Member: Cherita
Location: TX
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 00:19:09
Thanks so much for your reponses. This morning, the first thing I did was to empty the rest of that bottle of vodka, only this time it was down the sink, and I haven't had a drink today. I hope that I'll look back at Aug 21 as my sobriety day. I'm really trying this time!! I'll pray for you...please pray for me to have the strength to give up control!
Member: Rabbi
Location: Ca.
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 00:25:07
How 'bout forgivness?I know I took a long time to forgive mySelf.
Member: Frank D
Location: Willowgrove,Penna.
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 00:57:01
Listen,cherita-you did the right thing by pouring the booze down the sink, pat yourself on the back for that, you dont drink under any and all conditions. get all the booze out of your reach and dont go near people,places,and things that might lead you to a drink. But First of all you have to have a Desire not to Drink.
Having a Desire not to drink is our 3rd tradition the Only Requirment For Membership. That is what you should be praying for,without that we have nothing. You never have to Drink Again.
Good-Luck-A-Day-At-A-Time. Big-Frank---Sober-22Yrs.
Member: Jennifer F
Location: Oregon
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 01:23:18
Cherita, I am so proud of you! It takes a lot of courage and desire to do what you have done. What I want you to know is that it gets better, it really does. If forgiveness is our topic, the most important thing to me was to forgive myself, and that was a lot of forgiving. Being able to forgive feels like freedom to me. You are in my prayers.
Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 02:00:12
My name is James, and I'm an alky. Cherita, August 21st is as good a day as any to have for a sobriety day. Seize the day. It's yours. If you just keep doing the rest of today, what you did yesterday you can do it. If you don't drink the first drink, you won't get drunk. I remember the first mental giant I heard tell me that. I thought the guy was a genious! Dr. Bob said if you spend one half the energy you did when you getting a drink, you can make it. I hope you can stay away from the mistake I made, and not try doing this on your own. I was a self-made man, and look what I made! You're in my prayers already that you find your chair at the next AA meeting. Forgiveness is a good topic, Rabbi. I always blamed myself for everything. Even to the extent of blaming myself for having alcoholism. The guilt, shame and fear I lived in was a living hell. I wasn't aware of the possibilities of any other way of living until I saw what the 12 steps of recovery had done to others like me. Recovering alcoholics inspired me with their experience, strenght and hope. All around forgiveness became paramount to the quality of my sobriety as I realized that just not drinking was not going to fill the bill. Forgiveness of myself and others has been a process that didn't come naturally to me. The steps, with lots of help make that possible. In my fifth step I became aware that as I had been condemning myself and others, not only had been playing God, but that I was really bad at it. God had never condemned me, I sure did though. I have always been forgiven. Being conscious of this helped me to go outward and make those ammends to others, and set wrongs right. I have been given the gift of renewed relations with everyone I had harmed and begin this new life. I have been given this one day at a time reprieve from alcohol contigient on my spiritual growth and maintenance. God does not make junk! I have no business condemning His handy-work! Forgiveness is a gift that surfaced in my heart as I cleaned house and made room for it. I'm not about to complain that it took as long as it did. I just say, " Thank You!" I always wan't to be able to play nice with other kids and have REAL friends, and BE a real friend to others. There's a place where my sobriety isn't mine anymore, mine own life is none of my business. God, today is doing what I could not possibly do on my own. Thank AA for this miracle and for my higher power, I call God. In the Fellowship of the Spirit. James L.
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 03:11:05
Larry, alcoholic
CHERITA: Congratulations! If you haven't gone to an AA meeting yet, please go today. You won't regret it. At the beginning for me, "One Day at a Time" sometimes seemed like too long, so I wouldn't drink "3 hours at a Time" or even "5 minutes at a Time" when necessary. The time adds up more quickly than you'd think.
On the topic of forgiveness, I began to experience forgiveness while doing my 4th Step. I needed to be able to forgive others first. That happened while doing my Resentment list. Once I was able to forgive others, I was then able to forgive myself. That happened while going over my Guilt/Shame list during my 5th Step. It was as though I didn't think I deserved forgiveness until I was willing to do unto others.
I've heard others share that they had to forgive themselves before they could forgive others. I don't think the order matters much, just as long as the process starts somewhere. Once it starts, it seems to gather momentum until all is forgiven.
Thanks for letting me share.
Peace & Serenity
Member: Buddy H
Location: Hawaii
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 03:41:47
Buddy Happy greatful recovering Alkie, Cherita god has a purpose for you pleasego to a meeting today and find a women to talk with. As for forgivness for me alot of my anger comes from not forgiving some peole i need to but some of s are sicker than others I will be 7 Sept,6 but i am a slow learner just gotta keep working on my program not yours or any bodys elses God bless Aloha
Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 05:31:56
Welcome home Cherita! That was exactly how I was welcomed into Alcoholics Anonymous.
I don’t know whether you will read this on your first or second day. In fact I don’t know whether you will read this at all! I am powerless as to whether you will read this welcome also. However, emptying the vodka bottle took courage – I assume you just felt “I can’t take any more of this”.
The enjoyment and sense of ease and comfort has gone! You have made a call for help – I assume you know and feel you cannot do this alone. You know “the gig is over” – that’s the moment of clarity – a special moment!
I had that moment many years ago next door to you – in New Mexico. That’s why I regularly come to AA, to remember that special moment and to enhance my sobriety, the moment I became honest with myself for the first time in my performing alcoholic life – and I knew it was coming! I have stayed since then and I have not found it necessary to even consider alcohol as an option as a solution to any of my problems. See any problem I have today is of my own making.
You might even have tried to get help from other agencies such as jitter joints, maybe been to the bar, maybe even jail or church. What I do know is I never found a solution to my problems in any of these places – nowhere else but AA. In fact if I had, I wouldn’t be in AA, would I?
See AA is the place alcoholics come eventually to learn to live without the booze one day at a time.
Now in order to learn all the things necessary to maintain happy sobriety on a daily basis, bearing in mind that you can’t tell an alcoholic anything, he or she has to find the way for him or herself. I had to find a power greater than myself – where do we find that power? I don’t have a secret – if I did have a secret I’d still be selfish. I can only share what I did.
First I became a member of a group, second in that group I found some who had recovered from the physical and mental state I was in. I clung to them like a leech – see I knew they had something I needed and wanted – it’s called SOBRIETY, freedom from fear. Then I got a sponsor, someone who was living proof that this deal works. Through that sponsor I learned how to live one day at a time. Through him and the group they gave me a description of an alcoholic – DOCTOR’S OPINION at the beginning of our text book. May I suggest you get one of these Big Book text books as soon as possible. Please read it and if you think you are one of us, like Bill W and the rest of the First One Hundred, then you will find there is a solution.
Through all of this I pray you will become convinced that this Programme of Recovery of the First One Hundred contained within the pages 1-164 of our text book works. I use the phrase “text book” – why, like all other books of this nature we start at the beginning. Our founder member Bill W, like me, realised that in order to maintain his sobriety we need you as much as you need us.
Reminds me of our society’s first 12 Step call – Bill W needed the performing alcoholic in order to stay sober himself. Dr Bob wasn’t looking for Bill W – but I think Dr Bob knew Bill W had something he needed. That’s why I am responding to you. I need you more than you think you need me. In order to maintain my sobriety I have to give it away.
I pray you will give this your best shot – it might be your only one.
God bless all real alcoholics – there is a Way Out.
Member: Bonnie B.
Location: PA
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 07:25:22
Hi, Bonnie, alcoholic here.
Cherita, alright, way to go, girl! You are on your way to a life beyond your wildest dreams. Like someone shared earlier, there are REAL friends here.
When I was drinking, I thought I had friends, but they were gone as soon as the drink was. The friends I have today stick around, especially when the going gets tough. And speaking of getting tough, no matter what, since becoming sober I have not had the desire for a drink. "There is nothing so bad that a drink won't make worse."
As far as forgiveness, it took a lot for me to forgive myself. I am learning everyday that it is progress, not perfection. Today I take two steps forward, maybe only one back, not the other way around. We say the Lord's Prayer at the end of our meetings. Each time a different part pops out for me. Forgiveness has not been one of the easy parts, but like everything else, it gets better ODAAT.
Frank, hope to meet you someday, I'm not that far away. I love you all, another family I never knew I had while I was drinking. Take care all, and God bless.
JTBSFRIEND@aol.com
Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 08:02:11
Cherita..strength and control. That's what we don't have on our own. We can free ourselves and allow a Power Greater than ourselves to provide the strength. That's the paradox and revelation of the program...to realize that we have to surrender to become victorious. Avail yourself to the power of GOD, (Group Of Drunks)...If you aren't sure you believe, just believe that WE believe. HOW it works is we become Honest, Open, and Willing. Don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help, let it happen. The only dumb question in AA is the one you are afraid to ask.
Member: Tony. T
Location: La.
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 08:35:06
Hi, Tony here, Cherita, great start, but please don't stop there. What you did by pouring vodka down the sink is great it's only a beginning. AA has a wonderful program of action just wating for you. It's people are friendly and are people just like you. Under the skin all us alkies act and drink and think alike. Please get in touch with AA in your area. Get to a metting as soon as you can. Don't wait cause the insane thinking to take the first drink WILL RETURN! You brought back many memories of my first attempts to quit drinking and I was right where you are right now. By the grace of a loving and mericful God and the woderful program of AA and all the great people in AA I haven't had a drink in 2 and a half years. You are in my prayers from this day forward. God bless and may this day be the beginning of the end of your drinking.
Rabbi, forgiveness is a great topic. Like most people forgiving myself was the hardest. I had to be taught tha forgiveness is not a feeling, it is an act of the will. So I had to forgive first as an act of the will and the feeling of having forgiven someone or myself would come later. Sometimes much later. In forgiving myself it was difficult, cause I knew God would forgive all the other people, but not me. So my sponsor said Tony, I know you're a christian and by not accepting God's forgivness you're saying that what Jesus did on the cross wasn't enough to cover your sins or character defects. Accept what Jesus did as complete and whole and forgive yourself and go on with the life He always wanted you to have. To be at peace with God, myself , and my fellwo human beings . This is what I always wanted and now have thanks to God and the great program of AA Bye for now. Love you all and God bless.
Member: Elaine C
Location: Texas
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 10:05:58
hi everyone Elaine c recovering alcohlic. Charita , that is great that you poured out your vodka. I would have had 2 years sober the 11th of next month . But a week and 1/2 ago I chose to blow it. I got drunk. I almost got a DWI and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me realize that i can not drink it just doesnt work . I hadn't been going to my meetings, praying or working the program . This just made me realize without the program and all that goes with it, i can't do it. So take it from someone that knows get to an AA meeting and work the steps. It will be the best thing that ever happened to you. I am back on track now and doing what I should have been doing all along. It is so much easier this way. As for as forgiveness, I also have a horrible time forgiving myself. I can forgive others much faster than Ican forgive myself. But when the cop pulled me over the other night he told me that I would probably feel really guilty the next morning, but to get up and start over tomorrow is a new day. He said get back to your meetings , call someone and do what you have to do. those words helped me so much. So I took his advise and I am doing great today. *S* Thanks for letting me share Elaine C
Member: Elaine C
Location: Texas
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 10:06:37
hi everyone Elaine c recovering alcohlic. Charita , that is great that you poured out your vodka. I would have had 2 years sober the 11th of next month . But a week and 1/2 ago I chose to blow it. I got drunk. I almost got a DWI and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. It made me realize that i can not drink it just doesnt work . I hadn't been going to my meetings, praying or working the program . This just made me realize without the program and all that goes with it, i can't do it. So take it from someone that knows get to an AA meeting and work the steps. It will be the best thing that ever happened to you. I am back on track now and doing what I should have been doing all along. It is so much easier this way. As for as forgiveness, I also have a horrible time forgiving myself. I can forgive others much faster than Ican forgive myself. But when the cop pulled me over the other night he told me that I would probably feel really guilty the next morning, but to get up and start over tomorrow is a new day. He said get back to your meetings , call someone and do what you have to do. those words helped me so much. So I took his advise and I am doing great today. *S* Thanks for letting me share Elaine C
Member: Lori D
Location: New Hampshire
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 11:12:36
I am Lori and I am an alcoholic, Don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help and get a sponsor. Theses are the basics for the program. Working the steps is the fine tuning that makes life run a little smoother and keeps me sober. Forgiveness is a fine topic. When I got sober, I thought that many others had wronged me, well, as it turns out, most of the wrong doing was my own, and I did it to myself. I was told that if I did not forgive myself for having been human and for making mistakes that I might not be able to stay sober. I had to be able to like myself and have some selfrespect. That was not easy to do. I hated me and how I had been. It was only when I heard that I was not a bad person, but a person suffering from a disease that I could look at myself a little more objectively. I owe my life and my happiness to the recovery program of AA.
Member: JCP ^\^
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 11:18:48
As Bill Sees It: Page 27: Daily reprieve
We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.--BB-p. 85 << >> We of A.A. obey spiritual principles, at first because we must, then because we ought to, and ultimately because we love the kind of life such obedience brings. Great suffering and great love are A.A.'s disciplinarians; we need no others.--12&12 p. 174
J here, a grateful alcoholic:
Forget the steps that first day -- they were simply to far and too high. If any effect of daily drinking could be fortunate, I was busy at work, accustomed to covering my condition, and quite surprised that I had made it home without stopping for a drink after my first meeting the night before.
Sobriety would not get better for some time, although physical benefits of not drinking would. My almost-certainty was that it would not last. "Unlike most of our crowd," as Dr. Bob says (BB p. 175), I was not to get over the craving soon, or soon enough to suit me.
So gratitude is free, because it is so obvious that no way was I going to get myself sober when I did not even believe it would happen at all. It was the Higher Power in A.A., and there are no other likely suspects.
As for forgiveness, that too takes time--One Day at a Time!
dixyflier@usa.net
Member: John M.
Location: CA
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 11:46:34
My name is John and I am an alcoholic. When I was newly sober and wanted desperately to "get in" the AA program I heard a speaker say, "If you do these five things I promise you will stay sober; SURRENDER to God, get a SPONSOR, work the STEPS, SHARE at meetings, get into SERVICE. I did them and now have several years of joyous sobriety.
Member: Merv. D.
Location: north Bay Ont. Canada
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 11:58:41
Good Morning my name is Merv. and i am an alcoholic. Cherita maybe you have had your last drink if you can accept the help of this wonderful program. I was a daly drinker for the last ten years of my drinking and i also poured the last half of my last drink down the sink and that was jan 28 1985 and I haven't seen fit to pick up another drink since. i wouldn't have been able to do this without the help of this wonerful program. Life has improved every day since that date. Also as to forgivness I have learned to forgive al since that time and have also learned to forgive myself which is the most important.
go to a meeting a.s.a.p.
Merv.
Member: Dee S.
Location: Rhode Island
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 12:31:36
Hi - my name is Dee and I am an alcoholic... an active one. I have the desire to quit;I want sobriety desperately. My question... today I do it, quit, I've not had a drink yet and am beginning to feel a little shaky; should I be concerned about withdrawel symptoms? Should I just quit or contact my family physcian and let him know the situation. Do I need medical help to quit or can I do it alone. I drink about a fifth a day and have done so for the past 20 years. Your answers will be much appreciated.
Member: Kerry B. 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 13:30:53
Dee, everyone goes through withdrawals differently. I suggest that you get in touch with your medical doctor to let him/her know what you are doing. Or, you can look up alcoholism here on the net to get any idea what some of the symptoms are of withdrawal.
Member: Dee S.
Location: RI
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 13:38:46
Kerry - many thanks. I did look up the possibilities on the net and that is what made me wonder what I should do. It's now 1:45 and I'm OK so far... just a little jittery. I'm not using this as an excuse (I hope), but it is a Sunday and my health coverage provides for emergency treatment in a life threatening emergency situation only... so , do I drink until tomorrow or go cold turkey(where did that saying come from anyway???).
Member: Dee S.
Location: RI
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 13:46:02
Kerry - Would you be willing to correspond via e-mail?
Member: Carl B.
Location: CT
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 13:54:49
Dear Dee,
I am an alcoholic. Sober- one day at a time for 13 years. You should defintely consult a doctor or ER as soon as possible. A fifth of liquor per day is subtantial, so is 20 years. Suddenly stopping drinking without a doctor's supervision is ill-advised. I strongly recommend a detox and possibly a 28 day program. I will keep you in my prayers.
Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 15:57:42
Good Afternoon:
My name is Tom A., a grateful sober alcholic today, by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and the teachings of this Way of Life known as Alcoholic's Anonymous.
HIP-HIP-HURRAY August 21st is Cherita'Day!
This is a suggested program of recovery and I entered AA before all these treatment programs, which in my opinion, are very important in the beginning, but back in 1960, they told me to drink Karo Syrup in orange juice or warm water and that would ease the craving and it worked. Infact for many 12 Step calls I always had a bottle of Karo Syrup. But I do recommend getting medical treatment, if possible.
Thank you Rabbi for this weeks topic - FORGIVENESS. I have come to believe that this is one of those GIFTS that come to us in this progam. For me it has been little by little and this program teaches how to forgive ourselves and others. The old mottoes of First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does It are tools that have help me to learn forgiveness.
Thank Your Group for being here!
Enjoy Your Sobriety Today!
God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net
Member: Wade B
Location: Wayne , NJ
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 16:28:07
HI I'm wade alcoholic and an addict. cherita keep it simple honey dont drink and go to meetings and get a sponser. women with the women and men with the men.
Member: Cherita
Location: TX
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 17:02:10
Hi, Cherita, A. I can't tell you how grateful I am to EVERY ONE OF YOU who took time to respond to me as I've floundered & come to some harsh realizations. Since NO ONE has ever suspected me to be an alcoholic -or even to have a problem- I'm still having great difficulty sharing. My family of origin is truly loving & well-meaning, but we never really talked about problems, "weaknesses," or negative emotions. This forum is giving me courage and freedom to take more long-needed steps in the right direction, one day at a time! I will pray for each of you every day. By the way, THIS IS MY DAY #2 OF SOBRIETY. It's not much yet, but it is definitely a wonderful new beginning. God bless you all.
Member: Matt P
Location: Racine, WI
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 17:36:13
Hi everyone My name is Matt and I'm still an alcoholic and an addict. First I would like to say thank you, Thank you for reminding me that the same shit is still out there and I don't have to go find it for myself. Remember, the only thing that you have to do at this point it don't pick up that first drink. Everything else will come in time. Go out and get a Big Book and a 12X12. Read, read, read, read. Find a listing of local meetings and go. Get as many phone numbers as you can and use them. THe phone does not weigh 500 pounds. It will not hurt you. Take care of yourself and remember, Take it One Day At A Time!
Member: Clayton S.
Location: CA
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 17:40:32
Congrats, Cherita... My name is Clayton also an Alcoholic and addict. Get through today the worst is passing as you type. When I was brand new an oldtimer gave me a chip.. it said ten minutes. That was how I approached it at first later I got a 24 hour chip and in a few months I'll have a year for the first time in my life. Go to meetings get a sponsor and read the book your life will get better. Try to be grateful because we can get caught up in life and drama and lose perspective on what we need to do. Always remember that no matter what happens you don't HAVE to drink.....through this program we have a choice...God Bless You and no matter what keep coming to meetings
Member: ROB R.
Location: B.C. CANADA
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 18:51:17
ROB GREATFULL ALCOHOLIC...IF I HAD BEEN UNABLE TO FOREGIVE MYSELF I SERIOUSLY DOUBT I WOULD BE ALIVE TODAY LET ALONE SOBER. PEOPLE LIKE YOURSELFS----FRIENDS OF BILL W. HELPED TO MAKE THAT POSSIBLE.I ONCE THOUGHT THAT I WAS THE ONLY PERSON ON EARTH THAT THOUGHT,FEALT, OR ACTED THE WAY I DID. REALISING THAT WAS'NT SO MADE IT A LOT EASIER TO BEGIN THE PROCESS OF SELF FOREGIVNESS...THANKS....FOR ME WHEN I DID MY STEP 9 . I ALLSO HAD TO INCLUDE MY NAME ON THAT LIST..AT THE TOP..MAKING AMENDS TO MYSELF WAS AS MUCH FUN AS IT WAS REWARDING. TO THOSE NEW TO THIS THING HANG IN THERE! IT DOES GET BETTER......
Member: Rick S.
Location: B.C. NV.
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 19:05:06
My name is rick and i am still an alcoholic. Welcome to the newcomers, thank you for helping to keep me sober today. It was said earlier that you should not go through DT's on your own...I agree. I did it and it was not cool. That story is for another time but the statistics show a lot of us die doing it that way. Talk to a doctor about your body'd need to convert things to sugar to survive and you will understand...this will also give you something to do with your time! I carried a bag of bite size Snickers with me everywhere for the first 3 months, it helped me a great deal. Forgiveness for me was a completely foriegn concept. If I was to forgive someone, that would be admitting I had done something wrong, which would mean taking responsibility for my own actions. I am a recovering; alcoholic, addict, control freak, tough guy, add infinitum... My drinking had efficiently buried all feelings for any thing or anyone but me. I didn't have problems that could not be taken care of by hurting someone else...so I never had to look at myself. But the booze and drugs quit hiding the guilt I was constantly feeling. In short...my friend "the fix" had qiut working so I had no choice but to ask a higher power for help. The difference this time was I did not try to bargain with God, I simply said Help me and I will do the best I can not to drink today. Actually I said (outloud) God please remove this obsession from my mind and body. That was the evening of October 6, 1991 and I have been clean and sober since. As with all things, thoughts, feelings, desires, and life...my ideas of forgiveness changes as the years go by. today it means when ever I have dealings with others I ask myself if it is going to help them in some way. If the answer is yes I can feel it in my gut...if it is a hidden motive I can realize it ask for advice and guidance. The main forgiveness after my fourth step was to myself, but it actually came from God. To forgive myself my past regressions is to forgive others of theirs today. If you are like me that is a very big accomplishment. Thank you for letting me ramble...Seee Yaaa !!!
Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 19:43:52
Hi All
Cherita
Congrats on 2 days
Dee S
Some people still wonder whether or not I am an alcoholic, in fact another alcoholic just asked me that question yesterday, nobody can tell you whether you are or your not, you have to come to that decision yourself. Have a look at one of these sites and maybe it will help you make up your mind to get that desire. I admitted I was an alcoholic years ago and sought help, but nothing worked until I enterd the doors of AA seven months ago and now I'm five months sober-one day at a time.
http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/ http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/index.html
I forgave myself for the things I have done when I was drinking, but whether other people have forgiven me is a different question. Since I came to understand alcoholism as an illness it was a lot easier because illnesses are just what they say they are.
In the end it all comes down to one thing for me and that is whether my HP forgives me.
Well I'm still on that straight road today and I hope to resume the journey tomorrow where I left off today.
wallyphil@currantbun.com
Peace and Serenity. Phil
Member: Mary Ann G.
Location: Flemington, NJ
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 20:38:36
My name is Mary Ann and I am definately an alcoholic. I first entered the rooms of AA in 1977---unfortunately I cannot say that I have been sober all that time. To list all the reasons and circumstances would take the whole week but suffice it to say I forgot the basic principles listed here for the two very special newcomers. The most important things I can identify is to become connected and stay that way. Bill W. and Dr. Bob started AA as a way of sick people coming together to share their experience, strength, and hope to try together to remain sober for only one day. Each time I lost it it began by pulling away form the program so let me say the most important elemment to remember is to stay connected--get a support group and a sponsor and be willing to anything she tells you to do. Willingness is the next hurdle to overcome to be willing to be willing to stay clean and sober for only one day.
It took me 22 years to hopefully finally get that BAD things happen when I drink and I drink when I don't follow the simple principles of a simple program for complicated people. My last relapse lost me my license and I'm walking for six months---another I never.
For both of the newcomers I will pray for you and your willingness to give AA a try. I will pray for you and myself.
Thanks for listening--Also if you are experiencing withdrawl symptoms--get medical help asap---Alcoholism is the one disease you can die from the withdrawl. H.P. bless you Mary Ann
Member: Duane M.
Location: Auburn,New York
Date: 22 Aug 1999
Time: 22:50:58
Goodevening family,my name is Duane and I am a real alcoholic.Welcome Cherita & Dee. Cherita,it took alot of courage to do what you did.Now just don't think of not drinking for the rest of your life.Think of not drinking just for today.Get yourself to a real meeting and listen.You have just found a gift it's up to you what you do with it now.Find someone you can relate to and ask her to be your sponser.If you try to compare yourself to others you might get confused. Remember you do not have to this alone.Although I had tried for quite sometime. This is truly the easier softer way.It takes alot of work but you are worth it.God bless you. DEE,you are worth it also.Go see a doctor and as suggested earlier probably a detox and rehab. My thoughts are with you and I hope to hear from both of you again.It's just one day at a time to keep it simple. As for forgiveness,what a biggie for me.If people wronged you like they did me they didn't need forgiving.They should should be coming to me with apologies.Then I opened my eyes and there I was.I had to be there for them to do to me what they had done.Therefore I had to look at my part in the play,OH-OH. I had learned I might not have been as innocent as my disease was trying to make me believe.Today I realize we are all just human beings and we do make mistakes(even me).It is so much easier to forgive people today through WORKING the steps in ALL my affairs.Once again I am truly greatful for my new found life.Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Joe H.
Location: Arizona
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 00:48:11
Hi everybody, I'm Joe and an alcoholic.. I had no questions about my alcoholism when I finally made it to the rooms of AA. I fit all the parameters and paradoxes of the disease. Get dressed up to get messed up. Go out to have a good time and end up crying, full of guilt, shame and remorse. Then I found the paradoxes of AA. Surrender to win, give it away to keep it...And then read 164 pages of a book that starts with a guy in war and ends with people in peace. When my first sponsor was taking me thru the steps the first time he used to advise me to be a little easy on myself. If there was no self-forgiveness, how could I forgive someone else? No forgiveness and a ninth step becomes an exercise in futility. To all the newcomers, give yourself the break you've been looking for. Get to the rooms of AA, let down that shield that we all build and find that inner peace that we all seek. Thanks to all for 12th stepping me today and another 24 hrs. to all.
Member: Nick
Location: PA
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 01:26:31
Hi I am Nick and I am an alcoholic. I am not sure what to say except that I am tired of screwing up my life by unscrewing a bottle.
Member: Kerry B. 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 02:14:22
Dee - my e-mail is alarmme@srv.net
Sorry I didn't check in earlier.
Member: Rich.A
Location: U.K
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 02:15:50
Good Morning All I have decided today that I am going to try and stop drinking (I have been for 15 years). I have never contacted or told anybody that I drink too much (I expect that many of you know the score) however in writing this I'm telling somebody now and this may help me come to terms with my situation.
God Bless
Member: Buster K
Location: London UK
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 02:48:26
hi cherita,well done!this is my first on line meeting but I have been sober for ten years I have had all kinds of ups and downs since I came into the fellowship,from deaths to divorce and I am having a work crisis now.This is why I have started cybermeetings.
The only thing I have done right since I came into AA not take a drink a day at a time and get to a meeting more when i need them,I also found a good friend who I could share my deepest secrets with.
Hope it goes well for you.
Member: LISA
Location: UK
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 05:50:43
HI EVERYONE, I AM LISA, ALCOHOLIC I WENT OUT AGAIN THIS WEEKEND AND WENT ON A TOTAL BENDER, I AM NOW IN THAT HORRIBLE BLACK PLACE, I FEEL SO HELPLESS AND COMPLETEY ALONE, I KEEP TRYING TO GIVE UP AND THEN FOR SOME REASON I GO BACK, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME, I DON'T WNAT TO BE AN ALCOHOLIC I KNOW I AM RUINING MY LIFE, HOW CAN I STOP AND STAY STOPPED, MY BOYFREIND OF 9 YEARS FINISHED WITH ME LAST OCTOBER BECAUSE OF MY PROBLEM, I AM STILL IN SO MUCH PAIN, I JUST CANNOT SEEM TO GET OVER THE SPLIT, I FEEL THAT BY NOW I SHOULD HAVE MOVED ON, BUT I JUST CANNOT SHAKE OF THIS HORRIBLE HOPELESS FEELING, ALTHOUGH I AM SURE DRINKING MAKES IT WORSE, I WANT TO GO BACK TO HOW I USED TO BE WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, HAPPY AND PRETTY MUCH CARE FREE. I DON'T LIKE WHAT I HAVE BECOME, I WANT TO WAKE UP AND FEEL GOOD NOT HAVE THIS CONSTANT CLOUD THAT SEEMS TO GET BLACKER. THANKS FOR LISTENING. LISAXX
Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 06:27:28
Hi All
Rich A
Welcome to this site. You have made the first step by admitting you have a problem, the next step is a f2f meeting.
Lisa
To be honest, nobody wants to be an alcoholic, but it is something we have to come to terms with, it does get easier and life gets better if we just accept the fact that we cannot drink. We can cope with any situation hoever hard or stressful if we don't pick up that drink. Drink will only add to your problems, not minimize them.
wallyphil@currantbun.com
Peace and Serenity. Phil
Member: Gabrielle P.
Location: Mansfield, TX.
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 08:37:25
Hi! Gabrielle grateful, recovering alcoholic here. Cherita I would like to suggest that you go to a meeting and find a woman to talk to. Nothing can take the place of eye to eye contact and the hope that you will see and feel in a meeting. It is fine to communicate by E-Mail and the cyber meetings, but you should do yourself the favor of personal contact with others whom can hold you. I came in here this morning expecting to hear the message and found much more. I had to learn very slowly how to accept myself and then began the process of learning how to forgive myself. I don't know how many 4th steps it took but the last person I wanted to forgive was myself. I had to feel wanted and needed for that to happen and it took the personal contact with women who understood my needs to get me to that point. I didn't like women's meetings and flat out hated the step studies my sponser made me attend in my first year of sobriety. I can honestly say now I don't believe I could have it without out them now. I learned how to care for others there, how to be empathetic and not sympathetic. The "hole of emptiness" that I had tried for decades to fill with alcohol became filled with love and hope and understanding. People liked me for who I was and it felt good.For the first time in my life I "felt" like someone. So get to a meeting and then come here and tell us how wonderful it was. There is nothing that can replace that, it is why it works for so many. Buddy H. form Hawaii- Aloha nui loa, I came into A.A. in Hawaii and spent my first 8 years of sobriety there. I would love to hear form you. My e-mail address is: gpp2280@Pharmerica.com In sobriety, in life, in A.A Gabrielle P.
Member: Andrew C
Location: Fife, Scotland
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 09:36:52
I'm an alcoholic. I have tried to give up but I'm not sure why. I have read all your comments above, but I cannot see a reason for giving up. Alcohol is how I cope with life. It doesn't effect my job, I never have hangovers, financially I can afford it, my children don't live with me so they don't see me drunk, etc. Have I just not reached the level that you all have?
Member: Maggie Mae
Location: Az
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 10:44:01
Lisa and others, If you are concerned enough to be here, you likely have a problem. Two months ago, I found my courage in this web site. It was a weekend and I didn't think that AA "worked weekends" so I drank. But on Monday I called AA and got my butt to a meeting. And Have been attending and not drinking ever since. The only way to lift that cloud of confusion, guilt and remorse is to stop drinking, attend meetings and accept the grace of the fellowship and search for a higher power than yourself. IT IS WORTH IT. Now, I feel geat. It isn't all easy but it sure is better than feeling like crap all the time. Good luck.
Member: Joanna
Location: Oregon
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 12:18:57
Joanna-Member of A.A. I am very gratefull to be sober today. Welcome to everyone. Joe- from AZ thanks, I got alot from your share. I have been sober for 3 years and for that I am gratefull. I guess I was "ready" to surrender, I did not know what that ment but in hind sight I guess I was. Why do some people make it, why do some people go out, hell, I don't know the answers, I just know that when I walked in the doors, I was done. I feel for those who go out or question if they are a true alcoholic I don't have that as my experince. I came in and I was as willing as the dying could be. It was such a blessing to me that I could give up, give in and move on. I never had felt worse and I was convinced the only way to feel better was in A.A. Divine intervention? I don't know and I don't care. I am here I do not question the obvious. I am a alcoholic, there is a God and I am not it, and I need others to give this away and to keep it. I am in much need of hearing all this so thank you all for letting me go off. I will send a prayer out to all of those who are in pain today, give A.A. a chance when you want to drink, don't and call someone. I am aware of how foolish that sounds but it does work. I still work the steps, go to meetings call my sponser and work with others, I am not always happy and joyous but I am FREE, and for that I am eternally in debt to A.A. and to my God. Thanks agian and I hope everyone has a great day and week. Take it Easy. Joanna
Member: Sally W.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 14:17:48
ANDREW, I smiled when I read your message, which I could have written a couple of years ago. Job-fine. Finances-fine. No children to be affected. No hangovers. You don't say your age, but after many years of "no problems" I finally began to have the inevitable physical symptoms. And my adult child let me know that, although we don't live together, my drinking was definitely having an effect on her life. So I decided to check out AA meetings, though I couldn't imagine actually living without alcohol.
WOW! It is absolutely amazing how easy it is to live without it once you've entered those doors. And it's amazing how much richer my life is. Now, instead of holing up with a bottle until I "get sleepy", I go to restaurants, concerts, theater, civic meetings, etc. I've made many friends to do these things with. I've joined a book club, a poker club, etc. And, guess what. I'm not just "coping" with life. I'm enjoying the hell out of it!!
Let us hear from you again, please.Sall
Member: Ryan H
Location: Delaware
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 14:39:50
Hi everyone my name is Ryan and I want to thank you guys so much for offering an AA meeting right here online. It is so much easier to talk to a computer than to a big group. I have been sober now for about a year (10 months to be exact) and I would still be in the same boat if it wasn't for a DUI that I got in November of 98. This DUI and alcohol alone has really put a damper on my life. I would have never even would have thought that I had a problem if I wouldn't have gotten the DUI. Alcohol can bring alot of problem to a persons life if the person loses control. Again thanks alot for having this class available for anyone even close to a computer.
Member: Dan H.
Location: Cleve. OH
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 15:26:27
Dan alcoholic here,
Hi Andrew! Good to hear from you. You introduced yourself as an alcoholic. If so, nothing that we or anyone else can say will ever make that not true. It sounds like you want to give it up, but cannot figure out how or perhaps why. I'll quote from chapter 4 of our textbook, Alcoholics Anonymous…"If when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably an alcoholic. If that be the case, you may be suffering from an illness which only a spiritual experience will conquer."
The fact that we consider alcoholism a disease suggests that: it is the effect that alcohol has on US that is important. That some of us are able to maintain jobs and perhaps even outwardly normal family lives does not alter the central fact that once we take even the smallest amount of alcohol into our systems that the spiral of craving and loss of control begins.
If you want to cope with life without alcohol, but don't know where to start, please get in contact with the AA office nearest to you. They will offer you quick assistance and get you started on the right road.
Very few (if any) of us could imagine life without alcohol when we first started. Most AA's that have been around for any length of time at all will often say that the worst day sober is far better than the best day using alcohol. This certainly has been the case for me. If you want what we have, a life which doesn't require chemical mechanisms for coping, please call the AA office nearest you and get to a meeting.
Welcome, keep coming back.
This week's topic…forgiveness. My sponsor brought to my attnetion that at the end of each meeting, we ask our Higher Power to forgive our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us. Meaning we are asking forgiveness in the same degree as we ourselves forgive. In my resentment list there was lots of room for me to start forgiving. As I have begun to do this, it has been returned manyfold. A Power greater than myself has been very good to me in this respect, and all that was asked of me was to deny my own will and accept His.
Member: Betty S.
Location:
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 17:25:04
Hi all! I'm Betty, an alcoholic. For the newcomer I'd suggest not using the word try but rather the word do as in "just for this moment, do the next right thing." As for forgiveness, no one other than myself as "done" anything to me. I forgive them for the fear (anger) that I have projected out; and forgive myself for the mistake I have made. Blessings to all & keep in touch, Betty
Member: Justin H
Location: Canada
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 18:05:05
This is to Rich A, and Lisa, two of the posters above...
Alcoholism is a disease. It's not your fault that you cannot drink like normal people, and it's not your fault that you have the disease.
Luckily there is a cure for the disease. Stop drinking. It's the only cure.
I recommend that you pick up the phone and call AA. Doing that one thing was such a big step for me, that I cried with relief when I put the phone down.
I don't go to meetings very often, and when I do I just sit at the back , and I listen to some very bad stories of what alcohol can do to you.
That's all it takes for me to stay dry and I've not touched any alcohol for over 13 months.
Good luck, and especially to Lisa. Breaking up in a relationship is hard enough, but you must understand that you did not choose to lose your boyfriend. You lost him because of the outward symptoms of a disease. Concentrate on stopping drinking, and getting your life back, and maybe you can go see your boyfriend in a years time and say 'Hi, I'm better.' and see if you still get along.
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 18:08:20
CHERITA Well done, love, Keep on keeping on.
DEE - Only you can know if you need help or not, but f2f AA meetings are a great help for anyone who is struggling. Feel free to e-mail if you want to.
WELCOME to all The Brits here, Rich A - Buster - Lisa - Andrew, one thing I believe is that no-ne who is still able to control their drinking will ever question it, so the question is Why are you here?? Normal drinkers for whom it is not causing too much of a problem would not usually find their way to AA meetings either on-line or in the real world. I thought I had got to AA by mistake in the beginning, but I found out after 7yrs and many drinking disasters later that it was no mistake that I got here in the first place, but this being the illness of denial, it convinced me I was OK, almost to the point of death, but thank God I got back here in time.
Forgiveness has to start with me. I have to forgive me, before I can make amends to others, and I was told early in recovery that I had no right to continue to punish myself, when God had forgiven me. I was only able to forgive myself when I became fully aware of the fact that alcoholism is an illness, over which I had no control whatever. Therefore, my behaviour in drink was the symptoms of my illness, and once I realised this, and made a start on the steps, I found I could forgive myself. Funnily enough, everyone else whop still mattered in my life also forgave me. My gratitude for AA today often overwhelms me, and just tonight, I have heard of an actve alcoholic who has died drunk, having choked on his own vomit, something which could (should) have happened to me, God knows, the times I woke up in a pool of vomit were often enough, Why Me?? I choose to believe that my God has a reason for my being alive today, I don't know what that reason is, but I sure as hell am grateful for it. To be forgiven by two daughters who went to hell and back with me in drink is worth a fortune, and to be able to hug my dad and my daughters today is a priceless gift, which is all part of my sobriety. Up until 5yrs ago, I had never hugged my dad, and today, it is the most natural thing in the world to hug him when we meet, and when we part. If everyone has their way this Christmas, my house will not be big enough for all the famil who want to come to stay with me for Christmas, and that also is a miracle of sobriety, believe me, no-one would have spent Christmas anywhere near ME when I was drinking. To be forgiven is worth every moment of the DT's withdrawals, guilt shame and remorse I felt in early days of recovery, and you newcomers are here for the purpose of reminding me that I have come a long way since I put the drink down (finally) 9yrs ago. If nothing else happens in my life today, I am so glad that I haven't found it necessary to pick up a drink/drug/cigarette, and for that I have the fellowship of alcoholics anonymous and my God(ess) to thank.
Thanks, everyone for being here for me
Goodie@cwcom.net
ICQ 47039989
Member: Dave H.
Location: Baraboo, Madison Wi.
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 18:32:15
Cherita, My family didn't undestand or accept my alocholism either. I didn't bother to metion it to them until after I was in the AA program for about 9 years. I value the "attraction not promotion" tenant of the program. It is also a "we" program. There is no need to ever feel alone again. For me, the f2f or "face to face" meetings are a must. For in being at a meeting we also help others by our presence. "Take it easy" on yourself.
Member: Cheryl G.
Location: Dallas, TX
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 19:54:21
Cherita - What a great way to start a day - getting sober. I will keep you in my prayers. I found a day to be too long so I stayed sober 5 minutes at a time and while those 5 minutes were passing I tried to do the next right thing,like the dishes, pay a bill, type a letter, whatever was in front of me. And each thing that I did took longer than 5 minutes and before I knew it an hour had gone by and then two hours. If no one has told you that they love you today, I love you.
As for forgiveness, it's a wonderful tool that I am still not very good at using. My fourth step teaches me more every day that I stay sober but I am slow at some things. I have a copy of a page from one of my AA readers posted to my bulletin board in my room and it says: They may not need forgiveness but I do. That tells me that not forgiving someone will hurt me the most and I don't like the thought of hurting me...anymore. I have much to learn from this topic so I will listen to the others.
Member: Kent K.
Location: Willits, Ca.
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 21:32:41
Hi,Kent,alcoholic. Congratulations to all for one more day of sobriety,especially the newcomers. This really is a 'we' thing we individually are doing. And we all do it the same way,'one day at a time'. Some of us are so fortunate as to have been given various numbers of continuous days of freedom from this disease. Most of us do this the same way, I know I did. I 'gave up', 'fessed up', 'cleaned up' & 'helped others'. I did this with a lot of help from those in a 'home' group of AA's who loved me untill I could love myself. At one point in my drinking years I made an effort to study the 'successfull' drinker so I could 'do it right'. This idea surved me well after I got to AA, only it had to be suggested to me to 'stick with the winners'. Also, 'If you want what we have, do what we do'! Combining these ideas with as much honesty, openmindedness, and willingness as I could gather I haven't found it neccessary to take a drink for nearly 9 1\2 yrs. and for that I am truly gratefull. The only thing that time seems to do for me is provide the oportunities to face the same situations again and realize that 'I've been through this before and it didn't kill me. I know this sounds grim but it's the way faith has come to me. Personally I'm gratefull I am an alcoholioc. Something can be done for alcoholism. I thought I was simply crazy, without any remedy and would die that way. Today I enjoy a fantastic life through the freedom of the 12 steps of AA, a great sponsor, and the fellowship of you-all in Alcoholics Anonymous. Than you for inviting me to life.
Member: Brandon F. 12/12/96
Location: Tulsa, OK
Date: 23 Aug 1999
Time: 22:09:42
Hi everybody, I'm Brandon F. alcoholic. DOS 12/12/96. I just found this site tonight. I understand that this is a discussion meeting, but I am having a hard time following any particular topic. I am sure it has something to do with RECOVERY? (LOL) I found this program after many years of trying to "do it myself" if you know what I mean. I always believed I was in this world all alone, until I found AA. What a sad state of affairs...My terminal "uniqueness" almost killed me. It certainly destroyed all things and people around me. I am just a garden variety drunk. Staying sober so I can hopefully help another suffering AA.
Peace to you all and love in the AA Fellowship
Brandon
Member: Donna M
Location: Oregon
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 01:29:52
Hi all, Donna, alcoholic. Today I have 11 days of sobriety! I have been going to live meetings and actually participating in the meetings. I already feel better about myself, which I guess is a start towards forgiveness.
I want to say welcome to all the newcomers. I remember how desperate I was when I found this site. Like Lisa, I had just gotten out of a relationship that meant very much to me, but it helps me to remind myself that we have no control over other people. I have to say that to myself about 200 times a day actually to try and not miss my ex so much. This disease was a contributing factor to pushing him away, and realistically we will never get back together, but by coming to terms with my addiction and trying to regain sanity, perhaps the next relationship will be more healthy. Funny how I can look forward to the future now that I'm not drinking. Lisa, it will get better.
Thanks everyone for being here!
Member: Andrew C
Location: Fife, Scotland
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 02:55:16
Thanks for your comments. I don't know what I'll do in the future, but at least I didn't drink last night (didn't sleep either).
Sally, I'm 32, been drinking for about 8 years.
I'll stick to the discussion next time.
Thanks
Member: Alex B
Location: North Dakota
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 03:00:29
Alex-alcoholic,
I'm not sure who it was,but someone said that AA was a cure for our disease:alcoholism. There is no cure for alcoholism. If there was, I wouldn't go to meetings all the time and work the steps. Meetings and steps are wonderful- a gift from God. But if I could take a pill and be "well" or "cured" I sure as hell would.
What we have is a daily reprieve,contingent upon our spiritual maintenance. We recover, WE ARE NOT CURED.
I'm really happy there are meetings online,this is a really cool idea. No matter where you go AA is always there.
I didn't come to AA to find God or be a good person-least of all help others.I came to AA because i didn't want to feel the way I felt anymore. I didn't want to die. And to do that I needed to work the steps and go to meetings and stop drinking.
I have gotten so much more from AA than I expected.So to the newcomer-keep coming back and work the steps.
I'll close with oone of the first things i ever heard at a meeting:
"I WON'T GUARANTEE THAT WORKING THE STEPS WILL OPEN THE GATES OF HEAVEN AND LET YOU IN. BUT THEY WILL OPEN THE GATES OF HELL AND LET YOU OUT"
Thanx for letting me share.
Member: Lisa
Location: UK
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 05:29:49
Hi everyone, Lisa, alchoholic. Yesterday I felt very low, hardly suprising when I had been on yet another bender for most of the weekend. I was very down about having done this, which also contributes to my pain about my split with my ex. But last night it kind of dawned on me, that I am SICK AND TIRED of feeling like the victim, I don'dt have to be the victim if I don't want to, Its very easy to get caught up in an ongoing cycle of self pity, Well I have decided that this is not for me. I will continue to go to meetings and practice the steps. Yesterday I phoned the AA line, and she strongly advised that I get a sponser, this is somthing I have known I should do for a while, I shall do this, evan if it is just a temporary sponser. Thanks PHIL for you e-mail and your words of encouragement, Thanks JUSTIN H & DONNA - like you said breaking up is never easy, but carrying on drinking whilst trying to heal the pain, just prolongs the pain. DONNA, I lost my boyfreind mainly through the effect my disease had on him, and also like you, I know, that realisticly, we will never get back together, And although It still hurts, A funny thing is that I KNOW that its for the best,so I get confused as to why I am still hurting. That said, I also KNOW that my sobriety is the most important thing I have, If I am to have other things in life. One other thing, you mentioned about, 'maybe the next relationship' you have will be better, I cannot imagine ever having or being close to someone like that ever again, I know everyone says this, but I find it impossible to comprehend, and because of that, I do get worried that I will end up alone, do you identify with these feelings too?? Thanks for everyones support LISAX
Member: DonF
Location: NH
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 09:16:25
Thanks for identifying yourself Cherita. We need newcomers to help us remember how our life had been, and what it takes to get sober. More on the Paradox: It's the first drink that gets us drunk, because one drink tastes like another. Drunk takes a drink. Drink takes another drink. Drink takes the drunk. One drink is too many, a thousand is not enough. That's the mental part, but as one said above, earlier, the physical part is craving a drink, and detox with medical attention is important. The spiritual part is we had been settling for a lesser life. The 12 Steps provide a beautiful, spiritual way of life, and BTW, we have to be sober to be teachable. Not religious...that involves saving the soul, and it's something we may become capable of interest in, once we become committed to saving our ass through AA.
Member: Sally W.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 09:45:23
Andrew, bless your Scottish heart! How did you do it? I couldn't go a night without drinking until after I started going to meetings. Then somehow "the miracle of AA" took over, and not drinking was easy and sleeping was a breeze. (No middle of the night dehydration).
For the record, I am not a spiritual person. Those who speak of the necessity for establishing contact with God are speaking for themselves (even Bill W.!). It can work anyway.
My maiden name is Moir. How Scottish is that!? Maybe that's why I'm particularly excited about the possibility of your finding out about this new way of life. Any chance at all that you'll go to a meeting or two?
Sally
Member: Ingrid S.
Location: Georgia
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 10:41:05
Ingrid, alcoholic, here.
To the newcomers: I was 23 when I came to my first AA meeting. I did not know for sure if I was a REAL alcoholic or just had a little drinking problem. I was told to give this thing a real shot for 6 weeks. If I was not an alcoholic, I would find out and could safely lay the issue to rest and keep on drinking without worrying. If it turned out that I was indeed an alcoholic, AA would be the best place to be.
Sounded like a win-win proposition to me and 11 years later I am still here, with continuous sobriety.
On forgiveness: I have had tremendous results in this area by working the steps. I take the inventory, talk to someone about it, uncover my own defect, ask HP to remove it and try to make amends. Praying for the "offender" and treating him/her with respect and courtesy, even when I don't feel like doing so, has helped each and every time.
Thank you for letting me share. Ingrid
Member: Sherri R.
Location: Indiana
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 12:17:55
Sherri here.
Cherita I will be praying for you!! Forgiveness is so important, but difficult for me. I have trouble forgiving myself for being week and letting my loved ones down. Eventually, I think I will forgive myself, but right now my mistakes are still too clear in my mind.
Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 12:34:22
Hope the last arrivals to the last house on the block are hanging in there. Just got to share with you – it gets better – then it gets worse – then it gets better – then it gets not so bad – then it gets good. Maybe sometimes it gets OK. Then it gets really good and really OK. Then it gets really really good and really really OK. Then you can FORGIVE yourself.
That part for me was around pages 83 and 84 of our text book – you know the one I mentioned last time, the one real alcoholics use. The book we use to find the power to get rid of the pain.
Hope you all got to a meeting. That’s where I had to go a long time ago to find the solution. I still go to meetings today wherever I am in the world – that’s where I remember where I came from. When the FOG lifts have a good look around you.
When I came to the rooms of AA at first it felt a little strange, but I knew that’s where I should be. I came because I had nowhere else to go. I go back from time to time just to remember and see the newcomers that have come to find the solution. Some stay, some go – I am powerless as to what they choose to do – all I know is a lot come back. One attempt at the booze and one more failure, but none return better off than they left – always they are in deep trouble.
But look around you and you will notice a few with a little sparkle in their eyes – kind of like stars at night – with a little smile – a nice compassionate smile. You will feel that they know where you are at. They will always be absorbed in their own peace – sharing a little – not too loud – not too irritable – not too restless – they will not be obsessed, just content and grateful to be there, always asking genuinely how you are doing. You will feel the care for you – you will feel they have something you want, not material, and they will have an aura around them. If you are like me, you’ll want that – that’s what I wanted.
When the atmosphere is electric and the world is falling apart they will not be too disturbed, they will not panic, they will be of sound mind, they will always want to help you. See I remember them. Their public relations policy will be based on attraction not promotion, a bit like my sponsor (by the way he’s a one-eyed New Mexican),
I figured out it was better to hang around him with his aura than a few others with two good eyes but so couldn’t see the sunlight. My sponsor, the one-eyed New Mexican, boy did he know what he was about. He had a lot of experiences. He had lost his wife – lost his kids – lost his dog – lost his property – lost his other eye in a bar – been to jail often - been to treatment – been to the asylum – ended up in a state mental hospital somewhere in Nebraska. Then he got out – got drunk – got to AA - stayed since – just like me – YEAH that’s my sponsor.
So if I can stay sober you guys and gals can.
Member: Kathy F
Location: Iowa
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 13:18:56
My name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.
Welcome to all the newcomers. I haven't been able to make time lately to follow the Discussion room, but I am hoping now that school has started that I will be able to join in a little more often.
Now, on FORGIVENESS... It is easy for me to forgive people now as long as they ask for it. I guess that's the key for me. Who ever needs to be forgiven needs to ask for it... that means when I finally needed to forgive myself - I had to ask for it. There are still individuals out there in this world that I haven't forgiven, but I have worked on moving on in my life... forgiving myself for my role in it and leaving the rest to deal with at some other time.
garandkath@aol.com ICQ# 27446401
Member: Brandon F. 12/12/96
Location: Tulsa, OK
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 17:27:38
Hi everybody, Brandon alcoholic here. I will be venturing down to Florida to see my Dad during Labor Day week and was wanting to know of some meetings I could attend on my way, as well as in Port Charlotte. I will be driving the southern route from Tulsa, OK through Louisiana and across over to FL. Sure could use some help with planning that part of my trip. Please advise.
Member: Another Drunk
Location: without a drink
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 17:53:27
Brandon,
Get in your car and go. When you stop for the night, call a hospital and ask if you can talk to an alcoholic in their ward. If none are available, go to the nearest bar or some sordid place. Seek out a suffering alcoholic. Give him your messeage. No matter what, you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the road....love
Member: Rich.A
Location: England
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 19:21:39
Good Evening I'd just like to thank you all for your welcome and advice, it's down to you that I've gone two days so far.
Thanks and god bless
Rich
Member: "Yawn"
Location: Gold Country, Calif.
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 20:26:48
My name is "Yawn" & I'm an alcoholic/addict. Hang in there Rich, I'll be praying for you my friend. Congradulations on your two days! I've got 7 months myself, and I did it 'One Day at a Time' with the help of God and AA. This is a great program Rich, it's beyond your wildest dreams. If you stick with the program, you'd better hang onto your seat - it's one hell of a ride!!!!
Thank you God and thank you AA!!!
Member: Annie S.
Location: Portugal
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 20:28:39
Hi there .once have also emptyed a bottle,so i know the feeling ,Cherita.it wasn't easy,.in that time i couldn't live with or without a drink.I was allways drunk.
but one day God sent me to that door where a A.a meeting was taking place,and He gave to chances:wherever i have a drink,or i stay sober.
in realituy this doesn't exist,but my sick head tells me so,and my mind ,worked by a simple program keeps teelling me that if I have a drink I'll loose this twoo chances and IŽll be back to where I was. God Bless All Alcoholics and releve us from the Pain
Annie s. Portugal
Member: Katie A
Location: TN
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 23:00:15
Congrats to Cherita and the others who recently threw in the towel. This is day 5 for me and it was an emotional one. Hung in there and called someone in the group.Reality is hard to face after about 35 years of hiding in a bottle. Have been in and out for about 10 years and never got over 90 days and that was only once. That relapse was due to getting involved in relationship too soon. I'm too emotionally unstable to handle having a boyfriend at first. PLUS we slacked on meetings.And yes the pain of his finally leaving me made it doubly hard to try to get sober again. It took a couple of years for me to get back and try again. And has taken a month to get over three days. I've got a bad case of the "don't care"syndrome.Glad this site is here. Love to all of you!
Member: Patt
Location: Oregon
Date: 24 Aug 1999
Time: 23:55:29
Good evening, all. Patt, grateful, recovering alcoholic here. This site has been absolutely wonderful this week--I love it when there are newcomers who really want this program and put it right out there. Hang in there, all of you, and hang onto your hats because you're in for the most exciting and character-building ride of your lives! I believe down to the tips of my toes that AA was given to us by a loving and merciful God who wanted to salvage those of us who'd thrown outselves into the ashcan--we're really good people when we sober up and start living the way we were intended to.
Just a little pointer in the way of practicality for those who are a bit "jittery" and in mild withdrawal (get yourself to detox if it gets bad, as several people have suggested). I found that, when the THIRST was on me it helped for me to have something cold and sweet to drink--soda pop, lemonade, iced tea, whatever--and keep busy. Call AA, get names and phone numbers of people of your own sex, go to face-to-face meetings, find a sponsor (someone who works this program and has the kind of sobriety you want to have), and best of all, get yourself a copy of "Alcoholics Anonymous" (lovingly known as "The Big Book") and start reading it (all of the black parts) from the foreward straight on through. No judgments on how it's written, whether or not it's "politically correct" or too gender specific, just READ it, underline it, write your thoughts in it, carry it to all the meetings you go to--hang onto it, follow what it suggests, and I guarantee you that your life will change if you are constant in your efforts and DO NOT DRINK, even if your rear falls off. That has worked for me for 8-1/2 yrs with the help and grace of the God of my understanding and members of AA who loved me when I was very unlovable and encouraged me to keep coming back. The longer I'm sober the more excited I get about AA.
Forgiveness is hard as hell in some cases, but when I pray for the person who has caused me pain, and then pray for them some more, there is great relief for me. I never could hold a grudge, and praying REALLY does the trick.
Thanks for letting me share. (To all the Brits, "Cheers," old dears. Hope to get back there next year to England and Scotland (I'm a Shaw from Inverness on my dad's side). Hi, ho.
Member: B.DAY
Location:
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 02:20:39
HAPPY 11TH BIRTHDAY DONNA M.! MAY YOU ADD AT LEAST 11 MORE!
Member: Don H.
Location: Prague CZ
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 05:56:41
I'm Don H., alcoholic. My home group is the Prague Promises group, Prague, Czech Republic. Before that, High Noon, Grace Church, Alexandria, VA. I didn't learn what I needed to know in kindergarten. But everything I need to know I have learned from you in AA.
I worry when I hear a newcomer or returnee say, "I'm really going to try hard this time." That sounds like he or she will be doing the same things again with greater effort. That was me, for sure. I drank from age 17 (1947) to age 55 (1985), and I tried to control, limit, stop, alter, etc lots of times. I tried harder and harder. But a lot of other things had priority.
I had to raise my children, manage my marriage, work my jobs, solve the problems of the world, and control all around me.
Here are some of the things you-all told me over the years that have changed all that.
o The late John G., Alexandria: "Forget about getting a job. Forget about saving your marriage. Don't drink, go to meetings, and be grateful."
o Kitty, Washington, D.C.: "Keep on doing what you've always done, keep on getting what you've always got."
o Ken, Alexandria: "Guilt is an arrogance. What you are saying is that you are better than your behavior."
o George, Washington, D.C.: "Don't ask, 'How can I try harder?' Ask instead: 'What can I do differently?' "
o Patricia, Washington, D.C.: "If you're having trouble with a step, the problem almost always is that you haven't really done the previous step. Go back and work it through."
You all also told me about "Insanity A" and "Insanity B." Insanity A is the one we all know coming in. It's doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result this time. Insanity B is finding our (or hearing about) what works. And then not doing it. You told me about "benign hypocrisy." You told me that trying to fix my behavior by first chaning my feelings doesn't work. But changing my behavior -- behaving appropriately "as if" that's is what I felt like doing -- would result in changes in my feelings.
You guys were right! Thank you. If any or all of this helps you, pass it on.
Member: John
Location: France
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 08:40:16
Hi John here and an alkie,
I'm 28, have been a very irregular member of AA for the last 10 months. I'm back where I first came from when I went into my first meeting. I hope at some point to understand that I cannot drink EVER but so far I guess I haven't quite understood the meaning of staying sober. I haven't had a drink in two days but my last drunken nite has been, like so often when I drink, a total disaster. I have no recollection whatsoever of most of monday nite ... I was at work when that happened and I haven't returned or even called so much I fear to ear what I may have done ... My boss who also happens to be a friend of close to 15 years has always been supportive and I have the feeling I have completely let him down this time.
Member: r ico J.
Location: tampa
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 08:44:45
Very glad I found this site! I'm 18 hours out from my last drink.Feelin a little shaky (very small drink}, but hanging in there. Iused to go to open meetings years ago, but never dreamed I be searching for help one day. But Here I am, an alcoholic. By the way Not drinking for 5 minutes helps, a day looks awfully long right now...Thanx
Member: Jami H.
Location: Texas
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 10:33:22
I'm always grateful for that last drink as well as the one not taken. I was born alcoholic and will die one. I am so proud when I hear that someone is going after the same thing I did. Sobriety. My life has changed all the way. I love the program of AA. I just takes One Day At A Time to do it. When I feel overwhelmed and fear that a drink might help, I think about how it was, what is was like, and how I got here. Thank God the program is here for me. No matter what happens, my higher power is with me. Because I'm human, I do make mistakes. I would not be here without the people in the program or the 12 steps and traditions. My sobriety date is January 18, 1997 for which I am truly grateful. Forgiveness for the past comes in time and I feel should not be rushed. One of the promises is that "we will not regret the past nor wish to close the door on it." The promises are working in my life everyday if I choose to see them. Congratulations and I love you!
Member: Albuquerque John
Location: Scotland (today)
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 12:33:34
Welcome Annie S in Portugal
Spent some time with your small group in Portimao last winter en route to Albuquerque New Mexico. Will be in Portugal all this winter and maybe catch a few meetings on the River Tagus.
Christopher Columbus must have been an alcoholic also. The rest of the world at that time thought the earth was flat - not him. He even convinced a lady to give him the money to enjoy himself! A real alcoholic.
See you in Portugal this winter.
Member: Lynn C.
Location: Raleigh, NC
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 14:41:08
I am an alcoholic and my problem is Lynn. but thanks to the grace of God and the fellowship and love of AA's I have been able to stay sober one day at a time. It is wonderful to be with Cherita and others who are finding that they can do it one day or even five minutes at a time. The simple stuff worked best at the beginning for me. That was to go to meetings and get a sponsor, even a temporary one. I picked someone who had the kind of serenity I always wanted to have but thought was impossible. She helped me learn to accept my disease, accept my life just as it was, to work the steps and not to take a drink a day at a time. I got plenty of phone numbers at meetings and called them when I felt crazy because I figured anyone was less crazy than I was. Forgiveness works for me when I am willing to do it. If it is really tough and I feel stubborn about forgiving I pray for the willingness to forgive. In the Big Book, it says to pray for people you have a resentment against(that was practically everyone when I first got sober). In your prayers ask for that person everything you wish for yourself for two weeks. In that time the resentment will be removed. Everytime I do this it works. This saves me a lot of wear and tear. The hardest ones to forgive are myself and those closest to me, but I am working on it. This is a great topic.
It is great to see so many happy, joyous and free people here!
Member: Stephanie L
Location: London, Canada
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 16:14:24
I was at a weekend Rally in Woodstock,Ontario just this past weekend. There was a speaker from Michigan and she shared with us that if we are struggling with our drinking or others drinking that all I had to do was pray That God carries the message through other peopple and that God will supply the people to carry the message to all the other suffering alcoholics out there. I realized I could apply this to any area in my life. I'm struugling with letting go of someone in my life and I'm not being treated fairly by this person so I have prayed for this individual and that someone will carry the message to them. This touched my heart in a way that no one will ever know. God works through people and if anyone is struggling with this then I'm here to tell you that God is present everywhere and he is here to help anyone who wants it. Thanks for listening. Hope everyone has another 24 hours
Member: Angela
Location: NY
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 16:30:03
Just came from an AA online meeting - HOW FRUSTRATING - an hour of sheer nonsense-hardly anyone spoke -just a lot of HELLOS and no advice -then I was told AA was not for advice - what is it for if not to share advice. Boy, was I disillusioned. I felt so alone. Anyone else feel this way???
Member: Dale S
Location: California
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 16:41:10
"To have the strength to give up control" This is the topic that I got out of Cherita's post. It is like an out of the mouths of babes type thing. She might have said "To have the courage to give up control"
The serenity prayer "God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change" So even better she could have said "give me the serenity to accept the fact that I have lost control" It is a gruesome thought that you have admit that you are powerless over being a drunk. That you have only two choices, to turn the rest of your life over to booze or turn the rest of your life over to God. It not easy to admit you have screwed up your life so bad that you can no longer be in control.
Once we have done so we realize that completely loosing control and placing complete dependence on a Higher Power actually is the natural state we are meant to be in. We are set free. We find the freedom and independence we have always sought. We finally find the happiness and fulfillment. Some of even find that this God thing gives us the felling we have always looked for in alcohol. The term 'drunken in spirit' comes to mind.
Cherita is on the verge of grasping step 1 and it is truly a beautiful thin to witness first hand. I have herd from several people that "We don't take step one. Step one takes us" I believe someone who has done 'step one' 100% will understand this statement.
Member: SuzyQ
Location: NJ
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 17:21:23
Suzy here- alcoholic. I,m sober ninty days now and in the mist of this I also left my husband. So many emotions to deal with after shutting them all out for so long. By the way It does feel wonderful. Forgiveness, especially of myself is going to take some time. There is alot to account for. My ex is REAL helpful in pointing out my defects,but I have to seek for myself what needs to be forgiven. The humility I am currently experiencing, due to my sobriety and my current situation is enlightening. I would like to share something that a dear friend of mine sent me today,I found it very helpful. Pain is a great teacher of humility, a great equalizer, as it were. In a sense it humanizes us by giveing us a deeper awareness of the suffering of others through suffering ourselves. I'd always known that love and laughfter and friendship brought us closer to one another. I never imagined pain could do the same. Thank you so much to all the members of AA for being here for me.
Member: Phil A
Location: Geordieland UK
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 17:56:23
Hi All
Angela
I haven't been to an online meeting, but I go to a lot of f2f meetings.
You can get advice if that's what you ask for on a personal level, but AA is about sharing our experience, strength and hope and the suggested 12 steps of Recovery.
People can give "advice", but it is up to you whether or not you take their suggestions.
wallyphil@currantbun. com
Peace and Serenity. Phil
Member: Sue L
Location: Raleigh NC
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 19:30:07
I am at the library learning about meetings on line. Not drinking and going to meetings have kept me sober 14 yrs. That is of course by the grace of my Higher Power. Don't ever give up!
Member: Christa H
Location: USA
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 20:10:32
I just wanted to say that it's been 1 week and 4 days since I decided not to drink alcohol anymore. No problem at all so far for me. That last day of drinking was bad enough to make me stop. Reading the message boareds here is very helpful. Thanks to everybody who participates. Oh, as far as the topic, forgiveness, goes: I think the past is the past, no need to forgive myself, I'd rather forgive people who allowed me to make my own decision as to when to quit drinking.
Member: katie A
Location: TN,USA
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 22:42:00
The chapter that has helped me the most this time around is "More about Alcoholism" in the Big Book. My sposor told me to look at the page that lists all the different ways that we have tried to control our drinking.
At a meeting tonight I had a piece of paper nad drew a line down the middle. On the left I made a list of what alcohol brings to me and on the right, what AA brings to me. First one was, ease and comfort for a while (some of the time), ON the right hand side, "ease and comfort most if not all of the time". Second was guarenteed hangover in varying degrees. ON the right, clear head and good physical feeling. ANd the list went on.
But I know that self knowledge will not guarentee that I won't drink again. Psychic change? If it's happening, it's slow and I can't see it. Well after only 6 days, what can I expect.
As far as forgiveness, I don't know where I am on that. BUt the resentment prayer on 552 is the best way I think.
God Bless you ALL!!!
Member: BILLW
Location: CHEAPEAKEVA
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 23:46:30
BILL W ALCOHOLIC I have been sober for six days. I went to a meeting tonight it gave me. a peace at mind. then i came on here evreyone here has help me understand the aa way.Iwant thank all of you.because when .ICANT GO TO A MEETING I CAN ALWAYS COME HERE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE , ,
Member: BILLW
Location: CHEAPEAKEVA
Date: 25 Aug 1999
Time: 23:48:19
BILL W ALCOHOLIC I have been sober for six days. I went to a meeting tonight it gave me. a peace at mind. then i came on here evreyone here has help me understand the aa way.Iwant thank all of you.because when .ICANT GO TO A MEETING I CAN ALWAYS COME HERE. THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE bill,w ,
Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 01:45:17
James, Alky,
"IF we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves, why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?" "Reluctance to forgive with nonadmission of wrongs to others, blocks off the fasinating adventure of learning to live with others." Step 8 Twelve Steps and twelve traditions
I'm so glad Bill W. wrote step ten to say "Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong to promptly admit it" Not "IF" we were wrong. The admission of my wrongs to others helps not only to keep the wreckage of the present cleaned up, also I don't have to set the traps for unforgiveness, resentments and Jack Daniels by the half-gallon. I get to go out and play nicer with the other kids.
I remember looking and listening at AA meetings to topics like this and wondered why all this stuff was so important when all I wanted to do was stop drinking. And what does this stuff have to do with alcohol. But truly, forgiveness, honesty openmindedness, and willingness and topics like that had substance and weight, like an anchor that held me to my chair and I got the clue that to just not drink would not be enough, but if I took that first drink, it would be too much! Thank you for helping me one day at a time for making sobriety the top priorty in my life. Hope to see you on campus. In the Fellowship of the Spirit. James L.
Member: Johnita S
Location: Missouri
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 01:48:00
Hi My name is Johnita and I'm a grateful alcoholic.
Cherita - God bless. For all newcomers Welcome, come back, but attend f2f meetings and get a sponsor.
The topic I think was forgiveness. I had to forgive myself before I could even think about anyone or anything else. My problems were of my own making and I found I have been looking real hard at the part in the Lord's prayer where it says "Forgive us our trespasses AS we forgive those that trespass against us..." If I can't forgive others how should I expect to be forgiven.
Thanks for everyone who welcomed me and shared thier experience, strength and hope when I was in dire straights the last time I was here.
You are all in my prayers and God Bless you all. One last thing to share, a friend of mine once told me "Get a sponsor, get a homegroup, read the Big Book and, by the way don't drink." With this wisdom we can learn to live sober one day at a time and avoid surviving drunk.
Thanks again... Johnita
Member: Michael B.
Location: Arizona
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 03:58:58
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic, sober today only by the grace of God and the Fellowhip. Forgiveness is a broad but important topic for AA's. My own trials with forgiveness, as with others who previously commented, revolve not only around forgiving others, but forgiving myself as well. In fact, I'm beginning to believe that being able to forgive myself and being able to forgive others are closely linked. Related to this, forgiveness involves two important processes for us alcoholics--letting go of resentments and becoming more tolerant, actions which the AA literature emphasizes will help us stay sober.
Necessarily, then, my understanding of forgiveness has been transformed in sobriety. In terms of myself, this transformation, (which has resulted directly from not taking that first drink and practicing the steps to the best of my ability, i.e. getting out of the way and letting my Higher power work) has gradually resulted in my being less likely to "beat myself up" over any failure to meet specific goals or behaviors. And in being less quick to condemn myself, I am becoming less quick to condemn others. Equally important for me, my new understanding of forgiveness has also included abandoning, as a rule, the commonly referred to couplet "forgive and forget." Because of the success of the "tough love" policy I have experienced in my recovery, I am less quick to forget, which I think is a very wise approach to things. I think it helps me to be truly caring as opposed to careless and carefree. But, again, the forgiveness side of this couplet is a must for my own sobriety and sanity. Otherwise, I will continue to hold resentments and struggle with intolerance.
Member: Lisa S
Location: UK
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 05:18:07
Hi everyone, I went to a meeting last night and and found myself a sponsor, albeit a temporary one, I don't know her that well, but I definitley need some guidance to start the steps, and start taking this whole AA thing seriously, and make it a part of my everyday life, I don't imagine this is going to be easy, But living life as an alcoholic binger is no fun either. I have been forced (through trials and major errors) to see also, that for the moment I will not be able to go out to the pub or mix with any of my so called 'freinds' So instead I will spend that time at meetings and I am hoping that once my thinking changes even just slightly, that I won't WANT to hang out with the old crowd, I can only go by the people I see at the meetings and listening to there stories and how there lives changed for the better. AND KEEP COMING BACK.AND PRAY EVERYDAY. Love to everyone here. LISAXX
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 07:20:01
I'm Fred and a grateful alcoholic. Thanks for the great wisdom contained in your generous messages. I read many of your comments and stories with tears in my eyes, and try to bring your messages into my own life. Forgiveness: I have the hardest time forgiving me. I've come to the conclusion that a lot of the wrongs done to me when I was drinking were my fault. If I wasn't so hyper and paranoid, many of these "wrongs" would have "glanced off" instead of causing a rage in me. By the way, now having been sober for many years, I realize the same principle applies now. I am only wronged if I allow myself to take it that way. It's my scum bag, low dog behavior when I was drunk that I have a problem forgiving. It helps when I remember that God has forgiven me for those things, and what am I, smarter than God? Anyway, I work on forgiveness almost evey day, work on not ever ever repeating any scum bag behaviors, and staying sober one day at a time. My favorite song is "Amazing Grace" because I truly feel it was written about me. Love to all, Fred.
Member: george w
Location: kentucky
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 09:23:26
good morning all; i'm george, an alcoholic.
got laid off from my "dream job" 3 weeks ago, as part of a company downsizing, my wife and i have been living apart for 10 months now (i've been sober 9)....and thanks to al-anon, she is practicing major detachment (don't know if that's good or bad). anyway, the good news is that thanks to this program, and the many good people in it, and my restored spirituality, i'm not drinking. i have much to be thankful for; the glass in my life is half full
Member: Justinh H
Location: Canada
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 12:28:29
Lisa
Sounds like you're really off to a great start. If you start to have physical withdrawal symptoms you should consider going to a doctor for advice on nutrition, as this can really help.
As for pubs and things, in the uk it can be hard to socialise without going to them. I still go to pubs, bars and clubs. This isn't advised by most people but I haven't had any problems with it so far. I tell people I have a liver disorder and I can't drink. Not really far from the truth.
Member: Paula
Location:
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 13:28:58
Hi, My name is Paula and I am on the roller coaster ride of recovery. All I know is that staying sober is so MUCH better than drinking. How do you change a pattern of thinking for 25 years. I feel so alone and afraid all the time but with the help of meetings I know I can do it. If only I could feel God's presence.... I pray and pray all the time. I know some day it will happen.
Thanks for listening.
Member: Amber H.
Location: Brooksville, Florida
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 13:53:11
Hello, I am Amber an alcoholic and addict... Cherita August 21 is a wonderful day to be sober. The happiest day was when I took that first big step, and that my girl is something else... You make sure you go to meetings, hit your knees when the times get tough and call someone when you need it.. This club that we have all paid our dues to is exclusive but all loving and non judging...
Member: Amber H.
Location: Brooksville, Florida
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 13:59:30
Hello, I am Amber an alcoholic and addict... Cherita August 21 is a wonderful day to be sober. The happiest day was when I took that first big step, and that my girl is something else... You make sure you go to meetings, hit your knees when the times get tough and call someone when you need it.. This club that we have all paid our dues to is exclusive but all loving and non judging...
icq #26984040 email comeon@gate.net
Member: Lisa LC
Location: Ventura County, CA.
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 14:32:17
Hi, my name is Lisa LC and I'm an alcholic and an addict- Welcome to the newcommers newer than myself. Keep comming back till you WANT to come back-It really does work and I promise you that you will feel better physically and emotionally. Those darn withdrawl syptoms will get better. I know I hated it and it sure felt lousy. But, the good news is you only have to go through this once. You don't have to do it over and over like I have. It's taken me almost 10 years to get the small time that I have now at 7 months. I feel good today and remind myself everyday where I have come from. The topic that was chosen is Forgiveness-That's a good one. It so happens that I need to say I am sorry to a friend that I lashed out at last weekend. It is nothing that great, but I have learned that we have to continue with step 10 on a daily basis. If we want to stay sober, we must keep our side of the street clean. I had to forgive myself when I first tried getting sober when I just couldn't let go of the feeling that I had really hurt my family when I was out there drinking and using. Although, I was fortunate enough for they all forgave me. I think it has been incredible. What I had done to everyone seemed so terrible and I thank God everyday for allowing this forgiveness that they have overcome. And, to have been able to forgive myself. Thank you for the topic, it has made me feel grateful one more time and allowed me to see that I as to do step 10 one more time today. Thank you God, all you who have shared and for allowing me to share. Happy Birthday to the birthday people and congratulations to our chip takers! Lisa LC / LCRMOMX3@cs.com
Member: Julia L
Location: Scotland
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 14:38:40
Paula
God’s presence is the only reliable thing in this life. I feel it when I can remember to be grateful for what I have and stop hankering after the impossible – “God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change”.
But I have to remember to use the other two parts of the Serenity Prayer – when necessary pray for the courage and the wisdom. I also know that the courage and the wisdom will be given to me – not always in the way that I want or a the time that I want, but always in the measure that I need.
And how did I learn this? Through the pages of the Big Book and KNOWING that the Programme of Recovery put together in the name of the First One Hundred WORKS IF I WORK IT.
Thank you for making me take time to remember what to do – not just talk about it but do it.
I can forgive myself today for all that is past and be grateful for the gift of sobriety – forgiving others is more difficult and all part of growing up and making spiritual progress. It’s the difference today between apologising “just in case” for anything and everything I’d ever done – drinking and sober - and hoping for forgiveness and knowing today that I can apologise for my part in a problem but stand back from any other person’s part in that problem. Detachment is another lesson I must remember to study on a daily basis.
The most important thing in my life is my sobriety – to keep it I must give it away. Thanks for giving me the opportunity.
Member: DAVID B
Location: ST LOUIS, MO
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 14:44:44
Hi Cherita -
I'm Dave and I'm an alcoholic.
You have rcd some good direction in the previous responses.
Just remember that it is your higher power who gets you sober. Now that you are sober, what fills the space that drinking used to fill? That's where the first 164 pages of the Big Book come into play. It is in these few wonderful pages that you will learn how do live sober; AND BE HAPPY WHILE YOU ARE DOING SO.
God Loves you. You are His/Her perfect little child. I will pray that you find this for yourself.
Member: Don H.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 15:49:27
Don alcoholic. Well done Chertia. Keep comming and keep it real simple. Get some Good Orderly Direction from a sponser. Try and get to as many meetings as possible within the next 90 days. And start to prey, even if you don't beleive. This is what they told me when I first starting going to meetings and it has changed my life, just for today. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: mae m.
Location: narrowsburg, n.y.
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 16:08:37
hI CHERITA IF YOU FOLLOW ALL THE PREVIOUS SUGGESTIONS OF PEOPLE WHO LOVE AND CARE ABOUT YOU IN THIS WONDERFUL FELLOWSHIP YOU CAN'T GO WRONG. YOU WILL BE IN MY PRAYERS.. i HAVE 32 YEARS IN AA CLEAN AND SOBER.. tHEY ARE THE MOST WONDERFUL YEARS OF MY LIFE... nOW I HAVE HALF OF MY LIFE IN AA.. iSN'T THAT SOMETHING..AND IT WENT SO FAST.. iN THE BEGINNING I never thought I could do it, but a day at a time, going to meetings, getting a sponsor,m joining a group and getting active, and last but not least taking suggestions from those who went befoore me...Then when I had enought to give back I started to sponsor people and gave back a little of what was given to me.. It's a wonderful way of life...Mae New York
Member: LIONEL.C
Location: Campbelltown.Australia
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 19:59:08
Hi Cherita the 21Aug is a great day and the courage it took to pour out the alcohol,can be used to live a life that is Happy ,Joyess and Free.As you can see there are alot of people who care and if you listen to some of the good advise that's been suggested.You may never need to drink again and live a life thats beyond your wildess dreams.I have'nt needed to drink for 8 years today and I believe thats through the grace of God who gave me the strength not to pick up that first drink and to get to A,A.meetings.To live a day at a time and not my hole life in 5 minutes. To be honest with myself.It's not always easy but it can be.Through the ups and downs,God could and would if He were sought. With you in recovery.Lionel
Member: LIONEL.C
Location: Campbelltown.Australia
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 19:59:23
Hi Cherita the 21Aug is a great day and the courage it took to pour out the alcohol,can be used to live a life that is Happy ,Joyess and Free.As you can see there are alot of people who care and if you listen to some of the good advise that's been suggested.You may never need to drink again and live a life thats beyond your wildess dreams.I have'nt needed to drink for 8 years today and I believe thats through the grace of God who gave me the strength not to pick up that first drink and to get to A,A.meetings.To live a day at a time and not my hole life in 5 minutes. To be honest with myself.It's not always easy but it can be.Through the ups and downs,God could and would if He were sought. With you in recovery.Lionel
Member: Michael H.
Location: Chicago ILL. USA
Date: 26 Aug 1999
Time: 23:02:36
Hi Charita, My name is Mike and I'm an alcoholic. With God's grace I've managed to stay sober today. Congrats on the 8yrs. Lionel. I came into AA, not for myself but for my children. I have since learned to trust in the principles of AA. My kids will see my example and give me love irregardless. I however, must maintain my sobriety.
Member: Gaye H
Location: Western Australia
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 00:27:25
Hello This is my first meeting. After doing the questionnaire,I am not sure whether I am an alcoholic or not but I would rather not drink at all and I am finding that very hard. I am afraid to attend an AA meeting but this seems like a safe alternative. Thanks to all the courageous people whose contributions I have just read.
Member: Gaye H
Location: Western Australia
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 00:27:48
Hello This is my first meeting. After doing the questionnaire,I am not sure whether I am an alcoholic or not but I would rather not drink at all and I am finding that very hard. I am afraid to attend an AA meeting but this seems like a safe alternative. Thanks to all the courageous people whose contributions I have just read. Gaye
Member: dave m
Location: s.f. calif
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 01:46:19
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 02:40:23
BILL W: Stay sober today and you'll have a week...Congratulations! I attend meeting in Chesapeake on occasion. Maybe we'll run into each other one of these days. e-mail me anytime: lem15@hotmail.com
Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 03:20:30
James, alky,
Hi Gay, if you are not an alcoholic-you'll do until one comes along. AA meetings are generally safe place, maybe a safer place than the one you came from anyway. I know of no one who has been seriously injured working these 12 steps following the instructions. A word of warning though. If you keep going to those meetings, they'll ruin your drinking.
I, too, found it hard to quit drinking until I realized I quit drinking three times a day. My problem is; I kept picking up a drink! I couldn't NOT pick up a drink. It was at the meetings I found a pack of drunks just like me who weren't drinking and seemed happy about it. They had been where I was and found a way out. At some point I decided to do what they did to get what they got. One guy said, "WE had what you got. We got rid of it!" "If you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it--THEN you are ready to take certain steps. Here's what they suggested for me to do. 1.Don't drink 2. Read,study and apply the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous 3.Get a sponsor 4. Go to meetings 5.Hit your knees and pray If that doesn't work-REPEAT in another order etc..
I could not beat the drinking game on my own. I had to have help. Still do. I came to scoff and stayed to pray. I've always gotten what I needed on God's time. Hope you have a sober day. One heartbeat at a time. James L.
Member: Don H.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 11:53:54
Don alcoholic: Thanks for sharing that with us Gaye. I can understand why you are afraid to attend a meeting. There is a lot of uncertianty in your life right now. Please be advised that no one really knows if you're an alcoholic except you. AA meetings are the safest places I know of for one to share their experience, strenght, and hope. That's where I go to get direction and answers to tough questions. I suggest trying it. I think you will like like what hear and see. God bless!
Member: Tammy P
Location: Ottawa
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 12:49:39
Hi Tammy, alcoholic, I haven't been able to get to any f2f meetings lately and find myself becoming very edgy and that scared suffocating feeling is returning, so I was very grateful to find a online meeting to share this. I have been sober for 11 months, but last night I found myself wanting to get drunk just to spite someone. And that terrified me, It's alcoholism rearing it's ugly head. I really need to get to a meeting but work has kept me from one for about 3 weeks. To all those people who took their first step - WOW - it's very inspirational, and you are all in my prayers - god bless.
Member: Denise K.
Location: Carson City, NV
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 20:38:57
Hi, I'm Denise, an alcoholic. Welcome to all you, especially our newcomers. I remember what it was like, my first day of sobriety. I had the burning bush experience the night before during my final drunk. When I awoke and found that I could remember what happened, I knew I was done drinking. My higher power gave me the biggest miracle of acceptance & surrender. The longer I live sober (four and half years, so far) the more gratitude & wonder I feel about this. I was a daily alcoholic, drinking up to 750 ML of vodka a day. When I realized that the miracle had happened and I knew I wasn't going to pick up another drink, I had this wonderful little butterfly in my chest. I also felt physically like the dog's dinner, but I had that tiny kernel of hope. I wasn't going to drink! I had very inadequate insurance and I knew if I went into a 28-day program, I was going to spend an awful lot of $$. So, I sat on my hands, went to meetings, got phone numbers (not that it was easy to call these people at first, I was so "unworthy" of their time), and turned it all over to a higher power I didn't know I still had.
That's how this program has saved my life. I ask Creator to walk with me, guide me, and help me to accept what happens today as his will, not mine. It's a constant battle to realize that I spent a lifetime (about twenty-one adult years) putting my disease on everything & everyone around me. I had to drink because you made me mad, happy, sad, whatever. I had to drink because the sun came up, and the sun came down. I had to drink because I drank only on days ending with a "y". You name it, I drank over it. What a shock to come into AA and find out that I am responsible for my own stuff. What a concept, accept responsibility for my actions, clean house, trust god!
The true miracle is, you all loved me and kept me here, when I hated myself and couldn't face another day. Forgiveness has come to me slowly in some ways. Sharing with my friends in AA has helped me to realize I am no longer alone. I also know the most wonderful people, some of whom have done things I never dreamed about in the lower than possible forum! I know that they made it one day at a time, and they have inspired me to do the same.
Keep coming back! I refuse to contemplate taking up the past as my future. I thank Creator every night for another 24 hours of sobriety. I also thank Creator not just for the things he has given me, but also for the things he has taken away from me. Life is so precious! I know that no matter how many years I attain in recovery, the bottom line is that I am still only one drink away from a drunk. I think this is the only disease that tells us we are well and that another drink couldn't possibly hurt us! Because of you, my sponsor and especially my higher power, I know better.
Thanks to all of you for keeping me sober one day at a time! Feel free to drop a line to me at:
dkawkeka@govmail.state.nv.us
Member: Susan
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 20:58:17
Hello everyone! My name is Susan and I am an alcoholic. My sobriety date is September 26, 1996. Even though I am approaching 3 years of sobriety, I still have a really tough time accepting that I am an alcoholic. Rationally, I know that I am, but emotionally, it just really makes me angry sometimes that I can't drink like others. Although my anger has subsided since my first year of sobriety, I still find myself angry at times because I can't join in what I think is the "comradery of drinking". I do thank God everyday however that I don't have to live like I did before. I can't go back to that. This is my first cyber meeting and it looks like the topic is forgiveness. Sometimes I look back at some of the things that I did when I was drinking and just really get down on myself. I am working toward forgiving myself, but I'm still not quite there. But I will continue to work at it one day at a time and with God's help, I will keep trying. Thanks for listening.
Member: Sally W.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 22:23:47
I'm Sally, an alcoholic. "Living Sober" is a short, practical, down-to-earth little volume that can be picked up at most meetings. It is wonderful for dealing with those feelings we all get from time to time ("Maybe I'm not a REAL alcoholic", "I'm angry that I can't enjoy social drinking like everybody else"; etc. I highly recommend it to anyone who is struggling to live happily sober.
Member: Lisa E,
Location: Garrison, New York
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 22:38:04
Hi, Lisa,alcoholic. I can really relate to having trouble with forgivness toward myself in relation to the things i did while drinking Susan. The only suggestion I can give you is that it helped me to realize that I have done everything I could to make amends and that my Higher Power has forgiven me, who am I to not forgive myself? Thank you all for helping me to stay sober for just another day.
Member: Sheila B
Location: Oregon
Date: 27 Aug 1999
Time: 23:45:41
Hi everybody. I'm Sheila - an alcoholic. I had a relapse 7 days. I first came to AA about 10 years ago. I was sober as long as I worked the program, when I didn't I got to thinking that I might be a "social drinker" after all - ha ha!! Last Friday nite, I just had to find out one last time that I am an Alcoholic and need AA like Bears need honey!! So, Saturday, I got on the phone and called everybody I could think of to talk to, found a new sponsor, and for the first time, I was totally honest about my situation. Did I need to feel forgiveness for what I had done - you bet I did, because I knew better. I knew how wonderful it felt to be sober, and to get the body healed up from the effects of booze. Sunday I went to a meeting, feeling so grateful to be still alive, because the day before, I didn't think that I would or should live!! At my Tuesday meeting, I told everybody that I relapsed (I was so afraid to admit it). I cried as I read some of your responses, because you are all so dear to me! I know now that I must go to as many meetings as I can fit into my week - one day at a time, and WORK THE STEPS!! Forgiveness is the essence of this program to me, and my new start was to forgive myself for falling down. God picked me up again, and gave me a brand new day... God bless us all
Member: Frank G.
Location: Basin View, Australia
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 01:51:16
Hi, my name is Frank and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time to this site and was pleased to find it. Congratulations Cherita, I remember ten years ago I heard a man talking from a meeting saying it will get better, I thought to myself, if he only new how sick I was, he wouldn't be saying that. I was to learn that he new exactly where I was, and I found that out in time. Hang in there, everybody wishes you well. To Andrew C., to answer your question, there are a lot of YETS in your life, if you cannot find a reason to stop drinking, the YETS may just catch up with you, or any alcoholic who drinks again, or continues to drink. I hope by the Grace of God that the YETS don't get me. But as long as I keep with the strength, I believe I will be fine. To Gaye H. It is true that if you hang around the Fellowship it will ruin your drinking, and maybe that wouldn't be a bad thing, only you can decide that, but if you don't like what we have to offer, there is always the alternative. Thanks for letting me share. frank G. If anyone wishes to e-mail, I'm at gray@shoal.net.au bye for now.
Member: GABRIELLE P.
Location: MANSFIELD, TX
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 08:33:04
HI, GABRIELLE P. GRATEFUL RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC HERE. I WAS GLAD TO HEAR OTHERS SHARE ABOUT GETTING TO MEETINGS. THIS CYBER STUFF IS OKAY FOR KEEPING IN TOUCH WITH OTHERS,AND SHARING IN GENERAL, BUT I PERSONALLY BELIEVE THERE IS NO SUBSTITUTION FOR THE REAL THING. YOU CAN FEEL THE ENERGY IN THE ROOM. IT IS GRATIFYING TO READ ANY AA MATERIALS, LIVING SOBER, CAME TO BELIEVE,AS BILL SEE'S IT,EYE OPENER,12 AND 12, PASS IT ON, AA COMES OF AGE ETC. BUT FOR ME THOSE ARE TO GAIN INSIGHT TO HOE IN KEEPING WITH TRADITIONS IT HAS WORKED FOR THOSE WENT BEFORE ME. I NEED THE F2F CONTACT TO CONTINUALLY REFRESH MY BELIEF IN HOW IT WORKS. I LIKE TO SEE HOE PEOPLE CHANGE FROM WHEN THEY FIRST COME TO A COUPLE OF WEEKS EVEN. IT RENEWS MY HOPE THAT I CAN CONTINUE IN SOBRIETY AND A GREAT DEAL OF THE TIME IT GIVES ME INSIGHT ON THINGS I MYSELF NEED TO CHANGE OR WORK AT. I THANK GOD TODAY THAT I AM NO LONGER PERFECT AND HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. I AM BLESSED TO HAVE BEEN LED TO AA WHERE EVEN A DRUNK LIKE ME HAS A CHANCE TO LIVE. DON'T FORGET "YOU CAN'T FAIL UNTIL YOU STOP TRYING" I HAVE NOT (AND PRAY I NEVER HAVE TO) HAD THE EXPERIENCE OF A RELAPSE BUT A CLOSE FRIEND OF MINE DID. THEY STOPPED GOING TO MEETINGS AND LOST TOUCH WITH THOSE STILL WITHIN THE ROOMS OF AA. SHE DIED DRUNK, SHE NEVER FOUND HER WAY BACK, AND I CAN'T HELP BUT THINK THAT WE IN HER HOME GROUP COULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING MORE FOR HER BUT I KNOW THATS NOT THE TRUTH. YOU HAVE TO WANT WHAT IS THERE, IT IS FREE FOR ALL WHOM ARE WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS TO GET IT. IT IS NOT EASY AND BY NO MEANS FUN MOST OF THE TIME, BUT IT IS WORTHWHILE AND I AM GRATEFUL TO FEEL THAT I DESERVE THAT TODAY. DON'T DRINK, CALL YOUR SPONSER, GET YOUR BUTT TO A MEETING THOSE ARE THE REPEATED THINGS I HAVE TO DO. WHEN THOSE MOMENTS COME WHEN I AM TRYING TO TAKE CONTROL I AM LUCKY ENOUGH TO HAVE PEOPLE AROUND ME WHO DRAG ME KICKING IF NECCESARY TO A MEETING. UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS THE BEST GIFT OF THE PROGRAM FOR ME. IN SOBRIETY, IN AA, IN LIFE. GABRIELLE P.
Member: Rick S.
Location: B.C. NV
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 15:23:06
Andrew C. you are still "having fun" and you have all your excuse basis covered!! But if your drinking is not causing you any problems...just what is it you are drinking to cope with? As a friend of mine says "you don't have to take the garbage truck all the way to the dump!" Your bottom if you have one is entirely up to you...how far down do you want to go? I tell all new comers the same thing "do yourself a favor, don't drink or use long enough for your head to clear up so you can decide if you want what we have or not. If you do then listen to old timers, go to meetings, work the steps, If you don't go back to your life it will continue to get f***ed up. The choice is yours. Seee Yaaa !!!
Member: KatieA
Location: TN USA
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 16:14:33
This is day 9 for me and have been "INTO" getting sober except for the 5th day and today. Feel like all I do is go to meetings. N other life and it won't get better. Know if I drink it will be totally hopeless though. It sucks being lost. Am i on a pity pot? Perhaps.
Member: Kerry B. 3/21/80
Location: Idaho
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 17:19:44
Katie A - I don't know what your habits were when you were drinking, but if you were anything like I was (I went to work, went home, went to the bar (not every night, but most) passed out, got up, went to work, went home, went to the bar-ad infinitum. I had a favorite place to sit at the bar, that is where you would find me most times.
At first I had to get myself out to a meeting most every night, as that is what I did when drinking. If I hadn't I would have been complaining about how boring my life was sober. Embarking on a life of sobriety, a day at a time, we begin to learn new habits, healthy habits. Going to meetings every day is probably the best thing you can do right now. But I want you to know that it is only the beginning, and it will change for you.
As far as the pity pot is concerned, I knew very well how to feel sorry for myself. You are not alone there either. It has taken much patience, tolerance and practice to learn how to do things and feel differently. I wanted it "yesterday" when I was new, but have found that I can only do this a day at a time.
Don't give up, no matter what.
Sorry for posting twice this week (I think it is three).
Member: Avril G
Location: Driffield UK
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 18:01:33
Please excuse the double-post, but I wanted to say a big THANK YOU to all who have shared here this week, especially the newcomers, and well done all of you. Hope to see you on next weeks topic also. NOT SURE if you are an alcoholic yet?? Well, when I said that I was told "You are better off in an AA meeting, pretending that you ARE an alcoholic, than to be sitting at a bar pretending that you are NOT" So, stick around, all you newcomers, you just might hear something which could save your life!! Of course, there IS an ulterior motive for all this---- I NEED YOU NEWCOMERS --- Thanks again for being here for me this week.
Goodie @cwcom.net
ICQ 47039989
Member: MaryJ
Location: Seattle
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 19:21:19
Hi,
I'm Mary and an alcoholic. I agree that forgiveness is truly a gift. It is a gift that God gives us, that we give others, that we give to others and that we give to ourselves.
I believe that God has forgiven whatever we have done in the past and whatever we will do in the future. This is not to say that we should go out and do wrong or bad things, but that as sinful creatures we will always be doing something or saying something that needs to be forgiven.
Since God has forgiven us, we need to forgive those people, including ourselves, that have said or done harmful things to us.
And finally, we need to forgive all others, individuals and groups, that have harmed us or that we have perceived to have harmed us.
Thank you for letting me share. I know I feel this intuitively, but sometimes it is good to write it down.
Member: Darren c
Location: Glasgow Va.
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 20:31:51
Darren c. I am a gratful recovering alkie
This is the first online meeting that i have attended, would like to thank all who have shared. i have not drank for 2 1/2 years. I used to attend at least 5 AA meeting a week. Due to uncontrollable circumstances I can't attend as many as I like to. I could get to 4 a month if I would just do it, but i have become reluctant to go. I have not been to a meeting for 2 months and I thought I would check this out. After reading all who have shared I now have that peaceful feeling that I use to have when I attended on a regular basis. I am deeply grateful!!!!!!
As far as the topic of forgivness, I stuggled for a while with that. I did a step 4 and soon after did step five with my sponser. He was just so great with me . I look back on it now and he was preping me to forgive myself. He would suggest praying to forgive the people I had resentment against, the next day he would ask me if I still recented those peaple. He have me pray again. Ater about 4 days of this he ask me to forgive myself, until that time I hadonly thought of forgiving all the people who had wronged me. I never thought about forgiving myself for the wrongs I did to other people. I prayed for God to forgive me and for GOD to give me the ability to forgive myself, after I had done that for a few nights and mornings, I finally forgave myself, did my fifth step and had complete forgivness for all , including myself.
The new comers, don't drink, go to meetings and read the Big Book, also find a sponcer as that has been the biggest tool that i have used.
Member: BILLW
Location: CHEASPEAKEVA
Date: 28 Aug 1999
Time: 23:48:27
HI BILL W. I AM A ALCOHOLIC, WENT TO A MEETING THUR. AND GOT ME A SPONOR.IT HAS BEEN NINE DAYS SOBER.WE TALK ABOUT FORGIVENESS,AT FIRST I DID NOT KNOW HOW.BUT WITH FAMILY AND A,A I FOUND OUT HOW.IT HAS BEEN HARD FOR ME THE PAST COUBLE DAYS.BUT WITH A.A AND THIS SITE I HAVE LEARN HOW.I HAVE LEARN TO FORGIVE MYSELF AND OTHERS.I WANT TO THANK EVERYONE.FOR SHARING,IALSO WANT TO SAY THAT IT GETS BETER.JUST ONE DAY AT A TIME.LARRY M I WILL E MAIL LATER. GOD BLESSBILLW