Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.158.196
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 08:46 AM -0400

Comments

Hello,my name is Slippery and I'm an alcoholic.I have been a drydrunk for 15 years.I have managed to get by without the program,but have I really?I am for the very first time working thru the steps in order to progress spiritually and find God.My question is,is it possible for a drydrunk of 15 years to get what I dont have.Something or someone has caused relentless stirring within me and I believe that God is calling out to me thru the group.Am I crazy or am I finally paying attention?Any thoughts would be appreciated,thanks.SLIPPERY S.


Member: Kerry
Location: California
Remote Name: 68.169.185.57
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 09:18 AM -0400

Comments

Hi slippery one.......i know how you feel because i've done this thing for 20 yrs & today have less than 50 days....i admire you for sharing your feelings....you are not crazy...we have a disease that's waiting patiently to kill us....i admire you for sharing so honestly.....kbear73


Member: Carpenter
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 24.237.55.153
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 10:40 AM -0400

Comments

Greetings from Alaska. Did I ever tell you the one about when my wife asked me to take out the trash, so I got up and started looking for a devorce lawyer? (and that was with 8 yers in the program. When I consider how GOD wants me to live, I dont think I was on track that day. I carried that resentment around for a whole weekend ALL BY MY SELF. Went crazy too. By the end of the weekend, I was SOOOO miserable, I didnt know what to do. My first thought was to try the steps eventhough it was my wife who was wrong. My second thought was to not do the stepps, just incase they worked. ( I couldnt stand the thought of being at peace with the way she was treating me!) You ready for this? Here is what 8 years of AA got me. I said "thats dumb". Thats it. Thats what 8 years of listening to experience has given me. The ability to start to recognize a lame idea or thought. I figured, what the heck? I didnt want to feel like this even if she was wrong. I got on me knees (posture I prefer when sending KNEE-MAIL) AND ASKED FOR WILLINGNESS to go on with it. I did step one and replaced the word ALCOHOL with MY WIFE. I went through the steps and low and behold was able to find that I had just a teeny tiny little something to do with the whole mess in the first place. See, at my house it is my job to remove the trash from the kitchen and put it out. I had not done it that night. I hadnt done it the night befor. I hadnt done it the week befor. WHY you may ask, that I had not been taking out the trash? She had been doing it. I think thats why she got mad @ me. I was laying on the couch after a long days work while she madedinnercleanedthekitchenhelpedwithhomwork.Thats when she did it. She yelled at me. I got all bent out of shape over that. I dont know what a DRY DRUNK is. I do know that sometimes I get bent out of shape over something and feel like crap till I do something about it. THE STEPS. To date the steps have renewed in me a peace and serenity EVERY SINGLE TIME! When I look to help from outside myself, things change for the better. GOD wantS me to be happy joyous and free IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE BAR NONE!. GOD will guide me there with the help of others IF I LET HIM! Sober today, trashcan is empty. LOVE TO ALL


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 172.130.99.114
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 12:14 PM -0400

Comments

Adam, alcoholic. No Slippery, you're not crazy... this is what hitting a bottom in sobriety is like. I've seen it a lot in AA...hell, I've been through it and it's never fun to be there. Will the steps help even after doing it your way for 15 years? Definitely. We have it in writing..."Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." It goes on to say that even the most seriously ill of us all can recover if they have the capacity to be honest. What I can tell you based on my own experience with hitting bottom in sobriety is this* when the pain of doing it my way finally beat me into a state of being cooperative and I was finally willing to follow the guidance of my sponsor and my homegroup, I started to walk away from the person I had always been and be the person AA said I could be. And you know what...the pain I went through back then is the experience, strength and hope I share with a newcomer today. It literally has become an asset in that way. I guess the last thing I'd like to say is that if you feel God pulling you back to Him through the 12 Steps, go with it. If you're in as much pain as you say you are and that idea is giving you some hope and comfort, then you have nothing to lose by following through on it. Hang in there, Slippery...you're going to be okay. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 64.12.117.14
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 12:16 PM -0400

Comments

Hi gang, met a military man overseas about 20 years ago. He wouldnt believe me when I said he was on a dry drunk.. Actually about 15 years. He disappeared. About a year later he showed up and said your right. He went back to England shortly and I lost track of him. Hope he finally got it. Take care. Joe B


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.218.129.24
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 12:38 PM -0400

Comments

Knee Mail - I LOVE IT!!! Better late than never I always say and I believe it's probably what God says too... although I've never read that in the bible or any other divinely guided writings!! However, I believe we are all on a path to enlightenment... it is why we are here... to get it... some beings come back time and time again to try it again and finally get it. If it takes 15 years to become enlightened... who is to say what that is according to God's divine time... perhaps just a breath or a blink of an eye. As long as we keep learning and trying to get better by getting ourselves - our humanness out of the way and allowing the spirit of God to direct our lives... we are on the right path. The Steps are simply a proven method to help us get ourselves and our weaknesses out of the way so that we can be clear channels of God's love and light. Go easy on yourself and don't beat yourself up for what you didn't know you didn't know... rejoice that a veil has been lifted and you have reached a new level of understanding and enlightenment. And lastly... be ever so thankful that you didn't drink for the last fifteen years... imagine how long it would've taken for that veil to be lifted under the haze of alcohol. I love you all, Kat


Member: Tracy
Location: Little ole England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 03:33 PM -0400

Comments

Slippery...Its all a question of HOW...honesty openess and willingness...the day "WE" think we have true sobriety is the day we better start all over again..its not something you get its a way of living...I am sure not all those 15yrs have been days of dryness only..as those who claim to have their stuff sorted do not have everyday a day of paradise...concentrate on the good and let the bad go..today is the first day of the rest of you life...today I feel good tomorrow I might act like a dry drunk..who knows...life is ever changing...Good for you for have the courage to look inside you instead of outside of you. trace


Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 03:38 PM -0400

Comments

Slippery, The soul of a person is the reflection of God's spirit in that person. Where there is love between people that is where God dwells. There is alot of love and compassion in the rooms, an overwhelming power at times, so it is no surprise to me that you feel that God is calling out to you through the group. It is my belief (Doukhabor) that God is in all of us, not in word, not in teachings but in the deeds that we do. Truth be known Slippery, when I saw that you had opened the discussion my first thoughts were negative. I was pleased to see of your revelations, perhaps a small miracle in its own right. Good luck brother.


Member: Mia
Location: USA
Remote Name: 206.225.97.158
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 09:26 PM -0400

Comments

Hi Slippery. I agree with someone that there probably was some real sober time, however small in the last 15 years. Regardless, it doesn't really matter. When one says how long they've been sober, they are usually speaking of how long since the last drink. Not how long their sobriety is of a certain quality. What is important is now and what you do with it. I will say though, you have been extremely lucky in your ability to not drink and I think I would count my lucky sheep for that. I think that you are correct in believing that you are being 'moved' internally right now, so go with it. For one reason or another it is your time. Thank god you didn't have to stay dry longer. Good luck.


Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Remote Name: 64.12.117.14
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 11:05 PM -0400

Comments

The posts tonight have been great, and I see in all the encouragement and love for our fellow AA members. I truly believe God does move us all in different ways once we become sober, some quicker than others. The joy of a sober life is in helping our fellow companions to see the gifts of sobriety. I thank God for my life today and I truly believe I wouldn't have found the joy in life without the fellowship of AA. Sometimes back to the steps and prayer is the answer, no matter the length of sobriety. Thanks, for allowing me to share.


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 205.188.117.14
Date: 02 May 2004
Time: 11:40 PM -0400

Comments

Here is what I did: I went to a lot of F2F Meetings, of course that's all there were when I got sober, until I found the one's I liked and began attending those on a regular basis. One of the those became, more or less, my home meeting. In my home meeting where all the people knew me; my name, situation, where I lived and what I did -- the principle of anonymity does not apply to alcoholics among themselves -- at some point we must become honest with ourselves and those alcoholics around us - I eventually found someone who seemed to have what I wanted and I ask him for help. He said he would help me if I was willing to go to any lengths, but if I was not I should look elsewhere as he was not interested. I agreed to go to any lengths so we got out the Big Book and followed the instructions contained therein. He helped with the things that I did not understand and those things with which I had no experience as they pertained to taking the Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. At the ripe old age of four months sober I reached the Ninth Step and began making my amends. My life has just gotten better and better and is continuing to do so right now. As an opinion; anyone attempting to take the Steps without the help of someone who has gone before is short changing themselves and even more so if there is an attempt to take those Steps with the help of someone online.


Member: chuckm
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 209.197.146.72
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 02:32 AM -0400

Comments

I'm Chuck, an alcoholic My dictionary says "Sober" means not drunk."Sobriety" means mental health, soundness of mind, sanity. When I quit drinking I was sober, but our book says sanity is restored after step 9. When I stopped resisting the steps and just did them my sanity was restored. I found then that I could be spiritual and live step 11 on a daily basis. Peace and Serenity


Member: zak T
Location: Barrow, AK Barrow, AK
Remote Name: 209.165.150.195
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 04:00 AM -0400

Comments

The chapter "More about Alcoholism" is an excellent read for any who questions alcoholism vs. insanity. Just because you made it to AA does not make you an alcoholic. I drank because it is what I did. It was a social lubricant and responsible for many of my aquaintances. When I was drinking, I felt some kind of alright. When I was not drinking, I thought about drinking. I daydreamed about drinking and "showing them." I lacked power and I still do. Alcohol worked as a power substitute for me for a few years. My "problems" came when it stopped working. I could be drunk or obsessing about the next drink, and still suffer from a lack of power. My inferiority, and misery made me rather unpopular, even when drinking in relative moderation. To top it off, people were always thinking behind my back. I tried to stop drinking, and failed. The harder I tried, the quicker I failed. Alcohol wasn't taking me where I wanted to go and I couldn't get there any other way. I had turned my back on God while drinking. I could not face up to the idea of God and do what I had to do. When I became desperate enough, I said the most honest prayer I could, "Help!" That prayer led me to AA. I found a home in AA because I am an alcoholic. I stayed sober by working the steps. I do believe that working any less diligently than I did would have led me back to drinking. I worked the steps with a sponsor, if there is a choice, doing otherwise is foolish. I do not believe I could have stayed sober anywhere near a year without working the steps with a sponsor. Most alcoholics can't. Thank you. Zak


Member: Karen S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 209.165.150.195
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 04:15 AM -0400

Comments

Hello, I'm Karen, alcoholic. I tried not doing the steps and lasted about 2 months- then I drank. I was even praying and going to meetings! But, it took doing the steps with another alcoholic to stay sober. I've done a lot of hard work and have a really solid foundation for my sobriety. God has given me grace. I've certainly rested on my laurels off and on through sobriety, which has led to misery and insanity. If I take just a day off from God, I start getting lost. Alcoholism is scary-I pray that I don't ever drink again.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 65.102.61.160
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 09:19 AM -0400

Comments

Craig L here another “real alcoholic”, (page 21). Interesting topic Slippery, thanks! Alcohol and drugs allowed me to live in a fantasy world. I had been running for so long that I believed all my own bullshit. I was in a constant state of mental anguish and turmoil. I had been to therapy and spent time in institutions, but none of that gave me anything substantial to help me when things got scary again. In learning the 12 steps of AA with a sponsor and a great home group, I began to experience Peace for the first time ever. There were moments when my ego told me my feelings were just more of my own bull, but alcohol had beat me so badly, I didn’t feel like I had any choice, but to keep going. As a result of the steps I have had a spiritual awakening. I have found something I can rely on and on a daily basis move through many difficulties and maintain a level of serenity. I believe we are each an expression of God in our unique manifestation and each of us will experience God in our own way, as long as we honestly seek it. For me, one of the greatest gifts of AA is seeing others wake up.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.197
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 12:02 PM -0400

Comments

Part 3, continued from the Pot Dedicated to my friend Slippery Lying, thinking Last night How to find my soul a home Where water is not thirsty And bread loaf is not stone I came up with one thing And I don't believe I'm wrong That nobody, But nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone. There are some millionaires With money they can't use Their wives run round like banshees Their children sing the blues They've got expensive doctors To cure their hearts of stone. But nobody No, nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone. Now if you listen closely I'll tell you what I know Storm clouds are gathering The wind is gonna blow The race of man is suffering And I can hear the moan, 'Cause nobody, But nobody Can make it out here alone. Alone, all alone Nobody, but nobody Can make it out here alone.


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 68.164.230.197
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 12:14 PM -0400

Comments

That last poem was by Maya Angelou... sorry I forgot to give you credit earlier, Maya


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 12:23 PM -0400

Comments

this is a great dicussion.i worked the first 3 steps with my the sponsor & 4-5 with my therapist.my new sponsor helped with 6&7.now we discussed 8 i read her my list & then started 9 with my family,& i have more to make as the situations arise.so i do my 10th nightly.i'm working on 11.i've been doing twelfth step work since i first got sober.i'm hoping to talk to a woman i know tonite about being my sponsor,so i can do 4 & 5 with another alcoholic.we have an incurable disease.Slippery i just want to say thank you for your honesty! love to all roze


Member: AndyD
Location: Detroit
Remote Name: 68.41.155.151
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 12:32 PM -0400

Comments

Hey all, great question Slippery. I don't think that you will have problems finding what you are missing if you follow the program and honestly work it. I've been working into it for almost 9 mos. now and I'm finding that until I really started to be honest with myself I wasn't making any progress. I also went for the no support, drydrunk as you call it, method..and it worked out for me for quite some time. However, as time passed I relapsed and realized that I needed something bigger than myself in order to be truly happy without the alcohol. I've found many things that have made my spiritual life more fulfilling as well as just improving my overall condition of living. So, my advice would be put all your energy into doing the program right or don't do it at all. If you do it right, you'll be rewarded greatly. -Andy


Member: Kat
Location: Boston
Remote Name: 24.218.129.24
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 12:54 PM -0400

Comments

Jim R - I read part one and part two on the pot and came over here for the finale... and what a great one it is... and how very true. Especially the part about being willing to surrender it all... that's how I feel about my computer and files and writing. I am finally ready to give it all to God. I had a good cry and then a good laugh at myself for all I've tried to do "on my own"!!! What a freaking riot and I can just imagine God laughing at me and just waiting till I finally figured it out that I couldn't do any of it without his help. I see others "out there" who appear to be "making it" just fine on their own... but have they really?? Stephen Covey once said "When you're climbing the ladder of success... make sure your ladder is up against the right wall." How very true... and I'm finally ready to let God put my ladder up against that right wall and just do my part in taking another step up every day. Blessings to everyone here... love, Kat


Member: Mike J.
Location: Pennsylvania
Remote Name: 152.163.252.229
Date: 03 May 2004
Time: 03:02 PM -0400

Comments

I don't know if i'll go through with this or not but may be I should try. First I should say that what I have to say is part of my experience strenth and hope.I started out in AA in 1983.For the first 5 years I went to meetings almost every day. I was able to finish a four year education during that time and then headed out to the real world to help people in recovery. But almost simutaneously I quit going to meetings and ended up bailing out of the field because It just wasn't working for me.I know I'll have to continue this story in one of the other rooms because I'm running out of characters.


Member: Annie M
Location: Bloomsburg, PA
Remote Name: 208.32.94.20
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 02:46 AM -0400

Comments

Hi all! Annie, alcoholic here. Great topic! "Sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly" You're not crazy buddy. you're blessed! I knew a couple in Alaska who had 30 years each and they were unbelievably the most judgemental, egotistical people I have ever met. Some people hang out in AA their whole lives and never work the steps, or only work them once. I love it when I see people who've been sober and miserable "get it" and start working the steps. It's great stuff. It took me having suicidal/homicidal thoughts to realize I needed to work the steps. Then it took me a year to do my 4th step. It takes what it takes. I'm just greatful I hung around long enough for my mind to clear so I could work the stepes.


Member: Rivner
Location: Maine
Remote Name: 63.114.222.235
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 08:00 AM -0400

Comments

Howdy Slippery, It took me a while to learn a key difference. Meetings are the fellowship. The Program is the steps. The steps are laid out in the Big Book. The 12X12 is an extended discussion of the steps and has no information regards how to do them - that's laid out in the BB. Since drinking was only 10% of the problem, a mere symptom of the disease, taking it away was only 10% of the solution. The rest of me was still walking around with untreated alcoholism. So I needed to rebuild myself. The guidance for how to do that, for me, began on page 27: "Ideas, emotions and attitudes which had once been the guiding forces of the lives of these men, are suddenly cast aside, and a completely NEW set of conceptions and motives begins to dominate them." I can't say there was any "sudden casting aside", but the casting surely began once I accepted the rebuilding that was in order. I always found it interesting that the BB spends no more than two paragraphs total for the entire discussion of steps 6 & 7, yet the power and importance of them is huge - so my understanding of the economy of language within them became critical. I've come up with some 50 new concepts for this new life on mine, I'll share one of them here: Abstinence is about choice, not deprivation. The dictionary defines choice as "freely selecting after careful consideration". Rivner


Member: Dolly M.
Location: Homosassa, FL
Remote Name: 65.34.7.157
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 09:02 AM -0400

Comments

Hi Everyone! My name is Tom M. and I am a recovering Alcholic. I will celabrate my 12th birthday the 25th of this month. Slippery I could probably tell you a thousand things and hundreds of stories. But my minister last Sunday said what I think a lot of people need to HEAR. That is we have to have not only an ear to hear but a heart that will listen. We can attend all kinds of meetings, we can even start taking the steps, but until our heart is really in it, we won't have that real success. The best suggestion I can give you is the same suggestion I have given to many before. (1) Go to meetings. (2) watch to see who is really working a program and has been for a few years.(3) See if this man,or woman; depending on what gender you are, will sponsor you. Or will suggest someone who will be your sponsor.This is real important. THEN LISTEN TO YOUR NEW SPONSOR. Remember you want what they have,and they did what they are telling you to do to get there. Slippery its good to hear you think you are hearing from God. That still quite voice just may be what is making you reach out. Keep reaching friend, Ill be praying for all us alcholics.


Member: Babette
Location: Jerusalem
Remote Name: 82.166.255.133
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 10:42 AM -0400

Comments

I just lost an entire post that I thought was so profound. Guess my HP is telling me something. ((Slippery)) thanks for an excellent topic. I've been around AA for l9 years with only a few weeks sober. I had 5 years of sobriety when I lived in New York, then I came to Israel and there was no AA and I relapsed. I had only relied on the Fellowship and not on the Program, so when the test came, I failed. I never planned to stay out so long. AA eventually was started here and I always went to meetings. I think one of the lonliest feelings in the world is to be drinking and/or dry and being at an AA meeting. I could talk rings around people here because I had "head knowledge" of the Program. But I couldn't put it into practice myself. I finally had to treat myself as a total beginner and start at the beginning. I got a sponsor and began working the steps (which I had previously thought were for "you people") I've only several weeks clean and sober but the quality of my life has improved so much. I'm no longer miserable, faking that I'm "fine", or "restless, irritable & discontented". In thinking about this topic, I realize I had to hit my bottom while being in AA instead of before. Why? I just don't know, maybe I had to really want it.Maybe so someday it will be of help to another alcoholic. All I know is that it is never too late. Thanks again for a good topic and good luck!


Member: Jenn A.
Location: Oak Harbor, Wa
Remote Name: 66.147.199.47
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 04:33 PM -0400

Comments

Hello all. Well I honestly have to say that I never tried hard not having help, I went about a week and then changed mind about quitting. It was until I actually asked GOD, AA, and the people aroud me to help that I actully did it. I've been sober for a little over a year now and I thank GOD and everyone who helped me.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 205.188.117.14
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 11:16 PM -0400

Comments

Hi Slippery, No great words of wisdom from me. I have never been a dry alcoholic just a wet one and now sober 19 months. I got into the steps early on because I was full of fear, guilt and remorse. I also wanted what certain people had in AA. I was getting bored with speaker meetings and resentful at discussion meetings at the people that just droned on with no hope. I started going to BB and Step meetings and got a sponsor that had been through the BB and would take me through it just as it was laid out. My resentments evaporated, My understanding of my HP being in charge came along. Letting go of my will and ego came and then this great (peace). I can only say it feels wonderful and I have not lost it in months. There is a man in AA that said he can take someone through the steps in two days. I told him that that is not difficult, doing the inside job is! I am writing a thorough 4th step now and it is amazing what I am learning about myself. I really hope you give it a whirl Slippery. It's a lot of work but so worth the effort. "Alcohol was but a mere symptom of our problems". Kelly :)


Member: Tim W.
Location: Custer, SD
Remote Name: 64.251.163.6
Date: 04 May 2004
Time: 11:48 PM -0400

Comments

I quit drinking almost 4 years ago but just got involved in AA about 2 months ago. Instead of drinking, I got involved with an woman with lots of problems 9 days after I stopped drinking. After she threw me out (3 years later)I found another woman within two weeks...She left & I had to face me without drink, drugs or the warmth of a female companion. I ended up going to AA. It made lots of sense at first, I've found a sponsor, read the big book, worked the steps up to #4...but now I'm freezing up and looking for reasons that it isn't for me. I skipped my regular meeting tonight, told my sponsor I was going to another, then didn't make that one. That's what brought me here. A little guilt and still looking for hope. I did some searches on line about negative things being said about AA and now I'm scaring myself.... Is it a cult?....Mind control???...I don't know why I can just accept the fact that when I go to meetings I feel better and feel more in touch with God. Who cares about the negative opinions of others if it works! Right!?


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 02:18 AM -0400

Comments

Hi. Bill, alcoholic from Arizona. If I can drink hard for 33 years and get something out of the program then it stands to reason the someone who has been sober for 15 years should have no problem. First off the term dry drunk means nothing to me. Dry in the recovery sense means to withdraw from Alcohol. It is an old prohibition term. Drunk means to be overcome by alcoholic liquor. They are direct opposites. I don't believe one can have both. The laws of chemistry will not allow it. I have heard the term but file it under psycho-babble and not AA. Now into the reality of recovery. Normally, an alcoholic can detox in three to five days..the more severe cases is another issue. Detoxed means that the physical compulsion to drink has left you. However, In alcoholics, the mental obsession is still there. This mental obsession can be dealt with through the Steps as outlined in the Big Book. They call it the Spiritual Awakening. There is a saying that may apply and that is if you sober up a horse thief, all you have is a sober horse thief. If you want the horse thief to stop stealing horses, then he must have to change the way he thinks about horses. And that was what I was told at my very first meeting. "Bill, all you have to do is change the way you think about alcohol and we can teach you now to do that"..Good luck Slippery I sincerely hope you get what you are seeking. Feel free to email me if you wish. Thank all of you for your input and being a part of my sobriety today. Love ya, Bill


Member: susans
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 04:04 AM -0400

Comments

hiIamawakebecauseiamscaredthatiamgoingtolosemyapt. ihavebeensoberayearandalltheseproblemsarehappeningtome. amireallysposetorunallthistogether?susanscalifornia


Member: susans
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 04:07 AM -0400

Comments

OOps! I never really used this kind of system. Well I feel like an idiot susans califonia


Member: roze
Location: Penna.
Remote Name: 64.12.117.14
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 06:15 AM -0400

Comments

((susans)) i'm sorry about your apt.i'll pray for you. when i read the 2nd post i was & still am ROTFLMAO.. love,roze


Member: Miranda
Location: Vermont, USA
Remote Name: 198.115.160.132
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 06:29 AM -0400

Comments

susans, you aren't an idiot. The steering committee had to institute character limits on posts over on the Coffee Pot page so some people are running everything together like that to make a point I guess. The promises say that "fear of financial insecurity will leave us" They don't say that financial insecurity will leave us just that the fear of it will. I too have spent nights worrying about finances, how the bills will get paid. I know how awful it feels believe me. Just trust that if you do "the next right thing" things WILL turn out alright. Don't let the worry give you an excuse to drink, do the footwork and trust.


Member: joe W
Location: Lufkin, TX
Remote Name: 66.76.20.235
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 09:52 AM -0400

Comments

Joe, an alcoholic. I don't know of anyone who has been in the program for a long period of time that has not at one time or the other been able to completely stay the path. The books says we probably won't and with the grace of God and AA we will be directed back on the path. Now that you are back find a sponsor. It is important to have someone who you can talk to. Some are able to find comfort in their religion while others just need a good listening ear. Being judgemental and egocentric is normal for an alcoholic and it is a part of the mind that does not leave the body any more so than does the gene that allowed us to become alcoholic. We can live at peace, free of self torture by becoming we instead of I. All the years that I suffered with the disease I didn't need anyone. Now I need you, the fellow alcoholic who understands what I am thinking and how it is effecting me. Without talking to you and listening to you I can not find what I need nor can God get through to either of us. Thanks for sharing. Dry drunk is just the old way of thinking without the use of alcohol. Didn't work then and it won't work now. Keep working the steps!


Member: Sean T.
Location: California
Remote Name: 209.179.204.174
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 11:44 AM -0400

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for 10 years and doing it on my own for most of that time. I made some spiritual progress but when a major crisis occurred I found I was lacking. I hadn't been to a meeting for almost 9 years. On my 10th birthday I was at a bottom every bit as real as the one that prompted me to seek help even though I didn't believe there was any. I said the really short prayer, "God, please help me." It worked again and I got myself to a meeting where I shared my story, something I didn't do much of even when I was in AA. I've been to 2 meetings a day for over week. The revelations have been astounding. Even the deep regret at having not followed through in the past is less now. I made a terrible mistake and it has cost me dearly. Still, I am very grateful for what I have today; a renewed committment to walk this path to a faith that works. I know it is the right path for people like me, like us. May we all find peace. Thanks.


Member: susans
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 12:49 PM -0400

Comments

Hi. I am sitting here in my apt. w/ half of my rent. I just drove my 4 yr old to school and i don't know if I should call the landlord one more time and give her the sad up-date. I am waiting to hear if i get this job on thursday, which i would be honored to get.Susans


Member: mark m
Location: columbia tn
Remote Name: 205.188.117.14
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 02:10 PM -0400

Comments

hello,mark m here,alcoholic VENVER,TOM M nothing else can be said,BOTH of you HIT THE NAIL ON THE HEAD thank you so much for the posts BB IS THE ONLY WAY TO GO LIVE IT AND LIVE LIFE ( did you see thisa slipman) god bless all


Member: maryw
Location: kansas
Remote Name: 68.103.52.156
Date: 05 May 2004
Time: 06:14 PM -0400

Comments

slip, i believe you can do whatever you set your mind to do! i found this and want to share it with y'all. Three Gates of Wisdom ! A King had for only son a young courageous skillful and intelligent Prince. He sent him to see a Wise Old man so that he would open his mind to awarness. - "Enlighten me as to the path I sould take", pleaded the Prince. - "My words will only vanish like foot steps in the sand, replied the Wise man. However I'll accept to give you some indications. On your path, you will come across three gates. Read the sayings on each one of them. You will be overwhelmed with the need to follow them. Do not seek to turn away, you would be condemned to live again and again that which you had run away from. I cannot say any more. You must fell all this in your heart and flesh you may, go now. Follow the road, right ahead of you." The Wise Old man disappeared and the Prince started walking on the Path of the Life. He was soon across a large gate on which one could read: "CHANGE THE WORLD". - "This is precisely what I intended to do , thought the Prince, if some things are pleasurable in this world, others are not." And he started its first struggle. Driven by ideal, his ardour and his strength pushed him to be confronted with the world, he undertook, conquered, modelled reality to his desire. He experience the pleasure and the exhileration of the conqueror, but his heart was not at rest. He managed to change certain things but others would not give way. Long years went by. One day, he met the Wise Old man who asked him: - "What did you learn on the path?" - "I learned, replied the Prince, to see what was in my power and what was beyond it, to see what depended on me and what didn't ". - "Well done, said the Old Man. Use your strength to act upon on what you can. Forget about what is beyond you." And he vanished. Sometime later the Prince came acroos a second gate. One could read on it: "CHANGE OTHERS" - "This is precisily what I intend to do, thought the Prince. Others give joy and pleasure, but also cause pain and bitterness and frustration." And he rose against all that could disturb or displease him in his fellow being. He struggled to alter their minds, and correct their faults. This was to be his second battles. Many more years went by. One day, as he was meditating on the uselessness of his attempts to change others, he came across the Wise Old man and he asked him: - "What did you learn on your path?" - "I learned, answered the Prince, that the others are not the source of my joys or sorrows, my achievements or failures. They are only there to make me aware. I am the one to grow these feelings in me." - "You are right, said the Wise man. Though what they awaken in you, they made you aware of yourself. Be grateful towards those who make you fee joy and pleasure. But be also grateful to these hurt and frustrate you for through, them Life teaches you. When you have yet to learn, and the long way ahead of you." And the Old Man vansished. A little time after, the Prince come across a door where you could read the words: "CHANGE YOURSELF". - "If I am myself the cause of my problems, thsi is that I have to do" he though. And he started his third struggle. He tried to inflect his character, to fight his imperfections, to remove his defects, and change every thing which didn't correspond to his ideal. After many years of struggle during which he was at times successful at times defeated, the Prince met the Wise man who asked him: - "What did you learn on your path?" - "I learned, replied the Prince, that somes things can be improved, others which resist and can't be change." - "Well done," said the Wise man. - "Yes, the Prince went on, but I'm getting weary offighting against everythings, and againts myself. Won't this neve end? When will I be at rest? I wich to stop fighting, to give up, let go." - "This happens to be your next lesson, Wise Old man said. But before further going any further, turn around the gate and look back at the way you'va already tread." And it vanished. As he looked back, the Prince saw in the distance the 3rd gate and realized that one could read a different message on the back of it: "ACCEPT YOURSELF" The Prince wonderad why he hadn't noticed this inscription when it had crossed the gate the first time, in the opposite direction. - "When one is fighting, one becomes blind, he said to himself." He also saw, spread on the ground around him, every thing he had rejected and fought within himself: his faults, his dark side, his fears, his limits, and all his old daemons. He then learnt how to recognize them, accept them and love them. He learnt how to love himself without comparing himself, judging himself, blaming himself. He came across the Wise Old man who asked him: - "What did you learn along the path?" - "I learned, replied the Prince, that to hate or refuse part of myself was to condemn myself never to be at peace with myself. I learned how to accept myself, completely, unconditionally." - "Well done, said the Old Man, it is the first stage of Wisdom. Now you go through the 3rd gate again." Just as he had reached the other side of the gate, the Prince saw the back face of the second gate and it said: "ACCEPT OTHERS". All around him he recognized the people he had met in his life; those he had loved, those he had hated. Those he had helped, those he had fought. But to his surprise, he was now unable to see their faults which has disturbed him so much, and against which he had fought so much. He came across the Wise Old man again. - "What did you learn on your path?" asked this last. "I learned, replied the Prince, that if I were on peace with myself, I would have nonthing to blame others for, nothing to fear of them. I have learned to accept others totally and unconditionally." - "Well done," said the Wise Old man. It is the second stage Wisdom. You can go through the second gate. When he arrived on other side, the Prince saw the back of the first gate and read: "ACCEPT THE WORLD". - "That is strange, he thought, "Why didn't I see the inscription the first time?" He looked around him and recognized the world he had tried to conquer, transform, and change. He was hit by the brightness and the beauty of all things. By their perfection. And yet it was the same world as it used to be. Had the world changed, or had his perception of it changed? He come across the Wise Old man and asked him: - "What did you learn on your path?" - "I learned, the Prince said, that the world is the mirror of my soul. That my soul, my heart does not see the world, but sees itself in the world. When it is cheerful, the world seems merry. When it is gloony, the world seems sad. The world, is neither merry or sad. It just is; that is all. It was not the world that was troubling me , but the idea I had of it. I accepted to accept it without judging it, to tally, unconditionally." - "This is the 3rd Wisdom, said the Old Man.You are now at greace within yourself and others in the World." A deep feeling of peace, serenity and fullfilement overwhelmed the Prince. Silence was within himt. - "You are ready, now, to cross the last Threshold, said the Wise Old man, From the silence of fulfillment of Silence". And the Old Man disappeared. Charles Brulhart


Member: flowers
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 06 May 2004
Time: 12:29 AM -0400

Comments

hi my landlord is giving me till the 10th of may. I have to get this together by then. I asked God to step in to the conversation when i called her, and i beleive he did. I got a ck today for 4 times the amount they should have sent and i called to tell them about the misstake but that ck would cover my rent. A year ago i would not have told them. Hope God remembers this! Is that gross? Flowers usa


Member: stuart
Location: london UK
Remote Name: 217.35.96.78
Date: 06 May 2004
Time: 11:34 AM -0400

Comments

Page 52 has a brilliant description of being a "dry drunk"..."We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional nature, we were prey to misery and depression, we couldn't make a living, we were unhappy, we couldn't seem to be of help to other people..."... just about what it was like for me not drinking and no programme. Recovery asks of me an important question here. "Do I believe, or am I willing to believe that a Power greater than me can restore me to sanity". I suppose if I am unwilling, and am a true alcoholic (and not just a hard drinker or alcohol abuser)then the only alternative for me is to die an alcoholic death....and that may not even mean return to drink, it may be just what it says on page 52!! God Bless


Member: Bobbi C
Location: Baltimore
Remote Name: 172.168.132.54
Date: 06 May 2004
Time: 10:47 PM -0400

Comments

"Dry drunk" - interesting topic. Today, a member who gives a sobriety date of 1968 was talking about being on a dry drunk. While he was speaking, he was just puffing away on his cigarettes. He was politely informed that it wasn't a dry drunk he was experiencing, but the fact was that he was a drug addict and didn't have a single day of actual sobriety since he was still using drugs - nicotine. He just got up and left; he couldn't handle the truth. Step one - get completely clean and sober (no pills, no cigs, no other drugs) before you do anything else, lest you fail compeltely.


Member: flowers
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 01:29 AM -0400

Comments

hi the reason i am always sharing is because i have no money and no life. If i had money i would be out having fun or just eating alot or having coffee, but i am just waiting to see if i get this job and going to meeting and giving my # to newcomers( which of corse they NEVER call) and working sometimes as an artist and teacher, but i am still so worried about my rent situation and all that but there is a lot of good in my life too, susans (flowers) usa


Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Remote Name: 12.108.214.32
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 02:00 AM -0400

Comments

Hi, my name is Jeff i`m an alcoholic. I came to ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS to get help with my drinking problem. I think some of us really need to read our book titled "Alcoholics Anonymous", cause i`m not really sure what program some of us are working on? But from what i have read this week most of us our sure not on the same page. When i came to my 1st meeting they told me that if i had a drinking problem that i was welcome to stay. This meeting was a closed meeting of alcoholics anonymous. If our discussions strayed to far from the topic we were asked to please stick to the topic so we all have a chance to share. But seeing as this is a open meeting i guess this will not happen. "Slippery" my friend the only advise i can give is get to a meeting when you can, & no not all AA meetings will be about things that relate to alcoholism thats for sure, i`ve been to a few that were about everything else but AA. Keep in touch with AA people & yes work the program (the 12 steps)of Alcoholics Anonymous as it is discussed in the book. That is the only program that works for me, meetings or not and find a God of your understanding not anothers conception but one that is personal to you.


Member: johnb
Location: louisville, ky
Remote Name: 67.241.111.238
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 02:51 AM -0400

Comments

Johnb, alcoholic. Hey Slippery, welcome home. There was a sign in a clubhouse I attended in early sobriety which said, "you never have to be alone again." That meant a great deal to me then and still does today. Alcoholism is, among other things, a disease of lonliness. Others have described well the symptoms of a dry drunk. We've all experienced these symptoms, but going to meetings regularly (daily for me), working the steps, reading our literature or compatible spiritual literature, and prayer and meditation keep me reasonable peaceful, functional and useful. Without AA I would be a neurotic mess, lonely and perhaps non-functional. My sponsor had seven years sober on his own before finding AA. He was miserable and felt there had to be a better way. Like you, something moved him -- seven years sober-- to give AA a shot. That was 13 years ago, and he says his life has never been better. Good luck!! Give yourself a chance. You're worth it.


Member: Tracy
Location: Little ole England
Remote Name: 62.255.64.7
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 11:38 AM -0400

Comments

I personally do not have a prob with cross addiction sharing..recovery is recover...most alkies are of the addictive personalitly variety anyway. What is one scared of if someone shares about another addiction?


Member: Betsy
Location: Washington
Remote Name: 67.168.35.179
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 04:05 PM -0400

Comments

It's entirely possible that the guy sharing about the dry drunk simply left to find a real AA meeting after realizing he'd mistakenly thought he was in one. In a real AA meeting step one says completely powerless over alcohol, no more no less. Betsy


Member: Pat S.
Location: Akron, Ohio
Remote Name: 24.209.36.118
Date: 07 May 2004
Time: 06:05 PM -0400

Comments

I've heard folks describe being on a dry drunk, and I can't relate to the term. At times I get so ##%#@* mean and self-centered I have to remind myself to surrender, AGAIN. Those times might be what others describe as a dry drunk. Zak and Babette, thanks for your messages. You cut through a whole bunch of extraneous philosophizing to speak your truth. Thanks,also, to all who reminded us of the difference between the Fellowship and the Program. I love the Fellowship, but it didn't keep me sober, the Twelve Steps keep me sober. Let's not bludgeon each other with the BB; live it, don't recite it. Happy Moms Day. Pat


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 08 May 2004
Time: 12:18 AM -0400

Comments

Before I ever got going good in the Steps, I was told this.."Don't ever put all your faith and trust in the people of the program because we are all sick people trying to get well, put your faith and trust in the program, the 12 steps.".. I did and it worked.


Member: flowers
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 08 May 2004
Time: 12:37 AM -0400

Comments

hi I am an alcoholic! But i have money things too. I think that is why I have money issues, because i am an alcoholic. I love this internet meeting Susans USA


Member: SLIPPERY
Location: SLIDING
Remote Name: 24.223.159.216
Date: 08 May 2004
Time: 11:56 AM -0400

Comments

Hello Everyone,my name is Slippery and I'm an alcoholic.I just want to thank everyone for their ES&H on the topic this week.Keep Coming Back.Slippery S.


Member: flowers
Location: california
Remote Name: 4.27.16.130
Date: 08 May 2004
Time: 07:07 PM -0400

Comments

Hi What isssssss the topic!? I am worried that if i don't get to a dentist my teeth will fall out. I condtantly look at everyone's teeth. I am obsessed with teeth. I want big bueatiful white teeth. I want to be able to smile again. My teeth are wierd. I wish i could get them all capped or somthing, so i can smile again. Don't hate me if I am being a bad AA er by not talking on the topic susans usa