Member: Shirley T
Location: New Zealand
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:07:58 AM

Comments

Really helpful topic Ted. In the beginning my non acceptance of my alcoholism was a roadblock to stopping drinking. That was such a hard thing for me to do, so to those struggling pray for willingness and hang in there. No-one told me this was easy and it wasn't. I think actually stopping drinking was the hardest thing I've ever done. However the rewards have been such that I have had many years of peace and joy. My gratitude is passing it on. Pleased to see the later shares this week are once again addressing the topic. For a while in the middle there some seemed to have lost the plot. I have passed on this on line meeting to many others as being just like a F/F meeting, but the last couple of weeks there have been times when it wasn't like any meeting I attend. Let us all remember this may be the first contact a newcomer has and share accordingly. In AA we have one ultimate authority, a loving God. Be happy


Member: Erma G.
Location: Utica,N.Y.
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:15:12 AM

Comments

Here I go again.I offer my sincere amends to you all for joining the controversy that has attended this meeting.Maybe there is still hope for this alcoholic.I've accepted that I don't like my behavior when I joined in the crosstalk.I'm willing to change it if I can and to ask for my Higher Power's help in removing that behavior from me.For me that is the beginning of the change and spiritual growth that was brought up as the topic. Honestly taking a look at my part in a situation. Openmindedly looking for a better path and taking the action that is the willingness to change.A willingness to learn from my mistakes.And God please grant me the humility to continue one day at a time to learn from everyone in this program.Thank you for letting me share one more time.


Member: Erma G.
Location: Utica,N.Y.
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:19:49 AM

Comments

If the new topic has not been picked yet...may we talk about the message of hope.


Member: Sito T
Location: Puerto Rico
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:23:09 AM

Comments

I've been sober for six years now going on 7 in August. I've put off doing a moral inventory because of many stupid reasons (fear, don't need one, procrastination, etc., etc.). I don't have a sponsor, and I've started doing one on my own according to the big book, and the 12 by 12. I started listing the people I've had resentments, and eorking each one. I would appreciate any comments or suggestions on how you did it, and if the inventory took you a long time to finish?


Member: Cindi P.
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:30:21 AM

Comments

My name is Cindi and I am an alcoholic. The first message of hope I received was the 3rd Tradition. I didn't know if I was really an alcoholic, but I knew I had a desire to stop drinking. The willingness to stay at meetings because of that desire led to many other sources of hope. I told my story last weekend and one woman came up to me later and told me I had told her story. Another asked me to be her sponsor because of that talk. Hope comes from my sponsor and members of my home group who listen and tell me if there is something I need to work on. Hope comes from listening to others tell my story, and finding myself in the Big Book.


Member: Mark M.
Location: Albany, New York
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:53:55 AM

Comments

Mark, human being!! One of my greatest hopes is that the infitesimally small part of me that is an alcoholic can be fully and totally incorperated into who I am as a human being. Not only was I a person first, but it was by no great achievment that I became an alcoholic. Upon careful scrutinization and long hours of prayer, thought and discussion, I can just not buy the "disease concept." I have tremendous hope that others can break out of the UNthinking that pg. 82 of the BB talks about as it hurts the very depths of my heart to see and hear so-called "old-timers" who simply don't drink. That is a sad, sad way to live for them, not me!! Then I hear this "judgemental" crap that is also UNthinking at best, but more hypocritical than anything as I'm not the one judging, they are!! I call it compassion and HOPE to believe that i can carry the a much more meaningful message than "just don't drink even if your ass falls" to people with minimum 3-5 years who do just that!! Obviously that is fine for the first so-and-so period of time, but eventually I try to sustain in God that I be a vehicle to help provoke thought in alcholics who are capable of moving to the next level. Doesn't mean I'm better than, that too is STUPID--It means I've just chosen to accept more of His gifts that are availaable to AANYONE. It's just like I hope newcomers accept the gift of newfound sobriety, as that's available to anyone as well! ANYONE can stop drinking, my HOPE is that I'm doing something with that minimal gift! When I meet THE Creator I don't think "did you drink today?" is going to be His one and only question. I do believe since He's the one who gave the gift in the first place and He already knows that I haven't, it's going to be more along the lines of what did I do with it once He gave it to me!! In the end, when all the controversial topics that NO human being can answer are answered for me, I HOPE I can answer that I'm just one HUMAN BEING helping another HUMAN BEING without having to explain that alcoholics are no better, no worse, just simply HUMAN BEINGS!!!


Member: Fred
Location: Maryland
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 9:20:19 AM

Comments

I have hope, but I'm not sure it is the proper use fo the word hope. I hope I don't get into anymore trouble. I hope my wife stays with me. I hope my son isn't an alchoholic. I hope I don't drink. I guess those are selfish hopes. I believe hope is more of a spiritual understanding and direction of our lives. I'm not at that point in my sobriety, however if I continue in prayer maybe just maybe I wil get there. I HOPE so!!


Member: Pete
Location: Valley of the sun
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 10:16:44 AM

Comments

Hope is ever present. To lack hope is to lack a belief that a power greater than myself exists. I thought I could get sober and stay sober without any assistance from anyone or anything else, but have found that the hope in my life is directly proportional to the help I seek from my brothers and sisters in this fellowship. I cannot do alone what WE can do together, and for me, this is my greatest sorce of hope. Thank you Bill W. and Dr. Bob for giving me and such people as I, the hope for a life beyond our wildest dreams. If I read the first 164 pages in the Big Book of AA and don't find hope there, then I surly need to ask for help. I need to find the solution to my problem and understand that for me it IS a disease, this alcoholism, and that "no God, no hope......know God, know hope" is the answer. I pray each day for those who still suffer from this disease and will share the hope I've found with anyone who asks for help. I remain yours in love and service. Thank you for letting me share my hope with you.


Member: Kent H.
Location: Smoky Mtns, TN
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 11:56:05 AM

Comments

Hello, I'm an alcoholic(among other things) named Kent. "Hope" is an excellent topic for me right now because I've relapsed for the umpteenth time and I'm disgusted with myself and feeling pretty hopeless. I've been in&out of AA for 20 years. I've worked the Steps 3 times with 3 different sponsors. I've sponsored others, done volunteer work at treatment centers(attended 4 as a client!), and even had a paying job as a halfway house manager. I've attended hundreds of meetings, read & studied the Big Book and the 12&12 several times over. I pray daily. I say all this because I anticipate the questions "have you really worked the program?" and all that. I believe that I have. In the last two decades, I've been sober for 30 days, 6 months, 1 year, 2 years, and 3 years...not necessarily in that order. I've also been in jail more times than I can count and have been to the ER for DT's 5 times. I haven't had a drink yet today, but I sure as hell want one...or a dozen or two! Please give me some words of HOPE. The only thing going for me right now is that I'm still breathing, but suicide is sounding like a reasonable option. Thanks for letting me share and best wishes to all of you. vaguely grateful, Kent PS to Newcomers: Don't let my crappy attitude spoil your opinion of AA. It's a fine organization and most AAs aren't chronic relapsers like me.


Member: L-RAY
Location: SCOTLAND
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 1:03:03 PM

Comments

Nice one (((Erma))), when i first came to the fellowship -i couldnt see any future without drink , but attending meetings and getting a sponser i found that i got hope for the future and my life had a meaning! its been a long haul but i am hopefull that odaat ican stay sober and be usefull to my fellow man or woman, regards L-RAY


Member: For Kent
Location: in fellowship
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 1:17:18 PM

Comments

Kent...I don't know" maybe just accept the fact that your not ready to "get it" Maybe accept that you may only be capable of going to meetings and not much else spiritually, acceptance is the answer to all your problems today. And if you can't accept that, then be prepared to do some serious work on yourself/ and know that it may be the hardest thing you ever did and the most rewarding....(sometimes its as simple as asking yourself.. "what am i doing: and maybe i'll do the exact opposite and see what happens.. or just stop it.. the steps don't have to be a deep and complicated issue. there's nothing that can compare to the powerful spiritual experience that comes from within, (and when the steps happen for us! and the promises come and our attitude changes.. my god there's nothing like it i swear) trust god... (wait if you have to) and clean house (over and over till you get it), and help others.. (and don't worry about whether they get it or not.. just do your part and go home.. the rest is between them and thier god. And one day you'll have earned it my friend.. you'll be okay. i have faith in you.


Member: Mark
Location: NY
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 2:00:35 PM

Comments

Thanks Kent, with the exception of the pg.449 quote that is some really good stuff, especially the last part!! I also appreciate what Fred from Maryland had to say about semantics, that's really good too!!! You guys are something, God Bless ALL!!!


Member: Me
Location: Again
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 2:03:07 PM

Comments

Oh, it was FOR Kent!!! HA, HA, HA!!!!


Member: Rosa C.
Location: New York
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 2:04:49 PM

Comments

hi everyone, grateful to be here. I needed to hear the topic of acceptance. Because I can get pretty nasty w/ others when i am in the future and forget that things are the way they are supposed to be at this very moment. I guess the best part is that i am learning that i have a disease and my disease wants to see me down. This is a program of action, i made a couple of phone calls and went directly to this site to get some experience, strength and hope. I cannot do this alone and I guess that my gift for today is that i can accept that. Yes, after phone calls and literature, it takes what it takes and sometimes its one minute at a time.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 2:38:45 PM

Comments

hi Diane here day 54 sober, I hope I can stay sober


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 3:20:48 PM

Comments

Hi all, Kathleen here alcoholic. Seems like there are a couple of topics up for discussion. I like acceptance, because that is what helps me to be serene today. It says somewhere in the Big book, "we cease fighting everything and everyone"..(or something to that effect) and that is so true. There is not a darn thing I can do to change any of you or certain situations. I can however change how I react to them. This is a "Live and let live" issue. I found acceptance through working the 12 steps and maintain acceptance by living steps 10, 11 and 12. I much rather be at peace with me than angry all the time because life doesn't happen the way I think it should. I ask my hp each morning (and throughout the day) to let me have knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out. And that seems to work good for me. I enjoy the posts. ya'll have an awesome day unless you choose otherwise.. Kathleen


Member: John K
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 3:52:56 PM

Comments

Hi all, John, alcoholic. Until I accepted the fact that I am a hopeless alcoholic, I couldn't make any progress in AA. That's one of the paradoxes of the program. My understanding of the first 3 Steps is akin to "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here." What I mean by that is, that ultimately, for sobriety and for serenity's sake, I had to stop hoping for self-centered things: that I could simply use AA to justify chasing what I wanted out of life, or to make anything of myself by my own will; that first and foremost I am and was and always will be an alcoholic--mentally and spiritually ill, with a disease that progresses whether I drink or not. As I began to really sincerely do the 3rd Step on everything from physical safety to whether I'd have a job in the morning, and as the 3rd Step began to pay off, I found myself relaxing enough and trusting the Higher Power enough to consider doing the rest of the steps. Funny thing, I haven't yet heard about doing service this week. The root of my problem is self-centeredness, and the only solution to the pain that comes from that is to begin to try to be other-centered. That doesn't mean I ignore legitimate problems, which must be dealt with utilizing the principles of AA (to figure out where I am in trouble is one reason I have and use a sponsor); what it means is that bit by bit I try to forget about what I think I want (I always got whatever I wanted and was never happy anyway) and try instead to contribute to the lives of others. I have repeatedly heard people justifying not doing service by saying, "well, I'll donate blood" or something; they rarely stayed sober long enough to get the promises of AA. Trust God, clean house, help others. Service *within* AA is the key.


Member: Tom G.
Location: Saginaw, Mi
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 4:27:41 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Tom, alcoholic. I am hoping that the medication I've been prescribed for anxiety and depression works. I'm not particularly proud of choosing to go that route, but my sponsor sees nothing wrong with it, and he has eighteen years in. I just want to feel a little better, and not so desperate. I know people will find fault in this, but that doesn't matter to me at present. I accept I have a disease akin to post -traumatic stress disorder and I want to see if this medication will help. thanks


Member: carlc
Location: Texas/New Mexico
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:42:10 PM

Comments

I think it's all in ur mind TOM! Why did people not have this problem hundreds of years ago>? I blame all modern technology for all the bullshit that goes on these days!


Member: carlc
Location: Texas/New Mexico
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:42:17 PM

Comments

I think it's all in ur mind TOM! Why did people not have this problem hundreds of years ago>? I blame all modern technology for all the bullshit that goes on these days!


Member: tim sharpe
Location: new mexico
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 7:43:44 PM

Comments

carlc you are a wacko


Member: Leah D
Location:
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:05:10 PM

Comments

This is my first time at any type of MEETING. My problem is with Rx drugs instead of alcohol, but my employer said I needed to do AA meetings or NA. AA meetings are easier to find. It has been almost 3 weeks since I have taken any type of narcotics. I hope I can stay away. I have the will power to say no, but I still WANT to take.


Member: My new name Jackc
Location:
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:09:21 PM

Comments

Tom some fuckhead is using my name and giving you some weenie waver advice I did not comment on your situation. I am not qualified to give medical advice, the book says to be quick to see where people of religion and the medical professilon are right.


Member: My new name Jackc
Location: Texas
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 8:09:56 PM

Comments

Tom some fuckhead is using my name and giving you some weenie waver advice I did not comment on your situation. I am not qualified to give medical advice, the book says to be quick to see where people of religion and the medical professilon are right.


Member: cindy p
Location: bristol pa
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 10:53:50 PM

Comments

hi, cindy-alcoholic....drinking was so a part of my past, present and future....my mind, body and soul....i had tried to not drink and couldn't....wake up in the morning ,shaking and terrified at what i may have done....beg God that everything be ok.....please God make everything ok and i won't drink again.....everything is ok....drunk by 5pm...hopelessly drunk again-----that was my life til i heard a guy in A.A. tell a story that gave me hope....now i don't drink and have a full and happy, joyous life.


Member: D-Flat
Location: ND
Date: 5/18/2003
Time: 11:45:46 PM

Comments

Hope was what i seen in the guy who became my sponser I had never met anyone who was sober and excited about life. although i had to go out and drink again just to try one more time on my own to figure it out,I never forgot the hope i seen in his eyes, and so when i woke up in jail the last time i drank i found his phone # and said whatever your doing i need help, so 9yrs later i still have that hope, and tonight i got the opportunity to start through the BB again with someone new, so that what hope means to me


Member: Pamela E.
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 12:27:08 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Pam and I am new to the program I have been sober for 3 months and I am having a really hard time right now I want to use really bad and if anyone can help me please contact me at foolofatook420@cs.com please i need to talk


Member: Cynthia H
Location: Texas
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 12:55:16 AM

Comments

Hi, Cynthia ,Alcoholic,When I got to AA the hope for me was in the stories.I went to alot of speaker meetings and I was surprised that other people had done some of the things I had done and we all really have the same feelings.Life is really not what happens to you but what you do about it that gives me great hope cause with Gods help and the help of people in the program I can not drink one day at a time, then my choices in life get better and better with each sober day. For this I am very grateful.Thanks Guys when


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 1:00:41 AM

Comments

Hi All, Kelly a greatful alcoholic. I read a saying once that went something like... "When you lose all hope you lose all sense of fear and that is the true meaning of the word desperate". I can relate to that feeling. The utter desolation of lack of hope. Being deperate enough to want to die because I hated my life and what I had become. As awful as that feeling was when I hopeless it was good for me. It gave me the gift of desperation. ((Kent H)) You have not surrendered yet. That is the trademark of a golden slipper, no offence meant. You work a hard program but you have to get step one down to stay sober. I had to let go of self-will and surrender and it took a long time to do that. ((Leah D.))Welcome, get to an NA meeting and grab the green pamphlet called, The Triangle Of Self Obsession. I'm a drunk but could relate to it. I HOPE we can all stay sober ONE DAY A TIME. Life without hope is like losing faith in what tomorrow can bring. Kelly


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: hellishelping (last one,, promise)
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 1:02:15 AM

Comments

Mark)) We must be gettin a connection honey, cause that was me (bikerbabe) who replied to Kent... Now tell me your 30 or older and single, good lookin and i'll be really happy if you want to e-mail me. what say Mark? (I'm just dying to tell you something)) you L.Y.A.Off....


Member: Tammy
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 1:05:07 AM

Comments

Pam what's up? Why don't you tell us your story on the coffee pot page? were here for you..


Member: Mark from Albany
Location: Or Is It???
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 1:17:31 AM

Comments

Bikerbabe, I'm 36, absolutely gorgeous, and hung like a horse(or a minuature pony anyways). Problem is you didn't list your e-mail and I don't even know when your serious or making your ohohoh sosossoso humorous comments???????? BTW, have I mentioned I'm eyeing the preisthood??? Maybe the "untouchable" deal adds to the attraction, huh?


Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 2:01:57 AM

Comments

Hi Friends, I'm Melanie, an alcoholic. Hope always means step 2 to me. When I came in to AA, I had step one down pat. Yep, completely hopeless. Life as I had known it was over and there was nothing to be done about it. The doc at the treatment center said to go to AA and I did, 'cause I was sure I would die if I didn't. Then, I saw those wonderful, happy, sober faces and I did as I was told. I soon "Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." There was living proof all around me that "God could and would if he were sought." So I sought! AA, Step 2 and the Big Book gave me hope. My old life was truly over and my new life just beginning. Thank God! And what a life it is! I hope YOUR new life is joyful and healthy. Love and blessings to all.


Member: T-Bone
Location: S. Fl
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 9:00:11 AM

Comments

"Hope" 1. I hope all of us stay clean and sober for the next 24. 2. I hope I have the courage to except the things I can not change. 3. I hope Mark from Albany stays out of the priesthood. Just what we don't need is another priest " hung like a horse ". LOL.


Member: Tracy
Location: Essex England
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:00:19 AM

Comments

My HOPE came to me when I attended my first AA meeting, I got a moment when all became clear to me, whether be me giving me the OK to have faith i don't know but thats what it felt like, since that night 25th Jan 2003 i have hope beside me everyday.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:32:53 AM

Comments

Craig here, another "real alcoholic", (page 21). I had no even hope before I started using. At first I thought I used to try and find some meaning in my life. For awhile it seemed to work, alcohol allowed me to become many of those things I wanted to be. "Charming, sexy a hell of a nice guy with limitless potential". Then I regained consiousness, to find things more unbearable than before. I found stopping was impossible, though I desperately wanted to stop. Once I was in it's grip, there was no more relief (false hope) to be found in a bottle anymore. At the end I was desperate. I was hopeless of my own abilitity. After my last detox, AA seemed like "the last house on the block". While going over the steps with my sponsor, my ego struggled to run rampant, but I was terrified of drinking again. Somewhere in the step process, I discovered Peace for the first time. I became content not knowing the meaning of my life. Today I don't spend much time spinning in my head. When I do, my faith tells me God is still with me and I seek the courage to continue the path in Hope.


Member: Mark
Location: Albany
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:40:59 AM

Comments

Good One T-Bone!!! Made me laugh out loud, that's always good, right!!! I'm hoping you do know I was kidding in the first place, it's not always easy to tell on the internet. Or in real life sometimes either for that matter!!


Member: Bikerbabe
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 11:43:51 AM

Comments

T-bone... ha ha ha! that's rich my friend... ((Mark)) your entering the priesthood? Well its about time! church is probably in some serious need in for "the world according to Mark huh? (just hackin on ya honey) So i'm 34 blonde blue eyed and yup, above average looks in a pamela anderson way))... (i gotta tell you this... you'll kill yourself laughing)) I am so far from the image of bikerbabe, don't get me wrong i love bikerbabe too... she's great! but in reality... i am just a sweat approrriately and well dressed, normal, but really cute chicky,,,i got my own biz, car and a healthy lifestyle, cant really classify myself as a smoker, cause i only indulge occasionally, (just for that female james dean kinda feeling)I am an alkie, but problem solved (and no heavy sexual issues! Sheesh!)) that's a big one for people, (drug/alcolhol free!!....7+ sober...hey maybe you have icq? if so my no# is 173943953 if you don't have icq.. well what are ya waitin for honey? Quote for today... you'll love this one! "Psychotics think that 2+2=5 "Nuerotics know that 2+2=4 They just can't stand it!


Member: sue
Location: ca
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 1:59:58 PM

Comments

......we are here to save our own asses, no joke, i dont want to think one of us may "go out", o.d., or die becouse we are not taking our disease for real, i was taught to share my experiance strength and hope, not my opinions, or egotistical advice! TO TOM, we are not doctors, some of us need alittle more help, so what, there are plenty of us out there that got started the same way, a fact i'v learned from sharing with other alcoholics.....go to lots of meetings, get a sponsor and work the steps and watch the miricles of your life unfold! thank you for my sobriety


Member: John K
Location: Philadelphia
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 2:19:48 PM

Comments

Hi all, John, alcoholic. I almost never share twice, but I would just like to say one thing: If you don't respect the purpose of this room, why are you here? It's one thing for crazy newcomers to take a meeting off-course; it's another for people who should know better. If you're looking to pick up someone online, use the personals. Nuff said.


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 2:40:06 PM

Comments

I hope that I can help others who suffer from alcoholism. All the rest I leave up to my higher power.


Member: Johnson
Location: Colorado
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 2:41:22 PM

Comments

John K., you abviously have eother no sense of humor, take yourself WAYYY to seriously or simply don't know how to read!!! Whichever one, or all of them, it is, you my man need serious help!!!


Member:
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 3:44:41 PM

Comments

culty culty culty. If you're seeking sobriety, and this cult of Bill W doesn't work for you, try http://www.rationalrecovery.com/ http://www.secularsobriety.org/ http://www.aadeprogramming.com/


Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 4:04:02 PM

Comments

The day I walked into AA I had no hope whatsoever. I just didn't believe AA would work for me. I had good reason to believe that at that point. I had set my last drink down six days prior. The only reason I even came here was to accompany my buddy who wanted to give it a try. He decided to move in with me and we would work together out of the Big Book. The passage in that book that gave me hope for recovery was..."Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to this principals." So If I could never achieve perfection then why not do the best I could and see what happens. I was sober seven days, my buddy was sober one day. Together we started into the Steps. That was over 21 years ago and we are both sober today. My advice?? Quit agonize over doing it right. Or whether or not you are alcoholic. Just go through the steps as written ..They cannot harm you.. And, Alcoholism is not contagious, if it turns out you are not alcoholic don't worry you will not catch it from us. But you must be here for some reason. What is it? Thanks Love you all Bill


Member: Rich P
Location: Colorado
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 5:21:26 PM

Comments

I hope that ((Kent H)) realizes that in the 7+ years he was sober he was safe on the roads, an an example for newbies, and waking up each day without a hangover. I drank everyday for 20 years and would love to go back and make any 7 of them sober ones! ((Leah D))many folks in my home group are addicts, or cross addicted. I never did drugs, but can relate to everything they say just the same. You are welcome in my group anytime. For those of you off topic, the coffee pot is open for you. Enjoy the brew.


Member: Mark
Location: Hellisn't really helping!!
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 5:41:11 PM

Comments

Bikerbabe)))) Since the topic is hope, I HOPE you read this and see one of my many e-mails is marshallemark@hotmail.com since I'm completely ignorant on the subject of icq's. What is that, pray tell?. I HOPE you send me an e-mail so as to bypass some of the "hulabaloo." Whomever))) Why would I want to go to another cult when I'm already a member of this one?? Feel free to e-mail as well since I have a # of e-mail addresses and will hand out my main one proportionately!! I HOPE you open your mind enough one day to see that this cult of drunks is just about right for most drunks, but not ALL!! John K.))) Philly style, huh?? Well, Ms. Philly, get a grip!!! You are not the master of this domain and lighten up like Johnson from Colorado said! "ANGELS CAN FLY BECAUSE THEY TAKE THEMSELVES LIGHTLY!!!"


Member: bikerbabe
Location: hellishelping
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 5:47:28 PM

Comments

To Azbill)) Sweetheart" speaking only for myself personally; i am here for a date honey)) you cute? (opps i forgot, that because i'm an alkie i have to stick to the topic, what was it again? Sex? ((No hard feelins buddy...opps)) was that sexual?))) forgiveness all around okay pal? bikerbabe's live! and kickin it for ya all. bbbrrroooommmmmmmm brack brack!


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: hellishelping
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 5:49:53 PM

Comments

Ps will do Mark))... e-mail is on the way bikerbabe.....lol


Member: T-Bone
Location: Fl
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 6:23:58 PM

Comments

Mark: I knew you were kidding.


Member: Bikerbaber
Location: "hell-is-helping mark"
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 6:56:39 PM

Comments

T-bone....your awesome! if you got icq and want to chat some time... my no# is 173943953. lets be friends.....((anyone here))... can icq me if they want...or if they can... lol


Member: Eva H.
Location: Colorado;
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 7:44:14 PM

Comments

Eva,alcoholic. My first moment of hope after so many years of quiet desperation, was when I was told that I never had to pick up another drink or drug if I was willing to get well doing it somebody elses way. (AA's) You see, I thought once someone became an alcoholic they were destined to die drunk. I was so grateful for that message and I found it to be true. My life these past 17 years in AA has been rich and filled with endless blessings. Remember this is a life and death issue. We insist on not being glum and boring but at the same time we must never trivialize this program Peoples lives depend on us.


Member: Ralph
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 7:51:36 PM

Comments

Im taking classes learning about alcohol awareness and abuse. It has been a real eye opener. Im enjoying it immensely.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: hellishelping
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 8:10:25 PM

Comments

Oh my god did you all see the horror posted on the coffee pot! Oh my god...the newcomers will all die now because they will see that were not all perfect and stuff..oh god what a bummer!! that's it,,,were all fk'ed (((hush hush everyone...don't let the new guy see anything real...he can't handle it!! quick! Mark you go and see if the big books on fire! aaahhhhhhhhhh were all doomed....doomed i tell you....Bikerbabes live and kickin it Up another notch BAM! BAM!


Member: ..
Location:
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 8:52:15 PM

Comments

If any of you would like an AA forum just like this one, but without the disruptions, check this one out http://aaforum.org/12x12/12x12.htm


Member: ..
Location: ,
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 8:56:19 PM

Comments

NO THANX


Member: jam
Location: GA
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 9:40:03 PM

Comments

Hey y'all. First time here. Just to see how it works.


Member: siobhan c.
Location: washington
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:17:51 PM

Comments

siobhan here. alcoholic. i have more hope now than when i first became sober. in the beginning, i couldn't understand how people could actually enjoy life w/out drinking. now i don't understand how i could have wasted all those years under a drunken haze. i have hope that i can live a healthy, normal (reasonably) life with my husband and daughter. a life NOT revolving around alcohol. the more time i have in sobriety, the more hope i have for continued sobriety. i hope this made some sense to someone besides me. in any case, stay sober, keep the faith, thanks for letting me share.


Member: ...
Location: ????
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:32:37 PM

Comments

Good One Bikerbabe!!! YOOOOO--HOOOO!!!!! Alright, let's get this party rolling!!!! Pam))) Other way around sweetheart, you're the one I thought was brilliant, am I wrong??? You're is PERFECT after all, isn't it??? To ALL))) Glad to see the in-crowd out-crowd got you going---IT SHOULD'VE!! These people on here who call themselves sober and do that stuff are ANYTHING but SOBER!!! But, hey God Bless them, they do KNOW ALL!!! I might just stay here until I run some of them off, think I can do it??? HA!HA!HA! BURNING BIG BOOKS!!! WOOOO---HOOOOO!!!! THAT"S GREAT!!!!


Member: ...
Location: ????
Date: 5/19/2003
Time: 10:45:34 PM

Comments

Good One Bikerbabe!!! YOOOOO--HOOOO!!!!! Alright, let's get this party rolling!!!! Pam))) Other way around sweetheart, you're the one I thought was brilliant, am I wrong??? You're is PERFECT after all, isn't it??? To ALL))) Glad to see the in-crowd out-crowd got you going---IT SHOULD'VE!! These people on here who call themselves sober and do that stuff are ANYTHING but SOBER!!! But, hey God Bless them, they do KNOW ALL!!! I might just stay here until I run some of them off, think I can do it??? HA!HA!HA! BURNING BIG BOOKS!!! WOOOO---HOOOOO!!!! THAT"S GREAT!!!!


Member: katt
Location: west
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 12:03:12 AM

Comments

sioban , it just gets better ! I used to think that life without a drink would be utterly boring. I enjoyed drinking then it turned awfull , it went from being the best thing in my day to ending in pacing the floor through the night shaking and sitting with a drink under an afgan at three in the morning still believing that this was really going to right itself. Now life is full of good stuff and I feel that I'm a usefull person again . life is way better now than when I drank and I never want to go on the alchoholic road again.


Member: Robin
Location: Iowa
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 1:52:03 AM

Comments

My hope today is that someone can answer a question for me. I have been sober for 54 days. I would like to know what physical things happen to you during the first year of sobriety. My friend Mary (who has 17 years of sobriety) says I should not make big discissons,I will feel tired alot. What else? I need some information for my husband who thinks I am nuts because now I am drinking pop like there is no tomorrow. I am moody. Any advice would be helpful. Reading your stories also gives me hope.


Member: smiley
Location: washington,state
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 3:34:28 AM

Comments

hello anitra here, i went to a club on sat. and it was kinda hard not to drink but i did it and am very proud of myself. that night i realized that i had never been to that club sober and i just say how stupid i must have looked being so drunk because i saw some pretty bad drunks that night and all i could do was shake my head. and realized that people just dont know how to have a good time without being drunk. here where i live that is. no one just goes out to just dance. and i love to dance. people didnt start getting on the dance floor until they got a buzz. huh!go figure. i have hope that i can stay sober and that my higher power with give me the strength to do so. ive been sober since the day after mothers day and my hole perspective on life has changed. im more mellow now. concentrate on things that are more important in life. to all those you are staying and wanting to be sober hang in there its a bumpy road but the outcome is awesome! good luck and thanks to those who have helped me.


Member: Eva
Location:
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 6:20:11 AM

Comments

Hello Sito T, I don't remember how long it took me to work the steps for the first time. I believe it was in the first year or two. I first jumped around and looked at various ones that I liked, or thought would make me look good. HA! I finally had to fake it till I made it. I did not know what I was doing, but put my best effort at the time into It. i have done a few more inventories since then. Each one has been different, difficult, yet rewarding. Keep on the track you are on. This is your life and you and your hp know what it best for you. I believe it takes all that we do to make it. You have been sober for 7 years, fantastic. You may have needed to do what you have been doing to get where you are at. An old timer told me on my second or third, best of my ability, attempt to work through the steps, to study each one as you go. Do not move on to the next one until you are satisfied that you have completed the one you have been working on. Do not look any further. Sorta like one day at a time! Good luck, keep up the good work!


Member: Vee
Location: midwest
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 8:29:18 AM

Comments

Mark and bikerbabe; Please pull in your tubes and go find your own private chatroom. I mean I like chaos as much as the next person, but this is an AA meeting. I HOPE to come here and find discussion of a topic, problem or solution related to alcoholism. Usually this happens so I'll keep coming back and just scan down the unrelated posts. HOPE is something I do unconsciously. Most of my conscious energy is spent on gratitude, and today I am trying to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Seems like when I force a positive thought it always has a "yeah, but" attached to it. Switching to gratitude helps. Will try to think hope some during this 24, and HOPE it doesn't make me willful as my will doesn't quite cut it.


Member: Bea
Location: peoria
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 8:38:33 AM

Comments

Hey, Robin in Iowa, here's what happened to me: I was advised to work a selfish program in that if I didn't take care of myself I'd be no good to me or anyone else in my life. I rested a lot, read a lot, wrote a lot, talked to other aa's a lot, drank a lot of coffee, milk, and water, gained a few pounds, went to the Y and swam a lot, meditated a lot and prayed like my life depended on it! Physical changes are different for everyone but one thing's for sure and constant across the board, you'll probably get healthier. I even quit smoking after a year sober and that was a true and perfect bitch requiring more rest, etc. I have this good life now as the promises of the BB are fulfilled and want to live it as long as possible!!! Hang in there!!!


Member: Joe L.
Location: Phila, PA
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 10:49:19 AM

Comments

Greetings All. Erma - Thank you for the topic. John K., Rich P., Eva H. & annonymous - Thanks for speaking up on behalf of us all. I have been sober a long time, and my greatest fear in A.A. was turning into a bleeding deacon. I used to pray - "Anything but that." LOL Truth is, all that I have and all I could ever hope to be - I got from you people. I really mean it when I say thank you, I could not do it alone. God knows I tried. John Wayne was the mark of a man to me. I tried never to cry or ask for help. It wasn't until I got sober that I realized he was an actor, imagine that! I try to speak little and say much, so here goes. My hope is that you all will continue to do what you have always done, so that when anyone, anywhere rwaches out, the hand of A.A. will be there. And for that, (regardless of time) We Are All Responsible. Thanks And God Bless - Joe L. LeachFtown@aol.com


Member: Pete
Location: AZ
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 11:37:30 AM

Comments

Robin.....if your husband is willing.....there is a sister program to "AA" and it's called Alaon. I would not suggest you tell him to go there but you might ask your sponsor the best way to approach the subject with him. HOPE this helps.


Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 1:35:18 PM

Comments

LOL@BikerBabe.com....Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. By the grace of God, the fellowship and a darn good 9th Step, I will be leaving my computer on Thursday May 20 to visit my former wife, my hubby in law and my six daughters in Va beach, Stops along the way will be Fairfield, TX, S.E. Indiana and Cincinnati. I expect to return sometime early July but you know what we say about expectations. I will be traveling interstates, 10,20,30, 40, 65, 71 to Cincy and S.E. IN. Then 75 and 64 into Va Beach.. If I pass you close and y'all want a coffee and a meeting email me. I will sincerely miss you guys. Bill


Member: Luchipher Jr.
Location: On the highway to HE__
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 2:39:46 PM

Comments

Oh come on!!! Can't I get that glass of ice cold water down here where you people ALL seem to reside and want to fool yourselves into thinking it's O.K. Help a fellow drunk out, it's just water, not beer, so surely God will have mercy on me as I know He's ALL merciful and doesn't actually expect me to do ANYTHING except not drink alcohol--THAT'S ALL!! Please, Please, Please.........


Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 5:33:32 PM

Comments

Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. Hope for me started after about my third forced meeting in a treatment center, when I really -saw- the people in my group compared with that AA group's regulars - we were gaunt or bloated, pasty, haggard, angry, resistant, that wonderful been-through-the-ringer alkie look, you know. The sober folks were smiling, heathier looking, had clear eyes that looked straight at you, were laughing about stuff I was still cringing about. I suddenly realized I really WANTED what they had, not what I had. The fact that they were doing something I didn't know how to do (not drink, and live a happy life), well, it gave me HOPE. The second thing was when a woman in that meeting came up, she could see how I was hurting, and just told me that if I kept coming back, and tried to practice in my life what was suggested, **I never had to hurt like that again**. Wonderful message. I think the steps are spiritual principles that, if we use them, allow us to live full, useful lives without drinking. I like that saying...AA won't open the gates of heaven to let you in, but it sure will open the gates of hell to let you out. I'm not religeous, but I like the gist of that. Thanks Erma, for a great post up top, and keeping it real. For others, there's room here for all of us, we just have to remember that when you sober up a drunken horse thief, what you get is a horse thief. It takes a lot of work to BE emotionally and spiritually sober. I fall down on that one alot, and so do most others. See you next week!


Member: Sito T
Location: Puerto Rico
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 5:49:42 PM

Comments

Thank you Eva for sharing with me. I'm working the steps to the best of my abilities, and will know when it's time to move to the next one. Thanks.


Member: Teresa G-D-A
Location: NYC
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 9:48:45 PM

Comments

Since hope is the topic, I would say that My hope increased as I started to feel better, and as I listened to the experiences of other alcoholics in meetings. I heard them getting better, and saw the results of their daily reprieve from alcohol, which gave me the hope that my life would get better a day at a time. I had lost hope that I would ever be like other people with homes, and families, and I am now happy to say that I got married in sobriety this past year. I have more hope than ever, and feel that AA has given me a life worth living.


Member: D-flat
Location: nd
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 10:22:46 PM

Comments

bikerbabe is my dreamgirl, I like your honesty and freedom.


Member: John H
Location: national
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 10:59:24 PM

Comments

Hello all, John H here. 3rd attempt at stopping. Day 1 down, hopefully many more to go. Travel alot so hope this format helps more. Hope this gives me something else to do rather then running to the hotel bar after work.


Member: Ron L
Location: Winnipeg. Man. Can.
Date: 5/20/2003
Time: 11:28:04 PM

Comments

HOPE I never had any. Ron Alcoholic, I dident think I could get sober and I dident think A.A. would help. In the beginning I never ever said I would like to get sober, because if I did say I wanted to be sober and I got drunk it would mean one more failure. When they read if you want what we have... I asked myself "what have you got that I would want? don't give me a wife and kids I had that and lost them and it hurt so much.. don't give me a house and car.. lost that and it hurt, don't give me a good job I'll only loose it, don't give me respect or sobriety I can't handle it... I had no hope, and after following the simple instructions layed out in the big book with the help of a sponcer, I turned my will and my life over to GOD to build with me what he wilt. and I am beyond my wildest expectations.. and I never had any expectations what so ever. Every now and again I look up and say " I sure like what your doing with me " THANKS


Member: Robin
Location: Iowa
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 1:21:08 AM

Comments

Bea and Pete thank you for your comments it helps. I kinda of have a sponser but I have not attended a face 2 face meeting due to my work schedule and location. I do have a big book and I read it alot. Every Wed I talk to Mary who has been through this and stayed sober now 17 years. She is very helpful. I don't know if she would want to talk to my husband about alaon. I could ask her. I really think he goes out of his way to push me over the edge again so that he has one up on me. He cannot let go of anything and still brings up stuff that should be dropped. It hurts terribly because I can't stand to be around him because I never know when he is going in for the juggler. He thinks this not drinking thing is a phase and that I will probably slip because "you never finish what you start...." I love him and I know deep down inside he is a good person that just doesn't know how to let go and forgive. We have some communication problems and I don't think he knows how bad it makes me feel. So my hope is that he starts to be more supportive and less destructive towards my feelings. Sorry I sound like a baby.


Member: Erma G.
Location: Utica,N.Y.
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 4:29:32 AM

Comments

Robin:There is a chapter in the Big Book that deals with speaking to husbands/wives and the family afterwards.When I came to AA I was lucky enough to have had some family members who were already sober and setting an example.Mind you...I wasn't at all enthused about living the way they did except that their lives were orderly(to a degree)and they could conduct their daily affairs with their head up.I wanted to believe,more than anything else,that I was a redeemable human being.Step one was easy and I felt that for that I didn't need your help. I went to my second AA meeting and all the others that have followed because I believed you people when you told me you were just like me.I believed it because when you talked about what it was like the feelings you spoke of were the ones I had had for years.The people in that meeting told me to keep coming back because I was worth it.And I wanted to believe that and feel that as a truth more than anything else I had ever wanted in my life.Early sobriety is not easy.You just have to trust that you are on the right path and keep showing up with an open mind and the willingness to ride out the rough spots.Keep coming..please..and trust that this path that has redeemed so many others will do the same for you if you allow it to happen.I found hope for dealing with every aspect of my life by listening to and learning from the people in Alcoholics Anonymous.Where else in the world can you go and be assured that for free and just for showing up your life can be changed? Thank everyone so far for their shares and I look forwarded to reading for the rest of the week.


Member: T-Bone
Location: S. (but not as far south as you) Fl.
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 6:07:52 AM

Comments

Luchiper Jr. It's lucifer, but then again you always have been a decieving little rascal havn't you. BAD DEVIL, NO WATER!


Member: Stephanie
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 2:45:29 PM

Comments

Kent, I've heard it said there is only one reason for relapse - you chose the wrong Higher Power. We think we're taking our will back, but we really can't; but we can only choose which HP to give it over to, alcohol or God. My many roads to relapse have stopped just short of taking the drink. The final decision comes to who do I want to turn over my life to? If I pick up, alcohol will take me anywhere it wants to - jail, asylums, car accidents, suicide... God is a better keeper for me. It's a daily, hourly task to keep myself aligned with His will. I mess up, forget, resist etc. but the more often I surrender to Him the better my life goes. I guess I will ask "are you working the program?" because the purpose of the program is to bring about a spiritual experience. Certainly we say "don't drink no matter what..." but it's because it's critical to be sober while we're working on our relationship with God and ourselves. If it were only about not drinking I sure wouldn't bother! I am an alcoholic first and foremost, because without constant attention to my recovery I will stop recovering. My message of hope is that the more dry days I string together, the more I develop my recovery and my relationship with God as I understand Him, the calmer, happier and more serene my life gets. Not every moment but overall. The other thing I'll ask Kent is are you willing to be a beginner again. Not someone who has 20 years, wet or dry, but starting over from scratch.


Member: Mike
Location: Colrado
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 6:11:03 PM

Comments

http://www.aadeprogramming.com/ http://www.rationalrecovery.com/


Member: Mike
Location:
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 7:21:25 PM

Comments

Someone posted the following address: http://aaforum.org/12x12/12x12.htm Don't post there if you value your privacy. It logs and plainly displays your computer's IP address. For those not in the know, It's like your computers address, or phone #. So much for AA's Anonymity, huh?


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 9:35:32 PM

Comments

Thanks Mike... i to, have reasons to be paraniod about anyone seeing my ip address...... ha ha (gotcha) buddy!! lol bikerbabe


Member: ...
Location: ...
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 10:24:43 PM

Comments

biker babe is fake just another mark in biker drag


Member: Mark posing as bikerbabe
Location: and kickin for ya all!!
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 10:53:54 PM

Comments

lol))? ? boo hoo then?


Member: Bonny G.
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 10:58:03 PM

Comments

Bonny, Grateful recoverying alcoholic here, too bad someone forgot to tell you all that "we'll love you till you can learn to love yourself." I was given that message of "hope" when I came into the rooms of AA in 1989, and I was so glad to hear that someone could learn to love themselves. I was lost and desperate, and I needed a gentle guiding hand to keep me from suicide. The hope I discovered was that no matter how far down I was, I could still come back up. And I was told that if I took another drink, just remember that the door swings both ways at AA and I was able to return. Through the grace of God and the program of AA, I'm a welcome person in homes I'd never be welcome at otherwise. Don't give up till the miracle happens. Thanks to those on this site who still carry the message.


Member: DavidH
Location: Nashville
Date: 5/21/2003
Time: 11:38:00 PM

Comments

Ken, I got four years in Feb. I work the steps, go to meetings, service work. I also hit my knees in the morning and ask God for the GIFT OF SOBRIETY.


Member: bikerbabyish
Location: hellishelping
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 5:45:57 AM

Comments

Thank you D-Flat...... are yu who i think you might be... if so ((oh my god!....then you must have the most beautiful shiny black hair... gorgeous eyes and i could have loved you very much.... but you wouldn't stay sober...you don't have to answer....we can just leave it at that.. days end prayer.. for everyone.... may the higher power of your understanding be good to you all.... bikerbabe loves alkies..for true and for really...


Member: Jamie M
Location: Montana
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:10:41 AM

Comments

I am an alcoholic and I have been given hope through the program of AA which is somehting that I never had before. I heard this great story about acceptance once at a retreat and the story goes like this. " THere was this little girl and she saved her money for months for a string of costume pearls, she finially saved up enough to buy them. Then every night when her father would tuch her into bed, he would ask her for her pearls and she wouldn't give them to her father, she would say anything but my pearls, then one night she surrendured her pearls to her father and he pulled out a string of real ones and put them around her neck." THis story illustrates how my GOd works in my life when I let him. Thanks, Jamie M


Member: Amber H.
Location: Texas
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:26:20 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Amber and I am an alcoholic. And starting today, I don't want to drink again. My sobriety date was January 3, 2000. I got sober about one month into the pregnancy of my first child. I was living in a half way house for recovering men (ask me how I got to a recovery place for men only, I haven't a clue- something my sober dad cooked up), I was eighteen years old and scared to death. Of course there was a time when I felt like I had over reacted. I thought "maybey I am just young and don't know how to control myself." But I was pregnant with a baby and I decided that for once in my life, I would do the right thing. I would actually stick by my morals and beliefs, tell my mom I was pregnant and have this baby by myself. Gabriel is his name and he was my soberiety baby. Nine free months is the way I looked at it. Got my first apartment, first real job, joined a gym, met a boy, trusted God to help me stay sober and pay my bills. I packed that baby to every meeting I could. I went to a meeting a day for almost a year and half. But you notice, I said I met a boy. Slowly he replaced God. He moved in with me, it was boy meets girl on AA campus. We were in love and besides that he loved my son. I stopped going to meeting every night. I made three a week instead. I stopped using my sponser and never found another one (didn't need one). I consumed myself with him. Then, I got pregnant again. We were married. Life was going to be bumpy, we knew that, but we could make it. Besides, we are both sober. Little Clara came in September 2002. By this time, my husband was looking at two years of sobriety and I was looking at three. In November, a man pulled out in front of my husband and broke my husband's femur and hip. We were devestated. In the next six months, we would live off of 33 percent of our normal income. My husband would fight the pain pills and the psyco babble that comes with those- you have relasped, you haven't relasped if you took them for pain- where you really in pain?- blah, blah, blah. My husband lost an inch off of his leg- doctor says he should find a new profession. But Doc, all he knows is how to work with his hands, what are we to do now? What is Amber going to do now? I have two children (still in diapers) and a grown man to support on $11 dollars an hour? I kept telling myself reley on God, He'll see you through it-remember when it was just you and Gabe? He will show you how to do it. I got on food stamps, asked my landlord to help me in anyway they could, told my daycare center I would only be able to pay suchandsuch amount this week. I struggled finacially, and I fought with the drink. "yeah, but I don't have time for more that one meeting a week" is what I remember telling my sorta sponser. I watched my husband slip further and further in to depression. He would sleep all day, get up and eat, go back to sleep. I would come home with Gabe in one arm, Clara in the other, groceries in the other, baby bag in the other....just to find my little home wrecked. Got to bathe the kids, got to feed the kids, got to pick up the living room, I need to sweep tonight, Oh God- look at the bookselves, they need dusting for sure...not tonight though, tomorrow. "Bed time kids! Let's say our prayers. Honey, are you coming to bed with me?" NO, I'm going to stay up-he would always say. Intimacy of any kind had become a thing of the past for us. What's wrong with me- I would ask myself. I must not be skinny enough, I must not be "acting" sane enough, maybey he's cheating. My temper was getting out of control and I knew it. As the months progressed, my husband just became more and more depressed. I became more and more angry. "GET OFF THE COUCH AND DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE!" I would scream at him. "LOOK AT THIS HOUSE, WE LIVE LIKE WHITE TRASH! DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW TO TAKE OUT THE TRASH? DO I HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING? YOU DO NOTHING, YOU DON'T WORK, YOU DON'T CLEAN, WE AREN'T INTIMATE. YOUR A HORRIBLE HUSBAND!" Can you hear his response? Can you imagine an alcoholic telling another alcoholic what to do? Yeah, I got it everytime. All the dirtest things a man can call a woman. Threats to leave, threats to cheat coming from both of us. God, why did you allow this to happen? Yeah, I have made some mistakes, but did I really deserve this? But I'm still sober. Thank God, because I knew we would make it. The heart felt amends would come- sooner or later. Besides, this was love. And look at everything we have. Then finally, after what seemed to be an eternity of fight, struggling, screaming, and kicking, my husband announces his return to work. THANK GOD. The struggle is almost over. Up in till this point, we had both struggled with the idea of drinking again. But never both at the same time. One of us would seem to have it together enough to convice the other one not today. Soon, that phrase became, not today maybey one day. This Sunday, the day before my husband returns to work, we are coming home from church, beautiful day, good service, we're hungry. He says, "Hey how bout some tacos and a six pack." He said it smiling. Last thing on my mind at the time. I smiled sheepishly back, "No, we can't do that." Why not?-my disease replied. Why not? By the time we got to the house, I had made a consious decision to drink again. So we drank. And we had sex, and we laughed, and we sat outside and talked, and we said, "yeah, we must have just been young, we must have just over reacted." It is Thursday now. I drank last night to my hearts content. I got drunk for the first time since Sunday. Last night however, my husband went back for his desire chip. See, I never met him drunk before and he never knew me drunk either. On Monday night, he had 12 tall boys and was so sick Tuesday at work he had to come home early Wed from work. Yesterday, I called my sorta sponser. I tried to sell her the story of the over reaction deal. She wouldn't buy it. Neither have I. But what I can't seem to find is the courage to change the things I can. I can not go and get that desire chip at my home group. Pride goes before the fall. Now I feel I am 10 seconds from jumping off what looked like a promising sober life. My sorta sponser asked me exactly what Stephanie from Chicago asked- are you willing to become a newcomer again? But then she asked- can you? She told me the chances of me every obtaining long term sobriety was slim to nothing. Someone with some HOPE tell me she is wrong. I want sobriety, I have live life on life's terms long enough that I know I must stay sober. I don't know what happened to me on Sunday. I just wanted to be normal, just for a day. But now I have ruined 3 1/2 years of precious sobriety, the old question of "where you too young?" has come back and I am scared to death all over again. God-please send some one with some experience in this to help. Love ya'll-Amber


Member: Mark M.
Location: Albany, NY
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:41:26 AM

Comments

Amber))) Sweetheart, cheer up a little would ya plaese??? It's NOT the end of the world young lady!!! It's just NOT, despite what AA may seem to imply! I'm NOT trying to minimize it, but I've been sober a long-enough time to know that there's way worse things I could do than taking a drink! The point is the drink MAY lead me there TOO, but it is much worse doing those things without drinking! Regardless, You're still here, as is your hubby, and the idiot who said your chances are slim to none is just parroting AA crap. You CAN be a newcomer again and you can double, triple, etc. your 3 1/2 years BECAUSE you are still sooo young!! LOOK for the positive's you gained from not only those 3+ years, but take this negative experience and let God help you turn it into a POSITIVE one!!! Plus , then you can go back and tell that old hag just "where to shove it"!!!! In a nice, loving fashion Of Course!!! God Bless ya sweetheart, pray your as_ off!!!


Member: Carl
Location: Texas
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:43:34 AM

Comments

To Amber in Houston, this is the insidious and baffling part of the illness, the utter inability to leave it alone no matter what the circumstances. This thing takes us to the gates of insanity or death, thats why only a spiritual expierence can conquer it. The only thing I can tell you is there is hope in AA just keep coming back whether you drink or not and pray pray pray, and when you are ready get some one who has done it to take you through the book. God Bless You.


Member: Mark
Location: Albany
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:47:53 AM

Comments

T-Bone---Dude you made me laugh from down in my belly deep!!! LOL--LOve Ya man!!!


Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 1:28:23 PM

Comments

Hi All, I'm Susan, and I'm an Alcoholic. ((Amber)) I have HOPE, and I KNOW you can get sober, and live the full, happy, quality life you want. You sound like a pretty normal 'drunk' to me. Getting drunk right as something good's about to happen, is typical for a lot of us. Getting caught up in the struggle of day-to-day and drifting away from the things that got you sober, is typical of a lot of us. Without daily defense against the first drink, I know I'd get drunk, too. You're in the right place - struggling to be willing again, and open and honest. Please go to lots of meetings again, and talk with people, and be kinder to yourself. Once you've reached out, you won't feel so alone, and will get HOPE, too. By the by, I don't think a person can be 'too young' to realize they have alcoholism and want to do something about it. We definitely can be 'too smart', 'too busy', 'too different', etc. There's a story about an oldtimer picking on a sober teen about having spilled more booze than the teen had ever drunk. The teen pointed out 'If you'd drunk more instead of spilling so much of it, you might have been lucky enough to get here earlier, like me.' I hope you find people in meetings that can help love you sober.


Member: just marking my spot
Location:
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 1:32:58 PM

Comments

book mark


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 3:30:59 PM

Comments

Amber, please don't let your previous 3 1/2 years of sobriety stand in the way of what could be a life time of happy, joyous and free. So you drank, yep - youre an alcoholic, don't worry, I think the people in your homegroup know that. Plus, I, as a newcomer, need to hear your story. We all need to hear your story. We need to be reminded who we are and where we go when we "forget" who we are. Your story really touched me, thank you.


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 5:09:01 PM

Comments

Amber, why don't you just start over and not count that 1 day you may have slipped? just a thought, anyway I'm on day 58 sober and I love being sober now. But why think all is lost over a slip? I would more call a slip 6 months of boozing at least this is how I see it. I understand how we count our days then think in our heads if we slip all is lost but it is not lost unless you chose to think it is lost. So why not just look at all those good years and just go back to them


Member: j.m.w.
Location: washington
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 6:30:41 PM

Comments

hey my name is j.m.w. and I really think the topic of acceptance is an important one. I have been sober now since my last DWI in November and found it really hard to accept that I had a problem. I have searched myself and asked the appropriate questions and found that all of my life long problems have been related to alcohol. This is a cool site because after reading all the other comments I know kind of the things we are all looking for. I was asked the question when I first got to rehab, how do you feel about being here. I answered with ambiguously determined. As the weeks go on though, I am becoming less ambiguous and more determined to stay sober and it is really hard to do but also easy to do if you have a solid support group. Hey, keep up the good work and don't let this progressive disease take the fun out of your lives anymore than it already has.


Member: jk
Location: l
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 6:51:29 PM

Comments

It is NOT a disease people, sorry but try thinking for yourselves


Member: jk
Location: l
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 6:52:22 PM

Comments

It is NOT a disease people, sorry but try thinking for yourselves


Member: Judi
Location: NC
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 7:39:10 PM

Comments

Isn't this group about AA? For AA's? Then pray tell me Why someone that disagrees would want to post? I am here to learn the AA way of getting and staying sober! This is a valuable tool for me. Please, if you don't agree,and can't stay quiet,please leave. That would be said in any meeting.


Member: Carrie
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 8:51:21 PM

Comments

At first it really bothered me, the negative and critisizing posts - but now I look at them as an example of the sickness and insanity that alcoholics suffer from. Some people become fertilzer so the rest of us can grow, it's just another thing we have to accept about the nature of alcoholism.


Member: JJ
Location: gotchayas
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 9:10:43 PM

Comments

judy-slut go f_ _k yourself--how about that one! carri--go help her why don't ya the aa way--what is that--what you say--how come all you idiots think you know what the aa way is--who made you the aa goddesses??


Member: to JJ
Location:
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 9:18:19 PM

Comments

JJ how old are you anyway and you have a very filthy mouth and need a bar of soap to chew on


Member: JJ
Location: back ay you
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 9:31:30 PM

Comments

I got somting for you ta chew on bitch


Member: Judi
Location: Nc
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 9:53:32 PM

Comments

He'll go to bed soon.


Member: ....
Location:
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 10:12:51 PM

Comments

yeah he is sure a baby he must be around 10 years old


Member: 123
Location: 456 789 NO I'M
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 10:41:57 PM

Comments

Ever suck a 10 year old dick sluts


Member: 123
Location: 456 789 NO I'M
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 10:42:09 PM

Comments

Ever suck a 10 year old dick sluts


Member: mwc
Location: spokane
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 10:54:20 PM

Comments

"I am a brother to dragons and a companion to owls" I have accepted my disease...(dis and ease means uneasy) and at times embraced it. acceptance is a great tool but be careful, alcohol is cunning, baffling and POWERFUL!!! If ya think ya finally have it it's time to get to a meeting and call your sponsor. otherwise ya might do the side step between step 1 and 2 or 2 and 3 or....ya might even do the two step...1 and 12....guaranteed ta get ya drunk. god bless.


Member: D-flat
Location: feet on earth
Date: 5/22/2003
Time: 11:56:25 PM

Comments

bikerbabe? is it you, OMG been a long time,,lol no my hair is brown and a bit receding and I have been sober 9 and a half years thanks to alot of wise old drunks,what did you say again "pshcotics think 2+2 is 5, and neruotics know that 2+2 is 4 but cant stand it." Exactly!!anway,,,, Honesty whats with that? i can only do that on a concouse level. openmindedness? AA critisisum OMG what are we going to do???liston?? willingness i need that but more than anything i need to find humility for with out a chink in that armor of ego i get nowhere, hey was Carl Jung the real founder of AA? did he have a sense of humility to say that he couldnt cure an alcoholic and new that it had to come from a higher power? instead of here take these 2 paxel and call me in the morning.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 12:49:13 AM

Comments

D-Flat...(well hello back) no you "liston"... honey...ha ha ha!)))... honesty?.... its as easy as you make it... if your willing.. and as for what are we going to do?..... well i say our best bet is to try not to have all the answers. On another note... i am still deeply angry about what? i havn't the foggiest.. so do you mind if i get really pissed off about your poor spelling...so i can thereby avoid taking responsibility for my emotions and stay in everlasting irratation? pleeezzz.... just think of the benefits for ya buddy... you can see how pathetic i am and feel great and better about yourself...no? oh maybe your more 'spiritual' and thus above that sort of petty humin behaviour.... or maybe your noticin...my spellin aint so hot...either way Bikerbabes got ONE GOAL and sooo so many assists...LIVE AND KICKIN FOR YA ALL..... p.x. he he.... ok...ps.. Carl Jung is a actually a Carl young man who doesn't like to pronounce his Y's....???


Member: Melanie
Location: Akron, Ohio, USA
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 1:25:29 AM

Comments

Hi Amber, I'm Melanie, an alcoholic. God sent you and your husband a lesson that you needed to learn. So stop drinking now, before you have to go through that terrible withdrawal again. Remember? Take that chip when you're ready. We don't have those at meetings I have attended, but I'm sure sooner is easier than later. I would rather see a sober friend come back from a short slip and share about the experience than disappear for months, years, maybe forever. I'm sure your group feels the same way. Your post shows that you know what you need to do now. Get back to those meetings. And get a real sponsor to take you through all the steps. Even if you did them before. They saved my life, my marriage and made both worth while. They will do the same for you. Love and blessings to all.


Member: disaster dave
Location: cactus patch,relapse ca.
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 1:49:16 AM

Comments

hope is the carrot on the string in front of my sorry excuse as a man/father/husband. why can't I get it? a connection to a hp? why when I pray i feel like i am talking to myself. why do i choose the harder/rougher way. why cant i get it through my selfish/egotistical/immature/ head,that the first drink leads me toward hell.why do i think i can drink like a gentleman,when i really want to drink to get sooo drunk, i cant feel anymore. blah/blah/blah... keep coming back...ohhh now i get it,my story/experiences/ may save a life some day...duh....hopefully my own.thanks and please don't be to hard on me,god knows i am kicking my own ass now for 4 days. hopefully i will get the courage to drag my sorry excuse back to my homegroup tommorow,hopefully someday i can forgive myself. it really is an inside job. and this last lost weekend has pushed me that much closer to insanity. please say a prayer for me,i need all the help i can get. thank you.not a foxhole prayer,a prayer that i will stop fighting everything/one and learn the true meaning of thy will be done/not mine/ i know carefull what i pray for/ All i want is to someday be able to hold my head up and look you in the eyes and not be ashamed of who i am/or what i have done in the past,while drunk.disaster dave member since 1985, sober THIS TIME...since 5/20/03


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 3:29:49 AM

Comments

Welcome Disaster Dave... from the cactus patch... poor dude... you got thorns all over ya hey? well kick back with bikerbabe and all the other nuts here and we'll all help one another...there are lots of sites to check out here, + the alternatives... the neat thing is . is that i got god and i know god's got you; so i don't have to interfere in any way to try and make it happen for ya pal... gee wiz its gettin easier already.. i'm catwalkin outa here ... gotta go nite nite.. work is a really great part of my sobriety.. i love my job... i love life, and contrary to popular belief, its better for alcoholics not to decide they got the insite into what is best for others.. course i slip up on that one now and then... but it sure feels good to know most things are none of my bizness.... hair straight back mother fuckers....!!!!!!!! brac brac brac!


Member: T-Bone
Location: S. Fl
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 5:41:38 AM

Comments

Amber, think you cann't make it back? Think you don't have the will? Think you don't have the desire? READ YOUR OWN POST, that is one of the most honest and inspirational things I've read here in a long time. If you cann't make it back we are all in trouble. God bless you and your family. P.S. next time in the front door maybe you can have " the kids in one hand, the groceries and baby bag in the other," and a shiny new white chip in your pocket


Member: I really care
Location:
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 6:53:21 AM

Comments

Amber. thats quite a story, It took me eight years of trying in and out of A.A. after I had left to drink. to get back. I hit bottom so many times, all love seeped out of me, One morning I got out of bed, she (also alcoholic) was sitting at the kitchen table. with a black eye and a fat lip, I remembered what I had done the nite before. But just for something to say I asked her what had happened to her, she replyed when your beating me up don't put the boots to me, spotted the bottle on the counter poured myself a drink and made it through another day. I can't give you any hope that would be more important than the next drink of alcohol. Whats the big book say.....To be doomed to an alcoholic death or to live on a spiritual basis are not always easy alternatives to face. If your pride and ego won't let you get to a meeting," what hope can I give you"... and even if you get to a meeting and don't find out about staying sober one day at a time. no matter what I can't give you any hope.. Your sponser was only being honest with you, and in true alcoholic fashion you diden't like the answer and want another. Well how about this.... Go back to your meetings stay sober one day at a time. do the steps with that sponser of yours. clean house and trust GOD... or as the book says your DOOMED


Member: Jen G
Location: NJ
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 7:44:03 AM

Comments

Hope for me is reading and hearing other people's stories and understanding that they have struggled and still struggle to stay sober. Hope is hearing from people who are happy in their sobriety and from people who are not. Hope is hearing that it's not an easy road ahead but a POSSIBLE road.


Member: D-flat
Location: here
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 8:40:21 AM

Comments

bikerbabe)) haha, yea i can spell somtimes, whatever, i suppose i should just stick to topic so i dont get my ass kicked by bikerbabe, what was i babblin about anyway,bikerbabe have an e-mail?


Member: D-flat
Location:
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 8:49:21 AM

Comments

so is Carl, neils Dad??


Member: Diane
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 9:06:51 AM

Comments

hi Diane here day 59, almost making my day 60 (YES)********************************************* also I'm bookmarking my spot***************************************************************************************************************************************** Thanks for being here,,,,,Diane


Member: shannon
Location: ga jonesboro
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 1:12:48 PM

Comments

hi my name is shannon and i have 60day cane bey the goss of god and all can emill me at faree267@yahoo.com


Member: Amber H.
Location: Houston, TEXAS
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 1:37:27 PM

Comments

Hello, My name is Amber and I'm an alcoholic. I appriecate all the comments and encouragment(Mark, Susan, Melanie, T-Bone...) from everyone. I went back last night to my original home group (the one I went to while I was in the half way house). I haven't been there in two years. Walking in, I remembered everything I was when I first got to the rooms of Alcoholics Anonymous. I remembered my bunk bed I shared with in the half way house and the women who where trying to find a place to stay in between highs and drunks. Those women raining puck off the side of the top bunk and me trying to hold out a puck pan to catch it in. The chonic alcoholic women who would drink my perfum and hairspray and fill the bottles back up with water. (Before I figured out what they were doing, I use to do my hair in the mornings, using my hairspray, and wonder why my hair was flat by 10:00 am-LOL) None of them stayed for more than a few days. I remember the lost look in their eyes. I remembered crying to those yellow stained walls in those rooms how I was different, how I was so young, how I didn't deserve this. Fortuantly, those walls remembered me and didn't fail to remind me of who I am. Then I remembered my first sponser and how she cared for me, how she loved me till I could love myself. She taught me to be a lady, how to suit up and show up to meetings, work, family functions, etc. and she showed me how to hold my head high. She told her story to me and that is when I realized I was no different. The people in the meeting last night all had very little sobriety (less than one year). Many could relate to my story of relasp, although many of them had only been able to put together a few months at a time. In that hour, I realized how selfish this alcoholic truely can be. Not only did I do an injustice to myself (To Thine Own Self Be True) but I also have pulled my hand away from those who may need help to get themselves up. Not that "Amber is the way, the truth, and the light...only I can help them now" (LOL) but that I have been blessed with the gift of sobriety. We have a saying here in Houston, "if all the people who NEED to be here, where HERE, we would have our meetings in the Astro Dome. AA is for people that want it." Today, just for today, I want it. "I've seen fire and I've seen rain" in sobriety, and I believe it is God's will for me to stay sober and if, for no other reason, try to help one of His other kids through my experience, strength, and hope. Whether or not, I receive a happy and peaceful life in return doesn't matter because this too shall pass, but if I am simply allowed to keep my sobriety and sanity, by HIS GOOD GRACE, then today, I consider myself truely blessed. I brought in my original desire chip, my first, second, and third years chips and turned them in for new desire chip. I called my first sponser, who replied, "Well, girl, it's time to start with (step)one again. Can you be at my house Sunday at three?" So my journey begins once again. Thank you guys, for your encouragment once again. By the grace of God and the fellowship of this program, my new sobriety date is May 22, 2003. Love ya'll. Amber


Member: Stephanie
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 3:46:56 PM

Comments

Sorry to post twice but had to reply to Amber. Amber, thank God you made it back. Pray for willingness, humility and the gift of sobriety every day. There is no shame in relapse, only the danger that we won't get back to the rooms. All we have is today. Get to a mtg, don't drink, and call your sponsor today; thank God for every good or seemingly bad thing that happens. You have a lot of honesty and courage; you also have the humility to learn from your experience. You can make it. You can be one of the 3% of us that aren't killed by this disease. You'll be in my prayers. Disaster Dave, Amber just showed you how it's done. Do as she did and you can have what she has, which is hope and sobriety.


Member: David H.-alcoholic
Location: Canada-East
Date: 5/23/2003
Time: 11:37:05 PM

Comments

There are 164 pages in the book;"Alcoholics Anonymous Some of you people should read them sometime ! You know who you are. STAY--then you won't have to keep COMING BACK !


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: To D-Flat
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 1:52:35 AM

Comments

D-Flat....How ya doin? i have an e-mail... yu? icq is better though....lets be pals..... seeing as your not who i thought you were...how long you been sober? ...so what's your story?


Member: kathleen lonsdale
Location:
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 2:15:10 AM

Comments


Member: Kathy F.
Location: Texas
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 11:21:39 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Kathy, an alcoholic. My first experience with hope came with my third attempt at the program of Alcoholics Anonymous. I had engaged in wishful thinking most of my life, especially when I tried to quit drinking. Looking back at the first two times I tried sobering up in AA, I think I tried to conquer my drinking by measuring dry time and marking off my completed steps. I only listened to others when it was convenient for my goal-oriented purpose. I did not see my drinking as part of my much larger problem, which was my inability to live 'life on life's terms'. I worked the steps only on the drinking-affected areas of my life (as I perceived them), completely disregarding large segments of my behavior and thinking which I believed were just fine. I drank again, just like they warned. When I came back the last time, I was motivated by fear. Then one day, and I don't know which day it was, after I had been following directions for a while, I felt hope.


Member: D-Flat
Location: hey Bikerbabe
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 1:01:00 PM

Comments

well i am me and like it today, just got back from my sat morning meeting, you know its so much better these days feeling good when i wake up sat mornings, Bikerbabe, ive been sober 9yrs, i wrote part of my story in the 12+12 section, yes lets be friends, im not the best speller if thats ok? lol my e-mail is vantheman_caravan@yahoo.com email me and tell me your story


Member: Tom C
Location: Kansas City
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 1:50:42 PM

Comments

Hello, This is a new topic that I am having trouble with, My sponsor started a new group 6 months ago and it has really gone to his head, he calls it his group and really tries to control everything about this meeting. Any experience strentgh and hope is appreciated.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 3:43:28 PM

Comments

CHris here--alcoholic/addict/bulimic///GOod meeting everyone...I am having a tough day... but I am trying to continue to do the things I am supposed to do....believing that this too will pass... I am having to look at a part of my life that I have become extreme in....As a good acoholic, I can't seem to do things in balance...i do everything to the extreme...it is depressing since I am working so hard on my self...Why couldn't I see this? I won't beat myself up and try to ACCEPT the past ( the things I cannot change) and work on the present and future..( change the things I can)...the talk about acceptance and relapse has helped me...I shouldn't worry about what other s think and just do what I can do to change...Thanks for listening...till next week...


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Straight Up
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 4:15:23 PM

Comments

D-Flat... i will mail ya soon...I don't do well with those that are STILL TO SENSITIVE AND THIN SKINNED" as many of us alkies seem to stay that way...for so long and it keeps us sick))..... People may think me mean/sick/ probably even think i am drinking... because its hard for them to understand that i am not co-dependant or people pleasing anymore.. i try to mind my own bizness for the most part as i have learned painfully what i get when i 'think i have the answers for somebody elses situation...yikes! I have had very tough (like were talkin rock hard sponsors who were not in the bizness of dancing around my poor sensitive alcoholic 'one feeling . when they saw me doing stuff that could get me drunk... lucky for me i hung in there..regardless of the fact that i was really pissed off at them and hated them secretly...actually i'm still a bit pissed at one or two...but who's counting..Ha ha ha. i still take what they say and try to do better...i feel like a kid about it and i'm like 35 next month! PS... i am looking for a mate at some point of my life here ...and yes i prefer a sober alcoholic... working the program..and no i'm not one bit ashamed of looking for it and asking for it and i think this is one of the best places to look around while i carry the message... ... and in my opinion alot of people feel the same way but they have issues about the fact that its okay to be human with our desires and so forth.. so they are doing the same thing only hiding it... well i'm not scared and i'm not hiding it and it feels great! Wait till you see my picture...Tell em Mark))


Member: Carlc
Location: Sometimes Texas, mostly New Mexico
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 5:10:22 PM

Comments

Tom our problem is selfinshmess and self centerdness, self delusion, and self pity I am not much but thats all I think about. You dont need a sponsor, you need someone who will take you through the book where the directions are sponsorship can be pomp and worship and sometimes idolatry. Today I crawl before no man, I am a child of the MOST HIGH, My creator and I dont apoligize for it. Our sole purpose is to be of maximum service to HIM and the people around us. there is spiritual principal somewhere that says we stand alone with GOD, but he has entrusted us with this power to help another drunk come back from the scrap heap of life.


Member: PAT O
Location: WASH INGTON
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 8:23:48 PM

Comments

i think you all got off the topic, so i'll just BACK OFF.


Member: David H.-alcoholic
Location: Canada-East
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 8:24:46 PM

Comments

Our problem is :" Lack of power,that was our dilemma" We had to find a "power greater than ourselves". Pg. 45 Alcoholics Anonymous


Member: Joe J
Location: Armpitt Sask Can
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 9:23:19 PM

Comments

Carlc... you have told us who post here what you think about sponsorship over and over and its not very kind... Why not get on with it and tell the millions who have sponsors that what there doing it all wrong. Or is that playing to much GOD for you??? As it is if people are not doing it your way they are wrong. What you seem to have for gotten is the line " if you want what we have." and no one seems to be taken you for real.


Member: ,./
Location: fgh
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 11:11:20 PM

Comments

She's a looker fella's!!!


Member: Carlc
Location: NM
Date: 5/24/2003
Time: 11:36:02 PM

Comments

Joe J if you and millions of others want to idolize these false Gods go for it far be it for me to try to stop you. The word sponsor means to be responsible for another if that is not playing God what is? The word sponsor was put in the 12 and 12 which was written to raise money by Bill Wilson who would have sold this program had it not been for Dr Bob. Since you are quoting the book it says Trust God, clean house, and give freely, it does not say, dont drink, go to meetings and call your sponsor.I never said dont sponsor people, but if you do and they go out and drink and die you are responsible for that too, I see a lot of people talking about their sponsees, their babies and their pigeons if you have pigeons what do you feed them? The book also says he is my father, he is the director and the principal. I crawl before no man thank you. I cringe every time I see these people gloat when they hear these beautiful words my sponsor saved my life, I love my sponsor, I have the best sponsor in the world, God sent me my sponsor, whatever happened to God could and would if he were sought, in all things I must turn to him, or we suffer from an illnes only a spiritual expierence can conquer, came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity, or made a decision to turn our will and our life over to the care of GOD as we understood him. What happens when to turn your life over the care of your sponsor and he goes out and gets drunk? Again if you want to be a sponsor or a sponsee or a piegeon, or a babie, go for it it is not my business. Me personally I will sit down any time, anywhere, no matter how long it takes with another alcholic and guide him through the process the way it was done for me. The person who through the grace of God helped told me he never wanted to hear me kiss his ass in a meeting, because he was just was doing his job. In order for him to keep it he had to give it to me.


Member: Bikerbabe
Location: Hellishelping
Date: 5/25/2003
Time: 12:20:23 AM

Comments

AMEN CARL C ))) right on honey... Sponsorshit.. opps i mean ,, well anyhow.. you know what i mean.. is for the fricken pigeons!! ((totally))...I really just joke around about having a sponsor... i don't have one.. and i could curl your hair sweetheart with the bad experiences in that department.. good golly... The thing is to share going through the steps... and giving period! It floored me how many times i got a sponsor and not once did they even suggest anything about the steps... unbelievable ... Bikerbabe does her own program now and has a firm foundation with the god of her understanding.. I remember going to a round-up: (for the newies).. 'no that is not a rodeo... and i couldn't even have a conversation with this chick because she was fricken joined at the hip with her sponsor... i just said hello and she immediately looks to her sponsor in fear,, what the hell? waiting for the signal? or what? folly huck man... This Sponsor of hers was absolutely famous for the collection of "babies" she had dependant on her, and she had a policy of 'shut up and do exactly as i tell you or your fired...(which in my humble opinion is a great way to keep people from taking responsibility for themselves now isnt it?)) sickening man...No offence: to anyone who is having a good experience...go man go!,


Member: D-flat
Location: somewhere on earth
Date: 5/25/2003
Time: 12:23:56 AM

Comments

why do i hear so much about how spiritual everyone is, blah blah blah, give me a f**kin break,i hear more honesty at the detox center. yes i am sensitive and thin skined at times,not to the extent i was when i first sobered up. I absolutly dont tell others what to do, somtimes i share my experiance. im not a doc, lawyer, psch man, nothin. im a drunk who sobered up. my first sponser was just right for me.fit like a glove,wasnt a hard ass wasnt a soft ass was jussst right, hahahah any way HEY so Bikerbabe whens your B-day mines the 19th of june, i was born in 66'


Member: T-Bone
Location: S. Fl
Date: 5/25/2003
Time: 5:33:43 AM

Comments

We have all had teachers in our lives. Some good, some bad. If you just don't drink and go to meetings, you don't need a sponsor. However, working the steps for some may require guidance. I don't see the problem with someone that has more experience helping and guiding a newcomer, besides isn't the 12th step all about passing it on. You can call him or her whatever you want and you certainly have the right to tell them to buzz off if you don't think they are doing you any good. But, come on guys who has every done something new without some type of guidance from someone. Thanks for listening, God bless.