Member: Donnie M(dos3-1-99)
Location: W.Va.
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 10:08:12 AM
Hi all I`m Donnie and I`m an alcololic. I been thinking of the topic how to deal with life on life`s term`s. I have not had to pick up a drink in a couple of twenty four hour`s now. I`ve had to learn to take care of my family and myself which took a lot of growing up on my part. I`ve also found when you place no condition`s on that first drink you stay sober. It is a very simple program don`t drink and enjoy life or drink and die it has happened to many time`s here lately. So that`s a topic or talk about what you need to talk about , thank`s for listening and GOD BLESS ALL WHO TRY.
Member: Frank K.
Location: Milwaukee
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 10:31:55 AM
Plaque on Dr. Bob's Desk defining humility,
"Perpetual quitness of the heart. It is to have no trouble. It is never to be fretted or vexed, irritable or sore; to wonder at nothing that is done to me, to feel nothing done against me. It is to be at rest when nobody praises me, an when I am blamed or despised, it is to have a blessed home in myself where I can go in and shut the door and kneel to my Father in secret and be at peace, as in a deep sea of calmness, when all around and about is seeming trouble."
Member: Lynn S.
Location: Oregon
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 10:47:12 AM
I'm Lynn and alcoholic. Thank you, Frank for sharing that. I will write it down and pass it on. I needed to hear it today.
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 10:53:17 AM
people die people are born,there is greed and charity,people get promotiions people lose jobs,life is a mixed bag. i can't let things in life overwhelm me, i want to understand and enjoy life .being an alcoholic makes me complicate things but if i stick to basics i seem to enjoy .i put in some work effort thruogh aa,emotional,mental,physical,social and spirtual i try hard on a day in day out basis and it works.when i enter booze into the equation all of my building blocks seem to get kicked all over the place.stick to the 12 steps, work on them,talk to people .iv'e stayed sober for 3 plus years now by taking suggestions ,meetings and prayer.life on lifes terms to me is taking the bad with the good....God bless all who venture here....good topic donnie,stay with it,theres a lot of good stuff to learn...i'm tony an alcoholic
Member: dave
Location: help
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 3:24:16 PM
i walk through darkness here on earth,i cant
find the light,i am like a blindman in a sea of darkness,what should i do???
Member: Jim B
Location: Roi Namur RMI
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 3:36:16 PM
Hi all Jim B., happy to know I'm alcoholic and grateful to be sober. First and foremost I don't drink! No matter what. As long as I don't pick up I'm still in the game. Then I just try to suit up and show up, letting God take care of the results. When life throws me a curve ball I try to work on acceptance and surrender. Reminding myself to check my ego by striving for humility. Lately I have been of necessity trying to learn to laugh at myself as I am prone to take things to seriously. When I can laugh at myself then I am not ashamed of myself and keep away from self loathing. Of course I can talk about what is going on with me at meetings and with my sponser as well as other AA folks and that usually brings some relief to clarify and talk about issues that I am faced with. Bottom line is gratitude as I have never had it so good. If I can try to lend a helping hand to another person then I can get out of self and take the focus off of my situation whatever it may be. Thank-You for 12 stepping me.
Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 4:05:44 PM
Hi Carol Alcoholic Life on lifes terms. That was a hard lesson for me. To learn to deal with life without a drink or a drug. I drank for any reason at all. Today, sometimes I still have trouble accepting life on lifes terms. Sometimes I kick and scream and act like a big baby but eventually I realize what happens, happens be it good or bad and all I really need to do is continue to show up and do the right thing and everything passes...and the biggest miracle of all is I don't need to take that drink or drug to get through any of it any more.
Thanks for letting me share! Have a great 24. I know I will.
Member: Carol C.
Location: New Jersey
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 4:07:13 PM
Hi Carol Alcoholic Life on lifes terms. That was a hard lesson for me. To learn to deal with life without a drink or a drug. I drank for any reason at all. Today, sometimes I still have trouble accepting life on lifes terms. Sometimes I kick and scream and act like a big baby but eventually I realize what happens, happens be it good or bad and all I really need to do is continue to show up and do the right thing and everything passes...and the biggest miracle of all is I don't need to take that drink or drug to get through any of it any more.
Thanks for letting me share! Have a great 24. I know I will.
Member: clara A.
Location: fla.
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 4:09:52 PM
My name is clara.. I am a recovering alocoholic....Good topic, as long as we live this will be a topic,living life on lifes terms.I realize that was there was so much about me I didn't know, that truning my life over to God, going to step meetings and working those steps, helped me to live a day at a time on lifes terms, Prayer and meditation, the quiet times when God reveals himself to you.there are things that come to me I wouldn't have thought of, if I hadn't been sitting quietly with the power greater than me, it has never failed me yet. I think step three and step eleven are very important to our recovery. I have a special place in my house, I have all my material there, when I am weary I go there, just knowing that is my place with God, gives me comfort, he is always there.
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 7:36:52 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict,sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks for the sincere shares!
Great topic, Donnie! For virtually all us AA's, I believe the best way to deal with life on life's terms is don't pick up the first drink and try to practice the AA program as best we can.
Of course, that's easier said than done sometimes, at least for me. Social life, as tony g. said, consists of everything from great times to tragic times. Not to recognize this and any feelings that might be associated with the typical twists and turns of life is a sign of fear for me.
Today, after quite a few years of sobriety, I, more and more, look at the twists and turns of life as sort of a challenge as well, something to be experienced sober and to learn and grow from, rather than something to be denied.
This attitude has developed slowly for me, but it's worth the wait. Experiencing the darker side of life is inevitable, after all.
Member: Mike
Location: PA
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 7:53:40 PM
Hi I'm Mike and I am an alcoholic. Life on lifes terms, I was speaking to my sponsor this morning about this very subject, I am having some difficulties yet with lifes terms, I still want my terms even though I know that I can't have it that way. I have to let everything else go, just let it go and work on Mike. If I take care of Mike everything else will fall into place. My sponsor tells me that God has a plan for all of us, he just never lets anyone in on what the plan is. Thanks Donnie for the subject, it really hits home for me. I am just grateful that I found AA and I thank you all for my sobriety. God Bless! Mike
Member: Corinne B., Alcoholic here, there & facing reality!
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 7:54:02 PM
Living life on life's terms is an excellent topic for me right now, ((Donnie)) and thanks for bringing it to the Discussion Meeting for this week. Anyone reading the Coffee Pot in the past 2 days knows that we're once again dealing with my husband having a recurrence of his lung cancer. Since the left lung was removed in November, we won't know until tomorrow where the new tumor resides, and what the next course of action will be. Part of me wanted to call that damned Oncologist back and scream at him for calling in such news on a damned Friday! Why couldn't he have just waited until Monday morning and asked us to come in that same day? Do they get vicarious pleasure in letting you stew for 3 days waiting to find out more information or what? Yeesh!
But of course, I didn't call him and now we're down to just one more night before going in to find out the rest of the story.
What's been really bizarre about this whole ordeal of Bob's cancer was how the diagnosis came out of him learning about a whole different illness and getting ready to undergo surgery for that other illness, which led them to discover this one! No wonder folks don't want to go to doctors! LOL!! I haven't shared about this part before, but I think it really comes under the heading of growing up and living life on life's terms, and so I'm gonna share something fairly personal now about all this.
See, a year before Bob was to undergo the surgery for sleep apnoea, we started to check it out with a different doctor, but Bob didn't like that doctor. At the time, we were also signing papers for me to purchase Life Insurance on Bob's life. This is the part about growing up for me. See, that's what Bob does for a living - he sells life insurance, as well as providing investment advice and money management services to his clients (he's a financial planner). I had always been totally against the entire concept life insurance, which is really death insurance. But finally, as I started realizing that I really wasn't getting any younger, that I would not be able to work ever again, that Bob is 10 years older than me, that I didn't have a 401k, an IRA or very much invested in Mutual Funds or in savings accounts, etc., the reality of what I might face in old-age without any security (i.e., money, cold-hard-cashola) became extremely frightening to me. I hated the prospect of shelling out $250 per month for life insurance, until Bob explained to me that there was no other vehicle I could invest my money in at that rate per month, where I would get such a large return on my investment. And so, I purchased a $300,000 policy on his life.
Sounds so cold, doesn't it?
But this is truly living life on life's terms and coming to terms with the reality of our situation. Now, realizing that I finally came around just under the "eleventh hour" - to think that if either diagnosis, of sleep apnoa or the subsequent cancer, had come in to his medical reports prior to our getting the policy, I never would have been able to get the policy. To be quite honest, I would in no way be able to handle all this nearly as well as I do if I knew I wouldn't be in such good shape monetarily after he leaves this earth and me behind.
That's the cold, hard truth of it. I hate to sound like I don't believe in God, because I do. See, it was as if God helped me to see what I had refused to see all those years before, and just in the nick of time, too! I had to do the footwork to make me stop feeling so afraid about my future all the time! I was so afraid of being homeless and ever since I started paying out that $250 per month, I have never feared it once, not ever! I finally faced life on life's terms when it comes to securing a place for me in my future. It's all very pragmatic and realistic and I no longer fear economic insecurity, as a result.
I hope this does not offend anyone, and I hope someone else will gain something from this. I only wish I hadn't waited so long, because then, the monthly payments would be lower, if I'd taken out the policy on him when he was younger! I'm not trying to sell anyone on life insurance, either. I sure as hell no one could have convinced me it was the way to go until I had hit a very low bottom, facing the reality of my situation as it was then, just over a year and a few months ago.
Thanks for reading.
Member: xoxo
Location:
Date: 4/8/01
Time: 11:11:05 PM
Where's Lu-Lu?
Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 3:54:30 AM
dear corrine
i think i understand part of it. I am sorry to say i still like attention probably always will, i liked to be dependant, the result of this is that sometimes i daydream about people close to me dying, ( i use to think this was an awful thing until someone explained to me that at times where i dont want to be in control of my life, where i want to be looked after, and there is no reason, my mind trys to come up with a reason, to jusify the way i feel). Any way in these semi dreams if my daughter dies not only do i project on the feeling of grief, and the attention i recieve there after but also on the financial insecurity that this would bring, and it is true that if she were to die becuse of the benefit system here in england i would have to move house into a flat and i would no longer be able to pay my creditors. What a thing to dream of, what a selfish dream. These semi dreams come less often now, i guess i am becoming more comfortable with responsibility, i am becoming more comfortable with me, and although i am dependant on AA, I no longer feel so lonely and out of control that i need these dreams of being taken care of. I am reluctant to post this, even though i know why the semi dreams happen, i still feel shame. I guess what i am trying to say is it is normal to think of financial insecurity, or financial gain even at times as difficult as this is for you.
Member: Charlie darling
Location: Key West Fl
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 6:53:22 AM
good morning Family Charlie darling a very gratful recovering Alcholic, Donnie great topic as I never wanted to deal life on lifes terms I always thought I should have more more more and then some more. Just the way I did my drinking, and Donnie we have the sam sobriety date i am 1997 same day. But I found that when one door closes another will open and who knows what is behind that mystery door wether good or bad I accept it even if I don't like it, as it is my growing into becoming the person that I love today, and I am still growing one day at a time, and I know if I continued to drink I could not, and for that I am very grateful. Connie B you are in my prayers and God Bless you for having a partner who is looking out for you and preparing you for the future, as I did no planning at all and Iwill be 60 this month and I look forward to retiring which when I was drinking never thought I would get this far in life today I am grateful for the Aa program and to all of you for helping me to live on lifes terms and I will keep coming back, as to quote a Susan Heywood Movie I WANT TO LIVE> I Love you all and thank you for always being here for me.kwduke@keysdigital.com Anyone coming to Key West there is a web site with the list of meetings for all it is atwww.aafloridakeys.org we have a sunset roundup coming June 1,2,3, alot of sobriety and great family love you all lots of hugs too.
Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:09:51 AM
For me Living Life on Lie's Term has to start with accepting me for who I actually am. I say 'actually' because so often in the past I could excuse, defer or disassociate myself from my actions by saying "That's not who I REALLY am."
As if there was some concealed saint of sinner walking around in some ME diguise. Today I am what I do. It's easy to slip back into beating myself up, but once I catch myself and confirm that I am ACTUALLY somewhere in the middle between the misunderstood artist and depraved loser that I project myself to be, I'm able to feel comfortable in my own skin. Then I say the Serenity Prayer to help me deal with the life part.
Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:14:17 AM
Sorry for the double-dip but after reading my post I obviously meant to say "Living Life on LIFE'S Terms.
Although "Life on Lie's Terms is a pretty accurate, nasty Freudian slip.
Member: tony D
Location: crystal lake il
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 11:42:37 AM
Read page 449 and remember rule 62 is my experence
Member: tony D
Location: crystal lake il
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 11:43:14 AM
Read page 449 and remember rule 62 is my experence
Member: Lisa K
Location: IL
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 1:16:38 PM
Hi everyone,Lisa Alcoholic. Living Life on Lifes terms is a very good topic, thanks. Its very hard to take the bad with the good. I would like it all to be good but it don't work that way. My job went to Mexico if I would have had it my way I still would have my job. My husband still has a job at this time but not for long. We also raised pigs but the market went to low and we had to get out. The most important thing is I am sober and no matter what happens I know everything will be ok as long as I don't take that first drink.
Thanks for letting me share
Member: LU-LU, ALCOHOLIC !!!
Location: Yes I know I did mountains of coke , crank ice, pills pot,
acid, mushrooms,smoked a bit of heroin, tried P.C.P. etc. BUT, I identify
as an "alcoholic out of respect for bill, dr. PAUL,(DR. ALCOHOLIC ADDICT)
and all those other guys, and in honor of SINGLENESS OF PURPOS' and a working
knowledge of PRINCIPLES BEFOR PERSONALITIES. which of course includes my own.,
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 2:34:35 PM
MIKE B. OF AZ. ... WELCOME TO ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS Ever hear of a thing called "SINGLENESS OF PURPOSE" does "PRINCIPLES BEFORE PERSONALITIES" mean anything to you, or do you some how think it only applies before OTHER peoples prsonalities, and NOT yours?....
Member: Paul
Location: ohio
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 2:45:07 PM
Hi my name is Paul and I'm an alcoholic. Something I've known and actually did something about for several years. I decided I could hit life's curve balls sober as well as drunk and went back out. What a horrific 2 years. Now 9 days sober, I sit on my pity pot and wonder why everything isn't peachy again. I'm back in AA aren't I? I should be fixed. Now you see why I went back out in the first place. Instead of continuing seeking direction from my higher power, keeping up my meetings, and serving others, I chose to deal with life's issues on my own. My best (and worst) efforts got me drunk.Knowing as I do how good it can be in AA, my hopes are bolstered. I know the way I feel right now will change with time, effort, and a ton of meetings.Sometimes bad things happen in life, but if I stay sober,go to meetings, read the BB, and trust in my higher power, whatever cruelties that come my way I will be able to accept and go on. Thank you folks for being here and around the tables and reminding me I only have to deal with a day at a time.
Member: sonia and cat
Location: uk
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 5:43:51 PM
Hello world
I would like to apologize for my post, i think i missed corrines point totally and i didnt follow the discussion, sometimes i am blinded by my own issues, sorry.
Member: BOB P.
Location: NH
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 7:52:18 PM
Life on lifes terms...thats a ver good topic this week, as they all are. I do remember living life on lifes terms before I picked up and I had a ball, life seemed so simple then...and then I grew up and things seemed to get more complicated as I aquired more responsibilities. Being responsible was never anything I took seriously when I was drinking and using. The only thing I made sure I did was have enough money to have another drink or six pack for the next morning. Today I need to make sure I take care of business before it takes care of me. As the BIG BOOK says alcohol and drugs gave me wings to fly and then it took away the sky. Today I can see the sky and I like it. I am responsible ONE DAY AT A TIME. BOB P.
Member: Sherry H.
Location: Ariz.
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 8:12:04 PM
Hi,Sherry alcoholic. All i know is that before it always had to be my way.My Sponser told me one day that i was a perfect example of self will run riot!and when the hell was i going to Grow Up!!Since i have been sober i figured out what both of those things meant.I thought life sucked before,Why,Why,Why-Me.Now my life is wonderful! Sometimes life sucks in sobriety too but you go out and drink over it and see how much more sucky it can get!I don't want to take my chances out there anymore.It is not all about me.I try to live a good life and hope that life will be good to me.As long as i stay sober i think i can handle what life throws my way! Anyway that sounds good huh? Keep the faith Sherry
Member: mitchell
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:04:07 PM
I'm Mitchell, I'm an alcoholic. This is my first looksee into AA's web site...most impressive. So many great comments on the topic living life on life's terms. For me, prior to AA, it was life on my terms and my track record was terrible, but I didn't necessarily feel that my drinking was probably the main reason for this ongoing diaster. I honestly felt that life then was the good life. The blackouts, hangovers and vomiting were infrequent, but I rationalized away that as incidental to that good life. Fast forwarding, I got sick of my all too often embarrasing behavior, and with help went to a meeting. For nearly 14 years of sobriety life has been good to me. Thanks to all of you as a venue for support and sharing, and thank you God for your intervention and for bringing true spirituality into my life! Corrine, what did the Docs tell you today about your husband's lung tumor? God bless.
Member: John B.
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:11:04 PM
Hi, I'm John, and I'm an alcoholic. I lieu of going to a meeting tonight I thought that I would try coming here and read the postings and maybe share myself.
I am struggling with accepting life on life's terms. Or better put to accept the things that I cannot change. It seems that I prefer to hold onto things and accept responsalbilty for things that are out of my control, and then beat myself up.
I know that it is unhealthy, but I think that somehow I feel that I deserve the pain that it brings. That I deserve the punishment of that pain.
Looking for a way to let it go....
Member: mitchell
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:13:36 PM
I'm Mitchell, I'm an alcoholic. This is my first looksee into AA's web site...most impressive. So many great comments on the topic living life on life's terms. For me, prior to AA, it was life on my terms and my track record was terrible, but I didn't necessarily feel that my drinking was probably the main reason for this ongoing diaster. I honestly felt that life then was the good life. The blackouts, hangovers and vomiting were infrequent, but I rationalized away that as incidental to that good life. Fast forwarding, I got sick of my all too often embarrasing behavior, and with help went to a meeting. For nearly 14 years of sobriety life has been good to me. Thanks to all of you as a venue for support and sharing, and thank you God for your intervention and for bringing true spirituality into my life! Corrine, what did the Docs tell you today about your husband's lung tumor? God bless.
Member: Mary V.
Location: CT
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 9:19:09 PM
(((Sonia)))) if you were off the topic, I'm glad because I totally can relate to what you shared. I thought I was totally crazy for having just those type of conscious "dreams". And you hit the nail right on the head- it's a need for attention and to be taken care of. Thank you SO much for sharing so honestly!!!! You are NOT alone. love, Mary
Member: Doug K
Location: greening West Michigan
Date: 4/9/01
Time: 10:15:24 PM
Hi everyone, my name is Doug and I'm an alcoholic. Many of the things that have occurred in my life that I thought were the absolute worst thing for Doug (including the events that brought me to AA)have turned out to be nothing short of miracles. So many that I have to realize that, most the time, I don't know what's best for Doug. Who the hell do I think I am, anyway? Why do I think I'm so special that each day, life should work out the way I want it to? Do I actually live with faith in my HP, or do I just mouth it at meetings because that's what I'm supposed to say? Since sobering up in this program, a few people whom I love dearly have passed, a few are very sick, Health problems, job problems, kid problems, money problems...high class problems. Amidst them all, my HP has seen to it that I haven't had a need to take a drink. I don't think I'll forget what a miracle that is for me. I don't think I'll forget to express my gratitude to and ask for another 24 from god as I understand god. Thanx
Member: Corinne B.
Location: Home in Camino
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 12:58:34 AM
To ((Mitchell)):
Please read my comments regarding the outcome of the doctor's appointment today over on the Coffee Pot page (Posted there about 12:40 a.m. 4/10).
And ((Sonia)) not to worry - you're right where you're supposed to be. *g
Corinne
Member: Carol
Location: MN
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 1:57:37 AM
About a year ago I was coming up on 20 years of sobriety and was contemplating suicide. Our big move to fulfill a lifelong dream of living on a hobby farm and having horses had turned into a nightmare. A leaky house that the doctor said I had to move out of or it would kill me because of the molds, my husband out of a job for close to three years had used up all of our reserves and we were deeply in debt so no hope of fixing it. Plus I was becoming slowly paralyzed from Post Polio Syndrome. I planned on leaving the first of September but it was by suicide. Before I got that far, God stepped in and put a huge gravel pit next to us with all sorts of noxious fumes I could not survive and dragged us kicking and screaming off from that farm onto another one he had picked out for us. Immediately after moving my little pomeranian dog got stepped on by a horse and was blinded. One day I took him out for a walk. He followed me so faithfully, trusting me to lead him around the holes, trees and whatever was in his path. As the days went by and I saw how completely he trusted me to meet all of his needs and never let him fall, harm himself or be put in danger he taught me a very big lesson. Just as the dog followed me, all I have to do is put my faith completely in God and he will lead me around all obstacles in my path. Just as he dragged me kicking and screaming from my dream farm, he gave me a beautiful old farmhouse and four times as much land to raise horses on. Like the lost sheep returning to the fold, I am now safely following the path God has put before me. All thoughts of suidice are gone. I truly am accepting life on life's terms. That doesn't mean that I am miraculously healed, but it does mean that I accept the multiple health problems that I have and don't have to drink over them. Carol
Member: David H.
Location: Nova Scotia E.Canada
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 6:04:36 AM
Have not "Posted" on "Staying Cyber" for a very long time.Could not sleep so here I amThank's Carol for your word's. I must have needed them! After "Slipping & Sliding" in this Program for 16 yrs. I finally surrendered completely 6 years ago this comming July 11 th. [ sounds like I'm rushing it. ] Don't mean to. It's 1 daat. My best friend & his wife are also Polio Survivors. [ My Dad also { deceased} ] Richard said to me , " One chooses to be a VICTIM , we are SURVIVOR'S. Sounds good to me. I am a TRUE ALCOHOLIC. I alway's feel GREAT to-day , when everything goes my way! Thanks for letting me " RANT".
Member: Miriam T.
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 6:42:11 AM
Dear Cyber family haven't posted in a while. Thought I'd check in and see what's going on. Dear Dave in Darkness...Turn you life over to a Higher Power of your understanding...do the next best RIGHT thing in front of you, don't drink...go to a meeting, find a sponsor,choose a home group,and use your sponser for guidance and suggestions. The telephone only weighs 500lbs when we need to pick it up. Welcome to the light at the beginning of the tunnel one day at a time.
Member: Miriam T.
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 6:43:59 AM
Miriam T. in Baltimore again. Anyone who would like to email me address is Kiaute@yahoo.com. Let's do in cyberly.
Member: Robert
Location: Canada
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 9:22:16 AM
Thats an interesting idea about Carols dog and having complete faith,in someone else,or a HP to guide us through all the problems of life.I guess thats the trouble with being human,its so hard to know when to just have faith things are going to be alright if we just stay sober and try to live right or when we should really be making decesions and plans,and trying to improve and build a better life.My best planing over the last 25 years has brought me here,to the point were Im starting all over again,only without alcohol cause I can't handel it anymore.Sure was a tough lesson to learn.Im not to sure of much else but I know Im better off than I was a few months ago. Take care fellow travelers.
Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 6:26:33 PM
Mark, alcoholic. Corrine, my prayers are with you and your husband. Sometimes life sucks, but it definately is better than the alternative. Stumbling through life creating pain and insanity behind booze and dope isn't living. Today, I live with all the pratfalls that come with life. What I haven't talked about is all the blessings God has freely bestowed upon me. I do routinely today, what I used to fantasize about in a drug or alcoholic induced stupor. Grand Forks AFB North Dakota get ready, cuz we be on our way in 6 weeks.
Mark
Member: Ed G,
Location: Bryan
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 6:50:44 PM
Hi I am Ed an alcoholic, Dealing with life on lifes terms is hard for everyone not only the alcoholic, but it is more difficult for us cause we think that every time something doesn't go our way we need that drink to get us through, but we are just putting off the problem so that we don't have to deal with it. But the problem is still there, just worst and more frustrating. I have to continue going to my AA meetings and taking it one day at a time.
Member: LindaO
Location: Houston, TX
Date: 4/10/01
Time: 10:28:09 PM
Life on Lifes Terms, boy that is a hard one. I'm new to this, very new, try the first 24 hours. Just trying to deal with life, minute by minute. You know, I keep trying to remember what I used to do in the evenings before I drank. I just can't remember. Does anyone? I have been to a meeting or two but I haven't found the time to go. I work two jobs (no excuse I guess) but I thought this site might help me. I'm trying..........
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 2:06:58 AM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic,
From growing in this program I learned I had NEVER lived life on life's terms - whether things were going good OR bad. If they were bad, the response would be "lets go out for a few drinks & deal with this later" & if things were really good it would be "Hey! Let's Party & celebrate!" I did not know how to simply have a feeling - good or bad - I had to escape it.
In early sobriety my sponsor continually told me the Solution to each arising conflict, problem, behaviors of others in my life were Acceptance - if God can intervene in my life & help me, is HE not able to help them as well? If I had to go thru all that made me become willing to surrender, don't they also? If God can remove my desire to drink/drug - can't He also take care of the problem going on?
For each thing, she would tell me to Ask God to do HIS WILL with the situation - AND with ME - and to help me Accept whatever that may turn out to be. Took me awhile but I finally caught on - The Serenity Prayer! Thanks for letting me share. Pam
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 3:22:20 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Life on Life's terms is a great topic.We have a twelve step program, the first step deals exclusively with the problem.From step two thru step twelve, we deal exclusively with the solution. STEPS TO ME MEAN = solution to every problem sober. I will challenge anyone to show me a problem that cannot be addressed by the twelve steps of AA. Life is life, joy is optional.The joy for me is living the twelve steps of AA. I have been living this way of life, IMPERFECTLY as heck, for fourteen years of continous sobriety. The key for this alcoholic to good sobriety is I am useful today, no more no less, just useful.I have a reason to get up in the morning. God's gift to me today is life and sobriety, my gift to God is how I live my life, and that is thru the twelve steps of AA.Not my program, as I hear some say, but AA'S program. Thanks for a great topic and God Bless.
Member: DB
Location: KC
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 9:06:19 AM
My Name is Dave. I am an alcoholic.
I am responsible when anyone,anywhere reaches out for help. I want the hand of AA always to be there And for that I am Responsible.
This has brought me out of the dark cave into the sunlight and is here for all.
Member: Scott H
Location: Michigan
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 12:14:34 PM
HI, Scott,alcoholic. Sober all of seven days.Last time I was sober 16 days. before that 92 days.Before that several months at a time here and there.And,, before that six Years. What happened? I wish I knew all the answers to that question.I do know that I have not been dealing with life on life's terms. I read about Carol's nightmare and I have a bunch of my own. Lost my family again,I'm in deep financial trouble,I lost my business, I'm about to lose my vehicle and my house. I am living in my old shop building right now (where my thriving business used to be)and hating it, etc.. I know what got me here. Their names are Kessler and Bud. Sound familiar anyone?My pity pot had gotten so big I fell in and nearly drowned. I have all the tools to stay sober with, I just haven't used them. When You are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remember that the initial objective was to drain the swamp. So, for two weeks I wandered around in that swamp, alligators snapping at me, feeling sorry for myself. And all the time I was wondering "Why Me?". Well, why not me? I had the tools and I had the choice. I made the wrong choice and lost my tools. Did I call my sponsor? NO! Did I go to a meeting ? NO! Did I ask God for Help? NO! I just took MY will back, summoned up all my ego and false pride and jumped in the swamp. What a great place to be.The day I stopped I had hallucinations and delerium. That was a first for me. Scared the hell out of me. I am still not feeling well a week later. So, why do I do this? Am I insecure? YES. Do I lack humility? YES. And what about my faith? Is it weakened? YES. Why? Because I am one who wants what he wants when he wants it.God grant me patience, and HURRY! Bottom line. Its good to be back. Even though I am still sick from my romp in the swamp, I am not drinking. Can't say enough about that. Thanks all, for being here for me today. In time I may be again able to be here for someone else who is still sick and suffering.
Member: I'M HUNGRY
Location:
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 12:20:32 PM
SONIA, GO BREAK INTO YOUR KIDS PIGGY BANK ... LETS EAT CHINESE....
Member: richad m
Location: sarasota,fl
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 12:23:30 PM
hello everyone ....my name is richard , i am an alcoholic... my sobriety date is 12/28/85...today i have 5583 days clean and sober......accepting life on lifes terms is always a daily concept ........living in today is always the best way to stay away from picking up a drink ......in working the 10th step ...i uncover my underlying character defects and problems ...as they relate to my alcoholisim.....i have been enjoying an o'douls from time to time......why ?..i like the taste and do not believe the .05% makes any difference......i need to examin my motives .for if i live in alie .sooner or later ...i will decide i need an a'douls with a little "kick" to it ....perhaps i would try some of that 3.2% beer?....thinking it through ...it become s a matter of tie , untill i could be right back to .......drinking the hard stuff.......with out GOD's grace ..we can not make it any way .i pray to always be doing his will ! See i (we ) must continualy turn to god for help .....thank you.. god bless you ...and i love you !!!!!
Member: Tom G
Location: central michigan
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 2:01:51 PM
tom, alcoholic, sober today by the grace of a loving God. I live life on life's terms by remembering where I come from compared to where I am today, not picking up the first drink, and keeping in contact with this site. The serenity prayer lays it out for me. First things first. Easy does it. Keep it simple (stupid). Does it work? I have not had a drop of alcohol for over 11 years because people like you showed me it worked if you worked it. Early on I needed to learn HOW to stay sober. H=honesty O=openmindedness and W=willingness. My sponsor said that was the "HOW" in chapter 5 of the Big BooK, entitled "How It Works". Thank God for my sponsor, who died last year after 20 years of continous sobriety. He used to tell me my head was as hard as the concrete sidewalk, but he loved me when I felt unloveable. Thanks for letting me share, one day at a time.
Member: Duncan M
Location: Carlisle UK
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 5:35:18 PM
Hi My name is Duncan im an alcoholic. Dealing with life on lifes terms is one of the hardest things ive had to do in my sober life. Life has dealt me some hard times. The pressure that is on me at the moment, I wonder how I manage to stay away from the amber nectar. Ive not been going to meeting for a long time now, and im feeling the stress of that. I know that i should go back as everything that I have at the moment is down to the fellowship and I need to put something back into the place that has given me life.Its the terms that i cant cope with!!!
Member: loretta c.
Location: Asheville, N.C.
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 7:41:41 PM
Why would any of us decide to drink near beer, I call it. I'm only a drink away from a drunk at nearly 7, and I know I only drank to get drunk. I am new to cyber space so maybe ya'll know somethin I don't I'm Loretta and I'm an Real One!!
Member: bert
Location: out of jail now
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 7:49:09 PM
in jail they call the black people "toads",
that is so funny i couldnt stop laughing,when
you think about it,they do kind of look like
toads.
Member: William.A.
Location: High-Point.
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 9:33:06 PM
Hello,WilliamA,Alkie.
A good topic,life on life's term's is necessary but not alway's fun for this Alkie.
Member: OJ SIMPSONS
Location:
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 9:38:37 PM
YOUR FUNNY BERT
Member: Mary V
Location: CT
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 9:56:07 PM
(((Scott H))) welcome back... congrats on the sober week!!! KCB, it's working for me!
Member: Brock S.
Location: Richfield, OH; by Cleveland
Date: 4/11/01
Time: 11:18:14 PM
Hello everyone! I'm Brock and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time on staying cyber, and I must say that some of your letters really touched home with me. Up until last Sat. I had 2 1/2 weeks of sobriety, my longest since being 18. I am now 25, and still have a very hard time with it, of course, it's not easy. I don't know if I can make a comment on Life On Life's Terms yet, although it is a very good topic, as they all am I'm sure (Thanks Donnie!). I still haven't found myself a sponsor, and definitely don't go to as many meetings as I should. For the last 5 or 6 years, Life's terms were too easy to forget about, or ignore, 'cause I felt if I wasn't drinking or drunk, I wouldn't be happy. Then, I just forgot about the consequences of not dealing with Life's terms, and everything just built up, and I thought I was going to combust. It came, a couple times, to trying to commit suicide. How selfish and uncaring I was at that time. By the Grace Of God and the support of my loving, and patient, family and close friends, I am still alive, and for the first time, happy about it. I am going to work on getting a sponsor so he can help me along with starting to work the steps, and also, most important of all, keep praying; for myself, and all of you out there that have learned to deal with Life On Life's Terms, and those of you who haven't yet, like myself. God Bless you all, and thanks for letting me share and read your comments. I'll write again, Thanks!
Member: SOBER WHITEMAN
Location: GOD'S WORLD
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 1:18:10 AM
Bert i don't think the stay did you any good !!I hope you work out your issues ,i hope that the program really works for you and i really hope you listen to the preamble and read the big book GOD bless you !!
Member: Tim
Location: Reno
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 2:44:22 AM
Lu Lu, You wrote a message addressed to me concerning me trying to only use this web site as source of sobriety. I took your advice and started going to meetings regularly. I now have a sponsor and am trying to work on the steps. This web site does still help me, however I'm just now learning how sick I am and how much work it is going to take to remain sober. I have 68 days, 69 in about a half hour-can't sleep. I now know I am in this for life, I have to be. It is a hell of lot better than living in the vicious cycle that has been my drunken life. John B. I too struggle with taking responsability for the damage I have done. I'm trying to accept things I can't change, however I feel obligated to pay for what I've done. I wish I had an answer for you, for now it is day by day. At least I'm not drinking. My sponsor tells me every day that I don't drink is a good day, it helps me keep things in perspective. I'm not sure what lifes terms are for me. All I know is I feel better than I did 68 days ago.
Thanks Lu Lu, and thanks to everyone else for sharing, it helps.
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 3:50:58 AM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
I think I always lived on life's terms. I didn't like it, I fought against it and lived miserably.
I came into AA and finally got through the steps. Today I have come to believe that my God will look after me no matter what life throws at me. Before, I always wanted God to change things.
By practicing step 11, as outlined in the Big Book, every day I maintain this faith. There are some things that have not changed in my life since I came into AA. Instead of getting drunk over them I now turn them over to my God, and rarely think about them.
I now have
Peace and Serenity
Member: Eduardo.L
Location: Bolivia:South America
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 10:49:35 AM
A/A is a spirituall program, there is no way other than seeking a spirituall awakening experience.The entire program points toward God in every chapter of the blue book. By kneeling dawn every day, and praying fervently to God, thanking Him for 24 hrs of sobriety and most of all for His presense in our lives, we will come to a spiritual awakening and to the real recovery. Let God do the work, and be a trigger of He´s perfect will for our lives. I´ve been doing that for 3 years, clean and sober just by the grace of God.
Member: SCB
Location:
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 3:08:24 PM
Tim from Reno - what you said really helped me:"Every day I don't drink is a good day - helps keep things in perspective" : many thanks, I needed that.
Member: SCB
Location:
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 3:09:51 PM
Sorry for two posts! Also thanks to Chuck for the thing about things not changing/handing them over
Member: Mark D
Location: Texas
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 6:16:08 PM
Hi, y'all. I'm Mark - an alcoholic. Life on life's terms is a good subject. When life's been good to me, I look back and see my closeness to God. When life's been tough, I look back and see my distance from God - and my substitution of alcohol in His place. Carol from Minnesota - What a great story. Thanks. I'll always remember that. Linda O from Houston - Congratulations on your first 24 hours. You're right - its tough at first - minute by minute. But it WILL get better. Your brain and your body will remember how to survive without alcohol. God bless you.
Member: AZbill
Location: New Email Address.
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 7:05:00 PM
Hi. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona and been sober ever since I knowed how.
Living life on lifes terms. Great topic and easy to address. The thought comes to mind to "turn it over" Now that sounds good but just how I do that? Very early in sobriety I found the 3rd Step prayer worked real well and I still use that today. The real key to living life on life's terms is in the steps
My sobriety is shot thought with failures. I didn't agree with some hospital's policies so I quit. Some hospitals didn't agree with me so I got fired. A cancer research center in WVA ran out of money so again I was on the hunt. I was terminal my self in 1994 but skated out of that. My marriage failed in sobriety. Some of you may remember the bumper sticker from years ago. "SH*T HAPPENS" And that is very true. But today when "SH*T HAPPENS", I flush it.
Most of this became clear on pages 83/84 the promises. Especially the self seeking slipping away. But the most significant awakening came further down the page. Where one of the invisible promises tells me that my sanity has returned and that I will react sanely and rationally. What this means to me is that I must get out of the problem and into the solution as quickly as possible. I use good judgement today.
Good judgement comes from experience, but unfortunately a lot of experience comes from bad judgement. However, there will be many times that we can do nothing about some situations. We can't change them nor for some given reason we cannot get away from a bad situation. I just give a sigh, say what the heck, slap the son of a gun upside the head and take a ninth step on it later.
Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today.
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Tarita M.
Location: Upstate
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 10:02:53 PM
Hi Family, I,m an alcoholic named Tarita and truly grateful to have found this site. I've been in the program only 8months and I'm starting to feel. In my days of drinking and drugging I thought that to be the feeling to have on a daily basis. Not ever thinking I had a problem, that there was a person I was running away from. Living life on lifes terms, if I wanted to stay clean and sober was something I didn't want to bring myself to do it was to painful. I look back now and am a much happier person today, learning to accept the things I cannot change and having the courage to change the things I can, ONE DAY AT A TIME and I must say the grass is Truly greener on this side. Corinne, I'm to the group but, I'd like to wish you luck with the husband, I have a sick boyfriend diabetes,dialysis etc. I can definitely relate.
Member: Miriam W.
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 11:37:28 PM
I suppose we can talk about anything else thats bothering us? My sponsor seems to be sending mixed messages...one minute she wants to keep it a sponsor/sponsee relationship and then she invites me to do something social, I get excited about the social invitation don't behave I guess the way she wants me to behave, she takes my inventory and says we should keep it on a sponsor/sponsee level. She has done this to me on 2 separate occasions and when I try to talk to her about it I get told SHE doesn't need a lecture from me and to stop taking HER inventory and that she shouldn't be my friend because I might manipulate her, and she's not good at hanging out! Any feedback on this would greatly be appreciated. I told her when I last talked to her that maybe it's time for me to get a new sponsor. I was under the impression that your sponsor was someone you could relate to and help you stay sober thru the steps...not seem to fight your personality differences. Email me and let me know what you think at Kiaute@yahoo.com.
Member: Miriam W.
Location: Baltimore, MD
Date: 4/12/01
Time: 11:40:06 PM
I suppose we can talk about anything else thats bothering us? My sponsor seems to be sending mixed messages...one minute she wants to keep it a sponsor/sponsee relationship and then she invites me to do something social, I get excited about the social invitation don't behave I guess the way she wants me to behave, she takes my inventory and says we should keep it on a sponsor/sponsee level. She has done this to me on 2 separate occasions and when I try to talk to her about it I get told SHE doesn't need a lecture from me and to stop taking HER inventory and that she shouldn't be my friend because I might manipulate her, and she's not good at hanging out! Any feedback on this would greatly be appreciated. I told her when I last talked to her that maybe it's time for me to get a new sponsor. I was under the impression that your sponsor was someone you could relate to and help you stay sober thru the steps...not seem to fight your personality differences. Email me and let me know what you think at Kiaute@yahoo.com.
Member: Carol
Location: MN
Date: 4/13/01
Time: 1:33:07 AM
Hi, Carol from MN again. Just wanted to thank Dave H. for reminding me that I am a polio survivor, not a victim. Scott H. Glad you are back. Thanks for sharing what it is like back in the swamp with the alligators snapping at your butt. When I look back at the whole 3 year nightmare, I must have been doing something right because I never took that first drink, never stopped praying and kept working the steps. When it came right down to it and the gravel pit put my life in danger, I fought tooth and claw to stay alive. An update on brave little dog. When I went out to get him this morning he was proudly standing on the bottom step. So I coaxed him one step at a time and he made his way up the steps and across the porch into the house and then stood there proudly wagging his tail! Now where have I heard of one step at a time before and keep on working them. At the end is a spiritual awakening. Still living life on life's terms, one day at a time as well. Thanks for listening to my babble.
Member: Alice R.
Location: Ak
Date: 4/13/01
Time: 4:23:11 AM
Good Morning America My name is Alice and I am a gratefull Alcoholic! This is a great topic life on life's terms. It reminds me of my life's daily expirences and how acceptance has been a great healing. I have had a great week, my daughter just turned 19yrs old and I celebrated it sober! I recently attended an A.A. banquet and won a door prize, It is called Daily reflections.Today's is: "Giving up insanity" ...Where alcohol has been involved, we have been strangely insane. BigBook Pg.38
Alcoholisim required me to drink, whether I wanted to or not. Insanity dominated my life and was the essence of my life disease. It robbed me of the freedom of choice over drinking and, therefore, robbed me of all other choices. When I drank, I was unable to make effective choices in any part of my life and life became unmanageable.
I ask God to help me understand and accept the full meaning of the disease of alcoholism.
Daily Reflections
Thank's you all for listing to me this morning/night! God Bless you all and keep comming back! Alice R
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon
Date: 4/13/01
Time: 9:51:00 AM
my name is anil I am an alcholic how to deal with your life in your life's terms to me means that u do god's work 'cause he has blesseed us with this life on earth take full use of it . without expecting any rewards in return .I do my duties towards my wife family my parents and my friends.leave everything upto god's will to what he for me for future. I have learnt everybad thing u do in this life will come back to u hount u sooner or later.
Member: Philomena DOS 11/04/94
Location: So. California
Date: 4/13/01
Time: 11:21:09 PM
~~~\_/7......updtd 04/13/2001 It's me Philomena, grateful alcoholic, "Happy Friday 13th!" WOW, our names, NOW look, at how many, from when I first started this site @ 6 weeks ago. This is from the discussion meetings, coffee pot, and I believe a 12 & 12 from archives,that I checked out.
Look at our group. Awesome.
Hello to (((ALL))) of you .. . . .
:-):-):-), Adam H, Al K, Alice R, Allison W, AndrewA, AndyM, Anil G, ANNA, Anne, Annie K, Annie P, Anonymous, Ardis, Arlene, Art P, AvrilG, AZBill, Babette R, Barry L, Bea, BillJ, Bill M, BillP, BillW, BilliJo, Billy D, Bob F, Bob P, Bob Patles, Bob S, Bobby, Brenda C, Brian B, Briana, Brock S, Bruce C, ButchL,Candi, Carol,Carol C, Carol D, Carol MN, Carol S W, Carole A, Carrie L, Cary B, Cec H, Charles M, Charlie Darling,Cher449, CheriseF, ChrisB, ChrisH,ChrisM, Chris0kC, ChuckK, ChuckM, ClaraA, Clara L, Colleen NA, Connie P, Corinne B, DB, DLeonard, Dale L, Dan N, Daniel, Bob S, DaveZ, David, David B, David H, David R, Dean S, DEB, Deborah,Derek B, Diana P, Don F, Don W, Donnie M, Doug K, Doug R, DuncanM, Ed G, Edie R, EduardoL, Eileen L, Elaine, Elliott,Eric, Eric H, Ferdinand, Fayla, Fran D, FranW, FrankK,Frank M, Fred, Fred M, Gail, GaryC, GaryK, Geri W, GerryMac, Glen, Glen H, Gordon, Harry K, Heather, Heidi P, Hipolito, JJ, JackB, Jaclyn H, James P, JamieB, JanBB, Jan S, Janine B, Jason B, JEAN, Jeff, JenG,Jenn, Jennifer, JeremiahM, Jerry J, Jim B, JimK, JJ, JMS, Jo D, JoM, Joan H, Joe, JoeH, Joe R, Johanna, John B, John W, JosephZ, JoyceY,Judi, Julie, Justin R, KarrieL, KateH, KathyM, Kathy R, KatieD, KatieN, Kaye F, Kelly F, Ken C, Ken S, Kerry, Kerry B, Kerry F, KimD, KimO,Kirsten T, Laila, L.A.Roxx, LeAnn W,Lee P, LegrandplayerDAN, LesA, Les C, Lilly, LindaA, Linda O,Linda S, Lisa IL, Lisa C, LisaK, LoisS, Lori R, LoriS,Lorraine,Loretta,LukeD, Lyn, Lyle, Lynne B, Lynn S, MarcyC, Marie, MarkA, Mark B, Mark D, Mark L, Mark W, Martina G, Mary, MaryV, Matt L, Mel, Melissa B, Michael B, Mike PA, MikeK, MikeL, MikeM, Mike W, Milt,Miriam T, Miriam W, MishaB, MitchellWI, Mouse,Mrellen, Nadia B, NancyW, NateH, NewBeastie, Noel, NormP, Otto P, Pam B, PamD,Pam Midwest, Pat g, Patti D, Pattw/2tees, PaulB, Paul OH, PaulM,PaulaP, PaulineG, PeggyH, Perry A, PhilA, Philomena, RayP, Rayday75,RedZ, Rhonda, RickA,Rich R, Richad M, Rob, Robert C, Robert CD, Robert J, Robin, RobinA, Rod, RogerS, Ron N, Roxanne H, RT, S W, Sami, Sanders W & little fella, Sandy B, Sarah, SarahS, SCB, Scott,Scott E, ScottH, Sean, Shannon, Sharon,Sharon Frey, Sheheh C, SheilaL,Sherry H, Sherri M, Shirley, SidH, SidL, Sonia & cat, StanM, Stacey S, Stephanie, StephanieT, Stephen, Stephen T, Steve, Sue G, synonymousPhilD, TaritaM, TerrenceW,TerryG, TheThief, Thomas R, Thumper, TiffanyB, Tim V, TimY, TinaM, Todd, Toddy, Tom, TomG, TomM, tony-da-duck, Tony D,Tony G, TP,TriciaMC, Typing Monkey, Valerie, Verna, Vinnie V, Von, Will D, William A, WillieD, Wouter, Yvonne, Zane, Zeke.
Thank you all for being here!!! THIS IS A GROUP HUG (((FOR ALL OF YOU. THANK YOU FOR YOUR SHARING & FOR BEING HERE)))
Have a very joyous, spiritual & happy Easter!
KCB....Keep Coming Back. Remember to Keep It Simple. ODAAT....One Day At A Time.
ALL of you are in my thoughts and prayers.
Thank you for letting me share. Take Care. Peace. (/o\) //_\\ God bless you (((ALL))), love, Philomena
Member: Debbie T.
Location: PA
Date: 4/13/01
Time: 11:48:09 PM
Hello, My name is Debbie and I'm an Alcholic. My first visit to this room. I really enjoyed the topic, Life on Lifes term. Excellent for me to read all the post tonight. I was had a urge to drink earlier tonight and I literally threw my self on my knees in my bedroom. I prayed for God to remove the obsession from me and guide me. He has been so Gracious to me. Thank you all for being here and letting me share. Debbie
Member: lis
Location:
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 2:08:10 AM
Hi I ask prayed for willingness it didn't come. Then I prayed for the openness to be willing. I am struggling daily. easy does it.
Member: Yesi C.
Location: Santa Monica,CA
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 2:27:24 AM
Hello, my name is Yesi and i am an alcoholic -drug addict. I have been clean and sober for 260 days and i to have had to learn how to treat others with respect. I have done that through not picking up or using one day at a time. I believe that by doing this I am respecting myself and I must respect and love myself before I can love and respect others. I understand my wrong doings and ask GOD- first and foremost- to forgive me, iI know that the rest will fall in place only if I stay for today. Thank you for letting me share and GOD bless!
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: detroit
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 8:16:52 AM
Life on life's terms? Fantastic topic for me this week (any week!). Someone mentioned pg449 of the AA BB. I thought that page applied so much to my recovery that I went ahead and memorized it...
ACCEPTANCE ... And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober ; unless I accept life on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."...
Member: hugh heffner
Location:
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 12:36:06 PM
im running around the neighborhood naked today
i am the easter bunny,dont shoot the messenger
Member: CHris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 2:47:38 PM
CHris here--alcoholic/addict/bulimic// I really like hearing about life on life's terms...that has ALWAYS been hard for me, but expecially sober! That is why i used --to escape reality. I have to really work on this, because evenin sobriety, I can easily try to escape my reality. What is great, though, is that This program does give us tools ( that I never had before) to live in reality. If I am working the steps, i am so involved in reality that I don't have time to use my little escape mechanisms. BUt my problem is when I have gotten lax about working the steps (as I am now), I tend to want to escape... I really like what someone said about using taking away your choices... THat was so true for me. THank GOd for the proagram of A>A> adn the choices it gives us.
Member: Tom T.
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 8:49:23 PM
Hi I'm Tom and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober for three years, and close to four months now. This is the first time I've ever gone online for a meeting. I've found that taking that drink not only hurts others, but mostly myself. And a drunk can deprive themselves so much of what is really truly out there. Healthy things I've found to do, even on a spiritual level, are incredible.
Member: David R.
Location: Houston
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 9:25:49 PM
Hi y'all, my name is David R. and I am alcoholic. I have been clean and sober for a while, but I haven't been to a meeting but maybe once in the past year.
My lover left me almost three years ago, and I've chosen to let him go to the old meetings we went to together, and I've not chosen to find new meetings for myself. I really needed to hear about the topic life on life's terms this week. I agree with what many have said about this being a topic that is relevant for the rest of my life. I am not fighting life today, but I'm also not embracing it. I've been stagnate for a while, and I don't like it. I don't want to drink, but I have thoughts about it nonetheless. I even attended a Chivas scotch tasting party recently, but I only smelled the scotch while everone else tasted it. If that's not insanity, I don't no what is.
My favorite posts on this site so far have been those about people who have gone out drinking and then come back humbled. I need to hear about that every day, if possible. I know I am very close to drinking given the pattern I've been displaying of late. It's not that life on life's terms has me down, it's that I'm an alcoholic, and that's what alcoholics do . . . drink!
I know that I can't just use a web-site in place of an in person meeting, but today, this is going to have to do. I have let all of the drama of a failed relationship keep me from meetings for too long. I'm embarassed that it's the path I chose, but hey, there it is. Life on life's terms includes the fact that relationships don't always work out. Even when you have a commitment ceremony with all of your friends and family in attendance. Even when you're both sober, and even when you both go to meetings. Even when you sponsor others and pray and try to be of service. Even after all of that, my relationship failed. Life on life's terms is understanding that I have not failed, but WE did, if that makes any sense. I am a perfect child of God. I know that in my soul, and in my soul I know that everything works out and that I am taken care of.
The interesting side-note to life on life's terms is living honestly. What I mean by that is that if I truly accept life on lifes terms, then I have no need to be dishonest. Of late, I've found that gut-level honesty has eluded me. I am lying to myself about lots of things, and it's not getting me anywhere. If I truly live life on life's terms, lying to myself would not be necessary.
Two things that bother me the most I would like to leave here, so that I can go forth with a little less baggage. Last year, I came to the end of the year with a few hours short of the goal that my firm wanted me to meet. Rather than accept this, and thereby live life on the terms I was dealt, I made up the hours to a fake client, which I then intended to write-off later, without ever billing it. The most bizarre part about all of this (and probably the most fruedian) is that the fake client I billed the hours to was my ex-lover. I never intended for him to get the bill, but he did through an administrative screw-up of my own making.
He called me about the bill, I confessed what I had done and told him no payment was expected from him at all, because I would be writing off the bill. He was very judgmental of my actions, and stirred up a lot of bad feelings on my part about what a horrible human being I am. Enough of the facts, but the point is I created an incredible web of deceit and falsehoods, simply because I couldn't accept life on life's terms in relation to the number of hours I had billed in one year. I now have to pay the bill myself, in order to make the appropriate amends. The truth is, I still haven't begun to pay it, and I wish I never had to do it.
The other thing I want to leave here is that I'm going out with a new person for the first time in many years, but I'm afraid that he and I have not had safe enough sex and that I am now HIV positive. If I had been living life on life's terms, I feel like I would have broken up with him when I learned he was HIV positive, and simply said that I am not able to trust myself enough at this stage of my life to be in this kind of relationship. I feel like I'm being dishonest by staying in the relationship, because I feel like I'm too messed up emotionally to carry on a successful relationship.
Enough. I needed to dump, and I needed to feel like I was a small part of a sober community again. I hope that this is the beginning of a new commitment on my part, but I also know that all I have is today. I'm not going to make any promises about tomorrow, but I'm not going to drink tonight.
Thank you for being "there" wherever there is.
Member: Gillian
Location: W
Date: 4/14/01
Time: 10:48:59 PM
Hi, My name is Gillian. I am an alcoholic. This is my first day on line and the first location I looked for was AA. Of course you all are there keeping the chairs warm. Life on Lifes terms can be for good days as well as difficult ones. There have been times in my sobriaty that the goodness was harder to handle than the tough pulls. What has always worked for me is to stick close by my AA women friends and sponcer. Who knows me better and who can see the picture more clearly than I ? Thanks for being there.
Member: Mark R
Location: Hill Country Texas
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 1:00:03 AM
Life on life's terms can be possible only after giving yourself fully over to a higher power. (God in my case)
Once I have surrendered, that I know that life--as it is happening--not as I WISHED it was happening--is actually God's will being done in my life.
That gives me peace.
I am new to this site...sober four years.
Thabnks for letting me share
Member: Jeff
Location: Northern CA
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 1:31:51 AM
Hi, My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. Living life on lifes terms...not mine.
What is was like for me when I was drinking was that I lived in a different world. I worked hard and then drank harder. When I felt happy or sad or lonely or good or bad I would drink. I reacted to just about anything by wanting to drink or looking forward to the next drink. When I was drunk I either wanted to be drunker or sober. Nothing was good enough and I was going to fix it...tomorrow. When tomorrow came I ended up drunk somehow.
AA and you guys here and in the meeting and Denny's & at your homes and mine have shown me a different way to think and act. Through the steps and my attempts at them I have tried some things I would never do on my own and life has gotten better.
In short, I learned from AA that I had to be convinced that me running the show would get me where it always got me. Drunk. I had to decide to turn my thoughts and my actions over to the care of some power greater than myself (God works best for me)and then take the actions described by the steps of the program of AA. I learned to pray and to relax in the morning and start my day well. I say the Serinity Prayer, 3rd step prayer, 7th step prayer and ask that my thinking be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives (I got little cards from my meetings and I deal them out in the morning..it's the most consistant thing I have ever done in my life) ...I ask him to show me what I am and what I could be, I ask Him to make me grateful, and to make me willing, and I thank Him for keeping me sober.
Then I go out and try to remember that I prayed. Some days I forget quickly and I'm yelling at someone from behind the wheel of my truck 10 minutes out the door. Some days I am relaxed and calm a good part of the day and I remember. Those are the days I like and I think that that power bigger than me does too.
Thank you all for being here.
Member: dan
Location:
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 1:32:49 AM
lord,
give me strength to deal with teens and pre-teens..................... i may go crazy......say a prayer for me tonite please.
Member: rg
Location:
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 1:46:06 AM
gilligan?
Member: Greg
Location: Phoenix
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 2:27:32 AM
Hi...I think I belong here
Greg
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location:
Date: 4/15/01
Time: 8:32:27 AM
welcome greg!