Member: THERESE
Location: SPAIN
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 14:29:45

Comments

Hi my name is Therese and I'm an alcoholic Any suggestions on "Live and let live" Thankyou. T.


Member: Tammy L
Location: NC
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 15:45:26

Comments

Live and let liv is a great way of saying "Judge not that ye be not judged," We do not know what another person has been through, so how can we pass judgement on them? We have no control over alcohol, but also we have no control over other people. Live and let live is a great slogan. Grateful to be sober for almost 2 years, grateful to God for helping me.


Member: Sally L.
Location: Washington
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 15:51:46

Comments

Hi my name is Sally. I'm an alcoholic and still struggling to quit drinking. I have drank 4 different times since deciding to quit New Years. I love not drinking. I'll call that living. Drinking is not living. I feel awful after drinking, not physically but mentally. My goal is to still not drink at all and I think I can do it. That will be my live and let live accomplishment. This was my first time on this discussion group. Thanks


Member: Karen W.
Location: Arkansas
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 15:57:58

Comments

Sally, I've stayed sober, one day at a time, by going to meetings. At first, I had to go to as many meetings as possible, sometimes twice a day. We need the support of others like us. We need sponsors especially. Choose yours carefully. You can do it if I can.


Member: Lynn A
Location: Birmingham, AL
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 16:05:05

Comments

lynn, alcoholic here, Sally I understand your struggle. My expereince has been that any attempt to stay sober was in vain unless I went to meetings, got a sponsor and started working the steps. I had to incorporate all these things together to stay sober. I had to want to stay wober more than I wanted to drink. Abandon yourself to this program. It really works. And you can see how it works in others by going to meetings and talking with other members. Good Luck on your journey. If it is anything like mine has been, there will never be a dull moment. thanks all of you for being here.


Member: John H.
Location: MN
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 16:19:13

Comments

Hi, I'm John H. I haven't paid much attention in the past to live and let live. Recently though I've devoted more effort to the steps, and by paying attention have found that I'm terribly judgemental of others. I'm trying to change this. I feel I realy have no right to get down on others, and it is probably a sign of me not being too happy about myself. IMHO, by paying attention to how you treat and what you say about your fellow man, you will eventualy help yourself become a better person. Not to mention simplifying your life by not having to worry about something comming back on you. It's a simple matter of accentuating the positive. Sally, meeting makers make it! I've found out the hard way. As they say: meetings, meetings, meetings, get a sponsor, join a group, get active. The rest will follow. And should you stumble, get up and continue. Don't worry about it. To give up is the worst you can do. All will come with time.


Member: Marie L.
Location: N.J.
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 16:44:03

Comments

I'm Marie and I'm an alcoholic. I have 2 teenagers and getting them to do chores is a task! I need to stop nagging. As to quitting drinking attendance at meetings is very important; also a sponsor. I'm coming up on 18 years February lst which I did a day at a timel The 24 hour book helps although I don't read it as often as I like to. I was determined to find this meeting because I as recovering from tendonitis which has set me back from recovery from a bone infection for which I had surgery for the end of November. The infection is gone however I'm on a walker. I've been praying a lot for acceptance. I had a simple fracture a year ago which turned into a shattered joint. The joint i shealed but I'm developing arthritis. My daugher needs to use the phone so I better stop. thank you.


Member: Debra H.
Location: California
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 16:49:27

Comments

Hi i'm Debra H. I have one year sober today,I have learned to live and let live in the past year. My first sponsor drank again when I had five months sober. This made me angry at first. Then I talked to many people and wrote about it and learned that what she was doing was none of my business. I know that I need to let people do what they need to do. God has different paths for us all to follow.


Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 17:02:39

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here (((ROOM-HUG))) thanks for the great topic ((therese)) to ((sally)) had some really great mentors when i walked in the doors of AA, knowing that i had run out of answers that worked for my life, i was open to suggestions. So when the gal that took me to my first meeting said - make your bed everyday, pray on your knees that HP helps you be sober that day and after a day of sobriety, thank Him. go to at least one meeting a day, start your day over at any time and get a big book read 60thru63, 449thru452, and 83&84 daily, get phone numbers & use them, get a sponsor(same sex unless you're gay,so your focus is only on recovery) that would help me work the steps, (went thru 2 before i found one that would do that) at the meeting they said, keep the plug in the jug and hug the rug, (meaning dont go to slippery places) if the urge becomes too bad pick up that 10lb phone and call someone or get to a meeting. grab another alky (same sex) and move into their back pocket if they'll let you. find a bunch of alkys and just hang out. they also told me if i had any better ideas that i had probably used them up and thats why i was asking them for suggestions. they told me that if i wasnt ready to take their suggestions then to step over to the nearest bar and try some controlled drinking, if i was an alcoholic that the only thing that was going to save my life was to follow suggestions of those who knew how to stay sober and achieve peace in their lives. I listened, it worked from the first day i walked it the rooms. choosing to drink after you get here is not necessary cause AA hands you all the tools to stay sober. your choice, God be with you dear heart. My mom died 12 days after I got sober, good excuse to get drunk I thought but I honored her by staying sober and having a full life. Live and let live, my many 4th and 5th steps have exposed so many character traits (flaws and strengths) that when someone is acting out, it helps me understand where they are coming from and I'm able to live and let live, with compassion, by remembering similar situations and how i acted. Dear God please bless all who venture here, love and hugs, bon -- bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Kathy F
Location: Carlisle,IA
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 17:13:20

Comments

Hi my name is Kathy and I am an alcoholic and a drug addict.

To me "Live and Let Live" is the most important thing for me to remember right now in my recovery. I've been sober for several years and when I get into trouble it's because I'm not happy with someone else. It goes with acceptance for me. I have to remember that I'm living my life and have to responsible for me and let the others be responsible for themselves. It's when I start thinking that "they're not doing it the right way" (my way) that I can get into trouble mentaly. I have to take a step back and say "I hope that works good for them" and leave it at that.

Thanks, Kathy F


Member: eileen g
Location: connecticut
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 17:44:25

Comments

Just came from 3rd step meeting. It has been pouring rain all day = dark and dreary felt insides going down - sponsers words came back "move a muscle change a thought" How very good to be with you and how wonder-full those sharings. Brand new at being a widow at age 70 - it's scarry! Love& peace eileen


Member: Gil M
Location:
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 18:32:09

Comments

Live and let live. I feel that when we judge others we are really judging ourselves. Here is a simple exercise that I find works well. When communicating with another person.

Look at the person with full attention, appreciation and no judgment. When I am able to do this I feel calm what do you think the other person will feel?


Member: rica g
Location: nj
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 19:51:35

Comments

Live and let live. with my experience of observing others and myself, it is much easier to say than do. I try to remem ber that when ever I am or I see someone else judging another it is so they do not have to look at themselves. I know from my own experience that when I am passing judgement on another I am doing it to not look at myself. To not see my faults and defects of characther. We will never know who we truly are until we stop judging others and begin judging ourselves. who are we to take another person's inventory?


Member: tony g
Location: ma
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 20:39:16

Comments

when my drinking got out of control,that was me telling me how to live(and not a very good job)so,if i can"t even run my life how can i run someone elses,i do whats in front of me that needs to be done,the result,is Gods will.like it says in the bb.i wish people the best,but what they do is entirely up to them.i try to respect someone else by not budding in.to me thats live and let live. i"m tony,i"m an alcoholc


Member: Brian S
Location: Corsica PA
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 21:04:18

Comments

HI i;m brian still an alcoholic when itry to control any thing or anybody i know iam in trouble so i use the serenity and third step pirayer on page 63 of the BB and it works for me It really does! the big book says that by working the steps "we will quit fighting anything or anybody." IT does happen!


Member: Ryan S's Big Book
Location: Dusty, Ona Shelf
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 21:28:56

Comments

Ryan,

You appear to be the ONLY person here complaining about "Big Book recitors". Why do you suppose that is?


Member: Chuck K.
Location: Texas
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 21:35:54

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm Chuck and I'm an alcoholic. I've been sober all day and that, my friends, is a miracle of my Higher Power, whom I choose to call God.

Sally, welcome. You voiced the only requirement necessary to be one of us: your desire to stop drinking. Many people have already told you what works--this program of recovery coupled with the fellowship. Sobriety is just like God's Love, it's available to all who earnestly seek it. That has been my experience now for over 14 years. So,right now, I would recommend that you don't drink, read the Big Book, and give this program some time. Get to a face to face meeting and look for people who have got it. You'll know who they are. Hopefully you'll find someone near you like Bonnie or some of the other women who have already posted. Remember we all need you, too.

Therese, thanks for a great subject. I look forward to reading everybody elses' posts this week. The best advice I've ever found on live and let live is in the Big Book on pages 449-452. And I shall strive, one day at a time, to live my life as described therein.

God Bless all here. Keep on keepin' on. And we shall surely meet as we trudge the road to happy destiny.


Member: Kelley C.
Location: Dallas
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 21:36:22

Comments

Hi, I'm Kelley, alcoholic and drug addict. To me Live and Let Live means trying to get into acceptance and trying to not control people, places and things in my life. Thank God this program is only one day at a time because my character defects pop up continually but what happens now is that it is not as comfortable to stay in the pain they cause (progress not perfection. Sally, my heart goes out to you. But for me I had to throw myself into my aa program like I did my using and drinking. I went to 3 to 4 meetings a day for the first 9 months I was sober. I met people, got a sponsor and did what was suggested. It wasn't necessarily alot of fun but it beat the pain I was in every day using. The first thing I heard at my first meeting was that I didn't have to do anything else alone again. And I craved that. The women will walk with you all we have to do is reach out. That feels so hard but it is so worth it. Good luck.


Member: confussed
Location: lost in space?
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 22:07:48

Comments

about Ryan S's big book i don't see any comment that matches name would the person from dusty on a shelf tell me what your talking about?


Member: tom-a
Location: rochester, n.y
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 22:08:01

Comments

I'm powerless over alcohol and my name is tom first time here. gald to be hear. live and let live to me mean mind my own business so i will . thanks


Member: gary.S
Location: Philadelphia Pa.
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 22:21:56

Comments

Hello everyone,my name is Gary, and i'm an alcoholic.I will be sober 3 years on 1-29-99,and it's been a great three years for me.It's been a long hard road,but not feeling like that anymore is a sure gift from God.Nothing comes easy in life which i learned after getting sober.I had to work hard to get where i'm at.Early in sobriety ,it was suggested to me to get involved with AA.I became intergroup rep,for my home group,i did countless detoxes,rehab committments and now i am involved in the Philadelphia prison committee,which really keeps it green for me.I should have ended up in jail, with all the crap i did. I do not judge the people in prison,for i am no better than them.There for i "Live and let live" May your higher power be with you at all times. Thank you.


Member: BruceD.
Location: Upstate N.Y.
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 22:52:48

Comments

My name is Bruce and I'm and alcoholic and an addict. Sally, All I can say is go to meating and keep going back.I've been attending meetings for going on three years and I am still not confortable talking out.Going to meetings howver did convince me that I was an alcoholic and needed help.I haven't even read the big book yet.I'm in the process of it now, so thanks Bonnie C. for the insight on those pages. I'm going to start with those tonight. I guess what I'm trying to say is that some times the process is slow,but as I've always been told I'm going to keep coming back. Don't give up. If I can do it anyone can. Keep coming back.


Member: Laurie B.
Location: Maryland
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 23:04:25

Comments

Welcome, Sally. Great topic, Therese. I am Laurie and I am an alcoholic. I am grateful to be an alcoholic. Sally, go to meetings, get a sponsor. Take time in your early sobriety to build a strong foundation for your sober life through a home group, a sponsor and the steps. I want to live my life without anyone forcing their ideas onto me. In order to receive that space from others, I must be willing to give them the same consideration. I must be willing to accept that if your life style suits you, that is all that matters. My judgement of you and my opinions are not necessary. Taking care of my own life and responsibilities is all that I should be concerned with. My sobriety has truly been my greatest gift in life. Living my life on life's terms is far easier than trying to juggle the lies and deceit that went along with my drinking. Good luck, Sally. If I can stay sober, one day at a time, anyone can.


Member: Danny F.
Location: Fort Worth, (Cowtown) Texas, U.S.A.
Date: 24 Jan 1999
Time: 23:53:39

Comments

Hello, AA Brothers & Sisters!

Danny F. here, Alcoholic & Addict, just a Drunk, who don't drink, today! THERESE, Great topic! Thanks! SALLY, Keep comming back, IT WORKS! I know! It's kept an old Drunk, like me, sober, one day at a time, for 9 3/4 years, now, and, that's a MAJOR MIRACLE! Hang with the winners. They're the ones, who aren't getting drunk,or loaded. God loves you, & so do we.

You know, I used to be perfect! Thank God, I'm Getting better! If you don't understand this, then, hang around someone, who's perfect, for about thirty minutes! You see, perfection, is an was, one of my most glaring character defects. I'm, still not cured, but, thanks to God & this program, I am getting better. Fact is, nobody's perfect! As long as I don't expect them to be, I have very few dissappointments, with the people, I come into contact with. We ALL make mistakes! God forgives ALL mistakes! I can't, fairly, judge you, for something, that God forgives. That's playing God. I tried that, for a lot of years. It didn't work! I recall, the poet Gibran, who said, to the effect, that others are but mirrors, who reflect, that which we love/hate, within ourselves. Can I forgive, today, what is within myself? Yes, I can, today! On the other hand, I can choose, not to. I have that choice. Also, I can choose to live & let live, one day at a time, or, I can choose to form resentments, and die, from them, one drink at a time! Today, I know what choice I MUST make, inorder to stay sober. Thank you, God!

Thank you, Coffee Pot, for letting me share! Love you all.

Danny F. - "Just another old Drunk & Junkie, finally, learning how to live!"


Member: BRIAN
Location: RAPID CITY S.D.
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 00:02:03

Comments

HI I'M BRIAN AND I'M A ALCOHOLIC, A couple of yaers ago I was in Vegas for new years, A great place for a recovering drunk (no fooling, the AA works down there too) besides life's meant to a adventure and you'll know your working a good program when your sober among several thousand raving drunks on the strip .Anyway I was attending a meeting down there because thats what a good recovering drunk does (goes to meetings) when a trans -gendered person sat down across from me,now let me tell you that my mind was full of judgment of this person, until he/she began to share in the meeting and out this person mouth came good solid AA and not to mention the vary thing I needed to hear. Driving away after the meeting I began thinking that I know nothing about another person that would grant me judgment over them,I saw this person as just another child of God and what I thought was an open mind got opened alittle wider that day,I never will know who or what God will send his message to me through,as you might have guessed my soberity is indeed a open minded adventure, I wouldn't grow anyother way. If I want my freedom then I let others have theirs, live and let live, thanx...Brian.


Member: Al M
Location: Whiterock B.C.
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 00:10:06

Comments

Hi Iam Al an alcoholic and a terrible typist.What a great topic just what I neded to hear as lately I have trying to live another s life. Sober since 1978 and still can not beleive it!


Member: Lisa S
Location: Phila Pa
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 00:11:33

Comments

Hi everybody,Lisa here, alcoholic. Welcome Sally, keep coming back.I will suggest for you what the others have.Meetings, a good(step-oriented) sponsor, the BB & get right int your steps. I get so much peace & comfort from them. The Steps are my security blanket!! Live & let ive is sometimes hard for me as I am also co-dependent.I will see someone struggling & think if they would just do what I do they would be fine.Then Ihave to rememberthat I am not God & that everyone' path is different. I need to be grateful for where I'm at & because I'm sober.I am not the master of the universe or perfect & sometimes I need to keep my mouth shut & Live & lt live!!!!!!Take care & get another day. Love, Lisa


Member: Catherine B.
Location: St. Louis, MO
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 00:24:18

Comments

Hi. My name is Catherine, and I am an alcoholic. This is my first time here, but I have really enjoyed the sharing so far. I quit going to meetings about a year ago for all of the excuses I ever heard around the tables, but the minute I read the preamble on this site, I knew I was home. I have missed you all, but the truth is that I am scared to death at the same time.

Sally, welcome! And thank you for being here.

Live and let live is very hard for me. Always has been. The only way I have ever been able to incorporate it into my life is by staying in constant contact with my HP. On my own, I don't possess the unconditional love that philosophy requires! So, I have to say the serenity prayer, remember where I came from, and be of service to others - alot.


Member: Jeff S.
Location: Texas
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 01:39:08

Comments

Hi, Jeff , alchohlic here. For me Live and Let Live is a constant step toward learning humility. Once I acknowledge some of my own faults it quickly becomes clear that I'm no longer in any solid position to pass judgement on someone else. I said "learning humility" earlier because I am not always willing to look at myself. Its so much easier to look at someone else... BUT when the pain and strain get to be enough, I shut up, listen, and open my eyes and the world gets okay again for a while :). Thanks, grateful to be sober and clean tonight.


Member: Bill W
Location: NS, Canada
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 01:43:36

Comments

Morning all, Bill, alcoholic. Welcome Sally, please keep comming back. Several years ago, while fairly new in this programme I started to learn how to let others live as they want and to not interfere. At meetings I get to share my ESH and listen to others because they are entitled to have there say. I can't be judgemental. Nor can I tell anyone anything but if asked I will give an opinion for what it's worth. I have enough on my plate and need to deal with it on a daily basis. Thanks everyone. Hope you have another 24 hours of sobriety.


Member: Geri W
Location: Virginia
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 05:23:27

Comments

Hello family. This is Geri, a very grateful alcoholic. It is because of rooms like this and people like you that I am sober today. Thank you. Sally, welcome to our world. It's the best! ( notice I didn't say easiest ). Live and let live reminds me that I now now serve a new Master, a Higher Power whom I chose to call God. I am not in charge - of my life or yours. I just do the next right thing - after prayer and meditation. When I forget that - the restlessness and discontent that the Big Book warns us about - rears it's ugly head. I remember that my best thinking got me in a terrible mess - only following the Steps and trying to live the Program in all of my affairs keeps the sanity that God so graciously restored when I surrendered and asked for His help. So - I hang in there - let Him be the judge of me and everyone else. Try to stay out of His way and let the promises happen. Blessings to all. geri


Member: Perry / Martyr
Location: PA
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 07:56:02

Comments

Good Morning I'm Perry and I'm an alcoholic. This might be related to Live and Let Live. My sponser has told me that I must learn to forgive myself. This hits a blind spot with me. I am always willing and ready to forgive others, but it is true... I have a hard time forgiving myself. What with several 24's in the program, I am just starting to wake up to just how alcohlic I really am! My nickname is "Martyr" with good reason for that.

I just am so impatient, waiting to get by this hurt and anger.

Is it my old friend PRIDE in reverse?


Member: Butch S.
Location: Ridgeland Ms.
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 08:51:19

Comments

Hi Butch Alcoholic I have 6 years today.Which i did one day at a time A.A.meetings and most of all by the grace of GOD.And a good sponcer. If someone were to pay you ten cents for every kind word that you have spoken about people and collect five cents for every unkind word,WOULD YOU BE RICH OR POOR!!!I love life now that i'm sober.


Member: Stuart
Location: Ann Arbor
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 11:17:38

Comments

My name is Stu and I'am an alcoholic. If I drink 1 I'll drink 100. What's important to me sober (family, safety, anything) is not important to me when I pick up that first drink. It's not the caboose that kills you, it's the first one. I can never afford to forget this. My whole life, everything I value, rests on that one thing, not picking up a drink and trying to carry the message. Now, as far as live and let live goes, it's a great way to live, just as one day at a time is a great way to live. None of that will matter however, if I forget that I'am powerless over alcohol. And when I realize this, and the great release I have been given from the mental obsession, I truly am grateful. Action and attitude are the magic words. Thank you all for my sobriety.


Member: julie p
Location: madison, wi
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 11:19:32

Comments

hi, my name is julie and i am an alcoholic. The extent that i am willing to live and let live is in direct proportion to whether or not i am allowing God to be the director. if i am in charge then all i can see is the failings of everyone and everything, but if God is running the show and i am at peace with that(acceptance), then i can believe that everything and everyone is exactly where God put them. when i find myself judging others i have come to realize (through painful self-inventory) that the very thing i am judging in another is really something i am practising. a couple of weeks ago i realized why i have, for several months(years), noticed and judged others as spiritually arrogant. someone told me that I am arrogant!!!!!!!!!!! what a revelation! so today when i find myself thinking (judging) others i need to stop, take a good look at myself, and ask to be relieved of the bondage self. when i am able to practice that i am set free and so are the poor souls i hold hostage by my judgment. thanks for letting me share. peace.


Member: Corinne B.
Location: Camino, CA
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 11:28:23

Comments

'Mornin' All! Corinne, Alcoholic here, there & everywhere!

Happy Birthday, Butch! Sally, hope by now you've gone to a meeting and are hearing how impossible it is to stay sober by yourself. That's the reason AA was "born" - alcoholics not wanting to drink, realizing after many vain attempts at willing themselves not to, they drank again and again, just as you have... just as I did just 6 wks after my 6th AA birthday in '92, because I'd quit going to meetings, quit working the steps, quit following my sponsor's guidance, quit allowing myself to really live.

My first sponsor used to say about live & let live, this:

Let live and LIVE!!!

Thanks for being here for me today! We can stay sober, but "I" sure can't! Corinne


Member: Terri O
Location: Columbus, Ohio
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 12:10:53

Comments

hi my name is Terri and I am an alcoholic.

I am glad this topic has become focused on being judgemental, it is one of my worst character defects.

So I think I'll just listen this week. Thank you all for the comments, there are some excellent ones here.

Butch, congrats on 6 years! Keep comin' back, I need you!


Member: Jim J
Location: Bismarck,ND
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 12:47:01

Comments

Hi, My name is Jim, I'm an alcoholic and compulsive gambler. Been sober less than 1 year. A lot of good things have happened this year. My thoughts on live and let live is that we don't have to worry about what's going to happen to us as long as we treat each other with respect and not to judge other people until we walked a mile in their own shoes. I hope everyone has a nice productive day.


Member: Lynne T
Location: Calgary, Canada
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 12:57:42

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Lynne and I am an alcoholic. Welcome Sally and congrats to Debra. For me being only 9 months sober, it took me all my strength and focus just to go to as many meetings as I could in the beginning. I didn't talk, couldn't too afraid, so I sat and listened and listened and all of a sudden everybody said something that related to me. I was then "one of them", I was able to share then. The best thing I did was join a Big Book Study. Working the steps just seems to make sense to me. I have been easy to relate to them all so far, Just finished step 7. Live and let live for me has been like a ton of bricks lifted off my head. I try my best to not judge and when I sometimes do that little thing called my concience pricklys and reminds me not to. I cannot say enough to anyone about this program. I could not of got this far. I also know myself, that if I miss a couple of meetings my head get "turned around" and I get that "prickly" thing happening so I get my but to a meeting. I'm also very grateful for this site and take interest in what you people can teach me. Have a wonderful day all!


Member: Phillip M.
Location: N.W.T. Canada
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 14:07:51

Comments

Hi, I'm Phillip and I'm an alcoholic. In todays rapid communication and technology, I find how impatient humans hve become and more so for us alcoholics. I'm sitting here on the internet and wishing for the immediate cure to my problem with alcohol. Being frustrated with not getting what I want today, I ultimately forget to live for the moment and appreciate life. Rather, i get caught up in my own impatient self and find that I am quick to throw out any hope of recovery. I'm very tired of drinking and I wish I could stop. But its not that easy and it really bugs me that I can't stop!


Member: Chris H.
Location: Colorado
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 14:58:00

Comments

Hi, I'm Chris an alcoholic. Well, this topic is sure a painful one for me to listen to right now. I've read everyone's postings so far, and many were hard for me to read, because I am having a very difficult time letting go of things I want to control at this time. You each have stated things I really need to hear, and are making me focus on the topic, much to my chagrin.

Tammy L. pointed out, "We do not know what another person has been through, so how can we pass judgement on them?"

Thanks Tammy! I needed to hear this today. I've been having a difficult time understanding why someone I care about responds the way they do, but I am having to just let it go anyway, your words help.

Deborah H. said, "I know that I need to let people do what they need to do. God has different paths for us all to follow."

Deborah, this is great advice. Your words seem so obviously on track. I guess the serenity prayer will help me grasp this on an emotional level; because, while I see the logic of your words, I am having a very hard time accepting them. I am just having to stretch my faith in God's will right now to arrive at an understanding of "live and let live."

Thanks Kathy F., you had more painful but great advice for me to hear. I am really struggling with the thought that, "they're not doing it the right way" (my way) that I can get into trouble mentally. I have to take a step back and say "I hope that works good for them" and leave it at that." Now that is acceptance Kathy, and I know I must arrive at this understanding to have any peace of mind.

Gil M - You said, "Look at the person with full attention, appreciation and no judgment." This is very centered advice. I am able to do this when my relationship is right with God, but have difficulty when it is not. I guess right now, I need to focus on listening to my higher power.

"Live and let live. with my experience of observing others and myself, it is much easier to say than do." Ditto this Rica!! Right now this isn't easy for me to do, but I know it is the only way to go. No one can live my life for me and I cannot live theirs.

Danny F. - "Fact is, nobody's perfect! As long as I don't expect them to be, I have very few disappointments, with the people, I come into contact with." Thanks Danny, this is really good advice. I also have to remember to cut myself some slack, as well, and sometimes this is isn't an easy thing to do.

Julie P.- "God is running the show and i am at peace with that(acceptance), then i can believe that everything and everyone is exactly where God put them." Thanks Julie. This is always a good place to arrive at. I believe God lets us choose where we go, who we meet, and what we do; however, we can take the path of self will and go it alone to blunder along and get drunk, or we can choose God's will for us and experience more than we had ever desired possible. As someone recently pointed out to me, "God didn't put us on this earth to be unhappy." I just pray that I follow God's will on a daily basis so that I don't short circuit my destiny.

Each of life's encounters has a lesson for us to learn, just like this AA page has lessons for me to learn right now. I believe it is not so much what happens to us in our sober lives, as what we learn from each experience in sobriety, and whether we grow spiritually from these experiences, or whether we turn away from our lesson so that we have to repeat our mistake at some future time until we finally get it right. I believe we'll carry our defects until we let them go, and this is why I think "live and let live" is such an important topic for long term sobriety.


Member: andy g
Location: austin,tx
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 16:07:27

Comments

What are the consequences of not letting some thing "live and let live? that is generally enough of a deterant for me not to waste any energy, or risk probable repercussions.


Member: Luis S
Location: Mexico City
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 16:12:20

Comments

Hi. My name is Luis and I'm an alcoholic. This is the first time I join this group and I am shakin by the emotion. Through good will I can genuinely share the spirit of AAs around the world.

About Therese's interest I can say I'm still unable to practice "live and let live" particularly with my girlfriend, my mother and my boss at work. By the way, I'm 47 years old. I'm finding out that my difficulties come, in some degree from attitudes learned in my early childhood and strongly reinforced by 30 plus years of addictions.

I want to tell Sally that through the answers posted she is getting a glimpse of an universal spirit of AAs. A spirit that can help her and me day by day as long as we search for real happines and not for scapes through alcohol and/or drugs.


Member: Ladd G
Location: Wetumpka  Al
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 17:35:24

Comments

Hi Im Ladd Im alcoholic,I heard one thing concerning live and let live,expecialy inside the rooms of AA.( One drunk judging another?What a hoot!) some times I really just have to remember what I brought to AA when I came,(not much) then it helps me see other people in a lot different perspective.Really We are all just doing the best We can. thanks love Ladd


Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia, Canada
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 17:39:27

Comments

Hi Friends Bill, alcoholic. Phillip M (NWT) Bysaying you want to stop drinking is Tradition 3. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. Step 1 says that we are pwerles over alcohol and that our lives have become unmanagesable. With that I'll leave of with an invitation to keep coming on line and share with us. My E Mail is BillcaCan@netscape. net for any who wish to write. As Tiny Tim said " God Bless us each and everyone".


Member: KERRY F.
Location: DELAWARE
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 18:22:59

Comments

HELLO,I'M A ALCOHOLIC NAMED KERRY AND TO "LIVE AND LET LIVE" FOR ME MEANS NOT JUDGING OR TRYING TO DUPLICATE THE WAY OTHERS WORK THIER PROGRAMS.AND TRUST IN MY HIGHER TO ALLOW HIS WILL TO RAINE IN THE WORKING OF MY PROGRAM.THUS FAR THIS SEEMS TO BE WORKING FOR ME ONE DAY AT A TIME.MEETINGS AND PEOPLE ARE ALL DIFFERANT NO MATTER WHERE YOU GO.AND WHAT MIGHT WORK FOR ONE MIGHT NOT WORK FOR THE OTHER.BUT AS LONG AS THE RESULT IS THE SAME I SEE NO NEED IN INTERFERING WITH ANOTHERS WAY OF DOING THINGS.MY WAY WORKS FOR ME SO I KEEP ON WORKING THINGS THAT WAY.AND TRUST THAT MY H.P.WILL STEER IN THE RIGHT PATH.AND HE'S DONE THAT SO FAR,AS THE DESIRE TO DRINK STILL LAY'S DORMENT.WE WHERE TOLD EARLY ON THAT ONE'S OWN RECOVERY SHOULD ALWAYS COME FIRST.AND THAT HOLDS TRUE WITH THIS DRUNK TODAY.I'VE SEEN ON MORE THEN ONE OCCATION THE FELLOW WHO SEEMINGLY HAD IT ALL DOWN GO BACK OUT.SO TODAY I'LL SHARE WITH SOMEONE HOW I DO IT BUT MAKE SURE THEY KNOW THAT THIS MY PROGRAM.AND THAT THEY MIGHT BE BETTER SERVED SPEAKING WITH THIER SPONSOR ON SUCH MATTERS.AND I CERTAINLY NEVER GIVE THEM THE DO IT THIS WAY ATTITUDE.I WOULD NEVER WANT TO BE HELD RESPONSIBLE FOR SOMEONE GOING BACK OUT BY DOING IT THE WAY I TOLD THEM TO.ANYTHING ONE NEEDS TO KNOW CAN ALWAYS BE FOUND IN THE B.B.AND LIKE MYSELF INTERPRET THE WAY I READ THINGS TO BE.


Member: LfromHell
Location: California
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 18:54:33

Comments

The only way I can even begin to believe I can "live and let live" is to remember that this is an ACTION program, and that my thoughts and feelings have (in the end) really very little to do with what I choose to DO. Most often, the temptation is to act in every situation. With the pauses I am becoming more accustomed to in sobriety, where I consult God before diving in, I am able to choose the path of letting others live without my (questionable) help and guidance more and more these days. It ruffles fewer feathers and allows me to avoid having to make amends (another thing I realized quickly: once you've completed step nine, you CERTAINLY don't want to create any new resentments or harm anyone--we all know where resnetments lead us drunks!).

Anyway, God has given me the grace to go through life one day at a time without the agony that was active drinking, and while I fervently hope for you to get the same, that's up to you and getting myself in the middle of your stuff won't help you or me, and will probably make us both worse.


Member: Tom M.
Location: Saginaw, MI  USA
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 21:53:36

Comments

Tom M. Grateful recovering Alcoholic. Question I am the editor of our local newslettter. Is there a spot on the net where these are posted? I would like some new ideas and to share ours. God Bless

e-mail tommymac@cris.com


Member: richard m
Location: sarasota,fl.usa
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 22:17:04

Comments

hello my name is richard,iam an alcoholic.........if i just live my own life, mind my own business ( A.A. is my business)........let every one else live their lives the way they want to.......well things might just work out ok???????lots of love to all!!!!!!


Member: Joel J
Location: Las Vegas
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 23:01:17

Comments

Hi.My name is Joel and I am an alcoholic. I have been trying to quit drinking for years now and today is the beginning of the rest of my life. I have decided that today is the day I get help and guess what, this is where I am starting the process. Please send me your words of encouragement(lvjarvy@aol.com) because I know I will need them, for I know this will not be easy. But like they say, anything worthwhile is not easy. I have been drinking for probably 15 years now and cannot quit on my own. I plan on going to a meeting here in Las Vegas (ironic isnt it, where the drinks are free and the bars are open all night), so if you are from Vegas please contact me. Thank you all for you comments here about sobriety and I look forward to your wisdom. Live and let live to me means a little different to me today...I have lived a hard fought battle and I need to just let myself live for today without alcohol.


Member: MichaelP.
Location: Boston, MA
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 23:19:32

Comments

I am glad to find this resource. Thank you for all your good messages Love and gratitude, MP


Member: Rick K.
Location: Memphis, TN
Date: 25 Jan 1999
Time: 23:59:20

Comments

My name is Rick and I am an alcoholic. I have not had a drink since December 21, 1997 and am amazed and thankful for that. It is very difficult for me to get to meetings, so I'm glad to find this site. I drank for nearly forty years before finding A.A. At first I didn't really intend to quit, was just going to "slow down". Thank goodness someone there suggested that I try just one day without alcohol and to come back again the next day. Well, one day at a time I have made it thus far. Sorry if I strayed from the subject. Rick K.


Member: Cindy,S
Location: PA
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 01:09:42

Comments

hello my name is cindy and iam an alcoholic and an addict, thankyou all for being here for me, and God for putting this topic in my thoughts. For the past weeks someone that I thought of as a good friend has been suffering from denial and her disease and has been working over time with temptations to lure me with her. I have also found that she has spred viscious rumors about me that are not true. These rumors have been on going in the rooms. I feel ANGRY, BETRAYD and greatly DISSAPPOINTED in the way that I have been being treated by people passing judgments by these untrue rumors. It has effected my participation in my meetings, which I feel isolated by people that refuse to live and let live. In the same token, here I am doing the same as they were to me insted I to them. Insted of me feeling sad for my friends sickness and praying for her. I can only see red. Thanks for letting me share


Member: Geri W
Location: Virginia
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 05:55:47

Comments

Hi family. Geri , a very grateful alcoholic here. Great posts! First of all, happy birthday to Debra and Butch. And a Hope you're better to Marie. To the real newcomers - welcome. Feel free to keep in touch on the board. We'll try to help however we can - cause we all remember those first days. While most of us "old" alkies try to live and let live - we are most interested in helping you learn how to live. Find a meeting ( or a bunch of them ), don't drink and keep coming back.


Member: Lynn A.
Location: Birmingham, AL
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 07:38:24

Comments

hi everybody-lynn, alcoholic here. great posts everyone!! Cindy,as to what your going through, for me I have to remember that people in the midst of their disease are very sick. thats where I have to let people live and let live. Other peoples disease have no power over me as long as I'm working the steps, going to meeting, calling myh sponsor and above all helping other suffering alcoholics. The book says to abandon myself to God-I do this by practicing these steps to the best of my ability on a daily basis. Not perfectly, just the best that I can at a given time. If I do this-I will be in better condition to do God's will and I will continue to grow spiritually and reap the full benefits of this program. Everybody have a great day and thanks for letting me share! God Bless. Lynnbug10@aol.com


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 10:05:03

Comments

Good Morning! My name is Tom A. and I am sober today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this wonderful "live and let live" fellowship known as AA. Thank you Therese over there in Spain for suggesting this topic. It is one of the chiche, a trite expression, that has helped me in the day to day adventure in sobriety. Sometime later the word slogan, a distintive cry or phrase took over and finally I got it right. Who says you can't teach an oldtimer something Your suggestion got me to THINK about this MOTTOE which we find in the Big Book along with two others, and I quote "We have three litte mottoes which are apropos. Here they are: First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does It. I might add that my early sponsors told me to pay attention to the Italicized Words in the Big Book and I have found that to be helpful. I'm so glad that all of you are here to share you experience, strenth, and hope and I can assure you that you can always learn something new. Thank you Therese for helping me out from now on I will call "Live and Let Live" a motto!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Tom A.
Location: Carlisle, AR
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 10:05:38

Comments

Good Morning! My name is Tom A. and I am sober today by the grace of a wonderful Higher Power and this wonderful "live and let live" fellowship known as AA. Thank you Therese over there in Spain for suggesting this topic. It is one of the chiche, a trite expression, that has helped me in the day to day adventure in sobriety. Sometime later the word slogan, a distintive cry or phrase took over and finally I got it right. Who says you can't teach an oldtimer something Your suggestion got me to THINK about this MOTTOE which we find in the Big Book along with two others, and I quote "We have three litte mottoes which are apropos. Here they are: First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does It. I might add that my early sponsors told me to pay attention to the Italicized Words in the Big Book and I have found that to be helpful. I'm so glad that all of you are here to share you experience, strenth, and hope and I can assure you that you can always learn something new. Thank you Therese for helping me out from now on I will call "Live and Let Live" a motto!

God Bless - Tom A. ate@gte.net


Member: Kathy O.
Location: Elgin, Illlinois
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 12:19:57

Comments

Hi everybody. My name is Kathy and I'm a grateful alcoholic and SO glad to find you here online. I'm a Mom with a three and a half year old and a nursing (constantly!) four month old and have been going nuts since I can't get to many face to face meetings right now. The Grapevine helps alot, being married to soemeone in recovery helps too, but it is so important for me to be a part of something bigger-and here you are.

I found you last night but couldn't finish reading all the postings and get my two cents in until today. As far as "Live and let live" goes it is most important for me to remember that I am NOT in charge and that God is and I just have to let him be. For me that means that I have to let everyone do what they need to do in order to get where they need to be. We all have a path to follow and my BEST thinking got me here today, so how would I possibly know what is good for someone else.

Thanks for participating in my sobirety today. Happy Birthday to all the Birthday people and welcome to the newcomers-we all only have this day, this hour, this minute, sometimes this second.


Member: joe
Location: va.
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 12:52:58

Comments

i'm joe alcoholic, lots of good and encouraging things to read,thanks to all. i'm a beginner, so "keeping it simple" is the only way i've found that works for me.thanks ,geri w, go to meetings,stay sober,and keep coming back! staying sober is the only way i can live and let live,for if i drink, it will be dying and be dead


Member: molly f.
Location: park hills, ky
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 14:20:43

Comments

hola to teresa...thank you for opening the discussion with this topic...lately i've been asking myself the same question...live and let live...whenever i question whether i'm doing the right thing...i ask myself what would my mother do in this situation. that way i'm assured i'll be doing the right thing. it took aa and the twelve steps to make me realize that i don't handle situations too gracefully...but i'm learning through meetings and the friendships i've made that there is indeed a great life for everyone who dares to look for it.

thanks

molly f


Member: Sue M.
Location: Warren, MI
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 15:22:08

Comments

Hi, my name is Sue and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for everyone's input on the topic, "Live and Let Live". I need to always be reminded to let things go, that I am not in charge, and to remember that my God had and has a plan for everyone else just as he has and had for me. I'm working on letting go of "a situation" now, that I really need to practice forgiveness of a person who violated me (my house). I have to believe that there is a Divine Plan in everything, including this situation. It may not always be to my liking, but I believe that God will take care of me. Thank God for AA and thank AA for God. We are all blessed survivors of the disease, and I'm grateful.

With love, my brothers and sisters in AA,

Sue M.

smooney@kohp.com


Member: Bruce A.
Location: Bovard,PA
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 17:12:43

Comments

Hi Family, My name is Bruce A. and I am an alcoholic. Thanks for the topic Therese and everyonne,s Comments. Who am I to Judge others. We are all human and are going to make mistakes. I do have to take responsbility for my actions today. I just had a an insurance company ruin my day. I could let this fester in my mind and ruin more of my time or turn it over to my H.P.I have chosen the latter. Tonight I am going to The Greensburg Group of A.A. for their 52nd anniv. A.A. does work. Love you all,Bruce A.


Member: Teri F.
Location: Nashville, TN
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 17:13:17

Comments

Hi, Teri-alcoholic here. Ah, Live and Let Live. Thats a very good one. Thats where I learn I am not the center of the Universe and the world doesn't revolve around me and my opinions - regarding AA or otherwise!!!! That slogan reminds me of surrenduring the illusion of control over others, that I can determine outcomes and people's behavior. I had a very painful experience being on the other end of someone in the fellowship NOT practicing that. This woman lived above me for a few years while we were both in early recovery. We found out all sorts of personal character defects about each other. Despite this, I still honored her as a friend and fellow recoverying alky. Unfortunately, she couldn't return the favor. After a few years it has come back to me that this woman had decided to appoint herself "The person who will tell you about someone you don't know". She had told (particularly men) the fellowship all sorts of things about me, essentially painting me as psychotic. I was devastated, my trust in the individuals in the fellowship and sharing my honest self became seriously jeopardized. It still hasn't lead me to drink, but I am very careful now about who gets close to me and what I share (I never felt that way in 7 years of recovery) Now I am going on 9 years and still see this woman at meetings. I don't spread rumors about her or act nasty. I simply hold my head up and keep on trying to get the message. She's trying to recover too, and I respect her for that. The herculean effort in doing that for me is Live and Let Live. I refuse to do that same behavior because I am hurt. And I truly do believe that what goes around, does come back around. I now realize we are not perfect in this program, just the suggestions and principles we try to learn are. My sobriety is more important than anything, and yes, even more than what others think of me. (BOY, is THAT recovery for me!!) Happy 24 everyone, and sure as hell hope my experience doesn't happen to you! And I LOVE the phrase "Move a Muscle, Change a Thought"! Thanks!


Member: Chris V.
Location: Belleville, Il.
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 19:24:01

Comments

Hi everyone! My name is Chis and I am an alcoholic, sober 118 days. I just wanted to say that I'm grateful to be sober today and thank you all for being here!


Member: Kathy A.
Location: Georgia
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 20:18:27

Comments

My name is Kathy A., and I need/want to stop drinking. I understand the importance of going to meetings, but I'm in a unique situation. I live in a very small town in a "dry" county, and the AA meetings are held in the church where my husband pastors. If I were to attend, there would be untold damage to his ministry. What can I do? Maybe I can find the support I need here.


Member: Bruce M
Location: Ontario, Canada
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 20:55:12

Comments

Hi, I am an alcoholic and my name is Bruce. I heard this at a meeting and it has stuck with me ever since: "You have every right in the world to be wrong, and I have absolutely no right to interfere with that!" Anytime you feel the need to step in to someone else's life, may I suggest page 449 of the Big Book. God bless you all with another 24 hours.


Member: Shirley M.
Location: Brisbane CA
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 21:01:18

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Shirley and I'm a alcoholic. So wonderful to read everyone's thoughts on this great topic. First, Happy Birthday Debra and Butch. One of the things that I found out was that we are not all working on the same defect at the same time and except for a few of them, mine are alive and well. I'm usually very compassionate but lately my will has been running rampant and I found myself doing a character assassination and within minutes I felt uncomfortable. There was a innocent person listening to my garbage and I had to get humble and apologize. When I say God isn't through with me yet, I have to remember everyone else is a work in progress. I for one am glad the journey never ends. Love to all!


Member: Phil D.
Location: Dayton,  OH
Date: 26 Jan 1999
Time: 21:23:40

Comments

Kathy A., please don't take this the wrong way. When I first got sober, I was scared out of my wits that someone would "find out" I was an alcoholic or that someone would spot me going into a meeting. I was all wrapped up in myself in fear of what AA would do to my reputation. I am happy to report that four years and many many meetings later, I have regained the respect of many in my small community and at church. Some food for thought; what is your drinking currently doing to your husband's ministry? If the worst thing that happens is that you get sober how bad could other consequences possibly be. And if you don't get sober what will the future hold for his ministry. The good guys will understand and the ones who don't, if there are any, well... "Live and let live"! A saying in the Grapevine (an AA magazine -www.aagrapevine.org) really helped me when I first came around and was trying to decide if I had a problem YET. It stated "I hit bottom when I put down the shovel". At least attend one meeting as a guest to find out if you are an alcoholic. If any outsider sees you there, tell them you are auditing the meeting! Once at the meeting you can ask others for a directory to other meetings in the area and maybe get a ride from someone even. I don't know where you are located but in our area there are 350 meetings a week. Remember always, the third tradition... " THE ONLY REQUIREMENT FOR MEMBERSHIP IS A DESIRE TO STOP DRINKING". Don't worry about the rest of your fears. I drank one day at a time; I stay sober one day at a time. It really is that simple. Thank you all for being here for a drunk like me. ODAAT Phil D.


Member: Nerice K.
Location: S.Cal.
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 01:08:29

Comments

Hi All! I'm Nerice, alcoholic! Just found this group and appreciated the comments I've read! On the topic of Live & Let Live! One of the sure signs for me that I'm in relapsing behavior is when I slip into judgementalism! Reminding myself helps me turn the judgementalism around! Had 15 years sober last November.....don't go to meetings much anymore, and can feel that I need you all....and need to get back to meetings! I can really identify some days with the term 'dry drunk'...glad you're all here!


Member: Jean S.
Location: California
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 01:17:54

Comments

Welcome to the newcomers, AA's life blood. Happy Birthday to all of you that have celebrated another year of real living..God knows what happened to all of us before that meaningful date was only a horrendous effort to survive another 24 hours. This program has given me a life, a real life that lets me know who I really am and what I must do to stay sober for another 24 hours. The BB tells us that we must keep our own house in order and for me that is a lifetime job. I can't be mapping out another's road to recovery if I want to concentrate on my own. That makes Live and Let Live very clear to me..besides I don't want to feel that pain again that comes with the "if onlys". Kathy, my heart goes out to you. But the advice to find a meeting and some AA's that you can bound with in another area close to you is such a solution to your dilema. Contact the Central Office which must be listed in your phone book and the Central Office and they will let you know when and where..and you can remain ANONYMOUS. You will know, with your HP's help when you are ready to let your own community know you have made a courageous decision to take your life back. You are not alone! He is with you always, and so is AA. God Bless and help you to just put one foot in front of the other. That is the way we all started on this journey. It will give you the peace you are looking for...One Day At A Time.

so Live and Let Live is very clear to me . s what went before that was oonly painful ex


Member: Jean S.
Location: California
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 01:18:19

Comments

Welcome to the newcomers, AA's life blood. Happy Birthday to all of you that have celebrated another year of real living..God knows what happened to all of us before that meaningful date was only a horrendous effort to survive another 24 hours. This program has given me a life, a real life that lets me know who I really am and what I must do to stay sober for another 24 hours. The BB tells us that we must keep our own house in order and for me that is a lifetime job. I can't be mapping out another's road to recovery if I want to concentrate on my own. That makes Live and Let Live very clear to me..besides I don't want to feel that pain again that comes with the "if onlys". Kathy, my heart goes out to you. But the advice to find a meeting and some AA's that you can bound with in another area close to you is such a solution to your dilema. Contact the Central Office which must be listed in your phone book and the Central Office and they will let you know when and where..and you can remain ANONYMOUS. You will know, with your HP's help when you are ready to let your own community know you have made a courageous decision to take your life back. You are not alone! He is with you always, and so is AA. God Bless and help you to just put one foot in front of the other. That is the way we all started on this journey. It will give you the peace you are looking for...One Day At A Time.

so Live and Let Live is very clear to me . s what went before that was oonly painful ex


Member: Carol D.
Location: Dallas,  Ga.
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 01:37:16

Comments

Hi Everyone! Welcome to all the new people! Congrats to the ones with new birthdays. Thanks Terese for the topic.

Live And Let Live.....The longer I work the AA program, live the AA life the easier this becomes. I must remember we have a Higher Power and I am not her. No one appointed me to be the AA police, I have enough to do keeping me sober.<G>

In the spirit of fellowship, Carol


Member: Chris
Location: Colorado
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 01:43:56

Comments

Chris here, an alcoholic. I am so greatful right now for this posting, you all have been my life blood lately. I'm having one of the roughest times of my life right now, but you want to know what, I have survived worse and stayed sober. My friends, true friends in the program, are here for me now. They are gold, and fortunately for me, they are unconditionally accepting, and they're allowing me to just be who I am. Right now they're all I have, God bless them for being here for me right now. God's will can be quite ironic at times, because "live and let live" is all I can do. I could use a few prayers. Thanks to all of you sober drunks who share your honest experience, strength, and hope, may this come back to you all ten fold.


Member: Al K
Location: PA, USA
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 05:53:43

Comments

Al, alcoholic, first time on the list, thanks everyone for sharing, great stuff here, I have mentioned it to others in the fellowship. Live and let live means to me to give up control and keep the focus on me. Stop fighting everyone, everything, especially myself, read a saying from a grapevine, "Who and what are you fighting, that you are willing to die early and live in hell until you die. Living in hell existed when I was drinking, and I would rather live in peace. Be well everyone, In fellowship AL


Member: Wladimir N.
Location: Paris, FRANCE
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 11:16:45

Comments

Hi, I'm Wlad and I am an alcoholic in recovery. To live is pretty tough when you wake up with no energy whatsoever and no ideas of what to do. I can see myself becoming a sober bum... To let live is even harder because I am currently obsessed by a woman. I mean, I let live becaume I am a polite (read: wimpy) shmuck who won't fight for his love, but it's hard to let go when images of her constantly fill my mind. I guess I'll try praying.

Anyway I'm thankful that all this has not led me to a drink yet!

Wlad


Member: Frank N.
Location: Johannesburg, Republic of South Africa
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 15:04:49

Comments

Hi, my name is Frank, I am an alcoholic. Thanks to the AA program I did not find necessary to pick up a drink today. To me 'live and let live' is identical to 'let go and let God'. My experience is that whenever I am emotionally or spiritually low I pray for guidance. It's amazing how quickly I spring back to life. I TRY each day to place my trust in Him. Trying to control or manipulate people or situations has brought me a great deal of frustration. Recovery through the AA program has brought me joy and freedom beyond my wildest dreams!


Member: Kent H.
Location: lovingitsoberinTN
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 15:07:46

Comments

Kent, alcoholic. To me, Live & Let Live is simply putting the Serenity Prayer into action. Food for thought: we tend to judge others by their ACTIONS; yet we judge ourselves by our INTENTIONS. What's wrong with that picture? Thanks for letting me share. Remember: if you are a sober alcoholic, you are truly a miracle! Love to all, Kent.


Member: Dale S.
Location: California
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 17:15:44

Comments

"Live and let live", great topic. What I get from this is don't criticize others. Don't place stumbling blocks in your brothers way. Don't gossip or undermine others. Mind your own business and don't to get speck out of someone's eye when you have a plank in yours.

There are 3 apropos at the end of Chapter 9 they are: First Things First, Live and Let Live, Easy Does it. I have never hear anyone pick Live and Let Live as a topic. The following statement is brought to mind when I think about live and let live. "We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others." Of course we should stop trying to control others lives because when things don't turn out the way we want them to we get upset. Resentment and anger are more subtle foes. How many times have I heard the term "justified anger" used. When we concentrate on the bad others have done to us we cut off the sunlight of the spirit. Why do we concern our selves with such things. Why do we let the actions of other dictate how we are to act or feel. My motto for life is to live each day as if it were your last. When you know you are always facing death you put away all quarrels. Ask your self " If this is my last day on Earth would I waste it dunk or angry?" Would I spend it hating others? Or would you spend it enjoying the sights, smells, and sounds that you will never feel or see again. The hug of your children and lovers, it is a priceless gift.


Member: TOM M
Location: OMAHA
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 21:26:39

Comments

HI, I'M TOM AND I'M AN ALCOHOLIC. CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE BIRTHDAYS AND WELCOME TO THE NEWCOMERS. I LIKE THIS

GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY TO ACCEPT THE PEOPLE I CANNOT CHANGE

THE COURAGE TO CHANGE THE PERSON I CAN

AND THE WISDOM TO KNOW THAT PERSON IS ME.

RESENTMENTS IS WHAT WAS MY FAVORITE REASON TO DRINK AND THE BB TELLS ME THAT IS THE THING THAT DESTROYS MORE DRUNKS THAN ANYTHING ELSE. SO IF I DON'T LIVE THE STEPS AND TAKE CARE OF MY OWN LIFE I'LL BE BACK OUT THERE. THANKS FOR BEING HERE AND I'M VERY GLAD TO BE SOBER AND GLAD YOU ARE TOO.


Member: Hollywood
Location: Cambridge Idaho
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 21:32:08

Comments

To live and let live to me and my sobriety, means to let each day take you one day at a time, and it let's me take individgeuals as they are.Iam greatfull not to have to drink today just because I did not like somthing someone did or said.It also mean's taking on responsability for our actions before and after our recovery begins. Being in controll of your emotions and knowing what you are feeling is a big part of living.I am happy to be sober 4months today.Glad to here from everyone and may God bless each and everyone of us.


Member: Bill J.
Location: South  Texas
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 22:39:20

Comments

Hi Bill here. Live and let live can be a hard one at times. At work would want to set some people straight and my fellow worker (Tom in the fellowship) would tell me "they will figure it out" and he was right if we tryed to tell them there would be a fuss and if we let them figure it out and they were wrong they would figure it out. To the newcommers to the program and thoes struggling with soberity "don't quit QUITTING" and work on developing the desire to stay sober by remembering why you want to stop. When the temptation to drink comes put it out of your mind like you would get rit of a hot iron. When we dwell on drinking it always looks better. Doctors opinion says we drank because we liked the effect produced by alcohol. We quit because we don't like the results. I can't think myself into good actions but I can act myself into good thinking. I'll be judged by my actions not my thinking. Cindy S. rember that rumors always tell more about those who starts them than what they do about the person they are talking about. People are not as naive as many think they are just kind and don't confront them. Good discussion going on Love to all. Bill J.


Member: Jack C
Location: Ma
Date: 27 Jan 1999
Time: 22:48:50

Comments

My name's Jack and I'm an alcoholic. One of the most difficult things in sobriety for me to remember is to live and let live. I can so easily get caught up trying to tell others how to live, and whats wrong with them, that I lose sight of where I am headed and what I am supposed to be doing. The "live" part is just important as the "let live" part. If I keep the focus on myself and live my life according to what I perceive to be God's will for me for today, then I will be too busy doing His work to even think of trying to judge, control or manipulate others. The big book says we should never jeopardize our chances for being of service. All of these things, this meeting place, the big book, my sponsor, and HP help remind me where I came from and how far I still have to go. Thanks everyone, for the friendly and helpful reminders. It just shows that my built-in forgetter is still working and that I am indeed in the right place.


Member: Tom F.
Location: NM
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 00:22:50

Comments

Heard at a Meeting: "6. Were entirely ready to let God remove all these defective characters."

Trying to control others is a great way to build resentment, which is a great way to plan a next drunk.

Judging others is a great way to find out what I don't like about myself.

Yet with this wisdom, I still do it a lot. I pray a lot.


Member: fayla  g
Location: galena   ks
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 00:40:28

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic happy birthday Debra and BUTCH , live and let live i half o work on this very hard learning to keep my mouth shut and my ears open ,and i love the looking glass on the wall at my meeting hanging on the wall , under it reads this is your biggest problem .and as long as i remmber im my biggest problem i know who i need to work on , love and prayers to all fayla


Member: Ryan H.
Location: Hutchinson, KS
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 00:47:54

Comments

Hello, my name is Ryan and I am a grateful alcoholic. It is only through the 3rd step that I find any relief in trying to control people, places, things, and situations. I have to make a conscious decision to turn my will and life over to God, or my self-will run riot will make a mess of everything. I am told on pg.62 of the Big Book that I must get rid of selfishness or it will kill me. Whenever I find myself trying to control someone by not letting them live, or not letting my HP take the situation I am being selfish. My sponsor always tells me that "The Father knoweth and doeth all. Thine will not my will be done" Thanks for all of you helping make another 24!!!


Member: John K
Location: Santa Clara CA
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 02:49:59

Comments

Hi, I'm John and I'm an alcoholic.

To live is the hard part for me, and to let live is just letting go of the passive-aggressive control games that tempt me every day.

Step Six in the 12&12 has been a good meter for me on this one, with its description of gossip as "a polite form of murder by character assassination."

Thanks for letting me share.


Member: PAT
Location: INDIANA
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 07:04:42

Comments

I AM SO GRATEFUL FOR THIS PROGRAM AND THIS WEBSITE. THERE IS NO WAY I COULD LIVE TODAY WITHOUT THE SUPPORT FROM ALL OF YOU; I WOULD BE IN TOTAL MISERY IF I WERE ALIVE. TO LIVE AND LET LIVE IS PROBABLY THE HARDEST THING THIS ALCOHOLIC CAN DO. WHAT THIS REALLY MEANS IS TO TRUST GOD ENOUGH TO LET HIM DO HIS JOB AND I AM SUPPOSED TO WORRY ONLY ABOUT MY SIDE OF THE STREET. WHEN I AM FULL OF FEAR I WANT TO CONTROL EVERYTHING AND I DO NOT LET GO AND TRUST GOD TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS. TO ME TRUSTING GOD IS THE CORNERSTONNE OF BEING ABLE TO LET GO, TO LET LIVE AND TO JUST LIVE MYSELF. FOR ME IT IS ABOUT FEAR. I HOPE ALL OF YOU FIND YOUR WAY TO PEACE AND SERENITY. THANKS FOR BEING THERE AND LETTING ME SHARE.LOL


Member: dj
Location: norfolk
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 07:38:34

Comments

if L and L : wont work pray your enemy!!!!

god bless


Member: Debbie C
Location: Colorado
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 12:30:29

Comments

Hi I'm Debbie an alcoholic. I have enjoyed reading all of the comments and ideas surrounding one of our most treasured slogans "Live & Let Live." However, over the years and with my sponsor's assistance, I have found that one aspect of this slogan is often times (most times, I should say) forgotten and that is the part about Living. I will quote my sponsor directly; "we spend an awful lot of time letting go and letting other people live (which is what we should do), but in this process we forget about ourselves and that we need to LIVE life as well." Our own AA insignia states it very well: "To Thine Own Self be True." In fact, if we are not true to ourselves, we cannot be true to anyone else because we are then living a lie. I have experienced this first hand. I found after 11 years of sobriety that I was living my life to meet and accommodate someone else's needs and completely disregarded myself. Eventually, the pain of not being true to myself caught up with me and I was faced with a difficult choice. Either I choose myself and start LIVING or continue down that destructive path and eventusally DRINK!! Well, needless to say, I chose myself (this is a selfish program) and here I am 5 years later NOT DRINKING. I would say that was the right choice. So now when I hear the slogan Live & Let Live, I always remember that along with letting others live as they choose, I must also rememeber to LIVE and to be true to myself.

Thanks for the topic and letting me share.


Member: David C
Location: California
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 13:18:47

Comments

Hi, I'm David, alcoholic from California. To me, "Live and let live" should be turned around. Before I can fully live in the present, I have to let the past be and learn from it. If I am still complaining and WHYning, I cannot focus on the now enough to take full advantage of what is happening now. My past will get in my way. So I have to take inventory, admit my mistakes, and become willing to do whatever it takes to make amends and do things better. That is the essence of the twelve steps.

To do a good first step, I must take full account of my life, both present and past. I also cannot limit my account only to what I think are problems "caused" by my drinking, because the truth is that alcohol is not the problem. The problem is much deeper, and unless I let go absolutely, absolutely nothing will happen to change things. Only letting God and following that faith with definite, decisive action that allows me to take full responsibility for my actions will change things. Once I do these things about ANY problem, I can let live and really live.


Member: Phil D.
Location: Dayton
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 13:51:20

Comments

The full quote, from Shakespeare "This above all: to thine own self be true, and it must follow as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man."


Member: Jessie M.
Location: NYC
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 14:47:32

Comments

I'm Jessie & I'm an alcoholic. This is a great topic, Therese, and I have been getting so much out of everyone's shares. Before I comment, WELCOME to Sally and Joel L! I was so touched by your reaching out to us and asking for help. Keep coming back!

I agree wholeheartedly with Debbie C. and her sponsor. The way to live and let live is to first LIVE. I've been blessed by God and AA to have a life life to live now. It's been a rough journey. All I've had to do on any given DAY is to just show up, tho. And WOW! Today I started the second semester of my fresman year in COLLEGE! Never thought that would happen. I was so happy on the subway this morning, the usual angry, nervous people everywhwere in NY hardly even phased me. This is def. progress!

Peace & love to you all. Jessie. humpshkeegirl@hotmail.com


Member: Denise J
Location: Michigan
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 15:04:13

Comments

Hi I'm Denise, first time here, and am going to my first meeting tonight. I've read everyones thoughts, and appreciate the honesty projected here. I know I've got a rough road ahead of me, and am facing a lot of obstacles first. The biggest is with the court, and losing my license. I know I can do it, but am really scared- God Bless you All, and keep me in your prayers too- Thanks


Member: Kelly B.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 16:03:41

Comments

Hi, I'm Kelly and am definately an alcoholic. I am grateful today for the blessings I've received from the God of my understanding and the program of A.A. To Denise, you are in my prayers for your first meeting. Just keep an open mind and get plenty of phone numbers and keep coming back. As someone said earlier, judge not lest ye be judged. I'm no better or worse than anyone else, and we're all in the same boat more or less. Read the Big Book, work the steps, call your sponsor, and go to as many meetings as possible and one day at a time, you will have a spiritual experience, and God will be there every step of the way. That's why I have 17 years of sobriety, because of God and A.A. Love you all, and thanks for being there.


Member: Leah A.
Location: Plano, TX
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 18:26:20

Comments

Hi, my name is Leah, and I'm an alcoholic. I understand how hard it is to live and let live. My husband and I met in AA (...boy meets girl on AA campus...)and he and I got drunk together six months later. 3 years and a son later, I'm now a little over 8 months sober, which is a world record for me. Anyway, he's still drinking. I've had to separate from him in order to stay sane and sober. It is hard not to want to fix him or help him hit his bottom, or something. Everyone had to let me drink and I suppose he needs to do the same thing. As for me, I've had enough. Live and let live is really tough for us caretakers, though. But I'm learning to trust in God. I know he's taken good care of me, and it would be self-centered in the extreme to think that I know better than him when it comes to running my life, much less anyone else's. I'm really glad to be here and glad to be sober. This is my first time visiting and I think this is great!!


Member: BOBBI-JO
Location: ARIZONA
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 19:32:47

Comments

HI EVERYONE, I'M PRETTY NEW IN SOBRIETY AND JUST REALLY LEARNING TO LIVE LIFE ON LIFE'S TERMS.AFTER TRYING TO DO THIS MY WAY, WHICH OBVIOUSLY DIDN'T WORK I HAVE FINALLY SURRENDERED. I HONESTLY DON'T KNOW WHAT I WOULD DO WITHOUT AA. THE ACCEPTANCE I HAVE RECEIVED IS REALLY OVERWHELMING. AFTER LOSING VIRTUALY EVERYTHING INCLUDING MY PRIZE POSESSIONS (MY TWO CHILDREN) I HAVE FINALLY AWOKEN TO THE JOY OF LIFE...SOBRIETY. I HAVE NOW LEARNED TO LIVE AND LET LIVE WHICH IS ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT DECISIONS OF MY LIFE. "GOD GRANT ME THE SERENITY."


Member: bill w
Location:
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 19:39:37

Comments


Member: bill f
Location:
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 19:40:52

Comments


Member: David S.
Location: Whidbey Island Wa.
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 19:42:36

Comments

Hi I'm David, Alcoholic This is my first cyber meeting. I have followed some of the meetings breifly and decided to join in on this one?, It's always refreashing to see that the doors of A.A. still swing open, as for the young Lady SALLY, you have already reched some point to what we have and that's you made a "DECISION" - "WELCOME!" we all have had our battles and some very trying times that came along with them. As for the "Live and Let Live" theory - no doubt it has already been covered many times through this discussion but I have to agree that the program guides us towards a much better understanding than that of which we chose to live by in our past - the statement; "Love Thy Brother" leaves very little room for error doesn't it?. GOD BLESS YOU ALL for being here when I needed you. DJS


Member: Andrea B.
Location: WICHITA KS
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 20:26:56

Comments

My name is Andrea and I'm an addict/alcohlic. To me, surrenduring and admitting my powerlesness over my addiction was the biggest step in getting sober. And this continues on a daily basis. To start over anew, and and live the steps in everything I do. Gratitude is something I cannot live without. I give what I have to some adolescents in a tx facility. That is my greatest reward. KEEP COMING BACK!!!


Member: Boe H.
Location: Virigina
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 20:37:03

Comments

HI my name is Boe, and I am an alcohlic. This is my first cyber meeting. Sally on live and let live, I will shair what has been shared with me Ever body has their own opinion and it is their right as it is my right to my own oppion. So what people think about me or say about me really is not my besness. And my oppions of people I should think first before I express them. Belive me when I say this is very hard to do sometimes, it does help when my fellings get hurt, or better yet before I hurt someone else. I hope this makes since. And please excuse my spelling. I got sober one day at a time, and it has not helped my spelling at all. The rest of my life is great today


Member: Denise  J
Location: Michigan
Date: 28 Jan 1999
Time: 22:03:19

Comments

Thank you Kelly B, my first meeting went well, I just got back. I also shared this site with the table, and gave the address to another. Thank You all for your prayers. I'll be back- Denise


Member: Lynn C.
Location: St. Augustine FL
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 00:13:13

Comments

Hi, Lynn alcoholc here. I have had to learn what live and let live really means first hand. my sister lives 4 states away, we just lost our father,and he left us some money. she is married and has 3 kids and one on the way. he drinks and spends lots of money on drugs. I wanted her to put some money away so when she got tired of him she could leave him and move here where {i could help her}.Of course she didnt and the money is gone. During all this I realized that she has to live her life and it is just that HER LIFE.I love her and pray for her. when i talk to her i am supportive. I understand now that if i am all caught up in her life I'm not living mine. and most of all i'm not living the program that i love so dearly.it's hard when our family is in trouble and we should help when we can. sometimes helping is praying for them and letting them live. thanks for letting me share.


Member: Bonnie C - 5/30/80
Location: Seattle
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 00:43:12

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alky again, (((ROOM-HUG))) sorry for the double post but i just remembered something about live and let live that really helped me. I think it was my sponsor that said, love them enuf to let them hurt and learn their own lessons. then I was asked how I'd learned anything and i had to admit, everytime i learned a lasting lesson in life it was thru my own pain. love 'em enuf to let 'em hurt and learn then when they put their hand out love 'em back to health. dear family, please forgive the double post. Dear God please bless all who venture here. love u all, bon


Member: pam d
Location: southern california           12/84
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 01:18:23

Comments

((room hugs))pam alcoholic. Live is the first part. Very early in sobriety i had to learn to make choices - and each time i had to "decide" something, i was told to go towards life instead of the slow suicide i had been committing for years. sometimes i still go back to that very basic level of decision making. it's tough when i was well trained as a doormat.

and Let Live - that's where the serenity prayer came in - basically learning where my control is - internally, and not "out there".


Member: Phil C.
Location: Indian Lake .Ohio
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 01:50:29

Comments

Hi, I'm a first timer at this meeting,&feel a benifit from all the discussions. Most times when I start putting my nose in someones life,it's because of my own self interests directing my decision,look to your own motives when expecting something of someone else and nine times out of ten you'll make the better decision as to "LIVE & LET LIVE"

Keep the plug in the jug & attend meetings!


Member: Cindy,S
Location: PA
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 01:51:04

Comments

Hi my name is Cindy and I am an alcoholic and addict. i want to congradulate everyone on there anniversarys and all that have today. Denise, welcome so happy for you making the best descision for the rest of your life and as long as you stay on the right road you will find it isnt nearly as rough as the road you were on which is a dead end in many cases. Thank God you want to live, and your obstacals you spoke of arent brick walls as they were before, with the help of God and all of us and the program you will get through this. And it does get better. I will keep you in my prayrs for Gods will for you and court. Keep coming back!

Bobbi-Jo, I just spoke tonight to my son to whom i now actively have very much in my life today which i owe gratitude to AA. Of exactly in your words the biggest and most important loss of your life, your children. i was sharing with him exactly what all of that ment to me, I can totaly relate and it brought it very close to home. It is good to be reminded of how quickly i could lose all of what i hold so dear with just one drink, i am not willing to take that chance. Thanks for letting me share.

Boe, As you can tell i too have diffaculty spelling. It is a good feeling not to be alone in the misspelling department. As for it not being any of my buissiness of what people say about me i beg to differ especially when they are not true and the hurt me. I do belive they have a right to speek there mind, but i have every buissiness to express my hurt feelings. I say this only from recent experince of a very simmialar situation and i did more damage to my self not expressing my pain they caused and stuffing it.thanks for letting me share. I hope you didnt take offence to my obviously still sensitive sinario.

Leah, Congats no your 8 months i give you credit on leaving your honey to save your life. I too was faced with the same situation and I stubernly tryed to do it my way and keep the no win relationship with the grace of God i finaly came to my senses, that relationship if i stayed in, i probably would be dead by now. of course my self centerd ways i found my self passing judgment on him. and believing i was better than he, when a year ago had i not gotten arrested i woul probably still be where he is now, comfortable in the missery. i do pray for him as all addicts still out there every night for Gods will to help them. Thanks for letting me share

I can say i have judged myself and my selfworth in society which worked in my benifit for something over due "A JOB" finaly after three years with that i am grateful and i have to say feeling very good with my self and my job. Thanks for letting me share." i feel good"


Member: allen t
Location: wadena sask. canada
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 02:51:23

Comments

my name is allen an alcholic. "live and let live" is a perfect topic for me today.tonite i picked up a guy to give him a ride to a meeting it wasn't long before i realized he was drunk. i didn't know what to do and there was a newcomer with us so we went to the meeting. it was a tough go. the chair did his best but the fella kept interuping and interjecting as people where sharing. it really bothered me but i have to believe that there was a reason for this. even if only to make me grateful it wasn't me.

congrats to debra h calif. on your one year.

thanks for being here

allen


Member: Jeanne B
Location: Vermont
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 06:45:55

Comments

Hello everyone, I find myself at home and so I have been looking for a "meeting" place. Looks like I found it. Thank you all for being there to support me.


Member: Kelly B.
Location: Mississippi
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 10:58:53

Comments

Hi, Kelly/alcoholic. Denise I'm so glad your meeting went well. God does for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Just keep coming back and asking for His help and guidance. To Leah: I've been there, and done that. My husband is still drinking and I'm still with him, but I finally let God be in control and asked Him for his guidance in what I should do with my life, and I started working the steps again, taking my own inventory, and giving up my character defects to my Higher Power and my life today is more fulfilling and I feel more spiritually fit than I have in many years. God knows what is best for me and for the people around me. I just pray that He will give them what they need for the day. Everyone have a great weekend and I'll try to hook up again next week since I can only get on-line during work.


Member: Debbie C
Location: Colorado
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 11:10:54

Comments

Phil D. from Dayton. Thanks for the full quote from Shakespeare. And what a quote it is (actually, my favorite)...I think our friend Mr. Shakespeare had some very real insight into life, but did not realize that such a line would affect so many people in such a positive way. For that matter, I am sure he did not anticipate a bunch of drunks using it as a means of Living. Thanks Again.


Member: Tim
Location: Washington
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 14:12:49

Comments

Hey, Tim here, I'm an alcoholic. Sitting here at home recovering from emergency surgery. Two weeks ago I wound up in the hospital in severe pain. They gave me pain meds and now I feel like I've "danced eith the devil". I pasted my 10 month birthday in the hospital. I have not drank and after being released from the hopital I threw my pain pills away( I loved them too much). God, I don't want to go back to the way it was before. Anyway, It's so great to have access to other friend's of Bill While I'm stuck at home. Thanks, you all Tim


Member: Brenda K.
Location: MO.
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 15:46:56

Comments

Welcome to all, I'm Brenda and this is my first time on line with AA. I'm glad to have fumbled in to this website. Live and let live isn't as hard as it used to be, it always gets better with practice. For me I've found the more humble I am the less I am effected by others behavior, etc. My sponsor has taught me much over the years and one of those lessons was that most likely I would always have opinions about people, places, and things. The thing I found that I could change is if what that person is doing something I want in my life. We all have a right to our choices. I'm so grateful to the people who have loved me enough to tell the truth, with out them I would be dead. The truth has set me free and it hurt alot first. I share often that if you don't want what I got don't do what I did. I'm so grateful to not have too: Live to drink and Drink to live. My soberity date is 5/14/86 and this is truly a miracle, its the greatest gift that God has given me. The four horseman no longer visit me. Staying sober one day at a time, and there have been those moments a breath at a time. Thanks for allowing me the opportunity to share my experience strenght and hope. Keep coming back, it works, if we live it.


Member: Jim
Location: Ohio
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 16:14:56

Comments

I'm Jim, and quite alcoholic. Tim, I hope you recover your health soon, I know how difficult that situation can be to deal with. Keep coming back. Interesting Shakespeare... to thine own self be true, for sure. On rare occasion, I have gone to a meeting and been glad there is another to attend, because the one in which I have found myself is fraught with ego, such is the nature of alcoholism. As usual we alcoholics present many good and thought provoking comments on all sides. We are certainly an interesting lot. Cheers to you all!


Member: Tim
Location: SC
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 17:36:20

Comments

I am an alcoholic my name is Tim. Grateful to be sober through the grace of God and AA -I am today. Thanks for the topic. This is my first meeting on-line. For me...To drink is die. The 12 steps have given me a life worth living. The steps are the "easier softer way". The steps teach me to live and to Let Live. And when I sincerly do step three where I turn my will and my life over to the care of God , even my business is not my business. It takes the steps to put my life into perspective and as I realize I can't even manage my own life I must humbly confess that I can not manage anything or anyone elses. Sally keep comin back--We all promise you that it gets better... Otherwise we would all be dead or drunk. Thank you all for sharing and making this meeting available. If you are new-We love you in a special way...Keep coming back . Don't drink even if your ear falls, come to a meeting and we will try to help you get it back on. May the Grace of God Keep you all--until next time...Tim


Member: helen O
Location: Connecticut
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 19:44:24

Comments

I think the toughest part of live and let live for me is when I see people I love who will not go to meetings. I have been sober for 8 and a half years and have seen too many prople I love go back out or die from this disease. I know that I can not make anyone get this but have to work on letting people go through what they need too. Just because I think it's the right way to stay sober does not mean it's the only way. But for me I have found that it makes my life alot easier.


Member: Mike S
Location: Seattle
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 21:06:39

Comments

Mike, Alcoholic. Great topic. Great discussion. I came here to day after having to write a carefully worded e-mail response (showing restraint of pen and tongue) to a well meaning lady who thinks that I should sue my own lawyer in my soon to be completed divorce case. Thank-you very much but I don't think she understands the realities of lawyers, their fees, and their relationships to other lawyers.

Some one pointed out above that we each have the right, maybe even the obligation, to make own own mistakes. Certainly my drinking cost me my house, my wife, and the affections of both nearly grown daughters. The program has given me more basic spirituality in 8 months than 18 years in a particular church. Some of those today would agressivly snub me because of my AA association. I think that I will stay.

I'v met a new lady, also in the program, much to the chagrin of my "helpful" neighbor. I hope that we can someday talk about "Relationships in Recovery." Live and Let Live will probably work well there also. I'm certainly not interested in a Rescue Triangle mode. I don't want to fix or rescue this lady in any way. I just try to value her for herself and treat her with dignity and respect so much as God enables me.

For the new-comers, stay long enough in the meetings for the miracle to happen. My last relapse followed my becoming critical of some old dry drunk in a meeting, thinking that I didn't have to come anymore, and not going to meetings. Just reading over these posts, and something happened in my heart where I know that I have a pretty good chance of just one more day of sobriety. I'll go to the meeting tonight, anyway.

Thank-you all for being here and letting me ramble on.


Member: TIM
Location: SC
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 22:23:11

Comments

I'm an alcoholic name Tim. Want to encourage Tim from Washington with 10 months sobriety and enduring the pain and challenges of emergency surgey. Let me first refer you to the story in the Big Book Dr., Alcoholic, Addict. Wise decision to protect your sobriety from mind altering and mood altering chemicals. I have undergone major back surgerys having been placed in a fullbody cast--I have come to live with a degree of pain that has become tolerable without using narcotics. Physical pain is HORRIBLE! But nothing like the pain of dying a slow miserable alcoholic death. Tim there is much written in the BB on this in a few short paragraphs. We give no advice or have any opinions--only suggestions as have been useful to myself and others from the book. TO THY OWN SELF, BE TRUE. There is indeed a difference between medication for a bonafide illness or condition and DRUG ABUSE! And many great alternatives to Narcotics... Living Proof AA works under "all" conditions...TIM 9-7-89


Member: Jim R.
Location: Chgo
Date: 29 Jan 1999
Time: 22:50:30

Comments

I've always been the type of person to jump in and start putting the model together without reading the instructions. Sometimes it would work out, but most of the time there was something missing, and I'd end up scratching my head and wondering what went wrong.

AA has giving the instuctions and all the tools to build my life back together. It's up to me to read the instructions. I must realize though, that the model I'm working on now will never be complete, that it'll be a work in progress. By living and letting others live accordingly... I take the pressure off myself... I'm through with comparing my model to others... all I can do is work on me to be more effective to others. The competition will have to go on without me.

Have a great day all! Yours in the fellowship Jim R.+


Member: Connie/Alcoholic
Location: STL
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 00:20:34

Comments

Hi my name is Connie and I am an alcoholic;

I agree with bonnie, on Live and let live. I have to go through the pain myself, before I can learn what I need to learn from this program. I like to do things, my own way, and until I am willing to open my ears and put the cotton in my mouth, I couldn't learn anything, cause I knew it all. And I really thought I did too. It taking me many years to see the light though, and I do love my program and finally am starting to understand it.

I love you all and hugs {{{{{{{ROOM}}}}}


Member: Mary N.
Location: Maple Valley, WA
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 04:37:34

Comments

Hi my name is Mary and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first time in this room. I've been in transit and haven't been to a meeting in a while, but after reading some I realized AA is still my home and I'm very grateful. I had to learn "live and let live" when I first got sober. I was a control freak, everything had to be my way, when my sponsor made me learn to let go and let God I had an anxiety attack! The thing I learned is that judging and trying to control other people takes too much energy. Also, just because someone doesn't do it the way I approve doesn't make them wrong, it only makes them different and that's ok. I have more energy now because I'm living a sober happy life and have been for 14 months and I don't have to worry anymore about whether my husband or kids do things "my way", as long as stuff gets done. I'm enjoying life so much now and I love all you drunks for giving me back my life! Thank you.


Member: Booker
Location: Sarnia, Ontario
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 08:24:55

Comments

Hi everyone, I'm Booker, alcoholic. Nothing I can add to the topic of "Live and let live", I just want to respond by saying I've really enjoyed the posts this week and wish everybody peace and happiness in a fulfilling rewarding sobriety. Have a good week, booker@ebtech.net


Member: Nancy E.
Location: St.Petersburg, FL
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 10:01:22

Comments

"Live and Let Live" seems really simple to me now, after almost 16 years, but at first I just didn't get it. For me it is simply "mind my own business". Alcoholic's Anonymous continues to teach me what my business is. Thank you for my sobriety.


Member: Don T.
Location: South Dakota
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 10:43:16

Comments

I am Don,alcoholic through the grace of my higher power and the fellowship of AA. I have not had to drink for 15 years. I hav to constantly keep turning it over my higher power to be able to live and let live because I keep trying to take back the reins and drive. I heard an old timer explain it as kind like having a wagan wheel with a spoke missing. I have to keep in mind that evan though I have a few 24's I'm still only one drink away from a drunk. That is the way it's always been and always will be. Because I am an alcolhic. I just feel blessed that I have a disease that can be arrested. To the newcomers keep coming back, go to meetings, get a sponsor, read the big book, and listen closely. Becsuse if your like me, I missed a lot of things that went right over my head. But, I also heard in these rooms, fake it till you make it. First time I have shared on the net, love it. Thanks for letting me share. May God bless you all.


Member: Pat G
Location: Calgary. Alberta
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 11:45:38

Comments

Phil NWT Myname is Pat and I'm an alky. I know what your going through been there and done it, went to meeting for three years seven days a week & drank every day, I don't reccomend it at all. I'm sober now twenty two years, and it's only because of the help of God and the people in a the program, it is a one day one hour one minute a day program, get lots od phone numbers and used them when you feel you want to drink. Might be an idea to look in to a treatment centre, if your like me I felt like I wanted to get out of the "Rat Race" away from family and friends and work and get my head straight, treatment centres are a good places to do this and work on you self and listen to some good solid advice. Best of luck and all you other guys have a good twentyfour.


Member: TIM
Location: Washington
Date: 30 Jan 1999
Time: 14:28:57

Comments

Tim, alcohalic. To Tim from S.C. thanks for the kind words. The story doctor alcoholic addict is a great one, of course the famous page 449. I also find the bottom of page 451 " the hardest place to work this program is in my own home." Hits home(pun intended). I, like so many others in this program, was lost till I came to AA. I'm learning to live and let live. I've learnd to look with truth and honesty at myself and my life. That is a major proccess that will take the rest of my life.

Page 557 first full paragraph. Tim