Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 64.118.240.97
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 08:09 AM -0500

Comments

Godd Morning everyone. My name is Kim M and I am an alcoholic. I would like to know what everyone thinks are the "ISM'S" of recovery. I have been graced with one my family and sponsor calls perfectionism that adds to the difculity of my alcoholism. Being sarcastic: It is a very big blessing to me. Before I could care less what I looked like or how my house was organized or my work was completed or not. Now everything has to be just right, ORGANIZED! To the extreme! Not just my stuff, but your stuff too. And just to let you know, I have had to write this comment down on paper a few times and correct the misspelling, plus go over it a few times as I have typed. I am really bugging with this one. What other ISM'S do I have to look forward too!


Member: Angela V.
Location: Arkansas USA
Remote Name: 68.51.48.68
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 10:10 AM -0500

Comments

Hi Kim, hi everybody....I'm Angela, I'm an alcoholic, sobriety date 07/26/1991. I've always heard ISM defined as Insane, Selfish and Moody. So any behavior that falls under one of those category headings would qualify. But, in my experience, perfectionism, in and of itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. Taking care of yourself, taking pride in your work and your appearance, making sure your house is clean, your clothes are pressed and your shoes are shined, all can be manifestations of a healthy ego. In some professions (mine, for instance), doing something exactly right is critical because it affects someone's life and livelihood. Excessive perfectionism, however, (say for instance, insisting the folds in the draperies of the living room windows be spaced exactly even and symmetrical) is a problem. Insisting on absolute perfection for yourself and others is a control issue, and one I continue to struggle with. Luckily, with time, I've learned to lighten up and laugh at myself when I get overwrought over some piddly mistake at work. My ever-tolerant (normal) husband listens to me rant at least once a week about this stupid co-worker or that moronic administrator, and on some days, even such-n-such idiot client, but once the rant is over, it's over, and I go back to work the next day and fix the problem if I can. Now, whether any of this helps you out, Kim, I don't know, but thanks for letting me share.


Member: LisaM
Location: FL
Remote Name: 24.52.42.253
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 10:42 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone I am an alcoholic. Its beena on-going battle admitting that to myself before. I have been posting to this site off and on for about a year and a half. I finally give in, I am an alcoholic. There are no tricks, it isn't the people you are around, wether partiers or just small time drinkers you will not maintain someone else's level, there are no rules, if you don't drink for awhile, then you go back to it, you will not be where you were when you first drank, you will never be incontrol. As soon as I drink again, I know I might be okay that first time, or I might not, the second time could turn into an all night binge or a few drinks with my boyfriend before bed. I don't know anymore, I am not scared of it now, I just accept it, well so far I have, I can not drink. I finally hit my low point. I finally had someone in my life who loved me with all of my flaws and I let him down, I don't know why it took loosing him to see what a disgusting personI have become but it did. I wonder if I will ever have that closeness with him again. For now I don't even want men in my life. I don't want them around, really I don't want anyone around. I have been eating alot. Its wierd. I sit and eat and watch tv, eat and eat. I am not whole and I don't know what to do with myself anymore.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 68.158.167.89
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 11:09 AM -0500

Comments

Hi Family Charlie Darling a very grateful recovering alcholic. The topics are good, aand especially Lisa, I suggest that you get to a meeting and talk to a sponsor. I know what you are going through for I was there. When I went into detox it was hard for We were almost always together, and I thought I would lose the person I loved so much, but I wanted to get myself well maybe not better, and I just let go, and what ever happened, happened because I didn't try to control the situation. But after 7 years into my recovery now, my relationship only got better, for my partner now understands me, and I him we also give each other thier proper space. We both have grown so much these past few years, and I never thought I would be spending the rest of my life with him, and we will be celebrating 26 yrs in August. Just keep working the steps, and go to meetings, talk to your sponsor, and pray the PROMISES will come true, maybe not all at once. But good things happen to us in recovery. Life is always a changing day, and for that I am truly blessed to be able to enjoy, and watch life get better. I Love you all. Sorry I just wanted to speil off. Peace and Love, Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com


Member: Martha P
Location: Virginia
Remote Name: 207.69.139.136
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 12:23 PM -0500

Comments

Hi all, I'm Martha and I'm an alcoholic. I am full of isms, they too drive me nuts. I think that if anything bothers me enough, then it is not your problem, but mine. These are good things to put down in my 4th step, which I am once again reluctantly working on. As to Lisa, many including myself have been right where you are. I agree that you should get to a meeting. I never thought I would be on-lining this, but with 2 year old twins a full time job and little leftover time I am sadly not making it to many live meetings anymore. Meetings are the best, and I think that your HP will be there with you to tell you what you need to hear, if you can sit still and listen. I feel your pain! Back to isms; I am living with my mother, husband, and children while we are having a house built; at least until September. We were in a great deal of debt and sold our house to get out of it. Now we are saving up for our new house while mom foots most of the bills. I am grateful for my mother's support, but can truly see my ISMS all over the place, amplified by my mother's presence. I am going insane, hmmm. going? well whatever. I feel that everything happens for a reason and that HP is showing me what I will become if I don't see my defects of character now, but it is had and I feel scared, angry, frustrated, tired, alone, and everything else all the time. Well, that's it for me and thanks for letting me share. PS: I am sorry in advance for the misspellings Kim, I can relate to your isms too.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Northern CA
Remote Name: 66.81.50.170
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 04:53 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Everyone - ((Kim))) Great topic, ISMs. I have heard several things over the years associated to the initials I.S.M. all together; such as - "When I'm deep into my ISM, I am into... I, Self & Me; (or) being Insanely Sado-Masochistic; Idiotic, Selfish & Mean; and on and on the list could grow, just depending on how creative you wanna get. :) Perfectionism - yeah, if we could only make the world run perfectly smooth, by keeping every piece of it in place, life would be a piece of cake. I learned I had to be careful what I prayed for, the hard way. I got everything I ever wanted, and then 3 months later, I got hurt in a freak accident and can't enjoy half of what I have at my disposal! Every activity I undertake anymore is usually cut way short because I have to take periodic rests, or suffer huge amounts of pain and fatigue whenever I overdo it. A few other ISMs that bite us alkies, whether still drinking or sober, are denialism aka avoidism, justificationism, one-upmanship-ism aka big-shot-ism, procrastinationism, hurry-up and waitism, driving like a lunaticism, indulging in self-pityism, and that list could be never-ending, too. The all-time worst would have to be the never having the honest desire or willingness to change-ism. I've seen that one in myself sometimes over the years, I have to admit. A lot of it has to do with fear. Oh, yeah - staying stuck behind fearism. That's a good one! Thanks for letting me share - even if it did seem to be a little bit of sillyism to some of you :)


Member: O.B.
Location: Austin
Remote Name: 63.246.170.233
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 06:09 PM -0500

Comments

Aughhh! Martha P, how do you do it?! I moved back in with my mother when I got sober because the place I was living in was sort of dangerous for a sober person (drugs and stuff), but I'm not quite sure if my mother's place might have been any safer. Oh, by the way, OB, alcoholic and stuff. I have had a terrible week with codependency-ism, or can't let go-ism, or whatever you want to call it. What a lesson. I live alone now, and I like it a lot. I especially like being away from my family, but every now and then I get asked by my mother for a favor. In this case she wanted me to house sit for her. She's got three dogs (one in heat) and four cats, so this is not a fun thing to undertake. My sister is acting out right now, doing things I DON'T APPROVE OF, but to be honest and logical, it's none of my business. It takes everything I have to not freak out and start telling everybody how screwed up they are when I'm over there! I realize this stuff probably belongs in an alanon meeting, but thanks for listening anyways. The funny thing is that I never really had much of these feelings (that I can remember anyways) until I got sober. I hope everybody has a great week.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.231.160.24
Date: 28 Mar 2004
Time: 07:38 PM -0500

Comments

HI. Bill here Alcoholic from Arizona. I was taught the ISM's where returning to our old ideas. Getting back into the self, selfish and self centered behaviors listed some 20 times or so just after (c) God could and would if He were sought. I have run into several over the years that were "grumpy" but not drinking. I don't get into semantics... If you are not drinking you are sober. Sober means not drunk. I leave the shrink stuff to the shrinks. It is possible to be a sober "horse thief" I have met many. Some stay and some go back out. That is their business. If they want to come back and get sober then it becomes our business. The key reason for getting back into self and thus into the ISM's is usually because we fail to enlarge our spiritual life. It is no more complicated than that. Thanks for being a part of my sobriety today. Love ya, Bill


Member: Paul C
Location: Philadelphia
Remote Name: 68.81.77.135
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 01:31 AM -0500

Comments

My name is Paul and im an alcoholic. This is my first time at this meeting, the first time at any online venue for that matter. I have been sober for over thirty days now ( i try not to really count days) and its not getting any easier! I know its takes time and that the addiction never goes away, in fact I heard a man share at a meeting the other day and make the comment that he felt like a pickle, never to be a cucumber again. i thought that summed it up pretty well. any way, i think whats really bothering me now is not really the desire to drink but the desire to go out and do the things that I used to do while i drank, being social basically. I have my meetings and my out patient rehab program to go to all the time, but ther are some nights that i just want to go out and see who's around and meet new people like i used to. Im just turning twenty three years old and besides the drinking aspect of it, Im not tired of the whole bar scene yet. im not saying that I have reservations or anything, im just bored I guess.... Well thats pretty much what I got for my first time sharing online, (It takes alot longer to type this than it would to say it at a real meeting) thank you for letting me be a part of this discussion group, I feel that this is going to help me alot but in a different sort of way. Thanx again


Member: Pat S
Location: toronto
Remote Name: 66.185.85.76
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 02:07 AM -0500

Comments

hi friends i am Pat and a gratefull member of the tuesday night discussion group here in toronto.You no life surely does have its challenges and some times even people who have years of sobriety have struggles. Even they make mistakes we are not saints. There are times that we learn from each other in all aspects of recovery. I often here the new comer is the most important person in the rooms. Personally i deagree the most important person is the one haveing the struggles at that moment. Sobriety is a wonderful growing experience and not anyone i've meet in the rooms will be ordanied a saint we are just people trying to be better spiritual beings today then we were yesterday God has are destiny in his hands he shows me love so i can mirror love. So if no one told you today I LOVE YOU ALL MY GOD BLESS YOU ALL AND KEEP YOU SAFE AS WE TRUDGE THE ROAD TO HAPPY DESTINY.


Member: Jenn A.
Location: Oak Harbor, Wa
Remote Name: 4.41.15.233
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 02:15 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, Jenn alcoholic, perfection is something I only work on at work. When I get home I dont want to do any thing but sleep. I have two jobs so I work 60 hrs a week. It would be nice to have time to clean house do laundry.. you know the basics. So my house is a mess until I give up on a cuple hrs of sleep and do that stuff. I also go to live meetins witch I could not give up and out paitent weekly meeting. Well thanks for letting me vent. Have a great week.


Member: Annie M
Location: Bloomsburg, PA
Remote Name: 66.33.230.90
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 03:11 AM -0500

Comments

Hi all, Annie, alcoholic here. I remember that pull to go see what's happening. I didn't drive by my favorite bar for a year. I didn't trust myself to not go in. One of the great things about where I got sober was that there were meetings after meetings we used to call them. A bunch of us would go out for pizza after the meeting and talk. Actually, I just sat there and spaced out. I was pretty fried when I got to AA, as most. But somehow just being around sober people outside of meetings really helped. I was also told to volunteer. If I couldn't do anything else than I should clean the ashtrays. So I did. It's funny to me now how proud I felt about cleaning those ashtrays, especially since I didn't smoke. Then I was volunteered into making the coffee. Again, I didn't drink coffee. It was a great thing because people always knew the coffee maker. So everyone would walk in and say hi. There's a difference between being around AA and being in AA. Getting involved helped make me feel like a part of. Thanks for letting me share. Be well!


Member: Deb B
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 68.21.149.229
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 08:08 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, I am Deb alcoholic. There is a guy at my ftf meeting who always says, "I have a disease called alcohol-ISM not WASM." I need to hear that reminder. If I stay away from meetings, my AA reading or my conscious contact with my HP, I start to digress. Am I really an alcoholic, was my drinking/using that bad, on and on and on. That is a dangerous mind games to play. I need to stay involved in the program or I will experience more of the active part of the disease. For today,if I don't drink or use then I won't trigger the allergy. However, that part of the disease that deals with the mental obsession is on ongoing condition. It is only by appling the 12 steps, I am able to keep it at bay. I am very grateful that I have a new way of dealing with life, through the 12 steps, instead of old behavior of numbing myself with drink and drug. Thanks for letting me share


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 216.148.244.38
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 09:25 AM -0500

Comments

Craig L here another “real alcoholic” (page 21). Alcoholism means I have a 3-part disease physical, mental and spiritual. When I don’t drink the physical part is in remission on a daily basis, but the mental and spiritual aspects also require daily maintenance. I have found my obsessive behaviors continue until they become painful enough that, finally remember to ask God for help, but I did not have a conscious contact with God until I learned to practice all the steps. It is thanks to ALL of you and the 12 steps that I can continue to stay sober and work on the character defects, which keep me from Peace. Early on when I was obsessing about things, I stayed sober, carried the message of recovery and tried to remind myself “Easy Does It”.


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 10:14 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone...Adam, alcoholic. AZbill, thank you for mentioning the "sober horse theives" you know in AA. It's so important for me to hear about them, because I know the -ism's for me are really about my behavior when I WASN'T drinking. When I was drunk, I just sat there and got drunk 'till I threw up or passed out. However, when I was not drunk, that's when I did the things I am most ashamed of...lying, fighting, stealing, manipulating other people, pushing my family and friends away with a lot of really inappropriate behavior, etc. The thing that really baffled me is hat I couldn't and didn't know how to NOT be that way; it seemed I had even less control over that kindof behavior than I did over how much I would drink when I started. Just goes to show you that alcohol is but a symptom of a larger problem, and with AA's guidance and the steps, I am able to behave differently sober. Thanks for letting me share. . The Big Book tralks about how the main problem of the alcoholic centers in the mind, and I know that's how it is with me.


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 11:15 AM -0500

Comments

P.S. ISM = I Sponsor Myself


Member: AndyD
Location: Detroit
Remote Name: 68.41.155.151
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 09:00 PM -0500

Comments

Hey all, interesting topic here. Myself, I believe that perfectionism is a battle that we must fight as recovering alcoholics. If we don't strive for perfection, then the disease is bound to win sooner or later. With that in mind, striving for perfection in everything will only lead to disappointment...which is the trigger for depression and drinking for a lot of us. I think that letting things in your life be good but not perfect and concentrating on perfection in your plan for sobriety will lead to happier days. As for Lisa, congrats on getting this far. I can only tell you that I am lucky enough to have a significant other who has seen me through all of my problems. Things in our relationship have only gotten better as a result of our sobriety. Hang in there and things will improve for you too. -Andy


Member: Peggy E
Location: Salem, Oregon
Remote Name: 67.164.52.96
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 09:03 PM -0500

Comments

Hi! I'm Peggy. I'm an alcoholic. ISM = "I, Self, Me." When I am only in I, Self, Me - I am in trouble. The 3rd Step prayer says "relieve me of bondage of self..." I want my hand of AA to be there for the suffering alcoholic. Thanks! Yippppeeeeeeeee another day sober!


Member: Deb C
Location: Las Vegas
Remote Name: 68.229.52.99
Date: 29 Mar 2004
Time: 11:16 PM -0500

Comments

Hello....Just checking to see if Chris H. from Colorado is still around?


Member: Jen B.
Location: West Coast
Remote Name: 4.60.113.84
Date: 30 Mar 2004
Time: 12:33 AM -0500

Comments

Hi all, Jen, alcoholic. LOL @ ISM = I Sponsor Myself. Dang, that's apt. I think of the "ism" as my character defects running rampant. My ism can be different than yours, though we certainly have aspects in common. Impending doom, free floating anxiety, procrastination and justification are some of my more troublesome defects. When I find myself in a spiritually trying place, as I am now, those isms make my head a reckless and exhausting place to be. My sponsor tells me that the first step is always awareness and at 3 years, I am finally aware a little earlier in the process. I only need to spin for a short time before I realize that I'm miserable and not using the tools I've been given. In that tiny part of my ism, I'm seeing some progress. I will still be anxious and frantic first, but it doesn't have to run me for weeks before I break down and ask HP for help. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: kelly h
Location: nj
Remote Name: 151.204.197.71
Date: 30 Mar 2004
Time: 05:41 PM -0500

Comments

welcome paul from philly..we must have been at the ame meeting..or maybe somene just said it at my meeting too but i heard that last week too...anyway this week on wed i am supposed to get up there and tell my story for the first time...i have 91 days today by the grace of god!,and i am nervous as for an ism i can have almost anyone ya pick i guess we all can but the weird thing is now i can feel the ism and recognize them for what they are..and try to identify with it and ask myself why are you feeling acting this way and correct if i were drunk i just wouldnt care........


Member: Lise
Location: Alberta
Remote Name: 24.71.223.142
Date: 30 Mar 2004
Time: 09:24 PM -0500

Comments

Hi, this is the first time that I have posted on this site, so hello to everyone. Perfectionism for me is a very dangerous place to be as it has the potential to lead to controloholism, which in the past has led me right back to the bottle. I used to have the attitude that I'd let AA take care of the drinking problem and I would take care of everything else, to my liking and to my standards, which were very high. I'd go, go, go taking care of everything, improving on everything and getting really resentful towards those that didn't have as high as standards as myself. It was always a matter of time before I would get pissed off, get the attitude of I'll show you and I'd go on a major binge, just screw eveything up and show everyone that they need to do things my way or else. I have found that I need balance in my life and balance is not something that you find, it is something that you learn, by asking for help, saying no, and putting your sobriety first. Peace to everyone.


Member: kelly h
Location: nj
Remote Name: 151.204.197.71
Date: 31 Mar 2004
Time: 07:17 AM -0500

Comments

hey kelly alkie here just thougth about kim's question again ism?? 1 word alcolholism


Member: Jim D
Location: Fl
Remote Name: 24.28.47.16
Date: 31 Mar 2004
Time: 11:11 AM -0500

Comments

Paul C. in Philly, If you are near Media, Pa. there are some great meetings there. That's where I got sober, I haven't been there in a few years but if you get a chance check out the meetings.


Member: Stephen C
Location: North Stratford,N.H.
Remote Name: 64.91.163.172
Date: 31 Mar 2004
Time: 06:00 PM -0500

Comments

(friendship)-hi everyone,well its me steve and all my loveable friends have left me and i havent heard from anyone of them and ive been sick in the bed with this flu and also havent been to a meeting and so i feel like my ass is on fire ,also im on the hotline now and so i dont get very much sleep again but i love doing this hotline and so hope to here from all of you again and so you can reach me two ways here they are fruitbomber20027@hotmail.com and the another is germgrabber2000@yahoo.com and----------1-603-922-3373 and hope to here from all and lots of love to the old friends and hope to make new one and remember anytime the hand of A.A is needed for that Im responisable and im here for you..stephen.and when you think your day is going really wonderful,look at the sky and it only good as you make it.


Member: Serenity
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 207.177.76.187
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 10:42 AM -0500

Comments

ISM....I'm Still Missing! God Bless!


Member: Desdimonah
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 68.218.199.60
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 10:54 AM -0500

Comments

My personal ISM - I Sabotage Myself.


Member: Pi Montz
Location: Ohio
Remote Name: 66.213.25.6
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 01:05 PM -0500

Comments

ISMS, like alcoholism, drug addictionism? xenophobianism, are they the same?


Member: KimM
Location: Pompano Beach, FL
Remote Name: 64.118.240.97
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 03:57 PM -0500

Comments

Sorry for the double dip, but I want to thank ya'll so much for the input on the discussion topic for this week. I have written done the words to the ISM. And then I will remember them when the ISM hits again.


Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 205.188.117.14
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 07:53 PM -0500

Comments

Hi gang, a bit late getting to the meweting HI GANG,A BIT LATE GETTING TO THE MEETING THIS WEEK.DEB STOLE THE WORDS OUT OF MY MOUTH. IT GETS BETTER, SOBRIETY TAKES TIME. THANKS, JOE B


Member: Les
Location: San Diego
Remote Name: 198.81.26.103
Date: 01 Apr 2004
Time: 11:28 PM -0500

Comments

Lise, good to see you here. Thanks for the insightful share. Paul C., welcome to you. You might try learning something new -- fly an airplane, take up skating, learn to knit, play a musical instrument, stuff like that. Cripes, now you see there I'm giving advice. Is that an -ism?


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West FL
Remote Name: 66.156.217.31
Date: 02 Apr 2004
Time: 07:05 AM -0500

Comments

ISM I Self Me Peace and Love,Charlie kwduke_1999@yahoo.com


Member: Bobbie
Location: Port Hueneme CA
Remote Name: 192.85.47.1
Date: 02 Apr 2004
Time: 08:42 PM -0500

Comments

Greetings everyone, I am Bobbie, an Alchoholic. Thank you all for sharing on this great topic. 21 years ago I was arrested on a DUI, with my children in the car. With the no-contest plead the other charges were dropped. To this day I have not forgiven myself and have hid my secret from normies. I have a record now...you see...I will never have a clean (perfect) record no matter how long I am sober. (ego..ego..ego) I have been sober for 16 1/2 years but am not regularly attending meetings since my move here. People have used my past against me in a grandchild's social services battle. My son seems to be following my bad example. Breaks my heart. Sadness and guilt. Has anyone got any suggestion on how to address this? My sponsor is back in my home town and I although we have worked on this I can't seem to get rid of the desire to be perfect with the knowledge I never will be. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: jimh
Location: spokane
Remote Name: 198.81.26.103
Date: 02 Apr 2004
Time: 11:50 PM -0500

Comments

HI I AM JIM. MY VERY FIRST TIME. ALOT OF GREAT INFO, AM WILLING TO LEARN LOTS MORE. ENJOY LIFE.


Member: PappyPaw
Location: Sourt Central Mi
Remote Name: 66.231.36.220
Date: 03 Apr 2004
Time: 09:38 AM -0500

Comments

Howdy All I am PappyPaw and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. This "ISMS" is a great subject. A pound of cure is worth a ton of recovery. One cannot have it both ways, one is wet, sober or one is just dry ("Put the plug in the Jug" bit)which is dangerous because we use the same behavior when we are just dry as we did when we drank and this is where we get deeper on into our troubled ways. Dry is good but we must keep on the move on seeking spiritual recovery or like the shark we will drown in our own environment. Myself I am so dry I am a "Fire Hazard" but I come to the "Well" The Staying Cyber "Spiritual Well" where thousands of caring friends take time to listen to me. Even though I offer only a most meger gift in a most crude fashion, I am accepted, listened to, loved, respected and I am generously presented with heaps of "spirituals gifts" to paint my heart warm and give me the strength, love and guidence I need for this day. I am really in the right place this day. Thankyou all for your gifts. PappyPaw


Member: CODY D
Location: Enumclaw, WA
Remote Name: 63.228.105.95
Date: 03 Apr 2004
Time: 12:31 PM -0500

Comments

My name is Cody and I'm an alcoholic. I believe that dealing with my ISM's is going to determine whether or not I live a happy,joyous,and free life. I know that just quitting drinking and using,though I am extremely grateful for it, has not been enough to keep me sane. I find that when I am conscious of my defects of character and have a genuine desire to have them removed, my higher power works in my life in ways that maybe wouldn't have been possible, had I only stopped using.


Member: ymon33
Location: Houston
Remote Name: 204.235.231.48
Date: 03 Apr 2004
Time: 06:25 PM -0500

Comments

To Lisa M: I can relate to this point you're at in life. My husband and I are alcoholic-addicts and he just told me he wants to seperate after 5 years. I was hurting and I posted and did not necessarily get any feedback... So first, I can say I know what you mean about the not feeling whole with the relationship ending. I had a spiritual breakthrough though after the seperation announcement. I realized the part I played in damaging the relationship, I do not have to play that part anymore. WHEW! I mean I actually woke up the next morning with a heart full of hope. Second, and know THIS: If through this sober learning we- you and me both- are doing, if the only ones believing in you are you and your Higher Power (God for me) THAT'S ENOUGH. And please remember, 1 day. Yesterday is gone, and Tomorrow isn't here yet. You go girl. We are making it through this already. ymon33@hotmail.com


Member: Marc P.
Location: Moss Landing
Remote Name: 198.189.27.95
Date: 04 Apr 2004
Time: 12:22 PM -0400

Comments

Morning, I'm marc, and and Alcoholic. I am out to sea right now on my research vessel in Monterey bay. I can be grateful for the beauty around me today, that has not always been so. I have just completed my fourth step (again) more will be revealed. It was damn difficult looking back at all that crap, but I did something different this time, I also looked at my qualities as well as defects. I was sober for 12 years and never understood what the 4th step was really about, giving our shortcomings over to GOD, and also recognizing that I have good qualities. I trust that God will help me remove my defects just as I know he will help me stay sober today. Really nice! Now on to step 5, w/ my sponsor once we get back to the dock. have a great day everyone.