Member: CharlesB
Location: Mississippi
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 5:27:45 PM

Comments

Hope this works. Have treid to quit drinking several times. I fear that it will not happen this time either. This is the first time I have ask for help. I am an alcoholic. There, I did it. I pray to God for his help this time.If I don't, it is just a matter of time before I get a DUI or have a wreck and hurt someone. I no longer want to be a embarrassment to my two daughters. No, I know getting drunk is not cute. Thanks for listening.


Member: Kathy K
Location:
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 5:27:49 PM

Comments

Maybe we can talk about getting off the pity pot and get "into action" . I have a job I'm noy very happy with but it takes alot for me to do anything about. Same thing with the steps.


Member: he-he
Location:
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 5:58:47 PM

Comments

kathy

i got a job for you that you will like......

but it requires knee pads.

tee-he-he


Member: Brenda K.
Location: CT
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 6:57:13 PM

Comments

Self pity was always a comfy place to be for me; I have spent my life comparing myself, situations and problems to others and they always seem to have it better. Being a loner worked for me because no one could understand the weight on me, and I didn't need anyone to support me, I will do it all myself. Unfortuately I am self-sufficient but have used it all as a crutch to drink, after all I deserve it. By the way I am 8 days sober and this weekend was the worst, but I survived it.

Thanks for listening


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA - USA
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 8:15:19 PM

Comments

Hi All; Welcome Charles, Kathy & Brenda. My name is Joe and I am definitely an alcoholic. I identify with all 3 of you. As you can see, I am from Philly and should be watching the "Sixers" on tv, but my one of my son's friends overdosed today (19 years old) and I don't really feel like it.

Charles - this site is good, but you need to contact A.A. people in your area, get to know them and let them know you. Good luck.

Kathy - I was e-mailing out my resume before I got on this site. I too, am working, but am not happy where I'm at - good luck to you also.

Brenda - You are on your way and you never have to feel that way again. I wish you the best.

Folks, I just wanted to say, I don't really know what to say to my son. My wife tried to comfort him and we think he'll be ok. It's just a lousy way to die and so young. I pray for us all. Peace, Out - Joe L.


Member: Greg L
Location: Los
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 8:46:27 PM

Comments

Go Lakers!!


Member: Greg L
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 8:46:38 PM

Comments

Go Lakers!!


Member: Donnie M (DOS 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 8:51:13 PM

Comments

Hi, everyone I`m Donnie and I`m an alcoholic. Self pity is feeling sorry for yourself and today if I wallow in shit I feel like shit. Today the reality is if I drink I know I`ll die after all the shit I put myself through.Today I talk with my sponsor daily and attend meeting`s everyday. I do not wish to shut the door on my past, but if I do`nt pray and communicate with other`s in recovery I`ll get that stinkin` thinkin` and that will lead down the road to hell and I have worked to hard to get were I am today I`m a productive person. I am a father, a husband , and a college student. I have gained so much in life since taking booze out of my life. I live for today and do`nt worry about what will happen tomorrow. I know if I ask GOD to help me stay sober he help`s me make it. we all are miracle`s , so remember GOD love`s and will help you if you ask for it. Thank`s for letting me share and GOD BLESS ALL.


Member: Wm O
Location: Macks Inn Idaho
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 8:59:18 PM

Comments

Hi Iam Bill an alchoholic. I've heard some of the old timers say including one of my sponsors say! Iam thankfull for alcohol it kept me alive long enough to get here? rite over my head. I however relate better to its still working for them.I guess its because I remember realy well when it stopped working for me. Actualy kind of funny It was a sunday Im pretty shure I'd killed at least a 6 pack of my very favorite lite beer.Thats pretty good usually took at least a 12 to feel like I did . I decided to go to the bar this is a realy small place , so I knew every one I'm pretty shure I had maybe three moore beers. My very last beer was a free one only finished half of it. It was getting on to 10 oclock I panicked and left the bar went imediatley home to bed. I woke the next day to this new kinda killer hangover. I'm 40 years old I have drank or drugged since 15 have partied in boom towns overseas ports and have shut my share of bars down. Go figure it was my job to make shure that bartender had some one to talk to. Well any how this new hangover on less then a 12pack was realy bad. You know bankrupcy divorce DUI fistfights guns to my head none of that got me like this hangover. Were is bottom Iam realy glad now I found it befor it killed me . I am 5 days shy 11mo sober its a good deal. I gotta pray twice a day maybe more when it gets tough . God has gave me 2 sponsors just as screwed up as Iam,somehow it works. If I give it a good old western try God makes it happen . Love Bill


Member: Dry in the Desert
Location: Nevada
Date: 6/10/01
Time: 11:47:57 PM

Comments

Good Evening Everyone, my name is Walter and I am an alcoholic !

"Do the footwork and expect a miracle".

I heard that in one of my first meetings and it certainly has been this program of action that has changed my material world.

With the tools of AA, we are able to free outselves of the trap of the "pity pot", think clearly and take step to change out situation, whether is be a job, relationship, legal or financial problem.

God, Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, CHANGE THE THINGS I CAN, and the wisdom to know the difference.

Changing the things we can is the action footwork we need to do, so we can recognize the doors that God has opened for us.

Wecome to all the newcomers.....you are doing great !! Keep coming back (here) but pick up the phone, talk to a person and attend live meetings.....


Member: Don
Location: NH
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 12:40:33 AM

Comments

Charlie B, congratulations on your admission that you are an alcoholic...having done so you now can get help. Pride and ego may have kept you from saying that before, and will step back in and tell you that you were a bit hasty, and actually didn't have a problem with alcohol. That maybe you just have to avoid HER, and that PLACE, and those THINGS that piss you off and make you want to get drunk. So go to meetings, ask for help, don't drink, and LET IT HAPPEN. Means get yourself and your old attitudes out of the way. Three of the steps contain the word ADMIT. Look also for READY, HUMBLY, and POWERLESS. Welcome, we NEED YOU. Let us know how it goes from time to time. Ask questions. The only dumb Q. is the one you don't ask. Better do this stuff face to face, too, not just behind the anonymity of your computer. This is an incredible way of life. But you have to be an alcoholic to get it. Stay well, and c'mon along.


Member: Kerry
Location:
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 3:36:31 AM

Comments

Hello, My name is Kerry and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober 28 days. I know I'm doing it wrong because I keep thinking if I make it to day 30, then I can have only a few because I made it this long. One day at a time. I've been going to a few meetings every week. Talk to an e-mail a spnsor. I know I'm not totally honest thinking I could never drink again. I feel it is too much of my make-up. I know I am conpulsive and allergic to it. I just think I'll be able to manage this time. Cause I know better now??? I guess i feel the need to try again. I don't know if I ever felt like i tried to drink socially before. I know I usually failed. Maybe it is worth a bad case of the jitters. I am not happy watching my husband have his cold ones everyday, and I know he won't stop. He thinks I am being brainwashed. Thanks for letting me sound rediculous. I know I gotta pray.


Member: Allison V.
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 9:21:58 AM

Comments

I guess this topic is self pity-not sure though. Anytime we can admit to ourselves that we have a problem we can start to move on. I'm trying to let everyone that is important in my life know that I am not going to drink again. I am not wallowing in self pity, I feel that was what drinking was all about. I also think that when I started to "hate" alcohol and getting drunk more than I hated anything else about myself and my life I began to need to get sober. I don't pity myself at all-that's not in MY makeup. I'm a 35 year old wife, mother of 3, christian, friend, etc... I make really bad choices when I drink. I say things I can't remember, go places I don't want to be, talk to people I don't need to be around, etc... I do not want to drink again because I know that I will start the same destructive patterns all over again. My trust is in God. There is a prayer in 1 Chronicles,4:10;; "Be with me and keep me from anything evil that might cause me pain." It is my mantra in times of stress or weakness. KERRY-My husband drinks too. Some days it is hard for me, but mostly it concerns me because I don't want him to be hurting himself with alcohol. I don't know how his drinking will affect him in the long run-I know that for today it won't be a problem for me. I need to talk to him more about many things and be honest with him. We've been drinking buddies since we met in college. Me getting sober is going to affect us both. I have so much to figure out about myself, but I am convinced that I have to take it one hour at a time. My goal is to be sober for a lifetime because I know that there is no social situation that will make drinking ok. I will not be able to feel good about sobriety if I drink today. Thanks for listening.


Member: Mike M.
Location: way out west
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 9:27:56 AM

Comments

Mike, alcoholic. I admitted I was powerless over alcohol and nothing happened. I joined a group of people who admitted they were powerless over alcohol. Together we stay sober a day at a time. The power comes through the group to me. The power comes to the group through me when I give through the steps with my best effort. I can't but with God's help we can stay sober and we can even get happy about it. Love.


Member: Rick  L.
Location: Walton, Ky.
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 9:31:13 AM

Comments

Hi all; Rick Alcoholic here. Admitting that I was an Alcoholic was the easy part. Accepting the fact that I had an incurable disease was alot harder. My life revolved around alcohol. After being dry for a couple weeks, the idea that just one drink would hurt me seemed absurd. Time and time again I tryed to just have that one drink always with the same result. When I started to go to AA, I kept asking the same question. How do you keep from getting drunk. Always got the same answer. Don't take the first drink and go to meetings. At these meetings I learned that I was doing my thinking with a sick mind that kept me doing the same thing over and over expecting different results. I was given 12 simple steps to follow. I thought that I was a pretty smart guy, but I found that I needed help to follow these simple steps. After awhile I learned just how much my life was unmanageable. These people sat with me through the fear and tears. I learned how to laugh again. After awhile I started to think differently. At one time I thought I couldn't live with out alcohol, Now I learned just how good life can be. At one time I looked at going to these meetings as a task. Now I welcome the chance to go to one.


Member: Mark Dr.D
Location: blindsided in NH
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 9:55:33 AM

Comments

8 months this week. Everything's going well. I'm going to meetings. Accomplishing things and acknowledging progress (BIG issue for me) I've been through a few sobriety challenging hurdles; more prime drinking opportunities than troubles. Come through with flying colors.

Now--Monday morning-regular work day--no real problems--BAM! Out of nowhere comes that stupid impulsive mindset. So I'm stopping to post. Try to get a meeting in this afternoon. I have one that I regularly go to Monday night. I'm hopin' some of you CPers can give me a virtual smack upside the head. I'll be checking in from time to time. Thanks.


Member: The crazy world of Avril G
Location: Belgium via Barnsley UK
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 10:16:08 AM

Comments

I guess that since this is 'Gratitude week' June 10th being the 66th anniversary of the founding of alcoholics anonymous, I am reflecting on just how easy we have it in recovery today. Thank God that 66 years ago two guys got off their arses long enough to start to begin an incredible life-saver which is AA as we know it today.

Do I remember this when I am wallowing in self-pity? NO SIR!! Am I grateful each and every day that I do not NEED to drink? NO SIR!! Self-pity is a paralysing symptom of my disease even now, almost 11 years sober, and nothing in my life has to change to bring a good dose of self-pity. (EXCEPT my stinking thinking) Today is good, sun is shining, I have food, I have a wonderful partner and his family who I love dearly, my own family love me, and I can tell them I love them today, and I have no reason whatsoever to pick up a drink. WHY? Because you people, newcomers and old-timers alike have taught me I need never drink again.

In early days I had to break down the 24 hours into more manageable pieces (sometimes promisisng myself 'I will NOT drink for the next --- MINUTES') Thank God that for the most part today, 24 hours is a manageable timescale for not drinking BUT contingent on my working the programme to the best of my ability and sticking with the meetings, OH, and trusting in my HP who I find works through people, who I usually find in meetings.

ANYONE who is struggling, pick up the phone, go to a meetng, TALK to people, e-mail anyone who posts their address on sites like these. Contact like-minded people. It helps the old-timer when a newcomer contacts them more than you will ever know.

I Thank God for AA and thank AA for God (as I understand him/her/it)

Have a great day unless, of course YOU have something else planned.

goodallavril@hotmail.com


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 11:20:17 AM

Comments

self pity is an awful thing,why do i do it?i guess i get "off the beam" as they say.one of my favorite slogans in a.a. is "move a muscle,change a thought" so that means to me to get busy with a.a. and what i do is to do things for others and just do whats in front of me that needs to be done.the results of that is Gods will for me.ive been sober one day at a time for a while now and i do love the sober life.the promises do come true,again and again,i pray today for another day in Gods world sober....thanks for sharing...i'm tony an alcoholic....


Member: Melody H
Location: Ellicott City, Maryland
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 11:21:07 AM

Comments

Thanks Avril for your comments. Self-Pity is debilitating sometimes. I I first got sober I used to always complain that life wasn't fair until some "stupid" old-timer told me that if life where fair then I would be dead. The reality of his statement didn't sink in for a while. Once I truly understood God's grace did I get what that old guy meant. I had bitched and complained about my life since I was a small child. I was never grateful and whatever travesty was happening to me was surely someone else's fault. After working the steps, and several years in the program, I have come to appreciate personal accountability. I have to accept responsibility for my life, my feelings and my actions. That is a difficult thing to do when you are and always have been a victim. I just simply prayed to a God that I was struggling to believe in to help me change my life. I did not want to go back to that horrible existence when I was drinking. The promises say that those feelings of useless and self-pity will leave us. This happens if you stay around long enough. I hope and pray that all the new people here can find peace in sobriety. It can be so difficult but the rewards are awesome. Keep coming back. melodyhiggins@hotmail.com


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA - USA
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 3:29:05 PM

Comments

Dear Dr.; Forget about the months, it's this day you gotta get through... Do you have a promise of tomorrow? I don't. Guess what - if I drink today, it'll be a lousy day and everyday after that, and I'll pray for death again. 8 months is better than 8 weeks, 8 weeks is better than 8 days, get it? I'm concerned about these hurdles you mentioned. Life gives us enough, no need to be TESTING yourself. If you're going around booze and you don't have to, KNOCK IT OFF. I'm not a psychologist (not even sure I spelt it right), so I don't know anything about "Acknowledging progress', but I do know something about 'false pride.' It's not up to me, but your sponsor ought to kick you in your ass. You think this is a game? Keep jerking yourself off - Alcohol will win everytime. If you don't have a sponsor, get one. Don't play when it comes to your life. This is Life or Death Dumb Ass... Peace, Out - Joe L.


Member: Anne Marie
Location: Seattle
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 3:59:43 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. Anne Marie, here, an alcoholic. I am announcing my heart-felt intent to get active in this program starting TODAY and do the work it takes to not take a drink, no matter what. I feel renewed in my desire to become sober and am not happy with how alcohol has been effecting my life. I am ready to ask for help and do what it takes to make it from day to day. Thanks. Anne Marie


Member: Sam C
Location: San Francisco, CA
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 5:21:23 PM

Comments

Charles B. You are on the right track. Your share indicates that you value the people in your life even when you have fallen short of expectations. Some truths can only be seen from the floor of the valley of lonely despair and not so clearly from the mountaintops of high achievement. And thanks for your share, it helped me.

You can see the danger signs and your practical side knows where the work gets done.

We often think of recovery as something big and monumental that happens all at once, but usually it is a thousand small steps that gets the job done. Try passing up one bar, just once, or saying no to just one drink, they are the brick and mortar that build the wall that will keep you safe.

Brenda K. Yeah, ditto for me on the comparing, loner, weight,self-suffiency & crutch thing. And, yes, the weekend was a bitch and somehow I survived it.

Sam C


Member: Dave W
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 5:30:29 PM

Comments

early sobriety was tough but I had nowhere else to go butAA. Now I am 14 years sober (almost)and have just had immobilizing knee surgery. I have some pain but a drink never entered my mind. Yet, I know how insidious this disease can be and I just wanted to be with my AA family.


Member: Clifton H.
Location: Bryan, Oh.
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 5:54:05 PM

Comments

Self pity for me was always there. Even as a kid I could hear my sisters and parents telling me that I was no good. I would never amount to anything.So as I grew up, I began to think these things on my own. Every time I would do something good for myself or someone else I would do something to get myself into trouble so I could feel bad for myself. Every chance I got I would make others feel bad for me too. But, going through the program, I learned that self pity was just another excuse to drink some more. I finally learned to feel good about being alive and sober just one more day! Thanks for listening.


Member: Cher
Location: Maine
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 6:33:04 PM

Comments

Hi all..Cher, alcoholic from southern Maine. This cunning disease WANTS to get me alone and feeling sorry for myself. I am one to want to isolate when I am hurting or feeling the self pity. (sort of like an animal licking it's wounds) I know today that when I start feeling like hiding in my room and not going to a meeting, it is the time that I HAVE to go to save my life. To the person asking for help....normally in a discussion meeting when someone openly asks for help, another will talk to that person after the meeting and give them phone numbers and meeting schedules....here however...I have to openly in the meeting, tell you that your best chance of quality sobriety is to find out where your local AA meetings are held (phone book under AA) and go there and get a few friends that you connect with....and look for a temporary sponsor. kThis is no game...but life can and is fun when you follow the suggestions that seem to work.

I came home from work sick today....waaahhh...I do like my job but it is physically demanding. I was dizzy and nauseous...I slept alsmost all day and now I want to go to my regular Monday night speaker meeting where all the oldtimers hang out. I don't think I will be making it there tonight....funny how the things that make me feel deprived today are like when I can't go to my meetings.

I feel better already...spiritually and emotionally...still in my bed for the most part though. thanks CP'ers for keeping this place alive.....

*smiles Cher


Member: Al D
Location: CT
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 6:42:26 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, Al here, Alcoholic. 11 days sober today. Ive been working my behind off for the 11 days of sobriety, sometimes feel it is not worth it. But I know if I return to my old ways I may be dead within another 11 days. Taking one day at a time, going to meetings once and sometimes twice a day. The compulsion has been so strong the last couple of days that it is driving me crazy, so I go to a meeting, raise my hand and say " Hi my name is Al and I'm an alcoholic" and I usually feel better by the time I leave. I too am looking for another job at this time, as a matter of fact I have an interview tomorrow. Ive been getting on my knees and praying for help hoping it will come. reading the Big Book as much as possible. I'm scared, confused, anxious but I'm still trying 1 day at a time Thanks for letting me ramble on.

Time for a meeting!!!!!!!


Member: Steve E.
Location:
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 7:00:54 PM

Comments

When I am feeling self pity, I can not have any gratitude-the thing that saved my life.As difficult as it is I have had to try to find something to be grateful for and then add to it to get out of the self pity. Working with others always works for me, God bless you all.


Member: MKB
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 6/11/01
Time: 9:45:58 PM

Comments

Hello everyone. I cannot comment on the topic because I really need to share something. I am 33 and have been sober 10 years. I am fortunate, but I have problems. Other problems than alcoholism. Since it affects my alcoholism and I really thought maybe I should drink today, I am going to go into my other problems a bit. I come from a very abusive home. I dont mean the typical abuse, hitting, yelling, so on. My father was sadistic, and liked to terrorize. He was cruel, and he scared me so bad I thought I would loose my mind. He was also sexually abusive. At 6 years old I was loosing my mind and afraid my father would kill me. As a result, I have some mental problems and am somewhat disabled, I am also limited in my life from what is to most others 'normal'. I do not in any way seem disabled-I have a lot going for me too. My problem is that I have such a problem with letting others get to know me. It is painful because I feel that if I do take more of a chance than I have, if the other person doesnt like me i feel like I will break. I feel fragile. And I have this fear somewhere in my mind that I should still hide the fact that I was sexually abused-I cant let others know me because then they will know the horrible things that I did. I am ashamed. I know that these things are not true, but I have a hard time feeling like they arent. I have changed drastically since I came into the program. I had to - like we all do.

What happened is this-I have a friend that i am going to loose if I dont stop this fear - at least somewhat - because I am pushing him out of my life. I can not handle loosing this person. He is someone that is very special to me and he has a lot to offer as a friend. He has done so much good for me since we met- and I love him dearly. And it would break my heart if we werent friends-because I was too afraid. Its one thing to not be friends because it just doesnt work, its another to loose someone due to fears. I am scared to death to show who I am. I am not exaggerating. I am tired of things being taken away because of my past. I can not have him go away also. I know I dont have to do it all at once, you know be Ms. Open USA- But I decided today that I am not going to live like this anymore. I am going to get more involved in AA. In my home group and the people whether I like it or not and whether I am afraid or not. It will not go away unless I confront it. Unless I take a chance and open up little by little and trust that I will not be crushed, or if I am incredibly hurt that I will be able to handle it. I will never be able to live with myself if I do not give this friendship a real chance by TRYING to do the best I can. thank you for hearing me. thank you AA for giving me life and love- and i want to say, as i usually dont even show it that i love and respect you people, fellow AA's from the bottom of my heart and I find you the most courageous(how do you spell?) of people. MKB


Member: Dale S
Location: California
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 1:46:30 AM

Comments

CharlesB It is so simple maybe too simple for some. 1.) Go to meetings 2.) Get a sponsor 3.) Read the big book of AA. 4.) Do the steps 5.) become happy joyous and free. This process work best if you don't drink while you doing it. LOL Hang in there bro your on the right path.

he-he - Actually, my friend, you summed it up rather well.

Don - You, my friend, are a bright light in a dark storm.

Kerry - Kerry at least your being honest which is much better than most. Just get a sponsor and do the steps. It doesn't mater what your motives are. Like baking a cake, if you follow the instructions you will get a cake. It doesn't mater why you wanted it. The steps are the recipe for sobriety and a wonderful NEW world.

Mike M - Thanks Mike, to the point instructions on how to get sober. It just can't fail.

Rick L. - You too Rick, you told him what needs to be done.

Mark Dr.D - A virtual smack upside the head wont work! The only solution AA has are the 12 steps. "I felt great then; BAM! Out of nowhere" Mark that BAM! is a what the big book calls 'A strange mental blank spot' It will happen again. The book says we have no defense against the strange mental blank spot.

Anne Marie -- 12 steps! ---

Sam C - Right on! The longest journey starts with the first step,

MKB - Come to Bimini--- http://www.delphi.com/soberfriends/start/ --- It is a message board where you can talk about things without the fear of hostility. We are a group of about 50 alcoholics. You will find people there that you can talk to, and they will understand. We can also direct you to other groups that can deal with you other problems specifically. You will need to use an e-mail address to get in. You can get a free private e-mail address at hotmail or yahoo. If you have any troubles getting a free email account or getting in Bimini just e-mail me at dales71@yahoo.com. I am more than happy to help a fellow survivor.


Member: Jen B.
Location: California
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 1:49:38 AM

Comments

Hi folks, Jen here, alcoholic. Welcome to all the newcomers...stay. You're in the right place.

Pity pots...sigh. Well yes, I am WAY familiar. I try to remember every day my best thinking got me here: it's not pretty, there's a lot of wreckage, and it's not going to resolve itself my way or in my timing.

Someone I know says: we do the rowing, higher power controls the rudder. When we try to control the rudder we go nowhere...cuz God don't row. This alway sends me into gales of laughter..I get off on a personal sob story and stir up my drama, he just looks at me and says "row." LOL

In this early stage of sobriety (97 days) I have to stay micro focused. I literally ask my higher power for direction all day long for every silly little thing that stumps me. I get mad at Him when I don't see progress on various fronts, but experience has taught me that trust and turning it over to Him is by far the safest, wisest, most stress free option for me.

The promises ARE coming true...not as I asked, not as I wanted....better.

Thanks for letting me share.

Rowing,

Jen B.


Member: Helen Z.
Location: Lancaster
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 2:39:55 AM

Comments

I feel for all of you. I felt the same when I first joined the Fellowship. However, pitty pot will get you nowhere, Higher Power will. Use the Big book the 12/12 go to meetings and call your sponsor. Meeting makers make it!!!! I have a few 24 hours in this Fellowship but today I need you all and my Higher Power close to me. I have terribly mixed emotions with this execution deal. What he did is crazy and horrible - so many lives - but I find myself praying for his soul. (Also crazy?)


Member: antia e
Location: long beach, ca
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 5:15:03 AM

Comments

my name is anita and i'm an alcoholic. i'm grateful to be sober and grateful for this forum. just turned 4 last month. i can relate to the self pity rather well. i've been home bound for the last 13 or so days with a virus. dr says that it could take another 2 weeks or so to be able to do my regular activity. haven't been to a meeting in that long and miss my home group and the fellowship terribly. i've made calls and got online...read my bb and other aa related books but it doesn't take the place of being in a meeting physically. trying to have acceptance of my illness and just take directions from my dr.'s. it will pass eventually. newcomers, get to a meeting, build your foundation with a sponsor, follow the directions in the big book. thank you for your shares


Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 6:35:23 AM

Comments

Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, Self-pity is something all of us knows about. We seem to think that nothing we do are know is not worth anything than we decide to pick up a drinking thinking this will help every thing look a little rosier, but it just makes matters worst. Being sober has help me relieves that with the bad there always comes the good and dealing with things up front has help me with the self-pity that I have felt . So keep taking it one step and one day at a time.


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA - USA
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:43:42 AM

Comments

Dear Dr. D.; I apoligize if I was off base yesterday. My goal was just to get you through the day. If you're not making Beginner's Meetings, you ought to. And if you are, you're not listening. There is no graduation from this program. I meant to leave my e-mail also. From now till 3:45, I'm at jleach@harmonind.com and after that, it's LeachFtown@aol.com Just For Today - Joe L.


Member: Mark Dr. D
Location: NH
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:45:53 AM

Comments

((Joe L. Philly)) Well----"Ask and ye shall recieve." Thanks for the ass-kickin'. Actually just posting the note yesterday helped meget over my stinkin' thinkin' pretty well. I also did some positive things that got me back on track. Had a nice talk about the matter with someone at the meeting that I went to last night. But all your points were well made and thanks for caring. As far as putting myself at unneccesary risk; I haven't. All the instances I referred to were business trips where in the past I would have picked up. I can't live in a bubble so I'm going to have to face these things. Believe me, I don't hang out at bars or linger around liquor stores.

As far as your statement about false pride, let me explain. Last night my Step meeting was about Step 10. Now everyone at my table had similar stories to tell about being pissed off and blasting people in the process. They also ackowledged that they were Type A, pisshead, my way or the highway drunks. I'm not. I don't expect anything to be my way. I suffer from a lack of pride. No matter what I accomplish, I downgrade it. Where most drunks want the world to revolve around them, I want to be a ghost. I'm sure that there are plenty more like me out there, so I feel it's important to make that distinction.Believe me acknoledging my positives is the foundation of my recovery. I don't suffer from delusions of grandeur, but delusions of adequacy.


Member: Brenda K
Location: CT
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:59:54 AM

Comments

I know you are only suppose to post once but I read some good entries and had to reply. Mark Dr. D, I suffer the same "delusions of adequacy" which causes me to knock every accomplishment down two notches; it's this no self esteem issue that I haven't even begun to deal with. Funny because to me, it meant I was modest and grounded while the rest of the world was conceited. Joe L., you keep hitting it where it hurts! I am just learning all of this, admitting I am powerless over alcohol, that I cannot have just one drink, I have to have more, and I am realizing testing myself is not a good idea either. I have never gone this long without a drink and I am grateful to this site and everyone who contributes, I come here every single day and it is helping me.

To all-have a good day!


Member: Teresa
Location: Texas
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 10:11:12 AM

Comments

Teresa here, alcoholic trying to keep it simple. I remember when I was newly sober and reading everything I could get my hands on about alcoholism. I learned just enough to be 'dangerous' as my sponsor said. LOL! Anyhow, today I just try to ask God for help in the morning, thank Him a jillion times throughout the day and fall into bed at night grateful to be sober another day. I've been doing this for over 13yrs now and by golly, it just keeps getting more simple. I've discovered that I'm a 'complicated' alkie and try to leave the 'mental masturbation' for those more qualified to handle that. All I really care to know about alcoholism these days is this: If I drink any booze, I get really crazy and when I get nutso, I wind up in jail, a ditch, or with someone I don't even know. Today, I will keep it simple and try to not bother the rest of the world with my 'low self-esteem' issue and get a life by being grateful and to realize that I'm to be of 'maximum' service to God and my fellows. That takes the 'self' out of my worries. I have no self-image today, and for that I'm grateful. Hope you all keep it simple! :-)


Member: Tom M.
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 11:06:08 AM

Comments

Tom, alcoholic. Perfect Teresa from Texas. Just what I needed to hear! You're magic! I've been boo-hooing all over myself for two days and haven't been able to think my way out of it. Then you came along with the perfect words. Thanks. Hey, does anybody else think the higher power was talking to me through Teresa?


Member: MKB
Location: Pennsylvania
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 12:19:01 PM

Comments

Dale S. - Thank you - MKB


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 2:06:14 PM

Comments

MKB, Serious issues for anyone. I, too had a problem with opening up to others. Been sober for many 24hrs now, and can thank the fourth and fifth step for facilitationg this. A sponmsor that YOU connect with and CHOOSE will be a miravcle for , as one was for me. The progarm works. Follow the steps. We ALL have skeletons that bother us, many ran to drink to hide from them. Your sponsor will probably relate very similar experiences or ones just as bad for her. ODAAT You will be in my prayers. Mark


Member: Von
Location: Akron
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 2:19:43 PM

Comments

Thanks for your topic, CharlesB. In your comment you admitted that you are an alcoholic. This morning, before I even read your post, I was struck with a distant memory of when I finally accepted and admitted that I was an alcoholic. It was on the last day of serving my 3 day DUI sentence. I was extremely depressed and scared. Afraid to leave the jail because deep down I knew that the only way I could stop drinking was if I was locked up. Then a counselor sat down with me and said a simple phrase: "I know what you're going through. I know a group of people who will understand you and know exactly what you're going through. You'll never be alone again." That was it. I wept for the first time in forever and just couldn't stop. Afterwards, I felt different inside. Calmer and more peaceful. I knew that even though I was still scared and confused, I would never be the same again.

Something changed inside of me. I didn't mind being an alcoholic if that's what it would take to stop drinking. I was sick and tired of alcohol and the love affair was finally over.

CharlesB, go to a meeting of AA. Go with an open mind and remember to keep your focus on yourself and your recovery. There is hope here. Just don't leave until the miracle happens.

You've accepted and admitted it, now do the footwork. God Bless.


Member: JASON M
Location: AUBURN IN
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 3:18:15 PM

Comments

JASON HERE I MADE IT MY 1ST YEAR WITHOUT A DRINK . ITS BEEN A LONG ONE BUT I HAVE GOT SO MUCH FROM IT I DO NOT WANT TO LOOK BACK. I FEEL MY SELF IN BALANCE AND THE WANT AND NEED FOR THE DRINK ARE GONE FOR NOW. ITS GOOD TO BE SOBER AND ALIVE. WE ALL HAVE SELF PITTY WHEN WE START. ITS HOW YOU GROW IN YOUR NEW LIFE THAT MAKES IT GO AWAY . TO DO THAT YOU NEED TO WORK EVERY DAY ON YOU. SPEND TIME WITH YOURSELF ,GET TO KNOW YOU AGAIN, AND LIKE YOURSELF. THEN WORK ON THE LITTLE THINGS THAT NEED FIXING. GO TO MEETING KEEP COMING HERE AND TIME WILL FIX YOU. THANKS FOR BEING HERE TALK TO YOU NEXT WEEK.


Member: big bob
Location:
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 5:38:58 PM

Comments

i have an 11 inch long ding dong,atre there any girls out there interested ???


Member: sb
Location: new york for now
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 5:46:36 PM

Comments

Susan, alcoholic. Well, no boo-hooing here. I got a serious drunk traffic offense and got to go to my arraignment in an hour. I do feel alone in my situation though because I haven't heard any stories worse than mine! But I must say, that offense got me clean and sober/was my wake up call. I am so happy to have 6 weeks sober! It's a true miracle and I thought I was hopeless and going to be dead by my 33rd birthday. thank guys.


Member: Brenda K.
Location: CT
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:32:30 PM

Comments

...forgot something..Sam C-thanks for your post, it helps to know I am not the only one with those thoughts (trying to improve)


Member: Jennifer
Location: South  Carolina
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:33:01 PM

Comments

Thanks for sharing Susan.

It helps me to try to identify with the disease instead of comparing side affects from the disease. One of my side affects was a week long coma. Which I guess wasn't too bad except it diminished my IQ to 77. It took several months just to memorize my phone number again. Anyway, if I waited around trying to find someone who went through that exact experience then I might be drunk now. What I do relate to in every meeting is how one drink always mysterously turned into more when I was determined to only have one. And how I kept picking up that first drink even when I didn't want to drink on that particular day. This I was told was the classic sign of alcoholism-- the inability to leave it alone even when I wanted too.

Good luck on finding a power greater than yourself that will help solve your problem. My prayers are that this higher power not be the court system in the future.


Member: bob
Location:
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 7:41:26 PM

Comments

sue want to see my dingdong?


Member: Bonny G.
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 8:24:02 PM

Comments

Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic, thanks for the topic on self pity. I'd love to go there, but instead of drowning in it, I've learned it's how long I allow myself to be there that is the measuring stick to my sobriety. I'd like to say my job is yuck, but it's also one of the easiest jobs I've ever had. The fact that my mother is now moving here and we are going to live together, and she still drinks on occassion. I'm still fairly new to Hot Springs, and I work graveyard shift, so there's little chance of dating. Oh well, these are things that are just a part of life. Special thanks to the fella who is also in step meetings, my home group was just finishing the 10th Step and starting the 11th Step this week. For newcomers, find a step study group, these meetings are so important. I've been sober 7 years, my first sponsor insisted that I attend step and Big Book meetings. And I am so glad! Thanks folks for having this line open for me to share. So glad I found an online meeting place. This is my new toy.


Member: big bad bob
Location:
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 8:52:26 PM

Comments

i have a big corona for monica leudinski


Member: Sam L
Location: Hong Kong
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 9:42:20 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Sam and I'm an alcoholic. About the topic of " Self-Pity",I really reflect my life for the last few years of my life. But I don't want people to few bad for me and at the same time I want to understand I did try my best due the circumstance. I don't want to use alcohol to release the tension of this pity feeling.


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 11:16:42 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!

Excellent topic, Charles B. Admitting I needed help to stay sober was the key point in taking Step 1 for me. I had admitted I was an alcoholic to myself a few years before I actually stopped drinking.

My stumbling block was that my big head kept telling me I could stay sober on my own resources. But after being beaten into submission by alcohol, I realized I needed help.

That is when AA and then sobriety came into my life.


Member: laura
Location:
Date: 6/12/01
Time: 11:49:03 PM

Comments

Hi my nane is laura and i,m a drunk I thought that I posted yesterday but I gess not well. I have a friend in some trouble he needs to go to acoa does anyone know a number i can call to find out have tryed everthing but nothing.AND my sister just got sober and its been a mounth she is doing everthing I didn't I was despret and angry and full of self pitty she on the other had is a queen in my parents house and has a new boy friend and has just left her husban I can't tell her anything even though I'm ten yrs sober I just her little sister.some I can help and other i gess I leave to god. laura


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 2:23:16 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.I am a firm believer that at the basic core of our disease is self centeredness.We are ego-maniacs, with low self esteem. We all have days when we feel sorry for ourselves, thats human nature.But for this alcoholic the quickest way out of self pity is to work with another alcoholic.We have one of the most selfish programs on Gods Green earth, but it is a sefishness line no other.It is 90% give and 10% take.TO KEEP IT I MUST GIVE IT AWAY. Today I can honestly say that I have everything I need and most of what I want.I can go thru a day one of two ways. Don't pick up the first drink, no matter what.Trust God,in all my affairs, and help another alcoholic if possible. Thats not a bad way to live, or I can try it the self-centered way. Don't pick up the first drink no matter what. Forget about God and trust Jack in all my affairs and be totally miserable. I think I will stick with first option for today as best I can.Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila,PA - USA
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 9:40:20 AM

Comments

Mark Dr. D; I'm glad you made it. I realize this is a tough format to get to really know people. If there'e one thing I can do, that's get one day. Why? Because I have to, without today, there is no tomorrow. To drink is to die - that's all I know. Thanks to everyone for being here. Peace3, Out - Joe L.


Member: Robin C.
Location: Akron, Ohio
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 9:54:11 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Robin, and I Am A Real Alcoholic. I have been struggling with this program for a year and am grateful to say that I have been able to put together 67 continuous 24-hour periods. I real miracle for an daily drinker of 25 years!!! :)

Today I've felt good. I'm okay today, still an alcohoic, but for me that is okay today, because today I do not have to drink. That's quite a miracle. Sometimes I didn't feel like I had to drink...but I always did. I guess that is part of the cunning, baffling, and powerful thing going on. That I told myself that I didn't HAVE to drink, but then I still did...Every time, Every day...So, in reality I really didn't have a choice at all. I thought I was making a choice to drink...but that was my only option, so there really was no choice at all. Today I have a choice...and that is only by the Grace Of God...and I choose not to drink.

I am so grateful that I have that choice today and that I choose not to drink. And it's kinda nice that I feel fairly comfortable to know that I DON'T know what tomorrow will bring, but today I choose not to drink. Tomorrow, God willing I am blessed with another tomorrow, I will ask God for his will for me and guidance and hopefully I will again have a choice and I pray that again I choose not to drink.

Thanks for being here, to help me stay sober another day!


Member: jill
Location:
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 12:03:56 PM

Comments

Hi my name is jill Not to be mean but What is a REAL ALCOHOLIC ?someone that just drinks or someone that has drand for a long time or someone that is old or homeless a man or a women. If you have what I have I didn't have a choice it was so overwelming that I could not even shower or to be botherd with life. so am i a real Alcoholic i gess some people woul'nt say so i was 22yrs old when I got sober and know i'm 33 the guys in the meetings use to say i spilled more then you drank I still think bill and bob didn't have to justify if you have a problem with you drinking or you drinking is controlling you then you belong to this common solution witch is aa and it works for drunks .one of the old timers in a meeting use to say there is a god or there is not! you look for a way in or a way out.there are some musts in the big book . I don't have a choice about staying sober god does that for me, but i have a choice wether i go to a meeting or if i walk by a drunk that needs help. please read the big book the first 160 pages are what aa is and it will tell what to do i dont keep myself sober i show up this desease is centerd in the mind and a old friend told me who told you could think anyway! jill


Member: alternity
Location: ndianapolis
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 12:04:14 PM

Comments

i would have had 5 months but a few months ago i thought that 'one beer' would not hurt.

i have been drinking everyday and last night i rode my bike into a parked car. i think i broke my jaw and left index finger and thumb.

i cant get to a meeting so this is a blessing.

it gets worse real quick.

i would have everything in the worls going for me by now..but i have lost my home, my wife ,my job...everything...yeah its real to be on the pitty pot today,,,,,,,,owch!!

thanks for letting me share


Member: George G
Location: Miami
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 12:29:18 PM

Comments

I'm tying to stay stopped. I'm on my second day of not drinking. I went on a week long bender. I have trouble getting to face to face meetings. I've been around the program a long time. Thankyou for letting me share.


Member: George G
Location: Miami
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 12:29:24 PM

Comments

I'm tying to stay stopped. I'm on my second day of not drinking. I went on a week long bender. I have trouble getting to face to face meetings. I've been around the program a long time. Thankyou for letting me share.


Member: Teresa
Location: Texas
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 12:38:52 PM

Comments

I'm not sure if i'm 'supposed' to share again, but here I go: In reference to the term 'real alcoholic' the adjective 'real' before the term alcoholic is used several times throughout the big book. Therefore, sometimes when I share from behind the podium, I state that I'm Teresa and I'm the type of alkie the big book talks about: A 'real' one. Here's two questions one can take to determine if they are a 'real' alcoholic: Big book, pg.44, 1st paragraph: "If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when DRINKING, you have little control over the amount you take, you are probably alcoholic." It's that simple! Thanks for 'listening' Teresa, REAL alcoholic. :-)


Member: Lavonne A
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 3:31:24 PM

Comments

Lavonne, real alcoholic here. I am in the Big Book over and over. I was an alcoholic well before I ever drank. I was always restless, irritable and discontent. I felt "less-than." I...I...I...! I am my own biggest obstacle and have always been...IF I am not letting God do His job, I am anyway. If I get me outta the way, God performs some pretty great miracles. Welcome to the new folks--Charles, Brenda, George, Alternity. If you haven't found yet what you need to hear to believe that "it" works, please keep coming back. Hell, you can even keep drinking if you wanna--just keep coming back. For me, admitting I was an alcoholic was not enough...I had to ACCEPT it. From there, my recovery began. We get to choose what our bottom is. We can make choices. But this disease will take me to jails, institutions or death if I drink. I may not always LIKE my life, but I still have one. And for that, I am grateful to each of you and especially to my own Higher Power. Thanks for reading, since you did.


Member: CHris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 5:04:08 PM

Comments

Chris, here. ALcoholic/addict/bulimic...Self pity...was and is a big one for me. I realy enjoyed being the martyr. It gave me a real high... and gave me plenty to feel sorry about. However, I think that I finally realized that it didn't really do me any good. I wanted either to punish every one else for doing me "wrong" or I wanted them to feel sorry for me. I finally figured out that " they " didn't care that much about how I felt. Working the steps and growing up are what make me feel better about myself today. Self pity just kept me stuck. I am not saying that I don't still get on the " pity Pot" every now and then, but I can at least realize when I am doing it...... I think I have been enabling my kids(19 & 22) in their own drinking habits. I prety much have been in denial about it. I have no idea how much they drink...I used to think that they didn't drink too much...now I am trying to get into reality, and realize that they atleast drink as much or more as other young people. I think that I just couldn't handle that my kids were "drinkers" . Not mine!!..I just Hope I can live in reality enough to realize it if they begin to have a problem with it...... Till next week...


Member: Bruce C
Location: Montreal
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 5:27:34 PM

Comments

i was hoping that some one could tell me where I can get a meeting list on the net.I have just moved to the woods and there are not alot of meetings indicated onthe meeting list here But I know for a fact that there are more than that.


Member: Jimmy K.
Location: South Bay Area, CA
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 6:15:01 PM

Comments

This site is pretty cool, but can anyone tell me of a REAL TIME online meeting? I recently relapsed after having 16 months and staying sober these days is a struggle. Just getting through the day without "the shakes" is half the battle, and my head is constantly out to get me! Any websites?


Member: C.J. M
Location: Black Ankle.N.C.
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 7:15:34 PM

Comments

Hey All, I'm c.j. a cross addicted alcoholic You know that everyone here in N.C. says Hey.:)(A little country humor) First of all Bruce;have you tryed typeing in www.aa.org and when that comes up look for the place you live, I'm sure Montreal is listed.When you find a meeting you like you'll know. Now for Mississippi Charles, Only you know when it's time to stop. AA gives you the tools to do this. I for one used this program for everything I could get out of it. I used it to keep my parole officer off my back, to keep the Judge happy,to keep my Dr.from washing his hands of me,to keep my wife,when I had a wife; from raising to much hell, and to make everyone think I was trying to do something with my life other then pissing it away.I was only fooling my self. On Dec.8,1998 my Dr. told me that I had 2 yrs to live. All of a sudden I became more afraid of dying then I was of living.I came back to the only place that had never told me to leave and not come back,AA.I started to listen and got myself a sponser, one that I couldn't fool. My sponser told me that, when you hurt long enough and when hurt enough people long enough, you will stop drinking, anyone will.Then you have to learn how to live and AA gives you the tools with which to do this. Today my health is not the best,but I have to admit that I feel better than I have in 10 Yrs. and I can say that 3&1/2 yrs. ago I was told that I had 2 Yrs. to live. I couldn't have done it without the help of AA and all of you people. God bless you all.Charles; all I feel I can tell you is to get yourself a big book, don't drink and go to meetings, find you a sponser,and start to practice the principles of AA in all your affairs.How are your daughters going to take it when you are locked up or God forbid, boxed up.I'm told those are the only two options we have if we keep drinking. I thank yall for allowing me to share.Till next time C.J. says Hey


Member: Seamus S
Location: IRELAND
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 7:39:26 PM

Comments

Seamus S alcoholic I have been sober a good few days and I can still get it wrong sometimes. But when I thrust in god and let HIM do the driving I enjoy life so much more, I am living proof that A.A. WORKS Icame to A.A from the streets where Iput myself for the love drink ye showed me there was a whole new way of living .I am happy now and there is room for self pity MEETINGS A SPONSER AND THE TWELVE STEP OF AA The only answer

SO have a good day and remember there is only ONE DAY


Member: Lani D.
Location: Tempe, AZ
Date: 6/13/01
Time: 11:18:50 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Lani I'm an alcoholic. Ann Marie, welcome and don't drink today. This is a good meeting, with so many people from all over the world, and one commonality, we are all members of the family of AA! This is something to be very grateful for. I have hope today because I had been on my pity pot and not feeling a part of in the program and my sponsor gave me a really profound suggestion: Take a service position at my home group or offer to take the AA phones. There is nothing that will make me feel more "a part of" than acting as if I AM a part of. Sometimes the simplest suggestions are the ones that work the best.


Member: anniekelley
Location: blue ridge mountains
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 12:56:56 AM

Comments

I think everybody winds up on the pity pot from time to time...but how long can you stay there? My comfort zone is narrow and I work at staying in it today. Yesterday I celebrated 11 years, and today I know that it's that attitude of gratitude that keeps me connected to God and keeps me sober. Like lots of us--I had a problem with trust, I came from a home where there was at least one alkie at all times, and I didn't know my butt from a hole in the ground.AA has taught me that there is a solution to these living problems I have. Stopping drinking was only the beginning. You have to want sobriety more than you want to be drunk. Fortunately for me, I finally hit the proverbial wall at 100 mph, and was so sick and so alone that even AA looked good. I was so beaten up by the booze and drugs, that I became willing to take suggestions. I became willing to listen. I became willing to go to any lengths to stay sober. And now, picking up a drink is not my first thought, even in the face of unspeakable things. It just gets better and better. Keep coming back, you guys, and don't quit 5 minutes before the miracle. They always told me:"Poor me, poor me...Pour me a drink". This program teaches us that nothing will ensure sobriety like working with other alcoholics. When I'm thinking about you-I ain't thinking about me. I am active in AA-I sponsor, I wash coffee cups, I lead meetings- I clean up after meetings. I talk, I listen and I pray. And some days, my life is better than I ever thought it could be. And some days it gets a little crummy--but never-NEVER- is it as bad as it used to be. I am happy, joyous and free--what a way to be ! Thanks for everyone's shares. Makes me remember why I don't drink: I don't ever want to go through that first year again ;-)


Member: cory w.
Location: austin tx
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 2:24:21 AM

Comments

i think you took that drink a long time ago,maybe before you got online. willingness and action are your best friends when in doubt. know god...know peace...no god...no peace. let go, we wait here to help.


Member: Carol
Location: MN
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 4:37:07 AM

Comments

Carol here, still an alcoholic, Every once in a while I have to crawl into that big bag of crap and wallow around until I am so thoroughly saturated I can;t stand the smell of myself Only then am I willing to crawl back out and take a really long shower of the program to get the stink off. More meetings I get to, more stuff I read and more people I talk to less it happens. I have a daily reprieve from alcohol which is directly proportional to my spiritual condition. Woke up out of sorts, restless, irritable and discontent, slept in so started my day different. Immediatly after praying I noticed I was right back on track. God I turn my will and my life over to asking only for knowledge of your will for me and the power and the willingness to carry it out. I ask for your guidance and protection, that you direct all my thoughts words and actions that they may be done to honor, glorify and serve you. When I remember there is a God and I'm not it, then life goes on very well. God bless you all and my love to you. Carol


Member: Ann O.
Location: San Francisco
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 1:07:10 PM

Comments

Jimmy K. - aol has several real time meetings everyday. Keyword "aa online meeting". Good luck.


Member: cher449
Location: southern Maine
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 4:35:00 PM

Comments

Best realtime meeting on the WEB....for me anyway is a registered group called The Winner's Circle......

Here is the url

http://www.geocities.com/HotSprings/2609/meet.htm


Member: John K
Location: El Sobrante, CA USA
Date: 6/14/01
Time: 6:54:24 PM

Comments

Happy 24 hours everyone!

This "topic" is the 1st step, yes?

((Charles B)) You took the 1st step now. I hadn't killed" anyone driving or in a drunken brawl but the "yets" are waiting for us all if we coniue with the "bondage" of alcahol.

Keep praying "it" works it really does.

(((((Brenda K))))) 8 days! Quite an achivement! Congratulations!

I'm from CT too, Nowralk. Ever hear of it?

(((((Ann Marie))))) Welcome! Your in for quite a roller coaster ride. It's worth it, it really is!

(((((anniekelly))))) 11 years! Awesome in its entirety. Cogratulations!

Love in Sobriety,

John...jfkent@earthlink.net


Member: John K.
Location: El Sobrante, CA USA
Date: 6/15/01
Time: 3:43:47 AM

Comments

(((((Brenda K))))) A typo correction:

I'm from CT too, Norwalk. Ever hear of it?


Member: Mark B
Location: Grand Forks AFB
Date: 6/15/01
Time: 10:30:01 AM

Comments

Mark, alcoholic. Well, we made it, and I now am residing at Grand Forks AFB North Dakota. Hit a few meetings here during the last few days and its nice to know that this trip works here as well as all the other places I've been during my trudge down the road of happy destiny. More later, Mark


Member: lieratchy
Location:
Date: 6/15/01
Time: 12:19:21 PM

Comments

crossdressers are homos


Member: JOSE
Location:
Date: 6/15/01
Time: 3:13:32 PM

Comments

YES THEY ARE


Member: Brian K
Location: Hollywood, Ca
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 2:32:59 AM

Comments

Brenda K 8 days thats beautiful, its such a not easy thing i have a year and half almost and it takes time me im soo impateint i want everything to work for me now!!!!Yes i am an alcoholic i know this not because of the past but my minda says things like right now be fixed, life work for me but i have to just let go its difficult at times i just feel kinda stuck i dont have a car so i cant always get to meetings and. I dont know who said they hate thier job meee toooo!!! But that will change in time though action and working this program. i mean im in college imagine that ? coming from where im from im not gonna tell you the hell that i created cause well i dont think it helps me or you....

I just want to tell people this disease kills not to ask for your pity but to state my father my cousin and grandfather are all gone from drinking too much i never really mention it but it bothers me me i want to live.

thank you for listening


Member: Brian K
Location: Hollywood
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 2:35:10 AM

Comments

ps i was born in CT many moons ago too..


Member: Shelley
Location: Houston
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 6:33:44 AM

Comments

Shelley here, I am an alcholic, I have known it for years. I have told myself that I will quite tomorrow or next week, or when we move and get settled again. Well I am still telling myself that,hopefully today will be that day. I have been coming to this site reading your comments I have the big book, spent many years in alanon so I know the program works. Just hope that this time I can make it. I have been to aa before many years ago, and stayed sober a few times. The longest I have been able to stay sober was 3 months and that was 2 years ago. I really don't want to drink anymore, I don't want to die. I have been lucky that I have never gotten into trouble with the law. God willing I will be able to get the work the program this time. I will be looking for a meeting to attend, but seem to have a hard time with going I always seem to be able to find an excuse not to go. Hopefully the next time I post here I can say I've been sober for 24 hours, maybe more.


Member: chris w
Location:
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 9:06:46 AM

Comments

hey guys im chris and im an alchoholic.31yrs old 2ys7mnths clean.dont pick up the first drink pick up the phone instead.get a sponsor.work the steps thoroughly.go to meetings. an remember its a day at a time!keep it simple.


Member: chris w
Location:
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 9:06:55 AM

Comments

hey guys im chris and im an alchoholic.31yrs old 2ys7mnths clean.dont pick up the first drink pick up the phone instead.get a sponsor.work the steps thoroughly.go to meetings. an remember its a day at a time!keep it simple.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 10:43:37 AM

Comments

Shelly, Get the phone book. Call the AA number there. They are alcoholic too, so you can ask for a favor. If you have trouble making yourself go, then ask them to have someone call you. I'd bet they'll (she)will help, possibly pick you up for a meeting. When the iron is hot! In my area only women sponsor women, so there should not be a problem there. I watched both parents die of liver failure, so can relate. I was still drinking!!!!!!! Years have passed. I stopped when my wife left me. She came back, but we did not have a strong relationship, and she did not work a program and is still drinking today ( I am not an enabler, much, I got to be designated driver two to four times a week.) Our divorce was final the 17th of last mnonth. I have regrets, but few resentments. I love this woman now, but cannot have her. That's O.K. She'll probably never know that In my humble opinion, the best thing anyone ever did for me was her leaving so I could get to AA. Love to all here, ODAAT

Mark W.


Member: ChrisF
Location: New York
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 12:56:39 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Chris and I'm an alcoholic and I also have a mental illness I am new to the board but I decided to look up AA on the net. And here I am I am proud to say that I have about 10 months clean and I also just recently quit smoking. I think I have the 1'st step in my life. But I can definitely say that for me the most important thing is still not to drink and go to meetings. I recently changed sponsors on good terms because I thought he was too controlling. I have a sponsor that I am pretty happy with now. I am very grateful to AA for what it has done for me. I only hope that I can help someone else when the time comes. Sometimes I still feel like drinking or gettting high. So for me this is definitely a one day at a time disease. So if I keep on one day at a time without drinking or getting high. I will have strung a bunch of days together. Anyway hope to visit you people again soon. Thanks


Member: jj
Location:
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 2:54:01 PM

Comments

Jimmy K. south bay heres a link for some online realtime chat rooms with meetings

http://www.alcoholismhelp.com/


Member: Ess
Location: northern ca
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 3:36:51 PM

Comments

Hi all,

Oldtimer having a hard time today. Just thought I'd drop in and say hi


Member: Joy K.
Location: MI
Date: 6/16/01
Time: 10:54:40 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Joy, an alcoholic. I have been sober for a few years, but I haven't been to meetings in a year at least. I have a friend who is not recovering, and I think God put her in my life to make me go to meetings. I have been trying to get her to attend meetings with me, but she refuses, so I guess I better get my ass to a meeting and get some help. The twelve steps have changed my life forever, and it is time for me to do the footwork. Thanks for listening. Serinity to us all.


Member: Kim G
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 1:19:52 AM

Comments

Hi. I'm kim and i'm an alcoholic. I'm really havin a hard time righ now. i want to drink like crazy! but i know i can't because if i do i'll windup right where i left off. i just got my 90 days on thursday and i know i should be past this but i don't know why i can't get it out of my head. my head is just telling me that it's not fair. that i'm only 16 and i should be out partying with the rest of my frends. i'm inside my head most of the time. and it's a constant fuckin battle up there! i just found out that my sister found a lup n her breast and it could be cancerous. so i'm really worried about her which isn't god cauz when i'm nervous i drink. I feel like crawling out of my skin right now! i guess i should really get to a meeting! well that's all i got. thanx for letting me share!


Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 4:20:18 AM

Comments

Hi All,

Was just browsing through some material I acquired when I was in an alcohol treatment centre back in 1976. I came across a chart that shows what is called the 3 phases of alcohol addiction in males, so I put it on my web site. Why they referred to it as in males, I have no idea. Maybe some of you gals can look at it and tell me why. Also, there are a couple of words I dont understand on it as well. Regardless, Im sure most of you will identify with a lot of it. It is just one short page, so if you would like to view it, click on it: http://www.escape.ca/~research/phases.htm

Love - Ken ken_c@kenevacorp.mb.ca ICQ 109568932


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 6:01:11 AM

Comments

I have gotten into self-pity several times in recovery. The best thing I can do at those times is to go to a meeting and talk about it (okay, whine about it). It helps to get it out in the open, but what usually happens is I hear someone else's story at my table who has some REAL problems and I go home feeling grateful that I ONLY have the problems I have.

Thanks for letting me share and thanks for sharing what you do each week.


Member: Norm P
Location: Indiana
Date: 6/17/01
Time: 6:46:34 AM

Comments

Welcome to Charles and all the other newcomers; you're in for the ride of your life but you gotta buy a cheap ticket to get on board. That cheap ticket is a copy of the Big Book(titled "Alcoholics Anonymous") Find all the other recovering alcoholics you can and spend time with them. This book contains the instructions for getting and staying sober. It's like medicine;it doesn't work if you don't take it as prescribed(that is,follow the directions given.) Find somebody as soon as possible who has stayed sober a year or more to help you out. Gotta kick the ideas that "one won't hurt me" and "I can do it myself." It's simple-but it ain't easy and it works better sober than drunk like everything else does. Kathy-you mentioned your job as the cause of your self-pity. It wasn't self-pity on my part; I have just emerged from a 2 1/2 year ordeal with clinical depression. I began to suspect my job was feeding it. I had to walk into the problem every day so how was I going to get better?I recently transferred within my department and have felt like a new man since the first day. All the negative influences disappeared immediately. I had never dreamed that such a minor change would be a solution. I'm not giving advice here but would suggest a good honest look at yourself first followed by taking whatever action seems appropriate and available. The best advice you can get comes from God so talk to Him about it. And,welcome Jason! Good to see a "homeboy" from my neck of the woods. (You might be the only one here who knows where Corunna is.)I live in Fort Wayne but it's never been "home" to me. Keep comin' back!