Member: Marta Y
Location: Antelope Valley, Calif
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 6:50:15 PM

Comments


Member: Maureen W.
Location: Oregon
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 7:09:49 PM

Comments

Honesty! It is a virture that any sober alcoholic can not be without. It would be impossible for me to drink any alcohol and remain honest to my God, myself, or my fellowship. I've only been here alittle while, but being true to myself has given me a new freedom. May we always face the truth about ourselves without fear. So we can remain sain and sober.


Member: mike miller
Location: san diego ca
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 7:15:42 PM

Comments


Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 7:33:59 PM

Comments

Honesty, what a great topic. Without it i wouldnt be here. I believe in honesty 100%. If i am not honest with others how can i expect to hear what i need to hear. If i am honest with them then they can take whatever they need and leave the rest. But I try to be honest with myself about what is important first, If i think someone is a complete arsehole, will it do them good and do me good to voice it, I dont think so. But i do try to only ask questions that i am ready to hear the answer to, an honest answer. Honesty works in so many different ways for me. But it is a very hard concept to grasp, or accept at least it was for me, becuase honesty makes me vulnerable. But i guess if i am being honest with myself no one can hurt me, with my own failings, because i know and accept they are there.

me.sonia@ntlworld.com


Member: Chuck K.
Location: Dallas, TX
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 8:32:50 PM

Comments

Hi, my name's chuck and I'm an alcoholic. By the Grace of God, and His doing for me what I could never do for myself, I've been sober all day. Honesty makes me say that. I've been experiencing this Gift of Grace since May 27, 1984, and I am so grateful.

When I first came in, I knew nothing about honesty. I had been living my whole life by that extreme liar, you know the one, the lying voice in my head that said I was scum and filthy and not worth caring for. And I couldn't shut it up, no matter how much "will" I applied to it. My sponsor told me to work the steps and I would be amazed what would happen. Slowly, I started to recover. But by the time I admitted that dishonesty was one of my major character defects, I was really being haunted by this voice of a sick selfishness--it would crop up when I didn't want it to and make me feel nuts. My sponsor convinced me that honesty was the answer. I didn't know where to begin, and I told him so.

He said: "Why don't you just stop lying?"

It works; it really does. And thank God, for I would either be dead, drunk, or permanently insane by now if it didn't. God Bless all here, and I love you.


Member: kc
Location: ny
Date: 5/27/01
Time: 10:06:16 PM

Comments

i have been sober now almost 45 days, i have been doing fine but since the weather is getting nice i have been wanting to have a drink....what can i do to help this. i am 25 male. thank you all


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Crowsnest,PA
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 12:29:26 AM

Comments

hi everyone,my name is Bruce A and I am an alcoholic,Honesty. The How in how it works. Honesty, open mindness and willingness. Honesty comes first. For me i had to get honest with myself first then I could work the program of alcoholics annonymous. I had to admit i was powerless and that I had this illness of alcoholism.Then comes that cahs registar honesty.I have to work on that also. It those little things that could bring us down. I have been honestly working the aa program for 17 yrs and 9 months but for the grace of god i am sober today. For KC: keep coming back it does work if you work it, Get a sponsor, a home group and work the steps starting with number 1. Love you all, Thank you, Bruce A


Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 8:22:20 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Carol Alcoholic!

Honesty. There are no coincidences in this program. I'm dealing with a honesty issue with my spouse right now. It was my dishonesty that brought about this. I read about how this can be the first step towards a relapse and that scares me. I've been sober 10 years and find this part of my nature is cropping up. Caught me off guard. Along with the feeling of craziness taking over. Thank God I was able to be honest and take the consequences. REalize that old behaviors were repeating themselves. Thank God I did not pick up a drink or drug. That could have been next very easily. Here I am an alcoholic in the middle of a Memorial Day party with relatives full of alcoholism it truly is a miracle I didn't pick up. Now all I can do is pray for forgiveness, understanding and hope to move past this.

Honesty is just what I needed to hear about no matter how painful it can be.


Member: Babette
Location: Jerusalem
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 9:17:01 AM

Comments

I find self-honesty to be the hardest. I can lie to myself so easily that I don't even know I'm lying. But I have faith, that by working the steps that more self honesty will come. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: jim h
Location: island in atlantic
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 11:05:52 AM

Comments

Honesty is important for me in that, ironically, it is the simplest way to the truth and the root of whatever it is that is going on. My nature is to avoid the truth because I am afraid that the reactions by others to what I think or feel will hurt them or me.

Often, the truth is not pretty. I usually am being selfish, dishonest, afraid, lazy, or some other defect which keeps me from being helpful or useful.

I am glad this place is here. I have moved to an island where there are no meetings presently, and I have found that I cannot do this by myself, that after 7 years and change I still need to read the Big Book, pray for help, pick up the phone, and post messages here whether anyone reads them or not.

"The truth will set you free, but it will usually piss you off first." is something that I've heard in meetings.

I am grateful to be alive and sober today. Thanks for all your posts.

PS: KC: I liked to drink in nice weather, too. I also got loaded during storms, snow, wind, rain, nightfall, etc. I guess I wasn't a fairweather drunk... Hang in there, one day at a time.

Everytime I used to feel like drinking and did, I was always in pain afterwards. Everytime I feel like drinking, even today, I go to the program and do anything that calls me related to the program and it is much, much, less painful. Think it through. Progress, not perfection.

Thanks for letting me share--

jim3


Member: Melissa B.
Location: Canada
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 12:06:32 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Melissa and I'm an alcoholic. One of the things I heard about honesty very early in my sobriety is "I'm as honest as my fears allow me to be" and I find that for me is true. I'm willing to try to be honest and as I get a little more time in sobriety and work the steps, I am finding that I am getting a little more honest. It's the self-honesty that is hardest. I lie to myself. Little by little, I am getting better at recognizing the lies. More is being revealed. Time takes time. It's pretty much just as all of you told me it would be. I really do believe that if I don't drink, and I work the steps with my sponsor, I can be an honest person, even with myself.

Thanks for my sobriety, Melissa


Member: Linda M
Location: Canada
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 12:17:34 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Linda, alcoholic. KC - hang in there for one more day...or hour... or minute ...or whatever it takes. Don't give up before the miracle happens because you never know when it's going to happen. I am grateful to be sober since March 12, 1989 and it is now more normal not to drink than to drink. As long as I keep going to meetings and talk to other AA's and my sponsor and keep active in the program and practice the 12 steps, it will likely stay that way. It helps to have a home group. I recently moved to a new city and it took me awhile to find a new group. I felt like a newcomer and an outsider until I joined and became active by making coffee and going to business meetings. You'd be surprised how this changes the way you feel...like you belong and others began to love me when I couldn't even love myself.


Member: RayP
Location:
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 1:05:24 PM

Comments


Member: RayP
Location:
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 1:05:25 PM

Comments


Member: RayP
Location: DEnCo
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 1:27:06 PM

Comments

Hi everybody I!m Ray alcoholic....for many years I "honestly" operated with the idea that I could stop drinking any time I wanted to...the "Truth" was I could!nt......I "Honestly" did!nt think alcohol was to blame for my long list of problems....the "Truth" was that alcohol was not to blame..it was merely the symptom of the real problem...however I was not to be able to see the real problem until I started to stay away from alcohol on a daily basis and get on a daily dose of AA...from all this I realized that Honesty is not necessarily truth.....they only thought they had lost their egoism and fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves...but they had not learned enough of humility,fearlessness and HONESTY, IN THE SENSE WE FIND IT NECESSARY,UNTIL THEY TOLD SOMEONE ELSE ALL THEIR LIFE STORY.....pg 73 BB....thx for allowing me to share...may God Bless us all....for newcomers..go to f2f meetings...RayP


Member: Sarah
Location: NW USA
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 2:10:01 PM

Comments

Honesty? AA has taught me about honesty thru the experience, strength and hope shared for recovery. The constant centering on the primary purpose of the "healing power" has taught me to "use my intelligence putting humility first". Keep coming back KC, you don't have to drink to enjoy the nice weather...in most area's they have AA picnics with recovering drunks having fun in the nice weather. Ask a few people, there might be an AA baseball team, or an AA camp out...the sharing of the experience, stregth and hope, the primary purpose comes in many different ways including ways to have sober fun in the nice weather.


Member: Lionel-C
Location: Campbelltown.Australia
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 3:39:05 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Lionel I'am an alcoholic KC Don't listen to that monkey on your shoulder telling you one drink would be o/k when did we ever have a drink one's to many 100's not enought.Try and remember the last drunk or last drunks.Ask yourself do i want that back or do i want whats on offer in AA .Freedom from the bondage of self.A life that can be happy joyess and free.with no hangover.No guilt 'remorse.or degregation.from the night before.It's your choice.Talk to sommeone about what your feeling.You may wan't a drink but you don't need one .Like Maureen said honesty be honest with your self .Maureen hi great topic.God bless Lionel-C


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 3:58:04 PM

Comments

i found group masterbation is fun


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila.,PA - USA
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 4:51:31 PM

Comments

Hi All; Joe here, definitely an alcoholic. Thanks Maureen for the topic, and kc - hang in, no matter what. I don't agree with Billy Joel that "Honesty is just another word." For me, it is thee word. I've been around a few 24 hours, done some shady things and stayed sober, but I swear the price is 10-fold. I was one of these people who didn't want to change any more than necessary. The old ways were the only ones I knew. Thanks to the Grace of God, and a lot of patient old-timers (at my home group), I'm still around to talk about it. I'm an example of like "What not to do in AA" or "AA - The Hard Way." I've been very dumb, but very blessed. Thanks for dropping in on a holiday weekend. Keep It Simple, But Keep It All... Peace,Out - Joe L.


Member: Terry G
Location: Bury England
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 4:59:42 PM

Comments

I have never had much luck with honesty. I am 4 Months sober early next month and have step 4 looming on the horizon and I hope to be really honest do it and get rid of it in step 5. I already have a priest to do the job he says he has done many step 5's which is comforting. I have got to do a lot of praying because I know if I get this right and get all the bad stuff out I will feel better and be able to move forward a little happier than I am at present. I am Full of fear about my past and, can I get away with being less than totally honest? I know nothing less than total honesty is acceptable to both myself and my higher power. Have a good 24 I love you all Best Wishes Terry


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 5:22:24 PM

Comments

Darn it! Honesty? Again? How come? Do you think, maybe, I am not 100% honest yet? After 10 years of recovery and almost 2000 meetings and sponsors and retreats and mini conferences?

Well you are RIGHT! I am still not 100% honest. I can rationalize with the best of them. I can tell myself black is white. worst part is I believe my own 'stuff'.

So, thank you for this topic Maureen. I am going to go back and read what others have posted and come back during the week. It should be enlightening. Thanks in advance to all who will post their experience, strength and hope this week.


Member: habadaba
Location:
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 5:41:25 PM

Comments

up is up down is down the world aint flat and da earth aint round


Member: MARGE R
Location: CANADA
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 7:28:42 PM

Comments

"TO THINE OWN SELF BE TRUE" YOU HAVE TO AT LEAST BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. THEN YOU NEED TO ADMIT IT TO AT LEAST ONE OTHER PERSON. THAT IS WHAT KEEPS ME OKAY.


Member: Clara A.
Location: Fl.
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 8:23:04 PM

Comments

My name is Clara,recovering alcoholic, wonderful topic, it is the foundatiion of my program. I have heard it is like pealing an onion one layer at a time as we are ready to peel each layer, underneath is self growth, it all starts with our willingness to be honest with ourselves and others. Thanks


Member: Mike M
Location: way out west
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 8:24:43 PM

Comments

The truth is that the beer I had in June led to the felony I was charged with the following Dec. If I had a real good handle on the truth I wouldn't be here or in AA. I pretty much based my life before AA on what I'll call Mike's truth. That didn't work very well and I finally realized that many things that I believed to be true were not. AA gave me a way to move from Mike's truth toward God's truth. I do that by working the steps. One of the absolute truths for me today is "that whenever I am disturbed, no matter what the cause, something is wrong with me." 12&12, step 10. This puts me in the forth column of step 4. I work my way, with help of my friends, to wherever the steps lead me and I become less desturbed over time. I move closer to God's truth one day at a time and this truth is setting me free.


Member: Mitzi P
Location: Delaware
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 9:02:23 PM

Comments

jc If you are going to use a big word like that, at least spell it correctly!

kc Believe it or not, I had to learn to drink other things when the hot weather came. I experimented with all the juices and soft drinks I had missed. Some are healthy; some are not. Nothing is as unhealthy for me as alcohol.


Member: Angie M.
Location: Athens, AL
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 10:11:07 PM

Comments

Hi everyone, my name is Angie, and I am an alcoholic. Honesty is so important in my program, and it's something I'm struggling with right now. I have been sober since 9-25-95, but when I want something, I can still lie to myself just as easily now as I did before AA. I filed for divorce last week, because honestly my husband cannot stay sober, and honestly I know he has a much better chance without me there, but today has been a very rainy, dreary day, and a lot of my character defects have eased back in. I have felt lonely, sad and depressed. My disease has been telling me I should just call him, it really wasn't that bad. But the truth is I was contemplating suicide again, and it was only a matter of time before I picked up a drink too, or at least a pill to ease my pain. I'm having a really hard time right now. I feel really out of touch with everyone. I feel like I'm losing my mind. My sponser is not emotionally available to talk to right now. I did try, but she has kind of fallen away from the program herself. I'm in so much emotional pain right now, and I can't seem to find any relief. My mind tells me I'm doing the right thing, but my disease is fighting back. I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm barely holding on. I've been through things in AA that are just as hard, if not harder than this, but this time I just can't seem to get a handle on it this time. If anyone can help, please do. Thank God you're here. Peace.


Member: lb
Location:
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 10:48:04 PM

Comments

Angie do your foot work what you need to do for yourself. Its going to be ok whatever happens even if your ass falls off pick it up, put it in a bag and take it to a meeting. Don't drink no matter what.


Member: annie k.
Location: blue ridge mountains
Date: 5/28/01
Time: 11:17:33 PM

Comments

Honesty,open mindedness, willingness---HOW the program works. I agree with whoever it was that said I lie to myself so easily...denial-don't even notice I am lying. Geez...I came here a liar, I spent much of my life lying. It's a hard habit to break. I still do it sometimes, after 4003 days of not drinking, I still fall back on the old things that used to work for me (or not) LOL When I worked the steps quite a few years ago, I had no idea that I had to keep being honest on a daily basis. I thought, well, just for the few steps4-9, I could do that. Thank goodness, the more I didn't drink, the more my life changed. I don't have to lie all the time now. I don't have to lie about things that don't matter. But honesty isn't just about lying. It's about all the self-deceptions as well. My comfort zone these days insists on a modicum of honesty in my lifestyle. I no longer think that someday I can drink again. I no longer think that I don't need AA. I no longer think I can do this thing by myself. I no longer think I'm the one in control. I could really relate to Angie...I had to leave an 18 yr marriage because I couldn't stay in the same house with a man who drank constantly(the same way I used to drink). He was the love of my life, and I had to save myself. It was excruciating, and I was only 6 months sober. Choices are not always easy. I have a life today I never would have dreamed possible. I am sober and free and up to my armpits in my life. It's great and I thank God for it every single day. If your sponsor isn't available-find someone who is. There's always a woman somewhere who will take the time to talk to you. You can also email me at daffygal2001@yahoo.com--I'll be glad to talk to you. KC-hang in there, buddy. There's a great book called LIVING SOBER that helped me alot when I was new and it just might help you too. You can get it at most meetings. The most important thing you need to know is that you're not the only person who has gone through this, we've all felt like you do now. Learning that was the thing that saved me-kept me coming back to AA. Kept me from quitting 5 minutes before the miracle happened. Thanks for being here, cyberbuddies. You all add a wonderful facet to my sobriety, and I'm extremely grateful.


Member: Jeff S
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 4:06:31 AM

Comments

Angie, I feel your pain. I am also going through a 'funk'. I seemed to have lost interest in things and am tired a lot. It seems that when I go to meetings that I come out of it for awhile and get re-focused on what is really important in my life; my recovery. I went to an AA dance last night and did not enjoy myself at all. As a matter of fact I was very uncomfortable. It brought back all those feelings of isolation I had when I was a kid. I wasn't able to talk to anyone that I didn't know, and I wasn't too interested in the music. But I did go out and learned that that is not the kind of thing that I am interested in doing for fun. I took a chip tonight for 9 months and I am learning what my interests are for the first time in my life and these dances are not one of them, so even though I didn't have a good time I got to learn something about myself. And that what is life is about today; re-discovering myself for the very first time. I am slowly coming out of my self-pity that I have been in for a couple of weeks now. AS far as Hosesty goes, I feel that I am pretty honest with myself and others today. I try to let my sponser know everything that goes on in my life, so that there will be one person in this world that will know everything about myself. I am evolving into a new person and even though it is sad at times letting go of the 'old' me, it is equally exciting getting to know this 'new' me that is emerging. Thank you all for sharing. Love, Jeff


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 8:26:25 AM

Comments

I am an acoholic being honest to oneself is the first step to regain your sanity and a step towards recovery it is complete insanity with no cure unless spirituality becomes part of your life style and you are honest to yourself.


Member: JW
Location:
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 9:52:24 AM

Comments

I can't tell my husband about my drinking because he would leave me -- I really feel like honesty is not an option right now. I have gotten drunk numerous times over the past few months and he never notices -- but I am pretty good at hiding it. This is my first online meeting. I want to stay sober from this day forward. Please wish me luck all of you.


Member: bj
Location: ar
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 10:27:33 AM

Comments

I was told in the beginning that "half measures will avail me nothing". Now it's my turn to be true to me, so if I lie to you, I'm lying to me. The best way to live each day is as if I were walking with God as my Higher Power, would I want Him next to me when I lie to you? I don't worry anymore if I say "no" or "I'll have to wait and see if I'm available." I stopped mak- ing promises, cause I could never get my act to- gether as a drunk. Honesty for me is being able to tell you something you don't want to hear and still be kind enough to be your friend. My sobriety depends on me being an honest person today. Thanks for the topic.


Member: SCB
Location:
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 1:02:33 PM

Comments

Angie - whether this is any help, I don't know: but I can say that I identify strongly with the feelings you spoke of and the way you described them. Especially when you said, " My mind tells me I'm doing the right thing, but my disease is fighting back" and having been through things just as hard as this before, but for some reason not being able to get to grips with this one.Different situation in my case, but spot on with the feelings.

I have found that writing helps - and the Staying Cyber site is a big help to me; there is a whole lot of great Experience, Strength and Hope here and on the Coffee Pot. You yourself are a good example - you helped me a great deal with what you wrote; knowing one is not alone is strength in itself.

I guess the only thing I can say is stay sober and stay in AA - thank you for helping me, Angie.


Member: JASON M
Location: AUBURN IN
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 1:18:38 PM

Comments

HONESTY WAS A THING THAT HAS CAME BACK TO NOW THAT I AM SOBER. WHEN I WAS DRINKING IT WAS LIKE THERE WAS NO TRUTH. EVERYTHING WAS ONE BIG LIE TO SUPPORT MY DRINKING. ITS GOOD TO KNOW THAT HONESTY WAS JUST COVERED UP . THEN NOT THERE AT ALL. I AM JUST L0VING LIFE CLEAN SOBER AND HONEST. TODAY THAT BEING A SMILE TO MY FACE JUST THINK ABOUT IT THANK FOR BEING HERE TALK TO YOU NEXT WEEK.


Member: Sam L
Location: Ft. Lauderdale
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 1:18:49 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Sam, Honesty to me is a not a sometime thing is a all the time thing. If honesty doesn't exist, no business can be conduct, no love cant be share with each others.


Member: Chris R.
Location: San Rafael
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 2:17:06 PM

Comments

Hi, My name is Chris and I'm an alcoholic.

Wow -- That was my first online meeting. If the topic is honesty then I have to confess that I really do not think I have the patience for online meetings. I get re-envigorated by real meetings in real places with the smell of real coffee and all that stuff. I really have to be at a real meeting for it to seem real.

I'm pretty sad today. No reason in particular. I think I better just check in with God and ask him what he wants me to do today because my plans for me are no good. I'm at work and there is a lull in the project and we are all sitting around, surfing and feeling vaguely filled by anxiety because we know we are all billing and technically we could all be checking the exact same stuff we have already checked a hundred times but if it hasn't changed theres nothing else for us to do and so I end up feeling really sad and uncomfortable and just weird. Searched for a meeting so I could see the smiling faces but I didn't. I heard the words -- or some of them. Some guy wrote that its getting warm and he was worried about how he was gonna stay sober another 24 hours. Where I come from if someone said that some old timer would wonder out loud if maybe that guy hadn't had enough to drink? I'm not an old timer or a newcomer -- I have three years but still I know I only have today, and if I start chaining my sobriety to something that changes as much as the weather I know I will lose everything and picking myself up from behind some damn dumpster again. So I don't care how warm or beautiful it gets. I don't care if rows of lovely naked women carry over ten platters of margaritas to me -- I'm not gonna drink the margaritas or touch the naked women -- I'm just gonna ask God for another day of sobriety and the guidance to do his will. And if I don't think I can hear God's will, as it frequently the case, I'm gonna just do the next right thing. That's another thing I hear where I come from.

That's what I needed to hear just now. Sometimes I pick up the phone at work and call my sponsor when I'm feeling down in a funk like this. Everyone in my field gets like this in the down times. There will be a rush and we will all feel motivated shortly but now it is kind of funky and slow. That's another gift of the program -- I know that this too shall pass -- all of it. The warm weather will turn to blistering and then blustery and then cold -- but inside I have to maintain the same sobriety regardless of the weather. And I can only do that by asking for God's help and guidance.

And now I'm off to do the next right thing.


Member: RobC
Location: Philly
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 3:34:34 PM

Comments

Chris R- I certainly feel more comforted hearing about how you handle things like the weather getting warmer than having an oldtimer say maybe I hadn't had enough to drink (whether it's true or not). Maybe you have to know the oldtimers, or maybe as a newcomer myself I'm a bit sensitive, but the warmer weather and myriad other things can make one want to drink, make me want to drink. Imagining myself behind the dumpster is a good way to warn myself what might happen. Thanks for the reminder.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 3:41:36 PM

Comments

Hello All - LeeEllen here and a recovering alcoholic. Welcome to all the newcomers!

Wow --- lots of good stuff written. Honesty was a word that I obviously did not know the definition of while drinking. Even in the early days of sobriety, when honesty was beaten into my head by my sponsor, I still told myself and others lies. I spent a couple of miserable years dry --- all because I talked the talk, but didn't walk the walk.

It took loneliness (even in crowds), guilt and misery to bring me to my knees and REALLY surrender --- not just my alcoholism, but my whole self. I remember the day as tho' it was yesterday, when I got down on my knees, sobbed, pleaded for God to help me. I got the answer right there and then.

My Higher Power keeps me honest --- if/when I find myself thinking the "old" way, my conscience steps in ---- and who, other than my Higher Power, could that be talking to me? Sometimes I'm not willing to listen and temporarily get away with it, but He always finds me, thru meetings or my sponsor. I'm grateful for AA and all of you people for helping to keep me honest and sober. Thanks for letting me share. Peace, Lee


Member: joe s
Location: mpls. mn.
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 4:29:06 PM

Comments

I seem to have forgotten how to be honest. I,m losing touch with the people that mean the most to me. Why? because I have beem lying to them about what I'm doing. I am in a treatment program, trying to get a grip, but the sickness has a grip on me, The truth is I want to kick this thing, but I keep lying to myself that I can control it, What a bunch of Crap! Help! I want my integrity back.


Member: SUE
Location: BC
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 7:21:31 PM

Comments

HI I'M SUE, ALCOHOLIC:

I FIND HONESTY IS THE BEST POLICY. IT'S NOT ALWAYS EASY TO BE HONEST. NO ONE SAID IT WOULD BE. BUT, MAN WHEN YOU ARE HONEST AND COME CLEAN NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS NEXT AT LEAST YOU ARE IN GOD'S WILL. FOR THE GUY WHO IS IN A TREATMENT CENTRE, I KNOW IT'S HARD TO DO BUT COMING CLEAN IS MUCH MORE RESPECTABLE AND HONORABLE THAN LIVING A LIE. IT'S THE SECRETS THAT KEEP US SICK. I'M SURE THAT YOU WILL FEEL A LOT BETTER INSIDE BY COMING CLEAN. TO GET BETTER WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR WHOLE WAY OF BEING. TRUST ME IF YOU CAN I AM AN EXAMPLE THAT IT DOES WORK. TAKE A CHANCE.

I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU.


Member: PS
Location:
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 7:26:11 PM

Comments

JW - I can really relate to what you're saying. I've been slipping and I think my husband may know thought I am extremely careful and sneaky. With the topic of honesty this really hits home. My husband loves to parade my "defects" if he can. The hardest promises to honor are the ones to ourselves. I will stay sober today - I hope you can too.


Member: Tania C
Location: colorado springs
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 8:36:59 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Tania and I am an alcoholic. I am new to the program. I am only 3 days sober. Honesty, what a great subject. I am learning that it is hard to be honest with yourself the most. I have attended one face to face meeting, and it was extremely hard for me to get around a group of people and talk about all the bad things in my life, although I know everyone is there for the same reasons I am quite nervous. I know I have a problem, sticking with the program is the hardest for me. Just this past weekend I was arrested for a dui (first one) on a 4 wheeler and it made me think real hard about myself. Having that happen with my family around was very umbarassing and I am tired of living this way. I am happy I have realized my life is unmanageable.


Member: lets get it on
Location:
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 8:43:44 PM

Comments

i need a good woman to sit on my tounge.


Member: Glen     F
Location: Canada (north)
Date: 5/29/01
Time: 8:51:09 PM

Comments

Honesty .H O.W H=Honesty O=Openmindness W=Willness These are in the Big Book.Like everyone else has said I can't have any peace of mind without being Honest. Honest with me .The man in the glass.


Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 2:26:52 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Honesty, what a great topic, I can usually bullshit my way right thru that one.Seriously though honesty is one of the three cornerstone of our program. Honesty, openminded, and willing. The honesty we talk about in the rooms of A A is self honesty.First and foremost I accept myself as an alcoholic and know full well I cannot pick up that first drink. To thy ownself be true, describes the honesty we must seek, first and foremost.Once we become honest with and about ourselves, we begin to practice this vital principle in all our affairs. I can today compare myself to myself and realize that I am not the same person I was, I can see change thru this fabulous God given program of Alcoholics Anonymous. If my life does not get any better than it is at this exact moment, no regrets, no qualms, no looking back, I have been thoroughly blessed by God and the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless!


Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 2:34:40 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Honesty, what a great topic, I can usually bullshit my way right thru that one.Seriously though honesty is one of the three cornerstone of our program. Honesty, openminded, and willing. The honesty we talk about in the rooms of A A is self honesty.First and foremost I accept myself as an alcoholic and know full well I cannot pick up that first drink. To thy ownself be true, describes the honesty we must seek, first and foremost.Once we become honest with and about ourselves, we begin to practice this vital principle in all our affairs. I can today compare myself to myself and realize that I am not the same person I was, I can see change thru this fabulous God given program of Alcoholics Anonymous. If my life does not get any better than it is at this exact moment, no regrets, no qualms, no looking back, I have been thoroughly blessed by God and the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless!


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West Fl
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 6:42:42 AM

Comments

Good Morning Family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering Alcholic, a great topic, as I was never honest with anyone especially myself, and through the few 24hours and one day at a time, I have found that I am more honest now than I ever was before, as I used to steal, lie, and do all the things that I was taught as a young boy not to do, but coming into the program of Alcholic Annoymous a few years ago I can live with myself knowing that I am as honest as I can be, as I don't lie anymore as I found out I could never remember what I had said, and as for stealing today I find if I don't have it I don't need it, but what I need today is the fellowship of AA, as it taught me to except myself and be honest with myself for if I am honest with myself, I won't have the time to be dishonest with anyone else, and today I am becoming the person I really enjoy being with, and it is wonderful so I will keep coming back as each day is a new day, and I am honest about facing it, and not pretend that I loke the day, as I Love to wake each morning as early as possibe, as I don't want to miss any part of the day as Life is really beautiful, and I find that if I am honest with people thay are usually honest with me, unless they are out there drinking,and today I don't want that in my life. I am so grateful for this program of Alcholics Annoynomous, as it really taught me the things my parents tried to teach me, but when you are an alcholic you don't listen to anyone but that damn bottle, and today I live without it in an honest relationship with the people I Love and my HP is by my side guiding me on the right path. I Love you all for all that you teach me each day and to help me to keep growing into the person I am becoming.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: K.W. Fl.
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 6:45:12 AM

Comments

oh yes HAPPY ANNIVERSARY Staying Cyber I am so grateful I found you last year when I was away from my home group you helped me to stay sober another day .


Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 7:12:29 AM

Comments

I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. When I drank, I lied, snuck around, stole, and was a generally dishonest person. Telling lies to my wife and friends was bad. Telling lies to myself was worse. The main lie was that everything was fine and that any problems I had were someone else's fault. The lie that followed was that my problems were special, and that I needed and deserved alcohol to deal with them. The day I sobered up, I told the truth to God, and I regained my chance to be honest. I told him I'd screwed up my life and that I could not seem to run it on my own. I also told him I did not seem to be able to control my drinking and stay sober by myself. Since then, God has given me a new life and a chance to be honest. It's a choice I can make; either continue to be a liar and thief, or get closer to God by living an honest life. I can still lie, but now God lets me see those lies and gives me a chance to make amends. What a program and what a life! Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred


Member: JerryB
Location: Illinois
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 9:31:45 AM

Comments

Hi ... JerryB here ...an alcoholic (only the second time I've ever admitted that--guess I have a way to go in the honesty arena). This is my 5th day without a drink.

The honesty issue is a hard one for me right now, because I don't feel that I can do a F2F meeting. I'm a clergy person, and I'm afraid of what might happen if word gets out. I know AA is supposed to be based on confidentiality, but I'm also a realist. I have a long history in my town ... know lots of folks ... one slip of the tongue, and it's all over.

My congregation loves me ... we have a good ministry together ... but I don't think they could go "all the way" with me if I admitted to my need for treatment/the meetings.

This has been a years-long struggle. Thus far, my work has only been minimally impacted, but I'm drinking more and more, and my health is really beginning to suffer ... had 7 angioplasties last April ... they didn't hold, so had bypass surgery in September. I'm NOT yet following a healthy lifestyle, except for the last 4 days without a drink.

My family of origin has NEVER been honest ... far too many secrets ... so it's hard for me even to know how to be honest. I'm almost always honest with my spouse. I'm almost always honest with God. I'm more honest with myself than I used to be. But my sense of it is that I have a way to go.

Anyway, friends, thanks for the company and encouragement. Blessings on us all in our journeys.


Member: SAM
Location: Canada
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 10:54:01 AM

Comments

Hello Friends

I found that being honest with myself was the hardest of all, I was a pro at pretending and would have won an award for acting. Once I became honest with myself, that I could no longer live my life in this turmoil of drinking, I became honest with those closest to me and more importantly allowed myself to discover the wonders and magic of AA. JerryB please check out Fr. Leo Booth, he has a web site and is very dynamic, he is also very AA. Good Luck, there is lots of help out there.


Member: Sheryl D
Location: PA
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 12:25:37 PM

Comments

Jack from Palo Alto, PA - I live in a small town near you and was told by the AA # in phone book there are no meetings in my town. Could you please tell me where there are F2F meetings near your town? I've never been to one, have only 7 hours sober and really need to find one.

JerryB, Illinois - Your story was very enlightening to me. I have been a church going christian since childhood and often wondered why God would let this happen to me. You made me realize no one is immune from this disease. Good Luck!


Member: An empathetic heart
Location: Everywhere
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 2:00:56 PM

Comments

Sometimes I feel that the most important words are 'keep coming back'. God bless the newcomers.


Member: Anna
Location:
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 4:07:01 PM

Comments

Hi, my name is Anna and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the great topic. When I first got to AA I heard people talking about change, so I asked what do I need to change and the answer was EVERYTHING; I have a few 24 hours now and the only way I was able to start changing and stay sober was by being honest to myself and still do, because I am not cured and don't pretend to be I am just better than I was before I got to this program; Progress and not perfection; This is a great program and it saved my life and still does; but I had to do the foot work, so keep coming back, it is worth the while and the miracle does happen; drinking is not an option anymore.

Thanks for letting me share and I'll keep coming back.


Member: Susi N
Location: Fresno,CA
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 5:10:28 PM

Comments

It's a relief to not have to actively lie anymore but I find myself not being honest in the way that I don't let others (family & friends) know how some of their behaviors & actions are making me feel. They all seem to be walking on eggshells around me, not knowing what to say, what's appropriate to talk about with me, making decisions for me without asking me first(probably 'cause I made bad decisions while I was drinking)treating me like I'm fragile. Which I guess I am right now. It's like I want everything to be the same as it was before only with me sober this time. So I guess the person I'm being the least honest with is myself because people in the program tell me that's just not gonna happen. It's something I give to my HP every night & sometimes throughout the day. Thanks for letting me share. Happy Anniversary Staying Cyber!!


Member: Sue
Location: IL
Date: 5/30/01
Time: 6:29:07 PM

Comments

Hi my name is sue I am an alcoholic. Honesty, has saved my life. Today I was honest for the first time in a long time. Have not been going to very many meetings in 4 years. To be completly honest 1 per week. Through the grace of god I did not drink. But have had all the misery back and the dishonesty with myself. Told myself I was doing just fine with 1 meeting and no sponser. What a lie. Was at a live meeting today and finally admitted the truth. So grateful for all my fellow AA. You have saved my life. Can't do it alone.


Member: warren h.
Location: N.S.W. australia
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 7:36:44 AM

Comments


Member: warren h.
Location: N.S.W. australia
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 7:36:50 AM

Comments


Member: warren h.
Location: N.S.W. australia
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 8:06:57 AM

Comments

Hi,my name is Warren,a recovering alcholic,member of the Toronto (newcastle,N.S.W.)Group.This is the first occasion I have visited this site and I am also computer illiterate,so please bear with me. My personal belief is that HONESTY is the guts of the program and it is the action of practicing honesty and self honesty that allows my ongoing recovery...one day at a time! Having had two previous attempts at recovery,both of which resulted in my picking up the grog again(with disasterous consequences) I had to get brutally honest,and toss in the towel and accept my alcoholism. Through being honest with myself on a daily basis,I enjoy an inner peace and contentment in my life, that I never considered possible.I accept that half measures availed ME nothing,and by making a 100% commitment to the program of alcholics anonymous,honesty becomes infectiousand such a new and enlightening experience.


Member: Beer Drinker
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 1:27:48 PM

Comments

I only drink beer therefore I don't think I am an alcholic. I drink a 12 pack per day.

You people only drink whiskey? Right??


Member: John K.
Location: El Sobrante, CA. USA
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 1:47:18 PM

Comments

(Mike M.) You mentioned the 4th column of your 4th step. What, please, is the title of the 4th clumn? I am only aware of 3 columns, as outlined on page 65 of the Big Book of Alcaholics Anonymous (3rd edition).

For me Honesty (Openess and Willingness) is one of he essential tenats of the AA program. Of course I have gotten cyber-mangled for having the nerve to share "my honesty, as I perceive it. But, that is the risk we all take be participating in "life"

Have a Happy, Joyus, and Free (as you allow yourself (Lincoln) to be.

John....jfkent@earthlink.net


Member: SUE
Location: BC
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 3:52:35 PM

Comments

HI THERE "BEER DRINKER"

I'M SURE YOU ARE JUST JOKING, BUT IF FOR SOME REASON YOU ARE NOT, THE ONLY SUGGESTION I HAVE FOR YOU IS TO GO TO A MEETING AND FIND OUT WHAT OTHERS MAY HAVE TO SAY. I DO NOT PROFESS TO HAVE ALL THE ANSWERS. CHECK IT OUT FOR YOURSELF I'M SURE YOU WILL FEEL MUCH BETTER WITH A LITTLE INVESTIGATION OF YOUR OWN.


Member: ..
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 5:16:54 PM

Comments

Hi, alcoholic here posting again. Angie M. I know it can be hard to make a choice, I do know that if you have faith in your higher power, meditate or pray, and listen for answer, you'll get what you need and do what is right for you. These are hard choices but you have to put your life first to live. I know what it is like to turn my anger inward and hurt myself with guilt, it hurts intensely. This is a program of survival, and life sometimes presents us with hard decisions, but for everyone I gone through, I've come out the other side a bit stronger each time!

Try to keep talking with people you know, face to face in meetings, and try to avoid lingering in the negative (easier said than done for sure). It's okay to feel pain, life has painful moments, but we can get better a day at a time. I'm glad you're reaching out that is the way to release anguish. Be sure to keep in touch with people you know and trust in and out of the program, as these boards are too remote, and too subject to manipulation to trust all contacts. Take what you need and leave the rest, as they say!

My best wishes and many blessings to you on your path to recovery. You'll make it!!


Member: Mitzi P.
Location: DE
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 6:32:19 PM

Comments

Honesty is essential, and I have to practice it in all my affairs. I am resentful about a friend who seems to be taking advantage of me. I no longer can sit alone and let this fester until I ruin the friendship. I must be HONEST with her and give the friendship a chance to grow. The old ways of lieing and avoiding and ending friendships but giving no reason are over. Honesty is really the easier, softer, healthier way for me now.


Member: William.A
Location: High-Point
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 7:33:51 PM

Comments

Hello,William.A. Alkie.

Congrads. to this site on its (04) years, of service to the many it has helped. Honesty is a very good topic for today, maybe with out it know alkie has much of a chance of remaining sober for any time.

I am about to make a face to face meeting so I will be signing off to do what I promised God before he struck me sober almost (10) years ago.


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 9:14:55 PM

Comments

mitzi,

ok.....how 'bout jacking off....is that spelt right?????/


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 9:15:01 PM

Comments

mitzi,

ok.....how 'bout jacking off....is that spelt right?????/


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 9:15:06 PM

Comments

mitzi,

ok.....how 'bout jacking off....is that spelt right?????/


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 9:15:12 PM

Comments

mitzi,

ok.....how 'bout jacking off....is that spelt right?????/


Member: jc
Location:
Date: 5/31/01
Time: 9:16:50 PM

Comments

mitzi,

it hurts when i pull my pud cause its so big


Member: Lori T.
Location: Miami, Fla.
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 1:18:45 AM

Comments

My name is alcoholic and my trouble is Lori. I have come far and I have more to travel. Just how far am I willing to go? Honestly,willing to go to any length? With God's Grace anything is possible. I honestly can not do this by myself. Love Lori


Member: The crazy world of Avril G
Location: Belgium via Barnsley UK
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 8:39:59 AM

Comments

OOOHHH YES - I'm the great pretender (used to be a favourite song of mine, pre-AA) (Another one was 'Oh Lord, it's hard to be humble, when you're perfect in every way)

HONESTY??? Great topic for one alcoholic who's motto USED to be "Why tell the truth when you are a good bullshitter?"

Honesty is the way out of denial DENIAL = Don't Even Notice I Am Lying. (Just call me Cleopatra - Queen of Denial)

I am as sick as my secrets, and I KNOW when I am lying to myself, because you guys gave me something almost 11 years ago - you gave me a conscience!! Don't know if I ever had a conscience before sobriety, or whether I had one once but drank it away, but these days my conscience is surely my guide and lets me know if I need to get honest.

Strange, though, that the preamble in its original form stated 'the only requirement for membership is an honest desire to stop drinking' the honest was dropped when it was realised that NO alkie in early days has an HONEST ANYTHING!!

I believe in regular face to face contact with my sponsor and other recovering/ered alcoholics Real eyes Realise Real lies. These internet sites are wonderful as a back-up to f2f meetings, but in no way are they a substitute (not for me, anyway - the great pretender) My closest AA friends read body language like a book, and are quick to pick up on where I am at just by the way I SIT!!

KC - I also have a desire to drink more in nice weather, something I reckon I share with the majority of the human race! I DO drink much more in hot weather, in fact right now I have a long cool refreshing drink in front of me with ice and lemon, it is St. Clements Half a tumbler of fresh orange juice topped up with sparkling bitter lemon. At least now when I drink I do it for a good reason - To quench my thirst, AND another bonus is I LIKE THE TASTE!! I first slugged whiskey with my nose pinched, as I hated the taste, but loved the effect (well, once I managed not to puke it, I loved the effect!!) Iced tea is also a good one for long hot summer days, AND they are long hot summer days I can remember.

To the sex-addicted person - you are on the wrong site, love, try typing porn into your search engine there are many more of those sites than there are these sites.

{{{{{{{NEWCOMERS}}}}}} Welcome to this site and to recovery. We are all survivors in the lifeboat (HMS RECOVERY) be sure and stay in the middle of the raft, less chance of falling overboard (HONESTLY)

Feel free to e-mail anyone on this site who posts their address (it helps US when you write to us more than anything)

And remember, if you are not enjoying sobriety, you are not experiencing it yet!

goodallavril@hotmail.com (also MSN messenger)


Member: Steve L
Location: Indiana
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 10:38:35 AM

Comments

Hello everyone, I enjoy most of your posts.For me Honesty is key,my recovery demands rigorous honesty.Makes all the difference in the world; between living the truth and living a lie.Thank you all for helping me in this new way of life.

Steven


Member: Mike M.
Location: way out west
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 11:30:13 AM

Comments

to John K. The inventory on page 65 of the Big Book is something Iv'e always known how to do. I lived there all my life. I knew who I hated, what they had done to me, and what it effected. What I'd never done before was paragraph 3 on page 67 of the Big Book. The 4th column is what I'd done to harm others and myself. Now this was new. Everytime I read the Big Book I discover a little more truth. Good luck with the 4th column John. Few are those who ever pass this point.


Member: Judy
Location: Illinois
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 11:54:19 AM

Comments

Hi All, I'm a recovering addict and have been to this site twice now . . . lots of good comments. Honesty has always been my problem area before the drinking and drugging.

When you finally get honest you learn the ROOTS of your dysfunction and its pretty scary. But like it says in the Good Book "the truth will set you free" . . . but it also brings pain, devastation, depression, fear . . .

you finally have to ask yourself "how will I escape the truth without my coping mechanisms?"

You don't . . . you get honest, face your fears and look the demons you have been running from your whole life right smack in the eye, head on.

It is so worth it when you finally stop lying to yourself. I first remember asking God to help me, on my knees, tears streaming down my face, angry as all get out, screaming "WHY, I thought you were suppose to help me, WHY am I like this God?" I finally got honest with God that night, the night I wanted to end my life and had it all planned out . . .

GUESS WHAT, he listened, answered . . . I cried, felt my feelings, (painful and depressing as they were) I was finally honest!!!!!!

It was murderous not having my pot, speed, coke, beer, shots . . . what was I gonna do without them . . . FEEL?

Yes . . . you gotta feel . . . that takes 100% honesty. It stinks at first to be honest, it also helps you with boundaries and distancing yourself from those who harm you.

But honesty helps you keep YOU safe!!!!!!!!!!

It is the best policy now, no matter if it hurts I need to be honest, I lied to myself all the time. I lied to myself about my parents, thought we were the brady bunch . . . what a joke.

It hurts to be honest, but in the long run it is what saves you. It is what has helped me stop using . . . I'm not down in the dark basement anymore hiding out with my coping mechansims . . .

I'm now in the light, enjoying the outside world, seeing the sun, trees, smelling the flowers, listening to the birds and drinking healthy juices, water, snacking on pretzels instead of running around like a chicken with my head cut off . . . liking to live on life's terms . . .

No more hiding when your honest . . . your finally FREE! Be true to yourself . . . what a great great topic.

Jerry B . . . don't worry about anyone else . . . the only one you should be worried for is YOU!!!!! There are tons of people in the ministry who share our disease. Plus Jesus offers you the invitation to "COME and He will take your burden and carry you and give you rest".

Joe S. . . .I tried to tell myself when I was first starting off I could control my drinking . . . it is a tricky, slippery, slimey lie . . . you can't. One thing always leads to another. The guilt you'll feel is even worse.

Angie . . . I will pray for you . . . it must be real hard to realize the one you wanted to spend your whole life with is toxic . . . I'm so sorry . . . hang in there baby.

KC . . . I too think about drinking and partying when the nice summer weather comes . . . hang in there buddy. Think about the hangovers and not getting to enjoy the summer days . . . it feels good to be sober in the morning and having your whole day ahead of you without a pounding headache and being too tired.

I wish you all the best . . . All My Love . . .


Member: morticia
Location: ohio
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 12:29:05 PM

Comments

i guess you could say that i am a "baby" to this whole concept..i know a problem exists, but i am terrified to be "honest" with myself. i think i am an alcoholic..and i have never admitted that..to anyone in person..or online. i am hindered by the "voice" that i never knew how to recognize until i started doing some investigative web searches on alcoholism. i literally stumbled onto this website, and now i believe with all my heart that i was meant to.

i am mostly a weekend drinker..however, if i am "honest" i know that is lie too. if i could afford it, i would be drunk every night. how's that for honest?

i could never grasp the term "alcoholic." i hear that word and think of winos in the streets begging for change. but it's after about a week of searching the net, and talking to others that i could be what is called a "functioning" alcoholic. i pay my bills, i have a car and a roof over my head, i have a job, and i dont starve..but here's some more honesty..i called into work today because i went to a friend's house last night and drank a whole liter of whiskey. when my alarm went off this morning i was still drunk, so i made up a story about having a fever. i have a fever all right. it's spelled a-l-c-o-h-o-l.

i am not sober. i plan to drink this weekend. but i feel that if i dont put a plan into action soon, my addiction might kill me. melodramatic? yes, i guess so..but no less true. but what is that requirement to come here? something about the "desire" to stop drinking? well, all...i DESIRE to stop..only i dont know how to make that first move, that nudge over the line from dependecy on alcohol, to a life without it. thanks to whoever started with this topic..without you i would have never had the courage to be "honest."


Member: Evin
Location: FL
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 1:09:05 PM

Comments

I'm an alcoholic, my name is Evin.

KC in NY. The way to stay sober no matter what is: 1. don't drink. 2. go to meetings (5 a day if that what it takes). 3. get a sponsor and keep in contact with him or her. 4. Avoid people, places and things that you associate with drinking.

That's it. Just do it a one day at a time. Just today. Yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not here yet.

Great topic, honesty. I'm preparing for my 4th step and I'm not sure just how honest I want to be. I've been putting this off for some time but I gotta jump through the hoop. When I do it I will be leaving a huge amount of baggage behind. The fear of being completely honest hangs over my head but I've got to deal with it.

Gratefully sober, a day at a time.


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila.,PA - USA
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 1:20:23 PM

Comments

Hi All; Joe here, definitely alcoholic. I never had it so good and it's all because of A.A. Thank all of you for that.

MORTICIA - Welcome aboard. You don't have to be alcoholic to check out any open meeting. You might want to give it a try. Alcoholism is an elevator that only goes DOWN, you can get off at any floor. RECOVERY, on the other hand, only goes up. It's your choice. Good Luck and God Bless... Peace, Out - Joe L.


Member: Rick P
Location: England
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 3:36:12 PM

Comments

This is my second day without a drink. I have drunk on most days in the last twenty years or so, over the last ten years I can count the days where I did not get drunk to some degree on one hand. I need to be honest with myself. Honest about what I'm doing to everyone around me by being not a very nice guy sometimes, getting critical & cynical with people. (The sometimes is very unpredictable).

I need to do something to change. I know that I am not one of those people who can enjoy one or two drinks socially, most of my drinking is alone at home, shut in some dark corner getting depressed.

I need to change.

2 days done, tomorrow to come. One day at a time is a help. It does not sound quite so daunting as giving up. Maybe I should get to a face to face meeting.

Honesty for me, admitting that I really need to change my life if I wish to preserve what's left.


Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 6:13:57 PM

Comments

Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, Honesty is a good topic to have this week. You have to be honest with yourself when you are working the program, without honesty you will not be able to stay sober and have the peace that you are looking for. Honesty is one of the factors that help you and the people that are there for you to keep going on in your soberity. Keep it smiple and doing it one day at a time.


Member: SDL
Location: CT
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 6:53:27 PM

Comments

Hello Rick P,

I have not had a drink in 26 hours now. I am trying to stop too. I have only been drinking for 2 years but have been drunk every night. I am pulling for you. I hope I can make it through the Weekend.


Member: Marg R
Location: Canada
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 8:35:21 PM

Comments

I just want to welcome the two newcomers Rick from England and SDL? That's how it all started in AA two alcoholics supporting each other. Make sure, if possible that you get to face to face meetings, it really helps. Keep reaching out instead of reaching for the bottle. It gets easier with time.


Member: Marg R
Location: Canada
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 8:35:52 PM

Comments

I just want to welcome the two newcomers Rick from England and SDL? That's how it all started in AA two alcoholics supporting each other. Make sure, if possible that you get to face to face meetings, it really helps. Keep reaching out instead of reaching for the bottle. It gets easier with time.


Member: cory w
Location: austin tx
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 11:04:36 PM

Comments

My name is Cory W and I am an alcoholic. I'm all for honesty. It is the back bone,with god's help, to my recovery. I'm about to do a 9th step with my mom and she doesn't know I'm back in the program. I know one thing (people I know beg to differ that I know one thing) and that is if I'm not honest with myself I can't be honest with anyone. Thanks


Member: Fellow beer drinker
Location: USA
Date: 6/1/01
Time: 11:23:13 PM

Comments

Hey beer drinker. I haven't drank whiskie in over 20 yrs. like you I love my beer,to much. go ahead and figure it up: 12 pack = $7.50 x 7 x 52/12=227.50 per month. DUI-$1500.00 Attorneys Fees $2000.00 Divorce - (yet to be determined) AS my sponcor says "you won't quit till you get tired of paying the price"


Member: John K.
Location: El Sobrante, Ca. USA
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 5:08:14 AM

Comments

To: Mike M. Your "perception/interpatation" of paragraph 'two' on page 67 of the Big Book, 3rd edition, is interesting. I quote: "We placed them before us in black and white." If we read on to page 69, paragraph 'one' we read "Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it." By your "perception/interpatation" this would be column 'five', correct? I "honestly" disagree. The fourth step as taken by a recovering alcoholic in their first five years of sobriety would do well (INMHO) to follow directions on page 65 and leave the "advanced" fourth steps for a future time.

Your post reminds me of a share, that the "Tora" is being constantly, 24/7, being reinterperted. I say if it's not broke, don't (try) "fix" it. It's worked "as is" for the past sixty-six years, I have "faith" it will work as is for the next 24 hours.

Have a Happy 24 hours everyone.

John...jfkent@earthlink.net


Member: John K.
Location: El Sobrante, Ca. USA
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 5:08:26 AM

Comments

To: Mike M. Your "perception/interpatation" of paragraph 'two' on page 67 of the Big Book, 3rd edition, is interesting. I quote: "We placed them before us in black and white." If we read on to page 69, paragraph 'one' we read "Where were we at fault, what should we have done instead? We got this all down on paper and looked at it." By your "perception/interpatation" this would be column 'five', correct? I "honestly" disagree. The fourth step as taken by a recovering alcoholic in their first five years of sobriety would do well (INMHO) to follow directions on page 65 and leave the "advanced" fourth steps for a future time.

Your post reminds me of a share, that the "Tora" is being constantly, 24/7, being reinterperted. I say if it's not broke, don't (try) "fix" it. It's worked "as is" for the past sixty-six years, I have "faith" it will work as is for the next 24 hours.

Have a Happy 24 hours everyone.

John...jfkent@earthlink.net


Member: Tom M.
Location: Midwest
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 8:57:10 AM

Comments

At a recent f2f meeting where I live an "oldtimer" was quoted as saying (jokingly), "I wouldn't trust anyone with less than five years sobriety to mow my lawn!" I have only 71 days today, so that statement could have scared or offended me, but in its context at the time it made a point. Us newcomers are always welcomed and needed in AA, but we still have a lot to learn.

And wow! It's great to look forward to the learning. Rick from England, Morticia, and the other people just starting out - just look at all the AA people from all over the world reaching out to you, relating to your problem, pulling for you. That's just here! What until you go to a meeting! I was the world's biggest skeptic about these AA goofballs. The latest bunch of humans to solve all our problems, blah, blah, blah. This 71 days is my longest period of sobriety since I was 17 - I'm 43 now. Ring a bell, Rick? I was functioning too Morticia, but certainly not at full capacity or potential.

Then guess what. My Higher Power intervened. He shut my mouth and opened my heart and mind. He sent me to AA. I checked my skepticism at the door and God did the rest through Bill W., Dr. Bob, and the rest of these AAs - and all this AA stuff is starting to work. Check the promises starting at the last paragraph on page 83 of the Big Book. I am already starting to realize some of them myself. My wife says I'm not as big an asshole as I was; she says I'm a little mellower. Me? Mellow? Wow!

I suppose I'm floating on the pink cloud a little this morning. I'll watch that oldtimers, but it is so much better than my Saturday mornings used to be 72 days ago.


Member: Evin
Location: FL
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 9:21:17 AM

Comments

Rick P, SDL and all newcomers,

My name is Evin and I'm an alcoholic. Congratulations on your first steps into recovery. Keep coming back. Don't drink. Go to meetings.

Everyone in this program shares the same recovery. Even the 30 year "oldtimer" once had an hour, a day, two days, a week, a month, sober. Like building a house, our sobriety is built brick by brick. We all went through the same process. Bill W included.

The only requirement for AA is the wish to achieve sobriety. Welcome. The rest, the best, of your life lies before you.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 1:25:06 PM

Comments

Hi all---Chris HEre--alcoholic/addict/bulimic--To Morticia..It is so great that you had the courage to come to this sight and say what you did. Don't think that you are being melodramatic to say that if you don't quit drinking you might die. I think a great many of us can say that we probably would have died if we didn't auit drinking or using. Keep coming back!It sounds like you are on the right track. As for self-honesty, it has been toe KEY to my sobriety. NOt that it has been in any way easy> The hardest thing that I have ever done was to do my 5th step---to tell my deep dark faults to GOd and another human being. HOwever, I have NEVER felt such release in my life. I continued to TRY to have a sort of running 5th step with my sponsor in my first 3 yrs. of sobriety...it was very , very scary and hard, but it freed m e in such an inexplicible way and kept me sober and well. I have gotten out of the habit recently , but at the present I am trying to reestablish that habit. I think that it is one reason why I am struggling with physical problems right now. Happy birthday Staying Cyber , and thank you for being here!!!


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 1:26:03 PM

Comments

Hi all---Chris HEre--alcoholic/addict/bulimic--To Morticia..It is so great that you had the courage to come to this sight and say what you did. Don't think that you are being melodramatic to say that if you don't quit drinking you might die. I think a great many of us can say that we probably would have died if we didn't auit drinking or using. Keep coming back!It sounds like you are on the right track. As for self-honesty, it has been toe KEY to my sobriety. NOt that it has been in any way easy> The hardest thing that I have ever done was to do my 5th step---to tell my deep dark faults to GOd and another human being. HOwever, I have NEVER felt such release in my life. I continued to TRY to have a sort of running 5th step with my sponsor in my first 3 yrs. of sobriety...it was very , very scary and hard, but it freed m e in such an inexplicible way and kept me sober and well. I have gotten out of the habit recently , but at the present I am trying to reestablish that habit. I think that it is one reason why I am struggling with physical problems right now. Happy birthday Staying Cyber , and thank you for being here!!!


Member: Rick P
Location: England
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 1:42:56 PM

Comments

Many thanks to Tom M,Evin,Marg R, and SDL for your encouraging words.Thanks for taking your time to reply to my post.

This is day 3, in fact 70.5 hours to the minute since the last empty wine bottle went into the rubbish bin.

SDL how are you doing? Please post again and let us know how its going.

Thank you all again.


Member: morticia
Location: ohio
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 3:45:23 PM

Comments

to chris H..thank you for your encouragement..i guess it's a struggle for all of us..huh? i didnt have clue there were SO many people out there who felt like me..thanks to all of you for sharing and making me feel like i am not alone anymore....:)


Member: vicky 2
Location: nc
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 6:02:28 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Vicky and I'm an alcoholic.just got out my first alcohol treatmen inpatient program Sunday. Been drinking for 17 years (average 6 pack a nite) I'm 42 now, and I've been sobor for about 33 days. Hope I can continue this. I plan to go to AA.and get a sponsor been drinking can sodas by the dozen for the past 4 weeks. (used to drink cans of miller lite) Just wanted to post, looking for any suggestions,and insight on remaining sober for the rest of my life one day at a time thanks Vicky


Member: SDL
Location: CT
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 6:25:08 PM

Comments

Hello Rick P,

It is now 6:15 in Connecticut and I have been alcohol free for 2 days.

I am pulling for you Rick P and am inspired by you to remain sober.

I averaged a 12-pack per day. I did buy some O'Douls (alcohol free) today in case I need something in my hand.

Good Luck


Member: Linda B
Location: Iowa
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 7:17:05 PM

Comments

I have been sober since June 19,1988 and I have AA to thank for that. I am an alcoholic and been trying to honestly work the program in my daily life since coming into the program. There are so many ways to be involved in this program today that we are very lucky. I found that it was involvement that has kept me happy and sober over the last years. I need to keep involved in this program in one way or the other or it will affect my quality of soberity. I am new to this cyber soberity but will try it as live meetings are not an option right now. I have participated in pen pal contacts and prison contacts and found them to be rewarding. Honesty is a part of my life today and what really brought me to the program I knew I had to do something or die. I could not go on the way I was. I had lost respect for myself and needed to get that back. I had to admit defeat before I could get better and I like so many others tried with all my might to quit on my own.I needed live meetings for years to get and stay sober and now I have found so much happiest that I can maintain with less involvement and hopefully continue to grow. I am still an alcoholic and I don't ever forget that.


Member: tm
Location:
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 7:38:19 PM

Comments

odools beer is nothing more then midget vomit,

the worst,dont drink it either!!!!!!


Member: bill l.                                  
Location: pensacola, fl.
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 9:20:04 PM

Comments

i just got wind of this site and am happy to include myself into a discussion. hi group..


Member: bill l.                                  
Location: pensacola, fl.
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 9:20:17 PM

Comments

i just got wind of this site and am happy to include myself into a discussion. hi group..


Member: BUBBA
Location: P'ville,Ca
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 9:55:01 PM

Comments

I just found this site and it's a great idea. I just want to give something that I heard and it has always made sense to me since I got AA. It concerns the first three steps. "I can't, GOD can, so I think I will let HIM." To all you that are making a start don't get discouraged, listen alot when you go to meetings and it will happen for too. There is a power in sobriety and you will never go back to how it was.


Member: Jennifer
Location: South  Carolina
Date: 6/2/01
Time: 11:49:50 PM

Comments

I suppose my favorite statement about honesty is on page 73 of our Big Book. "But they had not learned enough of humility, fearlessness and honesty, in the sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else all their life story."

Honesty, for some reason, has never come easy for me. I was the world's worst con because I believed my own lies. Today I learn honesty through practice. PRACTICE - PRACTICE - PRACTICE. This is the process of learning through changing my behavior. Train the tongue and the mind will follow. In other words, when I share with my sponsor what I believe to honestly be the truth then more is always revealed.

Thank-you for reminding me what I need to do for daily sobriety.


Member: Lois S
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 6/3/01
Time: 12:03:27 AM

Comments

Hi all, Lois here, an alcoholic.... Morticia...you just hit my nail right on the head! I too did not drink every day; mostly weekend binges (followed by blackouts, with me calling assorted friends and family members and "speaking my mind") You see, I have 2 kids, a car, an apartment, etc..and knew I couldn't afford to drink all the time, but what got me into this fellowship is the OBSESSING I did during the week about "partying" on the weekend. I was unable to enjoy my kids, enjoy my days, or even enjoy my moments when all my thoughts were centered around getting wasted. Coming to AA, attending meetings, listening to others share, made me realize that I had a problem; not only a drinking problem, but a THINKING problem. I proved that a few weeks ago when I "thought" I could take a few pain pills (I can't drink, right??) and ended up enjoying the effects of them so much that I continued on stoned for a couple weeks. Honesty? Yes, I went to meetings during my using, but couldn't open my mouth cuz I felt so damned guilty, then couldn't look my boyfriend in the eye...decided to stop taking them, but guess what? Wasn't as easy as just "deciding" not to do it-had to get honest with myself, then my b/f, then in a few meetings. Back to square 1, but that's okay....pg.449 of BB...I am just where I need to be, right? Insidious is a word that comes to mind when I think of the disease of alcoholism/addiction....just sitting there waiting to catch us off guard and reeking havoc on our minds/bodies. Thanks to all who post...when I used to hear people saying that others sharing about their trials/tribulations was helping them, I thought they were just being diplomatic...I now realize how the truth of that....Thanks to you all, and god bless. Just For Today :)


Member: Gabrielle P.
Location: Home of the Texas Rangers!
Date: 6/3/01
Time: 1:44:29 AM

Comments

Gabrielle, grateful recovering alcoholic. I like the addage that I am still practicing to get honest. I am 13 yrs in this wonderful life giving program and still have yet to achieve perfection at anything much less honesty. I don't feel it is just telling the truth, it is applying the concept of honesty in all areas of my life, walking the talk. How do you really live? I don't have to tell God because He see's me and everything I do, I don't have to tell others because they know by the way I act. No the real test for me is being honest with me first. If I began a lie to myself it will surely project outwardly. I can't hide even the smallest indisgretion from myself. I had to learn when I got here that there is wrong and there is right. Wrong for me is to drink, and consequently, to die. I never hid anything from anyone. My only illusion, was to myself, "thinking" I was fooling anyone and when that shattered I found myself emotionally bankrupt and begging for help from anyone. So I personly believe that the whole foundation of my program is based on honesty, the best that I can achieve on a daily basis, not worrying about perfect but rather progress towards perfection. I am grateful today to have the opportunity to live my life in this manner, it sure beats the way I was existing before I got here. In Sobriety, In A.A., In Life!