Member: Robin A
Time: 2:37:13 PM
Hi (((all))) Robin-alcoholic and addict of MORE here...
Something I have been working on is learning to apply the 12 steps/traditions/principles in my life as well as in AA. Have a hard time remembering to finish what I start-leaving me and my surroundings a mess every time.
Any suggestions would be helpful (I hope I will follow thru with them as well)
Member: kenneth A
Time: 3:01:07 PM
I'm Kenneth from Barbados i'm 28 yrs sober in feb i stopped going to meetings about 5 years ago. I know i need the fellowship of AA but not doing it my life is in turmoil and know that AA would set my thinking right.Any comments would be greatly appreciated
Member: Dee H.
Time: 3:43:13 PM
Hi, Robin. All of these "isms" in our life can be dealt with through what we learn in AA, the big book, etc. Many of us have had a problem with getting defocused. Our minds seem to just jump from one thing to another. I have found that making a list of steps toward finishing my goal helps me to stay focused. If I stray, I can always come right back to where I left off on the list. Hope this helps..... Kenneth, I know what you mean. I tried not going to meetings, too. I didn't drink, but I sure missed out on the blessing of having been there. Try to find a meeting. There are many dying of the disease out there who need you, and you need them, too.
Member: Bob S.
Location: Salt Lake City
Time: 4:17:16 PM
Just a personal perspective, of course..my ES&H: A.A. is no different than the rest of my life. Being in recovery means everywhere, all the time. It's all the same. If I show restraint in an A.A. meeting when I don't particulary agree with a speaker, I have to use that same restraint at work, at the grocery store, in my car driving to a movie or to work in commuter traffic. Just to be clear, I don't mean to imply that I accomplish this all the time, only that it is the standard I need to live by. The better my relationship with G~d, and the practice of maintaining my spiritual beliefs, the more consistent and persistent I am in practice of the standard. Kenneth: go to meetings! and to the Coffee Pot site here. Bob
Location: Sierra Vista, Arizona
Time: 5:34:35 PM
HI, Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. The 11th Step is an invaluable tool for staying focused. It does mention in the last paragraph (p.88) that we are undisciplined, so we let God discipline us in a simple way. This is true but WE have to do the footwork.
Some key points I learned were. First take a look at what needs to be done. Then set reasonable time frames to accomplish this. In other words, I try not to do four 15 minute chores in one hour. Then I had to learn to set priorities. What needs to be done first? I was sure to leave room for error.
Putting this into practice takes a bit of of time and practice to learn. I started by selecting a home group and attending that group on a regular basis every week without fail.
At one year(August 21), I decided to go back to college. The next semester started on Jan 24. By going through the Steps several times by now, I learned to schedule such that I could carry 12 hours, work 40 hours, and still find time for two or three meetings a week. I only had one "tough" day a week. I even had a bit of "free time". :)
The experience of the college years and the growth in recovery also proved invaluable. In patient scheduling I left room for add ons when possible. If doing a "late" patient would interfer with an "on time" patient. I would reschedule the late patient.
There is so much more to this topic. Two other important factors are knowing my limitations and common sense practice. Remember..easy does it (but do it) works in all aspects of our lives.
Thank you for being a part of my sobriety today
Member: Rose P.
Time: 6:43:34 PM
Kenneth--get back to where you and people like us belong--A.A. meetings!!! It may be uncomfortable at first, and it may feel awkward since you have a long time sober, but within a short time, you may realize that "oh, yeah-I remember now-I belong here!" The fact that I had a long time sober, 21 yrs., among other excuses, made it difficult to go back, after I had slipped away from meetings. I paid for that by eventually drinking. I'm only a few days back and I feel at home. The fact that I had the "TIME" (what happened to one day at a time?), was only an excuse in the light of reality and sobriety! Don't use that excuse. By the way, I haven't shared this yet, but I am an addictions therapist, and guess what? Ain't none of us immune to relapse, my friend. If you're not headed towards recovery, you're heading towards relapse. You're helping me. I hope I've said something to help you.
Time: 7:07:32 PM
So many principles of the program could be brought into this discussion, as we encourage Kenneth to return before it's too late. The first, second, and third steps all apply for sure. There's the specific line from the 12+12, in the Step 3 chapter,saying "logic and instinct always seek to bolster egotism, and so frustrate spiritual development." That means to me that it seems to us we should be smart enough to figure things out, and we desire to feel strong and capable, and then ego takes over and we have trouble admitting we are not strong, and that we need help. The alcoholic mind wins out again, if we revert to "our own devices", and we can even rationalize drinking again.
Member: Adam H.
Location: Nagano, JAPAN
Time: 7:21:41 PM
I'm with Bob S...there is no difference between my life outside of AA and my life in the rooms. I love what the Big book says: "The spiritual life is not a theory; we have to LIVE it." To me, that means that I can't come into a meeting, walk that walk and talk that talk, and then act like an irresponsible dickhead outside the meetings....which is a really important lesson for me. I need to practice loving service at my job the smae way I practice loving service in the meetings or working with a newcomer. Restraint of pen and tongue not just for those times when someone in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous says something that angers me...it is real important in dealing with my family. Pausing when agitated or doubtful and asking God for the right thought or action is REALLY important t ome...my mind gets cluttered too, and I get quite fearful sometimes and make the wrong choice. So for me what I have to do is try to practice what I learn in sobriety with people who are not AA members...I get the guidance I need in how to do that through Step 11 (like AZBill mentioned) and through contact with a sponsor and sponsees.
Grateful to be sober. Kenneth, come back and join us. Robin, keep coming back.
Member: Carolyn M
Location: West Haven, CT
Time: 9:04:20 PM
Hi. My name is Carolyn and I am an alcoholic. Finding time for meetings has not worked for me in the past. I have to schedule my meetings just like I schedule a doctors appointment. I find the use of a day planner is useful because I own two businesses and work part time for another. If I don't pen in my meetings, I get so caught up in life that I forget them until they are over. I have been told that is my alcoholism taking over and blocking out the most important thing - getting to a meeting daily. I feel it if I fail to make a scheduled meeting and it shows in my actions and attitudes. When I miss a meeting I end up in my head, even after nine years sobriety. My head is so full of committee members that it is a bad neighborhood for me. Meetings are a part of my foundation and I choose not to let it crumble.
My day planner also helps me schedule tasks so they can be completed on a timely basis. If the task is too large to accomplish all at once, I eat it like an elephant - one bite at a time until it's finished.
Thanks all for being there for me. Love ya.
Member: Fred B Good
Location: Sunny South Florida
Time: 9:25:32 PM
Dont Drink Goto Meetings Get a Sponcer Do the steps Enjoy
Member: Jeff S
Time: 10:46:58 PM
my name is Jeff S and I am an alcoholic and an addict.I was reading Kenneth's story and was thinking of my own life. I went eight years without a meeting or a drink because of a resentment within my group but I managed to stay sober and found myself rationalizing myself onto the marijuana maintainance program. I watched friends of mine in the program in the same boat going back out. One guy in fact had sixteen years in and had taken me to a few of my first meetings and bought me my first big book go back out the same way (maintainance program).I really looked up to this guy because I could identify with his reasons for quitting drinking and could see myself going in the same direction as he was. I quickly returned to meetings and got a first meeting chip.Now I can honestly say that I am clean and sober for three months on the 23rd of january. I hope your dry dates never change and I think that what they say is right go to meetings, join a group and get a sponsor. Thanks for your time. Jeff from Peterborough,Ontario.
Member: Geoff D
Time: 12:07:59 AM
To one and all,Hi! My name is geoff,sober today, thanx to the higher power and fellow members! In reading robins comments, it reminds me of how, at first, I didn't want to do the steps, but,then having been guided through them, I have found them to be an asset! It had me realise of how far I had strayed from society into my own egotistical form, always looking out for me and no one else! As one member pointed out to me awhile ago, "the steps r ongoing and will always be a part of my life, don't dwell on the mistakes that I have made, rather, on the positive of where I would like my life to go"! Like all things it takes Honesty,Openmindness, Prayer and Effort! By being sober for oneday at a time, being kind to myself, and regular meetings, life does get easier even though we suffer some pain in the process! As regard to Kenneth, I also suffer the same thing at times, but, each time That I would like to falter,I remember what others told me early days!"Be careful alcoholics suffer the disease of isolation, the disease is silent, patient, powerful and terribly cunning, do not succumb! If I feel like walking it is usually a sign of me refusing to look at something that needs to be looked at.Do not put yourelf down Kenneth, in fact u will be more of service to others, and a person of so many years is only an assett,afterall, are we not miracles in the making!:) sorry for gasbagging and have a good day to all!
Time: 2:27:04 AM
I'm Gage and I'm an alcoholic. Even though I've only been sober eleven months, I've been around AA a lot in my life. I've had a habit in the past of only listening to the people who said the things I wanted to hear and convinced myself that I could tailor this program to suit myself. It hasn't worked that way in the past and I don't think it will work now. So, I'm just putting effort on trying to understand what the steps require of me, and just doing it. I'm trying to keep it really simple, because I can think my way out of doing anything that I find unpleasant. I'm living on faith right now, but I'm trying to put some action behind it. I agree with you Robin that AA does have to be a way of life for people like us. But I think just the fact that we're willing to live that way, even if we don't know how all that well, is going to help us somehow. The Big Book says that the willingness is indispensable.
Location: pottsville pa
Time: 7:55:32 AM
Kenneth, When ever I hear some one sharing that, after some time in this program they went back out, the next thing they share is they stopped going to meetings! Go to a meeting! Please? We need you...
Member: Bill F
Location: Gardena, CA
Time: 8:02:03 AM
Robin - In 17 years of sobriety I've tried the lists, the planners, the postit notes, even a sponsor to hold me accountable on a daily basis - but still have trouble focusing and completing things. Like the boat and airplane models bought 10 years ago or the fence on our 2 years new to us house. Good Orderly Direction has led me back into therapy for the resulting depression and perhaps treatment for Attention Deficit Disorder. The steps and prayer keep me sober and able to do the other things necessary to restore my sanity after the alcohol was removed.
Time: 11:41:25 AM
This is a good topic, I've been thinking...what happened to me, I believe, is that the combination of an honest effort at the fourth step and truly accepting my powerlessness over everything except my thoughts and actions cleared out a lot of space in my whirling head. That space seems to have made room for a greater ability to be in the moment, and it is there that I can 'practice these priniciples' a bit at a time. Also I think the time spent in the morning asking (I can't do this stuff on my own) for help throughout the day helps a lot. I just have no use for the woman I used to be and I want to change. Hopefully I am. My sponsor suggested (a strong suggestion) that I pray for patience every day and I do and it helps because I along with accepting that I am an alcoholic and cannot drink, the other thing I have had to accept is how very imperfect I am. I make so many mistakes. Sometimes I feel that in accepting my alcoholism I've also accepted my humanity and maybe that's why today I feel comfortable in my own skin so much of the time. What a blessing.... never thought that could ever happen to me. Thank you all for being here.
Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Time: 11:49:30 AM
Thanks for the great topic. I’m reminded of the saying “To Thine Ownself Be True”. If I am living in Joy, then I am right with God, regardless of whether the bed is made or the dishes are done. I am not in Joy when I am listening to the voices of my ego, which will always deny the power of God in present of my life and seek to have things be different than they are. It is not easy to feel hurried and sit in a traffic jam. As it was said before, I need to remind myself, (1) I am powerless over alcohol, which was my solution to everything before I found AA. (2) I am insane and God can restore sanity. (3) What Is happening is the Will of God no matter how my ego wants to see it. Perfection in life is an ego trap, which keeps us in the past and/or future and in non-acceptance to the present. This alcoholic had lost everything to alcohol. For me to wake up with such Joy in my heart today, is a miraculous gift and is a direct result of practicing the 12 steps.
Time: 3:47:34 PM
Thank you all i needed that.Please keep coming back.
Time: 4:41:09 PM
Hi bill saw your post. trying to find an alanon chat for ashley, if you know of one you know where you can reach me. thanks alot sylvia
Time: 8:54:01 PM
im trisexual,ill try anything
Member: Michelle B.
Time: 10:34:05 PM
I went to a couple of meetings last week. (My first two!) I am reading the book and am trying to work through the steps. They seem quite overwhelming...it it something that takes a while to figure out? Thanks for all your comments, they are really interesting.
Member: Peter De
Location: Jersey Shore
Time: 12:00:04 AM
I am a list person. I find to manage my time, I need realistic planning. Time management is the tool. Getting "things" done is quite satisfing. Even if "it" is as humbling as scrubbing the toilet. Confidence and a sense of accomplishment are worthwhile rewards. What a change from the liquid and powder rewards I once persued! Expectations and goals eventually evolved from this once zero prospect, unemployable scumbag. Self-esteem came slowly from this once self hating, angry drunk. "When the student is ready the teacher appears". "Respond not re-act" whew,"count to 10" whew, easly said, apply.
Member: Les AM
Location: San Diego
Time: 1:05:11 AM
Kenneth A., if going to meetings would decrease the turmoil in your life and make you happier then go to meetings unless there are circumstances in your life you didn't mention which make it impossible for you to attend meetings. If the latter situation exists you might call the AA Central Office nearest you and ask that sober members of AA visit you and keep shareing here also participate on the 12X12 site, and on the Coffee Pot. Good luck to you.
Robin, my dear, great subject, thank you. Cripes, when I was drinking I could not finish anything except a drink. What the program has taught me to do is take the next indicated step. Simple enough that even I can do it. It has allowed me to gain patience as well. Now I can do things today that will give results at some future date, such as growing vegetables. I never had the patience before joining AA to put a seed in the ground, water and care for the little seedling until it grew into something delicious to eat. Patience, in awaiting a result, is probably just the extension of the ability to take the next indicated step.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto,Pa
Time: 2:51:39 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. As we mature in our sobriety, we learn thru the 12 steps how to live our way into sober thinking, as opposed to thinking our way into sober living. Thanks for allowing me to share and God Bless.
Time: 4:32:24 AM
Hi all Sammie here, I believe the both of you are having the same experience. Why do I say this? Because we all need people,the fellowship, in order to recover and no matter the length of sobriety we have we cannot do this program alone. All the steps from number 1 on are we steps. I have never gone into a room thought things through and comeout feeling better. We had to have Gods help, so join us on the broad highway you will surely meet some of us. Please keep coming back, we need your wisdom.
Member: Peter T.
Location: Hilversum, The Netherlands
Time: 5:43:16 AM
I think the topic is Step 12: "Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps we tried to carry the message and practice these principles in all our affairs."
21 years and relapsing! It is sad but reminds me that for alcoholics like us, stopping meetings is a sure step to getting drunk. We need meetings first and foremost because every newcomer we meet reminds us what it is like out there.
The answer to keeping long term sobriety is giving it away - working with newcomers.
What has kept me going to meetings is service work. I may be a drunk but I have a strong sense of responsibility. That is why I volunteer for service positions - sort of insurance to keep going to meetings even if the spririt is not willing that particular day. Service at my group and online (for a number of reasons I only can make one English speaking meeting per week and so has been for several years).
I confess I stopped applying the principles I learned in the program to my job. Eventually it cost me my job and I was let go. I was always trying to find an easier softer way - trying to please everyone and ending up pleasing no-one. I am therefore doing another Step 4 and 5.
Praying in the morning and the evening seems to help. Also firing myself and getting a new boss - God - is a step in the right direction.
Thanks for letting me share and keep going to meetings - your life depends on it!
Member: Justin F.
Time: 7:22:06 AM
Goodday all. I am an alcoholic in recovery. Thank you all for your comments. I am new to online A.A. meetings and have a great desire to stop drinking permanently and get my life back together again, therefore I appreciate all the support I can get.
Time: 9:37:42 AM
Hi Justin: How are you doing? It only gets better. Nobody said it would be easy but willingness and honesty sure have a huge part in getting started. If need be just take one moment at a time and this too shall pass. You will never be given more than you can handle. Keep the faith.
Time: 10:04:20 AM
SO, if I THINK I have a problem....I probably do? This is my first time here. I'm scared and really confused. But I know that when I start drinking, I don't stop. Although I don't drink everyday...I do use it to escape. And I am excessive. What do you think?
Time: 4:23:54 PM
Hello everybody - Jen here. This is my first comment posted although I've been reading the discussion page for 4-5 months. I've been sober for 8 months but have only attended 2 AA meetings. I have another recovery group that I visit once a week. This discussion is good for me. I've been finding myself in a phase where things are going well and I'm becoming complacent with my program. I don't want to go to group, I don't want to work on issues, and I don't want to talk about "it". I just want to live my life. What I'm remembering through reading the comments is that it is not enough to just "be sober". That is still not really living. There is a lot work that I need to do to keep my recovery at the forefront of my mind. Even when I don't feel like it, I go to group. Even if I feel like I didn't get a thing out of it, I'm still aware that it made a difference. Kept me on my program. I also make lists for myself and allow myself to feel like I've moved mountains when I've only made sure I ate okay and took a shower. I have to remember that that used to be one of the first things to go when I was on a binge. I guess what I'm saying is, whatever your program is, don't stop it when you feel good. It's why you feel good, and you need to stick with it. Time so easily lets the brain forget. It really is one step at a time and not too fast at that. Good Luck.
Time: 4:32:33 PM
Hi, Susan, and welcome..I guess the truth is, it doesn't really matter what we think, it only matters what you think, but I remember feeling exactly the same way. Why don't you click onto the CoffeePot, and ask questions? In between the people who are taking themselves WAY too seriously over there, are others who are sane and sober and will help if you ask. Good luck you are among friends here!
Member: Jan P.
Time: 4:51:36 PM
Hi everyone! My sponsor always tells me "first things first" and the first thing is don't drink, one day at a time. If I apply that to other things in my life it seems a bit easier. I am 4 months sober after a 10 year relapse and it is much harder this time. If I want to stay sober I have to do whatever it takes, whether I like it or not. For me that's the only way. Meetings, Prayer, Sponsors, etc. are all part of the program. Omit any of these and it makes staying sober harder than it has to be. Thanks to everyone for helping me stay sober.
Member: Shelley S
Location: Tomball TX
Time: 11:05:41 PM
I have not had a drink in 29 days, I am having a hard time getting to a f2f meeting, I know I should go, but I just can't find the courage to go. I know that I am powerless over alchol and that I only get through the day with the grace of God. I have the big book, and spent several years in alanon, so I know the program works. I guess I just have a hard time facing my alcholism. If any one can suggest a good meeting in Tomball, Tx or somewhere around there I would be greatful. Maybe I can work up the courage to walk into that first meeting. I have been reading this site for quite sometime now. And appreciate everything I read, it helps alot when I have the urge to reach for a drink. Thank you.
Location: Haines, Alaska, USA
Time: 12:05:20 AM
Hi...I'm Ray C an alcoholic with a addictive personality,meaning I tend to do whatever it is I'm doing to the extreme.My last drink was in Grants Pass Ore. in 76 thanks to AA at the Hi-Low club there.I'd like to say all my time was sober time but like alot of people after 10 years of total abstinence and a move to Alaska where pot was legal I too rationalized that a few tokes were fine and although it never turned my life into the wreck that alcohol did it certainly took a toll on my serenety and peace of mind.I did make a few meetings but found myself feeling guilty for talking the talk but not walking the walk.I'm a musician and did make a decent income from it but working the bars and the the BS that goes with them also caused me to start looking for a new vocation a few years ago...As far as the topic goes I to have hard time at times doing what I ought to do rather than what I want to do and have to remember what one of my first sponsors said"only the disiplined are free" sometimes I just got to force myself to do the things I don't want to do and always seem to feel better afterwards.Someone said it a little earlier here"Easy does it...but do it.I too have gone a few years between meetings and all I can say is my life suffered for it.My HP saw fit to keep me from drinking but my thinking was not at all what I'd call good.Dry drunks suck.My first time posting here and would just like to thank those that have posted and let you know that you and regular f2f meetings have given me back the peace I so enjoyed when I was newer and ernestly working the program...Sorry if this is a bit of a ramble,thanks again,think I'll keep coming back. :)
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Time: 2:46:40 AM
Hi, I am Jack a real alcoholic. To Susan. Don't worry about what other people think as far as you're being alcoholic or not. Just ask yourself a simple question. Are you alcoholic enough for you? Thanks and God Bless you Susan.
Member: Jack B
Location: Palo Alto, Pa
Time: 2:58:53 AM
Hi, I am Jack, a real alcoholic. To Kenneth, If you have not had a drink today, you are in good standing in Alcoholics Anonymous, wheteher you choose to go to a meeting or not. I stayed away from meetings for about 3 1/2 to 4years.The only thing I got out of just not drinking was misery.I have celebrated 14+ years of continouse sobriety. For me there is an old saying.Life is life, joy is optional. For me the joy of living began when I returned to the meetings in 1994 and made a committment to A A and our twelve steps. If my life doesn't get any better than it is at this moment, no regrets, no qualms, no looking back, I have been blessed by the Grace of God and the Fellowship of A A. Welcome back friend.
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Time: 3:27:24 AM
((Shelley S.)) Here is a listing of Tomball meetings: http://www.aahouston.org/cgi/search.cgi
Member: Jan BB
Location: Paris, France
Time: 3:37:46 AM
((Shelley S.)) Sorry, go to the above link, click, click Return to AA Houston Search Page, type in Tomball in city location and click search button, you will get the Tomball meetings.
I got this information off ((Glen's site)) http://www.ghaubold.com/Recovery.htm
Member: dave z
Time: 12:14:41 PM
Hi all! Hey Robin, you might know me from a page over at the CP. If so, you probably know my obsession with quotes. If not, then "Hi, I'm Dave and I have a fasination with quotations!" This habit came about when I realized how easily I could usually apply my alcoholism to these quotes and turn them into mini-meditations for myself. Soon I was comparing all my situations in regards to my alcoholism. Now it's almost second nature for me to do so. Hope this helps.
Time: 12:24:16 PM
Alcoholic, I am. Big Book states "do the next thing that is in front of us". In active alcoholism, I had a heck of a time finishing projects that did not interest me. In sobriety, the mundane jobs, the ones I'd rather not be doing, I just do them without thinking about not wanting to do them. The other more enjoyable tasks never seem to be a problem. I list what is most important to the least important on paper and then begin with the top one (always remembering that perfection is not mine and that I must remember I'm important to; so I'm on that list too) and do that first one till it's finished, take my pencil and scratch it off; and then continue down the list. I have yet to complete everything that I wrote down on a list, and I think it's because I think I'm still super-woman but I'm not really. Oh! I also put on that list HP because invariably He has something for me to do/ plus I leave time available just incase some one needs me. Staying focus took years for me to learn how to do but not necessarily so for you, Robin. Each one of us is different and this is what I'm constantly learning: what works for one does not necessarily work for another. Have you asked your sponsor for suggestions? They seem to been here before us and can help. Thanks for the topic and y'll have a sober day.
Member: Sam B
Time: 1:12:56 PM
Good morning, I am Sam and I am an alcoholic. A little over a year ago I finally admitted to myself that I was an alcoholic and truly needed to get sober. I also realized that there was no way in hell that I could do it alone. I found a meeting and began attending regularly 3 to 4 times a week. I made it through a month, got my 30 day chip.....and then stopped going. I remained "sober" for another 8 months without attending meetings and thought I had this thing whupped! And then I had a slip. I went on a 3 day drinking binge. Sinse then I have gone another 4 months without drinking but see now that "not drinking" is not enough. However I still have not been able to get myself to a meeting. I just don't seem to be able to motivate myself.
Member: Richard D.
Location: Centreville, Va.
Time: 3:11:44 PM
My name is Richard and I am an alcoholic. I too have been in and out of AA for a long time. The last time I took a drink was over four years ago. I decided to do it on my own. I didn't need AA besides I had some resentments against some of the people in the program. I used those resentments against certain people to judge AA as a whole. A few people in AA are screwed up, therefore the whole program is screwed up. I refused to look at the miracle of AA. Things seemed to go well for a while. I bought a house, car and got married and recieved a college degree and had a good job. These were my gifts of not drinking and I didn't need AA to get it. Despite all that I was miserable. My marriage fell apart. Bills started piling up. I got fired from my job and I was in a new relationship that was headed for destruction. I was in a lot of pain with no where to turn. AA screwed up my drinking. I couldn't go back to that mess. It would only get worse and I knew it. I found myself crying regularly like I never have during my life. I now have two charges pending against me (assault & tresspassing) and am looking at spending up to two years in jail because I was ill equipped to accept life on lifes terms. I have since come back to the program. I attend 8-10 meetings weekly. Contact my sponsor daily, pray, talk to newcomers, do service work 3 times a week and try my best to practice the principles in all my affairs. Right now, I feel that I can accept anything that comes my way. If GODS will for me is to spend time in jail, then so be it. I will try and make the best of a bad situation. I don't have to have a woman right now. GOD will put one in my life when he thinks I am ready. Things are so much better now. I just hope I never lose the willingness to continue doing what I am doing. Like my sponsor says, "Pain is a great motivator". If you don't have the motivation to do what it takes, remember the pain and pray for the willingness. Or maybe you need to suffer some more. I just hope that if anyone choses the ladder, they make it back without killing thierselves (quickly or slowly) or someone else. Anyways, thanks for reading my stuff.
Time: 6:04:05 PM
It's not God's Will for you to be in such a miserable existence, it is the confusion that the world and its lies are always throwing at you that's got things so mixed up! I could go on and on about this with my own experience, but suffice it to say that what I had to do was leave all the lies and confusion behind and find my own way, and it was by no means easy! Nothing I have wanted to do to improve myself was ever easy! A perfect example of what I am trying to say can here be found at,
If anyone ever told me I would be writing such things at that time of slavery, I would've said they were mad! Maybe it will help you.
Location: END OF A PENIS
Time: 6:56:58 PM
adam, you proved yourself a dickhead(which frankly,depending on whose dick it was the head of,may be a very cool thing to be.but in your case dickhead N/G)like so many other dickheads do by introducing themselves more than once in their introduction.but your less a dickhead than the ENORMOUS DICKHEADS THAT,IF THE SPEAK 10 TIMES AT A MEETING MUST SAY THIS DICKHEADED THING "MY NAME IS_______(DICKHEAD) AND I,M STILL AN ALCOHOLIC" but my money is on YOU DOING THAT AS WELL, RIGHT DICKHEAD?
Time: 9:27:59 PM
Member: G Rea
Time: 12:00:04 AM
Hi I'm G and I'm an alcoholic. Robin I was always told we have alcoholism not wasm. As far as finishing things take things one day at a time or break it down into moments or even seconds if you have too. Kenneth I would get back to meetings but you have to want it so good luck to you and maybe pray about it it's his time not ours. Michelle, Justin, and Susan same to you's break it down and remember one day at a time. Also for Susan no matter what other people think you are the one who has to decide whether your an alcoholic or not but I believe you think you are or you wouldn't be here. Possibly if you ask yourself the right questions you will get answers such as I don't drink everyday but when I do I can't stop. This is a simple program for complicated people and yes this too shall pass but it's really simple. Another miracle for me another 24. Thanks everyone for being here for me. E-mail me if anyone wishes Grea105@cs.com
Member: bert gari
Time: 12:10:08 PM
if you have a love of the big book or a desire to learn at 1:00pm go to www.unhooked.com and hit chat
Member: Stephanie P
Time: 12:17:46 PM
My name is Stephanie and I am an alcoholic. I never thought I'd ever have a problem with alcohol. After divorcing my husband (who is probably an alcoholic), I began raising my one-year old son alone. (Although, in truth, I had been raising him alone since he was born). I didn't start drinking until he was about two. Alcohol was the only escape I could find...I was stuck at home, not having money for a babysitter and no close friends with whom to leave my son. I remember being very hung over on an important holiday - either his 3rd birthday or Christmas. (Maybe both for all I know or remember!)
So it was about 7 years ago that I started drinking. I had been a single parent the entire time. Now I am engaged to be married to the most wonderful man I've ever known. My son and I moved in with him recently. I spent last evening doing my taxes and drinking a bottle of wine...which I started drinking and finished drinking by myself. My great guy must know...I doubt I can hide it so well that he didn't sense I had been drinking.
Anyway, I'm also bulimic...have struggle with that since I was a teenager.
I'm thinking about going to my first AA meeting today (not including this online one). I'm scared. I don't want to keep drinking and mess up all that is good in my life. How do I tell my fiance?
Thanks for "listening."
Member: Madeline S.
Location: L.I. New York
Time: 3:48:24 PM
Hi I,m Madeline and an alcoholic For this alcholic AA works real good. I go to meetings, read the literature, call my sponsor and other members, take commitments, go out speaking and thank my HP daily for this gift of sobriety. I tried to stop on my own and lasted 4 months-with AA it's over 6 years. I pray I never think I recovered.
Time: 4:30:26 PM
bite me you all
Member: chris H.
Time: 4:30:27 PM
CHRIS HERE-alcoholic/addict/bulimic...where is everyone? Two great topics...keeping focused and going to meetings...seems to me that the second really helps the first...I, too, have real trouble keeping focused on the small and big things...my spiritual advisor told me yesterday that I have a real problem keeping focused on my HP(GOD)...I let any crisis, especially ones concerning my husband, get my focus off of Of GOd and onto the problem...Rather, I should "let go and let God".. and remember that I am NOT GOd and neither is any other person,namely ,my husband. THat is where the serenity comes from....Now,If I can just learn that in my reality. I , too, have a bit of sobriety and have not been to meetings on a regular basis in about 4-5 years...Just the other day a got a bit of the serenity that I used to get at every meeting...I could not believe how at peace I was...My stomach had NO knots in it ...I didn't realize that I have a knoted up stomach all the time when I am not in meetings...I felt so good and so serene...Meetings are worth going through all the fear and frustration of getting there. TO have that feeling throughout life is the way I want to live.... THank GOd for this program and this website...
Member: Linda W.
Time: 4:49:09 PM
Member: Linda W.
Time: 4:53:19 PM
Kenneth- I went to meetings for a year or so and stayed dry for 8 3/4 years, "on my own" and then relapsed in a more horrible way than I care to express for over 2 years. Reentered recovery and hit on an average of 3 meetings a week now- work with a sponsor and so far, am coming up on 4 years of the best quality of life I have ever experienced. Church, studies and friends help too, but I will NEVER go it alone without meetings again. Beleive what you hear, it is WORSE after relapse and it sounds like you are on a good dry drunk now- go back and be honest. Blessings to you!
Member: Ron L
Time: 8:16:36 PM
Hi,My name is Ron and I am an alcoholic.I to find it difficult to attend meetings hence my reason for writing here.I heard at one meeting that if u miss a meetin for 7 days it makes one week.Hope you guys get it.
Time: 11:49:11 PM
Hi all it's G again and this message is to Stephanie Honesty is the best policy and to thine own self be true. Do the next right thing whatever you think it is but you can't start a marriage on lies. Good luck and send me a note if you'd like to talk. Grea105@cs.com. G
Time: 11:51:44 PM
Hello- I have been trying to get a 12&12 online, but can't seem to find one. Any suggestions? Also, I think this a great supplement to A.A. & will continue to check in w/ you. I have been sober 3Yrs. & although sometimes I do "spin-out", this program saved my life & I'm grateful to have found my God within the rooms. -D.
Member: Robin A
Time: 12:20:34 AM
(((Dsatchmo))) Try this~loads of useful literature as well as the 12X12
Thanks (((All))) who have shared their E, S & H with me this week. Love, Robin
Time: 9:16:54 AM
Dear Robin and Kenneth....the best solution to both of your worries is to...KEEP COMING BACK. This program is not complicated. It's amazing how difficult it is for us to get this. (me too of course). When I go to meetings I automatically feel better...one reason is because I'm practicing willingness. Willingness is one of the most important elements of our sobriety. Just tell me how "willng" any of us were in our old days. Please...do yourselves a favor, keep it simplie and keep coming back!!
Member: Jared R
Location: Lebanon Ohio
Time: 11:33:56 AM
I am trying to find a Friday night meeting in my area. If anyone know of one close to Lebanon Ohio please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Time: 8:54:48 PM
GAGE, if a guy who has 10 days 8months or 40yrs not drinking goes back drinking today, you then have 11months more than he has. Most of what you are trying to say is a lot better than I have heard off a lot of oldtimers, so keep the good stuff rolling.
Time: 9:34:00 PM
KENNETH, AA will 'set' your thinking right? What does that mean?
Member: Ann M
Location: Merimbula Australia
Time: 12:08:34 AM
Hi my name is Ann M. and I am an alcoholic\ I have read all the sharings from this week and I have got a lot out of it. It means going to meetings, going to meetings and going to meetings: accept support from other alkies and admit that "I am powerless over alcohol" - I have not had a drink today - but I did yesterday. What an achievement! Lots of love to all. Ann M
Member: David J
Time: 3:54:21 AM
Thank you both for the topics. This is amazing, my first time doing a cyber meeting. Maybe more amazing is the topic which is exactly where I am at.I have been away from meetings for about a year.I have been sober for 9 yrs and trying to get back to meetings. I am reluctant because I think I would find it unconfortable, but I know it is very important that I do get back either in person or online. As for organization, I went to a check up for my son for Attention Deficit Disorder and found out I have it. Progress not perfection. God Bless
Time: 7:15:51 AM
Today thanking God for the freedom of choice I have.Some of the sharing I have read has brought back chilling memories of my last bust of about 10 years ago.Like standing at a railway station about 2 am on a week night.Permanently.Nowhere to go. Nowhere to go back to.At that point handing my will and life over to the care of god seemed about the only option.AS recovery goes on and the progress I have made in identifying and continually endevoring to recognise my character defects I still somehow manage to run on self will rather blindly from time to time. I am sure it is a matter of spiritual disipline,trusting God and taking it easy but doing it. Interaction with fellow members is of absolute importance for me and this is why I am sharing this because life for me nowdays limits the meetings I can attend. thanks fore sharing Kenneth.I appreciated that.
Location: Down Under
Time: 10:00:10 AM
my name is Bridget and I am an alcoholic, sober today through God as I understand and working the steps 24 hours at a time and thank God I dont have to do it perfectly (as was told to me in the beginning) "If something is worth doing it's worth doing poorly" It made no sense to me at the time but what wisdom!!! ....It took a lot of the perfectionism out of how I did life and when I could remember the "saying" I was able to lighten the expectations I had of myself and accept my humaness and I experienced a new kind of Freedom..... to make a mistake and to not get it quite right and to admit I dont know (hard for me cos I think I know everything!).... To face up and go to meetings as I was .....Sad Mad Bad Glad Confused Messy Manic I went no matter what....The Courage to live my life (Sober)comes with the suggested Actions never with my old idea type thinking ....or hiding away in isolation and I am glad I keep coming back....Its great to sober and to be able to share
Member: IAN F
Time: 1:52:20 PM
Hello,My name is Ian and i am an alcoholic,to michelle b,some advice i was given when i first went to AA "just keep coming back and don't take the first drink" i am 3weeks and 3 days sober and i still find it overwhelming,i am at step one and and still confused and that is progress from 3 weeks ago when i sat in meeting wondering what it was all about,now in that short time my life is changing,i was a daily drinker and i sat in the house every night getting drunk and making my wife and my 2 daughters miserable,i blamed everyone else for everything and felt the world owed me,now i am slowly gaining the love and respect of my family and through sober eyes i can see i was at fault and i thank my higher power they stood by me good luck
Member: PECO M
Time: 11:26:07 PM
im an alcholic my name is peco and i learned a long time ago (THE HARDWAY )to never let the things AA has given me take me away from the program of recovery that saved my life. NO AA,NO PEACE KNOW AA,KNOW PEACE
Member: Dee H.
Location: Magnolia, TX
Time: 8:02:56 AM
Shelly S., I live in your area and would love to take you (or meet you) at an AA meeting in Tomball, TX. I have been sober since 3/12/90 and am also an alanon. Thanks to Jan BB I know know where the meetings are in Tomball (I normally attend in Houston or the Woodlands). So, we could both be newcomers to a Tomball meeting together. I know that you have heard, "Together we can do what neither of us can do alone". Let's do this together, and we can both stay sober......Are you available tonight for the 6:30 meeting?