Member: Kim M.
Location: FL
Remote Name: 66.245.111.26
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 09:11 AM -0500

Comments

I am Kim and I am an alcoholic. I am a toddler in the program of AA. I am need of discussion this morning like every moring, faith in a higher power. I have my own conception of God, but from time to time I have experienced spiritual dryness. I then start to wonder if my conception of God is enough to carry me through any situation. How do you maintain the personal connection with your higher power if you feel prayer sometimes is not enough?


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 65.102.43.100
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 09:59 AM -0500

Comments

Craig L, another "real alcoholic" (page 21) Good topic Kim. When I was still using, I had no hope and no Joy in my life. In learning the steps I found Peace and Joy for the first time since I was a small child. I am grateful for having that Joy, but I often find myself in distress. Usually my fear comes from work, finances or relationships. When Iím not getting my way or waiting for a decision, I know calling someone in the program or getting to a meeting will help me feel better, but do I naturally do that? NO!!! Often I will isolate and steep in my misery. My character defects come blasting forward. The bottom line for me is my feelings are just feelings they will not kill me as long as I donít believe they are worth drinking over. If I stay sober and continue to do the next right thing, the Joy always returns.


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 11:01 AM -0500

Comments

Adam, alcoholic. Kim, thank you so much for the excellent topic. I think prayer is wonderful, but action is the great equalizer. I have a friend back in Chicago named Rich L. who always says that he personally belives that God's will for him is to help others, and that service work in AA is often the means by which he does that. I, too, am on board with that idea because when I was new, that Group Of Drunks (G.O.D.) was my Higer Power. All those people plus me was a power greater than me, and all those people cared about was staying sober and helping another alcoholic achieve sobriety. Although it would be a long time before I had something to share with a newcomer in the way of experience, strength and hope, I was able to do a small part to make an AA meeting a welcoming and hospitable place for a brand-new person to find help and/or hope. I made coffee, or I stood at the door and greeted people as they came in, or I helped set up and/or clean up. Sometimes I would even venture into very uncharted and daring territory and give a person with less time than me my phone number and encourage them to call, saying something about how I was a newcomer too and maybe we can help each other. All these little actions that helped me stay close to and active with that Group Of Drunks, and what's really woderful about that is that my wants and needs and theirs were exactly the same. Through that action I expressed a true willingness to do the will of something that was bigger than me alone. Today, many years after my first few months in AA, I know that I can always do that kind of service work even (and especially) if I don't feel real close to the God of my own understanding. If I have tried to do some small thing to make an AA meeting a place where a newcomer can come and feel welcomed, then I have done the will of a power greater than myself. Try it sometime...there is immense spiritual reward in doing so. Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Rarely
Location: rontherocket@hotmail.com
Remote Name: 207.161.34.250
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 11:18 AM -0500

Comments

Kim. What a great topic. You have struck at the very heart of our program, Thank God I never had to become a saint as I walked through the doors of A.A. and over 30 years later Im still only making spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection, I still do some of the things that I shouden't be doing, to makes my life unmanagable. When I first got sober and asked for Gods help I always got it, Later on I read that we have to get over the idea that God was nothing but a bush-league pinch hitter, to be called upon only in a emergency. I think I had to stop creating those emergancy's that I expected God to fix. In plain words it was time to seek and do Gods will, and try to stop producing confussion. God really helped me a lot in the early days of my soberiety. And God still helps me a lot, Instead of fixing up the mess I make. Im helped by not makeing a whole mess out of every thing in the first place. and for that Im thankful. Now this is only my experience, Isen't that what its all about shareing our experience, strength, and hope. And Kim may you always walk in the sunlight of the spirit.


Member: Rob
Location: Indiana
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 02:48 PM -0500

Comments

Interesting topic and I especially liked the comment Craig made, that "feelings are just feelings and they will not kill me as long as I don't believe they are worth drinking over". The feelings will pass. When it comes to the higher power, perhaps believing in a higher power does not help enough. We have to believe in ourselves too! I find myself thinking of the phrase 'God helps those who help themselves'. Somehow this thought helps me realize I have the strength within myself to get myself back on track if I feel close to wandering off the path. I pull myself up by my bootstraps by using the steps to help myself stay on the path and that higher power then helps lead me further along on the road to recovery every time.


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Remote Name: 66.112.69.77
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 04:44 PM -0500

Comments

Dear Kim: Thank you for the topic and I hope I always remain a toddler in this program that indicates that there is always room for growing in sobriety. My first year in A.A. was in Norfolk, Virginia and they had 8 meetings a week and at these meetings both the Steps and Traditions were read from the podium. Upon reflection I can now see how my understanding of God changed to be like the one expressed in Tradition 2. Infact, the group was my Higher Power and even today I feel that my Higher Power speaks to me through more often than not in the group conscience. Step 11 was also a big help for me. In other words keep on meditating and keep on praying. Life has its ups and downs. When I asked those sponsors about prayer they told me all I had to do was to ask my Higher Power to keep me sober today, don't drink today, and thank my Higher Power at night for keeping me sober. You know something that still works today. Love and prayers from an alky who cares. God Bless - Tom A.


Member: Siobhan
Location: Sacramento, CA
Remote Name: 63.80.72.39
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 06:07 PM -0500

Comments

Hi,I'm Siobhan(Chevy) and I'm an alcoholic. I know when I'm lacking faith in my higher power because I begin to run on my fears. And when they get overwhelming I have to have faith in my HP to walk me through it. I have come to an understanding that the things that are beyond my controle are acts of God in my life. Right now I'm dealing with getting dumped by my sponsor. I had to do alot of praying and realize that it's not about me. It's my HP's will to have me move on. I'm growing in a different direction and I have to trust that the right person will be brought into my life for the next leg of my journey. Don't get me wrong, I'm as scared as hell. I hate change. but I know that this is out of my hands and I will have faith enough to put in my HP's hands. "Thy will not mine be done." Chevy


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.133
Date: 17 Feb 2004
Time: 08:56 PM -0500

Comments

HI. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. I like that topic Kim. You mentioned that you had a concept of God and that is all that is required. God has always answered my prayers. I may not like the answers but they are answered, usually with a yes, no, or a maybe. However, prayer not followed by some action is sometimes useless. My waste paper basket catches on fire... now we all can hold hands and pray all day long ...but unless someone comes along and puts water on that fire chances are slim that it will go out. If fear is the problem then it is Step Four, Col 1 "I am afraid of_____"; Col 2 "Why am I afraid of_____"; Col 3 "How is this fear affecting me?" and the missing Col 4 "What is my part in this fear. In most cases prayer followed by some action ( usually a step) will work. Love you all. Bill


Member: Tom M.
Location: Owego,NY
Remote Name: 198.81.26.103
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 01:02 AM -0500

Comments

Hi this is new to me and I am trying to use every tool I can. I have been around AA since 1982 and the longest period of sobriety was 10 and since then I have fought, cried, almost died, came back, out came back. The one constant factor and the first thing to go when I originally went out was a "constant contact" I have tried so hard these last few years but I have not been able to apply all the things I had learned and that is part of the problem...I was not trying to relay on a Higher Power, just me and we all know where that can get us. So here I am again, willing, humble, older and tired of fighting alone. I want to give up and give it over to a Power greater than myself..so easy nce you realize and try.thank you all for everything


Member: sandy c
Location: scotland
Remote Name: 62.31.98.32
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 06:42 AM -0500

Comments

Yvonne. CVs are hard when there are gaps. I applied for a job recently and my CV ended in July 2001 when I hit a definite rock bottom. At the interview I said I had an 'alcohol problem' but hadn't had a drink for more than two years. But as I had been to my doctor and gone through a series of organ function tests, I was able to produce a letter from him saying that he supported my contention that I was not drinking. I got the job and although it doesn't pay a quarter of what I was earning before, at least it's work. After all the dishonesty and cover-ups of when I was drinking I didn't really mind if I failed to get the job because of 'coming clean'. Somehow, telling the truth seemed to be the only thing to do and I have to say I felt good about that. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. My father died two years after a cancer op. He never spoke about his illness and luckily was never in pain. But I know how hard it is to see a parent gradually fade away. I hope your dad makes it through ok. I haven't posted to the pot for a long time but it keeps me going. Although I've not been to a meeting in over a year it's AA that's made me decide that I won't drink today. Love to all, Sandy


Member: Tom P.
Location: Thumb area,MI
Remote Name: 209.206.132.200
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 11:35 AM -0500

Comments

I'm Tom and a recovered alcoholic. Great topic Kim. Especially early in sobriety, my faith was in people who had been sober for awhile and were content. Also, I was searching for God but could not find a real sense of His presence. After four years of sobriety, I thought I would drink again - troubled mind and heart. An A.A. suggested I pray to Jesus Christ directly. I had not done that since childhood. The effect was immediate. Since then, I have not had an urge to drink and He has sustained my faith and keeps me sober. Yes, faith is enough. Old time A.A. would say read Matthew Ch.5,6, an7 (sermon on the mount), I Cor. ch. 7 and the book of James - all from the Bible. Thanks, Tom


Member: nikki f
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 24.13.50.185
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 12:13 PM -0500

Comments

hi! I'm nikki an alcoholic. thank you kim for your fine topic. TRUST GOD CLEAN HOUSE AND HELP OTHERS helps me through the day and if that does not work pray pray pray and if that does not work pray again. have a sober day. thanks


Member: THOMAS A
Location: SPOKANE, WA
Remote Name: 66.189.209.70
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 05:28 PM -0500

Comments

Thomas alcoholic, Kim your on the right path to recovery. Prayers come true all we have to do is follow our higher power, and with most of us it is god, he knows the end results all we have to do is apply ourselves. your on the right path just keep beleiving.I open my bible to the index to find a catogory that fits my feelings, or my needs for the day. thats what works for me and let my faith for god take over and it works, then I can share with people like myself,living life to its fullest without alcohol, or drugs. Have a good week all.


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 205.188.209.140
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 05:39 PM -0500

Comments

Hi, Kelly an alcoholic. Kim, when I feel like my prayers are not enough I reach inside myself and ask God to use me to help another. I find if I keep my eyes open all kinds of situations to help another appear. On Sunday night that happened and it renewed me to be of service to God and another person. Just a suggestion, Kelly :)


Member: Barb Mc
Location: PA
Remote Name: 68.163.27.174
Date: 18 Feb 2004
Time: 11:52 PM -0500

Comments

Barbara, alcoholic. Thanks for the topic Kim. When I start to feel as if my God has let me out to dry and I'm feeling as if I'm standing alone in the middle of a desert I start making a gratitude list. That way I can remember when I was taken care of. I know all my prayers are answered. Sometimes the answer is not what I wanted. As someone said earlier the answers are yes, no or not now. When I'm feeling the lowest that is usually the time someone is put in my life and I have to get out of myself and extend my hand to someone else. Sometimes just 15 minutes of quiet meditation can do the trick. Sometimes we are so busy talking to our God that we forget to stop and listen to the answers. The longer I stay around the easier it gets. Early on I heard a statement from someone that had a good chunk of time and I admired their soberity. It is something that has stuck with me. He said, "Faith can move mountains but I had better bring a shovel". I can't just have faith that everything is going to be alright. I have to do my part and that doesn't mean sitting in front of the TV praying for the means to pay the rent or put food on the table. I had better be willing to do my part and go out and break a sweat earning the money to pay the rent and buy a loaf of bread. I can pray to my God asking for His help and guidance but I am the one that must do the actual work. Just know that you aren't alone. We all go through spells when we think we can't handle any more. But if I look closely at my life I can see just where and how God has guided and taken care of me. Something like the Footprints prayer. Hang in there. A drink won't make anything better.


Member: Laur H.
Location: Aurora, IL
Remote Name: 206.148.80.49
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 07:31 AM -0500

Comments

Laure, Alcoholic, here. Good morning. Barb Mc, thanks for reminding us that we are not alone. You know how they say no man is an island. I have felt like I was that island, alone with all of its inhabitants to feed and care for. With codependency issues out of control, beer helped me sleep at night. The Creator has helped me before, but over the last year I wasn't listening. I was praying, but not listening. Drinking, not listening. Over the last 7 days I have been trying to listen more. The Creator's voice and will have been louder. I'm 7 days sober and see so much good in my life. Here I thought I was alone, but God was there all along. The footstep prayer pretty much describes it. I'm a thankful alcoholic. What does He have in store for me today?


Member: Bob
Location: UK
Remote Name: 129.215.220.37
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 07:33 AM -0500

Comments

I'm Bob and I'm an alcoholic. This is a good topic and I've enjoyed reading everyones shares. Lot's of identification and food for thought. God knows, I have enough imperfections to stock a wholesale outlet. What I've learned in recovery is that God is always there - it is immaterial to him that I vacilate - when I ask for help, help is forthcoming. I'm not alone. When I admit my imperfections and ask for help the weight of the world lifts my shoulders. This is a tremendous source of strength for me. Thank all the patient, wonderful people in AA for opening my mind.


Member: Deb B
Location: Michigan
Remote Name: 68.21.149.62
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 08:21 AM -0500

Comments

HI Everyone, I"m Deb Alcoholic. Alot of the sayings we have around the table came to my head, Faith Without Works is Dead, Fake it Til You Make It, Progress not Perfection, etc. The simplest I tend to keep it is the 11th step. Prayer and meditation. The two are inseperatable. In the 12 & 12 it states that doing self-examination, prayer, and meditation seperately will provide benifits but working them together so they are interwoven will provide an unshakeable foundation. Although the time I meditate varies (still progressing in this area)it never has failed to help me become calmer and able to recieve what I need from my HP. I have to practice listening (meditation) not just talking (prayer)with my HP.


Member: jeff t
Location: new jersey
Remote Name: 205.188.209.140
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 09:30 AM -0500

Comments

hi my name is jeff im a alcaholic


Member: Dale S
Location: California
Remote Name: 24.176.237.30
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 12:11 PM -0500

Comments

In donít believe anyone can ever totally understand God. I realized years ago that my concept of God was probably really shallow compared to the awesomenes of God. There have been times when I have felt Gods presents and I have felt him inside me and at that moment in time I knew God, but I was far from understanding him. I think it is awesome that you ďwonder if your conception of God is enoughĒ. My conception of God is a living thing, always growing and changing as He reviels Himself to me over the years. Faith and understanding are wonderful tools and you can get a lot out of reading (for me itís the book Alcoholics Anonymous and the Bible). I think what is more important is getting out there and helping His kids recover from alcoholism. Just shaking the hand of someone you donít know at an AA meeting can mean a lot.


Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 64.12.96.45
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 03:00 PM -0500

Comments

Hi gang, Joe B Alcoholic and a candidate for many more 12th step programs. Always had a lot of faith, just couldnt practice it. Inventories, 11th steps and time helped my contact and faith. i still have low periods with my HP, but its better. Hang in there


Member: easy
Location: Maryland
Remote Name: 12.40.163.232
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 04:10 PM -0500

Comments

Hello,Chris an alcoholic. Good topic Kim, I find that my HP does hide from me from time to time, sometimes when I need my HP the most! I believe that is a time set aside for growing and making right choices with what is going on in my life at the present time. Remember the times when you have felt the prescence of your HP and how good it felt because when you receive that lift again,it gets better and better. Keep it simple, easy does it, don't take a drink and your HP will show something to you that you could never imagine. Chris


Member: Rich uscg
Location: Georgia
Remote Name: 24.173.36.183
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 08:31 PM -0500

Comments

I am totally new to this whole program, and finally ready to admit my issues, if someone can email me at rgg1000@aol.com I would greatley appreciate it.


Member: AndyD
Location: Detroit
Remote Name: 68.41.155.151
Date: 19 Feb 2004
Time: 08:42 PM -0500

Comments

Another excellent topic. I have two perspectives to share here. It's interesting to hear Adam use the Group Of Drunks (GOD) as his higher power at the beginning of his venture into AA. That was actually the biggest problem I had with the whole premise of AA. At first I believed that was how everyone was treating it more or less and it seemed to me that things couldn't work that way, because those strangers couldn't be there all the time. Luckily for me, I was proved wrong by many caring people. Secondly, I think that when your higher power "hides" on you, it is important to be able to count on yourself. Not an easy way to look at things, but although I don't believe that my HP is deserting me or letting me down, sometimes I think that it is important to know that you can rely on yourself and not have to ask your HP for guidance all of the time after you have been at it for a while. And as Chris stated, once you have made the right choice on your own, you will be rewarded.


Member: Vernon P
Location: Illinois
Remote Name: 64.12.96.238
Date: 20 Feb 2004
Time: 07:02 AM -0500

Comments

Hi Kim and everyone. My name is Vernon and I'm an alcoholic. I like the topic. You mentioned concept of God along with maintaining a connection with higher power. I have always had the concept that God is unlimited in power, presence, and wisdom. Some Christians refer to "omnipotence, omnipresence, and omniscience." If I really believe that, I also believe God is present in every human activity. If I see a mother picking daisies with her child, God is there. If I see the mailman trudging through the snow, he is there. If I hear a man hail a taxi on a busy street, she is there. Higher power is in my boss's office, in my customer's home. He is also in the bar fight, the Christmas dinner, the din of Wall Street. He is and has been everywhere--even in the most painful moments of human history. If that is true, he/she/it is present in my every waking moment, whether I believe it or feel it. So how do I try to maintain a conscious awareness of God even without prayer? By remembering that if someone cuts me off in traffic, God is in that moment trying to teach me something. If I forget my wife's AA birthday, God is there teaching me something. If someone pats me on the back, God is teaching me something. In the meetings, God's voice is present. Whatever and whenever, higher power is always there, giving me opportunity to make my life better. I can use prayer to help remind me of these things. But if I don't act on it, his presence means nothing. When I keep these things in mind, staying away from alcohol one day at a time is possible.


Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Northwest Ohio
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 20 Feb 2004
Time: 06:27 PM -0500

Comments

Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic....Great topic Kim! How do you maintain the personal connection with your higher power if you feel prayer sometimes is not enough? I personaly have never felt in Sobriety prayer was enough...it tells me int he Big Book to practice these principals in all my affairs after I have had a Spiritual awakening...I thought that occurred when I was finally honestly asking God to help instead of demanding He do something....so today I try by way of actions as well as prayers to feel like I am in connection with my Higher Power...I can tell one way becasue things will not be going well and my first instinct is that I must trying to run the show instead of allowing God to direct me and me asking what is His will for me, and to give me the power to carry that out.... my desires to feel connected have lead me in the direction of helping others, staying honest with myself and others, trying to be a good person....the result is I am sober today and I feel good....so I believe I am doing what I need to ....and I try not to forget... I cannot fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life Gabrielle


Member: easy rider
Location: on the road
Remote Name: 24.64.223.205
Date: 20 Feb 2004
Time: 09:58 PM -0500

Comments

Yes; ((I like it.)) good topic. What's my conception of God? and where in the heck did it come from? And how's it working for me so far?.. hmm pretty lofty thoughts to contend with... well... my mind is already blown. better take five... ( oh yooo hooooo!! Maa aaarrrk" I see your still a thought provoking kind of fellow.. nice to see some old familiars. Huggy wuggy, gushy wushy...you know you love it! :-)


Member: Laur H.
Location: Aurora, IL
Remote Name: 206.148.80.34
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 02:49 AM -0500

Comments

Laure Alcoholic here. Seems like the moments of silence are few at my home. Sometimes I wish I could just go away somewhere and pray in quiet. But I guess if God can hear all our prayers through this very noisy world, I should be able to hear and see His answers too. It is hard though. 8 days sober and thankful. Good night all.


Member: Jeff M.
Location: test
Remote Name: 63.231.165.183
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 10:50 AM -0500

Comments

I've been reading a lot from the Christian mystic tradition, and I've profited from it. One of the mystics said to be with God you should change your focus from your own center of gravity to the will of God (out there in the world). That means whatever task is before you right at this moment, you should do that task (perfectly) and bring it to completion. No, that doesn't mean you have to be perfect. It means do it the way you know it can be done best. If you're making soup, do you chop the onions really small because you know your wife likes it best that way? When you sweep the floor do you skip spots that are a bit hard to reach? You can find total humility and closeness to God in the most menial task if you see the task as calling something out of you, instead of seeing it as another object in your field of vision. A few months after I got sober, I told my wife that from now on, I'd clean the bathrooms in the house. You should see me with my happy smile as I scrub every week. I'm telling you, I have never felt closer to God. I scrub those filthy floors and toilets, and I scrub them well. I even went to the hardware store and shopped for industrial strength cleaning solutions that I thought were interesting or new. I seek both perfection and humility in cleaning bathrooms well. My wife doesn't ask why I do it. Interesting thing though, it seems to make her laugh and make her feel good. That's a nice side effect after all the mean things I said to her when I was drunk years ago. Hmmm.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.133
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 01:20 PM -0500

Comments

".....for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental idea of God. It may be obscured by calamity, by pomp, by worship of other things, but in some form or another it is there. For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstration of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself." We will worship the thing most important to us.. I worshiped booze for nearly 33 years. Love ya all. Bill


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 64.109.136.4
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 03:55 PM -0500

Comments

Kim D. Great topic. I have experienced the same feelings of "dry periods" about my faith in my God too, especially earlier in my sobriety. It was suggested to me to always be willing to believe. I was raised a Catholic and was taught good christian values by my immediate family (non-alcoholics, BTW) but I always had trouble believing in God. When I came to AA, they told me how I could tap into the collective good of the group or the collective good of mankind to start. The god of my youth (shoved down my throat by others, not so much by my family) is not the God I believe in now. So in essence, I had to learn to believe in a Power Greater than myself all over again. People in the program also explained to me that the more I practiced a willingness to believe in "something" (by praying every day and meditating (self-reflection), the closer I would get to really believing. Some said fake it to you make it, others turned me on to C.S. Lewis and other spiritual writtings. So I came to believe after time. If I didn't practice that willingness, I would have never gained the faith that I rely on today. I'm also a firm believer that there are days where, no matter how much I try, I experience a drying up in my faith. I call that "my current manifistation of agnosticism." It's not unlike a big league slugger who experiences a batting slump. The slugger, if he goes back to the basics, almost always comes out of the slump by practicing back-to- basics techniques. Usually the slump is caused by the batter thinking too much about form, and not trusting his athletic ability (function).


Member: jimr
Location: chicago
Remote Name: 64.109.136.4
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 04:13 PM -0500

Comments

I apologise for the double dip, but I had to say reading all the posts here today really strengthened my faith in my God and AA. Thank You Friends!


Member: Dot C
Location: Baton Rouge, LA
Remote Name: 66.32.66.254
Date: 21 Feb 2004
Time: 08:33 PM -0500

Comments

Thank you for the topic. One of the meditation books i use is "Around the Year with Emmett Fox," and the readings have deepened my perspective in the spiritual arena, and really have helped make the charge of "God either is, or He isn't. What was our choice to be?" THe readings lately have said that God lives through each one of us, and that each of us is one small facet of the larger total nature of God. That thought about blew my mind. I used to think that I was everything and that MY problems and MY so on were the focus of the universe! What a large though to know that I am a part of my Higher Power!!!! Love and Peace--Happy Mardi Gras!