Member: Tommy B.
Location: Kansas
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 9:09:19 AM
I find acceptance a difficult concept to acheive.I know that when I accept life on life's terms things go better, but sometimes I choose self will over acceptance. Every time I do this, things get all messed up. How do I come to realize that there are no mistakes in God's world? Is this something that I must learn through mistakes I make? Or is it just a matter of faith? I would appreciate any suggestions on this matter, as I am trying very hard to get this acceptance. I do accept that I am an alcoholic, and that my life was unmanageable. By the way, my name is Tommy, and I am drunk with hope....Thank you for letting me share.......
Member: Craig B.
Location: Tx.
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 10:27:01 AM
For me it took getting burned by that hot stove more than once to realize that I didnt know what was best for me and that God did, and learning to allow God to do his work in my life was not easy,I know when God is in charge no matter what my present situation it will turn out o.k.as long as I have faith and believe in him.
Member: gary
Location: there is help but not here
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 10:37:04 AM
Tommy B.,
Acceptance,like true humility is often very misunderstood. If by some chance come to believe their are NO MISTAKES in gods world,you probably have crossed over the line and have become one of the lemmings of a fellowship that has totally gotten so full of ITSELF,that they have all but banned THE PROGRAM.
As far as GODS earthly world,did you just wake up boy!? It has gone to hell in a hand basket.Liars ,cheaters,adulterers and that,s just the A.A.ers.We are told almost daily that these whack job towelhead assholes are sitting back,waiting,just waiting til they feel in the mood,and we can expect the next attack to make 9/11 look like a tea party.This comes from our secretary of defense,so I gotta put a thought that this guys got a clue. TOMMY,you,re new so I,m gonna spare ya. But do not listen or buy into the LIE STRAIGHT FROM HELL-----THAT ALL IS AS GOD WANTS IT,IN HIS WORLD. ALL THESE JACKASSES AND THEIR THIS TO SHALL PASS SHIT, GIMME A CALL WHEN YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU YOU GOT TERMINAL CANCER OR YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER OR NOW A DAYS MAYBE HIS CLASSMATE WILL PUT A BULLET IN LITTLESUSIES BRAIN---THENCALL ME AND I,LL TELL YOU "AH IT,S OK ,IT,S GODS WILL, I KNOW YOU FEEL BAD BUT IT,LL PASS READ PAGE 449!!!!!!!!!!! AND IF YOU DON,T HAVE THE ANGER OR RAGE TO KILL ME I,LL THINK YOU LESS THAN HUMAN. Tommy ,stay away from anyone who when you ask how this a. a. works and they say either"IT WORKS FINE" or "IT WORKS O D A A T " Run for the hills. OH YEAH THAT ACCEPTANCE THING, things are how they are,good,bad or indifferent whether you accept em or not.LAST BIG TIP: you do NOT have to LIKE it, YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT!!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED A VOICE, AND IT CAN BE LOUD AND ABRASIVE.EVEN ANGRY! BUT CHANNEL IT TO A POSITIVE END. DON,T LET THE LEMMINGS TELL YOU "MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT" NOT ONLY IS THAT A CROCK OF SHIT! I,VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND OUT JUST WHAT IT IS THEY MAKE.....NO ONE CAN TELL ME AND THAT,S CAUSE THEY DON,T MAKE A f------THING. MOST JUST TAKE UP SPACE, RUN THEIR MOUTHS AND KILL THEMSELVES WITH CAFFIENE, NICOTINE AND SUGAR INSTEAD OF ALCOHOL> SOUNDS LIKE LIVING EH KID??????
Member: gary
Location: there is help but not here
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 11:26:39 AM
Tommy B.,
Acceptance,like true humility is often very misunderstood. If by some chance come to believe their are NO MISTAKES in gods world,you probably have crossed over the line and have become one of the lemmings of a fellowship that has totally gotten so full of ITSELF,that they have all but banned THE PROGRAM.
As far as GODS earthly world,did you just wake up boy!? It has gone to hell in a hand basket.Liars ,cheaters,adulterers and that,s just the A.A.ers.We are told almost daily that these whack job towelhead assholes are sitting back,waiting,just waiting til they feel in the mood,and we can expect the next attack to make 9/11 look like a tea party.This comes from our secretary of defense,so I gotta put a thought that this guys got a clue. TOMMY,you,re new so I,m gonna spare ya. But do not listen or buy into the LIE STRAIGHT FROM HELL-----THAT ALL IS AS GOD WANTS IT,IN HIS WORLD. ALL THESE JACKASSES AND THEIR THIS TO SHALL PASS SHIT, GIMME A CALL WHEN YOUR DOCTOR TELLS YOU YOU GOT TERMINAL CANCER OR YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN KILLED BY A DRUNK DRIVER OR NOW A DAYS MAYBE HIS CLASSMATE WILL PUT A BULLET IN LITTLESUSIES BRAIN---THENCALL ME AND I,LL TELL YOU "AH IT,S OK ,IT,S GODS WILL, I KNOW YOU FEEL BAD BUT IT,LL PASS READ PAGE 449!!!!!!!!!!! AND IF YOU DON,T HAVE THE ANGER OR RAGE TO KILL ME I,LL THINK YOU LESS THAN HUMAN. Tommy ,stay away from anyone who when you ask how this a. a. works and they say either"IT WORKS FINE" or "IT WORKS O D A A T " Run for the hills. OH YEAH THAT ACCEPTANCE THING, things are how they are,good,bad or indifferent whether you accept em or not.LAST BIG TIP: you do NOT have to LIKE it, YOU JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT IT!!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED A VOICE, AND IT CAN BE LOUD AND ABRASIVE.EVEN ANGRY! BUT CHANNEL IT TO A POSITIVE END. DON,T LET THE LEMMINGS TELL YOU "MEETING MAKERS MAKE IT" NOT ONLY IS THAT A CROCK OF SHIT! I,VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND OUT JUST WHAT IT IS THEY MAKE.....NO ONE CAN TELL ME AND THAT,S CAUSE THEY DON,T MAKE A f------THING. MOST JUST TAKE UP SPACE, RUN THEIR MOUTHS AND KILL THEMSELVES WITH CAFFIENE, NICOTINE AND SUGAR INSTEAD OF ALCOHOL> SOUNDS LIKE LIVING EH KID??????
Member: Michele J
Location: Dallas
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 12:15:28 PM
Gary, sounds like you really got burned by someone. Please don't judge thousands of people by a bad experience you had either at a meeting or somewhere else. Organized religion is that way for me. I had some really bad things happen within organized religion but there are lots of people who are cool and loving. Keep coming back and know that you are accepted here. Blessings, Michele
Member: gary
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 12:30:01 PM
THANK YOU MICHELLE i do believe in fact i know there are a few cool people in both religion and a a .but i think you,ll agree most are real ass-----
Member: Dennis
Location: N. Calif.
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 1:24:24 PM
Hi Gary,
Do you work for Jack Trimpey and "Rational Recovery"?
Member: RICHARD M
Location: SARASOTA , FLORIDA
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 2:02:01 PM
hello , my name is richard , richard m... i am an alcoholic... yes acceptance is so easy , reading page 417 ...keeps it in prospective and the serenity prayer balances it so well....my sobriety date is 12/28/85..one day at a time...............and please for your sake .......KEEP IT SIMPLE....... when we follow the program ...it works .....but does not guarentee that u or i will be come a super star....i read some where ( i think it was @ belief net .com)...the only place "success "comes before " work " , is in the dictionary.....And as u know by now...u must do it your self..so good luck.......cya in a meeting....hugs and love ...richard. richard m.
Member: S.P.
Location: 4th dimension
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 2:07:20 PM
acceptance....
a belief that says to me....you are God's child, I now have an identity that will never change. He loves me, will give me the power to get through ANYTHING,He is the Father,the one who I have become dependent on for my sobriety.Acceptance has nothing to do with being o.k. with world affairs, our sick and evil society, or even with my own needs. It has been my experience...acceptance of the above was there for me when I "surrendered" to the truth, that I was "power-less" and needed help from a power greater than myself. A reconciliation with God began through my acceptance of these truths. I AM GOD'S ALCOHOLIC CHILD. I found Him in and through a bottom that I hope to never go through again. AA is where I go to share with others that as His child I never have to drink again, even if I want to..... How do we get acceptance ? You have to ask for it.....
S.P.S.
Member: Lionel -C
Location: campbelltown Australia
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 2:29:27 PM
Good Morning Tommy everyone my names lionel I am an alcoholic.
I CAME + I CAME TO + I CAME TO BELIEVE.
Have a great 24 Need U all
Member: Gage
Location: Louisiana
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 3:44:51 PM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic and lemming. Hi, Tommy. I don't know the answer to your question because I'm not you. I don't know what hardships you bear or what's important to you, and all I have to bear on the subject is my own experience.
About 17 years ago, I spent 3 long and arduous years dry in AA, before picking up drinking again. I didn't like AA, I didn't like the people or the program, and I spent those years pissing and moaning about every damn thing under the sun. A natural born cynic, I knew what was wrong with everyone but me, I knew that everyone was a hypocrit but me, and I was singularly ignored, just as I should have been.
In my heart, I left AA long before I actually stopped going to meetings. That had to do with being a coward, as did the fact that whenever I was in trouble in that first year or so after I resumed drinking, I called someone in AA to get me out of a jam. Not everyone would come, but somebody usually did. One of those people said to me once, "Don't use up these people, because these are the last people in the world who will fuck with a real drunk." According to my own experience, it's true. After a drunk uses up all the people who love him, all the charities that will try to help him, and all the good-hearted bartenders that will let him slide, if he can find anyone in the world that can stand the sight of him, it will be in AA. He may find people in AA who wouldn't piss on him if he were on fire, but if he finds ANYBODY, ANYWHERE that is willing to give him the time of day, it will be in AA.
I came back to AA, Tommy, because I knew I was dying, and what's more, I was taking an innocent young life, that of my son, down the tubes with me. I couldn't bear the thought of that. So, here's what I decided: I would pick up that book of ours, and without prejudice, I would try to do what it says to do. If I could get some help from my fellows (which I have), I would accept it. And I would try to grow a spine, be a decent father, and just, in general, try to make peace with my life. I'm not perfect, and neither is the rest of the world.
If I don't take a drink before February 25, I will have not had a drink in one year. That's not a long time, I know. But it's where I am today, and I like it. Thanks.
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 3:58:37 PM
Hey Tommy-I believe there are no mistakes in God's world. How could the One who created me steer me wrong? All of the pain and suffering I endured was to get me to be the person I am today. At first I did not believe that God could help me with my alcoholism but after realizing that nothing,and I mean nothing,that I tried worked, I was left with no other option but to take up a shred of hope and trust in God. He has not failed me yet. Things do not always happen when I want or how I want but when I step back and remind myself of who is running the show, acceptance comes easier to me. Gary,I did not waste my time reading your post but I am sure it is filled with self-hatred. By the way,shouldn't you be on a rooftop somewhere by now?
Member: gary
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 4:26:57 PM
gage sure a drunk willgive another drunk the time of day.but it will probably be wrong
Member: Barry C
Location: Northeast
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 6:03:13 PM
Acceptance is easy for me. When life is going good and everybody does things my way. I can accept things. But then I wake up, and in real life not everyone does what I think they should be doing or the way I think it should be done. That is when it becomes difficult to accept. Grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change, really the only thing I can change is my lousy attitude. Yes sometimes life happens, it isn't always pleasant or easy, but for me, whatever happpens will only become worse if I drink or drug. I can run around and yell and scream, making everyone around me miserable, afraid or crazy like me. Or I can ask my Higher Power to help me accept my terrible fate, whatever that may be for today. I do not have to like what I have to deal with in life, but today I have a life, and it usually is pretty good. If I don't drink, I have a chance of getting through the next 24 hours, and maybe the next day the sun will shine.
Member: Lonny L.
Location: Edmonton, Ab, Canada
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 6:13:15 PM
Hi, my name is Lonny L. and I am an alcoholic. Acceptance is a difficult task but one that must be made. I'm having a difficult time right now as I am in Edmonton, Ab, Canada and my girlfriend is in Calgary, Ab, Canada. I am living in a recovery house with 30 other men and I am feeling lonely right now. She is doing work on herself down there and I am working on recovery here. I'm missing her dearly but felt this was the best way for us to do this if there is a chance. Now I am doubting that as she is having a tough time down there and I was the one who suggests she go down there. I will be in Calgary shortly to live in another recovery house until I feel safe in being "out there" again in my own place. I do my best to say to myself, "if it was meant to be, it will happen!" But there are still a lot of issues I feel she needs to address before we can make a go of it as a couple. Yet at the same time, I do not want to tell her how she needs to do her own recovery. I know I need to work on myself first but I still want her by my side. This is frustrating as there are so many things of me I want to share with her. HELP!
Member: Lori R.
Location: Canada
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 6:23:58 PM
Hi, I'm Lori and I'm an alcoholic. I've been reading the various postings the last few days because I am struck working evenings and have had little contact at f2f meetngs lately.
Acceptance, I think is still one of the hardest things I have to do on a daily basis. I mean accepting where I am right now and Staying in the day. My minds likes to wonder into the past and leap into the future all the time. I know I am a forunate person. I came into AA 8 years ago and spent the first 3 years going in and out of the Rooms.I finally managed to stay sober(with alot of help) the past 5+ years. In that time I am only really sure of one thing, all that I can really count on for sure is what's happening at this very moment and nothing else. Sure I have a Higher Power, but I discovered WHAT I think should be his will for me, isn't always so. I suppose I struggle with this mainly because it's hard when I don't get what I want (boo-hoo). That self-centered alcoholic threatens my serenity all the time. So I just carry on, don't drink, try not to think and hope it gets better(the acceptance thing I mean) Today my life is okay and I am grateful to be sober. Lori
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:29:11 PM
Adam, alcoholic.
As a selfish, self-centered alcoholic, I tend to have the attitude of "'Where's mine?' 'Why me?' and 'F--k you!'" Drunk or sober, it's rotten to live like that...mostly because cleaning up the aftermath is hell. For me, practicing acceptance has involved keeping my side of the street clean. Step 10 and regular contact with a sponsor has really been helpful to me in this respect. When I keep track of how I am behaving in sobriety and process that with someone with the kind of sobriety that I respect, I eventually realize that what I have in my life today I am grateful for...that what comes around goes around...and that restraint of tongue and pen really does pay off. Under those conditions, I find I can live in peace inside my own skin sober.
Thanks. Grateful to be here and sober.
Member: john v
Location: british columbia canada
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:29:56 PM
Acceptance is a dimensional thing it goes deeper than we originally think. I could accept the fact that i was an alcoholic but it took me along time to accept the fact that my alcoholism had caused me to analyse this world and its reality in a faulty manner in virtually every walk of life especially the spiritual. Now that I have accepted that fact I can cut loose the past and relive my life through at least spbering eyes. The big thi9ngs are spiritual and the little things are the material. It really took a long time for me to realize how sick Ii was and what that sickness had done to my perception of myself and others and even life itself. Thank god for those sober befoere me I stand on the shoulder of giants albeit giant drunks they led the way and I merely have to follow the guide lines set out in the steps and traditions to stay straight and sober. Hooray for the twelve steps and hats off to those who originated and shared them. !!!!!!
Member: GARESEARCH INC.
Location: MORTON INDIANA
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:33:44 PM
WELL TIME HAS COME TO BID YOU ALL GOODBYE. IT HAS BEEN MY PLEASURE PUSHING YOUR BUTTONS. YOUR REACTIONS WERE QUITE WHAT WE HAD THOUGHT THEY WOULD BE,MIXED. THE ONE WE WOULD WATCH OUT FOR IS STEVE R. HIS REACTIONS WERE TYPICAL OF ONE PRONE TO ACTS OF VIOLENCE. THE REST WERE AS WE SAID, JUST WHAT WE HAD HOPED FOR AS WELL AS EXPECTED. THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR TIME, WE HOPE WE HAVE NOT DRIVEN ANY OF YOU BACK TO ALCOHOL.
Member: john V
Location: bc canada
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:35:46 PM
this is my first on line meeting and at least you don't have to listen out loud to most of the stuff you don't likeLOLOLOL keep praying and keep coming back we'ere here for each other and Gary get to know a goosd sponsor just look around!!!
Member: john v
Location: bc canada
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 7:39:47 PM
well they were a research outfit I thought it all soundeed a little phoney that's the net user beware!!!!
Member: James D
Location: Chicago IL USA
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 8:27:54 PM
I am here to say that I enjoyed ALL the comments. I do feel that some people are way too judgmental in AA. But its for the better, and people like gary have a place. But, the past 13 years of recovery have been the best years in my life!!! Thank god I gave up alcohol and turned myself over to aa.
Member: Bonny G.
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 8:50:19 PM
Hi everyone, Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic. Acceptance is easy for those of us who are at home behind a computer typing, my coffee cup and cat are here with me. But I have to ask myself if I can accept life on life's terms? Do I always like things my way? I am easy to please if I can have anything I want, but today I have to remember that I am not in charge of the world or the people in it. I have a higher power today, I choose God. I don't have to like the outcome of the world problems or the people in it, I don't see the big picture of things. But I was taught to accept only what I have control over. Today, that's me and the cat, and sometimes he has more control than me. I can accept that some people are skeptical about AA and the Big Book, the 12&12, and even people in the program. I don't have to like everyone in the program of AA, but when I point the finger at one of them, I have three more pointing at me. Can I accept my actions today? I have to use the 10th step on what I did today not someone else. Tradition 12 tells me to place principles before personalities. If I can accept another human being as who they are, I am okay. My worst nightmare was at an AA meeting, but I can't blame AA as a whole for the actions of another person. I'm sober today because I can accept the fact that a drink today will lead me back to a life I don't ever want to be in again. I'm grateful for the people who made it possible for me to get sober and learn to live this way of life. I accept my life today, I have a home, a job and friends all over the world because of this program. Thank you all for being on line for a lonely woman on a Sunday night. I'm learning to adjust to a new schedule at work, daylight hours for the first time in years.
Member: Margie
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 9:04:48 PM
Dearest Gary,
If you hate AA so much why do you repeatedly attend to this sight? Practice what you preach, brudder, be helpful, not hurtful!
YOu are helpign me though, I guess I have to learn to accept all kinds in and out of sobriety. Thanks for your participation, but please stop knocking this program.
The most important person in AA is the newcomer, seeking hope and acceptance. With all of your BS your are going to scare them all away. Is that what you really want. If you really need to share all of your angst and disgust, start your own webpage. Stop clogging ours up with your negativity, we have enough to deal with in our own heads!!!
God bless all, especially you Gary, Margie
Member: Margie
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 9:04:58 PM
Dearest Gary,
If you hate AA so much why do you repeatedly attend to this sight? Practice what you preach, brudder, be helpful, not hurtful!
YOu are helpign me though, I guess I have to learn to accept all kinds in and out of sobriety. Thanks for your participation, but please stop knocking this program.
The most important person in AA is the newcomer, seeking hope and acceptance. With all of your BS your are going to scare them all away. Is that what you really want. If you really need to share all of your angst and disgust, start your own webpage. Stop clogging ours up with your negativity, we have enough to deal with in our own heads!!!
God bless all, especially you Gary, Margie
Member: Margie
Location:
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 9:08:48 PM
Ahh Gary I see you do have your own webpage!!
Member: Shan J
Location: New England
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 9:53:40 PM
After 17 years of trying to stay sober, I still struggle with acceptance. I have never been able to get more than 2 years of sobriety. I continue to give in to my belief that I will be able to control my drinking. Even though I have seen good things happen in my life, I cannot seem to truly trust that my Higher Power will get me through whatever comes along. God forgive me. I have one week of sobriety today. Pray for me.
Member: HELP
Location: on the way
Date: 2/17/2002
Time: 11:00:21 PM
Gary,If you would take the time to read and understand the book Alcoholics Anonymous,and practice these principles(the steps),you may be able to answer these questions yourself.
Member: The Voice of Experience
Location:
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 12:40:23 AM
Gary, if you don't get that chip off your shoulder you're going to get drunk.
Member: Roxanne B
Location: Kansas
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 12:53:01 AM
I am not sure what to say, I have only been sober for one day and I'm not sure I can accept acceptance. I know that if i don't accept my alcoholism that it will kill me but all I know how to do is be selfish and think that I can control everything. I have a hard time dealing with a Higher Power because I don't want to accept that I don't have control. How am I suppose to admit that I am powerless over alcohol if being powerless is the one think I fear most in this world. I have been in and out of this program for the past two and half years and I am young. I am lost and scared. I know I am the only one that can help me but I ask that someone prays for me. I am praying for you.
Member: MarkW
Location: indiana
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 1:51:12 AM
Member: mARK W.
Location: iND.
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 2:07:50 AM
Member: . Mark W.
Location: iND.
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 2:25:23 AM
HI EVERY ONE IAM JUST NOW FOR THE 111THTIME WORKING ON ACCEPTING ICANT NEVER TAKE THAT FIRST DRANK!IM A CRONICALCOHOLIC WHO HAS CIRROSIS OF THE LIVER ISPENT 2YR. IN HOSPITALS AND NURSING HOMES MY BELLY WAS AWATERMELLON 2YRS AGO I STAYED SOBER THROUGH AA 4AYR.AND A HALF NOW I WAS BACK TO LITERS A DAY BROOK MY LEG BAD THEN ANOTHER DRUNK ANDECT.ECTECTECT I HAVE NO LEG I AM STILL DRANKING AND MY SERGEN WILL NOT CUT MORE OFF ME TILL I GET BACK IN THE PROGRAM IHAVE NOT HAD A DRANK IN 3 DAYS IPRAY EVERY DAY MANYTIMES TO HELP ME AND IT GET EASIER ITS VERY HARD TO GET TO A MEETING.
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 2:48:01 AM
When I first came into the program I thought it was all about taking the blame for everything. "I" had to make amends. "I" had to tolerate everyone. "I" had to let people walk all over me and there was nothing I could do about it because I had to be this "perfect" person. Thank God this turned out to be untrue. I don't have to like everyone and I definetly do not have to be anyone's doormat. Gary, I hope you really are gone for good because I do hate you very much. You are a violent, hate-filled person who is so unhappy with himself he must attempt to tear others down in order to make himself feel better. But of course you will be back...you need the attention even if it is negative. I don't know why I'm even writing this because you will just feed off of it like the leech that you are. I picture you as a cockroach who scatters when the light switch is turned on...when the light of truth is shone on you,you run and hide. Have fun drinking. As for me,I will continue to receive the many blessings of sobriety that come every day. Shan and Roxanne (and everyone else)of course my prayers are with you. The best advice I can give is to surround yourself with supportive understanding people. The less time spent alone the better. I hope you will find people like the ones that I have,who love me for me and accept me the way I am (with all my imperfections) and who have opened my eyes to how awesome this world can be (once my alcoholic fog cleared...took a few months) To everyone-I admit that I am far from perfect and I am very firm in what I believe. Although I feel I have kept my cool,if anything I said caused any uncomfortable feelings,I apologize. I have been everyone's whipping boy for far too long and it feels good to not have to tolerate it anymore,especially from someone who was trying to be helped but obviously didn't want it. As I have said before,the truth is I need you. Doing this alone doesn't work. I have proven that over and over again. When I replace "I" with "we", it does work. Thank you.
Member: Ray C
Location: Haines ,Alaska
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 5:26:09 AM
Hi,I'm Ray an alcoholic.As far as acceptance goes I tend to agree with barry who used the serenity prayer as an example.Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change which are other people and there thinking.Like most people I'm impressed by people that agree with me and have little troble accepting them .On the other hand when it comes to thoses that choose to travel a different path,wether they be ex's,politicians or in my eyes just assholes in general,I have to remember that I can't do a thing to change them.The only attitude I can change is my own.Like you Tommy I find myself pissed off and in a funk when I expect others to live up to my expectations.I've found this true of people both in an outside of AA.I got a full time job taking my own inventory and keeping my own attitude pleasing to me...For some of you newer people I was told when someone offers you advice,look and see what that advice has done for them.If you like what you see and want what they have take it,on the other hand if there miserable,snivelers you might want to just consider the source and let it pass.It's been my experience that this program works and you'll find just what you'r looking for in AA.Easy does it,keep coming back,it works if you work it.
Member: Babette R
Location: Jerusalem
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 7:14:32 AM
I'm Babette I'm alcoholic. I'm haviing trouble with acceptance today. Yesterday I lost custody of my 3 children due to my last relapse. What I've been hearing is this is time to work on myself, but I don't like it, I want my kids! But God is saying not now and I have to bend my will to that. It is hard. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Jen B
Location: SoberTown,USA
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 7:49:22 AM
Gary, Whether you want sobriety or not, it is no accident you visit our site. Thank you for teaching me why I choose to apply the 12 steps into my life on a daily basis. May you know Peace.
Member: Margie
Location: L.I.
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 7:53:03 AM
Hi All, To Mark,Roxanne and Babette, I am so glad you both came here for help, and to share honestly! It sounds like the most important thing you all have to accept right now is Step 1. You are powerless over alcohol, and your life has become unmanageable! Please go to a meeting as often as you can! Already you are using the HOW of the program, you were honest, are you totally willing and open-minded to take all of the suggestions? Get a Big Book, it is all in there. Get phone numbers, emails, anything to stay connected to the people in the rooms, ones that work the steps. The Big Book is a textbook on how to stay sober, not just putting down the drink, but to be happy, and free. Non of you mentioned if you have done your steps, I highly recommend it!! There you will find the answers to acceptence. If you are totally honest, and do an honest 4th & 5th step, you will see that acceptence is in how we perceive things. It is looking at our selves, not others, and how we can change. We can;t change others, we can only pray for them.
I will be praying for all of you! You all can do this! It takes commitment and honesty! Don't let this disease tell you you can have another. You don't need to. The answers are all in the Big Book. Read the first 164pgs. everyday if you have to. Read it until you understand it. If you can get to a meeting, go to Big Book ones, get a sponsor and use them. Get one who will say you need to do your steps immediately! The first AAers made sure that the newcomer did his steps the minute he accepted defeat. It doesn't matter if you have the perfect 4th step, just get all of that muck out of you so you can open your spirit to God and be of service to others! Yes, acceptance of the 1st step is very important, the inly one we need to do 100%, but all the others must be followed immediately or there is no true sobriety, no change of character or morals. It is an inside job, and no one can do it for you, only you and God, and he will help you only if you are truly willing to accept and to do his will!! Open yourself up, get out there, get a sponsor, do your steps, and be a happy, and productive member of society. You are worth it!!!!
Hope to hear from you all soon. Much love and blessigns, Margie
Member: Jim K.
Location: PA
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 8:36:16 AM
Hello All. I'm Jim and I am making my first public admission of being an alcoholic. I have just begun my sixth day of sobriety but am entering into my sixth year of deeper spirituality. Being in touch with God and understanding who God is and what God wants is the key for me to acceptance. So many people seem to feel that acceptance = surrender = no free will = God as some master puppeteer = spiritual people are lemmings. This isn't true. Just because the right choice in a situation is what God would want us to do doesn't make the choice the easiest choice. If I might conclude with a humble suggestion to Tommy. Get a prayer or meditative life started. Through those tools you will get to know God because God speaks to us not through the clap of thunder but rather in the gentlest breeze. Prior to a week ago I refused to accept that my drinking was a problem. But it is in that it is keeping me from growing as an adult. Thanks for listening. A meditation that might help those struggling with acceptance is one I use every night before bed. "I thank you Lord for this day with all of it's vitories which are all yours and for all of the failures which are all mine." God Bless!
Member: ANONYMOUS1/4
Location: NE
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 9:39:29 AM
I'm not sure I understand people's use of the serenity prayer."God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change","Which are other people"? If you can't HELP people to CHANGE,and their thinking,than where does the word HELP and HELPFUL in Working with others BB Pg 89 fit into the working the program?...HELP;DEF.To give or provide what is NECCESSARY to ACCOMPLISH a task or satisfy a need.Contribute strength or means to.To save; rescue,succor.To make easier or less diffult,to be useful,to relieve someone in need,sickness,pain,distress. To assist in effort.To give aid. How can a person HELP"that is if the person wants help" without having CHANGE as a motive for helping? If I or we can't HELP people to CHANGE why does this site exist?Why does the fellowship,meetings continue to exist if "we" can't HELP others to change? Why did they bother to write the BB,12&12 etc,etc,etc? I know that the writer and those that shared their es&h in the BB,12&12 etc,HELPED me to CHANGE a lot of thoughts, attitudes,ideas,character flaws,defects,about alcoholism,living, life. Isn't that what "we"are suppose to be doing ,HELP others to CHANGE by SHOWING other alcoholics precisely how we have RECOVERED by the BB,12&12? How many here have CHANGED anything without the HELP of the BB,12&12 or people?
Member: Bruce N
Location: houston
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:07:43 AM
Hi, i'm Bruce an alcholic.....Babette, when your on an airplane the flight attendant will instruct you that in case of an emergency the oxygen masks will fall from above. If you have small children with you you should first apply the oxygen to YOURSELF so you will better be able to take care of your kids. It was very neccesary for me to get healthy so I could then provide a healthy environment for them. I know it's ttttough and will be praying for your situation. God Bless
Member: James T
Location: Glasgow (Scotland)
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:28:38 AM
It has always amazed me as an alcoholic why i find it so difficult to accept when for such a long time i was prepared to accept the totally unacceptable. Wet beds, losing our families, losing our jobs and ultimately our self respect was us accepting the unacceptable. For me to finally accept what i am today has brought me an untold sense of self respect and self worth. I dont know what i did to achieve this other than to work our programme and stay away from the first drink. I wish anyone who is struggling all the best.Glad to be here and very grateful to be sober,(1 year sober on the 27 feb)one day at a time.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:49:55 AM
Bill here alcoholic from Arizona. There are several dictionary meanings to the word acceptance. One is believing something to be true and another is approval of a given thing or situation. Two entirely different things.
I am an alcoholic and not too tickled about that. But I believed it to be true so I did something about it before I died. Later on in life I developed cancer. Now I really am not too tickled about that. But I believed it to be true so I did something about it before I died.
Doctor Paul's story is just that. Another story. Another alcoholics opinion. He is neither right nor wrong. His important message is not on page 449. It comes later in his story. So read from page 450 to the end of the story. It is the classic example of What it was like, what happened, and what it is like now. All one has to do is take Max out of the story and put in whatever or whoever is bothering you. The answer is there.
My greatest gift from God was my free will to do "good" or bad" whatever good and bad are. My greatest gift from Alcoholics Anonymous was my freedom of choice. I can choose to drink or not to drink. As I enhanced my spiritual growth I have come to believe that "Good" is God made and "Bad" is man made. So indeed nothing happens in Gog's world by mistake. :)
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: MaggieMae
Location: Central NY
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:57:21 AM
Yes, folks, Gary is "loud" and boisterous and sometimes insulting. But if disagreement cau ses you to scream "Rational Recovery"! Traitor! I hate him! You can't be too terribly secure in your own recovery or in your decision to let the program run your lives. Bill and Bob were not gods, and they are not here so that we can ask them their opinions about things today, so there will always be disagreement about some aspects of the program. You can love Gary or hate him or ignore him. I suspect that ignoring him would demonsrate both more maturity and a closer adherence to the program as most of you espouse it than letting his admittedly abrasive personality drive you to hatred. And "accusing" him of being involved Rational Recovery does nothing but betray fear of ideas other than your own. Finally, saying "have fun drinking," shows that even "good Program People" like yourselves are capable of pettomess amd selfishness. If you wish death on someone because they irritate you, you don't have too much of a program yourself. Oh, and by the way -- I disagree with a great deal of the program, and I have seven years of sobriety. But I guess that will just make some of you say that it's only a matter of time until I drink, because I am capable of independent thought and dissent.
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 11:03:10 AM
To John V
John.. I just read your post. Please email me, or come into the Winners Circle.
It has been too long since we met in Penatang.
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: Mark C
Location: NTC
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 12:35:31 PM
Hi, Mark here -- alki from NYC.
Acceptance is useful for me. I accept that I cannot drink alcohol. And I accept that the world is the way I find it. I may not like it that way, and as long as I am sober, I can probably find ways to make my world a little bit more to my liking. But if any changes are made, it won't be by means of my will power. My thoughts have no effect on the outside world. Only action brings results. And, of course, the number one action for me, in this context, is not drinking.
I had a sponser who reminded me that I was powerless over all kinds of things, but I did have the power to decide whether or not I took the first drink. That one little act -- not drinking-- is what everything else hinges upon.
In addition to this fine group of people, I also hang out with a bunch of sober folk over at www.unhooked.com. They have a saying: Don't Drink No Matter What. I guess that's another way of saying: Accept everything, except the first drink.
Your Sober Pal, Mark C.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 12:49:05 PM
Tommy thanks for the topic. In my drinking days I used to believe I could will things to be my way. My disease reinforced this belief, as I was able to fake my way through life and continue to drink. I was a hollow, soulless creature with no hope. Every day I only saw the negative aspects of people, world events, and myself. I wanted to die, but was too cowardly for suicide. King alcohol finally pounded me into submission, my ego was smashed as all of my “look good” evaporated in my final days of drinking. When I entered the rooms of AA again, I had finally discovered humility. Today I pray every morning, for “Relief from the Bondage of Self” This new perspective allows me to be non-judgmental and the steps provide me with tools for daily maintenance of humility, when my ego tries to take charge again. I now plan for the future, but the truth of the present frequently causes changes to my “plan”. My suffering is directly related to how hard I hold on to my plans, when a change is required or unavoidable. Finally for me a huge aspect of acceptance is in my gratitude for everything I have, all of which is a gift from God.
Member: Jim C
Location: CA
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 1:26:18 PM
Jim here an alcoholic.
Mark W., it is hard to convey how important the concept of 'surrender' is to getting sober, but I could not be willing to go to 'any' lengths to stay sober until I could surrender to the fact that my unaided will was not sufficient to keep me sober.
Oddly, the only thing it takes to make it is the "desire to stay sober." There is a difference between desire and will. If you have the desire to stay sober, and can let go of the fight, then you have a chance to make it in the program, no matter how far you've fallen. I have seen many miracles, my life included, that seemed hopeless at first.
You wouldn't do surgery on yourself, so don't try to get sober by yourself either. Go through the spin dry in a treatment center, if you must, and then go to meetings, get a sponsor, and do your steps for you, because you deserve a chance to live. As they say, 'to thine own self be true.'
I tried to sober up for many reasons and could not do so until I let go of the fight for good. Then I was willing, this time to do it for myself. Not for my girlfriend, family, courts, or shrinks. To do it and keep it, on a daily basis, I have had to want it for myself.
I have been through many difficult times in life sober since I found this solution, and each time my life has been rewarded with a bit more peace and serenity. While the program doesn't work for all, it does work for those who truly want sobriety enough to do the work, a day at a time.
Sober blessings to all, keep coming back!
Member: R.F.C.
Location: PENNA.
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 1:32:15 PM
Dear Maggie Mae,
I have been coming here on and off for about 2 weeks now and just reading the comments. This was at the suggestion of my sponsor,who will answer to me when he returns from his trip,this weekend. Having been a sober member of A.A. since August 1978,I am proud to not only have read your response,but to believe along the very same lines. That A.A. is still in existence is without a doubt only through GODS SWEET GRACE. The manner in which the fellowship operates,is so out of the "spirit" in which it was founded. The poison that was thrown around this site, masked behind our beloved BIG BOOK, GOD, the 12steps and the like,is sad to say what our fellowship is made up of and reduced to. Prior to the posting that the "GARESEARCH" was behind all "Garys rantings", no one could tell if that was a legitimate unconscious cry for help from a very sick alcoholic or not,and the people here responded as do the people,sad to say,in my home group,as well as in general in todays A.A. respond for the most.With more hate they deny,while trying to cover it with words of love and program. It is quite the same as many in the world of religion.They use THE BIBLE to condone their selfrighteous behaviors,right down to the killing of people who disagree.All in the name of GOD,and to think what was done here and in the rooms daily,is any different only further exacerbates a sad state of affairs in our A.A. . Your courage Margie,to speak out when you are certain to be lambasted in an ocean of un- bridled rage & denial, is to be highly respected If it is any comfort to you Margie,you can rest certain you are not wrong, nor do you stand alone. GOD BLESS you for your indepdence along with your courage to speak an unpopular truth. In the spirit of the truth and the fellow- ship,I extend my hand to you in being a person of character. Sincerely, R.F.C.
Member: Solution
Location: MI
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 3:18:38 PM
Maggie-Solution...you talk with him and if you can sift your way through the vulgarities and death imagry to find an actual human being underneath,let us know.
Member: ninetailedfox
Location: georgia u.s.a.
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 3:53:30 PM
hi! everyone, alcoholic from georgia here. my refusal to accept the fact that I had the disease of alcoholism led me to prison. chaingangs, solitary confinement, hospitals and nut wards. when I let go absolutely and turned my will and life over to the care of god as I understand him I was led to a wonderful woman who I married, a wonderful son who is now in a.a. and 10 weeks sober. seven years ago I was homeless and hopeless, today I have a home and love and many a.a. friends that I love dearly. easy does it everyone dreams do come true.
thanks for letting me share, hugs to all!
Member: retired
Location: my lazyboy
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 4:41:23 PM
maggie and rfc made me realize my wrong.solution from mi missed both your well made points.there is only a lack of solution on their part and it is a shame on them for it.
Member: mike s.
Location: new bern nc
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 5:04:37 PM
hi mike - alcoholic acceptance is one of the best things i have learned in aa it does not mean i have to like it i am still working on acceptance with serenity like the prayer says if i accept something just for now just for today and stop using energy to fight it things work out and maybe on another day i can do something about it circumstances change if there is one constant in this world it is change and learning to accept it thanks
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 6:35:51 PM
Acceptance of the fact that I am an alcoholic was the first hurdle for me. To lie to myself about what did and did not constitute alcoholic behavior was easy. To really look at what I was doing and where I was going was next too impossible. I still try to lie to myself. The lie gets harder to believe when I place my faith in God, I kmow he led me to sobriety in the first place, and life can be better.
Just so long as I do not accept the first drink.
drystep@aol.com
Member: tj
Location: my lazyboy
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 6:54:02 PM
gary is a homo
ha ha ha ha
Member: tj
Location: my lazyboy
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 6:54:12 PM
gary is a homo
ha ha ha ha
Member: tj
Location: my lazyboy
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 6:54:19 PM
gary is a homo
ha ha ha ha
Member: oldtimer
Location: rocker
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 7:21:44 PM
Iam old and have seen many come and go.Talk is cheap and too many cheapskates fill our halls today.Mr.,Mrs. or Mizz SOLUTION from MI.,you can wrap yourself in the comforts of that word,but it is your own words that show you for what you are. tj:if you read the post,gary never really existed,so the ha ha is on you silly. My rocker is older than me and still works just like a.a.,when I work it.
Member: John V
Location: Prince George
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 8:59:02 PM
acceptance is a state of mind,it merely means ascertaining the facts about something and standing back and say ing yep I broke the milk bottle and I'll have to clean it up or yep it's spring, some things we can change such as yep the car tire is flat I know I'll fix it!! I'm analcoholic yep I'll accept it I can't change it like a flat tire it's more along the line s of trying to put the milk and broken bottle back together,Impossoble thus the serenity prqayer is the greatest way to keep serene when confronted with things we must accept and can't change,For me being an alcoholic means that I can never drink normaslly and so I must accept the fact that I muist live sober, trying to do this myself leads me into all kinds of difficulties because of the nature of my illness cunning baffling powerful therefore it is one thing to accept the fact that yopu are acoholic and another to accept the fact that you need help with it specificallly A.A To me this is acceptance and sometimes I still want to recover without you guys and be a loner but I don't enjoy living as much and am much happier as part of the fellowship and there is my problem with acceptance the second part I no longer have a problem accepting the fact that I am an alcoholic. John V
Member: John V
Location: bc
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 9:04:11 PM
to the guy from Arizona I don't know what you're talking about I'm not sure where or what penatang is I'm not your man But stay sober anyway eh?
Member: no j
Location:
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 9:38:59 PM
is that tj or bj.ha ha.i think its bj.
Member: in my rocker with my long cocker
Location:
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:27:03 PM
i want a bj too and while youre at it rock my wanker ha ha ha
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:51:07 PM
I don't believe acceptance is a concept. I believe it is an action. Sometimes mine is insincere, but necessary. I know it's the right thing "to do", even when I don't "feel" like doing it. See, I believe I can act my way into right thinking, but I can't think my way into right acting. Maintenance of my spiritual self is the avenue for accessing or sensing the correct way to behave, even if I'm angry or resentful, hurt or harmed in some way. I once heard in a meeting: "pray for patience and acceptance and G~d will give you situations where you will have a chance to exercise them". They aren't achieved, they come and go. They aren't a destination, they are an occurrance and contingent on what I do, not what I think or feel. My job is to learn to live the gift of life I'm given right this moment, instead of wanting something else, like acceptance. Just as most all other states and conditions in life, it's fleeting. I'll usually get out of something what I put in, so if I'm accepting of people, places, things and situations, I usually feel accepted and endeared in return. G~d bless us, Bob
Member: david n
Location: central Vermont
Date: 2/18/2002
Time: 10:58:28 PM
Coincidence OR ??? its something that I just got home from a meeting where the topic was acceptance. I think the most difficult part for me is that since I put down the drink I've got to ACCEPT that the whole world does not revolve around me (i.e. a power greater than myself) simply, talk to a sponsor!!, work the steps!! Newcomers;give it Ninety Days, if you don't work it you can have your misery back first timer for this site. thanks everyone
Member: Paul Q.
Location: Seattle
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 12:21:37 AM
I'm a newcomer to this forum. Is it possible to change the topic in the middle of the week?
Member: Ernie S.
Location: Texas USA
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 12:38:06 AM
hey, ernie alcoholic. I agree with what someone said earlier about not knowing how sick I really was. Thinking back now I was quite insane and suicidal. The big Book explained how a guy like me could'nt tell reallity from fantasy. I started drinking as an adolecent and my thinking stayed adolecent after 30 years of drinking and vicious circles. But the grace of God and AA have helped me stay sober for over three years. before AA I had no clue what the serenity prayer meant. Accepting what I could'nt change? I thought that was giving up and real men never quit and never needed help. It's a miracle any alcoholic lives to tell the story. So today I have faith in God and I can accept his will. It has always been the best way. My best thinking nearly killed me except for the tiny spark of hope that helped me walk through the doors of AA. What I once thought was my biggest curse turned out later to be my greatest blessing. Freedom from the bondage of self. I would've never dreamed it was possible. And to any newcomers , expect a miracle, but it takes daily work, the best things in life take work but it's worth it. and just don't drink today. love to all from south texas.
Member: no j
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 1:37:32 AM
Below are liste the contents of tj's brain.
Member: BRAINSEARCH INC.
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 1:40:19 AM
where's the list?
Member: Jack B.
Location: Palo Alto,Pa
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 2:52:09 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. The Alpha Group in Reading Pa, always relates the 12 steps to the Serenity Prayer. God grant me the serenity to accept, steps 1-3. The courage, steps 4 thru 9. The wisdom, steps 10 thru 12. First and foremost, the most important think I know and accept about myself on a daily basis, is I am a real alcoholic, who cannot pick up that first drink. If I keep my life simple as dictated by our 12 twelve step program, I learn to live my way into sober thinking as opposed to thinking my way into sober living, and acceptance of like on God's terms becomes much easier. There are days, the best I can do is just not pick up that first drink. Another thing sobriety has taught me, is not to take myself so seriously. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Member: Kathy
Location: Northeast
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 3:16:44 AM
My name is Kathy - I'm an alcoholic.
PAUL Q. - SEATTLE - no, we don't change the subject in the middle of the week - even though many of us would like to from time to time! You might want to log onto the Coffee Pot.where you will find on-going conversations about everything imaginable.
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 7:40:40 AM
((JimK)) That first admission is very difficult. Congradulations for taking that step. It's difficult, but better than drinking. Keep coming back.
Member: holly h
Location: KY
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 1:43:47 PM
my sobriety date is 7/17/84 - acceptance remains elusive to me a lot because i refuse to let go until i am beaten and sometimes bloodied. my ego tells me i need something (money, love, whatever) and my will compels me to redouble my efforts until i "get" it. It's the same cycle - insanity - until I ask god to take it, PLEASE, because I can't do it anymore. pain leads me to surrender my lack of power eventually and that's when God can step in and do his work with me. I know acceptance is the result of the process for me rather than the beginning. I think everybody in AA struggles wiht acceptance. We are not saints - the point is - that we are WILLING to grow along spiritual lines. Sobriety is a journey. Lots of bumps and stop lights, even some nasty accidents, but every step is worth it. I do not believe that nothing happens in God's world by mistake. That has not kept from being sober and functional and content and successful. Mistakes happen all the time, the book tells us to work the steps to deal with the pratfalls and "life on life's terms" events that cause us pain so that we can stay sober and serve God and our fellow man. The slogans are helpful - one day at a time, it takes what it takes, keep coming back, etc. Just don't drink today, say your prayers, help somebody else and you will be okay like hundreds of thousands of others of us out there that struggle with the concept. My sponsor, both spiritual and religious, reminds me that my Higher Power never promised me that life would be free of strife. The program just teaches me how to deal with without drinking or using drugs or another compulsive behavior to bury it. Thanks, my fear of no tearning enough money for the month has abated. I'm grateful as Hell. Good luck and hang in there everybody!
Member: denis
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 3:30:29 PM
hey frank d,shut the fu45 up you dont know shi8 your from n.j. which is bad enough but like most newcomers ya think you gotta keep running yer yapper SHUT UP ALREADY YOU KNOW NOTHING. LOTS OF LOVE,DENIS
Member: AZbill
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 4:34:57 PM
John V....
Ok thanks John. Now I know of two John V's one in Ontario and one in BC. Makes me a double winner.
I am not unfamiliar with BC either. Mostly the Island and Surrey. You live waaaayyyy up there. :) Thanks for the note
Bill
az-bill@mindspring.com
Member: FrankD
Location: NJ
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 4:37:28 PM
Thanks buddy, always nice to hear from someone else. Which step are you working on?
Member: gary seemorcrak
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 5:03:34 PM
denis you suck doggie doo doo
Member: Tristan B
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 6:34:21 PM
T here, just about three years sober, and a first time poster here. I have been battling with acceptance and forgiveness for a long time. I am alot like someone earlier said, could accept that I am alcoholic, but have a had time accepting that I have to surrender in order to fix the alcoholic thinking. I ask a simple question, how do you give up years of self will?
Member: AndyM
Location: W.Pa.
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 7:37:31 PM
TristanB You do it one day at a time
Member: David N
Location: centralVermont
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 7:59:31 PM
Tristan: PRACTICE MAKES BETTER. although getting there often sucks
Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 9:29:24 PM
Good Evening, Tom A. here a grateful sober alcoholic today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this Suggested Program of Recovery we call A.A.. Haven't posted on Staying Cyber for quite sometime. Thank you Tommy for the topic. Some of the posts I've read on this topic this evening have given me the opportunity to practice acceptance. I happen to be an old timer. I entered A.A. on July 25, 1960 in Norfolk, Virginia and have not found it necessary to take a drink of alcohol or mind altering medication since that day by accepting daily that I am allergic to alcohol. At most of the meetings back then there was a little book, non-conference approved literature, that many of us still use. It is entitled "Acceptance - The way to serenity and peace of mind" by Vincent P. Collins. You can order it from "One Caring Place, Abbey Press, St. Meinrad, IN 47577. It does include a longer version of "The Serenity Prayer" and I recommend it use to anyone. The only advice I can give is to follow the advice given to me by one of the two speakers at my first A.A. meeting. "Any damn fool can stay sober for twenty-four hours." This damn fool accepts that truth daily and you know what I have not found it necessary to take that first drink and any day I don't take that first drink ole Tom is sober. Love and prayers from an alky who cares.
God Bless - Tom A. cte50203@centurytel.net
Member: DOT
Location:
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 11:04:47 PM
Where did that stupid comment (push your buttons)come from?rehab?shrink? Nothing like a catchy saying for people to continually repeat to prove their lack of original thought.LOOSER with all the nasty comments,continually changeing your name,doesnt help you,you're still same the looser you were when you woke up.
Member: Tommy B.
Location: Ks.
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 11:09:14 PM
Hi......Tommy here, still a drunk..I want to thank all of you for your comments and suggestions.....And, Tom A., I always listen to what the old timers say....They and others have kept me sober for a year on Mar. 15, if i make it...I have been working the steps, and think I have a pretty solid program going...It is good to hear that alot of us alkys have problems with acceptance...I feel less alone, and I know that is what AA is about.....I do have a sponsor that i talk to regularly, and I try to attend at least 1 meeting a day.....I simply laughed when i read Gary's comments because i sensed that his whole diatribe was out of anger, and i needed to pity, not scorn him, or it was phony....I do believe in my higher power, and try hard to accept his will for me.....And I have seen Him work his mysterious wonders......I also find that my serenity increases proportionately with my gratitude, and I am learning to look for the good in bad situations.....I realize that sobriety is a process, not an event, and that I must make the most of each day that I am given.....I pray each might that my mind be cleared of the clutter so that i might focus on what my creator's will for me is, and so that I can help my fellows.....I thank you all for your help, as you are all important to my sobriety..My prayers to all
Member: Trudy A
Location: Horsefly, B.C. Canada
Date: 2/19/2002
Time: 11:11:49 PM
Acceptance is a daily struggle which is certainly based on my spiritual condition that day. When I can let those things that are out of my control go, the condition of my spirituality increases ten fold. I have to keep going back to the basis. I am powerless not only over my alcoholism, but people, places and things as well. I love the serenity prayer and have used it well over the past years as I have trudged this road... I am grateful that you are out there as I am iving in the boonies and haven't been to a f2f since November. Wishing you another 24.
Member: pres.of women w/cocks
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:35:41 AM
"""""LATEST LBSIAN LYNCHING"""""""""
THE DIKES <W><W><C>and all novice muff munchers,there is a meeting at ''''''''''''''''''''''yeah we,'''''re gay club house thursday at 6:45pm we,ll be having mens balls stew and a fine patte made from the scrotum sak on ritz cracker.this will be followed by humiliate your spouse night.only this year all the spouse name willbe put in a hat and you will humiliate that man. get ready for a fun night ladies,and don,t forget your strap ons.last years winner schnaz promise her mokey to be dreessed as harry potter
Member: friend of dot
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 5:22:49 AM
THE TERM PUHING BUTTONS CAME FROM THE NIGHT A BUNCH OF US WERE GANGBANGIN DOTS MOTHER(HOT BITCH)CUM WAS flyin` she had a cock in EACH of her holes and one in each hand and she was mumbling something as there were TWO WOMEW STANDINg watvhimg dots mom said to the bitches push my buttons and everyone looked at each other in wonder when she reached between her legs and franticly began pushin on her little clitterOOOOOOOWWWEEEEE she stared screamin and squirm in it was better that mamas cullurd greens so now ya know how the buuttoonnss goted pusher
Member: friend of dot
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 7:52:20 AM
THE TERM PUHING BUTTONS CAME FROM THE NIGHT A BUNCH OF US WERE GANGBANGIN DOTS MOTHER(HOT BITCH)CUM WAS flyin` she had a cock in EACH of her holes and one in each hand and she was mumbling something as there were TWO WOMEW STANDINg watvhimg dots mom said to the bitches push my buttons and everyone looked at each other in wonder when she reached between her legs and franticly began pushin on her little clitterOOOOOOOWWWEEEEE she stared screamin and squirm in it was better that mamas cullurd greens so now ya know how the buuttoonnss goted pusher
Member: dempsey d
Location: I.O.W
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 9:10:18 AM
Hi Dempsey gladly recovering,saddens me to be greeted by the obscene .Can accept this and move on. I can after 5 years dry now accept myself alot more.Used to be full of so so much self loathing. I feel acceptance is a process and we grow one day at atime. Sure shit happens, but i come to realise that its not what happens but how i respond. Loads of love Dempsey.x
Member: Margie
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 9:53:25 AM
Gary you are still here...huh. How old are you anyway? Please go somewhere else!!!!
I have been on this website for a week now, sober for a while, and I am not finding very much sober behavior here. This is not true AA. It is a shame that the cowards that use this site to be immature and provoke negative attention, can't be human enough to do this in a f2f manner. I pray for those who have soooo much healing to overcome, that they may never see the enlightenment that is offered to all of us. It is an inside job!!
I guess I have to accept the principles, not personalities, but it is so frustrating to see a wonderful and helpful tool, like this website, to be littered with profanities and putdowns!! Those people are adding more polution into this world with thier immature selfishness!!I guess the acceptance for me in this instance is to walk over those dead bodies and to move foward into the light.
God bless you all...
Member: Lightman
Location: Electri City
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 2:23:48 PM
YES MARGIE "COME TO THE LIGHT, JOIN US IN THE LIGHT, WE LOVE YOU MARGIE"
Member: PATRICIA
Location: NEW YORK
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 3:13:54 PM
Hi Aa Family, My name is Patricia and I am a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC ONE DAY AT A TIME.Thanks to everyone who shared about ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPTANCE is the answer to all my problems that exist in Sobriety. As long as I accept the fact that the first drink will get me drunk, and Reality will come my way each day sober or drunk. I am grateful to the AA program that I have learned to follow the steps, become honest about my drinking to other people in the program. MY MAIN MESSAGE IS THAT I MUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THE FIRST DRINK I TAKE WILL GET ME DRUNK, AND TAKE ME TO PEOPLE< PLACES AND THINGS THAT WILL TRULY harm me or make me hit my bottom which was truly insanity! WELCOME TO ALL NEWCOMBERS AND PEOPLE COMING BACK! I love this site, and I am grateful to be able to be a part of this group.
Member: PATRICIA
Location: NEW YORK
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 3:14:17 PM
Hi Aa Family, My name is Patricia and I am a RECOVERING ALCOHOLIC ONE DAY AT A TIME.Thanks to everyone who shared about ACCEPTANCE. ACCEPTANCE is the answer to all my problems that exist in Sobriety. As long as I accept the fact that the first drink will get me drunk, and Reality will come my way each day sober or drunk. I am grateful to the AA program that I have learned to follow the steps, become honest about my drinking to other people in the program. MY MAIN MESSAGE IS THAT I MUST ACCEPT THE FACT THAT THE FIRST DRINK I TAKE WILL GET ME DRUNK, AND TAKE ME TO PEOPLE< PLACES AND THINGS THAT WILL TRULY harm me or make me hit my bottom which was truly insanity! WELCOME TO ALL NEWCOMBERS AND PEOPLE COMING BACK! I love this site, and I am grateful to be able to be a part of this group.
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:15:53 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:01 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:08 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:15 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:21 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:28 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:35 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:50 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:16:56 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:02 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:08 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:14 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:21 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:26 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:32 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:38 PM
WHAT?
Member: STONE COLD
Location: WWF
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 4:17:44 PM
WHAT?
Member: Donnie M (D.O.S. 3-1-99)
Location: Short Gap, W.Va.
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 5:11:34 PM
Hi, to all I am Donnie and I am a alcoholic. Tommy thanks for the topic and the first step is the hardest to get over for some. To me I knew for years that I was powerlees over booze and/or any other mind altering substance. I have to say that my life is still unmangeable today, but It is a little easier dealing with Sh*t today without that fog we get ourselves into. Pg. 449 in the third edition says it best I also like Pg. 417 in the fourth edition, so I will finish with this the acceptence is the answer to all our problems if we can be patient and let thinks happen we learn to live a life like we could have never dreamed. Thanks for letting me share and God bless all.
Member: kn
Location: sunshines state
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 8:19:58 PM
I have learned in this program the God is my help of myself I do not accept things well. I am greatful for all the teachers on this site even the ones who show me but for the grace of God.
Member: Allen O.
Location: Co.
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 8:51:45 PM
I have just got out on my own and I'm realy scared and yet I'm very excited. I dont want to screw up again like I have in the past. I know I have to keep going to meetings and keep reading my Big book, but If anyone can give me some advice I would apriciate it alot. Thanxs.
Member: DOT
Location:
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 10:37:44 PM
Thankyou to all the helpfull people here!FOR SHOWING ME THERE ARE GOOD PEOPLE, and many less LOOSERS!To the friend of dot,you must be wishing YOU were'nt such a looser.
Member: Cindy
Location: Mont.
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 10:45:17 PM
DOT,dont let the loosers bother you.They must have no life,no friends,no one else to bother after the bar closes.
Member: Madeline S.
Location: Long Island, New York
Date: 2/20/2002
Time: 11:32:01 PM
Hello, Acceptance for me means allowing people to be people. The only person I have control over is me and I need a Higher Power who I call God to keep me on track. I need acceptance when it comes to the fact I am an alcoholic. For today I know drinking isn't an option. Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Pam B
Location: Daytona Beach
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 1:07:36 AM
Hi, I'm Pam, an alcoholic.
Lots of good shares on Acceptance here! Another way around is saying "to stop RESISTING" ...
Anything I am trying to will into being My Way - is resistance ... not Acceptance of ...
For me, I ask God (my HP) to do His Will with whatever my problem may be (or the situation going on, or the person, place or thing) & to grant me Acceptance of whatever that may turn out to be (& to show me what action I am to take in the matter - or if I am to take none at all)
What a weight lifts off me! I experience inner peace & serenity (even if the situation or whatever it may be is still exactly as it has been) because I have stopped resisting.
& that gets "me" out of the way so God can take action ... (then miracles soon start happening)
We will cease fighting every one & every thing:)
Thanks for letting me share. Pam
Member: Nick H
Location: Brisbane
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 8:08:29 AM
Hi Nick, alcoholic, acceptance is a good one and the shares have been interesting, thanks to those who have positive stuff to say, my understanding of acceptance is simply letting go and letting god which isnt very easy, but can be done through prayer and faith, its saying yes to the universe and enjoying the moment of what is. Many years were spent drinking because of not being able to accept the things around us or within us and so now its a matter of having the courage to make the changes necessary to live a happy life and to agree with what is unchangeable and this is possible through AA, sobriety and the 12 steps. First things first, accept you're special and can offer wonderful gifts to the world while sober, stay away from the first drink and keep going to meetings. I can handle that. Love to all(-:
Member: Lisa K.
Location: Maryland
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 2:10:53 PM
It's really ashame that morons use our site to provoke. It does'nt bother us. We know how to deal with it. It's just a metaphor for life. Anyway, I'am Lisa and I'am an alcoholic! I relapsed due to family stress. The stress in the family is due to me not being with it. How is it they know when we drink. It seems the minute we take that drink all the dynamics change. I just wish I could stay sober. The longest period of sobriety I have had in 6 yrs. is 9 months due to pregnancies. I have gone back to school to finish my bachelors degree. I'am still an A student, I still take care of my kids, I just can't keep up with the house. Also my boyfreind works all the time and i feel lonely. I hate going to meetings. so I thought I would try this online meeting. Thank You all for listening. I don't know what the topic was, due to all the crud. Well there you have it...Lisa K.
Member: Kelly F.
Location: St. Louis
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 4:28:16 PM
Hi/Kelly F./alcoholic.
Good shares here on acceptance. Thanks to everyone. One of things I have to remember is that "Figure it Out" is not part of the program. I always seem to want to "accept" with the condition that I somehow have to make sense of it first. Just another way of resisting or exerting my will into a situation. I can really turn myself in knots over this instead of accepting things as EXACTLY as they are.
Thanks for letting me share.
Member: Vicki S.
Location: SW Ohio
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 4:41:07 PM
Hi!I'm Vicki, and I'm an alcoholic. I think my biggest problem with acceptance is; letting go. I have a problem realizing I can not change others. I want to be the one to pass judgement on the wrongs others have done. I have to stop myself so often and remember,this is God's job and will, and not mine. I think resentment foggs my mind at times, which effects my accepance. I pray a great deal and I can't tell you how many times a day I repeat the Serenity prayer to myself. I find each day a new struggle to stay sober and to put things in God's hands. I do want to thank you all for sharing your feelings and ideas, they do help. God bless you all. Love :) Vicki
Member: Ann
Location: Australia
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 4:53:35 PM
Hi Craig, I'm Ann and an alkie. Acceptance seems to come to me when I have exhausted all other avenues. That is in my nature - life is often a struggle for me until I reach the breakthrough point. Just before the breakthrough though, I am usually against a brick wall and there is nothing else to do except surrender and hand over to my higher power. All of this is fairly typical of an alcoholic "type" person. I think that mostly it is OK to take things to the brick wall, but I am learning slowly that I dont have to do that. I am sick of the struggle and ready to address life with humour and say "well isnt that peculiar..ha ha". Love your topic. Nothing ever will stay the same. Yours in the fellowship.
Member: Chris H.
Location: Fla.
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 5:27:32 PM
Hi all---chris here--alcoholic/addict/bulimic--It's good to be back after being out of town for 2 weeks... great topic--acceptance--I think that it is hard for all of us.. that is how we got into trouble in the first place... i am back to getting on my knees in the morning ( when I can get down adn get up!) and praying the serenity prayer...I think that that does start the day right and gets me at least in the right frame of mind...so many good things have been said here this week...but I would say that going to meetings and listening to how others have struggled and found answers to this problem really helps and being in constant contact with your sponsor and working the steps helps also.. It just takes time ( that ugly word!) to realize that God is GOd and we aren't. The good news He is patient with us and realizes that we are but humans. What I am beginning to learn ( after a long time on this journey) that His will is what is best for us. He is not some tyrent up there trying to make our life miserable...He wants to take the load off of us , if we will but let him. My sponsor's favorite word is "WIllingness". One of the greatest things this rebellious addict has learned is that when we are not willing, we can pray for that to. IT seems that what we have to do is get down to what we really feel and be honest with our H.P. about it... then He can do the miracles....when we are trying to fool ourselves and Him and others nothing gets accomplished...That is suuch a freeing thing. "Cast your burden upon him, for He cares for you".
Member: TMG
Location: North
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 8:11:04 PM
"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it!"
See http://www.geocities.com/tmgnorth/nz.html
Member: Jack S.
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 2/21/2002
Time: 11:19:13 PM
Hi there, my name is Jack and I am an alcoholic. Tristan, the only way that I have found to give up my self will was to suffer enough that I finaly accepted that my self will got me nowhere. I am 48 years old and I started drinking when I was 14. I spent close to 15 of those years knowing I was alcoholic but trying everyway I could to be like others. It did not work and for that I am grateful.
Member: Virginia
Location: Oklahoma
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 2:33:12 AM
(((BABETTE)))
Sorry to hear that you have lost your children but like you said now you can work on yourself and possibly get them back.
Briefly...when I first sobered up I too had lost my kids, I would go into the meetings and cry about them. (I had a history of being on a pity-pot) Poor me, my kids aren't with me...(did a lot of drinking over that one!)can you imagine what it would be like for 4 of us to be living in that old broken down car in the club parking lot??? I couldn't even take care of myself at the time for gosh sakes! Anyway, one day I finally got it and ACCEPTED the fact that at the time I was unable to have them and that was that. I always kept it in my mind that if I stayed sober I might get them back. Well, for me I didn't, some do though. BUT I stayed sober and worked the program and got to have a relationship with them which was beyond my wildest drunken dreams. Hang in there Babette, one day at a time...
Blessings
Member: James M
Location: Scotland
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 10:53:24 AM
Hi everyone - this is my first time at cybermeeting. Great stuff! I've been a grateful member of AA for over 6 years now and when I stop long enough to think about it, I'm having a ball. Presently at university finishing final year of psychology degree(beyond my wildest dreams). Bills paid, family all speaking to me (great opportunity to work program there) My own daughter who I abandoned is now close friend. There is not much I can do about the big stuff like the megalomaniac politicians but I can work on not contributing to the total sum of evil in the world. Maybe recovery is about simply learning to love.
Member: a child of god
Location: tto his children
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 1:34:41 PM
the distance between our hearts and the heart of gods seems so immense.how could we ever hope to have the heart of our lord? ready for a surprise? you already do.... if you are in god,you have his heart. one of the supreme yet unrealized promises of god is simply this:if you have given your life to god,he has given his life to you.he has made your heart his home.
Member: a child of god
Location: tto his children
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 1:34:46 PM
the distance between our hearts and the heart of gods seems so immense.how could we ever hope to have the heart of our lord? ready for a surprise? you already do.... if you are in god,you have his heart. one of the supreme yet unrealized promises of god is simply this:if you have given your life to god,he has given his life to you.he has made your heart his home.
Member: HAppy man
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 3:38:51 PM
Pam ,you thank us for letting you share like we have a fucking choice in the matter.you are one long winded bitch. shut the fuck up for one day!!!one fuckin day.BESIDES DID YOU AND THE REST of you windy fuckers see that they only want a once a day post!!!!!!!i ,m sure that is for all but you and your wind bag friendasSCHNAZ KIM MARL LES ALL OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP
Member: amy
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 4:54:25 PM
HAppyman lick my clit you bitch.
Member: tongueman
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:05:47 PM
AMY I,M JERKIN OFF JUST THINKIN ABOUT IT YUMMY
Member: slim
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:13:21 PM
HEY DOT < YOU BECOME ONE OF THESE ASS LICKIN LEMMINGS NOW?THE ONLY LOSERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DEPEND ON THE OTHER LOSERS THAT COME HERE TO STAY SOBER
Member: slim
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:13:25 PM
HEY DOT < YOU BECOME ONE OF THESE ASS LICKIN LEMMINGS NOW?THE ONLY LOSERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DEPEND ON THE OTHER LOSERS THAT COME HERE TO STAY SOBER
Member: slim
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:13:39 PM
HEY DOT < YOU BECOME ONE OF THESE ASS LICKIN LEMMINGS NOW?THE ONLY LOSERS ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DEPEND ON THE OTHER LOSERS THAT COME HERE TO STAY SOBER
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:14:52 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:00 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:07 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:11 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:13 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:16 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:19 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:21 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:24 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:27 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:29 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:32 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:35 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:38 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:40 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:43 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:46 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:49 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:52 PM
WHAT?
Member: 3.16
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 6:15:54 PM
WHAT?
Member: Morton
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 7:42:01 PM
Dear Lisa K., I was sorry to hear you pickedup a drink but what do you expect being a slut whore. you should have done that kid a favor and had an abortion.now that poor bastard has to grow up with a drunk for a mother.
Member: amy
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 8:20:51 PM
morton lick my clitoriuos you wimp impotent sissy.
Member: Jeff
Location: Ne.
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 8:45:32 PM
Having a bad week are we? WOW! Still sober, i have no problem accepting that. The rest, i`m working on "one day at a time".
Member: James Lupp and Lorraine Dennison
Location: Montrose, Co
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 10:07:55 PM
What happened to the open discussion AA meeting?! You can go to other places to spread your disease. Please, protect the integrity of this site for those of us seeking the experience, strength and hope of other recovering alcoholics. Thank you for your acceptance of this opinion even if it's not so humble. AA saved my life and for years I found this site a helpful kick to my one day at a time program. So, acceptance has it's limits. So does conformity. Thanks one day at a time.
Member: Ran N.
Location:
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 10:53:29 PM
I'm new and looking for an online site where I can find some support and honest interaction about stopping drinking. Just found this one, and the format looks good as a sort of 24/7 resource. But in scrolling through the last week, I am really turned off by today's pretty awful exchanges, and by the serious cries for help on 2-18 that nobody seemed to respond to.
Is this the place for me to talk, as a serious person, as playful and irreverent as the next, but not playing games? Would like some reassurance before I offer much. Thanks, all.
Ran
Member: Steven R.
Location: NY
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 10:54:04 PM
Well,just when I thought Gary/maggie/slim/rfc/whatever he chooses to call himself these days couldn't get more worthless, he does. Why couldn't the WTC been filled with people like him? Then it would not have been a tragedy but a blessing. If you are going to continue to spread your filthy disease at least have the balls to sign your name,coward. By the way,you are the official laughing stock of NY. Whenever someone exhibits poor behaviors here,we refer to them as a "Gary". It gives everyone a laugh and makes them realize how stupid they are acting. It's a great way to snap back to reality because while we have no problem being alcoholics,noone among us ever wants to be a "Gary".
Member: GRea
Location: In
Date: 2/22/2002
Time: 11:45:23 PM
Hi all here's to another 24 hrs and more miracles everyday. Acceptance for me was a tough one and it was explained to me I could accept it I just didn't have to like it. That was simple for me. Babette work on you and your kids will come but we obviously didn't become alcoholics overnight and things won't fix themselves overnight. Hang in there but all of you are forgeting this is a one day at a time program. Someone named Ran N is asking for help and is waiting on some response before saying much well I will listen and my e-mail address is at the bottom of this. I take the program of AA very serious and I believe in it very much. Roxanne your in the right place if you have one day and it doesn't seem like much break it down to minutes and even seconds whatever it takes to stay clean and sober. Good luck to all and I will pray for everyone. Thanks for letting me share. G Grea105@cs.com
Member: Eddie B
Location: Miami
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 12:54:01 AM
acceptance...living with, not against... doesn't mean I have to like it!! my seal of approval isn't really needed after all...if I'm suffering it's because I'm holding on to an old idea...minding my own business, like who's life is it anyway, often works when I can remember to take care of my space, not others...getting quiet and listening often helps for awhile..good nite
Member: Allen O.
Location: Co.
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 1:12:56 AM
Thanxs for nothing everyone. I thought I could reach out to other people with the same problem and find some advice.... but what I have found is a bunch of self absorbed people bickering betwwen themselves. P.s. Morton you are a hateful man and you are a cancer amoung us. Remember what I said you are a cancer amoung us, you need to be cut out of the " body " and thrown away.
Member: Keith S.
Location: Los Angeles,Ca.
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 1:59:40 AM
My name is Keith, by the grace of God and the Fellowship of A.A. I have not found it neccessary to pick up a drink since March 2, 1991 and for that, I don't think I'll ever be greatful enough. I am new to cyber A.A. but I do know that right now I am totally by myself and that is not a good place for a drunk like me to be. I don't have a sponser right now and I haven't taken any steps except #1. I'm not working Job or a real program. My wife broke her foot on wednesday and I don't mind helping her with just getting around, what I do mind is thinking that all I have done would not be returned in kind. I'm in a bad space,my own mind, a neighborhood I shouldn't be in by myself. I'm looking for a chatroom where I'm not terminally unique. If someone has some suggestions on where I can look I would be very greatful.
Member: Mr. Anonymous
Location: 2689 Ridgecrest Drive, Wadsworth
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 3:34:23 AM
"...my name is Tommy, and I am drunk with hope..."
I love it Tommy!
How does one 'get' acceptance? Great question/topic. I haven't had this idea before in my 11+ years of recovery, but maybe we CAN'T get it. Maybe acceptance is a gift just like sobriety. Maybe acceptance will finally come to me when (or if) I say the serenity prayer enough. These are just some random thoughts of mine this morning. But I do think this is a core question for recovery. For the first 44 years of my life, basically the word 'acceptance' was NOT part of my vocabulary.
Thanks for letting me share. I'll be back.
Member: Helen C
Location:
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 6:05:29 AM
Oh, dear how regular you are. Hi I'm Helen and I'm an alcoholic.
I do NOT have Gods heart. I do not have anyone elses body parts at all. There is nothing under the bed but dust bunnies.(I am Sooo much better now.) I do NOT accept everything. That is called "_______ autism" it is not a good thing. I checked. Help me out with the blanks, you psych majors.
Gary sounds normal to me. Why is that a problem?
Last time I looked in a Bible this wasn't God's world. I believe he left the caretaking to the BAD BABYSITTER. I'm hoping in God's world things are a little bit happier for us all. (Well, mostly me, really.) I am not however dying to find out. But I do expect a better class of produce. Helen
Member: Eddie B
Location: Miami
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 8:59:36 AM
my name is Eddie & I'm an alcoholic, forgot to say that last nite, 1st time I shared w/you on this format...look's like I've been given another daily reprieve(sp) today!! will pick up my AA medalin tonight(14yrs) it's so fitting that I thank every member of AA for their participation(sp)and presence in recovery... I've traveled in AA from Key West to Boston, and from Miami to San Diego, going to more meetings when on vacation than when I'm home...this board is just another way to travel...about acceptance: alot of stuff that happens in a spiritual program happens as the result of doing something else, for instance,I can't make myself serene...I wouldn't say check me out around 2:00 and watch how serene I am...nor would I say I'm going to work on acceptance...it happens as the result of getting rid of the things that are blocking us...then we experience what we've had inside of us all along...I've heard alot about practice, practicing acceptance...how can you do that when you got stuff going on inside? the steps take us where we are supposed to go... acceptance happens as the result, just like most of the rest of the stuff, including promises,we get better inside-out...that's where the work is,that's where the healing takes place, and that's where one's higher power is...I've learned early-on not to try to think myself sober...enough from me...enjoy the journey... and thank you AA
Member: dempsey d
Location: iow
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 9:22:42 AM
Im feeling disgust atsome of the destructive crap here.Whatis it with obscenity and abuse?Is it tragic reflection of something so sd?Whats wrong with wantin to break the chain. Many of us are ACOA.Have been bought up by parents unable to give us love,we in turn find it very hard to give our kids what we havnt had.Go Babbette u can break the chain.To those with there abusive outpourings take alook at yourself/selves.Thoughts arethings and we can choose them. Remain in saddened gratitude..Dempsey X
Member: gary
Location:
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 11:25:41 AM
i am very sick and pathetic
Member: RFC
Location:
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 1:42:15 PM
Amongst all the good bad and indifferent GOD is always present.If you like,this is a reading from a daily book which has brought me comfort when i needed it most. Faith is the belief that GOD is real and that GOD is good...It is a choice to believe that the one who made it all hasn`t left it all and that he still sends light into the shadows and responds to gestures of faith...
I have to believe that those who use this site other than its intended use have a problem that throwing more harsh words at will not solve.But i do know one thing if nothing else GOD loves those people as much as he loved me when i was like them and no more because through his grace and guideance i am no longer like them. as far as the innoccent people these words may harm, i pray that you forgive them and pray for them as god intended.someone asked jesus why he came to the crazies and the sick"BECAUSE THE WELL DO NOT NEED ME"instead of threats of cutting and other horrible things,let us for one moment think as hard as we can,to at least one time we did something as hurtful as we,ve seen here,and how in the smallest part of our being we felt a tiny smidge of guilt or remorse.believe it or not,it was that small opening that made you what you are today. so instead of cursing the devil in this person ,if each of us spent one minute asking god to forgive us(YES US) for our anger and ask GOD to touch the heart of these people with what he so lovingly and forgivingly touched yours with. live with love
Member: Lynn P.
Location: Edmond, OK
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 1:57:11 PM
Hello, my name is Lynn and I'm an alcoholic. I agree so much that acceptance is difficult, but it is not impossible. I am 16 years sober still struggle with it. I believe that acceptance that we don't get what we want, when we want it and how we want it is how we learn that we are not the ruler of the world but a part of God's world. I also do not agree that there are no mistakes in God's world. I have heard that at too many meetings. I believe that God mourns bad choices made by us and hurts for all victims of bad choices whether that be us or others. God does not control us, even when we do not follow the best paths. I have had so mant hard to accept events in my life from deaths of those I loved to having cancer to not having someone I loved love me back and all were very hard to accept. Acceptance is a journey that is hard but if you let your higher power- whoever you choose that to be- walk with you, you will emerge to a better place. You will be stronger, wiser and find some positive in whatever happens to you. I have good memories of the people I have lost, made good resolutions with the loves I lost and have the strength to emerge from a bad experience with hope and love still in my heart. These are Gods gift to me. Alone I have an ego centered disease that will only give me bitterness, hate, anger and negative endings to experiences I find unacceptable. For me it has usually been a journey of stages that must be passed through. I will not ever be one to accept easily and instantly. Hope this gives someone something. So happy to find this online meeting.
Member: Pnkrkr
Location: In orbit
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 2:52:29 PM
Wow I didn't expect to read some of the things that are on here. I think that it needs to be addressed. Some of the 'bad' words and sexual descriptions are very abusive. I think people should be allowed to say how they feel about things-the topic. Even to say for instance, like that girl did, 'forget about god....' -things of this nature. But noone has the right to abuse others in the process. Its way out of line. However, I guess it can not be stopped -maybe there is a need for approval of the comments before they are posted. Anyway, its too bad that there are those of us who feel the need to try to victimize, abuse, tell grafic sex stories about 'gangbangin'- Whoever wrote that story is very sexually abusive. I honestly feel bad for you all who felt the need to say these things because I know they were done and said to you. You have turned into your own abusers which means you gave up -and that is horrifically sad. Please get help-AA is not the place for that part what you all need. We all have within ourselves the same judge that judges everyone else as 'bad' 'good' , 'idiot' whatever. Everytime you say something with hate or anger that judge in your head looks at YOU and puts you down a little more and a little more, until one day you look in the mirror and feel like stabbing yourself because you hate yourself so bad. You realize you've become what you've hated the most. Sadly I guarantee the day will come for each of you. The bell tolls for all of us eventually. We all pay for what we do and say in life. I wish you well and hope the best for you.
Pnkrkr
Member: kev
Location: now a happy home again
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 5:23:16 PM
i think i may have removed the cancer that allen o.,from co. spoke about,and quite by accident. a little over a month ago we rented a room to this guy in a.a.,all is well until today i find porno was viewed on this very computer.well i pulled up the record of just what else mr.a.a. has been doing with my computer in my name, and this place come up alot.so i read everything in all the different rooms and though i don,t see his name,i hear his voice,if you follow.so guess who you won,t be hearing from at least off my tab anymore.he is sitting on the front rock wall waiting on another sucker to pick him and all his stuff up.we had the police come up and though there is no proof he did anything(we know some of it,s him cause he,s said it at meetings)we told the police we felt unsafe with him in our home and wanted him out.so they stayed while he got his belongings together and put them down the road and his ride should be here by 6:00pm if not by 7:00the cops will come back. so you can breathe a sigh of relief that at least you have one less nut to deal with.just thought after all he put you through youdeserved to know.
Member: Tommy B.
Location: Ks.
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 5:32:10 PM
Hi....Tommy again...still a drunk......Lynn..When I am in okc, I go to a meeting hall at Edmond located N of 33rd and Eastern, or Broadway......Maybe see you there next time in town..Small world...Thanx..Or is Eastern called Boulevard?
Member: Margie
Location: Long Island
Date: 2/23/2002
Time: 6:20:59 PM
Hi all...
To Keith and Allen - Hang in there, and work the program!! I am not sober for long coming up on 6 months, back in. I am starting to discover that just going to meetings doesn't cut it for me. I have to accept the fact that this is a daily program of work. Hard work sometimes.
I recommend getting into the Big Book! Read it over and over again until it really works for you! Go to Big Book study groups were the sobriety is taken very seriously, but acceptance is the key ingredient. Acceptance over our situation, people, places and powerlessness.
These websites are great, meetings are great, but the real meat and potatoes is in the Big Book, the text book on how to stay sober, and to have an inner transformation.
Good luck and keep us posted on your progress!!
Much love and gratitude, Margie
Member: Gr
Location: In
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 1:58:10 AM
Hi we should all take what we need and leave the rest but yes it is a little vulger this week. Hang in there and where is our new topic. It's the 24th at 2:00
Member: Leif B.
Location: Around And Around
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 3:41:12 AM
TOMMY B : Man , am I glad to 'see' you !!! You are a Gift , my Friend ..BELIEVE it ;- A Gift to those who know you , those around you in Society , and especially , to all of us here at this meeting-place..this Sacred Ground !!
EVERY hour you Do Not DRINK Or USE Other Substances for retreat from yourself and Life..[And even if you DID , you'd STILL be important to US ]- whether or not you're 'chosen',or guided ,to Come To Believe you are an Alcoholic and/or Addict , and so survive awhile more , (along with the lives of those you might -"intentionally" or not, take out of this life in the worst Depths of your Alcoholic Insanity , if your Disease progresses to that point),is out of our hands.. But ,Today , I've become grateful enough to genuinely HOPE for an alkie struggling with these ideas as I am now to come along , so I can stick out my paw , so to speak, to you , as was done for me . I realize now that my prayers , spoken and hidden within , have been fully answered when I read your post and completed this day sane ,uninjured ,Sober. For a few years now , when - NOT if - ,I'm tempted by the delusion that I'm "cured" ,I sometimes imagine my Disease as the amiably pitiless figure of Mike Tyson , smiling that odd way he does , arm 'round my shoulder , whispering : " C'mon ,Leifth-buddy -!WE can Party ,can't we..?! Just like Old Times ;Call up 'ol Uncle Jackie Daniel'sth ; And we'll all spar bareknuckle to impress the chicks !! Don't that sthound GOOD ?! -And ,I PROMISTH we won't leave you bleeding and naked in that filthy rat-infeshted cellar like before , heh-heh! "
Thanx all for being here for me !
Member: ALKADIC
Location:
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 4:06:29 AM
^^^^^^ :-(
RULE 62!!!!!!!!
Member: AnilG
Location: Mt Vernon,IL
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 5:39:22 AM
Acceptance is easy for me. When life is going good and everybody does things my way. I can accept things. But then I wake up, and in real life not everyone does what I think they should be doing or the way I think it should be done. That is when it becomes difficult to accept. Grant me the serenity to accept what I can not change, really the only thing I can change is my lousy attitude. Yes sometimes life happens, it isn't always pleasant or easy, but for me, whatever happpens will only become worse if I drink or drug. I can run around and yell and scream, making everyone around me miserable, afraid or crazy like me.
Member: KEV
Location: NOW A HAPPY HOME
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 8:40:22 AM
Just wanted to say THANKS, for taking the time to inform us of the action you have taken to relieve yourself and us of the "cancer". Some alkies just don't want to or have yet to take the "medicine" to help heal themselves of their many forms of mental , emotional, intellectual, and spiritual sickness. Maybe your action might help him to see that,thats an area of his life he needs to work on. THANK YOU, OLD TIMER.
Member: DOT
Location:
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 9:03:33 AM
Hey slim,BIG BOOK Pg.132 "We have recovered and been given the power to help others"Try reading the Book,and you too can get out of the looser catagory.Lemming,a new word for you to use every chance you get?
Member: kev
Location: happy home
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 10:04:44 AM
dear old timer, i knew some would respond but your words are well intentioned and well received.our friend was arrested last night in town for fighting. he can not make bail and has called here 26 times.whatever happened to 1 phone call? my wife and i did not sleep well out of fear that he,dcome up to harm us but now he can only harm himself. it is a little scarey when he gets out though.they have computers in jail so he may very well come back but we are going to call the jailhouse and tell them he is disruptive on line so maybe we won,t here from him .i,m sure if he gets his hands on one of these i,ll have a thousand e mails. pray for me and my wife please her name is pat thank you all
Member: been there done that
Location:
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 10:22:10 AM
he has NO access to a commputer in jail!!!
Member: joe
Location:
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 10:24:33 AM
not the county jail anyway,and if and when he gets to the big house,he will be way too busy being bubbas-boy,if ya get my drift!!!!!!
Member: Margie
Location: L.I.
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 12:18:38 PM
Let's all pray for Gary,Slim,Maggie, etc. He could use our prayers more than any of us!! I know I need to. I was getting a big resentment over this guy, and know that prayer is the only way to get it out. I guess I can say this now that he may not ever return, but at least I am willing to try. Like it says in the BB, we must pray for those that hurt us, because they are sick, sprirtually sick. He is sooo sick that our prayers can only benefit him, and us!! As they always do.
I'll pray for you as well Kev, thanks for all you have done.
Member: george
Location: cali
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 4:04:01 PM
I new just attended my first meeting last night. It took44 years to get in there. Acceptence? Never drank every day Stoped for 1 year 2 years and 3 years but everytime ended up in the same place. Hope to break the cycle. Acceptence is hard.
Member: george
Location: cali
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 4:04:33 PM
I new just attended my first meeting last night. It took44 years to get in there. Acceptence? Never drank every day Stoped for 1 year 2 years and 3 years but everytime ended up in the same place. Hope to break the cycle. Acceptence is hard.
Member: george
Location: cali
Date: 2/24/2002
Time: 4:08:16 PM
Could use on line support. Ibiggee@aol.com