Member: Gabrielle P
Location: Northwest Ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.209.140
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 08:47 AM -0500

Comments

Gabrielle grateful recovering alcoholic...Not taking yourself too seriously or having a thicker skin....either topic is good for me....I have always "owned" others opinions of me like how to do things, how to dress, who to hang out with....and in AA we have to make that choice on our own...because our own sobriety depends on it....it is hard to make that choice when it is clouded with old behaviors and ways of thinking...how long does it take to get to the point where construction critisism is not felt or taken as a harmful pass at making you feel bad and is genuinely another alcoholic valued opinion of what is really good for you? If you can't see it for yourself, what tools do you use to try and see it from the others guys point of view....so where does honestly knowing where someone is trying to help and the difference between EGO telling us we are right and they are wrong? I cannot fail until I stop trying, In Sobriety, In AA, In Life. Gabrielle


Member: Glen H
Location: Tx
Remote Name: 4.62.113.73
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 09:30 AM -0500

Comments

I'll never forget being called into my bosses office for my annual review - this was back in the drinking days, but before it got real bad, and I was doing a good job - and he put one negative comment down: "Doesn't accept constructive criticism". I bellowed out, "What do you mean, I don't take constructive criticism well, I always do when its right, it just isn't right most of the time"...lol The thing is, finally admitting that I was an alcoholic and that I needed help was a big admission to me; I was wrong about me being an alcoholic, I could be wrong about anything. Pam B said it the other day, but it's kinda been my philosophy, too: if one person tells me something, I will kinda think about it; if two people tell me I'm wrong, I go looking for a third, and three tell me I'm wrong, then I take a very serious look at whatever it is.... It never hurts to look at what people are telling you, shoot, they just may be right!..and if they are, then they have helped, not hurt.


Member: Craig L (Dogmanor@yahoo.com)
Location: Aloha, Oregon
Remote Name: 12.224.94.37
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 09:58 AM -0500

Comments

Craig here another real alcoholic (page 21). Good topic Gabrielle!! The big book tells us "there is a long road of reconstruction ahead" and that I suffer from a physical, mental and spiritual disease. When I was 11, I realized I was gay. That was intolerable to me and I was terrified of your opinon about me. Most of my life, looking good and fitting in was all that mattered, until I would get the guts for suicide. At first the alcohol and drugs seemed to help me feel OK, but that turned on me and cut me to shreds. Today the physical part of my disease is arrested as long as I don't pick up the first drink, but the mental and spiritual part is still a work in progress LOL. There are those who judge and hate me. The highest insult for many today is to be called a faggot. I used to live in total FEAR (F* Everything And Run) of that word. Today! Thanks to the 12 steps, I don't question why God made me who I am. I know my truth is the only truth I can share and honesty is essential in maintaining a conscious contact with God. Today, I have found Peace and a God which loves me and you no matter what you have been or who you are. I do not need your approval or dissapproval. I no longer have to run to a bottle.


Member: shawn
Location: Maryland
Remote Name: 217.16.74.2
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 10:02 AM -0500

Comments

Hello everyone, my name is Shawn and I am an alcoholic. I just celebrated 7 years of continuous sobriety. I am from Ocean City, Maryland and right now I am writing from Skopje, Macedonia which is north of Greece. I don't always take myself too seriously. However I do take my sobriety serious, and these cyber meeting are going to be my only lifeline while I am out of the United States. This is my first time out of the States and This wouldn't be possible unless I was sober. Sobriety has been good to me and my wife so far, and I am going to keep going to meetings and working the steps. I have had my head in the big book every day. It is amazing how that book changes every time I read it. I will keep posting, Happy New Year. Your Friend in Skopje Shawn.


Member: jules h.
Location: Iowa
Remote Name: 209.152.104.224
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 12:29 PM -0500

Comments

Congrats to you Shawn on your 7 years of continuous sobriety!! Keep on keepin on......... Jules here, an alcoholic, and that's a great topic for me since I'm getting better about not taking everything so personal, but it's still hard for me to take criticism whether it's intented to be construtive or not. One time during my eval. at work, my manager told me I had low self-esteem, I thought to myself, don't you know how far I've come? But I went ahead and followed through with some free counseling sessions that my work offers without any fees and it was one of the best things I could have done for myself, because the counselor listened to me and then prompted me to do a 4th,5th,6th and 7th steps in regards to forgiving myself, afterwards I did thank my manager for saying what she did, so I'm growing up in this program! Have a great day sane and sober!!


Member: Jeff T.
Location: Ne.
Remote Name: 12.108.214.178
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 06:20 PM -0500

Comments

I`m Jeff, an alcoholic. This is an interesting topic? I have given it alot of thought & well it seems to me that for myself i can say that even though i have been sober for quite a few years, that my toe`s still hurt when they are stepped on. I guess it`s how i react today that is different for me. I will not let anyone walk all over me cause i don`t have to be a door mat any more, nor do i have to react in such a way as to be hurtfull to another. All of the areas in my life have to take on this kind of balance which is not an easy task. All i can do is seek progress not perfection. Thanks...


Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 12.21.208.63
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 08:58 PM -0500

Comments

another sober day gonna try check out church tonight,I haven't attended in along time well it will be ok god is love thanks for the info.


Member: Bonny G
Location: Hot Springs, AR
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 04 Jan 2004
Time: 10:21 PM -0500

Comments

Bonny, grateful recoverying alcoholic, I think that we have expectations of how others should view us now that we are sober. I find it hard sometimes to accept the fact that there are certain people who are not going to see the changes in me that this program has brought about. I must however remember to love them for who they are also. I will sometimes be amazed that people see changes in me that I haven't seen. God has blessed me with a program of recovery, provided I do my part, go to meetings, read the Big Book, and treat others as I would like to be treated. I can allow them to either accept me or reject me, opinions are only for the person or persons involved in the situation at hand. I enjoy my AA friends, and I've grown enough over the years to appreciate the friends outside this program. The sobriety coin says "to thine ownself be true." Thanks


Member: Mike H
Location: Jackson Michigan
Remote Name: 68.76.52.254
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 08:07 AM -0500

Comments

All my life I have been a "people pleaser". Always trying to do what everyone else wanted me to do. Never thinking about what I wanted. Now that I am sober I have been making choices for me. This has proven to be very hard as I have no background or past history to fall back on. I have made many mistakes. As long as I learn from them it is ok. I have people telling me all the time what I should do. I now listen and decide what is good for me and what isn't instead of trying to do all the suggestions all at once. The one I like is: If one person tells you that you stink don't worry about it, but, if ten people tell you that you stink you better take a bath. Grateful to be sober today. Mike H.


Member: Scott K.
Location: Northeast
Remote Name: 13.13.137.1
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 08:15 AM -0500

Comments

Hi, My name is Scott and Iím an alcoholic. This is a great topic for me. All my life I cow-towed to everyone so they would like me and accept me. I compromised my values. I hid my drinking and my drunkenness as well as I could because I was deathly afraid of criticism. I had to try and do everything perfect so people would think I was a great guy, it was exhausting!! These are the reasons I stayed away from the rooms of AA for so many years. Admitting that I am an alcoholic and not perfect was also a huge step for me and lead me to a powerful and revealing 4th and 5th step where all this stuff came out. There is nothing more I want than to just be myself and not worry about what others think of me. That is an ultimate goal for me but I am not making much progress toward it. I constantly find myself slipping into the old behaviors and compromising myself to look good, even in the rooms. My sponsor and I work on this every week but progress is slow, I guess good things come to those that wait. One thing I do know, I havenít had to take a drink since Feb 18, 2002 and I am very grateful for that. My life is really starting to come together and it is because I am not drinking and listening to other alcoholics who I respect. I am accepting their constructive criticism even though I am terrified of it. This has been good for me and Iím sure that someday, if I continue on the path that I am taking, I will reach my ultimate goal. Thanks, Scott K.


Member: Joe B.
Location: Charleston,W.V.
Remote Name: 64.12.96.233
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 09:35 AM -0500

Comments

Hi gang,hope yr having a good day. it took a while to realize about 90 % of whats going on right in front of me, is not my business. and probably 99% beneath the surface.Its very hard to believe that is and will go on if we just let it. I think peace and serenity start here.Wear yr AA raincoat all the time.Bye Bye


Member: Peggy E
Location: Salem, Oregon
Remote Name: 67.164.52.213
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 05:13 PM -0500

Comments

I'm Peggy. I'm an alcoholic. That is what I need to remember every day. "People pleasing" was hard to let go of, because alcohol gave me the courage to speak my truth. Good topic, Mike. Through the years I have found I finally don't need "liquid courage" through God's saving grace - the same God who got me sober. Peggy E I am snowed in and am very grateful you all are out there!


Member: Manu L
Location: Belgium
Remote Name: 213.224.20.170
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 06:58 PM -0500

Comments

I'm Manu, alcoholic. I'm only sober for 5 months and still have kind of a problem with criticism. When I was still drinking, I would get absolutely mad when someone called me an alcoholic. I was not an alcoholic. I could stop drinking any time I wanted. The problem was that I never wanted to stop drinking. There was always a reason (or no reason) to keep drinking... The moment I accepted the fact that I am an alcoholic, things started to go better. Now I now that I'm an alcoholic, and I know that I never could handle a drink. Now that I'm working on the 12 steps, I get better at accepting criticism, but still I get easily upset. When I think about what people say about me, it makes me sad and sometimes mad. I get better at it, and thinking about the fraze "Not taking yourself too seriously" helps. I suppose in time I will get better at it. What still hurts the most is when people I love say some awful things about me, and I'm not just talking about my alcohol problem. I still have a very hard time forgiving people for what they said and say, as I get the feeling that I let people walk over me. I think I still worry too much about what other people think about me. And that has probably a lot to do with the fact that I have very, very low self esteem. But even that is getting better now. So what I'm basically trying to say is that the 12 Step program is not just helping me with my alcohol problem, it is also helping me develop a new, better and happier way of life.


Member: Kelly R.
Location: Nebraska
Remote Name: 65.172.143.227
Date: 05 Jan 2004
Time: 07:43 PM -0500

Comments

Not taking oneself so seriously? Forgive others? I just did my first 5th step, and I hope I can learn to forgive myself someday.


Member: AZbill
Location: azbill1172@cox.net
Remote Name: 68.226.19.154
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 01:29 AM -0500

Comments

HI. Bill here. Alcoholic from Arizona. We used to have an expression. "Learn to develop an AA skin". Once I got through the steps the first few times,it didn't matter what others thought of me. I was not my business. I learned how to not hang around people who did not love me. I have left a couple of bosses slack jawed when I walked up to to them and told the I could not be responsible for some things that happened. As for determining who is right and who is wrong, I was given a good yardstick very early. If it was in the Big Book then it was mandatory. If it was not then it was optional. I was also told that if AA was not working for me I better look for another way. I had to change me. Not you or the program to suit me. Thanks. Love you. Bill


Member: Rarely
Location: Canada
Remote Name: 206.45.165.34
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 06:18 AM -0500

Comments

When I was drinking even right felt wrong, I would justify it by saying, "well its the principle of the thing." When I sobered up I had to agree that everyone has an opinion and whether right or wrong its still their opinion. In step seven I found a degree of humility meaning that I never had to be right all the time. So when it came time that someone would tear a strip off of me. I learnt to just smile, say a prayer, and walk away a free man. I found that Its physical impossible to smile and be angry at the same time.


Member: Adam H.
Location: New York, NY
Remote Name: 64.232.156.194
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 10:34 AM -0500

Comments

Adam, alcoholic. I'm grateful AA has taught that humility is not simply thinking less of myself, but thinking of myself less. That has been a real key to not taking myself so seriously. As an alcoholic, I am a driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-pity, and self-delusion, just like it says in the Big Book...in other words, I am always too preoccupied with getting what I think I need or not getting what I think I need. Whether it's things like approval, prestige and recognition, or more worldly things like a bigger bank account, a better living arrangement or a more adventuresome sex life....I always think I need more to be happier. Not too surprisingly, it was that way with booze too, once. In AA, I was told that when I start spending too much time contemplating how can I get more of anything, I'm being selfish and self-centered and that kind of thinking feeds on itself until I either step on someone's toes to get what I think I need or I wallow in self-pity because I can't get what I think I need. This, to me, is the epitomy of "taking myself to seriously," and it only leads to either the bottle or a dry bender. That definition of humilty as "thinking of myself less" is really helpful in times like this; it reminds me to remain right-sized and remember that in sobriety and in the care of my Higher Power, I always have what I need for the twenty-four hours ahead. Moreover, AA has given me a very special tool for when I am having difficulty getting right-sized--reach out and help someone less fortunate than I, whether they are in or out of the program. Having done that, when I get back to me (which, of course, I invariably do), I feel better, more grateful and a little less preoccupied with what I think I need and how to get more of it. Thanks for letting me share, and Happy New Year!


Member: Matt H.
Location: NY
Remote Name: 24.58.192.6
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 04:03 PM -0500

Comments

Hello, my name is Matt and im living in recovery, I am blessed with my new found gifts and rebirth. however in order to accept the program i needed to get through being a new comer and getting committed. unfortunatly, to many meetings now adays turn into political discussions and it is the new comer who is deterred and ultimatly suffers, keep it simple and remember the new comers always the most important, debate on your own time!!!!!


Member: Becky R
Location: Central Oregon
Remote Name: 66.62.141.130
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 05:19 PM -0500

Comments

Happy New Year! Becky, grateful addict & alcoholic in beautiful Central Oregon. Thank you for the topic. I have a hard time in recovery not being defensive. So many wrongs in my past and so many people who feel the need to point them out. I have learned to turn it all over to God. Thanks Joe B. for the AA raincoat theory. I will use it always. Best wishes, Becky


Member: Ali C.
Location: Mass.
Remote Name: 67.75.38.209
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 06:13 PM -0500

Comments

Good topic. Thank you, Adam H., for your comments. I feel like you just explained what's been plaguing me for months now. I was at a meeting recently, and people were talking about alcoholism being an addiction of "more." I've been really looking at my controlling and manipulative behavior and arrogance this year (who me? but I'm so nice?!!). Hard work to do. It's kind of like I've gone from no self-esteem and asking for nothing to too much self-esteem and wanting everything - often the way I work - need to go from one extreme to another before I can settle in the middle. I also struggle with relying on a lover to give me self-esteem - that's not so good. Thanks for listening.


Member: lola p
Location: laguna niguel
Remote Name: 68.5.33.40
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 07:40 PM -0500

Comments

Hello I am lola, an alcoholic.and also like Ali,a master manipulator I am working on this old behavior.It's not easy.I must attend daily meetings.I hope the best for myself.I also have relationship problems.I moved to a new area and its stressful.with the help of my higher power.I will make it,one day at a time.Thanks for letting me share.


Member: Shawn K
Location: Needles
Remote Name: 216.67.206.47
Date: 06 Jan 2004
Time: 11:56 PM -0500

Comments

Hey everybody, Shawn alcoholic. I just got home from one of my regular meetings. You know lately I find myself only wanting to share about my girlfriend. She's been in jail for 8 or 9 weeks now, due to some old warrants that she had. She was supposed to go to court today and they didn't take her. We were kind of hopeing she would get out today. She thinks she'll go in the morning and get released tomorrow. I was telling her on the phone today how stressed out I was getting trying to take care of everything alone. She told me I need to slow down and not try to do so many things at once or I'll end up in the hospital. I told her thats why I needed her home so bad because nobody else see's that happening with me except her. In otherwords she helps me to keep my pride leveled out. Anyway, maybe I am takeing on too much at one time. I should probably step back and take a look at what I'm doing before it's too late. It's good to be sober another day. Thanks


Member: Howard H
Location: Corona, CA
Remote Name: 67.125.36.173
Date: 07 Jan 2004
Time: 12:32 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone. Howard Alcoholic. First meeting/discussion online. Grateful for another day clean and sober. By the grace of God I will be celebrating 10 years on the 20th of this month. I must say that this has been the best 10 years of my life. By working the 12 steps thoroughly and attending meetings regualary I have learned to let God and His universe sort out my problems. I have been working 1 step per month for the past 7 years. I am currently working on step one again since it is January, however I can work any step at anytime depending on what is going on. My favorite is the 3rd step which reminds me of who is in charge. Thy will be done not mine are the words that go with me throughout the day. It works. It really does. Thanks, Howard H


Member: Mr.
Location: Karmic Retribution
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 07 Jan 2004
Time: 06:03 AM -0500

Comments

If I am right the topic is about ego deflation through contructive criticisms by others and how to deal with defense mechanisms...hmmmm, a very psychological question indeed... lemme just get back to ya later when I have sorted all these things out.


Member: Shel S.
Location: NE
Remote Name: 12.163.61.6
Date: 07 Jan 2004
Time: 12:43 PM -0500

Comments

Shelley, alcoholic. Glad to have survived the holidays oncemore. Yes, criticism from others, justified or not, still gets to me. It's harder still to accept compliments. Glad I found this meeting!


Member: Bob
Location: UK
Remote Name: 129.215.220.37
Date: 07 Jan 2004
Time: 03:40 PM -0500

Comments

Hi Bob here. One grateful and tired alcoholic. Guess I'm still at work at 8.30pm so I missed a local meeting. Good topic - my sponsor said something once which helped me keep myself in perspective. 'You aren't very important - and you are going to die anyway' Well that's true, so when my alcoholism takes over and I get mad or frustrated or similar I try to stay in reality and remember that I'm not very important in the scheme of things. It's one hell of a lot better than my previous attitude which was more like 'self-will running riot'. Anyway that's it. Congrats to Shawn and Happy New year everyone. If there is anyone suffering my heart goes out to you - it will pass.


Member: mike
Location: mount forest ,ont.canada
Remote Name: 65.93.139.128
Date: 07 Jan 2004
Time: 06:43 PM -0500

Comments

Hi am Mike grateful recovering alcoholic I got thinking of the first day that I walked into AA being scared and shy and not nowing if this waqs for me. Know now a few people who are in the program and how it has change their lives and who it has changed me when I had meet my sponsor he had said that I had what to quit drinking for myself and that I would have to work the steps each and every day and remembering that it takes only self to what it and to this day after having a fall I am back on track and I am so grateful to AA and it fellowship and to my sponsor


Member: Mary
Location: Tennessee
Remote Name: 65.82.174.201
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 12:15 AM -0500

Comments

I'm Mary; I'm an alcoholic. As far as criticism goes, I don't think I'll ever react well to it, even when I can rationally look at it and realize that there's truth to it or that it's being done for my own good. What hit me about this topic was taking myself too seriously. I have been obsessing for the past several days about whether my husband and I will be able to afford a third child. To me, nothing is as important as my getting what I want, and I feel justified in thinking about this as much as I have been. But there are billions of people in the world who want things just as much as I do. Why do I think that it's so important that I get exactly what I want? I definitely take myself too seriously, and I become a lot more serene when I realize that, although I am precious in God's eyes and important to him, I am not the center of the universe. Thank you for the topic! Glad to be here, Mary in Tennessee


Member: Kathleen
Location: Florida
Remote Name: 209.208.77.64
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 03:51 AM -0500

Comments

Hi everyone, Kathleen here alcoholic. Good topic. When I first came into AA my self esteem was below zero and when I would walk into the room I just KNEW that all eyes were on me and that EVERYONE was talking about ME...lol.. Came to learn that I'm just not that important. I am most definately my own worst critic. When I slip back into the fear of wondering what others are thinking about me or the such, then it's time to take a look at my program of recovery. Constructive critisim...hmm I think I'm pretty good at accepting constructive critism if there is such a thing. I rather think of it as someone trying to teach me something I don't know and I love to learn, so putting it in that persepective seems to help. And it also depends on who the critism is coming from...lol. Funny this topic should come up. My parents spent quite a bit of money when I was a young girl for braces as to give me a pretty smile. I had beautiful teeth for most my life, but out there drinking, living on the streets, high doses of steroids for the MS, and the such, I have had to have all my upper teeth pulled and am waiting on my plate to be made. Amazing how I sunk back into a low self image of myself, not wanting to smile or look at others for fear of what they were thinking about me having no uppers at the moment. Then I had a little talk with myself and remembered, that the only thing that really matters is if I am comfortable in my own skin, and today, thanks to the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous, I am, comfortable in my own skin. our beauty comes from within, and one thing I love about online AA is that we sort of get to know each other without the inital first impression of physical attributes. I've been fortunate to meet many of the folks that I attend online meetings with, in person and having gotten to know them through their typing first was a wonderful gift. Anyway, I'm rambling, here at almost 4am. Thanks for the topic. Go to meetings, stay sober and pay your bills as a good friend says...lol.. Peace, Kathleen


Member: Lonie Mc.
Location: San Marcos, TX
Remote Name: 147.26.110.181
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 12:56 PM -0500

Comments

Howdy, Yall: I'm Lonie Mc., an alcoholic. The Al-anon idea of detachment really helped me here. Basically, it is minding my own business and realizing that your opinion of me is not my business. In my experience, criticism and judgment never help anyone. It also really helped when I realized "you spot it you got it" didn't just apply to me, but to others digging at me. Most of the time someone is trying to hand me their own stuff. Now, all of this is very different than feedback from my sponsor or program friends. I look at what she says carefully because she usually speaks to me with God's voice. Sometimes, I take it to heart, others I don't. My recovery and growth is really between me and my HP. I have only to answer to s/he for it. Finally, I saw my sister over the holidays. She is a master at criticism and I used to give her a lot of power in that area. I noticed this year that her criticism didn't even phase me because her opinion of me doesn't matter anymore and I'm so solid in my program and with my HP. So, it does work!! Take what you like and leave the rest.


Member: King's Dragon
Location: Karmic Retribution
Remote Name: 64.12.96.233
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 05:00 PM -0500

Comments

After some considerable amount of sorting time I came into the conclusion that the answer to the question pose above, by the one who opened up the topic is already in the way she leads others in the question itself. When I interviewed a homeless person back then his answers were succinct and he said, there are obvious signs of "no trespassing", but people still do that because if they can give a lick, they can take one. He said pain when you inflict it yourself is because you are epitomizing something but when pain is inflicted unwarrantly then that's when it is more painful (or I guess as I think that's what he implied). It is easy to flagelate ourselves but when somebody flagelate us without our permission that we get angry. Likewise our ego inflates when we talk about our mistakes and moralize on ourselves in our sharings in meetings, but when our enemies harshly judge us and criticize us then we take it into war. I don't have to do the 4th and fifth Step to know my mistakes and shortcomings, people are always quick to do that service for me. But the fact is that the ability for one to get back at the insulter determines one's socio-economic status in society. That is why the greater the nation the more arms and military it has.


Member: Ken J
Location: Calgary
Remote Name: 142.59.197.207
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 09:27 PM -0500

Comments

hello my name is ken and I'm an alcoholic


Member: Kelly M
Location: NH
Remote Name: 64.12.96.233
Date: 08 Jan 2004
Time: 09:46 PM -0500

Comments

Hi ((All)), Kelly an alcoholic. Good topic Gabriella. I wish I had the answer to that problem. I am thin skinned and have been since childhood. I was overly sensitive and used to cry at the drop of a hat. I also had a hard time taking constructive critisizm at work. I always felt not good enough and took it to heart. I definately had an inferiority complex! Today how I deal with it sober is based on my spiritual condition on the given day. If I feel at one with God outside stuff is not taken so personally. Growing up in my family we were constantly judged on appearance and I used to try and make my outsides look good. Inside I could be dying inside but on the outside I appeared ok. My HP wants me to be ok on the inside. I'm doing the hard work on that now and the funny thing is I'm starting to not care about the little things that don't matter. I can go to the store without makeup or a meeting in sweats. I'm there to get sober not to look good! That was a huge step for me and it just came about once I felt at peace with myself. As for critisizm I can take it from people if it is something I need to work on, a character defect, etc. If not I don't immediately accept it. I then question the source and the reasons behind it. Sometimes it has nothing to do with me at all but with the other person. "99% of what goes on in the world has nothing to do with me". Forget who said that? Very true, Take Care, Kelly :)


Member: maverick
Location: remote
Remote Name: 171.75.160.87
Date: 09 Jan 2004
Time: 12:29 AM -0500

Comments

Well, well, you don't say? Considering I'm the one evryone in real-life meetings and here both just absolutely love to hate, it's darn good thing my skin is thicker than average gators I guess. Funny thing considering I was actually a real Gator at one time, and now a distinguished member of the alumni. You know, that's what they call us Florida boys, Gators? Anyway, it's less than human to be totally unconcerned with what others think, yet it obviously should not play an overridding part of anyone's decision-making process. It's just like most other things, all in the balancing act and finding out what's healthy and what's not, often the hard way, but on those rare occasions, rather easily at times. I know nobody here or in real-life AA cares for the mav and my nonconformist attitudes to irrational and unthinking aspects of AA and the others within it, the whole trick has beeen becoming not just able to cope with the vast differences, but to actually transcend them. I truly don't really care much rather I speak way above or way below anyone else, as long as someone else is on the same wave-length. A funny thing happened along the way.... I've actually found a few fellow travelers on at least a portion of the same path for short periods of time, until our roads begin to fork and we part. They have all been special and I shall be eternally grateful to all whom have played a even the seemingly most insignificant of roles in my story. The journey is long and sometimes treacherous, but as I've laughed along the way, all the while watching the very narrowing of that very entrance to which I seek passage, one thing has become crystallized in my memory: "Angels can fly because they take themselves lightly."


Member: Marilyn K
Location: Oregon, USA
Remote Name: 12.213.99.242
Date: 09 Jan 2004
Time: 01:55 AM -0500

Comments

My name's Marilyn, alcoholic. I was always an "overly sensitive" child, but through working the Steps and with other alcoholics, the tough skin found me. By losing [some of] my pride, gaining humility, I became more confident. ?!? One of the many mysterious benefits that HP graces us with through working this program. I now usually laugh at insults, spinning them into sitcom scenarios. Most people are 2 busy thinking of themselves to think of me. That is so freeing! Sure I still hurt, but I choose to not live in hurt today. If this was my last 24 hours, I wouldn't want to spend it in self pity or resentment. I learned at 7 years I was not only powerless over alcohol, I was powerless over life - husbands, lovers, friends, family, coworkers, employees, bosses... and at that time I learned that somehow I had never believed in the first 7 years that I was powerless over anything besides alcohol - that was a newly discovered bit of insanity! I'm a slow learner. Nine years later I'm sober, sweet 16 and insanely happy! It works if you work it (and it's cheaper)!


Member: King's Dragon
Location: Karmic Retribution
Remote Name: 152.163.253.70
Date: 09 Jan 2004
Time: 06:04 AM -0500

Comments

Hey you Higher Powers of this site! Why did you censor some of the lines that I have written?? What kind of cowardly deed was that anyway? YOu yourselve say, there is nothing that a person can say that could harm you, if you don't allow it, then why this censorship? I can't believe you people.


Member: Susan A.
Location: Vernon, Connecticut
Remote Name: 204.167.53.77
Date: 09 Jan 2004
Time: 05:09 PM -0500

Comments

Hi All, I'm Susan and I'm an Alcoholic. Late coming to the meeting this week 8^). In situations like the topic, I try to act by the saying 'What I think of me is my business. What you think of me is between you and God.' If what the person is saying hits home (feeling defensive is a good clue for me), it falls into the 'what I think of me' category. I try to act rather than react to what is being said, the tone, the look, whatever. And I try to think calmly and honestly about what's being said, not my history with the person. If there IS some truth in it that I need to change or adopt, then I can practice humility (yuck), and even thank the person for helping me. And I can CHANGE, which is how that self-esteem is built. If I'm doing what I feel is honest and correct, then I feel honest and correct. Good stuff. And like the saying goes ' if you keep on doing what you're doing, you'll keep on getting what you're getting'. Happy New Year to all, and keep bringing you ass...the rest will follow.


Member: dave jr
Location: ohio
Remote Name: 205.188.209.140
Date: 09 Jan 2004
Time: 08:37 PM -0500

Comments

hi i am dave and i am definately an alcoholic. i have been sober for almost 6 months. i was in a halfway house for 3.5 months. it was a very good program and a goog wake up call for me. i can actually realize how my thinking (or not thinking) caused me alot of problems. i realize now that i can only change myself & can not dwell on what others think of me or i do not worry what i need to do to fit in. i just need to be myself and help myself by staying sober.


Member: Darold S.
Location: Alaska
Remote Name: 216.47.16.9
Date: 10 Jan 2004
Time: 12:44 AM -0500

Comments

Good stories just got off work an wanted to read so i thought id share alittle bit more incouragement to staying sober thats to all


Member: Rarely
Location: rontherocket@hotmail.com
Remote Name: 206.45.164.157
Date: 11 Jan 2004
Time: 10:34 PM -0500

Comments

Looks like someone forgot to open up the room today, and I don't have a key. Has anybody got a spare key ? Ive come a long way for this meeting, and its cold and snowing. Guess maybe I should go over to the Grapevine group they have a meeting almost the same as this. In the mean time may you all walk in the sunlight of the spirit Rarely