Member: Barry L.
Location: PA
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 8:46:52 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Barry and I'm an alcoholic,

For a topic I'd like to here some input on "Meeting Makers Make It?". How many Meeting are needed a week to maintain ones Sobriety, 2,4,7? Does this number change the longer we are sober?

I'll share later in the week, Thanks


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 9:38:21 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Excellent topic, Barry!

I believe there is no set number of meetings per week AA's should make. Although I believe the suggestion for newcomers that they should try and make 90 meetings in 90 days is an extremely important one, the number of meetings per week needed varies with the individual and even varies for the individual AA over the life of his or her sobriety.

In my own case, the number of meetings I make per week has varied over the years. For example, when I had surgery and was recovering, I made no meetings, not even online meetings for a while, although I did whatever else I could. On the other hand, when I first started going to AA or when I was going through difficult times, I would sometimes make two or more meetings per day.

In sum, the need for meetings by AA's is a dynamic one, with lots of variables involved. And while attending meetings, whether online or face to face is always important for every AA, I think it's most important for newcomers to make as many meetings as they can to help establish a foundation for a sober life.


Member: janice s.
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 10:59:30 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Janice, Alcoholic. Since the only clear cut directions given in the "Big Book" are how we recovered via the 12 Steps, there are no pat rules in my experience. Meetings although absolutely vital for my sobriety are not keeping me sober. Right relationship with God through daily application to the steps is what maintains sobriety. However if one (myself) is spiritually awakened the next step is to share where there are others who suffer. Going to meetings is a natural occurence once I have completed my meeting with God through daily written inventory and meditation. Does that mean I go to A.A everyday? Typically yes, however sometimes it doesn't occur but it is never too long before something vital is missing and off I go. One more thing when in doubt go to a meeting or there are two times to go to a meeting, when you want to and when you don't want to!! Grateful for sobriety and for the 12 Steps and the powerful individual who passed them on to me.


Member: Mike P
Location: California
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:02:47 PM

Comments

My name is Mike and Im a alcoholic when I was new I went to every meeting I could get to because it was the only place I felt safe.As time goes on I go to less meetings but my motive for being there has changed.I find the longer Im sober the more I need to listen its the newcomers that keep me comin back these days.I did not belive when I was new that the newcomers are the lifes blood of AA. But I understand it now.So I go to meetings twice a week this days becauce the longer im sober the more I need you to help me look for the solution thanks for being there.


Member: Dan M.
Location: Woodland,Washington
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:23:31 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Dan, and i am an alcoholic! Greatful to have the freedom to choose reinstated, [ One day at a time] Great topic. I through the grace of god have only begun to learn what my personal needs are as a recovering person. Experience reminds me how important meetings, are after all is not AA a fellowship? I have found 1-2 meetings a week to be my comfort zone. If i do more my magical magnifing mind will not allow me to maintain focus on my own recovery. I am easly caught up in negative if i attend daily. My choice for patterns of attendance are mine and mine alone, each person i believe needs to find their personal comfort zone and be true to whatever they choose! My opinion is in regards to face to face meetings God bless each and every one of you, and may meetings bring you all the blessings you deserve Sincerly, Dan M.


Member: Kerry F.
Location: pennsylvania
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:28:45 PM

Comments

Kerry alcoholic, Do a 90/90 and attend meetings when needed.


Member: Kerry F.
Location: pennsylvania
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:31:33 PM

Comments

Kerry alcoholic, Do a 90/90 and attend meetings when needed.


Member: Kerry F.
Location: pennsylvania
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:31:36 PM

Comments

Kerry alcoholic, Do a 90/90 and attend meetings when needed.


Member: Donnie M(dos3-1-99)
Location: W.Va.
Date: 4/29/01
Time: 11:45:25 PM

Comments

Hi,to all I`m donnie and I am a alcoholic. Today I`m sober because of the AA program. I could not have gotten clean and sober without GOD & THE AA PROGRAM. They told me to do ninty in ninty when I first got out of rehab.I was first introduced to AA there. When I went to my first meeting I heard those people talking about GOD this was a major turn off for me because I had up till that point blamed GOD for just about everything that was or had happened to me, so my first thing was to find a GOD of my understanding (in which turned out to be jesus christ)today I talk to him at different time`s of the day. He has helped me come to term`s with my soberity and I have not had to pick up a drink in a couple of twenty four hour`s. I got out of rehab after twenty eight day`s and started going to meeting`s I did one hundred and forty in seventy I got involed and started opening meeting`s makeing coffee and stuff like that nothing big just got to know the people in the fellowship and before I knew it I was becoming one of THOSE PEOPLE. I`m so glad to belong to the group`s here in town. Some week`s I`ll go to as many meeting`s as I can some day`s I`ll go to two other`s day`s I`ll just go to one , but I look at this way it`s like getting my medicine I take pill`s for my blood pressure I take AA for my life. Today if I count the time`s I stop in these meeting`s and F2F meeting`s I`d be going to around twenty meeting`s a week, but that`s what I need some are sicker than other`s and although I am getting better I have`nt found anything better yet. If someone has a better way for me to stay sober let me know(I`ll bet you can`t), so with that I`ll say good bye or maybe just see you later at a the meeting thank`s for listening and if you feel the need to use or drink today DO`NT just pick your ass up and get to a AA OR NA meeting and talk about it and let the urge pass. GOD BLESS TO ALL.


Member: Jane P.
Location: Woodland, Wash.
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 12:24:41 AM

Comments

I'm Jane, alcoholic. The experiences I've been through as a recovering alcoholic, have been for me is I need F2F meetings on a regular basis.(2+ a week) My own recovery is mine to choose whatever fits my needs at the time. It can be meeting with a friend over coffee. It doesn't have to meet anyones elses standards of the types of ways I choose to maintain my own recovery. To me, no one is the same. Everyones needs are different. On a recovery coin it says, "To Thine Own Self Be True." So ultimately, its between me and God. Thankyou


Member: john  r
Location: kentucky
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 12:49:43 AM

Comments

hi im john a aalcoholic and iam still new at this but 90/90 is good and when iget down i get up andgo to a meeting read the big book every day pray he can only be defeated by attitude of intolerance or belligerent denial we find that no one need have difficulty with yhe sprituality of the program WILLINGNESS,HONESTY and open mindedness are theessentials of recovery but these are indispensable!


Member: Sharon Frey
Location: rainy Portland,OR
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 1:17:55 AM

Comments

When I first got to the program, I did 3 meetings a day for a year(I WAS a sick puppy haha) as the years have gone on the meeting (f2f) have decreased but the online have picked up. Today I am unable to go to f2f meetings and I have always maintained contact with fellow members weekly. There are no set numbers, this is a spiritual program and it is between you and your HP. The fellowship reminds us of that when our "old" thinking takes over. This program is a life changing and is never completed as long as there is breath in me so I'll contine to keep doing what works for me and if I try to fix what is working I'll screw it up . Love and prayers, Sharon


Member: Elaine T.
Location: Switzerland
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 1:38:44 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Elaine and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first day to try and stay sober, third time around. I'm scared stiff and feeling very alone. I live in Europe and don't even know if there are any meetings in English. I'm fairly new to this town and know only people I work with. I'm on my way to work and I'll call the number I found last night in the phone book. I just want to say how grateful I am to have found this web site. If there are no meetings in English, does anyone out there think it's possible to do this reading the big book, which I've downloaded, along w/ the 12 steps and this site? Your prayers would be very much appreciated. Thanks.


Member: Peggy L.
Location: Daytona Beach, Florida
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 1:44:59 AM

Comments

Hi. My name is Peggy L and I am grateful tonight for this meeting. Due to illness, I have been unable to attend meetings and can really feel the difference. Last night I prayed for guidance to re-charge my program and guess what? ...I rec'd 3 calls this AM all regarding going to meetings. One from my sponsor who has the "500 lb telephone complex". Meeting makers make it. She and the other two AA's talked about how many many people they have run into lately who have had long sobriety but who went out. One after 29 yrs. And I had to get my hair taken care of yesterday, kind of to pep me up, and my beautician is also in the program. She told me how she wnet out after 17 yrs. All I've been hearing is that the first thing to go is MEETINGS. I know that as soon as I can I will be up and back into my 3 to 5 per week. God surely does work in mysterious and often funny ways. Imagine: praying for guidance and getting all this wonderful input and now being online at a meeting. Never did this before. Well now I can go to bed and feel like at least I have been to a meeting today. (Longwinded tonight...guess I really needed to be here)


Member: Kerry K
Location: Michigan
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 2:29:55 AM

Comments

Hi. My name is Kerry and I'm an alcoholic, proud to say that I've been clean and sober for 43 days now, thanks to an intensive outpatient program at a local treatment center and AA. I find 1-3 meetings a week works best for me right now. My IOP program is 3 hours a day for 3 days a week, so the nights I don't have IOP I go to a meeting to get me through. Once the program is over (in a week for me) I plan to go at least 2 times a week. I try to go BEFORE I get the "urge" to drink, but I did go one time when I was tempted to go to the liquor store instead. I always feel SO much better about myself when I make that choice, even though it's hard at the time ... no one said this would be easy. If it was I would have done this 5 years ago, when I should have! I just think about how happy I feel when I wake up in the morning without a hangover or regrets or questions about what I did the night before. It's nice to make "sober" memories and feel great both mentally and physically. Sorry to ramble, but this is my first time on this site, plus it's 2:30 a.m. and I'm wide awake and would love to talk to someone (my husband wouldn't be too happy if I woke him, and the cats don't talk back). You are all in my prayers every day, even though I have never met you. We are in this thing together, that's why we have AA. Stay strong, stay sober, and keep coming back.


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 4:41:57 AM

Comments

Barry, thanks for the topic. In 10 years, I don't believe I have heard this topic yet and it brings back a funny memory. In Detroit we had a recovering alcoholic who started a radio call-in program on recovery. He was an 'old AA' who really pushed going to a lot of meetings. He used to say 'if you drank every day then you need a meeting ever day'. Well one day a younger AA member called in and said: 'I believe I ONLY need one meeting PER WEEK....but I never know which day that will be...so I go to a meeting every day just to be sure!' I thought that was so clever and obviously it has stuck with me over these years.

I went to over 350 meetings my first year. I figure I have attended over 1800 meetings in my first 10 years, so roughly a meeting every other day. It seems to be working for me. I haven't had a drink in over 10 years. Except for 2 minor slips, I haven't placed a bet in 10 years. I haven't had as little as a puff on a cigarette in almost 10 years. And, I've lost all my excess weight and kept it off for over 9 years. The 12-step meetings (AA/GA/NICA/OA) and my Higher Power (acting thru the people who attended those 12-step meetings) are the main reasons that I am still 'clean' today. Again, thanks for bringing up this topic, it worked for me! Peace.

I'm not sure if I am 'allowed' to do this, but there is a very good website for those who think they may have a problem with gambling...http://www.teleport.com/~catchwrd/GAweb/today.shtml


Member: paul m
Location: oh
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 7:34:22 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm Paul and an alcoholic.Before I knew about AA I drank, then I was sober for several years by going to meetings, then I quit going to meetings, so I drank. Now I'm going back to meetings and I'm not drinking. The point is when I go to meetings I don't drink.I don't think there is a specific number of meetings I should attend a week. All I know is if I dont think I need a meeting some night I go anyway, because my best thinking got me drunk. To thine own self be true. Keep it simple everyone.


Member: CLARA A.
Location: FLA.
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 9:17:30 AM

Comments

Hello!! MY NAME IS CLARA, RECOVERING ALOCOHOLIC, I DON'T BELIEVE THERE ARE ANY SET NUMBER OF MEETINGS ONE MUST GO TO EXCEPT FOR THE NEW COMER,90 AND 90 I THINK IS SO IMPORTANT IN THE BEGENNING BECAUSE OUR DENIAL IS SO GREAT AND THAT SEEMS TO BE A GOOD TIME TO GET REALITY GOING. WHEN I CAME INTO THE PROGRAM [14 YEARS AGO BY THE GRACE OF GOD,] I NEEDED A MEETING , SOMETIMES TWICE A DAY, IT WAS VERY COMFORTING TO BE WITH THE PEOPLE WHO KNEW WHAT I WAS GOING THROUGH, THEY UNDERSTOOD WHERE I WAS COMING FROM, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE I FOUND PEOPLE WHO KNEW EXACTLY HOW I FELT. AS TIME WENT ON I BEGAN TO FEEL CONFIDENT IN DOING OTHER THINGS, FOR INSTANCE VISITING FAMILY, I NEVER KNEW HOW DISFUNCTIONAL MY FAMILY WAS UNTIL I CAME INTO THIS PROGRAM, THE LONGER I STAYED IN THE PROGRAM THE MORE CONFIDENT I BECAME IN HANDLING SITUATIONS, AND THAT WAS DOING THREE TO FOUR MEETINGS A WEEK AND I NEEDED TO HEAR EVERY THING I HEARD TO HANDEL THE SITUATIONS IN MY LIFE AT THE TIME. AS I EVOLVED, MOST OF THE PROMICES STARTED COMING TRUE, I WAS NOW IN A GOOD JOB AND A HAPPY RELATIONSHIP, LIVING THE PROGRAM, KNOWING WHEN I AM POWERLESS, TURNING THINGS OVER TO GOD TAKING INVENTORY WHEN NECESSARY, ADMITING WHEN I AM WRONG MOST IMPORTANT IS DAILY PRAYER AND MEDITATION,THAT HELPS ME CARRY THE MESSAGE. TODAY I ALWAYS GO TO MY HOME GROUP MEETING ON MONDAY, MORE IF I FEEL THE NEED, I ALWAYS TALK TO TWELVE STEP PEOPLE WHEN I FEEL THE NEED IN BETWEEN MEETINGS. I THINK IT IS LIKE BODY BUILDING, ONCE YOU GET THE MUSCELS BUILT UP THERE IS A CERTAIN MAINTANCE TO KEEPING THEM STRONG, SAME WITH OUR EMOTIONS. THANKS


Member: Debra C T
Location: New  York
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 9:53:50 AM

Comments

Hi i am Debra alcoholic/addict I can't seem to stay clean and sober at all I feel like I am the relapse queen you know an egotist with an inferiority complex in the past 4 years I have been in and out of treatment detox rehab day program I have so many people to disappoint my kids husaband do i even want him and just to add a drama to my life a boyfriend who is in recovery I feel like I have run out of gas I am caught up in the insanity all over again lying scheming and scamming Meetings are a beautiful thing but I just took a new job can you imagine in my condition that prevents me timing wise from making 90/90 This is my first time on this site I am pretty much a virgin to the whole cyberspace reach out kind of thing but because I know about having some sort of program in my life and having a little bit of clean time I know my ending of this will not be a pretty one I would appreciate any kind of feed back on share I feel like I am totally out of control and floating in a nether world I feel like I should take up permanent residence in the last rehab I was in but cannot afford it I love you all for just being Thanks for letting me dump!!


Member: Mikey W.
Location: 40mi east of L.A.
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 10:39:27 AM

Comments

Hi my names mike and I'm an alcoholic. After 6 years I have noticed a big change in my meetings. When I first started I went to 2-or more meetings a day for first 120 days - (I too was a sick puppy) I know that for a while I hid out in meetings - I fell asleep in meetings (the only place I felt safe) I cried in meetings and I healed in meetings. Now I go not just to maintain my soberiety - and sanity -but to be there for others. When I started I was all alone. No family, no friends, no wife, no kids, no job, no home....yucky! Now, I have a job, school, my kids (part time), a girlfriend, I am buying a home, taking care of my elderly dad (who is ill) and socializing with friends (some AA, some not) My life is VERY full.


Member: LaRae S.
Location: Seattle,Wa.
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 11:24:48 AM

Comments

My name is LaRae and I am an alcoholic. This is to Elaine in Switzerland. No matter if the meetings are in a language you do not speak simply Just Show Up! The Power of God will be with you wherever you are as long as you have the desire to stop drinking. I am praying for you and will pass the message to others in my home group.. God Bless..............LaRae


Member: George P.
Location: Humble,Texas
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 11:39:02 AM

Comments

Hello.everyone my name is George and I am an alcoholic of the helpless hopeless varity. My sober date is 9/20/84 and its only by gods grace I havent had a drink of alcohol today. Let me tell you thats the greatest gift that god could have ever given me. Debra I want to know one thing are you willing to go to any lengths to stay sober, If you are you wont ever have to feel the shame remorse, or self condemnation that you have described.As long as I was trying to decide which part of aa I was going to do and what part I wasnt going to do I kept drinking. When I finally got involved in my oun recovery I havent had a drink since. When I began to put others ahead of myself I began to get peace of mind in all my afairs. The only way for a sick individual like me was to attend as many meetings as possible.During this time I began doing what the big book sugested. Today I dont go to meetings to get anything i go to give back what was so freely given to me. thank you all for sharing.


Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 12:37:40 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic, I was told I have to go to at least one meeting a day until I WANT to go. In the beginning I went to 3 meetings a day because I had always hung with my partying friends 24/7 & was bored to death & not knowing what to do with myself if I didn't go hang out with them, so I went to meetings instead.

I continued 3 meetings a day till I had completed my 12 Steps by my 2nd year, because I NEEDED all the help I could possibly get at trying to catch on, understand, learn, etc.

We have a disease that tells us we don't have one - so I wouldn't suggest anyone go by what they think or feel like without running it by your sponsor & others who know you.

I've gone thru times of getting to only a few meetings a week - I've gone thru times of extreme stress happening in my life that I needed 3 to 5 meetings a day because I couldn't even put into sentences to ask for the help I needed.

I attend at least one meeting a day the past several years because I want to give back what has been given to me. My sponsor had patiently attended one meeting a day with me till I had completed my 12 Steps - I try to do the same for the ones I sponsor. Many oldtimers had been there regularly attending meetings to help me when I needed them - I want to be there for the new ones coming in as well.

I would be dead if it weren't for this program, and I do not believe God granted this extension on my life to revert to the selfish apathetic "all about me" and my nice comfy life way I'd been prior to recovery, but that God's Purpose for granting me my life is for reaching out to pass it on to others. Somehow that causes all else in my very full busy life to fall into place & take care of it own self in just the way its supposed to. Being there for others keeps me sober & growing - is not a hinderance nor any kind of sacrifice. One of my greatest pleasures. Very grateful for this program. Pam


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 1:40:39 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic, Barry. You get what you need around here. I just love when God works, like through PEGGY L's share - thank you!!!!

If there is one thing I have NEVER heard from the podium is a person with long-time sobriety say they relapsed while doing everything that is suggested - like going to meetings and being active in AA.

I have a disease that tells me, after I have slacked on my meetings of 2-3 per week, that I don't have a disease. Going to meetings helps me keep my disease in the #1 slot and when I'm feeling overwhelmed with life's situations, meetings help me to hear that I am not alone and that countless others went before me and survived some of of life's ordeals - SOBER!!!!

Meetings are the "check up from the neck up" and the "invisible medicine" my disease requires. How many meetings are "good?" I believe that's an individual question. The main thing that I need to remember for me is that sobriety is so much more than putting down the drink. It's learning to keep it down (one day at a time) and living a joyous, happy and free life. AA teaches me that... no place else.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: KIM C
Location: PENNSYLVANIA
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 4:11:35 PM

Comments

HI IM KIM AND IM AN ALCOHOLIC, I AM BACK IN THIS WONDERFUL PROGRAM AFTER BEING BACK OUT THERE FOR 4 YEARS AFTER 3 YEARS OF SOBRIETY. I CAN ONLY SAY FOR ME AS MANY MEETING AS POSSIBLE. I KNOW I WONT DRINK IN A MEETING AND 9 OUT OF 10 TIMES I WONT WANT TO. I CAN TELL YOU THAT AFTER HAVING THE BEST 3 YEARS OF MY LIFE IN SOBRIETY I CHOSE TO STOP GOING TO MEETINGS...YOU KNOW I WAS SMART AND COULD REALLY WORK THIS PROGRAM ON MY OWN...LOL..WELL IT DOES NOT WORK UNLESS YOU WORK IT... I EVEN CONVINCED MYSELF AFTER A WHILE OF NOT GOING TO MEETINGS THAT I WAS NOT AN ALCOHOLIC..WELL LET ME TELL YOU ..MY NAME IS KIM AND I AM DEFINATLY AN ALCOHOLIC..I HAVE 6 DAYS SOBER AND HAVE SPENT MOST OF THE LAST YEAR DRUNK OR HUNGOVER DAMAGED MY RELATIONSHIPS WITH MY FAMILY FRIENDS LOST MY HUSBAND TO MY SICKNESS AND MOST OF ALL DAMAGED MY OWN SOUL...I WANT WHAT YOU HAVE AND AM WILLING TO GO TO ANY LENGTH TO GET IT AND FOR ME FOR TODAY THAT MEAN KIM GETS TO A MEETING IF ONLY TO LISTEN AND REMEMBER THAT I AM AN ALCOHOLIC AND JUST FOR TODAY I AM NOT GOING TO PICK UP A DRINK ..FROM PAST EXPERIENCE I KNOW ONE DAY AT A TIME A LIFE WILL EMERGE AND I WANT TO BE HERE FOR IT...THANKS FOR LETTING ME SHARE...


Member: Pete S
Location: Maryland
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 4:47:20 PM

Comments

Good topic:

My name is Pete, and yes I am an alcoholic. Sober by the help of God and this fellowship. I don't think it's posible to decide for anyone else ho many meetings they should go to. I heard it said more than once at various meetings that you should spend as much time in meetings as you did drinking. For me that would have meant meetings all day everyday. Not a very good solution. However, as I've stated in this forum before, I went though a rehab program and phased in AA while I was in Rehab. Normally, I attend 3 meetings a week, but I have attended as many as 7. I found that the further I have gotten into the program, and mt sobriety, my need for meetings increases and decreases, not so much because of a compulsion to drink, but rather a change in attitude. I can feel when I need a meeting. Resentmests begin to resurface, I become short tempered etc. In other words, that alcoholic way of thinking surfaces. The meetings keep me on the straight and narrow. By keeping my head on the staying sober takes care of itself. Best wishes to everyone, and with that, I'll keep coming back

Pete


Member: Rob
Location: Toronto
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 5:00:24 PM

Comments

Hi I have been Sober for 7 DAYS and am enjoying it very much. I hope this feeling does not dissapear after time. Only a handful of times in the last 16 years have I spent 7 or more days free of drinking. Rob


Member: Walter T.
Location: Alabama
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 5:04:47 PM

Comments

Great topic, Barry. Very useful comments, all. Face to face meetings are important. However, when there is not one within reach, cyber meetings are very, very effective. At least for me they are. Whenever I have attented f2f meetings, the topic selected always proves to be the very one that I needed to hear discussed/shared. Cyber AA is proving to be just as timely. Because of Cyber AA's, I can meet now whenever I feel the urge (whatever the urge is) the strongest. That is what dictates how many meetings I should attend. Recognizing what I feel, being honest with myself, recall recommended treatment and then thoroughly follwing the path kept me sober a long time. When I stopped attending meetings, I started drinking and drugging. To one's self be true. I never lie to myself...


Member: Walter T.
Location: Alabama
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 5:07:08 PM

Comments

Great topic, Barry. Very useful comments, all. Face to face meetings are important. However, when there is not one within reach, cyber meetings are very, very effective. At least for me they are. Whenever I have attented f2f meetings, the topic selected always proves to be the very one that I needed to hear discussed/shared. Cyber AA is proving to be just as timely. Because of Cyber AA's, I can meet now whenever I feel the urge (whatever the urge is) the strongest. That is what dictates how many meetings I should attend. Recognizing what I feel, being honest with myself, recall recommended treatment and then thoroughly follwing the path kept me sober a long time. When I stopped attending meetings, I started drinking and drugging. To one's self be true. I never lie to myself...


Member: Missy R.
Location: NC
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 5:40:28 PM

Comments

Hello ya'll, Missy here alcoholic/addict about a month and 9 days sober thanks to AA and God. I am still a newcomer and I was told to make 90 meetings in 90 days, however with three children and going thru a seperation I don't always make a meeting each day. I attend two one days whenever I can and I try to make my home meeting at least 3 times a week. I also attend several on-line meetings when I get the chance. I do not believe that there are any set number of meetings for anyone, I think each person has to look inside and pray to learn how many is right for themselves. I have realized that the days I attend a meeting, I am happier and feel more confident and when I miss a day of attending a meeting, I feel down and weak and discouraged. So I believe that you should attend as many meetings as you possible can and still feel comfortable. Thanks ya'll I really enjoy this place and when ever I feel lonely I come here and read ya'lls comments and I know that I am not alone. Hugs to you all!


Member: Jamie S.
Location: Tumwater, WA
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 6:11:20 PM

Comments

Jamie alcoholic here. This is for Elaine in Switzerland. Yes you can recover with just the Big Book. It does take studing, but the book has clear-cut directions. If you do like it says you'll get sober and into a relationship with a higher power.

When I first started to go to meetings I went just about every day and still relapsed. That showed me that meetings wheren't enough. When I got into the Big Book I realized that I was beyond human aid. Human includes meetings, sponser, treatment, etc... I found that the only way, for me to maintain sobriety was to do the steps.

jamie


Member: Oracle
Location:
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 7:27:20 PM

Comments

Meeting makers make it! ~They surly do, they make AA what it is or isn't. Never have I attended an AA meeting that I havent come away from it a lesser man. The crowd is untruth; And what could have been a gathering at the city gate as in days of old to say: 'what ever shall we do' Instead, has become a place to practice deceite, as if it truly does work. Better for me to hear what it use to be like, than what happened and what its like now. What happened is watered down to sound acceptable and the injustice of what has happened covered over. What its like now is altogether false and feigned as if we are getting someplace by getting sober, when in fact we are yet the more oppressed than before. For having failed to find God's benifits because we've cast his word behind our back and embraced the big book instead, we now have neither God nor the booze that used to console us. To me getting sober is but one more link in the chain of unmanagabe life having no more of God than we do. For why leave the sauce that used to be boss behind, to keep from leaving everything else behind, and that, because we refuse to let go of our old ideas? I find no recovery in being more deprivledged than I was before without the benifits of God. The whole idea is, that life in the world ceases to work and we look to God for the way out and try to get sober enough to do so!


Member: Alex B
Location: Rochester NY
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 9:57:39 PM

Comments

Hi I'm Alex, sober since 01/01/84. I believe the best approach is to attend as many as neccesary, if that is 90 meetings in 90 days, then that's what I would do. I still attend between 6 to 8 meetings per week. I am fortunate enough to live in a fairly large metroplitan area with over 500 meeting per week. I can go first thing in the morning or later at night.One thing I can attest to is that "Meeting makers make it"and that when in pain or fearing for my sobriety, I can also pick up the telephone and call a friend in AA. That has been a lifeline I have used MANY times. BTW this online chat room is a great resource also. Tahnks to all the comments.


Member: DRY IN THE DESERT
Location: NEVADA
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 10:53:36 PM

Comments

Good Evening Everyone;

My name is Walter and I am an Alcoholic !!

Today I am celebrating 12 years of a Blessed Sobriety !!

In my case, I only 'NEEDED" one meeting....the first. When I raised my hand and all those folks said "HI WALTER" I knew I was home with the family I had always craved.

When possible, I go to daily meetings. I was once told that a daily meeting is our Spiritual "Daily Bread" we take for our Living Program.

Lately, I have been living and working in a remote area with the nearest meetings a 230 mile round trip. Naturally, I cannot do that on a daily basis, but all of you in my "Cyber Home Group" are always here for me.

Thanks Family


Member: Shannon M
Location:
Date: 4/30/01
Time: 10:57:39 PM

Comments

My name is Shannon and I'm an alcoholic. When I was about three months sober, I asked my sponsor how many meetings I should go to. She said, "go to seven the first week, six the second week, five the third week, four the fourth week, three the fifth week, two the sixth week, one the seventh week, and none the eighth week, and then when you get drunk, start over and go to ninety in ninety. That made me laugh. It's true for me.. when I relapsed after being sober eight months, I had cut down on meetings. They had become less of a priority. Now (four years later) I know what my comfort level is, and so do my friends in the fellowship. I try to make at least three meetings a week, more if I'm feeling squirrelly. Fewer than three meetings a week and I become restless, irritable and discontent. The longer that goes on, the more likely I am to think a drink is a good idea. One thing that keeps me going to meetings is the thought that I might be able to help a newcomer, or that a newcomer might be able to help me. Thanks for the topic.


Member: Ila N
Location:
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 12:03:05 AM

Comments

Hi im ila, and i am an alcoholic. DOS is 5-3-01. Making meetings for me is not easy. I have no car and i have veary few friends. I had to give most of them up. I did not make a meeting today and i am regreting that big time. I have a craving and i am scared. Meetings should be gottin to. I will walk if i have to from now on.


Member: Jason M
Location: IN
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 12:12:39 AM

Comments

Hi I am Jason M alcoholic. I feel that the number of meetings is whatever you feel best with . Only you can know what works for you . I feel that you need to be in control of your recovery, and if you can't get to a meeting.Still feeling good being sober. Pray that all of you find GOD, SOBRITY,and a life of happy peaceful living. Thanks and talk to you next week.


Member: Len.P.
Location: Edmonton Canada
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 1:30:54 AM

Comments

Hi everyone,my name is len and I am an alcoholic. I was sober in A.A. for 14 years and went to lots of meetings.In fact I was still going to lots of meetings when I got drunk.I have found that going to meetings is not enough,recovery is possible only through working the steps of A.A.In the 14 years I went to meetings I only worked up to step 5.As a result of that I lost my defence against the first drink.Go to as many meetings as you want to but meetings will not keep you sober in the long run.Living the twelve steps will keep you sober,meetings or no meetings.


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 2:27:20 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic.To me that statement meeting makers make it, is bad.Meeting makers do NOT necessarily make it.I have enjoyed continous sobriety since the 23rd of November 1987.I have sat in many meeting with people who day after day attend meetings, yet for some reason still end up going out and gettiing drunk.Something is missing.For me I need the Grace of God in my life and the twelve step program of Alcoholics Anonymous.When I hear someone tell a newcomer just don't drink and go to meetings I cringe.For me that can be very misleading.I enjoy it most when I hear an oldtimer say don't drink, go to meetings and WORK the steps. As far as number of meetings go, early on I used to get to as many meetings as possible.I needed to be there, today I want to be there.Old A A advice if you drank everyday get to a meeting everyday.As we begin to get back our lives thanks to Alcoholics Anonymous this becomes a little harder to do.I have learned from my own experience when I don't want to go to a meeting, thats the time I need to go to a meeting. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.


Member: Gary G
Location: ALASKA
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 3:35:49 AM

Comments

My name is Gary and I'm an alcholic, Rob from Toronto, nice going on seven days. In the beginning the first few days even the first few weeks can be wonderful the head clears up food taste better and then clear thinking returns. The old timers call it a pink cloud. The felling does dissapear but in time it slowly comes back. Keep up the good work. G.G. Elaiine from Switzerland, good first step, if all else fails in finding a meeting in English you can write AA in N.Y.. They will set you up on a mailing list and send you tapes and information by mail. The address is in the big book and put on the front of the letter atten: Loner meetings. As ever, Gary G.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West Florida
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 6:15:52 AM

Comments

Good Morning Family Charlie Darling a very gratful recovering Alcholic, and yes meeting makers make it, as I have just over 4 years, but I only have today to stay sober, as I try to keep my program as simple as I can. I go to a meeting everyday, and that si what I need to help me stay sober, and I call my sponsor, and also other Alcholics everyday. In The beginning I did my 90/90 but found that if I continued to go to meetings regulary it helped my sanity more than I realized, and I kept coming back like they said, and today I have alot of gratitude for following the suggestions from other members, even if I didn't like the suggestions I did them as it helped me to get to the person I enjoy being around, and also people like to be around me as well. And Elaine T I said a prayer for you that you find what you need, you are on the right step and you are seeking the help, and life will get better, and it will amaze you. There has to be meetings that are in English if not keep staying on line as this site helped me for 5 months when I was away and couldn't get to meetings, this site is a very great help to all of us, and they are caring about us, and will help with thier ESH. thank you for letting me share, and I will keeep coming back as I like whom I am becoming.kwduke@keysdigital.com


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 7:17:35 AM

Comments

I am anil and I AM AN ALCOHOLIC to me the number of meetings a person need to attend is dependent on individual more craving I had for drinking more meetings i attended. I learnt through my ass as u may phrase it. I sat in the meetings after meetings until i understood the meaning of sobriety, remained sane attend bible study to remain in touch with my higher power.


Member: Tom M
Location: Homosassa  Florida
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 9:05:09 AM

Comments

Meetings are the life blood of my program. I need to feed that blood. The better I feed it the more it can do for me. I also have to practice moderation. Too much and I get fat and lazy, To little and I begin to not feel so well, and I don't funtion very well. I like verity in my food, and I like the same in my meeting. This works for me. When I first started going to meetings, ten year ago the 25th of this month. I went to as many step meetings as I could. 90 meetings in 90 days. I suggest anyone comming into the program do the same. Thanks for the opportunity to share.


Member: shelley c
Location: london
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 11:19:43 AM

Comments

my name is shelley and i am an alcoholic. hi everybody, speaking from london, england-4.05pm. been going to aa since february and am going thro different "moods" from one day to the next! Gone thro a period of "honeymoon", to the depths of despair. started to go to aa meetings with a view to "dipping my toe" in it - once a week! Am beginning to realise that if i want to stay sober and have a happy life, i have to go to a meeting every day if i can - more if i can, for a long time. Didn't think my problem was that bad, not that serious, "manageable" if i went to a meeting a couple of times a week - i was wrong, i was kidding myself. feelings and madness are starting to overflow again, but this time i dont have the booze to numb them and push them away. if i'm not going to drink, i realise i must do something more. this scares me - but i am going to try to be honest and rely on my "higher power" to practically help! I know my practical part is to get to meetings at every opportunity and that means per day if i can, because i know i am my own worst enemy and try not to go to them! Thankyou to those who have told me to go to a meeting especially when i dont want to! it's always the best thing for me. warmest regards to my new family.


Member: EvinD
Location: Florida
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 11:39:55 AM

Comments

My name is Evin and I'm an alcoholic.

Good topic and particularly relevant as it has been going though my mind lately.

I can only speak from personal experience. In my first year of sobriety I attended 90 meetings in 90 days. I continued to attend daily for the first year+. In addition I had a great sponsor and an AA friend who I spoke to every day. Sometimes 3 times a day. That's what got me through. That and the AA messages for sobriety. "Easy does it", "one day at a time", "God never gives us more than we can handle"

As my recovery progressed I got back into the workforce and in time my meetings became fewer and fewer. I did keep in regular contact with my sponsor. However, despite being sober, my old behaviours began to seep back into my life. A lie here, being dishonest there. I began to feel rotten again. And I got fired for dishonesty - from a great job. I got what I deserved and with it a loud wakeup call to get back into the program.

So I've learned a valuable lesson - Thank God while keeping my sobriety. Stay close to the program - it's the only lifeline in this stormy sea.


Member: Sean T.
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 12:20:14 PM

Comments

My name is Sean and I am an alcoholic. I did three meeting a day for the first 90 days and at least one a day for the next nine months. At 19 months sobriety I do 5-7 per week. The question is how much time was I willing to spend on drinking and using?-Did I drink/use every day? Of course I did-I spent 24/7 drinking and using for many years. So I feel the effort of at least 5-7 meetings per week is a tiny fraction of the time I spent drinking and using-And for this- I get sobriety, serenity, the steps, fellowship, gratitude, a higher power, and a chance in life. What a deal!!!!! Thank you.


Member: Sean T.
Location: Costa Mesa, CA
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 12:20:19 PM

Comments

My name is Sean and I am an alcoholic. I did three meeting a day for the first 90 days and at least one a day for the next nine months. At 19 months sobriety I do 5-7 per week. The question is how much time was I willing to spend on drinking and using?-Did I drink/use every day? Of course I did-I spent 24/7 drinking and using for many years. So I feel the effort of at least 5-7 meetings per week is a tiny fraction of the time I spent drinking and using-And for this- I get sobriety, serenity, the steps, fellowship, gratitude, a higher power, and a chance in life. What a deal!!!!! Thank you.


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 12:31:38 PM

Comments

i go to meetings because of my "built in forgetter" when we have an operation we are in pain ,but after 2 weeks it's maybe a little discomfort,then after 2 months we don't feel the pain at all,like we never had the operation...with alcohol for me it's the same thing,as i start feeling better i start forgetting all the pain it caused,then i start thinking that it would be ok to drink again...but by going to meetings and reading the big book and listening to others i DO remember the pain,as if it was yesterday and that keeps me sober i have to remember the pain and help someone else with theirs...going to meetings when i feel good is as important to me as going to meeting when i'm not feeling so hot...i say,go to as many as you possibly can to "remember the pain"....i'm tony an alcoholic


Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 3:45:30 PM

Comments

Mark. alcoholic, I've heard through the years that I either go to meetings and live, or I get drunk and die. Real simple, isn't it? Gary, if this is indeed the Gary we all know here in North Pole, WHEN DID YOU LEARN HOW TO USE A COMPUTER???? LMAO, See you on Friday night. Guess Brad was scraping the bottom of the barrel when he came up with the speaker for the annual potluck.

Mark


Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 4:58:30 PM

Comments

Hello World

I do about three meetings a week, sometimes less sometimes more. 90 in 90 is not a big thing over here, but i guess had i done 90 in 90 i might of sober quicker. being a single parent that is or was impossible, i drank at home for the most part. Meetings mean a lot to me, i wouldnt be sober without them, as a newcomer they are very important, i wasnt alone. If the only thing i need to stay sober now is the program, then newcomers entering would have a real big problem. AA is never far from my mind, and i like it there.


Member: Mark D.
Location: Tempe , AZ
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 5:35:17 PM

Comments

Hello Everyone,

I try to go to about three meetings per week, I would like to go to more but my work schedule gets in the way of some of the meetings I prefer.

Take care, Mark D.


Member: for me &YOU
Location: with pie-eyed
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 10:02:51 PM

Comments

i like 69/69............it works if you work it,

if it dont work when you work it,try viagra.


Member: James C
Location: Chicago area
Date: 5/1/01
Time: 10:34:07 PM

Comments

I'm James, and I'm an alcoholic and drug addict. Thanks for the excellent topic.

I've been sober now for 238 days and I go to about ten meetings a week. I go to the early morning meeting before worktime because 1) that meeting is filled with people with long-term sobriety (and that's what I want); 2) because what I hear and learn at the early meeting stays with me all thru the day and; 3) because I would have spent at least that much time -non-productively- if I were still drinking.

I try to attend several meetings outside my home group each week. Friday night is always a good candidate because I used to consider that "party night". So I still party with my friends after the AA meeting. After all these larger meetings, I find I also need to attend some intimate meetings, usually only four to six people.

But more important to me than the number of meetings is my attitude when I attend. After spending over thirty years without a Higher Power I had to have a more direct way of listening to Him. To me, each and every comment at a meeting is God's way of telling me, of teaching me, something. I have to listen to hear that message.

I work the Steps -- all of them. Bill W and Dr. Bob thought #12 was especially important, and I agree.

My best to you all.

JC


Member: Dude L.
Location: WA
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 1:21:30 AM

Comments

I am not drinking today


Member: Angelica U.
Location: NJ
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 1:27:02 AM

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Angelica and I am an alcoholic. "Meeting Makers Make It!" I also go to rehab once a week and I was just talking about how important it is for me to go to at least 4-5 meetings per week... for me. I have been sober for 5 months (11/26/01) and I have gone to no less than 4 to 5.... except last week. My schedule was crazy and i only made two meetings. well, all week i was feeling so off center and out of focus. I kept praying to God to relieve me from all unnecessary anxiety etc. I just felt terrible. The following week i was back to my old routine and feeling my sober good self again and i realized i felt so terrible because i wasn't making enough meetings. I have heard so many times in the rooms how this one and that one who have multiple years of sobriety go back out, and the common reason why is they stopped going to meetings. It's not worth the risk for me to not go or cut back. I look foward to going. because of my Higher Power and AA i am truly living for the first time in my life. Its the first time i can look in the mirror and like what i see. I'm comfortable in my own skin. I"M HAPPY!! i believe if your HONEST and go to meetings you'll make it!! thanks for letting me share...


Member: AZbill
Location: az-bill@mindspring.com
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 2:02:05 AM

Comments

HI Bill here, AA; Alcoholic from Arizona. Please note the email change. Darn good topic Barry.

Meetings are not only important, they are vital. In the beginning we find that lack of power is the problem. So we need to seek a power. This power will come from two sources. From the meetings and from a spiritual source.

All over the course of my sobriety God has not once sat down with me at my breakfast table and outlined my recovery for me. So I have to attend meetings and allow Him to speak to me through you.

There is safety in meetings. We find we never need to be alone again unless we choose to. There is also power in meetings. Usually when one person is sharing others are quiet and attentive. That's power folks. A power you will not find at the local pub nor the office parties. There is power in numbers. Catch a single snowflake in your hand and It will turn to a drop of water in a couple of hearbeats. Put a few of those suckers together and they can close the Trail Ridge Highway in Colorado from Mid October until Late May. Power in numbers. :)

How many meetings? I don't know. There is no formula other then as many as you need to get comfortable. The most paramount meeting is the Home Group. Read the grapevine publication "The Home Group: Heartbeat of AA". This is the meeting that we know each other so well we can tell by looking whether you are hurting or happy. This is the meeting that starts us off into recovery.

Our recovery system is like a three legged stool The Steps: How it works; the Traditions: Why it works; Service: What keeps it working. Take away even one leg and our stool gets a bit wobbly.

Thank you all for being a part of my sobriety today.

Bill

az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: Mary T
Location: SC
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 3:33:22 AM

Comments

Mary, here and an alcoholic. Debra, CT from New York, my heart goes out to you. I have had a lot of trouble with relapse, too. I emailed American Council on Alcoholism and they responded to me that there was nothing I was "doing wrong" but that I might do better with a more structured program, i.e. treatment center. They even sent me a list of treatment centers in my area. I am going to go to treatment, because my better side really wants to stay sober. I had stayed sober this time for six days. Then I missed a meeting on Sunday and guess what? Slip on Sunday afteroon. I really believe that if I had gone to a meeting on Sunday when I knew I should have, I would have stayed sober that day. There seems to be a message for me in this duh. Right now at least I need a meeting every day. Maybe more. I have given a lot of thought to why I just do not seem to "get" the program. I have seen people who apparently just work the program cafeteria style and they still manage to stay sober. I have heard of people in jail who have done horrible things getting sober and I think, I am a good person, why am I have such a hard time with this? It does not seem fair.

I guess that what some of the others have said about working the Steps being the way to sobriety may be the key for me. I really don't know what I am doing wrong, if anything. I can only keep praying, try the treatment center, keep goingto meetings, and work more on the Steps. It does say in the Big Book that we are beyond human aid. So the solution must be in our relationship to our higher power. It takes commitment, too, something I am not very good at. But I will just keep trying. So God bless everyone for sharing. Thanks, Mary.


Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 5:35:50 AM

Comments

to Elaine...when I was visiting Geneva there were English speaking meetings 7 days/wk. I not only needed them for my sobriety, but also (since I don't speak French) I found English speaking people to go have coffee with.

Funny story about my first day in Geneva. I had called the AA number and found out there was a meeting across the border in France (Ferney Voltare?). Anyway, I came out of the cathedral Sunday night to the bus stop across the street. I found the right bus stop, but I was afraid I might get on the bus going the wrong way. I was studying the sign at the bus stop trying to figure out the French when a guy walked up. I figured, what the heck I'll try to speak, so I said 'Vous a vous...Ferney Voltaire???' (I had no idea what I had said!) The guy said to me...'are you going to AA?'!!! He introduced himself as the 'Iceman' from Philly! We rode the bus together. He knew some French which was helpful at the customs check. But, more important, he knew where the meeting was from the bustop (I never would have found it myself). After the small meeting someone gave us both a ride back to Geneva and we all had coffee. It was just like I had family in Geneva. AA meetings are G-R-E-A-T.


Member: Debra c t
Location: New York
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 9:20:21 AM

Comments

Thnks to Mary T from SC for responding to my share I know the topic id meetings and meeting makers make it but and I know that is a big but I feel like all the substances have me by the balls This morning for instance I was puking until I popped some pills I am also sorry I know it is a tradition at least in the other fellowship not to share if you have used any mind altering substance but I really had to put it out there where I have gotten myself to again and how the grips of this disease are so powerful,cunning,insidious and baffling I love this site for existing I hoping I will share soon that I have at least 24 hours back and thank you all for just being who you are Your are loved now I just have to figure out how to love myself enough!!!!!!


Member: Debra c t
Location: New York
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 9:44:33 AM

Comments

P.S. to my last post my e-mail address is Dct55555@aol.com if anyone would like to share directly with me how they attained their recovery and why it seems so unreachable to me meetings or no meetings I have gone to meetings high or used before or after them The only time I seem to get some time under my belt is when I get into a long term treatment program when I have to report to the substance police through urine's and breathilizers it then seems to jump start me for a few months after but then the resentments set in(sometimes fueled by individuals at meetings and I know I constantly chant to myself principles before personalities)and major reservation and taking back of my will Thank you all for just being and I love you all for that maybe now if I could figure out how to love myself!!!!


Member: Kathleen F.
Location: Oxnard
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 11:51:56 AM

Comments

Hi, My name is Kathleen and I am an alcoholic/addict. I don't really feel comfortable unless I go to 3 meetings a week. I know that the number of meetings will vary for each person in terms of their comfort zone. I just know that if I don't go to meetings I am a mess. I agree with the others who have shared that my sobriety is a direct result of working the steps as they are laid out in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and forming a relationship with God as I understand God. But the meetings are a vital component of the equation for me. I am not sure exactly why I feel better after attending, I just know that I do and that is good enough for me. I have benifited greatly from listening to others share how they have walked through situations while hanging on to their sobriety and their dignity. It is amazing to me how simple the solutions are - my alcoholic mind wants to make things harder than they have to be. My life is so much better than I ever imagined it could be before I got sober. I may not have everything that I want, but I definitely have everthing that I need. It is all a result of attending meetings and letting the men and women of AA love me until I could love myself. I am very grateful and hope that everyone can find what I have in this program. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Debbie P.
Location: Houston, TX
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 2:23:49 PM

Comments

For me i went to meetings as prescribed by my treatment program, then once i left i found myself going to several meetings a day because i knew that left to my own devices (staying home) i would eventually drink again. After i began my step work, i went to meetings regularly because i found they helped me to grow, and now i realize i have a lot of growing up to do, i realize i'll have a lot of meetings to go to. And i accept attending meetings as part of my new way of life. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 3:31:39 PM

Comments

Hi all.. CHris here-alcoholic/addict/bulimic---To Elainein Swizterland..I agree that you might be surprised if you go to a non-english speaking meeting. The power of your HP will definitely be there, and it would be my guess that there will probably be plenty of people there who do speak English. YOu might be able to make some friends in the program and the connection with other alcoolics will in and of itself help your sobriety. . I have been to enough meetings in different towns (albeit all English speaking ones) to know that they really welcome visitors and do everything they can to help them....especially if you are living there now. Meetings have alsways been important to me. It helps me to feel like I am not the only one who is "crazy" I also get a wonderful serenity , even if it is only for one hour. I am unable to go to meetings right now, and this sight is my life line. I would rather be at ftof meeetings, but my HP has really made this sight sufficient. I talk to my sponser at least once a week, do my meditation almost every day and try to practice these principles in all my affairs. I am looking forward to the day when I can get back to my meetings. I do believe that everyone knows how many she or hwe needs...the key is to be true to that need and do it. I believe that meetings are VERY important!! Till next week!!!!


Member: Keith M
Location: Zimbabwe
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 4:10:12 PM

Comments

Hi all, Keith alkie. Meetings! I believe that the 90/90 is a very good way to start out although I never quite made it myself due to out of town commitments. But for the best part of my first 11 months sober I was doing about 7 meetings a week (in Zimbabwe we only really have one a day). Now I find I feel comfortable with 3 to 4 a week which I try and maintain. Plus of course since I found this site I try and get here and read all your shares daily. However I fully agree with Jack B when he says that when you do not feel like going to a meeting that's when you need one the most!

I would just like to share a little "God-insident" with you all. Last month (April) I was in the chair at our Thursday evening meeting and at the last minute on Thursday the 26th. my guest speaker phoned to tell me that she could not make it. Panic stations! I phoned around our "Grapevine" to find a replacement and was drawing blanks all round. (Its school hols here at the moment). As a last resort I phoned one of our 'old timers', she turned 18 yrs. this last Sunday! Anyway she said she would meet me there. Thank you God I thought. When she spoke that evening she shared that it was quite strange how our HP works. She said that she had no intention of going to a meeting that day as she was up to her ass in crocodiles in the swamp, however she badly needed a meeting and then I had phoned.....

Mat God bless each and every one of you.


Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 6:54:37 PM

Comments

Hello out there. My name is Jim, and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic.

I used to struggle with this a great deal. I would argue with my sponsor when he told me I needed more meetings, then I would get loaded. I would spend the entire day, day after day, at my home group, and I would get loaded. I would go to a few meetings a week, and wing it the rest of the time, and I would get loaded.

Somewhere along the line I figured out that there was a common theme in all of these situations. "I" was getting loaded. "I" was lacking something. I was honest about my alcoholism, nut I was not open to any new ideas or wiling to take suggestions. When it began to hurt enough, running things my way, I gave up. I took suggestions.

A good rule of thumb--a meeting every day for the first 90 days. I did this for about the first six months, and figured out where I fit the best. There are lots of clubs in different areas for a reason. I feel more at home in some meetings than in others, hence the term "home group". I began to see which meetings were the most healthy and beneficial for me, and I make it a point to be at those EVERY WEEK. If I get squirrly, I'll hit a couple extra, or spend some more time with my sponsor, or a little extra time reaching out. Right now, I average about three meetings each week, but I know some folks with a great deal more clean time than me who go to several each day. This is probably something to discuss with your sponsor, as each individual is different.

Thanks for my sobriety.


Member: Cliff H
Location: Bryan, Oh
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 7:24:45 PM

Comments

Hi all. I'm Cliff. I'm a real alcoholic. Great topic Barry. I don't know that I really believe that you HAVE to go to a certain number of meetings each week. I do believe that as long as you are honest with yourself and have a good support group to back you up, thatyou can make it with as little as one meeting per week. I also think that if you feel that you are in danger of relapsing, or "falling off the wagon", that you should find a meeting or call on one or more members of your support group IMMEDIATELY!! I have a great support group and I know that if at any time I feel I need to talk, I can call any one of them. By doing this I have been able to maintain sobriety for 16 wonderful months. thank you all and stay sober!


Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 8:48:19 PM

Comments

HI IAM ED A ALCOHOLIC GOING TO MEETINGS IS ONE'S CHOICE FOR HIS SOBRIETY. READING THE BIG BOOK AND DOING THE STEPS, AND GOING TO 2 MEETINGS A WEEK. SOME WEEKS ARE DIFFFERENT THEN OTHERS YOU MIGHT NEED A EXTRA ONE TO GET YOU THOUGH THE SITUATION, OR THE CONFLICT WITH YOUR SELF.


Member: Charlie Dwiggins
Location: Porter,Tx
Date: 5/2/01
Time: 10:05:22 PM

Comments

Hello,my name is Charlie & i'm an alcoholic.After trying off and on since 1986. I've managed by God's grace to put together almost 17 months of continuous sobriety.For this i'm truly grateful.I still try to make a meeting every day.My friend Lee T. (18 yrs.)says you should make 10,000 meetings in 10,000 days.I'm sure this wouldn't hurt anyone.I would have many more drinks than that in as many days.I would be chairing a big book study meeting right now meeting right now if I weren't feeling so bad tonight.I put it off on one of my sponsees.I love A.A. ! It is so precious to me.Become involved!Do something!It disturbs me to see so many taking frome A.A. and not giving back.What some of these members don't realize is that we MUST give our precious gift away to keep it. We MUST be rid of that selfishness or it will kill us.THIS IS A WE DEAL THAT WE HAVE HERE!!!! Every birhday meeting I see some joker picking up a chip for multiple tears of sobriety and either i've never seen them before , or it's been a year since the last time i've seen them.And now I will remove myself from the proverbial soapbox.Thank you for allowing me to share.God bless you all. Charlie Dwiggins


Member: Ed C
Location: Maryland (metro DC)
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 9:54:14 AM

Comments

Hi all. I am Ed and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first posting as I just discovered this web site. I am off from work today due to injury--I passed out from too much alcohol, fell and strained all the ligaments in my fingers. In fact, it's not easy to type this. This alcohol-related injury made me realize finally that I've got to stop drinking and I need help to do so.

Being new, I don't know how many meetings one should attend but for starters I'll check in here every day.


Member: Denise B
Location: Roach, Missouri
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 11:03:33 AM

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic named Denise B, and this is my first meeting here - and what a wonderful place it is to be.

Thank you for the excellent topic.

I have (how shall I say) encountered many views and problems relating to this topic. And no where is it written how many meetings we should attend. Nor that any of us has a right - or responsibility - to tell someone how many they should be attending. My sponsor has the right to tell me anything - that's why I chose them - because I know sometimes I most certainly am an . . . difficult.

As others have said here, the program is not just meetings. Please don't get me wrong here. I wouldn't - and couldn't - make it without them. They will - and must - be a part of the rest of my life if I want to remain sober.

I love the meetings. The friends that I've met. The friends that have helped me. The friends that will help me. The people I pray I have helped. They are the strength and the lifeblood of the program - the fellowship. Before them I always felt I was the only one. I'm so glad not to have that feeling anymore.

The "problems" I've experienced:

First - Had been attending 6 meetings a week. Moved to a new area - a considerable distance from the meeting place. My home is down 96 stairs on the side of a cliff (I absolutely love it), but moving was hell! Didn't go for 3 weeks - and was SO HAPPY to attend, which I shared - only to hear from an "old timer" (that walked in late) "well you said they're important - so how long has it been since you were at a meeting?" My problem - a person shouldn't be made to feel that they have to explain their reasons for being or not being there - or made to feel guilty. I know I need to attend meetings for the rest of my life. And more. I keep the big book in the car so that I can read while waiting when I'm in town doing laundry or whatever. I try to make sure that I do something along program lines everyday - besides just not drinking. Be it working steps, reading literature. Sharing my strength and happiness with others that I meet and ask me. (I used to work in the library and can't tell you how many people would approach me, one way or the other, re: AA). Speaking with my sponsor daily (that's why I bought a computer - phone calls to expensive). Had been chairing meetings (which I know I will do again). Attending functions. And now, thank God for this internet site - and all of you here today. I don't feel alone.

Second, while in the laundromat a young woman (a newer comer to the program than I) and I start talking and I find out she had a similar experience, and apparently with the same person. I also heard this story from another new comer to one of the meetings, because he had also been put off by the whole ugly experience, as he had even brought it up at a meeting when this person wasn't there. And now this woman refuses to attend AA (although she will go to NA - but there's only one a week).

What troubles me is that it is a shame when AA's purpose is lost - for someone who truly needs it - due to someone's own will and/or personality putting demands or guilt trips on us. It hurts AA as a whole - not just those individuals. I know this is true, or this topic never would have come up. I'm so glad it did so I could say something about it.

This woman and I ended up having our own little AA meeting in the laundromat - and that worked for us. And I encouraged her to try it again.

Third, a family member who attended meetings regularly (and never fails to mention it) and even chaired - well, let's just say I wouldn't model my program after their's.

But you know what, that's OK. Because I'm reminded of the 12th Tradition - ". . . place principles before personalities." I remind myself of that one alot.

Someone also said to me (about finding a sponsor) . . . it's not the quantity of time, but the quality of time, that is important.

I'm sorry for so much quantity here - I hope you also found some quality as well.

To all those newcomers out there - please keep writing - we're here for you - and thank God you're there for me.

Love you all so much.

PS - To the person from Chicago - know of any meetings on the NW side of the city?

AND PPS - Thanks for the meeting.


Member: RayP
Location: DenCo
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 12:15:24 PM

Comments

Hi everybody I'm Ray Alcoholic good topic..My first 5 yrs were avg 10 mtgs/wk..then I decided that was too much so I cut down to one/day except on days off when I made two//which avgd to 10/wk anyway...at 17 yrs I did cut back to 1/day and this last yr has been 4 per wk because of my sched. at work...I like to go daily if I'm able to...thats been my social hr for so long now that even when I trvl I look for meetings any place I go...Its a selfish thing with me....I feel god when I do go...and not as good when I miss.....May God Bless us all........RayP


Member: Marie B
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 12:49:29 PM

Comments

Hi everyone,I'm an alcoholic,addict, and my name is MARIE.I have been clean & sober for 31 days due to the grace of GOD.I Have diabetes,and am recovering from a surgery that disables me from walking, I had a non weight-bearing cast on for 4 monthes and have 2 monthes to go.I have had my diabetes "in control" 120- 180 range with glucophage for 4 monthes .I "ve had this surgery twice n my foot,the first 1 failed because I drank & drugged and my body didn't heal, ALCOHOL IS POISEN FOR ME!I"m new to this place and want help,I can't get out to a 90/90 as I have read you need to do. Being online has been a god send to me. I read everyday and thank GOD I can come here and feel support,However alot of what I've read sounds like I'm doomed if I don't go to face to face meetings,I have no support, and my husband is still using,I fear if I Don't find a support system I'll fall back & die! CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME AND POINT ME IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.Many Grateful Thanks!MARIE


Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 3:21:24 PM

Comments

Thanks for the topic. Yes, I firmly believe meeting makers make it. I don't know where I'd be if I wouldn't have been making a lot of meetings especially in the beginning. This is mainly because I would have lost the desire to want to stay sober if I wouldn't have stayed in the classrooms that keep me out of myself and my sick mind, in touch with sober people, and constantly listening to how devastating this disease really is. Meetings keep sobriety at my forefront (where it needs to be because I'm a quick forgetter).

I don't believe there is a set number. Because I was a daily, heavy blackout drinker, I needed to go to at least one meeting per day. After a year and a half, I cut out one of my weekly meetings. Today, 22 months later, I still average 5-7 meetings per week. Of course, I live in an "AA" town where we have tons of weekly meetings and God knows I'm so thankful.

I was told that the program helps us to live sober, but meetings help to maintain the desire to stay sober. In other words, one always goes hand in hand with the other.

Good luck.


Member: LARAE S
Location: SEAATTLE WA
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 4:23:43 PM

Comments

To Marie in Chicago..My name is LaRae. I am an alcoholic of the hopeless variety. I need to go to any lengths to achieve the kind of sobriety I need. It is no longer an option for me today,to toy with the idea that I can function as a recovering alcoholic when I am living with someone who still uses..However that doesnot mean that you cannot...I struggled with this for 5 years in sobriety in the early 80's and after 5 years of good sobriety I gave into thee "I can't fix him so I'll join him.. It has taken me 11 years to get back into the program, after numerous atempts of trying to prove to myself and other that I could drink like a normal drinker.

I recently got my 2nd DWI and was sentenced with a 2 year revocation of my drivers license and 30 days in the King county jail. Ive been into inpatient treatment for 30 days, now outpatient for24 months, and probation for 2years. NOt to mention 5,000 in fines..I allowed my freedom to be taken away from me, but you cannot take away my sobriety, that is up to me to choose if I drink today or to pray for the willingness not to drink.... I literally have to say the serenity prayer many times each day.

I also found that when I am in a position that I physically cannot get myself to an AA meeting I call the AA hotline and see if I can get a ride to a meeting., or if they know of any women in the program that would be willing to come see me.. Many women in recovery do 12 step calls and many times in my recovery other women have literally saved my ass...that is going to any lengths..PICK UP THE PHONE AND CALL. Here is my email address if you want to contact me offsite..stites4@attglobal.net.............,I know for me that if I drink again I will surely die..and I want to live for the first time in 11 years..GOD BE WITH YOU MY FRIEND. I AM PRAYING FOR YOU..LARAE


Member: Kate H.
Location: Troy, NY
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 4:28:13 PM

Comments

Hi. I'm Kate and I'm an alcoholic. I know for me that if I don't make about four meetings a week, I really feel the difference. It gets really hard to live life on life's terms and keep from getting huge resentments about just about anything that happens. Getting to f2f meetings is really necessary for this alcoholic. On the other hand, Marie, I've known of people who lived in areas that had no meetings at all and they stayed sober. If you have a hotline in your area, give it a call and see if there's any way folks could bring a meeting to you once in a while. Get phone numbers and EMAIL addresses of folks in recovery...you can reach me at KateH2@go.com if you'd like to. there are lots of folks on this discussion group who include their email and I've reached out to a couple myself. Just putting your thoughts and problems down on paper (or bandwidth) can help to get solutions for them. Any kind of sharing halves the load that we are bearing anytime. That's a basic part of why the program works as it does. Read literature, get audio tapes, journal your feelings just for yourself...all suggestions that have been given to me that I've found work for me when I can't get to a f2f meeting...sometimes even better because I don't feel pressured by time to keep it short and I can get instant feedback from myself when I re-read things I've written. Bottom line for me is just to keep connected to the program in whatever way(s) I can...ALL the time. Hope this helps and keep comin' back, Marie. We'll still be here for you.


Member: Lavonne A
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 4:59:36 PM

Comments

Hello, Lavonne, alcoholic here. I personally believe Meeting Makers Make It. But not just a body in a chair, deal, y'know? I also agree with Von, that meetings are my classroom. I came to the rooms of AA because I WANTED to. And, I needed to be in Alcoholics Anonymous. I have been around a few 24 hours...and I average 6 meetings a week, sometimes a few more. I (also like Von) live in an "AA town" and there are over 600 different meetings a week here. I need the others in AA to teach me what I need to do to stay sober one day at a time. And, since my alcoholic mind will tend to forget things, I need to keep coming back and hear it all repeated to me so I can keep remembering how it was, what happened and what it is like NOW for each of you. Yeah, there is a guy who comes to my home group that drinks before he comes and drinks after he goes...but Tradition III (btw, also the name of my HG) tells me that the only requirement for membership is a DESIRE to stop drinking. Maybe one day he will. I have hope. This program has given me the ability to hope. To summarize on meetings, I like how Dr. Bob summarized his 12 Step work. Cause really, going to meetings is a part of 12 Step work...it is a duty. AND, it is a pleasure. AND, it might just be buying me some insurance against that first drink. Elaine in Switzerland. Keep coming back...there are real time AA meetings and E mail AA meetings on line that have saved me. I'd E mail ya directly if I know how...but you are in my prayers these last few days. Thanks for helping me keep it real, for today. That's all I have...I pass.


Member: Doug K
Location: Minneapolis
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 5:47:41 PM

Comments

Meetings are huge if you choose to have long term sobriety. I have been sober since 1983 and have continued to go to my meeting every week. There was a time that I didn't go to meetings for about a year and there was a tremendous change in my outlook in life. I prefer " keep it simple stupid" and going to meetings helps me keep my life simple. This program is fairly simple, go to meetings, read the big book and talk to your sponsor!!! I am amazed how how alcoholics can complicate the most simplest things!!!


Member: James C
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 8:01:41 PM

Comments

I'm James and I'm an alcoholic and addict. A few answers before I leave for my next meeting.

Ed who had the alcohol related injuries to his hand -- sink yourself into the AA program. The program cannot succeed for you unless you work it. You need to have a good First Step NOW -- to accept that you ARE alcoholic and that no self-power can overcome it. The most successful is face-to-face with real alcoholics.

Denise, there are meetings in every neighborhood of major cities in the USA, yes, there are some very good groups in NW Chicago. Check the intergroup pages at http://aa.org/CtrOff_d1.html

Finally, Marie with diabetes -- I would be glad to advise you as I can. Email to JimBob@pobox.com

God's love to you all.

James


Member: rudy
Location: survivor
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 8:26:01 PM

Comments

i have too big of a penis.


Member: BRYAN L.
Location: IOWA
Date: 5/3/01
Time: 10:27:43 PM

Comments

MY NAME IS BRYAN AND I AM AN ADDICT/ALCOHOLIC. I THINK THAT FOR ME GOING TO METTINGS IS A MUST!I ALSO THINK THAT IT DIFERS FROM PERSON TO PERSON. I THINK THAT IT DEPENDS ON WHAT YOU WANT OUT OF RECOVERY AND HOW FAR YOU'RE WILLING TO GO TO STAY SOBER. FOR ME IT'S A MATTER OF LISTENING TO OTHERS AND TAKING WHAT I NEED TO HELP MYSELF STAY CLEAN. ALSO, IF I CAN SHARE SOMETHING TO HELP SOMEBODY ELSE THIS BECOMES A GREAT ACHIEVEMENT. FOR ME TALKING IS THE KEY. JUST BEING CLEAN IS NOT ENOUGH. THIS IS WHERE THE METTINGS COME INTO PLAY. I GO TO FOUR MEETINGS A WEEK AND JUST KNOWING THERE'S MORE IS COMFORTING. I THANK MY HIGHER POWER FOR LEADING ME THROUGH THE PATH OF RECOVERY!


Member: Barry L
Location: PA
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 12:32:13 AM

Comments

Hi I'm Barry and I'm an alcoholic, Lots of great sharing on the topic. I brought it up because I needed a reality check.

A few years ago my wife and I moved to a new area where Meetings are a little different than the area we first got sober in, few "Home Groups" lots of "Meetings", very few Step or Bigbook Meetings lots of "Open Discussion gripe sessions".

Anyway I only get to about 2 meetings a week, with a 2 and 6 year old life is pretty full. Many of the people at these Meetings, some with considerable time, say you need to go to more meetings or you will get drunk, "meeting makers make it". However when they share you rarely here them talk about the Steps, or how they worked them, or how they apply them in their life on a daily basis? Just "don't drink and go to a meeting everyday.

To me the 12 Steps and 12 Traditions and the Bigbook are "The Program" of recovery from alcoholism, Meetings are the Fellowship of AA.

Now don't get me wrong I am not saying I don't need meetings, if I went for a couple of weeks without one my Spiritual Condition will begin to deteriorate, I know that. Life is going pretty good for me these days, and all of it is a direct result of the Program and Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous, and my Higher Power (to be named later). I have a wife, 2 kids, a house, which I have all received as gifts of sobriety. As I understand the Program I got sober to enjoy and nurture and provide for these gifts, so at this point in my life I need to balance my family life with my AA Fellowship. I feel more Spiritually fit than I ever have, I pray and meditate almost daily, read the Bigboook and 12 AND 12, continue to work the Steps in my life to the best of my ability, talk to other alcoholics, and get to a couple of meetings a week.

I know there may come a time in my life again when the shit hits the fan that I may have to go to a meeting everyday to stay Sober, and I will do that when that day comes. I believe as I was taught by more than one oldtimer, that if you are 8 or 10 years sober and Have To (not want to) go to a meeting everyday to maintain your sobriety then you have probably Never actually Worked the Program of AA.

As has been said by others, Meeting makers don't make it, people who work the Steps make it, and they go to as many meetings as they need a week, to get what they need and share their experience strength and hope wiht others.

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Jeremiah B
Location: San Diego
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 4:33:31 AM

Comments

Im Jeremiah and I"m an alcohalic. I go to this meeting today and this one only...so far. This would be my first meeting in a while. Ive only been to three meetings. All at different times I was "trying" to quit. Now I have truly made the decision in my heart and want it more thn anything. If I do not I will loose the two most important people in my life. My wife and son. I need to go to 90 meetings in 90 days.

Pray for me.....J.B.


Member: Isobel D
Location: australia
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 5:55:46 AM

Comments

Going to meetings is practising the 12th step.If you do not practise the steps to the best of your ability you will not be able to stay sober - you can't practise some and ignore others.Alcoholism is cunning baffling and powerful you need the support of other sober members. The Steps talk about we and us -its too hard to do on your own.


Member: SCB
Location:
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 6:16:42 AM

Comments

To Denise B. from Missouri - thank you so much. That was such a helpful and positive post. I am so glad that you said what you did. Welcome - hope to hear more from you (and over on the Coffee Pot, too!)


Member: James C
Location: Chicago area
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 6:56:46 AM

Comments

James here, I'm an alcoholic and drug addict, grateful to my Higher Power for teaching me how to be sober.

Barry L, thanks again for the wonderful topic. I printed out two pages of the responses for our home group's discussion this week.

I was interested in your comments about not having enough meetings focused on the Big Book, or on the Steps, etc. My best suggestion is to start such meetings yourself. Remember that each Fellowship was started by someone sometime in the past, and that each meeting that is regularly held was just someone's Good Idea.

If you decide to "take the lead" on starting such meetings, it won't be long until someone else is willing to share the responsibility.

Another option would be to suggest a format for one of the existing meetings (on a trial basis at first). For example, topics at our 6:30am meeting ar suggested by the Twenty-Four Hour reading on Monday, a Step on Tuesday, The Big Book on Wednesday, and As Bill Sees It on Friday. Thursday, Saturday and Sunday are not pre-determined topics, rather suggested by someone in the group.

We've decided that anytime a Newcomer is in attendance for their first-ever AA meeting, that will be a First Step meeting. Also, if someone has a serious problem that directly effects their sobriety TODAY, they can suggest that topic, subject to group conscience.

Do some reading on the term "autonomous". Not only is every Fellowship autonomous from the National and International AA, but meetings are often autonomous from the Fellowship or club in which they occur.

One thing is certain -- if you feel an unfulfilled need for meetings that are more focused, there will be other Fellows that also have that need.

Blessings to you all.

James

JimBob@pobox.com


Member: A Watcher
Location:
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 7:40:04 AM

Comments

James, May I suggest you do some reading of the guidlines for This Meeting at the top of the page,

"and that each person try to share only once per week (this is not a chat room)"


Member: mike m
Location: way out west
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 8:59:36 AM

Comments

I try to live my life as in a meeting, with my ears, heart, and mind open. I give what i can, ussually in the increasing understanding that my way doesn't work and that the steps and Gods way do, with the special knowledge that my gift is my self-will revealed, my alcoholism, and that i feel most alive when trying to share with another suffering human being. God is making progress possible for me on this journey but i have a long way to go. thankyou for the meeting. amen!


Member: Dollie W.
Location: TX
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 9:23:25 AM

Comments

Hi I am Dollie and I am an alcoholic. Not to long ago in a face to face meeting, this topic came up. I heard all of the cliches, "Meeting makers make it" "90/90" "Go to a meeting only when you want to and when you don't want to." "There is only one meeting you have to go to and keep going till you find it." All of this is great, but what about going for the newcomer? That's what it is all about, isn't it ? If, nobody was here when I got here, I wouldn't be sober today. If I don't give back, what I have recieved, I won't keep it. I Thank AA and God for my recovery.


Member: Rachel Lee
Location: Orangevale, CA
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 10:39:26 AM

Comments

I agree with some other comments already stated here. This is a spiritual program,not a controlling one. Some people will tell you if you dont get a sponser or go to meetings you will relapse. If you dont jump up and down and rub your belly........ blah, blah, blah.. If you want to quit drinking then the only requirment for A.A. is the desire to quit. You do not have to do a thing!! If someone come's up to you and they start telling you hey, you need to go to 90/90 and get a sponser, and blah, blah.... stay away from them, they do not have a program!!! Do what you and your higher power thinks you should do. If you do not know then you yourself ask for advice, then decide if your going to take it. It is up to you! God bless, and Take it Easy!!


Member: Judy L.
Location: IL
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 11:30:55 AM

Comments

Hi, Judy from outside Chicago. I'm an addict and went into recovery about 5 years ago. It was tough! I went to meetings about 3 x a week. Back then the kids were real young . . . 2, 5 & 10. I was a raving loon without my coping mechanisms.

I hate to say it but I stopped going to meetings after 6 months and turned to counseling, self help books, church attendance twice weekly and thought I could remain sober by increasing my spirituality, NOT TRUE! I was lying to myself again.

Who am I kidding? I justified using again once I stopped meetings. This is probably my first real AA meeting in 5 years. I've been to Christian 12 step a couple times in the last couple years, once last week.

I can give you endless excuses that all came to a head when I quit . . . my being in touch with sexual abuse issues for the first time when sober, my mom's illness and death, my husband not liking my behavior when attending, my wanting to belong to the same people, places and things again, being lonely, FEAR!!!!!

Ever since I started using again . . . because now its alcohol, I'm not drugging, only a little after I drink. I still hold the GUILT. Because now I know better.

The topic . . . meetings . . . yes I should have stayed with the regular meetings because YOU are the ones who help an addict stay sober.

God has helped me so very much too, I am very spiritual . . . but we all know that working the steps is needed, I've left them at the wayside, along with a sponser, contacts, phone numbers, and my home group where I was safe. I forgot all about that until I came to this site this morning.

Thanks JimBob for giving that site out . . . I wrote down some numbers to call in my area. At least I can finally tell myself the truth along with my counselor who already knows and has suggested meetings since last year, I've been stubborn that "I can do it myself" I've slipped and tried to maintain sobriety alone. I thought I could just party on the weekends, HA what a sneaky, cunning, baffling, powerful LIE!

Because I carry the guilt about my little partying . . . I carry resentment. Someone said in the meeting that its not just for drinking that he goes but to get in touch with resentments and his thinking that got us in to trouble in the first place.

Every time I party . . . I NOW know better because of the influence of those meetings and especially since I go to an addiction counselor.

I'm going to a meeting tonight and am changing plans someone else made for me that wouldn't be good. Thanks for letting me come to this meeting even if I got off track. See what happens when you don't go to meetings and think you know it all.

Praying for you, please pray for me.

Hugs J


Member: Dawn L
Location: New Jersey
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 3:03:09 PM

Comments

Hi My name is Dawn L and Im an alcoholic and addict...with only 12 Days sober and thank god i am. The 90 meetings in 90 days seems to be working 4 me. Maybe one day ill only want to go to 2-3 a week but 4 now a meeting every day makes me feel great. the amount of meetings i attend may change 1 day at a time. God Bless, Dawn L


Member: Carla J.
Location: Georgia
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 3:50:50 PM

Comments

Hey! Carla, alcoholic. Meetings help me get sober and meeting help keep me sober. They keep me in touch with people DOING the same thing I am....trying to stay sober a day at the time. I go to meetings daily. It's what works for me. I enjoy attending meetings regularly. The people in the fellowship are my friends and my extended family. I get my "Medicine" that helps me stay sober and much, much, more. Sobriety is a beautiful gift. One of the sayings at my home group is....you can't keep it, if you don't give it away. I try to give back, if it's nothing more that making coffe, setting out ashtrays, smiling when someone walks in the door and being there for the newcomer or still suffering alcoholic. I think about it this way....what if there was no one in the room when I walked I got there?


Member: Carla J.
Location: Georgia
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 3:58:08 PM

Comments

Sobriety is Gods gift to me. What I do with it is my gift back to God.


Member: master blaster
Location:
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 5:27:09 PM

Comments

guns dont kill people......landing lead does.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 6:07:01 PM

Comments

Barry, good topic. Lots of the cliches we have around the halls of AA today were started in treatment centers, like "90 mtgs in 90 days" and "meeting makers make it." I never went through a treatment center, but had heard the 90 in 90 statement when I first got to AA in 1986. I went to about 123 in my first 90 days. In the very beginning of AA, of course, it wasn't possible to go to that many mtgs, as they typically had one or two per week - one was the actual meeting and the 2nd one (usually during the weekend) was a social gathering. One of the women getting sober up here in my county 35 years ago talks about there only being one meeting per week up in these parts back then (about 1965) and to get to any more, they had to travel down the hill about 40 or so miles.

In my own experience, I got out of the habit of hitting regular meetings once I started going to night school in my 3rd year of sobriety. I never picked back up the habit of going to night meetings during the week once I got the better job and night school was over. Eventually, I felt disconnected from AA and the world in general and, wanting to feel a part of something once again, I tried at first to re-connect to AA, but something else overtook me, and that was my old way of thinking. I thought of all the fun I was missing and seeing my coworkers having, and that was the way I went. There are three reasons why I drank again: I really don't know why, except that I wanted to and basically because I'm an alcoholic and that's what I do best (or was that 4 reasons?).

I find that when I am away from meetings for longer than 2-3 days in a row, I start to feel a disconnection from the pulse of what's going on at my home group. That's why I come to Staying Cyber on the Coffee Pot daily, to keep that connection going strong. With the health problems I have, I structure my days around which meetings I plan to make it to, giving myself much needed, at-home, full days of rest in between. There's a sign in my homegroup that says "7 Days Without a Meeting Makes One Weak." I recently went about 10 days without a meeting due to many valid reasons and when I finally was able to make it to one, that woman who's been sober 34 years said she could "smell it" on me! LOL!!! Thanks again for the topic.


Member: Sheila B.
Location: Mundelein, IL
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 8:56:29 PM

Comments

My name is sheila and I am an addict. I think newcomers should make 90/90. As for everyone else I think they know the answer to that. If you feel you need a meeting, go to a meeting, and if you feel you dont need a meeting, go to a meeting. Tho everyone has different needs, as for me I make 3-4 meetings a week. This is my first time on this site and am grateful they have this for the recovering person. The 12 steps, my higher power and the fellowship of A/A has saved my life. Thank you very much and always remember take it "One day at a time", "Keep it simple" and ofcourse, "To thine own self be true" Love to all my fellow Alcoholics and Addicts, Sheila B., Illinois


Member: Rob S
Location: Redford,Mi
Date: 5/4/01
Time: 11:05:57 PM

Comments

I'm an alcholic my name is Rob. This is my 1st time to the cyber meeting AND Today is my 9 year anniversary. Thanks to AA. Meeting makers make it/Having a sponsor whomakes meeting too helps.


Member: Turlough
Location: Ireland
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 2:28:30 AM

Comments

My name is Turlough, alcoholic, I was at a meeting last night nad once again for the umpteeth time I enjoyed the fellowship and learned something new. Why should I risk not going to meetings for as the song says "there's nowhere in the world that I would rather be than with you my friends."

Have a good day T


Member: Turlough
Location: Ireland
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 2:31:37 AM

Comments

My name is Turlough, alcoholic, I was at a meeting last night nad once again for the umpteeth time I enjoyed the fellowship and learned something new. Why should I risk not going to meetings for as the song says "there's nowhere in the world that I would rather be than with you my friends."

Have a good day T


Member: Denise B
Location: Roach MO
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 11:51:05 AM

Comments

To James C

Thanks very much for the info


Member: Tony B
Location: Chicago
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 12:23:17 PM

Comments

Thank you all for your comments. I have been out of the program for 6 years because I believed I didn't need any more meetings. My stinking thinking came back and defeated me. How many meetings do you need? As many as you can go to.


Member: james
Location:
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 1:45:46 PM

Comments

watcher,

if i unzip my pants,would you put your knee pads

james


Member: ERIC A.
Location: CHICAGO
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 6:45:27 PM

Comments

I FEEL THAT EACH HAS TO MAKE THAT DECISION ON YOUR OWN. YET FOR ME IN THE BEGINING,I NEEDED TO BE WHERE PEOPLE COULD HELP ME AND FOR ME IT MEANT BEING IN A MEETING EVERYDAY BECAUSE ALL I KNEW WAS HOW TO DRINK.SO IT WAS IMPORTANT THAT ATTENDED AS MANY MEETINGS AS I COULD SO I ABLE TO BEGING TO LEARN HOW TO SOBER.


Member: stud muffin
Location:
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 8:19:20 PM

Comments

i did 90 women in 90 days,but they werent all pretty..................


Member: maggie a.  
Location: tucson
Date: 5/5/01
Time: 9:07:07 PM

Comments

I think 90 meetings in 90 days was good at first but, now i try to go to at least 2 meetings a week, depending on my work schedule. sometimes i need more meetings depending on how my head is working. When I get caught up in myself I know I need to start thinking of others. It's amazing how my problems dissapear when I' helping someone else.