Member: CHIEF Mc'tavish
Location: Burnaby B.C.
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 9:46:40 AM
The child with in. Early stages of recovery.A point of view, of self inthat after years of drinking and the use of other substancesI have found that I am so behind in the times every thing is a new learning process Iam 13 months sober and 5years with out drugs.It verytrue that the first yer is agift as I have found endless things to do with my life after surrending to alcoholand believing in Higher power This is my first time on line meetings so I Willtake 24and wish everyone the same
Member: CHIEF Mc'tavish
Location: Burnaby B.C.
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 9:47:16 AM
The child with in. Early stages of recovery.A point of view, of self inthat after years of drinking and the use of other substancesI have found that I am so behind in the times every thing is a new learning process Iam 13 months sober and 5years with out drugs.It verytrue that the first yer is agift as I have found endless things to do with my life after surrending to alcoholand believing in Higher power This is my first time on line meetings so I Willtake 24and wish everyone the same
Member: Dennis K
Location: PA
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 10:19:42 AM
Dennis K, alcoholic here. Good subject, Chief. I am only 9 days sober, and finally turned my life over to my Higher Power last Saturday, and did my moral inventory. I found that my problems started in my childhood, when I felt out of place and inferior. I've been thanking God for each beautiful day this week and praying every day for Him to take over my will and my life so that I can do His will. I'm seeing things in an entirely new way now, like when I was a child, full of wonder, calmness, and awe at the beauty of life seen through clear eyes. It sounds corny, but my child within is awake, alive and well now. Have a good 24. God bless.
Member: brian g
Location: CT
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 11:47:19 AM
Early recovery / child w/i... Good topics. I've been sober since 10/26/98 and i still thank god daily for helping me get / stay sober. Just remember to live in the moment. Stay focused and well rested. Life is not perfect. Everything will not always be great, BUT it is better that being drunk. You are now capable of dealing with problems. peace
Member: siobhan c.
Location: washington
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 1:14:32 PM
siobhan, alcoholic. great topic, chief! the early days, i remember them well. still revisit them from time to time. since i got sober, a mere 2 years 2months ago, i have found the world is a much bigger place. without the preoccupation with getting my next drink, i have the time and the inclination to actually participate in my own life. i'm no longer a victim of the events that unfold. a lot has to do with my ability to take responsibility for myself. but, just as brian(above) mentioned, i have to remember to take each event, each day, each moment as it comes. life is still unpredictable, sometimes even unpleasant, but without alcohol to muddy the waters and the lessons learned within AA, i am better equipped to deal with each day as it comes. i am more blessed than i have any right to be, so i thank God for AA and my sobriety and all of you out there in the trenches with me. thanks for letting me share and i'll type at you next week. stay with it, it is worth it!
Member: Mylene R.
Location: Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 1:50:31 PM
Alcoholic, Mylene R, great topic, I have 1 year and 8 months in and am dealing with a great deal in this 2nd year. After going through my first year of redoing everything for the 1st time, since the age of 14 (when I started using drugs and alcohol), I find myself feeling like a child again. I am a 16 in a 35 year old body. Learning to feel and deal with these feelings again are something very new and struggling, but with meetings, meditation, more meetings, fellowship, sponsor I am able to deal with it one day at a time.
Member: Helen W.
Location: Delaware
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 2:48:07 PM
Don't know much about the child within. They did tell me when I started drinking, I stopped growing emotionally. So I was basically a 12-year old walking around trying to deal with the life and responsibilities of a 30-year old. As an old-timer in my home group says, "it's a b***h growing up in public!"
Member: Carol B.
Location: Nevada
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 5:22:18 PM
Hello To All, Carol Alcoholic. My child within is still within and still very much the child. As for the "adult without", I thank God for the learning process CHIEF mentioned. Through the healing, growing and becoming a worthwhile sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous many wonderful and exciting experiences have happened to my life. I am fortunate to have found a way to deal with positive and negative emotions through my recovery program, something unknown while "under the influence". I won't go into how old my body is. But I will say that the insanity of my lifestyle was so prevalent my child within lost any innocence she may have known. Oh well, as we mature we learn what is important and what we need not concern ourselves with any longer. The 12 steps of this program make it all so very simple for us complicated people. Keep coming back and you will be amazed before you are halfway through.
Member: Betsy S
Location: Maryland
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 7:18:37 PM
As a child was never allowed friends (disfuncual family's don't allow outsiders) It made isolating as a drinking adult alot easier. That child still remains in recovery, and she is not making recovery any easier. I have managed to isolate myself even in recovery. I read my big book, but at meetings I keep to myself, I can't beleave I have been sober 18 months, and I am still that little girl who was'nt allowed to have friends. Just today I started questioning myself induced isolation. I don't have any answers just yet, but then yesterday I was not even questioning my behavior. All I knew was I was lonely.
Member: Harry K
Location: U.K
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 7:52:38 PM
Great topic! The longer I stay sober, the more that child of mine comes out to play. As was mentioned earlier, when I was in my first 2 years of sobriety, I still wanted to isolate and protect myself. The more I got to work on myself the more I learned that it was O.K to come out and play. I'm 50 years old and it took me 42 of those years to finally enable myself to enjoy my childhood. I love letting "little Harry" out. He really knows how to laugh and take things a little less "dramatic" than the older version. Of course I can do this today because I have the adult side of my nature making sure I don't cross the line. Sometimes life is just running and I got to keep the little guy in untill the work that needs to get done, gets done. But I believe that a large part of the gift that my GOD gave me in sobriety was giving me back the part of myself that I was never able to experience and enjoy. Now that I'm sober and have worked these steps,I can.
Member: Marv L
Location: Laurel,Ms
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 8:49:11 PM
Hi,Marv L.,alcoholic.Sure enjoyed wht you wrote,Chief! And,what others wrote about how life is new,or at least lived on a new basis..Almost 22 years ago,AA helped me get sober--and 48 years old,was so ashamed of the wasted years and failures in my past. Somehow I think facing life sober on lifes terms brings out that feeling of being new,and knowing we did bad things,but we werent bad people gives us hope! When I first heard the promises(page83)of ourtext,Alcoholics Anonymous,I wondered how CAN I ever know a new freedom,and a new happiness,but working the steps has brought that,and words cant tell how grateful I am this program WORKS!! Thanks for a great topic,hang in there it gets better all the time!!
Member: Kim V
Location: kvaughn@madison.main.nc.us
Date: 3/2/2003
Time: 9:41:45 PM
Kim V here alcholic. I once heard a story of a group in Canada, whose 12 steps on their wall read for step 2) to return us to responsiblity rather than sanity. I like that. It has been said that we stop growing emotionally when we start drinking or drugging. So I was a teenager with a bad attitude, in an adult body. It is a lot more painful growing up as an adult than it is growing up as a child. I grew up in prison. I grew up when I started taking responsiblity, being accountable and stopped feeling sorry for myself and stopped blaming all the past dysfunction from my childhood alcoholic home. I learned threw ACOA how to nuture my inner child and reparent my self and stop expecting my mother to be the mother I needed and wanted. Today my child within feels SAFE enough to come out to play. This has taken 6 1/2 years of soberity and numberous years in therapy and ACOA, to get me here. But there is no place in the world I would rather be. I do not regret any of my journey because it has helped shape me into who I am today. Besty I too can relate to not being aloud to have friends. Even if I were aloud to I would have been to embarassed to. But I have found that one misses out on the Joyous, happy and free part of AA without the FELLOWSHIP part of AA. It takes courage to reach out and get to know someone. I liteally forced myself to go to a small sized meeting and get up and tell everyone that I had just got out of prison, was new and needed help. It is hard to hide in AA after making a statement like that. Thanks for being here everyone.
Member: Rob G.
Location: Spokane
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 12:03:59 AM
I agree with Harry K. I've been sober for 5 months now, and as the weeks go on, I find it easier to laugh and look at things a little more lightheartedly.These last 5 months I've really been able to look at myself and and see the effects alcohol has had on my life beginning over 25 years ago
Member: Will J.
Location: Texas
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 12:18:14 AM
My child within comes out when I remember "rule #62", which reads, "Don't take yourself too damn seriously." This helps me to laugh at myself when I'm not perfect, which is 99.9% of the time. When I can laugh at myself I can learn and grow up in public because I'm not worried about my "image." When I'm in that place of humility I can let my Higher Power work me down to the bone. This is helpful not only in early sobriety but all throughout.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Chicago, IL
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 12:55:17 AM
Hey folks! Adam, alcoholic--grateful to be sober. To be perfectly frank, the child within me is King Baby... a ego-centric little brat who throws a dramatic temper tantrum when he can't accept life on life's terms. As shocked as I was to discover this--or more accurately put, to have my sponsor point it out to me--in my early sobriety, this knowledge about myself and my ego was very important in making that surrender to the disease of alcoholism. My sponsor pointed out to me that years worth of living life like a terminally dissatisfied child was the chief source of my problem, and that on my own power, behaving like that terminally dissatisfied child was the best I could (and would) ever do. Hard lesson, right? Well, the upside of all of this was that when I began to work the steps, I started to learn not only the ways in which King Baby's temper tantrums manifested themselves (e.g.--lying, stealing, fighting, self-pity and so forth), but also what "grown up" actions I could take (e.g.--being of service, praying, talking to another person, restraining pen and tongue) and what "grown-up" attitudes I could have (e.g.--gratitude, humillity, patience and acceptance) so that I could grow beyond being a kid walking around in an adult body. This has been a very slow and difficult process. Nearly seven years later, I am still learning how to do this, but it has really helped me learn how to get into the mainstream of life and be useful in the society of my fellows. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Annie K
Location: Blue Ridge Mountains
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 7:51:48 AM
Good topic, chief. Good to read all the posts...especially relate to the King Baby. LOL I know today that I carried all the childish behaviors with me forever, until I had done enough of the steps to get to know the real me. When I was able finally to understand the motives behind my behaviors, I was able to change. The child within today has that wondrous sense of discovery and awe, the ability to play, and to trust again. This child didn't have much of a childhood, and today, at 12 years of sobriety, I'm making up for lost time. New motto: It's never too late to have a happy childhood!
Member: Tom M.
Location: Homosassa, FL
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 10:52:22 AM
Hi, my name is Tom M. and I am a recovering alcholic. An interesting topic. One I know little about, so I will pass and listen to see what I can Learn. Thanks for the opportunity.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, OR
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 11:04:35 AM
I'm a another real alcoholic (page 21). When I was 11, I realized I was a homosexual. As I was living in a homophobic home with too many other dysfunctions, I knew only abject fear. That little boy only felt he had himself to rely on to figure it out. Naturally he became a little whacky. Drugs and alcohol brought some glorious relief from the fear and confusion, but unfortunately I am an alcoholic and the substances stopped working and only compounded the messed up thinking. After being thoroughly beaten near death by alcohol, I came to AA, worked/work the steps and for the first time in my life I found peace. I felt a joyful bliss and I finally felt I was a part of something real for the first time. A couple months ago I "came out" to my best friend, a man I sponsored for several years. He said it was not a problem for him, but he has not talked to me since (we used to talk and get together regularly). Suddenly I found myself being that scared 11 year old again, fearful, angry and wanting to lash out at you and the world. I've been behaving in an "emotional relapse" avoiding people and meetings, staying alone feeling sorry for myself. Thanks to AA I know there is a loving God and when the I'm done feeling hurt, there is a plan for me this willful child can't even imagine while he's still acting up.
Member: Robert H
Location: Columbus, OH.
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 12:15:27 PM
Hello, Robert, an alcoholic. I think that the "child within" is one of the most interesting and wonderful experiences I have had since becoming sober. I am learning how to feel, be happy, be patient, basically all of those emotions that I avoided while drinking. Sometimes it is difficult, because like a child, I can become impatient, sad without warning, my emotions are very strong now, and I am learning things that others have known for years. However, just like a child, I can be happy for no reason, see the good and joy in the little things, and learn new things everyday! www.alcoholrecovery.net
Member: Rene
Location: Quebec
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 3:34:08 PM
Hello all. i don't know if i really care to share on 'the child thing.. to complicated for me. all i know is as an alkie i can be childish or childlike. (((Craig))) i really feel for you... and understand its a very difficult place for you to be in.. but when you learn more about getting out of yourself.. you'll soon happily discover, that no-one has to accept your gay.. nobody 'has to agree with it' and no-body 'has to care' and if your going to chose to tell someone about it..then don't expect them 'not to have thier very own feelings about it' gee wiz Craig.. we're here to get sober..and you can do that whether your gay or into sheep or anything else.. so get back to meetings. your alright man... if you want to be gay that's your bizness...anyone who has good sobriety and an understanding of the program will never shun you away because your gay.. and those that do shun you have a problem.. just be glad its not yours..
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 3:57:20 PM
Hi Bill here alcoholic from Arizona. When I was a child, I did childish things. When I became an adult I did not put away my childish things. I became an alcoholic. When I got into recovery, I was nearly 30 years behind in growing up. Growing old is mandatory. Growing up is optional. Love ya, Bill email az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Pete H
Location: AZ
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 4:45:56 PM
Pete,recovered alcoholic here........I love little Pete. He's enjoying life one day at a time. Today it's a thinking problem, not a drinking one. Craig.....GET BACK TO MEETINGS PAL. Most people who go back to drinking stop their meetings first. That's your disease telling you you don't have a disease. OUR prayers will be and are with you. We WILL love you until you learn to LOVE YOURSELF. Yours in sobriety,Pete H
Member: Dan D
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 5:24:51 PM
Hello I'm Daniel and I'm an alcoholic, I attend a home group that stresses not drinking and staying close to the group. When I here phrases that remind me of all of my nut house experiances I am reminded that psychology wasn't the answer, spirituality found in the AA group is, atleast for me. Alot of us would have sobered up long ago if all we needed to do was talk about our 'feelings'. I did that for years and continued to get drunk. What seems to work best for hard cases like myself is continued work with other alcoholics. This gets me out of myself enough to restore some sanity to my heart and mind.
Member: Darrin W.
Location: Pacific NW
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 5:52:26 PM
Darrin W. here and I'm an alcoholic. I echo Dan's remarks above and have also learned to listen to other alcholics the new folks into the program still have the message I need to here. I'm coming up on my 2nd year "AA" birthday at the end of the month and it sure feels good. I'm new to this Cyber AA but I thought I would give it a try and see what else AA has to offer. Staying sober is still just one day at a time and I have to thank my higher power for keeping me safe and sober!!
Member: Kevin C.
Location: Atlanta
Date: 3/3/2003
Time: 8:14:51 PM
I don't know much about the child within, probably because I haven't found sobriety yet.I finally realized just today that I am destroying my family.Reading all of your postings gives me hope that it is possible to beat this disease. I don't really even know where to start but I know I can't do it alone and I need help. Please just pray for me that I can find sobriety like the rest of you already have.Keep on keepin on!!
Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 1:39:06 AM
Jeff alcoholic. I started drinking at age 12 or 13, just a snort or two when i found my dads bottles, before he sobered up. About the same age i started doing drugs too so i would not end up an alcoholic like him. (that didnt work eather) I sobered up at age 21. So this march 10th i will be 14 yrs sober. (God willing) If my math is correct i should be all grown up by now. I still make mistakes, i dont always say please or thank you but, i`m still sober today. At times i still let my mind race & i re-act instead act. My life before AA was nothing, i had nothing, i was nothing.... but a drunk. Yes even in such a short drinking career. I missed the best years of a young mans life, looking at it from the bottom of a bottle, afraid to live & scared to die. So i guess if this is all the better life is going to get then fine with me i`ll take it, thank you. Cause just when i dont think it can get any better... it does.
Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 2:18:12 AM
These lyrics say it better than I could. Fleetwood Mac/ Landslide took my love, i took it down climbed a mountain and i turned around and i saw my reflection in the snow covered hills 'til the landslide brought it down oh, mirror in the sky -what is love? -can the child within my heart rise above? -can i sail thru the changin' ocean tides? -can i handle the seasons of my life? i don't know..... well, i've been afraid of changin' 'cause i've built my life around you but time makes you bolder even children get older and i'm getting older too oh, take my love, take it down climb a mountain and turn around -and if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills well the landslide will bring it down -and if you see my reflection in the snow covered hills well the landslide will bring it down the landslide will bring it down
Member: t-bone
Location: S fla
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 5:58:00 AM
T-bone grateful drunk who has a chance today to repeat yesterday and have a God guided 24 hours of sobriety. My childhood was normal except for that one incident with the sheep Rene was talking about earlier. Other than that it was not all that BAAAAAAAHD. LOL
Member: Terry
Location: Ohio
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 11:14:22 AM
The child within. Now I know that I am growing up because of the steps and this program. I have to be in great pain to make the change and that is only with the help of my higher power and A.A. This child can be mature and immature. Sometimes my daughter is way wiser and older than I am at the time. I am grateful for this program.
Member: Lessa E
Location: Chicago
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 3:17:13 PM
Lessa E here, very grateful recovering alcoholic. Thanks for the topic, chief. I started drinking as a teenager. As a result, when I got sober, I still reacted to life as a teenager. While I've 'grown up' some, I like what AzBill pointed out....it's a choice. I find these days, I'm sorry to say, that I CHOOSE to revert back to my "inner child"-ishness. When I first came to the tables, I was anxious for approval -just like when I was a kid. I gradually learned to speak from my heart and not seek approval...if I got it, it was alright, if not, it was alright too. However, as much as I think I've grown up, I recently brought up something that was going on in my life with a group of alkies. And a lot of folks disagreed. And I found myself reverting back to my chidlish self who wanted to do what most would do, not what I needed to do. SIGH...guess I'll keep coming back. lessa_e@Hotmail.com As much as I think I've grown up sometimes, though, I'll still revert back to that "inner childISH" person.
Member: carlene m
Location: california
Date: 3/4/2003
Time: 11:21:09 PM
today i have 69 days. i had a year about 6 years ago but the scared little child in me had herself a sip of wine and there it went from that. i was too ashamed to admit my mistake and lie about my sobriety which is just what i did when i was a child. i remember my mother telling me one time "little white lies" are okay so i justified everything i did. now i am once again trying to be a grownup and learning that being honest is "okay". tomorrow i dothe 3rd step with my sponsor and i'm really excited about. once that is done i feel there is no turning back because i will be giving it "all to god" and it is a forever thing. thank you for letting me share.
Member: cindy p
Location: bristol pa
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 10:29:30 AM
i am cindy,alcky from penna...thought i'd try out this site as a supliment to meetings...deep subject...here goes...after i did my 5th step and learned to look around at other people.... i started to see that we are all children of God... makes live and let live alot easier...
Member: Pinky
Location: 4 x 4
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 1:07:16 PM
Thanks for the topic, CHIEF. I love the child who resides inside of me. She’s playful and loving a sober life :-) Discovering life without drinking is a whole new experience. It’s like going on a ‘blind date’ – not knowing what surprises will surface as I apply the steps to me. As I change, I see the world around me change. It’s so exciting! Deleting laying expectations on any one and any thing seems to open doors and windows that alcohol had once closed shut. An attitude of gratitude, I face the world and all it offers with a snicker and a smile. How the world receives me, I’ve noticed is how far along they are in having love and tolerance in their hearts. Some wrap their arms around me. Some lay a small kiss on my cheek. Others seem to be taken by me – not sure if I’m serious or joking. A few walk away. The ones that stay close, I allow to get to know me as I discover them. :-) This sober living is undeniably awesome!
Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 3:39:03 PM
Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. I felt SO old when I first came into A.A. Used up, beat up, worn out and Tired! People said "be nice to your inner child", and I had no idea what they were talking about. I hadn't played, barely laughed, didn't trust, share, love, etc, in years. My life was a shambles. My sponsor and home group said "don't worry about it. Don't worry about anything. Just don't drink and keep coming back. Use the slogans. Be Honest Open and Willing. Get a sponsor, and TALK to her daily if possible about your questions and thoughts. Get into action. Keep coming until the miracle happens...until you want to come...until you love yourself the way we love you now...etc. One day at a time (sometimes 5 minutes at a time at first), by being responsible to my sobriety and open/willing to do what I was told, I started hurting less, laughing more, and growing. I learned to love the other drunks first, and eventually myself. It's amazing to me that by growing up in AA, I'm feeling younger and free-er than ever. By turning it over, I've gotten it back. I love the dichotomies in A.A. What a wild program. Thanks all for being here, and giving of yourselves.
Member: coreyk
Location: Indiand
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 7:22:18 PM
hi im corey im an alcoholic. Im new in the program and on the computer. I just went through a bad breake up. I'm starting to see how the emotional part of recovery seems to be the hardest. My mind is going in ten differant directions. I'm trying to deal with this without drinking whitch is something i've never done before. If it is at all possible could i please get some suggestions.
Member: AZbill
Location: From AZbill
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 7:29:19 PM
HI Corey K... Call your sponsor, Call a friend. Find a meeting. Find an AA club if you have them in Indy. AA meetings and clubs are listed in you phone book White pages Yellow pages or both. One way or another get into recovery, FAST.. Bill az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Kate R
Location: New Zealand
Date: 3/5/2003
Time: 7:55:59 PM
I've just celebrated one year of sobriety and I feel great but also know I have so much to learn but I have the willingness to do the steps keep going to the meetings. Life is so much better now I just know my higher power is looking after me and is happy that I am sober. I dont know if this is my inner child but since being sober I have been getting to know my sponsers children. I think being around children again brings out the inner child in me. I sit on the floor with them and play with their toys watch video's and just chat. It reminds me of what its like to be a kid again but in a good way not in the 'I'm a 13 year old who hasnt grown up yet kind of way'. I used to have alot to do with kids then moved to another city where I knew no-one with children and kind of forgot how to be a kid myself.
Member: Frank D
Location: Vancouver WA
Date: 3/6/2003
Time: 9:41:43 PM
Hi all, I'll be frank I am an alcoholic. What a awesome thought on to a feeling " the child with in". First, thanks Kate that was beautiful. How simple and real it is that AA has given us back through our HP " the child with in". This program has given me back, plus, a real life, free from that King alcohol. Growing up again is special, knowing your not alone, seeing others in AA going through much the same as yourself, sharing your feeling, your growth. AA is my day by day new awaking. Thanks to all who shared, nice topic, and God Bless Us All!!!!!!!
Member: Ray C
Location: Haines Alaska
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 4:28:34 AM
Hi all...Ray an alcoholic here.A.A.'s been like the dylan tune I was so much older then I'm younger than that now.More I hang around the more I learn about myself and dealing with life in general.I also realize how little I do know in comparison to my spiritual influences.Good subject enjoyed your comments.
Member: Kathy K.
Location: Northeast
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 5:06:30 AM
Corey K - Please go to Early Sobriety and post. Bet you'll find lots of help there.
Member: CG
Location: Apache Junction, AZ
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 11:09:29 AM
Hello Everyone, CG alcholic here. I seem to always be in the process of trying to do everything perfect to make up for a not so perfect past [drunk]. Every once in a while someone in the group mentions Rule 62 and I realize I have to AGAIN hand it all over to A Power Greater Than Myself. Once I can do that [effort required on my part] I can enjoy my day, occupation, the people around me and the good things in life. At 40 it has given me the ability to deal with the 'not so good things in my life', and come through them still wanting to be a part of that life. It is a stunner to try growing up at 40, but it's bette then the alternative! I am very privlaged to be a part of this program and participate in these meetings. There is something to learn from you'all every time I show up. Thank you for letting me share! CG
Member: Bob B
Location: UK
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 11:20:53 AM
Hi Bob here and I'm an alcoholic. So I'm not alone in feeling that I'm still a child inside, albeit inside an aging body. Maybe alcoholics don't really grow up emotionally like normal people. Trying to work the AA programme has probably been the first time I've faced myself and it ain't altogether pretty. I'm still as capable of causing emotional pain for myself and others in sobriety as when I was practicing. Only thing is that now I've got to live with the consequences - there is no bottle to hide in. Still sobriety beats practicing alcoholism anyday and I thank my higher power for the moment in time when he finally showed me that I didn't have to fight alcohol anymore - I could just let go.
Member: Lisa H
Location: NE Texas
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 12:18:40 PM
Hello, I'm Lisa an alcoholic and because AA works and by Gods grace I haven't drank since 3/28/95, (coming up on 8 years) one day at a time. I'm totally new to cyber meetings and have enjoyed what everyone has shared. I can relate to King Baby and love Annie's motto. I know for me that I have grown up in AA and continue to do so. I was a spoiled, ungrateful, attention seeking BRAT. I remember early sobriety feeling the pink cloud, trying to save the world...LOL, then going thru a "take everything serious" phase. The Big Book says that we insist on enjoying life, and I'm finally there today...today anyway! I recently asked an old timer about the roller coaster of feelings and how I just feek OK with everything. He said that's called maturity. I wish all of you the best and may God bless you and keep you-until then.
Member: Colleen D
Location: New York
Date: 3/7/2003
Time: 10:13:44 PM
Hi everybody. So glad I found you. Haven't been able to make as many meetings as I need this week. Working crazy hours. Anyway, I feel a lot better after identifiying with so much that was said. After six months of sobriety, I am finding that my inner child is very afraid. Afraid of being vulnerable. Afraid of not being perfect. But I also find that every time I step up to meet one of those fears, I am rewarded. Most of the time it turns out that the things I am afraid of are not really that difficult at all. I have just blown them out of proportion in my mind. And it gets a little easier every time. This program and my (still very new) relationship with my HP give me more strength that I have ever known. Love what Harry said. I'm trying to take myself a whole lot less seriously everyday. Take care, everyone.
Member: Pat W
Location: NY
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 12:38:33 AM
Hi All, I've only been sober a week but reading all your posts has helped me. just taking thnigs a day at a time. Listening to all of you helps me know it will get better. God Bless.
Member: Diana L
Location: Oregon
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 3:17:44 AM
Hello everyone. This is my first time on here and I am really glad to find this on line. I have 8 months clean, and I have attended meetings regularly until I had an accident and hurt my back. Now I stay at home a lot and I miss my meetings. Since I am new to this type of aa meeting, i will sit back and observe this time. Thank you all for being here for me.
Member: Jackie L.
Location: Pa.
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 2:52:07 PM
Hi Everyone, Good to be in A.A. with all of you wise, willing and courageous souls. Thank you all for sharing yourselves with me. It gives me strength. CRAIG, I promise you that I had been missing you and started out on this page just to scan it and see if you were here at all. Of course, the sharing captured me and so I read my way down to you. Please keep coming back and posting. I always get so much out of your "shares". You've ministered hope and wisdom to my soul. Thanks for that. Today I am feeling grateful for my faith that God does love me and that He has a plan for my life. I am also grateful that in this very day , if I live the program, I can rest assured that I AM in God's will. And, thanks again!
Member: TaraL
Location:
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 4:16:54 PM
The Child Within: Im young and Thank God Everyday for My children and My Life... I have had 2 DUI's in the past and It will NEVER happen again, Because I will not drink anymore.. My life has been pretty good except for the trouble with the alcohol...I have attended meetings and really learned alot ..I wish you all the best, and May God bless ..
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 5:26:45 PM
I'm Chris __I'm an alcoholic/addict/bulimic---I like what someone said that it is never too late to have your childhood...Isn't it funny that we addicts and alcoholics for the most part have lost our childhoods?..I am so greatful that we have each other to share this journey with. I am in therapy now, and am learning how to communicate my true feelings in a healthy way, because in my childhood, I never was allowed or taught how to do that...It feels so good and I realize that it is not as UNSAFE as I thought. I feel that as I learn to do that, the child within is released more and more, and she is being allowed to appear and have some fun..I am really looking forward to that time when she is truly free. I am greatful now that she is learning how to take care of herself...Thanks to the program of A.A. , I am learning how to live one day at atime, and in a new and healthy way..Love to all...and to a sober 24hrs.
Member: Cindyc
Location: NC
Date: 3/8/2003
Time: 8:16:49 PM
Hello Cindy and alcoholic. I too have heard that emotionally we stop growing up when our addictions take over. I was also a child of alcoholic family. To some degree I feel that I am just now getting to enjoy things sober that as a child I was not able to experience. Thru learning not to feel and having to play "the parent" role My alcholism lead to a dual person... The child who didn't grow up due to my addiction. and the child who had to pretend to be an adult. I am now happily raising my own son in a sober and sane household and rediscovering life through his eyes as well as giving him a chance to have a real childhood. If that isn't a miricle today, I don't know what is. The difference in the way I feel about myself and life is wonderful. To those of you who are parents, know what a gift growing up with your child is... Thanks Higher Power...
Member: Chuck B.
Location: Denver
Date: 3/9/2003
Time: 1:20:28 AM
I'm not so sure about a child within thing. Seems to me that alcoholism just made me feel old. Cranky, cynical, angry, worn out and basically out of touch. Although I've only been sober for 14 days I feel younger. But not really a victim of some sort of arrested development. Anyway it sure is nice to feel younger when you're pushin' 50!!!
Member: Chuck B.
Location: Denver
Date: 3/9/2003
Time: 1:21:27 AM
I'm not so sure about a child within thing. Seems to me that alcoholism just made me feel old. Cranky, cynical, angry, worn out and basically out of touch. Although I've only been sober for 14 days I feel younger. But not really a victim of some sort of arrested development. Anyway it sure is nice to feel younger when you're pushin' 50!!!
Member: Chuck B.
Location: Denver
Date: 3/9/2003
Time: 1:21:55 AM
I'm not so sure about a child within thing. Seems to me that alcoholism just made me feel old. Cranky, cynical, angry, worn out and basically out of touch. Although I've only been sober for 14 days I feel younger. But not really a victim of some sort of arrested development. Anyway it sure is nice to feel younger when you're pushin' 50!!!
Member: Roxy M.
Location: Boise,ID
Date: 3/9/2003
Time: 2:44:08 AM
Hello,my name is Roxy and I'm an alcoholic.It's my 1st time here.I will be 9 months sober next week.Started drinking at 10yrs old and was a full blown alcoholic at 14.Spent the next 25yrs trying to figure out why life was so horrible.I skipped childhood completely.My inner child was a selfish self centered brat.But today,with the help of my Higher Power and AA I am sober.Once I started taking my steps,my inner child started to change also.She is learning to be happy,joyess and free.What a blessing it is to be able to start life over again at the age of 37 and see it's beauty through the eyes of a child that lives in the sunshine of the Spirit.What a gift!
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 3/9/2003
Time: 6:39:27 AM
I am an alcoholic to me early stages of recovery forced on me with no choice or alternative either I loose my licence and job or I accept the recovery process I dont regret a bit that I choose to join aa it has been 5 years and I would not ever forget that I had nealy died of withdrawals which lasted almost over 6 weeks then I lost and had to recover my memory which took another months.I noticed what I was person with low selfesteem selfworthness Thank GOD who gave me another chance to live another life to see another day/thanks to aa.