I've been trying to do it on my own andits so damn hard. I'm now 50 days sober again after one replapse. I know I need to keep working my protgram and my steop. I also need a sponsor.
We have one meeting a week with 4 members now. So I am grateful for this site. I am also grateful for my family, friends, and business. I am grateful for all the little neccesities I have. but mot of all I'm grateful to be alive. And those are just a few of the things off the top of my head. Thanks to AA and all of you.
Member: Chris C
Location: Manchester NH
Date: 10/20/00
Time: 11:28:05 PM
Hi all,Chris C here,good to here you all,negitive and positive.JK ,not to long ago a women,tjhe founder of a moderation drinking program while drunk ,killed two people in car accident in Mass,i think. If you do not know if you are a real alcoholic or not,get a Big book and read the chapters on the doctors opinion+more about alcoholism.then you will have to decide for yourself.If you come to the conclusionthat you are,the suggestion is read at least the first 164 pages,the make a desision to work the progam to the best of your ability.also this program is for potential alcoholics,as discribed in the intro of "they stopped in time",stories about people having been saved years of infinite suffering. I would just like to add,i am new to this pc stuff but not new to sobriety 25 yrs in dec,one day at a time,by trusting in GOD and the first 100 members.they never let me down,never lied to me,never mislead me.For that i am grateful. THANK YOU GOD!!! Oh yah special Hi to Mark-Manchester NH
Member: Chula H
Location: Az
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 3:10:24 PM
Chula here: In response to your question regarding your "fragile self-esteem" I can share a little of my experience, strength, and hope. Like most of us, I too, came in with little self esteem, memories of broken promises, unacceptable behavior, etc. My self esteem improved in direct proportion to the changes I made in my life. A real commitment to the AA program, as opposed to just sitting at meetings waiting for something to happen. As I worked the steps with my sponsor, made a genuine effort to practice the principles in my life, I gave up the lies, the cheating, the self deception and broken promises, and I discovered a new self respect and a freedom I had never experienced.
I believe it is impossible to fool my innermost self. I now know there is no way I can kid my self and feel good. (not that I've never tried, still do sometimes). I've learned it just won't work.
What works is not what I say, but what I do with my life. It's not always a romp in the park but it sure beats drunk.
Have a happy life, love and prayers for all.
Member: Jo M.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 6:08:11 PM
I can so relate to JK and Chris P. I was also sober for three years, then convinced myself I didn't have a problem. Things were OK for the first year or so, but now I am in up to my eyeballs again, and really finding it hard to get back to the place I was. I am grateful for my wonderful husband and two beautiful kids, and know I am so selfish for acting this way...my advice to JK is to ask yourself why it's so important to take that drink again? If I could do it all over again, I'd never have picked it up. Thanks for listening :)
Member: otis
Location:
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 6:10:52 PM
i am phsycaldelic help me
Member: delbert
Location:
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 6:41:37 PM
otis, drop the bucket now.stay away from the mushrooms!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
delbert
Member: Eddy G
Location: Bryan
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 7:11:07 PM
My name is Ed I'm an acholic. I'm grateful to be alive but the only way I can do it is to take one day at a time. I have to work my steps. I'm still working for the real sober gratitude. Hopefully I can stay sober and do my sobriety through AA. Thank you, Ed
Member: Jo M.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 8:53:28 PM
Not sure how conversations about psychedelic mushrooms from otis and delbert is supposed to help, and how it relates to gratitude - inside joke? As a typical alcoholic, I'm feeling a little left out and taking things personally...???
Member: Linda P
Location: Florida
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 10:15:57 PM
Hi All, on the lighter side of things....I am a greatful recovering alcoholic and I am so glad I can come here and listen or read your comments. I just saw a really funny, truthful movie, its called 28 days it stars Sandra Bullock about a recovery program. It really touched me. Good movie. A lot of but for the grace of God there go I. in it. really brought back what it was like what happened and what its like now. Thanks for being here and sharing . Linda P
Member: Kathy S
Location:
Date: 10/21/00
Time: 11:48:14 PM
HI, I have been in and out of meetings since i was 19. Presently I am afraid to enter the meeting room doors...here i go again. I am glad i found this site. Didn't realize that AA was the same everywhere. I am in out-patient rehab and not doing so great. May have to go inpatient if i cannot get a grip. I can stop drinking but i cannot stay stopped. It seems that the obsession wins. Need to get a hold of the HP concept. Irritable, restless, and discontent in Indiana
Member: Leigh F
Location: Peterborough, Ontario
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 2:38:55 AM
JK it doesn't sound like you are asking for help. So you read an article that said alcoholic behavior can be modified...so what!?!
If U read an article that said that there is proof we all have a second life would U commit suicide just to test the theory?
I had to fully accept step 1 in order to stop drinking (with God's help) of course).
Sounds like you need to try some controlled drinking...good luck with that.
Member: David B.
Location: KC MO
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 12:45:04 PM
Hi I am an alcoholic. Kathy thanks for sharing It takes a psychic change. that is our attitude and the way we see feel and do things. In the big book it says upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recoveryfrom alcholism has manifested itself among us in many different forms. I hope you may find one of these forms or A God who may help you spiritually in action by the grace He provides for us.
Member: LU-LU
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 1:10:36 PM
OH M' GOD,LUCY,ALCOHLIC! THIS IS MY FIRST TIME HERE TO THIS SO CALLED MEETING. I DID'NT CATCH THE SULPHER STUFF, CAUSE I COULD HARDLY STAND ANY MORE. HOW IN THE HECK COULD ANY PERSON STAY SOBER BY LISTENING TO AEROSMITH AND DOING 90 "meetings" on a computer, dude get a real sponsor! del, i wish you had a life to, matter of fact i'm gonna pray that you get a sponsor,read the beautiful big book, the 12&12,do the steps, learn, about the traditions, and how to apply them ALL to your life,thats what i had to do to get a life. 1/2 measures coupled with self pity always seemed to avail me nothing, never 1/2... nothing.. rich r; i'm an alcohlic, ARE YOU? or are you so different and unique, maybe you are a comidian .excuse me i'm still very sick which is why i get off on taking everyones inventory. i just can't help myself, when i hear such crap.read ALOT about "relapse".... NEWSFLASH... relapse does NOT have to be a part of recovery as a matter of fact the beautifull big book addresses this says " WHY DO THEY DO IT (PARAPHRASE, READ IT YOUR SELF) THEN ABOUT A PAGE LATER SAYS ITS BECAUSE, THEY FAILED TO ENRICH THIER SPIRITUAL LIFE, not that they failed to take enough antibuse... IF YOU ARE NEW TO ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS, AND WANT TO STOP DRINKING(OR USING) I ENCOURAGE YOU TO ; READ THE BIG BOOK,PREFERABLY ABIT DAILY,READ THE 12&12 IT TALKS ABOUT THE STEPS& TRADITIONS THESE THINGS HAVE CHANGED MY LIFE, BY READING,YOU WILL BE ABLE TO KNOW WHAT ALCOHLICS ANONIMOUS IS,AND PICK YOUR ELDERS ACCORDINGLY, IF I HAD NOT ALLOWED MYSELF,THE WILLINGNESS TO LEARN ABOUT WHAT A.A.IS I'D PROBABLY HAVE LEFT A LONG TIME AGO.or picked "sulpher"as a sponsor!
Member: red
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 2:40:03 PM
wow lulu, that was some speech you gave there.i think del and otis are out on the farm,they dont really have a life,cause there phsycadelicly mushing around in the cow pastures,picking them shrooms ya see.there lost in the cosmos of another demention........whooooooooo.
Member: LU-LU
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 3:56:11 PM
hello chris p sorry you are so sad. i remember hearing in my early meetings; don't kill yourself in the first 5 years ,cause you will be killing the wrong person... you mentioned "journaling,praying, and a couple other things i too, have been directed to do since i arrived, some other stuff they taught me to do were; have a sponsor,who i was to call everyday(this went on for at least 5 years) now i talk to her a few times amonth, and i have a few other elders i can go to,in 7 years 1 month & 21 days i may have missed 15 meetings, of course i have to read my books DO THE STEPS and try to apply them as well as the traditions to my life,you say ALL you think of is drinking... sounds VERY dramatic, ..they taught me a few things to do to combat self pity and SELFCENTEREDNESS,(since faith;i.e.;prayer. without WORKS IS DEAD) write a gratitude list, they asked me what color my a*s hole was..that took a while to get what they meant by that.. (my head was up there, ) told me to HELP SOMEONE ELSE. said that if my mind is on THE PROBLEM it gets bigger,BUT,when and IF i focus on the solution the problem will go away. have you read pg. 25 cause there really is a solution.. ? is, are you willing to try something different. don't worry dear there will always be drama cept' it'll be far more interesting.it's called "quality problems" chris? WHAT ARE YOU GREATFULL FOR?
Member: LEO. W
Location: AA
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 4:25:37 PM
hi leo wanker alcoholic IF YOU DON'T LEAD YOUR LIFE SOMEONE WILL LEAD IT FOR YOU.MISERY LOVES COMPANY.THE PERSON I WAS DRANK THE PERSON IWAS WILL DRINK AGAIN.THE ART OF LIVING IS MORE LIKE WRESTLING THAN DANCING.KEEP IT SIMPLE LOVE U ALL .LEO
Member: ed
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 4:36:36 PM
i hear you leo !, its usally the cops,courts,and jails too, right?
ed
Member: bb
Location: NYC
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 6:10:22 PM
Hi everyone . This is my first time on line here and thank you to all of you who share your experiences ! I drank like a fiend last nite and feel terrible today. I drink heavily at least 2x/week and I'm tired of it. I plan to go back to AA meetings near work tomoro. I'm so glad I found this site ! God Bless everyone. B
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 6:31:04 PM
"But for the grace of God," and the gratefulness thereof; yea we have a reasonable service to present ourselves unto God, this is our responsibility as it's defined nowadays. Grace is opposed to nature and nature to grace, they are contrary the one to the other so that you can not do the things that you want to do, if you be a follower of that grace. Grace as it's defined is obedience to the faith whereas nature as its defined is what's called self will or the following of that sinful nature that is against God.
"There is a whole nother guidance system that is there to be had!" This is the way I first explained it as I described it in AA sometime ago. A guidance system that does not follow the mind or the inclination or the sense or the eye or the necessity at hand; When God begins to move inwardly by the holy spirit it is said we have the mind of Christ: what this means is that there is another with us inside us ever present in the movements of our members to soften our necks and to lead us thereby, and though he speaks without noise of words, he is there in a sigh or a command, by a yes or no by a stay or by a go.
It has amazed me often how that God has by this "unspeakable gift" that we are to be thankful for, led me and guided me in all things that ever I did need since my following and not one word did he have to speak! In the book of James in the new testemant it tells us that words are more or less un-needed, it says we are to be swift to hear slow to speak and slow to become angry and that the tongue is a world of iniquity, but I never thought that giving thanks unto God for his unspeakable gift was a literal thing, what a surprise and what an adventure is this walk of faith rather than sight.
I hope I have stirred you up somewhat on this Sunday to lay hold of this: That there is a nother guidance system to be had apart from the one we have known from our youth, He is father that works from within rather than from without, one that doesn't go off to work in the morning and leave his children alone till he returns that evening, one that taps us into the Power and Love and Sound mind of the Godhead bodily, one that says: "Come unto me all ye that labor and are heavy ladened and I will refresh you saith the Lord." God bless you and keep you....
Member: AGNOSTICS
Location: STY SBR 2
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 7:01:58 PM
A GOD OF OUR OWN UNDERSTANDING PLEASE DON'T CLUTTER MY HEAD WITH YOUR RIGHTIOUS JESUS CRAP, THO I DO HAVE MANY FRIENDS WHO "WORSHIP" JESUS, I EVEN LISTEN TO A COUPLE PREACHERS IN THE MORNINGS... THIS (A.A.) IS SUPPOSED TO BE A S P I R I T U A L PROGRAM. QUIT SCARRING THE NEWCOMERS, AND KEEP YOUR JESUS-FREAK CRAP TO YOURSELF!!! THANK YOU
Member: A little humbler than U
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 7:21:54 PM
When I grow up I want to be full of spirituality like LU-LU. Well...she's full of something
Member: NOT AGNOSTIC
Location:
Date: 10/22/00
Time: 7:26:10 PM
I don't promote my belief in detail at meetings but AGNOSTIC seems pretty screwed up and close-minded. I think he needs Jesus. LOL