Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location:
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 1:21:04 AM
Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) I truly love my AA brothers and sisters here at this site, to those who are new to AA or this site a heartfelt *welcome home*, to those who share their hearts here on a reg basis, thank you from the bottom of mine.
Looks like I'm the first one here unless someone else is posting at the same time - if so take your pick of topics. Anyway, I would like to hear about the GIFTS OF THE PROGRAM - what blessings and treasures have you found in sobriety? What has God and AA done in your life that eluded you prior to this program? I'll share later on this wk. Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon --- bonzoc@webtv.net
Member: Donna B
Location:
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 4:33:41 AM
Hello Back at you Bonnie...I appreciated your heartfelt welcome and will look forward to more words of encouragement!
Member: Terry P
Location: Alabama
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 5:36:35 AM
Been in and out of AA for 22 years had 2 years sober July 7 this year. I smoked a joint the other day been smoking it ever since-have not drinked yet-keep telling myself-it is ok as long as I don't drink-I am finding myself now thinking well maybe I can handle one drink-then I realize how insane. don't wanta smoke pot anymore-takes away my spirituality-I have not picked up my 2yr chip because I feel like I have relapased-my home group is total abstense-from anything mood altering-I am worried about myself-I do not want to go back where I came from with alcohol. Help me anyone.............
Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 7:03:43 AM
Good Morning! Carol Alcoholic. The gifts I have received in sobriety....Great topic Bonnie!
My greatist gift other than having almost all the promises coming true, is having a sober baby! I never in my wildest dreams thought God would give me a child in sobriety and a daughtor too! My sons were born during my addiction. Today she is 3 years old and the gift is being able to experience motherhood all over again without having an addiction take away from the wonders of it all.
Plus when I have problems come into my life I am so aware of the intuitive sence that directs me on how to solve or sometimes just accept them.
To Terry - I used to justify smoking pot and you're right. It is just another way of altering your mood. Please let your home group know you've relasped. I'm sure you will be welcomed with open arms and many offers of help. Don't wait long cause all the craving will come back.
Have a great week Everyone!
Member: Dave M.
Location: Willits, Ca.
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 8:06:46 AM
Hello Dave M.here thanks for the topic today the gift is its monday at 5am and no hangover, I still have a job,a home,a loveing partner,and my family will talk to me, Thanks to the program and aloveing H.P. I survived
Member: Sonia B
Location: grimsby
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 8:11:21 AM
i am on day six of sobriety, i hope to never have to go back to day one. .the other day i could pick up my daughter from my sisters and drive there. i would of norammally been drunk by that point. My daughter needed me and i could be there. That is a gift to me. i am new to the site, and welcome the opportunity to share. keep the faith.
Sonia
Member: Sheri F
Location: Beautiful warm Portland, OR
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 9:01:59 AM
Fantastic topic. What besides life could anyone want. I received the love and respect from my son, my daughter returned, clean and sober, my granddaughter sobered and blessed me with 2 BEAUTIFUL GREAT grandchildren. I married the man I fell in love with 30 years ago.Aquired 4 great step daughters and 2 cgrandchildren. Mother left me her home when she died,soI have a roof over my head. My God took my health to get my attention, for it works EVERY time. My car became terminally ill soI can use the internet for AA . Happiness that I could NEVER dream possible in my wildest fantasy drunk and stoned. Even a brand new computor that I can work parts of it. And a new puppy, 4 & 1/2 weeks old, to bottle feed, potty train to the litter box and keep me active. My God and AA have given me LIFE. A big THANKS TO BOTH.. and to the friends here that care enough toi give me that kick in the butt when I need it. AA gave me REAL friends. Sorry I am so long winded, must be"old age" ha ha I love you ALL and MY God loves you too. Sheri
Member: Shannon S.
Location: Southern Cal.
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 11:57:33 AM
Shannon S., alcoholic here. Gifts of Sobriety 1. A real relationship with ny higher power. 2. A real relationship with my children. 3. A real relationship with my partner. 4. Freedom from fear, guilt and remorse. 5. Hope for today and the future. 6. A place in the fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous 7. a true sense of peace and contentment. 8. Waking up happy, joyous and free. I could go on indefinitly. Best wishes to all for a lifetime of sobriety.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 12:30:43 PM
the biggest blessing i feel that has happened to me since being part of the fellowship is..i'm no longer a slave to alcohol,booze ruled my life and my beavior in the past,i couldn't say no to it.i tried and tried (on my own) and i was either getting drunk,working off a hangover or just waiting for it to happen again.today i love life because i am sober,i can see myself and others grow today,booze is not part of the equation ,love and understanding has replaced it.to me this is a blessing from above which i do treasure.every one who wants this can have this ,but you already know that.....thanks bonnie,good topic,should make for a fun week!!!! i'm tony i'm an alcoholic
Member: moses
Location: zion prophets
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 1:24:12 PM
terry p. that pot will just cloud your mind and make you stupid.and yes it will take you right back down to the bottom,or the bottom of the bottle.stick with cigerettes, and coffee as they take a little longer to kill you,and by that time who cares anyway.
moses
Member: Craig L
Location: Portland, OR
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 1:30:41 PM
I’m Craig and I’m a grateful alcoholic. Without even starting to work the steps the gifts of sobriety were evident. A full night sleep for the first time in decades and waking up refreshed is an amazing gift. While I was using, I had degenerated into a mean hateful person. If I could see you I resented something about you. I hated everyone, mostly myself. The fourth and fifth steps helped me to see, the insanity in ALL of my thinking and behaviors. After doing my first fifth step, I became physically different. My guts, no longer churn with all the “shoulds” and “if onlys”. I awoke from a black and white nightmare into living color. Through the program of AA, I discovered a really nice person in myself. I have true friends who care about me. The best gift of all I care about others and particularly anyone who is struggling to live with the gift of addiction.
Member: jack b
Location: texas
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 1:55:30 PM
hello all, my name is jack. i came to aa because of the criminal justice system. i didn't think i had a drinking problem, but they did. because of a dwi, they required me to attend 52 meetings and i have been to 32 so far. although i have abstained because of the trouble with the law, i have learned that i do not need alcohol to live my life. i see others under the influence and recognize what it was doing to me. i am fortunate that i didn't ruin anyone else life with my drinking. the steps are not difficult because i do not crave the stuff. i hardly give it a second thought anymore. the gift aa has given me is that i see a lot of people who have a lot harder time than me giving up the stuff, and i would like to help.
Member: raidy m.
Location: a much better place
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 2:01:56 PM
A drug is a drug is a drug.......
Member: jack b
Location: texas
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 2:16:21 PM
terry p, i bought some tomato and pepper plants in the spring. i found out the first few days i had them that if you don't water them they will die. i also tried to boost them with some fertilizer and realized by their reaction that they didn't like that either. by trial and error, i have found the right combination of care on my part that produces the best results from the plants. equate your life and relationships to the plants. they are telling you through trial and error what to do. you just have to listen and act accordingly. the fruits of your labor will be rewarding. i know because i'm eating some pretty good salsa right now.
Member: Ken D.
Location: NE Texas
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 3:42:55 PM
Hi. I'm Ken D and just happened to stumble across this site. I'm 5,485 days sober, do the math and you'll see that's July 25, 1985 (but who's counting, right). Anyway, my greatest gift from this program is the "possibility" of tackleing life's day-to-day issues. Without soberity I have no shot! A dear friend of mine, with 14 years, slipped recently and it reminded me NOT to be so cocky about my 15 years. Weither it be 15 years or 15 days or 15 hours, all we have is today. Thanks for listening (??)
Member: Lisa P.
Location: Chicago
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 4:31:59 PM
Hi my name is Lisa and I am an alcoholic and drug addict. Hey Terry P.... I too have just relapsed from smoking pot. I had two years on February 4th and have been smoking pot since the middle of May, and today, July 31st is back to day 1. I called some people, which I have never done. I have been in and out of the program and this was my longest clean time. But I do not have a sponsor, I don't go to meetings but maybe once a month, and I don't call people. I just graduated from college and have come so far and I am scared to go back because the cravings for everything else are coming back. I have a CPA review class tonight, but I am skipping it to go to a meeting. I think I have given up trying to do it my way and on my own. It's OK to ask for help I guess, although it is still so hard for me...
Member: CathyB
Location: Kansas City
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 4:36:25 PM
We are conducting a research survey concerning women's experiences in AA. Do you have any women who might be able to respond to a brief survey? If so, please contact carpolita@aol.com or bogartcj@mail.avila.edu. Thank you very much.
Member: REEFER V.
Location: HUMBOLT CTY.
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 7:40:18 PM
TERRI AND LISA,ILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH MOSES AND RAIDY.THE GRIM REAPER COMES IN ALL FORMS.SOME- TIMES ITS A CAN,SOMETIMES A POWDER,A BOTTLE,OR EVEN A DEADLY NOXIOUS WEED,YES THE DEADLIEST, ONE OF THEM ALL.....CANNABIS.IT WILL SLOWLY DRAIN YOUR BRAIN,ALL YOU WILL HAVE LEFT IS ONE CELL ASKING THE OTHER HALF CELL,"HEY WHERE DID EVERYONE GO?"BY THIS TIME IT WILL BE TO LATE TO REALIZE WHERE YOU ARE AND WHERE YOU CAME FROM AND WHERE YOUR GOING TO LATER.....SEE WHAT I MEAN????!!!!AND I STILL CANT REMEMBER WHERE I PARKED MY CAR 20 YEARS AGO OR IF I EVN HAD ONE, I CANT REMEMBER. REEFER V.
Member: Jeannette R.
Location: Louisiana
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 7:42:27 PM
Jeannette, grateful recovering alcoholic, the gifts I have received from sobriety are endless. All the promises the big book talk about have come true. Not only that, my sobriety with the peace and serenity that i have never known before in my life has got to be one of the greatest gifts my HP will ever give me. Terry, it is very important for me to remember that alcohol is only a symptom of my disease, I can replace alcohol with any mood altering chemical and I am back in my disease, the same as if I took a drink, learned that the hard way.
Member: frankie S
Location: richmond virginia
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 8:36:14 PM
hey i am one day sober. i have had a peaceful day and haven't seen too much trouble. got drunk the other night and got in a fight at the bar. i am tired of the lie alcohol is telling me all the time. that in order to be cool you have to have a beer in your hand and be out having a good time in some bar. ha what good time. hangovers and no money in the morning and alot of fake friends. no blessings in the bars gonna give AA my full attention now and hope for some blessings......... Frankie S
Member: John F.
Location: Central Illinois
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 9:27:34 PM
Hi everyone, my name is John, alcoholic, gratitude is a great subject. I am most grateful for the strength my HP has given me. I never thought I could help anyone, pretty arrogant, huh? But he has placed people in my path and given me direction, shown me time and time again that my experience, strength and hope can be vital to other recovering people. I am reminded of the promises, "we will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us". That has come true for me. In good times as well as bad my HP always has shown me how to handle them, if I'm willing to listen. That, in itself, is a miracle.
Member: Jeanne D.
Location: MA
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 9:53:15 PM
Hi. My name is Jeanne and I am an alcoholic. I have never participated in an on-line meeting. As an alcoholic, I love to isolate. If I do not have real face to face contact with other human beings I can easily lapse into isolation and twisted thinking. That being said, as a direct result of the gifts of the program, I have been so busy with my job that I have not been able to go to as many meetings as I used to. So an on-line meeting is good to fill in the gaps. God willing, I will celebrate 8 years of continuous sobriety on August 2oth. I am grateful for so many gifts I have received. I am particulary grateful now for being reminded that I need to maintain a grateful heart and not let the rigors of a busy life take me away from AA.
Member: PHILIP H
Location: AUSTIN,TEX
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 9:57:56 PM
HI TERRY P. I HAVE THE SAME PROBLEM. THIRTEEN YEARS WITHOUT BOOZE, BUT HAVE SMOKED POT FOR LAST SIX. RAN INTO A NEW GUY HERE, SAID" I SHOULD START OVER, FROM STEP ONE." BEEN CLEAN ALMOST 30 DAYS. GOD, OR WHAT EVER COSMIC MUFFIN HAS MADE ME FEEL WHOLE AGAIN. KEEP TRYING. LOVE.
Member: Donnna
Location:
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 10:24:42 PM
Hi, everyone. Donna, alcoholic. This is really great to hear. Reading all the posts about the gifts of sobriety generates so much hope--especially for those struggling to stay sober. I know for myself when I first got sober meetings like these kept me sober one day at a time. I saw that so much good could come out of tragedy if I could stick around and wait for the miracle to happen. Above anything else--I'm most grateful for the AA program and all the people in it and for AA giving me a Higher Power and showing me how to rely on it. Without that--I wouldn't appreciate what sobriety has given me. It's given me my family back, a great husband, 4 children that haven't had to see their mom as a blackout, raging drunk, true friendships I never thought possible, and the feeling of being comfortable and at peace with myself and others. It's all God and AA--One Day AT A Time. To those who are struggling---God Bless You---Keep coming back and reaching out. Thanks to all.
Member: Michelle D
Location: Indiana
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 10:34:35 PM
Michelle, alcoholic here, sober 7, almost 8 months.. The greatest gift to me was from God who gave me AA and sobriety- I never could have done this alone, though at times, the devil on my shoulder wants me to think I can. This gift He gave me is something I cherish and do not want to throw away for a short "warm and fuzzy" feeling which leads to regret and heartache and headache and no memories of what I did. I am so grateful for the people- now I do not have to feel alone-I have learned that in order for me NOT to feel alone, I can always go on line or pick up the phone before I pick up a drink. God Bless everyone and God look over all who are having rough times tonight and this week.
Member: Bruce J.
Location: Central Texas
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 11:25:10 PM
HEY TERRY AND LISA, I smoked pot every day for 25 years.I quit drinking for 2 years using pot as my crutch.What finally got me was when ,after getting out of jail for my 3rd DWI,I went back to AA(own my own)and after 3 days of not drinking,I was sitting at home reading the BB for the 1st time and got to the part in How It Works about "those who do not recover are those who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with THEMSELVES"!I was smoking a joint at the time!It hit me like a ton of bricks!I WANTED to stay sober this time!I put out the joint,gathered up my stash box(along with a half ounce of weed)and threw it in the trash container outside!This was on Monday and they didn't pick up the trash until Friday!It set there all week,calling me,but I never touched it.That was my previous sobriety date(4-30-1995)and I have not smoked any since.On 6/24/00 I drank 3 beers so I'm starting over again.I tried to quit drinking many times,but allways smoked pot.I couldn't stay sober for very long until I gave up ALL Drugs(except caffiene and nicotine)It's tough but you can do it.One day,one hour,one minuite at a time!Bruce J. Alcoholic Texan
Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry
Date: 7/31/00
Time: 11:31:40 PM
Hi Rhonda, alcoholic. Shannon you summed up how I feel perfectly. Michelle I have 8 almost 9 months in the program. I love AA annd how did I ever get by without the steps.? This program has given me freedom. Freedom from fear, anger, resentment and self-pity. I have also gotten back my self-respect - that is truly a gift. My higher power gives undeserved kindness to the humble ones.
Jack-stay with it. Have an open mind and let it happen. I was court ordered in 1992, Those meetings helped keep me sober out of fear. Slowly but surely the disease crept back till in 1999 I was right back to driving drunk again. Save the insanity - we're all the suffering from the same disease. Pray works! Try it. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Sarah E
Location:
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 1:59:38 AM
Hey friends my name is sarah, i'm an alcoholic 24 years old and the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous saved my life for sure. i would suggest for anyone struggling with the BIG LIE alcohol tells us may want to read the chapter more about alcoholism. It talks alot about our insanity. also the personal story Alcoholic number 3 is a favorite of mine. This is my first time here I love this program and I will join you as much as possible. pg 100 is my gratitude for today. Both you and the new man must walk day by day in the path of spiritual progress. if you persist remarkable things will happen. when we look back we realize that the things which came to us when we put ourselves in Gods hands were far better than anything we could have planned. Follow the dictates of a Higher Power and you will presently live in a new and wonderful world no matter what your present circumstances. thanks for letting me join you. love and prayers for all. Sarah
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 3:14:28 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
My greatest gift is a Higher Power and a spiritual awakening. Now I have a LIFE.
Peace and Serenity
Member: BILL T.
Location: SALEM,OR.
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 5:37:04 AM
Hi,I'm Bill, an alcoholic , been sober for a few days now,(9-15-97) The greatest gift this program has afforded me is the ability to NOT DRINK,Since I don't pick up that first one,I can actually do things like hold a job and provide for my family, which is my FAVORITE gift! Not even in my dreams did I think it would be this good,Life without a continuous hangover,what a concept!To any newcomers, This program will work for you ! I am living proof,get a sponsor, do the steps,go to meetings and share,Get involved in life, This program will teach you how,I remain in awe of my GOD, who pointed me in the direction he did, and in this program for showing me how to be a productive member of society...Peace to all who enter here..BILL T.
Member: Rick H
Location: Maryland, U.S.A.
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 6:21:14 AM
Hello brothers and sisters.I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict.I have not had a drink since may of this year or smoked any weed since that time.I can think much clearer and remember things now.I think the best gift of all was to stop pushing people away and to stop trying to hide from my addictions.I never thought i was a bitter person and thought i liked eveyone.Since i have been sober i have been meeting a lot more people and find myself to really care for everone i meet and not just act like it.I don't miss drugs and alcohol as much as i miss the years i have lost and don't remember.I thought life was great when i was an addict, then i got sober and realized thinge were not great then, great is being sober.I have also found the strenth to quit smoking cigarettes after fifteen years(almost half my life)and hope you all can find the strenth to do the same.I know one step at a time, and you could be smoking something worse than cigarettes but they are poison too.If anyone ever needs a friend and would like to get in touch with me they can do so at wizardofahhs@worldnet.att.net.I like to be there for people when they need a friend.One thing i do is drink coffee and its time to go make some more.My heart goes out to you all and i pray for the strenth you all need to become sober.Its a great place i have found out.
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Maine via Key West
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 7:06:19 AM
Hi Family Charlie a very grateful recovering alcholic, Great topic the gifts I have received in recovery are numerous, but the greatest gift is that I have learned to love myself and to stop trying to beat myself up for all the problems of the world. I also have been giving a HP who loves me even though I also thought he was hurting me where as I was the one who was hurting myself with abusing my body with alcholic, and like others have said I don't wake up with hangovers . I also have found gratitude for everything that happens in my life even the bad things which is not really bad only in this sick mind. To cope with life on life's terms is a blessing for me, and today after just over 3 years I am handling things one day at a time instead of projecting about the future, and the only thing rght now is finding the balance. Life is good even if sometimes I think it could be better today I live and that is my biggest blessing I love you family and thank you for helping me to stay sober another day.
Member: Ray H.
Location: Niagara Falls, NY.
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 8:09:32 AM
It's ironic that this was the topic this week. Last night I spoke at a local treatment facility. (first time speaking as well) Prior to that I had my weekly meeting with my spiritual advisor. At both of those the emphasis was that in the program, I was seeing the promises coming true. I have found a new freedom that I never knew exsisted. By turning my will and life over to my higher power I am no longer bothered by things that I always used to consider major and now realise aren't. Peoples opinion's about surroundings and or myself no longer matter as much as they did. I know that I have choices to make, but I don't have to make them on my own. I know that through out my day I have someone to turn to. I now wake up without feeling ill or wondering what I did last night. I look forward to each moment instead of dreading it. These are but a few of the gifts that I have recieved, but I know that every day I will continue to recieve more. Thanks for letting me share!
Member: Edie R.
Location: South Carolina
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 9:13:30 AM
Hi, I'm Edie and I'm a grateful recovering alcoholic. This is a great topic, I love to read of everyones blessings.
One of my biggest blessings in sobriety is the wonderful relationship with my daughter. During all of her teenage years our relationship was tough. I just knew that she hated me. I prayed and prayed and the biggest desire of my heart was for us to get along and today we do.
Also after 1 year in the program I married a wonderful man and I have a happy marriage and I didn't think that was possible for me. I thank God and AA for this good life I have today and I pray that I will be able to give back what has so freely been given to me.
Member: Sarah E
Location:
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 12:35:39 PM
Hi I'm sarah, alcoholic Very grateful to be sober and alive. I lost a program friend to suicide a few months ago and i'm missing her today. Part of me feels so sad to have her gone and another part teaches me to be so grateful for sobriety and freedom of self will. I'd appreciate your prayers. thanks for your support. Knowing AA and God won't let me down is keeping me sober for just another 24 hrs. keep coming back everyone i need you all so very much. Have a blessed day. love and hugs Sarah.
Member: Jean C.
Location: LA
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 12:39:33 PM
Hi, I'm Jean & I'm an alcoholic. The greatest gift of my sobriety so far (72 days) is that I am learning to turn over my anxieties, resentments, and unreasonable feelings to my higher power. I don't understand how it works, but it DOES work. I'm beginning to really experience that my intense feelings are only temporary, and that I don't need to drink alcohol, stir butter in things, or take prescription drugs to make them go away. I can just turn them over to my higher power and regain my serenity. Many thanks to my higher power and to the fellowship of AA for keeping this alcoholic sober one more day.
Member: Ellen M.
Location: Ontario
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 2:48:39 PM
Hey Everyone! I am Ellen and an alcoholic. I stumbled on this site and I almost started to cry. I think this is wonderful to see that there is always somewhere to go when you need to talk and share when your having problems. I have been sober 5 years on the 5th of August and I still have some bad days. What keeps me sober? The gifts I have received in sobriety. I have a wonderful loving partner, a gorgous step-daughter, a family that love's me, friends, and I woke up sober and guilt free. Just reading what you people have written has brightened my day and put a smile on my face! Thanks for being there for me!
Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 3:37:57 PM
Larry, alcoholic
The first gift of sobriety was when the compulsion to drink was lifted. If that were all I ever received out of coming to AA, it would have been enough. However, I have received much more. Slowly over the years the Promises began to come true in my life. Freedom from fear, gratitude, serenity, peace-of-mind, healthy relationships with my loved ones, are all wonderful gifts I've received in sobriety.
TERRY P: My experience with "marijuana maintenance" was similar to yours in that it blocked me from experiencing any sort of spirituality. However, I never craved a drink while smoking, although I was still an emotional adolescent prone to temper tantrums and other irresponsible behavior. I never let myself get confused between marijuana and alcohol though. For some people a drug is a drug is a drug, but I put alcohol in a class by itself because it's the only drug that I ever abused to the point of destroying my life. I was able to put down the other drugs, but not alcohol. Alcohol alone brought me to my knees. AA is about abstinence from alcohol, not marijuana. It's up to you, not your homegroup, how you feel about your marijuana use, i.e. whether to consider it a "relapse" or not. Because the issue is so emotional (I'm sure I'll get flamed here before the week is over!), you may want to get a sponsor (I'm assuming you don't have one now) and discuss it in confidence, rather than in a group setting. From an AA perspective, the bottom line here is that the marijuana seems to be sending you back to the bottle, as it does for many people, so you need to deal with it NOW! The guilt alone may send you back to drinking, since it's keeping you from going to your homegroup. If you are uncomfortable in your homegroup, go to another. You asked for help and it seems to me the best way to do that is to get a trusted person in AA as a sponsor to help you deal with your current situation. If you are having trouble putting down the pot, then maybe you are a drug-is-a-drug person and need to admit powerlessness over that as well. Whatever you decide to do, I wish you the best.
Peace & Serenity
Member: Ray T
Location: Florida
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 3:47:59 PM
Hello family,my name is Ray and Iam an alchoholic just stumbled in here don`t know how must be a God thing,will save to favorites.Bonnie great topic most of the gifts have already been said the two biggest gifts I have gotten are the hate I had for my father is gone before AA I thought he was nothing but a lousy drunk hated him till the day he died now Iknow he was a man suffering from a disease he knew nothing about.The other gift is that I don`t see any of me in my daughter at that age she is getting to see her dad grow up COOL.Wishing you all a day of no fear
Member: marty j.
Location: salem,oregon
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 3:54:42 PM
bill t./salem, do you ever go to the welcomma club?
marty
Member: Mandy R
Location:
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 4:21:04 PM
Mandy alcoholic. i'm going to my first AA meeting after my relapse, been sober 8 months without a meeting but feeling so angry and insane. i've been scared to go back but have received some feedback from this site. I feel like running. I don't know if I have the courage to walk back in and talk to people. My shame isn't so much from the relapse but from leaving the fellowship. I need some help, I'm sure close to turning the other way and picking up the bottle again. I know I'm only alone if i choose to be but I'm scared. I hope to be as grateful as you all are one day. Mandy
Member: Ernie F.
Location: NY
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 5:36:32 PM
Hi, Ernie and I'm an alcoholic...I really try to get to the meetings in person, but it's nice to know there is another alternative out here when I can't get to one (for example: planned on getting to a Noon meeting today, and with calls at work, it didn't happen...and now here I am).
The best gift...having a second chance with my family...wife and kids. I know that it was work between me and a higher power and I have not licked it, but day by day, I work on it.
Member: Bruce J.
Location: Central Texas
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 6:19:11 PM
Hey Mandy,Bruce J. here,alcoholic.I know what you are going through!I had many relapses and it always got harder to walk through that door with my tail between my legs!That's how I felt.
I stayed sober for 5 years then out of the blue I drank 3 beers!Being able to stop after just 3 is a direct gift of the program!(nothing worse than a belly full of beer and a head full of AA).
So just suck up your pride,Ask GOD to remover your fear and COME ON BACK!!!
You know we will always be here for you no matter what!!!
Bruce J.-Alcoholic Texan
Member: the deacon
Location: on the side
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 7:05:33 PM
mandy, bruce is right.as you arnt the first one who has ever relapsed!and you sure arnt the last one either!hell,thats what AA is all about to begin with.there aint any of us perfect,mind,body,or soul.so get back to that meeting,and forget about pride,or being embarresed.in order to succeed,we must also except failure,we all must learn from mistakes, in order to obtain success,not perfection.
exploding space shuttles?
Member: sarah beth
Location: austin, tx
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 7:54:35 PM
Hi, my name is Sarah Beth, 23, and, for the first time ever, I'm admitting that I am an alcoholic. This site has been a real inspiration to me and I feel indebted to everyone for their frank and honest postings. I can't remember more than 48 sober hours in the last couple of years and would welcome any advice on the following topics: 1. I can't help but feel like my drinking problem is strongly rooted in two genetic/family tendencies: my uncle died of alcoholism two years ago and many of my family members have suffered from chronic depression. I began drinking partly in response to being a severely depressed teen and would be interested in any info people could provide about dealing with depression and alcoholism at the same time. 2. I'm young (23) and really struggling with the idea of finding a social life with people my own age that doesn't revolve around alcohol. I consider myself a religious person but, frankly, I also know that I cannot happily hang out with super-conservative churchy types so I'm struggling to figure out who (my own age) I could go out with and have fun besides a few "straight-edge" punk rock kids I know. Is there a life after alcohol that doesn't have to be, well, boring? Can i keep the friends i know and love if they'll support my sobriety? how should i approach my own desire to be a non-drinker when many of my friends should probably be reaching out for help as well? I have a sincere desire to be sober but I could use some words of encouragement...thanks again for this site and any advice you can offer. sb
Member: Theresa S.
Location: Des Moines, IA
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 8:25:41 PM
Hello all,
I am Theresa S. and an alcoholic.
Wonderful topic! For me the best gift was getting the respect of my daughter back! And having her forgive me for all the times that I was too drunk to tend to her needs! I owe my life to that 19 year old! She brought phamplets home and put them all over the house! I went to AA just to show her that I did not belong there! Well, it has been three months! And I am still there! And so very grateful! This site is a God send to me as well! I have been so busy with work, that I can not always go to a meeting every day! But I can come in here and read! I see a lot of sobriety at this site, and I am so influenced by it!
And Sarah Beth, Indeed this illness runs in families! I come from a long line of them myself! Plus many in my family suffer from clinical depression.
I drank because I was depressed! And bored. Adn because I had an affliction that would not let me stop, once I started!
I come from a large family, and a lot of us cousins and uncles and aunts have kind of lost contact. Since I started AA, three months ago, I have been reunited with two uncles, one aunt, and three cousins. All by chance (or God's hand) and all at AA meetings! And all we could do was talk about the family memebers who were still out there suffering! We would need to rent an arena for all of us!
So bless you Sarah, I do know a lot about depression. From personal experience. I would be willing to talk to you by email about this. Tess@thestarlitecafe.com
Love to all of you and congrats on all the birthdays and the years of sobriety!
Member: lone rider
Location: nowhereland
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 8:39:35 PM
sara beth, i can relate with everything you have said.ive got twenty years on you and im still a mess!they got me on meds;been sober six months now,dont hang out with anyone,AND MY LIFE SUCKS!my oldest daughter just walked in the door,"i said hey sis can you get me a job?"shes a big dept.store manager you see,and says something about a haircut!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!well im still looking for a job....whatever happened to the last twenty years of my life,i have no idea. lone rider
Member: BILL T.
Location: SALEM,OR.
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 10:15:50 PM
MARTY J. from Salem,Or. I belong to GROUP ONE at the SOS club,look forward to seeing ya sometime .....Peace
Member: Paul Q
Location: Toronto
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 10:16:35 PM
The best gift is the one and only gift!
RECOVERED from a seemingly hopeless state of mind, body and soul.
Life is a dance if you take the steps!
1 of the 100 Love and Service Paul Q
Member: Rhonda K.
Location: Derry, N.h.
Date: 8/1/00
Time: 10:18:22 PM
Hi Rhonda alcoholic. lone rider and SarahBeth please read the big book, goto meetings andask ahigher powerfor help. Having a higher power in my life is better then drugs. We didn't get all screwed up over night. We ain't getting fixed overnight either. One of the old timers said to a newcomer who couldn't deal with the fact that they would not be able to drink FOREVER. The oldtimer said don't worry you're not going to live forever. Alcohol is a drug. You never have to "comedown" from this AA thing. Take care
Member: KarenMina
Location: near Seattle
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 12:12:09 AM
I'm on Day 4--almost lost it, in fact had decided to buy a bottle of wine on the way home--butsomehow "forgot" as I drove by the market and only "remembered" as I drove in my driveway. Sounds like a Higher Power at work to me. So here I am reading all your encouraging and worthwhile comments. For now this is my homegroup and I'm very grateful you are all here.
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 2:15:12 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.The greatest gift I have as a result of this program is that I am useful today, no more no less, just useful.I have a reason to get up in the morning. If my life does not get any better than it is at this exact moment, no regrets, no qualms, no looking back.I have been truly blessed by God and the Fellowship of Alcoholic's Anonymous. God Bless all on our journey in recovery.
Member: Rick M
Location: Michigan
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 5:28:38 AM
Gifts of hte program for me include a loveing family.Four wonderful children ,and a secure form of employement, and a countueing education.These are things I never drempt of acureing in my lifetime.
Member: Jean C.
Location: LA
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 9:45:18 AM
I know I'm only supposed to post once a week, but Sarah Beth--you sound just like I was at 23. It took me another couple decades of drinking to figure out that it wasn't going to get better. Alcohol is a depressant. When I stopped drinking, the depression got a lot better within days. I'll always have the depression, and I can work with it. But medicating it with alcohol isn't a solution. Go to a meeting. The Big Book (called Alcoholics Anonymous) and the 12x12 (Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions) are available at bookstores & at the meetings. The co-founder of AA (Bill W.) suffered from chronic depression--but his life was a lot better after he got sober, and yours will be too. You will find ways to party after alcohol. Most AA people are not "churchy" and I don't find them boring--after all, we're all a bunch of recovering drunks & we like to party too. We just need to learn to party in a way that isn't going to kill us.
Good luck and if you want to talk more, email me at
pbird@ucla.edu
JEAN
Member: Kathy E.
Location: MI
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 10:27:18 AM
Good morning! The greatest gift I have recieved first my sobriety. Secound my son is in a program and doing great:>) Wow my higher power is really working. Power of prayer has been stronge in my life! Have a great day Family and please pray for my Ricky that he will continue one day at a time and thank you now for your PRAYERS Love from angel1
Member: Robert B
Location: Nova Sctia
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 11:09:49 AM
Hi all,glad to be here again.We have a poster on the wall in one of my favorite AA club houses.It showes a guy with an enormous bottle on his back and the caption reads "take a load off".For me thats the greatest gift,the freedom to not HAVE to drink,to go through all the misery that drinking brings me,to not be sick,to not always be worried about whats going to happen next,to have a bit of sanity and serenity,to actually enjoy going to work,to have people glad to see me,to not worry about my liver or pancreas giving up the fight,to not always be trying to maintain the fine kine of being drunk enough,but not so drunk that I can't function or go into a blackout,to not being so pissed off with myself about what I did or how much money Ive wasted,to get rid of the fear of running out of booze when the store or bars closed,to be able to drive without fearing the cops,it is freedom,the desire to drink alcohol has left and I hope it never returns.I never thought it would.And Sara Beth,that worry about how boring life would be without booze kept me drinking long after I knew I had to quit,or die.My head still wanted it even though the body couldn,t take it.Now I can,y seem to find enough hours in the day to do the things I really enjoy,and make a living,and Im never bored for very long.The kinda excitement booze was giving me,sickness and trouble I can do without.And Terry,I used to love pot as much as booze,and tried it while I was trying to maintain an AA program,it just didn't work for me,I felt dishonest and like I was cheatig,and it was only a small step to Ativan,Serax,Librium,and soon I wondered how all this was much different than a good stiff drink,and so I took that drink,and ended up nearly destoying myself again,15 more months of hell before I made it back.Like someone just said,a head full of AA and a belly full of booze is not a pleasent thing.Thank you all,its really helped me to share here this morning,and I hope that Ive said something that could help someone else.
er
Member: Liz D
Location: Boston
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 12:27:52 PM
I have received so many gifts in sobriety, some so subtle that I didn't even notice them until much later. I can get out of bed in the morning and want to live. I know that nothing will happen that God and I can't handle together. I have a very simple and loving relationship with God. I have a good job with benefits where I am a respected member of the company. I have my own apartment. I graduated from college. I no longer want to be anyone's doormat. I have choices today. I don't wake up in a pool of vomit or urine. I look like a million bucks. I talk to my Dad and we laugh. My cousins called me on my 22nd birthday to tell me how much they love me...They are 3 and 5. I like my friends, and they like me. I always have voicemails form people who WANT to talk to me I am not the butt of people's jokes. I have a wonderful friend who sponsors me. My mom is now my best friend. I can say goodbye to people and not fall apart. I am sober right now, and I don't have to drink today. Keep coming- Peace and love
One day at a time...no shame in relapse...just keep coming back.
Member: Becky P
Location: Sarasota
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 12:53:56 PM
Hey y'all
Becky alcoholic here,
Good to a postive topic and so many wonderful responses. For me, the basic key is that it all begins with love. My higher power has been showering me with love and I have ignored it so mucj, put up my umbrella and just about doing things my way. Now I let Him rain all over me and we're both smiling! It's so good to wake up and not despise myself- I know y'all know that great feeling!! (or your happy version of it!!)
Here's to another 24!!
Member: Davis M
Location: Allentown, PA
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 1:12:34 PM
Hello all. Davis m alcoholic. great topic, the gifts of sobriety. to me, every moment is a gift. i asked that AA help me to not drink and you taught me how to live and how to enjoy every moment. for that i am grateful. not that life isn't tough now that i have some sobriety. there are some very tough days. but you all taught me how to get through it some-what sanely. 1 day at a time
Member: Jim B.
Location: Roi Namur, RMI
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 1:47:09 PM
Hi all Jim B. here alcoholic, Happy to know I'm alcoholic and grateful to be here sober. Thanks for the great topic and all the great sharing as well. For me everyday is something of a miracle for me as I was a low bottom drunk with a very long and degrading bottom. Since getting sober I have not had to eat out of a dumpster, spend any time in jail, miss a rent payment, or constantly borrow and con people for money. I'm able to maintain long term employment and be self supporting. I too was able to return to college and graduate which has opened the door to the great job I have today. I can't tell you what a thrill it is to come home after a long day at work and stretch out in my easy chair (which I bought with my own money) and reflect back to when I was hopeless, homeless and unemployable on the streets! Today I am a completely differant person than I was just a few short years ago. This program has saved my life! Thank you all for being there and 12 stepping me.
Member: Mike V
Location: Maple Valley, WA
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 2:07:23 PM
Hi my name is Mike and I am an alcoholic, One of the greatest gifts I've received is beeing a part of a fellowship of people, that would normally never meet or talk, that share with one another, experience, strength, and hope, to overcome a common problem.One alcoholic talking to another alchloic, I beleive is the true strength of the program. This is how the program worked from the very begining before there was a big book or steps. I can't begin to tell you how each one of you, and everyone I have herd has helped me. To all of you that are questioning if your alcholic or if you can do one drug and not another, I beleive booze and drugs are just a symptom of the real problem. Same old suggestion here, read the book, get a sponser, go to a meeting, and don't pick up. Its a simple program that will probally be the hardest thing you've ever done in your life. I has and continues to be for me. We are never cured. All we have is a daily reprieve, contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. In love and service---Mike V.
Member: Mike M
Location: SE Wisconsin
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 2:35:48 PM
Hi everyone. Mike alki! This morning I woke up very lonely and very bored. I've managed to keep those feelings at bay for the 2 1/2 months of sobriety so far, but this mornig they were overwhelming. I lived in San Francisco for 10 years and now live in rural wisconsin. (home) don't know many people and have no licence so it's sometimes hard to get to meetings. I was reading the 24 hour book this morning and the reading was about showing support for outsiders who have an interest in AA. I was thinking to myself "what the hell does this have to do with me" and God boomed through my entire conscienceness "why the hell does it always have to be about you!" and I just started laughing. How true. My lonliness and self absorbing attitude soon vanished. that is what I'm most grateful for from the program today. I too was in and out of the program for 9 years by the time I was 23 and it took me another 11 years of utter alcoholic misery to finally wake up and admit total and utter defeat and come crawling back to AA on my knees after swearing off AA not 4 months ago. Love to all!xxxooo
Member: Robin
Location: NY
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 6:04:34 PM
I'm Robin, Alcoholic. I am grateful for the gift of knowing that something is not right in my life. I used to just drink to cover up the odd feelings. Now I know that I may need to change something in my life. I had a rough week, but was able to know I needed to get closer to my HP. I did some extra Praying, and took time to think some things through before I made a huge mistake. Yes, I am grateful I can think before drinking. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: out of here
Location: usa
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 8:36:22 PM
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key board,i guess its better then picking up a bottle.sorry.
Member: Michael B
Location: AZ
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 9:52:15 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome to the newcomers! Thanks everyone for sharing!
Great topic, Bonnie! Of course, the most important gift resulting from practice of the AA Program is sobriety, but there are others resulting from our sobriety that take on meaning as well. For me, the greatest is participating in the spiritual realm, as well as the three-dimensional world.
Prior to my membership in the Program, not only was I a down and out alkie, but I had no realization of the spiritual. Fortunately, AA introduced me to this dimension and life, despite its hardships and disappointments, has become much more rich and meaningful to me.
Member: Bruce J.
Location: Wimberley,Texas
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 11:10:55 PM
HEY SARA BETH !!!!! Bruce J. alcoholic here.I Can imagine how tough it must be finding friends your own age that want the same things you want! I live in Wimberley and go to a lot of meetings in Austin.(Western Trails,Westlake,New Beginnings,Northland)Ther are a lot of people your age that go to meetings.Get a list and shop around.You may be surprised how many you find. In the meantime if you want someone to chat with e-mail me at <brucej@myself.com>
Bruce J. Alcoholic Texan
Member: Bobo
Location: Hanalei, Hawaii
Date: 8/2/00
Time: 11:53:21 PM
Hi my name is Bobo and I am an alcoholic, Gifts of Sobriety in the Order I Got Them: (1) First I got back my physical health. I was able to eat nourishing food again and not always be throwing up. I was able to sleep instead of passing out. Soon I was even well enough to get exercise and go back to my favorite sports, surfing and swimming. (2) Next I regained my intelligence. My first few weeks sober I couldn't have put a string of words together to form an understandable sentence if you had paid me. I was very confused and disoiented. Slowly I regained my brainpower and eventually studied for and passed a pretty tough test fo get my captains license. (3) Then I became financially stable and was able to actually support myself after years of being completely unemployable. Soon I was able to buy my own clothes instead of wearing hand-me-downs, buy a car, live in a house, I even got a telephone under own name. Cheez, I even own a couple of appliances. (4) After quite a while my family came to realize I really was staying sober. They learned to love and trust me again. My friends and community now consider me a solid citizen. Wow, that's amazing, a miracle! (5) The biggest gift of all and the one that took me the longest to realize, I have a God that loves me. Thanks for the great topic. Aloha, Bobo
Member: Sharon E.
Location: AZ
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 1:05:42 AM
Sharon E. Location AZ Sobriety date 6 Oct. 1974 My gifts have to be my girl who's in univ. this year as a sophomore and my husband also in AA.
Member: Connie87
Location: MO
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 1:20:57 AM
Hi
My name is Connie and I am definitely an alcoholic.
(((((((((Bonnie))))))))))))... Thank you for the topic and thank you for being a true friend to me. Today I am grateful for having friends like you in my life. Who cares enough to be so brutely honest with me about my life. Whom opens my eyes to the reality that is right in front of me. I have a great gift from this program and that is sobriety, and able to see it is not always about me. When others get angry with me, and I don't know why, it is usually something that has upset them and they are taking it out on me. This program has taught me how to live one day at a time. And it has showed me, even when I get into a deep depression that there are people whom love me anyways...
I wish everyone a sober day just for today
Hugs and Peace
Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location:
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 4:14:31 AM
Hi extended family, bonnie/recovered alcoholic/pillhead/potsmoker here, back again to share this time. (((ROOM-HUG))) WOW! what wonderful shares this wk! To the folks that came in feeling like crap, don't give up 5 minutes before your miracle, if you stay sober & clean, it is promised to happen. Sometimes quickly sometimes slowly but it will dear hearts.(by the way, look how God is using you to help those who feel the same way, He must have big plans for the rest of your life)
For me, if I am taking a mind altering substance into my system, I am not sober. Whether it be smoking a joint or having an O'Douls which has .05% alcohol in it. Nyquil, cough syrups some foods, some ice creams, real vanilla extract, etc, I have to be very careful with what I injest. a label reader. To thine own self be true.
One of the most important gifts I was given in sobriety was from someone that I don't even remember but their gift has saved me many times. Their words were *Pain is the touchstone to growth, if you are sober and in pain, it's God trusting you to grow. That God didn't bring me this far to let me go. He was just trusting me to start taking steps on my own now. That I was one of God's Treasures and He loved me. That God opens the door to AA (sometimes even thru the courts) to those that he loves so much and once here He allows me to make the decision to accept the gifts that He promised on pgs 83 and 84 or I can choose the horrors of my old life. He loves me so much that He even left the choice up to me. All I had to do is walk thru this uncomfortable feeling of change to get the rewards on the other side. She also said another thing that has been a gift used many times, If you are in pain *This too shall pass* it is only temporary. I was in so much mental pain when these word were spoken that I couldn't even lift my eyes to see who said them. That night on the way to the meeting I made a deal with myself that if I didn't hear anything that addressed my pain (thinking specifics- ha ha how self-centered am I?) that I was going to buy a bottle on the way home. When that woman said that, that night, it was like someone turned on a light in a very long dark tunnel. I thought I was standing still in my program until I read the first part of the sixth step where it says this separates the men from the boys (women from the girls) meaning this changing stuff was not going to be easy and my HP was transforming me into that woman I wanted to become. One that holds her head high, that walks with dignity and grace and whose eyes shine with the knowing that God loves her. One that feels right with the world and fits in every room she walks into unless it will harm her. That intuitive knowing. One that can truly love and be loved. One that God can trust to help others. Not the one that would betray others because she was full of fear or take her frustrations out on innocents or have to be loud and brash to be hip, slick and cool to get attention only to shrink in shame the next day. I was raised very poor but when I made it to the program I had everything money and prestege could buy. So why was I so miserable? Why couldn't all this money buy happiness. my malady wasn't monitary, it was spiritual & emotional bankruptcy. I was living my life without principles and boundaries and when you don't stand for something you fall for anything. Look for love in alll the wrong places. Working the steps in order, many times, cleans up the wreckage of the past and helps me adopt principles and boundaries that keeps the door open and the gifts rollin in. what gifts have i received, everything in this world thats good for me has remained, everything that was destroying me is gone (not without a fight tho, I was also addicted to my chaos). In other words, God has gifted me with His partnership, love, laughter, peace and hope, the rest is just icing. Dear God thank You for all You've given me, all You've taken away and all You've left and please bless all who venture here. love and hugs, bon -- bonzoc@webtv.net
Member: Jennifer E.
Location: Richmond, Va
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 7:05:57 AM
Hi, Jennifer alcoholic, grateful to have found this meeting this morning. Great topic Bonnie. The greatest gift I have received is the gift of soberiety. I have been in these rooms since April 17, 1989. I have seen people come and go either by drinking or dying. Bottom line for me is not to drink or use and to go to meetings. Everything else seems to take care of itself. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: david b
Location: nsw aust
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 7:43:44 AM
to jack b texas i came to aa for my family it did not work then i came for myself it worked this understanding is one of the gifts i have recived from aa i am 18yrs sober
Member: Bert>K.
Location: Victoria Australia
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 8:29:35 AM
Hi to all I am a bit late this week ,but I have been working on my house. Bert.K. alky and all I can add to this topic is to say that A.A. gave me another chance to live a wonderful life, which I have been enjoying now for 19 years. I am a lucky alky and got my family around me and all because I dont pick up a drink a day at a time.I thank A.A. for god and I thank god for A.A. Good luck to all alkies and all the more to the ones still suffering.And if you are smoking pot save your life and get to the first A.A.meeting you can find and ask a lot of sober members for help and you will get it. GOD BLESS YOU ALL. Bert.K. Victoria, Australia.
Member: Michele
Location: Ca
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 11:38:12 AM
hi everyone, michele,alk/addict here. this is such a good topic because it allows me to count my blessings and acknowledge what a huge difference there is in my life,work and relationships. SARAH BETH !!! I felt exactly like you when I first realized I was an alcoholic. I drank because of depression and then continued to drink-for whatever reason. I come from a family that used and suffered from depression also. What the real surprise and one of the most joyous memories I've ever had was realizing how much fun sober alcoholics are!! I never thought I could have such a good time and belly laugh so hard I thought I'd wet my pants as I have with people I've met in AA. You don't have to hang with "church types" or with people who are dry drunks..Give the program a chance because it's such a trip into so many different experiences. We're very creative people-and we're a lot like race car drivers who had to smash ourselves into a wall before we realized we had to stop driving so fast. Creativity has it's price!! In sobriety I can party hardier and the bonus is that I remember what happened and don't have to barf in the morning. Keep coming back! It does work!
Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 12:34:01 PM
What a wonderful topic...when I had my first "AA" birthday in June of this year, a friend gave me a copy of the book "2nd Year Sobriety". In it, one fellow talks about "after 15 months, who can get excited about not waking up with a hangover anymore?" Well...I can. Every single morning, I just appreciate so much feeling good. Feeling real. I spent so many years feeling like a wind-up toy. And then a wind-up toy with an insatiable need for vodka, raging hangovers, and self-hatred beyond belief. So if 'all' I got every day was an absence of those things, life would be a dream. But there's so much more. My prayer today is that people reading these posts with a drink in their hand, and no hope, can somehow manage to believe that what they read here is true and real and can happen to them. There is more help out there than you can imagine...just pick up the phone, dial AA, and be honest. Peace of mind on a beautiful summer day to us all.
Member: Jenn S
Location:
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 3:00:34 PM
Hi my name is Jenn S. I'm returning to AA after once again realizing that my life is out of control based upon my use of alcohol. And I really want it to stop. I have found all of your comments to be very uplifting and positive. I look forward to being sober (all the time) and living without the guilt and shame I've been dealing w/ for years. I want to thank all of you for giving me the gift of hope:) Thanks
Member: Jan
Location:
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 3:28:38 PM
Hi Jan alcoholic. Today I am sober, but tomorrow I may not be. I have been in the program for at least 2 years, off and on. This last relapse really took the cake. Death was in the air. I use to worry aobut what I was going to do the rest of the week now I just worry about today.Iam thankful for all of you here.
Member: Nilda M.
Location: Macon, Ga
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 7:49:35 PM
I am so gratefull to be sober today. Many of the promises have come true for me, I'm glad I stuck around and I hear it keeps getting better.
Member: Mike M
Location:
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 7:54:29 PM
Hi everyone!
A classic AA topic. How did it get to feel this great to be alive? The AA program of recovery one day at a time. Gratitude is the LACK of self pity. Also recognizing the good things which have come my way. And Not having all that garbage to carry around. One of the promises reads "Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change." It has. I hear it said aroud here "If your attitude is grattitude you got it made." I can best express my gratitude in service.
Sarah Beth, I took my last drink at age 23 and have been sober only with the help of AA. That was in 1977. I could not imagine life without alcohol or life continuing drinking. The sober life is much less boring. Give it a try. And It's not so much the drinking as it is the ALCOHOLISM!! good luck and God bless.
Larry M. Thanks for cutting through to the heart of the matter.
And everyone thank you for giving me this gift for one more day. I feel good I feel better than James Brown!!
Peace, Mike (from ol cape cod)
Member: Tinali
Location: Northern California
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 10:08:25 PM
HI EVERYONE! Tina, alcoholic- What I love & am nourished by from the AA fellowship is how the simplist little things people tell me can be SOoo profound. Today I shared with another AA how I was just beginning to be able to truly SURRENDER (after 11+ yrs, no less). So she gave me a little tidbit that really drove the meaning HOME. There was this soldier who'd been fighting in the trenches for weeks, all sorts of horrific stuff flying overhead & all about him. He knew as all his comrades lay dead or dying near him that his number was up - soon he'd be dead. So he decided to raise the white flag of surrender. It saved his life. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Tom.B
Location:
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 11:01:30 PM
HI,I'm Tom and I'm an alcohalic. This is my first meeting on line.I've been in an out for 10 yrs.But I rember the gifts like it was yesterday.My bigest was finally doing the things I with my kids that I only promised to do before.I rember playing with pot and as soon as the pot ranout in the small town I live in I went back to booze. So be careful.
Member: Jennifer
Location: Boulder,CO
Date: 8/3/00
Time: 11:28:43 PM
HI SarahBeth! I came in the program when I was 24 years old. My husband came in at 19 yrs old. He now has 10 years of sobriety and I have 3 years. It seemed to me that there weren't a lot of young people at first, too. But, I kept going to meetings and started making friends of all ages. Now, I definately have friends that are my age and many that aren't. And you know what? Age doesn't matter. What matters are the common experiences, dreams, goals and basic need to stay sober. That is what links us all together. I hope you stick around and give sobriety a chance because you are worth it.
Member: Anne T
Location: Alberta
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 2:28:08 AM
Hi!my name is Anne and I am an alcoholic. Reading most of your "sharings" I realized that I had forgotten to feel grateful most of the day. I haven't been to many meetings this week and got miffed with one of my friends in our home group at the beginning of the week. When I think of all the blessings I have received in the past two years and four months - I don't know how I could let that happen. I've been so very grateful to God, AA and all the wonderful people in the groups that I needed the jolt reading this topic. It was just one of those days feeling lonely and blue. I am a widow and most of my AA friends have husbands or wives to which they rightly have to give some attention. I have received so much help from all these caring people over my sobriety that I feel ashamed that I lapsed into self pity today. My usual remedy is to pray to my Higher Power who always answers my prayers. I have many things to be thankful for the same as most of you who have been with the program for any length of time. I am grateful for being sober each 24 hours. Grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. I am especially grateful for having been told of this site - even though I should be in bed at this time of night - I felt the need to share with all of you. To those of you who are just beginning - have faith in that Higher Power who takes care of us all for the asking. I have faced much adversity in sobriety but God has always found an answer to my problems - sometimes in the most surprising ways. There is no end to what can be achieved if we just "Let go and let God" God Bless you all, especially the newcomers, also the old timers who gave me that kick in the butt that I needed today.
Member: Mary A
Location: southern minnesota
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 2:46:48 AM
HiI'm an alcoholic my name is Mary. There are so many different gifts that I have received during my sobriety. the best is my daughter and the second best is the ability to raise her in a better style then I was raised. Being aware of all the good things around me. People who truly care about me. Being able to wake up in the morning and not dread the day. Letting myself meet people and share things with them. The literature from A.A. that always changes when I read it. It shows me different things as they become important to me. Being able to attend the international conference and seeing so many happy alcoholics. I hope that each of you may find numerous blessings as you trudge the road. Take Care.
Member: raidy m.
Location: a much better place
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 9:04:08 AM
The choice.
Member: raidy m.
Location: a much better place
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 9:15:35 AM
The choice.
Member: Camo
Location: deep South
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 10:31:01 AM
Gifts of the Program? LIFE.
I was also one of those who laughed at people who lived "boring" lives. I lived in my little delusion that the chaos of my life was better than having it be dull and ordinary. The truth is that I was scared that I could not do the things all those boring people did. I was always hurting, always feeling like I was different, always sure I had to keep anyone from finding out that I really was just not good enough. And God forbid that I should ever show anyone that a lot of that "go to hell" attitude was covering up pain! Drinking had quit feeling good; it was just a way to make the pain a little less distinct for a while.
Thanks to this program I can live today without all that misery, and lots of times even have a measure of inner peace. I don't have to pay for a few high spots with a lot of twisting pain inside. My "highs" are real, not chemical illusions now, and I can even do some of those dull, ordinary things without it ragging me. That's one of the miracles of this program. If we work for it, it will happen and it is way better than I ever thought possible. And if I ever get tired of enjoying life, all that misery is just one drink away.
Member: Ray P.
Location: Denver CO
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 11:38:50 AM
Hi everybody...I!m a real alcoholic...my problem is Ray!!!Sooo many gifts that I have recieved..the mental obsession for etoh has been removed for today...I can think about it in passing and not have to dwell on it...I have!nt quit drinking..I just have not had to take a drink one day at a time since Dec. 15 1980...To Terry P. from Alabama..I too lived the third chapt.of big book,, anyone can add to the list ad infinitum. Get a sponsor to work with and learn what the AA preamble is about..study the third tradition in case you are not a real alcoholic...22 years is a long time to meander.......anyway God Bless you all and keep on keeping on.....Ray
Member: Danna
Location: Montana
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 12:33:59 PM
what an awsome meeting! I love aa and everyone in aa, this is wonderful, aa on line meetings, Stay away from the first drink, read the bigbook and go to meetings, even if its just the one on the computer. All the best everybody!
Member: kt
Location: maryland
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 2:17:15 PM
Hey everyone. KT alcoholic. I'm 11 yers sober and I haven't been to a meeting in 3 months. I began seeing a counselor and stopped goig to my meetings. I'm more depressed now then ever. I thought I would feel better but I don't. The messages on gratitude have helped me remember how lucky I am to be sober. Like I said I have been sober for 11 years and have most definetly gotten back into life and slowly left AA. Beleive me I can feek it emotionally. Even though I'm depressed and I know there is freedom through working the steps I wn't make it a priority. I'm in a relationship and finding balance between the relationship and AA and work and every thing else is not happending. All I can think is that I must not be hurting bas enough to do hatever it takes to be happy joyous and free. At one point in my sobriety I had a sponsoring, I was working the steps and applting them to my life and sponsoring others and I was happy jouyous and free. I'm scared b/c I don't know what it's going to take to make AA a priority again. I often think o.k I'm going to start making AA a priority but I don't do anything about it. I know this was off the topic but I'm just about at wits end. I did try to go toa meeting at noon today but couldn't find it. Thansk for listening....kt
Member: Dan
Location: Canada
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 2:22:25 PM
Dan here, an alcoholic. Only been by this site a few times and posted, but I see the message of hope continues. Bonnie C., thanks for the wonderful topic. Your hard won sobriety is an inspiration. By reading your words, I know what you've gone through to arrive where you are, and appreciate your care and honesty, as these are two traits that serve us well in AA and recovery. Thanks for putting your hand out into cyberspace to help others to recover.
So many blessings I've received, as a result of developing a relationship with my HP and by doing the steps of this program, I can't begin to list them all. AA has given me my life back, as my life was burried with relentless craving, fear, and resentment. I've received so many blessings and so much growth, a day at a time. The 6th and 7th steps come before 8-12, and are a true mesure of long-term spiritual growth. Yes, these steps separate the men from the boys or the women from the girls. However, I'd like to say that steps 6 and 7 separate me from my harmful defects of character and release me from the barriers between me and my true self as my Higher Power would have me be. What a blessing it has been to become a person free from the pains of guilt, remorse, and fear surrounding the lifestyle of alcoholism. Last night at a meeting by the ocean I heard someone say, "you can save your face or your ass, but not both." For this program to be real, I've got to be honest with myself.
This program is a true blessing. Bonnie C, thanks for such a wonderful topic!
Dan
Member: JL
Location: The Beach, California
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 3:30:39 PM
Gifts of the Program
JL, I am a very grateful alcoholic.
I too have received many of the gifts that have been stated above. A top ten list would include love and respect from family, getting to know myself, freedom from the obsession to drink, lowered blood pressure, new friends, a god of my understanding, the ability to be of service, a sponsor, tools to deal with life's challenges, and new found love of life.
This being said, mere words cannot adequately describe the gifts I have received in sobriety. The emotions and feelings in me that I now have just were not there with a body and soul polluted with alcohol. The gift of life renewed, a second chance. A very large part of all of the above is reflected in me as the gift of not running away and hiding from anything or anyone.
Member: Shirley J
Location: Alaska
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 5:08:28 PM
Hello everyone, my name is Shirley and I am a very grateful alcoholic. I am so grateful today just to have sobriety to be grateful for. I am experiencing the freedom from wanting alcohol, the assurance of not having my liver distroyed and the sense of relief with honesty to myself and my spouse. I feel more energetic both mentally and physically and know that I have even better days ahead. I am so grateful for this on-line meeting time because I live in an isolated village accessible only by air and no AA fellowshiop. Thanks for your comments supporting each other, because they certainly support me too.
Member: angela b
Location: virginia
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 5:14:34 PM
hey yall. angela alcoholic. freedom. love
Member: Carole D.
Location:
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 5:49:11 PM
Hi all!
I'm Carole D. (alcoholic-adddict). I have 59 days sober and this is my first meeting. I'm grateful to be alive.
On June 5th, my boyfriend and I were drinking and driving (he driving) and hit a tree head on, took out a fence and two parked cars. I ended up with a broken nose and a face that looked like hamburger. The body heals itself, but I am trying to heal my soul. My boyfriend is getting help in a residential treatment center but I need help myself. I am so glad to find this site since due to the fact I live in very rural area, meetings are hard to get to. I am looking forward to getting on with my new life with the help of AA.
Thank you for this site!
Carole@hosenbeast.com
Member: Kay H
Location: Maine
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 9:59:15 PM
My self respect. Peace to us all.
Member: Francisco Rivero
Location: Orlando
Date: 8/4/00
Time: 10:26:04 PM
Hi,this is the first time I enter this web site. I don't consider myself an alcoholic (because I don't drink, the exception was my wife's graduation, so that night I drank and drove) but is a requirement from the people at the DUI program. I do understand alcoholism and its effects so I'll be glad to help anyone.
Member: Michele
Location: Ca
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 12:20:13 AM
Hi Michele here, alk and addict and I had to get back to you because I learned some really important MEDICAL INFORMATION RE; HEP C!! I wouldn't post this if it didn;t come from a research MD that I personally know in NYC- she helped with providing valuable alternative/testing medicine when my late husband was dying of cancer. It was too late for him (he was an alkie as well) but the medicine is naltrexone. Anyone can call Bernard Bihari at 212 929-4196 and get referred to a distributing MD in their area. I guess the only drawback-which may be critical for some of us (but maybe not for others, is that this drug was created for what I call "a bandaid" aproach for kicking heroin, cigarettes and alcohol addictions in that it raises your endorfin levels when taken in very high doses. However, taken in small doses, I've been told that it's made incredible progress in putting hep c and aids into remission,. I know of a woman taking it locally for lymphoma and in 6 months she's gotten better, and that's from an early diagnosis of cancer. I don't want to make judgements on it - but I'm sufficiently impressed to check it out because my brother and 3 of my friends have hep c and haven't responded that well to the meds they were given or interferon,. It's off the subject and a double post but I hope it might help someone else whose back may be up against the wall (again!!) here's to another 24 hours and my best to all of you and thanks for a great weeks reading.
Member: Michele (again)
Location: Ca
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 12:38:37 AM
Michele here AGAIN!! Sorry but that medicine only costs 24 bucks a month!!
Member: Laurie L.
Location: California
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 1:37:01 AM
Hi, I'm Laurie, and I'm an alcoholic. At first, I had to really think to come up with a gift i've received since coming to AA 154 days ago. Then, the list seemed to grow so fast my alcoholic brain couldn't keep up. First off, I'm sober today! When I first came to these rooms I had no idea how to live and it seemed that I just couldn't die. I've been given tools to live. I've been given people that seem to love me even though I don't feel like I deserve it. I'm walking through situations, that I know in my heart, I wouldn't have the courage to crawl through, before. Occasionally, I'm able to handle situations which used to baffle me. I tell the truth - even to myself. When called on my bull I don't hate myself but take the lesson and try to do better, next time. Thank you all for being here - I was really down and confused but this topic got me out of myself and onto the priceless gift of being sober - one more day.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 7:36:30 AM
Hi Jan, recovering alcoholic. What a great topic Bonnie and your post was wonderful! I have been given so much these past ten years, it's hard to know where to begin. I am so grateful to AA for the life that I have now. The steps, sponsors, meetings, service, HP, have all moved me in a direction of a joyus, happy and free life. At five years on my 40th birthday I took my first trip abroad, alone. At a meeting in Paris, I met a man. Two years later we were married (my first), a year after that our son was born (also my first). I would call these two men in my life, who make me so happy, my gifts of sobriety. I am so grateful for the life I have today, I would never have thought in any way my life would be like this. Thank you for letting me share.
Member: VJ
Location: San Joaquin Valley, CA
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 9:44:56 AM
VJ, Alcoholic. Tomorrow I will celebrate 30 days sober (2nd time in the last 5 yrs) AND SO GRATEFUL for ALL the blessings I have been offered by being involved with AA, sobriety, and my HP. I'm learning so much every day and thank all of you for sharing and letting me share. Happy recovering!
Member: Chris H.
Location: Florida
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 2:14:33 PM
Hi all--Chris alk/addict/bulimic---great meeting for me--I need gratitude this week--the greatest gifts I have gotten (if I can only pick a few) are the knowledge that I am not the Only completely crazy, sicko in the world, and having people that I can be completely honest with( not that I always am). The 4th and 5th step, and" keeping my side of the street clean", have changed and saved my life. I have always been very invovlved in the church , but unfortunately, that self honesty was not available to me in the church( I am not church basher---I am stilla devout CHristian and church goer---It just means more now)---I now know how to clean out the wound and find healing...I am struggling myself with depression this week..If I just stick around until the miracle happens , I know my HP is faithful...and that the program of AA Works...thanks you all for being here and available to all of us when we so desperately need it!!
Member: Harry W
Location: Fl
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 8:04:38 PM
Hi frinds i'm new to this. I have 9mo.This is the frst time on Yahoo. I'm looking for frins to chat to. I do not know wear to go. I,m going to a meeting now. I will be back. So if andy one can help me frind it on the yahoo.Love you all and think you for keeping me sober
Member: Harry W
Location: Fl
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 8:05:12 PM
Hi frinds i'm new to this. I have 9mo.This is the frst time on Yahoo. I'm looking for frins to chat to. I do not know wear to go. I,m going to a meeting now. I will be back. So if andy one can help me frind it on the yahoo.Love you all and think you for keeping me sober
Member: Dan H.
Location: Glennallen Alaska
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 9:18:18 PM
Grateful for AA and the gifts it has given me...Losing my fear of things, the ability to finally grow up and be what I always wanted to be...SOBER !!ps to Shirley in Alaska....Hang in there...I am also very grateful for our meeting on Wednesday nights...even though I'm usually the only one there. Sometimes one other guy comes when he's here. Been that way for 3 years and I celebrated my 3 year birthday on Aug. 1 this year. The grapevine and this site really help alot.
Member: Gerry Mc.
Location: Daytona, Fl.
Date: 8/5/00
Time: 10:12:14 PM
I'm an alcholic, my name is Gerry I put it that way so I don't forget. Gifts of sobrity; one more day to live sober. It's a great way of life. Never knew how good life could be without booze. All of the promises have come true for me one day at a time. AA has given me a new life. It's great. If you are new to the program trust in it it won't fail. I was once told the elevator is broken & I would have to use the steps. I did and it worked, if it worked for me it'll work for anyone.. thanks for letting me share.
Member: Kat A
Location: Boone
Date: 8/6/00
Time: 1:05:17 AM
I'm Kat and I'm an alcoholic. The gifts this program has given me are so numerous but the most important is the joy of living each day. I don't have to worry about tommorrow or regret yesterday, the program taught me to live each day as it comes. I celebrate the tiny daily improvements in my spirital growth. I can take the time to be of service, to love my kids, to be a good wife, because there are no more self imposed deadlines. God and this program give me each day to live and with their help I can live it sober. I'm grateful to be sober today.
Member: Wouter
Location: Netherlands
Date: 8/6/00
Time: 8:59:22 AM
wouter here, from the netherlands. one of the gifts is that i can cry hot tears from relief thinking about the gifts i have recieved. my selfrespect for one, going to Italy to Toscany to be precise with a bus to ride around on a bike. In less then two weeks I'am on my way over there, learning new people and looking at all the art and beautiful landscapes. Writing this makes me cry, I love life again. I was a damned fool for so long, playing hide and seek with myself, but not allowing to find myself. When I started feeling better being sober I went out and bouhgt some weed or/and beer: got lost again.
Yes, one year and two weeks and a few days sober, no drinks no smokes ans no joints.
The money is one of the gifts and with that I can affort to go on a long vacation. Florence, Siena, Volterra, Arezzo. Can't hardly wait.
Don't give a f.. about the Cianti they produce overthere. Free. I'am free.
Thanks for this site, thanks to dutch AA.
Bye bye, hugs, be strong everybody !!!!
Member: Wouter
Location:
Date: 8/6/00
Time: 9:48:59 AM
Wouter again, sorry.
a lot of posts made me cry, so much recognition there, we are all the same, aren't we, humans.
this is one of them crying days i gess because i just can't stop. Put in a cd from good old Frank Zappa and there they are, more tears. "maybe you should stay with your mama"
Love my mother, she had to live with my papa, i also love him. He is the alcoholic, i can't help him or reach him, they are divorced, he used to be such a beautiful man, my mother is a holy person. My father to, but so sick. He thinks its great what i do, and so does my mom.
Sorry for this second somewhat emotional message, thanks for sharing anyway.
Love and hugs, be stong, eat your vitamines and do your excercises.
Member: Vilnis
Location: Latvia,Tukums
Date: 8/6/00
Time: 12:55:21 PM
I am free from alcohol and smoking! Ju-huuu!
Member: jebadiaha
Location: boothill cemm.
Date: 8/6/00
Time: 8:09:15 PM
vilnis-----no your not.....quit lieing to us. hurry,hurry, get back to a meeting,only AA will save you.your mind is playing tricks on you, you are just like the rest of us,nobody is free of this diesease.and as long as the usa keeps making money on alcohol,tobacco,and drugs there will always be AA to help pickup all the broken up people and homes and families.only your HP and AA can save you now, so run run run to a meeting now as if your life depended on it,and it does.bless the mess of us.