Member: Rich R
Location: Detroit
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 8:08:53 AM

Comments

topic?

the fellowship of AA.

thanks


Member: Sam
Location:
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 9:13:43 AM

Comments

I am sure that there are people out there reading the posts at this site who have not been to a F2F meeting. People who are at the beginning of their journey. Perhaps people could share how a meeting works and therefore how the fellowship is developed. It takes a lot to walk into that room the first time. What was your first meeting like?


Member: Ken
Location:
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:09:59 AM

Comments

Sam, there are DEFINITELY people who fall into the category you describe. Believe me when I say this is an inspired topic.


Member: susan l
Location: vt
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:12:35 AM

Comments

how do www meetings compare to person to person meetings with regard to successful recovery? has anyone looked at this objectively? am new to this (aa).


Member: Stave K          
Location: Bethel N.Y.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:14:53 AM

Comments

The firts meeting I attended I was nervous at the start. Then I was amazed at how many people had the same problem I had. I then knew I was in the right place and felt more comfortable, and started to participate more as time went on. Now I enjoy meetings and made many friends and have great suport. You have to stick with it and make it part of your life.


Member: Gail G
Location: CO
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:19:04 AM

Comments

I have never been to a physical meeting and I'm still waiting for my AA Big Book to come in the mail, but I can tell you one thing:

It's making my head spin, all the new concepts I'm learning here. They're wonderful. And I wouldn't have thought of them in a million years while I was drinking. Thank you all.

Like praying for those who wrong me instead of resenting them. It's like the weight of the world has been lifted off my shoulders with just that one concept!

I am so glad I found this site and all of you people who gather here. God bless.

Gail G 9 days Long live the WWW


Member: Ken
Location:
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:26:41 AM

Comments

Forgive me for posting twice in 15 minutes, but I find this to be an important quiestion related to the topic.

How does one SELECT a F2F meeting? I mean, other than location and time, what did you look for or what did you need in a meeting? There are meetings all over this city, and there have got to be differences in the ways they are run, etc. What makes a GOOD meeting group? The reason I ask is that I was browsing the Coffee Pot board and saw a post about a group where someone new was apparently spurned and asked to leave because she didn't want to share. I don't THINK this is the way they're all run (?)

So I ask again: what did you look for or what did you need in a F2F meeting? Or for that matter, is this cyber meeting enough for some beginners?

Thanks for any response.


Member: Dan D.
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:30:38 AM

Comments

I'm Dan and I am an alcoholic.Funny this topic was raised.This is my second on line meeting.What do members find pro and con about www. meetings? Since Iam new to this format but not to recovery I would have to believe that face to face contact is indespensible but any contact is valuble.I go to a home group full of walking miracles.Ex-cons, skidrow, institutions of every kind, wrecked homes, the unemployable, myself among the worst.I thank God that I am able to witness first hand what A.A.has done for all of us.So what I am sating is that I could'nt see giving up in person meetings for www. but I am curious as to how other members deal with this.Thank you for being here.Also any other online meeting sites you may know about would be helpful.


Member: Dan D.
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:30:58 AM

Comments

I'm Dan and I am an alcoholic.Funny this topic was raised.This is my second on line meeting.What do members find pro and con about www. meetings? Since Iam new to this format but not to recovery I would have to believe that face to face contact is indespensible but any contact is valuble.I go to a home group full of walking miracles.Ex-cons, skidrow, institutions of every kind, wrecked homes, the unemployable, myself among the worst.I thank God that I am able to witness first hand what A.A.has done for all of us.So what I am sating is that I could'nt see giving up in person meetings for www. but I am curious as to how other members deal with this.Thank you for being here.Also any other online meeting sites you may know about would be helpful.


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:37:53 AM

Comments

This topic is dear to me. My fear of the first meeting melted within minutes of getting inside those feared doors. Having been the "loner" for most of life, even though married multiple times, it was so different to be accepted as "one of" nearly immediately. Between the first meeting and the second, a week's span of time, I had read the Twelve and Twelve and the big book. To this day, I remember that this read was a two boxes of kleenex read. Just how did they get all those stories about "ME"? Boy did I identify with all the characters! Well, the fellowship shown by other members of AA was my higher power at first, and my level of thankfulness and gratitude I believe shows today. Not to say life has been all that easy sober. Another divorce and the loss of a job I had for twenty five years came shortly before five years. Were it not for the tools taught me by AA, I would be dead by now. These were crippling blows.

Today I look forward to the six year mark, the twenty third of this month. Am I a different person? Well, I don't repeat myself constantly, and slur my words. I also don't find myself looking at everything in a negative light.

Thank you AA, Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Lisa H
Location: Colorado Springs, Co
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 11:09:52 AM

Comments

Hello I am Lisa, alcoholic. Face to Face meetings are no comparision to cyber meetings. I know because I have tried working a program both ways Interaction is a big key to help heal and understand the love miracles and joy that this program have brought myself and countless others. There is something that happens when sitting in a room of others who are just like you and understand you that the www will never be able to achieve. advice and reading will only take you so far but hope that you see and experience in the rooms and love for one another and this program has saved me and that is where I need to be and that is where we are all needed in the rooms of AA for all to share in this joy. I love this program for the life it has given me but my life is not important enough to take me away from what gave me this life.


Member: HOLLY W      
Location: EUROPE
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 11:10:04 AM

Comments

This is my first on-line meeting. I have been tring to quit drinking for a long time. I only drink on certain weekends but when I do its to excess. I know that I can't drink at all and am tired of going places where people are heavily drinking. I get anxious just trying to think of an excuse not to and so I get drunk also. Ive read the Big Book and also read 24hours a day-a daily journey. I hope this will give me the support and ecouragement I need.


Member: NEW A.A. MEETING
Location: POCONOS PA.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 12:01:13 PM

Comments

A new A.A. meeting will get underway mid april in the pocono area in pennsylvania.This will be a 90 minute open literature meeting.he literature used will include the Big Book, The Bible along with other readings our founders used to RECOVER from alcoholism. We will open and close this meeting in the same manner as our founders did their meetings. The purpose of this meeting is to grow in our understanding of how A.A. came to be, and why they were up 93% success then as to todays success rate of possibly 10%. If you are interested in more information on what is sure to be a great learning experience leave your name,mailing address and if you like your phone and/or e addy at: whyitworked@yahoo.com


Member: Bonny  G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 12:13:40 PM

Comments

Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic. Thanks Rich for the topic on the fellowship of AA. Yes I was terrified at my first meeting. The group I went to had a policy of taking all the newcomers into a separate room for their first meeting. At the time I went to this group, a new group was in the making, and splitting off from this group. My sponsor at that time encouraged me to visit the new group. This new group wanted to learn more about the Big Book and the 12&12. On Monday nights we went around the room reading the 12&12 and discussing what was being read. I love Step Study Meetings, this to me is where the backbone of our fellowship is learn- ed. Discussion Meetings are fine, but at some point, and this is my opinion only, the elders seem to push their opinions out to the group. I am a member of a home group that has a Step Study Meeting and a Discussion Meeting once a week. There are other meetings close by that have a variety of meetings also. I personally think that you should attend face to face meetings even if you do come out on the web. I like the website here because it is a great break in my week, since our group's meetings are on Mondays and Fridays. Thanks for allowing me to share.


Member: JANICE P.
Location: ILLINOIS
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 12:44:21 PM

Comments

JANICE, ALCOHOLIC AND HAPPY TO BE SO. I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO EXPECT AT MY FIRST AA MEETING. AT FIRST I WAS ANGRY AND RESENTFUL..WHAT DID I HAVE IN COMMON WITH YOU PEOPLE? I CAN HANDLE THIS.....BOY, WAS I WRONG. PEOPLE TOLD ME TO LISTEN AND KEEP AN OPEN MIND, WHICH WAS HARD BECAUSE I LIKE TO RUN THE SHOW. WELL, I LISTENED, AND I WAS AMAZED. TOTAL STRANGERS ACTUALLY CARED ABOUT ME, AND GAVE ME HUGS AND SMILES. EVEN THOUGH OUR STORIES WERE DIFFERENT, EMOTIONALLY AND SPIRITUALLY WE HAD GONE THROUGH THE SAME THING. EVEN THOUGH I DON'T KNOW EVERYONE IN A MEETING, THERE IS A CLOSENESS AND UNDERSTANDING THERE. MY HIGHER POWER IS WORKING THROUGH ALL OF YOU. NOW IF I DON'T GO TO A MEETING FOR A FEW DAYS, I MISS EVERYONE. GOD BLESS, JANICE


Member: John H
Location: Indiana, USA
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 1:58:53 PM

Comments

Online meetings are great as a supplement to regular group meetings,but will not replace the regular meetings, where one can see first hand the joy of those who are working the program and/or the despair of the new comer.

The first regular meeting I attended was a small one with about 6 males in attendance. It was a strange experience inwhich I was uncomfortable and "out of place". The only recollection I have of it is that someone commented that my sharing sounded as if I was planning to go back out. He was correct!

The second meeting was about the same. I thought the chair person was an "expert" in AA. Found out she had only a short time of sobriety.

The 3rd meeting was a large one that was confining in space with the room filled with smoke and people running back and forth for coffee. As a non-smoker and not addicted to coffee, I left early thinking that they had real needs for help. I reconciled my disappointment by going home to some beer as chasers.

It took 30 days of treatment, removed from that first drink, to get me on the road for recovery. The treatment center helped me to select three groups to attend upon release.

That was 15 1/2 years ago. During those years I have attended 3,000 or more meetings that have guided me to continuos sobriety, a day at a time, with the support of the fellowhip, a steady sponsor and the Grace of God of my understanding and faith.

The program works if one is "hungry" enough to work it. The How in How It Works is: The H is Honesty, the O is Open Mindedness, and the W is Willingness. That's what it takes.

May you have a great day of sobriety, a day at a time, ad infinitum.

Ah, yes, my name is John, a grateful recovering alcoholic.


Member: Paul R
Location: Kirkland, WA
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 2:35:03 PM

Comments

I did f2f before I found www meetings. My first f2f AA meeting was in a bar. I thought it would be a safe place. I was approached, asked my name and asked if this was my first meeting. This hand of friendship immediately took away all my fears and insecurities. As I listened to people talk, I knew I belonged. It was worth the anxiety to get in the door.

I have been going to meetings since, and I will try new meetings just to see what they a re like. If I don't like them, I find another.

As for cyberspace, this site was my first www meeting. I was more apprehensive about sharing here than in a f2f meeting. I occasionally come back to see what the topic is and share my ESH.

I belong to two online groups and keep involved with them. I also have a f2f homegroup. Between the www and f2f, I go to a lot of meetings.

I was told in AA that I only needed one meeting a week. I was also told I had to go to meeting everyday to make sure I got to the one I needed.

Thanks for my sobriety and it was good to drop in.

Paul


Member: sandy b.
Location: jersey
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 2:54:00 PM

Comments

It is a sad place the fellowship of alcoholocs anonymous. It has all but turned its back on the spirit and principles on which it was founded. I realize this is going to go over like a led ballon,but that does not make it any less truthful.The truth often is painful.One need not be a rocket scientist to see this agonizing reality,only the ability to read. Not only are thousands of people dying because of the inaccurate or misinformation they receive upon their coming to A.A.,somehow millions are staying sober following the very things that failed enough times for Bill and Bob that they felt compelled to go to great lengths to write down WHAT DID WORK. If you are naive enough to believe "IT,S A WE PROGRAM"you may also be thinking A.A. (the fellowshp) is indestructable.Bigger and better orginizations have either crumbled or have empty halls due to the very same thing that is going on at an A.A. meeting right now. All I am saying is that the fellowship has gotten so full of itself because of the amount of it,s membership,that it has come to convince itself "IT" is the solution.Never was it and though it believes it is, it is not. Again,all you have to have is the ability to read to see that this is not how I feel, or what I think IT IS THE TRUTH.


Member: Ken
Location:
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 3:22:50 PM

Comments

Okay, so what I am getting so far is, that some people are concerned that AA no longer works because it has lost its beacon, that some people think F2F AA meetings are indispensible and that this site is a good augmentation of a regular relationship with sobriety, and that some people think F2F is a preferred alternative to onweb, but either will do.... so the experience vaires with the individual. Okay.

I ask again the question from earlier, as there has been limited direct on-topic response. What did you look for or what did you need in a F2F meeting? Please refer to my earlier post for background on the question.


Member: Terry G.
Location: Phoenix AZ>
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 3:43:28 PM

Comments

Hello my friends,I'm Terry alcoholic.What was my first meeting like?I'm not sure,I dried out in the halls of A.A.Broken and confused that at 46,I was lost.I did notice a sign that said WELCOME HOME! It ment alot to me.They sugested I go to 90 meetings in 90 days,and I did what was sugested since I no longer knew what to do.These on line meetings are great,but nothing compares to face to face.When I see the eyes of a newcomer start to twinkle,with the joy that can be found in the fellowship, or to watch the longtimer go through some difficulty with grace and beauty.I then know I too can do it.How do you get to remember what it's still like out there if you don't get to see, and help a newcomer?If you dont't like a certain meeting, find a new one.HE will guide you, and no we don't have all the answers, just listen to the voice within.He will guide you!terry.g@cox.net


Member: MARK W
Location: IND.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 4:14:09 PM

Comments

mark,aalcoholic,im so glad for having this computer to get my mind out of the cutter and into recovery at any time.i just got a leg cut off and thisis great but any chance i get i love to see every one and be seen excptialy my old home groups although i can see for myself and others cyber meetings one can not be so nervous and get more out and do them alot of good. my early meetings i would always pass but really had a lot on me to get out here icant even sound nervous.also like today the first thing i wanted was a drank now recovery is.GOD BLESS!


Member: Jenn P.
Location: Poconos, PA
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 4:19:00 PM

Comments

HI Jenn here - an alcoholic who is happy, joyous, and free today as the result of this program of twelve steps, and the help and guidance of those in the fellowship who were here when I got here. I needed both, and still do. When I went to my first meeting, I tried to go away from my home because i was afraid of who would see me. Like they didn't see me falling in and out of the bar all the time!! lol Anyway, that didn't work and I ended up at a little step meeting near my home. I am so glad that I learned there was a program of twelve steps here to put in my life so that I didn't have to drink anymore and could live in my own skin comfortably. I also got involved in a Big Book meeting once a week, several speaker meetings on the weekend which helped me identify and feel part of, and a discussion meeting where I could bring up problems or questions and hear about others experience strength and hope on them. Any and all of those were helpful. The most important thing was the willingness to show up, listen, finally get a sponsor (I dragged my feet) and work the steps. I hope this has helped Ken. I tried to stay as on topic to your questions as I could. Once I had met a few people we went around together, and soon I was going to lots of meetings and enjoying it. Life gets very good today, and I still enjoy any meeting I get to. I still go to that little step meeting at my home group, a Big Book and a speaker every week usually. I see my friends there and get to give back. I also enjoy reading (and sharing on occasion) both this meeting and the step & tradition meeting here online. Thank you for letting me share.


Member: Rollie G
Location: Lennoxville.Que.Can.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 5:11:05 PM

Comments

This is my 1st time on this site for an online meeting. my 1st f2f meeting was very hard to accept. I turned back at the door 3 times before getting enough guts to walk through those doors. today i have 5 sober yrs. and have no regrets. i drank for 37yrs. at the same hotel and today I wish i would have found AA. sooner. after all the suffering i caused for my family.i happy today.I am Rollie a greateful recovering Alkie.


Member: Rollie G
Location: Lennoxville.Que.Can.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 5:11:52 PM

Comments

This is my 1st time on this site for an online meeting. my 1st f2f meeting was very hard to accept. I turned back at the door 3 times before getting enough guts to walk through those doors. today i have 5 sober yrs. and have no regrets. i drank for 37yrs. at the same hotel and today I wish i would have found AA. sooner. after all the suffering i caused for my family.i happy today.I am Rollie a greateful recovering Alkie.


Member: Tom, A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 5:20:09 PM

Comments

Good Afternoon to all who post and read on Staying Cybers discussion meeting. Tom A. here, a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this fellowship we call A.A. Thank you Rich R. for the topic. I believe the best written explanation concerning the A.A. Fellowship is found in the Preamble and I quote:

"Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other that they may solve their common problem and help others to recover from alcoholism. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. There are no dues or fees for A.A. membership, we are self-supporting throught our own contributions. A.A. is not allied with any sect, denomination, politics, organization or institution; does not wish to engage in any controversey; neither endorses nor opposes and causes. Our primary purpose is to stay sober and help other alcoholics to achieve sobriety."

Early in sobriety I was told that this is a suggested program of recovery and I am grateful for that sound advice. They told me it was the first drink and that this fellowship could show me how to stay away from taking that next first drink and it has done just that since July 25, 1960. They also told me that this fellowship would provide me with a "new way of life" and how true they were in their advice. There have been many changes in the way we conduct A.A. meetings and I believe that is a wonderful thing. A dear A.A. friend, Pete F., who died sober always told me, "that nothing can really hurt A.A. because it is GOOD." I have found that to be true also. Love and prayers from an alky who cares.

God Bless - Tom A. cte50203@centurytel.net


Member: Lessa
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 6:52:39 PM

Comments

Hello, Lessa here, grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks John, for your topic of fellowship. I had no idea what that meant when I came to AA. In "There is a Solution" chapter of the BB, it states, "We are people who normally would not mix. But there exists among us a FELLOWSHIP, a friendliness and an understanding which is indescribably wonderful." The same paragraph goes on to tell us that, "The feeling of having shared in a common peril is one element in the powerful cement that binds us."

I guess that's what the fellowship is to me - a cement that binds us. We all suffer from a common illness - alcoholism. We may have travelled different roads to get to the doors of AA, but get there we have. And for this drunk, it's the understanding, the acceptance, the caring and the sharing that keeps me coming back. I never thought, in my wildest nightmares, that I would gladly go somewhere 4 or 5 times a week and openly and honestly share some of the most shameful things I have ever done. Dig into the details of my life. And sometimes laugh about it! But it is not just the 'dumping' - it's knowing there IS an answer. And that I'm not alone in this. When I was drinking, I was sure there was nobody else in the world that thought or acted as I did. And I'm very grateful to be here.

Regarding the f2f vs online meetings, I personally participate in both. One major difference I've noticed, though, between the two: it's easy via an anonymous terminal to trash AA and the good folks who are trying, using the program, to stay sober. That kind of 'talk' would never, ever be tolerated in a 'real' meeting.

Thanks for letting me share.

lessa_e@hotmail.com


Member: secret admierer
Location:
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 7:10:27 PM

Comments

jen from the oconos if your the babe w/ the huge mellons you need a make over cause you got itt goin on but that frumpy old hag lok s gotta go when i think of you i get a bit happy


Member: Margie
Location: Long Island
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 7:20:15 PM

Comments

To ((Ken)) ...

I think what you mean is how do you know which ones work? Or are best for you? I think the best way to answer it is to just go to as many meetings as possible!!

I personally think it is essential to go to a f2f that is what keeps me from isolating, a major characteristic of drunks, and to see the acceptance in the faces, not just lip service.

It is a little daunting to see all of those different meetings, I too live in an area that has at least 20 meetings per day that I could go to. For that I am grateful.

I am assuming you are new, so I highly recommend a Beginners meeting, where newcomers are offered the choice to raise thier hand to be seen and to be congratulated on their day counts. Usually, poker chips or other tokens are given out to celebrate first 30, 60, 90, days of sobriety. I enjoyed that tremendously, because I got applause for something that I thought I was totaly alone in. I also felt very proud of myself to reach the first 30 days, and to get everyone in the meeting behind me,that really made me feel a part of.

There are many other meetings that may be different in your part of the world on how they are structured. But I would guess there is a beginners meeting where you are. If not, go to an Open Discussion meeting instead, just sit and listen, and if you feel bold enough raise your hand when the sharing begins and state that you are new to this. You will be welcomed, hopefull, and also hopefully, greated by others after the meeting. If not go to someone, eventually, if need be, who you identify with, talk with them and ask them all the questions you cannot find here.

i wish you luck... and hope I answered your question, if not, I hope it was helpful anyway.

Keep coming back..."It works if you work", and gets ALOT better!

Thanks for letting me share...Margie


Member: Steve
Location: Indiana
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 7:29:11 PM

Comments

Im Steve, an alcoholic. The fellowship of AA developed slowly for me, just like recovery. I didn't become a drunk overnight and for years there were many good times while drinking but gradually they were replaced by more bad times. I remember my first few meetings I was very curious and yet didn't stay sober. It took awhile for me to surrender to the program and my disease. But gradually I got to know people, home group, and service work which all added to my new life. Then I began to understand the power and fun of the fellowship. It has been a joy and challenge to help others and have good sponsors. Most of this has been f2f before the www was so popular but I can see where online meetings serve a good purpose for handicapped, homebound, loners who cant get to meetings, and as a good supplement for some like me. I moved a couple years ago, so it was good to see this site and other AA sites at my new home. There is even an online intergroup which can be found through doing a search for Alcoholics Anonymous (cant remember url). AA is a trip! Thanks for being here.


Member: Judith.L
Location: Melb Australia
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 7:31:42 PM

Comments

Hi,

Yes, great topic.

Judith Clean and sober another day. Ya!!! I still find it hard to walk in the doors some times but that's just my EGO.........And thanks to AA I can recognise this most times and just walk in anyway.

MEETINGS MEETINGS MEETINGS , thank god for them they saved my life. You can't beat meeting other recovering addicts and Alcoholics. You get to see them change on a weekly basis. And when I recognise others changing I start to see it in myself. And at meetings people get to tell me how I have changed or that I am looking stressed, or sad or unhappy etc etc. I get what I call my MIRRORS!!!! If I did not get my MIRRORS (F2F) then i would be back in ISOLATION and back to not knowing who I AM.!!! F2F meetings helps my sobriety.

God bless you all.

Hey what does LOL mean (is is Lots of LOVE????))

Happy to be an AA memeber and grateful to you all.

Love and Rainbows, Judith


Member: Bud S.
Location: Northern Ontario, Canada
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 8:02:36 PM

Comments

Thanks for the meetings topic. My humble opinion is that F2F meetings are necessary but online meetings fill the bill to some extent. For example, in my town there are only 2 meetings per week and even with 29 years sobriety, I find I want more; therefore, the online meetings help. Online allows me to meet more people with the same disease and problems as I have in addition to the regulars at our f2f meetings which are quite small. As to the types of meetings, there are different types for your choosing. Open, closed, discussion are some. Groups that do not follow the 12 Traditions should, in my opinion again, be avoided. For the same reason that we attend f2f meetings, that is sobriety, the groups are responsible to adhere to their principles which are the 12 Traditions. Our common welfare must come first and groups must do what they are intended to do, no less. Those of you who are lucky enough to be able to choose your meetings can do it just like shopping. Look for the best one that you feel comfortable with and get involved. As someone already said, the online post meetings, like this one, often invites the kooks who have nothing to do with AA but do it to feed their feeble minds. In addition to this type of post meetings, there are online meetings that are carried out exactly like the f2f meetings. Another thing about online meetings like this the personal contact is missing as nothing can replace a human hug or smile. To newcomers especially, good luck, God Bless and may the gift of sobriety come to you as it has to me.


Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 8:21:50 PM

Comments

I think as far as f2f mtg`s are concerned, what i need in the mtg`s are members who work the steps & follow the traditions. This i know from 1st hand my old home group did`nt follow the traditions like we should our group got watered down no one wanted to attend the group consious meetings to work out group problems or shair in group task`s. It ended like this "you take care of it we trust you" this is a WE program not a ME program. As time went on the people quit coming, new ones did too, the attraction was not there. From this group came a learned experience "WE MUST STICK TOGETHER OR SURELY WE DIE ALONE, DRUNK". From all the original members maybe 20, only 3 or 4 i think are still sober, me included. The trouble with this is i watched it happen & could not do anything about it.I tried, i hated to watch it happen. One day at a super market i ran into one of the "3or4" "what happened to the pathfinder group no one was there last nite", "sure needed a meeting last nite" i replied "they closed". Since those days i have attened others but not like my "old home group" when we were strong. I say follow the tradition`s or AA will fold "F2F or WWW" we can`t stray or surely we die. As for today i come here & there. Thank you.


Member: susan l
Location: vermont
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 9:22:27 PM

Comments

i want to stop drinking and know that my best chance at attaining/maintaining sobriety is if i get help via aa or therapy of some sort for at least 90 days. i can't relate to the higher power/spiritual thing however. would love to hear from others re: experience in aa despite a belief system unsupportive of the higher power thing. thanks


Member: Dianne B
Location: Small town in Alaska
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 10:11:29 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Dianne, and I'm an alcoholic. I really need this meeting. I moved to a new town and find the meetings here not as welcoming as the ones where I came from. I have had a hard time attending, have only attended 6 or so since I have got here, last May. I know this is not good, I've been sober since Oct. 1982, but that does not make it easier for me to go to these meetings here. Okay, I know what you old timers are going to say, "You have to go to the meeting until you want to go to the meetings". And of course you are right, again. I realized a few weeks ago at a meeting that it is just another form of denial my disease has taken on, trying to fool me into thinking I don't have a disease. It would like nothing more than to see me dead drunk, and then just dead.

This is my first www meeting and I'm not sure what to expect but I will check in from time to time this week to see how it progresses.

Back to the subject, what was my first meeting like? Wow, what a mind blower. Of course I was very nervous and not knowing what to expect, (not unlike now) I went with my alcohol counselor from a community mental health center. I was willing to meet her and go to the meeting because I didn't know what else to do, my whole life was falling down aroud me. I think I have never felt more desolate as we walked up that long, long flight of stairs. I distinctly remember thinking, "Look what you have gotten yourself into now, going to an AA meeting, there is nothing lower than this". My counselor was standing around the coffee pot talking to some friends and I walked over to the table and sat down alone. I had become completely agnostic over the last five years of my drinking. A few weeks before I had whispered "God, if there is a God, please help me". As I sat there feeling so isolated and alone I looked up on the wall and I saw a sign. On it were praying hands and words that said, expect a miracle. Tears came to my eyes and I couldn't tell you why then, and I still can't today. I just know that for me it was the beginning of my miracle. I believe AA can be the miracle for any who have the willingness to keep trying to be honest with themselves, and who are willing to keep coming back. Yeah, I heard those words, and okay you old timers, I will keep coming back. I like what I have been given here too much to treat it lightly. Thanks for being here. Love in the fellowship. Dianne


Member: Grea
Location: In
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 11:02:14 PM

Comments

Hi G an alcoholic and very grateful for AA. When I went to my first AA meeting I was looking for an answer to my disease but had no idea what I was looking for. So I tried it one day at a time like the group taught me. There was a friendship there between these people they had fun and laughter and there was nothing but coffee to drink. I wanted all of what I seen and I wanted to go to the lengths to get it. Today I work the program of AA one day at a time and for you Susan 90 program try one day at a time break it down if you have to seconds and minutes. Just for the moment I don't want to take that first drink. Try that and admit you are powerless over alcohol just for today. Don't worry about the higher power concept it will happen when you want it. For now try these simple things and here's my e-mail if you'd like to chat. Grea105@cs.com Take care all and bless you and all those miracles out there 24 hrs. more.


Member: Christine C.
Location: Cakima, MICHIGAN
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 11:26:42 PM

Comments

Hi, Christine, Alcoholic,

I look for spirituality within the people at the meetings. The place doesn't really matter. Because, we as alcoholics have a common problem, we also have a common solution. The way that I recognize someone with spirituality is "they have something I want"-they are Happy, Joyous and Free. Something I strive for everyday.

I just recently got online and found this site. It helps, we unload, and feel a little better. It is kind of like putting a bandaid on a wound.

But, I like to venture out and see different meetings. Some of the best meetings I have ever had are the "before and afters" of the meetings. And in a while, you find a meeting that you feel comfortable calling your own "home-group". With me, I need a meeting at least every other day. Or I fall back into the "old-way" of thinking. Meetings help me humble myself. Today, the meetings help me keep my thinking straight. Because, today, I no longer have a drinking problem, I have a thinking problem. My home group has 11 meetings a week, 7 night, and 4 morning. And a lot of so-called, "old-timers", The guys/gals that you don't want to listen to, but, they been there and done that, and usually know what they are talking about.

Everyone works a different program. So, you have to know what is comfortable for yourself.

Most of the meetings I have been to, open with the preamble, The Serenity Prayer, readings from Big Book and some or all of traditions.

As for a person being asked to leave- I have seen it happen. Tradition 3, says the only requirement for AA membership is the desire to stop drinking. There is a possibility that there was more to the story.

Thanks for Letting Me Share. Happy to Be Clean And Sober another 24 hours:) Ps there is other meetings online... this is my favorite, but, just type in alcoholicsanonymous and scroll down..


Member: susan l
Location: vermont
Date: 3/3/2002
Time: 11:27:08 PM

Comments

grea, the problem i'm having with the higher power is that i don't feel powerless. i drink because the urge is huge, the first sip wonderful. i stopped smoking cold turkey 12 years ago. many believe that tobacco addiction is more pwerful than alcohol addiction. the difficulty i'm having with aa is the belief that i'm powerless...it is an enormous struggle, and i know i need support to succeed, but i make a decision to pour my glass of wine and ignore the pleading part of me not to pour. what i need is a way to give a larger voice to the part of me wanting not to drink any longer. i'm an alcoholic and know i need some form of support to succeed. can aa help if i don't share the higher power belief thing? are there any other programs around which have success in helping to attain/maintain sobriety? or is there some hybrid form of aa which may be helpful? thanks


Member: Patrick M.
Location: Alaska
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 3:17:53 AM

Comments

Hello, My name is Patrick and I'm an Alcoholic. My best friend tried to kill me. Alcohol was my best friend for 17 years and I was obsessed with taking my own life toward the end. I had major bouts of depression during the 17 years that I drank, spent thousands of dollars on psychiatrists and medications for hyper-tension. My regular physician told me, when I was 28 years old, that I'd be lucky to live to see 40! He ment it! He asked me if I was in an abusive relationship, judging from the number of broken bones, "accidents", and clumsey mistakes. I was but wouldn't admit it. To ashamed. I managed to find abusive people to have relationships with, found them all in bars, and in one situation my step-father had to "clean my house" with the local sheriff while I was away on a business trip, in order to protect me. Poor man, the hell I put him through, constantly worrying about me.

Today, I'm not embarassed about what I've gone through because I know that it was all part of the journey, and because of it I have an understanding and empathy for those who are "in the disease".

For those of you who still think that you can drink socially, then stop wasteing your time lurking on online AA meeting. Get out there and drink till you've had enough misery, then find a F2F meeting and get a sponsor.

I'm in a remote village in western Alaska where there's one meeting a week. I miss the F2F meetings, the hugs, watching people "get it", pressing the flesh, and seeing people begin to glow as the spiritual journey begins to intensify. This programs not about not drinking, its about a second chance at life a getting a life better than one could imagine.

I love you all, Pat


Member: Mark W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 6:16:39 AM

Comments

susan l

Many had the same problem you describe. I did too. There is an address to send email questions to here at staying cyber. You might try it. there are other programs as well. I feel that programs that are based on hate of anything are useless for me, but some apparently work for some people. Rational Recovery is one. In the event other programs do not work, try AA when you are ready, it worked for me.

Mark W. LMW007@aol.com


Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 7:17:27 AM

Comments

"First One Here ?

Then start the meeting with a topic of your choice. Please compose a topic that is related to alcoholism."

Sam, please read these instructions! There are also at the top of this page.

"What was your first meeting like?" is a wonderful topic, only problem is you weren't the first one here, were you?

I'd like to hear people share on the ORIGINAL topic: the fellowship of AA. Thanks.


Member: Scott K.
Location: Rochester
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 7:43:20 AM

Comments

Hi, My name is Scott and I'm an alcoholic. I began with cyber meetings and learned very much about the process of recovery. I read the Big Book, 12 & 12 and just about anything I could get my hands on about alcoholism. It all helped but didn't keep me sober. I was ready for my first F2F meeting. Once I decided to go, I got a list of meetings and picked a daily meeting to go to. I figured that I would go once per week or so. That all changed after the first meeting. I found that I wanted more. I was very nervous at first but that melted during the first 15 minutes. Since that day I have gone to a F2F meeting every day and have been going to two different groups. I find the meetings inspiring and they are much more incouraging than the cyber meetings which I still visit each day because these people are great and have so much to offer.

Susan l, I am having a big problem with higher power and I am learning a lot about how other's handle that and it seams workable. I am not having God jammed down my throat, that would be bad for me. As far as being powerless, as far as that is concerned, I am ONLY powerless over ALCOHOL!!! I have very much personal power regarding other things. One of those things is deciding to go to a meeting and I do. I wish you the best, you sound a lot like me and believe me, I love being sober, its becomming the most important and rewarding thing in my life.

Looking forward to another 24. LOL


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 9:20:10 AM

Comments

Many diverse people, with little else in common, sharing the pain and misery of their former lives, and the joy and struggle of their present life, with the common goal of staying sober.

Mutual support, people who understand, people to talk with, people to argue with, people to share with who have been where I am/was, and some who are now where I want to be.

This is how I, as a new member of 30 days or so, see the fellowship of AA. I thank God for it, and for all the help and guidance I have recieved here and at face to Face meetings.

((Judith)) "Lots of Love" would be good, but LOL generally means Laugh out Loud.

Strength to all.

Drystep@aol.com


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 11:25:05 AM

Comments

I came to AA a self-sufficient loner. Asking for help was not an option, unless I coerced you into it. I kept coming back to AA and kept going back out because I knew I was unique. Every time I drank again it got worse, much much worse. Alcohol finally pounded me into submission. For me “any lengths”, meant letting go of my notions and preconceptions. I had to be willing to listen to others ideas, and try those ideas on for size, rather than rejecting everything that bruised my ego or did not feed it.

Today it seems every day I wake up to a new revelation, I have friends from many walks of life thanks to AA. The diversity of my AA friends helps me recognize the beautiful humanity of all others sooner, when my ego is making insane judgments. “You drive too slow…or too fast, your too old, too fat, too stupid, too smart, too rich, too poor”, it doesn’t matter my ego seeks to judge you and wrap the world up in hideous neat little boxes. Today my mind tells me to isolate, but I ONLY find true Joy in the company of others. Today I pray for God to “relieve me from the bondage of my self and take away my difficulties, which keep me from being helpful to others” The steps allow me the choice to live in a world of darkness or light and love.


Member: NEW A.A. MEETING
Location: PENNA. POCONOS
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 2:01:12 PM

Comments

NEW A.A. MEETING TO BEGIN MID APRIL IN THE POCONO PA. AREA. IT WILL BE AN OPEN LITERATURE MEETING RUNNING 90MIN.-WE WILL USE VARIOUS LITERATURE THAT OUR FOUNDERS FOUND ESSENTIAL IN ORDER TO RECOVER AS WELL AS LITERATURE WRITTEN BY DICK B. WE WILL USE THE BIG BOOK AS WELL AS THE BIBLE.IF YOU,D LIKE MORE INFO YOU MAY CONTACT THE FOLLOWING E MAIL. PLEASE LEAVE YOUR FULL NAME AND MAILING ADDRESS SO WE CAN CONTACT YOU. ALSO IF YOU LIKE, LEAVE YOUR PHONE AND OR E ADDY. COTACT US AT whyitworked@yahoo.com


Member: Keri R.
Location: Sunny So. CAl.
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 3:11:47 PM

Comments

Keri 90 days sober thanks to AA. This is a great place to go. I travel alot in my business and it is like having a home meeting via cyber. I will still go to my F2F meetings but this is great.


Member: Mary allen
Location: austin,mn
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 3:21:47 PM

Comments

Two topics that are very closely related- first meetings and fellowship. If a person doesn't get to the first meeting they won't be able to experience the fellowship of the program. First meetings can be difficult, even if you have some sober time. Different locations, different people, different style of meetings, being a "new" person in the room. I have yet to find many alcoholics that enjoy change. First meetings take a bit of courage and willpower to attend. Once there hopefully people are greeted with the fellowship of A.A. The feeling that they belong and are welcome. At the meetings that I attend we try to make sure we notice the newcomers and welcome them to join us. The fellowship is the welcoming of new people, meeting new people that may be come new friends, people that understand what you are talking about when "normal" people think you are crazy and don't understand how you have come to that conculsion about things. Loneliness was a large part of my drinking and using, wanting to belong to anything or anyone to try to releive that.

The websites are fine and help me to meet other people from very far away that I would never be able to meet in person. There is nothing like a face to face meeting for the hugs and the exchange of experience, strength and hope. To see people change and to have them notice when there is something "wrong" with me and ask is wonderful. It is hard to feel the spirit at a website but I have definately felt it at a meeting. Fellowship is one thing that keeps me coming back to the meetings. I want to see how people and situations turn out. One member has told me that "you missed it" when I miss a meeting. What is it that I missed? He doesn't know because he doesn't know what my H.P. wanted me to learn from the meeting.

Go to meetings until you find one that you want to be at. I have a rule of three tries before I decide that I don't like a meeting. That way if I'm in a bad mood or someone else is or the meeting is "different" I can try it again.

Have a good day and enjoy life.


Member: smokinjoe
Location: rural iL.
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 4:02:38 PM

Comments

what is FELLOWSHIP? it is having access to others who loved me, despite all my shortcomings, UNTIL i learned to love myself....i hated going to daily f2f meetings until i learned to love meetings ! further down the road in sobriety, i recognize that fellowship is RIGHT and a RESPONSIBILITY: i must continue sharing the blessings i've been given to keep those blessings (namely SOBRIETY and sometimes even being happy-joyous-free).

WHO SAYS THE SUCCESS RATE OF AA WAS 93% AND IS ONLY 10% NOW??!! its 100% OF THOS WHO REALLY TRY!!

READ LAST PAGE OF "forward to 2nd edition" in big book, it says, "1/2 OF THOSE WHO REALLY TRY, stay sober on 1st attempt, 1/4 make it and stay after some relapses (THAT'S 75% TOTAL), and the rest show some improvement by stickin with AA AM I WILLING TO REALLY TRY TODAY?

HAVE A BLESSED DAY


Member: Mary allen
Location: austin,mn
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 4:12:08 PM

Comments

Two topics that are very closely related- first meetings and fellowship. If a person doesn't get to the first meeting they won't be able to experience the fellowship of the program. First meetings can be difficult, even if you have some sober time. Different locations, different people, different style of meetings, being a "new" person in the room. I have yet to find many alcoholics that enjoy change. First meetings take a bit of courage and willpower to attend. Once there hopefully people are greeted with the fellowship of A.A. The feeling that they belong and are welcome. At the meetings that I attend we try to make sure we notice the newcomers and welcome them to join us. The fellowship is the welcoming of new people, meeting new people that may be come new friends, people that understand what you are talking about when "normal" people think you are crazy and don't understand how you have come to that conculsion about things. Loneliness was a large part of my drinking and using, wanting to belong to anything or anyone to try to releive that.

The websites are fine and help me to meet other people from very far away that I would never be able to meet in person. There is nothing like a face to face meeting for the hugs and the exchange of experience, strength and hope. To see people change and to have them notice when there is something "wrong" with me and ask is wonderful. It is hard to feel the spirit at a website but I have definately felt it at a meeting. Fellowship is one thing that keeps me coming back to the meetings. I want to see how people and situations turn out. One member has told me that "you missed it" when I miss a meeting. What is it that I missed? He doesn't know because he doesn't know what my H.P. wanted me to learn from the meeting.

Go to meetings until you find one that you want to be at. I have a rule of three tries before I decide that I don't like a meeting. That way if I'm in a bad mood or someone else is or the meeting is "different" I can try it again.

Have a good day and enjoy life.


Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 4:13:41 PM

Comments

I am an alcoholic and an addict I wont be sober stting here and alive today it were cause of the Fellowship. People who are at the beginning of their journey. Perhaps people could share how a meeting works and therefore how the fellowship is developed. It takes a lot to walk into that room the first time. What was your first meeting like?I have recieved the hugs caring frindship from the fellows who luv u and are always there to help you .thanks to aa and alanon.


Member: Charlie Darling
Location: Key West, FL
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 5:46:17 PM

Comments

Hi Family Charlie Darling A very GRATEFUL recovering ALCHOLIC. I remember my first meeting very well, as I looked up AA in the phone book, and they ghave me the address, and I drove by, and looked, and said I can't go there it looks to much like a Bar, and it was an old bar at one time. So I called AA hotline and they gave me a list of other meetings, and I went to one at the local hospital, and most of the members there were in detox, so I stayed the meeting, and the next day I was in detox, and am so gratful for that first meeting as I now have 5 years one day at a time, and that place that looked like a bar is one of the best bars I have ever been in. As I go there every day to an attitude adjustment meeting at 8am, and I never felt so much love and compassion in one place at one time. Thank you for bringing me back to that day, and all your ESH that you have given me the past couple of years when I found this site, as it saved my Ass when I could not get to meetings. I Love you all. Have a bleesed and most sober day you owe it to yourself. kwduke_1999@yahoo.com


Member: Joe B.
Location: Winfield, Missouri
Date: 3/4/2002
Time: 10:32:26 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Joe B.and I am an alcoholic.Thank all for being there for me. I don't remember alot about my first meeting. It was 1991 and cold. I was in a local detox center and the counselers took us to an open meeting. I do know that at that time I wasn't alcoholic. Not as I know it now. You see, I was a godless liar, cheat and a thief. But alcoholic? No way! I didn't become an alcoholic until I started attending meetings after my release from prison. I was scared and hungry for a better way to live. I was willing to do anything.

There was a lady who always sat in the back of the room and she kept saying, "keep coming back!" So I did. Slowly I became an alcoholic by hearing people from all walks of life tell my story. Over and over. Until I realized that I am an acoholic and absolutely no human power could keep me sober.

I am sure that some seed was planted within me at that first meeting. I don't know what it was but I do know that today I do have a God of my understanding who loves me and teaches me through my sponsor, the Big Book, and you people who are just like me. An alcoholic.

Thank you and I love you all. KEEP COMIN' BACK!


Member: Doug G.
Location: California
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 12:20:58 AM

Comments

I am an alcoholic that is not able to attend AA meetings because I have some social phobias that keep me at home. I am using Staying Cyber to join the fellowship of AA. I find it comforting to know that I am not the only alcoholic using their computers to participate in the Alcoholics Anoymous fellowship.

Your sharing gives me encouragement and companionship. Is this still considered part of fellowship of AA?

I was clean and sober for sixteen years, then one day about a year ago I thought I was a normal non-alcoholic and could drink like any other normal non-alcoholic. Well, here I am again in a alcoholic recovery program. This time I am unable to attend AA meetings. I use my computer to stay in touch with other alcoholics. I look for their experience, strength and hopes to help me.


Member: Tom D.
Location: Chana IL
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 12:29:31 AM

Comments

Hi,I'm Tom and I'm an alchoholic. This my first time sharing with this group. I just got my 2 month chip last week. I am glad to be here,because I couldn't get to a face to face meeting tonight. I get the so many wonderful things from the meetings I attend. I miss it when I can't go. I see people with a long time sober smile, and wink when they see me. They pat me on the shoulder and say glad to see you. They fill up the coffee pot and go around and fill everyones cups. After the meeting a whir of activity starts as people empty ashtrays,push in chairs, and clean up. This meeting has its advantages too. I can hear from people I never could have in person. It is easy to get to. With a little imagination,I can see some smiles and some suffering. I can definately feel the love and caring, and its great to be a part of this "we." Susan in Vermont, please keep coming back all of the problems you have with starting out are surmountable. Any AA member who lives the program believes his or her life depends on helping you(me too). AA is here to help, and always will be if you take that first step. The greatest thing about meetings is my sense of belonging. I go,I listen, I feel apart of, because we share a bond that Lessa (Chicago) described. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Joni S.
Location: Winfield, Mo.
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 1:03:40 AM

Comments

Hi, my name is Joni and I'm an alcholic,I dont remember to much of my first meeting but I do remember doing it for every body else but me.I saw there faces and smilesand thought they had to be nuts cause I didnt have anything to smile about,but slowly as I kept comming backthe smile just wasnt on there faces any more it was on mine too. you people showed me how to be friends with a man with out sex you showed me there was a higher power how loves me you showed me the steps witch brought my sainty back (most of the time ha ha) AA and my higher power have showen me a new way to live . It my not be a bed of roses all the time but Im sober toay!

God Bless


Member: BetoL
Location: Tampico, Mexico
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 10:47:20 AM

Comments

As the preamble says, "Alcoholics Anonymous is a fellowship...", so when I say I am a member of AA, I am icluding myself in a fellowship. The program is different. The program is the steps, BB ch 5, "Here are the steps we took which are suggested as a program of recovery."

I got sent to my first AA meeting by my probation officer. He was trying to keep me out of the penitentiary, and that day, for the first time, I realized he was on my side and was not the enemy. This was before there were any papers to be signed. Both he and I knew that if I didn't quit drinking I would be in lockup pronto. Both he and I knew that I had a drinking problem that I needed help to conquer.

I called the phone contact for AA that was in the newspaper, and the fellow who answered said he would pick me up at my home at 7:15 PM. He was there, on time. I had spent several hectic minutes getting ready, and trying to find some matches in the house that didn't have the name of a bar in the cover.

The meeting was in a nearby town, in a church building, and my friend made it a point to tell me that we meet in a lot of church buildings, but there is no affiliation.

People shared what they had been like, what happened, and what they were like then, and somehow I got the feeling that maybe AA was worth a shot. There were several people with years of sobriety, but I was most impressed by a guy with a little over a month. A MONTH! How could anybody stay sober a MONTH. Newcomers, you can help in ways that nobody else can.

When the basket was passed, I got a resentment, but my friend saw me reaching into my pocket, stopped my hand, and whispered, "Not the first time." I can't tell you how important that was. Of course, then I got a resentment about not being allowed to contribute, "What's the matter," I thought. "My money isn't good enough?"

We hung around for about 15 minutes after the meeting while my friend "fellowshipped." I was impatient to leave, but later I learned that the 15 minutes before and after a meeting are often the most important part of the event.

I recently returned to that area for a short visit and saw four of the people who were at that meeting, and that meeting was the ninth of April, 1975. We have all five been sober ever since, and are members of a fellowship in which it is truly a blessing to belong.

Feliz 24 horas, amigos


Member: Andrew
Location: Calgary
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 11:44:24 AM

Comments

For me, the WWW has been a terrific enhancement to the fellowship I found in AA. I got on line about two years ago and have been coming to stayingcyber ever since. I also participate in an e mail group and a few other forums, all recovery related. This medium has expanded my horizons so much. I have met about a dozen of the regulars here that mostly frequent the coffee pot and look forward to meeting more of these great folks.

To me fellowship is all about relating to and interacting with others, which is quite a stretch from the last years of my drinking. By taking the steps as suggested and applying the principles contained in the steps to all areas of my life, doing the best I can with what I got, the changes that have occured in my perceptions, feelings and behaviour are really quite amazing.

I know of at least two people that have gotten and stayed clean and sober without ever attending a face to face meeting, using only the WWW and several others who have achieved sobriety using other programs or fellowships. The Big Book states quite clearly that we don't have a corner on recovery from alcoholism and that some recover using other methods. AA has been the cornerstone of my recovery although I have been involved in many other disciplines also. For me it all comes down to the essentials of recovery...Willingness, openmindedness and honesty. And to keep in mind that quote about contempt prior to investigation. I am pretty comfortable in my own skin today, so I think I will keep doing the things that I know are right for me.

Love that learning curve.

paxaa@hotmail.com


Member: Gage
Location: South
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 11:45:09 AM

Comments

I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic.

I think an important aspect of AA recovery for me is having a homegroup. This is the difference between being in the AA community and having a sort of AA family for me. There are lots of people in my AA community that I don't know well, and whom don't really know me. But in my homegroup, I have an identity and a history. People know me there. They know what's important to me, what my hopes and fears are, and they know how to talk to me about these things, and I know how to approach them. We laugh together, cry together, and everything in between. When I consider what will surely happen to me should I pick up drinking again, it occurs to me that I'm trusting these people with my life. That sounds dramatic, but if you are new to AA, stick around and you will see that people do in fact die. But you'll also see people recover, rise above their difficulties, and get on a new course in their lives. If these people are apart of your AA homegroup, your family, then you get to share in their success and draw hope from it. At least that's how it's working out for me so far.

I've had one other revelation concerning the fellowship. That is that families, even AA families, fight sometimes. They also, make up and forgive one another, and this is just a lesson in living. I don't like everyone I meet in AA, but I can practice tolerating the people I don't particularly like. I don't have to like them, nor do they have to like me. But I do have to respect that they are my fellows. Not always easy to do. I never know though; they might change, or I might, and these might be my friends someday if I don't show my ass too much.


Member: AM
Location: Vancouver
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 12:01:13 PM

Comments

Hey, AM here, alcoholic. I think the fellowship is very important. the whole point is that it's too hard to do alone. talking with others who understand is very key -- as is using additional tools you may need like in or out patient programs and medication. imagine if the meetings didn't exist and you had to tackle this problem on your own. i hope i can stay sober and grateful to be alive today. thanks


Member: New A.A. meeting
Location: POCONOS PA.
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 12:38:51 PM

Comments

If your higher power is JESUS,you will have a safe meeting to talk about it in mid april.Or if you just are interested in what the founders thought and read,this meeting may be of interest to you. leave your full name ,mailing address and or phone & e addy. whyitworked@yahoo.com meeting will be in pocono area of pa.


Member: jan
Location: louisiana
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 1:18:17 PM

Comments


Member: jan
Location: louisiana
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 1:22:33 PM

Comments

hey guys..jan, alcoholic..sober for 11mos.very grateful....never attended aa online, decided to check it out...


Member: Joe L.
Location: Vermont
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 2:51:59 PM

Comments

Hello all, I am Joe and I am an alcoholic. The AA fellowship to me is amazing becuase no matter how much I try to understand and rationalize it and I cannot. I even tried to do my senior thesis on it but I couldn't. Instead I ended up getting drunk and procrastinating it. I have been able to quit drinking for month long periods and my bottom wasn't that low but I am still controlled by it. No matter how long I am sober I always end up drinking again, running out of hope and back to the bottle.

I am now three weeks in the program. I am done rationalizing it because my mind isn't something that is very trust worthy and reason is overrated. My ego is huge!!! I finally gave in and am trying to work the steps although I still have other things in my life. I know it is all contingent on my sobriety. I was having a crummy day so thought I would check a meeting on-line, my first. Thanks for having me. Keep coming back to online and f2f meetings any meeting is good for us. I personally feel like I belong in any AA meeting but some are better than others. I am still trying to surrender to this program and my powerlessnes over booze, God willing. Pray for me and I will pray for you. Thanks, Joe


Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 3:56:41 PM

Comments

Hello, Bill here, Alcoholic from Arizona. It was a heartwarming experience to read some of the shares this morning. Gail and Lisa H. We have never met. But I got sober in the Denver metro area in 1981 and it was like meeting old friends.

The Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous was formed as a direct result of the Big Book. (Alcoholics Anonymous). A few years after Bill and Bob met, they took a head count and found out that 40 alcoholics had fully recovered with out too much difficulty; simply by following the directions of Bill Silkworth of "The Doctor's Opinion". This was amazing at that time. It was decided to write a book outlining precisely how we recover. The Fellowship then took it's name from the title of the book (Alcoholics Anonymous). The foreward to the first edition starts out, "We of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than 100 men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body. This is the beginning of the AA Fellowship. By the way this also settles the "gender" issue tha crops up now and again. English majors know that "he" is the proper pronoun when the gender is unknown. The Big Book is gramatically correct.

Ken, I had a lot of great sponsors early on. One of the things we did was go to a different meeting every Saturday night. We did this for quite a while. On the way home we would critique each meeting. What did I like? What did I dislike?. What I learned from that exercise was, there is no such thing as a "bad" AA meeting. But there are some much better than others. :)

And Susan1...I belong to an online AA group that was formed in 1996 and is still going strong. It was formed to reach isolated areas and house bound alcoholics. We meet every night at 9:30 pm eastern at www.winnerscirclemeeting.com We are a properly registered meeting at GSO in New York, have officers, a business meeting the last Thursday of the month, and we follow the 7th tradition by paying for our space online. Part of our group conscience is to get folks to face to face meetings. So it is a mix of the two. I even belong to an AA skydivers group. LOL.

Thank you all for being a part of my sobriety today.

Bill

az-bill@mindspring.com


Member: dempsy d
Location: uk
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 6:16:41 PM

Comments

Hello dempsey recovering alcoholic. I have found fellowship and comfort here on www.Live on small Island and work in trade Community psych nurse.Was discouraged by sponsor from attending F2F.Partly difficult sharing with clients,blurring boundaries or is this a cop out.Also was probs with maleness of local meetings.Maybe I try one this weekend,no excuse kids away.Would welcome advice with this. Thankyou for letting me be with you.x


Member: ruben
Location: los angeles ,ca
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 9:43:54 PM

Comments

hi my name is ruben, and have been sober for three months


Member: We get the point!
Location:
Date: 3/5/2002
Time: 10:45:40 PM

Comments

To new AA meeting in Poconos-Enough already!!! You have told us of this meeting 4 times in 1 week! Give it a rest! Whetever happened to attraction rather than promotion?


Member: Angel V.
Location: Hawai'i
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 1:09:27 AM

Comments

Aloha AA 'family', This is my 1st on-line meeting & I already feel SO good! I was invited by a friend to my first meeting in 1981 in a library in Waikiki. I was spiritually bankrupt when I got there, but, in no time found myself laughing out loud, crying in relief, & finally felt like I actually belonged on this planet. Also, how GREAT is it knowing almost everywhere in the world, there's a chair waiting just for me, a cup of tea, and, at least one heartfelt smile?? As far as being online it is FANTASTIC!(GOOD JOB) I have a neck disorder from an 'old' auto accident & cannot sit still too long.(I always wanted to be unique, but, oi'. MAY recover from THAT too.) Stayingcyber has made my day! My worst days sober are FAR better than my best days drunk! Keep coming back, it does indeed work (miracles). Aloha, Angel V.


Member: Virginia D
Location: Small town Oklahoma
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 2:20:17 AM

Comments

First meetings and Fellowship:

After driving about 30 miles out of my way looking for the address I discovered that the meeting I was looking for was right around the corner from my house. Needless to say the state of my mind was not in great working order!

Anyway, I sat out in the parking lot crying and reading my Alanon book for 3 hrs. then finally went inside.

I didn't know it at the time but this was an alumni meeting for people who had gone through the Memorial Hosp. treatment program. It was huge with about 200 people at least and I knew nobody.

I went to this meeting daily for 35 days and then the longing for fun and shooting pool hit me. I missed the bars!

I shared this with another member who told me about an *AA Club* that had a pool table and he would take me there. The minute I walked through the door I felt right at home and stayed there for the next 7 years until I moved out of state. They had lots of meetings and the club stayed open from 6 a.m. til 12 or 2 a.m. just like the bars!

We stayed at the Late night meeting (went on as long as anybody wanted to be there, we just locked up when finished) on Friday and Saturday nights and then on to the coffee shops til daybreak. Gee, I had to work the next day. I enjoyed it so much I didn't care. They told story after story all night long and I listened and learned about the program.

This is my favorite kind of meeting today, one with a club that is open all day. A meeting then fellowship, fighting, whatever we made up and got to do some step work on ourselves.

I think I miss this the most now that I am in a small town with only 3 small meetings a week and no one goes to the coffee shop or really even calls. I really don't think I could have stayed sober like this. Don't know how new ones do it, I really don't.

Today I support meetings that stick by the AA Traditions and Blue Card. They are the *glue* that keeps the meetings going. Without them were dead.

When I got my first chance at having a meeting an oldtimer gave me some tips which I try to stick by today when leading a meeting...he said: start and end on time (don't know who has to be somewhere afterwards) and start the meeting off by calling on someone that you think will give it a *jump start* and end with someone you know will end it on a good positive note.

A VERY grateful alcoholic


Member: Barb
Location:
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 6:50:42 AM

Comments

Hi, this my first post on the web. I've been trying to stay sober for a long time and now I can only go for about 10 days without a binge. I so disgusted with myself and I'm so afraid to go to a meeting because someone might see me. I don't want to live my life like this. I want to be happy and free from this drunken way.


Member: irma s.
Location: Texas
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 10:15:04 AM

Comments

Hi, I've been trying to stop drinking for the past 25 years and have not been able to. I've had many failed marriages and relationships due to this horrible, dependent addiction. And, still cannot stop. I keep telling myself I can't do it alone, but facing others like me or counselors, only addedd to my fears that I am a bad person because I am a drunk. Voicing these fears anonynously through this posting I hoping will help. I believe it will. Thanks for this different kind of support.


Member: NEW AA MTG
Location: PENNA
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 11:27:52 AM

Comments

NEW A A MTG MID APRIL POCONO PA AREA LITERATURE TO BE USED BIG BOOK BIBLE DICK B BOOKS FOR MORE INFO:whyitworked@yahoo.com


Member: Gail G
Location: CO
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 12:42:01 PM

Comments

AZbill,

Thanks for that online AA meeting site. I'm going to check it out.

May God bless all of you

Gail G


Member: Kim D.
Location: Bridgewater
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 2:17:07 PM

Comments

Hi all my name is Kim and I am an alcoholic.

Ken, what I look for and what someone else looks for in a meeting may be worlds apart. First, there are several TYPES of meetings: Open, Discussion, Big Book and 12&12 meetings. Then, they can be "specialized" for men or women only, gays, lesbians, young peoples, etc.

What worked for me was to find a home group in which I felt comfortable. FOR ME - that meant not too big or not too small. Also, some of the group members had to have some sobriety that I respected and the "atmosphere" in the meeting hall was warm, friendly and recovery centered. This took me visiting several meetings on a regular basis every week before I made my choice.

I left that group after 2 years of sobriety because the group no longer fit my needs. It grew too big - became a social gathering instead of an AA meeting where the breaks lasted almost longer than the second half of the meeting - and there was 20-25 people going on commitments which meant everyone got to speak for 2-3 minutes. Didn't work for me.

So Ken, peoples needs are different. What makes a good meeting for you may stink for another person. It is suggested that you find a home group - somewhere you can get connected and get to know other recovering alcoholics - and you attend a 12 step meeting, either a 12&12 or a Big Book. Again, it depends on what is comfortable for you.

Good luck. This has only been my experience... i don't mean to preach. Just go to meetings - lots of them in the beginning - and you will find the ones that feel right to you.


Member: Lionel -C
Location: campbelltown Australia
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 2:32:31 PM

Comments

Hello everyone I'm Lionel Iam an alcoholic. Hi Barb I was once where your at .Thats why I know you can have a life that is HAPPY JOYESS and FREE.Free from the bondage of self.Start today call Alcoholics Anonymous. there in the phone book. I'm thankfull that alcohlic pride did'nt kill me. I have a life today thats beyond my wildest dreams,Thanks to the AA program .And a God I'm still trying to understand. I thought going to my fisrt AA meeting what if theres someone I know in there.Everyone might find out Im a drunk.They already knew that.I realized they were in the meeting for the same reason as myself.Thank God I was able to lose that false pride an walk into my fisrt meeting.I havent looked back.I can't WE can.God bless.


Member: Barb
Location:
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 3:37:50 PM

Comments

Hi Lionel Thank you so much. I did get up the courage and went to an AA meeting today. Everyone was so nice and caring. I met a lady there who made me realize that I want what 'she has'. Sobriety, a higher power and meetings to attend. I am going to another meeting tomorrow. And I got a phone number. I'm scared but I know I want this program.


Member: Frank W.      
Location: Pueblo, Colorado
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 3:42:06 PM

Comments

I have 40 days sober today! I give thanks to my higher power and the fellowship of aa


Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 4:07:37 PM

Comments

Hi All---Chris here--- ALcoholic/addict/bulimic--I will never forget my first meeting(s)...My therapist gave me the advice of going to at least one meeting a week...I was so scared and I said, " PleaseLord, don't let me see anyone I know"...Well, my H.P. has a great sense of humor, and I immediately saw some one from my community that could have told everyone I knew that I was there. However, he didn't and made me feel as welcome as I could at the time. My therapist told me that all I had to say if they called on me was "I don't want to drink today---and I pass"Well, I recited that like a book and went to my one little meeting for about a year...scared to death most of the time. It wasn't until I was trying to get completely sober that I realized that I really needed more meetings. hat is when I really got involved with a Step Meeting (also it was Just Women)and tried to do as close to 90 in 90 as I could. I cannot recommend that highly enough. The difference between f2f meetings and cyber meetings ( and I should know because I have only done cyber meetings for the past 4-5 years because of physical problems) ,for me, is that I don't get the serenity here (although I LOVE it!!) that I did in f2f meetings. It is so wonderful to listen to other people just like me , and learn how they have stayed sober. One of the greatest gifts that I recieved was that in the rooms was that I no longerfelt like a square pegin a round hole. There were others like me..And I was not alone. F2f meetings are also a place where I can sit and get quiet enough and feel safe enough to listen to that "still small voice" in me that is telling me what is really going on in my life. I can get brutally honest with myself and that for me is one of my keys to sobriety. Enough cannot be said about the fantastic people in the rooms who are honestly trying to change the mess they havemade of their lives. They have found a solution to their problems and that in itself is a miricle. I am so looking forward to the day that I can make f2f meetings a regular part of my life again.


Member: Joni    D.O.S 10/26/96
Location: Missouri
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 4:15:28 PM

Comments

Hi my name is Joni and Im an alocholic. There have been several comments on only doing meetings on the web,well more power to ya if you can. For my self I need to go to f2f meetings because people there that know me call me on my crap,and in the past five years Ihave met so many wonderful people that I wouldnt of if I had only done the web but like I said more power to ya if you can do it,I have knoe dought you can stay sober ,but can you be spritual and have God in your life on a daily bases.

God Bless and Take Care!


Member: cheryl m
Location: INDIANA
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 4:37:13 PM

Comments

My first AA meeting was while I was in detox,at first I thought I am not as bad as these people but as I listened to them I realized we are the same. We might have different bottoms but we all got there by using!! I have a wonderful womens group that is my home group.Glad I found online meetings,I live in a small town with very few meetings.Thanks for letting me share.With AA and my Higher Power I have been clean for 10 months.Also on f to f meetings nothing can bet the smiles you get and the HUGS!! HUGS TO ALLL


Member: dempsey d
Location: uk
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 5:15:07 PM

Comments

Hi Dempsey here, Welldone Barb keep going you can do it, life is less scary sober than drunk, i promise.You can learn to love yourself and treat yourself good x


Member: Mark D
Location: NH
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 10:53:28 PM

Comments

Getting back to the original question: I don't remember what my first meeting was like. I was in such a fog of shame and denial that I honestly can't say I remember. I wasn't even drunk at the time. I remember meetings that scary people went to get their papers signed. I remember people "qualifying" with such good time drunkalogues that I went out and drank directly after. But I also remember one meeting that the people really seemed to enjoy being with one another. There was a genuine warmth. I remembered that meeting when I reached my bottom and got the gift of desperation. I went back and made it my home group. 16 months later I can say I went back to some of those other meetings and found that most of them have improved. Or maybe it was just my point of view. The thing is you're sick when you walk through those doors for the first time. Your sick in ways you don't kmow you're sick. If you keep going you'll discover that you have problems that you weren't even remotely aware of and others you've been hiding and walking around for years. But once you accept all this and start working on it--you start to get better. And it happens a little bit at a time. And you're surrounded by people in various stages of their recovery. They give you strength and support and before you know it, you're reaching out and trying to help someone else. It takes time. And work.


Member: Virginia D.
Location: Small town in Oklahoma
Date: 3/6/2002
Time: 10:58:16 PM

Comments

Hi Virginia here and I'm a real alcoholic...

BARB, glad you had the courage to get to the f2f meeting today. Just keep the *plug in the jub* and keep on going to meetings one day at a time and please keep us all posted to what is going on, okay?

Now for you IRMA in TEXAS... Glad that you are here and keep coming back. I will be back tomorrow to see how you are doing, okay?

I came to this program looking for *peace of mind* and can you believe it I have it today!

No more imaginary people surrounding my house trying to kill me...not one!!! LOL


Member: Cher
Location: Maine-iac
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 12:55:21 AM

Comments

Ahh good topic. Some of the "oldtimers" hate the idea of online AA meetings/Groups thinking it will be the downfall of AA as a whole.

I first found online intergroup of AA when I had a bad bout of asthma. I had to repeatedly leave meetings because of people marinated in toxic perfumes (Men are even worse than women sometimes with the aftershave and cologne). I would try not to get a resentment. It is not anyones fault that I am alergic to the general public.I was so sick for a while that online AA was all I really kept in touch with. I met some great people attached to oxygen tanks that could not attend meetings except online. I met some folks in remote areas that needed contact on a daily basis. I talked to some in hospitals who were able to use computers for short timeperiods throughout the day.

I have seen some really caring and strong 12stepwork happen online aswell. AA is just evolving....not fading in the least.

Thanks for reminding me how grateful I am for online AA.


Member: Bob H
Location: Alaska
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 1:51:06 AM

Comments

Bob Alcoholic Willing to go to any length would seem to take in f2f and online among other things. I lived in a community with no f2f and this site helped keep me sane and sober. I live in a megopolis of ~2200 now with f2f meets two and three times a week. Hey "Keep coming back" means you went to begin with. "Bring your butt and your mind will follow" Peace Bob


Member: Shianne
Location: usa
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 2:59:50 AM

Comments

Topic: The Fellowship of AA

East Orange, New Jersey was the 1st AA group that got to see me. There were 3 speakers: 2 men/ 1 woman. The woman went first sharing "what it was like while drinking, what it was like upon entering AA, and what it was like now". Her early adventures with her alcoholism brought tears down my cheeks. After the meeting, Big John said, "You're home, if you want it." I smiled nodding 'yes'.

AA members gave me their phone numbers (talk about trust automatically!), took my phone number and called me, took me to meetings (they didn't care if I was over weight and didn't have money to buy nice clothes!), introduced me to their friends (they accepted me as I was!), answered my questions , gave me hope that I too can get what they have (happy, joyous and free), listened to me when I could not get out of 'me', walked beside of me through the steps and traditions, taught me about service work, encouraged me when I felt there was no use in trying, hugged me till I was rosey-pink :-) and if not loved me (some did), accepted me into the fold of the fellowship of AA.

Guess what? I had good teachers! I pass on, what they willingly and unselfishly gave to me, to others, who reach out their hand for hope and a chance to turn their lives around and leave the alcohol behind.

Like Dr. Bob said, "AA's 12 steps is love and service."

AA hug to all!


Member: Jenny
Location: Minnesota
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 3:06:52 AM

Comments

Hi all I am new and scared , i was going to meetings in distric 35 area 15 but i moved and dont know what to do know , i just need to talk to someone , and my sponser is 2 hours away now , help please i am losing my mind!?!


Member: Jenny
Location: Minnesota
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 3:10:07 AM

Comments

OH , on the 4th i was 3 months sober and i aint got my madalion yet :0( , but hey i know i did it for this long .


Member: someone who's been
Location: where you are
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 3:25:48 AM

Comments

Jenny,

You're not alone. Don't give up before the miracle happens.

There are so many AA groups on the Internet, plus this fantastic site / Grapevine. The coffee pot here is also a good site to connect with AA members.

Plus there are AA chat rooms: www.about.com has one that is open 24 hours a day, every day; and there are more like this one. (Type in AA chat sites for world wide web for further help.)

All are suggestions for you


Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 3:30:10 AM

Comments

Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. My first meeting was in Washington DC back in October of 1987. I was in a meeting with true street people. I heard people talk about being homeless, living under the Washington Monument in a cardboard box. I looked for all the differences between them and myself, and could find no similarities because I didn't want to, I wanted to keep drinking. As I look back now, I realize that those meetings introduced me to something I understand and recognize immediately today, that being what is called the language of the heart.Those people homeless, not having much to eat, was not the station of life that they would have liked, but to each of them it was still far better, than what it would be like had they picked up a drink or a drug. Even though I didn't feel I needed help, I did recognize the sincerity that I heard in that room back in October 1987. Thru the amazing Grace of God, I have enjoyed continous sobriety since November 23rd 1987, and for that I am truly grateful.Thanks for taking me back where I came from with this topic.God Bless all on our amazing road of recovery.


Member: Mary Jane
Location: small-town in Japan
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 5:35:38 AM

Comments

To Susan from Vermont: I don't drink IN meetings and I find it much easier not to drink today if I have been to a meeting. AA groups, in this way, have more power over me than alcohol does. That's all it took to get me started on a journey that, so far, has lasted over 14 years.

And to Barb: Thanks for letting us know you were able to attend a meeting. Just because something is easy for me to do, doesn't mean it's easy for everybody. I get the most help from those who overcame the same difficulties I have, ESPECIALLY when they are things most people find very easy to do.

I'm so grateful for this fellowship, and I trust it to follow the 12 traditions as it has all along. As long as we do, we'll probably get it right, whether it's f2f, online or otherwise. I came here from an area where I was able to attend 6-10 meetings a week. Now I attend 4 - ALL 4 of them. My 1st meeting here, I was the only one with more than 90 days sobriety, so different from meetings with several members with over 30 years. And I'm learning new things here, like what I have to give. I go to these meetings because I want to stay sober today. These newcomers have something I want, a desire to stop drinking. If I can help them, that's good, too.

This is my first time to respond. I'm not sure it's for me but I'll try it again. I find I spend too long trying to "say it perfectly" and get it the right length (I have no idea if I'm within bounds). I have read the comments before though and am grateful for this way of sharing. Going from a choice of meetings everyday to 4/wk if I don't miss any gives me a new attitude toward online meetings. Thanks for being here for me.


Member: Barb
Location:
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 7:27:21 AM

Comments

Hi Everyone. Thanks for the responses. This morning I feel a world different than yesterday. (I don't hate myself, I know I did something right by going to AA). Now, I just need to remind myself that my life and my mind, attitudes, priorities are still a mess. The only way my life will get better is to go to meetings (f2f), is the right way for me, but I will try to post daily here (if that is ok). It feels like a grateful way to start my day.

Thank you


Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa  Florida
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 8:11:32 AM

Comments

Hi my name is Tom M I am a recovering alcoholic. I think we can find fellowship in many places, but for some reason the fellowship we have in AA is a closer more meaningful relationship. Thanks and God Bless.


Member: HAPPY PAPPY
Location: not at a meeting
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 10:32:09 AM

Comments

The fellowship sucks.Any lasting results for the real alcoholic will come from the program discribed in the first portion of the book ALCOHOLICS ANONYMOUS(BIG BOOK).That is their experience and mine.Following the"clear cut directions"will bring"the much desired result".


Member: ACTION MAN
Location: BOOK
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 1:22:42 PM

Comments

Yes its true the fellowship(meetings)are good mostly for introduction to A.A. and socializing.The (BIG BOOK) will give us the "precise method" our co founders used to recover from alcoholism.BB Pg.xxi "Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and presently join us on the high road to a new freedome."It seems that most of the people in"the fellowship"are recovering forever.BB Pg.xxvii "Their very first case,a desperate one,recovered immediately".So I choose to follow the directions in the Book,and get results.


Member: ACTION MAN
Location: BOOK
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 1:22:46 PM

Comments

Yes its true the fellowship(meetings)are good mostly for introduction to A.A. and socializing.The (BIG BOOK) will give us the "precise method" our co founders used to recover from alcoholism.BB Pg.xxi "Yet it is our great hope that all those who have as yet found no answer may begin to find one in the pages of this book and presently join us on the high road to a new freedome."It seems that most of the people in"the fellowship"are recovering forever.BB Pg.xxvii "Their very first case,a desperate one,recovered immediately".So I choose to follow the directions in the Book,and get results.


Member: Lynne
Location:
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 3:33:10 PM

Comments

I'm not sure if this is going to be related to the topic that is being discussed but I need some advice. I have been sober for a little of 2 1/2 years and have attended about 2 meetings a week on average. However, I have not been to one in almost 3 months. At first it was because of the holidays and the fact that my job gets really busy that time of year. Then I got sick for a couple of weeks. Now it seems that I am so out of the routine of going that I can't seem to make myself go. I haven't even talked to my sponser in 3 months. I guess I am starting to realize that I need not only the group contact but the one on one relationship as well. Now for the question. How do I reestablish contact with all involved? I know that it should be easy but reaching out is not something I do well. Plus I kinda feel guilty for going this long without doing the work. The more time that passes the more scared I get that I will drink. Any suggestions would be appreciated.


Member: Joni     D.OS 10/26/96
Location:
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 4:51:55 PM

Comments

This is for Lynn, sometimes I get out of my routine too but you have to remember where you came from and what it was like (scary)and what all you will lose if you drink . The people well their there to help them just the same sa you and they will always welcome you back with open arms!!

God Bless and Take Care!


Member: Ann A
Location: PA
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 7:52:10 PM

Comments

First meeting was an invite to someones anniversary, and the words I heard spoke so true to my heart, (and haunted me for years of continued drinking..lol) that I knew where to go when there was nowhere else to turn


Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 8:36:35 PM

Comments

Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellowship. Thanks for all the sincere shares. Welcome newcomers!

Excellent topic, Rich! Through the years of my sobriety in AA, I have been both highly involved in the Fellowship and separated from it to one degree or another.

From this experience, I can say that I know when I'm an active part of our Fellowship, my sobriety is more assured, as is my connection with my Higher Power and my own well being.


Member: ..
Location:
Date: 3/7/2002
Time: 11:58:12 PM

Comments

Does anyone here read?


Member: Beau
Location: Oregon
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 2:24:30 AM

Comments

Michael our sobiety is never assured. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition. p.g.85


Member: Barb
Location:
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 6:55:54 AM

Comments

Good Morning. I've been reading all the posts here and it's interesting. My meeting last night was very good (women's only) and I got more numbers. Is it ok to post here daily. I feel that I'm off topic now, since it's really about first time experiences. Thank you again for helping me start my day off with some gratitude (even if it's only a little).


Member: Wendal
Location: Neb.
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 7:04:59 AM

Comments

Arent shares portions of something?If youre shareing about the confusion in your life arent you shareing confusion?Thanks,I need more confusion!


Member: Stan
Location: lost
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 7:28:16 AM

Comments

Can anyone tell me what I have to do to get and stay sober.All thoughts welcome.


Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 10:14:39 AM

Comments

((Stan)) Do whatever it takes!!

Don't drink, don't pick up the first one, and you can't have the second either!

Get what help you need, If you need help to detox, see your Doctor, check into a hospital if you have to.

Call a friend, GO TO AA, you will meet others who have gone through it/ are going through it now. All here understand and will help and will guide you. Get and read the Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous. Don't worry about what anyone will think, we've all been there! Once you've stopped, use the program to stay sober, and get well.

Use this site, use others like it for advice, guidenance and encouragement. There are countless resources for you online if you look for them, AA and non-AA.

PRAY, to whatever God, or higher power you can believe in. Open yourself to the power.

Keep coming back, you have friends if you want them.

Drystep@aol.com


Member: Sboer and Peaceful
Location: Lots of Places
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 2:26:37 PM

Comments

Frank said it all.

Stan, if you do these things, one at a time, your life will become a gift to be cherished, not a burden to be endured. That's what happened to me. Just do the first thing today. Good luck, and god bless.


Member: Angel V
Location: Hawai'i
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 5:12:15 PM

Comments

Hi, I'm Angel, Happy recovering alcoholic. I couldn't remember how I'd found this site & e-mailed someone in AA to find out. I'm SO glad to find you again; your posts Make My Day. Thanks for letting me be part of stayingCyber. God Bless & for me it's SO true...My best day drunk is worse than my worst day sober! LOL Angel V in Hawai'i (hey! someone has to live here <:)ps. I've been here 22 years; but, if I weren't sober, it would be hell instead of 'Paradise'. aaallllooohhha. <:


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota , fla
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 5:48:23 PM

Comments

hello , my name is richard ...iam an alcoholic. Love , peace and happieness are enjoined on those men and women who can fellowship together without any outside disturbances..i hope at tonight's meeting a woman decides to fellowship with me ....it is a fellow ship of men and women ......5914 days of contiguous sobriety today !!!!! one day at time.....~~~~~


Member: Jay J
Location: Santa Rosa      CA
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 8:31:12 PM

Comments

Having gone through an inpatient recovery program, 21 day, I surrendered to the schedule of events that program offered. On that schedule were several AA meetings a week. I had no choice except to go by the facility's rules or get out and go it on my own, which, at the time, I had plenty of evidence not to trust I could do. In that time I was shown that AA was nothing anyone had ever said it was - good or bad. It became a completely personal experience that, like all things, needed the individual to actualy experience it to be able to relate. The motivational process of the AA may, being devoted to the alcoholic, the fellowship and the greater good of mankind, be too empassoined for the some newcomers to trust. In the end I believe the founders had an approach I would probably have appreciated most. Come and see.


Member: Susan S.
Location: Victoria BC Canada
Date: 3/8/2002
Time: 10:13:04 PM

Comments

Susan - sober and grateful. What I look for in a meeting is based on what I need that day. Almost always non-smoking, sometimes youthful and energetic, occasionally full of old timers and sage wisdom. Underlining my mood and expectations is always the basic foundation of Service, Recovery and Unity. Only a f2f meeting gives me unity, I have yet to develop any sober cyber friends. Service work is crucial to my ongoing work on lessening my ego. Recovery almost seems a by-product of those two components, but I realize that my HP answers my daily prayer of "Please help keep me sober today". I can't do this alone, I need a higer power and other fragile, imperfect humans to walk with on this path. My home group is a place where I can honestly unload what my week has been like and how my sobriety is going - even if it's not picture perfect. I will always approach the new person at my home group. As a guest in another group, I usually find myself a little more restrained and do my best to stay on topic, support the time and rhythm of the meeting and speak positively about my life in recovery. (I find drunk-a-logs a little boring.) So to answer the topic - what do I look for in a f2f meeting; honesty, caring and Tradition 5. God Bless


Member: Stephen W.
Location: Fargo ND
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 12:40:51 AM

Comments

My name is steve, i'm an alcoholic. what I usually look for in a f2f meeting is people who share their experience, strenghth and hope. Without hearing that other people had gone through the same problems that I have, were able to get through them, and show me how to do it, I wouldn't be here today.When I first sobered up I thought alot about suicide because I couldn't see a way out of the life I was I was living and I didn't see any hope for tomorrow. Every day was, in my perception, unbearable.I had overwhelming anxiety the second I woke up until the second I finally fell asleep. I had feared everything and saw no point to living any longer if I had to have that constant, nagging fear that held me back from life. Luckily I came to Alcoholics Anonomous and heard people tell me by relating their own experience how I was feeling and why. The thing that has helped me the most is having a sponsor to show me how to live life on life's terms and going through the steps laid in the big book with my sponsor, that's where I felt the Change. Today I don't have constant worry about all the things in life that I can't control. I don't have to anymore, God does for me what I cannot do for myself. I'm happy with life today even if everything doesn't go my way. That is a direct result of A.A.I still have my bad days, but, they're a hell of alot better than the days I spent hiding in the shadows of life with a bottle in my hand and alot easier to get through with A.A. always there to help me get back up again. Just keep coming back and eventually you'll find the way.


Member: Dan D.
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 12:03:25 PM

Comments

For those of us who believe there is only one way to sober up I have seen this simply is not true.I live in inner city Chicago where I witness the devastating effects of alcoholism dailey.I also go to alot of meetings where I see people relying on a power outside themselves to stay sober.Should we insist that new comers find a spiritual path exactly the way we did?The steps of AA are a great Guide but in my opinion not a set of precise orders that should never vary.Iam greatful that I know a program of love and tolerence and consequenly know lots of sober people.Stict rules never kept any real drunk sober.I spent years of my life behind bars always hoping that the regimentation of prison life would keep me sober.It never did.The loving spirit of one drunk helping another is what keep people sober.


Member: JCP
Location: Penn's Woods
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 12:15:50 PM

Comments

"My observation is that some people can get by with a certain amount of postponement, but few can live with outright rebellion."--"As Bill Sees It," p. 322

Enjoyed discussions about meetings. I've enjoyed this online source for several years now, so don't anybody take offense, I'm not putting anything down, just defining what I'm talking about: that this is at best a correspondence, not a meeting.

That's NOT a criticism. Bill's main point starting A.A. is that it didn't come out of books, even though books were essential to the process.

I might make two meetings today in the same basement--this morning and again this evening. Might not, too. Depends on what comes up. Starting out, it would have caught my attention, like, "Two meetings a day! Have you lost your skull?"

What I'm suggesting is just go as open as you can. Takes time to find out, meanwhile not drinking for me was a miracle the first night.

Of course, I was no dummy!!! (Your reaction to that is almost certainly correct) Who do you think you're foolin'?

Sure, I like some meetings better than others, they're made of people.

I'd be out of my skull to drink today. Just like I was that 7-times-365 days-plus that I did drink.

So there's no denying I owe this moment to A.A., and the next, and the next, as long as there is a next.

Thanks for letting me share


Member: klim
Location: notrac
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 2:33:47 PM

Comments

frank d blow me


Member: Robin A
Location: FL
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 4:00:21 PM

Comments

((Barb)) Post daily on the Coffee Pot site here (link at the bottom)on this discussion page it is suggested you post only once per week...


Member: Fareedah B.
Location: California
Date: 3/9/2002
Time: 9:56:36 PM

Comments

Hello out there -- My name is Fareedah M. I have been trying for a while now to learn about how to attend meetings via the internet. I don't know if I am posting correctly, but I hope that I am. I would like to make this a meeting that I attend. I am in my 10th year of sobriety (Apr 27 AA Birthday) and I am a substance abuse counselor at a drug rehab. I am also a graduate student attending classes online. I find it very difficult to attend traditional meetings because of the hours I work and attend school. I hope this can become a home for me.


Member: (Blade) Richard J.
Location: Teiumphant arch Fallon NV
Date: 3/10/2002
Time: 1:46:45 AM

Comments

Hi im alcoholic and I suffer from a disease called Richard. Very new in recovery, and doing quite well thanks to the steps, and my higher power I recently cleared the mechanism, and found a place beyond my wildest imaginations. ALL MEN OF FAITH HAVE COURAGE,and liquor was but a symptom.


Member: jae h.
Location: yakima wash
Date: 3/10/2002
Time: 1:56:44 AM

Comments

the fellowship of aa as a whole and the indivdual level is whats keeping me sober today


Member: Rebecca J
Location: Michiagan
Date: 3/10/2002
Time: 2:13:45 AM

Comments

I want to say to all the first times, you have a lot of courage and don't get discourged, we did not become alcohoics in one day, easy does it!!!!! My first AA meeting was back in 1998, I did not start working the program until eight months ago. The most important thing, I kept coming back.


Member: Rick
Location: still in my head
Date: 3/10/2002
Time: 2:58:29 AM

Comments

hello all the part of recovery that nessitates me to accept my live is unmanagable came by meeting other alcoholics face 2 face . seeing the miricales face 2 face . finding a higher power in an older wiser member until i was shown * THE 12 STEPS* being lead though the STEPS untill i was able to welcome MY higher power into my life . i believe this median of recovery does work but for my self i have to attend meetings , now not because i force myself to but because of the fellowship --- the love and care shown before ,during , and after the meeting can not be related here (certainly not by me anyhow ). to see GODS work is a miricale and to see living miricales at every A.A meeting is the gift of recovery SERINITY COURAGE WISDOM GIFTS FROM A.A thank you for letting me share GOD BLESS


Member: greg c.
Location: Japan
Date: 3/10/2002
Time: 8:34:54 AM

Comments

Hello, my name is greg and I'm an alcoholic. I wish I could say that I was succeeding at staying sober. Where I live, the AA fellowship is very small. I try to make it to meetings, but after a while I just slide off and then I'm back to my old self. I like AA, I wish I could say that it was keeping me sober. I don't know...........