Member: FAYLA   G
Location: GALENA KS
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:14:16

Comments

hi fayla Alcoholic here ,its that time agin srarting a new pot of coffee and a new sober week ,hope its a good one for everybody.love fayla g


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:14:30

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Mike, pick up the phone and call the central office and tell them exactly what you just told us and theywill get someone to you. If you want tostay sober, you will find a way if you do not, you will find an excuse. Good luck and I hope and pray you make the right choice.--------Fayla, your boxer must truely be very special to you since the history of your drinking ties in with him. Don't you wish we copuld forgive as completely and quickly as dogs do. They do not hold grudges and are always there. You have heard me talk of my Tobie and you know how special she is to me. Thanks so much for that warm and touching share.-------I went to a speakers meeting tonight and the speaker was sober 45 years. I sat about 7 feet in front of him and I was able to UNDERSTAND only about 20% of what he said. This one of the main reasons this site is so very important to me. Here I can HEAR and UNDERSTAND everything that is said and I love it. This has been a good week on coffee pot and the discusion meeting and the step meeting. I am looking forward to the week coming up and it will be even better. Love to all in the fellowship and the program. Sanders


Member: Bill W
Location: Nova Scotia
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:24:52

Comments

This is the first use of this facilityand I've really enjoyed it. To Alex I highly recomend attending meetings and seek a sponsor.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:34:35

Comments

Does anyone know a good recovery chat line? I would love to spent some spare time yacking! It would be useful to this stay at home mom


Member: LisaA
Location: SD
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:41:41

Comments

Stay at home mom Debra D. I could use one too. Nice to know us moms are not alone out here. It not that easy to leave the little ones and rush out all the time. Used to do that in beginning sobriety, but have to find balance today. Thats what being sober is all about, being that good human being today.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:42:05

Comments

This is Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. Miki -- It's 10:38 p.m. where I am. Please stay at this site or e-mail me at mabaker_97@yahoo.com. I'll keep checking back here until about 1 a.m. Keep it simple...don't drink. This too shall pass.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:47:35

Comments

This is Charlotte again, still a grateful recovering alcoholic. Miki, if there's a phone book where you are, look in it, find number for AA, call that number and tell them how you're feeling. I'm sure someone will talk to you and/or come get you for a meeting. Praying for you and me, for each of us is just one drink away....


Member: CHAMP     H G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 20 Jun 1998
Time: 23:54:38

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic ,Thank you Sanders it was strange how i got champ ,there was a drug bust out here and he belonged to the guy they busted ,i had just lost a dog iloved so much i didnt want to go threw that agin ,champ wasnt very old and i had sent my boyfreind over to feed and water him several times ,the night of the bust my aunt and alot of other pepole were sitting there watching the police tear threw the guys house ,my aunt owns this trailer court.a cop walked over and told my aunt they might half to destroy the dog and she asked me if i wanted him ,i said no ,so she took him and i came home the next day from work ,he was chaned up by my house ,my boyfreind had decided he wanted him ,so hes been ours ever since ,he had quite a life out here ,he loves kids and balls and everyone who pats him on the head ,love and hugs Fayla AND CHAMP


Member: Richard: Sundance Kid
Location: West Coast
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 00:20:57

Comments

Richard "The Sundance Kid" here, and I'm an alcoholic. Hey DB Casedy does that sound better?? I was reading the others and they weren't quite prim for prim-time. LOL Mike, that AA hotline number is a life saver. When I got sober I was white knuckling it for about sixty days. I kind of swore I'd do it on my own. He,he,he,he. Then in Las Vegas I was in desperate need of help. It's a long story and you know how I like to be short and sweet. So, I had a choice of going into the casino "just to play" and get relief from a stressfull "drinking" situation. Or, calling a number I knew would be there. Bingo, there was a meeting. Only me and two other people, but that is a meeting with an alternate.

Hang in there patna!!!!


Member: Miki
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 00:26:27

Comments

Miki, and I'm still a sober alchoholic. Thank you Charlotte. It helps a lot to have someone actually hear. I do need help dealing with some issues. I know I can't deal with them drunk, and I know if I don't find a way to deal with them I won't be able to stay sober. I really need to find a meeting that I can go to and talk freely. I am a from a very small town where anonymouty just doesn't happen. I have a gut full of bitterness that I don't even really want to get rid of which tells me just how messed up I have gotten. You see, I live right next to a person who let her husband molest my daughters, and I trusted her, and now I have to see her every day, and I don't go to church any more because she plays the organ. No, I'm not kidding. And I can't get support from my inlaws because you see, its their daughter. My husband just stopped dealing with it by withdrawing into his world...you know...the same one I said I have been "surviving" in. I pray for the strenght to keep trying untill I find an emotional way out of this. I have tried seeing psychologists, and have been told to move away, to get away from it. But my husband won't leave. Next year he will be released from prison. My niece will be 8 years old. The same age my daughter was when he first molested her. I'm sorry. I don't like to lay this on people. It makes me feel so sick. Thank you, Charlotte.


Member: Linda P
Location: CA, USA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 00:27:05

Comments

Hi everyone, Linda an alcoholic. Spent the day enjoying my three grandchildren. Took them minature golfing and to see Titanic. Had a marvelous time.

A special welcome to those visiting here for the first time.

Debra and Lisa, I attend two live chat AA rooms, but for the life of me, I shall have to get back to you on the addresses. They are both listed in my favorities, and I do not have their addresses written down; Glen, the last address you posted for an AA chat is one of those I am using, maybe you can post it again for me and others who want it; Sanders, I can understand about the hearing loss. Although not that bad, I have a tendency to split from the rooms after meetings because all the voices acting in unison drive me into confusion. I want to pick up a conversation, but all I get is a lot of distroyed sounds. Frustrating. People, if they do not know me, think I am rude when I do not respond to their conversations right away. It takes a lot of effort to be social under such conditions.

Pat Z, how are you doing this fine evening? Did you get that e-mail situation straightened out?

Bye for now, read you all later.

Love to all, Linda P


Member: Miki
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 00:30:57

Comments

I just read what I wrote. Not too clear. "he" is not my husband. The He that will be released from prison is my brother-in-law!


Member: Linda P
Location: CA, USA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 00:39:27

Comments

Hi again, Linda alcoholic. Miki, you and I posted one minute apart. First of all, I wanted to welcome you to our site. Also, I wanted you to know I felt for your situation, and will keep you and your daughter in my prayers that God show you a way to some resolution in this matter regarding your daughter's safety. Hang in here.

Fayla, a boxer name champ? Cleaver name. Never thought the breed would be friendly. Glad that arrrangement has worked out for you. As for me, I am the cat lover. No pets now though.

Love to all, Linda P

the breed's of dog right?


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 01:55:39

Comments

This is Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict! Miki, I'm glad you're hanging around. This is a wonderful place where people will share honestly and do all they can to help you. Like Sanders said, however, you need to call someone and get to a face to face meeting. Do you still have a sponsor? Or is there one member in your town you feel you can talk to, one on one? I live in a small town, too...as do several others who share here. And there are issues that one might hesitate to "put on the table" in a community where "everybody knows your name". Those are the things we take to a sponsor or other trusted individual. Please remember to live in today, for today is all we have; and they tell me "don't forecast the storm"...it may never come. We have to live in today and live in the solution. Richard...sorry, Sundance. You remain delightful. You and David B would liven up any f2f and keep 'em coming back for the next episode. I enjoyed your "God" share, and all others. Fayla, your shares are always straight from the heart...and I love reading them. Sanders, feel free to test your icq by contacting me. Whenever the kids let me "have a turn" on the computer, I have icq turned on and love to get messages from AA friends. Well, I've got to drive to Jackson and take daughter-in-law and grandchildren to catch bus home. I've enjoyed these days with them so much...sober. Love to you all. From the Gateway to the Delta, hometown of Jerry Clower, Zig Ziglar, and Willie Morris, this is is Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict.


Member: Pat Z.
Location: CA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 02:22:08

Comments

Good eveniing, all ! ! I'm Pat Z., a alcoholic yhat's had a interesting :) last couple of days. I have fallen, hitting my head( an area that is my strongest point), "lost" a day, had dis agreement with a family member (or my nephew just didn't want to help my mom out and bring over dinner), and haven't been able to e-mail out. I'm just so glad that all of you are "here", for I need a meeting! It's been hard just to handle being in a wheel chair as will as family relationships, but need to remember that my stenght comes from up above. I need to only glance around me but gaze to my H.P,!

Linda, The e-mail that you sent me explains what was happening with my mail. Thank you, gal!!!

Welcome to this site, Miki. Hope to hear from you soon.

Doris, Bonnie, Fayla, Amy, Kerry, Jim, David, and Richard...I Get so much from all of you!!!

(And from Sanders as well!) What happened to Andy?...Did he try to cross over on the Bull's paster? O.D.A.A.T. & Rule 62 for all that run across this site. Thank you for letting me share ! Pat Z.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 02:26:08

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic, DB Casidy huh, that might work, and it might even be a PC way to use the name without ruffling anybody's feathers!

It might make me lean toward schizophrenia though. Multiple personalities is a place we've tried to stay away from. I don't think we could handle schizophrenia with the little problem we already have with paranoia. The paranoids are after me you know.

For anybody that happens to be new to this site or new to the program I am still trying to get over Friday. The very best way I have ever found to get over a bad day or a bad accident or a bad marriage or a bad anything is to stop focusing on how bad off I am, don't drink, and get my eyes on the solution. Sometimes I have to chuckle a little before the solution starts looking good. Even if the solution still looks crappy I don't drink, no matter what.

Don't get me wrong, my entire life has not gone South, I just had a bad day and unlike my friend Andy T. I sometimes have a difficult time making lemonade when God gives me lemons. Me, I go fishing to catch fish so I'll have something to use the lemons on and the fish don't bite for me. Yea, but my twelve-year-old son did catch a fifteen inch rainbow trout. Yea, but I only smoke trout, can't use the lemons on it. OH, yea! The lemons were a metaphor to begin with and I figured I had a whole sack of them to use.

I have laughed enough. Now I can sit back and know that while I was a little whacked my friends here on the coffee pot were taking care of me. Linda, Andy, Bonnie, Amy, Sanders, Montana Mike, Doris, Sundance, Jim D., Glen, Pat, Caryn, and more. If you are new you should be going to meetings. If you just can't quite handle face to face yet this might be the perfect place to get started. I've got a bunch of years sober but before I found this site I was living the program with a select few AA's and hadn't been to a real meeting in almost two years. (A real meeting has a coffee pot and takes a 7th tradition) This site has reawakened the desire to go back to F2F. I went to a meeting last week and was in heaven.

When newly sober in LA, choices for meetings were practically endless within ten miles of my house. After I moved to Idaho Falls in 91 my choices for meetings dropped from practically infinite to less than twenty meetings per week. AND a lot of the people in those meetings had already formed their own opinions about just what the Big Book said. AND with this being a progressive disease my alcoholism had been growing right along with my OPINIONS.

That is what has been so nifty (isn't that a bitchin' word Sundance?) about this site. I have been given back what I had in LA as far as volume is concerned and all ya'all have given me a chance to mellow some of my OPINIONS even though they do still exist.

Keep Coming Back new people, you are our lifeblood. We exist to serve. Sound too good to be true?? Give it a try, you'll see.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Miki
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 02:45:56

Comments

Miki is still sober and trying to get tired enough to sleep. The light bulb came on and I think it is time for a little step work. I think I'll try to stick around for a while because you that have heard me tonight are the only ones that know that I'm not alright, and I leave you with the job of seeing to it that I forget to remember that I have a lot to work on. Since I'm not at home (house & pet sitting for friends) maybe I can find a bible and big book online....It's been warm being inside a AA group again. Thanks. G'night


Member: Terry P.
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 03:18:04

Comments

Hi everyone especially Miki, we are so glad you're going to try to get some sleep. It's been a joy checking out the different meetings tonight. We would also be interested in some A.A. chat rooms or additional meetings online. Perhaps someone could e-mail us at misty@linkline.com, we are pretty new to this computer stuff. Goodnight everyone. Thanks for letting us share. Stay sober! Terry & Laurie.


Member: delores c
Location: las vegas
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 03:23:10

Comments

Hello, this is Delores-alcoholic. Miki, you will probably hear from me and my twin sister Doris if you stay aroung this room...we were sexually molestes by our dad for ever so many years and even though I have no profound wisdoms to share I am here to help you all that I can and you have my support. We are 52 years old and seem to have landed on our feet but there were years of pain and confusion when we seemed to have no one to turn to but each other. At least we had each other. I am sure what you are going through is HELL, but if you follow your head, seek the resources available to you and give yourself permission to be human and make your own judgements you may find that you can be satisfied with your solutions. Just remember, only you can make your decisions, if your husband chooses to hide from the problems, he will have to deal with them when he comes around but you really can take control of your own decisions, thoughts, and actions right now. It will be tough, I pray for your and your situation. Stick with us...thre is some real wisdom from the people on these pages, the varried experiences can do a lot to show us how to come to decisions we can make from a more informed position. I wish you well, Love, Delores


Member: Delores C.
Location: Las Vegas
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 03:36:57

Comments

Delores here again, still alcoholic, Miki, just thod I'd say, I have never gotten out of bed to sign on, but "something" made me get up here after midnight to check to "pot" and here you are. I feel you are in the right place, these people never "get tired" of hearing from someone in need such as yourself so please continue to share as you have and I know you will hear from some people who really care about you. I hope Doris chimes in soon. Please listen to here as she has some pretty special gifts.....not just kuz she's my sis you understand. It's almost 1AM & I gotta go to bed. Love again, Delores-Las Vegas


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 04:59:36

Comments

This is Charlotte, grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Well, I promised to check in after I got back home & here I am. I read the posts since I've been gone and see that as always, all is well. Glad Miki is going to look for Bible and/or Big Book online. They are available. Can't remember addresses right now. And, thanks, Delores and all others for your late night shares. I'm gonna get the road dust off and rest. ( All is well because God is in charge and not Charlotte.) Love to each and everyone. Love to all.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: The banks of the Snake River
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 05:56:29

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic.

First day of Summer - YES!!! So glad I don't feel the need to go "celebrate" at the old haunts anymore!!

Newcomers - Welcome Home!! If you don't feel like your here yet, it's okay. If you stick around, and you are an alcoholic, you will feel the love and caring you have been missing. Just for today, don't drink.

Ive been staying quiet here, just soaking it all up. I have found that I hear alot more when my lips aren't flapping all the time!! That's just for me today.

It's late, gotta go. I love you all and be good to yourselves today.


Member: sophie
Location: Australia
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 07:03:49

Comments

Sophie p here from Gold Coast Australia. One day at a time have been clean and sober for almost almost six months interested to hear from other alcoholics and addicts. I don't "chat" all that often as I chat on my sisters computer. Ilook forward to the next time i do to listen to all of your "chatting" hang in there everyone and remember don't pick up. goodbye from Aus.


Member: sophie
Location: australia
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 07:23:05

Comments

Hi Sophie here again. I need some advice on sharing at "real" meetings. I know I have to swallow that false pride and just do it. I am interested to talk to other people my age as most of my friends in the fellowship are older. I am interested to meet people of all ages too. Oh I am 21 by the way. Anyway I look forward to listening to others share as it helps remind me of who I am, what happened what's happening now and the things I have to look forward to. Remember no matter what happens don't pick up. Well Goodbye from Aus

Sophie


Member: Jane
Location: Ma.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 07:39:18

Comments

Fayla, I read the archives and your touching story about Champ. I had a boxer as a kid, a wonderful animal. Part of my continuing amends is to pets: my drinking day's animals were often neglected. Champ is blessed to be in your loving care.

Welcome, Miki. There are so many caring folks here to support you. Add my prayers to the others.

Linda, I forgot to include my congratulations on your AA (18th?) anniversary. You are real power of example here. My grandson is coming for a visit today. He's two.. His latest is a constant rendition of the children's song "Oh do you know the muffin man?". Except the he says, " I don't know nuffin', man". Me neither. <s>

I am loving the exchange between Butch and Sundance. You guys are hilarious. Your sharing on spirituality last week just added another interesting dimension to the patnas.

Hey, Kerry, nice to hear from you. Mary, I'm coming to join you in the sultry wheat fields. The slugs are taking over the world here in the N.E. I hear that salt kills them, but what about the plants?

A lovely sober week to all of you. Thanks, Sanders, for researching the e-mail.


Member: Jane
Location: Ma.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 07:50:43

Comments

P.S.---Pat Z. hope you recover from injury soon. Enjoying your "voice" here. Sophie, welcome from down under!! Isn't it a marvel? Good luck reaching out at F2F meetings. I used to pray for courage to open up.

Try beginning with just one sober person who has something that you want--a healthy and contented sobriety. I was given the very wise suggestion to "stick with the women." Come back!! Love to all, Jane


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 11:42:19

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - Welcome Sophie and others who are new here. Sophie, I have a friend here who is petrified to go to meetings because she is afraid that she will have to speak, and she doesn't want to. I deliver her AA pamphlets and got her a big book and we have our own meeting while we visit. I can assure you, no one will ever make you share at a meeting if you don't want to, but opening up and sharing anything that is on your mind will benefit you and others more than you can imagine. If you go to a tag meeting, where someone calls on you, just say you are happy to be there, and would just like to listen today, thanks. Then the next time say little bit more until you get comfortable enough to get the full benefit of giving and receiving at meetings. I had such high anxiety when I first went to meetings and sobered up that I would have a full blown panic attack when it was my turn. Anyone who has ever experienced them knows that the feeling is like being on the 13th floor of a high rise on fire and you are the only one that can hear the fire alarms going off. Always remember that what you have to say might just be what someone else needs to hear. Happy Father's day to all the dads out there, mine is in Las Vegas having fun at the MGM grand today, I'm sure he is having a ball. B & S the male bonding is very special, thanks for sharing.


Member: fayla   g
Location: galena    ks
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 11:45:03

Comments

FAYLA G ,ALCOHOLIC ,Miki your not alone we love you,Jane thank you ,Charllot my love and prayers are with you .PAT Z welcome ,welcome.linda champ is gentle as a lamb ,but i understand some boxers are mean .deloris glad your here ,where is that sister of yours ? hi kERRIE , sophie and lisa love you all fayla g


Member: Kim D.
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 12:20:04

Comments

Hi, Kim D here, just want to introduce myself, since this is my first time here. The internet still feels a little awkward for me. I didn't realize until I signed back on this morning, that my comments "shared" in the discussion meeting were posted on this "new" weeks meeting instead of last week as I intended. So my "share" seemed off-topic and perhaps inappropriate. OK, that's certainly not the first time I've been off-topic and at the very least "coming from left field". Please forgive me. I will reread the instruction on posting and get with the program.

I was really glad to find your meetings. I am soon to be 3 years sober, married with 2 children. I'm a stay-at-home mom. My kids are 9 and 4 years old. We just moved to Florida about 6 months ago (my first move sober) so I'm feeling some growing and adjusting pain in my life and sobriety. Some days are diamonds and so are dirt, but they are all begin and end sober. Being sober means all other things are now possible in my life and that means "hope" for me. One of the things I lack being in a new place is friends. The f2f meetings I go to (the only one within 30 miles)is very small (only 3-4 people, including me) is good, but just enough sometimes. I spend a fortune calling my sponsor and friend in recovery back home. So you see, I'm looking to widen my circle of friends and share what I have.

You sound like a good group of "winners" to me. Hope to get to know you all better. Bye, for now. Kim D.


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 12:56:56

Comments

Good morning everyone. Last night's meeting was wonderful, and I oculdn't wait to get back online so see how everyone was this morning, especially Miki. I too, know what it's like to take my sobriety for granted, and figure what's the use, so you're not alone, keep coming back. I look forward to hearing more from all of you. Happy Father's Day to all dads. Have a great sober day. Terry


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 14:20:08

Comments

Hey friends, My name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Micki hang in there. Many above have given great advice I only want to second it and offer my friendship and support. I have not been in a situation exactly like yours but I have been in one when my life was completely out of control and it helped me to admit that I was an alcoholic and that drinking was only a symptom of the sickness which made the problems grow and grow. Sleep is a good place to start, I rarely make good decisions when I am exhausted, even now in recovery. Welcome everyone new to this site. I agree that last week was a great meeting. I feel like I was able to grow alot. My man and I did not end up going to the hills(alps) after all this weekend because he came home with a cold friday night. I came on line last night for a while and read the posts then went to sleep a happy lady, just thinking of many of you guys (Cassidy and Sundance for example). Jane I wanted to say we also have a HUGE problem with snails here in the land of cheese and chocolate, hey where do you think the holes in the cheese come from, hehe just joking on that one. But we have to put out a poision called 'schneckekerners' little blue balls about the size of cat litter or you can kiss the flowers goodbye that are not elevated in window boxes. Last night I took the compost out and set the box down while I watered the garden. I brought it back in and about an hour later went to put some melon peels in it and laid my hand right on top of one of those slugs, Michelle talk about PANIC ATTACK! Now some friends here know I have a problem with the NERVES and these slugs sure don't help matters! My man said ' well Amy if you didn't put out so much poision in the garden they wouldn't have to retreat, the poor slug also wants to live'...Charlotte I laughed so hard last night at your story about alcohol smelling us up for days after a drinking binge when you said it smelled like moo shoo pork, cracked me up, I love that dish and of course havn't had it in ages, the swiss aren't big on chinese food just like the chinese aren't big on cheese. Ruby bravo for being in a bread baking contest. I was in a BISCUIT BAKEOFF when I was 15 and won 10 bucks, my dad bragged to every date I brought hime that my biscuits were the best in the south, hehe. Charlotte I had to LOL when you said southern women don't sweat they glisten, today I am telling you I did sweat. The cold weather has gone and it is indeed summer, 30 today I think that is in the upper 90's F. My man said same animals (like the eguana) glisten (he used the word glance, I cracked up) when they want to attract a mate so you watch out down there in the Bayou my friend. Along the topic of animals being non judgemental, my siamese Lewis was with me through all my drinking days and he and I really fell in love when I sobered up, he's been the love of my life since! He doesn't like this heat today though. Special hello also to Martina, Lisa from NYC, Tony from the middle east and Tommy from S.F., as well as the young mothers who posted earlier. Hey to everyone else as well. PS to the teckies or anyone else who can help, I have no idea how to pull up archives...Love Amy GC (Swiss Miss) PSS Linda I appreciated what you wrote last night about how you work the program, I coppied it down into Word to work on this week.


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 14:27:42

Comments

Richard: the Sundance Kid and I'm a alcoholic. That is one of the kinder things I've been called. Jane, I love ya "like a sister", but don't get me started. The following is simply meant as a second opinion for the newer comer, and not a dismissal of your opinion. And, I believe choosing a same gender sponsor is a good buffer with regards to all the issues I've heard regarding this subject. My opinion on the subject of "cross gender recovery" is different. When I was new, I had an opportunity to read the B.B. and was impressed with the fact that we all have something in common: the common bond that ties us together. You know the shipwreck and the cement part of the B.B. Men and women alike must cling together or swim alone.

If someone has had problems in the past, they should take responsibility for choosing & staying in those relationships rather than being in FEAR of the opposite sex, or the same sex. Where should abused lesbians go for comfort and safety: a male meeting?? What about abused gay men?? This afore mentioned FEAR is called a logical fallacy in nicer words. When you project the actions of one or a few onto a whole population you are creating a logical fallacy, and are not living in reality. How many diversified groups are we going to have, and will they even satisfy all of the different types of unique alcoholics and their different ways of being a victim??? I doubt it. We have all been hurt. Some more than others, BUT WE ARE ALL ALCOHOLICS. Lets face it both sexes have been known to be low down and devious, so you can be taken advantage of by anyone that you let do so. Take responsibility for yourself, and you will find no victim, only a survivor.

As far as child abuse, I guess we could segregate by age. I mean can those of us abused in the last generation really trust our elders when it comes to recovery??? Either sex??

This is not an attack on anyone. I said I love ya Jane "like a sister", so I hope you do not hate me now. I DO NOT WANT TO GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, BUT I FEEL A RESPONSIBILITY TO CONVEY ALTERNATIVE VIEW POINTS IF MY EXPERIENCE DICTATES. Even if it means that I am not liked, I can not shy away from fighting for unity and brotherly/sisterly love. BUT WITH THAT SAID, BE CAREFULL THERE ARE BAD PEOPLE OUT THERE. THEY COIME IN ALL DIFFERENT SIZE, SHAPES, COLORS, SEXES, AND IDEOLOGIES.

DB CASIDY, I realized a bit too late, but I agree that this has a cooler, slicker, and a more masculine rhyme to it. He,he,he. Sorry, If I flopped on the first few attempts. He,he,he. Oh, about the personalities I'm already a NUT so who cares: sanity is relative not to mention irrelevant to a NUT. Ha,ha,ha. And, do I ever dig the word NIFTY. Isn't that nifty.

Charlotte, He,he,he,he,he,he. That's cool.

This morning I got up early and was dacncing, it was amazing: all of a sudden the sun came up. Did I make the sun rise??? No, but if I thought so then I'd be creating another type of logial fallacy. But, I'd still believe it.

I love ya'all, and I do not care how you recover. But, if we are going to start marking territory I'm going to have to start loading up on my Diet Pepsi!! He,he,he.

Read ya'all later alligators. Time for me to go visit my daddy.

Ps. Anyone hears the song called Just the Two of Us. That song really portrays how a father feels about the bond with his children.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 14:50:16

Comments

Good afternoon, all. I am Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Happy Father's Day to all fathers and single moms. Reading here I realize how blessed we were to have our father who provided for, guided, protected, and just plain loved us and his grandchildren. And my mother, his wife of 50+ years. He did not live to see me get sober. I'm not sure he even knew I needed to. But I trust that he has "joined the saints" and looks down each day to see me living a sober life, one day at a time. That is the only amends I can make to him. I am grateful today for the fact that my oldest two sons are good fathers. A lot of that is due to the example they had in their "Grampy". One is messaging me on ICQ now, so I'll go. Until later, love to all.


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 15:37:18

Comments

DebraD and LisaA -- some of us here have downloaded ICQ (I seek you -- cute, huh) which is free -- then you can chat w/ each other. It's @

http://www.mirabilis.com/

If you want to try it, we can help. I just got my first message from Doris, and if she can download it, anybody can (sorry, Doris).

Also, there's some chat rooms @

http://www.recovery.org/aa/#onlinemeetings

And, here's where our very own LindaP visits as "Traveler":

http://www.recovery.org/aa/meetings/winners-circle.htm

All of this with the caveat to NOT replace f2f w/online but rather to supplement.


Member:   Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 15:56:52

Comments

Hello;I'm Ruby a grateful recovered alcoholic I am grateful to be here today and anywhere else as well THANK YOU Kerry. At any rate I sure am comfortable I think I'll soak a while also and see if I can learn more(always do when I shut up)


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 16:21:47

Comments

If you decide to download ICQ, my recommendation is to not download it to the "default" area, it makes it too hard to find. Put it on the desktop if you can.


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 16:37:26

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - Richard, ever hear of live and let live? I am not sure why you are so threatened by women seeking support groups that have no men present. Don't worry, we can't continue the human race without you. We are fortunate to have all kinds of recovery options in this day and age. Bill W. and Dr. Bob had to travel to a different city hundreds of miles away just to have a meeting. Now we have AA in almost every city, sometimes every hour of the day, rehab centers, detox centers, crisis lines, sponsors, big books, pamphlets, videos, you name it. It does not make recovery easier, but it makes it more available for those who want it. With all these options available for people seeking help, it should be possible for those who want to go to same sex meetings to be able to go, for whatever reason. The message is the same in all groups - don't drink. When you take the drink away, sometimes there are issues that need to be dealt with by professionals. We are not Psychiatrists, but instead experts on our own alcoholism, and through experience strength and hope we help other alcohlics. So give some thought to letting people live and let live and if it doesn't apply to you, don't worry about it. If there is a solution to your problem then there is no need for worrying. If there is no solution to your problem then there is no sense in worrying.


Member: Jane
Location: Ma.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 17:33:36

Comments

AAhhh, Richard, my brother in sobriety. The venerable old AA saying, "The men stick with the men and the women with the women" is but a suggestion. And it refers only in a general way to our friendships and relationships as a way of avoiding 13th step fiascos. Even then it may be neither possible or workable. Hence, a suggestion.

It has never been a rallying call for same sex meetings as far as I know. Wooaaah, Sundance. Your sister, Jane


Member: Tammy L
Location: Burbank
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 17:49:49

Comments

Good Afternoon Everyone! Tammy alcoholic here. Happy Father's Day to all of the Father's here. My daughter and I just got back from a late brunch with my dad. It was wonderful. My neice asked why I couldn't drink champagne. Allie(my daughter) spoke up and said that I don't drink any alcohol because I go to AA meetings. I thought it was very sweet, she was so proud of me. She also told my neice that I hadn't had a drink in 13 years, I didn't even know that she kept track, considering she wasn't born til I had 5 years sober! Anyway, my realtionship with her is definitely one of the miracles in my life, and I just had to share that story! Welcome to all of the newcomer's. Micki - Hang in there, my prayer's will be with you. Kerry - See I did get on this weekend! Amy - How are you? I will write to you on Monday! Gotta go now! Take care!


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Ore
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 18:23:42

Comments

Good Afternoion everyone, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. I have to plead guilty. I DID have a hell of a time getting the I C Q thing. I am getting it now but I am afraid I did hang up on Mary this morning. Glenn IS right, if Doris can get it hooked up, anyone can. (that's o k Glenn, I love you too) I want to talk to Miki now. Miki, I am afraid I don't have any answers to your situation. I want you to know that I am sitting here right now with the Bar-B-Que cooking outside my window and that fire isn't as hot as the one in me right now. I GET ANGRY whenever this damn stuff happens. I GET ANGRY because you are so far away and I cannot be there (in person) for you. I GET ANGRY at our whole system because they don't just kill these guys and REALLY protect our little ones from them. I know a lot of you out there are going to tell me (again) to "let it go". For the most part I have let it go but I still get very emotional when I hear about it happening 'one more time'. I am sure Miki that you are angry too and I, for one, want to tell you I think that is all right. I used to get so pissed when I couldn't find anyone to validate my anger. I was entitled to the anger. "Don't tell me give it up" for a time I didn't want to give it up. I had a right. So do these children. As for what can you do: When my father was still in prison I was in contact with the shrinks at the facility,(Steilacoom in Wash. state) They assured me that he wasn't any longer a threat. Having lived with his 'threats' all my life I had a hard time believing that. But, I do want you to know Miki that those people in authority over him "OWE" you the courtesey of letting you know what is going on with him. "IS HE STILL A DANGER?" I would call them and ask them. I would tell them that you need all the guarantees that you can get. Of course they will say all the namby pamby things like" I am afraid Mrs Smith that we can't give any guarantees". That is the time for you tell them that they had better be very careful because you WILL hold them responsible for his activities after his release. I have experienced all of this with those authorities and I found that you have to get up your courage and take a VERY strong stance with these people. You said that he wouldn't be released from prison for a while. That is good. Now is the time to start developing a relationship with the people in charge of himn right now. Maybe you could set up something where you could get repotrs on his progress. Staying informed would make you feel better. Oh ! and one more thing. If he won't be released till next year anything could happen. I hear child molesters aren't treated very well in the prison society. There is one more thing I would do Miki. I would pray. I am praying now. I will be praying for you and your situation for a long time. Please don't feel like you have dumped anything on those of us here who care about you. We are concerned about your situation and your SOBRIETY. You haven't drank over it. THAT is GOOD thing. Keep me posted. Love and peace to you Miki, Doris


Member: SandersW
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 18:24:57

Comments

Hi all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Barbara and Ramona,just left, after getting me set for ICQ. As they pulled out the drive way, I tried to recall it to send a message and can't get it to connect for me so I still may not havew it. THEY HAD IT but I DON"T have it. time for me to go to church and I'll try again when I get back. Wish me luck. Talk to you later and love in the fellowship and the program Sanders


Member: Doris H
Location: Oregon
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 19:20:04

Comments

Good afternoon everyone(especially Miki), my name is Doris and I an an alcoholic, - - - Forgive me for taking up so much space Glenn and any other space watch dogs but I have a story to tell. I have been thinking of nothing else but the situation with Miki and her daughter and any other victims this person may have gone after. As most of you know I grew up in an incestuous home and it was my father. I was used sexually from the time I was 4 until I was married. But ! the pressure never stopped. He always said that if I didn't someday give in to him he would kill me and my children. (By the way, I am keeping this in the first person even though Delores was there and just as much a victim as I was. I do not feel right about speaking for her in this, only me) One day my brother called me and said that Dad had been arrested for molesting his nieces. My heart fell. The guilt was almost unbearable. I knew that if he got a chance he would come to where I lived and kill me and my children. He was a very dangerous man. I asked where he was (this all took place in a small town on the peninsula in Wash. state) and my brother told me that he was in jail. This was a Sunday afternoon. Within 4 hours I was told that he had been released in my mothers recognizence. (Yeah, the blind are leading the blind and the nuts are running the institution). She had been in total denial all her life. I didn't know what to do. I placed my children with a friend so that he could not find them and my husband and I moved into a motel. I was home during the day only. I called the judge that ran his hearing and he said he couldn't talk to me. I said, "That 's fine, don't talk, just listen. I want you to know just exactly what you have turned loose." I then went on to tell him the whole rotton story WITH as many details as I could given the time he would listen to me. He started to cry. The damn judge started to cry and said" I had no idea". I then told him that he and the court appointed shrink would be held responsible for anything that happened to any of us. Especially my children. I told him that I was writing a letter to the state attorney general and to the governor (Dixie Lee Ray, an very inflammatory woman), and to my attorney. In this letter I was telling the whole story. I DID ! ! ! all that I said that I would. I then called this so called shrink. It turned out to be a psychology major at the local college who had the authority to advise the judge on whether or not to release this perpetrator. He was in tears as well by the time I GOT DONE with him. My father was picked up within one hour. "I TOOK ACTION". I had to. I also got a gun ready. Of course! ! ! I would have killed him if he even came near any of us. Yes, I can be violent. He taught me that. I CAN take charge. I have had to. I can and will survive. I taught that to myself. I have survived. I thank GOD for that. Forgive me for taking so much space folks, this is the way I deal with my anger over this kind of thing. By TELLING the story. I want everyone in my home town to answer for what was done to us. I want those people to realize that they "let" him get away with it. I will never LET anyone get away with it. I will take action when the need arises, I have done this and will do itagain. I stay within the law, but! I don't worry about anyone being embarressed, especially me. I am not embarressed. I did nothing wrong. He did. I wish you well, Miki. May the Geat Sirit be with you all, Love - - Doris


Member: fayla    g
Location: galena    ks
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 21:07:56

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic ,i got on the icq today i dont know what im doing ,but i will learn!i dont know if my email is working or not,if anyone emailed me its not, suzanne are you doing ok,havent heard from you,hope everythings ok.love and prayers to all. welcome kim d .glad your here, fayla g


Member: Delores C.
Location: Las Vegas, Nv.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 21:22:28

Comments

Hello, this is Delores-Doris' other half-Alcoholic to. Doris can speak for me any time..."Why should she stop now?" Now I have a story to tell, no happy ending though. My story of my having been a co-victim with Doris has a really happy ending but the 2 situations I faced in Las Vegas with children who were victims does not. I tried to help 3 different children in 2 different situations but I was disapointed to find that the Judicial System in Las Vegas is not as interested in the wellbeing of children as it may be in other places. In both cases the children were returned to the abusive homes they had been removed from for investigation (in both cases it was because the parents promised they would leave the state). I never heard from the children in the 2nd situation again. The little girl in the 1st situation was badly burned by her "Halloween" costume and is now unable to speak. I don't know what happened to her either,,,,I only know that I did all that I could to protect the kids and the Judicial system turned a deaf ear and a blind eye to them. I was left feeling frustrated and alone, after all the shouting, but I had to turn it over to God and walk away. There was nothing more I could do at the time...I was quite young at the time,,,,if such a dilema were to come my way again I would handle it differently but I only hope and pray it does not. My reason for relating these storys is so that you will know that you can do all that is within your power and sometimes things just don't turn out the way you plan. You can work hard at anything and sometimes the outcome can be a great deal different that you "projected",,,,just remember you can do the best you can, praying all the while, the outcome is up to God. Best Wishes, Delores


Member: Terry P.
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:02:48

Comments

Hi This is Terry again. First of all to Sundance , I love someone who likes to stir things up, I'm also one that get's uncomfortable with specialty meetings, but LIVE AND LET LIVE. I happen to be a lesbian in a straight club that I love dearly and I also happen to be an incest survivor and sometimes all we need is someone to listen whether that be in A.A. or not. My sponsor Jim has taught me to stay out of other people's programs and focus on my own. What my work for me, may not work for you. Miki, I feel your pain and just know someone heard your story and cares. Laurie says "Hi" too. If you need to or want to talk further you can reach us at misty@linkline.com, what is ICQ, I think that's what it's called. That's all for now. Terry


Member: gary m
Location:
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:06:36

Comments

gary m alcohalic first day thanks for being here


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:12:20

Comments

I'm David , a recovered alcoholic.

Space watchdogs. They would be wearing spiked two inch wide leather collars and would sit before miltiple 17 inch monitors. They would have the power to create a permanent fatal error in your E-mail address or transpose characters in your URL.

Sobriety police, you know of them, they are the ones that can determine if you are sober or just dry.

Balance. That illusive state of being we get to experience occasionally after we work all the steps and begin walking hand in hand with our creator.

It has always tickled me the way we play musical chairs in AA. Sometimes sitting by calmly and watching the passing parade yet other times being part of the show. (thanks Kerry B)

Critics. The people that enter the field of battle after the war is over and meticulously kill all the survivors.(thanks Bonnie C.)

Incest survivors. Members with whom I have a difficult time relating on some topics because of the fact that I personally have no history with incest. I am quite certain that if I did have a history then I would be lookin' to kick some ass. Thank God the alkie history is sufficient to keep us all tied together.

I empathize with you all.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:16:47

Comments

Hi everyone, Linda an alcoholic. Today I made myself useful by taking my Mom shopping. When I got her home I had to deal with an older brother who lives with her who is mentally challenged. It took me a half an hour to explain that I was unable to provide a book of secret codes for his Super Nindendo games. Unfortunately Mom bought him the system at christmas thinking he could master it, as he did so well with another video game he used to own that was way outdated. I had been looking for weeks with the title of the book he had provided, to discover it was for Nindendo 64!!! Exasperated, I had to just walk away. My mother will not accept this book he wants is not available. Oh well. This is one of those, "let's turn it over" days. LOL.

Loved reading the other posts this afternoon. Charlotte reminded me that GOD IS IN CHARGE, very good message for this alcoholic; Kerry thanks for the congrats for my AA birthday. If it has been my natal birthday I would have been alarmed, but adding 4 yrs to my sobriety BB is kind of complimentary. LOL.; Jane, sticking with the Winners is a very good choice, I know that has worked for me; Kim, your group compliment was really nice--I thought that about this group also, here are the winners; Doris, your wonderful to divulge and open up here to help another person in trouble. Bless you and others here that have found the courage to speak up and contribute to others suffering from such issues as those you have endured; Pat Z, hope your doing better today, glad to here the e-mail problem has been rectified; Andy T, Anyone sign your cast yet? How is it going? Don't be hobbling out in the pasture now, you know that bull is waiting for you, and he is a mean critter. Although you probably can keep him at a crutches' length, I can not imagine that detering this animal from running you over. LOL; Glenn, a special thanks for coming up with those addresses again for Debra and Lisa. I jot them down for future reference; Sanders, you will have to let us know how that works out with ICQ. I still have not dared to download it. I am such a chicken. Totally lost when it comes to programming and such; Amy CG, sent you e-mail, thought you were out of town or I would have written sooner. Let me know if you got it okay.

Connie, from LA, looking forward to your continued posting. I would like to know how you are doing? Same for Terry in Alaska, have not heard from you in ages, or seen your posts. Hope all it well with you also.

I would also like to welcome all those new to this site, Mikki, Sophie, Bill W, Debra, Lisa, and Kim, and others I missed or have not posted yet. Keep coming back.

Love to all, Linda P


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:22:06

Comments

I'm David AGAIN. Terry, you and I were posting at about the same time. You said your sponcers name was Jim and you are from Long Beach. That wouldn't be Sailor Jim would it? He should have around 30 to 32 years now if it is the same man that I called sponcer for a time while he was living in Glendale.

Yes or no let me know please.

Love in the Fellowship DB (Cassidy)


Member: Sundance Kid
Location: West Coast
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:36:17

Comments

Richard: the Sun Dance Kid here & still an alcoholic, well I spent today with three generations of men in my family, but we invited the ladies, and some of them even showed up. Mine was busy earning money so that I can stay home and watch TV. He,he,he. And, no I do not own her. It was weird because I saw some of my behaviors in my cousins it was sort of like an AA meeting. Except I'm the only alcoholic: I think. My grandpa was a bit tipsy, my uncle had afew beers, and I had at least six Diet Cokes. I mixed that with about three Sprites. Hope I don't get sick from mixing them. He,he,he,he,he,he. Anyway, my family respects me now, and I saw fear in my cousin's eyes when they heard I'm planning on going to Law school. See, then I'd be the smart kid. Ha,ha,ha. I'm just kidding. See, they both went to Berkley, are younger than I am, and graduated before me: of cores, and here I might be the only one who goes beyond college. It's kind of a family joke because I'm a H.S. drop out. See it's the family joke because I use to be the family joke. LOL

Well, I must admit when I saw my grandpa start to get a bit tipsy I started to think about my old master alcohol, but that was cut short by the putrid smell of old beer. See, as I looked down I realized I was standing over the recycle box. YUUK!!

Then we were eating, I was enjoying my NY steak (I felt guilty, but I thanked the cow. And besides, one cow would not be saved over the amount of beef I eat: once every few months. It's father's day!!) But anyway, my uncle yells out, " who left this half a beer." And out of my mouth popped, " well if there's any beer left in it, it must not be mine"! Well, no one saw the humor in it then either: except me. Ha,ha,he,he. Can anyone relate??

Michelle again you made my post a "male verses female issue". I was talking about many different groups if anyone noticed. There are other groups within AA, which separate themselves from the general population: besides men/women. Do I need to give examples?? May I point out that a man that I know who knew Bill W. and that has been sober for goodness knows how long has a woman sponsor, and he swears by their situation. See, there's another opinion. See, my opinion is that the richest recovery comes in divers groups, just like real life, and one of the main reasons I drank was because I had a problem dealing with reality. And, I find it harsh that you think I'm hostile towards women though it's non-of my business if you really think that. But, I do not think you really believe it, for I think you are just using some old rhetoric to try and make me out to be base. I could explain why I'm no women hating, insecure, oppressor, but I'll take the advice of others and credit it with no comment. All, I can say is that my mom has always been a feminist, my present girlfriend is more independent than most of the people I know in recovery, and that they both know me as a kind, loving, and supportive man. My mom likes female meetings, but my girlfriend & her sponsor think they are silly in many ways, and several of them they think inhibit recovery because of a strong cliquey atmosphere. (she is standing right here) I was only giving a different viewpoint than yours, but I'm just as militant as you are on the subject. And, if you want to talk about it then I'll respond with my thoughts and experience. See, I'm not as good as old DB CASIDY at holding my opinions. Maybe when I get as much time as him I'll acquire that skill. Maybe it will not take that long. He,he,he...…hope ya know I'm joking with you man.

Live and let live??? Darn girl, thought we were patnas... I still like you.

Jane, I had no problem with you giving your suggestion. I said I love ya twice: like a sister ( don't want anyone getting the wrong idea;). I just put my post up so that people would not get the wrong idea about AA. Did anyone ever think that maybe some women like men's company? Well, that is a prerequisite for any girlfriend of mine, and most of the women I know do like men's company and advice: sometimes. So, I do not want them to think that ANY of our original suggestions (you know the twelve) state that women and men should recover separately. There must have been at least one out of a hundred.

I hope that no one was offended by my post, but I did not post with any malice.

Read ya later alligators


Member: Rob S.
Location: Middle Vlg. N.Y.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:40:51

Comments

i'm just glad to know you people are here as i am new to the net god bless all of you.I came to AA in 1986 and struggled for many years. Ihad many secrets from my childhood that i didn't even know about.I woul put 2yrs. together and then start to feel real un comfortable. then I'd drink and I woul be off to the races again.I had to come to terms with my chilhood sexual abuse issues if I even wanted to have a shot at staying sober.Today I'm sober longer than I've ever been since I was 10 yrs. old. I finally by the grace of god, have faced my past . With the love and support of the good people God has put in my life I am alive for the first time. Before I was only half awake through the steps I now know that God as I understand him loves me. This is truly a gift born out of great pain.Today Iknow that love is the most important thing that I have . this love I found in AA.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:42:30

Comments

Hi all Y'all. I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. I now have ICQ, don't know how to use it, but I got it. I was setting here reading my Email and Tobie was by my feet when this puter made a loud funny sound and Tobie jumped and I nearly came out of my chair. It was the machine telling me that Fayla had sent me something on ICQ. I returned the message and then promptly lost it all. I can't even find my addresses or numbers or what ever you call it so you people will just have to be patient with me till I learn how to use it. I told Ramona and Barbara, the ladies who set it up for me this afternoon, that I don't understand all I know about this ICQ yet. My ICQ number is 14412521 if any of you have it and wish to contact me and I'll get back to you soon as I get a handle on it.---- There have been some very good post and I'll get into them and respond to some of you later after I catch up on all this that I have going right now. Love to all Y'all Sanders


Member: jrr
Location: Harmony on the lake
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 22:47:11

Comments

well. good to see i have not missed too much.. and does'nt it say to limit the shares..?? guess some just like to see their words in print.. what ever works i suppose.. hey Glen. I am on icq also.. under my name.. Soberchef1 get up with me sometime.. we can talk about that west coast clown.. who stirs it up all the time.. seriously, welcome to the newcomers...and just get close to meetings.. and don't drink.. today.. the rest will unfold in time.. keep it simple.. and get a sponsor.All else will occur in time.. the key is being willing . willing to change ; willing to listen (multiple postee's) and try the suggestions.. and to Aamy .. good to see you .. will get a note off to you soon.. too bad you cannot get ICQ.. that would be a gas.. well. behave all. and try to listen.. patience is a virtue.. peace,jrr


Member: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 23:16:59

Comments

Richard here, jrr I can see you are as peaceful as ever. I've been praying for ya.

I just wanted to say that my cousins actually displayed genuine pleasure at my prospects. But, the whole idea of me in higher education is somewhat funny to everyone.

I hope we are all a happy group again tomorrow. And, sleep tight jrr.

Read ya later alligator.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 23:31:39

Comments

Dear Lisa A from SD if you get this please e-mail me. It sounds like it would be fun to talk. Im at DebraDoerksen@bc.sympatico.ca Bye for now


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 21 Jun 1998
Time: 23:44:53

Comments

Suzanne, alcoholic.

Fayla, I'm doing better, thanks for asking. I've been making changes in my daily routine, being careful as to how I spend my energy. It all seems to be working out OK and the kids have been a great help. I think the humidity is playing havoc - bone, joint and muscle pain. My 9 yr old daughter has juvenile rheumatoid arthritis (diagnosed when she was 1) and always seems to have flare ups when it is humid. I have the air conditioners installed now. I hope that will help.

Luv Suzanne


Member: Chuck le C.
Location:     northern Calif.
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 00:36:52

Comments

HI everybody it seems that my post is contaminated after all thirty two years of living aa without the bull crap I hear at meetings anymore .It s hard to fit in the a.a. world of today. I am not trying to impress anyone with my sobrietty except me. That s the bottom line my sobriety !! You can t give something away that you dont have. Sobriety is all that a.a. promises the other things you open your heart and share with other members a day at a time. I am not an authoroity on a.a or the program or anything for that matter. Tolerance wow!! a.a. used to be at one time ninety nine per cent alcoholics. I am not crying b ut sometimes I find myself at meetings and am really from Chap. Three a real Alcoholic. I live with it because I am an alcoholic and have my H.P. to put his arms out for me when I was on the bank of river drunk as hell wondering if I could ever be human being and be able to live with the people that drove by me in that horrible shape.. With one meeting a week in my town. I have got on a Greyhound bus on a Sat. p.m. went to a Sat. nght meeting, Waited five hours to get back home . you bet I am sober not dry sober cause I earned it ..Chuck le C


Member: Terry P.
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 00:47:03

Comments

Hi Terry and Laurie back again. David B. it very well could be the same Jim K. He's an old Navy Chief with 26 years next month, does he sound familiar, he's also an old rock n' roller especially the Stones. Sundance don't worry about being taken personally you sound like a pretty nice guy with a great sense of humor (he he he). Good night all. Terry & Laurie


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 00:57:17

Comments

Hi Linda an alcoholic. Richard, yes I do relate to that remark about the beer. I would never have left a drink unfinished, LOL; Rob, welcome to this meeting. Glad you could join us. We definitely are not boring or glum as you can see by our postings. Keep coming back; Suzanne, I can sympathize with your daughter, I have arthritis that gets the best of me in humid weather, glad to here you are taking it easy; Andy, where are fella? Hope your doing better and that your leg's on the mend; Sanders, glad to hear your up on icq. Your experience with losing stuff kind of sounds ominous though. Think I better wait a while longer on installing it. I would probably would crash my computer attempting to make it work; Hello to the rest of my friends on-line here to numerous to mention.

Love to all, Linda P.


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 01:03:26

Comments

Hi again, Linda an alcoholic. Glen--the meeting site you posted for http://www.recovery.org/aa/#onlinemeetings is only for AOL server members. I tried it, no can get do, my server is Net Communications. Oh well, can't have them all. Sure do enjoy those live chat meetings. The other one I do attend. Have you accessed that site, if so, what is your nickname?


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 02:25:35

Comments

I am Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Thanks to all for your shares here. They tell me at my home group that when someone says something that I "don't want to hear", I'd better check it out. It may be just what I need to hear! I want what many of you have...sobriety. This program works to give each of us a daily reprieve from our disease of addiction. Dissimilarities in other areas of our lives are to be expected. And I believe accepted. " For when I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork." (Forgive me if I didn't quote that exactly right. My Big Book is in another room and I'm not taking time to go and look it up.) Each of us has a different style...a different "flavor". We can thank God for that as well as all the other things we put on our gratitude lists. None of us has to be exactly like the other EXCEPT in our desire to be sober and our willingness to help others to be sober. I am grateful indeed for this site where I can learn from each of you more about living a sober life. P.S. - My understanding has been that we may share more than once in a week at the Coffee Pot but are asked to limit ourselves to once in the Discussion or 12 & 12 Meetings. P.P.S. - A good slogan for me to remember is "Don't explain; don't complain." Much love to each of you. Sanders, we'll get straight on ICQ yet. Fayla, and others, my # is 12267337. Hope to hear from you.


Member: Cindy C
Location: Northern CA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 02:41:59

Comments

Hi, I'm Cindy an alcoholic.First time here and sure felt at home reading all the messages Tammy L - I noticed you're from Burbank I got sober there 5 yrs ago and am very grateful for the care and love I recieved from the rooms of AA there because it taught me what this fellowship is about. Gary M welcome if this is your first day sober and keep coming back the rooms are full of love and we will love you until you can love yourself. I will look forward to visiting here often and sharing my experience, strength and hope.


Member: Cindy C
Location: Northern CA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 02:42:28

Comments

Hi, I'm Cindy an alcoholic.First time here and sure felt at home reading all the messages Tammy L - I noticed you're from Burbank I got sober there 5 yrs ago and am very grateful for the care and love I recieved from the rooms of AA there because it taught me what this fellowship is about. Gary M welcome if this is your first day sober and keep coming back the rooms are full of love and we will love you until you can love yourself. I will look forward to visiting here often and sharing my experience, strength and hope.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 02:43:51

Comments

Linda P Traveler I have been looking for a chat line for recovery can you share with me what it is? Thanks Muchly


Member: Lecia R
Location: Ca
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 03:21:10

Comments

hi


Member: Sundance Kid: Richard
Location: West Coast
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 03:44:36

Comments

Sundance Kid, bustin a moove. He,he,he;)>>> I have a sleeping problem or something. I almost feel wired sometimes; I can't explain it, but it started with some stomach problems: I think.

AnYwAy, thanks Terry& Laurie you are too kind. Right on Charlotte I dug your post. Said it all really... Suzanne hope your girl is as good as can be. Dad gum you must be a spiritual power lifter. I hope you are holding up OK. And, you did see my post about your boy, right??

Linda p. sounds like you might have drank like me, duh!! He, he, he….. I still gulp my soda: sometimes. It's a reaction.

Way to go Rob S. you must face you fears to over come them. I like them strait on too. They can't sneak up on you that way. Hang on Bro.

I believe ya Chuck Le C. We all have earned our wings in AA.

Well, now this is going to make some of ya pretty happy. My girlfriend just surprised me with a Father's day present, and we are going out of state for a few days. You know hit some meetings??? I might even run into one of you: God willing. But atlas, with road trips comes risk. So, if something were to happen then realize that you H.P. must have wanted you to have a dose of me, but obviously he/she didn't want you to overdose on me. HA.ha,ha,ha,he,he,he,heeeeeeyaaa!!! Thought I was bein all mellow dramatic and serious didn't ya??? Grandiose maybe, eah?? He,he,he. Well, do not get your hopes up, cus if anything did happen I'd haunt your aabutts. But, in a good way. Especially you jrr.

L..l…..lla…..llaa…..lo...loveyaguys/girls.

Read ya later alligators!!!!!!


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 04:20:51

Comments

Hey all y'all my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Well I am really feeling left out with all this talk about ICQ, what was it that David B. said last week about infidelity on line?!! As long as you guys still come in here to yak with me occasionally I guess I will be ok. Suzanne sent me the ICQ info but my man, the "how long have you been on line?" chief read the fine print where it said it was free for a limited time and he is not even an alkie but thinks money hounds are after us all the time. I think that (correction, I KNOW THAT) is a swiss personality characteristic so I just live and let live. All y'all know how I am crazy about him and he is a very good provider. I just have to remember not to get too tied up in the things money can buy that it blinds me from the things money can't buy. In my drinking days I used to love to play "rich girl"( when I never was) that was one of my favorite games in my sick head that took me years (literally) to pay back. The worst and most hilarious memory I have is of me at the age of 24 or so flying my boyfriend at that time to NYC (hello Lisa) and telling the airlines we were on our honeymoon so they upgraded us to 1st class and gave us a bottle of champagne, we were already loaded by the time we got to the airport of course even to tell such a lie. It gets worse... then I took us to the Waldorf Astoria where I demanded the best suite available, 850 bucks a night (how sick, my husband would flip if he ever heard this one) then we continued to drink and order all the best from room service because we were too loaded to leave the room, THEN I called down and asked for a LIVE BAND, that's right. They said" well excuse me miss g.(maiden name) it is now 4:30 am and no bands are available but we can order one for you tomorrow" boy was I indignant. It is so humiliating for me to have these memories because my life now is so much better for the grace of God, but that is why I have to remember them, so that I don't go there again, one day at a time. Hope you guys still like me after such a gross disclosure. My HP has forgiven me and I have finally forgiven myself (and finally repaid the debt, ouch). Fayla how is Jonnie doing these days? Linda I loved hearing that you took your grandchildren to Titanic, I took my neice to see it (in German of course, yuk still wonder what that cute boys voice still sounds like) she is 12 and had never been to a movie before, she lives up in the alps in a village of 320 people where all are somehow related to us (me through marriage of course) and there is no theatre there. She was in awe and so was I through her eyes. We bawled and held hands and bawled again. I bought her the tape and she now knows all the words to all the songs, just doesn't know what they mean. Hehe. It is precious to hear her sing. Her name is AnnaLea and I love her. Pat Z. sorry to hear you hit your head, hope you are feeling better, I sure know what it is like to feel dazed these days. Suzanne you sweet lady you are in my prayers every day. STEVE B. my brother in the fellowship, thank you so much for the information you sent me about the medication I am now taking. My husband read it and said, wow he really took the time and effort to investigate these for you!' you know he is a biologist, but even the doctors did not give us as much and as good information as you gave us, we both thank you from the bottom of our hearts. He never ceases to be amazed with my coffee pot friends, neither do I for that matter. I wanted also to welcome Sophie from the land down under, gary m., Chuck LeC., Terry and Laurie, and everyone else. I for one get loads of ES&H here. Tammy I was finally able to get your emails to you yesterday, stupid me did not up the _ after your 1st name, sorry! Doris thank you for sharing. You are right we all need our anger validated. Ruby, Doris is the eloquent oneof this group, not me. Jrr glad to see you back my friend. Hey we are going to see Joe Cocker and Bob Dylan weekend after next at an open air fest here. Isn't Cocker a brother in the fellowship? I think I heard that somewhere. Sorry for the long post. Love to Aall, Amy GC


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 04:25:23

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) just stopped in to hug my family before I get off to bed tonight/this AM. been a busy week and I'm exhausted. but I just had to stop by. I'll be posting before Wed for after that i cant get in to post or read posts. If you're new here, welcome, please pull up a cyber chair and join this wonderful group of people around this here coffee pot, If you've posted in here before, well you all know how I feel about you. Life line material. We finally had a warm day in the Pacific Northwest, awesomely beautiful, what a gift! Anyway, gonna go hit the sheets, Dear God please bless all who venture here. Love and hugs to all, bon


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 04:40:51

Comments

dang, forgot what I came in here for in the first place, It was to wish all the fathers and single moms a happy fathers day. got CRS bad - cant remember sh--, plus I'm sure the moon is in a bad phase, and the planets are probably all lined up wrong, I'm either PMSing or Menopausing, cause I'm moving from room to room for the past week saying, why did I come in here? There must be one set of footprints this week cause i havent gotten anything done and alot has been accomplished, funny how that happens. nite again family (((HUGS))) bon


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 07:37:13

Comments

Linda, not quite sure why you can't access

http://www.recovery.org/aa/#onlinemeetings

try

http://www.recovery.org/aa/

then select online meetings. It's not for AOL only, it's just another page. (Surely you didn't have a typo ?)

DebraD, go back and read the posts for chat line, or use these URL's to find

http://www.recovery.org/aa/meetings/winners-circle.htm


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 09:03:43

Comments

David, all I've ever said about lengthy posts was to remember that some, like Bonnie on webtv, cannot share after the page gets too long, and I didn't think that everyone knew that. Just like in a real meeting, extended sharing prevents others from being able to.


Member: Amy G.
Location: NC
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 10:03:42

Comments

Hi all, I just wanted to let everyone know about a new recovery resource, Recovery Connection. It is a beautiful site, with lots of great resources, help and information.

http://www.recoveryconnection.com


Member: Jim D.
Location: Canada
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 10:21:54

Comments

Jim, an alcoholic and still sober--not by much, but it will do.

Doris--read your post about how when things happen "one more time" you get angry. Well, me too, but I haven't figured out what to do about it yet. I don't think killing 'em solves the problem, and I doubt that therapy accomplishes much.

I figure about the best response is education of all the potential victims--and we'll worry about what to do with the sicko's later.

By the by--got me a sponsor now. Gerry B. I think the B stands for "Boy can he pack away a lot of coffee." Had a couple of long talks over the past few days. He's 19 years sober, and younger than me by a few years. Wise in the ways of sobriety, and a good amateur jazz pianist. Says he might have made it as a pro but booze and drugs got to him before he could find out.

We're going to get along just fine. ODAAT.


Member: Lisa M.
Location: NYC
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 10:50:20

Comments

Hello to all!. Lisa M., alcoholic and addict. I just wanted to say that this room is amazing. Since I found it last week, it has not ceased to amaze and uplift me when I read through all the postings.

((Charlotte B.))! Thank you so much for the flowers...they truly made me smile :-)

((Mikki)) From one who also couldn't feel comfortable about finding a room, try to go to another town or a different area. I did and believe me, it makes a real difference. Also keep in mind that there is total anonymity in the rooms and those that go to the rooms probably feel the same way you do. I would hazzard a guess that if you did go to a room in your town, no one would mention you'd been there to non AA members.

((Sophie)) Welcome. It is very hard for me to share also and I almost do it grudgingly but the unconditional love and support I receive is far worth the uncomfortability. It's very difficult for me to open up as well but it really does make me feel better when I do.

My weekend was a combination of amazing and heartbreaking. I discovered a wonderful meeting in Brooklyn with some great folks Saturday morning and had a very healthy discussion with my boyfriend that left me feeling, for once, positive after the conversation had ended. Wow, that doesn't happen all too often. I just kept turning it over to my HP because I can't keep trying to make everything go the way I want. Went on a roadtrip and bunked out with friends Saturday night. Had great conversations and lots of laughs and some much needed emotional bonding then went rockclimbing on Sunday. What an amazing experience!! I felt like my HP was with me every step of the way and was climbing with me. And when we finally got to the top, filthy and grungy and exhausted from pulling our bodies up sheer rock faces, what a beautiful view our eyes and senses were treated to. I felt like I could see the whole state of NY!

I did get a little down on myself yesterday. Had told myself of Saturday that I was going to do "90 in 90." Nonetheless, last night I was too tired after my weekend excursion to get to an 8:30 meeting that I had been expressly invited to. Am trying to realize that I am not perfect and will just keep on attempting to get to a meeting every day. I feel like it's important.

Thank you all for letting me share. I love you guys already. Anyone wanting to email me can at ldm2000@yahoo.com. God bless.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 11:24:39

Comments

Morning, Suzanne, alcoholic. - Cindy welcome to "Staying Cyber" (thanks to the techs for their work). . Amy, tell your husband I have had ICQ "free" since last November, I have never recieved notices that they are going to charge for it (if they start charging for it I will simply have to give it up) - to ALL ICQ users my number is 7625247 I would be very happy to hear from you! Thanx Glen for the reminder on extended sharing preventing others from being able to post. Bonnie, it's always a pleasure to read your comments. Yes Richard, I did read your comments, thanx. Hi to everyone else, you are in my thoughts and prayers.

Luv Suzanne


Member: Sundance
Location: West Coast
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 11:42:52

Comments

Sandance leaving the building ;)

Well, hope you all have a good week. Amy don't feel left out. You know how some insecure people need to be in a clique to feel equal.

I had to get one more read in before I left, so I don't have as much make up when I get back. I hate make up work. he,he,he.

Well, hope this site doesn't fall apart while I'm gone. I know that without me it will be tough!! But, be strong, it's only a few days. Com'on keep that upper lip stiff kids.

Read ya later.

PS. Glenn I know how hard it is to get people to only talk for 5 min. in a live meeting. Gees! the people with over 15 years usually talk the longest. I try and learn something new when they do that, but like ya said everyone does not get to share. But, I never have heard a fellow "old timer" back anyone up about the subject. Thanks!! And, I did not know!!!


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 11:49:46

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - Richard, do you have a beeper that goes off when you back up that fast? I'm sure you are a lovely man, and sounds like you have lots of references too. It's a wonderful thing that you are so accepting of the diversity in the world. Desegregation happens best in it's own time, not by forcing the issue. I survived the Denver Public school desegregation of the 70's, and saw first hand the kind of damage occurrs when administration tries to predict peace and harmony. Maya Angelou said," The more people are different, the more they are the same." People have a tendency to gravitate where they are comfortable, and thank God we have the freedom to choose today where comfort is. It is not the same for everyone, and each person has a different experience that shapes the way he or she responds to each circumstance. The beauty of AA is all those options are in place so individuals can find their groove. Our place should never be to limit these options, but to expand them. It doesn't separate AA members or exclude them from the group whose message is to help the alcoholic who still suffers. I do not advocate males or females chosing same sex groups, only that they have the freedom to chose what works best for them and that these options remain in tact. If you have interpreted my opinion any differently in the past, I hope to clear it up now. We need never agree on any topic, but I don't want a missunderstanding of words to create any undue friction between us. Your resume' might read "Hornets nest stirrer" but mine reads "bridge burner" and I don't intend to burn this bridge. Peace Sir Richard and to all who come here.


Member: Jack C.
Location: Flagstaff, AZ
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 12:02:27

Comments

Hi folks, Jack C., alcoholic here. Haven't posted in quite a while, but do read a lot of your ESH. Thanks for it all. Have a friend seeking info on carrying the message to "Remote Locations" and wonder if anyone has a website, phone number, etc. that she could gather info from. Would really appreciate an E-Mail if any of you wonderful sober souls know of anything to help. E-Mail address is punjack@mailcity.com Thanks in advance. Have a super 24. Peace.


Member: Sundance
Location:
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 12:14:04

Comments

Hey, I can burn bridges too!!!! I know I could do the job if I'm given a chance. He,he,he. Hey girl I hope I didn't say anything that stung ya ;) Love ya girl ( like a sister of corse;)

Now, my G>F said turn that D*** thing off and lets go A*******!! She saying loves me when she talks dirty like that to me. ;) Bye! Bye!


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 13:09:50

Comments

Hey AAll, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Glen, thanks for the reminder of why long posts are not good in the long run, I swear I had totally forgotten that about webtv, so I will keep it shorter and not comment as long unless I am really freaking out from isolation, you are a much appreciated part of my sobriety as is everyone else in this room. Lisa glad you are back with us this week, I have never tried rock climbing but it is a big sport over here. I have this NERVE problem and being afraid of heights and enclosed places puts me over the edge, literally. Funny, I don't have a problem with flying. I guess only when it is my legs or body I have to depend on that I freak out. I also tried to make 90 in 90 when I was first in the program but missed a few, don't be too hard on yourself, sounds like you are really making the effort and that is great. AMY G. from NC...is it possible? I was Amy G. before I became a swiss miss (or mrs.I should say). Can I ask what town you are from? I am from Asheville, Chapel Hill and Greensboro in the formative years. Glad to read ya! Love to everyone, Amy GC


Member: sick of you
Location:
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 13:28:47

Comments

You got the last word Richard so now GO....


Member: Steve D
Location: NJ
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 14:09:52

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm Steve a grateful alcoholic.

After reading all the posts from the weekend, I have one question: What's ICQ?

My weekend consisted of watching X Files (The Movie) which was very helpful in explaining the deatils but as a movie was a bit disappointing; cross country biking with my son, and two parties, one on Sat and one on Sun. I employed some tried and true techniques to stay sober (stay active, I played soccer with the kids at both parties) and leave early if you don't feel comfortable. I brought my dog to a party on Sun (the one that last week I said was so smart) and as we were getting ready to leave, we heard someone in the kitchen say that he nipped a little boy. The boy did have some superficial scars but no one saw the actual event. My dog is very good with kids unless he's provoked. The boy is about 2-3 years old, and his parents were not watching him. I feel sorry for the boy. His father however went ballistic saying the dog viciously attacked him, started screaming at his wife as to why she wasn't watching him...We cleaned the abrasions up, apologized sincerely and they left. This guy is very (very) wealthy and I'm a little concerned as to his motives. I feel sorry for the boy since it did scare him. I really believe that he either pulled his tail or did something else to the dog. This boy, by the way, is called "Crash" because he got into the family car and put the engine into reverse, went down the driveway and hit a tree a few days earlier. In any event, I don't need this.

Tammy, you said it made you feel good that your daughter spoke of your AA fellowship. One of my proudest moments came when my son, 9 at the time, presented a poster to me on my 3 year sobriety anniversary, saying " 3 years no drinking. Best Dad in the world".

Mark L, how're things. Read your post over the weekend. How did everything go?

Chuck Le S, thank you.

Lecia R, is that a slavic origin name?

Amy, I'm glad you received the email and that the info was useful. I enjoyed reading your post on your trip to NYC. Sounds like a story right out of the AA literature where Bill W says they chartered a plane to "complete a jag". The things we had to do to earn our right to be here.

Lisa, glad to hear you had a good weekend. My niece in SF is into rock climbing and she loves it as much as I worry about her scaling those slippery slopes because "they're there".

Regards to everyone else here in the CP. Nice to check in and download.

Thanks for letting me share. Steve


Member: Dennis P.S.P.
Location: Post Oak Club, Houston, TX
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 15:26:24

Comments

Whoever signed "sick of you." this is for YOU!

Get A Sponsor! This is SUPPOSED to be about PRINCIPLES BEFORE PERSONALITIES! I'm not too fond of what I read from your "Target" either but he has a right to express himself just like you do. Are you maybe just a little TOO WELL for the likes of him? Can't somebody else be sick once in a while?

Oh, I forgot. We come to A.A. because we are all WELL like you. G-O-D F-O-R-B-I-D a sick alcoholic should show up and spoil your chance to frolic in a sea of Rightousness with your inner dolphin!

Do you like people lashing out at you?! Why this deep rooted need to hurt someone?! Ever considering READING the Big Book and praying for the man you targeted?! Try Page 552! People like YOU drive other people away from this program... not your Target.

May God help me if I ever get as well as you are... crouched in your Anonymity while engaging in character assasinations. You know the ONLY difference between a wet alcoholic and a dry drunk is the drink... maybe you haven't had your last one yet.

As to the rest of the group... I'm sorry. I just don't have to accept unacceptable behavior today... from anyone. It just lit my fuse to see someone sniped at under cowardice. If seen this kind of behavior in meetings before... and it always lights my fuse. Fortunately, in the 11 years I've been here, I have also noticed that these people either get drunk, blow their brains out, change their address to a cell block. After an additional butt-kicking, IF they survive, they might come back.

This program is LIFE & DEATH. Nobody has the right to ride the White Horse of Superiority here! All drunks look and smell the same after a few months in the gutter.

Think about it.


Member: Lori G.
Location: Indiana
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 15:27:19

Comments

Hi guys, thanks for the input last week. I'm going to try to make friends here and pay more attention to you all than to myself. *smile*

Lisa A. And Debra D. I am a stay at home mom too 3 kids 10, 7, 5. Will be nice to get to know you guys.llgrossman@mailexcite.com

Fayla, I have a wonderful 8 yr old dog Misty who is and forever will be my best friend, you know what dog spelled backward is don't you? GOD, I believe my HP sends me comfort and unconditional love thru her.

Miki, You are in my prayers, I have had a previous experience happen with my children when they were 2 and 4!, it was a brother in law. I have made a type of peace with it, through a lot of prayer, would like to e-mail you, you may write to me at the e-mail address abouve if you like.

Linda P. I have a Calico cat named Dottie expecting kittens around the 4th of July, I'll keep you in mind? .

Well thanks for letting me share, and for all who post here keep coming back, I will

Lori


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 16:13:33

Comments

Steve and anybody else w/ questions about ICQ can go to:

http://www.icq.com/

LindaP I think has the right idea re: ICQ.(which was to wait and see how we liked it, if you missed it)


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 16:16:15

Comments

Good afternoon, all! I am Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic & addice. I also was unaware of webtv limits. Will keep in mind 'cause Bonnie & others who use it are all important to this group. Steve D--ICQ is a messaging system & more. Anyone can page me at http:wwp.mirabilis.com/12267337 ! Dennis, thank u! An old-timer in our group often said that if we didn't stick together (unity), John Barley Corn would take us down one by one. I've seen it. Too, I must remember to not miss the message 'cause I don't like the messenger or the way the message is presented. I thank you ALL for being here for me. You teach me every day about living sober. mabaker_97@yahoo.com


Member: Libby W.
Location: Glenside PA
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 17:07:57

Comments

Hi Everyone! Libby Alcoholic-- Glad to see things are on tareget here at the coffee pot! I have not had many opportunities to read as my concentration is at an all time LOW.(the treatment does that)I wanted to stop bye and let you all know I have been thinking and praying for you all while I have had many quite hours to do so.Great news came-- J-Man is clear or the virus but remains on treatment until April. So, to all of you praying for us-- IT' WORKING!!! Bon,Fayla Mary thanks for the e-mail-- I may not read all of it but J-man saves it and I read it at my leisure. Thanks again.

I have been getting many liabilities and assets reviled to me thru this process of illness. I didn't think change would come just sitting here at home going to Drs and 2 meetings a week!!!! Boy oh boy is my Higher Power working over time.!!

Take care of one another and when I am better I'll be back.

Love and Peace--Libby


Member: DONALD M
Location: PASADENA . CALIF
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 17:16:10

Comments

/DONALDALCOHOLIC. SOMETIMES PEOPLE SAY WHAT I AM THINKING. "SICK OF YOU " SAID WHAT IS WAS THINKING. I ON THE OTHER HAND WAS THINKING OF RICHARD SITTING AT HIS COMPUTER WITH HIS GIRLFREIND TUGGING AT HIM "!@#@%%%^^&%^# CAN WE PLEASE GO NOW!!!!!" I DON'T DISAGREE WITH DENNIS EITHER "S.O.Y." IS A COWARD TO NOT ID. OH WELL, STUFF LIKE THIS GETS ME TO THINK ABOUT WHAT I BELIEVE IN TODAY AS OPPOSED TO WHAT I DIDN'T HAVE A CLUE ABOUT WHEN I WAS STILL DRINKING. THERE ARE OTHER AA WEB POLICE BESIDES GLEN (THANK YOU ) WE ALL HAVE A MESSAGE. THE GSO GUIDELINES GIVE SUGGESTIONS FOR ALANO CLUBS ( QUESTION FROM AWHILE AGO), TREATMENT CENTERS, ETC. THE ELEVENTH TRADITION GIVES GUIDELINES BASED ON EXPERIENCE. AMY G (SWISS MRS) ASKED ABOUT A CELEBRITY COMING TO TOWN AND HIS STATUS IN RECOVERY. I AM CURIOUS BUT IT IS NONE OF MY BUSINESS AND IT WOULD BREAK HIS ANONOMITY IF HE NEEDS IT (I DON'T KNOW IF HE DOES).SO PERHAPS THE ADDENDUM BEHIND PRESS , RADIO AND FILMS NOW ALSO INCLUDES TV AND MAYBE THE INTERNET? NO OFFENSE INTENDED AMY.. ALL THIS STUFF...I DO CONSIDER THE PROGRAM AS LIFE OR DEATH...I CHOOSE LIFE..AND ALONG THE WAY I WILL TRY NOT TO TAKE MYSELF TOO SERIOUSLY JUST THE PROGRAM... LOVE TO ALL...DONALD


Member: Sanders W
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 17:33:09

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my nam,e is Sanders. It is nearly time for me to get ready for my F2F meeting tonight but wanted to check in before I left. I am glad that Glen and Charlotte answered the question about ICQ as I was going to say I have it but still don't know what it is. I like it but have a lots of learning to do before I get comfortable with it.------ Went to the post office this morning and got a package from Doris in Oregon and I can tell you Stepper is Cute and her mother is beautful. I have already sent them, after I looked at it, down to my daughter in central Fl. to see. She is the real horse lover in my family and speaks the same language as Doris.------ Tobie, my dog , also got a nice surprise at the PO. I belong to a Consumer mail panel where they send you things to try from time to time and want your comments and today they sent her two different packages of treats to try for six days. She thinks she died and went to heaven. I don't know if she will like the second bag or not but she surely likes the first one.--------= Just took my mother down to get a new bridge in her mouth and I told the dentist that if this helps her with her eating, we are all in trouble. I am very happy to say that she really does like to eat and of course this is good.----- Time to get ready for my meeting and eat something first. Love to all in the fellowship and the program. Sanders


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 17:51:02

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

I hate to skip over posts just so I can post myself but I have to answer you Glen. I wasn't talking about you as a space watchdog. I don't think you would be comfortable in a two inch wide spiked leather collar. Doris had just mentioned space watchdogs and off went my mind. You wouldn't create permanenly fatal errors in anybodys E-mail address anyway.

That was a fun post. Not fun at anybody elses expense, just me sharing a portion of the twisty little nooks and crannies between my ears.

But come to think of it I do get a bit tweeked when someone shares about anything for 25 minutes in a 60 minute F2F meeting. So watch out All ya'all, I'll strap on my 2 inch wide spiked leather collar, go out and buy another 17 inch monitor and I will become the space watchdog from hell. I just don't know what I'll do if I catch someone being verbose. Probably pray for them and keep my mouth shut.

Terry. Different Jim. My Jim's last initial was M. Got another friend in Long Beach named Pete T. (old skinny Navy fart) closing in on thirty years. He always jokingly said that if you could get sober in Long Beach, you could get sober anywhere. Great guy, always looked at me funny, kept on telling me to keep coming back.

Now I've got to go back and read all the posts I skipped.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 18:14:12

Comments

I think God has a lot to handle tonight.

Goodnight and goodluck


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Oregon
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 18:50:29

Comments

Good evening, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. Glenn, if I hurt your feelings I am SORRY. I wasn't being critical of him or anyone else, I was just apologizing beforehand for the fact that I WAS GOING TO have a long post. I remember one time when I had a particularly long post and Glenn came on right after me and said that the Gettysburg address only took so long and made referance to another speech taking a certain amount of time. (I thought he was making fun of me). Now I know that ALL Glenn was doing was pointing out that I had used up a LOT of space. That's O.K. He was probably right. I WAS taking him and myself way to o o o o seriously. To tell you the truth Glenn used to rub me the wrong way. Now I like him. I don't know him very well but I think I DO like him. He has helped me along the way. He is what he is and I know I can count on him to be "just what he is". He is, to me, an honost man who never fails to tell the truth as per the way he sees it. I think he would never hurt anyone and he cares about all of us and the ones still 'out there'. There are others in here who 'rub me the wrong way'. SO WHAT ! ! We are all individals and I try to always respect that. I just want to say that I think it would be nice if we could cut each other a little slack and try to practice a little tolerance concerning each others personalities and postings. Actually I try to learn from my friend Sanders. When I don't have anything 'nice' to say, I just try to keep my mouth shut.I try anyway, Love Doris


Member: Delores C.
Location: Las Vegas, Nv.
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 21:46:39

Comments

Hello all, Delores-Alcoholic here,,,just starting to fix dinner but thot I'd say hi and wish you all well. Will check in again after dinner - - Luv, DC


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 22:18:59

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

OK Doris, I won't pick on Glen anymore.

Rule 62 does make for a much more contented sobriety, however it relieves us of the option to call another member out.

REMEMBER, DON'T KILL THE MESSENGER!!

Amy, thanks for the E-mail. Its amazing the amount of information we get from our fellows when we open up and allow everyone in, there are lots of messengers just waiting to help.

Steve, the info you gave Amy was also a good reminder to me, I've had a seizure condition for a lot of years and the percentages you quoted let me know again that above all else I need to be a "walking 10th step" as far as that condition is concerned. Its kind of scary when you realize that 50% of seizure events are difficult to pinpoint a reason for. Thats the reason for the "walking 10th", just to keep track of how I really feel. I can't recall having one when I really felt good.

Gotta find a way to keep you active all week Bonnie. I enjoy it when you post.

I'm terribly afraid that ICQ, Microsoft Outlook, and a couple of my specialty programs might just duke it out and make my computer start smoking again.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member:    Chuck Le C .
Location:    Northern Calif.
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 22:49:43

Comments

wow ie I saw that resent a few post back and I agree with both stdes of the controversy in plain sight !! They are keeping me sober. I used to be all kinds of ways , the ways kept me working MY program and use that as the next step up in my sobriety. This program is for people to learn a new way of living, If they get it to easy sometimes one may have to do some more experimenting with whatever. Bonnie C. Seattle I am waiting to hear from you.Chuck


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 22 Jun 1998
Time: 23:55:34

Comments

hi all y'all (nod to sanders), well, there is no serenity in the wheat fields tonight (richards gone.. just teasing)..no, they cut the wheat all around my home today...guess i'll have to have serenity in the wheat stubble..it just doesn't sound the same... think of me when you eat something with flour in it and remember that you are eating a little piece of my serenity. lol =)

i have had icq for some time and have little to no trouble with it except for my own repairible errors...it is great means of communicaition. there are optional safe guards that you can place... at no cost.. and like suzanne if it does start to cost then i would have to drop it... my procrastinator is stuck and i am working to unstick it... so if you have written me , i will get back to you , i promise!!!!...and if you want to write me my address is MWMOSTEST@aol.com i will get to you as soon as i can....

my garden is really doing great... say does any body know what to do with lots and lots of zucchini? LOL.. be glad this is the internet or i'd be sending some home with each and everyone of you......here is a concious contact type thought.. isn't it amazing how with a little water and dirt, a seed can grow in to so much? a lighter thought.... a mighty oak tree is just a nut that held it's ground...

hugs, mary w...... tfts


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 00:17:26

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - I know everyone has witnessed me "pulling Richards chain" but I am not the one who wrote the message "sick of you" I don't blame the person who wrote it either, the tension has been thick in here lately and none of us are perfect. It's amazing that they let the monkeys run the zoo and this is all the more problems we create. The government can beat us any day of the week for controversy and scandal. Sorry if anyone was offended by the squabbles. I know everyone cares deeply for sobriety, our own and others, and as much as we have all gone through in recovery, we are strong enough to stand a little mud slinging. Happy days to all, and to the newcomers, we are not crazy, we just have a lot of opinions now that we are participating in life again. Keep coming back!


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 00:23:22

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. ((Glen)), thanks for posting those addresses again. The address I use is: http://www.recovery.org/aa/meetings/winners-circle.htm As for the other address, I can not imagine what happened there. But I am satisfied with this one I listed. Your such a sweetheart Glenn; Debra D, hope to see you there sometime. I post there as the Traveler on Wednesday's at 6:30 p.m, Pacific Daylight Savings time. It is a topic meeting; Lisa, loved your story about rock climbing. I personally like a less strenuous activity, like hiking. I love nature also; Jim, glad you now have a sponsor. That will help out tremendously; Amy, I was too financially insecure to live beyond my means when I was drinking. Cute story LOL; Dennis, I have not seen your posts here before. I read the same one you did, and although I thought it in poor taste, I got an entirely different feel for that share. Someone just teasing Richard. Not knowing Richard and some of us who post here, you may have gotten the wrong impression of the message that was truly conveyed. Either that, or I am a dunce. LOL. I like to think the best of people, I am more comfortable that way. Is that Denial?; Welcome to Gary, Cindy and Lecia. Looking forward to your posts; Pat Z, how are you doing tonight? Has the dust settled around there with your family?; Lori, I love cats, but unfortunately they do not live long when I get them. Feline Lukemia has claimed most of mine, or cars driving by using them for target practice. I probably will never own another one, thanks for thinking of me though; Libby, great to see your posting, and that J-man is doing better. My love and prayers to you both.

Hello to everyone else to numerous to mention, but am thinking of fondly. Those who are peeping in, come say hello. We would like to get to know you.

Love to all Linda P


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 00:55:16

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders------ I know what to do with zucchini mary w. You have boiled zucchini, Have baked zucchi, Have fried zucchini, Have broiled zucchini, Have zucchini salad, Have zucchini dip. What you have left, you put in the freezer and when you can stomach it again you take some out and have fried zucchini, Have boiled zucchini and right on down the line. When you really get sick of it then you won,t plant so much next year. Just trying to have alittle humor Mary as I don,t even like it but one way and that is sliced, breaded and fried so it does NOT taste like squash. I really do like it this way but no other. My mother used to make a squash casserole and make me eat it as a child and I would gag on it and I never got over it till this day. Sorry about your wheat fields as you have spoken of them many times anbd I could just picture them in my mind. I hope it does not upset your sorenity too much as you sound like a vry serene person to me. Love to all Y'all (plural) Sanders


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 01:08:44

Comments

Hi everyone, it's us Terry and Laurie. David B. sorry about the wrong sponsor, I think you'd like my Jim though. Sounds to us the natives are restless tonight, (is there a full moon?) We've enjoyed participating with all of you over the weekend if you don't here from us don't get worried, I'm in school all week. Laurie's a bit shy. Ha Ha! Thanks for letting us share. Good-night. Terry & Laurie


Member: Tom M
Location: SF Bay area
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 01:43:21

Comments

Hi and Huggs all round. Tom, Alcoholic. Read thru the posts...seems Mondays are pretty busy in here! Welcome Cindy, Lisa M, Rob S, Sophie and Lecia. Gary M: hang in there! This is a nice group of folks... Sophie: I got called on out of the blue a week or so back, and from someone as stage fright as I am, it was'nt so awful: felt good afterwards, tho I'm not sure how much sense I made. hehehe. Just one of those things you gotta stick your nose into and plow forward: no one will come down on ya. Easier to do it in a smaller meeting (unlike mine), tho. I thought about begging off a few times, but my conscience gets the better of me. Anyway, the first one breaks the ice... I am also on Icq: been playing with it alot lately, but used it before only to chat with a buddy down in Brisbane. anyone wants to chat, I'm Flingcat #14338190. Gotta put this technology to use! I was bad this weekend: no F2f, but got one in at noon today and will try to get 5-6 in this week as penance. Been just loading myself up with things to fix and errands to run. gotta slow it down and get back on track. still trying to hunt down a sponsor: see if I can corner this guy tomorrow and chat. wish me luck! I'm off to beddies. Tucker the Sheltie says HI :) Peace all and thanx for listening. Tommy


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 03:08:09

Comments

This is Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Welcome to those newer than I to this site! Glad you're here!

Mary W - I have friends who make zucchini bread. Wonderfully moist and I, though I like squash, Sanders, don't get a "squash" taste. I'll track down the recipe, if you'd like. Amy, I'm keeping your husband's explanation of "glistening" in mind! LOL Will be careful!! Andy T, are you still fishing? Haven't seen a post from you in a couple of days. I hope everyone will "keep coming back" here to share their ES&H. You are each uniquely special to me.


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 04:23:17

Comments

Hey Aall y'all, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Well mary my serenity was shaken here in chocolate land... yesterday I went out to walk to the grocery store to get some fresh air and the stench of a swiss summer filled my nose, the farmers here spray manure galore before they think it is going to rain to make the grass grow to feed the cows to make the cheese. It was so humid and that stench just sat in the air. It did finally rain overnite so today it is not so bad, thank God. As to what to do with zucchini, I also have that problem (but later in the summer, my plants are only about 6 ¨and have not yet flowered) and I made pickles and ratatouille. The rat. you can freeze and one cans the pickles. Sanders I made sweet and sour pic's which I bet you like being a southern gentleman and all, you would not even know they are made from zucchini unless I told you! For the record sliced and fried is also my fav. But you have to stand over the hot stove a long time...Steve it sounds to me like Crash pulled the dogs tail, my cat also is good with children until they provoke him, in any case the dad sounds like a jerk to yell at his wife, she can't watch the child 24 hrs. A day. I know I sure had to be bitten by the dog to learn a lesson or two in my lifetime. Bravo for not pickin up the liquid poison! Lori hello I am not a mom but I do stay at home, here we call it hausfrau, I will write you today! Donald thanks for the wake up call to me about celebrities and their anonymity, so true. Well I am going to try and put away this mound of clean clothes that has been glaring at me all week, funny how I can rationalize that my serenity is more important and come online to chat instead...Love to all Amy GC


Member: Bonnie C
Location: Seattle
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 06:57:24

Comments

Hi extended family, bonnie/alcoholic here, (((ROOM-HUG))) God knows I love u guys/girls, there is something very special and blessed about this room of drunks, feels like my first home group in CA, and the special one i found up here in WA and now a bunch of sober net junkies have become a part of my heart - something very spiritual and wonderful here - now ((Libby)), enuf is enuf, got my cheerleading outfit on and i've jumped up here on the coffee table and I'm leading the cheer to get you back in here, come on room, uh oh, the 3yr old grandson is asking his mom, why nana looks so funny and why is she yelling in the middle of the night, Who is his mom calling? Oh well, better handle this a different way, i know there is power in prayer and I know the hearts in here, maybe if we all spend a couple extra minutes tonight concentrating on our friend Lib we can get her back in quicker, ((J-man)) my heart is happy 4u, anyone else who would like us to pray for them, never be afraid to ask, I for one would be honored. do for alot that hurt in here, first a heartfelt welcome to ((billw)) ((debra d)) ((sophie)) ((kim d)) ((gary m)) ((bob s)) ((cindy c)) ((lori g)) ((lecia)) ((lisa m)) ((terry)) & ((laurie)) ((jack c)) will be sending u sites. If you're new let us love u till u can love yourselves ((fayla&champ)) faylas heart ((doris)) &((delores)) we're double blessed by your es&h ((david)) &((kerry)) so comforting to hear familiar sobriety, no wonder I'm feeling at home. ((glen)) thanks for riding to my aid like a cowboy brother, love u ((andy)) for u my friend, I'd rethink this whole cowboy thing LMAO, where the hell are u, dear God, please protect andy from the livestock ((patz)) accidents have helped me with resentments, CRS *s*, hang tough, my friend ((linda p)) I'm lookin for a chat room we can all use, cant get into icq, we'll find one! ((michelle)) loved the pic, now a face goes with the post, awesome ((amy gc) my swiss sis, when u comin home girl? ((jane)) always a joy ((sanders &tobie)) gittey up little dougie or is that doggie?? hmm always an inspiration to read you ((lisa a)) stay at home moms have the most important job, wish I could have been ((charlotte)) ive been reading 449 continuously for all these yrs, it do work ((richard)) please call your girlfriend over to the monitor *RUN, SAVE YOURSELF* just kidding, u know I love ya, a little cage rattling tee hee ((miki)) glad you're with us ((rubyo)) calgon take me away, oh yeah, will ans e soon ((tammy)) our kids only respect us when we are respectable and walk in dignity, something must be workin ((jrr)) so nice to see your smilin post, forget it, behavin is not something I'm good at ((suzanne)) prayin for u and yours, love ya girl ((chuck leC)) always inspirational, 33yrs well spent, will ans soon ((mary w)) now I cant even eat a bagle without thinking about you and that dam wheat field and then I start to itch, YOU know what I mean ((donald m)) thank u so much for your post last week, you're appreciated! it was the one right after I posted last.((amyc)) thanks so much for the site ((jimd)) so happy to c u here and about your new sponsor, hi5 ((steve)) if it were me, I'd pray and God Box Crash and his irresponsible parents, hang in there my new friend ((dennispsp)) love your spirit ((tom&tucker)) I cheat I take notes when I speak - Hey, wheres my brothers that are away from home defending my freedom to be here? ((mike)) ((jason)) ((mark)) and I had a sis in there somewhere too, love ya, to those I forgot to mention, please forgive, not intentional. Dear God please bless all who venture here, Love and hugs, bon -- bonzoc@webtv.net


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 08:01:29

Comments

Mark Twain said once that it was pointless to argue with a pig. It doesn't do any good and it just annoys the hell out of the pig. That sentiment seems real appropriate regarding all the bickering, notwithstanding our socalled purpose of carrying the message. Wonder what our message is, anyway?


Member: fayla     g
Location: galena   ks
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 08:22:47

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic ,hi everyone,hi and welcome home lecia p.Amy ,johnnie,s doing ok so far as i know will see him a week from wed,i take him to his court , love ya amy ,hi libby ,love ya.lori g ,that was cute ,love ya.hugs to you bonnie .THANK you all for makeing my days brighter. I learn alot from you all everyday ,i cry with you ,i laugh with you ,i feel your pain, thats how God wants it ,for us to help each other ,to give each other strength ,to make it threw another day , thank you all for being there , love and hugs fayla g


Member: Linda
Location: the farm
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 09:43:46

Comments

Linda here....I am Andy T.s close friend and usually do all his typing for the *coffee pot* Altho I have debated heavily about rather or not to post; after seeing the many inquires as to where is Andy T? I thought I should; and possibly get the feedback I need to handle the situation. I am not an alcholic and am totally uneducated in regards to what I should do or should not do. I do care greatly for Andy T. and would not wish to make matters worse...... Andy has disappeared on a binge and has not been heard from since about 10:30a.m. Sunday morning. He had been drinking steady for the last week or so....becoming violent at times.When he left Sunday it was supposedly to go to church with two friends. I had given him money to make some purchases for me...since my car had a flat tire. Since he has been gone...I have discovered several empty booze bottles that was hidden. When Andy came to texas with me it was to start fresh. More or less his last chance to clean up his life and make something of himself. He has friends here beside myself that have tried to be very supportive. Apparently it wasn't enough or he wasn't ready enough. I expect he will show up in another day or two. Probrally with several stories....none of which will be the truth. His employers here on the farm are totally fed up with him and basically want him gone. I could probrally talk them into anther chance....if that would be the proper thing to do? Having problems receiving email....please respond thru *coffee pot* Appreciate greatly any/all responses....am just sick with worry... Thanking you in advance.....Linda


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 09:52:40

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

Mornin' all.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 10:21:07

Comments

I'm David. Linda, I wish I had a "pat" answer for you about how to deal with him. You will undoubtably receive some "pat" answers following your request. The sad truth is that Andy isn't gonna stop until he's ready to stop. While I am way concerned for him, I am doubly concerned for you. The support you NEED can be found AT alanon. If he has become violent stay the hell away from him, If he does have a broken leg that shouldn't be too hard to accomplish. Sometimes being abandoned by our supporters is the only way we can step off the merry-go-round of denial or boozing.

I hope Andy doesn't have to hurt any more than is necessary. I will be praying for both of you AND I hope you will seek local support for your situation. Drunks have a special ability to bounce back, if the current drunk isn't going to be the fatal one. The people around us are frequently hurt more than we are by our escapades. This is not a rataionalization for Andy's thing. It is a "call to arms for YOU." Please seek the local help you need.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 10:29:56

Comments

Linda, that's about as solid an answer as there is. Geographic change has been tried without success by many. My opinion was and still is that the only healthy response to a practicing alcoholic or addict is to leave.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 10:38:01

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic.

Linda on the farm, I will do for you the only thing I can, and that is pray for you and andy. I know that it is hard to stand by and watch someone destroy their life, I have had to do the same, but as dave said, there really is nothing you can do for him, but help yourself. If you "bail him out" of this situation, you may be enableing him to keep doing what he is doing, and I feel from your post that you already know this in your heart. It is so frustrating, that we can see all the reasons to live sober and straighten out and have a good life. Alcoholism is the only disease that tells us that we don't have it. I have visited people in the hospital dying from alcohol related diseases, and heard them deny the problem while lying there. I don't want to sound as if there is no hope, because there is, as evidenced by the words expressed here on a daily basis and in the many rooms of AA across the county. It is only that we know that nobody can help us until we are willing to accept it. Thank you for letting us know where he is, so that we can at least pray for him.

Love, Kerry


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 10:39:16

Comments

Linda, listen to what David and Glen have shared with you. Both you and Andy, are in my thoughts and prayers.


Member: Lisa M.
Location: NYC
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 10:54:46

Comments

Morning All -- Lisa M., alcoholic.

Wow, there's definitely a lot of different opinions going around this room!! As the old saying goes, "Viva la differance!" I think we're just lucky to be here sharing our opinions, different or otherwise.

I'm struggling with a major downswing today -- am trying hard to cope with feeling blue and despondent. It seemed to begin last night and feels like it's growing at massive speeds. I didn't drink though...I went to a meeting and made myself talk to people, even though my natual inclination was not to. Am just taking it minute by minute and every minute I stay sober, I'm doing good. The situation with my boyfriend feels rotten -- we went from living together and being each others best friend to living very far apart and maybe talking once a day, although as banal as the conversations are, we might as well not speak at all. I just don't understand how he can profess to love and miss me and still be content to see me maybe once a week when we go to therapy together. I guess I'm just really hurt and confused. Ah well, this too shall pass. I need to just leave all this in my higher power's hands...I just wish it would pass quicker than it is :-)

Thanks for the chance to share.

Love and peace to all,

Lisa M.


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 11:21:11

Comments

Hey friends, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Lisa "headstorms" are normal and you are right, it WILL pass...as long as you don't pick up a drink. Have you found a sponsor yet at the meetings in Brooklyn that you liked? Getting one soon can really be a support to you through the storms. You know, this disease FIGHTS against your efforts to stop, the desires of the flesh are sometimes in conflict with what you know in your mind to be the right thing. I am praying for you to 'hang tuf',,,I know you can do it!

Linda onthe farm my prayers are also with you and with Andy wherever he is. The advise above is good. Go to Al-anon and they will help you. Stay away from him if he is violent. Bailing him out only leads to denial for a while. I am praying REAL hard. God Bless to all my cyber friends, Swiss Mrs. PS to Bonnie I get to come in October YEAH for 3 weeks with the family, the State Fair and the leaves changing in the Smokey Mtns.


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 11:23:35

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - Linda on the farm, I'm sorry to hear about Andy T. He is a good man but has a fatal disease. Fortunately he has a head full of AA and a belly full of booze and the two don't mix. Once you have been enlightened about your disease, it ruins the drinking, Hopefully he will come to his senses soon and get back on track. Take care of yourself in the meantime, we love and care for you.

Lisa M. sorry you are blue and are weathering a "headstorm" hope it passes soon and you get feeling better. Glad you are diving into AA, there is lots of good stuff to be found within this wonderful organization.


Member: Pat O'B
Location: CO
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 11:44:06

Comments

Hi there, I have a comment to make about meetings. I got sober in a small town, when I was sober about one year, a friend took me to this really strange meeting. The leader talked for awhile, then he picked his wife to share, and everybody giggled and applauded loudly. I was trying to figure out what all the applause was about. My friend told me that the applause was a way of validating the groups acceptence of the person sharing. Okay, that sounded reasonable. Well, prettysoon the locals ran out of tagging their friends, and all that was left was four of us strange out-of-towners. There was a well dressed man and a middle aged woman, but they were not togethor, and of course, My friend and myself. Well, the well dressed man was sitting next to the last speaker, so he was asked if he would like to share. Oh, he was quite entertaining. WE all laughed and had a ggod time. When he was done, he damned near got a standing ovation. Wow, I was impressed. Now I knew what I needed to do to get the groups approval. I hope they call on me next, I'll get more applause than that well dressed man, but the middle-aged women was called on. Geez, did she have a tale of woe. She cried, mumbled,repeated herself, did not tell any jokes. The meeting was in Laughlin, Nevada. She says that her and her husband had been sober for some time, and that htey came to gamble and have some fun, but he got drunk and took off. She was taking a rental car home right after the meeting. She wasn't putting the AA hustle on to the group, unless she was sharper than I thought, but I think not. Anyway when this middle-aged women finished her tale of woe, her applause was way less than the applause given to the well dressed man. Well, she was still validated, but not all that much. I can't remember who was next, my friend or myself. But, when I did share, I very untactfully commented on what I saw. I seemed to say something like thst my sickness would crave the great applause, and that I would go to whatever ends neccassary to get it. Why, I'd not only compromise my integrity, but yours as well. I asked for the sake of my sobriety that I not be applauded, but they applauded me any way. My applause was much greater than that given to that well dressed man. I exalted in the high, what a buzz. I felt great, and all I had to do was say what people wanted to hear. A little integrity compromising goes a lng way. Many years later, as a long-haul truck driver, I had the good fortune of making meeting all around the country. I notoced that at some meetings and/or clubs I would be treated as a long lost friend as soon as I walked in the door, but at some I was given dirty looks ans shunned, but once I told them that I was from out of town (and I was no threat to their charade) I was treated better, especially if I told them what a great club thaey had and how friendly they all were. But, then there was Clovis,CA or Clarksville, TN or How could I forget Louisville, KY the friendliest place I had ever visited. I stopped at a club in the Louiville area (Indianna?) and every person, almost without exception, came into the room and looked for people that they did not know and came up and said hello. MY hand was wore out from all the hand shaking. I was given tapes from the lending library. ASked to go to dinner about a gazillion times. I got reams of phone numbers. With things like "when you get back this way, call me and you can stay at our house". Or, "Give me 24 hours and we can schedule to speak. Oh, don't forget Baker, Or. But, I would have to say that the best AA town that I have ever wxperienced is Dayton, Ohio. I almost moved there just for the level of sobriety. If anybody out htere keeps slipping and just can't seem to get started on the steps, well back your ditty bag and go to Dayton. You could not help, but grt sober in thst town.

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm living here in Grand JUnction and not going to meetings. Hey, can anyone tell me why people giggle in tag meetings?


Member: Doris :-)
Location: Oregon
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 12:29:22

Comments

Good morning, I am sitting here listening to a wonderful singer. His name is Israel Kamakawiwo'ole, as you can tell he is a Hawiian. He is dead now and I would like you all to hear his singing. The C D is called Ka 'Ano'i. . . The fifth song is called "I'll be there, Warrens Song." It is all about people helping each other. " You and I must make a pact, we will bring salvation back ~ ~ When I was a little boy - - my grandfather said to me- - - Help your friend and neighbor to live in harmony, , , when a man walks among us , , and stumbles to the ground, ~ ~ ~ you should be his brother and help him all along- - - take the time to look around ~ ~ ~ to brothers on the ground ~ ~ ~ ~ please don't look the other way ~ ~ listen to what I have to say , , , when I was a little boy ~ ~ ~ my grandfather said to me, , help your friends and neighbors , to live in harmony ~ ~ . / / / Isn't THAT why we are here? Love, Doris


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Yazoo City, Mississippi
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 12:48:28

Comments

Good morning, dear friends! This is Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcholic and addict. Linda on the farm, I'm grateful that you wrote to tell us about our friend Andy. Please accept the suggestions of others and take care of yourself. Alanon is an excellent resource for those who have friends or family members who are alcholics! If you don't know how to contact a group directly, get in touch with a local AA group. I'm confident someone there will help you.

It "took what it took" for me to finally accept that I was an alcoholic and addict and that I wanted help. ( And you do have to want it, not just need it.) Thank God I have found that help in this fellowship.

Love and God's peace to all who visit here.


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 13:12:22

Comments

LINDA AT THE FARM:On several levels I thank-you for telling us what's happened with Andy. For him I have the same sick feeling I would if a non-net friend was "out-there". I couldn't possibly add to what everyone here has said, except to say I agree. Please take care of yourself. Please go to Alanon, they're in the phone book and any AA group/person can direct you. Please remember that as long as a drunk has someone to bail him out of whatever havoc he/she has created that's one more reason not to change. Take care of yourself Linda. And please remember that TAKING CARE OF LINDA is the best thing you can do for Andy. It's amazing to me that in sobriety what a hard-*** I've become about some things. My attitude today is "let 'em hit that bottom, the sooner the better". Lord knows, that's the only reason I crawled out of the hole I was in, there wasn't any other direction to go. Of course I now know there's always a new bottom. And BELIEVE ME, that's a sight I DO NOT want to see. Linda, thanks again. Please, please,lady, TAKE CARE OF LINDA.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 13:15:16

Comments

Hi to all Y'all. I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. First I would like to say to Bonnie C., I still envy you in your ability to respond to each person here so personnally. I wish I could but can't remember the names. It has nto be either the shock treatments or the age factor or maybe both. I do enjoy your post and I think everyone else does too.--------Fayla, as usual you are you and that is what we all love about you. I hope you and Johnnie make out good when you do go to court. Please keep us up to date.--------Linda and Andy T. I had a post nearly ready to send and I knocked the keyboard off and lost it all. It was the first thing after your post. In it I had said practically the same thing that Glen and David suggested to you. Again I will remind you do not make excuses for him and you take care of yourself. I told you in that post I lost that I had to have every drink I ever took to get me here. When my wife stopped making excuses for me I started to see the writting on the wall. He has to decide for himself. Alanon will help you learn how to cope and to supply TOUGH love. I am praying for you both. Let us know how you are making out.------ Then lastly to Pat O. B. I have found for me that I get what I am looking for at meetings or in a club. I had to stop the clubs as I only have one lung and have emphasema in it, I have to stay away from smoke. I too agree that some " speaker" are just that "speakers" and some are talkers from the heart. I some how can usually tell when someone speaks from th heart and when they just speak. I also know from experience that if I look hard enough I can find some fault in every meeting I go to and after a period of time, I could rule all of them out, or I can also find some good in each meeting I go to. I used to be the greater in my home group down in central Fl. and it was one of the most rewarding jobs I have ever had. Some of you may wish to start it at your group. I canpromise you that you will enjoy it and most of the people that attend will really like it. We had a man and a woman to meet and hug each person who came. I really enjoyed the hugs and could hardly wait from one meeting to the next. If you walk into a room and the people are cool to you put out your hand and tell them who you are and that you would like to be a part of what ever is gouing on. Try it and see. In my nearly 23 years here I have found that the best way to have friends in hewre is to try my best to be a friend. Love to all in the fellowship and the program Sanders


Member: Pat O'B
Location: CO
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 13:23:37

Comments

Hi there, I have a comment to make about meetings. I got sober in a small town, when I was sober about one year, a friend took me to this really strange meeting. The leader talked for awhile, then he picked his wife to share, and everybody giggled and applauded loudly. I was trying to figure out what all the applause was about. My friend told me that the applause was a way of validating the groups acceptence of the person sharing. Okay, that sounded reasonable. Well, prettysoon the locals ran out of tagging their friends, and all that was left was four of us strange out-of-towners. There was a well dressed man and a middle aged woman, but they were not togethor, and of course, My friend and myself. Well, the well dressed man was sitting next to the last speaker, so he was asked if he would like to share. Oh, he was quite entertaining. WE all laughed and had a ggod time. When he was done, he damned near got a standing ovation. Wow, I was impressed. Now I knew what I needed to do to get the groups approval. I hope they call on me next, I'll get more applause than that well dressed man, but the middle-aged women was called on. Geez, did she have a tale of woe. She cried, mumbled,repeated herself, did not tell any jokes. The meeting was in Laughlin, Nevada. She says that her and her husband had been sober for some time, and that htey came to gamble and have some fun, but he got drunk and took off. She was taking a rental car home right after the meeting. She wasn't putting the AA hustle on to the group, unless she was sharper than I thought, but I think not. Anyway when this middle-aged women finished her tale of woe, her applause was way less than the applause given to the well dressed man. Well, she was still validated, but not all that much. I can't remember who was next, my friend or myself. But, when I did share, I very untactfully commented on what I saw. I seemed to say something like thst my sickness would crave the great applause, and that I would go to whatever ends neccassary to get it. Why, I'd not only compromise my integrity, but yours as well. I asked for the sake of my sobriety that I not be applauded, but they applauded me any way. My applause was much greater than that given to that well dressed man. I exalted in the high, what a buzz. I felt great, and all I had to do was say what people wanted to hear. A little integrity compromising goes a lng way. Many years later, as a long-haul truck driver, I had the good fortune of making meeting all around the country. I notoced that at some meetings and/or clubs I would be treated as a long lost friend as soon as I walked in the door, but at some I was given dirty looks ans shunned, but once I told them that I was from out of town (and I was no threat to their charade) I was treated better, especially if I told them what a great club thaey had and how friendly they all were. But, then there was Clovis,CA or Clarksville, TN or How could I forget Louisville, KY the friendliest place I had ever visited. I stopped at a club in the Louiville area (Indianna?) and every person, almost without exception, came into the room and looked for people that they did not know and came up and said hello. MY hand was wore out from all the hand shaking. I was given tapes from the lending library. ASked to go to dinner about a gazillion times. I got reams of phone numbers. With things like "when you get back this way, call me and you can stay at our house". Or, "Give me 24 hours and we can schedule to speak. Oh, don't forget Baker, Or. But, I would have to say that the best AA town that I have ever wxperienced is Dayton, Ohio. I almost moved there just for the level of sobriety. If anybody out htere keeps slipping and just can't seem to get started on the steps, well back your ditty bag and go to Dayton. You could not help, but grt sober in thst town.

I'm still trying to figure out why I'm living here in Grand JUnction and not going to meetings. Hey, can anyone tell me why people giggle in tag meetings?


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 14:20:37

Comments

Hi everyone,

To Linda on the farm..... I want to add another supportive voice to your taking care of yourself and maybe seeking some help in Alanon and to not pick up any of the pieces for Andy and let him hit his bottom -- it is his best and maybe only hope. .... I am sorry to hear he is where he's at right now.

My prayers are with you both.


Member: Steve D
Location: NJ
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 16:15:25

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm Steve a gratful alcoholic.

A message like Linda's certainly puts my worries into perspective. Reminds me that whatever they are, drinking just makes them worse. Linda, AlAnon and distance from Andy if he's violent are probably your two next best things to do. Don't bail him out with the jobs. When my wife stopped calling in sick for me Monday mornings, when she left with the kids after a holiday weekend of drinking, my enabling support gave out and that helped me realize that I could not go on that way. I started to want to stop drinking. Enabling him is not loving him but rather hurting him. I will pray for you that you find the strength to do the right things and for Andy that he hits bottom and wants to stop digging. One word of encouragement is that for me, AA ruined my drinking when I had a relapse. Always in the back of my mind was "hey I can drink again" followed by "something's wrong here". Hope Andy comes back.

David B, glad I could help with the info. Also, your advice to Linda was right on...Bonnie, I ditto Sanders regarding your posts. They're fun to read and kind of like a "find Waldo" looking for the names you mention. I have been to Seattle twice and I love it, even though I had a relapse there after 6 years of not drinking. But, the slip could've happened anywhere because my state of mind was not into staying sober. But, my next trip there I went to an AA meeting in the lower level of a Burger King not too far away from Pike and it had an entertaining collection of fellow AAers there. Love the smoked salmon and views in Seattle...Amy, my mother used to make sour pickles in the summertime. My father would send us to the Catskills for the whole summer so we wouldn't have to be in the city. My mother would pick cucumbers and leave them in a jar in the sun (after adding pickling spices) and after opening them, the aroma and taste were terrific. Still reminds me of those days when I smell them...Martina, did you receive the info I sent?... Mark L, you out there?

Have a nice evening everybody. Thanks for letting me share. Steve


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 16:44:00

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

Doris, darlin' the lyrics were absolutely precious. I'm here because I don't want to drink any more. When I accomplish that simple goal day by day I'm given the chance to be of service to my brothers and sisters. Time was I only had time to be of service to my brothers and sisters in AA. As the years have crawled by my HP has been able to expand the sphere of my influence, as far as being of service is concerned. But my primary purpose is still to stay sober and help the alcholic that wants help.

Bravo on the question Glen. Our message is that there is a way for the alcoholic to get and stay sober. One day at a time for the rest of his/her life.

Ain't that bitchin'?

But what are we, the opinionated dogs of controversy to to. Keep it simple?? Let the spiritual answer in this program alter our personalaties?? Become one with the group??

You betcha!!

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: bon c
Location: seattle
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:04:44

Comments

Hi family, bon/alky here, (((Hugs))) ((linda/farm)) sorry to hear about our friend andy, nobodys fault, nothing u or that anyone, did or didnt do made him drink, dont buy that one! thats the insidiousness of our disease, he's just not finished, if he makes it back, he knows where to go and AA will be here. My mom died 12 days after I got sober and because I had run out of answers, I sought them in the rooms of AA, not in a bottle, drug or pill. For I had been convinced that it wasn't there and I WAS finished. We all reach there in our own time, after as much pain as we choose to endure. ((david)) ((glen)) ((kerry)) and those after them told it like it is, love your wisdom my friends, thats why I keep coming back here. phone ringing, bblater if i can get in Love u all


Member: bon c
Location: seattle
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:05:54

Comments

Hi family, bon/alky here, (((Hugs))) ((linda/farm)) sorry to hear about our friend andy, nobodys fault, nothing u or that anyone, did or didnt do made him drink, dont buy that one! thats the insidiousness of our disease, he's just not finished, if he makes it back, he knows where to go and AA will be here. My mom died 12 days after I got sober and because I had run out of answers, I sought them in the rooms of AA, not in a bottle, drug or pill. For I had been convinced that it wasn't there and I WAS finished. We all reach there in our own time, after as much pain as we choose to endure. ((david)) ((glen)) ((kerry)) and those after them told it like it is, love your wisdom my friends, thats why I keep coming back here. phone ringing, bblater if i can get in Love u all


Member: Tammy L.
Location: Burbank, CA
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:14:15

Comments

Hello everyone, Tammy alcoholic here. It's been a couple of days since I have posted or been able to read the posts. I missed it. I've been at work and they have actually been making me work!!!! Can you imagine that?!?!?LOL Linda at the farm - the suggestions you revceived here are wonderful. My prayers will be with you and Andy T. Bonnie- thank you for the message. I love your posts. Cindy C. in No. CA - where did you live down here? And where did you move to? Steve D. in NJ - aren't children wonderful? Lisa A in SD - where do you live in SD? I have alot of family there and lived there myself for awhile. Love to all. I will be catching up on my e-mail today. Anyone that wants my email address is Tammy_List@warnerbros.com. Am going to check into this ICQ thing too.


Member: mark t.
Location: miss.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:16:54

Comments

glenn I do not argue with pigs becas they stink. and they have big egos. fgood job for alkoholics mark t.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:32:00

Comments

Kerry, an alcoholic - just wanted to let Cindy C. know that I got sober at the Burbank Group in 1980. Are they still claiming to be the "Sobriety Capital of the World"?? You can e-mail me at alarmme@srv.net if you want. Hi to everyone else, sure am glad I don't have to play that eagles song "Get Over It" to Dave anymore!! Take Care.


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 17:59:59

Comments

Hi All, Kim D ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT

SANDERS W. I want to thank you for sharing what you did about going into a new meeting and extending my hand first. Making my first geographic move in sobriety just 6 months ago, I was amazed how frightened I was to walk into a new meeting, in a new city. Very few people spoke to me on my way into the meeting, so I spoke up during the introductions and just told them how vunerable I was feelings. Everyone just really opened up to me and welcomed me with such warmth. I learned that it is my job to open up so folks can come in. For me, it's building trust in my HP and AA when I reach out "for help" and "to help" others. I love the idea of designated greeters, sounds like a great group. I am in Cen. Fl, about 25 miles south of Orlando - I'd love to visit them sometime. Please email me the name/loc etc. if you don't mind at: tonykim@evcom.net.

DAVID B. YES!!!IT'S TOTALLY BITCHIN'

Thanks to all of you for lettin' me share.

Hugs - Kim D

PS (Any of you other "stay-at-home" moms out there, give me a shout on email. Let's talk.


Member: Bonnie C/alcoholic
Location: Seattle
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 19:00:15

Comments

Hi family, gotta get in as much as I can before my page runs out, geeeze Im alcoholic - bon here, ((amy gc)) Oct, cool, enjoy, dancin on the coffee table again, LOL ((pat ob)) the GrandJunct thing is probably a God thing, I know this seattle thing is - in san diego my neighborhood turned into a war zone so I was truly terrified to go to meetings, guns, car jackings, etc was really getting scary, other things had happened that prevented me from giving myself the joy of fellowship, during that time of isolation I did quite a few inventories on areas of my life that werent working because they had told me that when things werent working my way my time is better spent doing something while waiting for Gods direction, so if you dont like the meetings, start one, if you dont like the area, move. while waiting to make your decision, take inventories and just know that this shall pass. just a temporary situation. I feel that u know that tho. welcome here tho ((Jodene)) am gonna use your example and put bonnie/alco on sign in, thanks & ((Martina)) always glad youre here ((steve d)) guess I never thot of it that way, they are like finding Waldo Huh? LOL ((ronnie)) hang in there my friend, this will all work out, you're doin great ((kim)) ((tj)) ((ken d)) if you stop by to collect your cyber hugs ((barry)) ((chreise)) ((tim)) ((lil Zack)) ((cliff)) Cribbage rematch!! love u Hey maybe if I keep letting cliff beat me in cribbage LOL he'll let me post on his computer when my page fills up, like he wouldnt. *s* ((to all)) please never limit your posts or the length of them for the next sentence thats in your heart to share may be the one that speaks to one of us that still suffers, but thanks for the consideration, I have such a wonderful family here. Thanks! Dear God please bless all who venture here, Love and hugs, bon


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 19:18:30

Comments

Linda from the farm here again: I am totally overwhelmed by all the responses and support I recieved from Glen, Suzanna, Amy, Michelle, Jodene, Sanders, Martina, Steve, bon C and Tammy. It has totally touched my heart and I thank-you all. I do know what I must do and pray for the strenght to carry it out. Will hurt and disappointment ever go away? Thanks again...Linda on the farm


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 19:47:42

Comments

I'm David. Hurt and disappointment will subside along with the working of those danged steps that the good folks at Alanon will be helping you with. Go Linda, or you might find yourself in one bad position after another. See, us drunks have an innate ability to zero in on good people that will help us stay in our desease. You probably don't deserve to be one of our targets but without the help of Alanon you may be doomed to that fate. Ask my exwife.

I'm praying for you Linda, and for Andy

Don't be a stranger, keep us posted.

Love in the fellowship DB


Member: Linda
Location: from the farm
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 20:42:30

Comments

Linda from the farm....to all the concerned friends of Andy t and those so supportive to me. I have located Andy using a computer on line near the athens area. Haven't heard from him directly...but; least now know he is not in jail of dead.....sent him a message...no response as of yet.


Member: FAYLA    G
Location: GALENA  KS
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 21:01:35

Comments

fayla alcoholic ,i have been at the hospital all day with my daugh.Shelly getting her tubes tied ,they gave me a beeper ,so i could go any where in the hospital i wanted and if i was needed they would page me ,they have a courtyard with two fountains and pretty flowers,i love to sit there and smoke,a lady sat down beside me and started talking to me ,she was runing down everything and every body she could think she started talking about the treatment center upstairs ,she said they let them dopes run all over this place . thats what she called us dopes ,i just looked at her and smiled ,i got up and left ,i wanted to say alot of things to her ,but i knew it would not do a bit of good ,iJUST GAVE IT TO GOD . ILOVE YA ALL FAYLA G ,


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Ore.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 21:08:06

Comments

Good evening, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. A recovering alcoholic too thank GOD. LINDA, on the farm: My heart goes out to you. I am so sorry that you have had this 'thing' happen to you. I had just written Andy T's address down and was going to write to him this week and "poof" he's gone. That could happen to any of us and although I am very sorry that it has hapened to him or happens to anyone else I will learn from Andy's misfortune. "There but for the grace of God go I." Like I was just saying to another in these rooms I was afraid Andy was enjoying the pain medication a little too much. Those triggers can get any of us any time. I had to have extensive dental work done a few months ago and I was scared to death of the thought of taking tranquilizers and pain meds. BUT ! I had to take them. So, I talked to one of my councelors and she saw to it that I was 'mentally prepared' to take them and I made sure I had a friend there when I did take them. Using ANY kind of mood altering substance is like giving a 2 year old a loaded gun to a recovering alcoholic or drug abuser. I feel that all that has been said to you about how you can handle this is right on. GO to alanon. READ the books. WORK the steps of alanon. Now it is YOU that must be protected. Protected from the next time someone tries to USE you. He may have been a nice guy but HE DID use you. AND ! ! if he has a history of any kind of violence you need to be especially careful. I know you feel hurt and disappointed. But ! in case you are feeling a little angry that would be appropriate too. If this man is thinking of coming back a little anger directed toward him might be just what he needs to hear. A little of your anger will be a certain line in the sand and I feel that you may need to set some boundaries pretty soon. Maybe it is just me but I feel that you have a right to a little anger right now. Anyway Linda, I DO wish you well, listen to the above good people. They are speaking from experience and their hearts and you know that that IS the best teacher. May the Great Spirit hold you, and comfort you, and guide you ~ ~ Doris


Member: caryn
Location: illinois
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 21:20:22

Comments

linda on the farm--the suggestions you have been given are right on the money. i just wanted to add one or two.

if you are not willing to go to alanon, some of us are more stubborn than others, there is a very good book that may help you called Keeping Them Sober--not sure of the author, but i can find out if you are interested. it isn't a quick fix--mostly it says to do what you need to do for yourself, and let God take care of the drunk. but it helped me to see that tough love wasn't the same thing as raging witch....

secondly, i hope you have someone you feel comfortable talking to who does not have the emotional attatchment to this situation as you. this is someone who can probably give you a saner outlook than you may be able to find on your own.

when my ex went back to drinking and all the ugliness that entails, i was asked to think about one thing--if it absolutely never changed, could i live with it. when i finally said 'no', i became responsible to do what i needed to do.

i am saddened. but not surprised. it happens every day and the longer you hang around here, the more you see it. it hurts that anyone has to suffer, but GOD i am grateful it isn't me.

sorry i haven't added much lately. i am gearing for california and wondering why my 14 year-old packed 17 pairs of sock and no underwear.

but for the grace of God...


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 22:53:23

Comments

Hi it's Terry & Laurie again. Linda on the farm, you've just gotten the best kind of help you can get, these folks are right on the money, please take care of yourself, and let Andy's HP take care of him. Thank you all for sharing. It's been real nice being a part of the "Coffee Pot" meeting and experiencing all of the ES&H. Until next time. Terry & Laurie


Member: Sanders W.
Location:
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 23:30:07

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Just got back from my F2F meeting and it was a very good one as no one got drunk at the meeting. I was catching up on all the posts made since I left this afternoon and the thought occured to me that Andy T. may be reading these posts. If you are Andy, I want you to know we all want you back in the family before it is too late for you. I have known several people who went back to try drinking again and tried to come back, and SOME of us were fortunate enough to be able to make it back. Lots of us are praying for you to get back but as you know, it is something that only you can do. Good luck and God bless. Sanders.-------------sanders@wfeca.net---- write me if you wish to talk privately but talk to someone either here or there.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Gracevile,Fl.
Date: 23 Jun 1998
Time: 23:31:13

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Just got back from my F2F meeting and it was a very good one as no one got drunk at the meeting. I was catching up on all the posts made since I left this afternoon and the thought occured to me that Andy T. may be reading these posts. If you are Andy, I want you to know we all want you back in the family before it is too late for you. I have known several people who went back to try drinking again and tried to come back, and SOME of us were fortunate enough to be able to make it back. Lots of us are praying for you to get back but as you know, it is something that only you can do. Good luck and God bless. Sanders.-------------sanders@wfeca.net---- write me if you wish to talk privately but talk to someone either here or there.


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 00:45:39

Comments

Hello, I'm Ruby a grateful recovered alcoholic and I am happy to be here. I have had some diff with server and tried to connect ICQ, been in a chat room also but I have been reading here and you guies sure do make me feel like I have a home. Thx for all the email etc. I hope all well and will read further tonight. God bless goodnight.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 00:51:56

Comments

You all sound like you have come to know one another quite well. I hope to become a part of this community. I will give you a quick low down on me so I can become apart of. 18 drank and drugged so much started hearing voices. Doctors said schizophrenia. Nope just alcoholism. After staying dry a while the voices went away. I Came to Alcoholics Anonymous and felt like I came home. Met another sober alcoholic in first year of sobriety (not recomended) and married 2 years later. Worked the steps hard and thourough and It still pays off. Norm and I have been married now for 7 years and have a daughter 16 mo. old. Life gets good but It dosen't always go smooth. My heart broke when we found out that Kacia (my daughter) has to have open heart surgery when she becomes 3 yrs. old. Talk about a blow. I know these things can be fixed easily now but It's still scarry. Norm took it even harder than me. Not a thought of drink. Its great to be free. You can survive anything sober. Thank God for this program and for all of you. I look forward to getting to know you all and finding out about your lives. God Bless.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 01:01:18

Comments

Hi to all Y'all. i am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Welcome to our little family Debra D. from Canada. You sound to me like you are a dues paid up member of AA and I look forward to getting to know you and your husband better. You have my prayers in dealing with your problems and as you said, it certainly is lots easier dealing with them sober than drunk. Love in the fellowship and the program. Sanders Watford ICQ# 14412521


Member: DONALD M
Location: PASADENA , CALIF
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 01:11:09

Comments

DONALD,ALCOHOLIC INTERESTING DAY,AT WORK ,AT HOME AND ON "THE COFFEE POT". MY JOB AND OTHERS IN MY SECTION IS BEING "OUTSOURCED". MORE MEETINGS TODAY.THANK GOD FOR THE TOLLS TO DEAL WITH WHATEVER COMES UP. THREE AND 1/2 HOURS OF YARD WORK (OH BOY, DAYLIGHT SAVINGS...GOOD THING), AND THE DRAMA OF LIFE ON THE "COFFEE POT" CONTINUED WITH OR WITHOUT ME.. LINDA ON THE FARM... YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE BEST ADVICE AVALIABLE BASED ON THE EXPERIENCE OF MANY EX-DRUNKS. MAY GOD BLESS YOU FURTHER IN YOUR JOURNEY OF LIFE....MAY GOD BLESS YOU ANDY...ABOVE ALL...GOD:S WILL BE DONE NOT MINE...DON:T KNOW IF YOU WILL STAY SOBER THIS TIME OR COME OUT ALIVE....THE :C . P: FAMILY IS OBVIOUSLY PRAYING FOR ANDY AND LINDA BOTH.... LOVE TO ALL CP FAMILY...DONALD


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 03:04:35

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

Welcome to the coffee pot Debra. My wife and I did the boy meets girl on AA campus thing too. We also have post sobriety children. We were married one month after my second AA birthday. She has more time than me and I have sixteen and one half years. She is my best buddy. You will read her as Kerry. I still think she 13th stepped me but to this day she will deny it.

Our oldest had to undergo double hernia surgery when he was about two months old, twelve years ago. Made me crazy, we stayed sober in the same way you and Norm will. Just don't wander too far into the what ifs, let God take care of your baby. He took care of ours.

Keep coming back, we all look foreward to getting to know you.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Linda P Traveler
Location: CA, USA
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 03:07:43

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. I was overwhelmed to here of Andy T's condition. Sorry Linda on the Farm for what you both must be going through right now. You have my prayers; Andy, if your reading this, sounds like you did fall in the fishing pond. How about letting us reel you back on shore with the rest of us Andy? The bait is the best, its called sobriety. Well, we are all here, waiting for you to return. Looking forward to the hour you are safely back home with us.

Fayla, wonderful you were able to walk away from that insulting lady. There was a lady that visited our counter today and called our receptionist a B**CH! What language in a public place. Unreal. My supervisor called that lady into her office and gave her the once over and sent her packing. That surprised all of us, as she is normally a laid back sort of person. How is Shelly's recovery from surgery doing?

Debra D I will visit the Winner's Circle meeting that both Glen and I posted this week on Friday. ICQ is not required to visit that live chat meeting site which is at 6:30 pm Pacific Daylight Savings Time daily.

Welcome to all the new people visiting and posting on this site,as well as a cheery hello to my dear friends I have grown to love here on the coffee pot.

Amy CG, hope you received my e-mail okay.

Pat Z, cards and dinner tomorrow (Wednesda) ??? Call me at the office, or leave me an e-mail. Husband's gone fishing!!!

Love to all, Linda P


Member: Doris H
Location: In Springfield on the farm
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 03:14:43

Comments

Good evening everyone, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. It looks like Sanders, Donald and I have the late shift tonight. Welcome Ruby O, Debra D, and Norm. You are welcome here anytime, day or night. I understand that what is happening with your darling daughter Kacia must be heartbreaking. I would like you to know that little Kacia is in our prayers (another X on the back of my hand) and will be remembered over and over. SANDERS: I had the same feeling as you had. I will now talk to Andy T. Andy, this is Doris and I have a very strong feeling that you will check in on the coffee pot. I, and I think the others here, would like you to know that you can come back any time. I think you know that. You have seen others come back and there were never any recriminations. Never any accusations or judgement. How could any of us EVER judge someone who just isn't done yet. Only YOU and GOD know when you are done. The same thing could happen to any one of us at any time. We KNOW that. We also know that we love you. We know that we all care about you, and want the same things for you that we want for ourselves. Sobriety and peace. You may read those things said by me and others that sound harsh. Remember, we were trying to help a lady that is hurting because of what your disease has led you to do. We were only telling the truth as we saw it. We were being honost as I am being honost now. Come back Andy T. We miss your ESH and your sense of humor. Have I got a story to tell you. I had to "milk" the mare today. Want to hear the rest? Your sister in sobriety, Doris


Member: Bonnie C /alcoholic
Location: Seattle
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 04:40:07

Comments

bonnie/alcoholic here, Happy Birthday ((Cliff)), heres prayin for all good things for you, God Bless you my special friend, Love and hugs, bon

((Andy)), if you're lurkin, sign on and get your ration of love, I probably wont be able to log on much after tonight, but I'll be back with the new week, and stay the hell out of the pasture!

Dear God please bless all who venture here


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 04:48:30

Comments

Hey friends, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Andy if you are reading this (or anyone else who is still suffering in the disease) please know that we will love you until you can love yourself again and that ain't no line either. I was really heart broken that he went back out, you see you guys are my first AA family that I have really felt a strong tie to since rehab. I had forgotten what it feels like when a friend goes back out but I guess I need to wake up and smell the coffee! As my good friend Jodene says we din't get here by singing off key in the chorus. I remember in rehab we were told that only 30 percent would make it, we all had gotten so close and were so sure of our WANT not to drink again, we were also at the time being given enough phenobarbitol not to have the jonses so we just looked at each other with slack jaws (my best expression, don't know why) wondering who would it be? Then in outpatient I got my first hurt when I drove 30 min. to another town to pick up my girlfriend and she would not come to the door, pretending not to be home or whatever. I was so heartbroken I cried to the counselor and she said, "Amy you have got to learn how to take care of yourself before you can expend your energy taking care of others" And I thought how cold. Then a few weeks later a guy friend we called Big Jim called me up and asked if he could borrow 20 bucks for groceries until he got his paycheck, I drove 45 min. away and TOOK him to the grocery store and bought him twice that amt. In groceries and he was so mad I wouldn't just give him money he never called again or showed up at the meetings and once again I was hurt. This was 3 and a half years ago but now I feel like it has just happened I am sorry for unloading all this on you guys, I just wish I was not SO dam sensitive, any advise from the oldtimers on how I can just ‚get over it' is greatly appreciated. I do not want to become so jaded that I question everyone's sencerity, don't want to be afraid of cyber friends. By the way I also wanted Aall y'all to know I have got me a cyber sponsor, one I think the world of. To others new at this site I am not able to have a f2f sponsor because I live in the alps where swiss german is spoken and it is NOT my mother tongue, but I am really working on serenity best I can. Fayla sweetie I think you did the right thing at the hospital, some people have to s---talk others to feel good about themselves. Your walking away spoke volumes. Love to all in the fellowship, Amy GC


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 08:02:45

Comments

Hey it is Amy again, last time today I swear. You guys must be in sleepy land still and here it is 2 pm, hot as blazes. I had a deep prayer and am feeling better therefore, brain storm is passing I think. Doris inspired me to listen o music and I played Celine Dion, I want to share something that I am singing to my higher power Jesus Christ today..."For all those times you stood by me, for all the truth that you made me see, for all the joy you brought to my life, for all the wrongs that you made right, for every dream you made come true, for all the love I found in you, I'll be forever thankful Jesus. You were my strenght when I was weak, you were my voice when I couldn't speak, you were my eyes when I couldn't see, you saw the best there was in me, lifted me up when I couldn't reach you gave me faith cuz YOU believed. I'm everything I am because you loved me!" God bless all my cyber friends today. I have a check up in an hour but he is holding me in the palm of his hand to steady my own...Love in the fellowship Amy GC


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 09:54:36

Comments

Good morning, my name is Suzanne and I am an alcoholic. Andy if you are reading this, know that I love you and I am praying for you.

Fayla - I think what you did at the hospital was great! I joined a PBC support group in April. PBC is an autoimmune disease, it is not related to alcoholic liver disease, and some pbc members go out of their way(snide remarks) to protect themselves from being labeled "alcoholic". It got really weird for me, like it was in conflict with my recovery. In the beginning, I wasn't sure I was going to stay with the group. At first, I felt it was necessary to "hide" the fact that I was an alcoholic. That didn't do me any good, just caused stress. For many years, I worked so hard at hiding my drinking...and I sure didn't wan't old habits re-surfacing. I did however, find the group to be loving, caring, and very imformative. When I read those comments, I turn them over to my Higher Power and continue with the group sharing. If and when they learn I am an alcoholic, I will do the same.

Debra D - Welcome to the coffeepot - I know it can be hard, when a child is not well. My 9 year old daughter was diagnosed with juvenile rheumatoid arthritis when she was 1yr old. Yes, at first it was scary, when the specialists told us of the crippling circumstances and blindness that could occur and of the internal bleeding that could occur from the required treatment for the arthritis. It was hard to see her in pain as she took her first steps in life. I recall it as heartwrenching when she was to young to tell us how she hurt. But she kept walking. With love and prayer, we became her strength. She started running. Over the past 8 years she has learned to live with this disability, she knows nothing different. She has had some real tough times, but she also enjoys a childhood filled with love, laughter and support, especially where her brothers are concerned. She has danced, ballet, jazz, tap and invited into the competition dance group(this is considered an honour)The group even won first place in a competition 3 yrs ago. Two yrs ago she was forced to give up dancing as more joints became affected, and it was to difficult for her. She is a good soccer player, star of the team one year. When she suffers severe flare-ups, she picks up a book(she loves to read), she draws pictures and she continues to run around playing with her friends, even if she is a few steps behind, because you see, she tells us "this is my life, and I want to live it!". Pretty smart for a 9yr old, huh? Boy, do I ever love her, - and her dad, and her brothers and friends for the love and support they give her. When I started typing here I din't know this is what I was going to share. A special thanks for letting me share this, I didn't realize how much her life has meant to me. Thank you God.

It is a great day to be sober.

Luv Suzanne. (I didn't intend this to be so long)


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:32:31

Comments

Fayla, your situation in the hospital reminds me of a time B.S.(Before Sobriety). I was working at a low security women's facility(and hey, I don't tell just everyone that I actually WORKED in a place like that, I DO have my pride ya know!LOL). Anyway...this gal was sent over from the state headquarters,as a demotion. Her first morning she stood nervously sipping her coffee and addressed a woman at the typewriter."How can you stand working around all these criminals?". The typist looked up and calmly said "I are one.". I thought I would bust. See, the gal from the state office was judging the typist by her street clothes!....I know yall are probably sick of my dogs by now, but one more story about them (today): My 110# Rottweiller knows he's not allowed on the furniture. So, instead of laying on the couch, he puts his butt on it, and leaves all four legs on the floor,looking for all the world like a person sitting there. LOL...Last night I was sharing with a non-member my distress over the drinking-again-Andy and hurt&confused Linda. I commented that I was once told that we are a group of liers, whoremongers and theives. She exclaimed "But Jodene, you're not!". While I told her "I'm just one drink away", I was really reminding myself. I went to a noon meeting yesterday. The subject was Honesty. Ain't God cool? Amy, hope the Dr gives you a clean bill of health. Thanks for the Dion interpretation. Loved it.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:33:42

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic. Suzanne H. thank you for telling us about your daughter. She sounds like special folk.

Andy T. we are all drunks. Alkies drink. If your scrawny butt is still alive check in. We don't love you any less, but then we don't love you in greater measure either, the love we feel for each other is immeasureable, dummy.

Amy I can just see the group of you sitting around "slack jawed" on phenobarbitol wondering who it would be. There goes my mind again. We all heard outragous percentages when we got sober, I knew they must be wrong. Today, when I "look" around myself I am certain the percentages were wrong. They attributed too high a percentage to the number of alkies that would stay sober over the long run. Unless they were looking at sobriety in the same way doctors look at remission from cancer. You know the numbers, if you are still alive five years after diagnosis you are considered "cured".

I truely love all ya'all on this site, KCB!!

Love in the fellowship DB


Member: Lisa M
Location: The Big Apple
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:36:54

Comments

Hi all. Lisa M. , alcoholic and addict.

Bless all of you for your words of wisdom and love, not only for me but for everyone here.

Linda on the farm, my heart goes out to you and I pray that you are finding strength in the words written here. I was in a similar situation 7 years ago and I wish I had known about AA and Alanon back then. I did eventually leave my addict fiancee but not before I had gotten myself hooked on drugs and had done enough damage to myself that I am now in therapy to mend. I think everyone's advice here is amazing. I hope you are doing well.

Amy, our Swiss Mrs., I haven't yet found a sponsor. I am vascillating between Brooklyn and Manhattan meetings, depending on my schedule. Yesterday I went to a great beginners meeting at lunch and my only regret is that I couldn't stay after because I had to get back to work. I do have faith that I will find my footing in the meetings and rooms soon.

Kim D in Florida, I feel the same way every time I go into a room and most of the time I don't talk. (Which is why probably I don't have a sponsor) I'm going to try doing what you did -- thanks for the input.

I am so thankful to my Higher Power for this, my 7th day of sobriety. God bless to all.

Love, Lisa


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:47:48

Comments

David, you're close. That topic comes up repeatedly in addiction treatment. I always ask them how they get their percentages on who has recovered. Mostly they interview the patient at periodic intervals. The patient. Who, as Jodene points out, are liars. And then they tell us we're insane.


Member: Kim D.
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:49:45

Comments

Hi All, Kim D, ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT

Goodmorning. I hope everyone is doing good. Debra C, just wanted to say thanks for the email. I did write back, but got an error message saying is was not delivered. I'll try again. In the meantime, I just want to tell you about my son, Anthony who is almost 4 years old. He was born with a hernia on one testicle and the other testicle was not descended properly. Since he was born 3 months early and weighted only 2 pounds at birth they waited until he was 20 pounds to do the surgery to correct these problems. The first surgery went just fine (he was up playing the next day) and now he will be having a second operation in August, perhaps a third sometime after. So,I know that it is tough to turn your baby over to stranger, but God will be there as well, so she will be in good hands. I have not wanted to drink through any of this, thank God!!! But, I have wanted just to hold my breath and sharing my fears with my people close to me is what allows me to Exhale. You and your family will be in my prayers

Hugs, Kim D.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 10:51:26

Comments

Boy, it's great to be here, I love you guys!

Suzanne H.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 11:59:20

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Congragulations Fayla on being able to walk away from the woman ( without slapping her). That must have taken some doing. I hope you are finding your new sponsor is beter than the other one and that youand Johnnie make out OK in court. Amy, I was told long time ago to never loan an alkie money expecting to get it back and that way you won't be disappointed. I have learned one thing about alkies and that is that the only thing that is predictable about an alkie is that they are un-predictable. If we keep everything in proper perspective, we will not be hurt as much. I have also learned that we have to take risk in this program. If I reach out and love another I take the risk of being hurt. So this is a matter of risk to get the strokes we all like. Love in the fellowship and program Sanders


Member: Chris L
Location: Wisconsin
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 12:20:40

Comments

Chris L., alcoholic. New to the list and sobriety, but hopefull and positive after reading the other posts. I've struggled with alcohol almost my entire life. My grandfather on my mom's side and my father are both alcoholics. I started when I was 12 (I am now 32). My family has finally stepped in and tried to help, but they are driving me nuts. I am a divorced mother of 3 so my mother insists on sitting with me at my house to "watch" me. I end up resentful and I want to drink. Last night I slipped off the wagon. I new she wasn't coming and I promptly ran to the store and got 2 bottles. Of course I hid them in my room because my children have been instructed to "call Grandma" She came over after one and a half bottles. Now I feel ashamed and sorry. I need help with this first step, but I, too, live in a small town and right now I don't have the strength to go f2f. Any advice out there for a newbie? I want to stay sober with all my heart, but it's a struggle. Any comments would be very welcome.


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 12:21:57

Comments

Linda on the farm here once more.....wishing to thank you not for only the continued support to me; but; also the non-judgemental support you are giving Andy T. I'm sure he is monitioring this site.....and hope it helps him to reach out again. Jodena: personal request if not too persumtive;wish you would email me at my personal email address parkernuts@attnet.com could really use some one on one *girltalk* re: my 18yrs. old daughter (single mom of a 5month old)who parties all nite drinking and takes the baby with her. Then sleeps all day while the baby screams. The police was called on her last friday for violence and damage to property. She let me take the baby for a few days; but demanded him back yesterday. Terribly stressed not only about Andy, but daughter and grandson as well. Thanks for everything


Member: James M
Location: Portland, Oregon
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 12:31:33

Comments

Hiya, y'all. I found this site when I was searching for some recovery chat with substance. I very much like the idea of coffee pot. good stuff I've read here. online is cool for us stay at home moms (or dads, as the case may be) but, I believe the very nature of human communication makes them a weak(at Best) substitute for F2F meetings. I liked what I read about dogs this week. I have been working on a list ofdifferences between dogs and alcoholics(ie dogs are SUPPOSED to sleep on the porch)and would appreciate any input. Oddly enough, I think I have an alcoholic dog. don't laugh. My wife brought it home from the pound one day, "on instinct". I was still drinking at the time, and I noticed that whenever I had liquor in the house, the dog went after it, and drank it with gusto. It didn't like beer or wine, but it would rather have rum than steak (I know.. I tested it. does that make ME the sick puppy?).anyway, I'm wondering if anyone out there has info about aladog, or alacat programs.


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 13:06:14

Comments

To Chris L in Wisconsin, I would suggest looking in your phone book - (Alcoholics Anonymous) - will have a phone number listed there. Call the number, someone will be on the line to talk to you. This may be a little bit easier, at first, than walking into meeting. It's a good place to start. I'll be praying for you. Also, feel free to email me: tonykim@evcom.net

Hugs, Kim D


Member: Lori G.
Location: Indiana
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 13:44:18

Comments

Hi everyone, Lori here alcoholic, I'm new to this place and and I'm getting lost with all the different people and stories, however, each of them touch me. I hope to put names with your ESH soon.

I too try to do too much for the suffering alcoholic in and out of the rooms. I stated before that one of the women I sponsor was coming to live with me. Well, the counsler at the treatment center called to tell me that this was not going to happen. She was abrasive, told me that this woman was having symptoms of relapse and that I should have known better than to give her a geographical cure. I had really prayed about this, that His will be done, so when I got the call I could accept it, it WAS a relief and it WAS what I needed to hear. AND I practiced putting principals before personalities. *smile*

Loved the Rotweiller (sp)? story, sounds like my Doberman Misty, 100 lbs and thinks she is a lap dog!

Thenks for letting me share, Lori


Member: byron c
Location: Vancouver, Canada
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 13:47:11

Comments

Just surfing the net and came across The Coffee Pot. It sounds like an interesting forum. I've been sober for over 21 years so I know first hand this program works, but you would have a difficult time telling me that 21 years ago. At any rate, the promises in the big book have all come true, even though the road has been rocky at times. Just thought I would pass that along. God bless AA's everywhere. (I use to cringe at hearing "God" being spoke at A.A. minutes, but has Aristotle once said: There is nothing as constant as change.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 15:01:48

Comments

Kerry an Alcoholic

I did not 13th Step David!!! LOL

Have a good day everyone!!


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 15:39:40

Comments

That just goes to show that denial remains an active part of the condition well into the 19th year of sobriety.


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 16:06:07

Comments

Linda here on the farm: Jodena, gave you the wrong email address earlier. Should have been parkernuts@worldnet.att.net Thanks again girl!


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 16:16:17

Comments

Hi All, Kim D here, ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT

Just wanted to add to this thread of "Spiritual Songs"

"I love you, you love me, we're a happy family, with a great big hug and kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me TOO.

The Barney Song

Great big Hug,

Kim D


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 16:31:22

Comments

Hi, my name is Suzanne and I am an alcoholic.

Chris L. - Kim D has given you some good advice. I am a stay-at-home mom of 3, tried hiding my drinking from the watchdogs, my kids, husband, neighbours, for years. The last year I drank, there was no more hiding, problems in life escalated and so did drinking. My last drunk, was nothing short of ugly for me and my family. With increasing problems, violence entered my home, for the first time. This was my bottom. The police were called to my home on a few occassions during the last week I was drinking. I was not the only one in jeapordy. I put my whole family there. It ended with my 15 yr.old son assaulting me, my 3 children in foster care, and myself in detox. A week later the kids returned home with their dad, I was fortunate enough to enter a treatment program immediately after leaving detox, and returned home 4 weeks later. The past year has certainly been bumpy at times, but where I am now and where we are as a family, is so far beyond, where I ever thought possible. I look forward to each new day of growth, for myself and the family. Sobriety comes first, without this I would have nothing. If you or anyone else wishes to e-mail me my address is Kmartsh0pr@aol.com

I am so grateful to my Higher Power, AA and the wonderful people here at the coffeepot, thankyou all for your ESH. Praying for you {{Andy}}

luv Suzanne H.


Member: terry p
Location: long beach ca
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 17:13:31

Comments

Hi, everyone it is Terry P. Here at school I just took a preety hard test and wanted to see if GeT YOU guys at school Laurie home doing house work I think so iam doing my own typing . Sorry for the mess. Ireally needed to touch base thank you all talk to you later.love terry


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 17:30:15

Comments

Linda I've attempted to send you 3 messages, hopefully at least one got through. Let me know. Your pain,fear and downright tiredness concern me. And please please believe me, there is an Alanon group near you. Even though it may seem impossible to you, they have been where you are. They will know about that jumble of feelings that are weighing you down. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE. Linda I, and I'll bet, every other woman here are humbled and willing to be here for you, but it really isn't the same as having someone THERE. Let me know if my e-mail got through. You have no idea how much better life can be.


Member: John B
Location: So Cal
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 18:45:19

Comments

John B, alcoholic, 8+ years sober, absolutely new to online chat of any kind. Reading the last few days' worth of messages from y'all to all of us, this sure does sound like a meeting to me. Up to now my recovery has been in F2F meetings and service. Expect I will enjoy this expansion of opportunities to share ESH with other drunks like me. :-) Nothing to add to the discussion except: Glad to know you are here. I will keep coming back.


Member: Tom M
Location: SF Bay Area
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 19:34:05

Comments

Afternoon! Tom/alcoholic. Hope your days/nites are going well everyone. Had a rough stretch of days over the weekend, found some triggers I did'nt know I had. hmmm.. so now the F2f will be a daily requirement: I need it more than I was willing to admit. Thankfully did'nt drink,but it was one hell of a warning shot. Andy: Hope yer checking in here..we all miss you and the airwaves are crowded with prayers. Get yer ass back in here! :) Welcome Chris, Debra, James M, and happy birthday Lisa! Suzanne: I'll add the lil one to my prayers....She'll be fine,tho: Kids are pretty tough little suckers. A lot of relief and maybe feeling a bit foolish myself today: my "lump" is in fact a hernia, kinda funny the timing on Kims' note, then. I don't know how and when I did this to myself, and not sure I want too. Doc thinks I'm a lil whacky, I'm sure, 'cuz I just started busting up when he told me....Now that I'm not dying, guess I can get back to the business of recovery, huh? well, my first choice for a sponsor has his plate full, so back to lurking the rooms for another kindred spirit. I gotta gotta gotta get me a sponsor! Ok: If anyone is really interested in some background, I'll spill it: I'm what is termed a "binger": could go 2-3 weeks dry if I put my mind to it in the past (which was'nt very often). Worsened a depressive condition lots with it, to the point where if I was'nt suicidal, the qtys of Vodka I was downing sure were and would probably have taken away my choice in the matter. Always drank....at least from the age of nine or ten years, but abuse set in in my early twenties. 37 now, so I've been at it a while. Two dui; one a fatality crash, A few stays in county and in state programs, numerous lost jobs, the whole run of good fortune...never stayed sober thru any of it. this right here is the longest I've been sober since High school. Coming up on fifty days, I think. (try not to count for fear of jinxing myself). People were always talking about "hitting bottom"...I found several basement levels all on my own. this time I'm doing this for me, and that seems to be the only way. long ways to go and I'm barely on the path, but I'm hopeful for a change. Places like this help in between meetings and my group. It's a little added boost:) Hope that was brief and to the point enuf. Figured if I'm gonna be lurking around in here, you should know a bit about me, anyway. Gawd, that actually does feel good kinda! well thanks all for being here. Gotta get back to work. peace! Tom


Member: Tom M
Location: same place
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 19:43:11

Comments

hi: Tom/still a boozehound. Hey: just what is this 13th step? hehehe heard it a few times now and just wondering... Oh yeah; Tucker says hi! later all! Tom


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 20:52:57

Comments

Jodene: thank's for your attemp at email. sent you the correct address the second post. as yet have not recieved any mail. Yes,,,,I am very tired....tired and stressed just doesn't even cover the tip of how I feel. I know alon is a great idea. Unfortunately....not able to take advance of it at present. Currently here on the farm; having been taking care of three disabled people....(doing all housework, cooking, fetching, and in general keeping them comfortable)plus watching my 5 mo old grandson (who's been traminized) on a off/on basis, being woke up in the middle of the nite by police re: my l8yr. old daughter. Now I am having to pick up the slack with some of Andy's duties (started mowing about 3acres? with a electric push mower. When this is finished, must completed the goat pen that andy started and didn't finished. Neighbors are threating to shut goats for being on their property. If this all isn't enough I'm still recovery from surgury in Calif.(approx.2mos. ago) where I lost 9 pts of blood and almost died . Then had continued complications after arriving in Texas. all this doesn't even count the fact that I've already had a heart attack (at age 32) and a stroke at age 40. (I'm now 46) sorry for unloading on you.....my apologies....don't even have my own car to go to meetings if all the above didn't apply. Still no word from Andy...tho I know he is monitoring both his mail and coffee pot. He knows his brother is suppose to call from las vegas tonite to confirm his visit to us this weekend. What am I to tell him???? Know andy wouldn't want his brother to know his business; but don't want him to make that long trip for nothing. Thanks! for listening and being there...think I would have already cracked by now if it hadn't been for you and everyone else at coffee pot. Linda


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 22:05:17

Comments

Michelle alcoholic - To Chris L in WI - Your story reminds me of how I came about BELIEVING the first step of AA. I convinced myself that the only reason I couldn't drink was because of other people. They were the ones that got mad at me when I drank. My job was difficult when I drank because they expected too much of me. Cops were constantly following me and trying to catch me drinking and driving. It was all everyone else's fault until I finally ran out of people to blame it on. I really and truly believed that my drinking was ok, the problem was how other people responded to me when I drank. When I resorted to hiding liquor, and planning vacations out of state, and deceiving everyone around me about my drinking, and things were STILL going bad, I finally had to realize that it was me who had the problem, and anyone who was tying to stop me did so because they cared about me. The first time I got sober was to prove everyone wrong about their theory that my drinking caused it all. The joke was on me, because everything really WAS wrong because of my drinking. I know you might feel like you have a family of spies, but it's only because they care about you. I am sober today for me, and no one else. That way, if no one else is around I am still safe in my sobriety. Don't get me wrong, I didn't just pick up the big book and trust everything that was in it. I had to test each and every item myself to find out about my disease, and how progressive and fatal it was. Everyone has their own journey to recovery, but it all starts the same way- by not drinking just for today. Peace to all.


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.+
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 22:11:43

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Linda, I'll tell you what you tell the brother from Vagus, You tell him the truth. You cannot cover for Andy, you have to ALLOW him to be responsable for his own actions. As far as you are concerned, when you fall over dead, you are not going to be much help to anyone. Take care of yourself so you maybe able to take care of someone else. You have to be first.---- Tom after you have been sober for 5 years, we will explain 13 th step work. Right now you stay away from a drink one day at a time and you will get better in spite of yourself. I promise you that. Sanders


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talkladega,Al
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 22:33:08

Comments

Hello, my name is Ruby, a grateful recovered alcoholic, I am so grateful to be here. I don't know about you guies but it is phenomenally HOT here. It is dry,I have been praying for rain. Today it was100+ & index was 110. I water all my plants but they are dry,at any rate they are alive. I am trying to keep up with reading but with all other chores,obligations it is not possible. I read and enjoy so much and it is impossible for me to mention all the names but I will say God Bless all of you. This site &12/12,&discussion mtg are great. I am glad you are here Good night and God Bless All


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 24 Jun 1998
Time: 23:38:42

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. Well guys and gals, I just finished baking a lemon cake for a lady's birthday party for tomorrow. Our pffice staff like to trash the celebrity's desk, so that person's desk looks pretty messy right now. It is a long standing tradition that the birthday person gets this treatment. I am the only one that does not participate. When it comes around to my birthday, they are very sparing with the streamers and such because they know I am a neat freak. LOL

Suzanne-your story of your daughter was so touching. I have a granddaughter the same age who has been diagnosed with a brain tumor some months back. Just got word today her appt for the 2nd opinion was moved from mid July to the 1st week of august. She is so spunky, you would never imagine anything is wrong. Kids really know how to live in the moment don't they?; Kim, my prayers are with your little one. Guess we can all pray for each others children/grandchildren in the ensuing months for healing; Amy CG, truly loved the rendition of Celine's song. When that music is played on the radio, I always direct my thought to Jesus, and cry because I am so overwhelmed with gratitude. My husband just looks at me. Oh well. It is in my heart to worship the power that gave me life. Interesting how we are both drawn to that sound and have placed that significance on it. I believe it was written for the love of a father. My Father in heaven deserves those sentiments far greater than my natal one, if you know what I mean; Lisa, congrats on your 7 days, how is the sponsor hunting coming along?; Glen, so true about stats, I believe their contrived for a special reason, like for budgetary concerns for funding, LOL; Linda on the Farm, my heart goes out to you gal--how about hunting up some alanon live chat meetings on-line. An address you can locate yourself that Andy will not be privy to, so that you can have some down to earth, heartwrenching sharing that you sorely need, and get the immediate support so vital to helping you right now; Andy, I been there before also, believe me, it's better inside recovery than outside in chaos. Love you like a brother, we will save that seat for you buddy; Tom M, thanks for sharing your story with us. A lot of experience there that will help you distance yourself from that last drunk. No way with a story like that there could be any doubt that you have this disease of alcoholism, or that you belong with the rest of us in recovery;

Welcome to the new people to this site, and all others who gather here to share their ESH with the rest of us. Those peering in to see what we are about, jumb on in and say hi so we can get to know you.

Love to all, Linda P


Member: FAYLA G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 00:02:26

Comments

fayla ,alcoholic ,Sanders i havent went to court ,that will be next wed. yes i walked away from that woman with tears in my eyes ,i wanted to grab her and shake her and say thoes are my pepole your calling dopes ,ilove them ,as it was i went up to get shelly ,they paged me and said she was awake i could take her home ,when i got to the room shelly was sitting in a wheel chair and in the next bed was a little lady and who s sitting in a chair at the foot of her bed the lady who called us dopes,the nurse asked shelly if she wanted to lay down ,i said no she doesnt . she can lay down when she gets home ,and i know shelly she would have slept for hours ,leaving me and that woman togeather in that little room ,the nurse left and was gone along time ,i was getting very upset i pullwd the curtians around shelly and put her clothes on her ,she was still out of it ,i said shelly wake up were going home ,she said i cant mom ,they gave me too much sleepy medicine ,it was kind of funny now that i can look back at it.igot on the enter comm and asked how soon can i get shelly out of here,they came right in ,and we left .i wanted so bad to say ,come on my little dope lets go home. you know my smart mouth was always one of my problems ,and today i realy feel good that i didnt use it,and im learning ,sometimes the best thing i can say is nothing . thanks for all your suport guys i love you,you know us dopes half to stick togeather, god bless us one and all.FAYLA G


Member: Judy P.
Location: The Farm
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 00:05:42

Comments

Hi everyone.Judy here.I am Lindas sister.Have been reading the posts and want to thank you all so much for helping Linda so much.I know she is hurting so bad.I am trying to help her all I can in all ways.I went to Alonon myself for years.My ex husbund was a drunk.I finally had to help myself after several years of marriage.By then I was as sick or sicker then him.For anyone that wants to stay sober,I know this is the place to be.As for Andy I found out he has a long history of conning women.By the time they find out he is a con man he has already moved on to the next women.When he met my sister she had just had emergeny major surgry.He managed to move in with her in a few days.He had no car,job or money.When we talked her in to coming back to the farm,he came with.I gave him room and board,plus anything else he needed,to try to start fresh.I did not give him money because I felt he would buy booze.He has not worked near as hard as he says and his foot is fractred.He does not have a broke leg,the doctor said he should be fine in about three weeks.Although I am very mad at him,I would not make any of this up.I to have prayed about this.Also I know Linda will read it.I hope Andy reads this.I am sick of his lieing to everyone and using so many good women.Also for the women out there please be carefull.There are more Andys out there.If you have any reason to think they might be a con. make them show proof of what they say.If they really care about you and are honest,this should be no problem.No, I am not a man hater at all.There are a lot of real sweet guys out there.Men also beware because there are a lot of female Andys out there also.I will pray for Andy,but that is all I can do. Andy if you are reading this I am giving you 24 hours to pick up your belongings or at least call or come by.After that I will assume you are to chicken to face us and will not be returning.I will donate your belongings to the church.Also Andy,I will expect you to give my sister back her watch,diamond earing,and the money you took.Sorry you all had to hear this but it was the only way I could get it off my chest and hope he sees this.God bless you all


Member: mary w.
Location: kiss in ks
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 01:18:54

Comments

I had some free time, so what did I do? I checked the computer to see if I'd heard from you. I used to walk out to a box to retrieve mail But I'd rather get it instantly than wait on the snail... Checking my email and the coffee pot is always fun I usually get a joke or greeting from someone. I feel so connected because on the other end I know I've discovered a newfound friend. When I've had a hard day and need to share Here I can find a friend who will listen and care. And to this friend I hope I let know That I am always there for them also. Isn't it a strange kind of bond we form? It isn't exactly like the "norm" But where is it written, face to face we have to be For you to be a very good friend to me? That little joke, or note, or even just a simple "Hi" Could be like a ray of sunshine from the sky. So my online-pals , this is dedicated to you For all the smiles you have made anew May our friendship continue to grow and the warmth we feel continue to flow.

had to share this with all y'all.... and send your zucchini recieps to MWMOSTEST@aol.com


Member: John  B
Location: So Cal
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 01:20:20

Comments

My name is John, I'm an alcoholic. Back after some personal business a few miles from here. This reading is frustrating, because some people I want to hug and some people I want to hug even harder. Thanks for the honesty and sharing of your suffering, Tom and Linda and the continuing travails of Andy... and all who suffer. Allow ME to "qualify":27 yrs of blackout drinking,4 DUIs,couple of Drunk in Public arrests (they lock you up as "a danger to yourself or others") and I considered myself a functioning citizen! My only problem was I couldn't drink and drive. Rolled two vehicles, drove into a tree, rearended other cars, awoke some mornings to find new dents in the car and new bruises on my body. Anyway, 4th DUI got me 26 court-ordered meetings, and I guess I was finally ready. I'd had one meeting about 10 yrs earlier,where I heard nothing and continued my DAILY drinking. After about a dozen meetings on the court card, I came to a meeting one night after a weekend of heavy drinking and other substance abuse. At that meeting I don't know that anyone said anything new. What I heard, almost for the 1st time, was "one day at a time." Oh. I didn't have to quit for the rest of my life, or 30 days, or a year. You told me I only had to do it one day at a time. And you told me it was OK to do it one minute at a time, if I had to. And there were times in early recovery when I did it that way. That was Sept. 11 1989. Haven't had a drink or an illegal drug since. (Have to cop to prescription medication:heart & allergies) Tempting to take inventory of others here. Much easier than looking at John. But I hope to learn to trust you folks like I have learned to trust AAs at the F2F meetings. To the newly sober and people in trouble, AA works. If it's helped me stay sober, it can help anyone. You only need the desire to stop drinking. Believe that we believe. Now I'm beginning to sound like -- well, I think I sound preachy. Trust me: I'm a rather ordinary person, with wonderful and despicable qualities all wrapped up in the same skin. Think of a human burrito. Combination. That's me. Have I climbed off the virtual pulpit yet? I hope so. Looking forward to new AA friends all over the world. (Have been sober in the same place all this time) 'Til next time.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 01:52:48

Comments

Hello, everyone! This is Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic. Or, to borrow the phrasing of someone in my home group, "I'm an alcoholic who did a bunch of drugs, and Charlotte is my problem." And I am the problem for me. When I am honest with myself, if I'm upset/angry/resentful, it's usually because something is not going my way. And that is all too often a result of my own actions, reactions, or inaction. I was lovingly reminded by a friend tonight that in every situation I have to examine my part in it. Was I operating in God's will or on self-will? What were my motives? I must THINK...was what I said or did thoughtful, helpful, informative, necessary, kind? I didn't earn a chair in these rooms by being "the good guy", by living according to the will of God as I understood him then or now. I earned a chair in these rooms because I have the disease of alcoholism/addiction. And that disease is cunning, baffling, and powerful. It allows, requires me to live outside of Love. I thank God that by his grace I have the chance to learn to live inside Love. I thank God for this fellowship. And I thank this fellowship for allowing me to share.


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 03:07:46

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. John B, loved your share. Another one whose story tells a good tale of our disease and how it's effects our physical and mental facilities. Sounds like an alkie to me John, welcome to the site, along with the rest of those new, posting today for the first time, or those who have been around for awhile to numerous to mention.

Judy, I have mixed feelings about your post. I was not going to respond at first, but alas, I felt I must. Sharing all about what Andy did on this site I felt was wrong. Whatever depths he has plunged to in his disease is not a very pretty one. Most of us do not have wonderful experiences when we drink. The details of his failure I believe is up to him to talk about on this site, not you. I believe you were angry and emotional, and probably did not give it much thought before you posted. Your warning was appropriate if what you had to say was needed to save a another person from being used in a relationship with a person of such character. The details you shared here would have been better revealed with an alanon sponsor, not here on the AA web site. I personally feel our site was used to a nasty purpose, and for that I feel sad. An alanon setting would have been better, or even your sponsor, but not this site. We gave support to Linda on the Farm because she needed it. With your experience in Alanon, you should know that contemptuous behavior towards the alcoholic does not heed in the recovery process. If you have a BB, I suggest you read the Chapter to the Wives. I believe you owe us an amends. That is of course up to you. It was a tragic thing which happened to your loved one in this situation, but one needs to look at themselves and be honest about how much of this was brought on by personal choices of enabling practices which placed you both in a position to be hurt. Can you honestly say this predicament is all one person's fault? I am blunt, you and Linda both have choices you are responsible to take. Do not use this site to harm another person please.

Respectfully stated, and no anger involved. Just a concern over what is going on here.

Linda P (Traveler)


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 03:21:59

Comments

Debra D Alcoholic

Kerry and David. I did 13 step norm!

He wasen't an easy catch either

Love Debra.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 03:30:24

Comments

Me again! Sorry for writing twice but I forgot to tell you that this afternoon Norm was mowing the lawn and filling the lawnmower with gas out of this yogurt containter. The nextdoor neighbours cat snuck over and took some licks out of the container, did donughts in the front yard and then just dropped!!

Whats that you say? Did he Die?

No he just ran out of gas.

Ha!Ha! God Bless and G-nite


Member: Judy P
Location: The Farm
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 04:30:05

Comments

Judy again..You were right,I should not have put andys shortcomings on this site.For that I am deeply sorry.Do you also forgive past co-dependents? Although I try to do the right thing,my one of my faults I have to work on is I get very angry when someone hurts someone I love.So,I run on pure emotion.I guess I need to work on that co-dependence some more.I really was sincere in the warning about con.men.Con men are not always Alcoholics and I have seen so many men and women get sucked in to this,because they really come off so honest and nice.No matter what chat line you are on, or anyplace else this can happen.Thank you for answering my post so that I could try to make amends.Linda is a very caring person and has really been touched by all your posts for her and Andy.She does really care about him.Please do not let this be a reflection on her.In the future I will try harder to think before I react.My prayers are with all of you.Please pray for me that I can learn to be more understanding.


Member: Linda P
Location: CA, USA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 05:26:21

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. Thanks so much Judy for getting back to us here on this site. I appreciate the amends to this group. My heart feels a great lift of burden by your gesture. I had succumbed to a relapse once, and like most alcoholics I tore through the lives of many nice folks. None of us are without our flaws, and I am sure I am no exception. In sobriety is where I developed a conscience, and the steps helped deal with the wreckage. Others who feel helpless in their disparate hours battling alcohol, can maybe look forward to a new tomorrow, filled with the promise of better things to come, once the bottle has been laid to rest. Once in a while I go half cocked myself Judy, usually though I do it when no one is looking. LOL. Again, I for one am relieved this will not be a bone of contension between us. In the spirit of love and service, thanks.

Love to all who visit here. Linda P.


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 05:32:21

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. Pat Z, thanks for helping me this evening. I'm off to bed to get a good nights sleep. The storm has passed. Thanks for being there to listen.

With Love, Linda P


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 06:33:02

Comments

Good morning everyone,

Just checking in to say hello and that I have enjoyed reading the posts, thought I must say it is getting harder to keep everyone straight with their stories -- it's a good thing to see so many active AA members.

Andy --- if you are around, we care about you and want to see you back.No matter what you have done or where you are in your affair with alcohol, there is always another chance at a new beginning --- each day. It's up to you. And, God loves you and I believe He weeps over you.


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 08:55:23

Comments

Good Morning - my name is Suzanne and I am an alcoholic.

Judy and Linda P. - I would like to thank you both for your comments. I had been having a hard time understanding my feelings concerning the posts here the last few days.

To Andy and everyone at the farm - you are in my thoughts and prayers.

luv Suzanne


Member: Gina.A
Location: Torr, Ct
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:13:48

Comments

Hi I am Gina ,,And I am an alcoholic,,,Though I am having a hard time accepting that fact... I have had about 2 weeks without a drink..I have been to meetings.I did have 6 years without a drink.. And have been on a guilt trip about my relapse...It is very hard to deal with... Thank... Gina.A


Member: Gina.A
Location: Torr, Ct
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:15:07

Comments

Hi I am Gina ,,And I am an alcoholic,,,Though I am having a hard time accepting that fact... I have had about 2 weeks without a drink..I have been to meetings.I did have 6 years without a drink.. And have been on a guilt trip about my relapse...It is very hard to deal with... Thank... Gina.A


Member: Charlie M.
Location: Chipley , Fl
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:52:30

Comments

Charlie here,alcoholic, I haven't posted anything for the last week and believe me I have missed the chats with you. I have this problem with auther and he has just about put me down. He has become a lot stronger than me. I didn't help matters either by pulling weeds up out on the worm farm. My wife told me not to complain about my aches around her because I was stupid and asked for it. I was able to make it to the prison last nite though and we had a very good meeting. It is such a blessing see it becoming clear just what is wrong with them. We talked about the 4th step and some of them were in tears before it was over. We [sponsors] were able to keep them talking about the 4th colum of the step and some them admitted stoped blaming others and took a look at themselves. I always come home from there feeling great.[other than my bones that is] They even presented us with beautiful trophies so now I have the problem with my EGO. Maybe it will be easy though because I am aware of it. I've been reading some of the posts and it is really a blessing to see everyone jump to someones aid when he needs it.I love to hear the good things in your sobriety also. I know that I could sit here the rest of the day telling you all my good things, on second thought,it would take longer than that because I'm a very slow typer. Thanks to all of you for being here for me and I only hope and pray I can be there for someone else. Love you all, Charlie M.,from Chipley Fl. P.S, Sanders, I will try and be in Maarianna tonite.


Member: Charlie M.
Location: Chipley , Fl
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:53:47

Comments

Charlie here,alcoholic, I haven't posted anything for the last week and believe me I have missed the chats with you. I have this problem with auther and he has just about put me down. He has become a lot stronger than me. I didn't help matters either by pulling weeds up out on the worm farm. My wife told me not to complain about my aches around her because I was stupid and asked for it. I was able to make it to the prison last nite though and we had a very good meeting. It is such a blessing see it becoming clear just what is wrong with them. We talked about the 4th step and some of them were in tears before it was over. We [sponsors] were able to keep them talking about the 4th colum of the step and some them admitted stoped blaming others and took a look at themselves. I always come home from there feeling great.[other than my bones that is] They even presented us with beautiful trophies so now I have the problem with my EGO. Maybe it will be easy though because I am aware of it. I've been reading some of the posts and it is really a blessing to see everyone jump to someones aid when he needs it.I love to hear the good things in your sobriety also. I know that I could sit here the rest of the day telling you all my good things, on second thought,it would take longer than that because I'm a very slow typer. Thanks to all of you for being here for me and I only hope and pray I can be there for someone else. Love you all, Charlie M.,from Chipley Fl. P.S, Sanders, I will try and be in Maarianna tonite.


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:57:31

Comments

Linda on the farm here....Good Morning all...Feeling better this a.m. due to a good nites sleep. This shall probrally be my last post to you good people. I have imposed enough on you all already. Shall attempt to find a alon site on line to continue the support I desparetly need. My apologies for my sister Judy's interference and post. She is a caring person and loves me and always trying to protect me. Even tho I am a couple years older than her, educated and mature for my age...I lack the street smarts. Very nieve(sp) about men since I have been married from the time I was 16 til my husband died when I was 40. Guess I shall have to do some very fast wising up. Thanks again for all your support...can't tell you how very much it means to me and has helped. You all will be in my daily prayers. Have a good life. Love, Linda


Member: Linda
Location: on the farm
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 09:59:03

Comments

Linda on the farm here....Good Morning all...Feeling better this a.m. due to a good nites sleep. This shall probrally be my last post to you good people. I have imposed enough on you all already. Shall attempt to find a alon site on line to continue the support I desparetly need. My apologies for my sister Judy's interference and post. She is a caring person and loves me and always trying to protect me. Even tho I am a couple years older than her, educated and mature for my age...I lack the street smarts. Very nieve(sp) about men since I have been married from the time I was 16 til my husband died when I was 40. Guess I shall have to do some very fast wising up. Thanks again for all your support...can't tell you how very much it means to me and has helped. You all will be in my daily prayers. Have a good life. Love, Linda


Member: Charlie M.
Location: Chipley, Fl
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 10:02:47

Comments

OOPS, sorry, I must have clicked twice.


Member: Glen H
Location:
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 10:26:22

Comments

Linda, here's some Al-Anon pages:

http://www.keytoharmony.org/

http://www.Al-Anon-Alateen.org/

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

http://webchat13.wbs.net/webchat3.so?cmd=cmd_doorway:alt.recovery.alanon


Member: fayla     g
Location: galena    ks
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 10:33:54

Comments

fayla alcoholic,Mary that was so neat and heart warming,thanks for throwing sunshine our way. the pepole at my ftf are in a power play ,i gess thats what you call it ,one thing ive never felt right about,the same person chairs the meetings ,like every wed. dave chairs and saturday dixie chairs the meeting,and last night was almost a war.someone wrote on the blackboard bussness meeting fri.members only ,it was put there by these 2 girls who would like for god to let go and let them,i think . i am just watching them all im staying out of there little games ,some even have speical chairs ,one night my friend katy sat down beside me in a empty chair ,and a guy said thats larrys chair , katy said im just going to talk to fayla a minute then ill get up, i was pretty upset ,i saw katy that fri. at the womens meeting ,i said katy dont you ever get out of an empty chair ,like that agin please ,they would half to remove me by force ,i believe and i will always believe no one has there own chair in an aa meeting ,and every one who walks threw that door should be given the chance to chair a meeting . im sure god will take care of it and ,i will keep trying to mind my own bussness . love and prayers fayla g


Member: Glen H
Location: Denton, TX
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 10:40:59

Comments

Thanks Fayla. That's my biggest problem, STAYING on my side of the street. I jump at the bait put out by others far too often. It's people like you who help me remember.


Member: Bitsey
Location: CA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 11:44:19

Comments

bITSEY AND i AM AN ALCHOHALIC. i NEEDED TO CHECK IN HERE. i HAVE BEEN RUNNING ON FEAR, RESENTMENT, ANGER FRUSTRATION THIS WEEK. I am sober today. I made to a meeting last night. the first one noone showed up so I sat in my car and read. Then decided to go to the step study at a place I don't really like going. I got the serenity prayer the preamble all the begginning stuff and I GOT FED. I had to leave to pick my kids up but I made contact. A step to get out of my isolation I have been feeling this week. So hi.


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 11:58:42

Comments

Hey friends, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. I have had a beautiful, sober day. I spent the aternoon with the 4 year old twins that I "nannied" from the age of 16 months 'til this past Jan. and their lovely mom. The twins (girls) at first were shy but by the time we walked around the lake for and hour then went for ice cream they were all over me, God I love children. It was also nice to see how much English they understand as I was their "teacher" and so many folk made fun that I could not possibly teach babies English but by gosh I did, their minds are like sponges, huh Kim D and Lori? By the way Kim I liked the Barney song, havn't heard it in forever. Linda P., thank you for addressing a situation that had me fretting all day, see this site has become very important to me too and I had no idea how to say anything so I just kept my mouth shut which is not so easy for me. Terry I hope you did well on that test, great that you visited us for ES&H when you needed it. To all those who had me in your prayers yesterday as I went to the drs. office, thanks. As my good friend Sanders says, God is still in the business of answering prayers and I am very thankful, I am doing better. Jodine the story of your dog "leaning" on the furniture made me LOL, my cat is allowed to sit on my chest but not my husbands (usually), last night he called the cat to his chest and the cat (Lewis) SLOWLY crept up with his front paws but kept his back 2 and bottom standing, cracked me up. Well I hope you all have a great day, its almost nite here...Thanks for letting me share, Love to AAll, Swiss Mrs.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 12:22:08

Comments

I'm David a recovered alcoholic.

Glen,I sometimes envision myself as a ball on a pool table. Calmly sitting there minding my own business, enjoying the "lawn" before me. All of a sudden I get hit by another ball and all conscious thought stops. By the time I come to rest I have bounced off four rails and created more havoc than a herd of runaway Mustangs (pretty good, huh Doris). Sometimes now I'm able to sit on the rail of that virtual pool table and watch the show. I don't let my legs dangle over the rail though, you never know when one of the oddballs(like me) is going to zoom along and cut your legs off at the knees just because he figures you are in the field of play. But then of course he/she is in that zone where all conscious thought has ceased and he is merely reacting. It is really dangerous when someone places a drink in front of a member in that zone. Our conscious contact keeps us sober, When all conscious thought stops,,,,it gets way ugly. Heres to living in the now with the steps.

Debra, please keep sharing here!!! Sometimes we need the levity. We tend to get as serious as a heart attack.

I am writing a new chat page. We should all be able to have some fun there. I will get back to all ya'all with the URL when I finish.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 12:29:29

Comments

SANDERS: I loved your reply to the 13th Step question! As to that complex choice of taking the risk of being hurt in order to receive the strokes/fellowship/whatever we need, that can be a delima(sp). Losing our expectations of what another person's behavior is going to be, or should be, now there's a topic for a meeting..........LINDA onthefarm & JUDY:too much in my heart for here. I do pray that you both feel God's protective and loving arms around you......FAYLA:That's a disturbing story. It reminds me of when a friend of my sister went to treatment in another town. After a bit, I asked my sister how her friend was doing. "Oh, she's doing great. She's at a women's half-way house and going to meetings in that town." Then my sister(who had totally refused any other exposure to the program)said"She's doing so great she's even been elected president of her AA group!". Sigh. Of course I explained to my sister that not even Bill Wilson was president of AA. But aren't we just the most grandiose folks?...........TOM M in SF,say Hi to my x and his pardner(just kidding).Since the man you asked to be your sponsor had "a full plate", did he not suggest someone (like one of his sponsorees)who would qualify to be at least a temporary sponsor for you? Hang in there buddy..........Did ya hear about the pigeon who confronted her sponsor after a meeting on prayer? The pigeon heatedly told her sponsor"All this talk about God! I've been praying to God and so far He hasn't given me one darn thing I've asked for!". Her sponsor replied "That may be your problem. Have you tried praying for others?". That night the pigeon hartily prayed "Dear Lord, please make my next-door neighbors the Smiths happy, joyous and free. And Dear Lord please bless them with a neighbor on the east side of them who is millionare." LOL!


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 12:45:46

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders To Judy and Linda on the farm, my heart goes out to you and wish I could help but you are way out of my field of expertise(alcohol damge to me) so all I can really offer you is again to suggest Alonon which you have already said you mwere seeking. Glen is our address suplier and as usual has come through with several for you both. I wish you both well and know that I have come to love you through hurting with you. Good luck and God bless. ------ To you Andy, If you are reading and I have a good feeling you are, I will try my best to not be judgemental and want you to know that IF you are an alcoholic and continue to drink, you will either die or be incarserated. You know this so it is really pointless to say it except maybe you have forgotten. We do love you and want you back. If you want to write me privately my address is sanders@wfeca.net get in touch and lets talk before it is too late for you to get back. Good luck and God bless. Sanders


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 12:53:02

Comments

Goodmorning!!! Kim D here, ALCOHOLIC/ADDICT There are some things I feel I need to share with you this morning. It was less than a week ago that I found you all here at the "Coffee Pot" and WOW what a week it has been. So much love, sharing and recovery on these pages. So much of what has been shared has touched me and reminded me more vividly than anything has in a while, of who I am (An Alcoholic) and where I belong (in AA). I am thanking my HP for you Daily. I've been sober since July 12, 1995, so almost 3 years. In the beginning, I went to two meetings a day. One at 8AM and one at 8PM. After about 4 months I went to the 8AM meeting only. I had been a blackout drinker since I was 15years old and for the last several years of my drinking I was starting first thing in the AM with a drink(and a few pills thrown in when I had them), so I needed a new way to start my days off in sobriety. My morning meetings gave me the strength and hope to make the day, sober. Since moving to Florida, I have not had access to any AM meetings, so I have increased my prayer and meditations every morning. The small f2f meetings and P&M are a must, now the "Coffee Pots" first thing every morning is giving me the added the spiritual depth that only WE can have together. I am humbled by our God, who has given us to one another to do his will. You are all in my prayers and on my gratitude list. Thanks for letting me share. Hugs, Kim D


Member: Steve D
Location: NJ
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 12:59:38

Comments

Hi everybody, I'm Steve a grateful alcoholic.

I was away on business yesterday at the Drake Swissotel in NYC (where they had the food poisoning the day before, sorry Amy) and couldn't log on from there (no laptop). As I've said before, it does me good to read the posts because it puts my own "problems" into proper perspective. My heart goes out to Linda and Judy. I can relate to what they're going through because my sister went through similar situations. I can also understand Judy's post, a sister trying to help her older sister, someone who I can bet helped her younger sister throughout her life...Andy, your choice as to what to do next. AA works because in it we find unconditional acceptance. A saying I remember: "God (you can substitute your HP of choice") loved us (drunks) not because we deserved it, but because we needed it". Come back when you're through....I had 30 days yesterday in my life back in AA. Feels good but I need to remember to stay sober just for today and the days will take care of themselves...Got to run, today's my younger daughter's 8th birthday and she is having a party for all her little friends. My heart goes out to the authors of the previous posts (sorry can't remember and don't have time now to go look, but will tomorrow)about their children with medical problems...

Thanks and bye...Steve


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 13:06:18

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders To Judy and Linda on the farm, my heart goes out to you and wish I could help but you are way out of my field of expertise(alcohol damge to me) so all I can really offer you is again to suggest Alonon which you have already said you mwere seeking. Glen is our address suplier and as usual has come through with several for you both. I wish you both well and know that I have come to love you through hurting with you. Good luck and God bless. ------ To you Andy, If you are reading and I have a good feeling you are, I will try my best to not be judgemental and want you to know that IF you are an alcoholic and continue to drink, you will either die or be incarserated. You know this so it is really pointless to say it except maybe you have forgotten. We do love you and want you back. If you want to write me privately my address is sanders@wfeca.net get in touch and lets talk before it is too late for you to get back. Good luck and God bless. Sanders


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 13:46:16

Comments

Kerry/alcoholic. Fayla, reading your post reminded me just how much of a creature of habit I can be. At the bars I used to drink in, I always sat in the same chair, usually where I could watch the door so that nobody could sneak up on me. When I got sober, I would find a chair in the meeting that I felt comfortable in, and would always sit there. Now, come to think of it, there is a parking spot in front of our store that I always park in!!! I justified the chair in the meeting by saying that at least my friends could find me fast (it was a large room) if they were looking for me. It really is funny, you know. Now, I know that I should change my ways as far as that particular chair, or that particular parking space, but I don't want to give either of them up. So I won't. Maybe when I'm sober 25 years (a day at a time, of course) I will change that part of me, maybe sooner. Anyway, I can relate to those that choose their chairs, but I agree with you and everyone else about just the same people all the time "HOGGING" the service work, chairing the meetings etc. I have run into it alot over the years, and praying about it is always good, but I'm afraid that if I were there I would tell those folks to "MOVE OVER" and let someone else do it. Nobody is so important that they deserve to keep others from participating in different areas of the meetings. If anything, speaking up will give everyone the opportunity to work their programs. Enough out of me. Debra - you devil!! Thanks for being here everyone, I love you all. Kerry


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 14:45:20

Comments

Hi Terry & Laurie here. Good morning. I'm not sure how I did on the test yesterday but I do know that being able to check in with you guys certainly helped. Glen thank-you for your quick response to Linda on the farm for the Alanon meetings online. That's what I really enjoy about A.A. is seeing how people help one another, I know it never happened when I was out there still drinking. Thank God I don't have to worry about it today. Lots of love to all. Next week's my summer vacation from school, and I'll probably be here a lot. Have a nice sober day. Laurie's typing again. Can you tell? Perfectionist. Love, Terry & Laurie


Member: Charlie  M
Location: Chipley, Fl
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 15:08:52

Comments

Charlie here, alcoholic, I've heard a lot about thier group being infested with members trying to take charge and I would like to share an expereance I had. First let me say I had been in and out for 17 years before I came back this last time, some 6+ years ago and I thought I knew everything to know about AA. There were 2 members that made all the decissions, opened tho doors, and picked who they wanted to chair[after telling them what the topic would be] and after about 3 months Mr. AA here tried to change things. This caused such a big problem within the group that I am surprised the group survived. I had even said "I WOULD RESIGN AND FORM ANOTHER GROUP' and no one would be in charge. My sponsor , from another group, really had his hands full and told me to go to another group but first I had to deal with my anger or else I would drink again. He also told me that I was trying to take charge and if he were a member of the group he would stop me "dead in my tracks." He also told me that the group as a whole should handle it ant to ask for a group concious meeting and suggest a group a group inventory. This was done and when it was over I had been put in my " proper place" and the gurus realized they had just lost "control" of the group and moved thier membership. One even moved to another town and started a new group. My sponsor made me start sitting beside him so he could tell me to "shut up" when I gkot out of line and for that I will be forever grateful. Now I can say that no won is in charge and no one has chairs reserved for them. Time to shut up Charlie, you've rambeled too long already. Love you all, Charlie M from Chipley Fl


Member: Suzanne H.
Location: Ontario Canada
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 15:41:55

Comments

Hi, Suzanne, alcoholic. Ok, all the grades are in! All 3 kids have passed. I am so proud of them, especially my two oldest. This year was a struggle for them, but with the efforts they made, they did it! I've been real busy today, tonight is my son's grade school graduation ceremony. Steve enjoy your daughters party!

luv Suzanne.


Member: Richard
Location: West coast
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 15:51:28

Comments

Hey ya'all, Richard in the hoouussse! I know everyone must have just missed me with all his or her heart. He,he,he;) On with the fun stuff!!! I had a wonderful trip. We traveled down into California visiting some pretty interesting historical sites, and hitting a meeting. It was nice, and well they were a bunch of alcoholics!! So, I loved them all. Then, we went over to Nevada on T-day visiting their sin cities, but I only lost $1.50. Gambling seems silly and illogical to me. I guess that is how my dad feels about alcoholism. LOL The house always wins even when you win. That sucks!! He,he. But, I love the buffets. he,he,he. And, I like the freebies used to target the gamblers and drunks like the shrimp cocktails. Those are non-alcoholic, right!!! He,he,he.

AnYwAy, I had a great time. Thanks Kitty, (your welcome) kissy, kissy. Oh, sorry got carried away.

David, I didn't run until Tuesday. Great controlled training, right??? LOL Well, it was a hard run. I felt very heavy. I think it was the NY steak that I ate on Father's Day. Beef is a Yang food. But, on top of that I think eating mammals drains and affects the movement of our energy (chi): they are hard to digest. Anyway, I hope the cow excepted my thanks. I do not think I'd be so excepting in such a situation. Ha,ha,ha. I probably will not eat it again for several months. It makes me feel kind of guilty.

Well, someone told me that gossip is one of the active forms that resentments take. I hope that anyone who had a resentment towards me is over it!!

Glenn, how's jrr doing???

To those of you who poked fun at me in jest after I left, I loved it, thanks. He,he,he…LOL. Loved the one telling my girlfriend to run for her life.... Ha,ha,haaaa!! She says she may just do that. She is usually running, but I'm always chasing her into that part of the house. Ha,ha,ha. Boy, it sure is nice to be with a woman with a Black Belt. It makes it so nice when they have the confidence, and I do not feel the neeed to stick up for them. Besides they get PISSED off when I do. Ha,ha,ha,ha. They want to kick my but, so I just say you go girl.

Dennis, I truly admirer your openness to allow different views to coexists with yours, and your since of duty in defending the rights of other people even if it is me. That is pretty enlightened considering the world in which we live. I am a fellow comrade of yours it would seem, but do not worry I'll tell no one!!! And, you can write a nasty post politically distancing yourself from me with no hard feelings. I know how it is. LOL ;)

Sick Of You, I mean Me. I love ya!! I do love having the last word. Just kiddin… ...not really.... But, if I didn't who would??? So why can't it be me. ME, me,me. Oh, I meant, he,he,he. Freudian slip I guess. REALLY, I'm sorry I make ya sick, but please do not get addicted to me like ya did alcohol! It made ya sickk to, right?? I'm very addictive, but you already know that. Ha,ha,ha. Guess you do not find me intoxicating though. He,he,he. You are not alone. All I can say is stick around and maybe I'll grow on you. That is not a guarantee heck it's probably not even probable. But, positive thinking can help in these situations.

Doris, I want to be your neighbor!! LOL You seem to understand that Golden Rule.

Finally, I'd like to say that I love all alcoholics. You know in a brotherly/sisterly kind of way: silly! Even when I do not like them, I care about them. And, I hope for the best things for all of them. And, if you're alcoholic that means you: like it or not.

Read ya later alligators!!!


Member: Bridget L.
Location: Pittsburgh, Pa
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 15:55:30

Comments

Hi, Bridget, alcoholic and addict. This is my first time at the site and I love it. Thanks to everyone who has shared. I go to a boarding school in Montana (my home town is Pittsburgh) so I don't get to very many meetings, but when I am home, I go to tons. They are what keep me sober when I don't have twenty adults watching out for me every minute. AA has given me a life and for that I am forever grateful. Gratitude is what makes me tick. Love life and stay sober. Bridget.


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 16:15:12

Comments

GINA IN CT:Welcome back! You know it takes what it takes. For that reason alone I can be greatful for my (please,God!)last drunk. You know the guilt won't get you anywhere. Have you gone back to meetings? Got a sponsor? Doin' those things that got you sober in the first place? You go girl.....CHARLIE M: You know the requirements to form an AA group don't you?--A resentment and a coffee pot....Sounds like you have a great sponsor.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 18:31:43

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

Glad you're back Sundance. Levity may have returned!!!! If you can navigate the archives sufficently to find my E-mail address, use it.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Tom M
Location: SF
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 20:13:02

Comments

hi: Tom, alcoholic. Hahahaha set myself up for that one, Sanders. I'll hold ya to that in 4+years! I'm trying to hold on to the basics here as much as my addled lil brain will allow. Thanx all! gotta run....Tom and Tucker


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 21:53:41

Comments

Helo everyone. Debra D alcoholic here. Last night I went to bed at 1:30 after spending the evening with you all (Im addicted to this now)and I got to thinking about the people still drinking and the people newly sober that I have heard talk and herd talked about here. I have had 9 1/2 years continuous sobriety drug free and I have been through many things in that time. I want to say that just because you FEEL like drinking or are THINKING about drinking does not mean you have to! What a concept. I always went on impulse. Not anymore. If I did half the stuff I think of I would be in prison (Ha!Ha!) Its Commitment. I am sober no matter what. Easy to say I know. When you feel like drinking you don't think clearly but call someone and keep talking go to meetings and read and pray. The FEELING will pass. I guaranttee it! Twice in my sobriety I thought I would drink but I found out (because I hung on and just didn't drink) that I was being dishonest with myself. You know, I don't always FEEL love for my husband day after day after day after day (Ha!Ha!) But you know I don't leave him just because for an afternoon or a week I don't feel the love. For a woman who drank every day and never stayed with a man for more than a month (and there were many one monthers) these commitments are realy something and I thank God for the strength. Thanks David B for getting the humor. I truly love talking to you guys/gals.

Lots of Love Debra D


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 23:06:49

Comments

Charlie, you are right, the group as a whole should handle everything in a meeting. Unforturneatly, a lot of us sober people fear confrontation. I do not fear it, nor do I crave it. I should have mentioned the group conscience. You can't have a group conscience unless you SPEAK UP and ask for one. Your sponser was right, no one runs the show, not even the one's who don't like the one's trying to run the show. So there!! I hope I have clarified what I was trying to say. I have never, never kicked anyone out of "my chair", I always made sure I got there before anyone else could take it. HA HA! I just thought it was funny how "habitual" I can still be. And I know others that did the same thing in my home group. We like those familiar surroundings I guess. My sponser told me "There are no more big deals" , how true!! Compared to drinking and using, sobriety can be a breeze Sometimes. Not all the time, but then I wouldn't have anything to be grateful for, would I. Take it easy (Easy Doe It) everyone.


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 23:14:23

Comments

Uh, that's EASY DOES IT!!!

Sounded like I've been hanging with the wild life up here too much. By the way, anyone see the film clip of the Moose and her calf that wandered into town here a few days back. My brother said they showed it on the news in LA.

Dave and the kid's are out fishing AGAIN!! What a life!!!

Sanders: You handsome devil!! Great picture, thanks. It's nice to actually see you.


Member: Christy R.
Location: Winchester, VA
Date: 25 Jun 1998
Time: 23:37:02

Comments

Wow! I'm Christy, new to the net. I found this place and it is great! I do F2F but I also spend lotsa time alone. Now I can have new friends! Let me qualify: 23 yrs drinking, 4DUIs, one of which killed my 8 yr old daughter, several nut huts and thank God for my 4 years of sobriety! Glad to meetya!


Member: Diane
Location: NW Hills, CT
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 00:01:44

Comments

Dear GINA in TORRINGTON CT,

My name is Diane. I'm a recovering alcoholic. My sobriety date is 4/11/98.

I haven't introduced myself to this group yet. I guess I feel shy about taking that first step, as the internet is all new to me.

When I read your note I knew I had to speak to you. And yet, I'm not sure what to say. Maybe if I just tell you what's in my heart... Gina, six years of recovery is wonderful! I pray to God that I can make it that far. It's only been 10 weeks for me and it's been the most difficult time of my life. Six years! Don't let go of that. Continue...! Do whatever you have to do to be able to continue... meetings, a new sponsor, support from those who love you. Reach out. You are not alone!

Gina, you're not starting over. A relapse can't take away all that sober time and all your hard work. A relapse only says "I'm human and I have weaknesses just like every other human being". And a relapse, with all it's accompanying emotions of guilt and embarassment and frustration, may result in your finding a new inner strength, even more positive than before, and one you never realized you were capable of.

I attend the Friday night AA meetings at The McCall Foundation from 8-9 p.m. in Torrington (I'm not from Torrington). If you haven't been there yet, please join us. If you don't want to attend in your area I can tell you about other meetings.

I'll be thinking about you with all good wishes. Take care Gina! Diane


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 00:50:17

Comments

Hi Terry & Laurie here. Welcome back Sundance. Gina welcome back. Welcome everybody new and "old",ha ha. It has occured to me that neither Laurie or I ever told you anything about either one of us, we just kind of butted in like good drunks. I'm not sure how to tell you about myself in less than 5 pages, but here goes, I picked up a drink very early on, got in trouble real early on, and lost the fight to drink at 19 and haven't had a drink or drug in 13 years. In my recovery I've continued to be a rebel without a couse, and have just started to settle down a little bit. I got a "B+" on my test. Now it's Laurie's turn, oh Know, she's the typist. I started drinking at the age of 18, stopped when I was 24. Doesn't seem like a long time, but I got into a lot of trouble in just a few years. I was in the Army some of that time. I've been sober since Sept. 23, 1984. I'm going through a really hard time right now, I've wanted to drink and die, I've been sticking real close to F2F meetings and the Coffeepot so I can "listen" to everyone's ES&H. I've never gone to so many meetings in my sobriety. Terry & I have been together for almost 14 years. We met in a half-way house on the East Coast. Thanks for listening. I have to stop now, my hands are shaking too much. Love, Terry & Laurie


Member: Ruby O.
Location: Talladega,Al
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 00:58:18

Comments

Hello, I am ruby a grateful recovered alcoholic, Christy, you touched me . I am so glad you are here and you want to be here. there is a lot of sobriety here and much love God Bless share it all Christy.


Member: Doris
Location: Pregon
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 01:03:10

Comments

Good evening, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic.Bridget, SO ! you go to a boarding school. I went to one on the reservation in So. Dakota and I loved it. My twin and I had a ball for our last two years of high school there at Holy Rosary Mission (now Red Cloud Indian School). I want to welcome you to the coffee pot. I also want to welcome Diane Fron Conneticut. Diane, WOW ! 10 weeks and your whole life to go, just like the rest of us. Isn't it wonderful being part of an organization that exists JUST to save your life? One more thing, I liked what you had to say about relapse. You show wisdom and compassion, there is never an excess of that around here. We can always use more. I just thought I would give you a Stepper update. The filly is GROWING LIKE A WEED. At birth she weighed about 85 lbs and was around 40 inches tall. She will be 1 month old on Friday and she is now 44 inches tall and weighs I think about 290 lbs. She's a tank. She has a big butt and can run like the wind. Her Registered name is Canyons Wild Rose. I decided to forego the Indian spelling this time, it is very complicated and I am a little tired of all the white folks at the show offices screwing it up. You should have seen what they did with Mac-Pia-Luta all those years. Any way I just wanted to tell you what my husband said. I have done all I can to sell the baby. That was our deal. Last Saturday my husband asked when I could wean Stepper and I said around 4 months and I hoped to have her sold by then. He looked at me and said" Don't you want to keep her long enough to see what she is going to look like?" SO ! If we end up keeping that filly it is not MY fault. You see, the problom is that we have only 2 stalls. So, if we keep her we'll have to build another one. ~ oh well ~ . Oh, one more thing. I had to milk Shunka and 4 other mares cause there is a orphan baby at a vets (a friend of mine) office and we are trying to save her. So, I have been running around P-Hill with a white carafe milking mares. So far they have all let me. I was taking a risk, a small one. I have milked horses before. Say a little prayer for the dun filly laying in the vets barn. She is so weak. Gota go my friends, Love to you all, Andy - - you too. Doris ps, nice to have you back Richard.


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 02:23:16

Comments

Hi, everybody!! This is Charlotte and I am a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. The Coffee Pot does just what every other AA meeting or gathering does...gives me just what I need! Even when I don't know what I need.

Richard -- Welcome home! You were missed. Your holiday sounds like a winner.

Christy, Gina, Diane and all others new to this site...welcome. Gina, please don't beat up on yourself any more! Diane, your words were wise and will undoubtedly be helpful to more than one here, posting or lurking. (Andy?) Christy, one of my sons attended boarding school in Tennessee this year. Loved it. And a daughter will begin at a school in Georgia this fall. She is really excited about going. Hope you like yours. Also, I lived in Pittsburgh many years ago...Highland Park area. Great city. At least I thought so.

Amy, in addition to ICQ, I also have a Yahoo (the search engine) Pager. When I get mail, it yodels!

Laurie, I will say a special prayer for you this night, praying for you by name. (Each night I try to include some AA friends in my prayers, by name, asking for God's will...which is always good...in their lives.)

David, the image of the pool table was great. Put me instead of you as the ball...and I fit. Thanks.

Sanders, Doris, Jodene, Fayla, Terry, and all others...I love you and thank you.

Living life, one day at a time...what a wonderful concept !


Member: Doris
Location: Oregon
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 02:39:11

Comments

OOPS! She doesn't weigh 290 lbs. She weighs 190lbs. If whe weighed 290 lbs we would be calling the Guinness folks. Sorry ~ Doris OH! I see I spelled Oregon wrong oo, what's wrong with me tonight? It must be another alcoholics brain fart. That is my excuse for everything these days.


Member: Richard "Sundance Kid"
Location: West Coast
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 02:47:47

Comments

Richard: Sundance is here. Yep, and I'm still an alcoholic too. Hows about you??? Maaan! I'm so tiered of my stomach keeping me awake at night. It feels like a big bubble invades my body a few hours after dinner, and I end up not sleeping until late into the night. I use to just be able to blame it on the fact that I'd drink a bottle of whiskey and maybe a six pack of beer. OK, OK maybe a few more but the amount is irrelevant after that first bottle of "on sale" whiskey. Now, today I still have the same stomach problems and I've been sober quite some time. I found out that many of the ancestors on my mommy's side had irritable bowls, and so now, I GUESS I've been blessed with another great attribute from that side of my family. See, if they didn't have irritable bowls they were alcoholics. It was inevitable that I'd get both. Ha,ha very funny!!! I can't really complain...…. well yes I can (freedom of speech). But, it seems a waist of energy. I did however acquire some useable gifts from the ancestors on my mom's side. I probably got my fighting spirit from them, for my grandfather was known for kicking butt at the local taverns. Ha,ha,ha.

Well, today was my first day as secretary of a meeting at my F2F home group. Lately I've been distancing myself from F2F meetings because I am attached to one group, and I've failed to establish any strong connections with any other groups. Now, I've been hitting meetings, but they have been irregular and exercises of isolation in-groups. My home group has only coed meetings, so stop trying to guess why. It has to do with ego and resentments. But, I had the opportunity last week to see myself in one of the crustier characters of which I thought I had nothing in common. See, I thought he was trying to intimidate me ever since I got sober, and I've always liked standing up to intimidation, and I have the bumps to prove it. I have just been waiting for him to try getting in my face, and it seemed that it was taking quite a while. But, maybe it was just his way of saying, "I like you." Who know??? But, we are not so much different. Well, we are in some ways, but we are both alcoholic and that is enough. Though I do not want to be his best buddy, I feel that now we have an understanding: you alkie, me too!! We have had several conversations, and the resentment is gone. With that resentment gone, several others disappeared as well, for those I'd resented seem to have changed. Maybe it was the prayer. I do not know. All I know is that I kind of feel comfortable again at my home group. So, it's back to being my H.P. humble servant. Yea right, but I try to be humble.

Read ya later alligators!!!

P.S. Hope all is well or at least better with our distraught members. Fayla how's the GED coming along??? Terry what test did ya get a B+ on??


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 02:52:27

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. Went to my home group today. Celebrated my 14th birthday with 3 others. Had a great time. The meeting topic was "freedom to be me." It was just wonderful.

Gina, hang in there. I had 5 yrs in 1984 when that happened to me. I empathize with the mounting confusion of intense feelings of guilt, shame and remorse. An old timer gave me some really good advise, that was to through away the bat I was clubing myself with, and to do something constructive, reread my BB from cover to cover. Things there that I read before and did not grasp because it was not of my experience then, would be found to be extremely important now, and would help me rebuild my foundation for a solid sobriety. She was right. Try it out. Let us know what you learn from the experience; Betsy, so glad to hear you are climbing out of isolation, very important for us alkies; David, looking forward to the live chat room for all of us to get together in. That would be just marvelous; Kim alcohol and pills were my combo speciality also, happy to report that is well behind me now; Richard, so happy to know your back, humor is such a wonderful thing, and you seemed to be truly blessed with it; Debra, your right about committeements being so important; Fayla, sure does spoil things when people operate out of ego; Kerry, I also believe service positons need to be rotated to allow others the opportunity for service. A service manual can be found at your local AA office that describes service work positions and qualifications to hold offices, and length of terms for each position. This may be of help to your group Fayla; Glen, thanks for those Alanon addresses; Linda & Judy on the Farm, may God bring a personal healing into both your lives; To Christy, Bridget, Terry & Laurie, Diane, welcome to our site. Hello to all others visiting or posting on this site. May the next 24 hours be a great one.

Love to all, Linda P


Member: Amy GC
Location: Switzerland
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 04:31:54

Comments

Hey friends, my name is Amy and I am an alcoholic. Steve say it ain't so, food poisoning in a Swisshotel! Well I have told you guys already how they like to save save save, haha. Charlotte I am glad my computer doesn't yodel. My cat Lewis turns his ears back and runs under the bed when we hear it on TV or so. Seriously I want to tell you guys something about yodeling, when I first moved here I liked it very much, the only cultural music I didn't need a translator to understand,hehe. We went to a yodeling evening fest in a near by town and a mens choir yodeled for 3 hours, It cracked me up how seriously these men took the yodeling, their brows pursed, sweat beading on their foreheads, their ‚slack jaws rotating left and right up and down all in unison, or harmony or melody, and my favorite part is when they are happy, one will make like a "yoo yooooo" high pitched dog-like cry (here's where I wish this computer could tape voice and I'd demonstrate) to warn of a coming avalanch, storm, etc. Sundance your talking about the buffets in Nevada made me smile, my man lights up at the sound of free shrimp coctails and 5.99 all you can eat buffets and steaks, he says we should go once just to eat eat eat and not gamble a dime, in this country you can't pick your toes for 5.99. Kerry I think you should retain your right to sit in your fav. chair and park in your fav. parking spot, hey if those are your only vices you are pretty clean in my book, Glen let me know if I'm mistaken there. Laurie you sound like such a sweet lady, please join in for ES&H when you are feeling down, hey I can relate to the shakey hands (and these days not from DT's but NERVES). Doris I did a double take when I read that we had a new Doris from Pregon in the group, hehe. Sanders you handsome devil! Hey how big (tall) are you anyway? My husband said to tell you that you cetainly look younger than the rest in the photo and twice as tall! Hey I can't poke fun I am also tall, if I would have grown up here the kids would have said "your head is like an alp hut, way up tall and hardly anything inside, nah nah!" (don't you like that one Suzanne?) Long enough, I wish you Aall a wonderfully sober weekend, we are going out of town so I'll be back on Monday. God Bless you and thanks for letting me share...Amy GC


Member: Martina G
Location: CT
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 06:03:02

Comments

Good morning everyone,

Gina and other new or back friends, welcome. Gina -- remember One Day at a Time. Yesterday is over.

Richard, when you mentioned freedom of speech (though jokingly), it made me think about a TV show I watched this week where a woman from China was jailed for a year, I think, because she spoke against her government's new dam project. As I watched this, I was amazed and reminded of how FREE we are in the USA and how much we take it for granted. I thought about her in that jail (not likely a coveted place to be) and looked around at my house and felt alot of gratitude for what I have. And to be sober to realize it !

Andy......

May the Lord bless you and keep you. May He lift up His countenance upon you. May He be gracious unto you and give you peace.

Have a great day and week end everyone.


Member: Pat Z.
Location: CA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 08:09:09

Comments

Good morning, I'm Pat Z., an alcoholic. I am trying hard to optomistic, but my health continues to go down. Been having a rough time in finding a physician to take over where the other doctor left off. Being in a wheel chair now for two, going on three years and not being to drive any more, is definitely getting to me. Seisures are starting back up as well as my M.S. is coming out of remission. I am constantly reminding myself that it's not the circumstances that drives my attitude, but my atitutude that helps me with my circumstances. I am so grateful that all of you are here! As I was reading all of your posts, I had both moments of happiness mixed with tears. ANDY>>> get yourself out of that pond full of Barley Corn; we care what happens to you. LINDA/ON THE FARM>>>my thoughts and prayers are now going up to our H.P. for you to be healthy, both physically and spiritually. Unfortunately, each one of us has "wreakage of our past". Alanon will start to help you to establish positive bounderies, allowing new attitudes and choices to come into your life. Be good to yourself!!

Welcome to all the newcomers, for you are new miricles to A.A.

BONNIE>>you are a wonder, remembering so much that has been written. Your posts are so special!!

MARY (FROM KS)>> just hearing about your garden makes me hungary for a good salad!! Zuccini is a special delight to many of us who enjoy vegetables!! Keep on growin good things!!

For all of you that have sick children... My prayers and thoughts are with both the chldren as well as with the parents. Kids seem to be able to bounce right back, while the parents are turned inside, out.

LINDA P>>>> sorry that I missed having dinner and cards. You are such a comfort that perhaps hubby might go out to catch more fish? Huh?LOL!!

It's 5:00 A.M. and been up reading your posts. I may be tired, but uplifted as well!! As I'm saying GOODNIGHT to all of you-- phases from many of your posts come to mind ! ! What a good way to go to sleep on...on good memories!!

Thank you for letting me share, Pat Z.


Member: Jim D.
Location: Canada
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:11:43

Comments

Jim, and still an alcoholic. Drat!

Just to let you know I haven't disappeared -- just fairly busy. Been a tough couple of weeks, back to basics on everything from the 12 steps to the 10 commandments. This sponsor relationship isn't the mosgt comfortable thing in the world, is it. Not sure I enjoy having somebody understand me that well.

Anyway, counting my blessings, and glad to see the familiar names here. ODAAT.


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:56:12

Comments

LAURIE>Hope you remember that you DON'T HAVE TO act on those 'feelings'. Am very concerned about you. Is there anything I/we can do?............LINDA P!>Happy Birthday! It's a wonder, isn't it?......DORIS>Hopes this finds that little dun filly doing better. How is she today?


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 10:57:54

Comments

Goodmorning Everyone, Kim D Alkie here, I hope everyone in the Coffee Pot has a great sober day. We're off to a good one down here in Florida. Hot, Dry, but Good. Today,I am busy getting my daughter(9 years old) ready for a trip to my sisters house in N. Carolina. This is her first airplane trip alone. So, I am happy and sad both, at the same time. She is just thrilled at the thought of doing something so "Grown-up". She'll have a blast up there with my sis and I'll have bit more rest. My little boy will still be here to keep thing interesting for me. My kids have turned out to be very surprising and interesting people to me, now that I am sober. Come to think of it I am a more surprising and interesting person to myself, now that I am sober. I didn't like myself very much when I was drinking (Huh, wonder why?), but, I needed everyone else to like me (more like worship me). An interesting paradox, when I sobered up I began to like myself more and care alot less what other people thought. My sponsor says "it's none of my business what anybody else thinks of me"!!! What a relief (Whooa) to take off that tiara. I must admit I still keep in the closet and try it on now and then, but someone (usually in AA) is always knocking the D--- thing off. An so it goes. Debra D, you are right on the money girl, about love and commitment. I really need to hear more about that right now. Gina, I'm glad you are here, I too will name you in my prayers. Chris L - I did repond to your e-mail, did you receive it? I will try again, now.

Hugs, Kim


Member: Jodene Alcoholic
Location: OKC
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 11:02:06

Comments

MICHELLE in CO>Where are you?...........R.S.V.P.


Member: Sanders
Location: Graceville, Fl
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 11:57:06

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. I will be off to see my Dr. in a short time as I am still having lots of back pain. Hope he can find the problem this time. It is much better than before but still far too much pain than normal aging process. I will not be back till late tonight as I will stop at my home group F2F on the way back, so I'll check in then------ Doris asked me about sending a picture of " Stepper" out to all Y'all (plural ) and I don't believe it can be done on the pot, so as an alternative to that, anyone who wants one of Stepper and her mother, if you will send me your Email address, I'll send you the pictures in a few days. I say a few days because I sent them down for my daughter, another horse lover big time, to se with the understanding I had to have them back. The few days will give you time to get me your addresses and for me to check them to make sure I get them correct. For those who want the pictures, send your address to sanders@wfeca.net ------- I gotta go now to get cleaned up for the Dr.appt. and I am moving very slow at present and takes a long time to shave and shower. I'll check in when i get back tonight. love to all Y'all, Sanders.----- PS Amy from the looks of your picture, you are tall and also very cold but you look vry happy and SOBER


Member: fayla  g
Location: galena  ks
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 12:27:00

Comments

fayla alcoholic ,hi everyone. Richard ,i put the ged aside agin ,iam going to half to get with it ,iget very upset with myself because of math iam 0 in math i can add and subtract and thats it my boyfreind has tryed to help me . i was born reading i could always read very well and i do pretty good in every thing but math .I AM praying for every one.pat my prayers and love too you dear lady ,i know God is holding your hand .Terry and Laurie have you ever heard of Johnnie Harris ? ive listened to his tapes alot ,they helped keep me sober lots of times .sorry you are having tough times laurie , love fayla g


Member: Sandburr                            
Location: GA (for time being)
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 13:13:39

Comments

Hi all, first time here. Saw some really good stuff. I'm Doug B (Sandburr) an alcoholic GRATEFUL to be recovering since '76. I won't have 'recovered' until I make it to my grave--SOBER! ODAT. Saw some controversy in some of the communications--good fodder for the 10th. Saw a great example (several) of the spirituality of the program at work-genuine caring for someone else. BBtells us alcoholism is a progressive disease--I like to think of recovery as a progressive reality.


Member: Sundance
Location: West Coast
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 13:54:21

Comments

Sundance:

Why ya'all think we get recovery over time???

Because we are the type of people that if we got it all at once, we'd would go out and celebrate!!!

Read ya later alligators!!!

P.S. The people who are in my life now, and knew me before I quit drinking (FEW: VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VERY, VEERY!!FEW) think that I've recovered, so I guess I've SEEMINGLY recovered from a hopeless state! At least the normies (though I believe they are extinct), or "productive non-twelvesteppers" think I have. Haven't been able to scam most of my fellow into believing it though. Ha,ha,haaa! Dooope!

David~ I went through two weeks, so thanks for the temple throbbing headache! Just kidin.. But, I couldn't continue the search.


Member: Jason
Location: Beirut
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 14:48:14

Comments

Hi all y'all! Jason the alcoholic back online after a couple of busy weeks-- still sober praise God... must be close to 5 months now. Sanders, hope you're not getting smoked out down there-- praying for rain. David and Kerry, the two of you are quite an inspiration! For all those whose pain and hurt I have read through during the last hour, I am praying for God's strength and comfort. For all those here providing love and support, thank you. Have a great weekend! Jim D. hang in there-- busy is good sometimes, but watch yourself in the lull afterwards...


Member: Ruby O
Location: Talladega,Al
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 17:08:29

Comments

Hello I am Ruby , a grateful recovered alcoholic; I am grateful for all that i learn here and thst his makes the web of mankind closer. Glenn... I sure appreciate you,when i am on chats i sure need Alanon addresses a lot, I could also use more AA chat addresses God bless all here and where they are trying to love eachother and themselves by ruby


Member: Doris H
Location: Springfield, Oregon
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 18:07:02

Comments

Good afternoon, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. I just have a minute and I wanted to tell Jodene, and the rest of you, the filly died this morning. She gave it her best shot but when a quarter horse weighs 50 lbs. at 3 weeks of age they don't have much of a chance.She was a little beauty. I want to say hello to Jason, in Beirut. I have missed your posts, I am so glad you are back and congratulations on your sobriety date. Hang in there my man, you're doin fine. Pat Z, my heart goes out to you. I will pray for you. You sound like you're trying hard and that is all any of us can do. God be with you Pat. Gotta go my friends, I DO love you all, Doris


Member: Laurie W
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 18:42:15

Comments

Hi Terry & Laurie again. Doris, it broke our hearts to hear about the filly. Laurie & I just wanted to say that we're sorry. Hello to everyone. Jodene, thanks it's been a real hard time for both of us and I wish I could remember that people care but sometimes it's real hard. I'm feeling that there is no hope that I will crawl out of this depression that I'm in. At 13 1/2 years sober I feel like I shouldn't be feeling this way. Suicidal on a daily basis. Wanting to drink, isn't there too much anymore. But I wish the other wasn't there either, I'm too chicken, at least Terry believes that one, I'm not sure that I do. Terry is going to school for Medical Assisting and doing great. First day of summer vacation, and we both feel lazy but we have gotten something's accomplished today. Welcome to those newer than us. We'll check back later. Love, Laurie & Terry


Member: Sandburr
Location: GA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 19:09:47

Comments

BEFORE SOBRIETY; Good morning God, this is Doug. I will be handling all my problems today, so I will not need your help. Have a good day.

AFTER SOBRIETY; Good morning Doug, this is God. I will be handling all your problems today, if you ask. I will not need your help. So, Have a good day!

Serenity Prayer II: GOD, give me the grace to accept with SERENITY the things that cannot be changed, COURAGE to change the things which should be changed, and the WISDOM to know the difference.


Member: Mary M.
Location: North Carolina
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 20:23:53

Comments

Hello everyone!! I'm Mary and I'm an alcoholic. I've been on vacation and really missed out on some good posts. I'm not caught up yet!!! Just a little story about my two sons and my adventure to Okracoke Island in the North Carolina Outer Banks. You can only reach it by ferry. I had to park beside the pickup filled with cases of liquor to stock the little ABC store on the island for 2 1/2 hours!!!!!! I just thought it a little strange. It was very entertaining to watch almost every person on that ferry walk up to the guy in the truck and ask him about his load. Then there was the couple in front of me drinking beer at 9:30 in the morning. At the end of the trip, I thanked God for my sobriety and for my life that I have back. Love, Mary Doris, sorry about the filly.


Member: Michelle
Location: CO
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 22:30:48

Comments

Michelle here alcoholic = Jodene, I sent you an email, sorry it's delayed. I'm vacationing mama here in CO and have been windsurfing, golfing, mtn biking, hiking, playing tennis and soaking up the rays. I get up at 6:00 am and don't stop until it's dark. I am blessed and trying not to feel guilty that I am able to be so active while others are in pain. Doris, I am sorry about the filly. Jim D. you are just about ready for some good times ahead, stay with it. Laurie and Terry hang in there, God remembers everyone, so glad you have each other. I have come to realize that when you feel the best is when you need to give the most- I will be praying for all those in need. Keep coming back it works, if you work it, cause your worth it. Michelle p.s. Hi to Amy, I'm a slacker at email,but will get better soon as the days get shorter.


Member: Linda P (Traveler)
Location: CA, USA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 22:39:33

Comments

Hi, Linda an alcoholic. Sure glad it's Friday, and payday to boot! Husband got back from his deep-sea fishing trip with some guys in the program and had a great time. Brought home about 14 pounds of fish of various types, mostly Rock Cod. Now what! I know nothing about cooking fish. Help, LOL. At least they were beheaded and fileted before he brought them home!!

Doug, I love your posting in reference to recovery being a progressive reality. Also the before and after sobriety statements. Real cute; Doris, so sorry to hear about the filly, that must have broke your heart. My prayers of comfort go out to you right now.

Pat Z, wow gal, we have known each other for a very long time. I have watched you come back from the throws of near death on more than one occasion. That is where God really has shown me his love and mercy, was in witnessing your healing, over and over. That part of the 3rd step prayer where it says, "take away my difficulties, that victory of them might may bear witness to those I would help of They Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life," well gal, you have awed me with your recovery, and have instilled hope in me when I was burdened and disparate in my own grief and sorrow. I will place you in my prayer journal gal, and we'll see when that prayer gets answered. Remember us doing that together? You taught me about answered prayer, and I am so grateful you have shown me the way of faith in a God I thought not possible. "Let not your heart be weary" Pat, for He is with you always.

Love to everyone here. Linda P


Member: Christy R.
Location: Winchester, VA
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 22:59:06

Comments

Christy,alcoholic here. Doris, sorry about the filly. Maybe my little girl is riding her now. Becca loved horses. Sorry for the mis-communication. I am 40-something and in college. My perfectionism is driving me crazy on these college papers. What can I do?


Member: Spencer T.
Location: Washington D.C.
Date: 26 Jun 1998
Time: 23:48:49

Comments

Hi everyone, this is my first time visiting this place. I had no concept of their being recovery online. I have a purpose for my being here. I need a meeting list for the North Miami region. I was hoping I could find my way to it on the net, but frankly, I'm just not that good. If anyone has any leads or anything like that or another way of getting it, off of the web, please e-mail me at Skippy1337@yahoo.com. My gratitude will speak as soon as I recieve some sort of info from anyone who might know something. God loves us ALL!


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 00:28:17

Comments

Hi all Y'all, I am very definately a realalcoholic and my name is Sanders. Christie R. from Va., I surely do wish you had the same God today that I do. He only expects the best that I am capable of giving or doing and this gives me lots of freedom. I'll pray for you to find him soon.------- Doris so sorry to hear about the filly. My first reaction was that Stepper had died and I paniced, untill someone got me straight on it , and again a big thank you for doing so.---------Thanks Jason for your concern about my well being as well as all of Fl. There are lots of fires burnig and the 4th of July fireworks have been baned by the gov. because of how dry it is. The only way the fartmers are getting anything from the corn crop is to mow the stalks down and bundle it up to ese as hay, and that is some kind of expesive hay for them It is realsad for the farmers and in this area, when they hurt everyone hurts. It is the main industry here. As far as I am concerned, I stay inside neary all the time and have my AC set very cool so it stays dry in here also, so I am OK when I'm inside. When I go out to take Tobie, we are only out for a short trim arouind the house( She likes the SAC to) and when I get back in I'm really wheezing due to the heat and HUMIDITY. If I didn't know bettewr, I would say that Tobie was spoiled. But I know better, she is just sensative. She is mad with me right now as I have already told her she gets her bathin the morning, so she is sulking and getting even with me. She will be back out in a few minutes as she does not hold a grudge long.---- Lastly to Laurie and Terry I wanted to tell you that for my first five years in AA and not drinking, I hurt so bad I did't think I could stant it. I would have traded places with anyone I knew in AA that was not drinking. That was my period of 5 years of what I call white knuckle sobriety I used to ask this one old timer that I hated at the time but love dearly today, "When am I going to stop hurting?" He would laugh at me and say " Stand still and hurt you SOB, you deserve it" I don't know just why you are where you are right at this moment but I surely would hate to see you give up just before the miricle happens. Today, I would not take antything in the world for my first five years as I know I can hurt if I have to without drinking. I have finally arrived. I love you and whatever you do, don't drink and REALLY louse everything up Asd long as you don't drink, you have a chance. If you drink, you loose that possibility Love to all of you, and especially the ones who are hurting. I'll say a special prayer and I do KNOW that my God is still in the business of answering prayers..


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 00:36:27

Comments

I,m David, a recovered alcoholic. Believe it or not Doug I like to remind myself about the fact that the Big Book repetatively tells us we recover from this disease. It even goes so far as to tell us PRECISELY how the first 100 recovered. If my identification as a RECOVERED ALCOHOLIC is problematical for you I don't quite know what to say.

I was taught that consuming alcohol would most definitely terminate the recovered phase of my sobriety. I was also taught that I should oughta' be working the steps as the first 100 did. So I do. We are glad to have you with us Doug, even if I sound kinda like a wise acre', I welcome you to our home away from home.

Sundance, I'm suprised at you. You ONLY went through two weeks of archives before giving up! Where is that warrior spirit?? alarmme@srv.net

Sanders, I always thought you would be taller. LOL We appreciate the pics. All ya'all are going to make us go out and buy a scanner so we can reciprocate.

There are so many folks posting I just can't keep up. I can read ya' all but darn if I can keep ya'all front and center. Know that you are loved one and all and that you all enrich my sobriety.

Love in the Fellowship DB

PS, Some day, hopefully soon, I will get a little closer to rule 62 AND start minding my own business.


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 00:38:40

Comments

Good Evening everyone. Debra D alcoholic here. Norm was supposed to be home at 7:30 for me to go to my homegroup. Its 9:30 now and he is not home. Do you think he is in trouble? to vote yes dial 1-800-in-trouble to vote no dial 1-800-ass-saved. Ha! Ha! so thank god you all are here. You know what I love about this coffe pot also is that everyone seems to be so AA centered. I love It. Laurie. when I was 6 years sober for 3 months I would wake in the middle of the night with my bed wet from sweat. I was terrified I was going to drink and I felt like my head was going to blow up. 3 months was a long time. In hindsight I know what It was. I had a very sick sponsor that I was very frightened of for so many reasons to many to list here. I turned my life over to her every day. It realy was like some sick cult thing. She basicly ran my life and I let her. After 5 years of me ignoring my feelings and lying to myself. I ended up in that 3 month hell. God removed her from my life with amazing circumstances and I have never felt that way again. I am presently dealing in counseling with childhood issues that are so very painful. But I want my life to keep getting better so I have to weed out the crap so I can love myself again. I sobered up in a teen rehab center at first and they told me there that 95% of alcoholics that relapse have things from the past that are unresolved and so far from the sobriety ive had and the people I know It seems to be the truth. Now I'm just saying what they said that dosen't mean its true. It's just true for me. I hope you find the peace you so deserve and please don't pick up the drink. Just work your way back to loving yourself. We will help you.

Wishing you all Gods blessing and Love Debra D

P.S. Norms still not home!!!


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 00:44:41

Comments

Hi again Sanders here. Any one who wants the pictures of Stepper PLEASE send me an Email asking for it. Not ICQ because I don't know how to copy ICQ. Yet. What I will do withall the requests is make a copy of each one as they come in and keep them in a file , not in the computer but on my desk, and then when I get the pictures back from my daughter, I go through them and send to each person who requested them If you would please send it EMAIL. and I can keep track of them Thanks anfd I love all you ex drunks Sanders sanders@wfeca.net


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 01:32:28

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic.

I have put up a new chat page using the xoom.com server. The URL is, http://members.xoom.com/bowmax/sobriety connection.htm , feel free to use the page. If the server demands a password for your handle, substitute an uppercase letter for any letter in your handle. You will then be able to log on. Being a new, new, page I mean tonight new, you may have to "take someone along" so you will have a chatting buddy. This might be a good resource for us, lets see how long we can keep it to ourselves.

E-mail me with any feedback, alarmme@srv.net.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:09:40

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic. The proper URL for our chat room is listed below, ignore the previous URL, I blew it!! http://members.xoom.com/bowmax/sobrietyconnection.htm feel free to use the page. If the server demands a password for your handle, substitute an uppercase letter for any letter in your handle. You will then be able to log on. Being a new, new, page I mean tonight new, you may have to "take someone along" so you will have a chatting buddy. This might be a good resource for us, lets see how long we can keep it to ourselves.

E-mail me with any feedback, alarmme@srv.net.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:17:16

Comments

Hi again for a very short message to David or anyone else looking for a scanner. I saw tonight where Wal Mart had one for sale for 89. bucks and that ain't bad. Also David, I am 6ft 4in tall and weigh 250 lbs and by far the best looking and youngest in the entire bunch


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:19:29

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic. The proper URL for our chat room is listed below, ignore the previous URL, I blew it!! http://members.xoom.com/bowmax/sobrietyconnection.htm feel free to use the page. If the server demands a password for your handle, substitute an uppercase letter for any letter in your handle. You will then be able to log on. Being a new, new, page I mean tonight new, you may have to "take someone along" so you will have a chatting buddy. This might be a good resource for us, lets see how long we can keep it to ourselves.

E-mail me with any feedback, alarmme@srv.net.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:21:25

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic. The proper URL for our chat room is listed below, ignore the previous URL, I blew it!! http://members.xoom.com/bowmax/sobrietyconnection.htm feel free to use the page. If the server demands a password for your handle, substitute an uppercase letter for any letter in your handle. You will then be able to log on. Being a new, new, page I mean tonight new, you may have to "take someone along" so you will have a chatting buddy. This might be a good resource for us, lets see how long we can keep it to ourselves.

E-mail me with any feedback, alarmme@srv.net.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:24:06

Comments

Hi it is me again for a very short post to David and anyone else looking for a scanner. I saw today where Wal Mart has one for 89 bucks and that is about as cheap as I have ever seen one. By the way David, I am 6ft 4in tall and weigh 255 lbs and bt far the best loooking and youngest looking one in the entire buch. I can't get over how OLD THEY all got.


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 02:36:39

Comments

David AGAIN!

Sorry about the multiple posts. Now you can all call me a spammer. It really was a mistake, came at a most opportune time though.

Sanders, you have a little over two inches on me, I hate to have to look up at anyone but I somehow don't think you would be intimidating, sleep well my friend.

Love in the fellowship DB


Member: Doris
Location: On the hillside in Oregon
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 03:51:31

Comments

Good middle of the night, my name is Doris and I am an alcoholic. Senders, thank you. You are sweetie. What better way to show off my baby. And! I don't mind looking up to you either. As a matter of fact I have looked up to since I first met you and we have never even seen each other. I have to go to bed. Love to you all. Tomorrow we mow 20 acres of hillside and a bit of woods. If you all have nothing to do drop by. Doris


Member: Doris
Location: Oregon
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 11:42:50

Comments

Good morning folks, my name is Doris and I am an alkcoholic. Laurie in Long Beach. Having had only a year and a half of sobriety I cannot say I know what you are dealing with after all those years. But! I do know about depression. I've had that gun in my mouth and I will never let myself get that deep into the pit again. I can always see it coming. I usually have a clue of some kind. I take action. I feel that right now you don't have the energy to take action. Is that true? You know what they say about 'idle hands'. I believe it is true. I want you to know I will do anything I can. Talk to us. Tell us what you are feeling. I am sure that you know that keeping it inside where it can fester is the worst thing you can do. Write to me through Sanders and I will give you my address. Lets talk, Love Doris


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 11:47:28

Comments

Good morning to All Y,all I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Hopefully this will be the last chapter in Sanders's back problems. For the first time in many weeks, this morning when I rolled out of bed, I was able to lift my feet and into my slippers without having to pick them up with my hands to get them on my feet. There is still a very small amount of pain but so minor it is not important. Yesterday he gave me a steroid shot and more muscle inflamation medication and I am almost home with it and so very thankful. Thanks to all of you who have prayed for me and thought of me. It truely means a lots to me for your concerns.-------- The really good news is that Tobie is no longer mad with me. When I took her out last night, I told her she was getting her bath this morning and she imediately started to sulk. That lasted about 4 minutes and I wish I could learn from her how to turn loose of something. After that 4 minutes, she was her old self till I took her out again this morning. When we came back in I said nothing abouit the bath but she remembered because she went under the desk and stayed. I dew the water in the tub and just as I finished she was standing by me to take her collar off and then she jumped in the tub for me for her bath. The really bad or sad part then comes, when I have to close her out of the bedroom. I can set in the den at my computer with her but she does not like that door shut. Shge really takes that personal and is so sad, I can hardly look at her.Even with her treat, a pig ear her favorite, she does not want that door shut so I dry her as welll as I can with towels to shorten the time and when I finally open the door for her, the pandamonium starts. She is then a happy camper. We do this once a week and you would think I would be used to it by now but I still don't like to see her sad.--------Don't forget to keep the Emails coming if you want pictures of Stepper Love to all Y'all Sanders


Member: Laurie W
Location: Long Beach,CA
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 12:25:41

Comments

Hi it's Terry and Laurie again. Doris you're right I don't have the energy for anything these days. I'm going to a lot of meetings and trying to stay busy, but it's really hard. I'm not sure how I'm feeling, so I can't tell people. All I know is for today I don't want to drink anyway. That's a good thing. I may want to die but that's not really a big deal. I feel bad for Terry who has to put up with me, on a daily basis. I think she's the real reason I won't do anything because I do care about her even if I hate myself, and besides that I really am chicken. I'd have to have a fail proof way because I'd f--- it up anyway then Terry would keep me alive just because she likes to hold resentments, nobody gets anything past her, and gets away with it. I don't want to be a vegetable, she'd make me. Hope nobody has to drink today. Love, Terry & Laurie


Member: Doris
Location: Oregon
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 12:29:03

Comments

Good morning folks, my name is Doris and I am an alkcoholic. Laurie in Long Beach. Having had only a year and a half of sobriety I cannot say I know what you are dealing with after all those years. But! I do know about depression. I've had that gun in my mouth and I will never let myself get that deep into the pit again. I can always see it coming. I usually have a clue of some kind. I take action. I feel that right now you don't have the energy to take action. Is that true? You know what they say about 'idle hands'. I believe it is true. I want you to know I will do anything I can. Talk to us. Tell us what you are feeling. I am sure that you know that keeping it inside where it can fester is the worst thing you can do. Write to me through Sanders and I will give you my address. Lets talk, Love Doris


Member: Richard:Sundance
Location: West Coast
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 13:37:45

Comments

Hooowdy ya'all Sundance in the hoooooouuuse! Well, guess ya'all didn't get my joke, or maybe you thought it was dumb, or maybe this is a group of alkies who can't relate due to some form of spontaneous recovery. AnYwAy, I thought it was funny when I heard it. He,he,he,she,she,she!! Still do..…I know that I'm the type that if my HP gave me recovery all at once I'd probably say/go WWHHOOOOOPPPY!!! Celebrate good times com on!!!

How is everyone?? I hope that everyone who is well stays that way and for those suffering hopefully comfort is around the next corner. Sorry to hear about the filly, but I was raised around animals, so I know that these things happen. I hope that the next filly is stronger. And, again I'm sorry.

Hey there Terry & Laurie, I know you're in pain. And, I feel for ya. I'm not running for office, so I'm not going to say, I FEEEL YOUR PAIN, but I do. And, I guess I did. Hope all turns around soon. I caught that you guys have a substantial time in recovery, so you know you'er not alone. I've been around a little while, and consider myself pretty lucky, for I've found a way of dealing with my bouts of depression, and I hope you find your answer, or remedy. Great job on that N.A, or C.N.A, or M.A test last week. D*&%, a B+ is a great grade!! You should feel proud!! Easy now not too proud!!

I think it is funny how when someone is in pain all of a sudden everyone wants to explain how it was in their first year, or five years, or ten years like people stop having pain as time goes on. They usually seem to assume that they have more time, which is sometimes not the reality, and if they do then they should not need to use their time as a competing factor. One time I was having a problem and this guy said, " ya, I remember when I was only in my first few years," and come to find out I had more time than he did. I wouldn't have known that if he had stopped short of advertising it to the group. Recovery is seen and felt in their words if they are recovering (or recovered David: I have no argument with that), and many of the people with time do not advertise it. A friend of mine used that age old calling card on a newcomer at a F2F meeting I was at last week, and all I heard was EGO! Ego! Ego! I know I know they always say I'm just trying to help, and I hope that is true. But, I read body language pretty good and often that seems NOT to be the case. "I remember when I was like you" or "I'm the one with the real answer because I have X-# of years without alcohol" seems to be the attitude for those people. If they are cornered, they will always revert back to the question: how much time do YOU have. If you have more it is better to avoid the answer: for me, because I'm afraid they'll get depressed and get drunk or something. I know, it's not my responsibility, but I'm not into making deliberate moves that I know could send an alkie to his/her death. This is not a game of time, for one can die sober with one day, and that would be the winner!! I do not recall any major account of "time sober" with regards to the first 100 in the first 164: other than to say they died sober, or haven't had a drink since, so they must have thought it trivial as well! This is a spiritual program, and those who have sponsors with less time than they do have realized this fact. I know people who do, and I want what they have. People progress at different speeds. I've seen exceptions, but when someone uses their time to win debates or discussions, or to influence people on a regular bases, I start to laugh: usually aloud.

Yooooo! Doug good to hear from ya.... Don't take what David said too seriously. *Winkin* at ya, patna (B Casidy) I mean we can/could use a few good wise acres around here. Keeps us honest!! We like getting all mushy and emotionally frothy, stroking those, we like and attacking those, we disagree with, so some real world humor and observations are welcome that is at least by this alcoholic. But, be prepared to take heat from those who have different views than yours and who think all should understand their sentiments. Remember popular sentiment in Germany just prior to WWII. It would be hard to tell the followers of the Furor that they were being irrational. But, would you have the guts to. I can only hope that I'd have the faith to. Death with honor, courage, and love is better than apathy. We do have different symptoms now! Now that we do not drink. ... I know I'm sick, but I'm sickless than before.

Love ya'all, read ya later alligators!!

PS Now I know why Sanders likes B-ball so much. He,he,he,she,she,she! How's the weather up there!! Just kiddin which ya ol-man. Oopps! I meant youngster! Thanks, for your concern with regards to my mommy. She is doing fine. They both found a nice meeting hall and a friendly home group. Best of all, he's still sober. I told them about you and she agrees that people in the program are on the same spiritual hook up with our HP. Whoever that might be.


Member: FAYLA    G
Location: GALENA   KS
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 14:10:11

Comments

fayla g ,alcoholic yesterday was my oldest sons birthday he turned 35 ,im 52 .I had him in an unwed mothers home in wichita ks ,i was in reform school at the time ,and they were not set up for babys so they told me i would be sent to the unwed mothers home till my ,baby was born the day befor i was to leave for the unwed mothers home my social worker called me into her office and told me that when i got there i should make it easy on everyone and signthe adoption papers ,she said they only hold the baby for 90. days after there born and i can asure you im not realeasing you from here in 90.days i sat in that chair and felt my heart break ,i didnt think my legs were going to hold me up as i left i couldnt see where i was going for the tears,i could never describe that pain to any one ,i was taken to the unwed mothers home the next day i just felt num ,it was a very strange thing but when i walked threw those doors ,i felt a peace come over me,ill make a long story short .i was given a social worker to work on my case while i was there her name was pat ,i can remmber her face so clear i loved her .one day we were sitting outside talking and she said fayla ,what would you like to do ,i got kind of mad ,i don t have any choise ,but i want to keep my baby , i said that women at reform school is the coldest most heartless person i have ever met,Pat looked at me for along time ,she said dont get your hopes up please ,but let me work on this .my heart gave a funny little jurk ,after she left i ran up to the chaple and got on my hands and knees like i did several times a day and begged God ,please dont let them take my baby ,and PAT fought that social worker ,she fought hard ,and i didnt know till he was 3 or 4 days old that i got to keep him ,but i did his name is Joey ,he still drinks ,i love him very much and im proud of him ,Happy birthday JOEY i love you ,mom.I LOVE ALL of you to thanks for being there ,my dear sweet freinds , Fayla G


Member: doris
Location: on the hill
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 16:20:44

Comments

~ ~ ~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOEY ~ HAPPY LIFE FAYLA ~ fAYLA, YOU MAKE MY HEART SING EVERY TIME I HEAR YOUR VOICE.And when I read your words I DO hear you. I can feel your heart beat in every work that you say. You are a LOve, my friend. Doris


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 17:08:48

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic, as are most of you. I found where my multiple posts came from last evening. I began the post as a problem popped up in the server on my end. I'm glad the computer terminated the download or my server may well have have posted the same message for an hour.

I could have had 50 or 60 duplicate posts. Would have really been a spammer then.

After all that the server that provides my chat room is DOWN today. HA HA!!

Now on to the topic of time in recovery. I had a sponsor that helped me greatly when working the fourth and fifth steps. This was when I was in the midst of my third year sober. ( Oops, I shouldn't have mentioned time served, might not be PC.) I had already done a number of fourth and fifth steps but as TIME WENT BY more and more became revealed. It is important to note that this was a new sponsor to me and he had over twenty years sober in the program. As we were finishing up he began a dialog about Spiritual Pride. He related Spiritual Pride to length of time sober. He asked me if he had been of service to me in helping to clear away some of my debris. I said yes. Then he asked some questions that stick with me to this day, " If I was only ten years sober, would you have received the same benefit from the step work we did today? How about five years? If I had had a drink last week would the help I gave you today have been lessened in any way?" Of course the answer to all his questions was no there would not have been a lessening of the value of the spititual lessons learned.

Unless I was practicing the defect of Spiritual Pride. You know, my Gods better than your God. My time is better that your time. My whatever is better than your whatever.

We do need to remember the individual that carried the message to Bill W. How many people remember his name? Damn near all of us. Another controversy put to sleep.

Kerry says Hi, she made some remark about how it would be nice to get some computer time but being a regular egomaniac I just blew her off and told her to go cook my dinner. ANY BODY THAT KNOWS KERRY, KNOWS I WOULD NEVER EAT AGAIN IF THAT WAS TRUE.

Enough of me, I must get back to my life, work awaits.

I will be ammending my opening, as I did on this post, to reflect the fact that we are all in the same boat. Works for me!!!

Sundance, Is that" Richard is in the hoooouuuuse" thing anything like "They're Baaack"?

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 17:16:08

Comments

This is Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Fayla, you mean so much to me! I have to agree with Doris, I hear your heart in every word ! And you help me with every word. Happy birthday, Joey!

Spencer, in the location or address bar of your browser, type in "alcoholics-anonymous.org". That'll give you the general services page with info about meetings worldwide.

Laurie, you are still being prayed for. I have to remember there is nothing going on in my life today that wouldn't be made worse if I took a drink/drug. That's my experience. And there is nothing that my higher power won't help me live through and learn from. That's my strength. Believing the peace will come again gives me hope.

Sundance! I'm glad you are in the hoouuuse! I'm one of those alcoholic, addict, nico, caffeine seeking, ICE CREAM FIEND, feel good junky, MOREITEs, too. (See, I paid attention! 8--D)

Christy R, there is a definite connection between perfectionism and procrastination and lack of progress in my life. And when I don't make progress, Itend to go backwards. Gotta run do a favor for a friend. Love to each and every one! May you find his peace!


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 19:11:14

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic, as are most of you.

I need to tell a joke. Do you know why there are no blonde jokes about men? Because with men haircolor doesn't matter.

Don't confuse me with the facts either.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 19:28:46

Comments

Hi Everybody, Kim D, Alcoholic/Addict here, Hope everyone having a good weekend. I got my daughter on the plane safe and sound, so things are pretty quite down my way. SUNDANCE, I loved your joke. It so rightly points out that none of us recovers fully in an *instant*! How wierd would that be? Recovery comes a "step" at the time, one day at a time. This program is totally *SPIRITUAL* but it is NOT magical. "Time" in this program is only relavent to how much time I've work the 12 steps, practice the 12 traditions with a group and how many opportunities I've been given to "practice these princples" in all my affairs. Time sober is meaningless to me - living the program is the deal for me and I only live in the present. My sponsor told me from the beginning(once I had begun working steps)to sponsor the newcomers she sent my way. She said, "If you have worked the step yourself, you can guide someone else through that stretch". Furthermore, she is always telling me to keep one hand on the teacher and one hand on the student if you want to stay sober" Time is not what give quality sobriety. To sponsor someone, you need to have worked steps. "Spirital Pride" it seems silly. I should be dead now, I'm not - God saved by ass, not me. Pride is pride - everyone knows it when they see it, except in the mirror. That's why I depend of my fellows in AA's to shoot me straight when I am too Full of S---. Anyway, enough one that. Laurie, I am praying for you....Depression is the most painful, debilitating and relentless illness. I've been where you're at and I wish you the best. Bill W. wrote a beautiful passage about dealing with depression in a letter, you can find it in "As Bill Sees It" pg. 92. I have it bookmarked for myself. If you do not have access to a copy tonight, e-mail me - tonykim@evcom.net - and I will be glad to e-mail to you. Thanks everyone and God Bless. Thanks for letting me share. Kim D


Member: Richard:Sundance
Location: West Coast
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 20:53:15

Comments

Richard: Sundance in the Hhooouuuuse! I'm baaaack! He,he,he,she,she,she. I'm an alcoholic but I'm in remission from the alcohol part but not the ISM. Well, David you hit that one on the head. See, in my native tongue "in the house" when literally translated means "they're back". Of cores my native tongue is that of Garbl`egook!!! LOL Oh, and when I read your joke I was sure the punch line was going to be because men wrote them all. But, yours was much funnier.

Thanks Charlotte Now, was that a crying face??? Come on now, siss!!! I HAVE SOME ICE CREEAAM. 8D ha,ha,ha. See that laughing face??

Kim D your post makes a lot of sense. Working to program is the key.

Well, I just found out, no he told me, that my protégée decided to drink. He is stead fast that he's not going to be apart of the group. He does not want to go to meetings. He's probably not ready yet, but he is interested in the BB. He described how he mentally Fscrewed himself. See, he saw this really, really, really nice hand-crafted glass bottle that he thought would look spectacular in his apartment. Well, the bottle just so happened to be an imported bottle of whiskey (my drink too). But, it was just for decoration. Well, that lasted until he got about half way home upon where he came across the thought that since he'd been sober for 26 days that he deserved a shot……or two…….or three…..orrrrrr….the bottle is now empty. But, his apartments not after all he now has plenty of company, the four horsemen decided to drop by his house. Well, it is a little disappointing surely my enlightened approach should have worked. He,he,he,she,she,she. AnYwAy, I'm not giving up on him (yet), for this was his first attempt and if I'd been dropped after mine by AA then I'd be drunk now. Everyone here knows that meetings help keep us connected, but I do not buy into the fact that a BB isn't better than nothing, for there are instances of long term sobriety with only the BB and correspondence. And, after reading it a couple times with him maybe he will change his mind, drop the resentment, or stop the contempt prior to investigation, or whatever. I've already seen that the BB is influencing him, for he was able to identify with the mental masturbation scenarios outlined in the BB about the first drink, but he could not stop the ride: I guess. He sure didn't try calling. WWWhhhhaaattteeeveeer. I still have the hope that he will keep trying to grasp our way of life, but if he does not it keeps me active. ON THE FRONT LINES BROTHER/SISTER, WHOOORAAAA!! BACK TO THE FRONT WHERE I BELONG! AAHHHHH, I CAN ALMOST FEEL THE ADRENALIN RUSH THROUGH ME AS I THINK OF THE NEXT OFFENSIVE. NOTHING LIKE SPIRITUAL WARFARE!!!

Read ya later alligators!!!


Member: Sanders W.
Location: Graceville, Fl.
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 22:00:38

Comments

Hi to all Y'all, I am very definately a real alcoholic and my name is Sanders. Fayla, you truely speak from the heart. I can usually tell when someone speaks at a meeting whether it is just talk or if it is Heart talk and my dear, yours is heart talk. Please don't ever change from exactly what you are right now. I love you for being you.------ I don't think that time is the most important thing in a person's sobriety but I do think it has an important part still. The longer a person has been in AA and sober, the more experiences he has been exposed to and therefore can identify with more situations than someone who is very new. If this experience is used correctly and not the "hollier than thow" or the "soberer than thow" or "better than thow", it can be of tremendous help to a newer person in the program. When the new person has a question, the one who has experienced the same situation can better help him because he has his experience to rely on and to help. If a person has not done the 5th and 6th steps, I can't see how he can very well help someone else do those steps. As I said earlier time sober is not the most important thing but it is important I think if for no other reason, it lets people know this program works and can work for longer periods of time. Hope you folks understand what I'm trying to say.------- Keep those request coming for the Stepper pictures if you want them. Love all Y'all Sanders


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 22:14:28

Comments

I'm David, a recovered alcoholic, as are most of ya'all reading this post.

Short post to Kim D. Apparently your opinion is better than my opinion. What's that I smell?? I've got a feeling its either Spiritual Pride or that odor left behind as a reader slips between the written lines and concentrates on the spaces between.

Kim, I have a name, if you want to bump me up about something kindly offer me the respect of including my name in your post. Or better yet, live and let live. That means if you don't yet understand something let it be.

I would have addressed this through your E-mail but my sponsor advised me that it is best to confront the confused in a public forum with lotsa witnesses.

And yes it is my pride that has made it necessary to respond to your inference that you are one of the good AA's that are responsible for letting me know I'm so full of shit.

Thank you so much for doing your job.

You read me like a book Richard, you knew I would respond to her. Maybe I will have to write about that.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Charlotte B
Location: Mississippi
Date: 27 Jun 1998
Time: 23:30:17

Comments

I am Charlotte, a grateful recovering alcoholic and addict. Grateful to be alive and sober, by God's grace. Recovering bit by bit the good things I gave away while drinking and drugging, including my self/soul/essence.

No, that was not a frowning face by any means!! Although I have let the stores close without renewing my stash of Blue Bell Butter Pecan Ice Cream! May have to make a quick run to Baskin Robbins before they close! (The default font on my browser makes a wierd 8-) ... kinda squishy from this side of the screen.)

Anywaay, life is good here. This morning I asked God to keep me clean and sober, and he has. Practiced these principles. Didn't adhere perfectly but do think I made a little progress today.

Thank you for being here for me, and thank you for letting me share.


Member: Kim D
Location: Orlando, FL
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 00:06:47

Comments

Hi to All, Kim D, alcoholic/addict,

David B. I am truly sorry that my previous post appeared to you or anyone in this group as being an afront to you. I did read back through the posts and realize what I said may have been confusing. I truly thought I was agreeing with you and Richard to the extent that no so called "holier than thou" status be given to anyone because that person has been without a drink for some extended period of time. I think other peoples sobriety (quantity or quality) is none of my business to judge. I take great comfort from the majority of folks in the program who have been in longer than I, but I also feel comfort from everyone who makes it through our doors regardless of when that got there. I simply was saying, when I look at this question of how I view time in the program it's one way to identify if someone may have more experience with working the program than I. Maybe I didn't do a very good job of expressing myself. Pride (of any kind) for me is just like "justifiable anger" is better left to people who can handle, I can't. I don't think we diagree, but if we do, I willing to be open-minded. I was not saying, infering, insinuating or intimating in ANY WAY that you or anyone else here was full of shit. My ONLY reason for mentioning it was it is MY PRIDE(spiritual or otherwise)is what causes me to be full of it. I sure don't think my opinion is better than your, I didn' think it was different. I must of misunderstood your post. Please forgive me if I insulted you. It was not my intention. Please feel free to e-mail anytime - tonykim@evcom.net

Kim


Member: Doug B (Texas Tumbleweed)
Location: GA
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 00:16:52

Comments

Hi ya'll. Cooked chickens (1200 halves) all nite Fri and all morn today for a lodge I belong to. Really tired - and don't want to see a dead chicken for some time. But it felt really good to be of help to someone else. Since I've been disabled I've rerally had a hard time with the 'pity-pot' and depression since I'm used to being very active and working all the time. For me, when on the 'pot' or in the pits of 'hell' (depression) I find someone to try to help--regardless of how minor. A phonecall to someone who is sick and wishing them well is a nice beginning. This gets ME out of SELF -- a very dangerous place for me to be literally. I'm qualified to say this -- I tried suicide.

When I allow life to knock me to my knees; I might as well pray while I'm there already.

Doug B., Idaho Falls - my friend we have the same first name and last initial. I took no offense at your 'recovered' status. This is an 'individual' program! For me, recovered conotates I no longer have the problem. True, I may not have the obsession to drink anymore thanks to my HP; but, I still have my character defects which I have to work on til I die. Therefore, I still have the problem -- which is exactly why I 'continue to take personal inventory and when wrong promptly admit it'. I may disagree with your viewpoint, but I will defend to death your right to have it.

Length of sobriety. April 16, 1976 for me. How many 'dry drunks' have I been on in that time? Do 'dry drunks' have the same effect on time of sobriety as do 'wet drunks'? Do I have the authority to determine 'your sobriety date'? Do I have the authority to determine whether or not you are an alcoholic? NO! NO! NO! For me, length of sobriety means very little (I, of my own choosing do not formally celebrate birthdays)--however, QUALITY -- QUALITY of sobriety is of the utmost importance. Working the program to the best of my ability - TODAY - praying that tomorrow my ability will be a little better than today, and so ad infintum.

Well, guys and gals, my tired is getting tired, and besides I'm tired. Time for some shut eye. If I have offended anyone, I apologize. That was NOT my intent. Just trying to share my ES&H (E being some lesson I've learned over time) in the spirit of love in the fellowship. May the Higher Power of Your choice bless and protect you according you His will for you. Doug B. (Texas Tumbleweed) dougbeach@worldnet.att.net


Member: David B
Location: Idaho Falls
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 00:32:31

Comments

I'm David.

Kim, that " smell" might have been created by me reading between the lines. Thank you for your response. Amends are unnecessary. I will e-mail you.

I keep on forgetting we are sensitive alkies and we most certainly includes me.

Sorry for my curt response.

Love in the Fellowship DB


Member: Terry P
Location: Long Beach, CA
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 01:03:37

Comments

Hi Terry & Laurie again. Man we had a b----of a time finding you guys tonight, almost gave up especially Terry she's easily frustrated, I'm persistant, we blend nicely. We just wanted to check in to say HI, we are o.k. Sometimes you feel like you've missed a lot when you haven't been home all day. Seems to Terry that the discussion is about quantity or quality of sobriety, and she's learned that all you truly have is TODAY. Quality is how much you make of TODAY, so it all comes down to TODAY. Well anyways that's Terry's opinion for TODAY, who knows what "tomorrow" will bring? I don't have an opinion right now! We won't be home until Monday night, hopefully you guys will be in the same place when we get back. Thanks for listening. Terry & Laurie


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 01:43:41

Comments

Kerry/alcoholic

My, aren't we all judgemental tonight!!

I will take what helps me, and leave the rest.

Question is, how can anyone really judge what QUALITY of sobriety anyone has??

Just wondering..................


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 01:54:55

Comments

Kerry/alcoholic

I will take what helps me, and leave the rest. Thank God for the Big Book.

After reading some of the posts, I do have a question lingering in my mind - that is: How can we sum up the QUALITY of someone else's sobriety??? (unless they are drinking). Is this PERFECTION that is being talked about??? Just curious.......

The QUALITY versus QUANTITY issue usually is brought up by those who have not been working the program for very long. Wonder why???

Just wondering..................


Member: fayla  g
Location: galena ks
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 02:43:38

Comments

FAYLA ,alcoholic ,Thank you Doris,Sanders and Charlott.i was feeling kind of sad and he dont have a phone ,so i thought id let him read that when he comes down ,and he ll know mom was thinking about him on his b.d. am praying for everyone and i am sorry about the colt DORIS ,welcome all new members ,love and prayers to you all .fayla g


Member: Craig S
Location: Eugene OR
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 03:01:34

Comments

Hi to all, Craig-Alchoholic. First time here. Especially to Doris and Delores. I've been sober almost 18 months. Things are going well, although I find the second year is not near as easy as the first. When I think of where I came from, it doesn't seem so bad.

There appears to be some real neat sober people in here, and I think I will stick around for a while and get to know some of you.

I have been an ICQ user for over 2 years now, and saw some confusion on some of your comments. I agree with what Doris said earlier, "If she can get it anybody can!". If you have questions, maybe I can help with them. If I read the instructions right, I am either going to post at the end of a week, or maybe the first of the week. The time zone gets me screwed up. Thanks for letting me in, and if i break some rules, sorry in advance, just let me know:)


Member: Debra D
Location: Victoria Canada
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 03:38:10

Comments

Wow my heart gets thumping when things get kinda steamy like this! He! He! But it opens the door for an experience I have been dyeing just dyeing to talk about. Give me an opening and watch out!

Here goes! 18 years old. My whole life (all 18 years of it) I was told how to talk. How to think. How to breath. What I could and could not do (not within reason) and mostly how I felt. "oh come on you don't feel that way" or " cut it out! why are you crying Its not that big of a deal" It seemed to me that I was nuts. How I felt never seemed to fit the situation (so I was told) and my thoughts. well they were "stupid" or "silly". I turned my life over to my mother, my boyfriends, the bank teller, whoever would tell me how to feel and what to think cause I did'nt trust myself.

Well guess what? I walked into AA and met this fabulous woman (so I thought) 25 years sober and wow did she know her stuff! the next 5 years of my life I turned over to her. What a mistake. at one point she was slamming her fist on the table in front of me an yelling " If norman dosen't Initiate sex with you 3 times a week you must leave him!" she told people that she was afraid norm was going to start hitting me. (You must understand that this was so far from the truth its funny. almost) anyway the world conference in san diego came along and me and 3 of her other sponsors were told "If you don't go your not gratefull for your sobriety" she was angry and so we went. (of course we coulden't afford it but she was angry and we went) the trip was from hell she drove us down 40 some hours straight without sleeping and she said God told her she could ??????????? (wacko) anyway my relationship ended there and the 3 of us flew home (by the way the confrence was fabulous and I am grateful I went) My point is she is nuts and still is. (my opinion of course) The biggest lesson of my life. I realy learned how Its so easy for me to let others make my desisions for me. Ive always done it and it obsolves me of all consiquenses and responsibility.

I realy belive Quality and Quantity are so important all of our experiences can benifit each other and everyone is individual. I love this program and am grateful for surviving the wrath of my first sponsor. Of course I take responsibility for having put myself in that situation. This was another painful time in my sobriety but i survived it! Fayla Congrats on your sons birthday!

O.K. I will finaly ask. Can someone please tell me what LOL means?

Sanders W. I have had no mental images of anyone elce on this site (except David and Kerry actualy He has dark hair, Glasses and is about 5'8" and she has currly long blond hair) but I think you have a gray mustashe and beard and hair your about 5'9" and wear suspenders. Please tell me if im right people

Goodnite and God Bless


Member: mary m.
Location: North Carlolina
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 08:15:26

Comments

Hey everyone! mary/alcoholic here. Fayla-what a touching post. Tell your son happy birthday!! Isn't it wonderful how God puts such wonderful people in our path when we need them!! i introduced my sponser to you guys yesterday. She is considering getting a computer. She really thought our site was great!!!! She read alot of posts and thinks it is something she could really get into. maybe she will be visiting soon. Sanders= wish I had one of those scanners so you could see my new little baby,Tinkerbell. (I did not name her, i swear) She's part Jack Russell and spit-fire! She is 12 weeks old and has won my heart! One ear has begun to stand straight up and the other one flops over! she loves to sit on my lap as I read your posts. You all have a wonderful Sunday!!!!!!

Love, mary


Member: Kerry B.
Location: Idaho
Date: 28 Jun 1998
Time: 08:44:52

Comments

Kerry an alcoholic. Good morning. Debra D. - the rooms of AA have some very sick people in them. The key word is SOME. When I was new I did'nt even know how sick I was, let alone be able to look around the room and JUDGE who had worked the steps, and who hadn't. That has always been my point about the issue Quality vs Quantity. Too bad the world is not so black and white that we can see the truth about everyone. Nobody would ever be hurt, or murdered, or raped etc. When I was practicing my disease, I could just look at someone and put them into my little filing system in my head. I had everyone in their little slots. I have known people that I thought for sure they had this thing nailed down, and had come to find out later that they didn't. They went back out, or they were tyrants or whatever. My whole point is that there is a bit of good in all of us, and a bit of bad also. To say that someone who has been LIVING sober for alot of years and working the steps does not have anything more to share than someone who just walked through the doors yesterday is to me absurd. Experience is Experience. If I had not learned anything since the day I walked through the doors, I would have taken my life (probably by drink). That would represent alot of years in pain and confusion. There is no hope. On the other hand, some are sicker than others. When I heard "stick with the winners" I had no concept in the beginning what I was being told. Basically I was being told to listen to people, and watch them, what they say and what they do. If the two do not match, then go on to the next. Specially when I was looking for a sponser. I let the other folks around me help me with my judgements, it was all I could do. I have at times put my trust in people that later I found out I shouldn't have. Yeah, I got hurt, but I learned from those experiences. Sometimes you just can't tell - Aint' that the way of the world. Live and Learn, and I would not have it any other way today. Because if I didn't, I would be robbing myself of the rich experiences of those who had gone before me. I hope I have expressed myself well enough. About those descriptions, you can e-mail me at alarmme@srv.net. LOL - Laugh out Loud - just learned the meaning myself.