Member: Paul T
Location: Lincolnshire UK
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 7:49:07 AM

Comments

Hi, I think I might be first here today! If so, perhaps people could share their experiences on loneliness, especially in the first year or so of sobriety. I am learning to cope on my own (apart from AA meetings and a sponsor, LOL). But I am still alone and it is difficult sometimes, I have cut off old 'friends' as they were just drinking partners. 'Will go to any lengths.....' Anyway, love to all - it has been a while since I posted. Paul


Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa, Fl
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 8:04:20 AM

Comments

Good moring, my name is Tom and I'm an alcholic. Guess I am the first one here so I am going to open the meeting with the serenty prayer: God grant me the senerty to accept the things I can not change ,Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to know the differance. I think "Self Honesty" would be a good subject, If anyone has some burning desire to talk about something else, by all means please do.To me self honesty means looking at my way of living. Thanks for the oppertunty to speak. God Bless and keep coming back, It Works.


Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa, Fl
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 8:10:24 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Tom M again and I think Pauls subject is a great one. Let's go with Pauls.


Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, TX
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 9:33:42 AM

Comments

I'm an alkie named Curtis. Thank you Paul and Tom for the subjects. Two of the most important in my program. I'll try to combine them with what I heard my sponsor share 17 years ago, and that has worked for me since. I came to AA feeling totally alone. I was a hostage of alcohol and in my own prison of solitary confinement. My lack of honesty had put me there. Somehow, during that first hour of that first meeting, I got the idea that I didn't have to ever be alone again or drink again. The seed was planted. I stayed lonely for a while because I was unwilling to get honest about my need to share with people and to feel that I was part of the group, the human race. AA, the members, the fellowship was working before I got there, so I had to be honest about the FACT that they didn't need me; I NEEDED THEM. I had to get phone numbers, reach out, or at least accept the helping hands that were extend to me. I had to honestly admit that I needed help. Alone, by myself, I get drunk. Getting out of self, being open and honest with others, allows me to be free of the loneliness that had possessed me for years. Worked for me then and works for me now. I pick up the phone and call people when I start feeling lonely, or get myself to a meeting. YBIR, curtis093040@selectrec.net


Member: Chan P
Location:
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 10:16:33 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Chan and I too am an alcoholic.On the topic of loneliness, I can surely relate.I by no means am alone. I do have a wonderful family to spend my time with.My problem is I do not open up to them when I AM feeling down and in turmoil.I guess I feel that I should not burden anyone with my troubles. All this really seems to do is esculate the tension in my family.I feel as though they are just waiting for me to falter and all I do is keep setting myself up and my family to continue on this viscious merry go round!I do know that drinking is not the answer. That containing the hurt loneliness and anger deep within me will only contribute to my downfall and to the frustration of all of the people around me that love me and care about what happens to me. In conclusion, I HAVE TO SAY THAT alcohol will only darken my days and keep my feelings of loneliness alive. Something I know I need to get rid of in my life!!!


Member: Ted A
Location: Pensacola, FL
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 12:11:55 PM

Comments

How ya doin'? I'm Ted, an alcoholic with alittle over three years sobriety. After my divorce in 1995, due to drinking, I had alot of time to myself which I filled for the most part with alcohol. For me, dealing with lonliness in sobriety takes action. My higher power and AA gave me my life back, but it's my job to take advantage of all the opportunities that presents. I can go to a movie, the beach, a ball game or just stay home. My choice, but I've got to choose. I try to reconnect with interests and hobbies I had before alcohol took them away, photography and music for example. I've also been trying to develop new ones like digital photography. Additionally, I've become an active member of my church. I find that by developing these interests, I meet people with whom I have something in common. Life is by no means perfect, but taking action both in AA and on the outside helps me enjoy it far better than in the bad of days. Hope this helps some Paul.


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 1:15:24 PM

Comments

Loneliness and Self Honesty ... great topics. When I drank alcohol, using alcohol as a solution I ended up very Lonely and Lacking in Sel Honesty. I like to think that our shared Experience, Strength and Hope is the "Healing Solution". When I attend an A.A. meeting it starts with reading 'How it works', then comes the Serinity Prayer (a 'me' prayer asking for wisdom) then comes the action of listening for the wisdom ... of Self Honesty and Shared personal Experience, Strength and Hope (the 'we' prayer in action) giving a "Healing Power" to live today sober. Starting with my first meeting they told me their sharing their Experience, Strength and Hope helps them with Loneliness and Self Honesty, giving a "Healing Solution" to us all. Thanks one and all for giving a "Healing Solution" another day sober.


Member: John H
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 7:36:03 PM

Comments

Hello you all, John here again and still an alcoholic with almost 16 years of continuous sobriety. 16 years ago I was not honest enough to admit that I was and still am, an alcoholic.Before entering the program I was lonely in many groups even tho' friends or family may be present. The seldom times I was not lonely was when I was doing some activity that was likeable or else drinking--but eventually life was lonely even worse when drinking. That was the evidence of hitting a bottom, that point of spiritual bankruptsy. Having accepted the need for help and AA, I found that loneliness was gradually erased by attending many meetings weekly and following the steps and traditions as suggested. After 9 months of sobriety, I began service work and wotking the 8th and 9th steps. All this with the day at a time of non-drinking created an environment that led to growth in honesty and diminishing degrees of loneliness.The AA program has provided me with sobriety, better behavior and a better view of life, along with better relations with family, friends and acquaintances. Thank AA, God and all of you here. God's blessings to you all.


Member: Bob F
Location: Cumbria -England
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 8:09:55 PM

Comments

I believe that in many instances there is more "honesty"in barrooms than there is in AA ROOMS. I found that one of the most fierce and difficult character defects I have had to deal with is self-deceit.It is a "formidable opponent"Especially when you do,nt know you,re practicing it! God bless you all I hope you know what I,m trying to say.


Member: buz shook
Location: Why,arizona
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 8:38:49 PM

Comments

hello from the desert. itis my first visit.was feeling like a normal day when i dont have any awarenes of sober energy. once i get in touch with my spiritual a. a. family the lonelyness disapates. i am no longer alone in my funk. the spirit of sober people lifts me to a higerpowered lifestyle. you put a smile in my heart and i am no longer alone in the world. thanks for being there.buz 7/16/78.still sober today..you can do it too.


Member: Ann
Location: MA
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 8:46:05 PM

Comments

Ann -alcoholic. Loniness can happen at anytime. At least that's been my experience. I have a little over 4 1/2 years sobriety and I'm incredibly lonely. But if I get "honest" with myself I can see how a lot of it is self inflicted. Sometime during the winter I stopped going to meetings and I quit my home group. I now go sometimes - that does not help me to feel connected. I have to admit I do have a fear of people although if you met me you wouldn't think that. I have a hard time trusting. I actually felt a lot more connected in the first few years probably -because I went to meetings all the time. In the last few years though,I've lost some friends either from not accepting unacceptable (to me) behavior or and maybe from having unrealistic expectations of people. Anyway - I have a hard time going into meetings - I'll drive there but I a lot of times I won't go in. The ironic thing is that I always feel better when I go in. Curtis - your post helped me get honest about my part in it all. In the AA Grapevine a couple of years ago they quoted one of the woman speakers at a big convention as saying something like "what does an alcoholic do when they are lonely - they isolate." That's me


Member: Terry G.
Location: Phoenix AZ
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 9:40:58 PM

Comments

Loneliness, is always self-inflicted.Do I get there? Yes, when my concious contact with God is at a low ebb.When my I.S.M.[ I, ME, Self]takes hold.Ann, you scare me.You know your setting yourself up.The third step,lets me know I never have to be alone again.Make God a friend that you can talk too.He never leaves us,but I can often forget about Him,when I get into self.P.M.S.[poor,me,syndrome.God bless,remember to go home with the one that brung ya.


Member: Jim R.
Location: NE USA
Date: 8/4/2002
Time: 10:10:35 PM

Comments

Jim here, alcoholic. Loneliness. At 10 months sober, it's probably the one issue that'll drive me back out. I got this tape runnin' that says "It's not working," even as I set a new personal sobriety record with each new day. Family's been blasted apart, so in many ways I'm alone for the first time in many years. Sometimes meetings don't work, praying don't work and talking don't work. Some things seem so fundamental to a person all you can operate on is the hope of better days. I used to be lonely in a crowded bar. Now I find I can be lonely even in a crowded A.A. room. I try not to get too wrapped up in that crap. When I find myself in that downward spiral I get up and do something - anything - until the feeling passes ... Getting out of my mind and into the world works best. Home alone is usually my worst enemy.


Member: dave
Location: madison wisconsin
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 7:59:21 AM

Comments


Member: Barbara
Location: Florida
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 8:11:29 AM

Comments

Hi - I'm Barbara - alcoholic - sober 15 months now. Great topics! Thanks Sarah and Terry G. for your words this morning - they are what I needed to hear. I battle lonliness frequently and it's always good to be reminded that "I am not alone" - and I need to take actions to get out of myself.


Member: Dave
Location: Madison Wisc
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 8:13:25 AM

Comments

Hello, The topics of lonliness and self-honesty work well together for me. While using alcohol I learned to live an unhealty way with feelings of lonliness and I didn't know the truth or have any self-honesty at those times. For a number of 24 hours I have been creating a new history in AA. It takes time to get over that old way of living. I appreciate how Bill W talked about "emotional sobriety" In other words I can put down the drink but now I have to work on being emotionally sober. for me right now: I can say I'm lonely but my sponsor might ask," are you changing anything about your life when you're not at the AA Table? Joining a club, volunteer work, running the risk of a possible "no answer" if I ask someone out on a date. Finally as I work the program and this new history infolds when I feel lonely it is now without guilt and remorse and that takes alot of the weight off of this natural human feeling. Thanks for the topic there really is strength and hope in AA.


Member: John R.
Location: Alabama
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 9:01:00 AM

Comments

My name is John and I'm an alcoholic. Today I thank God for the horrible loneliness that consumed me the day before I made it to my first meeting. If it had not felt so terrible I may not have entered the house where my first A.A. experience awaited. Thank you for this opportunity to share. Stay sober, Stay cyber.


Member: AZbill
Location: On Vacation :)
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 10:40:41 AM

Comments

It is going to be very difficult to write about loneliness when I am here in Virginia Beach visiting my former wife, my hubby-in-law and six daughters for two weeks. I do this every year. This year is super special. One of my daughters renewed her marriage vows this past Saturday. I was asked (Actually ordered *S*) to walk her down the aisle along with her Step Dad. It wasn't always this way. After 33 years of drinking it took a long time to built a trust of friendship with those that knew me in the early days. But little by little it did happen. Within the first month my former boss asked me to come back to work when he found out I was sober. In those first months I was kept pretty busy working the Steps. Building a foundation. I sat my last drink down August 21. By Labor Day the same year, one of my early sponsors had me up on the South Platte River, teaching me how to fly fish. For the first year it was mostly the Fellowship. Then it was college. After graduation it was a whole new field of work. Then it was professional societies. I was back into the mainstream. I started building "normie" friendships. NO Paul, My lonliness did not start when I came into AA it Ended. I know today that I will never be alone again, unless I want to be. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: AZbill
Location: ON Vacation
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 10:59:11 AM

Comments

It will be very difficult to write about loneliness when I am here in Virginia Beach visiting my former wife, my hubby-in-law and my six daughters. I do this every year and have been for a long time. This year is super special. One of my girls is renewed her marriage vows this past Saturday and I was asked to walk her down the aisle along with her Step-Father. She wanted to honor me as her "real" father. It wasn't always this way. Thirty-three years of dinking alcoholically tends to separate one from society. I was a skid road drunk. I put my last drink down the 21st of August and by Labor Day that first year one of my sponsors had me up on the South Platte River teaching me to fly fish. Within tnat first month my former boss heard I had quit drinking and asked if I could come back to work. Just past my first year I entered college. There I had classmates. After graduation it was, Along with AA clubs and meetings, professional societies. I renewed military friendhips. NO Paul, AA did not start my loneliness, It ended it. I know today that I never need to be alone again unless I want to be. By the way there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely...Bill ---az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Gretchen T
Location: Illinois
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 11:25:45 AM

Comments

Hello All, I am Gretchen and an Alcoholic, drug addict. I've been in and out of these and other rooms for 6 years. I too find my biggest problem is what Bill W. called Emotional Sobriety. I've been alcohol and drug free for almost 9 years, but emotional drunkeness brought me to the 12 steps. There are lots of ways to escape besides alcohol--living in my head too much is one. I've heard that craving often comes when we are Hungry, Angry, LONELY or Tired. (HALT) to that I've added, Sick & Bored. The only answer I have for these situations is to GO TO A IRL Meeting. (In Real Life). My recovery began on-line and those members urged me to include f2f (face to face) meetings as part of my recovery. I finally did and saw some real changes in my life. After about a year-and-a-half sitting in meetings ( and keeping up with my online recovery), I finally started feeling connected and was able to start living outside my head. Somewhere along the line I made the choice to LIVE--being in my head was so much safer, but it wasn't living.


Member: Arlene MacI.
Location: Canada
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 12:20:37 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Arlene..and I`m an alcoholic...I`m trying to get back to my meetings and out of the insanity! I had my first meeting May of 82 and stayed sober many years...this is not the case anymore...I haven`t returned to my meetings yet...but I`m reading my Big Book and touching down with my AA friends again. I`ll be going to a meeting tomorrow. One thing I can say about the topic of loneliness ...that no one in AA has to feel loneliness...I am alone ..but I`m no longer lonely. My closest neighbour is a mile and a half away and my closest meeting is a LOT farther lol But HEY! Like they say...you go to any lengths to get it. I drove just as far for a bottle! I now have this wonderful means of communication..and would really like to have a conversation on line...is this possible in these rooms? I`ve learned many things in the rooms of AA. The big one....Happiness is an inside job! Thanks for being here. I needed this today ;o)


Member: AZbill
Location: On Vacation
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 2:22:35 PM

Comments

It will be very difficult to write about loneliness when I am here in Virginia Beach visiting my former wife, my hubby-in-law and my six daughters. I do this every year and have been for a long time. This year is super special. One of my girls is renewed her marriage vows this past Saturday and I was asked to walk her down the aisle along with her Step-Father. She wanted to honor me as her "real" father. It wasn't always this way. Thirty-three years of dinking alcoholically tends to separate one from society. I was a skid road drunk. I put my last drink down the 21st of August and by Labor Day that first year one of my sponsors had me up on the South Platte River teaching me to fly fish. Within tnat first month my former boss heard I had quit drinking and asked if I could come back to work. Just past my first year I entered college. There I had classmates. After graduation it was, Along with AA clubs and meetings, professional societies. I renewed military friendhips. NO Paul, AA did not start my loneliness, It ended it. I know today that I never need to be alone again unless I want to be. By the way there is a big difference between being alone and being lonely...Bill ---az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: xx
Location:
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 5:03:16 PM

Comments

xx


Member: Evin
Location: Boca Raton, FL (georgous here!)
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 5:11:33 PM

Comments

Evin, alcoholic. Any loniness I feel is nothing compared to the vast emptiness that existed in my final years of drinking. Sure I was surrounded by other drinkers but I was truly alone - I meant nothing to them nor they to me. The phone stopping ringing aweful quick once I told them I was done with booze! In AA I have real friendship and, Thank God, the companionship that I find in the rooms. I am never alone anymore unless I choose to be. My first year was tolerable because of the people I got to know, got to call and hang out with. A number are real friends now. You never have to be be alone anymore! Keep coming back.


Member: Tony D
Location: California
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 10:31:21 PM

Comments

Tony here, I'm an alcoholic. A sponsor once told me "when you feel like taking that first drink, sit down and make a list of things you can do instead of drink". Sometimes I apply this same practice to overcome any negative feeling or trouble (lonely, angry, tired, etc.) Making a meeting would probably be first on my list. That's not always possible for me right now, but I do have a phone and some numbers. This is my first time posting here. Just found out about this site. I think it's great. I enjoy hearing from all of you. All together, we are all alone.


Member: Geneva C
Location: Commiskey,In
Date: 8/5/2002
Time: 11:06:44 PM

Comments

Hi Geneva an alcoholic and this is a good topic but I have found if I'm not spiritually fit I am very lonely and we all have choices to make sobriety or to be drunk. I choose sobriety even if it's only for a few seconds and misery follows but I know if I hit my knees and go to my higher power he will help me make it through. Ann you need meetings and AA friends and you can drop me a line if you wish I am online once in a while and I check my e-mails but feel free to contact me I will listen. Grea105@cs.com. God bless you all.


Member: Bernie S.
Location: Woodside, Nova Scotia
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 1:42:40 AM

Comments

My name is Bernie and I am an alcoholic. When I was 6 weeks sober, I told my sponsor I was lonely. He laughed and told me to get a cat. I didn't see anything funny. But, he was just using newcomer language. He could have told me that "the primary fact I failed to recognize was my total inability to form a true partnership with another human being." He could have told me that I did not know how to be "one in a family, to be a friend among friends, a worker among workers, a useful member of society." He could have told me about my deep-lying emotional handicaps that might rise up under later pressures to cripple any relationship I might try to have in early sobriety. He could have told me about emotional distractions that might take my mind off the purpose of AA. Yeah, he could have told me all that and he probably did. And I probably did not listen, so he just told me to get a cat. Of course I didn't listen to that either. I didn't want a cat; I wanted something bigger. So, I searched for love in all the wrong places. I met a girl on the internet. She said I love you, so I did the only logical thing. I moved 5000 miles to be with her. No, it wasn't a geographical cure! You know, my sponsor said the same thing. I reassured him that I was powerless over alcohol no matter where I lived or who I was living with. This girl was the answer to my loneliness and I was going and that was that. What did he know anyway? Two days later I was on the train. The waiter went by with his little cart, I saw my favorite beer, a local brand, and the thought occurred to me that they probably didn't make that brand where I was going. I ought to have one to celebrate with. It only took me 3 weeks to drink it. When I did get back to AA, I took my sponsors advice. It is almost 5 years since I had a drink. I am re-married to a wonderful woman, I have my children and my grandchildren back in my life, I have watched a fellowship grow up around me, I have a host of friends. I even have a cat.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 3:01:52 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.The loneliness I felt at the very end was unlike any other than I have ever felt in my sobriety. The complete emptiness inside far surpassed any physical loneliness I can ever imagine. I was told to build a relationship with God, and I wouldn't have to ever be lonely again. I can say after almost 15years of continous sobriety that this is true.Faith without work doesn't work. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: xxx
Location:
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:01:35 AM

Comments

xxx


Member: xxx
Location:
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:01:42 AM

Comments

xxx


Member: Test
Location: Anywhere
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:05:14 AM

Comments

xxxx


Member: AZbill
Location: On Vacation
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:37:15 AM

Comments

HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I seem to be having a bit of trouble posting. This is a third attempt. Hope they all don't show up at once. :) It is a bit difficult to post about loneliness when I am here in Virginia Beach visiting my former wife, my hubby in law, and my six girls. Hard to feel lonely surounded by grand and great grand children and pets. Yep even the dogs and cats are friendly. I have been doing this for several years. But, it wasn't always this way. It took a bit of time to get back into the mainstream of life. Most of it was a direct result of the steps, particularly Four through Nine. Some of it started as soon as folks noticed my change. Sometimes those around us notice our change in outlook before we ourselves realize it. I wasn't sober a month when one of my former employers asked if I would come back to work. Then just after my first year, I went to college. Afterwards into a whole new field. My field of study. It all started at those early meetings. Add the fellow employees. Mix in some old classmates. Blend in former Shipmates from my Navy days. Cemented together with returning family members. And you have an awesome life. NO Paul, my loneliness did not start in Alcoholics Anonymous. It Ended....


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 11:27:35 AM

Comments

Great topic(s), I have not had to drink for several years now, but I still feel on the outside, because I have not been open about being a gay man. No one ever asked me, so I felt it was OK not to bring it up. Recently a man I sponsor asked and I lied. I went to my sponsor and we agreed it was time to come out to people. I made amends to my sponsee and told him the truth, he has not taken it so well. I have attended Gay and Lesbian meetings for awhile, but I found that recovery was not always the main topic. This morning I reside in FEAR (F* Everything And Run), but I donít ever want to drink again. I could will with all my power to change myself, but that has not happened, just as all my Self Will never got me sober. All I can do with confidence is ask God to show me his will for me today. Living fully in His grace, means I must be rigorously honest.


Member: Pam D.
Location: W. Anaheim, CA
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 11:56:43 AM

Comments

Hi - I'm Pam, alcoholic, and sober 17 years. Great topic. I looked for this meeting today specifically to deal with that horrible feeling of being lonely. I spent the weekend at a conference (work related) with some wonderful people, and did all the "right things" while there to connect with them. What I noticed about myself was that even though I was "putting myself out there" and interacting with people, I still felt lonely. My take on it is that there are a lot of areas in my life that are up in the air right now, and I'm wondering if I've made the right choices. I compared myself to them (my insides to their outsides) and came up feeling that these people seemed to be more goal focused than I've been lately (something that I value), and I felt "apart from" and different. And, I also realized that I was sharing more of myself and my hopes and dreams with the people I met at the conference than I have with my husband in several years. So my marriage feels "less than" -- but part of that is long term. From past experience -- The "package of answers" that I'm used to getting at meetings doesn't seem to fit well -- the feeling doesn't go away -- getting to more meetings and working with others doesn't take that unease with my life away, it only makes it survivable until enough time has passed that I am more comfortable in my life again. Meanwhile, I'm a little off balance and feeling lonely. Feeling lonely when I know I'm not alone isn't as bad as the early days of my sobriety when I really WAS alone. I'd like to hear what others have experienced in this arena, and whether my expectation that waiting for enough time to pass is sometimes all that can be done.


Member: AnnieM
Location: NY
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 12:33:25 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Anne & I'm an alcoholic. Lonely is very very hard for me. I am not an isolator. I am very much a people person; almost too much so; I need other people. When I was drinking, my husband and I drank together, so every weekend we sat around and yacked all night, sometimes with neighbors, sometimes not. Since I have stopped drinking, we don't sit around and talk. Things are very strained. To boot, I work from home, and altho I love the conveniences, I really miss the office comraderie. Most of my old buddies are drinkers, so I don't see them anymore. I haven't yet made friends at F2F meetings, and if I did, my husband would be opposed to socializing with them on weekends. So, as sad as this sounds, my 10-yr old daughter is my companion, and this site and others like it are my socialization for now.


Member: Elaine B.
Location: USA
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 12:41:03 PM

Comments

Hi. My name is Elaine. I have never posted before as I am a beginner. I know that even though I am surrounded by people who love me, I have been alone for many years now. But today I started a whole new lease on life. I have been sober for 24 hours now. I intend to come here often to read your heartwarming messages to help me get through the hardest times. I know I can do it.


Member: Ellen M
Location: Central Florida
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 1:36:02 PM

Comments

As a newly sober person, I am reading the words posted here, and realizing that alot of what I have read applies to me. I would get so "trapped" at home with feelings of loneliness, that I "thought" it would be solved by sitting in a bar. Usually, I just ended up just as lonely at the bar. Additionally, the alcohol just accentuated this feeling, and I ended up feeling worse than before I started drinking. I then felt guilty as well for having made the wrong choice (once again) over and over again. In the future, I am going to try another route to cure the "trapped" feelings and be more honest with myself that my behavior is destructive. I will try to put my energy towards something more positive and pray to my greater power for guidance.


Member: John B
Location: Louisville, KY
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 2:46:29 PM

Comments

Hi, John alcoholic. Lonliness and alcoholism seem to go together. That feeling of being different, better than or worse than dominated my life before AA and I still struggle with it today. When drinking, the last two and a half years I drank alone most of the time. I withdrew from life. I pulled the shades on my windows, wouldn't answer the door or the phone, and often kept the lights dimmed. I went out for booze and "other necessities." In retrospect, I was dying of lonliness as much as alcoholism. I love AA because I never have to be alone again. There are AA meetings wherever I am and I attend at least one meeting a day and have for over 13 years now. The meetings help me feel OK, safe and among people who genuinely care and understand. That has been so vitally important for this alcoholic. God bless.


Member: John B
Location: Louisville, KY
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 2:46:51 PM

Comments

Hi, John alcoholic. Lonliness and alcoholism seem to go together. That feeling of being different, better than or worse than dominated my life before AA and I still struggle with it today. When drinking, the last two and a half years I drank alone most of the time. I withdrew from life. I pulled the shades on my windows, wouldn't answer the door or the phone, and often kept the lights dimmed. I went out for booze and "other necessities." In retrospect, I was dying of lonliness as much as alcoholism. I love AA because I never have to be alone again. There are AA meetings wherever I am and I attend at least one meeting a day and have for over 13 years now. The meetings help me feel OK, safe and among people who genuinely care and understand. That has been so vitally important for this alcoholic. God bless.


Member: greg N
Location: MI
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 3:51:53 PM

Comments

You know, when I look at the extreme loneliness that I had when I was drinking and compare it to the infrequent bouts of loneliness that I experience now resulting from distancing myself from negative behaviors, I'll take my sobriety any day...it's better to miss bad inflences that to reacquaint yourself with them!


Member: gORDON M.
Location: RENFREWSHIRE, SCOTLAND.
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 5:35:12 PM

Comments

Hi all, my name is gordon & I;m an alcoholic, LONLINESS& SELF HONESTY, GREAT TOPICS thanks paul& tom, I remember 20yrs ago when I was bouncing in & out of the fellowship, I WAS HOMELESS &WALKING THE STREETS, WHEN i first came through the doors of A.A, 3months down the line was critisizing everything & everyone, and thought that A.A was doing nothing for me, when one of my group members came up to me and asked, how are you/ I said[as usual] I;m fine, then he said, have you got somewhere to stay now?[it just so happens I had booked myself into a mens hostel] so I said yes, then he asked, have you had anything to eat today? I said yes, then he said "I hear your jingling a few bob in your pocket!" I said yes" WHAT ARE YOU GETTING AT?" AND HE SAID YEEES THERES ONLY ONE THING WRONG WITH YOU, i SAID WHATS THAT HE SAID YOUR AN UNGRATEFUL b*****D. IN OTHER WORDS HE WAS TELLING FOR SMALL MERCIES A SHORT WHILE BEFORE I had nothing, now I had all that AND I STILL WASN;T HAPPY, TAUGHT ME TO PRACTICE GRATITUDE since then I;ve acquired riches beyond my wildest dreams, although I;ve had heart bypass surgery,I;ve been married & divorced, I;ve homeless in sobriety, and I now have my own home,& Idrive my own car, I am blessed with the love of a lovely woman AND my daughter who was out of my life for 27yrs is very much in my life again, not only that she has presented me with a beautiful grandaughter, all that and all my wonderful friends i A.A on top of that HEY! what more could a body ask for, so I think I;ll just keep on practicing GRATITUDE, cos I;M NO LONGER ALONE. thak you all for allowing me the privelage of sharing with you KEEP COMING BACK!!


Member: Cori H.
Location: The Colony, Texas
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 6:47:43 PM

Comments

I'm Cori and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober 12 years last month and am glad to find a meeting I can get to. I am new to the site. I am homebound with kids pretty much right now. The husband is working days at a regular job and at night he is getting our old house ready to rent. We just moved to a new area and I have no way to get to meetings right now. I was looking for alternatives to the lonliness for adult interaction and here you are! What a wonderful gift we share to be here and help each other find the beauty in life.


Member: Carol O.
Location: Georgia
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 7:18:45 PM

Comments

Please read the Big Book regularly. "Loneliness will vanish.......". The first few years were a time to build a strong foundation on which to build the rest of my life. I went to two meetings every day, talk with another alcoholic every day, prayed every day and gradually began to incorporate all the principles into my day, one day at a time. Do not be discouraged...just don't drink and go to meetings. Good luck


Member: Eddie A.
Location: Silicon Valley, CA
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 8:04:18 PM

Comments

My name is Eddie, and I am an alcoholic. Loneliness and self honesty. I have been saved many times in my sobriety of 15 yrs 10 mos,by remember the word H.A.L.T. My grand-sponsor advised me to never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired. So, when any one of these feelings arise, I simply HALT! I call another alkie, eat something, get more rest, and above all keep my spiritual contact with my HP (God). Loneliness is a killer for us. Self-honesty is not lying to yourself about the loneliness. Reach out, find a drunk, and try to carry this message, has worked for me everytime I make the decision to do the foot work. Thanks for letting me share


Member: xx
Location:
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 8:26:40 PM

Comments

xx


Member: xx
Location:
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 8:27:32 PM

Comments

xx


Member: Patti H
Location: Man.,Can
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 8:31:36 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Patti and I'm an alcoholic. I am recently seperated from my husband who I lived and worked with every minute of every day for four years. For the first time in my life, being alone is a gift and not an enemy. I must admit it is unbelievably lonely at times, but the peace is wonderful, and I have felt my connection to my Higher Power has been very strong. We all have the tendency to live inside our own heads too much, doing the "what if" dance, but being open to the messages that God sends through others can help releive that. It is like he touches me on the shoulder and asks me to pay attention. Thanks for listening.


Member: tech
Location: earth
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:31:34 PM

Comments

test


Member: tech
Location: mars
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 10:33:18 PM

Comments

test


Member: xx
Location:
Date: 8/6/2002
Time: 11:15:35 PM

Comments

A wise person is never less alone than when he is by himself


Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 10:42:33 AM

Comments

My name is Joe, and I'm an alcoholic. I don't really know that much loneliness anymore. Any time I want I can call my sponsor or another AA member, or head out to an AA meeting. If anything, I now struggle to find time when I am not connecting with other people. For even when I am alone today, I can spend time with my Higher Power. And all this is a gift received as the result of working the twelve steps. Donít drink and go to meetings. Joe joep041699@mindspring.com


Member: Mark
Location:
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 11:16:00 AM

Comments

A wise person is never less alone than when they are by themselves


Member: David H
Location: NAshville
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 11:47:20 AM

Comments

I like most experienced lonliness that first year. Thought life was over. I made new friends within and out of the fellowship. Ive been sober now for 3 1/2 years. I am married to the most wonderfull woman. Now its sometimes difficult to find a place to be alone for my quite times with God. Its amazing how things change one day at a time


Member: interland
Location: interland
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 3:28:52 PM

Comments

xxxx


Member: interland
Location: interland
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 3:49:50 PM

Comments

xxxx


Member: interland
Location: interland
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 3:51:55 PM

Comments

test


Member: interland
Location: interland
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 3:52:06 PM

Comments

test2


Member: interland
Location: interland
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 4:03:45 PM

Comments

test3


Member: Tami H
Location: WA State
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 4:04:15 PM

Comments

Tami, drug of choice: alcohol. I suppose I do feel lonely when it comes to finding a sponsor. Geneva, what is "spiritually fit"? I don't think I will ever feel like others do, no, I won't ever be spiritually fit as some know it, I can't even feel physically fit, but I can do my best, every day to stay alcohol free. I feel like I am always "just trying to maintain" maybe I need to "keep it simple" too huh? My Temporary sponsor told me, "You really only need to do a couple of things when you wake in the morning, make the bed and stay sober. If your day seems to throw too much at you, don't make the bed." If feeling lonely is part of my day, I will ask for help. If that means talking to myself that's what I'll do! Even if it means talking to my dog or cat. I can't imagine how others feel, but I can tell you how I have experienced "extreme loneliness". I have been "alone" in many ways since I was very small. My alcoholic mother gave me and my tree siblings up for her addiction. I was separated from the younger two at a very early age. And raised by my adoptive Grandmother. I always felt alone, and tried to tell myself it didn't matter because I had me. I only trusted myself and if that was all I had I was still doing ok, because it seemed it was always me against everything else. I am luck to have kept my head most of the time, but unlucky to have found my best friend and medication "alcohol". It was always there for me, to cover up any pain I may be experiencing, physical or mental. But, it lied to me too. It wasn't my true friend; it caused me to cover things up and put things on hold and endanger myself and my family. Alcohol wasn't looking out for my best interest. At one point it caused me to nearly loose my life. Now, I have a chance to live my life, and yet I feel things are on hold because of treatment and AA. Not that either is bad or unhelpful, just not what I want to continue to focus on. So what do I do next? I know what to do... And maybe tomorrow, I'll make the bed. Write me if you want~~tammibob@msn.com


Member: dgvfgn
Location:
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 4:16:21 PM

Comments

think


Member: Dawn L
Location: Sacramento
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 6:38:24 PM

Comments

Lonliness is why I started drinking. I have isolated myself within these walls and can't seem to get out into the world. I have a meeting book and I say I will go everyday and it doesn't happen. I pray that I will be able to make that first step. I feel so stuck. Thanks for the topic and some good suggestions. dawn@marcoldan.com


Member: Tech
Location:
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 7:42:24 PM

Comments

We apologize for the inconvenience, we're up and working again


Member: Wendy B.
Location: Macon
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 8:14:16 PM

Comments

I have just come out of rehab, am relocating. This in itself are very overwhelming. I couldn't find a meeting close by tonight, so this is my first cyber meeting.


Member: Wendy B.
Location: Macon, GA
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 8:23:05 PM

Comments

I can relate to loneliness. I have relocated to Macon, Georgia from Atlanta after getting out of rehab 3 days ago. I don't know anyone here but family, and could not get motivated to go to a meeting tonight. I feel awful...I went the last three nights, but tonight, I'm trying Cyber.


Member: Bob F
Location: Cumbria -England
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 8:45:57 PM

Comments

I once heard Alcoholism described as "The Lonely Illness".When I came into AA,I was assured by the people and also the slogan,"You are no longer alone".Alas because of my destructive feelings of bitterness ,criticism,etc., I still for a long time never really experienced the true meaning of "Fellowship".My real problem was that I either liked you or disliked you straight away,and I had little or no tolerance for most people,either within or outside AA.This made me feel lonely and isolated.Over the years the pain of this became so accute that I begged God to help me to stop being so critical and so quick to see the worst of people before I could see the good in them. I had been off drink for many years at this time and in my own way I was doing my best to change,but I knew that even the people I worked with only tolerated me as I was still such a "difficlt person" to get on with.I even preferred to work on my own as I still criticised most of my colleagues.It was a very lonely time. How it began to change for me was quite simple really.I had to begin to share exactly how my life outside AA really was,especially at my work.One day at work as I was seething at this guy who I did,nt like the thought came to me that he had never treated his family ,or wife in the same terrible manner that I had treated mine during my drinking years.I immediatily had more respect for that man and actually began to enjoy working with him.At last I was beginning to live and let live.I began to apply the same attitude in the Rooms and basically with all people I meet.I've a long way to go but I do.nt feel near as lonely or isolated as I used to feel .I,ve also found to "make friends",I have first to show a spirit of friendship.


Member: Doug K
Location: The muggy, yet sunny, shores of W. Mich.
Date: 8/7/2002
Time: 11:52:03 PM

Comments

Hi everybody, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. I'm not sure what we are really talking about here...is it lonliness or wanting a non-platonic relationship? So many times I can mask things with a different choice of words. If it's lonliness, then it's my own fault for feeling it. I have a fellowship of friends to associate with, a few "normie" friends (who I rarely visit), a smattering of family, there is more to do than I could possibly do..ie Big Brothers, church functions (if I were a church kinda guy) etc. It's not that I can't find ways to have fun or be useful, it's that I don't try. If we are talking about a non-platonic relationship then it's an entirely different topic...and a very dangerous one unless my sobriety is very solid. My home group is suffering seriously right now from people who were "lonely" and made terrible choices for themselves....dragging others into the fray with them. The amount of time is different for each of us, but until my sobriety is solid, until I'm working a decent spiritual program, practicing acceptance, trusting my HP, etc on a daily basis....I've got no reasons to be searching for a relationship. Being horny isn't terminal....getting drunk might be. Putting other peoples recovery on the line is unconscionable!


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 8/8/2002
Time: 1:50:39 AM

Comments

Greetings! My name is Michael, and I am an alcoholic, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers! Excellent topic, Paul. I think everyone has bouts with loneliness at times, but it is especially difficult when we first become sober. For me, being active in the AA program and staying in touch with other AAs helped with the loneliness, but sometimes the loneliness is just inescapable. The short AA text "Living Sober" offers some excellent suggestions during these times.


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 8/8/2002
Time: 10:24:11 AM

Comments

I am anil I am alcoholic to me Honesty is the first and most common hardest chracter defect in me. I fight it practice it, watch out my steps make amends whenever I can and ask forgiveness from GOD to give me stregth and courage to fight it and practice it I am at peace within my self. thanks to aa


Member: Mark H
Location: New York, NY
Date: 8/8/2002
Time: 12:34:21 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Mark and I'm an alcoholic. Thank you to Paul and Tom for two great topics. For me, honesty and loneliness are related. I'm currently working the 4th step. The honesty required has made me see how I've fallen short in so many of my relationships - turning to alcohol when I could have been working through problems that would have strengthened the relationship. I've used alcohol as a cruch to avoid dealing with marital problems especially. 4th step work has really opened my eyes to that! Now I see how really distant I am from my wife. And I am feeling very lonely (and quite guilty). This is very difficult. I guess that is why I need to take it "one day at a time".


Member: ANGIE B.
Location: CHICOTA,TX
Date: 8/8/2002
Time: 4:27:31 PM

Comments

HI FROM CHICOTA,TX SOBERITY DATE 8-1-02 I LOVED WHAT BOB F. FROM CUMBRIA,ENGLAND SAID ABOUT THE BARROOM/AA MEETING DEAL. I GOT IT. THATS WHY IM STARTING OVER AFTER 8 YEARS OF PITIFUL ,INCOMPREHENSIBLE, DEMORLIZATION.I MADE A CHOICE TO BE LONELY THE DAY I LEFT MY GROUP AFTER OVER 4 YEARS OF CONTINIOUS SOBERIYT. MY BAD!!!!!!!


Member: Dean F
Location: Illinois
Date: 8/9/2002
Time: 2:52:33 PM

Comments

My name is Dean and I am an alcoholic. I am sober today by the grace of God. I have been a recovery alcoholic for quite a while, but more important I am sober today. I have stugged with the honesty and I fight it every day. I just can not seem to get it working for me all of the time. My spiritual relationship must improve, and I work on that every day. Also, my loneliness sure gets better when I talk to other AA members and go to meetings. I would like to ask about the promises, when does the money situation improve. Sure has been tough for me. Thanks for listening.


Member: AndyM
Location: W.Pa
Date: 8/9/2002
Time: 3:29:45 PM

Comments

I was very fortunate when I first came into the rooms of AA.The people there took me by the hand and more or less guided me through the early stages of recovery, this involved going to coffee with them after the meetings and a whole lot of listening on my end, it was common for us to sit and discuss AA till 2or3 a.m. during the first 30 days, I learned a lot about the program and the people I associated with at those meetings.They then let me struggle but never fall during the next 3 mths.it was then suggested to me that I should involve myself with the meetings, cleaning up , making coffee etc etc.I was selected to chair a meeting after 90 days and eventually became secy of my home group, that opened a lot of doors for me to meet even more people in the program, I was very lucky to avoid the loneliness, I knew that I had friends that I could count on in the program of AA.I have been involved now for 3 years and the only suggestion I would make to newcomers is get involved with the groups, sure worked out well for me.


Member: Anonymous Lady
Location: Cyberspace
Date: 8/9/2002
Time: 4:54:07 PM

Comments

I have been sober over 15 years. In many, many areas my life has improved immensely in sobriety. However, Iíve hit a problem that I can't figure out. So I'm bringing it here, because I can't talk about it in f2f mtgs, my sponsor died, and I see that it's something that's getting very slippery for me. I married (at 7 years) someone I thought was a normie. Our styles are very different. I am assertive, through working the steps and learning from others in the program. He is very passive and waits for things to happen. He is a good Dad to our daughter and does more around the house than any man I have ever met. But, he feels attacked whenever I talk to him (my side of the street - yep, I've lost my temper sometimes. But most of the time he says "yes" to anything and then later doesn't follow through and feels attacked when I call him on it.). Partly because he feels so threatened by me, we haven't been close (in any way) for the majority of our marriage. I havenít even gotten a hug. Weíve goon to counseling but havenít gotten anywhere. So, Iíve gotten VERY busy (first school and now work) to avoid dealing with him and to keep things going for my daughter. But I feel less and less like I matter in the world. Iíve put on weight and donít have the energy to do much anymore. I share at meetings about other things, but this is too embarrassing. Recently, I was at a business conference where a group of us went out to dinner several nights in a row. We went dancing on the final night and I found myself attracted to one of the brightest men there. Nothing happened (and heís not aware of the attraction), but I realized that I am horribly lonely and that I either need to FIX this or move on. I donít make enough to support my daughter and Iím scared. I really am tempted to go find someone new. Iím also tempted to go out -- after all, I used to be attractive when I drankÖsince Iíve been sober, Iím not attractiveÖcunning baffling powerfulÖ Please share your experience, strength and hope (but not your untried advice). Or, ask your HP to wake mine up Ė I havenít gotten a response to my prayers.


Member: Tracy T.
Location: Euless, Texas
Date: 8/10/2002
Time: 1:23:01 AM

Comments

Great topics! I have 4 yrs sober and I remember feeling very much alone at times. Looking back, with the fellowship & a good sponsor I couldn't figure out why. In a strange way it may have been grief over "losing" my best friend-booze! I didn't know what to do with myself when I wasn't at a meeting. My self- worth and confidence were low and the ground was still shaking. It took some practice to get a routine going. I went to work, a meeting, stayed after and emptied ashtrays or wiped tables, came home, ate, read my book {s} prayed, and went to bed. I needed some form of discipline. I had to take the actions my sponsor told me to do (gratitide list-I hated that) but talking about being alone with her helped. Hope you all have many NON lonley days ahead- the man upstairs is always with us.


Member: Ron
Location:
Date: 8/10/2002
Time: 6:30:29 AM

Comments

What a great subject, Paul you are in touch with your feelings and surroundings at a level much higher than I had upon my arrival to the program. As selfesh as I was, I was only concerned with what made me feel good instantaneously, booze done that and I knew it was killing me. Being a single male, I looked for female companionship I knew what was killing me. I thought money would be the answer,a big car, materialism was killing me. Yeah I went to lots of meetings stayed for coffee after, but always had to return to that empty loneliness with me myself and I. In the end I contemplated killing myself,It wasen't till I emerged from that quagmire, that found peace. The only way that I could free myself was to forget about poor little ole me and start helping and be concerned about others.And what a cruel joke it all turned out to be.Today I enjoy my times of solitude.All the pain that I put myself through in those early years have made me a stronger person. I end by say what worked in the beginning still works today...sponcership, meetings, big book, steps. and a concern for others that sets me FREE


Member: CHris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 8/10/2002
Time: 10:59:04 AM

Comments

I'm Chris --I'm an alcoholic/addict/ bulimic...These are both great topics--lonliness and self honesty...I have always felt lonely and that was one of the reasons I usede and had so much depression...I can identify with the anonymous gal who shared about the lonliness she feels in her marriage and I applaud her for talking about it here. The only thing I can say to her is that I too have experienced similar things in my marriage which only made me feel more lonely, but I chose to hang in there and things are better now. WHat I did learn was that My HIgher Power who I choose to call God is ALWAYS there for me, and I am learning to go to Him for my sustance and strength. I guess that is one of the things I have learned in the program ---that we can ONLY get our real needs met through the healing power of GOd. HE obviously has given us the A.A, program to solve a lot of our problems and it is my personal challenge to remain committed to to working that program... Thank heavens HE has given me a very willing sponsor who is eager to talk at any time I need her. That has really helped my lonliness. I have not been to enough meetings lately , but I have been to a lot more thatn in the past. That soooo much helps my lonliness. I encourage you to find a woman'sw meeting so you can be really honest there.


Member: * s
Location: Canada
Date: 8/10/2002
Time: 12:58:48 PM

Comments

*, an alcholic. Had to scroll right down and comment after I read Ann's stuff. Struck a chord in me. It's all very well to be told to go to meetings, to be a part of the group, to do service work, phone people, get a sponsor, and so on and so forth. It's easier for some than for others. I too tend to push people away, or run, when they get too close, damned if I know why. The funny thing is I don't want to be lonely, I want to have friends, I just get this anxious kind of feeling when people get too close. Two years for me, and no sponsor, no close friends in my group. One person I email sometimes. No close friends, inside or outside AA, except my wife, and that's living pretty dangerously the way my marriage has been. Why? Dunno. I'm a pleasant enough guy, I talk to people quite successfully on difficult subjects all day at work, there are really very few people I can't get along with, I'm well educated, a good parent. . . but my inability to connect with others, feel somehow safe with them, makes me feel something's wrong with me. All I can think of to do is turn it over, let my higher power look after the problem, and try to build and rely on that relationship as much as possible. I heard you, Ann, and I understand. Thanks for listening.


Member: debbie
Location: south dakota, usa
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 12:37:21 AM

Comments

my name is debbie and i'm an alcoholic. this is my fourth or so attempt to get sober. loneliness has halted my sobriety in the past. also, it is going to require me to be true to myself and honest with myself to stay sober. i end up drinking again when i somehow convince myself that i can handle it. it has been 12 hours sober thus far--so far so good ;) i hope that god can guide me to sobriety, cuz i sure can't find it myself--been there done that ;) i am glad everyone is here, thanks . . .


Member: JimB
Location: RMI
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 2:58:17 AM

Comments

Hi all JimB here happy to know Im alcoholic and grateful to be sober today. Thanks for all of the candid and well thought out shares on this subject. I often feel totally isolated in my life as well even though I too deal well with people all day long. I sometimes think that if it weren't for my spiritual connection I would be dead meat since I seem to be beneath contempt by the world at large. I live and work in a very small community and only 2-3 people are in recovery the rest are so called normies and I find it quite difficult to interact with them for the most part. Every occasion is cause for a party and I dont fit in at all since I dont drink but if I dont attend the party then I am attacked as a person for being anti social or somehow less than human. I cant win since the parties are a real drag after about 5 minutes. The saying on Dr Bobs desk about humility is a great help to me at times like these. Here it is: Humility "Perpetual quietness of heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. "It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, and when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and pray to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble. " Thanks for 12 steppin me! :-)


Member: Jason L.
Location: SF
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 3:12:15 AM

Comments

My name is Jason and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here. In ten days I will be sober 10 years. My sobriety means more to me today than it ever did. The last meeting that I attended was three years ago today. When I got home from that meeting my phone rang and I was told that my best friend had killed herself. Intentional overdose. I saw it coming but not the pain. I miss her. I miss her so much. I don't really know why I haven't been to a meeting since then. My life has been full and wonderful. I have a beautiful and smart and funny wife. I have a two and a half year old boy. He is miraculous. I have a great job even though I am not qualified to have it or even to really do it well. I have spent the last three years living this life. Loving this life, and not really worried about meetings. My close friendships form a supportive network. We are there for each other. I am in touch with my sponsor and he says "go to meetings" but I just haven't. Well, today my wife realized that she was having a miscarriage. We went to the hospital and they showed us on a tv screen the still beating heart of an 8 week old fetus inside her but they told us it would not survive. They said that it was spontaneously aborting. They said it was a normal thing. 1 in 3 pregnancies do this. My wife is in pain and heartbroken. I am heartbroken. My supportive network of friends are not enough for me today. Why is this happening on the anniversary of another of my life's great losses? I would go to a meeting right now if I could. This is the best I can do. It feels good, well, necessary to have to write this. It's not "pen to paper" but it's close. I am glad that you don't have to wait for me to stop crying every 90 seconds as you read this. It has taken me an hour or so to get this far. Thanks for being here.


Member: GT
Location:
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 5:31:34 AM

Comments

Jason, God bless you.


Member: Tom
Location: deep south
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 5:58:29 AM

Comments

Jason: so sorry for your loss, God bless you and your family.


Member: Jeremy M
Location: Port st lucie Fl
Date: 8/11/2002
Time: 8:10:23 AM

Comments

Hello Im Jeremy I am a alcoholic hey debbie join the club there is help there we just need to find the "enough is enough point" but it seems as well as you i cant find it either it just keeps going ang going.Maybe im a fool maybe im not but i will tell you ths i think i am . I dont get it my family gave up on me , rhey came to me and said we found a place to help you and it did for awhile.I went to hazelden.If you dont know what it is look at your 24 hour book they wrote it. But here i am drunk as always somebody help im back in florida I cant find any fellowship here i shit you not! HELP HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!