Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 9:26:14 AM
Hi, everyone I`m Donnie and I am a alcohlic. I have been thinking of the topic of how it work`s how do you stay sober? For me I go to meeting`s as much as possible, get involed, talk to my sponor, talk to God,and simply DO NOT drink. I am so blessed to have found this program today I`m can be a father, a son, a husband,and a friend. The last one was a major step for me because I cared about nothing or nobody when I was using. So thank`s for letting me share and I might double dip this week. So, GOD BLESS ALL. AND HAPPY FATHER`S DAY TO ALL THE DAD`S.
Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 9:27:44 AM
Hi, everyone I`m Donnie and I am a alcohlic. I have been thinking of the topic of how it work`s how do you stay sober? For me I go to meeting`s as much as possible, get involed, talk to my sponor, talk to God,and simply DO NOT drink. I am so blessed to have found this program today I can be a father, a son, a husband,and a friend. The last one was a major step for me because I cared about nothing or nobody when I was using. So thank`s for letting me share and I might double dip this week. So, GOD BLESS ALL. AND HAPPY FATHER`S DAY TO ALL THE DAD`S.
Member: sherri M.
Location: S.Texas
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 10:26:17 AM
How it works,how do I stay sober? I puzzle over my selection of words at first after a comparison of how Donny does it and I do it. I do pray and give my life over to God on a daily basis. O.K. I lied. I TRY to turn my will and my life over to god on a daily basis.Basically, I try to keep things real simple. I never take for granted that I have a disease that can and will kill me if I ever drink again. I do know from attending meetings and seeing people go back out that this disease will not regress.It stays in hiding. IF anything,it is getting worse cuz about everybody that goes back out after this disease has gotten "that" bad for them as it was me-don't come back! I have made my share of physical meetings for my first 5 years of soboriety and they are invaluable in early soboriety. Otherwise, I would not know all that I do at this point. Not like that is a lot mind you. The group and the words and the emotions and the sights and smells of a physical meeting are invaluable.They saved my life. For now I just check my Cyber site and enjoy my choice of lifestyle for now which is to focus on a rather rural,beautiful lifestyle. I have lots of animals and family to get on with these days. Just taking it easy w/a peaceful satisfaction of knowing that I have a wonderful life and I credit no one less than god and this program. I never let a night pass w/o saying my thanks to god about my soboriety and the gratitude I have just for having another day to have a life w/choices. It is a sweet life now but trust me.....I paid my dues for this serenity.It is a wonderful feeling/sensation.Rtaher like going through hell in order to find heaven.Each of us has our own personal hell's I imagine.There is no hell for me any longer. I don't drink and I used the tools of this program.Worked the steps,read the book,attended meetings,etc. You'll get there just hang in there.It is worth it. Take care and god bless, Sherri
Member: Kim
Location: G
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 1:54:47 PM
Hi, i'm kim..an alcoholic. I think i stay sober the same way every other alcoholic does. i make meetings, i talk to my sponser, and try my hardest to stay out of my head! I should be talking to "God" but i can't seem to figure out what my higher power is. I'm kind of stuck. Everyone keeps telling me it comes with the age. i guess at 16 you start pondering the question of who and what God really is. Ther's so many different beliefs and views that it gets really confusing! I guess i'll find my higher power when i'm ready. Well that's all i got. thanx for listenin!
Member: Bob H
Location: South Bend,Indiana
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 4:20:23 PM
Hi Bob alcoholic,How do i stay sober ? through the Grace of God and this program I havn't had to take a drink since January 1980 all i've practiced i doing the foot work . for me at firs it was just that don't think don't drnk and go to meeting today theit is alot more foot work to do .I remember i wastold to work on keeping the focus on my recovery and everything else will fall into place i still try and do that .i do thank God this program and this fellowshih for even e being alive today thank you for being here for me .
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 4:35:27 PM
I like this topic, and easy it has become. Ever hear of the train coming? The caboose only kills those it runs over when the train is in reverse:) The first one kills! I don't pick up the first one. I do this by "living" the steps/program. Mark
Member: C.J M
Location: Black Ankle,N.C.
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 5:12:02 PM
Hey everyone, I'm a cross-addicted alcoholic called C.J., good subject. At first don't drink and go to meetings, was all the program that I could even begin to comprehend. My soberity date is Dec.8,1998. today I get envolved in service work, I work with my sponser, I get envolved with other alcoholics, I pray, and I thank God every day for letting me find the program of AA, and for every thing I have today (my health,peace of mind,and a degree of serenity)Today I try and live in today and not tomorrow,after all it's ONE DAY AT A TIME that works for me. I thank you for allowing me to share. Till next time C.J. says to tell every one hey.
Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 5:26:13 PM
Hello all - LeeEllen here and a recovering alcoholic. Happy Father's Day to all the Dad's out there!!!
During the early years, meetings, meetings and more meetings were all that kept me sober. Then my sponsor got me involved in service work---taking AA inside the walls of women's prisons, juvenile facilities, etc. Besides the initial cleaning of ashtrays, setting up tables & chairs & making coffee, it was invaluable to me. The prison experience brought home full-force what I would be facing, should I go back out.
Today, due to physical disabilities, it's not always possible to go to FTF meetings, but I continue to talk with my sponsor, you people, participate in another addiction site and just try to do the next right thing. Since there's been 3 deaths in my immediate family since January, it's been tough but my AA family stays close at hand. Most importantly, my Higher Power is there whenever I ask for Him.
AA and my Higher Power save my life on a daily basis. Thanks for the topic Donnie and thanks all for letting me share. God Bless. Peace, LeeEllen
Member: brian n
Location: new york
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 5:28:29 PM
hi...brian...alcholic. how i stay sober. for me it is somewhatmechanical. after thirteen months i am still trying very hard to k.i.s.s. (keep it simple stupid). i start my day on my knees. i thank hp for the previous day's sobriety and ask for another. i am still not confident enough simply to ask for his will. then i stay the HELL away booze. unless work absolutely demands it, i will not be around booze. i was bullheaded in drinking and i'm not suddenly going to try and start pleasing people by putting myself in danger. next i try hit at least 3 (and usually 5) meetings per week. i don't know, or care, why they work, but they do. then i spend time doing step work wiyh my sponsor. finally i spend time with the friends i have in the program. that's about it. i'm writing as i'm in the hospital and cannot get to a meeting for a while. thanks for listening:)
brian
Member: brian n
Location: new york
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 5:28:39 PM
hi...brian...alcholic. how i stay sober. for me it is somewhatmechanical. after thirteen months i am still trying very hard to k.i.s.s. (keep it simple stupid). i start my day on my knees. i thank hp for the previous day's sobriety and ask for another. i am still not confident enough simply to ask for his will. then i stay the HELL away booze. unless work absolutely demands it, i will not be around booze. i was bullheaded in drinking and i'm not suddenly going to try and start pleasing people by putting myself in danger. next i try hit at least 3 (and usually 5) meetings per week. i don't know, or care, why they work, but they do. then i spend time doing step work wiyh my sponsor. finally i spend time with the friends i have in the program. that's about it. i'm writing as i'm in the hospital and cannot get to a meeting for a while. thanks for listening:)
brian
Member: jennifer j.
Location: sc (usa)
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 6:27:10 PM
Thanks for sharing Brian. It sounds like you are willing to go to any length to stay sober. That's what it has taken for me for the last 12 years. I think I heard all the "knowledge" of how to stay sober at my first meeting--- it was just putting it into daily action that proved to be a booger for me. But, you said it all. Now if I will just continue to do these things then I'm sure sobriety will continue one day at a time for this ol' wino.
Member: Rick L
Location: Walton, Ky.
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 7:02:51 PM
Hi everyone, Rick Alcoholic here. Today I kept thinking of a guy I met in San Diego where I first got sober. Old Fred was 54 years old and he spent 20 years of that in prison. At every meeting he would say the same thing..You got to change the we you think..Being a young man of 30 back than I asked him one night if he could think of anything else to say. Old Fred just laughed at me and said that I got to change the way I think or I would spend the rest of my life in prison. It didn't take me long to realize that he wasn't talking about a prison with steel bars, he ment the prison of an Alcoholic mind that kept us doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. I started to wonder how a person could change the way they think without a brain transplant. I got the answer from the people at alot of different AA meetings. In short it all came down to the same things. Don't take the first drink, work the 12 steps, give my higher power a chance, go to meetings, work with others. Once that I cracked that door of willingness open and started to see the results, I started to trust the 12 steps and my higher power more and more. Over the years I seen alot of miracles happen in my life. I wish that I could thank old Fred for what he said to me that night. I do belive that I have learned to think differently. For one thing, now that I'm just a few weeks away from my own 54th birthday, maybe old Fred wasn't that old after all
Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West, Fl
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 8:38:44 PM
hi family, Charlie Darling a very gratful recovering ALcholic. I stay sober one day at a time, as that is all I have just today, and I do it with the help of my higher power, and the fellowship of the AA program, and I get to a meeting everyday, and on sundays this is my meeting. Just for today I remain sober and tonight when I go to bed I will count my blessings, and Happy Fathers Day to all us Sober Fathers, who can now be there for our children, as well as ourselves. Love you all kwduke@keysdigital.com
Member: gil
Location: Texas
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 10:04:09 PM
Hi, I'm gil and I'm and alcoholic, its nice to be here. I've been sober since 3-13-89. I'm sober by the grace of God. And like Sherri, I don't go to many physical meetings anymore. Does this cyber stuff count? Are we actually sharing what we were so freely given or hiding out.
Member: qory
Location: tx
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 11:24:33 PM
you can tell a lot when you look into someones eyes, i think it is vidal to go personally to meetings. this is fine but if you know your "hiding" out thats a problem. using a computer to hide behind is no different than say a girl friend. we find amazing things to hide in. god and the first 164 pages are what keep me sober
Member: Eric D(DOS 6/8/01)
Location: Big D
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 11:34:55 PM
It's funny...a week ago you wouldn't here the word God leave my lips unless I was cussing. One week later I think I pray more every day than I ever did in my life!
One week ago I was content just killing myself one drink at a time. I happened upon an AA site by accident...or through the grace of God!
My point....I got sober because I discovered you all and God. I'll stay sober for the same reasons. Thank you all for your strength and great advise!
Member: marcia r.
Location: dallas
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 4:10:52 AM
i had my last drink on 01/29/01. i've never been to a meeting. i don't have the urge to drink, so i suppose that is how i stay sober. i'm glad that i found this site. the last few years i was drinking to maintain physical composure. i hated to drink. i was sick constantly. i weighed 70 lbs. i'm starting to feel better, but this world is scary. i feel naked. everyone around me is telling me how proud they are of me and how strong i am. but i don't feel strong. i am constantly reminded of the damage i've done to myself physically and the damage i've done to those around me. i feel like if i'm having a bad day and i show that emotion to my husband, that he will panic and assume that i'm going to do something crazy. and i understand why. that's all - i'm glad to have fund this site - God bless all.
Member: Allison V.
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 7:35:22 AM
Allison here-alcoholic-recovering. I'm glad this subject came up. I've been staying sober by doing many things. MARCIA...I haven't gone to any AA meetings either, I don't feel led to do that for a few reasons I'll discuss later. I've been sober for 2 weeks now and I'm loving it. I've been keeping busy doing things I should've been doing for years, I read, I pray , I talk to all the people in my life about remaining sober and how important it is to me, I've been trying hard to be a better neighbor and spending time with the folks in my community(even making small talk about the weather). I haven't had a drink-have I thought about -YES. Every day. Do I try to rationalize - yes. Will I drink again - not today. There is no reason I can think of that would make me pick up a drink today. God has made me equipped to handle anything without drinking. I don't need a habit or a disease adding yet another twist to my life. I am so thankful for my health and my daily struggles and accomplishments. I am 35 and feel like I am just beginning to live the life I've been given with a clear mind and open heart. Prayers and Hope!
Member: MarieB.
Location: Chicago
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 8:41:13 AM
Hi all MarieB. here an alcoholic and still sober after 76 days. I came to this wonderful site on or about mt first week in sobriety,the first few days I was in such a fog and physically detoxing, but since I come here everyday and the people at this site gave me the courage to go to my first f2f meeting 3 weeks ago,since I have found a sponser and am learning how to do the Steps of THE BIG BOOK,I Pray EVERYDAY and thank my HP every day and night to help me stay sober, I really can"t explain how I stay sober other than that,except I have a sense that I'm being watched over and everything will be O.K as long as I do my part and not take that first drink,I fell GODS presence in my life ever since I let go and turned it over to the LORD,It feels like I have a new found strength I never had before when I thought I had to figure it all out by myself, when I reached out and asked for help,my life changed in a wonderful way!I stay sober 1 day at a time! GOd Bless everyone here too ,for if it was"nt for the fine people all over this site I surely know I COULD NOT DO THIS ALONE! Thanks for letting me share. Keep Coming Back!It really Works! Love to all! MarieB.
Member: Rick S
Location:
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 1:29:37 PM
Hi I'm Rick and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time looking for support but I just feel I need an outside boost to help me kick my weekend binging before I loose control and it ruins my life. I don't really drink during the week but comes Saturday and Sunday it's one beer after another throughout the day. It's getting to the point where I'm sneaking more beers and getting a little unsafe.
I'd appreciate any advise and morale support or, if I'm in the wrong room, a point in the right direction.
Thanks in advance.
Member: JA
Location: Washington
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 4:11:10 PM
Hi my name is Julie and I am an alcoholic. Day two of being sober. I have tried to rationalize the drinking issues. I have peoeple lined up to tell me I don't have a drinking problem. If I don't have a problem with alcohol then why is it so darn important to me? I think I am a better person without alcohol. I think about it often but I am tired of appologizing to everyone for my actions when drunk. Not only that but the last time I drank, I blacked out. I don't remember anything. I want to have a full long life. I don't want to miss a thing God Bless
Member: Louis
Location: Ottawa,Ontario.Canada
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 4:15:40 PM
Louis,alkie,Rick S, i know i you feel,i was the same,could not wait for the weekend but after a while my weekend's started on tuesday ha! ha!.When i admitted that i had a problem a phoned AA i went to my first meeting 03 12 96,and been sober since.You may want to try it,it works.Good luck and keep coming back.
Member: Lavonne A
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 5:32:04 PM
Lavonne, alcoholic here. Great topic...what keeps me sober? First and foremost, a God of my understanding. Going to ACTUAL, FACE TO FACE MEETINGS is key for me. I fully support and rely on the accessibility of all the recovery opportunities that the Internet offers. But, for me, this is not enough. For those of you who have shared that you do not feel the need to attend f2f meetings, remember this is a program only of suggestions. But there is such a warmth and acceptance that is tangible in meetings. PART of that is due to the fact that a lot (most) of us feel very removed and disenfranchised from the rest of the world at large, usually a direct result of our drinking. Every alcoholic attending any meeting going on any where at this very minute can attest to that "finally feel like someone understands" feeling that one gets when crossing the door step to a meeting. I've seen it work that way again and again. Anyway, in addition to regular prayer and meetings, the AA literature has taught me so much about me...and how I am in relation to the rest of the world and in relation to my SELF. Drinking was not my real problem out there. I was my real problem...and can still be when I am not right sized and humble. My serenity is proportional to what I put into life. I cherish the ability to even attempt to live a sane life on a daily basis. It's a simple deal, really. Not easy, but simple. I have heard it called A simple program complicated by complex people. Something like that anyway. Keep coming back to you that are new...and you that are not so new too. Miracles do happen.
Member: Clifton H.
Location: Bryan, Oh.
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 6:13:35 PM
Hi. I'm Cliff. I'm an alcoholic. How it works. For me, I guess it all depends on finding useful and creative things to do with my time. You see, when I get bored, I start feeling like I should have a beer in my hand, but if I have something to do I don't feel that way. I play guitar, draw, write poems and songs, etc. I have found that if I keep myself busy I don't get the urge to drink. I also have a great support group and a wonderful sponsor who I can turn to if I need help. Meetings are a must. go to as many as you can and apply yourself to the 12 steps and you will see a great change in your life. Thank you all for listening and please stay sober just one more day.
Member: J MORTON
Location: AUBURN IN
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 6:56:50 PM
HI ALL JASON HERE HOW IT WORKS. WHAT WORKS FOR ME MAY NOT WORK FOR YOU. BUT I FIND MYSELF DOING THE SAME AS ALL OF YOU .. GO TO MEETINGS , GIVE YOURSELF TO GOD . THESE ARE A MUST TO BE SOBER IN MY MIND. AND WITH OUT GOD YOU WILL NOT MAKE IT . ONE THING I FIND MYSELF DOING IS THAT I LOOK BACK AND SEE HOW FAR I HAVE COME AND WHAT A BETTER LIFE I HAVE NOW. JUST THINKING OF GOING BACK MAKES ME SICK. THAT HELPS TO KEEP AWAY FROM IT EVERY DAY. IF YOU DO NOT HAVE A PAST YET KEEP GOING TO MEETINGS AND YOU WILL. STAY SOBER AND YOU WILL REMEMBER IT ALL. THANKS FOR BEING HERE TALK TO YOU ALL NEXT WEEK.
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Home
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 9:00:12 PM
Good topic, Donnie. First of all I had to want to stop and stay stopped and not just want an easy way out of the life I had. I had to stop expecting a quick fix and be in this for the long haul. What I do when the thought of a drink comes up, which it still does from time to time, is to think it all the way through. I have to remember; which is the most important word in the sentence "Remember, we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling powerful." I remember what it was like when I drank. I remember things like these: I embarassed my husband; I slurred my words; I said hurtful things; I picked fights; I refused to let people know the real me (because I didn't know who that person was, either); I lied when the truth would've been just fine; I have Hepatitis C and can't possibly drink as much as I would like to since my liver can't process alcohol anymore; I would end up homeless; I would not have the wonderful fellowship of sober people at my disposal to help me through the rough times anymore.
Thoughts of drinking still come up, but not the obsession, which is important to point out. See, it's a thought first, which I keep from turning into an obsession by asking my HP to remove the thought and to replace it. As it tells us in the Big Book, if I will turn my thoughts to someone else I can help, I will usually be relieved of the thoughts (and potential obsession) to drink. If I were to give into the thoughts which turn into an obsession and actually took a drink, the compulsion would at once take control and I'd be off & running once again with John Barleycorn and my life, as I know it today, would begin to end.
I'm one of those who's not afraid to admit that I don't want to drink for the rest of my life. I just need to remember that I can only live my life one day at a time and then it's easy to stay sober the rest of my life, because all that entails is today only.
Member: Diane H.
Location: Kansas
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 9:16:39 PM
Hi, I'm Diane, alcoholic.
How do I stay sober? First, by not drinking today, attending AA meetings, being involved in AA both f2f and online, having a contact with a Higher Power of my understanding, and being willing to work the 12 Steps as outlined in the Big Book. Without f2f meetings, we would miss out on the companionship and smiles and support that is only available FACE TO FACE. I read of those who are attempting to stay sober without practicing the principles of the AA 12 Step Program, and I wish them success. I will also be available when they wonder why they can't do it alone!! Thank you for allowing me to share. My sobriety date is June 28, 1988.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 9:20:11 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!
Good topic, Donnie! I really can't add to what's been said. But I think the best explanation for "how it works" is typically read at the beginning of a meeting, and this reading comes from Chapter 5 of the Big Book, "How It Works."
Member: tyler
Location: Brazil
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 11:50:47 PM
i am a 21 year old alcoholic/addict who has been sober since 9-10-96 partly b/c my parents threw me into a recovery house on this date. i had a lot more that i was about to send but the internet cut out and now i am lazy. It is 12:50 A.M. here in Brazil and i am tired. i stay sober today by the grace of God. i know that i am not keeping myself sober b/c i was never able to in the past and i am still physically the same human being. i owe it all to God. i am glad that i was able to discover this site and i will continue the rest now
Member: tyler
Location: Brazil
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 11:51:31 PM
i am a 21 year old alcoholic/addict who has been sober since 9-10-96 partly b/c my parents threw me into a recovery house on this date. i had a lot more that i was about to send but the internet cut out and now i am lazy. It is 12:50 A.M. here in Brazil and i am tired. i stay sober today by the grace of God. i know that i am not keeping myself sober b/c i was never able to in the past and i am still physically the same human being. i owe it all to God. i am glad that i was able to discover this site and i will continue the rest now
Member: tyler
Location: Brazil
Date: 6/18/01
Time: 11:55:23 PM
Sorry!! there are no meetings here in Sao Paulo that are in English so it is nice to have discovered this site. i know that i need to do a lot more in the Service department if i want to stay sober b/c when i go to sleep at night and think about if i could have been of more help to people i think that i definitely could have. please let me know of any additional sites that i could log onto to find an actual live meeting with chat rooms that are FREE!! one-day-at-a-time. TYLER
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista Arizona
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 12:32:12 AM
HI Family. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. A special note to Kim G. I highly recommend "Sermon on the Mount" by Emmet Fox. It will separate the religion from the spiritual for you. It is also one of the references that Bill W. used to write the Big Book, therefore is consistent with the twelve Steps of Alcholics Anonymous. Page 55 in that same book will tell you where you will eventually find God. Second paragraph. "....for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God."
How do I get and stay sober is very simple. I made my first AA meeting (this time) on day six. On Day seven I started through the Steps and have been working the Steps ever since. They have become a part of my life. A habit if you will.
It became very clear to me early on that the first Step merely defined the problem. My lack of power. I was to find out later that the power I needed was to come from two sources. The meetings themselves and a God of my understanding.
Meetings alone will not keep me sober. They are made up of humans and "..probably no human power could relieve our alcoholism." Even God will not get me or keep me sober unless I seek Him. Sooo as simple as it may be.. it is Dick and Jane seek God One through Twelve. :) Any questions?
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 6:55:41 AM
to this day i still have the desire to stop drinking.i know that with a drink,i will be blocking out anything that would be of a progressive growing in my life.today i seek spiritual progress,the steps help me in my journey .now that i am sober i can feel,things are mre pure more real,i enjoy that .i have a feeling that the best is still yet to come..and if it doesn't? i like what iv'e got so far....so much hinges on my sobriety,i thank God for it daily.......i'm tony an alcoholic
Member: Brenda K.
Location: CT
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 7:21:31 AM
How to stay sober...
Well, it's day 17 for me and so far so good. For me, staying sober involves first my admittance to the fact that I will never be a "social drinker"; that alcohol and I have this love/hate relationship. Once I not only thought this but accepted this, I was able to admit I am powerless over alcohol. I am very green at sobriety, haven't been to an AA meeting yet, but have looked into the Big Book and how AA works, I believe the fundamentals of this program are very important. I feel relieved that I can say "here you go God, give it a whirl because I can't do it anymore" I pray, keep my mind open, be grateful every day for the great things in my life, but mainly don't drink (today)--it took me awhile to get the idea of one day at a time, but it's the only way to do this.
I am also grateful to this site, it has helped me and I come here every day. I connect with many things written here, it keeps me honest with myself.
Thanks for listening-
I also come to this site everyday and read the entries, I connect with so many things people write, it helps me to realize I am just person who happens to have a drinking problem.
Member: Brenda K
Location: CT
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 7:25:30 AM
That last part was a little redundant, was suppose to delete it! :)
Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 7:59:00 AM
Hi, Mark here, alcoholic.
Great topic! For me, this is just about the only topic. I've been sober for the past eight months by reminding myself every day of the fact that I am an alcoholic. For me that does not mean that I am morally flawed, it just means I have developed an addiction to alcohol. If I put even a tiny bit of the stuff in my mouth, I'll be badly messed up. So every day, I participate in my online 'home group' which is the LifeRing Secular Recovery mailing list at www.unhooked.com, and when I have time I also visit the buletin boards there, or attended one of the live online meetings. And once a month I come here, becuase this was the first place I came to eight months ago.
With all these reminders of what alcohol does to me, every time a drinking thought pops into my head (which is less and less often) I can respond to it. I can say: Are you freeking crazy?? Do you know what that stuff does to you once you put it in your mouth?!!
Another thing I do is to keep sobrity as a priority. Whatever I do, my sobriety has to come first. Becuase if I'm drunk, I won't be able to do anything. In the fist few weeks and months, that meant I had to turn my life on its head. Now it's quite easy.
Thanks for letting me share.
Mark C.
Member: Marvin B
Location: Euless Texas
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 8:09:16 AM
Good topic. I contribute sobriety since Dec of 1968 to the ongoing continuation of lots of things. As it tells me in Chapter five where it speaks about wanting what AA has and willing to go to any lengths to get it. For me, first came going to a meeting. Talking one on one. Sponsor. Websites are nice places to add a little seasoning to the meal of sobriety, but to me true sobriety comes in the regular attendance of meetings, talking one on one and face to face with a sponsor, the fellowship of AA on a worldwide basis, and working of the 12 steps. The promises of AA came true for me. I might be able to stay sober without AA, or without meetings, but it would seem to me that it would be like living life without electricity and finding out at the end that all I'd have had to do to have it would have been to hook on. I encourage anyone who seriously wants to stop drinking to start attending meetings regularly.
Member: Mike M.
Location: way out west
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 8:32:56 AM
I'm Mike and I'm an alcoholic. How will I stay sober today. I have scanned what was said on this site since yesterday and have had a chance to reflect. I'll probably call my sponsor after work. Maybe one of my sponsees will check in. I'll do a f2f tonight. Tonights meeting will be an open descussion meeting but I weigh my meetings heavily toward service meetings in institutions and study meetings. I'll study something of a spiritual nature that I can't quit understand. I'll try to find something to laugh about. I'll try to bring something to my day and not just take. I'll try to remember that the power to stay sober and move toward a growing freedom comes from God, through others when I try to work the steps. I'll try to remember the law of the heart, that when my heart and mind are wrong, that nothing is right and that I must find my way by doing the steps and that when my heart and mind are right everthing is right. I can nolonger cover my bad motives with good ones. My math is getting simpler now as I now know that when something is wrong in my world and I then do something wrong what I now have is 2 wrongs. I used to believe that 2 wrongs = 1 right. I know only a little. Much of what I believe to be true is not. And that whenever I am desturbed, nomatter what the cause, something is wrong with me. I'll be back next week. Love
Member: Jon I
Location: W Lebanon NH
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 9:58:49 AM
I'm Jon I , an alcoholic. This is my first time on this site. Read some neat stuff.
How I stay sober has changed slightly over the years. I have been sober 16 years, and still attend meetings. I have a sponsor and a group of close AA buddies who look after each other.
At first, it was at least 2 meetings a day. I was 58 when I got sober, and am 74 now. I have to keep that last binge "green". I am still as close to a drink as a newcomer. I have from the start used AA as a power greater than myself, as I have never been able to accept the existance of a God. I wish that was not the fact, but my HP has worked for me just fine.
My life has turned great, my wife is with me, my children have come to love me, and my grandkids...all because of AA.
Thanks for the opportunity to share. AA is the only way to Go....love Jon
Member: Ray B
Location: illinois
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 10:11:58 AM
Im Ray and I am an alchoholic. Julie, Rick, and Eric, I am going thru many things you are. I have tried rationalizing, and thinking I needed to drink to deal with life and supress all the fears, angers, and resentments(and every other thing you want to insert here) I have. I justified drinking only on the weekend and at times that happened during the week as well. I justified drinkink was ok because of all my past accomplishments(that in reflection I have noticed less and less good things happening and I have fallen into a rut) The bottom line is outside of running from life, nothing will get better if I continue to escape. I am sober today because I have finally realized after trying so many different things that if I admit I am powerless over alchohol, and remind myself how unmanageable my life is, and turn my drinking problem over to God (as I understand him) for today I will get better. I am confused, depressed, angry, sad, scared etc, but if I stay in the moment and let God handle it I feel a bit of relief. I will work on the bigger picture later... right now I will let go, and accept life the best I can. 61901
Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA - USA
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 10:44:46 AM
Good Morning All; Joe here definitely an alcoholic. Donnie - thanks for the topic. Happy Belated Father's Day to all the Dad's. I miss my Dad. He was an active alcoholic and I was ashamed of him, but I miss him nonetheless. I was taught to "Ask God in the morning, and to Thank Him at night." "Stay away from People, Places and Things." "Try to help another alcoholic and make a meeting if I could." It's been working since 8-5-75. I'm a lucky guy what can I tell ya... KIM G - as far as the higher power thing, I was brought up in a certain religion and have returned to it. I don't believe the religion is perfect, but than I don't practice it perfectly either. It's better than what I had though. What I do know is that I need God, A.A. and people to stay sober. Thanks for being here... Joe L.
DAY - jleach@harmonind.com NITE - LeachFtown@aol.com
Member: Tyler L.
Location: Still Brazil
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 11:39:22 AM
hey, me again. i found out about another site and i am not sure how it differs from this one which i am enjoying a lot. Last night i asked the question on this site about if anyone knew of a site that has meetings which i can talk to someone directly, maybe even over ICQ. Anyways, i woke up sober today so now i have got 1,601 days of sobriety at 21 years of age!! i am not bragging b/c who would bragg about having a drug and alcohol problem? i am just proud to be a member of the AA program even though i do not work it to the best of my ability. i stay sober by trying to remember as i go through the day to pause when agitated or doubtful and ask (GOD) for the next step. when i remember this i realize 2 things: 1.that i am agitated a lot and 2. that it works!!! good luck
Member: Judy T
Location: NC
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 11:39:36 AM
Hey all, this is my first post here. I have been reading and enjoying everyone's sharing. I have been sober since 2~1~94. It has been the best 7 years of my life. How I stay sober is like most, not drinking, going to f2f meetings, praying to HP and working the steps with a sponsor. I also am so grateful for the life recovery has given me, to drink, I would lose it all. I was 24 when I got sober and hadn't lost much b/c I had not acheived much. Today my sobriety is expensive and I would lose so so much if I took a drink that it is not worth it. I wanted to say I agree so much with Lavonne about F2F meetings. That is where home is today. I never felt like I "belonged" until I walked into a meeting. That has become my family and sitting at a computer doesn't do that for me. This site is a wonderful supplement since I am now a Stay at home mom. Sobriety has given me a wonderful family! Thanks for letting me share and I hope everyone has a wonderful, SOBER, week. ps: If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it probably is a duck. For all those "wondering" if you are alcoholic. I had a problem with Denial big time. But remember, non alcoholics don't come to AA websites. Judy
Member: Brian S.
Location: Omaha, NE
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 1:25:56 PM
This is my first time being here..I stumbled across this site looking for material for an AA Newsletter I do for a district here. Anyways my life is the best it has ever been. I owe all of this to AA and people like you. I stay sober by following the winners in AA. I go to at least 4 meetings a week, call my sponser, read the big book, and dont drink, and help others. My sponsor suggested this things to me early on in my sobriety. I have been sober since July 28, 1997. My life has improved quite a bit, it is not where I thought I would be at, but I believe my Higher Power has lead me to the life I have today. I just had my second son, Duncan, what a blessing. I never thought I would have kids, I have two now. My first will be 2 in July. I believe if I continue with doing all the things above my life and yours will get increasingly better. AA works for me. Thanks for letting me share. Have a good week, and dont forget to smile.
Member: Brian S.
Location: Omaha, NE
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 1:26:01 PM
This is my first time being here..I stumbled across this site looking for material for an AA Newsletter I do for a district here. Anyways my life is the best it has ever been. I owe all of this to AA and people like you. I stay sober by following the winners in AA. I go to at least 4 meetings a week, call my sponser, read the big book, and dont drink, and help others. My sponsor suggested this things to me early on in my sobriety. I have been sober since July 28, 1997. My life has improved quite a bit, it is not where I thought I would be at, but I believe my Higher Power has lead me to the life I have today. I just had my second son, Duncan, what a blessing. I never thought I would have kids, I have two now. My first will be 2 in July. I believe if I continue with doing all the things above my life and yours will get increasingly better. AA works for me. Thanks for letting me share. Have a good week, and dont forget to smile.
Member: Mike
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 3:53:24 PM
To those who are newly sober (and everyone else for that matter) online message boards are NOT a substitute for real AA meetings. It is interesting to read what others have written, but there is no substitute for 1 on 1 contact with another alcoholic. As for the topic, I stay sober the same way I have since the beginning - by doing everything in steps 10, 11, & 12 every single day. "Faith without works is dead".
Member: Amber F
Location: Michigan
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 6:30:23 PM
Ive only been sober for less then week, I don't drink as much as alot of people its just one drink every night and now I have these enormous craving for it . Ive kept clean soo far through the grace of god and a one great friend who has helped me. I haven't got to a meeting yet but im working on it. WHen your drinking you dont see this downward spiral your life is going in your just stuck in this depressive state, now I can see clearly and hopefully thinking positive, praying to god, and attending meetings will keep me sober. If anyone wants to talk you can email me at Redwing79@msn.com
Member: Laine
Location: Everywhere
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 6:39:54 PM
Hi, I'm Laine, Recovering Alcoholic. Think about this: "The sound of silence surrounds me and it tenicals slip inside to wrap around my heart. From the heart flow the issues of life... God only knows there are volumes of knowledge stored up covered with dust from antiquity wedged between isolation and withdrawal. Stepping back out of boredom, I looked behind me to see the glamor of passed adventures with hollow eyes staring back at me. I dodge the venom of the tastey "spirits" while trudging through the hell I make for myself sober.
Failure after failure tiles my path with excuses to break out of this growling existence. Maybe it won't hurt to have a few drinks. I don't know as I have no reference for this experience.... yet! One, two, five, seven, ten, fifteen years of sobriety, do I hear that medallion of fashioned metal screaming my name at sixteen! Just three more weeks and you will have achieved that awesome success! Where is the glory, where is the happiness, where is the good feeling of having accomplished something worthwhile? Oh, yes, I hear that voice telling me again, "Yeah, Been there, done that, don't wanna go back!" Don't take the easy way on the escalator, use the steps! Yeah, I've seen a few AA meetings but that isn't what kept me sober.
Now that I reflect back down whence I came, who did and what price have I paid for sobriety? No one and Nothing! What price have I paid for who I have become? How much did I lose between the laughter and the tears? And what does this have to do with Alcohol and Drugs... they didn't break my heart, not this time. But that whiskey and tonic sure sounds inviting to drown that heartache glittering and loud like a County Fair.
Don't let the cares of life get you!!!! Know your relapse warning signals and call your sponsor! Run, don't walk to the nearest AA meeting, Al Anon, or meeting of your choice. Cause buddy, you're just one step away from that first drink. And all you out there with years of sobriety under your belt, you're closer to your next drink than little Abner with 24 hours sober. What keeps ya sober? Can you identify any warning signals in this?
Member: Kat D.
Location: CA
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 6:41:51 PM
Kat here, major alcoholic. Well, believe this or not, I only just started attending meetings over the internet, I feel no need to go to a f2f meeting...and I have never actually "worked" the steps! Or had a sponser. I went to alanon for awhile, having the dual disease. I love the program, tho, and I get a wealth of positive living tools from chat and e-mail groups. In my life, I prayed to God one day seven years ago to take my WILL and MAKE me quit, because I could not do it on my own...I did the first step. The religion I adhere to did the rest, and actually adding my exposure to AA and alanon principles over the net, has set me on a path I think GOES along, enhances my own spiritual life...I have been sober 8 years and KNOW it is by God's Grace. I think the steps, slogans, promises, reliance on a higher power, are RIGHT ON and totally in keeping with my faith. I feel no need for f2f meetings, the Internet experience is for NOW all I need. I would not be adverse to going to f2f if the need should arise. I consider myself a member of both AA and alanon. Just another point of view!
Member: sallie
Location: Houston
Date: 6/19/01
Time: 8:45:12 PM
How do i stay sober? By staying in the NOW, calling my network of women friends in the program and "pausing when in doubt to ask for the right thought or action".I have to stay out of self will and turn it over to God's will. If I'm doing the next right thing, then I'm probably in God's will. A friend gave me a wonderful little book called the "Golden Key" by Emmett Fox. It is simple and concise. I carry it with me at all times. I always remember in Bill's story, "for if an alcoholic failed to perfect and enlarge his spiritual life through work and self-sacrifice for others (actions!), he could not survive the certain trials and low spots ahead." how true, how true for this alcoholic. If I'm doing a 10th step everyday then I'm unlikely to get in much trouble. I've learned it's the buildup that's the kicker. God bless this site!
Member: laura
Location: boston
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 12:11:20 AM
Hi my name is laura and I'm a drunk. It is nice to here old and new on this site I stay sober by going to meetings and trying not to think to much.when ever i get in trouble its my own thinking that gets me there. See today I know that this is centerd in my mind and will tell me the that i dont need to meetings or talk to anyone or ask for help or do whats best for me.THATS WHY I NEED ANOTHER DRUNK to tell me really what the truth is because i don't see it the way it reaaly is so really great people that have walked down the same road and can help me in my dream to be at peace with others and myself. AA CAN GIVE ME WHAT BOOZE DID AND MORE IF I HOLD ON TO MY SEAT AT MEETINGS. ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE SOBER ! LAURA
Member: laura
Location: boston
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 12:11:25 AM
Hi my name is laura and I'm a drunk. It is nice to here old and new on this site I stay sober by going to meetings and trying not to think to much.when ever i get in trouble its my own thinking that gets me there. See today I know that this is centerd in my mind and will tell me the that i dont need to meetings or talk to anyone or ask for help or do whats best for me.THATS WHY I NEED ANOTHER DRUNK to tell me really what the truth is because i don't see it the way it reaaly is so really great people that have walked down the same road and can help me in my dream to be at peace with others and myself. AA CAN GIVE ME WHAT BOOZE DID AND MORE IF I HOLD ON TO MY SEAT AT MEETINGS. ITS A GREAT DAY TO BE SOBER ! LAURA
Member: gil
Location: Texas
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 12:51:57 AM
Hi, I'm gil, still an alcoholic. Sallie, in houston. I have quite a few Emmett Fox books but not The Golden Key. I went to amazon.com and couldn't find it?? Would love information.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 2:21:11 AM
Hi, I am Jack a real alcoholic.Thru the Grace of God and the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous I have enjoyed continous sobriety since the 23rd of November 1987. Staying away from the first drink today is not hard, its dealing with life on God's terms that requires the most effort from this alcoholic.For me if all I want out of my sobriety is to be physically sober, then the third tradition and the first two steps of our twelve step program will do that. The third step for me is the key for me to useful sobriety.The third step for me is nothing more than a commitment to God and the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.If I live the principles of these tewlve steps and traditions, not only will I stay physically sober, but I have a better shot at sanity and spiritual growth. On the worst days, when nothing seems to go right, I resort back to what I was told early on in sobriety. The real alcoholic, doesn't drink no matter what.Come hell or high water, good, bad, or indifferent, we don't drink. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Kerry
Location:
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 4:15:49 AM
hello All! I'm so glad to talk to all of you! My Name is Kerry and I've drank today, Why?! I went camping. I've been sober 30 days had to celebrate. Besides never went camping without having a drink. I blew it. i wish I knew how to stay sober. I got everything else. Just beer, too much everyday---gets pitiful. thanks, Kerry
Member: Jeff B
Location: Northern CA
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 7:25:35 AM
Hi my name is Jeff and I am an alocholic. I have stayed sober by the grace of God and the program and fellowship of AA.
I can't stay sober without God and AA and I know that I can not because I have tried. Some power greater than myself gave me the gift to see what I am. I have this thing where I can't drink alcohol without getting in trouble. In addition to not being able to drink I have a mind that remembers how it feels when it had alcohol. I can remember the ease and comfort that came with the first drink.
AA has (amomg many other things) let me see past that 1st drink to the crash that seems to eventully follow because I never seemed to stop with one or three or five.
Today AA and God are slowly teaching me to be sober and even comfortable at times without drinking. I have to let it work, and listen, and take simple actions each day. Praying, reading, going to meetings, taking steps, and comming to this meeting on line all seem to help. I know that some power greater than myself has kept me from having to drink for over 3 yrs. Coming here this morning reminds me that He can do it again today. Thank you all for being here.
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 7:50:57 AM
I am an alcoholic how do I remain Sober? and how it works for me? Besides attending my AA meetings/attending Church on regular basis I have found that some of the things that drove me to insanity I try to avoid for example anger /stress/ anxiety/depression. Over periods of few yrs I have learnt to manage them successfuly without drugs.
Member: Sallie
Location: Houston
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 8:48:58 AM
Hi, Sallie, a recovering alcoholic. To Gil in texas: The book can be found in your local intergroup office or through Devross Publications or, I suspect through Unity church, if you have one in your area. They carry many, many books that help alcoholics deal with staying sober, living life on life's terms and our own conception of God. It's a great day to be sober and I'm grateful to God for another chance to live perhaps helping another who is in pain. God bless!
Member: Marty G.
Location: Manitowoc, Wisconsin
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 8:51:47 AM
Hello again everyone, just can't stay away from here,which is a good thing! How do I stay sober? One day at a time; @ of course,something said to me @ others at a MEETING----DON'T DRINK, GO TO MEETINGS @ READ THE BIG BOOK! Good to see your still here corrine! Marty G.
Member: Lavonne A
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 11:57:34 AM
Lavonne, alcoholic here again...just to say...Kerry. You drank. BFD. You don't have to CHOOSE to keep drinking. It says in Chapter 5 in the Big Book, in HOW IT WORKS: No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is--we are WILLING to grow along spiritual lines. Kerry, point I am trying to make is this...you drank. So--lots of people do not "get" this at first. Progress not perfection. Keep coming back. I'll bet ya something though...you probably weren't making meetings or doing the stuff. It ALSO says in How It Works about half measures availing us nothing. That part is true too! You are in my prayers, Kerry. Lots of people die from this disease. LOTS. You don't have to be one of them. We pick our own alcoholic bottoms. Try it again...and mean it! I don't mean to sound cold, but this disease is waaaaaaaaaaaaaay colder than I am. It's facts.
Member: Kerry
Location:
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 3:46:32 PM
Thanks Lavonne A. from Ohio! Just what i needed to hear. I'm never going to give up and I need to stop beating myself up and just do it one day at a time! I appreciate the advice. You were right, although I was going to meetings. I was keeping reservations about the program. Thanks! Kerry
Member: AndyM
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 4:45:23 PM
I couldnt agree more with everything that has been said to this point,however there is one important part of staying sober theat hasnt been mentioned, SERVICE WORK,I know it may be difficult while online, however the techs accomplish that for us,I am physically and mentally involved in the program due primarily to service work, I have to be involved or none of the other things make sense to me and at the same time it keeps me out of myself, which is a bad place to be for some of us, I firmly believe that the best way to help yourself up is to help someone else up, we alll know that we have to be willing to give our sobriety or we cant keep it, I was told the usual however there was an emphasis on service work and as long as I believe that, thats all that matters.
Member: AndyM
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 4:46:04 PM
I couldnt agree more with everything that has been said to this point,however there is one important part of staying sober theat hasnt been mentioned, SERVICE WORK,I know it may be difficult while online, however the techs accomplish that for us,I am physically and mentally involved in the program due primarily to service work, I have to be involved or none of the other things make sense to me and at the same time it keeps me out of myself, which is a bad place to be for some of us, I firmly believe that the best way to help yourself up is to help someone else up, we alll know that we have to be willing to give our sobriety or we cant keep it, I was told the usual however there was an emphasis on service work and as long as I believe that, thats all that matters.
Member: Mark Dr.D
Location: NH
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 5:23:34 PM
As I head toward my ninth month I fell off the 'pink cloud' that I had been floating on for about 5 of those months. I found myself thinking about stopping at the liquor store on the way to work and spiking up my morning juice; as I had done so many times in the past. The ease in which this idea was recieved by me really freaked me out. Here I had been happy, following my program and out of the blue this pops in my mind! I actually had to wrestle with the thought before I put it away. Man! It was just like the old days before I quit! What the hell!
I didn't pick up but I was sure shook up. Jon I, a fellow NH native with a lot more sobriety than I have mentioned above about keeping his last binge 'green' as a way to stay sober. I went out at lunch and went to a hill not far from where I work. Ten months ago I was shitfaced at 9:00 on a workday morning and decided to ptake a piss there before I got to work. I stumbled down the hill and lost my glasses. I also passed out. Well, I found my old beat up glasses that I had lost those many months ago. Here they sit on top of my monitor at work. A nice reminder for when I need to keep my Hell fresh.
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 6:55:03 PM
Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, How it works, it was care of hard for me at first but things started getting easier as my life started to turn around. Now I go to meetings and talk to my higher powder when ever I have the urge to go back out. This seems to help me get through the day. I work my program to the best of my ability each and every day . This has worked for me. One day at a time......
Member: annie k.
Location: blue ridge mountains
Date: 6/20/01
Time: 11:18:34 PM
HOW it works...Honesty, open-mindedness and willingness. The basics of this program are what make it work. It amuses me to hear all these people who have never been to a meeting, haven't found it necessary to go to a meeting, etc.,etc. These meetings saved my life. Today, after 11 years of life without putting anything in my mouth that alters me from the neck up, I still need these meetings. They save me from myself, over and over. It was my best thinking that got me here. An old timer once said, I've got a broken thinker, and I can't trust my own judgment most of the time. I NEED people to bounce my ideas off of." One hand reaching out to another,one mouth relating to another, one (2) ear listening to another...these are such an important part of sobriety. I need to have people who are looking me in the eye, like someone else said. I need to know someone else has been where I've been. I need to know that I am not alone. Cyber meetings are great, but they are not a replacement for f2f meetings. At any rate- back to the topic. Trust God-Go to meetings-Clean house-DON"T DRINK- get a sponsor-do the steps. Pretty simple. And makes getting and staying sober a lot less painful and uncomfortable. Trust me. Sobriety Rocks!! Avril is right. I was a chronic alcoholic who spent most of her time in blackouts and tears and fears. NOT TODAY! Thank you God, and thank you, you good people of Alcoholics Anonymous, who have helped me to learn to live Happy,Joyous and Free! Yippppeeeee!!!!
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa.
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 2:22:00 AM
Hi, I am Jack a real alcoholic.To Kerry, if you have not had a drink today, you are in good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous. Before this program can mean anything to you, you need to have a firm committment to the third tradition.The desire to stay sober, has got to be greater than the desire to drink.We do not compromise our sobriety, nor put any conditions on it. Keep coming back, go to meetings, get a sponsor, who knows he is just a messenger of The Big Book, and not its author and read the Big Book.. God Bless you and keep coming back.
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 7:40:20 AM
I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the AA fellowship. For me, it's the 11th step. Those 2 pages of the BB that tell how to pray saved my life. In the morning, I ask for guidance and knowledge of his will for me, and at night, I give thanks for the day just completed and for another day of sobriety. I supplement this with meetings, talking to other alcoholics, and reading the BB and other spiritually centered literature. I keep in frequent contact with my HP thoughout the day, asking only for knowledge of his will. I give thanks for all the great things in my life, and have come to realize that I am truly blessed. Through this daily routine, I've strung together 22 years and 4 months of continuous sobriety without the need to slowly kill myself with alcohol. Thanks for letting me share. Fred
Member: SteveB
Location: Texas
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 9:39:27 AM
Hi, I'am Steve. An alcoholic. Its coming up 1 year in two weeks. I stayed sober at first by using a simple logical thought. I told myself, "If I am an alcoholic, then I shouldn't drink. If I am not an alcoholic, then it doesn't matter". I was all screwed up because my wife, (now ex-wife) had an affair that I found out about, and she asked me for a divorce when I went to talk to her about it. I knew I needed help. I stayed sober, when I came out of the fog, I realized it was a disease and not a condition.
Member: Matthias W.
Location: Germany
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 10:07:56 AM
Hi, my name is Matthias and I am an alcoholic. I haven't had a drink for more than 2 years. From the beginning on I believed that I had to go to at least one meeting a week. And that's what I did and than I started to increase the number of meetings up to 4 and I also started working the steps. Lately I found myself only focused on the program and that does not make me happy, because I get into my head when I go to meetings instead the other way around. It has always been this way! People tell me than that I should go to more meetings and work more in the program. But the more I work in the program the more confused I get. The more I work in the program the more I am isolated in the real world. I believe in God and I have always believed in God, although I must admit that I have got much closer to God through the program. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Tom M
Location: Homosassa Florida
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 11:55:14 AM
Hi Everyone, my name is Tom M. and I AM an alcholic. I have been in recovery Nine years 1 month and and 29days. One day at a time. Most of all the things that have been said, I do too. ONE DAY AT A TIME. The main thing is I do do them ONE DAY AT A TIME. A little saying we have all heard at one time or an other, if we have been in the program for any lengh of time is what I Keep in mind, and that is: Yesterday is a canceled check, tomorrow is a promisary note, But to day is cash; spend it wisely. Today is all we really have. So I don't spend it worrying about yesterday or Tomorrow. I try to acknowledge my errors an learn from them and then move on. To Kim from G 6/17/01 1:54:47 PM I wish I had found this program when I was sixteen. A lot of loved ones of mine could possibly saved a lot of needless pain. Keep coming back.
Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 12:51:05 PM
How IS a good topic. Much mention of many things people do, with admonitions to read the big book. It seems that there are just two sentences in this book that say it all. Near the end of appendice 2 on spiritual awakening are where these are located. THe authors, in great wisdom italicized them. I must paraphrase, as I am at work, and do not have a BIg Book here. Openess, Honesty and willingness are the essentials of this program. But they are indispensible. These two say it all. THe rest of the book explains what they mean to us dummies. Mark
Member: lulu
Location:
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 1:39:44 PM
i still masterbate
Member: Chris H.
Location: Canada
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 2:55:05 PM
Chris here, an alcoholic. Well, I appreciate the topic. Going to meetings, talking with sponsors, reading the book, and doing the step work. I guess the key is doing the program, and the key to that is willingness and meditation with my HP.
For me I keep things simple these days, a day at a time, do what I can in my program and try to help others.
While I consider my home Colorado, I am in Canada. I love the ocean, waves lapping against the shore and the fog horns. When I am close to nature I get to commune with my spirit and find peace. These days I am content and happy, and while I miss Colorado a bit, I love where I am, the people, the meetings, and the country.
I appreciate the fact that wherever you are, AA is there for you, and all you have to do is reach out and ask for help. What a blessing it is to have FTF meetings in remote and unfamiliar places. Sure, every place has its share of nut cases, but for the most part, people in AA around the world are willing to help, if I am willing.
Blessings to AA.
PS Hang in there Kerry, easy does it but do it! If you are willing the program will work for you.
Member: Cathy K
Location: AZ
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 2:56:23 PM
Hi I'm Cathy I'm an Alcoholic and an Addict.This is the first time I have done the internet thing, although I am clean & sober 15 years.How I did it?at least three meetings a week(not all AA some CODA,NA,ACOA. The big book says "if youre willing to do whatever it takes..."that was my whole life belief until I was 30, ya no "do it like your life depends on it...well now it does! now I apply it but in the direction of Sobriety. I thank you for your comments helps me remember Take it Easy Today!
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 4:55:58 PM
Chris h. here --alcoholic/addict/bulimic...to Kerry---I agree---don't beat youself up! Just get back on the road, and don't let it spiral... That is one of the biggest lessons I have learned from A.A...Progress not perfection---forgive yourself and move on!!What a freedom this program has given me! Eventhough I have not been able to get to meetings lately , I agree with everyone when they say that ftof meetings are better for us than cyber( although I love this sight!).---At the ftof meetings you can get good feedback as to why we do the crazy things that we do. I also feel more supported and that I am not the only one in this world that is so looney!!!Have a great week...
Member: Wouter
Location: neth.
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 5:18:13 PM
Hello there, summer now in Europe, 21 june 2001.
Let the sun shine, etc. etc.
alkie wouter here, sober almost 2 years. first you count the hours, 100, then days, months and weeks: 100 plus weeks. wow.
how do i do it:
aa
books
selfrespect
pride
and stayingcyber.org
the first and the last only rarely nowadays, because the problem is resolving itself somehow.
i am sober, happy and finally i am me.
problems still come on my path, but the solution never is and never can be a lot booze and pot.
i will feel, analyse, react and act, write and meditate to get a solution. that is the path to heal the rather big mess i got myself in.
no more short term solutions.
thanks, have a nice hot summer. eat your vitamines and do your excercise, greetings to you all !
Member: Nancy G
Location: Maryland
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 5:59:49 PM
Hi, I'm Nancy, and an alcoholic. First time I have ever said that to a bunch of strangers, but a really good feeling, especially after reading all the above. We have lots in common. Been sober now about four and a half months, and am so grateful and happy about it. Can't go to f2r AA right now, but still trying to figure out a way. Don't know if anyone has run into this before, but no where available to me would be anonymous, due to my career. Anyhow, it was my brainstorm today to look on\ the 'Net (duh?!), and what a nice surprise, lots of sites. Validating and reinforcing to read everyone's responses, caring, courage, etc. Also, always think of myself as such as "newbie" but remembered when I counted the days last Feb., and that was really hard. Went from cravings, to impulses, to thoughts, and now remarkably there' are days when I don't even think about alcohol. How I've done it so far (even though I can't go right now, I know a great deal about AA due to my work)...remembering the pain of addiction every day, enjoying my life after being in such a fog, wonderful family support, and an absolute desire not to drink, NO MATTER WHAT. I have just recently begun to feel a need for the fellowship of this program. Thanks for being out there for me today. P.S. A couple more thoughts, am beginning to tell more friends that I don't drink anymore, another good feeling. Also, I systematically avoided early on places/people that I knew would be hard, and have tried to tackle these "old triggers" one at a time. Working today, thank God.
Member: Richard S.
Location: MA.
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 7:44:36 PM
Richard - Alcoholic. One day at a time, I use the 3 simple ingredients. 1. - A.A. 2. - HP 3. - An open mind to suggestions. Without them my cake is a flop. 33 days, I have to keep it simple.
Member: weis 1
Location: allaskka
Date: 6/21/01
Time: 9:35:17 PM
i hav a big one
if you know what i mean
Member: Darlene W
Location: Alberta
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 12:23:35 AM
Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my name is Darlene. I have been sober for over 15 years, one day at a time. I am not getting out to meetings like I was for the 1st, 10 years, but am sober and still living one day at a time, or sometimes an hour or minute, whatever it takes. Life is good today, due only to AA and the grace of god. I can not say enough about this program. Staying in prayer and asking for help are big things for me and I still keep in touch with my sponser.
Member: Sam L
Location: Hong Kong
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 1:04:08 AM
Hi, my name is Sam, and I'm an alcoholic. In regard to topic of "How it work? and How to stay Sober?" My way is keeping thinking about how this discease will hurt all the people I loved. I can't handle the negative effect it will impose upon me & my family.
Member: Pat L.
Location: PA
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 2:08:51 AM
I'm forcing myself to write this because if I can't even admit here that I have a problem with alcohol how on earth am I going to get myself to go to a meeting? I drink on a regular (daily) basis. I drink alone and I drink socially. I rarely ever drink to the point of getting drunk and I only will drink one particular drink. If that's not available, and I can't make it available, I will not drink at all. I'm sorry, I lied. If I were at a party and my drink were not available I would likely have something else that I didn't even care for to relax me. I rationalize that for many reasons I am NOT an alcoholic but I think that because I'm spending so much time trying to convince myself that is true then I must be an alcoholic. Today is going to be my first day of sobriety. I am going to go to a beginner's meeting tonight and I am going to come back here too! I think I need to! Thanks for listening. I'd welcome any feedback. Sorry for not sticking to the discussion topic but it's foreign to me at this point.
Member: marcia r.
Location: dallas
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 5:03:58 AM
this is for pat l. in my experience with my addiction, rationaliziation is an oxymoron. when i was drunk i spent more time "rationalizing" than anything else. i'm using that time now to focus on the issues behind the bottle. it's tough and scary - i had to stop lying to myself. but my life is worth it. yours is too. marcia - sober 4mos.23days
Member: Avril G
Location: Belgium
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 8:47:15 AM
Avril G here D.O.S July 11th 1990
Honesty Open-mindedness, Willingness is how it works, closely followed by Acceptance. P.449 BB tells me '....and acceptance is the answer to ALL my problems today....' I have to accept my alcoholism firstly, then the rest of the world and life in general second. I cannot change Him/Her/It/Them, I can only change me.
{{{KERRI}}} I spent 7 years trying to stop/stay stopped!! God willing, next month will be my 11th. How did I do it??? Meetings, meetings and MORE meetings in early days, oh yeah and a sponsor, and not drinking for ....minutes at a time initially, until one day became manageable, using the telephone, and did I mention meetings?? I found a Higher Power (eventually) I think initially the meetings were my HP (GOD = Group Of Drunks)
My original sponsor told ME, get to all the meetings you can, Avril, it's important, then when she got to 7 years, she stopped doing meetings (maybe she thought she was cured?) Then last month, I took her into a treatment centre where she has just celebrated one month of sobriety, instead of the 12 years she would have had had she stayed at the meetings. She doesn't miss many meetings these days.
OK, so meetings (which are people) as has already been mentioned, won't in themselves keep me sober, BUT they keep me HAPPY to be sober. See, I was a raver in drink, and a social animal. When all my 'friends' started making up excuses as to why they didn't wanna go out with me, I became a bit of a recluse, a lone drinker, a lonely, sad, miserable, good for nothing drinker.
Today, I have a wealth of friends in AA meetings, and also socialise with AA people. I also socialise with Non-AA's but I had to re-learn this and you guys who put their arses on the seats in the meetings taught me how to do it WITHOUT a drink.
I don't 'Live in AA' But I do 'LIVE' since I've been in AA.
Other recovery site links which I have are too long to post here, but if anyone wants them, drop me an e-mail and I will send you what I have.
The internet sites are a great back-up, but f2f is better, I need the eye contact (Real Eyes Realise Real Lies) And not only that, those who never go to meetings never find out what happens to them who don't go to meetings.
Meeting Makers Make It
goodallavril@hotmail.com
Member: A.J. D
Location: California
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 10:58:41 AM
Hi everyone my name is A.J. and I am an alcoholic. I spent many years trying to do this program my way and guess what,I could not stay sober. Finally I asked someone to be my sponser and show me how to take the steps.We did that together and I found my god and that life I always thought was impossible, and have been clean and sober for four years. Meetings,Steps,God,Fellowship; Thankyou A.A
Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 3:43:25 PM
Only because of f2f meetings did the attraction of REAL sobriety get me (SD 7/23/99). Like the newcomers who shared, in the beginning, I thought that sobriety meant stopping drinking. Today, I know that sobriety means thinking and living a whole different way. When I look back at how sick and insane I was in the beginning, I am totally certain that if it wasn't for going to meetings where people saw me regularly, loved me patiently, and pointed out when I was getting better or worse, I wouldn't have maintained the desire to STAY sober. Without experiencing the 12 steps using others' advice, direction and correction, doing what they suggested, I might not be drinking, but I would still have the same old ways of thinking and acting, which would lead me back to my old ways of coping...drinking.
How do I stay sober? I don't..God's Grace keeps me sober. But I make choices today...not to drink, go to meetings, belong to a home group, serve on an intergroup committee, call at least one alcoholic every day, sponsor newcomers, study my big book, pray and meditate twice a day, chair and lead meetings, visit the detox ward and sometimes see oldtimers who decided they could graduate from AA(!!!), talk to my sponsor, practice the 4 absolutes...whatever it takes, whatever it takes.
When I run my show, I'm dead. When I came into the rooms, it took a while to realize how screwed up I was, mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. The longer I'm sober, the more scared I am of becoming that person again. I need my HP and you people in the rooms to keep me on track AND accountable. MY LIFE DEPENDS ON IT!
Member: Lyna
Location: SE US
Date: 6/22/01
Time: 8:44:36 PM
hello cybergroup, lyna, alc.,good topic
i don't know how i stay sober, its been now i would say, 14 days.. 2 weeks.. (this time)
well i came close today to a slip, and forced myself after rationalizing, to put the bottle back on the shelf,
mostly, i got some suggestions here .. like keeping busy, eating sweets, exercise, "clean out the kitchen cupboards" !! use the phone, meetings.... i think that it is sometimes for me no big problem to stay sober, but that sometimes there is temptation, and I have to really concentrate, which can be praying, to wait, and get through that minute, or hour of the day, today...
thanks so much for most of your shares, i haven't visited here as much as the first few days, but today, i did get a scare, and i am so,
so thankful,that i am not now in that mess of foggy thinking, denial, other bad stuff.. thank you for reminding me that
if i get towards thinking that i can just have one (or two), ..... whatever little sneaky thoughts, that those are deceptive, and i have to be strong, just today... i know that around the moment today of more definitive refusal to give in, which my HP probably REALLY did it FOR ME...... i know, i thought about this web site, and i then looked forward to visiting, and this "meeting" has been exactly what i needed, and
thank you, today, cyber sobers for your encouragement !!!! you may not realize how much of a help even just being at this internet site "meeting" has been for me , but it has been, you have been,
so some encouragement right back atcha !!
--lyna, staying sober.. not always easily, but very THANKFUL for the AWARENESS and to be able to choose today, to STAY SOBER .
Member: Kerry
Location:
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 3:18:29 AM
Kerry here! a real alkie. I was just reading all the encouragement. I appreciate all the love and reassurance from some of you for my recent slip after 30 days of dryness. I had bought a case of my favorite ole brew and i was sucking on it. I know I should throw it out. I have a few, wait a few days, then have a few more what alot of effort it is. WOW! It isn't worth it, the stress, the guilt when I drink more than my quota so I waited two days than I bought another case to babysit myself with. I hope I get tired of this self denial and Join AA without any reservations. I'm still hanging onto all of this by the hair of chinny chin chin. I believe my God is being patient with me. I'm not going into AA screaming and kicking just denial. Being truthful--- to thy own self be true, is honesty to our core. ((Von)) I read your post. My only thought was --- This is a very smart person! I think that of most of you.I also know somewhere down inside me is a spiritual being, just trying to make it in this material world Thank_you all very much, for sharing and showing this diesease can be halted. God Bless all here!
Member: Kent H.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 4:57:33 AM
Hi, I'm an alcoholic named Kent. As a chronic relapser who has stumbled in&out of the program for the last 10 years, I just have to emphasize KEEP COMING BACK. My last 3 relapses very nearly killed me each time, but here I am...9 months sober and feeling better than ever. I am immensely grateful that I've been given yet another chance. Many are not so fortunate.
Don't give up 5 minutes before the miracle happens.
I love you all, Kent H.
Member: morticia
Location: ohio
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 9:25:32 AM
hello all! i am an alcoholic..i had never said that out loud until about 2 weeks ago when i went to my first f2f meeting..i havent found the strength to go to another one after that..and i dont know why.. i deal with a lot of denial, i think...i dont have to drink every second, i dont think about it all the time, i dont neglect my bills or pets to support my habit, in short...i drink on whats left after the responsibilites are taken care of...yet i know a problem exists... i go through a half gallon of whiskey every weekend..more if i have people buying it for me! LOL my first love is bacardi 151 (straight shots) but i cannot afford 20.90/bottle...LOL anyhow..i will stop babbling..i wrote a poem last night while drunk that i shared in coffee pot, but i guess i will share it here too...i hope everyone has a good day! :)
ALCOHOL
dark and raging the secrets lie in wait to destroy fling upon the hearts and minds used up, a toy
falling in a vortex or trapped inhumanity caged, enraged, rabid, wild senseless, torturous, wasted space so dark, this place
oh but to love and be loved what a joke, just smoke and mirrors a twist of convience and lies a miserable mass of tries and cries
trashed heart, thrashed soul the vortex keeps sucking out life beating, whipping, wailing, failing no rescue from this strife
imprisoned in secret self-made chains slash the flesh enslaved by the powerful, tighening grip i hang on
clinging to the life of the death this monster in control just another day, just another way the theft of a soul
Member: DonF
Location: nh
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 1:33:07 PM
Pat L, WELCOME, Don't worry about the topic. Newcomers are important to us, to help us think about the early stages of recovery, because every day, we can find ourselves in the early stages, and we need to remember, because we don't have it "made". We don't know you but we already love you in a very special way!! I hope you come back here and let us know how you feel after a few meetings, but the real meetings are the best. Stay with them. Go to several before you decide you don't belong here. You get something different from each one. Don't judge us by one meeting. Come along for the ride. Deciding I'm an alcoholic is at first humiliating, but that's only because I was ruled by pride. Then, when I'm humble, I realize how bad pride was screwing me up. Then I can get better, and I'm relieved to know finally what was wrong with me, and give it a name: alcoholic.
Member: D.W.
Location: upstate
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 5:32:25 PM
Hi,Dave here. I found I was much happier,and had alot more money in my wallet when I STAYED OUT OF BARS.I had to say goodbye to my drunken buddies and get help from the experts.Now I avoid trouble spots.
Member: Connie
Location: MO
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 6:05:49 PM
My problem is Connie and I am an alcoholic..
How do I stay sober.. One day at a time.
When I was a new comer, I remember saying to myself cause I just couldn't comprehend what everyone was talking about..Big Book, AA meetings, 12 steps. And when I read all these things it just kept going in one ear and out the other ear. I kept going to meeting. And doing what other people suggested I did. But how did I stay sober through all those obstacles. I am not sure. I do know this much, I wasn't alone in all of this fighting this disease. I had My Higher Power right beside me the whole time. Actually my HP is alway near me, I just have to remember to pray or ask for his/her guidance and I will make it thru one more day.
I, myself hit at least one meeting a week and I am in contact with at least one person from AA a day. Just to remind myself I am not alone and I do have this program and others who understand me around me.
I have also found out my balance doesn't mean I have to go to a meeting every single day. It just means I can't drink just for today.
Being sober has turned my life totally around. However, I have found out life still goes forward and really horrible things still can happen. It just that now I can handle these things in a sober mind.
Hugs and Peace
Member: C.J. M
Location: North Carolina
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 9:35:05 PM
C.J. says hey to all out there. Andy M. W.PA I mentioned service work the first day of this dicussion. It was mentioned. you are right, it is probably one of the most important, if not the most important part of the AA program.Thanks for allowing me to share.l
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit richr_srcp@hotmail.com
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 10:09:01 PM
How do I stay sober? Is that what you'd like to know Donnie? I don't mean to be cute, but I don't really know how I stay sober. It must have something to do with my desires and my efforts, but they aren't enough. There is some 'magical' power that makes up for what I lack and makes the dream come true for me. I have been sober now for over 10 years so I am in awe of the extra power that has been so freely given to me.
Someone at the Dearborn Woods meeting Wednesday said it: recovery is a gift because based only on our efforts we don't deserve all that we get in recovery. I agree with that, some days I only put in the bare minimum and yet at night I can get on my knees and thank my HP for another day of sobriety.
A few years back I was at a first step table and an oldtimer named Ed, who was sober 34 years at the time, said when he ONLY had 20 years sober he made the statement that he didn't think he would ever have a desire to drink again. Back then his sponsor corrected him, 'Ed, you're an alcoholic so you will ALWAYS have a desire to drink. Let's just say your desire to drink is at this level' and his sponsor held his hand out in front of him. 'The reason you don't pick up a drink is because your desire NOT to drink is up here' and he held his other hand up higher. 'As long as you continue to go to meetings, call your sponsor, work the steps, do service work, pray to your Higher Power, etc. your desire NOT to drink stays higher than your desire to drink. But if you stop doing that stuff then your desire NOT to drink keeps coming down until pretty soon they are both equal and someone says 'Hey Ed, let's go have a beer' and you say 'sure.' I think there is a lot of truth to that.
Member: AndyM
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 6/23/01
Time: 11:50:59 PM
CJ you are correct you did mention service work, kindly accept my humble apology
Member: Tom M
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/24/01
Time: 8:32:43 AM
Tom, alcoholic. Ninety days sober Thursday. This is my longest period of sobriety in 25 years, my entire adult life. Through self-will I quit once for 30 days, then another time years later for 28 days. I was crazy with the craving each day of those 58. I couldn't wait to reach those lofty goals, prove I wasn't one of 'those alcoholics', and start drinking again.
Alcohol continued to do its job on me to a point 92 days ago I knew I had to quit. I knew I couldn't think my way through it as I had tried before. I read a book on how to quit without AA. Maybe that works for some. Another option was go to an AA meeting. I did because I had to show my wife something - that I was trying at least.
Tonight my home group has a birthday party for those of us celebrating a sobriety milestone (my sponsor celebrates 8 years tonight). They will ask me to say something so I had to think about it. I would suggest this to hardheaded people like me just starting out: Just be open to the possibility that 'it works if you work it'. Just as an experiment, pretend that you believe this stuff all these AAs are saying. We have experimenting with drink concoctions and other drugs, experiment with the idea that the promises on page 83 and 84 of the BB will come true.
I am so grateful this morning. Only by God's grace did I do 90 - only by God's grace will I continue to tally up the days. I ran across this in my spiritual reading, "God won't do for us what we can do for ourselves." I could not stop drinking on my own, God did that through all of you. My part is to get my butt to meetings.
One of my character defects is talking too much. At this time I would like to shut up. Sometimes I have to shut up shutting up. Anyway, I wish you all success!
Member: Tom O.
Location: Oahu, Hawaii
Date: 6/24/01
Time: 5:31:52 PM
My name is Tom and I am such a pathetic alcoholic. Two nights ago I drank after nine years of being sober. I drank alot and I made a fool of myself and I drove. I made it home, didn't kill anyone, didn't land in jail and I'm pretty scared. I'm pretty sure that I have used up the last of my nine lives, last chance has been given. I'm sitting here with the Big Book (something I've never really used) and trying to figure out how I'm going to try to put my self back together. I had that first drink--just a beer. Seven hours later I'd had about 15. So I don't know how to stay sober, no help here. Why did I drink? What was the reason? I don't think I needed a reason, I'm an alcoholic and my scale finally balanced, my will to stay sober no longer weighed more than my desire to drink. I don't have a sponsor and I haven't been to a meeting in 7 years. I'm afraid to face a meeting but I know I have to find one. I have to really do it right this time. I can't believe I drove, that's the worst part, the very worst part, I could have killed someone. You won't be surprised to here I don't have a HP, that's one aspect of my problem. I'm feeling a little lost right now, but thank you for letting me at write this down.