Results from Form 1 of Page discussm.htm

Member: Maria H.
Location: N.E. Pa.
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 13:16:00

Comments

Member: Therese.
Location: Spain
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 13:35:16

Comments

Hi my name is Therese and I am an alcoholic, How about anger as a topic. Thankyou.

Member: MICHELLE C
Location: GEORGIA
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 15:06:55

Comments

I THINK ANGER IS A GOOD TOPIC.i'm angry today that i'm an addict. I wonder where I went wrong?How did I get like this.and how did I think i was in control. any feedback? imgeninii666@yahoo.com or just icq me 30627979

Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 15:15:22

Comments

Larry, alcoholic

Thank you Therese, anger is an excellent topic.

Throughout my life, I had only 2 ways of expressing anger: resentment or rage. I held deep resentments from experiences that I had carried around from my earliest childhood memories. I resented my parents, schools, church, friends, relatives, employers..in other words just about anyone or anything I had ever come into contact with. I especially hated authority figures. I was haunted by these memories. They would come crashing into my awareness unbidden at any time - while I was walking down the street, watching TV, sitting in a business meeting - and I would suddenly feel the same anger and rage I had first experienced at the time, even if the incident had occurred 20 years before. The incidents usually involved being humiliated or controlled by others, especially those more powerful than I.

In my adult life, I was constantly exploding into rage at the most trivial things. I would scream at my wife and kids, break things, and generally act like a child having a temper tantrum.

My 4th and 5th Steps changed all that. I was able to forgive others - or at least let go of my anger towards them - and forgive myself. Over the following months I noticed that the haunting memories had ceased, never to return. My rage slowly ceased as well. Sometimes when I would explode into rage, it felt like another power had seized control of me. Even though I didn't want to say any nasty, abusive things, the words would just come pouring out of my mouth as I stood helpless to prevent it from happening. I would sort of step outside myself and watch myself doing and saying things I didn't want to do or say. It was a very strange, frightening experience.

Slowly I was able to create some distance between the event that got me angry and my reaction to it. I did it at first by justing counting to 10. Sometimes I'd only make it to 3, but that was a good start for me! Now I don't try to control or suppress my anger; it'll just come out in some form or another eventually. I have a process for dealing with anger that works well for me. (1) I need to acknowledge the anger and accept whatever situation is prompting it; (2) I need to deal with the situation appropriately and constructively; (3) I need to let go of the anger; and (4) move on. If, after calm reflection later on, I come to realize that I didn't handle the situation appropriately or constructively, then I have Step 10 to correct that failure.

I don't really agree with the 12x12 (Step 10) statement that "...anger ought to be left to those better qualified to handle it." Anger isn't the problem - anger is a part of the basic survival instinct - it's my reaction to it. If I truly believe that I can be "restored to sanity", I also believe that I can become "better qualified to handle" my anger. I do agree with the 12x12 (Step 4) statement that "instincts...often far exceed their proper functions." I think the underlying cause for my anger was excessive fear, which has begun to dissipate as the Promises come true in my life.

So now I'm no longer afraid of my anger, nor do I deny it or feel guilty about it. Being angry to me now just means that I feel I've been hurt or am being threatened somehow. Sometimes my perceptions are wrong and I haven't really been hurt or threatened at all. Sometimes I have in fact been hurt or threatened and I need to do something about it. But that doesn't mean I scream or yell or throw things or make nasty, sarcastic remarks or threaten people or seek revenge. Those things just make matters worse and undermine my serenity. If I'm spriritually fit, I merely take calm, sober action. Sometimes that action is to simply accept that I've been hurt, that there's nothing I can do to change that fact, let go of it, and move on.

Thanks for letting me share.

Peace & Serenity

Member: JOHN J.
Location: BRANCHVILLE N. J.
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 15:24:08

Comments

John-ALCOHOLIC-Thanks for the topic Theresa.Ever since I started comming to meetings I've always been told that anger was bad. I dont agree with that. I know that resentment is the # 1 killer of alcoholics, however I think its how we work through our anger that makes it healthy or unhealthy ( I know that I dont always choose the healthy way for various sick reosons) But I was taught early on from one of my sponcers,that anger comes from fear, and that it is imposible to have anger without some kind of fear. I know this is true in my case from working through alot of my anger. It has taught me alot about myself and certain character- defects that Iwasn't aware of SOME of them I've been lucky enough to let my H P remove from me for now. So I really think anger could be a very usefull tool for me in my sobriety if I can look at it in this way. Besides how could we ever do a 4 th step without resentments. Thanks again for letting me share JOHN J.

Member: John.L
Location: Delaware
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 16:41:35

Comments

HI my name is John alkie/addict!anger is a good topic seeing how the one i put in her today did not even get put on here,so i'm dealing with a little anger!but i've already 449 in the BB on acceptance and things happening for a reason.cause i have alot today!!!and its nopt good for me.and it isn't healthy for my sobriety either."i put a thing in hear at 12:30 today and it didn't come up.and i was hoping to talk about graditude and acceptance in recovery.but i geust my god is playing a sobriety test on me to see how i work through this!!!!I just hope i pass!!!cause i have alot of High Class problems today,you know"paying bills,going to the grocery store to by food,having to pay rent!!all high class problems today,but i can't get upset over these things today and have them getting me angry.cause if i wasn't sober.my only problem would be staying alive.so yes anger is a good topic and i'm glad to be able to share on it.cause if i wasn't sober my only anger would be that,someones sleeping in my card board box under the bridge,or that some one got to the trash cans before me.so i'm just glad to be who i am today,and the fact that i know how to work through my anger today.and not let it bring me down to a level that will get me drunk!!!!!for what???no other reason then i'm angry things didn't go my way!and"I"didn't get what"I" wanted.instead of what god wanted for me today. Thanks for listening!signed John

Member: Mary
Location: Missouri
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 16:54:00

Comments

This is a good topic. I think my problem is that I have always kept my anger in untill it builds to an unmanagable level. I would drink and then let everything come out..Just as my mother had done. I am not so angry anymore, Iam more thankful than anything.

Member: JB
Location: Minneapolis
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 17:10:08

Comments

My name is J and I am a grateful alcoholic. Larry I really appreciated what you had to say about anger, especially what it said in the 12x12. As a woman I had to learn how to get angry appropriately when my boundaries were being crossed. Before sobriety I was either taking all the blame for a situation or being rageful and verbally abusive. I now trust my feelings, all of my feelings, and when I feel angry I stop and look at what is going on, maybe call my sponsor and bounce off a few ideas, and then take steps to either let go and let God or do something constructive. I am very grateful that I haven't been verbally abusive to anyone in over five years (it took some time in sobriety to over come that character defect.) Anyway thanks again Theresa for a great topic. Peace.

Member: Billy M
Location: Pascagoula, Ms
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 17:26:09

Comments

You know I too was misguided early about this issue. Anger is a very human emotion. I have had more success with learning appropriate ways of expressing my anger. What do I have to live and never be angry again? I don't think so. I have learn some tools like, counting to ten before I open my mouth. Not being afraid of not knoing the answer. Ask for help. Address all the issue in my life. They don't just disappear because I ignore them. My anger does not have to rule me today. I do have to own up to it and try to find a healthy solution to what is pissing me off.

Member: Billy M
Location: Pascagoula, Ms
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 17:29:26

Comments

Member: jack a
Location: st.louis
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 17:55:20

Comments

.I love the anger prayer on page 67 in the big bookBARBARA

Member: Christine J.
Location: Juneau, Alaska
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 18:57:54

Comments

Thanks for the topic Teresa. When I first came into the program 8 months ago, I had a lot of anger and didn't know how to deal with it, today I am learning to vent it in a much healthier way, like writing about it or talking about it, much safer for me and everyone else and keeps me out of jail. Took a lot of going to meetings and working with my sponser to get to where I'm at today. Somedays are better than others, working the steps really helps and takes me to a place of surrender each time. Before I got to this program I had no idea how angry I was and how it was everyone's fault. Today I'm learning to grow up a little and take responsibility for my own actions. Glad to have made it back into the program. Today is one of my better days. Thanks to all who have shared.

Member: Lisa C
Location: Manhattan
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 19:16:17

Comments

I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. Anger is a normal human emotion. What I have needed to do was to learn what to do so that my anger doesn't turn into resentment. Everyone becomes angry sometimes; learning to handle, channel, use anger constructively is our challenge.

Member: Dora G
Location: Virginia
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 19:29:39

Comments

Thank you for an excellent topic. I find that my anger usually leads to rage and resentment that is ultimately self-destructive in nature. I know that 4 me unresolved anger will eventually get me drunk and I can't afford that. I have been told to always look at myself and my own involvement in any situation that makes me angry or resentful. Once I do this and complete a 10th Step and sometimes a 9th Step I find that it just wasn't that important in the first place. What I have to remember now is that other people have the right to be wrong and the only reaction or action I can control is mine.

Member: Rick H.
Location: Illinois
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 20:17:08

Comments

Hello I'm Rick an Alcoholic: Today anger is not an option for me because I know that if I let people,places or things that I can't control rent space in my head I'll no doubt pick up a drink.Don't get me wrong I still get angery but I use prayer and other little tricks to get get over it quickly.I won't tell you what those tricks are because they might not work for you,but you'll figure something out.Imissed my meeting tonite thank god this site is here. STAY SOBER THANKS

Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 20:42:17

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) ((therese)) ANGER= good topic, I came in angry at the world, angry with what life had dealt me, hell i'd been married at 15 cause my boyfriend who i'd know since i was 11 had just gotten his draft notice & that meant Viet Nam, mother at 16, again at 17, divorced at 18 to raise 2 babies on my own, a future, not one that looked promising. i was a child raising children. i was overwhelmed most of the time. valiium (dr prescribed) and booze were my only friends, till they turned on me. So yes, I blamed my ex, my kids, my family, the system etc, etc. never seeing my part in all my problems, MY DECISIONS created my life's problems, nobody else, when i got here at 30 a glimmer of hope for the first time entered a very confused and tormented soul. from the first day in the program the gal that took me to my first meeting and told me to buy a big book and read pages 60thru63, 449thru452 and 83&84. all of a sudden, i started to realize that one day i could be anger free if i took these peoples suggestions. my decisions and reactions to things had created this mess of a life, i was out of answers, thank God for AA and thank AA for my God. - Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon - bonzoc@webtv.net

Member: Muriel L.
Location: Hobbema.Ab.Ca.
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 21:25:12

Comments

Hi, Muriel an Alcoholic. I too, am glad the topic is anger. good topic, I too arrived at A.A. in the same condition as others. angry, bitter and no self worth. My firse year in program was spent just staying sober. It was then that i began the challenging work of inner transformation. I became even angier there for a awhile. I finally moved into another phase after the fourth, which did not come easy it was not for another year that i began my recovery on an individual basis with the Creator as I understood him. Change is not an easy process, and rarily happens quickly. Many things must be understood and accepted. Hey, it's truly sad that we did not get the kind of care or teachings that we deserved. but were here and the extremely fortunate to have the suggested steps to guide our growth. I am native american and I found A.A. and native american philosophy co-inside in many ways. It is therefore good to here the same things in two places. theresa just hang in there!you are actually in a very good place . You now have an opportunity to make the person you want to be and was mean't be. control is a big thing thing in our lives-we all gotta have it in some form. Now you get too say how and what you are going to believe. Not the world. Go for it!

Member: Rob P.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 22:22:09

Comments

Hi, My name is Rob, and I am an alcoholic, and today I am grateful to say that. Anger is a wonderful topic. I have learned that my anger was a direct result of something or someone I feared. Fear triggerd the "fight or flight" responce. I learned that my fear was generated by something I feel I would lose or I wouldn't get my way. Prayer help with anger. But with me it took time for my perspective to change. It took working a 4th step with my sponser to help me find what I was upset about and what I was scared of losing. I still get "Teed up" at times but the times I stay upset are less and less. I don't think I will ever get over being mad. I hope I get better in handling it. Thanks for letting me share. Rob

Member: wendy h.
Location: Worcester, MA
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 22:34:04

Comments

hi all, I agree with those who shared that anger is not a 'bad' thing. It is a very natural and healthy emotion. I am the type who NEVER got angry, always but on the fake smile and said everything was o.k. and then I drank, and all those other self destructive behaviors that I use in place of alcohol. When I got to AA, again, I used the 12 steps as an excuse to not deal with my anger. I'd jump right over/under/around anger by going right to the serenity prayer and 3rd step w/o ever "going through" it. I also gained about 25 lbs. in my first year of sobriety. Now, in order to stay sober and stop using food as a drug, I gotta get angry. I gotta let go of that anger but not until I feel it and feel it fully.

Im not angry today but have let myself get pretty isolated from AA and am trying to reach out again. If anyone is interested in emailing Im at aa010989@hotmail.com, and can be reached on the ICQ #30886995. I would love to talk program with anyone who is interested!!

Member: brandon jf
Location:
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 22:35:54

Comments

my name is Brandon J.F. i need help!!!

Member: Kim M.
Location: Pontiac, Il.
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 22:44:38

Comments

Thank you for the awesome topic! I think that for myself anger is healthy as long as I handle it properly. I do that today with the serenity pra yer adding a few simple remiders: God Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change(other people and their choices and or dissions) The courage to change the things I can(myself and my choices and or dissions) and The wisdom to know the difference for today. When I put it in these simple phrases I seem to find a calm peace. Allowing God to do for me what I can not do for myself!!!! Thank you for sharing and thank you all for the great comments! Kim M.

Member: Susan P
Location: Northwest Indiana
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 23:06:45

Comments

Hello, great meeting, great topic! Brandon, hang in there - phone your local AA help line. You don't have to do this alone. Regarding the topic of anger, for me it is a dangerous emotion. People, places and things didn't work out the way I thought they needed to i.e. the world according to Susan, so I would show you, I would get drunk! And who did that hurt? My family, loved ones and myself. Anger was followed by guilt, remorse, feelings of worthlessness, and then more anger. A vicious circle - which the love and support of this wonderful fellowship can smash and give you the tools you need to put your life back together. Anger can get you drunk if you wallow in it, or see it as "justifiable". That's my experience. Prayer is the tool I use on my daily journey toward the Promises. Thanks everyone for sharing in this meeting. Peace, love and God bless you all.

Member: greg h
Location: millwaukee, wisconsin
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 23:42:45

Comments

hi i am greg and am an alcoholic. brandon j.f.- you can e-mail me at: dwarf66@hotmail.com. maybe i can help! anger is a very good topic for me. i have found that i am still very excitable. that lends itself to many problems: one of them being anger. when i get angry, i get resentful and seek revenge or blame others. when i can get past the anger, pray for the others and realize my part of the circumtances, the anger begins to lift and fade. it is ok to get angry, but using anger properlly is the real problem. i sometimes struggle with that. working with others gets me out of myself and allows me the chance to cool myself off. thus, i think, allowing me to look at what is happening more rational. thaanks annd love in the program, greg h

Member: PattiK
Location: Near Woodstock
Date: 21 Feb 1999
Time: 23:59:09

Comments

Hi I'm PattiK, recovering alcoholic. Anger was my middle name before I got sober as well as in the beginning of my sobriety. This is a really good topic, for any alcoholic. After 2+ years in the program i'm going to lots of meetings, finally really working the steps, including step 3 as needed. Today I find, that while my anger[my will] can pop up unexpectedly I can see it coming and pray for guidance, and it resolves into a more construtive way to deal with whatever is happening. The serenity prayer is a good tool and some of the slogans, especially easy does it. //today I can deal with things I once carried around as resentments, with bosses, with friends and with many family members. Wiith the resolution of these angry resentments I am truly finding a new peace, like the promises tell us. I'm happy to be an alcoholic today otherwise I never would have found this program and got the chance to make positive changes in my attitudes and my life. Thanks for letting me share and thanks to all of you who come here.

Member: joyce p
Location: utah
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 00:20:36

Comments

hi! joyce, alcoholic i don't get here ofter but love it when i do, branden, try the things recommeneded, call aa, e-mail gregg, there is a solution, i know. i got here 14 years ago and you never saw a sicker, more angry street tough. but i was also totally whipped by the booze and drugs. i've come to be very grateful that i was that whipped. i had all the charm of a stepped on snake, and angry? bet your boots i was angry. i've heard alot of good stuff tonight, especially the our anger is based in fear, every time i've lifted up the edge of my anger i've found fear under there. i'm grateful today that there very few things i find worth getting angry over, let me tell you, that is major growth, and ofcourse i have aa to thank. hugs to all

Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 00:38:32

Comments

Hi, I'm Jim, and I'm a grateful recovering Alcoholic...

Lots of good comments, thank you. Damn! I wanted to be first! LOL

Anger's always been a controling force in my alcoholism. I've drank over it many times. Sh!t, I drank over all my defects... but anger was right up their at the top.

You know what helps me these days? My Age. I'm just getting too old (only 43) to get riled. I've seen too many friends fall because of their anger and resentments... that's where my God comes in... he's been my buddy for some time now... Me and hims like... (I can't cross my fingers on this thing)... He lives in my wife, my kids, my parents, my true friends, and all of you who help me trudge a dudge each and every day... You're the best!

Yours in the fellowship

Jim R.

Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 00:47:32

Comments

Member: Lisa D
Location: California
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 01:45:03

Comments

Hi , My Name is Lisa and I think that I have a problem. I am married and envied by my friends, but I don't think I have controll of myself anymore and if I dont get help right now I don't think that I ever will. I don't want my husband to know or my friends I would like to win this battel on my own . I know that this is not possible. I want some help. Please help me.

Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 02:27:40

Comments

bon/alky ((lisa)) please feel free to email me at bonzoc@webtv.net - we've all been there, you dont have to do this thing alone ((brandon)) i hope you emailed ((greg)) dear hurting special people who enter here, just know that we care, and that theres always someone to talk to in your own areas, just call AA in your phone books. tell them that you want help and they will listen also. hang in there dear hearts - sorry for the double post ((techs))

Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 02:30:45

Comments

Morning friends I'm Bill, alcoholic. Lisa D, California if you have a problem with alcohol then do call the AA office near you. That's how close help is. Anger is a good topic and I still have trouble with it and have to sit down and ask why, who, what. Often times its me that I have to deal with and take what ever steps are necessary. I must be doing something right because I don't get as angry as I used to and often can channel it properly. Even after many 24's in the programme I'm still learning and that you all for sharing.

Member: Chuck E.
Location: Irvine, CA
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 02:33:49

Comments

When I live my life centered in unfulfilled expectations, I quickly become angry, fearful and resentful. On the other hand, if I am centered in acceptance, then the promises start occuring in my life. The trick is to stay centered in acceptance. The program provides actions for me to take that results in an accepting attitude. Trouble is that I'm human and don't stay in either state too long. My mind will only think of one thing at a time (I'm a multiplexer, not a multitasker. On pages 87/88 of the big book (last two paragraphs) is the answer for me.

Chuck

Member: Lisa D
Location: California
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 02:35:54

Comments

I want to tell you that I needed help and that I did not know how to go about it. I had no where else to go but here. There was no number to call and no immediate help available. . I will go on , but I think that if you wish to help others you should have something set up for those that don't know the comp. that well and just want help. It was now or never for me and now I feel like it will be never. I hope that I will not need to ask for help again, but if I do I hope that you are ready for it. I am sorry that we let each other down

Member: Lisa D.
Location: California
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 02:39:51

Comments

Thank you.

Member: John C
Location: WV
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 04:09:33

Comments

Hi all, John Acoholic, anger is a great topic. Like most anger was one feeling i felt on many occasions, and still do to a point. I believe that a person cannot live without anger it is how we deal with it. AA has given me many tools to do this with and along with a power greater than myself fear doesn't dictate my life anymore. Have a good 24.

Member: MichelleB
Location: Ohio
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 06:42:03

Comments

Hi Michelle here alcoholic I am 8 honest days sober and thank God for the fellowship of AA, I feel angry at times because of a disease that I now know I cannot control. I have been running to f2f meetings all week and they are helping me to understand, I get angry sometimes because I did not seek help sooner, But I am here now. Anyone that would email me as online support would be appreciated as I am a newcomer. Thank you MichelleB cuffs828@hotmail.com

Member: Kris H.
Location: near Houston
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 07:05:14

Comments

hi all, Kris here, trying not to be an alcoholic. Brandon, my heart goes out to you cause it sounds like we're at the same point. the only time I could ever express any anger was when drinking - and then it would come out in full force - at myself, at anyone around me, at strangers. Afraid i didn't/dont like myself very much but could never admit it.

this is week two...

Member: kathy k.
Location: rochester, n.y.
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 07:23:08

Comments

good topic. part of my anger comes from people "letting me down" (i.e therapist calling in sick numerous times) -expectations? what helps me is if i'm angry at a person i write a letter letting that person know how i feel & also pray. i may not send the letter but it helps.

Member: Sharon M
Location: Detroit,MI
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 09:51:42

Comments

For me anger is displaced self lothing I take out on others. stems from perfectionism and anger at my self for not being who I think others want me to be or think I should be .Then anger steps in I've never been good enough self pity, resentment, and anger had been the pain and fear that lead to the first drink. Forgivness of my self and others by working the steps has been the only way out of this mess of stinkin thinkin. One day at a time I'm making progress some days I even like myself. Sharon

Member: Linda
Location: Az.
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 10:52:48

Comments

Hi, Linda Alcoholic, Anger is were I'm at today, I needed everyones comments,Lisa I'm sorry you felt everyone let you down, you could have left a email address so some one could talk to you so I'd say you let youself down, I was there once and wanted to blame A.A. for my drinking and using. They didn't know how to contact me so I got drunk at them, actually I was running out of reasons to get drunk, so I got sober at them later. I've been really angery at work here lately and feel most of my co-workers hate me, I don't beleive they are but its how I feel. I'm doing alot of prayer and searching for the problem. This subject hit hard this morning and I guess I'll go back to acceptance and read my big book. Thanks everyone for sharing, and Lisa too, She reminds me of were I once was, but only by the grace of God, goes I.

Member: Linda
Location: Az.
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 10:53:36

Comments

Member: BRIAN
Location: RAPID CITY S. D.
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 12:01:48

Comments

HI BRIAN, ALCOHOLIC,Because of this spiritual way of life that I practice I found that whats in inside of me( feelings )anger,fear and hurt does not have power to kill me,it is because I do practice a spiritual way on a daily basis that I have over time found myself removed from the center of the universe and thats freedom from myself.TODAY my life is baerable wthout that drink I neither want or need it (freedom) thanx....CYA..MATHEM@WEBTV.NET.

Member: John A.
Location: wisconsin
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 13:42:20

Comments

I just found "us" on the web. Great. I've been in recovery for exactly one year today. I am a High School Counselor, and by the nature of my profession...needed to keep my denial going as long as I could before it came crashing down upon me. Over the past year, much (not all)of my anger has been redirected into gratitude, as I now am so very grateful for having had Alcoholism put in front of me. Without it I would not have looked so gratefully at the life I now have. Tonight I receive my one-year medallion at a group which I am treasurer for (The only Organization that I know which welcomes a drunk to take care of their money!!! Often I catch myself saying..."it can't get any better than this"......and then of course it does. Not that there aren' bad days....days when I am so tempted to "cash it all in", but this is a twenty-four hour program...and tomorrow morning somehow always looks brighter...and I can make it for another twenty-four hours....and again...along the way.....I catch myself saying.....it can't get any better than this........and then.........!!!! I AM SO VERY GRATEFUL FOR ALL OF US HAVING BEEN THERE FOR ME OVER THE PAST YEAR. With my increasingly deepeng relationship with my Higher Power, I am coming to an understanding that all of us...seperately...and together...are just trying to get back home. We need to help others along the way, and that we do gratefully. What we need to do, and do often...is to ask for help; the most difficult part of the journey. Take care everyone.

Member: John A.
Location: wisconsin
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 13:42:43

Comments

Member: Matt
Location: San Francisco
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 16:22:19

Comments

Hi my name is MATT, I am an ALCOHOLIC. Thanks FOR THE TOPIC BECAUSE WHEN i FIRST READ IT i DIDN'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT AND USUALLY THATS A SIGN THAT THIS IS A CHALLENGE FROM MY LOVING AND POWERFUL hp(Higher Power). Anger is as others have sited a human emotion, however when I am feeling angry I have to stop thinking which requires a psycic change. The only way to obtain that is to align myself with GOD's will in this moment. I can ask myself where does a loving and powerful God come into my anger and when I bring God and the steps into the picture I can check my motives and have my self centered thinking removed. I used to get mad at everyone because I couldn't control their response I know today that all I can control is my response. I can nolonger hate you, me, or anything and love GOD at the same time, so whats my choice to be? Usually the one involving growth and progress because I have a progressive illness so therefore I need a progressive recovery. Thanks God for this obstacle for me to practice on and my anger is now a gift from a loving spirit of the universe. Matt San Francisco, CA RULE62 254 Days of continuous sobriety

Member: Claudia M.
Location:
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 16:28:44

Comments

My name is Claudia - Alcoholic. I feel that a major part of my problem for me is the past. Feeling like my life has been one long succession of hurt, pain, as a good friend of mine tells me that I have a hole inside me and I am using alcohol to fill that hole. Anger is also a big part of my problem becasue I am angry about how my life has gone and the way it is headed and I almost feel like I dont have any control over anything. Take care everyone

Member: Deanna E.
Location: Texas
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 16:30:04

Comments

Anger..hmmm let me count the reasons. Angry at God because I blamed him for my husband's death 9at the age of 32), angry cause I couldn't drinkhim back to life, angry because he died during the best times of our marriage, angry because my kids were growing up and I don't remember it, angry because my daughter wants a certain kind of pants and I can't afford it cause what did I spend the money on? Angry because my stepchildren can't stand me. I could go on and on. Deanna E. here and yes, I am an alcoholic. Two weeks and one day sober and I have to say it's been the hardest 15 days of my life. When I got angry I got drunk plain and simple. Had a bad day, get drunk. Think about that tragic day 6 years ago, get drunk. How did it all happen? I hope I can find some insight in the BB. I pray so hard that it's not too late. Thanks for your time.

Member: John S
Location: Phoenix
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 16:46:20

Comments

I noticed that no one ever say that: "That was a crappy topic" or "I don't want to discuss Fear". Either you're all ecstatic or not being honest.

Member: Kathy F
Location: Carlisle,Ia
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 17:25:06

Comments

Hi my name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.

First, Lisa D. in Ca. if you can not find AA in your phone book or through online searches. I would suggest you call a local Hospital, church, or doctor - you should be able to get a number from any of them while not having to even say who you are. Good Luck to you.

now, about Anger... I am a lot like Mary... I keep my anger bottled up until I can't hold it in any longer. I've done this all my life because anger wasn't allowed in the house as a kid. I had no way to release my feelings. Now I find I can release them better but sometimes I take my anger out on the wrong person. When my father drives me crazy I hold it in and then tell my husband how nuts he is making me. My hubby doesn't like to hear it, mainly because he thinks I should just tell my father to shut up and leave me alone.

Good thing this is about progress and not perfection!!!

Member: me
Location:
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 17:28:08

Comments

Lisa try this site. You can find lots of address' through this for AA

http://www.aa.org/

Member: joyce
Location: utah
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 18:31:09

Comments

joyce,alcoholic lisa, i'm so sorry you're lost but you've been given lots of places to go for help here, i hope you take them. or e-mail me at trudgin@moreisbetter.com. and nope, we all aren't ecstatic or dishonest we have just had to look some stuff in the face to stay sober. i think one of my biggest personal discoverys is that if i am reacting i am insane, weither that reaction is anger, fear, hormones, whatever, if i am reacting to my world i'm insane. all of my drinking was in reaction to something, i drank because________. if i am acting instead of reacting i'm sane. it's really that simple for me today. good stuff today, hugs

Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 18:46:31

Comments

Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere.

Anger is exactly what wells my eyes with tears. I get so angry that I stay stuck at times and cannot grow past my fears, even working steps, I just stay stuck and don't know why. I pray for relief, yet no relief comes for long. I do find that when I read in the Big Book or talk with another fellow AA, I get the promise of "this too shall pass." I have posted this prior to reading anyone else's, because I did not want to post from the vantage of having others' ideas of anger clouding my own reverberations at the present time. I am angry, dammit! I really am. I'm angry at the CP right now and at times just want not to come here, but I've been to other sites and they are just not as active. Chat rooms run too fast & weird for me, so those have long since gone by the wayside. My f2f mtgs are inaccessible at times due to my health & the weather. But by golly, when I get to Florida in April, the weather sure won't stop me, meetings will be closer in mileage, so my health won't be so much at issue by then. So, in posting this, I'm getting a little relief from my anger and hope to one day post more ES&H the way I could have back when I was sober before btwen 86 & 92 - but today is only day 50 for me and I am just glad God has graced me with teachability for today and has also helped me stay sober today. Not so angry right now anymore. Now I'll go back and catch up with all the previous posts. Thanks for letting me share and for the topic. I'm so glad I ain't and don't want to profess to be ... perfect!

Member: Dave T
Location: Northern CA
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 19:01:30

Comments

Hello My name is Dave and I am an alcoholic Lisa D please call AA or talk to someone at your church or email me at thorpe@mcn.org I to iam california maybe were we can talk. Let someone HELP you GOD, AA, or me LOVE

Member: JOE M.
Location: BALLSTON LK, NY
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 19:26:21

Comments

NEW COMER, "KEEPING IT REAL GREEN!" GLAD I LOGGED ON.

Member: Joe D.
Location:
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 19:28:54

Comments

One thing that has helped me when I'm really angry at someone (when I can calm down enough to remember) is to think of that person as a newcomer to AA. If I see him or her in that way, it's easier to let go of the fury! JoeD (Phoenix, AZ)

Member: Turtle
Location: Paso
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 20:16:46

Comments

Turtle, Alcoholic

A little girl who lives down the way just rang my door bell and said sweetly to me. Is your house for rent or sale? Now the old me might have gotten really hurt or angry wondering why she would ask such a question. Not trying to figure out other peoples motives is something I pray about and have worked the steps and shared with my sponsor over. In meetings they tell me anger is something we can't afford, that the grouch and the brainstorm are for maybe normal people but not alcoholics like me (that's in the Big Book, too.) Live and Let Live.

Member: Linda M
Location: The West
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 21:46:08

Comments

My HP is in overdrive this week as anger was the topic at my f2f yesterday and it could not have been more timely. Like everyone, I "hate" to get angry. (It makes me angry! It is such a puzzling experience and such a quick one for me to get angry. But I find that I am much more prone to exhibiting anger if I'm tired, hungry, etc., - the usual HALT items - or off balance in some other fashion. Something that I have learned in sobriety is to pay closer attention to how I take care of myself with regard to rest and nutrition. Something I have also learned about is nurture. None of these tools will prevent the circumstances that cause anger but they are helpful to be mindful of to assuage maybe the energy of anger. When I was drinking and angry, drinking all hours of the night and having not so redeeming thoughts of my "transgressors" was my way of "dealing" with something. As I have told some friends - I wish the grammar school I attended had a skill session on the 12 steps instead of the 10 commandments.

Member: richard m
Location: sarasota, fla
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 22:20:29

Comments

hello my name is richard i am an alcoholic....simply put i and we can not afford anger..page 449. balance with the serenety prayer etc..!!!!!!lots of love to all!!!!!!LISA, E MAIL ME rjpmoody@webtv.net

Member: Garbo
Location: Iowa
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 22:48:31

Comments

Anger is an "ATTITUDE" The longer I live, the more I realize the impact of attitude on life. Attitude,to me ,is more important than the past,than education,than money,than circumstances,than failures,than success,than what other people think or say or do. It is more important than appearance,giftedness or skill. It will make or brake a company,achurch,a home. The remarkablething is we have a "CHOICE" everyday regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day.We cannot change our past.... we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is is play on our attitude... I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it. And so it is with you......

Anger backwards (Real energy going nowhere again)

Member: Bridget R.
Location: Beverly, MA
Date: 22 Feb 1999
Time: 22:52:01

Comments

hi, my name is Bridget and I'm an alcoholic. I agree somewhat with John about resentments. I had a horrible experience early in my childhook and it wasn't something that could just be 4th and 5th stepped away.

Luckily I found a sponser who knew enough to send me to counseling since, aside from helping me stay sober one day at a time, she really wasn't qualified to work out my fear and anger with me. I did 7 years of yelling, beating up my bed, crying so hard that I was afraid I'd never stop, staying up all night, etc.

Today, I'm 9 1/2 years sober with two toddlers. I've learned to use the energy that anger gives me and channel it into housework, chasing after the kids, etc.

An old friend told me that where anger is concerned, I'd best pull up a chair, make it a cup of tea and become friends with it because it's not going anywhere and the sooner I learn how to use it to my advantage, the better off I'll be.

Member: Jessica O
Location: Boston, MA
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 01:05:54

Comments

Hi. My name is Jessica and I am both a drug user and an alcoholic. I do not really know how it all started. First it was just going one evening to the bars or out with friends to drink for fun. However, for the last 9 months it has been more of a "life line" for me. I wake up in the morning and want a drink. I hide my alcohol and drugs from friends and family, the people who I really care about. Why? Well I really have not figured that out yet. I am a new to all of this and I figured I would try this before going to the meetings. One step and one day at a time. For me this is big becasue I have never faced the issues in my life. So.. please be patient. Anger. Wow! Where do I begin. To start, I am angry at my step dad, and my mom. I am angry that a lot of the poeople that I love are being taken from me some of which can be attributed to drugs and alcohol. I am angry that I drink. I am angry that I do drugs. I know that there is nobody except for myself that I have to blame. I realize that. But, it is so hard. What kind of person have I become? Where is my life headed. I am expecially angry with myself. How did I let myself be consumed by drugs and alcohol? Why do I turn to them when I get upset. Lately its not even big things that make me drink. It might be something so trivial that most people wouldn't even be phased by it. But me, of course. Enough feeling sorry for myself. I need help and right now this is all I am able to do. If anyone has any advise to someone just getting started in this process, please let me know!! Thanks to all for listening Jessica

Member: Steve M.
Location: Jacksonville, Fl
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 01:08:24

Comments

My name is Steve and I am an alcoholic. Anger is something that every alcoholic has to deal with at one time or another. I do not subscribe to the fact that anger is "bad" as it is a god given feeling. It's what we do with the anger that can heavily influence our lives, misuse of anger as suggested in the 12 and 12 has led us to many a resentment, thus leading us further down the wrong path. My higher power displayed anger in a temple full of thieves, then he let it go. I believe this is where we as alcoholics err, I for one have had trouble "letting it go". I have in the past loved to live in the havoc involved with anger, contemplating retaliation, brewing in resentments and swearing revenge. Definately not a good environment for those like us. By god's grace and a lot on one on one conversations with those I feel display quality sobriety, I have learned to identify the traits of my anger, the emotions and the attitudes I display. My periods of anger are further apart and for shorter periods of time. Hence, my serenty level is hightened. Have a blessed day of sobriety.

Member: Gregory M
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 02:13:45

Comments

Today anger is such a small part of my life. I choose to drive in the slow easy lane of life. I let the people zig-zag pass me, and see them at next red light. The living example is a barometer of my daily serenity. If I get to driving fast, or swearing at another moterist, I know that it is anger and have to look at it. Mostly acceptance is the key to the realease of my EGO which feeds the flames of anger, so today I give it willingly over to god, live and let live, by the grace of god I am where I am suppose to be at the moment. It's my choice of my actions which dictate who I am today. I don't know about anyone else, but anger breeds resentment, which will lead me back to drink. God willing, sober for an another 24 hours, and I pray for another 24 hours who trudge by on the cyberspace of happy destiny. God Bless.

Member: Jessica O
Location: Boston, MA
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 04:36:38

Comments

My name is Jessica -Alcoholic/drug user.. A big hug and thank you to the women who helped me tonight. Will stay in touch. You all will probably never know how much you helped me Thnals Again! Jessica

Member: Deanna E.
Location: Texas
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 09:44:33

Comments

Deanna E. here, alcholic. Jessica O. hope you got some pointers. I too am new here and right now this is all I can do because of my schedule. Alot of people here have helped me and I'm certainly not anywhere close to the end, but I think I am off to a good start. Hang in there hon.

Member: William R
Location: San Antonio
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 11:57:47

Comments

Hi to all! This is my first time here; I found the room accidently while at the aa.org site. I have been sober since July 10th, which means I am working on my 8th month. So many good things have happened to me and realizing when to be constructively angry, thus avoiding being destructively angry has been a big part of the recovery process. I used to feel so weak and ineffective inside, although outside I presented a failly in control, confident front. I drank all the time and didn't usually getr angry, but when I did it was awful. I would relive the hurts of the past, seldom taking time to ask myself how I could have affected the outcome for the better. I began to chair the Monday night meetings at my group this month, and the topic I chose was fellowship, something that had benn only touched on before in any meeting I attended. It was wonderful to hear how everyone there has delt with that comraderie in their own ways, some warming up to it slowly and some embracing it quickly and fully and everything in between. I was blessed to meet an old best friend from 8th grade the first night that I went, and we picked up our friendship from where we had left off almost 30 years ago, if you can believe that. I leaned on him a lot at first, but have since developed several friendships that are in varying stages of closeness. a couple of weeks after that first night, I met another guy who was my younger brother's friend in high school, and that has been a great thing for me. But, Brandon JF, Lisa D, Greg H, Kris H, Jessica O, and any other newcomers who are taking the first steps of reading our comments but not writing anything, you can do this. And you can succeed with help and fellowship and meditation and learning a whole new way to view and accept yourself and the world around us. I am still the basic person that I was a year ago, but my coping skills and my outlook are light years ahead of where I ever thought they would be. Do not look at things as hopeless, nor expect quick fixes. You will face many tests and have plenty of anxious moments and maybe anxious days. I am proof, as are so many of the people whose kind sharing I've read here, are proof that our lives can be turned around and we can live very happily without drinking, without using and without dumping on ourselves or anybody else. Please keep coming back here, and please find some f2f meetings and please always let any recovering alcoholic hear your real thoughts and feelings.

Member: rose
Location: georgia
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 12:32:36

Comments

hi im jk and im an alcolholic. jessica, i am new about a month to the program. i also felt the way you do and still feel the way you do about a lot of things like where my life is taking me. it is so much easier to manage my life since i have stopped drinking. i have slipped 3 times drinking 5, 6, or 7 beers on a saturday night, etc. since i started aa and somehow drinking just doesn't taste the same. it wasnt fun. it was just the routine and habit i why i did it. stick with this sight. call aa. go to a meeting farther away from your house if you are worried about being seen. i did, and it moved me so much i drove over to a mtg near my house. it gets easier and gives you new hope for yourself. independence. with Gods help of course. you will be so proud of yourself for going. others help and you do not have to say anything. aa has changed my life, given me a relationship with God and womenkind that i had been searching for. we are not bad people, we are sick people just trying to stay well. LOL rose

Member: Michelle V.
Location: Chicago
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 13:38:18

Comments

Hi, Michelle, an alcoholic. For me, anger can be a very positive thing. Sometimes, it's the energy from my anger that spurs me into taking action. Most of the time, though, I get angry when, as somebody already said, i feel hurt or threatened. I don't explode all over the place, but since I've been in the program I am aware that I have to release it in some way. For me, writing it out gets it out of me and sometimes by putting it on paper I can see how unimportant the issue really might be and I can even see where I "asked for it." Anyway, thanks for letting me share.

Member: Dan R
Location: Duluth, MN
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 13:49:37

Comments

Dan, Alcoholic

Thanks to everybody for all the info on the topic of anger. At 10 mos sober I am extremely gratful that I found this site. With my schedule I am find ing it difficult to get to as many meetings as I would like. I will definitely be visiting again. Thanks again.

Member: KERRY F.
Location: DELAWARE
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 14:08:23

Comments

KERRY F. ALCOHOLIC,WHEN I TURNED MY WILL AND LIFE OVER TO THE CARE OF GOD,AS I SEE HIM.ALL DESIRE FOR ANGER AND OTHER NEGITIVE DESIRES WERE TAKEN FROM ME.I CAN ONLY VEIW THIS AS ANOTHER MIRICLE AS I POSSESSED ONE NASTY IRISH TEMPER.IT ALWAYS TOOK ALOT TO SET IT OFF.BUT WHEN I REACHED THAT POINT ALL HELL WOULD BREAK LOOSE.LIFE IS SO MUCH SIMPLER THESE DAYS

Member: Rudy F.
Location: Spring Hill, Fl.
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 15:46:50

Comments

The only thing that can make me angry is I did't get my way. Through working and living the 12 step program of AA have been able to achieve growth emotionally to stop reacting like a King Baby. It is hard to start growing up when you are 53, but the alternative could put me back into the bottle. A well balance human being does not expect everything in their life to be their way. This is called rational thinking, an as a recovering alcoholic had to emotionally learn how to rationally think through situations and THEN "This to shall Pass", "Easy Does It", "How important is it?", etc.. went from my head to my gut and things that use to upset me became very managable.

Member: Sheryl
Location: Ga
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 16:09:52

Comments

Sheryl, alcoholic.

Thanks for the topic of anger. I have 2 weeks today, and have been dealing with a lot anger the past few days. Maybe that is what they mean when they say we quit drinking and start to get our feelings back.I dont know. I do know, that I seem to have a very short fuse these days, and it can get set off over anything and nothing. I have been doing a lot of talking with my temp sponsor in order to try and not react to it as I have done in the past, and that was to just stuff it until I couldnt anymore and it just errupted, usually at the wrong time on people that had done nothing at all. I admit I have not always been very successful in changing that behavior the these past couple of weeks..but I continue to try. Read the part in the BB last night about the prayer it gives for anger "God save me from being angry". For me, when I am in it, I cant think clearly enough to remember to do that. That is why I need people like me to bounce things off of so that I can get calm enough to rememember to ask for some help with it. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: Skip
Location: So. California
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 17:30:22

Comments

Member: Geri W
Location: Virginia
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 18:12:24

Comments

Hello family. Geri, a very gratefu alcoholic here. Jessica, hang on. Deanna, you seem on your way. Now to the topic. Anger was not part of my drinking - it was past anger, it was RAGE. Striking out whenever I felt threathened by anyone. Totally out of proportion to the situation. HAD to be right and Everyone HAD to know it. Thank God (that's my HP), I don't have to live like that anyone. The more 24's I have, the fewer "big deals" there are to get angry about. It's not really important if I get my way (look where that got me) today. My anger(rage) was(is) fueled by fear - my job is to figure out what I'm afraid of, so I try and and fear/anger no longer owns me. Once I name it and claim it, it loses its power to control my behavior. Amazing!! I'm even able to pray about it, ask for willingness to deal with whatever and take the next step to learn whatever lesson I have before me. Since I'm not the center of the universe anymore and am not responsible for running the world, I don't get angry very often. Thank Bill W. and the first 100 for sharing the way with us all. Hugs.

Member: Bonnie E.
Location: Centralia, US
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 18:18:47

Comments

Anger I feel is conected to a multitude of feelings but what has been helping me deal with it is learning to get in touch with loving myself again as we are all born loved and loveable. The one thing I feel like we all desire is the peace that comes with the spirit we were all born with. I miss being in Touch with my higher power and the closer I stay the easier it is to deal with all the anger issues. Most times when I feel angry it is because I hurt, thats when I try be still breath and listen. Meditation has been good for me as I can let those feelings go. I hang on to the faith and promises. Truth hurts most times but it does set you free and when we look around the world today and try to cope with all the everyday struggles that come our way always remember we never walk alone. Keep the Faith and easy does it. bon@localaccess.com

Member: Lisa R
Location: Lewiston, Maine
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 18:37:28

Comments

Lisa alcoholic, i also like the subject of anger I have a few 24 hours under my belt. I still have days where i still feel anger about being an alcoholic. but for me i have to take a look at the situation around me, and see if it isn't some person place or thing around me. more than likley it is me being uncomfortable with something I have no control over.

Member: Lisa R
Location: Lewiston, Maine
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 18:37:48

Comments

Member: Lisa R
Location: Lewiston, Maine
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 18:38:08

Comments

Member: Kenneth S.
Location: Woodstock Ga.
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 21:16:41

Comments

HI,my name is Ken and I'm an alcoholic.This is my first online meeting,and the first of many I hope.Wont say much only anger!in my opinion should be dealt with the same way as alcholism, open discussion and A (H/P).

Member: Mike
Location: Seattle
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 21:40:51

Comments

Mike, Alcoholic. Hmm, anger. As someone pointed out above, it is no longer a viable option for me and others who read this page. It is a luxury reserved for those more able than us to handle. I am reminded of all the "good" (not) that my anger accomplished. An angry drunk, now there's an image of destruction. I believe that most of my damage was done in that irritable hangover period.

We know that anger turned inward becomes depression. That's not very useful to me or others either. Anger nursed and entertained became deep resentment, blaming, and more irritability. Again not very helpful for relationships or work situations, either past, present, or future..

How about an armed, angry drunk? Right. This guy winds up in jail. Righteously so.

Anger is not like fear. I can embrace my fears, letting them wash over me and through me. Fears faced and embraced become strengths. Why would I, or anyone, wish to embrace hot anger. "Living with it" sounds hurtfull to me.

May God help us alcoholics avoid the temptation of anger and the next drink just one more day. Amen.

Member: Chuck K.
Location: Texas
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 21:47:54

Comments

Hi, everybody. I'm Chuck, and I'm an alcoholic, sober today only because God does for me what I could never do for myself.

I agree with much of what I've read. After being sober a few years, I sure have had a variety of experiences with anger cropping up. Who doesn't? After all, we'd hardly be human if we didn't feel anger. But I also know danger lies deeply-rooted within the grouch and the brainstorm. Just let me feel "justified" in my anger and listen to my ego say "let 'er rip, boy, you can handle it." Then watch me slip away from the principles and back into my stuff (more appropriately spelled with a "sh" at the beginning).

Yet there are some insights that help me today. "Justified" as a word is akin to "justice." I am forever grateful that my God Showed me Mercy instead of that "j" word. And if I think in those terms, He Sets an extemely challenging example for me in my relationships with all of my siblings (every other human being).

I also know that my serenity is proportional to my ability to forgive as I wish to be forgiven, just as ya'll taught me to pray for as we held hands and closed meetings.

God Bless all here. Have a happy and sober day, my friends.

Member: Rodney F.
Location: Illinois
Date: 23 Feb 1999
Time: 23:08:06

Comments

Hi, I'm Rodney, and I'm an alcoholic. I've been attending meetings for about a week now and am in my eighth day of sobriety. I don't understand much about the program, but I see the results in the people who have stuck with it. I'm wrestling with the concepts of powerlessness and unmanageability in the first step. That's as far as I am. As far as anger goes, my mind is clearing, and I'm recognizing my anger when it occurs. Anger is normal, I think, but I have to learn how to deal with it like a "normal" person, instead of letting it build into ball-busting rage. I must learn to be more assertive along the path, instead of bottling my anger and fermenting it into aggresstion. This site is great, as I couldn't make a meeting tonight. Peace.

Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 01:26:09

Comments

tony,alcoholic..anger is an emotion,it is how we use it that determines whether its healthy(NORMAL)or destructive....some healthy things would be,it could be a source of strength and energy or it could increase our determination to help us meet our goals it could also be a signal that thier is a threat ahead.used in that manner is a positive emotion.but,negative anger?not so good,like,if it accures to frequently or lasts to long or when it disrupts work or a relationships,or if you hurt others or yourself.sometimes it used to cover up your true feelings,like hurt.i don"t know about you but i like the healthy kind of anger...if any at all.sometimes i don"t think its positive or negative,learning about it is a good way to deal with it. this to shall pass. Gods will not mine!! tony

Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 01:32:45

Comments

tony,alcoholic...one more thing,i"m sober one year yesterday,grace of God,aa,people like you....Hip,Hip Horayy ok know back to the real world.

Member: Bill S.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 02:18:29

Comments

Hi everyone, Bill, alcoholic. Anger is a great subject, but I have to say that today I am very grateful and not angry at all. You see today I am "off paper", and for that I am sooo grateful! I guess I could be angry that I have this horrible disease of alcoholism, but it has allowed me the opportunity to get to know so many wonderful people in the program and for that I am truly greatful. I don't want to sound like a pollyanna here, I'm just trying to say that the program has given so many gifts/promises. It's taught me to substitute gratitude in place of my all-consuming anger that I lived with day in and day out for over twenty years! In rehab they taught us that anger is the feeling of being treated unfairly. And there are still times that I am treated unfairly and I do start to get angry. Today though,through the grace of God I've learned to look beyond my little ego, and the hurt I feel, to the consequences of feeding that anger and nurturing it into a rip-dinger of a resentment. A resentment that will eventually ruin any serenity and peace of mind I might have and lead me to taking that first drink. And we all know the downward spiral from there! You see, today, if I want to stay sober and have the promises, I just simply can't afford anger. The cost is too high! So I choose forgiveness and gratitude instead. It's been a great bargain. I'm in the black and not seeing red too much anymore. Thank you God, thank you AA. God bless.

Member: Raymond M
Location: Duluth,MN
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 09:42:19

Comments

Hi- I'm Raymond recovering addict and alcoholic. Thank you for the topic. Anger and resentment are the main reasons why I drank. Now being sober 7 months, I am learning how to cope with anger. Some times I still act out but try to make amends when ever possible. God has been a very important part of my program. For me, it is easy to take my anger out on other people. I hate when I'm like that. but thanks to my sponsor and my HP I'm learning how to now be so reactive. Also pg 449 has helped me accept where I am in life. God bless the program!!

Member: Raymond M
Location: Duluth,MN
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 09:42:56

Comments

Member: teri b.
Location: texas
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 12:07:16

Comments

hello my name is teri i am an alcoholic/addict. the topic is a perfect one for me today. the reason i even looked for this web sight is because i was so angry today. i have been clean and sober for over three years but i have not been going to meetings or working any kind of a program. i have the big book and i know lots of people that i could call and talk to but i been making excuses instead, too busy, not the right time ect... i have never felt better in my life than when i was going to meetings and working the program and i want to get back to it. the fact that the topic is anger on the day that i come to this sight for the first time is just one more sign that my higher power is always there to help me if just ask. thank all of you for your comments it has reminded me of why i enjoyed the meeting so much. it enables me to be with people that understand and know what to do. to those of you that are just starting let me tell you the promises are true all you have to do is take the step.thanks teri

Member: Destine' W.
Location: Houston
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 12:20:44

Comments

hi, my name is Destine' & i'm an alcoholic. Anger works for me! I'm at home now because I'm angry. I so angry that I'm sick mentally, physically & spiritually. Things haven't been going my way at work and I haven't been able to accept it. Now, i'm faced with the delimma of being fired or forced to resign. What options! I realize that i should have sought other work long ago but I believed things would get better. Well they didn't.

They've beat me down, my self-esteem is zero and I find it hard to talk to others. I i could have held my tongue. God help me to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Anger does turn into resentment & that's my number 1 offender! The brick wall gets harder each time.

Member: Ed T.
Location: Norwood,N.Y.
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 13:42:21

Comments

Hi ! My name is Ed T. and I"m an Alcoholic. It"s really nice to be hear and Sober. On the topic of Anger, Do to my upbringing,I associate anger with rage. So I attempt to keep myself from getting angry by asking myself "Why am I angry and what part do I play in the situation that"s making me angry. Usually it"s because there"s some thing happening or happened to me in the past that just disturbs me about the situation or person that I have no control over. Also I"ve found that there is another feeling underneath that"s coming out as anger. For ex. FEAR.,hurt,disappointment,expectations,etc. Once I talk about it and find out what that underlying feeling is,I can better deal with what"s really going on.

Member: Laurie C.
Location: Meriden, CT
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 14:37:10

Comments

Hi this is Laurie an alcoholic. Anger...yeah good topic, anger? Angry while drinking, not very often, anger afterwards - HELL YES. Angry at myself for being a dumbass and drinking yet again, angry that I've become an alcoholic and let this damn disease destroy me willingly, angry that I can't even have one lousy beer on a day I could really go for one because I know damn well from one it'll lead to 6 or 7 and Lord only knows how many shots of crown. Anger... yeah I'm angry but right now I'm angry if I don't stay with hating this disease and will be REALLY angry if I let my guard down and forget the pain and all the rest of the shit thats gone down with myself because of my drinking......focus your anger on THAT not on others.....anger can be a great motivator, when put on the right object. Right now I'm angry, actually SUPER pissed at alcohol......I hate it. Hate what its done to people, how many its killed, how many its destroyed. NO drink in the world is worth this hell. Day 9 today for me and I hope I'm still this angry day 10 and day 30 for that matter! Pray for me and I'll pray for you....I'm petrified by this and pray to God to help me through the rest of this day. Let me wake up tomorrow still sober.... yeah "Anger". It IS a good thing sometimes. least I think so.

Thanks.

Member: Liz B
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 14:46:23

Comments

Hi everyone. I'm Liz and I'm an alcoholic. That looks so final in writing. I am working on my second 24-hour period of sobriety right now. I am new to the program this time around...I've been here before (but that was a long time ago). As I reflect back to when I first started drinking again, I can see now that it was a combination of arrogance and defiant anger so I guess I'm in the right place with this topic. I woke up yesterday morning with the intention (for the millionth time) that that would be the day I finally stopped. I don't know where it came from but something told me that there must be some of you (us) out there on the Web someplace. And, here you are.

I'm in need of some help here. Can someone tell me how you get from anger so great that it threatens to consume you -- rage at its most primal place -- to where a lot of you are today? I just can't imagine praying over something like this and having it go away. Most of this anger/rage is not even about anything that has happened in the last decade (I've been able to drink away most of those memories/emotions). How do I get rid of this? It is so consuming sometimes. When I have tried to quit drinking in the past it has almost always been okay for the first few days. With day four's arrival comes an explosion of hatred, resentment, anger...every negative emotion. I believe I could be capable of any number of horrible crimes. Tagging along at the end of all of this activity is the most dreaded of all the feelings - shame. This is so heavy. I need to unload it. Not only am I mentally and emotionally exhausted from lying and sneaking and trying to remember while drinking, but I am exhausted when I think about dealing with the inevitable anger just around the corner. To me this almost feels like one of those 'the cure is worse than the disease' situations.

I've been to meetings before (a long time ago), but I would never have been this honest with anyone in person. The need to seem normal and be liked is very strong. I would appreciate any advice or help from anyone as this faceless medium seems to work well for me and makes me more comfortable.

Thank you for listening.

Member: Laurie C
Location: Meriden, CT
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 15:07:40

Comments

Hi Liz, this is Laurie, alcolic on this my serious attempt for sobriety, day 9. Hell I'm not the best for advice but from one alcoholic to another, trust me, the answer ain't ganna come from a damn bottle!. If you really feel like you're losing it, call the crisis hotline and just let it rip, you'd be surprised how good you may feel afterwards. Go to a meeting if you can or just go into a church and beg God to help you even if you don't think He will, its all we have.,,.Be angry at alcohol NOT yourself......right now I'm still super PISSED at it....I'm sick of it screwing up my so called life!. Don't give in or give up okay.

Member: Luis S.
Location: Mexico City
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 15:59:14

Comments

Hi my name is Luis and I�m an alcoholic. Larry�s comments regarding the relations of anger with fear, guilt and denail are very useful for my every day life. Through the inner look of my personality I'm dealing with my fear with conflict. I can make unbelievable things to avoid a simple confrontation of viewpoints.

It is very possible that the reason is that I'm extremely afraid of getting angry. Why? Maybe is the fear of losing control. Anger doesn�t means going mad necessarily. Personal represion of my basic emotions and instincts plays a great deal in what I've made with myself.

Member: Lisa C
Location: New York
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 16:44:28

Comments

I'm Lisa and I'm an alcoholic. I posted a message earler in the week, so I'll just make my amend and leave! On my first message, I noted by location as "Manhattan," not New York or New York City because I was being snooty and show-offy, as if everyone would envy me for living in Manhattan. I apologize for the stinking attitude. That fact that some New Yorkers (this New Yorker) think that everyone envies them for living here is a character defect for another day. Today, I apologize for being phoney.

Member: Larry M.
Location: Virginia Beach
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 18:11:51

Comments

LIZ B: I experienced the overwhelming rage, resentment, anger, self-pity, etc. that you spoke of 5 years into "sobriety" (actually I was on a lengthy dry drunk), when my life suddenly was beginning to quickly unravel. I too was consumed with violent thoughts and knew someone, perhaps me, was going to get hurt soon if I didn't deal with my emotions. I got serious about working the AA program: went to lots of meetings, got a sponsor, worked the steps, picked up a service commitment, carried the message. Steps 4 and 5 were vital to letting go of all the resentments, guilt, and shame. It'll work for you too if you put in the work.

(Sorry for the double-dip.)

Member: Bruce A.
Location: Bovard,{Pa
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 19:22:07

Comments

Hi Family , My name is Bruce A. and I am an Alcoholic. Thank you all for your comments and thanks Therese for the topic. I agree thar anger is a human trait. But we can,t let anger and resentment get the best of us. I have learned to practice the 3 R,s.Retreat,Rethink,and Respond. I try not to react the way I use to. I try to to turn my anger to my H.P. Don,t let those resentment fester in my mind. Love you all

Member: Geri W
Location: Virginia
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 19:35:47

Comments

Geri here. Sorry for the double post. Liz, I've been there it really hurts. Follow Laurie and Larry's suggestion. Find a temporary sponsor at the first AA meeting you can get to. She;ll help you live with this disease. If I can help, post your EMail address and I'll get back to you. Hang in there - we need you. Hugs. HOORAY for Tony - a year.

Member: Tijana C
Location: Kelowna, Canada
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 19:42:57

Comments

Hi my name is Tijana and I'm an alcoholic/ addict. I am very new to the program, 4 long months clean and sober. I have been angry for a good part of my life and continue to be but really trying to catch myself before I let myself 'rage'. It was always everybody else's fault, never mine because I was perfect and regularly went out of my way for everyone else. Although I still continue to go out of my way for IMPORTANT people in my life, I do it freely and without any expectations. Yes, it does test me some days because doing things for everyone else all of the time sometimes takes it's toll but in general it feels good to help someone that really is going through a bad time in their life and needs it. Lately though, I have been very up and down. Allowing myself to be worried and take on too many things in my life and thus, get angry easily because no one understands where I am coming from with it but I have changed quite a bit. The other day, I had a situation that I would usually rage about and then hold onto for days and days after. I did initially get angry, or should I say irate and then I allowed myself to laugh about it because I looked really stupid ranting and raving in my front yard. There was nothing that I could do about it and I couldn't even change the past, imagine that! So, I laughed about it instead and not only did it feel good but it was so funny that I had to share it with my best-friend. Now, if I could only learn to do that most of the time then I would be a much happier person and eventually it would leave me. If there is anyone out there that would like to e-mail me, they can reach me at tgirl99@hotmail.com. I would appreciate any imput that would help me out, I'm still fairly reserved and haven't shared when I go to meetings. Not because I don't have the need to share but I'm just very, very nervous.

I wish everyone another 24 and I'll take one too, Tijana

Member: Tijana C
Location: Kelowna, Canada
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 19:43:39

Comments

I wish everyone another 24 and I'll take one too, Tijana

Member: Sean N
Location:
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 21:17:28

Comments

Member: Ron L.
Location: Aurora, MN
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 21:51:27

Comments

Hi, My name is Ron and I'm an Alcoholic. I am a newcomer to the web and I came upon this site! I love it! Therese I just want to say that is a very good topic, exspecialy if you are new comer. I have been an active member of A.A. for many moons, and as I was reading through the comments I was going to put it to you almost the very way that Kim M. put it. Aug. 28th, 1996 was a very hard time for me as my oldest son was taken from us in a train accident, he was 16.(god rest his soul) We still do not know if it was murder or accident. I relied on my H.P. and my home group quite heavily and I also say the Serenity Prayer as often as needed. I have gone to meetings in several states and the thing I like to use to this day is something I heard at a meeting in Wisconson- The elevater is broken- please use the steps! I'd like to congradulate everybody on their sobriety and esecialy the newcomers, it's the newcomers that KEEP me sober, as they remind me as to where I came from. I don't hate being an alcoholic anymore, it is a blessing in disguise. I found myself when I was lost. I come into this wonderful program at the ripe old age of 18. I am now 42 and have two birthday's coming soon. I would rather be in A.A. wondering if I'm an alcohlic than out there drinking knowing that I am. Just remember... Let Go And Let God! Thank you all. (I'll be back sooner next time.)

Member: Lisa M.
Location: Canton, Ohio
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 22:02:39

Comments

Anger is a great topic as other people have pointed out, my anger is what drives me to that alcoholic thinking and a desire to pick up a drink. Today I can handle my anger, or my higher power can. One woman that I am close to in my home group meeting here in Canton suggested I take out my anger on a grick wall. She suggested taking ice cubes and throwing them against a brick wall. Not only is it very releasing, it makes a powerful noise and you don't have to clean anything up. It has been a good release for me.

After almost four years of sobriety, I now have other tools I can use to deal with my anger. Prayer, meetings, talking to friends and just plain not stuffing my feelings helps. thanks i'll pass.

Member: Dave G
Location: AZ
Date: 24 Feb 1999
Time: 22:10:01

Comments

My name is Dave...I am a greatful recovering alcoholic. My gratitude comes from having been given another chance to "get it right". This "second chance" was given to me through the program of alcoholics anonymous. I received a couple of 24 hr. chips plus a couple of 30 day chips before I realized I had to get a sponsor to show me "how it works". This sponsor led me through the steps for the first time and it was at step four that I began getting in touch with the reasons for the blackout rages I had experienced all my life. The fourth step put me in touch with the source of the anger I had felt all my life. Anger which kept me seperated not only from people but from myself as well. I haven't been in rage for years now, and my anger seems more under control. I have found that anger always follows pain. Anger (healthy anger) provides the energy for me to make changes within. My anger now seems confined to the disease of alcoholism. To arrive at this point I had to first learn to keep the plug in the jug. I learned to not drink even if my ass fell off...and if it did i learned to pick it up and TAKE IT TO A MEETING! I can't stay sober by myself. I need everyone in AA. Thanks for this opportunity to share. I love all you drunks. Keep coming back! viking37@yahoo.com

Member: KERRY F.
Location: DELAWARE
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 01:26:10

Comments

HELLO I'M KERRY AND I'M AN ANGRY ALCOHOLIC TONIGHT.I PRIDE MYSELF IN ALWAYS KEEPING A LEVEL HEAD THESE DAY'S.AND I CREDIT MY HIGHER POWER AND THE 12 STEPS OF AA WITH THIS NEW FOUND GIFT.I ALWAYS HAD A MEAN IRISH TEMPER BUT THAT ALL BUT WENT AWAY AFTER I GOT INTO RECOVERY.TONIGHT IS ONLY THE SECOND TIME IN A YEAR THAT I'VE ALLOWED MYSELF TO GET STRESSED TO THE POINT OF WANTING TO TAKE A DRINK.THE FIRST TIME I DID AS I WAS TAUGHT AND CALLED MY SPONSOR.TOGETHER WE TALKED OUR WAY THROUGH THAT DRINK.AND NO HARM WAS DONE.TONIGHT I'LL NOT BOTHER HIM AS IT'S LATE AND I HAVE NOTHING TO DRINK HERE.I AM SAFE FOR ONE MORE DAY.WHAT I'M TRYING TO GET AT IS THAT I COULD REMEMBER A TIME WHEN I WOULD SHARE IN MEETINGS THAT THE DESIRE TO DRINK HAD BEEN COMPLETELY REMOVED AFTER SAY...ONE MONTH OF SOBRIETY.BULL SHIT!!! ALTHOUGH I KNOW THAT I CAN NORMALLY CONTROL ANGER VERY WELL,THERE ARE THOSE TIMES WHEN I AM HUMAN AND I LET THIS VERY RISKY EMOTION GET THE BEST OF ME.THE JOB AND OTHER IMPORTANT ISSUES COUPLED WITH SOME PEOPLE WHO HAVE COMPLETLY OVER STEPPED THE NEED TO KNOW RIGHT,ALL BUT BROUGHT BACK THAT DESIRE TO DRINK THIS EVENING.AND I'M GLAD THAT I HAD THIS WEB SITE TONIGHT TO VENT THE WAY I WAS FEELING.I DO FEEL MORE IN CONTROL NOW.THERE WILL BE THOSE WHO WILL SAY THAT I SHOULD HAVE CALLED MY SPONSOR BUT IT WAS LATE AND I HAD NO WAY TO GET A DRINK IF I WANTED TOO.I'LL JUST MENTION IT TOMMORROW.BUT TO MAKE A LONG STORY SHORT,I DON'T THINK I'LL BE MAKING ANY CLAIMS ABOUT NOT HAVING THE DESIRE TO DRINK AGAIN.THIS ILLNESS,WHICH I HAVE THE UPMOST RESPECT FOR,HAS SHOWN ME THAT ALTHOUGH IT MAY APPEAR AS IF I'VE GONE THROUGH SOME MIRICLE CURE.IT WILL PLAY ON YOUR EMOTIONS AND AT A WEAK MOMENT WILL COME OUT TO GRAB YOU.IT IS MOST CUNNING BAFFLING AND POWERFUL.I AM GLAD THAT I DO HAVE THE TOOLS TO GO INTO BATTLE WITH IT AND THUS FAR I'VE COME OUT ALRIGHT.THIS TIME.I WILL ALWAYS HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT IT FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE,I CAN SEE THAT CLEARLY NOW.THANKYOU FOR ALLOWING ME TO VENT THIS EVENING.I DO FEEL MORE IN CONTROL AT THE MOMENT.ANGER IS AN EMOTION THAT THIS ALCOHOLIC REALLY CAN'T TOY WITH.BUT AS I SAID I AM HUMAN.ITS THE REST OF THE WORLD WHO HAS THE PROBLEM LOL.

Member: John F.
Location: Marienville,Pa.
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 02:59:11

Comments

hi everyone, John,alcoholic. Just wanted to say anger is a good topic,what i do with it is up to me.It's better than before I got here that's for sure,but i still have along way to go.Thank God it's progress not perfection.To the newcomers thank you for being here hang in there it gets better.God bless you and keep you.

Member: art h.
Location: rcsd
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 10:00:26

Comments

angry, is a feeling, making it unmanagable-it will happen-, expressing it is the emotion, very managable. Hi! art h. here, and I am an alcoholic. Very good topic, as I read, I learn again I shut down myself when I don't deal with my anger, I become flat, humorless & over-all someone others don't enjoy being around, when I get this way others are lucky, they can avoid me, but I am stuck with myself. I used to drink to try and get away from myself, things just got worse. Now I try and deal with things, this gets old after awhile, I get tired of trying to deal with things, I just want to be, and be ok, with the help of others I can do this & even be happy at times. luv to all

Member: Tammy M.
Location: Anchorage,AK
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 11:43:05

Comments

Hi , I'm Tammy and I'm an alcoholic. While I was drinking I was refered to as "Tornado Tammy". When I would get drunk, I would become violent and destructive. Sometimes I would injure myself in the process Since I have become sober, I haven't experienced the same degree of rage Still not sure what I was so angry about. Thanks for listening.

Member: Tom A. 7/25/60
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 15:14:06

Comments

Good Afternoon! My name is Tom A., a grateful recovering alcoholic, who is sober today by the grace of God and this fellowship of Alcholic's Anonymous. Thank you Therese over there in Spain for picking the topic of Anger. AA has taught me a lot about anger. I tried to deny I even had it when I enter this living saving way of life. The truth was I equated anger with those seven deadly sins. You see I was a very negative person when I got here. Fortunately, someone gave me a book by Father John Doe, reportedly the first alcoholic Priest in AA. He suggested that rather than calling them sins call them Basic Instincts and that helped me.I got all of them and anger happens to be one of the instincts I will go to my grave with. I used to equate anger solely with rage, but again someone directed me to a very important book called the dictionary and I discovered that I indeed had much anger and it manifested itself in my life as Self Pity, that PLOM FEELING, and of course Resentment. But you taught me how to handle those two on a daily basis and I am able today cope with my anger in a positive manner. I thank all who have posted here this week your honesty, openmindedness, and willingness to share is what helps all of us stay sober together. We welcome especially the newcomers or as the say on Staying Cyber "NEWBIES"! Enjoy your sobriety today!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net

P.S. PLOM = Poor Little Old Me!

Member: Jim C.
Location: Atlanta,GA
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 15:52:40

Comments

Hi there Jim C. Alcoholic I'm one of those newbies to cyber but not to AA. 2-15-99 I managed to find the place that is lower that whale poop, down DUI road I go. I really knew last time it was'nt rock bottom but this time I DO... ANGRY you bet. Knowing this is going to take a while (life) I'm back in the program again to stay...While still very angry , at both myself & the liquor Demon I find it very comforting to see other newbies out here in the same boat with me. My 1st visit was to the CP this morning and then back here to put my angry 2 cents worth in for help. Thanx for being out there all of you.

Laurie C.

See you on day 11 I'm going to rehab 2nite.

Jim C. ICQ #26177705 or Email - pteinc@flash.net

Member: Paul M
Location: New York City
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 18:27:25

Comments

hi, my name is paul and i am a alcoholic. i am a member of the spruce group here in NY and i have learned alot about myself since making meetings. Anger was one of the driving forces that kept me going back to the bottle,as if it was really going to cure my problems. i have been back to reality since july 19th 1998. and i plan to stay sober!!!

thanks for letting me share

paulM

Member: Lisa M.
Location: California
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 19:48:00

Comments

As of today, i have 16 days of complete sobriety. i was known as a 'retread' - in and out of sobriety for about 2 years till finally i was able to stay sober for 7 1/2 years, but without the support of AA-but my anger, resentment, negativity and lack of gratitude for what i had brought me back to drinking. Luckily, i was only out for 2 1/2 months this time before my friends urged me to go back to AA. There i found wonderful friends whom i could speak to about anything. i found that by praying for God to remove my obsession for alcohol, along with that went my anger. Why be angry i thought? i have SO much to be grateful for. My health has improved which creates a more peaceful mind. By constant remembrance of my Higher Power i am able to take responsibility for my actions, and to choose thoughts that are positive so that i don't experience the anger i used to in the past. Anger from blaming others for all my shortcomings and for all the reasons why my life wasn't working. It wasn't working because i was so self centered and i didn't have the energy to look outside myself at others who i could be of service to. Now i serve in any way i can, i love to make people happy, i make choices that bring positive results, not negative, and i am so grateful to be sober and to not have lost everything this time. And most of all, i continually surrender to God for His Will to direct me to where i'm supposed to be, when i'm supposed to be there - and it truly is a miracle. i see miracles happening in my life every single day. We all have a choice in how we think - and anger can be released in a positive way (run, sing, dance, exercise, talk it out, etc.), while utilizing means to overcome it (therapy, prayer, etc.) and then taking all that energy to use for a higher purpose - helping another alcoholic stay sober. This is one of the miracles and the beauty of this program. Thank you all for sharing.

Member: Clark E
Location: North Carolina
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 23:13:44

Comments

Hi, I'm Clark, alcoholic. Anger is the way most of my character defects manifest themselves. I feel insecure, so I get jealous and then I get resentful and then I get angry and then....unless I come to a place like this or talk to another alcoholic or pray, read the BB etc...I drink. Sure anger is a natural human emotion, and it's not necessarily bad. But in many of our alcoholic minds, it spirals out of control in a heartbeat, until we have no idea how we got to that terrible place. But we have everything we need with this simple program. I haven't been in these rooms for many 24 hours, it took a long time to get here, but in this short time (since 12/3/98), I have found that this program works for me. I can't tell you how many times I have been about to kill someone at work or maybe say something I'd regret later, and instead, I got away and called my sponsor, or went to a meeting. And things got better. I still get pissed at something or someone just about every day-I just haven't drank over it since coming in here. And let me tell you, when I don't drink over anger, there is a whole lot less to be angry about the next morning. That's all I have, thanks for letting me share.

Member: Allison G.
Location: TX
Date: 25 Feb 1999
Time: 23:17:33

Comments

Hi, my name is Allison and I am an alcoholic. I was told when I came to Alcholics Anonymous that and alcholic deserves to know the truth. I guess I expected that sobriety was a feeling. A good feeling all the time. I thought that if I was angry that I was doing something wrong. Then I was told that somedays not taking a drink is as good as it gets. So when sobriety doesn't feel good I am not surprised or discouraged that I am a human being. I thing that the person I have really been the most angry at is "me". It ain't easy being easy. Learning not to be a victim is not always the easier, softer way. Letting go of the idea that "you" are my problem is not always the easier, softer way. But when I experience the freedom that comes from practicing these new principles I am learning it makes it worth it. The freedom to be able to say no when I never could before. I know I have not been sober a long time but I hope I never again experience the despair I experienced just a few short months ago. I thank the old-timers for sharing with me what they do to not drink today and live in a world that we could not live in before.

Member: Randy W.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 00:47:45

Comments

My name is Randy and I am an alcoholic. There has been some very good discussion on anger. I agree with others who have suggested it has it's origin in fear. Really for me it is often about being full of self, as well. I know that anger can be a very dangerous pal for me to hang out with. If I stay in my anger at someone or something (which was my MO) I will eventually show them by going out and getting plastered. I go back to the spiritual axiom that when I am upset I am at fault. Others are not resposible or in control of my peace of mind - unless I hand it over to them. Doesn't mean I don't get really pissed at times. But in sobriety I have grown and hopefully am still growing to learn new ways to deal with it. When I find myself angry now I try to take a time out - then think "am I going to do something about this" (hopefully something constructive for me), if not I need to let it go or it will poison me. Often this means praying for someone who I feel has hurt me (sometimes for quite awhile) then leaving them in God's hands. If someone is to judge them, punish them, etc, it is not my place.

Sometimes anger can be a blessing that pushes me to grow.

Thanks to all for sharing!

Member: Janet G
Location: Or
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 02:56:11

Comments

Hi, I'm Janet an alcoholic addict. Thanks Randy, I also think that praying for someone you are angry with is a good solution. However; I don't see God as judging and puishing, at least not at this point in time.What I do see happen is they tend to be allowed to live in the mess that they make for themselves. The same kinds of messes I found myself in when I allowed anger to become rage. Step by step I had to take responsibility for all those messes, and had to do what I could do to clean up some of them. A little after my second birthday a bunch of things came together that brought me right to the craving stage again. You know, there I was right back at step one, realizing how powerless I really was. When I really looked at this chain of events , it went something like I was really fearfull of a particular situation, I responded with anger, but then I responded with prayer! What a gift to have a tool to keep me from revertiong to the rage stage. I didn't have to drink and I didn't have to use. I am a grateful alcoholic today. thanks.

Member: Margo M
Location: TEXAS
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 09:29:01

Comments

Resentment is the "poison" I take to hurt you.

Yep, I'm definitely an alcoholic. Ha ha

Anger and resentment can have no place in me. Man !! It's a killer.

I have to pray, share... and let it go. NOT EASY for me.. I'm just learning to do that. I'm beginning to see the value in peace and serenity.. and become willing to do whatever it takes to get that serenity back when I lose it.

FEAR - "Screw everything and run" FEAR - "Face Everything and Recover"...

My MO has been the first.. now I'm learning to take it 'straight up'... it's more interesting, this life, now that I'm sober than it ever was when I was drinking... and I've only been sober a few short months.

Love you

Margo

Member: John W
Location: NYC
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 10:20:15

Comments

Thanks for a nice first trip to "Staying Cyber" folks! Read some great stuff on the importance of what I do with my anger- a natural, healthy human emotion- as part of my key to living sober a day at a time, and developing, if not perfecting, a happy, joyous and free existence. Something's working because I'm grateful for, as of 2 days ago, 13 gloriously developing years, a day at a time, and a good job, home, wife (who I'm also lucky to have met once sober 4 years) and a baby on the way (after a couple of fumbles), due 3/12. I still slip into "bull in a china-shop" mode, especially when feeling fearful, less-than/greater than, or guilty, but I'd like to think my WIFE would say it doesn't RULE me. Thanks again for good message.

P.S. I agree with one sharer who mentioned the great helping gift of the fourth and fiftht steps in this process. Great place to start when you think about anger...starting with listing all the people you're pissed (or resentful) at! :-)

Member: Matt O
Location: Mpls. Mn
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 13:19:48

Comments

Hi, I'm an alcoholic and my problem is Matt. Sombody told me once that resentment is like pissing on your own leg because nobody feels it except for you. Makes sense huh? When I'm angry I try to remember that anger and love are essentially the same emotion; two parts of puzzle that stem from the same area of our alcoholic brains. When I'm angry, I make sure to say a prayer and ask my HP to turn that anger into Love. I'm amazed at how often it actually works. Good topic, I'm sure everyone can relate. Thanks for letting me share. e-mail phatt@gateway.net

Member: Mike B.
Location: San Diego
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 15:25:17

Comments

Mike B., Alcoholic

Anger... I'm angry that I have to do this! Voluntarily went to my 1st meeting 2 nights ago....hated it. Went to a different group last night....same feeling. Found this site searching the Web...keeping busy. I Can't remember ever going 2 consecutive days without drinking (at least 20 yrs) and I will be proud of that (at about 8pm tonight). I am going again tonight because I want to stop drinking and you can't argue with 2 days success.....but I'm not happy about having to go. Somebody at last nights meeting said they were "grateful" to be an alcoholic! What's with that! I'm not grateful to be an alcoholic and I'm not grateful for having to do this. It seems to work so I'm going to keep going but so far I'm not "getting it" like everybody else seems to.

Shakin' and sweatin'...but hey, my breath smells good.

Kindest regards to all you folks.

Mike B.

Member: Connie
Location: stl
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 17:12:39

Comments

My problem is Connie and I am an alcoholic;

Thank for the topic on Anger-- When I seem to get angry with what is going on in my life, that means to me, I am not getting my own way, and I know longer have the control. When I turn it over and let go, the anger seems to disappear for me. But if i don't do that and I hold a resentment toward someone cause I was anger and my life stands still, and there just goes forward,

thank you everyone on good shares on anger.

Have a wonderful and happy day

Member: BEEN THERE
Location: DONE THAT
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 18:24:16

Comments

been there, done that!!! They say alcoholism is progressive, to bad A.A. isn't, the more Tx. babys we get, the less real it becomes.

Member: MaryJ
Location: Redmond, WA
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 18:55:08

Comments

Hi,

I'm Mary and an alcoholic. I have enjoyed reading the thoughts that have expressed about anger and I agree with many. I think anger can be a healthy response to an unhealthy environment. I get into trouble with anger when I don't deal with my anger in an appropriate way.

I am trying to tell people why I am angry and how it makes me feel, but I am trying to do this without raising my voice or becoming beligerent about it.

When I get angry and don't respond to my anger appropriately, I am the one who is damaged - either mentally, physically and emotionally. Many times the people I lash out in anger to don't care.

I also have problems letting go of my resentments with people and forgiving and forgetting. I say I forgive, but then I keep remembering things that have happened with specific people in the past. A lesson I need to keep working on is to let these past angers and resentments go.

If I expect me to make progress, not perfection, then who am I to expect perfection from my fellow human beings.

I also agree with the all of the people who have referenced the 4th, 5th and the 10th step. I attended a 10th step program and it really started me thinking about anger, resentment and letting go of the past.

Thanks for listening and sharing.

Member: KathieG
Location: Chesapeake, VA
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 20:27:02

Comments

My name is Kathie and I am an alcoholic. Anger is for me today a real feeling and I am glad to be able to be able to know that. Life because I am in recovery does not excuse me from having to feel. Sometimes circumstances lead to anger. Today I acknowledge it and take the appropiate action. If I am angry for a valid reason, I have to seek out those involved and discuss the situation. If I am wrong, I have to take action to correct the wrong necessary. Although anger is not a pleasent place to be, I'd rather feel and deal with anger than feel nothing!

Member: Rich B.
Location: Ct.
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 21:03:45

Comments

Rich B.--Alcoholic

Anger is a natural emotion. Though sometimes a selfish why-me emotion. I like to try to help someone else when I find myself in this situation. Usually I've totally forgotten what it was I was mad about. Helping someone else and getting out of yourself pretty much works for everything I've found out. It's been a few 24 hours now and I find myself more frustrated than angry. I was told in the begining that if you put a "d" in front of anger you get danger. Anger is a luxury this alcoholic can not afford.

Member: Jill W.
Location: Massachusetts
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 21:24:19

Comments

Hi. I'm Jill and I'm an alcoholic. I can certainly identify with the topic of anger. I was quite angry for many, many years but never knew it until the end of my drinking. From the time I started drinking I had learned to stuff a lot if not all of my feelings. The pain was so unbearable that I drank to escape the pain and the anger and the anger just stayed deep inside me until about the last year of my drinking when I started exploding. I mostly exploded at home at my children and my husband and most nights I would pass out ... not just from drinking too much but from exhaustion. I never knew how to deal with my anger but I'm slowly coming to terms with it by working my program and by working with a therapist who has helped me a great deal. Anger is quite a powerful emotion and can destroy a lot of things. I feel it is important to deal with this emotion whenever it rears it's ugly head - right away - not letting it fester - that can be real dangerous for me. I'm glad I'm not so angry anymore. Thanks.

Member: Kathy B.
Location: Eastern CT
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 21:44:44

Comments

Hi!I'm Kathy B. I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time here though I have been sober many 24 hours. Thanks for being here!

Member: Megan S
Location: Cin., Oh
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 23:04:30

Comments

Hi! I'm Megan and defenitely a real alcoholic. I've buried anger and other related emotions for many years now. I'm not even sure how to identify it anymore. I defenitly feel anger is related to fear and that I am sure I have a lot of. But how do people know when they're angry? I guess I'm really out of practice or out of touch with my emotions because reading that question, it seems the answer would be obvious.

Member: Mary R.
Location: Great Northwest
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 23:11:35

Comments

Hi, I'm Mary, and I'm an alcoholic. Destine, Saw your post about work. Well, I just left a job. Speaking of angry, I had a very angry boss. He would make me angry. I tried to forgive him, as found on page 67 of the Big Book, but he kept at me. He knows I don't drink, and I think it bothers him quite a lot (he does). Anyway, now that I am leaving the job, I feel really liberated and free, and very positive about my future. There's a lot of work out there Destine, and you'll find something. If you feel fear, put your faith in your Higher Power and ask your HP to take away your fear. I found this worked.

We all have anger, and again, I found that turning my anger over to my HP, actually OFFERING the anger to my HP as an offering, really helped. My Higher Power will accept all I give and take the burden away from me. I can't believe that this simple act of faith works, but it does.

Anger and resentment always boil down to the spiritual issues of letting go. When I am angry at someone, I have to remind myself that I am just as guilty as the person I am angry about. Because I am responding to anger with anger.

Member: John P
Location: South Florida
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 23:31:24

Comments

My name is John and I'm an alcoholic.

I have a great teacher, my 3 year old son. When he was one,I took something away from him one day and he freaked out. He threw himself down on the floor and began kicking and screaming. He had never done that before. Now, he didn't learn that from me and I'm pretty sure he didn't learn it from his mother. Where did this anger come from? No matter what your spiritual beliefs are it is obvious that anger a part of being human. I feel anger frequently today. So what? It's not bad or wrong or inappropriate. It's what I do with that anger that matters. A one year old kicks and screams. A practicing alcoholic hits and curses, or worse. A recovering alcoholic takes some deep breaths,or leaves the area, or calls someone to talk, or prays. I can not lose my anger any more than I can lose the capacity to love or feel any other emotion. Thanks for letting me share.

Member: George L.
Location: MI
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 23:36:55

Comments

George, alcoholic: Hey Mike B., it's hard at the beginning. When people say they are "grateful" alcoholics, I think they mean they are grateful that alcoholism led them to AA and to the spiritual program of recovery. I know I am a changed person from going to AA and reading AA literature and trying to live a positive, spiritual life. I am grateful for that. Just one day at a time is all it takes. And taking advantage of this incredible program. Good luck to you Mike.

Member: Ellen M.
Location: Edmonton
Date: 26 Feb 1999
Time: 23:42:21

Comments

This is the first time in a very long time, that I have been sober. Somehow one week ago I woke-up and decided to get real and stop drinking. It's been a tough 7 days - especially today - but I've made it this far and am determined to continue. I haven't been to an AA meeting before and am wondering how the sponser program works? Also, about the anger issue, is this the way an alcoholic justifies or excuses the drinking?

Member: Danny F.
Location: Fort Worth, (Cowtown) Texas, U.S.A.
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 02:06:37

Comments

Hello, to ALL my AA brothers & Sisters! My name is Danny, and, I'm a Drunk, who don't drink, TODAY! (Big MIRACLE!)

Welcome, to all, new to AA, and new to StayingCyber!

ANGER - Great topic! For me, it's one more way of running away. It's a way to avoid looking at myself and whatever predicament, my actions have gotten me into. If I'm angry at you, then, I'm too busy, to be angry with myself! Experience has shown, that for me, any form of running away from myself, will, eventually, lead me to ALL other forms, of running away! It's a luxury, I cannot afford, today. It's, also, a character defect, that "I" cannot change! It takes the help of my God, to bring about any change, in my character defects. How do I enlist His aid? I work the AA program, and, I get better. Funny thing - When I get better, so do those "assholes', who make me angry! It seems to boil down, to the fact, that, today, I do have a choice, with God's help! I can choose to be angry, and risk my life, or, I can choose, not to react, in my old ways; to try something different!

God loves me, today! You ALL, too!

Thanks, for letting me share!

Danny F. - "Just another old Drunk & Junkie, finally, learning how to live!"

drthumbtack@yahoo.com

Member: Christine M.
Location: Bayville, NJ
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 02:40:00

Comments

Hi, My name is Christine and I am an alcoholic.

Like JOHN P. in South Florida so eloquently pointed out, anger is a human, natural emotion that we are born with. As an active alcoholic my methods for dealing with it or not dealing with it as the case may be were inappropriate at best. I would either outwardly rage and do whatever I had to in order to get my way, or I would stuff it and drink to quell the feelings of rage.

Today as a sober alcoholic, I have learned more appropriate ways of dealing with my anger from the 12 Steps and those who came before me. I am able to disagree without hating the person today (MOST times) and am able to confront those who have done things to make me angry, (MOST times) i.e. taken advantage of me, hurt my feelings, etc. and I am able to let the anger go and not let it consume me today.

I am not perfect. I don't always deal with my anger the way I would have liked. When that happens, I am able to make amends to anyone that I may have offended or hurt. Just being able to see that I may have hurt someone today is growth for me. Today I realize that my anger/attitude affects everyone in my life today not just me. And I am able to take responsibility for that.

MIKE B. in San Diego, I've been there, shaking and sweating. I also went to AA unwillingly (was sent thru the courts). That was almost 10 years ago and tho' I wasn't greatful then, I am now. It just takes awhile. And it is not ALL work.

Thanks for letting me share.

With Love and Peace,

Christine M.

P.S. So, LARRY, this is where you have been hiding!!!lol!!!

Member: Zane
Location: All Points
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 02:45:47

Comments

OPEN LETTER:

I find that, when I am angry, I am actually temporarily agnostic, doubting the Power of God to take care of what needs to be taken care of, when He deems fit.

Agnosticism is a dangerous thought pattern for this alkie. It is only when I decide that I know better than God that I become angry.

Anger is a perfectly natural emotion, borne of selfishness over not getting what self wants.

By looking at the underlying defect, and understanding it, I can get to the root of the problem. I have not been able to have God remove an emotion, nor do I believe I ever will. I have, however, been successful at having Him remove the underlying defects.

When I am angry, that's when I need God most, though I was once too ashamed to ask for His help at times of high emotion.

Working the first nine steps helped me get in touch with all the underlying defects of character which produce anger, and its subsequent products: revenge, resentment, etc.

For me, the Steps proved to be the most enlightening path I've ever set foot on.

Member: Geri W
Location: Virginia
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 06:34:29

Comments

Sorry for the "double dipping". Ellen, I don't know about other drunks, but I used all the excuses to drink. However, now sober for some 24's, I have come to believe the principles outlined in the Big Book of AA. One of those is that my anger is dangerous if I don't manage it and deal with what has caused it. I learned the hard lesson that unless I am spirtually fit, my "feelings" will lie to me. I thought I was supposed to "feel" my way through life. Not anymore. Mike, my Grateful is not a feeling. It's what I do to show gratitude for my sobriety. It means that my actions demonstrate that I have been given a daily reprieve from the complusion to drink. I'm grateful for my job - so I work hard. I'm grateful for my car - so I keep it clean and in working order. I'm grateful for my family - so I spend time with them. I'm grateful for my soberity - so I practice the prinicples of AA in all of affairs. Hugs.

Member: Doug I
Location: California
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 11:39:26

Comments

Doug here, angry alcoholic and pothead.

I've let my anger build up so much that it has become an involuntary reflex -- sort of like swallowing. I catch myself scowling when I'm not even consciously angry about anything.

I'm learning that so much of my anger is a manifestation of my self hatred -- despising myself for being afraid or uncomfortable about just about everything. Basically, I'm busy beating myself up, and other people make the mistake of getting in the way. To avoid hurting others, I isolate.

Needless to say, one grows tired of this. I now make a commitment to work the steps and be of service, to others as well as myself -- I need to get out of my head and into my heart.

God, grant me the serenity . . . .

Member: Robert B.
Location: Boise Idaho
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 12:03:12

Comments

Hi, my name is Robert and I am an alcoholic.

I find it significant that the big book does not tell us that anger is bad--or good for that matter. What it does tell us is that it is etremely dangerous for alcoholics! And it gives us tools to use on the anger problem. I have never found fear to be absent in an inventory done on anger or resentment. Thus Zane's comment about temporary agnosticism seems appropriate. In my life I have not found fear and faith to be coexistant. As soon as I ask for spiritual help, I am back on the path, then I can actually use the other tools in the spiritual toolkit.

Peace Robert

Member: Roger P.
Location: canada
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 14:22:09

Comments

All this talk of stifling anger I find dangerous. Anger is unhealthy and corrosive if left unexplored, I believe. I also believe that not teaching my kids to be angry in situations wherein they are being abused is dangerous to their well-being. I do agree that most of us cannot afford to be openly angry with most people most of the time but have to learn from the anger we do have. Some of us also can lose control of our anger and this is not what I'm talking about. We need more help either in or outside the program professionally. But anger is a teacher from whom I can learn and there is no way I can agree that it always comes from fear unless you mean by that that it comes from a fear of being unable to express your feelings fully. I'm sure I'm going to get a reaction from a lot of people on this but here's two qualifying rules I believe in. 1) I should not try to hurt anyone directly or indirectly with my anger unless it is absolutely necessary in the ethical sense of the word and 2) I must always have permission to be angry or take it outside to the mountains or forests. I'm sure God can handle it there. Finally, I have to add that there is a whole tribe of natives in my country that sobered up here and found that sexual and physical abuse had been rampant in a community that was extremely alcoholic. They have used anger & AA in their healing to great success in the ways I'm describing. The kid who can't stand up for himself is the real reason for my comments. S/he has to learn reasonable anger under certain circumstances or risk abuse I think. Despite Bill W's laudable comments about "justifiable anger" I think we ought to be careful about being too condemning of anger where it can lead to health. Maybe Bill, himself, whom I love dearly, would have been less depressed than he was if he hadn't been so hard on this subject. Thanks for listening. If you get angry at this entry that's OK.

Member: rick j.
Location: juneau, ak
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 14:59:19

Comments

rick alcoholic-greetings and welcome to aa you never have to drink again and you don't have to do it alone. anger-what part of self is it that i don't understand? i am garden vari-alcoholic so i did as was suggested in the big book with someone who had gone before me so they knew the path. having had a spiritual awakening as the result of the steps my attitude and outlook has changed, best of all i haven't a drink as the result of things i don,t accept with gratitude. i do have fits of anger from time to time, it reminds me of sitting at a bar waiting to see if the bartender sees me and what will come next-i belive gods will for me is to carry a message of love and life without alcohol and freedom of self. one day at a time i move in the best attitude i can muster. thanks aa and thank you god.

Member: Roy
Location: S.
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 17:06:37

Comments

Hi. My name is Roy and I'm an alcoholic. I appreciate all of the discussion I have read so far. I have had a great deal of anger associated with my drinking over the years - both while I was drunk and then from the resentment afterwards. I have come to realize that anger itself is not a bad thing, but it's what you do with it that counts. If you wallow in the inevitable self-pity that can accompany it, then it can get the best of you. However, if you can turn it into a constructive force, then it can actually be good. This, of course, is easier said than done, but atleast it's something to shoot for. Thanks for leting me share.

Member: Joel H.
Location: Sandhills, N.C.
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 18:10:03

Comments

I'm Joel, an alcoholic. I have a tape that plays over and over in my head sometimes. It's all the bad stuff that happened to me and all the hurt I caused others. I can no longer blame anyone for my alcoholism. I drank because I wanted to, then I drank because I had to. I am so grateful that A.A. is here and that I have people that are no different from me in respects to my disease. I'm slowly realizing that. Thanks for some great suggestions. I went to my first meeting when I was about 20 years old, I'm 36 now. Dry for about 6 weeks. It is all about surrender to me. I hope with time I can work through my past honestly and come to see myself honestly, the good and bad. I am sure the more acceptance I find along the way will surely enable me to become less selfish, more tolerant, and certainly more humble. Thank God for you people and for A.A.

Member: Janae' H.
Location: Kansas City
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 18:22:09

Comments

Janae'-recovering alcoholic/addict. I have just about 6 months under my belt coming March 4th. I have learned to like and dislike my sobriety. I also have learned that anger is like and ice berg. The top of the ice berg that you see above the water is the anger. What you don't see is what is under the water. What emotion is causing you to be angry? Is it depression? Stress? Frustration? Being exausted? Your children or relationship? Whatever the reason, you have left it bottled up inside for awhile and it built up until you explode into anger. That is what I have done. When I confronted my probation officer last week, I got angry at her because of other things I have stuffed for a week or two. What good did it do to her? Or me? Nothing. Not a damned thing. Some things are hard to roll off of your shoulders or give to your HP. But if you keep at it, whatever causes that anger will completely eat you up inside. I really don't like to be angry. Somewhere, somehow I am hurting someone if not myself. And for me, being angry is completely uncomfortable. I'd rather be happy than to hurt someone/something.

Thank you for letting me share and have a moment for a piece of mind.

There are some good comments today and this is a great topic.

I'll be jumping back on here again soon!! Until then, take care!!

Member: Katrina K
Location: north Florida
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 18:26:07

Comments

Hi Trina an alcoholic. This is so cool I am new here and have read alot of good things. I too can not afford the luxury of anger and resentments, if I do I will be back out there drinking. I have to remember I am not in control of people, places, or things. That is HP's department. If I am angry at a person I need to pray for good things for that person. I have also found when I get angry I need to get physical, meaning cleaning, walking, or baking. Using that energy in a possitive way. Thanks so much for leting me put my two cents in. For those of you that want contact with another drunk with 9 yrs of sobriety please e-mail me at: wingnutk@hotmail.com

Member: dj
Location: norfolk
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 21:21:36

Comments

justified anger is not for us alkes, vengeance is not ours,unless playing god,like a sponsor we all know,a little anger,!!!!! god bless

Member: Michael M.
Location: Miami,Fl
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 21:37:13

Comments

Hi, my name is Michael & I am an alcoholic. I've been in the program about 11 months and the changes I've experienced have been remarkable. Particularly concerning my resentful attitude and anger at the world not being the way I think it should be. I have a step-son who is an active abuser of drugs and my wife is really suffering because of her co-depency and due to the fact that she can't cure her son. Most of the time now I am able to "let go and let God," althouhg being human, I still get angry and feel at not being able to help them. I try to be an example and "walk the walk," and as my sponsor has suggested, let them find their own "bottom." I'm not sure what is working for me right now, but if I go to meetings, work the steps, do service, prayer and meditate every and night(and sometimes during the day), and help another alcoholic when I can, then I don't have a desire to take a drink.

It seems lately, however, that I don't feel like sharing in meetings, sort of got the feeling that I don't have a lot to offer, or that anything I say has already been said. Has anyone else experienced that? If anyone has any comments or advice please e-mail me at glfhall@bellsouth.net.

Thank You.

Member: jon &ryan
Location: shreveport louisiana
Date: 27 Feb 1999
Time: 22:42:09

Comments

KEEP COMING BACK

Member: Brian R.
Location: Las Vegas
Date: 28 Feb 1999
Time: 02:25:33

Comments

Brian- alcoholic I spent way to long being angry at my situation.I then finally realized that things were bad because of my drinking.I always tried to find other answers to quiting even though I tried about 10,000 times.I would be mad because I did not have any money.or because I was lonely or because I felt like crap all the time.If you are angry at being an alcoholic I do not believe you should be.This may sound ridiculous,but if you are serious about recovery then I think being happy about finding the answer is wonderful.God bless you all!!!! Brian

Member: jim w
Location: walnutport pa
Date: 28 Feb 1999
Time: 06:24:10

Comments

hi everyone, I'm jim an alky. Just want to say I really enjoy jumping on this website for quick mini-meetings. Sometimes during the day I need a little quick start and you all really help keep it green for me. Anger is somewhat like alcoholism, It Never solves anything and general makes it worse!!! See you all on the flip side God Bless