Member: Tomcat R
Location: hfx ns
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 6:51:22 PM
hi tomcat here,alcoholic. the topic I have chosen for this week is the importance of attending aa meetings regularly.I'm on my way to one at this moment have a great 24 catch your messages soon life,love,and laughter.
Member: Valerie M.
Location: Canada
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 6:57:48 PM
Hi, all! I'd like to hear opinions on how to deal with non-alcoholics when confronted about not drinking. Do you feel coming out and saying "I'm an alcoholic, I don't drink.", do you feel it's none of their business and just leave it at "no thanks". How comfortable are you at your stage in sobriety dealing with people who don't drink, asking you questions?
Member: Valerie M.
Location: Canada
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 7:16:24 PM
Tomcat has a good topic this week... my draw was a bit on teh slow side...:0)
Member: Jillane F
Location: Canada
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 8:56:44 PM
I am finding it hard to "live" adapt maybe a better word to all of my old aquaintances. I know that I am to rid myself of old baggage, but some of these people were friends before the alcohol.
Member: Bill R.
Location: WV
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 9:18:34 PM
Topic A--meeting attendance, I only go to the ones I need, however, I never know which ones I need until I get there and listen. Topic B--no reason to abandon true friends, however, some of my "truest" turned out to be co-miserators in my disease.
Member: Gabrielle J
Location: NJ
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 9:22:30 PM
Hi Gabrielle J. alcoholic, this is my first time sharing at this site, I am greatful for this site, and I read the posting concerning what to say to non-alcoholics when offered a drink. I just say no I don't drink, then I make sure I have a non-alcoholic drink in my hand so then they don't feel the need to ask. I only am around alcohol if I have a legitimate reason to be there, for work sometime we have cocktail receptions which I just go to a meeting beforehand, keep a number in my pocket in case I get the urge to drink and the more time I have the less difficult it has been, however I try and stay away from alcohol when I do not have a valid reason to be around it.
Member: davez
Location: berkleymi
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 9:53:32 PM
Just a quick thought... Non alcoholics usually don't notice if you drink or not. They just don't care. They're not like you and me. But for the record, I avoid any parties or get- togethers that will primarily be about drinking. I don't attend enough meetings to comment on the importance.
Member: Gage
Location: LA
Date: 6/23/2002
Time: 11:11:21 PM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. I think it is important not only for me to attend meetings regularly, but to be a real part of a group. I like the idea of a homegroup and I belong to one. i know some people who don't belong to a group and that's okay if they can hang with it. The reason I think it's important for me to have a regular group is because those people really know me. If I get lost, I believe someone in that group will come looking for me. Valerie, I concur with what Dave Z says. We're the ones who think drinking is important, not the normies.
Member: Maria C.
Location: Calif.
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 12:01:44 AM
I'm Maria and an alcoholic.I feel it is important to attend as many meetings as you feel necessary to stay in recovery, not what someone else feels you need to. I never understood about a homegroup until I found mine.I actually have two because I am in different locations throughout the week, both of which are womens meetings. Ladies if you have not found a womens meeting I urge you to do so.It is a pretty awesome experience to be in a room of people that connect in many ways.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 12:18:42 AM
HI Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. Good topic Tomcat and Valerie. I will discuss Tom's topic first and share on Valerie's about midweek. These are both important issues. For now Valerie, if I may give you some "homework" :) Please read in the Big Book from the bottom of page 100 "Assuming we are spiritually fit,...." to the end of the chapter, page 103. That will explain it better than I. I will share some amusing stories in my next post on dealing with non-drinkers. Now on the meetings... The first thing one of my earlier sponsors had me do was pick a Home Group. The Home Group is the heartbeat of AA. There is a Grapevine Publication on it. This was at least one of the meetings I attended on a regular basis. This became a very special meeting where my service work started at the Group level. I picked a couple more, again as suggested. To help me along, my sponsor had me pick a different meeting every Saturday night, which we attended together. This would not work very well in a rural or isolated area, but I got sober in the Denver Metro Area. At the time there was over 800 meetings a week. At the end of these Saturday night "specials"; we would take an hour or so over coffee or late breakfast and critique the meeting. What I liked about it. What I disliked about it. The purpose of this drill was to help me find plenty of AA meetings that I was comfortable in. It worked. :) Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Curtis L
Location: Goliad, Texas
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 8:43:20 AM
Hi folks. Great day to be sober. My real homegroup is where I got sober 17 years ago, but it's too far to attend regularly. I do still have the same sponsor as I had then, and he still attends that group. To add a little more area for discussion, what do you think about online groups as your homegroup? I currently spend a couple of hours or more per day reading posts and sharing with people at the Coffee Pot here on this website. I also do quite a lot of emailing here. In Goliad, we have one meeting a week and quite frequently, I'm the only one at the meeting that has worked the Steps. It'd be very difficult for me to embrace probationers as my home group, but I do go and try to carry the message to the best of my ability. Due to health problems, neither my wife (she has 16 years sober)nor I travel very comfortably. Therefore, our out of town meetings are few and far between. I do sponsor a fellow in a nearby town, and have frequent phone contact with him, but he's in his mid 70's and doesn't come to the Goliad meeting. My constant contact with long term soberity on line has been tremendously beneficial to me. Like Bill, I'll address the "what do you say to non-drinkers about you not drinking" later in the week. Love and hugs in the fellowship, Curtis
Member: Stan M
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 9:39:44 AM
Hi, I'm Stan and I'm a gratefully recovering alcoholic. First, let me say that I'm sure the vast majority will disagree with me on the topic of meetings, but here goes. I attend meetings regularly, but this is not, nor will it ever be, the heart of my recovery program. I love the fellowship of AA in the meetings, but in my early sobriety, I spent way too much time "spinning my wheels" due to the very mixed messages I was getting at meetings. Finally I found a sponsor who took me to a good Big Book meeting, a good 12x12 meeting, and informed me in no uncertain terms that the heart of the AA program was "in the Book." Once I started working the steps and doing the work as outlined at these meetings my program began to move forward, and I was no longer a miserable "dry" alcoholic. Unfortunately I never found that in "don't drink and go to meetings." In my experience, most of the meetings I attended were of the "I think that..." variety with little or no substance beyond the opinions of others as sick as I. It took quite a while to find meetings that actually adhered to the program as presented by our founders, but when I did, my life changed. Maybe it's just this area, but for me, you'll never be able to replace the Program of AA with the Fellowship of AA. They need to work together, and to do that the meetings need to be full of people who know how to work the program. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 10:02:39 AM
Hi: Mark C., alkie, here. I think that, especially in early sobriety, doing something for sobriety that takes effort and attention like attending a meeting or going to an online chat, or reading and replying to a mailing list as often as possilbe (every day for me, for the first 18 months) was really key. I don't think there is a magic number. I know sober people who never go to meetings. I know people who have 20+ years and go to a meeting every day. It looks to me like what works for these people is going to however many meetings they need or want. I don't go to meeings myself, at the moment, but I do read online quite a bit (here and www.unhooked.com). As for what I tell people who offer me a drink, I usually say, "Yes, please. I'll have a Coke." and leave it at that. If people ask, I say "I don't drink." If I feel particularly comformtable with them, I say, "I don't drink anymore." If I'm in the kind of place where there is drinking going on, it's probably a party or some social event of that sort. The last thing I want to do in that kind of setting is start boring people with the details of what ails me. I don't tell people that I'm an alcoholic, and I don't mention if my prostatitis is acting up either. Mark
Member: Anne M
Location: NY
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 10:28:05 AM
Hello all, good topics. I am finding meetings to be very helpful to me, but for more than just the drinking aspect. I have been very fortunate in that I rarely want to drink. However I am a fairly lonely person who is further isolated by working from home. I love the warmth in the rooms, and the process of striving for a better life not only sober but spiritually and by helping others is very appealing to me. I have yet to be to a meeting where I do not feel better leaving than I did when I walked in. As to on-line meetings such as this, I love them (except for all the fighting in the Coffee Pot!). If I can't get to a meeting, I find strength in reading others posts. As for non-alcoholics: I agree, noone cares if you drink or not unless they are obsessed themselves with drinking. I am very proud that I have stopped drinking, and I do not have a problem telling people that I no longer drink. I may or may not say that I in AA; I usually just say that I didn't like how I felt when I drank, so I stopped.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, OR
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 10:46:39 AM
“We meet regularly so the new comer can find us” (pg. 15). In attending meetings I am doing the very least and easiest form of service work. No matter if I share anything or not, my presence lets the new comer know that I believe in the power of our program. When I share I always try to express my gratitude and Joy in my new found High Power. I was taught to share my troubling personal issues with a closed mouth friend and not in the meeting forum. My home group is the men’s meeting QFB (Quit the F*’in Bitching), LOL. My disease wants me to isolate and be alone, so my mind can eventually make it a good idea to pick up again. At meetings I get to practice open mindedness and willingness. The chasm between me and “them” grows much smaller as I meet and get to know people from many walks of life. Finally In the Lord’s Pray we ask, “give us this day, our daily bread”. I find a real sense of accomplishment and communion with God when I go to meetings. New comers, please keep coming back, this will make more sense as your sanity returns.
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 10:59:51 AM
Thanks, Tomcat & Valerie, for some great topics. F2F meetings are VERY important to me. To go to regular meetings means letting other folks in and letting them get to know me. When drinking, I got to be a very agile con artist, never letting any one person or group of people see ALL of me - both good and bad. I spun tales, always to my advantage as to how life was going. And I bought into it. Going to f2f meetings regularly is about accountability. It's about listening to other people share how they work the steps to cope with life on life's terms. It's the *WE* of the program I was always missing when I tried to work it on my own. As for folks who ask why I don't drink, WHEN they ask (as several have pointed out, most normies don't care), I simply say either, "I'm allergic to the stuff" or, if I know them better, "I did enough drinking when I was younger to last a lifetime." Thanks for letting me share....
Member: Scott R
Location: Nova Scotia
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 12:23:24 PM
Hi I'm Scott and I'm alcoholic. I like both topics...very fitting. As far as the importance of going to meeting...I can't think of anything more important. My first meeting planted a seed and drinking was never the same. When I finally hit bottom and got a home group and the "full meal deal" meetings took on a new importance. They not only kept planting seeds in my mind, the seeds grew and kept me growing. As far as what to tell people...last weekend I was sailing and was asked if I wanted a beer - after saying no the question was you don't drink much or not at all? After telling my friend I don't drink at all she said I was a very rare person! I always wanted to be special! Usually I say I'm allergic or I'm driving it really depends on the when where and who of the situation. The important thing is that I don't take that first drink. I don't think on-line meetings are missing the human factor to be a sufficient home group, that's just my opinion because I need to function with people and on-line is a bit isolating. Thanks.
Member: Melissa R
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 12:23:26 PM
Valerie and Tomcat, good questions. I personally tell people that I'm alcoholic, usually they say 'good for you" after I tell them I'm working with AA. I have only found negative responses from those still sick and suffering. They think AA is the antichrist. They usually end up tripping over themselves to get away from me. Little do they know I just planted a seed in their minds............... I love going to meetings, I have shared so much about myself. And that's what needs to be done, lest I pick up again. I need f2f, so they can see me express my emotions and offer their best ES&H for me. Nothing beats a hug and the honest concern for each other. Thanks for letting me share
Member: Kamil S.
Location: Camp Pendleton, CA
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 2:57:04 PM
Hi, Kamil...alchoholic I just want to say that I do like attending meetings on occasion. I am a bit shy, yet outgoing if that makes any sense. Sometimes going to meetings makes me extremely uncomfortable and I get a little anxious...I feel more at ease when meeting on-line, even though I only use it as a supplement.
Member: Bruce N
Location: Houston
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 4:44:34 PM
Bruce here..an alcoholic....If I'm asked if I would like a drink or want to go out for a drink I simpliy say that I no longer am a drinker. If they ask me why I quit I tell them I got tired of waking up on the hood of my car doing 90. God Bless and have a great day!
Member: cher
Location: Maine
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 5:29:13 PM
Meetings are important to me because when I don't go, my attitude starts to suck. I tend to isolate and hide from life. I nee d to be at meetings to see and help newcomers and to share whatever HP brings out of me. I had a man stop by last night. He wants to take me "out" next week (like on a friggin' date). He is so boring and uncomfortable to be around...all he does is stare at me and makes me do all the talking. He has no friends that I know of and no hobbies. He doesn't drink so AA can't help him much. He just works for my mechanic and goes home and sleeps. What a boring life that must be! I am so glad today that I am an alcoholic and that I need to go to meetings in order to have a happy sober life. I used to be so loneyl...not anymore. (I don't want to go out with this guy...I would rather clean my bathroom.) eeeek
Member: john c
Location: uk
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 5:48:04 PM
I think there is good evidence to show that regular attendance at meetings helps to maintain long term sobriety.That doesn't mean that we can't do it without meetings,especially after a good length of sobriety, but our chances are better.I for one still enjoy and learn from meetings(well most!)and why take the risk? With regard to friends/colleagues I just don't drink.No need to say anything about my illness, they probably wouldn't be interested
Member: John H.
Location: In. USA
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 6:08:12 PM
John, an alcoholic visiting with this web home group. As to the importance of meetings--very important! When I first went to one I found it important to attend several different groups.From that one can better decide which group is more comfortable to become a home group-- a home group being very important as a source of finding a sponsor--another important selection. Numbers are important, but quality of one's reaction to a meeting, giving and receiving is more than numbers of meetings. When I first went to meetings it was because there was no other choice if I wanted to stop drinking. For over 15 years the program's direction and guidance has made going to a meeting the most important place for me to be in order to find and realize serenity,peace of mind and an ever source of heathy fellowship. As to turning down a drink of alcohol.One need not go into detail, excuses, explanations nor apologies. Just say, no thanks, but I'll have a cola, tea, or coffee if you please. Have a great summer, you all, but don't pick up the first drink!
Member: Linda J
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 6:35:17 PM
Hi, Linda from Mn...meetings are very important..and without them I don't know that I would still be sober today. HOWEVER...I went through a period where my meetings were a way for me to escape "living life"...now my meetings are not as often, and I seen to get so much more out of them. I can enjoy sobriety and life at the same time...Keep on Keepin' On!
Member: JohnP
Location: Arizona
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 6:41:25 PM
Hi John here just getting started with trying to stay sober I think that that going to meetings regularly would be a good idea for me I went to a meeting about 2 years ago and another meeting about 1 year ago but I dont think that I really wanted to quit because I drank after both of those meetings but now I want to quit more than anything so I think I'll take your advise and attend meetings on a regular basis and get a sponsor this time thanks for letting me read all of your comments they were inspirational.
Member: richard m
Location: sarasota , florida
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 6:44:02 PM
hello , my name is richard ... i am an alcoholic....my sobriety date..dec.28, 1985.... one day at a time........meetings ...i always remember my first aa meeting. from there i have gone on , without drinking to a new way of life.... i am in the process of leaving this street address to ?...?no drinking however...i did have an o'dools today.i do not gargle with listerene...26% alcohol........so i do not see it as a problem.... just alot of effort packing.i am totaly disabled so it is even slower than normal... i still go to a meeting each day.so far..and to my church each day.... i like this meeting as well....if yyyou care to email me ....rjpmoody@webtv.net.....i am so in love with god ...he really takes care of me when i let go and let him.....love , peace and happiness to each...!!!!
Member: Michelle A.
Location: Dallas, TX
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 7:11:54 PM
Hi all. I'm Michelle and alcoholic. I find that attending meetings on a regular basis is a necessity to maintain my sobriety. I have 8 months sober and am currently livings with friends in the program because of my financial situtation which got out of control with my addiction. For me regular meetings help remind me where I came from and could easily end up again if I don't follow the five basics. It is also important to be there for the newcomer that comes through the door because there was someone there for me. It also reminds me of how I was when I first came into the program; sick, afraid, alone and without hope for a better tomorrow. I truly had no where else to turn and AA was the last house on the block for me. I am concerned that if I don't do as instructed now, I won't when I move out from my support group here at home and this allows me another day of insurance of staying clean and sober. In regards to dealing with non-alcoholics, I simply tell them I don't drink. The only person who is going to make the biggest deal out of it is me so I try to keep it firm and simple and go one about my business. There are times when I want to go hang out with old friends or those old places but my sponsor reminds me that if I don't have a legitimate reason to be there, then I shouldn't, therefore I don't. For me it is important to follow direction given to me because my life was unmanageable and undisciplined and today I accept the fact that I need direction and am truly grateful that I have it today. Good luck to all and God bless.
Member: Ron K.
Location: Nova Scotia
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 7:55:05 PM
Hi, my name is Ron, and I'm an alcoholic. The importance of going to AA meetings regularly. For myself, when I first sobered up, it was to learn some tools on how to stay sober, one day at a time. I don't remember all that much about those first meetings, except that I had told myself that this time I would honestly listen to what was suggested. Get a home group, get a sponser, get my ass to meetings. Gradually my life started to get some sanity back, because of these suggestions. Today it is just as important for this alcoholic to go to meetings to see that the disease of alcoholism has not changed, just because I am sober today. Seeing the newcomer, seeing the members coming back after a slip, help to keep me sober. I would not see this, if I didn't attend meetings. I am quite sure that if I stopped going to meetings , that I would drink again. If it works, don't fix it. What I find about people offering alcohol to me, is that anyone who knew me as a practicing alcoholic, does not offer it.True friends know that I am far better off without it. Usually it is the ones that have a problem with alcohol themselves that are the most preoccupied with us not drinking. All we can do for those people is set an example, and show that we can be happy and have a good time without alcohol, thanks to AA. Thank you for letting me share. Wish you all another sober 24 and keep one for myself.
Member: Mark K
Location: Florida
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 8:02:55 PM
Hi Mark Here,I have to say I was attending some local meeting,I was told by the courts system that i had to do this.i was going to the meeting, and some were good but most of them seemed, more like people bitching about how life has delt them this bad hand,nothing against any body there because it least they have a place to go,but I was dreding having to go.I have learned more about AA the last 2 times and read some great comments .I look forward to geting on line and atending this meeting every day .This website is making it easy for me to atend meeting regular....Thanks ..Mark
Member: Patty B.
Location: Weeki Wachee, Fl
Date: 6/24/2002
Time: 10:16:14 PM
Hi folks. This is my first time posting to an online AA meeting. I think meetings are crucial. They are my medicine, my adjustment time, my connection time, my time to listen to others instead of my crazy monkey mind. And it is important to have a home group and regular meetings where I see the same people. I need stability in my life and seeing people each week offers that. I also like to "mix it up"--women's meetings, newcomers meetings, longtimers meetings so I see all kinds of alcoholics in all stages of sobriety. I never know who is goin gto offer me the pearl of wisdom I really need to hear. On whether to tell people I do not drink, I tell then whatever i feel like. Usually I do not announce that I am an alcoholic but sometimes I do explain why I do not drink. The good news for Valerie is the longer you are sober, the less it matters what others think about your not drinking. I am committed to AA and sobriety so that not drinking has become normal and drinking is not interesting to me. If I am at a party or occasion with alcohol, I know it is there but I otherwise do not spend much time thinking about it. And that is the freedom of sobriety!!! I used to think about nothing else.
Member: Gordon. N
Location: Moosonee
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 1:32:09 AM
Hi my name is Gordon, and I'm an alcoholic. Just wanted to put in my two cents on the importance of meetings. I think it is very important for members to meet on a regular basis to share our experiences with one another to build that good life we all deserve by learning through each of our stories, be it for newcomers or the seasoned vets. As for my experiences with meetings, I just began going to meetings in Oct. 2001, I thought I could do it on my own and I did but I was lacking a higher power, so I was that angry drunk with no real path to follow. I am grateful today that I have that higher power back after 21 years of not believing. AS for dealing with non-alcoholics who offer me drinks, I simply say "hello" where have you been for the past three and a half years, and laugh and tell them I don't drink anymore. And just to add, whatever anyone says to us alcoholics be it good or bad should not affect us as we know what is true or not. REMEMBER- to do it for yourself and not anyone else. When they/others are ready they will seek us for what we can offer. Thanks for letting me share and have a good 24, God bless you all. P.S - And if you have time analyze the serenity prayer, it so true.
Member: JELLY B
Location: USA
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 2:19:51 AM
THEY TOLD ME: "IF YOU DON'T GO TO MEETINGS YOU WON'T FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENS TO THOSE WHO DON'T GO TO MEETINGS"
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 2:38:16 AM
HI, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. I hear an expression tossed around that I don't consider a good message. Meeting makers make it. This is not necessarily true. I have enjoyed continous sobriety since November 23rd 1987, and have seen individuals who attend meetings daily go back out and drink. Something was missing. To me the only sure guarantee I have to stay sober today is to turn my greatest will, the will to drink over to God and no matter what don't take it back, and practice these principles in all my affairs. I attend meetings to hear how people stay sober thru adversity. The one's that I listen to are the people who go thru adversity and talk about how they handled it thru faith in GOD and our 12 step program. Meetings help me to remember that I am an alcoholic, they won't keep me sober. I need God and the steps on a daily basis to stay sober.In the beginning the more meetings you make the better, but once you develop a relationship with a power greater than yourself and immerse yourself in the steps, the better your quality of life becomes. My former sponsor once told me that A A is not designed to make you a prisoner to the rooms, but to return you to society as a useful, functioning member who just does not pick up a drink one day at a time. I am sober today thru the amazing Grace of God and our 12 step program. Will I ever drink again? I have no idea, but I know for a fact that I will not drink today, and thats all I can ask for. Today thru the Grace of God and our 12 step program, I have everything I need and most everything I want, and for that I am truly grateful. Thanks for allowing me to share on a great topic.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 2:38:59 AM
HI, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. I hear an expression tossed around that I don't consider a good message. Meeting makers make it. This is not necessarily true. I have enjoyed continous sobriety since November 23rd 1987, and have seen individuals who attend meetings daily go back out and drink. Something was missing. To me the only sure guarantee I have to stay sober today is to turn my greatest will, the will to drink over to God and no matter what don't take it back, and practice these principles in all my affairs. I attend meetings to hear how people stay sober thru adversity. The one's that I listen to are the people who go thru adversity and talk about how they handled it thru faith in GOD and our 12 step program. Meetings help me to remember that I am an alcoholic, they won't keep me sober. I need God and the steps on a daily basis to stay sober.In the beginning the more meetings you make the better, but once you develop a relationship with a power greater than yourself and immerse yourself in the steps, the better your quality of life becomes. My former sponsor once told me that A A is not designed to make you a prisoner to the rooms, but to return you to society as a useful, functioning member who just does not pick up a drink one day at a time. I am sober today thru the amazing Grace of God and our 12 step program. Will I ever drink again? I have no idea, but I know for a fact that I will not drink today, and thats all I can ask for. Today thru the Grace of God and our 12 step program, I have everything I need and most everything I want, and for that I am truly grateful. Thanks for allowing me to share on a great topic.
Member: Ric C
Location: East Coast, baby!
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 3:14:02 AM
Hi, Ric, Alcoholic. I went to meetings once a week when I first stopped drinking and think it helped a lot. I went online quite a bit (here) too. (I've only been sober for about 10 months - since August 12th). Basically I had to go to the face to face AA meetings for court but I really thought they were inconvenient so after my obligation was done I stopped. I dropped off on checking this site out, too. Then I realized that I was thinking more often about drinking and whether or not I could handle it this time. That excites something inside me (briefly until I realize what's happening!) and I know that I cannot drink like a non-alcoholic so it would be foolish to try (again). So I've picked up on the online meetings and I think it is helping but I know I think I should get to more face to face meetings because I remember "feeling" different after going to a meeting. Maybe there's some relationship to face to face meetings and how you respond when faced with "Care for a drink?" challenge. Sitting at a meeting with others and sharing something personal is an emotional experience and it made me feel committed to not drinking, if that makes sense. Incidently, I think reading others posts online provides a little more rational advice, though. Maybe because typing (and revising, and revising, and...) allows you to form your thoughts better and there is no "speaking in public" pressure to suffocate your mind. Anyway, I think that the feeling you get sharing in a face to face meeting kinda is like the feeling you get when you're telling someone you don't drink. There is the emotional feeling (a speaking in public feeling?) definately, but there's also a commitment: "Thanks, but I don't drink." The looks you get when you speak those words range from one end of the spectrum to the other, and can be considerably less supportive than those looks you get in a meeting. So maybe face to face meetings can prepare you for the pressure your bound to face in public gatherings where alcohol is involved. At any rate, meetings are helpful and probably crucial. And I think that I should combine them both and make face to face more often. And there is a less selfish reason that was metnioned earlier that I should remember. Going to meetings regularly means that others alcoholics will have a place to go to find help and hope. Anyway, thanks for letting me share and thank all of you for sharing.
Member: Ric
Location:
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 3:19:30 AM
I'd just like to ad that my post was in no way related to Jack's in front of me - I actually didn't see his until mine was posted. And now the East Coast thing looks even more contrary! Sorry, and I really agree with what Jack is saying!
Member: Jack H.
Location: Orlando
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 9:38:49 AM
HI, my name is Jack and I'll always be an alcoholic. I have a built in forgetter which tries to tell me it wasn't all that bad. Then, in meetings I get to see the newcomers who remind me what it was really like. By the grace of God I've been free and sober for over 22 years now. If I'm feeling good about myself and the world around me, I am attending enough meetings. When things bother me, I make more meetings so that I can feel good again. On the other topic -- The only people who seem to care if I have a drink seem to be worried that I might take some of theirs.
Member: Jennifer
Location: Louisiana
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 12:17:11 PM
Hi, I'm Jennifer, an alcoholic. When I first came in the program I was told to make 90 meetings in 90 days, I think I made 90 in the first 30 days. I knew NOTHING about the program and got sooo much good info, I couldn't wait to go to the next one. I also used the program as a dating service, and meetings were my social life. A little time has passed, my kids are back home, I have a full time job, and a life. Now I really have to make an effort to get to a meeting, and I'm a LOT more particular about what meetings I go to. the social ones are a waste of time for me now, I want RECOVERY. I've had to really cut back on the # of meetings I go to, and I can tell a difference. I'm still trying to find a way to get all the parts of my life to balance, my recovery comes absolutely first, without it I don't have anything else. As far as what I say when offered a drink, I just say "No Thanks". I'm very open about being an alcoholic, I had some concerns at first about what to say and my sponsor said that people don't really hear anything after "NO", anyway. As a matter of fact, her husband used to say "No thanks, I just ate a bar of soap", and never got a reaction. Thanks so much for being here, this online meeting really helps me. Love y'all!
Member: Jennifer
Location: Louisiana
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 12:17:26 PM
Hi, I'm Jennifer, an alcoholic. When I first came in the program I was told to make 90 meetings in 90 days, I think I made 90 in the first 30 days. I knew NOTHING about the program and got sooo much good info, I couldn't wait to go to the next one. I also used the program as a dating service, and meetings were my social life. A little time has passed, my kids are back home, I have a full time job, and a life. Now I really have to make an effort to get to a meeting, and I'm a LOT more particular about what meetings I go to. the social ones are a waste of time for me now, I want RECOVERY. I've had to really cut back on the # of meetings I go to, and I can tell a difference. I'm still trying to find a way to get all the parts of my life to balance, my recovery comes absolutely first, without it I don't have anything else. As far as what I say when offered a drink, I just say "No Thanks". I'm very open about being an alcoholic, I had some concerns at first about what to say and my sponsor said that people don't really hear anything after "NO", anyway. As a matter of fact, her husband used to say "No thanks, I just ate a bar of soap", and never got a reaction. Thanks so much for being here, this online meeting really helps me. Love y'all!
Member: Jennifer
Location: Louisiana
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 12:17:38 PM
Hi, I'm Jennifer, an alcoholic. When I first came in the program I was told to make 90 meetings in 90 days, I think I made 90 in the first 30 days. I knew NOTHING about the program and got sooo much good info, I couldn't wait to go to the next one. I also used the program as a dating service, and meetings were my social life. A little time has passed, my kids are back home, I have a full time job, and a life. Now I really have to make an effort to get to a meeting, and I'm a LOT more particular about what meetings I go to. the social ones are a waste of time for me now, I want RECOVERY. I've had to really cut back on the # of meetings I go to, and I can tell a difference. I'm still trying to find a way to get all the parts of my life to balance, my recovery comes absolutely first, without it I don't have anything else. As far as what I say when offered a drink, I just say "No Thanks". I'm very open about being an alcoholic, I had some concerns at first about what to say and my sponsor said that people don't really hear anything after "NO", anyway. As a matter of fact, her husband used to say "No thanks, I just ate a bar of soap", and never got a reaction. Thanks so much for being here, this online meeting really helps me. Love y'all!
Member: John B
Location: Kentucky
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 3:26:14 PM
Hi, John alcoholic. As for going to meetings, I've been going to a meeting a day for over 16 years and hope to continue this for the rest of my life (a day at a time). I used to look forward to the day when I could cut back on AA and do "more important things." Early in sobriety I would only go to 2 or 3 meetings a week -- too busy even though I had no job and wasn't in school. My sponsor suggested going to a meeting a day. I saw him at a meeting a few days later and said proudly "Hey, I've already been to five meetings this week." He replied "Uh-oh, you better be careful going to all those meetings; you may start feeling better." As for the other topic, I find a simple "No thanks" does it for me 99% of the time, too.I've found no one is interested or cares for a long winded explanation. An old-timer I like says you can tell how long someone has been sober by how long there explanations to things are. The longer the explanation, the less sobriety, i.e., "well, you see the reason for that is that...versus a simple yes or no. On that very rare occasion when I am pressed, I'll say I'm a recovering alcoholic, but I can only remember once in 16 years where this happened. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Paul G.
Location: Hinsdale, IL
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 4:18:40 PM
My name is Paul and I'm just barely an alcoholic. I've reached a point in my recovery where I only need one meeting a week, b ut I go to seven because I'm never sure which one is the one I'll need! As for addressing the normies about my alcoholism, I just tell them. "No thanks. I've had enough already." or, "No thanks. I've scanned the supply and there isn't enough here for me and you too." Have some fun in your recovery! I was bummed out for the better part of my life. Today I'm HAPPY, joyous and free!! One Day at a Time, Paul G.
Member: Joe P.
Location: Chicago
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 4:24:21 PM
I’m Joe, and I’m an alcoholic. For me, meetings are extremely important. One of my favorite sayings is “Don’t drink and go to meetings.” Stan M. makes a great point, though. Just attending meetings may not be enough. I believe that the “heart” of AA is the Twelve Steps, and the original instructions for the steps can be found in the Big Book. After all, Step 12 starts, “Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps,” not as a result of attending meetings. But Step 12 also states, “we tried to carry this message to alcoholics”. We carry this message to each other at meetings. I attend two men’s step meetings, another step meeting, and a beginner’s meeting (Steps 1, 2, and 3) weekly, where I hear others’ experiences working the steps and share my own experience. Azbill already referenced the Big Book passage related to Valerie’s topic. When I am offered an alcoholic beverage, I usually respond “no thanks”, sometimes adding “I don’t drink”. I find that no more explanation is needed in most cases. I don’t shy away from functions that include drinking for the most part, unless the event is something focussed almost exclusively around alcohol. But I don’t seem to get invited to any “go out and get drunk” parties since coming to AA. I’ve noticed since coming to AA that a lot people who I thought were heavy drinkers now don’t drink as much as I thought they did. Funny how these things work. Thanks for the sharing.
Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 6:17:17 PM
Hi all, Bonny, grateful recovering alcoholic. I love the posts that are out here already this week, I enjoy the on-line meeting at this site, but like most others here, I need the face to face AA meetings that taught me "HOW to live with me, SOBER." (And I'm still learning.) There's no need to worry about "friends" who want to offer you a drink at functions, once you become active in your own sobriety, those folks disappear. You'll take an active interest in AA functions and enjoy yourself so much at the coffee pot, no one will offer you anything except a refill.
Member: Carrie K.
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 8:35:55 PM
Carrie, alcoholic. Attending meetings is important. I have found that each time I attend a meeting, I hear something that I relate to, or I see or hear something that I had "forgotten" about or had not paid attention to. Make sense? I always feel better no matter how I feel, once I leave a meeting. I am ever so thankful to those who have been there for me over the years, sharing their experience, strength and hope at each and every meeting. Without you there, I am unable to do this alone. Thank you all for being there for me today.
Member: Ralph K
Location: Lexington, Michigan
Date: 6/25/2002
Time: 10:20:43 PM
I am Ralph K and I am chemically challenged. I just finished the "90 in 90" and I actually did 113 meetings in 90 consecutive days. Just like the typical drunk-everything to excess. Now I know this 90-90 stuff is not found in the big book-it seems to be a treatment thing. But I also know that after 9 years of sobriety and thinking I did not need meetings any more I had a big nasty 6 year slip. So I don't even question the importance of meetings. I just go every chance I get-which is almost every day.
Member: Nells W
Location: Wellington New Zealand
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 12:18:08 AM
Hi Nells, very grateful recovering alcoholic. I personally aim for three meetings aweek and have done scince first attending A.A 18 months ago.I always hear things I need to in the meetings.And I know that without my regular meeting I would probably drink again. I feel that if I stopped my meetings then it would only be a matter of time before reading the big book, daily reflections ,ringing my sponser and praying stopped as well.From my past experience of slipping all of these things are equally important to my sobriety. A.A is my lifeline and without A.A I wouldn't have much of a life.I attend my meetings no matter what else is happening in my life it has to be my top priority afterall I always got to the bottlestore/pub no matter what!!Bye for now. Thankx for reading.And keep coming back.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 4:26:59 AM
Hi! My name is michael and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the fellowship. Thanks for the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers! Regarding Valerie's topic, it's up to the individual AA and, I believe, the context of the situation as to whether or not we should disclose that we are alcoholics to questioning non-alcoholics. For example, generally speaking, I don't tell total strangers that I'm an alcoholic, simply because it's none of their business. On the other hand, I might admit my alcoholism to someone that I've known for some time through work or other regular social activity, especially if I feel it could be of some benefit. Of course, these are only my opinions. Each AA is free to establish general guidelines they feel comfortable about, with regard to admitting they are alcoholics to others.
Member: rebecca
Location: Fl.
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 3:29:36 PM
Hi! I'm Rebecca-another recovering alcoholic. Great messages and ones I need to keep hearing over and over. I am one sick puppy. I have been slacking on meetings for six months now- even before that I was only attending one per week. On top of this, I lost my sponser early on (I think she saw I was as committed as I was saying I was) and haven't had one since. I've been in this cycle for two years. I picked up a chip, but didn't feel like I deserved it. Obviously, you can see I was headed for trouble I am going through a new awareness of how important meetings are and am currently attending one to two per day. I want to completely turn over. I never made it all the way through the steps and have been living whiteknuckled daily. I used to think that meant had to have a drink. To me, it means continuing to live with the old behaviors. I have not been freee and I have not been happy. My relationship skills with others still stink- I'm hurting them and seriously hurting me. Right now I am totally humbled. I just know I can't do this MY way. I "balked" when people who had a lot of sobriety told me how often they attend. I didn't want to make AA a life time, but I don't have a happy life now! It's okay if I wanted to live by myself, but I am so lonely and emotionally charged that I know I am still not really well. I NEED meetings now more than ever. I am going to different meetings than I did before to keep lokling for good stuff and to extend myself. I was too lazy to do that before. I think I thought, "Well, I did the hard part, I got myself into the rooms. The rest HAS to be easier." I am looking for a sponser and feeling scared and shy, but I will put myself out there on the line. I could use all the support I can get! I am at r.prozzo@verizon.com
Member: trish
Location: ind
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 9:05:19 PM
going to meetings is suppose to be a good thing.but you do need to find the ones that make you comoratable in my counties and towns around me there is one and only one open meeting and thats only once week . the rest are all closed and those arent for me i dont live in a small town and lots of towns around me so what ever happened to closed meetings .
Member: Lee P.
Location: trout country
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 10:16:26 PM
Almost without exception, the folks I see at meetings report that if they don't go as often as they "should". they start slipping back into old ways of thinking and old behaviors. My thinking is that I medicated (drank) because I could not handle life otherwise. Now that I don't drink, I have to take my new medicine which is going to meetings regularly. If I don't, I am simply a drink waiting to happen..
Member: Tysha
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 10:21:24 PM
Hey, I'm Ty and a lush & pill popper. Although I keep falling off the wagon ( only 3 weeks sobriety) I don't let it get me down and I get back up and do it again, because I know I have to do it and I can do it. If someone were to offer me a drink, I'd say I don't drink, but at this stage in my recovery, I would try not to get myself in that situation. This is my first on-line meeting - it's hard for me to get to meetings because I can't drive (DUI)but I try to do 3 a week. I would love to talk to anyone - I have lots of problems besides the given, depression, etc. I wake up everyday and thank God, but still am sad - Long story that we've all been there. I'm at my bottom, unable to find a job, because of lack of car. Would love to hear from anyone. Thanks for listening and God bless for this program. Ty Tyn1on@msn.com
Member: Kelley V
Location: Colorado
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 11:38:33 PM
i am Kelley and I am an addict/alcoholic and I need help right now.
Member: esteban a
Location: colorado
Date: 6/26/2002
Time: 11:41:20 PM
hi - i find it hard not to drink but have not done so since april 1 2002 - i did not hit my bottom but what might have been the bottom for others - in 2000 i drove drunk and crashed into another car - fortunately no one was inujured to the point where they required long-term hospitalization (one night of observation) - anyway - i think meetings help me not drink - because of my schedule i have resorted to this (and other online methods, i.e., chats) to attend as many meetings as possible - right now i physically attend twice a week but not all meetings feel "right" - because i am busy working and getting to a meeting seems like a chore or my mind does not stop thinking about work
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 12:40:33 AM
Hi everyone. Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. I would like to address the second topic. Mainly because it is very important. First I would highly recommend reading page 101 in "Alcoholics Anonymous" all the way to the end of the chapter. First there is an ominous warning in there. Tells us that any program of combating alcoholism which proposes to shield the alcoholic from temptation is doomed to failure. We, as alcoholics must learn to live in a society where drinking is acceptable. Tell us that these methods have been tried and have always failed. I don't hang out in bars anymore, but I do not go to them all that often. And, I do not go to the same type of bars as I used to when I was drinking. Some of my older friends know I am an alcoholic; my newer ones do not. I never mention it one way or another unless I feel I can help someone. Then I may say that I had a problem with alcohol once and got it taken care of. The truth is that we do not even have to tell anyone that we are alcoholic. That means at meetings as well. Even the closed meetings and especially open ones. I have a lot of fun with my anonymity. Sometimes if it is noted that am not drinking, I may say that I am allergic to alcohol. I break out in spots. Places like jails, hospitals, strange women's bedrooms. That gets a giggle. When I am asked if I care for a drink from the bar at a restaurant, I may say that I care for several drinks from the bar, but I have to be in Denver in six weeks. Now that will get a perplexed look from a waitress or waiter. Some times it takes a minute ot two. Then it is funny to see the "light bulb" come on. :). Or I may just say, "No thanks, I have had enough." Just this past New Years, I and my "normie" date went to a night club for a prime rib buffet and a magic show. Just before the ball dropped they pasted out splits of champagne. After a moment I felt a nudge at my elbow. I looked down that the waitress passed me an unopened can of 7 up. I took it, she gave me a sly wink and walked off. LOL. But on the serious side. Go if you want to But if you are the least bit uncomfortable do not. Take precautions. Maybe have another alcoholic with you. I used to have to make continuing education meetings. There were cash bars. Wine and cheese parties to meet others. I had one hard and fast rule when these occasions arose. I drove my own car. I never rode with anyone nor did I take anyone. In spite of my time in sobriety and my comfort with living in a drinking society, I always had a safety valve. ALWAYS. I could leave at any point and would if I became the least bit uncomfortable. Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Jeff T.
Location: Nebraska
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 1:09:34 AM
I`m Jeff an alcoholic. I have not been to a AA meeting since probably some time in january of this year. I hate to say that i cant recall the exact date. For the newcomer: dont do as i do, go when and were ever you can as many as you can, as often as you can, "please". You can & will get help there, the meeting you go to my just save you life. I have not taken a drink since 3/10/89 & i dont want too, ever. By that time i was done i was licked, alcohol beat me, no friend`s, no family, no wife, i was`nt even looking for the good things in life, just booze thats all that counted. I could`nt control when or how much or how often i drank i just drank. There are at least 4 meetings a day in my home town, i honestly can`t tell you why i don`t go to meetings anymore. I don`t have any resentments or ill feelings about any AA member any where, love you all. You saved my life. When asked if i want a drink i ask them how much time they have. I will explain why i dont drink if they care to listen. Maybe they will need help some day. I still read the daily reflections every morning & meditate, & talk to my higher power at nite. I come here at least twice a week whether i post or not. What a bunch! This cyber AA is neat, what a big meeting this would be if all were in a room at the same time, for some it would be a long drive home. LOL Thanks for being here for me.
Member: Robert K,
Location: Chattanooga Tn.
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 1:57:22 AM
A wise old timer told me that if I start drinking again I'm not going to enough meetings. Teeter76@bellsouth.net
Member: redfox h
Location: Minn.
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 2:59:21 AM
to Jack B. Palo Alto Penn: How do you think those sayings got to be old sayings??? DUUUUUUHHH Have you ever heard of going to meetings to give something rather than get???????????? There is an old saying for your opinions blah blah blah thank you for sharing goes to show anyone can stay sober
Member: Robert F.
Location: Taiwan
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 3:44:46 AM
Hi, I'm Robert, alcoholic. I live in a part of the world where, until two weeks ago, there were no live meetings. I wasn't getting to any online meetings, either, and I found myself slipping back into those "old ways of thinking and old behaviors". I've heard it said that if you're not happy in your sobriety you will drink again.I knew I didn't want to do that, so I got down on my knees and asked my Higher Power for help, then made a renewed commitment to go through the steps again with my online sponsor. Two weeks ago, through the grace of God,three of us got together and started a meeting here in southern Taiwan. For me, getting there and back is a three-hour round trip, a bit of a time commitment. In my drinking days, though, I would have gladly made the journey for alcohol, so I guess I can do as much for my sobriety. And it's great to be part of a live meeting again, a home group. Meetings are an important part of the program. Hope you're all having a good week, thanks for sharing and thanks for letting me share. P.S. When offered a drink, I just say "No, thank you." If pressed, "I don't drink." If asked "Why not?" I reply, "Because my doctor told me not to." (true)
Member: Dean W
Location: Indiana
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 10:13:08 AM
Hi, I'm Dean, alcoholic. On the topic of meetings I think the frequency has a lot to do with length of sobriety or maybe more accurately it has to do with stage of recovery. For newcomers I believe what one of my sponsors told me when he said, "Go to 90 meetings in 90 days, and if you're not satisfied we'll gladly refund your misery." As I continued to stay sober I became more involved in life outside AA and gradually reduced my meeting attendance. I think this is a normal pattern as described in the chapter "The Family Afterward" in the Big Book. In fact, I believe that us sober alkys can hide in AA instead of facing our responsibilities to society at large. I have also found that membership in a home group is absolutely essential to my sobriety. For me the home group is the basic working unit of this fellowship. I need the discipline of regular attendance at my home group. It has also been a great experience as I've interacted with other sober alcoholics over a period of years and we have helped one another through life's various trials and triumphs. And perhaps most importantly I believe the home group is the basic vehicle for carrying the message of AA to the alcoholic who still suffers. I NEED MY HOME GROUP! Thanks for reading and have a great day.
Member: Bobby G.
Location: Memphis, TN
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 4:53:32 PM
I'm Bobby and am an alcoholic, (DOS 8/28/74) To Tomat's topic, I attend meetings daily for two reasons: (1) it keeps me sober and (2) I share my strength, hope and experiences with others. On Valerie's topic- I am rarely around active drinking any more. On the occasions where I have a legitimate reason for being around it, I make sure I have my own transportation available and can leave whenever I chose. Drunks seem to get boring much quicker the longer I am sober. When someone asks why I am not drinking I just say I don't drink today. If they persist they always turn out to have a problem themselves.
Member: Deanna S.
Location: Oregon
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 9:54:51 PM
I'm Deanna, alchoholic. Funny that this topic is on meeting attendance. The reason I got on this web site is I'm sick today and couldn't make the meeting I had planned. Meetings are very important, but also,having an active relationship with a higher power, reading the literature,doing the steps and talking to other alcoholics is essential for me. I used to be able to attend several meetings a week. The idea of doing less than 4 was an invitation to insanity for me early on. Now I have 2 small kids and my meeting attendance has been greatly reduced. My husband also needs to go to meetings --so it's a tradeoff. My kids are too active to bring to meetings. Anyways, it has been tough, but I have managed to stay sober, after attending 1or 2 meetings a week for about a year. Amazing. I would prefer to attend more meetings, but it hasn't worked out. I meet with my sponsor, and have been doing a short written 10th step nightly. That has saved my butt, and really improved my attitude. I am able to be accountable and aware of my behavior instead of continuing in the same mindset day in and day out. I write down assets as well as defects. There are negative and positive traits in all of us. I need to focus on both of them, inorder to achieve balance and have awareness on what I want to keep or change. If I just focused on what I was doing "wrong" all of the time, that would put me in a "I suck" or "F--- it" mindset. I need to look at everything. For those of you who cannot make enough meetings, do not beat yourself up. Do what you can, you are in charge of your own recovery. You can stay sober and attend few meetings, if you do outside work. Granted, i have some time here, (which doesn't equate with being exempt from meeting attendance,and--this may not work for all), but I still recommend newcomers to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. It gives you a good beginning foundation in the program. Thanks for letting me ramble a bit to long:-)
Member: Deanna S.
Location: Oregon
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 9:55:49 PM
I'm Deanna, alchoholic. Funny that this topic is on meeting attendance. The reason I got on this web site is I'm sick today and couldn't make the meeting I had planned. Meetings are very important, but also,having an active relationship with a higher power, reading the literature,doing the steps and talking to other alcoholics is essential for me. I used to be able to attend several meetings a week. The idea of doing less than 4 was an invitation to insanity for me early on. Now I have 2 small kids and my meeting attendance has been greatly reduced. My husband also needs to go to meetings --so it's a tradeoff. My kids are too active to bring to meetings. Anyways, it has been tough, but I have managed to stay sober, after attending 1or 2 meetings a week for about a year. Amazing. I would prefer to attend more meetings, but it hasn't worked out. I meet with my sponsor, and have been doing a short written 10th step nightly. That has saved my butt, and really improved my attitude. I am able to be accountable and aware of my behavior instead of continuing in the same mindset day in and day out. I write down assets as well as defects. There are negative and positive traits in all of us. I need to focus on both of them, inorder to achieve balance and have awareness on what I want to keep or change. If I just focused on what I was doing "wrong" all of the time, that would put me in a "I suck" or "F--- it" mindset. I need to look at everything. For those of you who cannot make enough meetings, do not beat yourself up. Do what you can, you are in charge of your own recovery. You can stay sober and attend few meetings, if you do outside work. Granted, i have some time here, (which doesn't equate with being exempt from meeting attendance,and--this may not work for all), but I still recommend newcomers to attend 90 meetings in 90 days. It gives you a good beginning foundation in the program. Thanks for letting me ramble a bit to long:-)
Member: Deanna S.
Location: Oregon
Date: 6/27/2002
Time: 10:07:02 PM
Sorry about the double message, my 1yr old slammed his hand on the key board. Go figure it got sent thru again!
Member: Tom S
Location: New York
Date: 6/28/2002
Time: 4:17:47 AM
Hi all, this is my first foray into online AA. It's funny how things work out a lot of times, because the reason I'm online is because I haven't been to a meeting in 2 years and have had problems because of it. I was pretty far gone, with alcohol, crack, and Comtrex (cold medicine to cure the hangover and put me to sleep at night). I was very successful when I first got clean and sober. Did more than 90 meetings in 90 days, and continued daily in AA for a year. I found a home group I liked very much, but the group started changing, in addition I was working more, and for the first time in my life climbing the economic ladder. I had been so successful (so I thought) that I could let AA fade away. The result is that, while I'm not drinking, I've developed a new dependency on a drug I didn't think was my real problem: Comtrex. For the last 2 years, almost nightly I've been popping cold pills (very bad, 12-20 pills per night) after work, living my days like a zombie. The problem is that I'm able to keep a job with this addiction, while my alcohol problem destroyed any ability to hold a job due to coming in 3 hours late to work or not at all. I've tried everything to quit, reading all the literature, and now I'm online, but I think the only answer is to start going to meetings again, although I'm embarassed to walk back in there and say I have 2 days sober. I had been told by everyone that meetings are everything, and I'm starting to believe they were right. Even while I type this I don't want to go to meetings again, but I know from experience I need to share, and by sharing in an online forum, at least its a step. Thanks for listening
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 6/28/2002
Time: 9:40:45 AM
I am an alcoholic and an addict , I think the importance of the meetigs is great to me.Any time I have had the urges it is meetings that help me remain sober. more I attended more I have benefited from it. IT is the shares of other I have learnt from there Experiance strenght and hope. thanks to aa and alanon
Member: mike
Location: here
Date: 6/28/2002
Time: 9:45:49 AM
My name is mike and i am an alcoholic. I get the things that I need to live at AA meetings. There are people sicker than I am there. There are people weller than I am there. There is fellowship there and there is a program of recovery there. I get the things for sober living that I need in meetings of Alcoholics Anonymous. As long as I attend meetings regularly and keep pounding on the steps I know that I won't make so many decisions based on self that I will get drunk. Drinking is dying and today I want to live more fully. Love, mike
Member: ruthie w
Location:
Date: 6/28/2002
Time: 3:41:40 PM
Hi, Ruthie here, Alkie from Alaska. I love what AZBill says about breaking out in spots! Hee hee. Humor goes a long way with normies and it sure helps me to be honest. I noticed that for me, when I hide the fact that I'm an alcoholic, I tend to start hiding it from myself as well. I have found that talking about it openly helps me to stay sober. Most of the time I keep that talk to meetings, but with people who know what I was like before AA, it's okay for me to be open about it. I tell an occasional story to my loved ones, and they are reminded that it is a bad idea to offer me a drink. It's interesting how even my loved ones can shift into denial about my alcoholism at times. Being open and honest about it keeps me safe. I remember a fellow I used to know who was in AA, we played in a rock band together. He always sipped his club soda and when offered a drink, he always accepted a club soda. His serenity in the midst of drunks was refreshing. I was attracted to AA even then (I wasn't ready yet) because he had something that I didn't. He planted a seed and when it came time for me to admit I was powerless, I knew where to go. 24 hours, again! ruthie
Member: Frank R.
Location: Lynn,MA
Date: 6/28/2002
Time: 11:34:14 PM
Hello!My name is Frank and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site. I am sober But for the Grace of God. I am so grateful that he is in my life today. It is not by coincidence that I am here or that attending meetings is the topic. Today was the first time I've been to a meeting in about a month. I've also been isolating and not talking to my sponser. This is the longest period of sobriety I've had. It felt really good to be back at a meeting. I am so grateful that all of you took time to share. Thank You for helping me to achieve another day of sobriety!
Member: Deena S.
Location: Panama Panhandle
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 1:18:51 AM
Hi, Im an alcoholic with a problem name of Deena. My dos is 10/22/85 and by the grace of god and the fellowship of AA I haven't' had to pick up a drink since that time. I don't have a home group, don't regularly attend meetings in a meeting hall. I see sober alcoholics regularly and I see unsober alcoholics regularly, and I share my ES&H with them. I am back in the mainstream of life and I like it here. I do a tenth step every night and usually during the day. I am sorting out the god thing once again and my conscious contact with a power greater than myself does not end at prayer. In fact it rarely includes prayer, but really more of a soul searching, such as a tenth step. I am aware of my limitations as a human and my part in the over all scheme of things when I review my behaviors and willingly address where I may have been wrong, and as well where I clearly was wrong. I don't have an opinion about your attendance at meetings however I have seen folks attend meetings drunk, sober and in between, whatever that means. I have seen folks attend meetings between drunks. I know that meetings will not keep me sober. I know that working those steps will, and it is not required to attend meetings to work those steps. HOwever, comma. It is difficult to connect in a meaningful way to a larger group of sober fellows unless some kind of neutral ground is available wherein I can go without holding you accountable for what you do for aliving, your living arrangements, your sexual proclivities and whether you bath and brush your teeth. and so on. And that is where AA truly fits for me. I may be put off by what others think about how I stay sober, so I am not in the habit of sharing that info, and certainly not in a meeting, closed or open. And rightly so, because it truly is not about me unless I make it so. make it so, number one! obviously a scifi fan and awaiting a visit from Sanders and Mark Deena pagan in the panhandle
Member: Austen H
Location: California
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 3:45:09 AM
Hi everyone my name is Austen. I am court ordered to go to 78 AA meetings and have to show the judge in january that I attended them all. Is there a way I can do them online and show the judge proof that I did 78 online AA meetings? Do you guys provide printouts on the computer that proove you did online AA in order to stay sober?
Member: Stew E
Location: FL
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 8:42:35 AM
Good topic, Tomcat. (Val M, I think it is none of their business. You don't drink. End of story.) I frequent this and othre AA sites weekly. I sit at my computer to do work, and as a break, I visit meetings. That being said (or typed), nothing comes close to the fellowship of a face to face meeting. The word 'regularly' is to be interperted by one's own needs. Like church, different people will define 'regular attendnce' differently. When a feating thought of going to a meeting enters my consciousness, it is probably time to go to one. Also when I notice an issue in my life that relates to alcohol, it may also be a good idea to go then too. KCB>
Member: Mark K
Location: FL
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 9:13:37 AM
Hi mark K, here fills good to wake up soober this morning .Stew E ,your up early today to .See you next week.
Member: David
Location: Summit, NJ
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 10:11:23 AM
hi, david an alcoholic. I have been reading the posts everyday this week and it has really helped me feel better, more balanced. I always feel better when I connect with thoughts of other alcoholics. I have been very irregular in my meeting attendence, never really got a new home group after moving, instead I love reading AA materials or checking out the posts on this site -- I am not very outgoing, probably afraid of what people will think of me so I tend not to take risks, i am a little too much of a thinker. Anyway, very greatful for this meeting. Also, just thinking about the post from Kelly V (Kelly, get to a face to face meeting, make contact with recoverying people in your area, I am sure your situation is tough, but it will get better if you give the program a chance and yourself a chance)-- it seems that if someone stood up at a face to face meeting an said what Kelly said they would get a lot more attention then they get in an online meeting -- i guess the bottom line is that you have to be willing to do what ever it takes to stop drinking or using one day at a time and things get better. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Deena S.
Location: panhandle FLA
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 10:42:54 AM
Good mroning, yes, since I was up til 2 last night(due to a very large nap) I slept in today and am very late getting started on chores. I guess I won't work out at ten with the ladies so off to market. Mark K in FLA, where you be? I'm in the Panhandle and please don't hold that against me. to market to market to buy a fat pig, then to sears and pennys to pay a fat bill and then off to a client, if they aren't going to stand me up. Which happens a lot. I call before driving across town. be good ttfn Deena
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 3:22:24 PM
I'm Chris ---I'm an alcoholic/addict/bulimic///As far as f2f meetings go I have just newl¥ rediscovered how important they are.. As I have mentioned before in this this sight. I have not been to many in the past 3-4 years, because i was physically unable..However, I am recovering and have been able to his a few....boy deos it make a difference! While not going to meetings , I did the best I could to keep up with my sobriety. I talked to my sponsor at least once a week... I did my daily meditations which included the 24 Hr book...visited this sight and worked to program to the best of my ability...HOw ever, I lost a lot of my serinity and was not as sober with my eating as I should have been...f/f meetings are making a big difference. My health now is still up and down so am not hitting as many meeting as I would like to, but it will happen . I am sure--- with the help of my higher power. ....As far as letting others kow I am an alcoholic...I just say , "no thanks, I don't drink.." and then I have jsut as mcu fun as I ever did drinking...that is enough proof for anyone....SObriety to all
Member: zipdog
Location: kansas
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 4:22:21 PM
Austen: ROFLMAO!!! Keep comin back!
Member: jenn
Location: down south
Date: 6/29/2002
Time: 9:45:15 PM
I have been in situations (on a boat in places with no meetings) where I had to work my own program. I stayed sober, but meetings give me an extra insurance policy. I see people I know, I can perhaps help a newcomer, and when I am "off track" some one notices, and cares.... That part of the fellowship is really special to me. I was in a meeting the other night when someone shared who is a nun in recover, and she said the spirituality in the rooms is stronger than that which she feels in the church. WOW. Someone else commented that our AA meetings are what "ministering" should be, helping and talking about problems and solutions. Why go without when this incredible resource is here to make our lives better? I go when I can, and almost always feel better.
Member: anonymous alcoholic
Location: 2689 Ridgecrst Drive
Date: 6/30/2002
Time: 8:08:01 AM
Thank you for great topics and shares so far. Meetings have been the most important part of my recovery. To me, that's what AA is. If there were no meetings, there would be no AA. I went to 90 meetings in 90 days, like they suggested. Each day I seemed to hear something new that I needed to hear for my recovery. I saw smiling faces. Heard trunaround stories. In general, during that first 90 days I 'came to believe' that AA could/would work for me. And, guess what? That was 10.5 years ago and it's still working! Thanks.