Member: Kelly F.
Location: STL
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 8:25:19 AM
Hi ((e eryone)) If I am first, I'd like to discuss how the program has changed other areas of your life in addition to no longer drinking. So many times I've had an "aha" moment and been so grateful to realize that I could have NEVER experienced that moment unless I had stopped drinking.
Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 8:46:24 AM
Well that is huge. I love that my house is cleaner, I take time to make it nice. Just adding a table cloth or putting tea bags in containers is something I wouldnt have bothered with. I also know how movies end. I remember who I talked to, I remember what I said and did. I sleep very well and have very little anxiety. I get the mail and dont freak if there's a bill I can't pay right away. I answer the phone after 9pm and can talk and listen. I am available for my sons 24/7. The reasons to drink are disappearing each minute.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 11:07:25 AM
Hi. Bill here, alcoholic from Arizona. Good topic, Kelly and one that needs to be discussed more than it is. The longer I stay sober through the Steps, the more I find out that this program is less a stop drinking program and more a start living program. My drinking affected all areas of my life. My recovery affects all areas of my life. I graduated from college in recovery. That was the first time in my life that I took something from beginning to end without knowing the results. I once went over five years without being late for work nor missing a day. I couldn't even work the last year or so of my drinking. Now I realize that God, or whoever you believe in kept me healthy enough to do that, but I was the one who set my alarm and got up and drove the 12 miles to work. That includes snow days. :). I was terminal in 1994, but my sense of humor and attitude saved my butt. I owe that to you all and the program. I now have my former wife, My hubby-in-law and my six daughters back in my life. Or rather, I am back in their lives. I am welcome in all their homes and do so every year. I am published in two medical journals. Not too shabby for a dude that once scribbled a check so badly the bank had to call me for verification. On the mistakes side. I have missed payments. Quit two jobs, got fired from one. One company closed on me. Life is good. Today I take responsibility for my actions, and my mistakes. There you have it. Warts and all. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: PappyPaw
Location: Michigan
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 11:34:03 AM
Thank-you Kelly F., I am PappyPaw, I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and I am very happy to be here this day. A wonderful thing happened to me right off this morning, I awoke sober. Because of this I have a choice on how I will spend "Today". I think I will celebrate by giving myself another day of soberiety. What a wonderful subject Kelly, The welcome change in our life as a result of living sober. At every meeting we hear, "my girl left me".."My dog died".."I lost my job".."I have slipped"..all things that went wrong "Today". Seldom do we hear "What went right TODAY!" I awoke sober..I have found a way to live so I do not have to drink..My wife has not called the cops..my family is not over helping her pack my things..the dog did not try to bite me...Best tho was how I felt about me....I can forgive me..I even am starting to trust me..I am proud of the things I am able to do now...People cross the street to talk to or just say hi to me..it is OK to be me TODAY. The change that came to me by using the "Spiritual Tools" of AA to live "a new way of life" is to me, a devine blessing... Saddly, an alarming few take advantage of this great gift. Thank you for the wonderful spiritual gift Kelly F. PappyPaw Mich ><>
Member: Paul B
Location: UK
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 11:58:08 AM
My names is Paul and I am an alcoholic. Well, AA certainly has changed my life in all areas. Perhaps one of the most profound areas to experience change other than my not drinking is in my work. To put it mildly work was my God well in to my sobriety. My persona was caught up in the work I did as a sales manager and my personality was bulit to a large degree on my job title and how successful I was. This made me pompous, egotistical, loud and many more attributes you would not want your kids to have. I strove to be made a director of my company, because this would then make me whole. I worked long hours and travelled a lot of the time. I got rid of anyone who did not make the grade, and don't get me wrong, I tried to help them, but if they could not hack it then they were no good in my team. I sold my soul practically for a position. Then I got it and then 2 days later it was taken away. And that is when I realised all of the above, that is when it hit me that my priorities were wrong. That is when I saw that it should have been prnciples and not personalities. I did somersaults to be liked, to gain recognition for what a title gave me. When I should have been more concerned with my reputation as a human being. I allowed myself to be abused, so that others would like me. Well not anymore. I quit the job, downsized to another company, spent more time with my children and am finally starting to get a quality of life where I feel good about me and you and the world. I would sooner be remembered for doing dsomehting good for someone thatn having an important title. Thanks AA.
Member: Madeline C
Location: California
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 12:01:05 PM
Hi all! I'm Madeline with 3 years (almost); I loved the list so far: from teabags to showing up to work every day! I'm home today because I've moved and my stuff is in chaos so I can't get to a meeting until tonight. My youngest went to college last week, I've sold my home, "scaled down" by renting an in-law appt and I bought and will rent out a condo in Oregon. I would never have been able to do this before sobriety!!! (at least without a lot of self-pity, resentments, yada yada) In fact I woke up resentful and negative; I decided to find this online meeting and read from my big book before I start organizing again. I'll call my sponsor this morning too and process a few things; so, I guess balance and healthier thinking are my biggest gifts - living my life on a spiritual basis as such an antedote to my alcoholic brain! Thanks for being here!
Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 12:28:02 PM
Jeff, alcoholic. AA has changed so many other area`s of my life that its hard to list them all. But i guess that if i had to sum it all up in a few word`s it would be this, "today, it don`t suck to be me". Thanks...
Member: Dawn
Location: California
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 12:37:10 PM
DOS 1992 Good Topic. First, when I was drinking, I had a little dog, Uku. For years she never knew when I would come home or with whom. Fortunately, I got sober and her last three years with me, she knew where I was all the time. I never had children but I imagine it could be the same. Uku was a great dog and the bars got more attention than she did. I now have two dogs who are so spoiled. I love that I give them the attention they desire. I also am grateful for the way I deal with problems and disappointments. I now take the negative and see it as a growing period. I have been living in a city with high crime and people around me that drugs and guns are their way of life. At first fear was my friend and drinking could have been sitting right next to fear. Because of my financial situation I had to live in this city but with the help of my family and a government program, I am moving at the end of this month to a 2/2 mobilehome on three acres in Clearlake. This is what my plan was and now I will be able to hold it in my hand. Have horses, plant a huge garden, my dogs to run all over the place. A creek beside me, stars at night. If I was still in the bottle, I would still be in fear. My Mom was raised on a farm and I know she is looking down right now and saying, God Bless you girl. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: Bonny G.
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 1:19:24 PM
Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic, Good Morning Friends! That's what has changed since I got sober. I have friends, and I enjoy the company. I was a loner when I did the biggest part of my drinking, afraid you'd find out about me. Today it is great to be a member of the human race, and I thank God and the unity of this program for that. I have resolved to do the best I can in very aspect of my life, my job, family and friends, and to be a useful member of society today. It was my sponsor who told me to "live in the now." And I have to stop myself sometimes and remember that I can only make plans for tomorrow, but that even those plans are subject to change. I am very glad to have "grown up" in this great program. I don't throw the fits I use to, even in early sobriety. I am learning "how" to allow other people to be just who they are also. And that has been a big accomplisement for me.
Member: jj
Location:
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 2:12:49 PM
jj,alcoholic. thanks kelley. honesty, the promises, and "right size" have made me the person i never new i could be. i love it. booze worked to make me what i thought i wanted to be -- bigger, faster, stronger, smarter.....-- but, when it turned, i shrunk to nothing. sober with this way of life so many of my old ideas seem so unimportant. i often feel weird being sober out in the mainstream because what brings me happiness doesn't much match up to what brings happiness to those around me. but i don't seem to care. i love that. i'm being someone i couldn't imagine, doing things i thought were for others to do, and experiencing things in life i never knew existed. i love it. sober, that world between my ears is just way too small. i read that bill w. wanted to call the big book the "way out." i guess he was thinking of a way out of the hell of alcoholism, i'm finding a spiritual way out of the hell of my small mindedness, too. i'm finding a self i want to stay true to and seeing a larger me without the hangovers, failures, and self-hate. thank you all for all that. i believe i've begun to experience the oft-repeated, unofficial promise: "hang onto your ass, it just keeps getting better." thanks, kelley.
Member: Doug K
Location: Changing colors of W Michigan
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 2:47:55 PM
Hi everyone, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. I woke up sober this morning. I woke up grateful to my HP. I woke up knowing that as the day unfolded I would find many situations to be helpful to others. I woke up knowing that I would witness the beauty of the world around me, of people and places. ...knowing that if I chose, I would spend the day in serenity, with humor and kindness. And knowing that if I had half a brain and wished it to continue, then as the day moves on, I will find many opportunities to personally thank my HP for the continueing miracles of this life. Thanks
Member: Ronnie W.
Location: Chicago
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 3:09:27 PM
Ronie, Alkie here. My biggest ahh, is the fact people actually listen to what I have to say.I can hold a full conversation and have views with out the major worry of will I still be liked. Little things can make me laugh.I grow every day in some little or big way.I just like being me!!!!!
Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 4:17:38 PM
Bruce here ..a very grateful alcoholic. Thanks for the topic Kelly! I guess that what comes up for me is that for about 14 years my life was centered around drinking and drugging. When would I drink...what would I drink...how much should I drink...what if I run out...on and on. So after sobering up and no longer having my mind wrapped around the drugs and alcohol all that was left to change was my whole life. Scared the hell out of me! Had to put the old way of thinking behind and surrender to a new kind of faith other than what came out of a bottle. People in AA, church, friends, and family supported me into trying new things and experiencing life without booze and slowly, through this recovery process my life is very, very different. God's grace has given me new second chances to live a life where I am not the center of the universe and to truley learn what love is all about. God Bless you all.
Member: Valerie M.
Location: Canada
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 5:03:38 PM
Hi to Everyone! Thank you for a wonderful topic, Kelly! You gave me something to think about and really appreciate - because I have those "aha" moments all the time now that I'm sober! I'm a good Mom to a very demanding (but oh so wonderful) 7 year old, I have great attendance at work, I can really listen to people now, I really appreciate my family and my health...the list goes on and on. Today was a bit of a rough one, so thank you for making me stop and think about all the things I do have - because of my sobriety!
Member: Christina S.
Location: Phoenix, AZ
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 5:43:17 PM
Christina, alcoholic/addict. This is a really good topic. I am new to AA so my life has changed in soooo many ways! My life has a schedule, and I have found a ever changing attitude toward life, but I go to a meeting everyday, and I talk to the people who have been in the program awhile. My biggest "aha" is that I realize these people know what they are talking about!!! They have words of wisdom! That may sound silly but it has helped me to stay sober. The two things that I use the most are: 1. During the day, when you are out and about or at work, let God walk through the door first 2. Take a hot bath at night and when you crawl into bed, visualize that you are crawling into God's lap and let Him rock you to sleep They have helped me greatly! The only thing that I can say is keep sharing because there maybe people going to those meetings because they have to, but there are some that go and really do hear what is said!
Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 5:57:31 PM
Hi, I'm Anne, an alcoholic. Thanks, ((Kelly)), for the topic. One of the first things to change for me, almost as soon as my last hangover cleared, was that a lot of my anger dissipated. I was always angry at someone or something. As soon as I could think clearly much of that was lifted. I am much less prone to snap at someone. I am learning that I can not orchestrate the lives of others, am somewhat a peace with that. I am so grateful that I can do what I want, when I want to -- not to have to plan things around my drinking and hangovers. Many other things, but those come to mind.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Howard, KS
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 7:49:57 PM
Hi, I'm Chris, an alcoholic. I've only been sober four days so don't have a lot of those "aah moments" to share. I do love waking up without a headache, without worrying about what I said or did the night before. It's making each day more wonderful than the day before. I'm looking forward to life again instead of just worrying about whether I have enough beer for tonight.
Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 7:51:19 PM
Great topic ... the "aha" moment. When I first walked into the doors of A.A. It was very confusing ... How could a 'Group Of Drunks' help me to stay sober? By sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope, sharing the Steps and Traditions ... giving "aha" moments. At first the "aha' moments were about 'physical drunk' ... 'if you don't drink, you don't get drunk', or 'think the drink thru', no way could I as a practicing alcoholic get those "aha" moments. Now, the "aha" moments are about the 'drunken EGO'(Edging God Out). I think of the "aha" moments as 'jewels of spiritual wisdom and principles', a "Healing Power", as common ordinary parables teaching of how to live sober another 24 hours. Thanks, one and all.
Member: Gratefull
Location: Here
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 8:36:39 PM
LIVE: “Sparkle” I’m gatherin up my friends today And those who recognize the face As the vision that changed my mind From hate to faith Was as simple as grapes to wine As sweet as… I’m gatherin up my friends today All these hookers and soldiers and swine And would be saints all alone in the room that sparkle in their eye Play a song if they’ll come outside To see if Love will overcome This love will make us men This love will draw us in To wipe our tears away The day that I was so sweetly sung By the wind and the thunder moved by someone The feein the feelin it was so strong The giver became the gift, all one The day that I was so sweetly sung The wind seemed to whisper softly, “oh son” Don’t wait for the seas to part, or messiahs to come Don’t sit around and waste this chance To see if Love will overcome This love will make us men This love will draw us in To take our fear away Love, Love, Love ahhhhhhhh Love Hey This day that I was so sweetly sung I know now Love will overcome Love will overcome This love will make us men This love will draw us in To take our fear away Wipe our tears away! Love, all my friends are here In this city of Satan my song in the city faced with soldiers and swine Love, oh……. Ahhhhhhhahhh!
Member: Paul W
Location: Mich
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 9:56:44 PM
Hi everyone, I'm Paul and I'm an alcoholic. I've been dry for quite a few 24's..but now working to get the steps back in my life. A dreary day in Mich, but I took a walk and noticed the colors start to change, and the warm weather, something I ignored before because I got so busy with life, and got complacent with the program. I thank my HP for so many things to be thankful for.. one of which is the site.. good topic.. Thanks for listening.. PS ChrisH hang in there, and thank you for your comments.. they helped me alot!
Member: Jim R.
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 10/6/2002
Time: 9:57:21 PM
Good stuff from all. An "Aha" in early sobriety is suddenly realizing you've gone a couple of days without losing it, without thinking about checking out of the world, without focusing on how you're going to pay for the next couple of hours at the tavern. Aha! Those are the "withouts." The "withs" include entering the day with a sense of purpose, having a relationship with your kids again, moments when you are with the God of your understanding, with the day and with your sense of balance.
Member: Kelly M
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 1:06:51 AM
Hi All, Thanks Kelly for a great topic! I'm so grateful to be still alive after a 6 year relapse. I'm fresh out of rehab and the second time is worse but I made it. I have only 7 days sober but I really feel I have surrendered. I saw the sun rise today for the first time in months. I used to drink from 4pm to 4am and slept till 2 or 3pm and the day was over. All I could accomplish was one task a day. Now my life has structure between my after care program and my attemting 90 meetings in 90 days. I could relate to the above comments on ego/work. I also have a clean house and plenty of time to walk my French Bulldog. It is the little things that I have back now that mean the most. The respect of my son again (18) and my best friend is the best feeling! I know I sound a little overly happy but I feel like I have just come out of a coma. I was not just a drunk but a raging alcoholic without a lucid moment for the past 2 years so please cut me some slack :)I just thank god for the past 7 days and as they say "The best is yet to come".
Member: JimB
Location: RMI
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 2:28:53 AM
JimB happy to know I'm alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. For me the other areas of my life that have improved since getting sober have been ALL areas of my life. I did not like reality before and so that is why I was drunk all of the time. Now I am able to live in sobriety and this affects every area of my life. We talked about financial insecurity last week and I have expierienced tremendous change and growth in this area in my life since getting sober. I was never good at holding down a job before because I just couldn't deal with irritating interpersonal relationships that must be encountered in a work enviornment. I still get irritated like "a hangnail in a pickle barrel" often, on my job but the way I react to it is much differant. I have learned to work on my self and keep moving forward, while standing up for myself but not stepping on others. I think the psychic change needed to get sober also realigned my whole outlook on life so that I view and react differently to life. Before it was like having the cart before the horse and I was living my life inside out. Now I feel I have been completely realigned correctly and my life just works out almost as if by itself. My life has direction today and I am able to pursue and complete goals that I set. I have hope and tools to work on myself regarding any problem that I encounter today. Of course if that's not enough I have a connection today to a Higher Power in Whom I can tap into a never ending source of strength and inspiration. So what has changed? Only Everything! Thanks for 12th steppin me!
Member: Tom M.
Location: S. Fla.
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 6:02:30 AM
Morning all. Tom here recovering, by the grace of God and AA, alcoholic/addict. The greatest thing for me is the lack of fear. I never realized until I got sober, went to meetings, and worked the steps, how terribly afraid I was during my addiction and how immobilizing that fear was. Fear of what I did, fear of what I might do, fear of being found out and fear of maybe me never finding a way out. All that has changed and I am gratefull to all of you in AA and my God. Thanks and KCB.
Member: Kathy D
Location: AM, OH
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 8:02:08 AM
Hi! I'm Kathy and I am an alcoholic. Congrats to Kelly M - You made it back!! So many of us don't. Also Thanks for my sobriety today, you tell us that things are still really bad out there drinking and I believe you. The PROMISES on pg 83 and 84 of the Big Book outline alot of the changes the program has brought about in my life today.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 9:47:51 AM
Yesterday, a close friend, I met in AA and I took a woodcarving class. We planned for it months ahead. Before the class I went to the gym, during the class I could make eye contact with everyone. I could laugh honestly without being cynical. The time passed way too fast. After the class, I went to a meeting to see if I could be of service to AA. Thank you God for a life in AA.
Member: Marie M
Location: California
Date: 10/7/2002
Time: 11:35:15 PM
Thank you for the topic of "aha" experience. This is my first time on line and it is wonderful. Thankyou for having a place for the mind of this alcoholic. My day is usually full of "aha" moments. The fact that a God is doing for me that no other human being could do, brings me to a piece of "aha" every day. Also, watching the people around me bennifit from the promises of A.A. give me that feeling so often that I almost take it for granted and then I get lost in self to find our that God is patient, and understanding, and is waiting for his piece of the recognition and I need to give what I have been given.
Member: michael b.
Location: az
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 2:31:24 AM
hi. my name is michael, and i am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the grace of god ad the fellowship. thaks for the sincere shares. welcome newcomers. intersting topic, kelly. one intriguing realization of these aa epiphanies or "aha" moments for me is that i am become aware of the incredible simplicity of the concept at hand, which is usually hidden due to my ability to complicate things.
Member: John H
Location: Manchester UK
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 8:36:56 AM
Hi all. I've 'graduated' from the Early Sobriety website as I feel I'm almost ready to join the big boys, being 63 days sober and starting to work the Steps. My aha! moments - well two, actually.One was in Spain, on holiday during my very early days in sobriety, where I met a man called Bert from Akron, Ohio where it all started in 1935. He chaired the local AA Open meetinmgs and I went to 4 of them. They got me through what could have been 4 weeks of holiday Hell - no booze! At the end of my last meeting before leaving for home in the UK I approached Bert and said 'thank you so much for helping me - you have been an inspiration.' He replied, kindly, 'no, John, you are wrong - it is you who have been an inspiration (to us) - you kept coming back!' That was an aha moment! The second was last Saturday when I stood on the 15th tee at my local Golf Club, toeards the end of out monthly tournament. We were having to wait for the green to clear and I was explaining to my two partners how I'd decided to quit, but that I could do anything else in this world but take a drink. With that I hit a 5 iron shot 170 yds straight into the hole!None of us could believe it - spooky or what? Whether this is Higher Power at work, co-incidence or something else I don't know but it's great to be here and it's fantastic to be sober. Thanks for reading.
Member: AnilG
Location: MtVernon,IL
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 12:19:53 PM
I am an alcholic some of the areas that have changed my life has been in re;lation to work and relations with my friends and family which has improved personal efficiency and performance has improved health is better i got another chance to live or I would have died young atleast I am thankful to god for another chance, thanks to aa,
Member: Tom M
Location: Homosassa, FL
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 1:04:24 PM
Hi everyone, Tom M. A.G.R.A. Good topic. Having been recovering one day at a time for more than 10 years now, I think I can say I have seen a lot of changes in my life. Some good and some not so good, but by far mostly good. When I was at MY bottom, I was picking used cigeretts up out of the gutter, and glad to find a long one. I didn't care how or where I got my next beer as long as I could get it. I didn't care what kind of cloths I wore or even if I had any to wear. I didn't care what I had to eat or if I even had anything to eat. Just let me have that next drink. I didn't care about God cause I was sure if there was a God he didn't care about me.I didn't care about my family because I didn't think they cared about or what happened to me. I just wanted to sit on my pity pot and figure out where that next beer or drink was going to come from. Sound familiar? TODAY is a great day. I know there is a God and I choose to call Him Jesus. And I know he cares and Loves me just the way I am. Today I do care about what I eat, and I have to admit I eat pretty good, probably too good. Today I care about what I wear and how I look. I can afford to wear nice things and I do. Today I don't smoke because I quit 4 years ago and feel better for it. Today I care about my family and I have a great one and after all I put them through, they love and care about me. But it didn't happen over night. or a week after I stopped drinking or a month or even a year. It took several years, one day at a time. Today I have only stopped drinking for today. Today I will try to improve myself a little more, maybe I will and maybe I won't But today just for today with the help of my higher power who I choose to call Jesus Christ and with the help of people like you all and working this program, today I will not take that first drink. Thanks for the oppertunity.
Member: Sarah D
Location: Boston
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 2:00:59 PM
Hi Kelly - Great topic, one that I've been contemplating recently. My gratitude and humility grow with each day I'm sober, and as a result, I am able to better appreciate the wonderful people who fill my life. Greater, stronger, more meaningful friendships and family bonds. My life today feels and is absolutely amazing and will continue to be this way and get better as long as I stay away from the first drink. Thanks for being here and helping to keep me sober. Sarah
Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: 10/8/2002
Time: 9:20:59 PM
A tid bit I heard at tonights meeting; Taking the alcohol into our body puts it right out in the front. Takes us over and we begin to plan around it...at first safely, then it sneaks up and leads us down that all too familiar road of 'out of control'.
Member: Tami H.
Location: Wasjington State
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 2:03:53 AM
All of these defining moments or "Ah ha!" moments take me always by suprise. And I am grateful for the fellowship of AA and what I gather from the sharing of stories in those rooms. I am not always aware of what is being shown to me untill after the fact, and in retrospect I find an "Ah ha!" The eyeopening Higher Power that I had always had with me, I just never recognized it, came in the "Ah Ha!" of a moment and was just one of the many gifts given to me by AA.
Member: llaine
Location: CA
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 2:09:13 AM
...and we begin to plan around it..........I had been sober and a participating member of AA for over 20 years. What happened? I don't know...truly I don't....but I started to pour liquour over my fruit for dessert with the idea that I wasn't REALLY DRINKING. Of course it ended (but not until many months later with an "aha"--this is NOT working experience.) I stopped---for awhile---but find myself back with the alcohol providing that "time out" that I so desperately crave. I really don't want to drink---I don't want to plan around it---I want to live, to contribute and to have a manageable life. HELP!! I think there is hope for me....but I'm not sure.......and I REALLY DO NOT want to go down that all too familiar road of 'out of control'....please pray for me.......... c
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 2:31:20 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. Simply for me what being sober has done for me goes hand in hand with what I consider the key to good sobriety is for me. Quite simple I am useful today,, no more, no less, just useful. I have a reason to get up in the morning. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Sue T
Location: GA
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 6:11:36 AM
Ilaine, I know what you are going through, I too had several years and then started feeling like I was 'CURED" stopped going to meetings. It didn't happen to me over night but here I am six years later almost as bad as I was the first time. I forgot, cunning, baffeling and powerful. This disease has a lot of patience, it waits. I went back to what helped me last time. I didn't promise forever, just fr today. When that feeling comes over me that I want a drink (I don't really need this just want it HAH) I tell myself tomorrow, if I still feel like this tomorrow I'll have one. But then tomorrow comes and I do the same thing and pretty soon I have a few tomorrows. I WANT a tomorrow and I know that if I don't stop, there will be none. Just fo today, I will not drink.
Member: Thomas M.
Location: S. Fla.
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 6:26:30 AM
Good morning Thomas here from sunny south florida ( I'll use Thomas in deference to Tom M. from Homossasa Fl. who was here first ). Tom ever notice how many Tom's there are in AA. It's like every fourth Tom born turned out to be a drunk. LOL. Congrats to John H. for 63 days and the hole in one.My first (and only) ace was the day I realized there "was" a higher power. Hope you choke on the Ryder Cup. LOL. Anyway thanks to all of you for keeping me sober this day, I hope to have a few ahha moments today. Thanks for the Topic Kelly.
Member: Tami R.
Location: NH
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 6:33:39 AM
Those relapsing have my complete empathy.All you can do is forgive yourself and get sober again. Part of recovery can and sometimes is relapsing. You should be proud of the time you spent sober and just get back to that again. God Bless. Tami
Member: Bettybee
Location: Ohio
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 8:02:53 AM
Doug from W. Michigan said it all for me. Many thanks for the overview - it touched my spirit.
Member: Hamish
Location: Sydney, Australia
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 1:16:32 PM
Hello my names Hamish and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for exactly 12 months today (birthday). I'm starting to be grateful and becoming more AWARE. Gratitude is in my life. I still need to watch my resenments, but I am aware that I have a choice to be in the NOW and be present.I'm slowly learning to sit with my feelings and own them. As per the big book, alcohol is only the symptom. My AHA is that this is a programme about living and that I don't need to pick up that first drink. One day at a time. I drank alone for about 8 years,but I'm not alone anymore and the fear has gone. The aloneness has gone. Thanks to this site I got to a meeting on my birthday.
Member: Mary L.
Location:
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 2:04:28 PM
First, HAPPY BIRTHDAY, HAMISH! Too cool. I came to this site today because I am about to start over with an online women's group that I loved but left over controversy re: what I felt was a serious violation of the 10th AA Tradition (outside issues). But I miss that group, which helped me enormously & gave me an opportunity for lots of service, so I'm going back. I'm here because when I first got sober again in July 2001 I wanted to try some new things and found my way to Staying Cyber. I will always have a good memory of that experience. On the topic, I am grateful for being reminded of the importance of looking at things in perspective. And along those lines, while I am still in the process of clearing away a lot of wreckage, making mistakes and working on two other addictions that kick my butt 24/7, I have to say that yes, things are better. If awakening this morning to all of a sudden slap myself upside the head with the realization of two more ways my defects have hurt others (2 more to add to my 4th Step - yay!) than sobriety is better. We're talking clarity here. That's one thing I'm guaranteed not to have if I'm using. I can also forget about any kind of consistent growth. And I could go back to being utterly incapacitated by drinking (calling in sick, rushing into work in a near-panic in the morning and arriving late or barely on time, having to have a few belts to make it out the door, which is where my drinking took me at the end...) etc. I could go back to being so paranoid from potsmoking that I can't leave the house. Oh, the memories. Yes, today, even on four hours' sleep, with all the challenges still presented (some of which I create), is better. It's a beautiful day here in Southern California - the kind of weather for which people move here. And the house is quiet. I am grateful.
Member: John
Location: KY
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 5:13:00 PM
Hi. John, alcoholic. Llaine, your not the first AA to relapse and I know coming back is very difficult. I went through a similar experience about a year and half ago. I developed an attitude of myself as a newcomer. I was open about my relapse and am going back through the steps. Each morning I say a prayer, "God help me set aside everything I think I know about you, me the AA program and the 12 steps for an open mind and new experience of you, me the AA program and the 12 steps." This keeps my ego in check and prevents what I think I know about AA from being an obstacle to recovery after relapse. Please come back. I heard of an AA meeting in England with the slogan "Pride Kills." Don't be too proud to come back. AA, after all, is for alcoholics. God bless.
Member: Eric E
Location: Florida
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 5:31:03 PM
Eric here gratful recovering alcoholic, today I have choices, I don't have to worry about the drinking, the headaches, the pain it caused my family and friends. AA has helped me realize that there are much more importants things in life than drinking. God Bless everyone.
Member: richard
Location: aberystwyth
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 6:29:58 PM
My name is richard and im an alcholic,and boy am i gratful that i accept this today. I havent taken the first drink for just over two years and to my amazement,in such a short time,my life has changed; i have changed. TODAY it is not about taking that first drink but living life to the best of my ability, trying not to harm others as well as myself and this has been done no other way than 'TRYING' to apply AA's twelve steps in my life. It works if i choose to work it and no matter how many times life can get in the way it always comes back to the same thing; What am i 'DOING' about my recovery today. Not what ive done yesterday or what i think i will do tomorrow. This is especially relevant to me at the moment and thankyou kelly for choosing the topic you chose. I have just started university and have moved away from where i got sober, things are a little different and there are significantly fewer meetings but one thing stays the same; that feeling of peace and calmness once you enter AA's rooms. I am so grateful to all you folk who keep this thing alive and kicking for without you i certainly wouldn't be here, a little bit stressed today but in general, happy joyous and free. Somebody defined the word SOBER to me once, they said: S'O'B'E'R: Son Of a Bitch Everythings Real! I know now what that guy meant.
Member: Kathleen F
Location: Milford,CT
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 8:07:25 PM
Great Topic, everything is all said for a reason. For a few years I was not able to hold a job or never did things with my family and the kids. Today I am almost at my three year anniversary at the same job. Things are not great, but by the grace of God I am here. A friend and I said onece at a meeting "you know we complain and complain but isnt it great to be working" So come in with a fresh face tomm and THANK GOD and as the BB says "we do the work of 10 men and thank them until our dying day"(not perfect paraphrase but close without my big book) Last, is that yes I am invited to go places with my family and I am allowed and asked to baby sit the children. Again Thank you God and let my faith of a mustard seed grow and grow esp in these troubled times.
Member: Ron L
Location: Winnipeg. Man. Can.
Date: 10/9/2002
Time: 10:23:51 PM
Ron Alcoholic, I like the topic.....When I was a kid shuffled from welfare home, to welfare home. Some times the lady of the house would say theres the cookie jar help your self. I knew that I had to get in there fast cause those other welfare kids would take all the cookies I got good at elbowing, pushing and punching my way to that jar. When I got to A.A. "THIS DID NOT HAPPEN," But it felt like it did, they said theres the cookie jar of sobriety help your self, cause I dident think I could get sober I wasent getting in that line up, I stood off to the side, watched and I knew that there wouldent be any cookies left, then some one spotted me and said look Ron has no cookies and they all rushed over and said here I got 3 have 2, here I got 4 have 3 and on and on, I stood there with all these cookies and I just knew deep inside what I would have to do and for the last 29 years Ive been trying to give those cookies away, But the more you give the more you get. sure beats fighting pushing and being selfish. thats my "aha"
Member: Carol P
Location: Shasta Lake CA
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 2:31:11 AM
Hi Carol Alcoholic here,my "aha"s happen when i see a new comer just starting to get it!! I look in to their eyes, and i see God. I go away feeling so much gratitude that i was there for that moment. 1st time here, I love it. Thanks for being here love to all Carol P
Member: Donna S. for Sister in The Spirit
Location: Fresno, CA
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 3:35:55 AM
Hi all, Donna Grateful Recovered Alcoholic, I like AZBill have come to know that this progeam of ours is not so much a stop drinking program but a living program! With that being said, AA has helped me to live in all areas of my life rather than take up space and 'poor me' into "PAID" (Pitiful And Incomprehencable Demoralization) acts of insanity and given me my PAID for seat inside AA meetings to share my experiences, strengths and hopes so I get the aha when I see the grave cloths removed from the eyes of the awakening soul in a newcommer. Today I shared the pleasure of going to the movies with my sponsor and best friend on the planet. I felt as needed as I was needy for that type of friendship not to mention my sponsor is a woman. That is my biggist gain in AA, I have women friends, I did not have many of those in my drunken life. I did not like women much and today I could not or I ought to say I would not WANT to live without them. I could go on and on but I know most of you out there can feel me and know just what I mean when I say that. Thank God for AA and AA for God! Stay in The Sunlight of The Spirit everyone! Love Donna S. for Sister In The Spirit.
Member: Tami R
Location: NH
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 6:30:21 AM
Its been 2 weeks today. It hasnt been easy but this is huge to me. I havent gone without wine this long since I was pregnant 17 years ago. Not only is life more manageable, but I feel in control of myself for the first time in years. I dont need outside approval. Its in ME> I still am facing a DWI charge and possible liscense suspension. Somehow, I feel God will find a way to ease that pain for me and to find things that are much more important for me to experience. If that was the wake up call and it definately was, thank God that my life at age 44, can begin again.
Member: Kırsty A
Location: turkey
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 8:29:54 AM
Hı. I'm Kırsty. I'm an alcoholıc. Happy Bırthday Hamısh! Thanks Kelly for the topıc. Just what I needed to hear. I was begınnnıng to get the 'poor me's' for a bit but you reminded me to show gratitude. I'm very grateful to be alive and sober today. Thanks.
Member: Kelly F.
Location: STL
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 9:00:23 AM
(((everyone))) Thanks so much for the wonderful discussion on the "aha" moments in sobriety. I practice gratitude on a daily basis, but the "aha's" are like bubbles of magic that appear by themselves! And the funny part, for me, is that it all somehow connects to this "conscious contact" with a Higher Power (Step 11). Without abstinence, I wasn't ever fully conscious of ANYTHING! But I know the first REAL "aha" was not picking up that first drink in early sobriety when something didn't go my way. Then the list just grew and grew: Noticing architecture; tasting fruit; smelling laundry... silly, little wonderful things I had long ago discarded in favor of King Alcohol. Then came the attitude changes, which had absolutely nothing to do with any effort on my part! What a gift. Someone cutting me off in traffic and me smiling...really smiling, and not obsessing on the injustice later. Having a conversation with a new person and not worrying about what they think of me. Someone asking me a question and me answering confidentally. Me keeping my mouth shut when I'm NOT asked for an opinion! It is as others' have shared - getting to know and like me, through the 12-steps of AA. I remember the first time I made a mistake and started to laugh spontanteously instead of freaking out! What a joy not to have to carry the burden of self, and yet get to know the self appropriately... But I could never have realized these things if I had not put down that bottle. I knew in the end of my drinking that I had lost control and the bottle had taken over my whole soul and life --- but only through AA, was I able to learn that even before I had hit bottom and years ago when I was drinking for "fun" the bottle was already stealing the best pieces of me bit by bit. God willing, I'll have 3 years in December, but I hope to never lose the ability to be grateful for the "aha's" that are there if I stay in conscious contact ODAAT. Thanks everyone!
Member: Pam D.
Location: Anaheim, CA
Date: 10/10/2002
Time: 3:24:22 PM
Came into the "room" on my lunchbreak today. What a great topic. Some of the great moments in sobriety for me have come after realizing something maybe days or months or years later. Some of the friends that have been in my life now for 17 years! Having a child. Walking into a new meeting and greeting newcomers there. Being privileged to be trusted by other human beings. Walking through some of the hardest things imaginable, and not having a SINGLE thought of getting loaded. Learning that an inventory also needs to include the positive things... FOR ALL this and SO much more, I am grateful.
Member: V.
Location: Midwest
Date: 10/11/2002
Time: 8:06:18 AM
I'm a GRA with six months if I make it to sundown. And I PLAN to make it to sundown! In the wet days I planned and schemed how to get it, where to hide it, how to sneak it. Now I have the power to plot and scheme how to live life better without it. The dry life is better by far. This great topic is like a big gratitude list. But AHA! I'm alive and AHA! life is beautiful. As a PHD (poor helpless drunk) I was useless to everyone, most of all myself. Nowadays I feel useful to me, my family, my community, and try to serve my higher power as best I can. Haven't got to a F2F meeting in two weeks due to back pain. I just know for sure my higher power put this meeting here for me today because I sorely needed to hear some good old AA wisdom to snatch me back from creeping resentments and anger. Thanks to you all here those feelings are melting away and I look forward to a serene 24. Thanks for being here for me and please keep coming back.
Member: davez
Location: berkleymi
Date: 10/11/2002
Time: 2:53:23 PM
(((hiya))) I think one of the biggest rewards of sobriety is watching another person discover the rewards of sobriety, regardless of how they do it. To see another come around and see a better way of life is a big AHH! for me. ><
Member: Tom F
Location: South Bend, IN
Date: 10/11/2002
Time: 3:33:57 PM
Hello all. Tom, Alchoholic. I just remarried the only woman I ever married sober. See you can screw up in sobriety. LOL I am so happy to have received the needed gift of careing and gentle speech toward my step sons that I did not have earlier in my sobriety. Things change and get better as time goes on in the program. All the reason I need to keep comin' back !!
Member: Cher
Location: Maine
Date: 10/11/2002
Time: 8:21:01 PM
AHA's....oh boy.....I think the very first one for me was after getting paged into the supervisor's office and expecting to sign another friggin' WARNING. The super told me that there WAS no warning, and that in fact he wanted to tell me that he noticed a huge difference in my work especially my ATTITUDE. Then he ok'd a raise in pay for me! There have been many other moments that I have become aware of AA's impact on my life. Little things like not yelling into the phone at some poor clerk when things weren't as they should be. lol. Little gifts like getting a Mother's Day Card from my daughter saying how we are the best of friends and can talk about anything. Another gift of my 17 year old son telling me one day out of the blue that he was so very lucky to have a mom who doesn't OVER-REACT to things. He told me that his friends all liked me when they came over. AA has worked a miracle on me! I don't ever want to forget it. Thank you so much for bringing this topic here.
Member: anonymous alcoholic (DOS 12/12/90)
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 7:11:16 AM
I am so grateful for the first time I came to AA because it has changed so many parts of my life. It didn't take too long sitting at those daily first-step tables before I realized that I was compulsive/obsessive about many things. Today I can thank my higher power for 'other 12-step' programs too. I no longer have to drink/bet/smoke/overeat. You can't believe what a blessing that is. And it all happened because 2 guys met in Akron 67 years ago! Talk about coincidences! Thanks.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Ft Myers via Key West FL
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 7:44:35 AM
Hi family Charlie Darling avery gratful recovering alcholic. I havn't been here for awhile, because I have benn wallowing in self pity, and finally had to get out of myself, and get back to basics, and I have found that alot of my life has changed from coming to AA. I don't go picking up a drink when things are not going the way I want. I also find I have become a person I like to be around as do other people. I great all people I meet with a smile and a hello instead of looking at the ground. I hold my head up, for I know what I did last night, and the night before. Today is a better day than it was yesterday, and tomorrow will be even better as long as I don't drink, and today I chose not to pick up. I really feel as if I have gotten to know the real me, and not the one that was coming from the bottle. I can honestly say I like myself today for the person I am becoming, and I owe it all to my family of AA I could'nt have done it without them Thank you each and everyone for always being there. I Love you all kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Ft Myers via Key West FL
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 7:46:24 AM
Hi family Charlie Darling avery gratful recovering alcholic. I havn't been here for awhile, because I have benn wallowing in self pity, and finally had to get out of myself, and get back to basics, and I have found that alot of my life has changed from coming to AA. I don't go picking up a drink when things are not going the way I want. I also find I have become a person I like to be around as do other people. I great all people I meet with a smile and a hello instead of looking at the ground. I hold my head up, for I know what I did last night, and the night before. Today is a better day than it was yesterday, and tomorrow will be even better as long as I don't drink, and today I chose not to pick up. I really feel as if I have gotten to know the real me, and not the one that was coming from the bottle. I can honestly say I like myself today for the person I am becoming, and I owe it all to my family of AA I could'nt have done it without them Thank you each and everyone for always being there. I Love you all kwduke_1999@yahoo.com
Member: Charlie Darling
Location:
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 7:48:38 AM
So very sorry I double clicked. Love you
Member: Charlie Darling
Location:
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 7:48:51 AM
So very sorry I double clicked. Love you
Member: mike s
Location: louisville ky
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 1:14:49 PM
HI mike from louisville never done this grateful to be here sober
Member: gg
Location: England
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 2:17:09 PM
Hi everyone,well its Saturday night;rather than pick a drink up i've decided to read all the comments. Thanks
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 2:29:45 PM
AHA, huh? Well, One is that I've actually gotten to MEET some who visit here, Kelly F. included! Another came while my sister and I were talking the other day. My daughter chose to live with me several years ago, her mother was holding on too tightly. My sister and I were talking about things when we were teenagers. My nineteen year old daughter has friends over often. My sis and I remembered all too well, that we NEVER had friends over as teenagers. An AH HA! moment for me there! How does it feel to have your children really trust you? Well, I would have never known had I kept drinking. How does it feel for someone who you've not seen for a while greet you with a hug? Without AA, I would never have learned. How does it feel to look in the mirror and feel good about that person staring back? AH HA, I do feel good about myself most of the time today. Funny thing, so do many others. AA has given me the tools and directions to actually grow up. I feel that I would still be that aging, imature teenager (49 this year) had it not been for AA. The gratitude is not an AH HA, because it has been there for some time, and I don't see it fading in the slightest. Thanks so much Kelly for the great topic. Mark W. LMW007@aol.com
Member: B.O.
Location: Cork, Eire.
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 6:05:21 PM
Hi all,(AHA)7 Years, day at a time,(Dry), 9 Years trying to quit, Reality is starting to dawn on me, no acceptance, sucicidal tendencies, reeking in self pity, full of blame, feeling different, you know the way it is. Emotionally i am not a very sober person, starting to work on it a day at a time. Nowhere left to go, Thanks for being there.
Member: Donna A
Location: California
Date: 10/12/2002
Time: 9:40:42 PM
Hi, My name is Donna and I am a greatful alcoholic. It would be safe for me to say that being sober has made a difference in every area of my life. Aha moments have been eveything from if I pay the bills the electricity doesn't get shut off to if I make financial amends my credit gets better. I've been able to keep jobs, friends, cars, the same phone number, and a checking account. My children can count on me for what ever they need from me. Sometimes that is something as simple as a Mom's ear to listen. I hope those Aha's never stop coming because I know as long as they do I am still growing. Thanks for the topic. Donna
Member: Theresa S.
Location: Missouri
Date: 10/13/2002
Time: 3:57:16 AM
Hi, My name is Theresa, First I'd like to start off with saying, thank you to all who have the courage to share, it's hard to turn yourself inside out. It's too easy to pick up a bottle of courage, when i work on the inside of me,and meet my higher power,[whom i choose to call God] halfway, he allways leads me to the right path, which is keeping my morals straight, and my mind. thank you for letting me share.Theresa.
Member: TamiR
Location: NH
Date: 10/13/2002
Time: 8:51:40 AM
Sunday, Day 17. Unreal. The thought of a drink makes me feel sick. I guess it comes and goes. Today my higher power is with me and leading me. I am feeling more like the woman I was before I picked up a drink in college. I like myself. What a concept.