Member: Chris L
Location: Garland
Date: 12 Sep 1998
Time: 22:00:21

Comments

Keep coming back!!!!!!!


Member: Chris L
Location: Garland
Date: 12 Sep 1998
Time: 22:03:42

Comments

Keep coming back!!!!!!!Can any one really tell me why people start I have been told lots of things but none of them seem to fit me. I don't think I will ever know why I started but I sure know why I quit because it is alot better for me physically and mentally.


Member: JOHN MC
Location: HERTS U.K.
Date: 12 Sep 1998
Time: 23:01:53

Comments

Hi John Mc. Why did l start? l don't really know probably something to do with a seriously deprived upbringing, mentally, emotionally and materially. My father died drunk when l was 9/10, his sister died drunk as did her son, he was only 39 yrs of age. My uncle died drunk, talk about a family illness, l was groomed for this illness, my elder sister also has a severe problem. What does it matter anyway, fact is l became alcoholic simple as that. more important,is there a solution that really works, is tried and tested,yes,yes,yes and yes again it's the 12 step recovery programme of A.A.The most respected recovery programme on this planet, thee miracle of the 20th century you'll find it in the first 164 pages of the B/Book of A.A. and it does'nt cost a dime, and when your Scottish like me, that makes one hell of a difference. Ta.Ta


Member: Jo Ann B.
Location: Deep in the Heart o' Texas
Date: 12 Sep 1998
Time: 23:33:33

Comments

I'm Jo Ann, an alcoholic. Well, the BB says, "Men and women drink alcohol because they like the effects of it." I reckon that's why I started drinking. I could be all up tight with that "nameless fear", that "impending doom" and I told myself I was breaking a six pack or mixing a rum & coke because it was refreshing, tasty, whatever - when the truth was simply I liked the way my body relaxed and suddenly I felt no fear, and one drink felt so good I would have another & another and before you knew it I was !!MAD!! at everybody & everything, especially my poor husband - he really bore the brunt of my drinking bouts. I also thought drinking was glamorous, even the tinkling glasses they were served in and the names! Sexy names like martini, manhattan, or Singapore Sling - there's a good one. My girlfriend told me once, "Oh me, Jo Ann, don't ever drink a Singapore Sling!" Can anyone guess what I ordered the next time I was out? - Of Course !! It set me on my ear and I totally made a fool of myself. That glamorous & sexy soundin' drink was just the opposite. Another reason I drank was because with each drink I would become a little more darlin' and precious - I told myself. But, the bottom line has to be like the Dr. in the BB (I think it was Dr. Silkworth) "Men and women drink alcohol because they like the effects." I never drank one coke after another until I foundered - only that good ole hootch - that's even a cute name - you see, it's all so subtle - I started out "toying" with alcohol and ended up fighting demons! Now, when I have fears, I turn to my Higher Power with it. Good topic to discuss. Love to all, Jo Ann


Member: Craig
Location: UTOPIA
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 00:00:37

Comments

Craig Alcoholic/Addict...stay cyber. Take what you like, leave the rest. Get a sponsor, go to meetings work the steps.


Member: Anne T.
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 00:13:28

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, and my problem is Anne.

I used to drink when I felt the way I feel tonight. Wonderfully enough, I don't have to do that anymore. My significant other moved out yesterday. Instead of crying in my beer, I'm wondering why God needs me to be alone for a while. It's usually because I have some growing to do. So, although I know the pain will come, I don't mind it like I used to. I bear the pain and, when I come out of it, it's like the flowers when it has stopped raining and the sun is shining again.

Why did I drink? To medicate.

Why don't I drink? To grow.

Thanks...for letting me share.


Member: GREG L.
Location: Elmhurst, IL.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 01:31:50

Comments

Greg, Alcoholic. Well I got the woman. Even went out and got the ring I'm going to propose to her with today. I got my liscense back yesterday and my younger brother has been a sober member of alcoholics anonymous for a full week now, finally thank God. This is a very dangerous time for me because I know my track record. "Everythings good. Let's have a cocktail!" is how it usually goes. I'm extremely grateful today for everything I have and I need to stay that way. God bless the alcoholic that still suffers. But for the grace of God go I !!!!! I'll keep coming back. That's all I know how to do sometimes. I found out about 2 friends of mine from high school that past away from heroin overdoses in the last 6 months or so. I know I shouldn't , but I can't help but wonder why I am so blessed.


Member: Chuck M.
Location: Olympia, WA
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 04:24:11

Comments

Hi, I'm Chuck, alcoholic.

What Ann said:

>>Why did I drink? to medicate.

Why don't I drink? to grow.<<

I can't improve on that. Lots of AA love, Chuck


Member: DENNIS A
Location: SAN DIEGO
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 08:02:49

Comments

hi i'm dennis alcoholic/addict. i used and boozed to be cool and never stopped, don't know why. what i learned is aa is the way to stop. thanks to my higher power i call GOD. and the fellowship of aa, and all of you. please please please coming back. have a great and sober day.


Member: John C.
Location: Ripley, WV
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 08:13:01

Comments

Hi John C, alcoholic. I guess I started drinking because it seemed the thing to do but all it did was make my life a living hell. Finally I knew that alcohol had taken over every aspect of my life and talk about a wake up call. Today I am thankful to be sober and the for the great fellowship that this program gives me. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: ALI G
Location:
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 09:05:51

Comments

ANN,

IF A MAN IS STANDING ON A BRIDGE WITH HIS PANTS ON FIRE, DO YOU THINK HE STANDS THERE AND WONDERS WHY HIS PANTS ARE ON FIRE? NO!! HE JUMPS IN!! IT DOESN'T MATTER!! JUST JUMP IN!!


Member: Mark W.
Location: Bloomington IN
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 09:38:33

Comments

Greetings to all -- Mark, alcoholic -- desribed perfectly on page 30. Why did I start? DON'T KNOW - DON'T CARE - DOESNT'T MATTER. The REAL question for me is "Why Didn't I Stop?", and the answer that I found was that I was a REAL alcoholic (see page 30), and my only chance for survival was the program of recovery offered by Alcholics Anonymous. During my drinking days and early sobriety I kept "looking for loopholes", trying to find reasons why this symptom of the disease or that aspect of my drinking seperated me from the rest of you drunks (ie I did not come from an alcoholic family, I didn't have blackouts, I didn't live under a bridge, and other such nonsense). Questions about "Why did I start?" seem to me to fall into that same catagory, inviting people to look for DIFFERENCES rather than SIMILARITIES. I'd rather concentrate on the Solution: What have you done (and what do I have to do) to STAY STOPPED?


Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 10:36:48

Comments

Bob C.,alcoholic. Anne T.- my heart goes out to you and a prayer's been said. WHY did I start? Partly to fit in and impress people, but mostly to have FUN! If I had stopped when it stopped being fun I would have been allright. It was the years of trying to recapture that "fun" that got me into such a mess. Now I'm having fun again, but it's fun without remorse!


Member: Mark  B.
Location: Laurel Maryland
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 11:05:37

Comments

Hey, out there,I am still a alcoholic, and still drinking. I have tried to stop many times, just can not seem to do it. The excuses I give myself: I have given up many, many, vices, this is the only one I have. I checked myself into a clinic once, that worked for a while. I dislike the AA groups, just really feel out of place. I am presently attending a group, they say I need a sponsor and to also attend meetings. Last friday (Labor day weekend) I was the one memeber to show, the concillor and myself had some discussion on meetings. The end result was to go to the web, he had recently been introduced to this, and he I am. I have read all the comments and felt good about every one. Hope I am not intruding just looking for a way out.


Member: Bob C.
Location: Calgary
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 11:30:16

Comments

Bob C.,alcoholic. Mark B.- go to the bottom of this page and click on Coffee Pot for our general discussion. And welcome!! Not to many of us started going to meetings because we liked them!


Member: Norm P.
Location: Indiana
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 11:35:12

Comments

Why did I start? It took me years to find out what's already been said here. "Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol". In other words, I drink to get drunk! And it doesn't matter. The fact is I drank too much for too long and became an alcoholic. That fact is irreversable but I have arrested this disease by not drinking. If I start again,I will be just like I was before. Does this sound too simple? Well,it is. Speaking for myself only,I never did fit in; I didn't belong anywhere. From an early age,I was a square peg in a round hole. Then I discovered alcohol;I was accepted by these people and had craved that all my life. None of that matters; the important thing is I'm sober today and that goes for all of us. Welcome,Mark! What's wrong with being told to go to meetings and get a sponsor? I'll add something. Get a copy of the Big Book and read the first 164 pages very slowly so you can think about it (no more than one page at a time). And go to a big meeting where somebody will show up. Sounds like you're hanging around the counselor and the detox center trying to catch sobriety there. These people and places introduce you to sobriety. If you want lasting sobriety,go to A.A. LUV Y'ALL


Member: Mark W.
Location: Virginia
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 12:55:39

Comments

Hi, My name is Mark W. A full fledged alcoholic with severe problems pretaining to the alcohol. I have tried to attend AA meeting but have severe anxiety disorder so it doesnt work too well. Figured I'd give this a shot. Your postings have made alot of sence to me and I hope I can be in your group here. I hope I can come back. I need the fellowship of others like me and thouse who have already concored the deamon. I am 26 years old and have lost everything due to my disease. Lost my wife of 6 years and my 3 kids, the respect of others, countless rights... etc etc...

Mark W Va


Member: Stephanie
Location:
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 15:33:12

Comments

I started drinking to be accepted by my peers. I too lost everything due to my drinking:most of all myself! A.A. has given me a life and I don't ever want to forget that! I work on a detox now and try to help others, but I also get to see just ow cunning,and baffling this disease is. I will have 12 years next month(a day at a time) and feel more like a beginner than ever. That's why I am here now1 Thanks for being here for us!


Member: BRIAN H
Location: RAPID CITY S.D.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 15:53:59

Comments

HELLO,I`M BRIAN,AND I`M A REAL ALCOHOLIC. I can`t state it better than the BB,I drank for the effect,all my life I was dying from the inside to the out,and that drink was the only thing that set me free from myself.The booze was the solution, the problem was ME.The solution cost me my soul,what a dilemma I had.Today the steps and not taking that first drink is my solution and my way of life, and with quite a few 24hrs. under my belt,you know what?,I find myself LIVING from the inside to out and freer from my oppressive self. THANKX.


Member: Kenneth P.
Location: Orlando, Fla.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 16:32:46

Comments

I I think that A.A. is a good thing.


Member: Kent H.
Location: TN
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 17:51:50

Comments

Kent here, a gratefully recovering alcoholic. I am sober today and if you had known me a couple of years ago you would know what a miracle that is. Why did I start? I absolutely adored alcohol. I thought it was my best friend and certainly defended it as such. Unfortunately, this "best friend" stole my money, wrecked my cars, ran my girlfriends off, got me fired from jobs, got me put in jail, beat me up and poisoned me (requiring several hospitalizations), told me I was a worthless loser, and even tried to talk me into comitting suicide. I put up with all of this and more because we had been such good buddies at one time. During the last few years of our "friendship," alcohol was not fun or even the least bit comforting. It was just there. Drinking was like breathing to me. What a nightmare! Thanks to you folks of AA and my personal spirituality, I don't have to exist like that anymore. Thank you. Peace and love, Kent.


Member: Howard M.
Location: Arizona, USA
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 18:31:51

Comments

My name is Howard and I am an alcoholic. I drank so I could feel like an adult without having to grow up. It doesn't work that way. My life and the lives of those dear to me are better because I don't drink. Our lives will get better as I continue to grow. I will continue to grow if I follow the suggestions in the BB. Simple? Yes. Easy? Not for me. Is it worth it? You bet!!


Member: Kathy G
Location: Florida
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 18:38:01

Comments

Hello, all...I'm Kathy G, an alcoholic. I, too, am not sure that why one starts drinking is important...it's why we KEEP drinking after it causes us problems. The reason is WE'RE ALCOHOLICS! I started drinking in my 30's with no ill effects. When (1)I developed anxiety disorder, (2) My teenage daughter disappeared (believed to be murdered), and (3) I got into an emotionally abusive relationship, I began to use alcohol to medicate...with horrible consequences. But I kept drinking. That's alcoholic!

After two DUI's I finally got into treatment that worked. I learned biofeedback techniques for the anxiety, ended the abusive relationship, and have set a date for a memorial service for my daughter. My life is better in many ways now but I have to fight continuously to stay sober. Ann T., the toughest part is loneliness! Hang tough. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Frank W
Location: Augusta Ga.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 19:04:25

Comments

My name is Frank and I am an Alcoholic. I started drinking when I was ten years old or younger. My parents drank all the time and I thought that to be a grown up you had to drimk alcohol. I never met a non drinker that I know of until I Became a member of AA. I drank at first to fit in with others, then I drank Because I liked it, Then I drank because I had to,I could not stop! The more I drank the more I needed it and the more I drank I got angry with my self because I could not stop and drank more.I was introduced to AA and not liking my self at all for what I had become it became my safe haven. I heard me talking abount me but thru other peoples statements, It seemd as though most of the people I met were me. I got a very strong sponsor and kept comming back.

why did I drink? I liked it, I needed it, I hated it. I hated me and life in general. why did I join AA? I wanted to live, I wanted to like me, I wanted a life.


Member: Larry G.
Location: Lou. Ky.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 19:30:09

Comments

My name is Larry G. and I am an alcoholic. I think I"ve always done exactly what I wanted to do. I wanted to drink more than I wanted to stay sober. I believe I still do the thigs I want to do. I got sober when I wanted to stay sober more than I wanted to get drunk!


Member: denis j
Location: NOR Ne.
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 20:30:42

Comments

HI !! Chosen People!! Not to ask why .But to live the good god life.Lets keep choosing the life !! GOD bless you


Member: Blake
Location: TX
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 20:55:04

Comments

Hi. I'm Blake, an alcoholic. I drank to anesthetize the knot in my gut. For as long as I can remember, I never seemed to fit in anywhere, and I had a constant feeling of wrongness. Booze temporarily anesthetized that bad feeling. After twenty-three years of drinking I discovered I couldn't stop. The year before I got to A.A. I drank a fifth of vodka every day. (By the way, young people, you don't have to go as far as I did. You don't have to get to the stage of hallucinations. That's a final stage.)

In 1978 I called Alcoholics Anonymous to inform them I was not an alcoholic, just so they'd know. Two ladies showed up on my doorstep and took me to a meeting. I didn't like them and didn't like the meeting. The only reason I ever went back to a second meeting was because that meeting was the only place I had ever been to in my life where I felt like I fit.

Still, it took six years of meetings before I became willing to do anything to stay sober. (Some of us are sicker than others.) I was finally willing to GET A SPONSOR, CALL MY SPONSOR, DO WHATEVER MY SPONSOR SAID TO DO, MAKE AS MANY MEETINGS AS HUMANLY POSSIBLE,and WORK THE STEPS. (If my sponsor had told me to stand in the middle of the road and sling a chicken in the air, I would have done it. I was finally willing.)

Today, I do not have to anesthetize a knot in my gut because the knot isn't there anymore. The program of Alcoholics Anonymous and my beautiful, perfect, loving God have gotten rid of the knot. Through today.

Thank you, God. Thank you, A.A.


Member: Dale S
Location: California
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 20:58:43

Comments

My name is Dale and I'm an alcoholic

Never done this Chat stuff before just checking it out

Almost everyone starts drinking, that is has a drink or two.

The cold fact is that 1 out of 10 people is an alcoholic.

The other cold fact is that 8 out of 10 alcoholics die from alcoholism.

I believe that someone inflicted with the fatal disease of alcohol addiction would be interested in the medical estimate of the plan of recovery.

There are many reasons I drank: It was hot. it was cold. it was Friday. it was Saturday. I had a hang over. I was sad . I was happy. I wanted to get happier. I was pissed off. and yes to medicate myself. these and 171 other reasons.

I also have as many reasons to stop and I did to stop, many, many times.

Another cold fact is that (if you are a real Alcoholic like me) unless you experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of recovery no matter what you "reasons" are.

The 12 steps are a cook book recipe to get this psychic change. You should find someone to help you with them preferably someone that has done them already. Sound logical? You will not fail if you do these steps to the best of your ability. You will need help doing them. You absolutely CAN'T do them alone.

You never have to ever drink again if you are willing to follow a few simple rules. So don't say I can't stop drinking say I can't do the steps.


Member: Ruth C.
Location: Myrtle Beach, SC
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 21:03:35

Comments

Hey family my name is Ruth and I am an alcoholic. Why did I start drinking? I didn't like anything about me or my life before I started drinking so when I had my first taste of alcohol at the age on 9 or 10 I felt as though this was what I was looking for. My real alcoholic drinking started at age 17. I drank to forget to get drunk. I was not brought up in a drinking home. I drank this way for 20 years until I couldn't see life going on this way or see life not drinking. I knew I had to do something. I had lost everything dear to me. I jumped into the rooms of AA and the 12 steps. Made 90 in 90 and more. Picked up chairs, cleaned ashtrays, etc. whatever I had to do to stay sober. Through working the steps with my sponsor talking to my God, as I understand him, talking to other women in the program I have managed to stay sober one day at a time. I just got my computer about 6 weeks ago and just found this meeting. Knowing there are other recovering alcoholics on line sure helps. I am housebound by another medical affliction but still have faith in my Higher Power. Love to all. Thank you for listening to me.


Member: Stephanie
Location: California
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 21:44:11

Comments


Member: louis
Location: gatineau,quebec,canada
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 21:55:14

Comments

louis alkie,i drank to fit in,but it's hard to fit in with the hole floor that i was lying on or the toilet bowl,it takes lots of room.ha,ha,ha.now i fit in perfectly in a AA room and it's easer just to carry myself to a f to f meeting. thanks.to the newcomers,let go and let god.(of your understanding)


Member: Darrin W.
Location: california central coast
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 22:49:19

Comments

hey everyone !!! my name is darrin......alcoholic.

why did i drink ?......to get drunk.......at least every time after i drank for the first time.... I remember seeing family and relatives drinking it up and seeming to have a great time. you know, the laughter, acting stupid and still getting laughs. you could see those that were drunk didn't seem to have a care or a problem in any of the world...... I wanted to feel that way too. and i didn't "really" ever feel that way until i finally got in the program and not on it, worked the steps with someone with experience, by the book, and began applying the principles in as many of my affairs as i can in the moment. Today, I recognize life as a gift....A.A., and our loving creator......GIFTS..... thanks everyone for sharing......peace and love


Member: Tony G.
Location: New York
Date: 13 Sep 1998
Time: 23:51:00

Comments

I don't drink at all anymore, hope I never will. Many people at meetings invited me out to drink. I thought they were supposed to help me not to. So I made it my business to help them not to.


Member: Mike C.
Location: OH
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 00:09:37

Comments

Mike C., alky Why did I start? Maybe there was a big hole (void) in my life and I thought I could fill it with alcohol. Why did I quit? The hole (void) was getting bigger! The result: The God of my understanding filled it completely!!!! My question to Ali G.: Why do some of wait untill our pants are gone and our underwear charred before we jump?


Member: Christine M.
Location: Bayville, NJ
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 00:16:36

Comments

Hi, My name is Christine and I am an alcoholic.

So much good sharing here on why did we start.

Started because it was the thing to do. Kept doing it because I felt insecure, unloved, unable to communicate.......and more.

Like John Mc. I come from a long, long line of alcoholics and truly believe that this is a family disease.

Unlike some of the others who shared I believe that it is important to know why and understand why I drank and continued to drink with a vengene on a path of self-destruction.

Learning why has helped me to overcome the character defects that led me to drink in the first place.

MARK in LAUREL, MD - Welcome and keep coming. As Bob C. said, please visit the coffee pot site for more good sharing.

MARK in VIRGINIA, I can relate to your anxiety. I experienced some severe anxiety in sobriety. Please do not let that stop you from attending AA meetings. I am not a DR. and not qualified to give medical advice, so please visit a qualified medical professional who can help you overcome the anxiety, either with medication or counseling so that you may be able to attend an AA meeting and get help for your alcoholism. I hope this post has not been out of line.

Love and Peace,

Christine M.


Member: WAYNE C
Location: STONE MOUNTAIN GA
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 02:11:22

Comments

HI, MY NAME IS WAYNE AND I AM AN ALCOHOLIC. I JUST SCROLLED DOWN SO I REALLY DONT KNOW WHAT THE TOPIC IS, IM JUST WONDERING IS THERE SUCH A THING AS A CYBER WHITE CHIP? YOU SEE I WENT FROM DOUBLE DIGIT SOBRIETY TO HABITUAL OFFENDER IN 4 SHORT YEARS. A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO I SHOULD HAVE DIED IN A 1 VEHICLE CRASH. DID I FORGET TO MENTION THAT I DISGUST MOST OF MY FAMILY, I ALSO LEARNED HOW TO USE, MANIPULATE, CON, AND BLAME MY WIFE FOR MY ADDICTION. I NEVER WOULD HAVE PULLED THIS CRAP BEFORE I GOT SOBER THE 1ST TIME. A COUPLE NITES IN COUNTY IS A REAL SMALL PRICE TO PAY TO GAIN THE WILLINGNESS ONLY THE DYING CAN HAVE. THANK YOU FOR INDULGING ME, ILL SHUT UP NOW


Member: Marcia K.
Location: Hawaii
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 02:42:06

Comments

Hello, I'm Marcia and I'm and alcoholic. I drank to be "a part of..." I drank so I could talk to you. I drank to still my mind, to stop all that negative chatter. I drank to be free of shyness. It worked for quite a few years. Then something happenen. I drank because I had to drink. There was never enough. I couldn't imagine a day without a drink.

Today I am so grateful to be sober. Today I am free. I am learning to talk to you. Today I have a spirituality that I never dreamed existed, at least for me. Thru AA and the wonderful people that I have met, I have hope. I keep coming back because of sharing like this. I also don't ever want to forget the way it was.

Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Joe "Hawk" H.
Location: Kaiserslatern, Germany
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 09:35:00

Comments

Hi, I am Hawk and a alochloic, i drank for many reasons ( mostly to hide from the pain of living) but the bestes lesson ive learned so far is no matter what just keep coming back even if your ?@! is falling off


Member: Lydia B
Location:
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 10:18:34

Comments

My name is Lydia and I am an alcoholic. I had my last drink on 8/23/98. Why did I ever start drinking? I was insecure and unsure of myself. Alcohol boosted my self image. It made feel that maybe I really was beautiful & interesting. I lost all my inhibitions. Thats were it all started for me. As time went on, I began to drink more & more with brief periods of sobriety. Then the last few years I was just a plain drunk. I lived for my Vodkas. Nothing too interesting or beautiful about a 30 something wife and mother of two that has her head in a trash can every night because she is so drunk she can't make it to the bathroom. I love sobriety. Finally, my life is beginng to get better. I for one will always belive in miracles. God's will not mine. - Lydia


Member: erica r
Location: colorado
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 12:09:47

Comments

2 weeks sober (on purpose) haven't gotten myself to a meeting yet but keep checking out this one Why do i keep coming back to here because i'm still to shy to go to a meeting keet going back to the bottle for many reasons...(genetics/ habit/ security/ society's aproval of alcohal/ grew up around drunks/ society's "second class" adittude of women/) none of which are reason enough anymore i'ld rather be sober & fight all those reasons oh yeh i'm also reading 12 & 12 glad the net is here ......e.....


Member: Mike N.
Location: Atlanta
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 14:55:55

Comments

Hello,

My name is Michael and I really appreciate this site and all of the postings. I am completely new to this site and have never been to an AA meeting. I drink and may be an alcoholic.

The reason I started was because it was acceptable in my family and it helped to calm me down. I have always been able to drink a lot of beer and be able to keep my faculties about me and remember what happened.

I'm unable to get to the bottom of the coffee pot page so I can't post this question there: Should I stop drinking?

I've had an average of 4-6 beers an evening for the last 3 weeks or so. Should I keep on drinking until I really get tired of it and am truly motivated to stop?

I have slight depression (take prozac which may or may not help) and I think that drinking contributes to my laziness and apathy. Sometimes I wait for things to get really bad, which serves as a springboard to make a change. But I'm worried that as I get older (I'm 35) it takes more and more to motivate me.

I apologize for posting this here but would love some feedback.

Thanks and I hope this post is okay.

Michael


Member: Phil W.
Location: Madison, WI
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 15:43:01

Comments

Hi, my name's Phil and I'm an alcoholic and an addict. I too come from a drinking family, though my parents were not alcoholic, just "social drinkers". Still, drinking was an integral part of life. Parties, celebrations, weddings, funerals (I'm Irish), any type of social gathering at all, there was booze present. I got drunk for the first time at the age of 10 at a cousin's wedding reception. Later on, at the ripe old age of 14, I started drugging essentially for one reason...to be cool! It was a way to rebel against one group and fit into another. I quickly discovered that both alcohol and drugs were great at helping my overcome shyness and fear. And, as has been said, IT WAS FUN!!!

I really began to sink deeply into alcoholism when I started farming. Riding back and forth in a tracter all day, you get real bored. What better than to kick back a few brews? What the hell, I was self-employed...who could stop me? So I eventually got to the point where I literally could not carry enough beer in the tractor to get me through a whole day. Toward the end I felt like that guy in the Callahan cartoon ("I drink because I have a machine strapped to my back that makes me drink.") I couldn't even make it past the refrigerator on my way to the can in the morning!

I drank like that for eight years...case and a half of beer a day (or more), barfing every morning, barely able to keep down the little food I ate. And so, Michael N., my advice to you is NO! DON'T wait for things to get really bad! Who knows how bad "really bad" is? If you are drinking when you don't want to be, assume you are one of us. Better to be in AA by mistake than vice versa! My greatest regret about my drinking is that I waited so long to get help. I darn near waited TOO long.

Erica R., welcome! Two weeks sober on your own, wow! They had to strap me to a bed to keep me away from that first drink in the morning. Just remember, nobody ever died from shyness. Maybe you could call the local AA phone number and try talking to just one person first. Then that person could introduce you to another person, etc. etc.

Thanks for listening, and keep coming back.

Phil W.


Member: rob k
Location: binghamton,ny
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 16:09:35

Comments


Member: Philip
Location: Central America
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 16:13:24

Comments

I have always enjoyed what Clancy said about why we drink: "Alcohol takes people who feel like they are not enough, and makes them feel like more than enough."

I drank because I had a general, constant feeling of unease and discomfort. There was a yearning for something I could not quite identify. That nameless something demanded fulfillment and satiation and I drank to quiet the noise of those demands. While I found temporary relief in alcohol, the only way I ever found to satisfy that non-specific demand was in in AA.

The wonderful thing is that AA meetings will ultimately make you feel just as good, relaxed, calmed


Member: rob k
Location: binghamton
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 16:17:10

Comments

sorry this is the first time at this meeting. I drank because i liked the taste of it. in the bb there is a story about the guy who loved everything about it the taste smell effects. that is me. but as time went on it with out a doubt became a enemy not a pleasure or a friend. anyways i dont have to analyze why how and all that i just know im not dring for twenty four hours period thanks


Member: SEEMOORE
Location: Germany
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 17:11:43

Comments

I drank because I was alcoholic and didn't even know it. Just add booze. From the beginning I had "an allergy". It made me sick, really sick. I had a low tolerance. It changed my personality. Really, really changed my personality. I did things I would have never had the courage to do without alcohol. It became an "obsession of the mind" to find that place where I felt wild and free, not frozen by the restraints of the church, society, those voices in my head that dictated what a good girl could and couldn't do. With alcohol, I could do it all. That evolved into a "spiritual sickness". I couldn't live without it and I dreaded what would inevitably happen with it. I would destroy everything good, wholesome, healthy and meaningful in my path. Not anymore. I have a daily reprieve. That's why I keep coming back. Thank you for my sobriety.


Member: loverboy
Location: longisland
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 18:08:23

Comments

AA works for some people not for all.


Member: PATRICIA C.
Location:
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 18:15:10

Comments

TO MIKE N. IN ATLANTA. YOU SOUND EXACTLY LIKE ME. 35 AND PLAYING THE "GAME". IT'S GETTING WORSE, AND I'VE BEEN TO AA ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT'S THE ANSWER, I JUST HAVEN'T "LET GO" YET. I HAVE THIS ALL OR NOTHING ATTITUDE...IF I'M GOING TO BE SOBER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE, WHY NOT PUT IT OFF A WHILE??? BUT NOW INSTEAD OF DRINKING A COUPLE A NIGHT, IT'S 4-6 AND IT'S EVERY NIGHT, AND I START OBSESSING EARLIER AND EARLIER. I HAVE NO EXCUSE. I'VE BEEN IN AND OUT OF AA AND EACH SLIP I'VE BECOME PROGRESSIVELY WORSE. I'M DEFINITELY ON THE FENCE, AS THEY SAY. I TOO AM ON PROZAC, AND HAVE BEEN FOR SEVERAL YEARS (BETWEEN HAVING MY 2 PRECIOUS DAUGHTERS), AND I'VE ALWAYS WONDERED IF I STOPPED DRINKING IF MY DEPRESSION WOULD BE LIFTED, BUT COULD NEVER STOP LONG ENOUGH TO SEE!!! I FEEL LIKE AA IS DEFINITELY THE ANSWER AND LETTING YOUR HIGHER POWER MAKE THE DECISIONS FOR YOU. GOOD LUCK, MIKE. KEEP ATTENDING AA AND READING THE BB....


Member: Bruce H.
Location: So.Jersey
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 19:43:43

Comments

Hi I'm Bruce- Alcoholc, Idon't know why I first started, but when I first did alcohol said "tag your it" and I chased it for eighteen years,then I surrendored. I learned in AA that surrendering isn't giving up it's saving what you have left. through the grace of God and the fellowship of AA I'll celebrate two years of continuous sobriety tomorrow,I never used to belive in Miracles... ...Now I am one. God bless everyone.


Member: Mark L
Location: Seattle
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 19:44:46

Comments

I drank because I liked it - I had a good time. Never regretted it once. Now I've stopped - with the help of y'all. Never regretted it since.


Member: Joe D.
Location: Arizona
Date: 14 Sep 1998
Time: 20:44:30

Comments

I'm Joe D., and I'm an alcoholic: I drank because I TOOK a drink! For me the craving began with the very first one. Now that I've been sober, thanks to God and the program of AA, for several years, I don't have any idea where my drinking is. I know it's a progressive disease, and it's been out there doing push-ups even through the years I've been sober. I don't want to find out where it has progressed to now. Michael, please keep going to meetings, and be careful about using Prozak and alcohol at the same time. That's dangerous! Besides the Prozak can't really help your depression as well if you're using booze with it.


Member: JASON R.
Location: NAWLINS
Date: 16 Sep 1998
Time: 13:06:35

Comments

i'm jason an alcoholic, i started because i liked the stuff. it did for me what i couldn't do for myself. this is my first time on the internet. i'm typing to see what happens. going to ICYPAA!!!!


Member: tech
Location:
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 13:10:44

Comments

Testing Tech


Member: Barry L.
Location: Staying Cyber Tech
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 13:12:50

Comments

Sorry for the inconvienience there was a problem with the web server everything should be working now.


Member: Christy A.
Location: Louisiana
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 14:02:06

Comments

Hello everyone. I am back in the program once again. Though I never really committed to it at anytime, I only lied to myself. I started to drink in Junior High School because of paralyzing shyness and fear of my abusive parents (not an excuse). I was unpopular and was filled with self-hatred and loathing. When I drank or smoked, I suddenly had friends! Or so I thought. People liked me, thought I was cool and fun. I came "out of my shell" and my grades went from straight A's to straight F's within 6 months. My parents threw me out of the house at 14 due to uncontrollable behavior and I ended up in a series of jails, institutions and halfway houses. I was a prostitute and basically a street urchin for my teenage years. I could write a book regarding my horror stories but, I find it unnecessary now. Ive been drinking 6-18 drinks a day now for the last 15-16 years. I educated myself enough to secure several white-collar professional jobs, found a wonderful, supportive man etc etc. However, Im miserable. Im a functioning alcoholic and my life feels out of control. I continue to be promiscuous, obnoxious and thoughtless. The worst part is that I lost my precious son to the state because I was a drunk. Im not sure I can forgive myself for that. The thought of not having my "innocent" wine or beer after work scares the hell out of me. Im afraid I'll be bored, nervous, shy, awkward, irritable and alone. Barrooms are notoriously easy for meeting people. I havent had a drink now for 36 hours, having been taking Prozac for 10 years and really need people to talk to.

Thanks for letting me share my story.


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 14:37:22

Comments

Larry, alcoholic.

Hurray, we're back!! This is a great discussion meeting. I get a lot out of everyone's comments.

I believe I'm an alcoholic because I drank so much and I drank so much because I'm an alcoholic.

One of the things I had to deal with when I first got sober was confronting fears that most "normal" people overcome in their teens and young adulthood. I was a 30-something guy with the emotional maturity of a kid half my age. I've actually learned to enjoy the challenge of growing up.

Philip from Central America: I always identify with your thoughts. Thanks for sharing them. There was a lot of alcoholism in my family so it was often discussed at home when I was growing up. I was always told that alcoholics were running away from something, "escaping". However, I always felt like I was running TOWARDS something that I was never quite able to grasp. I think it was Carl Jung (maybe William James) who wrote - and I'm paraphrasing liberally - that alcoholics are on a misguided search for the divine. It was only after I started working on my spirituality, especially through the AA program, that I found that what I was looking for had been with me all along.


Member: Joe M
Location: Hastings, MN
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 15:00:00

Comments

Hi I am Jow M The reason I became as alcohoic/ adict, was because to fit in, to cover up problems, feelings to cover up my hole self so no one would know who I was. Today I am sitting in treatment, I am on my third step an I want to be a parametic! Currently I am 16 years old and in my free time I volunteer at a local fire department. Thank's for sharing! Keep comming back! Y'all Peace out!


Member: Jeane C.      
Location: Kannapolis,N.C.
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 17:51:46

Comments

I'm Jeane and I'm an alcholic. I drank because I loved it and it's effects. I'm sober the second time for 9 yrs after experiencing a slip afer 12 yrs. I got a way from meetings and started hanging around drunks. I can' get out much so I apreciate on line meetings.


Member: JohnS
Location: Iowa
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 20:14:29

Comments

John,powerless over alcohol.I can't think of a more useless way to spend MY time than asking why i started to drink(the answer is in the book).What would i do with the information anyway? The important thing for ME to remember is why i stopped and how.I must never forget where i learned how to live without the bottle. It,s no mystery to ME how it works,it works just fine if you follow a few simple directions,go to meetings,get a sponser,read the book,and do what it says keep it simple


Member: Damian M.
Location: Lawrence,Ks.
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 20:59:51

Comments

Hello. I would have to agree with John S. from Iowa. I would rather spend time remembering why I stopped drinking. Besides, now that I think about it, if I were to start thinking about why I started to drink I might just think my way into another drink. Life's is too good to waste on alcohol right now. I have so many good things going for me, it would be !@#*!#! stupid of me to live in that misery again! Anyways, thanks for letting me speak(?). Take it easy.


Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 21:39:33

Comments

Hi firiens, Bill an alcoholic. Don't really know when I crossed from being a social to an alcoholic drinkerbut do know it helped overcome fears anxiety etc. Actually started doing Tradition 3 before I knew about it. My first and subsequent meetings were difficult to go to but I wanted to stop drinking To Mike N. Please confidentially talk to your doctor about your use of alcohol and Prozac. I'm not a Dr. but was a medic for over 35 years in the Canadian Forces. Perhaps something can be done to help you. My admittance and acceptance of being alcoholic was difficult but I now am so proudto be part of this programme. May God bless you all.


Member: Phil D.
Location: Dayton,  OH
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 22:17:03

Comments

Great topic. I took my first drink at 14 because of peer pressure. I took the next four in 15 minutes because I liked how the first one felt. 15 minutes after that I swore I would never touch alcohol again, and the rest is history. 14 years later I slunk into AA with my tail between my legs, thoroughly convinced that I didn't want to drink any more and equally thoroughly convinced that I was NOT an alcoholic. Fortunately for the first time I wanted sobriety worse than I wanted to drink and I began listening, got a sponser, began working the steps, and accepted a Higher Power. Today I am sober ONLY by the grace of God. To those who posted this week of their timidity in attending F2F meetings; I know exactly how you feel. The first couple of months I was in the program if I said more than my name I would get the shakes so badly that I would almost throw up. But I kept going back because I felt welcome, accepted, and for the first time in my life, felt as if I actually belonged to something. One of the things which kept me coming back before i had convinced myself I was an alcoholic was the 3rd tradition ( the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking ). I had the desire to stop for years, so I knew I was in the right place. If you can stay sober by just attending this cyber meeting, my hat is off to you, but this alcohic needs to be around people to remind me why I keep coming back. ODAAT.


Member: Bob M
Location: IN
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 22:17:26

Comments

I started drinking and stopped drinking for exactly the same reason--to grow up. I thought drinking would help me be "cool". I found out it's not so cool being powerless, and living an unmanageable life. I thank God I found my way to AA. Welcome to all new members; please try a live meeting in your area. AAs always advise a newcomer to "keep coming back." That's my advice, too. I was uncomfortable at the first few meetings I attended, but because I had absolutely nowhere else to go, I kept going back. This program, and these people, grow on you. Today I relish the opportunity to attend a meeting and share with the friends I know I'll meet there. Give the miracle a chance to happen!


Member: Elaine B
Location: Kingston, Ontario Canada
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 23:07:17

Comments

Hi,my name is Elaine and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time visiting this site. Like a lot of you I started drinking because I felt like one of the gang when I did. I suffered from panick attacks at the age of 19 and was prescribed Diazepam by my doctor, I continued to take it another 17 years. When the pills didn't seem to help any more I found that a drink mixed with the pills worked wonders!! It only took two years for me to hit my bottom. I nearly killed myself. But for the Grace of God I'm here today. I wanted to say to "Patricia C that I was also depressed and was taking an antidepressant similar to Prozac. I am happy to say that after three years in recovery I am Alcohol, Drug and D E P P R E S S I O N Free!! Thanks for letting me share. Keep coming back, it works if you work it!!


Member: Christine M.
Location: Bayville, NJ
Date: 17 Sep 1998
Time: 23:38:49

Comments

Hi, My name is Christine and I am alcoholic.

Please excuse me for breaking format here for a moment.

MIKE N. You may want to consider going to an OPEN AA meeting in your area. You can find one by looking in your local phone book and calling the # for AA. Tell them that you are looking for an OPEN AA meeting in your area. When you get to the meeting you may want to introduce yourself to a member of the group and let them know that you are new and trying to decide if you are an alcoholic. Then sit down and listen and try to "identify" rather than "compare" with what is said. Identify meaning listen to how the people felt regarding their drinking. Don't "compare stories" because you may not have gotten arrested, spent time in jail, lost your house, your car, your wife or girlfriend, YET. Yes, we call them YETs because many of those things may not have happened for us, YET.

And to emphasize what someone else said, you may want to have a frank talk with your doctor, psychiatrist, therapist, whatever. I am not a medical professional and not qualified to speak on that topic, however, I do know this, ALCOHOL IS A DEPRESSANT.

Also, you mentioned that you had trouble viewing the Coffee Pot site. If anyone has WEB TV or not, but has difficulty viewing the site or getting to the bottom of the page you may need to switch to something called "alternative view". You can do so by clicking on "alternative view" at the top of the page.

Any other newcomers, please feel free to visit the Coffee Pot site. You can get there by clicking on Coffee Pot at the bottom of this page or at the top of the page here in the margin section.

CHRISTY, I too, was a street urchin and sometime prostitue. I have been sober almost nine years and have been "bored, nervous, shy, awkward, irritable and alone" in sobriety. I have also been "promiscuous (especially in early sobriety, the first three years), obnoxious and thoughtless" in sobriety. KEEP COMING! It is ok to be all of those things in sobriety. First we show up, then, a little bit at a time, we get better. It takes some longer than others. I have been sober almost nine years, a day at a time, and am still occassionally all of those things(except promiscuous, I met my husband in sobriety and have been in a monogamous relationship for six years.). I'll tell you what I haven't been in nine years of sobriety, I haven't been arrested, woke up from a blackout in jail, 1/2 naked, woke up with some guy I didn't know, woke up with some guy so ugly, my friend collapsed the tent on us so I could get out without seeing him,(actually he got out, I was passed out cold). I have made some poor choices in sobriety but they were choices that I made sober. Come and visit on the Coffee Pot site and if you want I'll give you my email address.

Thank you for allowing me to share.

Love and Peace,

Christine M.


Member: natalie a.
Location: way down - tx
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 00:15:48

Comments

hello! Natalie, alcoholic. what a great meeting! this is my first time to visit you guys also. Seemoore, you hit the nail on the head. I too drank because I have an allergy. this is what the big book tells us. a spiritual malady and a mental obsession. the bb also tells me thousands of men and women have recovered from this seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. keep reading and KEEP COMING BACK! thanks for letting me share - great to hear from the newcomers.


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 00:18:14

Comments

im an alcoholic my name is richard m. today as always i am very gratefull . i havemnt had adrinkor adrug i n almost 13 years. i take no credit myself-- i give all glory and honor to god. plese remember love and tolerance of others is our code.may find serenity , love peace and happiness soon...


Member: Alan D.
Location: Vancouver,Canada
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 01:03:56

Comments

Hi,Al/Alcoholic.At first I drank to fit in,but in the later years I drank to avoid facing life & reality.Thank God for the A.A. program. Today(almost 3 yrs sober) I have wonderful people in my life & a higher power(God) that continues to show me how wonderful life can be,sober ODAT.


Member: Bob F
Location: Springfield, Oregon
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 04:01:48

Comments

Hi all Bob an alcoholic I used to drink, smoke and spit in the street. then I took an inventory of the things that were causing problems in my life and quit drinking. my first drinking was not pleasant. got sick and felt terrible, but kept on drinking anyway. surely an "alergy of the body". I continued drinking anyway, knowing that after enough alcohol, I would get drunk. surely an "obsession of the mind". Eventually, I found a road to recovery using the steps laid out in the BB and the help from all of you as well as my higher power. I'm grateful to all of you for my sobriety. Thanks. good topic for me.


Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 06:04:17

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) WHY DID I START? good topic ((chris)) just to see what the big deal was and to be cool. Using alcohol was an sign of maturity, the media told me it was ok, my peers told me it was ok, my parents, by their actions told me it was ok, in fact if I had a drink in one hand and a smoke in the other, then I was truly hip, slick and cool. I smoked weed all the way to woodstock, wore the long dress, with the earth shoes, love beads with my peace sign and flowers in my hair. I did those things but never felt like I fit anywhere, until I got smashed. what made me different from my friends was the way i acted after I had the first drink, then I didnt have the choice of how many I was going to have. 1 more or 20 or continue to drink, and do a little drugs. booze makes me stupid, booze takes away my ability to choose what is best for me, it gives everyone power over me and I wake up with remorse, shame attacks that paralize and damages my body stealing my youth & health, inside and out. I have been sober since the first day I walked into AA and just today I was told that I was cool, in fact I think his exact words were *Nana you're a cool dude*, it was my 3yr old grandson - LOL - something funny about that is that I truly feel cool today. Part of, thanks to God and AA and of course all of you. Dear God please bless all who venture here. Love and hugs, bon


Member: Martina G
Location: New England
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 07:21:40

Comments

Good Morning, Martina, an alcoholic.

I started because I loved the sensation of being high (which I discovered accidently at the age of 10) and to avoid facing the pain of my life. I stopped becasue the pain of my drinking became worse than the pain of life.


Member: ScottR
Location: Yosu, Korea
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 09:42:20

Comments

I don't feel it's important for me to think about why I started to drink...I did. I like to focus on why I stopped and when I do that I keep coming back. Even in the depths of despair I always returned to the doors and open arms of AA. That's probably one reason I kept coming back because I was welcome. That makes me happy! Thanks for another day of sobriety.


Member: Wendy
Location: Illinois
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 11:03:46

Comments

Why did I start drinking? Because it takes away the pain, frustration, etc. It removed me from the "pressures" in life. Then when I sober up, all the pressure is still there and then some, because I created more havoc while I was "lost in space."

I guess my biggest problem right now is that I can't seem to stay "sober." I know I'm an alcoholic; I identify with most of your stories and I know I need help. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. Not even with you folks. I know I need to get past feeling like this, but I really don't know how.

I think I'm getting off the topic here. Thanks for listening and I will take this to the Coffee Pot.


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 11:30:51

Comments

Wendy:

Don't want to cross-talk much here. Just wanted to say that I still don't feel I fit in completely anywhere, even in AA and I've been sober 8 years. Re-entry into the real world (or initial entry as the case may be <g>) is taking a while for me. But I fit in a lot better than I used to, and I have a lot of peace-of-mind and serenity, so I'm OK with it. At least I'm usually comfortable in my own skin, as they say, and that's the most important place to "fit"!

I'll look for you at the coffee pot.

Peace & Serenity


Member: Mike N.
Location: Atlanta
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 15:20:43

Comments

Test


Member: Damian M.
Location: Lawrence Ks.
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 15:24:28

Comments

Greetings and salutations to you all. Not to change the subject, but I'm having a heck of a time getting the comment screen to come on at the coffee pot. At any rate,last night I was saying that I didn't feel right wasting time thinking about why I started drinking. I started because drinking because I wanted to know what it was all about. Little did I know that I found out a little more than cared for knowing. Despite all the crud I managed to drag my self through during my drinking and drugging days, I don't think I would've wanted it any other way. I mean my life has so much more meaning to it now than ever would have if I were still out there wallowing in the crud. A friend once told that we A.A's have it a little better than those "normies" out there. Our lust for life is genuine. Take it easy. And hello to anyone out there reading this from Alaska!! Bye. Damian M.


Member: Mike N.
Location: Atlanta
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 15:34:12

Comments

Phil W., Patricia C., Joe D. Christine M., Bill W., and everyone who posted: I really, really appreciate your comments.

I want you to know that I haven't had anything to drink for 4 days and have been to 3 aa meetings. I haven't spoken yet nor do I have a sponsor but those are next steps. I really do seem to have a lot in common with alcoholics.

Thanks again and I'll check and see if I can read the coffee pot now.

Michael


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 16:05:50

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic.

Drinking for me began in my teens. It started as a lark with another friend to feel good and uninhibited. Later as the illness set in it had the opposite effect. It became a complusive activity, generally around emotional disturbances. Gradually the condition worsened and effected my physical health (liver ailment), and emotional health (suicide attempts).

When the disease first began to pick up momentum I was in the 10th grade, where I was expelled for drinking on campus. It was an endless road of personal tradegies involving prescription drugs and alcoholic that brought me to the door of a neighbor--who saw that I needed help and directed me to recovery. She herself was 5 yrs sober at the time. Today my life is very different. I thank God, those members who welcomed me, gave me moral support, and a fine sponsor who led me in the direction of having a healthy outlook on life through guidance in the steps.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Diane
Location: Northwest Hills of CT
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 19:11:49

Comments

Hi Everyone!

I'm Diane, an alcoholic, sobriety date 4/11/98.

Chris -- Thank you for an excellent topic! Everyone said just about everything that came to my mind when I read the topic. The only thing I can add is from something I just recently read:

"ALCOHOL GAVE ME WINGS TO FLY... AND THEN IT TOOK AWAY THE SKY"

Love and thanks to you all for sharing!


Member: Wendy K.
Location: Canada
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 20:09:25

Comments

Hi, my name is Wendy and I'm an alcoholic. To try and remember why I started only boggles up my now clear mind. Been a week dry now). But if I was to have to give an answer to that, it would be: "Because it tasted sooooo good" Pretty dumb answer eh?? Well all these things I've read are so good, and really give me hope. Good luck everyone!!! An keep coming back!!


Member: Russell B.
Location: hooterville
Date: 18 Sep 1998
Time: 22:00:38

Comments

As to the question "why did I start" to borrow from a beer comercial"why ask why" there are many reasons for starting drinking i.e. peer pressure,curiosity,examples set by people we admire,or my personal favorite a desperate need to escape a sucky life,real or imagined. That is not the issue though. The question is or are. what has it done to me and do i want to stop. You see I never asked myself why I started driving after any of the crashes I've had. I only concerned myself with my personal safety. I asked myself am I hurt physically,financially,emotionally, and did I hurt anyone else. Then I would evaluate the scene of the crash and see if I could learn how to not do that again.If I ask the same questions of my drinking career I can see the parralells. At this point it does'nt matter why I started buthow can I stop. Live in the solution instead of the problem. Problem/ I started drinking and could'nt stop. Solution: I think you've already found it! good luck on your journey


Member: PATTY S.
Location: MOBILE ALA.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 00:05:35

Comments

HI, EVERYBODY, PATTY ALCOHOLIC. FIRST TIME ON CYPER. THANKS FOR THE TOPIC. I'M POWERLESS TODAY, HAS MUCH AS I WAS WHEN I STARTED. MY CRAZY DRUNK IN ME IS DOING PUSH UPS. BY THE GRACE OF A CARING GOD AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU I DON'T HAVE FIGHT ANYMORE I SURRENDER EVERY DAY. I PRAY FOR THE WILLINGNESS, AND A OPEN HEART TO BE THERE FOR THE NEWCOMER. IT KEEPS THAT SOUL SICKNESS IN A REMISSION. STAY FREE AND GOD BLESS!!!!!


Member: Shelley K.
Location: Chadron, NE>
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 00:36:38

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Shelley and I'm an alcoholic. For myself, I started drinking out of plain curiosity!! After that frist drink,I was hooked. I found a power and a realease in drinking...all of the sudden I was no longer an outcast, I wasn't shy, etc. And for Mike N. in Atlanta. You will know when you are ready to quit!! You can not do it for anybody but yourself...only you can determine if it causing you problems. Some questions to ask yourself are 1. Is my drinking effecting my well being and that of my family? 2. Is my drinking effecting my job? 3. Is my drinking effecting my attitude towards life in a negative way? 4. What do I stand to lose if I quit drinking? If you answer these questions honestly, you may be on your way to a life changing experience. God bless you and keep coming back!! We will love you until you can love yourself!!


Member: Jean S.
Location: CA
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 00:53:45

Comments

Hi Fellow Travelers,

Jean, an alcoholic. My first visit here, but I will be back..I need the contact of other alcoholics to keep me centered in this insane world. It has taken 26 years to see almost 12 years of sobriety...Could never have done it without this program. I don't ask why I drank anymore ...that question along with another million whys almost killed me. If you are ready, if you want your life back, only better than ever...please throw yourself wholeheartedly into what this fellowship so freely offers you..everyone of the 12 Promises will come true. Thanks for being there for me one more time.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 01:17:07

Comments

hi all,tony and alcoholic a little saying..first the man takes a drink,then the drink takes a drink,then the drink takes the man.....im sober one day at a time,and the days have added up to 7 months,when i get up in the morning i will ask my higher power to help get me through the day.and i go to meetings and read the 12 steps book over and over,ithank my higher power at night ,and reflect on that day.thanks


Member: tom
Location: c a
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 07:26:50

Comments

GRATEFUL RECOVERED ALKIE

I AM PUZZLED!?!? it is considered to be a statistical fact that 9 out of 10 alkies do not make it??? yet the big book claims a 75% success rate !!! HOW CAN THIS BE why bother when i am up against these odds help


Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 07:47:13

Comments

Tom:

If the chances of hitting the lottery were 1 in 10, everybody would be spending their entire paychecks to buy as many tickets as they could. Escaping the hell of active alcoholism was like hitting the lottery to me.

There are many excuses to not get sober. I've used hundreds of them. Only you can say whether or not it's worth it to you to "bother".

I think the AA success rate is probably somewhat higher than 10%, but unfortunately it's nowhere near 75% these days. But even if it is 10%, so what? What does that have to do with Tom?

Hope you decide not to go with the majority, but to stick with us ten-percenters.

Peace & Serenity


Member: JOHN
Location: UP~STATE N.Y. 
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 08:58:11

Comments

GOOD MORNING--I'M JOHN AN ALCOHOLIC I GREW UP SEEING EVERYONE DRINKING IN MY FAMILY..IT WAS NORMAL-THERE WERE SOME GOOD TIMES & ALOT OF BAD TIMES...BY THE TIME I WAS 13 I WAS DRINKING & DRUGING -AS TIME WENT ON I ALSO HAD GOOD TIMES & BAD.MY FIRST TIME AROUND I WAS 19 & NOW I'M 39 . I HAD 1 RELAPS IT WAS 12yrs & NOW I'LL HAVE 7yrs ON OCT. 9 AND IT COULD NOT HAVE HAPPEND WITH OUT "GOD",HONESTY & SERVICE TO A.A. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE


Member: HELEN B.
Location: DARWIN AUSTRALIA
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 08:59:09

Comments

HI I'M HELEN AND VERY MUCH ALCOHOLIC. I DRANK BECAUSE FROM MY FIRST DRINK THE LIGHT TURNED ON THRE PAIN WAS ALLEVIATED THE PAIN. WHICH BY THE WAY I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD. BUT WHAT BECAME MY BEST FRIEND ALSO TRIED TO KILL ME UNTIL I FOUND A.A. AND WAS GIVEN SOBRIETY. THANKS FOR SHARING HELEN.


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:09:03

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:11:20

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:15:13

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:17:06

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:19:42

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:21:10

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:22:25

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 10:27:11

Comments

hello, my name is richard, iam an alcoholic.... god removed the desire to drink from me on 12-28-85. since then, i have been learning to live sober , one day at a time. regardless of what happens in my life and the life in the world around me, i don't drink, i pray & go to meetings. i love you...


Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 11:17:02

Comments

Mark, Dope fiend alcoholic. Know what? Booze worked. Drugs worked. They eased the pain, they allowed me to be what I knew I wasn't. I could medicate myself and just numb out and be a part of any crowd or scene I was at. But know what? that social lubricant stopped working. So I just drank more. I couldn't and wouldn't stop because I was trying to recapture that glow feeling, that feeling of invincability from my youth, but the booze , the drugs, my BEST FRIENDS, they quit working. Instead the pain became more and more acute. Nothing I would put into my body would work anymore and I couldn't stop the booze and the drugs. I physically had to have em. Today I live on the grace of this power that's out there running interferance for me. God freely extends his grace to me as evidensed by the fact that I'm sitting here clean and sober today. I just do the simple stuff, the footwork and he does the rest. I don't get into mental quagmires like, "When did I become an alcoholic"? God, that one would spin me out big time. Sorta think I came out of the womb with the twisted self-centered thinking and behavior quirks that the disease manifests. I just drank and doped enough to kick it into full blown addiction. Where's the line? Doesn't matter to me because today I know what I am. Simple drug addict alcoholic who's ego demands I complicate everything in my life. I'm truely grateful God smiles at me cuz if left to my own devices, I'm hosed.

Mark


Member: Neit T
Location: Thailand
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 13:51:31

Comments

i my name is Neil and I am a very greatful recovering Alcoholic. I could not stop drinking on my own and AA showed and taught me with great patience, how to have the life I have today, which is wonderful. I know who I am, where I am and most of all I know I have only one day to live for the full, One day at a Time. That all I really can manange, for after all these years, I'm still recovering


Member: Steve B
Location: N.J.
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 15:03:36

Comments

Hi,my name is Steve and I am an Alcoholic. For me It's not so Important about how I started drinking. Everyone starts (even Non-Alcoholics) for different reasons. My only Problem ( at least in the very Beginning ) was to find a way to stop. I have been able to do that through the help of a higher power and the fellowship of A.A. I wish I could say that I got sober the first time I walked into a Meeting( or the 2nd ,or the 3rd).But ,I can say that it's been about two and a half years ( one day at at time) since my last drink.It's only been through Not picking up a drink that I've been able to see the missing pieces( charachter defects) in my life which caused me to need to drink.It was a higher power who removed my Obsseion for alcohol.


Member: Sean C.
Location: Florida
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 16:06:43

Comments

Hello, I am Sean C., an Alcoholic. I started drinking becuase I was taught to do so. To celibrate, to medicate, to infuriate. The reasons aren't important as the actions I took. I was an abusive drunk who could kick your butt with my tongue. Now that I have found AA, I can honestly say that I now "take it easy". I know how to relate to my fellows with the lessons that I have learned in AA. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Sandee Y
Location: Fruitland, ID
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 18:27:24

Comments

My name is Sandee and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time to visit "Staying Cyber." This is a good topic and I've enjoyed reading some of the comments. For me I started drinking mainly to medicate. I liked how Ann stated it. I didn't like myself and thought I would fit in better if I had a few drinks. Ya, right! I finally quit because I realized only God could fill that void in my life and really help me and He is the only one who is always there and loves me for me, no matter what. Laurel, glad you are here. Keep coming back. I am so thankful for AA and the friends I have met in this program. I had 3 months sober on the 4th of September and will soon have 4 months. Thanks for letting me share. Stay sober and keep coming back, everyone.


Member: Pat R
Location: Bronx, NY
Date: 19 Sep 1998
Time: 21:35:32

Comments

Keep coming back. I stayed away deliberately after getting news I had a Neurological Disorder due to ER lack of support. I became angry having to deal with it every day in college plus my other disorders that put me on SSD and college was to be my saving grace but it showed I had real obstacles. I wanted to drink so I stayed away and yeah I did get drunk with medication too. It's okay to email me jo2pat@mailexcite.com


Member: richard m            
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 01:21:20

Comments

hello, i am an alcoholic, my name is richard.... plese forgive the excess on the mesage board... i am new to the system.. iguess it shows... my sob. date 12-28-85... i just added one more day ...thanks god.... it really has been those sayings put to use...and lots of gratitude for they really do work... some parts ,like pg..449 i would rather not hear or read . for me asan alcoholic they keep me humble. god love and bless you all


Member: richard m            
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 01:22:33

Comments

hello, i am an alcoholic, my name is richard.... plese forgive the excess on the mesage board... i am new to the system.. iguess it shows... my sob. date 12-28-85... i just added one more day ...thanks god.... it really has been those sayings put to use...and lots of gratitude for they really do work... some parts ,like pg..449 i would rather not hear or read . for me asan alcoholic they keep me humble. god love and bless you all


Member: richard m            
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 01:24:05

Comments

hello, i am an alcoholic, my name is richard.... plese forgive the excess on the mesage board... i am new to the system.. iguess it shows... my sob. date 12-28-85... i just added one more day ...thanks god.... it really has been those sayings put to use...and lots of gratitude for they really do work... some parts ,like pg..449 i would rather not hear or read . for me asan alcoholic they keep me humble. god love and bless you all


Member: Paul T
Location: Denver, Co
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 07:51:58

Comments

Mourning group. I'm Paul T. alcoholic. It's my first time cyber and today I'm celebrating m7y second milestone with AA. It's Sunday and what a beautiful day. I'm 30 days sober with AA. couldn't have done it without you. Thanks Paul


Member: maryann g
Location: ware mass.
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 10:14:29

Comments

hi maryann. alcoholic. first time on staying cyber line. great communication to an in house meeting. thanks.


Member: Bill G.
Location: Ware MA
Date: 20 Sep 1998
Time: 10:24:19

Comments

Hi I'm Bill and I'm an alcoholic,

I find that the reasons I started drinking are not important. I must know that if I do not change the person that started drinking, I will surely drink again. When I first started in AA, the best I could do was not drink and goto meetings. By doing so I heard the ways to stay sober one day at a time, and I learned how to change those defects in character(fears) which paralyzed me and led me to the bottle. I wish God's grace to all that want it. Just don't drink and goto meetings, and allow the miracle to happen in your life.