Member: Joyce
Location: OH
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 10:26:13 AM
We get better, have a life now, and just like our addiction, we want more and more of life, we get overwhelmed, stressed out, want to drink, it seems like a vicious cycle...
Member: DRY IN THE DESERT
Location: NEVADA
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 12:13:07 PM
SPONSORSHIP FOR A TOPIC PLEASE.....
Member: cahal a
Location: ireland
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 12:29:11 PM
i need help my life is in peices
Member: wouter
Location: neth.
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 1:02:48 PM
wouter here, alkie and 19 mnths sober today. i need help too, but i know i can find it in myself now. i do need people around me, i do need this site and i do need the literature. but what i need most of all is myself. just look to the man i am now and the one i used to be for so long. sometimes i feel it wasn't all that bad but then, when i walk around town, i start remebering the stupid things i used to do. all around town: no money, little rooms, loosy jobs, lonely years, selfish tears, hangovers, throwing up, a few fights, a couple of accidents, broken relationships.
i know i was in deep shit, now i have quited for the last time: never again. i am new now, i am the man i always was but i didn't know for a long time. now i love that guy. he is strong, creative and happy. he is me.
do eat your vitamines, remember: strong mind in a strong body. thanks for being out there.
Member: glen W.
Location: chicago
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 1:52:49 PM
Hi All,
3 months sober, but God came into my life and let me know I'm in the right place,. Tried for years to quit drinking but couldn't do it by myself. Working the 4th step had a spiritual experience and he told me he would be there for me and to work the steps together so I can better serve other alcohlics in the future. thanks for being there for me
Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 2:00:47 PM
Mark, alocholic. Hmmm, 15 years, 6 months, and 25 days and I still don't do this too well. Must be why I keep doing the same things I've been taught over the years. Simple stuff like; Do not drink or use, under any circumstances. Hit knees, go to meetings, read the big book, make contact daily with another sober member. If I do those things daily, I gotta chance to make it another day. Thats a big deal for a real dope fiend alcoholic like me. See, anything is better than the way it was. Waking up in clean sheets, instead of pissy or shitty sheets is infinately better. I gotta be reminded of stuff like that daily, cuz I got a great memory, it's just short regarding booze and dope. Beautiful day out today, it's going to get up into the 20's, and for here at this time of the year, that's a heatwave. Keep the faith.
Mark
Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 2:09:49 PM
My name is James and I'm an alky. I'm what they used to call a page 21 alcoholic. I did all the stuff Wouter did and then some. That was, I found out later, simply drunken behavior. Any one who drinks alot gets that crap! But what about the real alcoholic? That was a problem I had not thought of. A disease they called it! of all the nerve . Wasn't this alcoholism thing just a drinling problem? For me, NO! That just didn't fill the blank spots in my head, heart, or spirit.That didn't explain what happened to me when I DIDN'T drink or alot of other questions. I'm not hear to explain the disease of alcoholism, but only to share my experience, strenght, and hope with you guys. I did not quit drinking in AA or on line. My last drink drink was lifted from me 1/185 in a parking lot at 6:30am because I asked God (tho I didn't know it at the time) for help, that this desire to be sober more than anything came from deep deep within. I don't stay sober on-line, or on the phone. Those things help some. I stay sober by the 12 steps, grace of God, live meetings, and a face to face, eye to eye, ear to ear with a sponsor. This is simply where I get clear er exlplanations to the living sober problems I run into. This guy knows everything about me so he has a better view of the things I've so handily hid from my self. God bless sponsors. We have a saying in the mountains, "All you need in this life is an honest friend". Sponsors are simply (to me) an honest friend. Honest friends were the last thing I wanted in life and I didn't ask some one until sobriety sucked so bad I had no choice. He walked me through the steps, traditions, and concepts. It was struggle to keep to that deal and be willing to go to any lengths to achieve sobriety. Sponsors? I found mine at a live meeting.
I'm being taught to reach for spiritual solutions to everyday stuff and how to help other people. How to play nice with the other kids. This is all still so very new to me, that I'm still teachable, sober and sane around alcohol by the grace of God and the fellowship of AA. If a message from God came into my head, I'd still have to call my sponsor. write annie@ocinet.net Please, read the Big Book Thanks for 12 stepping this drunk James L.
Member: Bonnie B
Location: Reno, NV
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 2:30:24 PM
Hello: Easy does it!!! Moderation are two suggestions to feeling overwhelmed. Balancing our new life, at home, work, meetings, etc. is very important for keeping sober and happy. Also, we must have people in our lives to talk to, a sponsor being one. Someone who we will be honest with to bounce ideas off of, and give us another point of view. EASY DOES IT !!!
Member: Ed
Location:
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 4:00:34 PM
Name's Ed, I'm an alcoholic, on my third day sober. It's hard to swallow. I keep trying to keep the memory of all the fucked up shit I've done fresh in my mind. The memories want to fade away, so I can go back and drink again. I'm trying to keep them in the front of my mind, so I don't go out and get wasted. I'm trying to see the similarities in meetings, not the differences. All the broken bones, car accidents and fights seem to fade out of my consciousness when I think about a beer. I've had enough of that shit, and I know I deserve better. Thanks for being out there.
Member: Mark C.
Location: NYC
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 4:28:24 PM
Hi, I'm Mark, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober four months now, and I don't have a sponsor, and I don't plan to get one. I don't think they are necessary. In fact, I think they can be counter-productive, by making sobriety more complicated than it needs to be. I got sober thanks to this online group and, more recently, I've been staying that way thanks to the LSRmail group at www.unhooked.com. This is a secular group, which is great for people who don't like gods and stuff.
But my theory is that whatever works is worth working. Being drunk all the time is so incredibly shitty that anything, absolutely anything, that help stop it is worth it.
Mark C.
Member: rena
Location: new mexican
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 5:34:49 PM
what is the topic here anyway????????
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 6:08:45 PM
"Help" is mentioned in or around what ever the topic turns out to be; I'll leave that open for my part. But as for 'help, one must be carefull these days; There are two kinds of help that I'm thinking of, and a third, maybe there are more than two, but not having searched them all out I'll speak of these two types of help and a third that I know of. One type is: if I consider a drawning man, the type of help that rescues the man, perhaps he is thrown a rope and thereby pulled to shore. The other type of help is: if I consider a drawning man, the assistance type of help, the kind that pushes his head under water?! Now both of these could be called help, could they not? One has the mans best interests at heart, and the other does not. A friend, its been said, is one that has your best interests at heart. Now I for one, have experienced both of these two types of help, the one that rescues and the one that assists, and now I tell you verily of a third, which is: When I am asked at any of these retail stores the magic question: "Can I help you?" I know in a moment that I am not welcome there; So I ask, What kind of help could this be, prey tell? I don't think that its either one of these two kinds of help I listed above, or is it? Its even a whole nother language, (get that word: "nother," which is neither here nor there?) In other words:~ The ear testeth words as in a glass, even face to face;~ So then to leave off the question and move on to the answer as I see it, or to solve this mystery of this unwelcomeness that is meant by these words: 'can I help you' when in fact the whole underling message is that in my case withal, the customer, is no longer always right, but in fact even unwelcome? When I think of the these two types of help listed above, this last example must be the assistance type, the kind that pushes a drawning mans head under water! Or in this case: the assistance comes by showing me to the door! To solve the matter of the third type then before I close these lines, lest I leave anyone perplexed, It is so with me that this unwelcome has only been the condition against me since I turned my will and my life over to the care of God and left the world; it was only then that the world, who loves its own, has deprivledged me, being aware of this very fact, that I'm no longer named among them, even as its written it shall be. If any were to ask one of these clerks to explain this mystery they could not, only that they sense that I'm not welcome, this unwelcome that the children of God experience from the world then is the paradox of the program as I see it....
Member: Josh B
Location: Sycamore
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 6:46:52 PM
help is a good topic.That's what we're all here for any, right? I know I need help with this. I've been in and out of the rooms for 7 years now and haven't got it right yet. Tonight will be my 1st meeting since being sober (this time). I've been without a drink for 6 days now, I know that I don't want to go back to it (for now) but don't know how long that will last by myself. I've been strugling with the idea of going back since last Saturday night and came to the realization that I need to if I have any chance at all of staying sober. Help is going to keep me sober today and that is what I need. Thanks for being here!!!
Member: Michael B.
Location: AZ
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 7:44:00 PM
Hi! My name is Michael, and I am a recovering alcoholic and addict, sober today only by the Grace of God and the Fellwoship. Welcome newcomers! Thanks to those who genuinely shared!
Help is a good topic, and I found help for my alcoholism in AA and from my Higher Power.
For quite a few years, I chaired AA meetings in treatment facilities, and as such, I encountered alcoholics from all kinds of backgrounds--some rich and some poor, some homeless and some with nice homes, some educated and some illiterate etc. etc. And it is precisely because of these encounters that it eventually becme clear to me the answer for all alcoholics who turn to AA for help is basically the same--don't drink, go to meetings, take the suggestions, and apply the Steps.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 7:55:37 PM
Hi. Bill here Alcoholic from Arizona. Not only a great topic, but a necessary one. My first sponsor was sober one day and I was sober seven days. A great story behind that. Email me if you wish to hear it.
The first thing I do with a new sponsee is to go through the pamphlet on Sponsorship. This gives us both the do's and the don'ts. First of all it is pointed out in there that sponsor and sponsee meet as equals. Just as Bill and Bob did in 1935. One alcholic helping another.
The main job of the sponsor is to help the sponsee get through the first 164 pages of the Big Book. More specifically help the sponsee go through the steps. The big book is written in archaic, upper New England language. The key to understanding the Big Book is to understand how Bill Wilson wrote.
The most important thing for me to realize is that I must keep my opinions out of it. What is written in the book is precisely how the first 40 to 100 got sober. The program of AA is not how I got sober. It is about how WE got sober. In that vein, I will not tell you how to work the Steps I will show you how to work the Steps. I do the Steps right along side of my sponsees.
And finally. I owe my sponsors nothing. They did it to save their own butt. Sponsorship is not considered service work. Likewise, my sponsees owe me nothing. They owe it to the next person that comes down the pike. That is my reward. To send a newcomer out and watch him/her help another alcoholic.
Thank you very much I love you,
Bill
az-bill@primenet.com
Member: Philomena G.
Location: California
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 8:04:31 PM
Sponsors are a true element in working this program. It's not a (me) program it is a (we) program. Our egos are how alot of us got here. Yes me,for one,thought I could take care of everything on my own. I had God in my life, but everytime I took that first sip,it blocked off the spiritual flow. I know there are the ones out there who don't believe in God. May I suggest believing in these meetings as a Higher power. It was my drinking that got me here, I thank G for leading me to meetings. I know that is how it was suppose to be. I am 6 yrs & 3 mos sober had asked at least 5 different women to sponsor me. They just said call me. Me being the independent person, I didn't pick up the phone. Finally after going to enough meetings and really searching for a woman who was walking her walk and talking her talk I found one who I asked again. Thank G for her. She specifically said to call her on certain nights, and started with me on working the Steps. This is so important for each of us that we have another individual to work this program. How are we suppose to be able to do the steps without guidance from someone whose been there done that. We on our own don't know the way to work the steps. I am so greatful for this program. This is the first time I have ever gone online and shared. I have always gone to meetings around here in California. I wasn't able to find this internet until one of my friends told me about it this morning. I hope all of you keep coming back. Remember it's One day at a time. Sometimes it is one moment at a time. Just don't pick up that first drink. Don't take that first sip. God bless you all
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake
Date: 2/18/01
Time: 8:16:56 PM
Hi everyone; Bob alcoholic here. Good topic Joyce.
My expereince with 'overwhelmed', 'stressed out', and handling sober life sober, despite cravings, was finding out over time that life sober is real, and slow, and sometimes real slow, as far as my feeling better, peaceful and spiritually centered is concerned. I found that having a spiritual program as a large part of the recovery program in A.A., was and is THE most important thing for me. I believe people are fallable, prone to error...it's the nature of us, not a mistake. The concept of "G~d is me but I'm not G~d" has had growing significance in my life for developing acceptance of things as they are...which I sometimes do fairly well, and sometimes not, which makes my point. As uncomfortable as I was in my skin, with life and with other people, getting sober introduced me to who I really was. And tolerating that without alcohol, despite the fact that alcohol had stopped working, was frightening and overwhelming. I had to be able to give the discomfort, fear and craving for a "fix" to a higher power, something bigger than me. I do believe I get drunk, and we get sober. So for me, the "we" is the fellowship (all of you), and my higher power and me.
Thanks for letting me share. G~d's grace and love heal us little by slowly. Bob
Member: HIPOLITO R.
Location: CHI-TOWN
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 2:46:16 AM
Hi,Hipolito alcoholic sober today thought the grace of God and the fellowship of the AA program.My sponser God bless him always said God doesn't give you to much to handle always keep your priorities in order, it's one day at a time we do the best we can on a daily basis,being an active alcoholic and addict was no easy task i'll take today any time ,thanks!!
Member: katie
Location: AMsterdam, NL
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 5:11:45 AM
hmmmm...never been on one of these before...I am visiting my brother in Amsterdam, trying to find a meeting around here. Didn't really count on all the feelings that kicked my butt as a child being the youngest and left out, to come up here, as an adult, visiting my brother and his new baby, so I wanted to check in with some sanity. I had a sponsor almost immediately--someone to guide me through the steps, and I am now sponsoring someone. Makes you walk you talk, is how `I look at it, stead of just talking B.S. Weird to walk around a city and smell pot, and I do not wantto be in a coffee house where people are smoking....All I know is,I have a higher power today, and I need to pray more while I am here, To ease these feelings of LESS THAN that always seem to come up around my family, and to remember that I have a familynow, of AA, and this is a trp of a lifetime, and that I am one of God's Children. Good topic though, even if I didnt really address it
Member: renee
Location:
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 9:49:36 AM
hi,my name is Renee and i am an alcoholic. i am only sober 2 days now. I drove drunk with my kids friday night.We made it home alive. I feel alone. This is not the first attempt for me at sobriety.I am 29 . I am an emotional wreck. I am in need of some real advice . (ps) i don't know what the topic is here forgive me.
Member: Von
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 12:40:37 PM
Bill from AZ, you always speak to my heart. That's the point of this "we" program. My sponsor taught me that "what comes from the heart, goes to the heart". So with the sponsorship topic, I feel blessed to have the sponsor I have today. She was the third sponsor I had, but I don't fault the other two. They were perfect for me at that time, because that's where I was. When I first came in, I trusted no one, especially women, but I found a kind gentle woman to cling to. All she told me was to get to meetings, she never mentioned the big book or the program. After a while I needed a program, so I found another person who was a kick butt, no nonense person. She introduced me to the 4 absolutes and carried a big whip. After a while, her style became depressing and counter-productive because she was so harsh. I then accepted a sponsor,since September 1999, who has guided and led me through the program. What I'm trying to say is everyone my Higher Power sends me helps me. I talk to her every week, and I attend her home group. We attend each others leads and sometimes do stuff together. This weekend, we are going on a camping trip with 25 others.
I sponsor today but I can only give what I've been given. You can't give away what I haven't got. So far I'm successful, because I'm still sober. That's the whole point of sponsorship...for me to give what was so freely given in order for me to grow in spirituality and sobriety.
Regarding the hectic lifestyle, when I was out there using, I earned 3 degrees, owned a business, worked a full-time job, ran a household, and sat on many committees. It's only in sobriety that I have learned that those were behaviors I used to escape the reality that I was drowning and dying inside. I hated silence, could never sit still, and hated to be by myself. Today, my schedule is cut way back and I only do what's in front of me. It's neat how I have more time, but am also more productive and make more money. It seems that part of learning to live, in my case, was learning to prioritize and balance my life. I don't need to be everything to everybody and I've learned to say "no". I've learned to wait and keep things very simple. My top priority is staying sober and helping other alcoholics. Everything else falls into place.
If you're new, don't drink, go to meetings, study the big book, learn to be honest, and get a good foundation especially in the first 3 steps. Then let go and let God. Never forget, easy does it.
Member: Philomena G.
Location: So California
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 12:45:31 PM
I am Philomena,I am an alcoholic,the topic is sponsorship. I shared on that yesterday. At this time I would like to share about when we first get here. What worked best for me was getting to a meeting every night after work. I know that if I didn't I would have went back out. My addiction of choice was alcohol. My craving for the drink each night was so strong. I was drinking mostly alone,and would drink about a litre of straight Canadian Whiskey a night. I know that I had to do something about it. I had hit my bottom in my being so ashamed of myself,things I kept doing after I drank. I wanted help in not having to continue on this insane merrygoround. I didn't want to drink and drive with my sons in the car, but yes I did. I even had a car accident from drinking, but by the grace of God, I didn't get a DUI or get taken to jail. The meetings every night after work were how I did it. The neon lights of Liquor stores,that I would see in my rear view mirror would spook me. All I could think of was getting to a meeting. I avoided going by the liquor isle in the grocery stores. This was the first year in my sobriety. I know it may be hard with the children. But if there is any way to get someone you know to watch your children,someone you can trust to watch them. Or there are some meetings that do have babysitting, the ones here in CA are at woman's recovery homes. They are really good meetings. My suggestion the above, but if you can't get to meetings,keep going on line here, just don't pick up that first drink. Just don't day that first sip. It is cunning, baffeling & powerful. It is just waiting for you to break down. At meetings phone numbers of women in your area in program to talk to also. Your telephone book has lists of phone numbers to call if you don't know where any meetings are. It's under Alcoholics Anonymous in the White Pages. Just keep coming back here if you can't get to meetings outside. "one day at a time" "one moment at a time" God Bless You All!
Member: ??????????
Location:
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 1:31:27 PM
philomena,
do they call ya phil for short??
Member: Alisa N
Location: NC
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 2:09:47 PM
Hi Alisa/Alcoholic & drug addict: My heart is pounding as I write this. I have been to AA meetings many years ago however I never was able to say anything. I attended meetings for a few months and did stop drinking for 6 years. Last year I had so many problems with my teenage son and my alcholic husband that my doctor put me on a drug called Klonipen. After taking this drug for a week or so I went to the store bought a bottle of wine and a pack of cigerettes and I haven't slowed down since. I am still on the medication and become sick when I don't take it. I really want to stop every thing that I am doing to harm myself. I know I should be in meetings and I am trying to get up the energy. I just don't seem to have any. Help!
Member: Kristi
Location: AZ
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 2:48:03 PM
Mark C. from NYC, I too have a bit of reluctance with sponsorship, but I also know the importance of working with another sober alcholic. For me, it's a trust issue. But, I did find another alcoholic, like you and me, who is my "co-sponsor". We sponsor each other when needed. I don't pal around with him, and I continue to work with other alcoholics, but when I need direction, I trust him implicitly. It helps to know that no matter what I go to him with, or he goes to me with, we have enough love and tolerance to "sponsor" each other thru thick and thin.
Please don't let the concept of sponsorship turn you completely off. Find another way to accept it and you'll be rewarded 10 fold. BTW, sponsorship DOES make things more difficult...it makes you work harder at doing the next right thing!
Member: renee
Location:
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 3:22:40 PM
I am reading all the posts her,,,and i am overwhelmed,,,i am not alone and my story really is no different.With re; to sponsership,,,i always thought that my husband would take care of me,,, He is not here with me and i had the courage to tell him that i wanted to quit this drinking.He says he is supportive but he doesn't really do anything to support the change a change in my behavior. His idea is to keep it quite , keep it hidden and it will go away if you keep yourself busy,,,for 12 years that is what i have been doing,,,i am getting physically sick,,,i could really use a shoulder to lean on but i am afraid to lean on a stranger....a sponser... i am afraid to go to a public meeting,,, i am afraid of what i might find out about myself,,, I am afraid of someone judging me,,, drinking is so easy for me,,,i drink at night to numb reality of being a single parent,,,if i am lucky by late evening i am drunk enough to pass out ... i tried to call a friend the other night for support,,,but i was to drunk to dial,,, i have hidden it really well i think for so long,,,but it is getting to be a heavy cross to carry... sponsership...it sounds like a good idea to me right now.
Member: JohnO
Location: England , UK
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 5:51:53 PM
I have been sober just over a week now , however i have been trying for 12 months best i have done is 6 weeks and 3 of them were in a treatment centre , how do you go about finding a sponsor , just ask someone at a meeting .
Member: AllieR
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 6:00:45 PM
Member: AllieR
Location: Kalamazoo, MI
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 6:02:47 PM
I was having a bad day and signed on to get focused on what really matters. Just knowing you all are out there even if I can't get to a meeting helps me tremendously. Feeling lucky to be an alcoholic. :-)
Member: James Lupp
Location: Montrose, Colorado
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 6:19:49 PM
Hi, James alkie again. I have to appologize to you. I have this tendency to try and make myself sound so damn good or different on these on line things, but to be honest I just met with a fine man who wanted to work these steps and we did the first three steps together. From the book. He went home to begin his fourth step. So did I. We didn't drink the whole time we were together. WE are walking through this program together. I no longer am sure who sponsors who!(I hate the word "sponsor") We made this deal to try to tell the truth with each other with God's help.
Thanks. Love and light
James L.
Member: Michael P.
Location: s. california
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 7:52:05 PM
Yes JohnO ask someone. I sat in meetings and listend when I found someone who seemed to be having a happy life I ask him to be my sponsor. Best wishes michael P
Member: lori
Location: nj
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 7:55:14 PM
Hello, Lori recovery alcoholic addict. Sponsorship, feeling overwhelmed, asking for help all terrific subjects for me. I am leading an incredibly blessed life and yet I feel my overwhelmed today as I am reminded of who and what I can become if I don't remember to listen to myself. I haven't drank or drugged in so long and last year I added smoking to that list, pretty good wouldn't you think, well I sure did and now it's food! Watch out, boy when you aren't paying attention it hits and hard. I need to get with a sponsor tonite! Thanks for reminded me how invaluable that relation really can be.(if I allow it to be) I really did forget for awhile what my addiction can do to me. My god for me I know tonite there is alot more than hope, there is definetly room for success. thanx lori
Member: Heidi
Location: New York
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 8:48:13 PM
Hi everyone, I am an alkie also. I have been sober for 12 yrs. and a few months and I could not have done it without a sponsor. I guess everyones needs are different but, I was sooo sick of being sick and I truly felt like nobody understood what pain i felt until I sat in the detox and listened to all kinds of alkies. It was very comforting. My sponsor helped me by sharing her stories with me after meetings in diners all over town. I was ashamed of myself for the things i did when i was drunk and that was keeping me out there. She di some crazier things than me and i felt better that she wanted to help me regardless of my sick alcoholic behavior. If I was left to my own so called program i would be dead now. I think the word hate is strong language and an english teacher told me once that it really meant fear. So when people say they hate sponsors or the word sponsor it seems like they are afraid of it. I was petrified to ask this woman to be my sponsor. I walked up to her after a meeting and asked her and she said yes and we have been sober together ever since. For the woman driving drunk with her kids. I know alot of nice woman in a.a. that would probably even babysit for you while you go to a meeting. It is amazing how kind people in a.a. are. Good Luck and thank you for listenening. Peace,Heidi
Member: tinman
Location: 0z
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 9:32:57 PM
if i only had a brain cell i could leave 0z for good
Member: Roo
Location: twilight zone
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 9:54:40 PM
Name: LU LU Location: Date: 2/18/01 Time: 2:39:40 PM
Comments:
My name is Lu I bugger with roo I am to stupid to Make an intelligent post
I stay up late To bug those I hate I just can't relate My brain is half toast
If I'd stay dry And quit getting high I could again try To use those cells that I roast
qwertyuiopaiamadumbasssdfghjklzxcvbnm
Member: Michele k
Location: north west
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 10:59:21 PM
To Renee, Your story sounds alot like me . Next month ill be celebrating 3years of sobriety. I remember my first few days of sobriety and how scared and alone I felt.When I went to my first meeting I noticed that these people were all laughing and in that room I saw HOPE. I realized at that moment that I wanted something more then a drink I Wanted Sobriety. I also asked God back into my life. There are sponsors for us to help us work through our program of recovery. I now have people of all gender and race who are very important in my life , when I was out drinking my so called friends only wanted to drink and in my new life they think Isuck becuase they cannot imagine life with out alcohol { just like I used to think }.I will put you in my prayers. and Ask for HELP becuase left to our devices WE Will pick up that drink and then were of and running again and I dont think that is what you want. so go to meetings ,get a sponsor and Read the big book and start working the steps and you will find a new freedom and a new happiness that you would never believe. This a program of action and there is work involved so you just hang in there ONE DAY AT A TIME....... sisters in sobriety
Member: roo
Location: looking for lu lu
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 11:06:40 PM
miss me already lu lu love ya
Member: roo
Location: looking for lu lu
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 11:06:44 PM
miss me already lu lu love ya
Member: ROO-da-ba-ka
Location:
Date: 2/19/01
Time: 11:32:28 PM
MY NAME IS ROO I SMELL LIKE DOO-DOO OH THE SMELL 'O POO-POO MY NAME IS ROO-ROO
Member: Larry J
Location: Sioux City Iowa
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 12:17:28 AM
Hey.....names Larry and I'm an alcoholic....first time in this room (meeting). Thanks Mike L., for steering me here...you're a great guy and helpful alcoholic...which brings me to the topic of "HELPING"......I have thought a little about this helping business and felt lately there just werent the newcomers to work with the way there used to be and I wondered why.....one thing I hadnt really considered was that there were some pretty obviously differences in the meetings I was attending that I hadnt really given thought to......quite a few I attended had few newcomers and were composed mainly of older timers like myself with the occasional person of a few years sobriety...they were comfortable and good meetings...but in checking out a few meetings I usually did NOT attend I found a wealth of newcomers coming in through the court system halfway houses correctional halfway houses and the like......while it can be frustrating at times working with people who are "made" to come to meetings.....I have found many who contribute by sharing money, sharing at meetings, chairing meetings etc etc, all things they dont HAVE to do to comply with their forced attendance at meetings.It has really made me feel more useful and "needed" and supplying a breath of fresh air into my stagnant (without realizing it) AA Program . I am more motivated than I have been in years doing the greeting, temporary sponsoring, making coffee, vacuuming etc that I have done lately. I sobered up in 1975 and have been able to stay continuously sober and fairly active in AA.......I am always available at BeetleB_IA@att.net for anyone newer having problems they wish to share........hopefully I am a good listener and willng to share any experiences I may have that would relate to theirs.....In the Memory of Dr Bobs Farewell Message to Keep it Simple and Remember the New Person........Larry J from IOWA
Member: ron m.
Location: brenham,texas
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 1:25:52 AM
the last five yrs. have been good one's but i finally relapsed bigtime. it does get worse each relapse. this time i almost not only ruined my life,but someone i love more than life itself! i press on now,back to square one for a new life, but then again it's all about me!!! ruined
Member: Shirley T
Location: New Zealand
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 2:21:29 AM
Member: CrystalP
Location: Los Angeles
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 2:23:16 AM
I am not feeling "god" at this point. why? I want to feel "him" in my life. Am I not ready?
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 2:32:27 AM
Hi I am Jack, a real alcoholic.Sponsorship to me is one of the strongest tools we have, especially in early recovery.The best definition of a sponsor I have ever heard is in the Big Book where it mentions that the purpose of our basic text is to show precisely how we recovered from this seemingly hopeless disease.A sponsor should be directing their sponsees to the Big Book and the steps. They say that two years of continous sobriety is suggested.Also they recommend someone who is openly enjoying their sobriety.I used a third gauge when I choose my current sponsor.I looked for someone who knew he was only a messenger of the Big Book, not its author. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless all on our path in sobriety.
Member: Ken C
Location: Winnipeg
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 4:30:01 AM
I was an expert for 18 years while in and out of AA meetings. Eventually I became unemployable, and such a mess I could no longer rely on my own intellect. That was 23 years ago, and I haven't had a drink since. Yes, there was lots of fear and self concern but I simply followed the suggestion of HOW - Honesty, with myself and my fellow AA's, Open mindedness, and Willingness. Of course the Willingness had to come first, and John Barleycorn provided it. The formula is simple: get stupid first then learn and apply the principles shown in the steps. Do the steps on their terms, not your own, and you will get sober, happy, joyus and free. Don't and you won't. There is no mystery to it. And oh yes, don't consider yourself well for quite a long time because until you have run into enough situations where you have had to practice the principles, you don't yet have a clue as to how sick you have really been. Just remember, none of us "has it made". To even come close, takes a long time.
Love - Ken
Member: jrr
Location: harmony on the lake
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 8:46:16 AM
Just got back from burying a dear friends' son..he was a good friend of mine, this is a deadly deal.. alcoholism.. and though i believe it was the ultimate act of selfishness what he did.. die of his own hand, I am more aware now what a deadly deal this alcoholism is.
His name was DJ.. and he left behind 4 sisters and 3 brothers,countless nephews and nieces, Mom, dad and stepdad. Many friends, a wife, mother of his 7yr old son, aunts and uncles. All who loved him and told him so often.
His nephew sang 'ol'danny boy' and a sister sang Amazing Grace. His casket was draped with an Irish flag. There was not a dry eye in the house.
All of his sisters and brothers and dad are sober.. his dad was instrumental in getting me sober..and keeping involved in aa. He volunteered me for numerous jobs at our homegroup. I met DJ a few years back, he had ended up in rehab, again, and his dad asked me to accompany him to a meeting with him at the facility. Nice guy, charming, helpful and knew a whole bunch at about 43 days sober, i remember. I guess he came and went a few times since, this time, he had gotten out of another rehab, a few weeks ago.. i overheard one of his friends telling one of his sisters :"i talked to him in december, he said things were going good, and he was looking forward to turning his life around"
It was cold and windy where he was buried, the bitter WNY wind tore through our overcoats..
such a waste.
remember to remind those you love, you love them.
Thank god for aa, and that i remain teachable today.
this deal works, i promise.
peace, and god rest my friend's soul.
jrr
Member: Mark D
Location: Concord NH
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 8:47:40 AM
Mark C in NYC -- I'm just 4 months sober myself. I hear what you're saying about the help of the on-line meetings. I check them out most everyday. I also post a lot more than I share at 1 on 1 meetings. The reason for that is that it is easier and I can do it on my own terms. I can also bullshit and get preachy if I'm always sticking to my recovery on my terms. But looking at someone face to face, I can't bullshit. Doing the 5th step with my sponsor isn't complicated, it's just damn hard. I find that the more things that I take on relating to my recovery that seem really difficult the better I feel about my sobriety when I finish them. Good luck, keep coming back here and tell us how you're doing but don't be afraid to share with people one on one. And don't let the god thing scare you off. I think the program leaves this door open pretty wide. If you can't deal with the 2nd step without a laundry list of conditions you are one of two things; a non-alcoholic or a drunk who's not ready to change. And that is not complicated.
Member: not a fan
Location:
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 11:49:19 AM
i hope they send that puffy guy to the joint where he belongs.he is a gang banger and nothing more.he instills bad medicine to our children. lopez should go with him.
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 12:25:46 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic. Joyce and some of the others reminds me of myself. I didn't know till after being sober and living the 12 Steps for some time, that I have that ADHD hyperactivity disorder that kids have, and still have it.
This program and these steps have been my ongoing medication for that as well as my recovery from alcoholism & drugs. This always keeps me in awe (gratitude to my HP) and I am always amazed.
In the beginning, my sponsor kept teaching me to apply the Serenity Prayer . . .over & over & over as each seperate overwhelming, stressing, etc situation arises - say the Serenity Prayer.
My sponsor also had me do a Gratitude List each night before bed . . .to thank God for all that I DO have and He has given me . . . to begin teaching me to be content & satisfied & grateful, and start over-coming this "disease of more"
In time I learned about myself that whenever I am getting stressed, overwhelmed, etc - it is because I have slipped back into thinking I am running the show again my own self. The solution for me is Steps 1, 2 & 3 . . . asking God do His Will and to give me Acceptance of whatever that may turn out to be, and to guide me as to what my part to do is (which just about always includes taking my own inventory to see where I'm getting out of line)
GOD can stand for Group Of Drunks. We don't need to look for conflict about things like this, as in the program we learn to cease fighting everyone and everything. Atheist friends have many long years of good solid sobriety. Or pick whatever you like for your Higher Power if you do believe, but not in the way as most others do or say to. (This was my case)
I would like to mention: Alcoholism is 'dellusional' thinking - what we believe is right, the way, what things mean, what reality is, etc - is NOT reality at all. Alcoholism means that my own thinking and how I feel about those thoughts are not based in reality. But to me they ARE! And no one is going to convince me otherwise.
This is the reason we are told we NEED a sponsor . . . someone to do our thinking for us until we're shown how to do non-alcoholic-thinking for ourselves.
This is the reason we're told that our "BEST" thinking is what got us here in the first place, and that "our own thinking is a bad neighborhood, don't go there alone"
I came in with an ego larger than what could fit through the door. I have always been highly intelligent. I already knew everything there was to know all about God, how He works, and everything about everything else as well. I had also been raised to know how to figure out things for my own self, and put down severely if I failed to.
The very first miracle I saw take place in this program is that I had been assigned a temporary sponsor at my very first meeting and actually called her each day and actually did all else as she told me as well! For me, that was a real miracle now that I look back on it!
And the ongoing continuiing miracle I am always aware and in awe of is this: That God has the Power to get past what I think. He changes what I am certain sure I already know it all about, and even all that I had THOUGHT I knew about Him. For anyone or anything on this earth to ever have been able to change what I am sure I already know, and know it the right way, etc had always been 100% absolutely impossible.
At the moment of silence at the beginning of each meeting, my sponsor told me to use that to pray and ask God to give me an Open Mind and make me Teachable so I might learn something.
I thank the God of my understanding that I did. Thanks for letting me share. Pam
Member: cm
Location: williamsburg,va
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 3:20:40 PM
Hi, I'm Cindy,an acoholic-addict. I went into rehab for the first time 4 years ago at the age of 41.It took me atleast 3 weeks to admit that I really needed to be in. Once I did I had a Spritual Awakening and it was great. I felt new again. I came out of rehab and moved in with my parents because though my addiction I had lost everything. I got a job and went to meetings after 4months of meetings I met some guy that I thought was wonderful he too had been in recovery for less than 6 months. Now the suggestions of AA are that you really should get involve in a love relationship until you are over 18 months clean. I knew the rule but it just didn't seem to apply to us. We moved in together and we are or I should say were until today still together. The thing was that he seemed to beable to stay sober and he even gave up meetings and seemed fine. But I had one relapse after another. He would just brush me off and we'd start over again. But I had stopped going to meetings never worked past the 3rd step and didn't even remember them most of the time. Now I would have as much as 18 months dry times but I'd go out again.IN the mean time he seem to keep caring for me and forgiving me. But of course he didn't trust me. We didn't break-up because a relapse I've been dry 6 months this time. We just lost the trust and communication. He couldn't stand why I couldn't have made my decision to just stop like him and not need meetings and I couldn't unstand how he could when I needed the meetings and everything that goes with AA. He left today and I'm on my own again. I haven't been to a meeting for months I haven't made any friends since we've been together. I'm not sure where to start but I know that that suggestion about 18 months is probaly one of the best ones. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Anonymous
Location:
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 5:06:15 PM
Sponsorship is an old term from by gone years of baseball. In the days of Babe Ruth the nation was engrossed with what was called "the nations number one past time" Baseball was in, and so was sponsorship. Every team had its sponsor. Sponsorship, was used to advertise and these sponsors would buy the teams tee shirts as they were needed so that their business product would be displayed thereon. It was during this time or shortly before that Alcoholics Anonymous was born, and they too took up the custom, that any newcomer must needs have a sponsor if he is to be considered fully certified in accordance to the customs of the day. Nowadays however, the term has grown way out of perportion in AA. even to the extent that one may as well place the word sponsorship in the place of God as it is in step three, for this is the place sponsership has taken up of late. Settle against the matter then, For the whole idea of turning our wills and lives over to the care of God is that we no longer be the servants of the world and or of men; That we find that liberty that the promises speak of in God only. As for a sponsor, There is none worthy of a man, as such as sponsorship is used today. Many have trouble in submitting to the wims of a sponsor and I full well understand it. Lordship and counsel then belongeth unto God only, and it shall be, we no longer submit ourselves unto any creature. Let a sponsor buy me a tee shirt and hand it over with whatever he would to put on it if he would to be somewhat and be content with that and go his way that I might then submit myself unto God only. It is not any sponsors whim will or idea of recovery thats sought after the knowledge of in the later steps either but rather the will of God only, in a word, its written thus: "whether then you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." If then to expound on the point still further I would ask the question: Would any wear a tee shirt that his sponsor picked out for him? Probably not, Now if a sponsor cannot be counted on to do the very least or to know, as God would surly know, what would be befitting for us to wear, how then can any be counted on to do the rest?....
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,Illnois
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 5:52:31 PM
I am alcoholic I believe faith in the higher power and following the 12 steps would be the most important in keeping u sober 'cause it has kept me sober for over three yrs. One time I had the spiritual awakening that was the day to remember and I have not forgotten since then I have not HP leave me.
Member: heidi p
Location:
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 7:11:21 PM
Hi, everybody. I'm Heidi, alcoholic, and sooo grateful for this site. I am in Chile at the moment, originally from a little tiny town in upstate New York. Since getting sober, I have been able to travel as I always talked about wanting to do while sitting at the bars, going nowhere. I am in South America traveling for 2 months with 2 nonalcoholic friends and meetings are hard to come by. I was able to go to an english speaking meeting in Lima, Peru two plus weeks ago, but nothing since. So, forgive me if I ramble about gratitude. This program has given me a life, SAVED my life is more like it. I would have either killed myself (by my own hand, or driving drunk, or maybe murdered by going home from a bar with a complete psycho while in a blackout) or ended up in jail or an institution and died slowly, miserably. I have no doubts about that today. I was so sick when I was first sent to aa (I made a call to a suicide hotline) that I didn't believe this would work for me, or that I was really an alcoholic. It took staying away from a drink for a little while before I was able to see the truth, and think more clearly. One of the sad parts about being caught up in our alcoholism, is that we can't tell how really sick and confused we really are. My sponsor used the analogy of being a fish in water: heīs surrounded by it, but he just canīt see it for himself. I was just like so many of the women that have written in here. I did not trust women at all. When I was drinking, I was the type of women that would steal your boyfriend for fun, backstab you, try to be the prettiest one in the room, liked to size up the competition in the bars, etc. I was not trustworthy. I believed other women to be the same way. I found women in aa that were the same way I was, but werenīt like that anymore. I realized that I needed to take a chance with just one woman in order for any change to take place in my life. I wanted my life to be different and when I was willing enough to give aa a chance, I went to a womenīs mtg. and shared honestly for the first time. When I was through and the meeting opened up, the women shared with me. One woman really spoke from the heart and it reached me. I decided to ask her to be my first sponsor. As afraid as I was to let her get to know me and to try to really trust someone for the first time in my life, I knew I had to try or nothing in my life would change. This was the message that I heard in the meetings. Not drinking and going to meetings is important, but the real change comes when you work the steps. In order to work the steps thoroughly, a person should have a guide who has been there before. This is part of sponsorship. What I also learned about it from having one, is that a sponsor is not someone who tells you how to run your life (what to do and not to do). They may give you suggestions about what they think might be best for you, and you should have the freedom to decide for yourself with their support. The aa pamphlet on sponsorship says something like, "a sponsor is the very first person that we let care about us." This is a very meaningful relationship. My first sponsor truly was the first person I let get to know me, allowing her to know all the shameful things I had done, how much I hated myself, and she understood. She was the support that I needed to get through the grief I felt over losing my best friend in the world--alcohol of course, to walk through the fear of facing who I had become and what I had to do to make repairs, and to make real change in my life. She walked with me through the steps, answered my questions patiently, taught me that becoming a women with dignity and integrity was an achievable goal. She was also an imperfect human being, and I learned the lesson that we are all infallible and will make mistakes once in a while, maybe often. I have felt forgiven for my past mistakes, have even asked for it from the people I hurt in the past, and am discovering that it is so important to let go of othersī wrongs towards us. We say in the Lordīs prayer "forgive us as we have forgiven". I believe in a loving God today, without a clear definition of what or who He is. I work on keeping an open mind towards religious ideas, remembering that our program is based on such ideas. It has worked for millions of people, so doubting and debating has no place in my life anymore. Without belief in a Higher Power I am weak and afraid, and the change with believing has been amazing. As I said, I am in another country, traveling with 2 other people, and before sobriety I was too afraid to go anywhere with alcohol. Thank you for being here for me, and Iīm sorry if I shared too much. I really needed to.
Member: Dan S.
Location: cleveland,ohio
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 7:14:43 PM
Hi my name is Dan and I`m an alcoholic. I`m making a (hopefully)my last comeback to AA. I know I need meetings to be reminded cause i quickly forget and quickly drink when the remorse and demoralization feelings dissapear. I have alot of head knowledge about spiritual things but i need to listen now and recognise i`m not the only one "with a brain". Answering to a sponsor is hard for me. I find myself putting my phone on voice mail or anything to keep from talking. I tell my wife if anyone calls tell them I`m not here. I know its all destructive "pride" after 46 yrs. of feeding it.I know I need to come out of myself and the best way is to do things "I" don`t want to do.Its so easy to say the right things. But to do them is a whole new thing. Whisky on the weekends in front of a T.V. with a "porno flick"was my so called "heaven". It only leaves me empty and guilty and full of shame and remorse.I cannot afford to miss meetings and forget the emotional drain on my soul.
Member: William,A.
Location: High-Point
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 7:29:16 PM
Hello,William here also an alkie
I agree with one of the other,on line persons who spoke before me. Joyce your topic is a very god one for me today,it reminds me of what the big-book talks about whewn it says that drinking what just a sympton our real problem was more that drinking. Just what do we do to over come those days and nights when we--- have stopped drinking for a-while and still feel shakey from every day living this is something that some of us hear vry little about in the face to face meetings we may attend. My experience has showed me that most people who spend much of the spare time going to meetings and becomming popular often stay dry and hardly ever get sober they almost never can help others to gain any real means of perminent soberiety,when you are still stuck on self you may often have a hard time trying to be of maxium service to both GOD and man as the BIG-BOOK asks us to do .again JOYCE thanks for the topic today.
We can do things that I can not do a long.
Member: Jerry J.
Location: So.Cal
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 9:09:57 PM
Jerry Alcoholic, good to be sober. I sometimes forget that my sobriety is contingent on the daily maintenance of my spiritual condition. The search for more in life can lead me away from the simple things that got me sober. It was my first sponsor who taught me that job or no job, wife or no wife I could get sober. Now when I stray from the path the love and concern of my fellow trudgers lead me back. If not for the love of other alcoholics I would be lost. I don't believe I could have stayed sober if I had not been willing to attempt to give back what had been freely given to me. I have not had a drink for a few days now, yet I still carry the defects of character that lead me to insanity if I will let them. Thank God that sponsorship, service work, and meetings are the tools I use today for my disease. Love
Member: amen
Location:
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:03:17 PM
now i lay me down to rest i pray smoke alarm batteries at their best but if the house burns down before i wake get me out for goodness sakes.
Member: David R.
Location: Southern Va.
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:09:23 PM
Hello to all of you out there, I am 33 years old, and today is my first full day sober in quite some time. I did quit 3 years ago,(for 2 months) but just kept making myself believe that I was alright with the booze, and that most people outside my work saw me as a better person drinking. I fell into that trap of saying like many do, that I could still control it. The biggest lie that any of us could tell ourselves. I am just tired of hiding, making excuses, feeling depressed and tired. I am curious to see what the real me as an adult could be without a beer or liquor bottle. Since I haven't been completely sober since age 16. Wish me luck.
Member: Teresa K
Location: England
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:33:51 PM
Hi Teresa here, it feels so good to be able to talk to real people at this time of night. life ain't to good at the moment, but its a 100% better than it was. what keeps me moving is the FACT, that this too shall pass.
Member: Teresa K
Location: England
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:33:57 PM
Hi Teresa here, it feels so good to be able to talk to real people at this time of night. life ain't to good at the moment, but its a 100% better than it was. what keeps me moving is the FACT, that this too shall pass.
Member: PattiD
Location: Florida
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:34:17 PM
Hi my name is Patti , I am new to the program, I just wanted to say that I have been working on straightening my life out now for awhile it too has been hard for me , but I have a great kid that keeps me going.
Member: smokey
Location:
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 10:53:44 PM
my smoke alarm batteries are dead.......i will not sleep well tonite.................
Member: Ray F.
Location: oklahoma
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 11:01:56 PM
Hey people, Ray here, its good to be sober tonight. I just finished off 1 week,(don't sound like much huh?) The thing is I was sober for a while before I relapsed in November and now I'm back. Thanks to the steps2recovery Al-Anon link and support from a one great E-Mail pal(thanks again Lynn C.)The best advise I can give anyone is find a good e-mail pal and pester the hell out of them. It helps keep your mind off the next drink, plus make a promise to youself that you will not take that first drink till you email your friend AND get a response. sounds silly but it worked for me.
always looking for a friend!E-mail me David before you take your next drink. Rayday75@hotmail.com
Member: Philomena
Location: So California
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 11:21:33 PM
Hi I am Philomena,Im an alcoholic, the topic sponsorship, is a very important part of this AA program. Much to alot of rebuttals, I have read in the last few days. Again I say, how can a newcomer know how to work the steps without a guide in direction. We need another alcoholic to guide us. Hello!!! what about our co-founders Bill & Bob, Hello!!! The first 164 pages in the Big Book says it. This is what Bill and Bob did. I might not be able to quote the Big Book but I know that this is how this program started. Just try to do the steps all by yourself, me, myself and I. Opps, yeah, uhuh, there's that ego. I said it before, this is a WE program, not a ME program. WE pass it on as it has been freely given to us. Yes, Suggestion only. Keep working it the way YOU want to ALONE, see where you end up. So we can keep doing it alone, but what is the point. We need others and of course our Higher power. Who I choose to call God. Any of you who are newcomers please remember, this is a program of suggestion, try what is suggested. It truly only works if "you want" to stop the insanity. If you really don't want it then go back out there until you're ready. There was no way anyone was going to make me stop drinking when I was out there. I felt I deserved it. Don't you know who I am. Only when I got sick and tired of where I was at in my drinking and the insanity of how I felt about everything and wanting to die,was I ready for help. Thank God for AA & the meetings & the sponsors, Bill & Bob, that started this program. And the sponsors today who continue to 12 step each of us. Also for this meeting online for those who are too afraid to get to a meeting or can't. I want to share one last thing for the newcomers. That going to most open participation meetings isn't something you need to be afraid of. We don't judge you, we have all been at the same point at one time or another. If you can, get out to a meeting, you will most probably hear you own story by one of us. We all got here from having problems with trying to do life our way AND by using alcohol or drugs to numb the pain or get rid of the fear or to just do what we had to do for the day or a moment. In AA we learn how to live life with the tools we get from working the steps. It works if you work it. One day at a time, one moment at a time. God bless you all. Keep coming back. kcb
Member: will
Location: power
Date: 2/20/01
Time: 11:59:48 PM
will power.......................
the power to will.......................
the will to power............................
willpower..............................
Member: Tina A
Location: Louisiana
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 12:40:42 AM
Tina from La.This is my first time doing a meeting online. It is great to hear about all the newcomers here. I need to hear that it is still kicking ass out there. I just might get the idea that its not so bad that I could maybe go back out there. See my mind tends to forget the really bad stuff I did when I was using and drinking like driving drunk with my kids in the car or getting into accidents or the dwi's or the guilt feelings the next morning. The list goes on and on. The point is I don't ever have to do any of those things again. I think sponsorship is a great thing as long as I don't put them on pedastals and make them into gods. A sponsor is human and makes mistakes. I was told when coming into the program 8 years ago to go to meetings and watch people. Listen to what they have to say. See if they are truly happy . Then ask them to be your sponsor and really use them to learn about the program. Hey nothing is written in stone. If it doesn't work out try someone else. All I know is I have to want recovery more than anything else in the world. I have to be willing to go to any lenghts to stay sober. That means asking for help when I need it. Picking up a phone to call someone in the program. Take a chance. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose. I hope all the newcomers keep coming back for me. I need all of you. Thanks for letting me share. Tina
Member: Philomena
Location: So Caslifornia
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 12:46:52 AM
Hi again,Philomena, Alcoholic. Who's will. Your's and mine is our ego. I thought I could take care of everything in my own thinking. (1)"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol,that our lives had become unmanageable." (2)"Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity." (3)"Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him." Steps, one, two and three. Just don't take that first drink,sip. One day at a time. His will not ours. God bless you! kcb
Member: David B
Location: AZ
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 3:51:56 AM
Help is a great topic. I've been sober almost twelve years, but it doesn't matter how long any of us have, we are still one drink removed from returning to the darkness.
My father is dying of cancer. It's one of the things I've dreaded my whole life. Seeing him lose his hair and lose massive weight is killing me. I mourn in drops and dribbles. Tonight I am sitting here at almost 2 in the morning thinking, "Gosh, I need a meeting."
I was doing a word search about AA and finding it existing in places like the Gold Coast. That's how I found this online meeting. What a wonderful thing it is to never be alone, and to be able to find our fellow sufferers online.
Many of the words written here have encouraged me tonight and reminded me of what a precious gift from God our sobriety is. Thanks to you all and God bless. AA is so great.
Member: renee
Location: canada
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 9:07:07 AM
michele k.,,,thanks for you prayers,,,I really need them,, I don't have a sponser right now but i am looking for one. I am sober 5 days,,,and my life has seemingly fell apart in these 5 days(isn't that ironic)My husband works out of town so we only have telephone conversations,,,Here was his advice for me last night,,,,,,,hey baby,,,you are stressed out,,,,,have a drink a little wine or something,,,,,your work is done for the day, the kids are to bed,,,you deserve it,,,there is nothing wrong with a drink!!!!,,,,
i deserve a little credit for heaven sakes,,i really want to do it this time,,,hanging in by a thread. Or how about this comment ,,,,,,I don't know whats wrong with you all of a sudden and why you need this little club (AA),,,everything was fine before,,,, anyone else had this problem,,,help please
Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 9:14:02 AM
to finally listen to other peoples suggestions is what saved me,or ,to become willing.for the longest time i just plain straight out wouldn't listen or do what anybody said therfore keeping my sickness alive and well.the court system is what finally got my attention,then my lawyer said if i stayed sober it would probably do me some good...i think from that point on i started letting people into my life,i opened my ears and tried shutting my mouth .many good sober drunks led me to accepting the fact that i too am a drunk and that the only chance i have to salvage any type of life of means is to stay sober.it's been a tremendous change,i'm gratefull for it and i hope you can enquire it too.it's the fellowship of alcoholics annonomous thats led me to believe.......ddt+mm...i'm tony an alcoholic
Member: renee
Location: canada
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 9:19:50 AM
michele k. thank you for your prayers,,,i need them,I don't have a sponser yet ,,,i think i need one.... I am sober 5 days,,,ironically my life has seemingly fallen apart.My husband works out of town so we only have telephone conversations.His advice to me last night was,,,,,,hey baby,,,you are stressed,,have a drink,,,some wine or a beer,,,it's ok,,,your work is done for the day, the kids ae to bed,,,you deserve it,,,For heaven sakes i deserve a little credit and support.,,,how about this comment,,,i don't know what has gotten into you,,,everything was fine,,,i don't know why you need this little club(AA),,,,,has anyone gone through this before,,,and as far as me having a sponser the truth is i think he is jealous,,,i am needing some real advice here for a real alcoholic,,,thanks
Member: Jim K.
Location: West Texas
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 10:44:05 AM
Hello out there. My name is Jim, and I'm a recovering alcoholic.
I like all of the topics that were suggested at the beginning of the discussion week, so I'll share a little on each one.
First of all, it is my personal belief that sponsorship is vital to recovery. In my experience, any time I go solo, things get really messed up. When I think that I have the answers, that I know a better way, I make a horrible mess of my life. My sponsor is like my mentor in recovery. He does not rule my life, but can give me some great advice. He is not a relationship counselor, spiritual advisor, therapist, or even my buddy. He is one of my teachers in recovery--now that my compulsion to use is gone, and I no longer have to feed my disease of alcoholism, how do I live and function with those earthlings out there. I have had several sponsors, but the man I use now is many things--sober longer than 10 years, actively living the program (meetings, steps, Big Book, has a sponsor himself), happily married, relatively successful in business. Now all these were not criteria for my original sponsor, but as I have stayed sober longer, I have come to want and need different things from a teacher. That is my experience.
Second, I know what it means to feel overwhelmed. At different times in my recovery I have felt like I switched addictions. I find myself in every meeting at my home group, plus reaching out and doing service work in every club I go to and volunteering at several treatment centers. Then, I'll find myself exercising constantly, and becoming a health fanatic. Next thing I know, I'll be totally immersed in work, or in my relationship, or at some church.... The point is, I had to find a balance in order to have successful sobriety--recovery. Sponsorship has helped me to find that balance in my recovery, work, and social life. I am not perfect, but I have people in my life that can tell me when I am getting crazy long before I am aware of it, so I can make smaller adjustments and changes that help me function better in the world, and stay more comfortable in my own skin.
Third, HELP! I had to ask. If I hadn't made a conscious effort to ask for help, I don't think I could have found sobriety. There were many people who reached out to me, but there are limits to what others can do. I couldn't get this deal through ass-mosis----believe me, I tried for several years, and continued to end up drunk and smoking crack. Today, when I am having a problem, I can ask for help. Usually I realize I knew the answer all along, but it's still hard for me to see what to do all the time. I am human, and alcoholic, so my judgement is clouded much of the time. I am selfish and self- centered by nature, and it has taken other people to show me a different way.
If I have run on, I am truly sorry. Thank you for letting me ramble on, and thank you for my sobriety.
Member: Philomena
Location: So California
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 10:58:32 AM
Hi Renee, Im Philomena,an alcoholic,and yes Ive been where you are at right now. The one thing I can tell you,the minute you begin with the first sip, it will take you back to where you were and 10 fold worse. Just don't do it. Do like you said get a sponsor. But you will need to find someone close to where you live. That you can meet with. And of course a woman. For now, keep going online for help. It will get better. I am keeping you in my prayers. I have to go to work now. Get AA phone number out of your phone book if you don't have one get it through information 411. They will give you a number to talk to another person. It's in the white pages under Alcoholics Anonymous. It does work,One moment at a time. One day at a time. Just don't pick up that first drink. God bless you. Keep coming back. kcb. Philomena
Member: Patti D.
Location: Orlando
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 11:06:51 AM
I know at least for me when ever I think of doing something stupid all I have to do is look at my son and , I realze that it just isnt worth it I mean where would he be if I werent here . We have been together since day one.
Member: ROO
Location: TO LU LU
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 1:43:17 PM
(((((what lulu YOU LOVE TO LOVE ME
Member: ROO
Location: TO LU LU
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 1:43:25 PM
(((((what lulu YOU LOVE TO LOVE ME
Member: ROO
Location: TO LU LU
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 1:43:31 PM
(((((what lulu YOU LOVE TO LOVE ME
Member: Emma S
Location: South Wales, U.K.
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 5:42:40 PM
At last other alcoholics, lots of whom take this thing seriously enough to love each other and enjoy the gift we have been given, i am finding it hard after over 5 years sober as i have moved to a remote part of the Wales from a very urban part of England. The biggest change is that my meetings are not as regular and a very long way away so i cannot get there often.
What i have gained in the last 5 years i can not list but can summarise - a peace in my mind and soul (a lot of the time now), a strong faith (that I never had before) and a man who is good and I love, a healthy beautiful bright daughter of 19 months, an honours degree, a career (put on hold) , the FREEDOM from FEAR (if I choose) - this increases the list infinitum and THE CHOICE as to how I feel and how I behave. Sounds perfect doesnt it. All because I, the alcoholic, 27 year old, depressed, suicidal, moral less,drug taker, school absentee, teenage tyrant and bully (and bullied) , manipulator, unemployable sick kid BECAME WILLING TO ADMIT THAT I NEEDED HELP. I beleive that my God allowed me this short time to become willing - the signs were far too much a coincidence to be anything other, things kept happening in cycles, agian and agian, the same as my drinking pattern, on booze, off booze, on booze off booze. It was so frightening not knowing what I was doing, out of control, I thought I didnt need anyone, now i have learnt that i cannot afford to be too proud to need someone, I have the fortune of a fantastic sponsor, AA helped her, she has passed the message on to me.And many others. If anyone is there and needs help - please get to A MEETING please go, it really can change the way your life has gone and where booze has taken you. If you let it. I wake up now sometimes and wonder if this is all a dream, but I know what all this time in AA feels like, Booze stopped me feeling 'normal ' emotions so that when booze was not there every thing hurt like hell, and it was all new having drunk since i was 13 years old. They said it would get worse before it gets better but that it would get better, well it did. When it got worse, it was not as scarey as when i was drinking but it certainly hurt more emotionally,mentally, ahhhhit was really hard, but now it is better.Its wonderful how the heck it has worked, i have no doubts in my God, and most importantly for me, I know that if anything painful happens emotionally then it is to grow from spiritually, there is a reason but it is not a reason to pick up a drink - the first drink will be the end of my life as I have come to love it. Keep it in the day people, go to meetings ask someone to be your sponsor even if you are really scared, this what I did and I am so glad I did now - soeme one in AA said to me do all this because I am worth it, I thought this was bollox at time of course cos I was very very booze messed up even when I stopped drinking i was depressed for a while, but now I believe them, and I believe that other members are worth it too. If you are reading this desperately looking for some help, you are worth it too, as I was and still am!!! Love to you all - thanks for your help everyone xx
Member: a1d
Location: roth, GB
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 5:56:18 PM
half of u guys r either pissed up or need 2 sleep. im in limbo-spiritually,mentally, emotionally.get some serenity,guys!
Member: a1d
Location: roth GB
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 6:02:19 PM
didnt mean 2 diss any1 out there-any1 wishing 2 chat please join me, but nothing 2 programmy, i spent 15 months in rehab.any body out there?
Member: Rico
Location: Chicago
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 9:28:54 PM
one week one month three months people it's one day at a time yes get a sponsor ask in a meeting if someone would be your temp. sponsor ask HP for help on a daily basis fake it till you make it the miracle will happen before you know it go to meetings not only on line but the real deal the fellowship is here for you and it ask nothing in return don't think don't drink!!!
Member: brenda r
Location: austin, tx
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 9:45:06 PM
Hi all "B" here just checking in. 10 days now and feeling good. Thanks for all of the good thoughts and info. I believe in God and the power of prayer and you know that "he" is listening to you too or you wouldnt be here. :) Dont have much to contribute yet so you have my love and prayers now and always B PS if you have a little time please pray for me I have been drunk for 26 years and could use your help .
Member: Philomena
Location: Hac Hts,California
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 10:44:35 PM
Hi Philomena checking in again,alcoholic, I am praying for you Brenda & Renee and all of you who are out there needing prayers to keeping from picking up that drink or drug. You see alcohol was my drug of choice. I was addicted to it. I was drinking alone in most cases and was drinking a quart of Canadian Whiskey a night. I was the functioning alki,if you want to call that functioning. I was in Hell. I had this same job I've had for the last 18 yrs.I can still remember when I was 10 days sober. My sobriety date is 11/4/94, I have 6 yrs and I know from working this program I work with only today. That is how it works. The minute you forget that, you can be right back out there. I went to meetings every day after work for the first year. On the weekends I would go to two & three meetings. I had to and I wanted to because I didn't want to drink anymore. I craved it so badly. But by the grace of God I was able to be rid of the obsession by finally getting a sponsor and working the steps. I have been through alot. My father passed away two years ago and the blessing I have is that I was able to be by his side and sober when he passed away. And to share it with my whole family. keep coming back Brenda & Renee,try to find someone who is in AA that is not to far from where you live and get there phone #. Ask someone to be your temp sponsor. Just don't pick up that drink. Don't take that first sip. Either go online or call a woman in AA. God bless you all! kcb Philomena
Member: Blair
Location: canada
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 11:14:39 PM
Hi, my name is Blair an I am alcoholic.I like your topic on sponsorship,I believe it's very important in my recovery.I'am glad the old timer's suggested this to me,because I don't no were I would be without one,I guess I would be trying to run the show or try thinking for myself,and you no where all my thinking got me,back drinking.I was told to use him when things are going bad for me in the run of the day,to ask questions about the program.I had to learn from someone who has been there and is working the program,inside and out.Don't pick someone who has just come into the program,look for someone with long term soberity.It was alwas mentioned to me that men should get men and woman get woman.I believe you can understand how complicated it could get if it was mixed up you could end up with a lot of problems.I hear at meetings that some people don't have a sponsor that they use the group or they talk to 5 or 6 members to find their answer's,I find that is nothing put crap because they want to find the answer they would like to hear so their feeling's won't be hurt,instead of hearing it from one person,the person who would get to know him or her if they had one person to deal with,I tried that route and it doesn't work,I get to confused when I go to so many people.And when my sponsor isn't around I use his sponsor because what his sponsor is telling me he has probable told him and I'am not getting a whole lot of different answers from a whole lot of different people.When you pick someone to be your sponsor pick someone you can trust. "TAKE CARE AND GOD BLESS"
Member: ChuckM
Location: Alberta
Date: 2/21/01
Time: 11:46:48 PM
I'm Chuck, an alcoholic
Sponsor. The best AA program is found in the Big Book. I found that I had to use a dictionary to get the message. A sponsor should be showing you the program in the book.
Then if the sponsor dies, moves or gets drunk you still have the program. Tradition 12 says to depend on principles(steps) rather than personalities.
The finest advice I heard on a tape was the statement that if a sponsor tells you anything, ask him to show it to you in the Big Book, and if he can't show you get another sponsor because that one can kill you.
Step 12 qualifies a sponsor, you have to have a spiritual awakening to be a sponsor.
A friend is some one linked to you for mutual benefit. You can help each other on the journey through the steps. A sponsor can become a friend after guiding you through the steps.( I don't believe in lifetime sponsors, equals are called friends)
Peace and Serenity
Member: Bob B d.o.s. 7/25/98
Location: Garden State
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 8:23:30 AM
Bob, Alcoholic, Only the basic foundation of the AA program lies in the 1st 164 pages of the basic text Alcoholics Anonymous. Read page 164 and Bill tells you three things: 1. this book is meant to be suggestive only. 2.We realize we know only a little. 3. God will constantly disclose more to you and us. With this being said, in this alcoholics humble opinion, sponsorship is a very delicate area. I was told early on that if you study the history of AA so that you know where its been, find God of your understanding, study the 12 steps and apply them in every aspect of your life know matter what, that you will be able to see the great road ahead. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Sobriety
Location: In Practice
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 11:12:35 AM
Philomena, Thanks for sharing, you have a lot of good things to share. Since our program is one of honesty, I have to ask: Why the numerous posts? This is a weekly discussion meeting and if you want to "chat", go to the coffee pot section, or give those you want to target your email. It feels like being at a F2F meeting where one person talks constantly and doesn't give anyone else a chance to share. You can't make anyone stop drinking, your task is to show them, through your actions, how the program works in all aspects of your life.
Where's the line between helping others and deciding that you have exclusivity on sobriety? You've told us what to do. Now back off and let go and let God. After all, you didn't make them drink, and you can't make them quit.
I have been visiting this site for almost two years and hope that it doesn't become a chat room, but stays on track and focussed on the weekly topic. If you missed them, read the guidelines, prove your program applies to all aspects of your life. It's almost like a person saying "I've been sober a long time, therefore, I no longer need to pay attention to speed limits, after all, I know how to drive."
This is a program of attraction, rather than promotion. Let's remember, principles before personalities.
Show consideration and balance. God Bless.
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 12:16:46 PM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic. I would not have made it in this program if it weren't for having a sponsor.
I relate it to paying money to sign up for a college course I need for obtaining a degree. Would I pay all that money and then think I don't need a teacher but am able to pass that course anyway? LOL!
And coming to sit around meetings, but not getting a sponsor to introduce you to the program and guide you in the Big Book and through the Steps, is the same as signing up for that college course, but instead of attending class to learn from the teacher each day - I just hang out in the cafeteria. Gee, I am at least on campus, aren't I? (Is that honesty?)
But then "poor me" wants lots of sympathy and strokes when I fail the course and fail to obtain my degree because I was hanging out in the cafeteria instead of attending the class to learn as I needed to from the teacher.
The truth would be that I am failing to take responsibility for myself and just deceptively seeking to portray myself as something somehow "unique" or "different" from every one else that renders me unable to get it. (and the only one I am snowing is my own self)
Honesty: Do I WANT sobriety, or don't I? AM I powerless over alcohol - my life unmanageable ? If I believe that I am, I am willing to go to any length to achieve my sobriety.
Only a small percent of those who "need" this program ever get to it. And its only a small percent of those who get to it, do get it. The program is for those who "want" it. . . .the desire to stop drinking.
I had cravings 24/7 my early months, at same time I had the desire to stop drinking & drugging. But I had been assigned a temporary sponsor at my first meeting - and did call her, pray, read what I could of the Big Book and get to a meeting each day. And I didn't have to drink/drug, even when I wanted to.
I also had a husband at the time that didn't want me to get clean & sober, and went to any length to try to prevent me from doing so or attending meetings. God's Power is greater than all that. If you want the program, you can and will have it for yourself.
Thanks for all the GOOD shares here. If we want it, we only need "follow the directions on the box" . . . don't drink, go to meetings, ask for help.
Thanks for letting me share. It is carrying the message and helping another alcoholic achieve sobriety that keeps any of us sober and continuing in our own growth one day at a time. That is the essence of why we do the 12 Steps, is so we can. No one can give you what they haven't gotten themselves. And you can't keep it unless you give it away. Sponsorship is a 2 Way Street. Asking someone to be your sponsor helps them just as much as they are helping you. As its been said (Tradition 1) Its a "WE" Program. Pam
Member: renee
Location:
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 12:33:48 PM
philomena,,thnaks for your words of advice,,i apologize for making my posts in the wrong spot,,,feeling like a jerk right about now,,bye
Member: jeremiah m
Location: ohio
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 1:37:22 PM
hello
jeremiah..alcoholic i believe that sponsorship is a main part of recovery. a sponsor has to be somebody you can trust. i was told one time that a sponsor has to be at the very least one year sober. i believe that is good advise. i was pondering the idea of having a sponsor related to me. if any body out there has had an aunt or uncle their sponsor let me know how it worked out.
thankx....bye
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 4:30:54 PM
Chris, Here Alcoholic/addict/bulimic---Renee, my husband also didn't understand how much I needed A.A. , because I wasn't the kind of drunk his father was (passed out etc.). He really resented me going to meetings and in a way, it messed up his life for me to get well ( he would say he wanted me well--but living in it was another thing). That's where my sponser came in--she really gave me the support I needed to go this thing alone.( I really wasn't alone , I just didn't have my husband's support. Infact, he just about made me choose between A.A. and him) It is 7 yrs. later and we are both still here. Our marrage is finally better, though it took awhile.God has really done a miracle in mt husband's life. I think he is even beginning to see why and how much I need meetings. He still has no idea how important my sponsor is to me. I would never havemade it down this road without her. I had no desire to go back, though I have gotten perilously close at times. My HP has saved me. If I didn't have my sponsor to talk to and bounce my craziness off of I would definitely be back out. I can't beging to tell you what sanity it has brought me to have someone with good sobriety in my life. Speaking of sobriety, I feel like I am going crazy right now. I guess I need to talk to my sponsor! It is very hard for me to be open and vulnerable with my husband , and I feel like that is the next step in our marriage. I feel like my eating is out of control and I am uncomfortable with my pill taking. I am taking something new for "the change" and I don't feel in control of it. A very dangerous place for me to be. At least now , I don't have to beat myslef up so much, and I know where to go for help. THanks to the tools of this program, and the fellowship. I am so greatful that everyone is here today and has shared!
Member: Philomena
Location: So California
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 9:04:44 PM
Hi, Philomena, alcoholic, I apologize if I shared too many times in this one week I didnt know there was a limit. And I did read the begining. So Sobriety in Practice, Why are you taking my inventory? This is my first week ever sharing on line. I felt I waited in between times. Well, I was just trying to pass on what has been freely given. THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS. JUST TRYING TO HELP THE NEWCOMERS. God bless you all!
Member: Patti D
Location: Florida
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 9:07:19 PM
Everyday I think of why I need to stay away from Alcohol, and everyday I think of my son and how much he needs me sober.
Member: red
Location:
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 9:31:30 PM
is it working patti ?
Member: Elizabeth E.
Location: Southeastern USA
Date: 2/22/01
Time: 10:23:33 PM
My name is Elizabeth and I am an alcoholic. 7 years sober by the Grace of God and a fellowship of people I do believe loves me. Just left an AA Birthday Party with 40 years of sobriety being celebrated between 4 people! Talking about gratitude! "Rarely have we seen a person who has thoroughly followed our path" sets the stage for sponsorship. There is an entire chapter in the Big Book about working with others. How in the hell do you stay sober without someone pointing the way! People, there are no paths to blaze, they have already been paved. Mark from NYC you contradicted yourself when you said sponsors complicate recovery then turned around and said "But my theory is that whatever works is worth working. Being drunk all the time is so incredibly shitty that anything, absolutely anything, that help stop it is worth it. I couldn't get sober by myself and I still refuse to rely on my selfish and self-centered mind to make rational decisions. That is where a sponsor comes in. My sponsor was my first manager and I still use a sponsor with a working knowledge of the steps. If I am IN the program of Alcoholics Anonymous, then I walk the path the best I can. The program is the twelve steps. That path includes a sponsor. If I am AROUND the program of Alcoholics Anonymous then I don't want a sponsor, don't need one and the steps are for anyone but me. As a matter of fact, I think I'll rewrite the Big Book which worked for hundreds of thousands of alcoholics before me. That will not work for me. Mark C. from NYC, hope to continue to hear from you and let me know how you do it your way! Thanks for being here.
Member: Corinne B., Alcoholic
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 12:06:06 AM
For the benefit of anyone new to Staying Cyber, I would like to reprint the statement from the top of this page:
"The format for this meeting is a week long Topic Discussion. We ask that all sharing in this meeting be limited to the topic as it relates to your alcoholism and that each person try to share only once per week (this is not a chat room)
Please read the Posting Instructions before continuing."
[ link to Posting Instructions is provided toward top of page underneath the above quoted remarks ]
The operative word there was "try" - this is progress not perfection, leaving room for us all to make mistakes.
((Philomena)) & ((Renee)) I sure hope you both stick around and come on over to the Coffee Pot to become friends with each other and those of us over there. Most of us over there like the freedom to post whenever we like, which is what that page was designed for. Now that the suggested 300 word limit was lifted, as was the posting once per day suggestion when they drew up the new Pot, some of us do post more than once per day, and that is a-okay!
Anyway, that's my efforts at providing helpful hints for anyone new at Staying Cyber. I came here over 2 years ago in November 1998 when just arriving back on the recovery scene following a 6 1/2 year stint at R&D on the disease! Sponsorship was something I ignored my first time and I still wonder how on earth I white-knuckled it for so long! I had only gotten one in the first place just so I could say I had one, not so I would actually do anything she suggested! LOL!!
I cherish my newfound sobriety and am doing everything different this go round and it works. I ask for the things I want to do and usually I get to do them. Used to be, I'd sit back and wonder why nobody ever asked me to get involved! LOL!! So, now, if there's something I want to do, I go after it! "God helps those who help themselves" is so very true, indeed!
Member: Maurice L.
Location: Toronto
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 2:11:37 AM
I will be 6 years sober on March 1st.The program of A.A.has taught me to take life one day at a time.Compared to 6 years ago I take life as it comes,as before I would be worried about what was going to happen months from now,as well as hiding my emotions feelingsfrom everyone out of fear and that would lead me to get drunk again.Today I know to handle my emotions ,fears,&feelings,this is all thanks to A.A.Im so grateful I found these rooms.
Member: Maurice L.
Location: Toronto
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 2:11:45 AM
I will be 6 years sober on March 1st.The program of A.A.has taught me to take life one day at a time.Compared to 6 years ago I take life as it comes,as before I would be worried about what was going to happen months from now,as well as hiding my emotions feelingsfrom everyone out of fear and that would lead me to get drunk again.Today I know to handle my emotions ,fears,&feelings,this is all thanks to A.A.Im so grateful I found these rooms.
Member: renee
Location:
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 9:12:11 AM
I just checked out the """COFFEE POT""" it is more like a three ring circus,,,7 days sober here,,,i will try to find a more appropriate site for my postings. Thanks all for your kind words that got me through this first week.
Member: TiffanyB
Location: Leesburg, Va
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 1:47:54 PM
Hello Everyone, it has taken me over an hour to read the entire discussion just so I can put down my views; but I am glad that I have. I am in a program called ASAP in Virginia and am required to go to meetings by stipulation of my probation, however I realize through the live meetings and through reading all of your thoughts, feelings and individual circumstances that I am learning about my problem with alcohol. And I THANK YOU ALL
I have just recently accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic and have been initiated into the AA program. I am less than one month sober; but it is a start and I have learned that the beginning steps are the most important even though they are the hardest. Last week I wrote how frustrated I am with my situation . . . well I am past that and have moved towards acceptance and recovery. This is not easy because I have a bipolar condition and so sometimes my life is extremely chaotic--in very negative ways and in even in positive ways. Drinking for me has always been just social but has led to some terrible situations after the party.
I am glad to have all of your insights to read because it makes me realize I am not alone. Others have wrecked their lives with alcohol but are recovering with the help of others.
Thanks!
Member: Meaghan
Location: Colorado
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 1:48:01 PM
Reading all the posts from people like me is great. I've been trying to quit drinking for the past two years, unsuccessfully. I haven't had a drink in 3 days and it's driving me nuts. I am a student of religion who doesn't believe in God, but I guess that the community could be my higher power. I am afraid to go to a real meeting - I know how stupid that sounds, but I can't talk to real people face-to-face at this point. I tried going to meetings here a couple of years back, but just couldn't connect with anyone. I was younger than everyone, and couldn't make myself talk. This email thing might be a huge help to me...Thanks for listening.
Member: Patti D
Location: Orlando
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 2:52:19 PM
I too find it hard to go to meetings , maybe afraid of people staring at me I don't know ! But I too am glad that they have this on line it will help me alot also Meahgan.
Member: lu-lu
Location:
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 3:28:30 PM
renee, its not a three ring circus..............
..........its like pt barnum&baily .......
.........its more fun then a barrell of monkeys..............typing monkeys that is.
tee-he-he
Member: jj
Location: s.c.
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 6:47:29 PM
My name is Jennifer and I'm a very grateful recovering alkie. Meetings were difficult for me at first too. I was only 16 when I went to my first. I went to give support to a friend. {Of course, I didn't need help-ha-ha} Anyway, the smoke filled room was crowded with men older then my grandfather. I was scared that I might break one of the rules they had posted on the wall. So I just remained silent. {I later learned those "rules" were only suggestions.} Anyway, nobody spoke to me so I left scared. The next time I went to another meeting I was 19 and despirate. Therefore, willing to take the chance. The next meeting went better. Although it had appeared I walked into the same room, the men's reaction let me know that I had not. I was greeted warmly and given a Big Book. The fellas kept telling me that I was the most important person there and to please come back. I wasn't able to look any of them in the eye, so I noticed they all had Mason's rings on. Then it occurred to me that the reason I was the most important person was because I was about to be the only woman Mason in the world! Of course, just because the Masons are a secret society and AA is anonymous does not mean they are one in the same. Needless to say, after a couple more meetings I learned the sad truth that I would not be getting one of those pretty rings. But I kept coming back, and eventually I was willing to go to any length to stay sober. In plain English that meant getting a sponsor and taking the steps. Meetings are where I find Sponsorship. Sponsorship is were I find Sobriety. Sobriety is were I find Peace and the God of my understanding. It has worked that simply for 12 years and that's a lot to be grateful for.
Member: legrandplayer
Location: ottawa.ontario
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 7:05:14 PM
i my name is dan im an alcoolic drank for 24 years i hit what they call rock bottem lost my licence my job my self esteem if i ever had any and almost lost my wife and kids i have now been sober for 9 days but with the help of aa meetings god knows how many times ive tried on my own be4 but to no avail been to 3 meetings now and enjoy them only cause i know deep down its my time to quit the insanity 4ever i have tried so many times to quit on my own but who was i kidding as soon as i would feel better i would go on another binger everytime i got stressed out i got drunk hurting the people i love the most see i dont even know who the real dan is yet since i started drinking when i was 13 years old but now that i have people who help me im learning a bit about myself already and yes life is much better sober than drunk already im noticing more patience around the kids and my loving wife i understand the messege its verry clear taht the only people who can help me are people who are like me ty all
Member: Sharon Frey
Location: cloudy, grey, cool dayin Portland,OR
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 7:20:51 PM
Hi, Sharon, alki here. I was told when I arrived at my 1st AA meeting.. to treat my disease of Alcoholism like I would treat diabetis..If diabetic.. I'd take insulin, as an Alcoholic.. I take AA as my dose of medicine, daily for awhile then I found that I wanted to go to those f---n meetings. I've been doing that for almost 23 yrs. I have days that a day is impossible BUT 4 cotton pick'en minutes I can do.. so my day often runs on 4 min. days. I had no choice (soI thought_ in a sponsor.. I was given one.. Thank God ! I outlasted him in the program as he went out at 19 yrs..but is back and is now walking the walk and not talking so much. His life is the words that the new person hears and sees.. I thought that we "old-timers" were suppose to be an attraction not a preacher.. (as a preacher's daughter,I know preachers...lol.) To the new person, KEEP COMING BACK, BRING THE BODY AND THE MIND WILL FOLLOW. Love and prayers, Sharon F slfrey@Yahoo.com
Member: DAN S
Location: CLEVELAND,OHIO
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 7:44:10 PM
I HEAR U DAN. I HAD 2 DUI`S LOST MY LICENSE FOR 2 YEARS. I GOT IT BACK RECENTLY AND AM JUST NOW TRYING TO GET BACK TO AA. WENT TO A FEW ALREADY AND AM GETTING READY TO GO NOW. ITS 7:40p.m. IN CLEVELAND,OHIO AND THE MEETING IS AT 8. SO HANG IN THERE
Member: Kerry C.
Location: California
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 8:39:33 PM
Hi all, I've been reading through all the postings, I hear alot of it's a "we" program. Well, nobody came to A.A. so "WE" could get sober. You come to A.A. to get yourself sober. It's a "SELFLESS" program. In order to stay sober you "must" give this thing away freely. By giving of yourself and being selfless on a daily basis your rewarded with another day of sobriety. So, yes "we" do help eachother, But, no "we" don't keep anyone sober. That's the reward we get for being selfless! Wishing you all many happy days of sobriety!
Member: amy
Location: Ca
Date: 2/23/01
Time: 11:20:34 PM
I've never been to a meeting or even openly admitted I have a problem. But I do. (Sorry, if there is a topic, I don't know it.) I don't know what to do. I can't seem to stop. At least once a week. I'm ruining my relationship with my fiance and I am sad and ashamed all the time. I am so unhappy. I've looked up meeting locations in my area and am trying to find the courage to go. I am not a religeous person and have resisted aa meetings because it seems to be a big part of it. I'm hoping that meetings can help me without trying to convert me. I have no interest in turning my will over to God. Anyway, this is the first time I've ever admitted that I AM an alcoholic. I can't believe this has happened to me. How did I get to this point? I hope the meetings help. Because I cannot go on like this. That's it for now.
Member: GARY G
Location: ALASKA, USA
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 6:33:04 AM
My Name is Gary and I'm an alcholic, Sober for 19 years, thankyou for my life everyone. I not very good with a the computer so I'll get off quick. To John O from Ireland, just ask for a contact phone # after the meeting don't say you need a sponsor just say this Iliked what you said wheen you were talking and I was wondering if I could get your phone number or we could get a cup of coffee and talk. Where I'm from the'll give you the phone # 99 out of 100 times. So after 60 days you will have 60 phone numbers and 60 new friends. After awhile pick one of them to be your sponsor. Its easy if you get to know them as friends first. This is how I did it. By the way my ancestors are from county Mead and county Clavin. There is also a good pamphlet (AA) called sponsorship pick it up at a meeting. I hopes this helps you
Member: Linda
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 6:44:43 AM
AMY - I am not religous at all, I am spiritual. When I came into the program I found out that I was spiritual all along, I just didn't know that's what it was. My point is just because you believe something doesn't necessarily make it true. Call your AA Central Office, the're in the phone book, get someone to help you, go to a treatment center...that's a real eye opener, you don't have to live like this anymore.
Member: dan, s
Location: cleveland,ohio
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 8:53:17 AM
Amen Amy
Member: LeeEllen
Location: MI
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 11:12:38 AM
AMY - I'm LeeEllen & recovering alcoholic. I felt just like you do---I wanted NO part of the "God" stuff. I really wasn't aware that God or a Higher Power was discussed alot at meetings. But at my first meeting, that's exactly what I heard and I was disheartened. I too didn't want to surrender myself to some unknown being---I wasn't even sure there was one. Trouble is, everyone there had a sort of peace and contentment that I'd been searching for for so long and the only way I was going to find out how they got it was to keep going to meetings. My understanding of it all didn't come quickly but I learned early-on that all I had to do was be WILLING. AA isn't religious, thank goodness, or I would't be sober today. AA is spiritual---you can have your own personal Higher Power, one that you can relate to. It can be a tree, rock, man, woman---whatever. All we're asked to do is believe in a power greater than ourselves----how can we dispute that?
Please make a call to AA---like Linda said, you don't have to live like this anymore. It's not easy, but it's simple. Peace, LeeEllen
Member: TiffanyB
Location: Leesburg, Va
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 12:07:02 PM
To Gary G of Alaska,
Thanks for the information that you gave John from Ireland. I am new to the program myself and rather unfamiliar with how to go about doing things. The more I learn about the program the more the program will be able to help me help myself.
I appreciated your advice, even though it was directed to him; that is what is so nice about this site.
Thanks.
Member: SayedU
Location: Leesburg,VA
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 12:15:17 PM
Hi my name is Sayed and I have 1 dui and am going to court soon for another. You could say that alcohol has done nothing but get me into trouble. A friend told me about this site and I am gladd she didd because I think I will get alot out of reading all of youo insight and things that have hpppened to you, just like me.
I am an alcoholic and I go to aa meetings but I don't say much at them because I don't always feel comfortable I am more comfortable here.
I ddidn't see a topic so I thought I would just kinda introduce myself and get used to typing my thoughts. The most important thing I can see about this site is the fact that everyone is the same we all are alcoholics and we all are sharing so that maybe we can get help and help each other. bye
Member: Mark B
Location: Eielson AFB, AK
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 12:21:53 PM
Mark, alcoholic. Know what? God gives me what I need when I need it, not what I want, when I want it. Took me a long time to come to terms with that simple bit of wisdom. We're supposed to go into the deep freeze this weekend, looking at at about -25, so, I'm just gonna hunker down in my warm house, count my blessings, and do some meditating. Keep the faith.
Mark
Member: Jeff
Location: Northern CA
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 12:31:07 PM
Hi - My name is Jeff and I am an alcoholic. I am slowly learning how to stay sober and be more comfortable. My experience with sponsors has been good. I seem to see looking back that I have asked someone to be my sponsor when I needed help. It was an open invitation to them to listen to another drunk and offer their experience strength and hope to me -one on one- outside of the meetings.
I am trying not to get hung up on terms- It has been pointed out above that the Big Book was written in 1935 and other clubs, movements and organizations used the term sponsor - much of what we have is borrowed. I don't even think the term is in the book - but the idea of one drunk working with another is.
When I ask someone in AA to sponsor me - they know what I mean. Just like when I say I am an alcoholic. It establishes a relationship one drunk with another...both trying to stay sober with some power greater than themself.
The guys I have asked to sponser me are the ones who I wanted to be like in AA. I was (and am still) scared to ask for help- when I have asked AA has been there 4 states 3yrs 6 months w/o drinking. Thanks to God,AA, and everyone here and at the meetings.
Member: Patti D.
Location: Orlando
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 12:43:41 PM
Hi Red yes it is working my son is my life, He is all I have and I am all he has since his dad walked out on us we have had it kind of rough but now things are looking up . I thank God for what I do have instead of always crying for what I don't have.
Member: charlie
Location: uk
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 1:07:15 PM
hi i"m charlie. a grateful recovering alcoholic of 173 days , just loving sobriety after 28 years of progressive chaos and seeing the miraculous effect it is having on my family -one day at a time; just checking in and practicing my typing on a freezing day in england. god bless.
Member: Sam J
Location: Southeast
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 4:10:00 PM
Hi everyone. I am an alkie and the name is Sam. By the grace of God my last drink was on Nov. 13, 1975. I, like everyone else, want things to get better immediately. For some reason I did not expect immediate results this time. I walked out on my family (wife and 4 children) in 1969 so I could spend more time drinking. When I got sober in 1975 I did not try to make amends to them immediately because I thought I should demonstrate to them that I was trying to do better. (not just talk a good game). I waited until I was sober 4 years before I tried to make amends to the ex and my children. Those amends were not accepted at the time and I realized that all I could do was try. I could not force them to accept my amends. I tried to look at things from their point of view. I asked myself many times "How would I feel about my parents if they had treated me the the same way I treated my children?" The answer that I always got was "I would hope that I would forgive them but it is quite possible that I would hate them until the day I die". Because of this I could not blame my children for any feelings they may have had toward me. Just in the last two years 3 of my 4 children have forgiven me. I have been able to spend some time with them and the grand children that I had never seen. I guess what I am trying to say is that if we will just be patient the good things will eventually happen. Just don't give up. Just a word to Sayed who said that he doesn't say much at meetings. I never said much at meetings either in the early days. However, I was listening very closely. That was best for me because I had nothing to contribute to a meeting anyhow. I needed to listen to the others and learn how they stayed sober. The problems I had because of my drinking were best discussed with my sponsor and not in a meeting. I have looked back over my life and I can't find a single time that I learned something while I was talking. It is said in our literature that resentment is the number one enemy of the alcoholic and I have no argument with that. However I believe that complacency runs a close second to resentment. I have seen over and over again the results of a person thinking he has learned all there is to know about this disease and decides to rest on their laurels. That is a definite invitation to disaster. I try to remember that I need AA just as much today as I did in the very beginning. In other words, I hope I shall always be a newcomer. Thanks so much for letting me share. I wish all a happy sobriety.
Member: Fred M
Location: MD
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 7:33:08 PM
I'm Fred and I'm an alcoholic, sober today by the grace of my Higher Power and the AA fellowship.
Just wanted to check in and say I celebrated my 22nd year sober with my home group last night. To those still struggling or new to AA, just keep going to meetings, keep coming to this site, sharing when you can find the courage, and listening to those in the rooms. Life gets better if you just don't drink.
Last night I shared about my gratitude to be sober. My higher power reached down and saved my life just because I asked. I know the newcomers are doubtful about the spiritual aspects of this program and so was I. At first, I just went through motions. Then I started to realize answers were coming to me. I also realized that my simple prayer to stop the craving for a drink was answered almost immediately. Slowly, I started realizing that I was not the center of the universe. There were other people, a lot of them vastly wiser and smarter than me. Thank God, I was able to listen and try to do what they suggested.
The Promises have come true in my life. Thanks for letting me share. Love, Fred
Member: Sheryl G
Location: Fort Wayne, IN
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 8:00:41 PM
Hi, my name is Sheryl, and I am an alcohlic. Today was my first AA meeting. I am 19 days sober. For the last 3 years, I couldn't "survive" without drinking and passing out at night. Before and during Detox, that was my thinking. It's a long road ahead, but I need to do something to help myself along the way. I appreciate this site, and look forward to sharing and gleening insite from others here. Thanks for being here. Sheryl
Member: David R.
Location: Southern Va.
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 8:07:01 PM
David R. checking in again on my fifth day sober. Ironically enough, I work in a local mental health/ drug and alcohol clinic, so it is difficult for me to attend local meetings guranteed of meeting "clients" that I referred there. So I understand about what many of you are saying about the fear and awkardness of face to face meetings. Maybe someday with the grace of God, I can overcome my fear. For right now, this forum is helping a great deal. Anyway made it through Friday and Saturday (usually my drunkest days), and looking forward to tomorrow, and waking up with energy and a little more happier. God bless you all, and keep up your fight one day at a time. Talk to yall later.
Member: Joe
Location: Ohio
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 9:54:23 PM
Amy- The steps are in the order that they are in for a certain reason. Now that you are starting step one, worry about step one. It took me a lot of work for me to develop a realtionship with a god of my understanding.But untill I realized that I am one sick individual and that I can't get sober on my own and that I was sick and tired of being sick and tired then I turned to God. If you have read WE AGNOSTICS it explains in detail about yours and mine situation. " To be doomed to and alcoholic death or to live on a spritual basis are not always easy alternaties to face."
I believe that you have made a great in just admitting that you are an alcoholic. You have started the foundation on which upon you will find true happiness in recovery.
Member: Brian S.
Location: manchesterNH
Date: 2/24/01
Time: 10:19:17 PM
Hello! thanks to all those who shared on this site. I couldn't make a meeting today(i'm away from my home manchester NH) so I looked online and came up with this.
as for sponsors they are great. Asking my sponsor to sponsor me was the most awkward thing I have ever done but it has been one of the greatest rewards I have been granted besides sobriety. I can tell him my problems and cocerns and he can help me understand how my twisted thinking has warped how I view almost everything i think has relevence in my life. I'm still kind of new at sharing and I only have 7 months I just would really thank AA for being there for me and all it's members.THANKS!!
Member: john h
Location: abbotsford
Date: 2/25/01
Time: 2:26:58 AM
john here and i am an alcoholic. liked some off the postings on sponsors. I spent the better part of 16 years in and out of A.A. never did have or attempt to really get to know a sponsor during that time. some off us learn slower than others. sober six years last month. Same sponsor has given me all six cakes. my sponsor does not keep me sober, but after many ackward conversations we have come together to a point that we are happy with each other. For this unique drunk i know thast i am blessed to have come to the point were i reach out for help and thankfully there are lots of hands waiting to help me when i reach out. Keep at it folks as it really does get better.
Member: Rich R, slowly recovering compulsive person :-)
Location: Detroit
Date: 2/25/01
Time: 2:32:39 AM
Rich R, checking in. I heard a guy on a tape recently say he had self-medicated for 37 years! I thought, 'I could use that statement, I have self-medicated for 44 years before I found recovery.' I thought some more (a dangerous avocation for me) and realized I am STILL self-medicating after 10 years of recovery. The only difference is before I used to medicate with alcohol, gambling, nicotine, food, caffeine, whereas now I medicate with the Internet, listening to radio and tapes, pornography, and trying to control myself and others. Thanks for letting me share
Member: Robert J
Location: Idaho
Date: 2/25/01
Time: 4:44:08 AM
I'm an Alcoholic, my name is Robert.. I'm also a recovering prick due to the disease of Alcoholism.. Also known as TrudgerRobert.. Haveing a sponser is supposed to be hard as it was said earlier, cause it makes you work harder your sobriety and calls you on your shit.. Welcome to all the new members.. As for this ROO and or Lu Lu get a life this supposed to be serious things here takeing care of our sobriety not for being an idiot... Haveing multiple sponser's has helped me very much and saved my ass.. Being a sponser also saved my ass.. Being a sponser is being of service to yourself as well as to another Alcoholic.. James, I too found my sponser's all at live meetings but, at the sametime if you can't get to a live meeting this type or the grapevine are great ways to suppliment yourself to add to your sobriety insurance policy.. AZBill, I love it when come in here and see you here.. It's always great to read what you have to say.. I hope to see you here again.. Thank you for letting me share.. I can not aplogize for my speaking my peace with regards to this ROO or Lu Lu who ever it is.. I just don't feel saying what he or she was saying was very sober.. Love You All Lots.. Remember; Don't Drink No Matter What, and Go TO Meetings, Nad talk to your sponser or sponser's..
Member: Robert J
Location: Idaho
Date: 2/25/01
Time: 4:45:06 AM
I'm an Alcoholic, my name is Robert.. I'm also a recovering prick due to the disease of Alcoholism.. Also known as TrudgerRobert.. Haveing a sponser is supposed to be hard as it was said earlier, cause it makes you work harder your sobriety and calls you on your shit.. Welcome to all the new members.. As for this ROO and or Lu Lu get a life this supposed to be serious things here takeing care of our sobriety not for being an idiot... Haveing multiple sponser's has helped me very much and saved my ass.. Being a sponser also saved my ass.. Being a sponser is being of service to yourself as well as to another Alcoholic.. James, I too found my sponser's all at live meetings but, at the sametime if you can't get to a live meeting this type or the grapevine are great ways to suppliment yourself to add to your sobriety insurance policy.. AZBill, I love it when come in here and see you here.. It's always great to read what you have to say.. I hope to see you here again.. Thank you for letting me share.. I can not aplogize for my speaking my peace with regards to this ROO or Lu Lu who ever it is.. I just don't feel saying what he or she was saying was very sober.. Love You All Lots.. Remember; Don't Drink No Matter What, and Go TO Meetings, Nad talk to your sponser or sponser's..