I'm Perry and a grateful recovering alcoholic;
I have picked for this weeks topic: Trusting in a Higher Power
Every time I "Let Go and Let God" things always ( 100% of
the time) turn out for the better, usually better than I could
have dreamed possible!
Why do I have such a struggle with this? I really am self
centered and selfish in most of my motives and think that I
Can control the outcomes of all things. What a joke. Overtime
I try to " Drive the Bus" I head towards a drink.
Left to my own devices, without a God and a program, I will
succumb to these powerful and fatal progressive disease. The
other side of that coin is" If I Let Go and Let God the
opposite happens. Sobriety is a progressive , with each sober
year is greater, happier and more peaceful that the year prior.
All of this is contingent upon the Maintenance of my Spiritual
Condition, leading to only a daily reprieve from my
Ah, but a real joy to find this reprieve and share it with others.
It must be as great as or maybe the equivalent to Heaven on
Earth! Love: Perry H in Pennsylvania. Happy Holidays!
Faith is the ultimate tool of the agnostic, the unknowing. If
faith in booze had been enough for us, we could have copped
a buzz off the IDEA of taquila. We had to drink to know.
Now we have to live.
We had to tell our story over and over again. To begin with,
without having taken the inventory, our stories were basically
just RUMORS about our lives, and at the very beginning they
were rumors about lies!
We had to face the facts. No big shot...no little shot, just the
facts. Within the facts of our own story we discovered a
Power at work during crucial times that was unexplainable.
We were protected and cared for many times without any
help from anyone else, It was beyond our thought, even our
instinct. AA's called this Power "God" and we realized that we
had known "God" for a long time.
We took steps. We realized that even a little bit of Knowing
made up for a whole lot of Believing. Go with what you
If you want to know more, take steps.
Rich G. in WA
I'm an alcoholic and my name is Rich.
If it hadn't had been for God, Alcoholics Anonymous, and the
first one or two or more thousand people I met, I couldn't
have gotten sober in the first place. It wasn't by any of my
doing, for myself, by myself. It HAD to be a Power totally
outside of me. And, Perry, you're so right. Every time I
turned to Him for the answers, they came, and I KNEW what
my next right action was to be. So my faith deepened and
grew upon taking that action. The next time, it was easier to
pray, hence, more spiritual growth. And it can continue...the
first word of the 1st paragraph in the step study of Step 3 is:
Practicing...I think this means I can do so if I wish, as often as
I want, with more or less participation that I deem. Just
practice, practice, practice. Aren't those three action words?
I, too, often struggle with my defiant, self-seeking selfishness.
Most of the time, I think, "I can handle this", and take off on
a mission with out asking God to guide me. Need i tell you the
results? Definately NOT productive.
On the other hand, when I ask Him 1st to guide and keep me,
the results are always positive. Ah, whycome dat 'tis???
Thank God I'm not in the helm. I'd sink the ship!!!
Great topic Perry, and keep coming, you're getting better all
the time. : )
God bless you all, Rich G
Judy K in Maine
Thanks, Perry -- the perfect topic, as usual! Yes, Rich,
Defiance is my middle name! (Along with several others
However, Father Knows Best -- and it's my responsibility to
truly pay attention to His Will -- message come in odd little
seemingly unrelated or unreasonable messages and all I have
to do is trust enough to follow through. When I do (with blind
faith) HP's message gets ever clearer and I'm more peaceful
and trusting. When I'm listening, I always seem to be in the
right place at the right time. Hmmm. How come this took me
so long? I've known it for a long time, but acting with absolute
trust (almost) EVERY time is hard on my Ego. ;^)
Hi I'm Cherise and I'm an alcoholic. Wow can I relate this
week. I have had such experience in growth this week. At the
beginning of the week my sponsor went away and I had some
major crisis go on. But like every one has been saying "I knew
I could handle it with my will" "yeah right". When I truly
surrendered to God once again, I was able to ask for help and
people automatically were there to support me. I know it was
God's will that my sponsor was away, becuase I had to get
real close to God and learn to do the right things, and actually
I was able to do them.I was able to make correct decisions
and really do what I knew God would want me to do. What
was best for everyone in the situation. But only until I
SURRENDERED did all this happen. I have a true sense of
Peace again. For me Let Go and Let God means totally,
honestly, and whole heartedly surrendering and when listening
to God the answers always do come as long as I listen instead
of running my (know it all) mouth. Thanks Perry great topic!
Love to all especially God!
My name is Bill and I'm a drunk.
Let Go and Let God. Why do I do that? Because it works!
Why don't I do it 24 hours a day, in all of my affairs, at all
Probable because my faith and resolve are not yet strong
enough. As has been so well pointed out, Recovery, like
Alcoholism, is a progressive thing. I simply haven't progressed
far enought, yet.
And then there are Other People. Those who think you should
be in there, throwing dirt like a dog digging up a bone. And
who will think that you're a complete nut if you tell them,
"Look, God and I are working on it." I'm not entirely sure
how to deal with this latter group, but I do my best to just
Back in my drinking days, when I thought I was responsible
for everything and had to do it all, I used to build immense
structures of deceit and half-measures. I'm sure my output
was impressive, but the product wasn't very durable.
Today, the output is less, but the product is better....
Thanks for being here and thanks for having me.
Good day to all! This is my first time at your meeting. I'm
here to check it out cause I can not always get to a meeting so
this gives me the opportunity to share with others whats
happening for me today. Let go and let God has been a really
difficult task for me to do. The days when I do the driving of
my bus I get into alot of difficulties, however on the other side
of that is when I put the right driver in the right seat well then
my bus has very few task to over come and I have a fairly
smooth trip. I choose to call my higher power the creator.
Lately creator has been doing for me what I could not do for
myself. He helped me to see the light in some situations where
I was allowing my heart to get in the way. He has seen fit to
put new people in my path where I have had to let go of old
relationships. He has seen fit to keep me sober and to work a
program like I have never been able to do before. You see
before I was doing all the controlling and I was having a hard
time with the "GOD ISSUE". However when I stopped
fighting and just had faith and got some acceptance in
everything I do, act, say, believe, & see life seemed to go a
whole lot better. It was a new friend that said I just needed to
have faith and that I would need to find a new level of
acceptance, when he said this I did not quite know what he
ment. Today I do cause I had alot of things I just need to trust
the process and just accept it for what it was and I just did it
and boy does it work.
So in closing the only advice I can pass on to the new comer
the old timer that is struggling is have faith and find a new
level of acceptance and get the hell out of your own way and
things will happen exactly like they are suppose to. Things
happen just the way they are to and things are "just are".
Take care and remember to always do and act towards others
as you would like them to do unto you.
Smiles & Hugs to all
Lex B. Ontario
This is one of my favorite topics, and like Rich G., I was told
to stay away from the helm. "Get in the boat and row, Joe,"
my sponsor said, "but don't try to steer."
Once in my sobriety, I felt the need to leave a job I had been
in for over 20 years. After praying about this, I made the
decision to act, and I resigned. Right after that I broke into a
panic state. Thought sure I would end up on the streets, broke
and homeless. After a period of this fear, I finally gave up and
turned it over to my Higher Power with "complete abandon."
Almost immediately miracles started happening. Within a
couple of weeks, I had a better job, one I loved, and even a
better salary. So why did I have to put myself through all that
pain and apprehension? I don't know. It was all God's will to
start with. Let go and let God. What a concept!!
Diane in MA
Hi, Diane and very grateful to be sober for another day.
Perry, this is the best topic. "Letting Go and Letting God" has
gotten a lot easier over the years but it took this alcoholic a lot
of time to be able to trust Him. Life is not always the way I
think it should be, but, with God on my side, I know it's the
way it should be. I would try to make this happen, it would be
disastrous and I had no serenity. Today, I do experience
serenity and calmness, especially when I take the time to pray
and meditate during the day. I always aks God for help in the
morning and thank Him at night. If AA was not a spiritual
program and we didn't have God as our Power, I know I
would not be sober today. I can't stay sober without Him nor
could I without the people in AA. God speaks through people.
I need to keep an open mind and listen for my answers. I was
told a long time ago that when the head, heart and gut are in
sink, then I am doing God's Will. You see my will hurts, His
does not. It took this self-centerend alcoholic a long time and
a lot of practice to be able to trust Him. There is one thing
that I am sure of and that is if I keep asking God for help on a
daily basis, go to meetings and keep practicing His Will, I will
stay sober and everything will be alright.
Thank you all for being here, God Bless You and Happy
Lynne W, in Calif.
Hi I.m Lynne an alcolholic in Calif., Thanks Perry for the
great topic, Let go and Let God,I sure need it sometimes, this
time of year is usually a good time but for the last year I have
wanted it MY way instead of turning it over, thank God for
this meeting, I have been struggling with something for the
past year and havent been able to figure out what it was,then
it came to me,(or should I say,I turned it over) and started to
figure out what the problem was,here goes,last year I lost my
little brother to this disease on Christmas Eve,I thought that I
had handled it very well, when in reality I was holding on to
my feelings and asking why couldn,t I help him? I,m supposed
to know how to do this right?I realize now that I needed to
turn it over to my higher power and he has handled things the
way they needed to be handled,and to stop blaming myself for
him dying,thank you all for being out there, by participating
and listening I can now turn over my,anger,bitterness etc.
because I know that my HP has wonderful plans for me.
Happy Holidays !!!
Hi! My name is Jay and I am an alcoholic. This is my first
visit to the cyber-meeting. Three weeks ago I had an accident
in work and after two weeks in the hospital, I am presently
homeboung (several members of my group hove offered to
take me to meetings but my doctors think it is too soon).
Because of the wounds I suffered It is very difficult for me to
sit for long periods of time. I don't believe in coincedences
anymore, and haven't for a long time. I just wanted to share
some "experience" which has come to me as a result of my
present situation. When the doctors were repairing my injuries
they came accross a "pollop" which, when tested, came back
positive for cancer. I will never forget the doctors face as he
came in to give me the news. Upon hearing of the cancer my
response somewhat startled the doctor. I told him that hearing
this news was the equivilant of "hitting the number" in as
much as this would allow the doctors to deal with a cancer
which under 'normal" circumstances may not have been found
for several years. For me this just reinforced my belief that
God surely does "work in mysterious ways". The doctor
initally looked at me as though I was a lunatic (I suspect he
hasn't had alot of experience with recovering alcoholics),
although upon thinking the situation over for a few minutes he
agreed with my assessment of the situation. I believe that this
"leap of faith" was not a leap at all but a product of the
thousands of meetings I have attended over the years. For me
sobriety is a process not an event. I truly thank God for AA ,
and thank AA for God. Sorry for being so windy, I suppose I
needed to speak. Thank you so much for being there for me.
My name is Glen and I'm and alcoholic.
This is one of my favorite topics 'cause I always seem to need
to hear it. I'm much better with the acceptance, but
occasionally God's will happens to align itself with mine, and
when that happens I tend to think it's because I'm such a great
person. Both good and bad things have happened in my life
since I have been sober, but good and bad things happened
when I was drinking, too. It used to be that I took credit for
everything good in my life and blamed the bad stuff on you
SOB's and God. Now, I am able to thank God for the good
things and accept responsibility for my part in the bad things
that have happened to me.
There is a little church that I pass on my way to work that has
a sign that reads: "If you have God as a co-pilot, change
Hi everyone my name is Artie K. I am 34 and have been
sober for 16 days and I am feeling good Physically but
emotionall screwed up with all that my drinking has lead to.
one thing I don't understand that after I have attended two
meetings is why would we want to find a higher power outside
oueselves. Would it not be much more gratifing to find it
within ourselves and know that we were able to overcome the
problem. I think this way would instill a lot more self
confidnce in ourselves. Don't get me wrong I believe in God
as I was born & rasied Cathlolic, but, I believe he put us here
and it is up to us to make it work.
Donnie K. MD.
Thank you God for the nonpreferences in my life today, if I
did'nt have them I would never have known your love, mercy
frank b (portland oregon)
Hi, my name is Frank and i am an alcoholic...good topic
perry..yah sitting in the drivers seat and on a collision course
for pain...it took me a long time (about 4 &1/2 yrs)before i
finally got It...my self-centernedness was so bad i couldn't see
that i had been trying to sit in the drivers seat with God...what
a joke..then one of the real old timers said try asking yourself
what i would be willing to give up in order to improve my
conscience contact with God..so i started and soon came to
realize how selfish and selfcentered i really was..and the key
for me was that i would give it up ..not that i had to or would
He ask me to give up anything..and finally after 4 1/2 years of
struggle the miracle happened..and as stated on page 25 God
started doing for me what i could never do for myself ...if you
are new or recently sober JUST KEEP COMMING BACK
AND THE MIRACLE WILL HAPPEN..me i was a slow
learner..but i have faith that anyone new can do it much
faster...just let God do it.. like i've heard it said "i came. i
came to, i came to believe" God Bless Everyone and have a
great and sober holiday
heidi h. (tampa, fl)
i'm an alcoholic, i haven't even been more than maybe a day
or two sober. I try to go for weeks, at a time even, and then
i'd find myself sitting at home, needing to go out, needing to
pour the flame down my throat.
i'm not sure about belief in a higher power, i know i don't
believe in "god" as in the Christian sense. and my trust is
anything is very small, i don't even trust myself. how does one
find the "higher power", one trust and "let go".
for i know i'm going to end up dead if i don't stop drinking,
and i don't know how.
heidi, if you are struggling with a higher power concept, know
that addiction is one example of something bigger then
yourself. The group of people at meetings are also a higher
power for some. 2 heads better than 1. Myself, if there is no
god, what else is there? Why not just believe. Fuck
intellectualism. it does you no good. I got my ass kicked into
believing in God by addiction for 5 years and I'm 21 now
Hope I helped. Greg V.
Lori G. Indiana
Hi I'm Lori, alcoholic. Great topic! I've recently started
working with a woman who once belived in a Higher Power,
until her daughter was killed in a car accident. She took the
excuse to drink. Now she wants to stay sober, but without a
Higher Power. I rely so heavily on my Higher Power that it is
difficult to help someone without mentioning God, or pray or
let go. I believe that my Higher Power brings people into (and
out of) my life for a reason. This too I will turn over to my
HP. I trust that he will give me the words to say. It's just
more practice in faith and letting go completely. Usually what
hods me back from letting go is Fear. I'm afraid that I can't
handle God's answer. Experience has shown me that His way
is not only the best but the easiest way as well. It does take
practice. Thanks for being here.
Perry H in PA
Just time to "Pas the Hat" folks. There are no dues or fees for
A.A membership, but we do have expenses and need to carry
the message. Your contributions help apy for thissite and the
balance is sent to GSO in New York. There is a note detailing
the groups finances in the " Coffee Pot" if interested. If you
wish to contribute, the adress to mail to is in the "Pas the Hat"
portion of this Web site, or:
Staying Cyber Box 392 Minisink Hills, Pa 18341 Thanks for
Phil R in Fla
Hey, everything said is very helpfull. I think trusting in a
higher power can be difficult just like trusting in ourselves is.
If that didn't work than maybe it's our trusting. The more I
look to God the less complicated my problems become. I
must trust that he's not done with me yet and accept my
progress as it is just like he does.
Phil R in Fla
Hey, everything said is very helpfull. I think trusting in a
higher power can be difficult just like trusting in ourselves is.
If that didn't work than maybe it's our trusting. The more I
look to God the less complicated my problems become. I
must trust that he's not done with me yet and accept my
progress as it is just like he does.
Pat L Kansas City,MO
HI, This is Pat L in Kansas City, Im an alcoholic and
exdruggy. "LET GO & LET GOD" Lately I have been
pondering keep it simple, What could be more simple than
this. You dont have to do anything. Release those
problems,worries whatever in a sincere prayer to your higher
power when you first drag your silly butt outta bed. I did this,
sceptically and the very 1st time I saw results. I thought well,
like a good hair day, it was just a good day. Day 2, I did it
again, my day went so well it scared me. My sponsor said
watch you HIGHS AND LOWS. When I went to a
meeting,everyone thought I was on speed. It appeared I was
getting much better to quickly. I now have 34 days sober, 23
1/2 hours at a time, the other 1/2 is prayer. Yes I go to
church,mainly because Im the security person for the alarm
and have to be there. The first couple of weeks, I was battling
2 Gods, my AA God and the one I worshipped in church.
Recently I realized, they are the same God. It is how I relate
to him that makes a difference. Through AA I learned to "ask
him for help". Through church I learned how to pray and
worship him. Either church or AA, always say thank you.
It felt weird to pray, even in the solitude of my own home. Im
too Cool for this and we all know it wasnt in our power to
control anything in this world. If this is true,then we should
give this "let go & let God" a chance. Of all the crazy stuff we
did when we were drunk, try this crazy thing now, what could
it hurt..try it you'll like it ! JUST DO IT!
Thank you for the time and space to share. This does work.
One more thing to ponder..... "you are where you are,
because you are doing what you're doing". Let go and let
God, special thanks to Lorraine in Canada. Pat L Kansas City
You have heard the saying "Stinken Thinken". I have an inner
voice that will try anything to get a drink. I have to learn not
to listen to this voice that I have named "Slick". He is cunning,
baffeling and powerfull. I have found that the best way to
keep him quiet is with frequent contact with God. Slick will
make me miserable if he thinks he can drive me to drink. We
create our own misery. Keep in contact with God.
David C. Asheville, NC
Hi, everyone. I'm David and I'm an alcoholic. I have been
reading the meeting for the pasr couple of days with mixed
reactions. I am just glad it is progress and not perfection. I
have been in the rooms a few 24 now, and I still get into the
fear places and take back control. I have a wonderful
forgetter, and I need to be reminded by you wonderful drunks
that I have a God of my understanding and He/She/It is in
charge. I just need to ask to know his will and have the power
to carry it out. Thanks for the topic.
Hi everyone, I'm Diana and I'm an addict and alcoholic. I am
so happy to have found this online meeting. "Let Go and Let
God" is a great topic. As people have already commented -
Why is this so difficult?? Every time I do it the results are
wonderful. So why can't I do it all the time?
For me the answer boils down to ego. I want my will and my
emotional self is about two years old, stomping her feet. I
want what I want when I want it! After two and a half years
of sobriety, I still carry inside my "self will run riot."
But because I am sober today, every moment I have a choice.
I can turn over the results of my actions and have faith that
God's will for me is actually my own deepest desires. It might
not feel like the ego-stroking I think I want, but it will be
better for me than petty gratification.
I do truly have faith today that God's will for me is what I
want for myself. So "let go and let God" is a privilege.
Finally I want to say that lately I've had to walk through some
major fear -- and God has been right there getting me through
to the other side. The result of experiencing this fear and not
running away is a HUGE change in my faith. I never go
anywhere without my Higher Power; therefore I have faith
that I can handle whatever comes my way.
This is a real change from my using days!
Thanks for sharing, and thanks for listening. Diana C. in New
BRUCE M. ERIE, PA.
FOR ARTIE K. I FOUND THAT DOING IT MY WAY IS
WHAT GOT ME TO THESE ROOMS. I CAN,T DO IT
ALONE BUT I"M NOT ALONE ANYMORE.! I HAVE
THIS FELLOWSHIP. SEEMS TO ME THAT DOING IT
YOUR WAY IS WHAT GOT YOU HERE. PUT DOWN
YOUR WEAPONS THE WAR IS OVER. SURRENDER
AND YOU,LL FIND PEACE. LET GO AND LET GOD. I
CAN"T , HE CAN, SO LET HIM DO IT. ARTIE THANKS
FOR REMINDING ME WERE I COME FROM. BELEIVE
IT OR NOT YOU JUST DID SOME TWEVLE STEP
WORK. YOUR COMMENT JUST REENFORCED THE
FIRST STEP FOR ME. THANKS AGAIN ARTIE FOR
KEEPING ME SOBER TODAY . ONE DAY AT A TIME.
GO TO MEETINGS . GET A SPONSOR. READ THE BIG
BOOK. PAGE 449. LIFE WILL GET BETTER AS LONG
AS WE DON,T PICK UP. DON,T FORGET THAT
BRUCES WAY GOT ME HERE. MY HIGHER POWER
KEEPS ME HERE.
Joanie O portland Pa. USA
Hi all Joanie O alcoholic here . Higher Power takes care of me
when I ask Him for help and support . I have a small sober
house and have a small sober family living with me. There are
times when ends are ddifficult to meet and we must ask God
for help, when we do God comes thru loud and clear ,it has
been that way since I first got sober 18 years ago. I have
learned to trust Him that as long as I am ddoing the deal He
will help and take care of us. On this I can depend .I must do
all the foot work and He takes it from there. Sometimes it is
not what I wanted but what He wants for me. There my
acceptence comes in and I must go along with His wishes. I
go up to the beautiful Delaware Water Gap overlook and
thank Him daily for my blessings and he continues to send
them to me in the way of people or gifts such as food and
wood from the trees to keep us warm. These gifts I accept
along with this most spiritual program which I work to the
very best of my ability learn from each person that I meet and
give it all away , and it comes back 100000 fold called
happiness . with love to all and a joyous holiday season
Tonya J WA ST
Hi everybody, my name is Tonya and I'm an alcoholic. This
is my first cyber meeting, it's pretty neat. After reading some
of the postings, I have realized that I am not turning to God. I
have some major decisions to make concerning my life, right
here right now, and I have not consulted God, the only one
who will know absolutely what I should do. Isn't it amazing. I
am celebrati 8 yrs, this month and I still have to be reminded
to ask God, and to let go let God, hello!!! I have a meeting
today with a person who will help me lay out the pros and
cons to my options and then I will take that information and
go to God for the answer. I know that with God I will make
the best decision for myself and my family. THere is a part in
the Big Book that says something like ... I don't always get
what I want, but I get what I need and then I find out it's what
I wanted all along. This is the truth for me, even if I don't
always like it. Thanks for letting me share, I needed it.
Hi I am Stephen and a 34 year old alcoholic.This is my first
cyber meeting and I am glad I found it.I am an extremly shy
person so I find it hard to sheer at normal meetings.On the
subject of a higherpower or god.I am having a very hard time
of it.I have been in the fellowship for 15months and I had a
drink yesterday.It is 5 in the morning here and I have got a 6
pack in the fridge and I am praying to god that I dont pick one
up.I am the sort of person that cant get down on my hands
and knees.If I do get down I dont know what to say.Religon
leaves me cold .I somehow need to find faith to keep me
sober.If you can help please drop me a line at
I'm Steve and I'm an alcoholic. Like I have heard a lot here
this really is a great topic. I wish I had the faith to let God
constantly run my life, but being the selfish and self centered
guy that I am , I often think that I can run the show. There is
no doubt in my mind that my life has become unmanageable
for exactly that reason. What I DO know is that God speaks
to me and helps me a lot through other people,especially
members of the fellowship of AA. I have been around my
Home Group for about 5 years, and they have watched me
struggle with trying to stay sober time and time again. And
they just keep encouraging me and welcoming me back no
matter what. I love the fellowship of AA and I wouldn't really
have friends and family without it, but the fellowship alone
has not and can not keep me sober. I HAVE TO rely on my
Higher Power to guide and direct my thoughts and actions.
Not always easy for someone that has spent 40 years thinking
that instant gratification is all I need. Gods answers are not
always going to be in my time frame or what I think they
should be, BUT they will always be the right ones! I just have
to ask and be willing to do what he puts in front of me to do.
The most important thing I do every day is don't pick up that
first drink!! I thank God for AA and I thank AA for God.
Darlene K. PA
Hi everyone, my name's Darlene, I'm an alcoholic. I want to
also thank Perry for the topic. I was, until about two month's
ago, very uncomfortable in meetings about a higher power.
That changed when a co-worker (who's not in the program)
and I were talking about my son one day and out of nowhere
she says to me "I can see in your face how much you love
your son--did you know that's how much God loves you?"
Well let me tell you folks, that floored me! That simple
statement was very clarifying for me. God loves me--just as I
am, and more than any of us could understand--of course he'll
take care of me if only I ask. After all, I'm his beloved
Most of the time, I still don't turn things over as quickly as
would be best for me. Now that I've had this mini
"revelation", however, I do feel absolutely positive that when I
do he'll be there.
MY SPONSER KATHLEEN SAYS REMEMBER THE
WORD "CARE" IN STEP 3. SHE SAYS, "YOU ARE
TUNING YOU WILL AND YOUR LIFE OVER TO THE
"CARE" OF GOD, NOT JUST TURNING IT OVER TO
GOD. dAVE SAYS, "All my life i wanted someone to take
care of me." I've discovered this Higher power takes care of
me if i let it. also i've found that i can start my day over
anytime or as many times during this 24 hours i need to.
Thanks for letting me share.
Barry L ,PA
I'm Barry and I'm an alcoholic,
It's sometimes very hard to turn my will and my life over to
the care of God as I understand him. Thats because I don't
understand my Higher Power.
To Steve G. I identify with where you are at, I was there for a
long time 12years in and out of the rooms of AA, but never
IN the Program. I too could'nt get on my knees, still have bad
taste in my mouth for religion. I always balked at the Program
whenever GOD was mentioned.
5 years ago, I was at a bottom again, I knew it was the
Spirtual thing that I had to get if I wanted to live, so I
surrendered to the possibility that the may be a higher power,
and it may help me stay sober. At first I used the rooms and
people as HP, then my sponsor told me to pray I started
trying to pray, even though the words felt empty, simple stuff
like HP help me not to pick up a drink today, and thank you
HP for keeping me sober today.
Things got better, I got better, My relationship with my Higher
Power got better. I can use the word God today, Step 3 says
"God as we understood him".
Thanks to all
I never would have believed that I would come to trust
completely in God, but I have, at least most of the time. I
think, in part, it has come from the acceptance that life can be
hard (which I never wanted to face or know) and that I'm just
another human being here on earth, and so I will experience
what other human beings do.
In addition, life opens up so much more, and the possibilities
become limitless, once I let go of trying to control things and
demanding my own way, and limiting myself to what I think
ought to happen. My imagination's just not as good as God's!
So life can also be very, very good.
At first, all I needed to do was look out the window and
realize that I couldn't have created ANY of what I see in
nature - which meant that there had to be a "power greater
than myself." All the rest has followed from that.
I wish peace and joy to all -
Hi, I'm Gail and I'm an alcoholic. This is my first
cyber-meeting and hi to everyone. This is great because I
can't always make meetings. It'll be easier to get here more
Good subject. I've been sober over a year but have just really
started TRYING to work the program. I find myself praying
more often and letting go of a lot of the things I used to obsess
about. What a relief! I find life's much easier when I pray for
direction, leave the driving to Him and just hold on.
Anyway, I'll be back. Thanks for your comments. Each and
every one of them gave me something.
I'm Nan D. I am an Alcoholic and Drug Addict. This topic
was mine for the day. Just this morning I said to myself how
come I did not turn it over the past few days. So reading all
your words got me back to the right mode again. It took me
many years to even have a belief in something other than
myself. When I finally got this higher power thing, when I
don't know I was abkle to se the change in me and my life.
But the stubborness in me will go a few days sometimes
without turning it over so I can run the show again or try to.
Then something will come to me, like this topic on this
computer and I wake up. All I can say the days I do not turn
it over, are the days that I need to remember. Thanks Perry
for the topic and for everyone being here.
I'm Willie and I'm a grateful alcoholic.
Trusting in a Higher Power is a terrific topic for me. I love to
hear people share about how they go about trusting in God,
something that is unnatural for me and from what I hear in
meetings, something that is unnatural for most alkies.
It's taken "time" to trust in God. When I first got the desire to
attempt this not drinking a day at a time thing I rebelled at the
mention of God. Today I know deeply, very deeply in my
heart that God has a plan for me. As long as I stay away from
a drink I am closer to doing Gods will. It's quite lovely and a
lot of fun these days. I sure am smiling more than when I was
Hi, My name is Stan and I'm an Alcoholic. The higher power
development was very difficult for me, I did not believe in
anything but myself. At on of the first meeting a gentleman to
me that all i had to know was there is a God and its not ME. I
took that and added some prayer and openmindedness and I
do now have a higher power that I owe for my year and 8
mos. of sobriety to. Thanks to you all! Merry Christmas!
Keep coming back! Stan
hi i'm john a gratefull member of AA god will do for us what
we can not do for our selfs... IF WE LET HIM !!!!and thats
like picking up that 2 ton phone,if we do it, things will happen.
faith is a corner stone to build a plan of recovery! use the
phone,pray on your knees,read the big book,&keep going to
meetings its works if YOU work it!
Mary Jane G.
Hi,I'm Mary Jane and an alcoholic. This is a great topic. My
life these past few weeks has been unbearable. My husband is
a practicing alcoholic,my daughter has heavy mental
problems, my son has trouble dealing with issues (because of
growing up with an alcoholic mother) and I have a chronic
pain condition. All of this hit me like a ton of lead today. I
cried out to God to help me and my family. I asked Him to
take these worries of mine and He did. The calmness that
came over me was unreal.I let Him take charge again of my
life.He will if we let Him. "Be still and know that I am God".
Thanks for letting me share.
Perry in PA
..... "you are where you are, because you are doing what
I really like that line!
Thanks for the topic and all the shares on it. My husband and
I are going through some pretty rough times. He is 6 years
sober and I am 11 years sober and we both have a few more
24 hours than the years we have. All of which are by the
grace of God who I choose to call Father in Heaven. My
worst enemy is fear just as all of us alkies have. Fear of the
unknown and that there really isn't any one who cares. I
needed to hear again from people who are struggling with
facing life without a drink. It is hard for me to get out and go
anywhere due to my chronic fatigue and pain so this cyber
meeting is a godsend. When I first started in the meetings my
faith in God was that he was probably disgusted with me and I
was scared to death of what he could do to me. Through the
years, in spite of my anger and depressions Father in heaven
has always been there with what I need. So here we are in a
financial bind with my husbands equipment gone so his
earning power is gone for now and my back pain and
Fibromyalgia have taken my ability to work in the field I
studied for 3years for and have 6 years of experience in. It
sure is putting us in a spot where we put our faith in the
Father's love again instead of money and things. Boy, did I
ever need this meeting.
Hi Extended Family, My name is Bonnie and I'm and
alcoholic and I am so happy to be sober, clean and pill free
today. What a wonderful life I have because of your guidance
in finding a Higher Power! Thank you Perry for this topic.
When I first got to these rooms I had everything money could
buy and it scared me to death because there was a hole in my
gut that all the money and stuff didn't fix. I tried to drink it
away, I tried to drug it away and my doctor tried to pill it
away. But you see my alcoholism is just a symptom of my
spiritual malady. so little by little I starting picking up spiritual
tools in this program, the first gal told me to just know that
there's an H.P. and give Him a cool name that I could relate
to and talk to Him at least once a day, the next tool was to
make a GodBox, so I took an old check box, dumped those
out, wrote God Box on the lid, put a slit in the lid and when I
was having a hard time turnin something over I would get
down on my knees(as per suggestions) beside my bed and
write my problem on a piece of paper and release it into this
box after I had a talk with H.P. once that paper is in the box,
the problem is His to fix or answer (and no longer any of my
business) and He always gives me one of 3 answers, Yes, No
and Wait. My prayers are talks with H.P. (I started taking
suggestions because my best efforts bought me a chair in an
AA room) anyway the next tool was when someone shared a
little poem at a meeting and part of it has always stuck with
me, in it it said, (God Speaking) How am I to fix that broken
toy, You haven't handed it to me. It was something about a
small child that was just clutching onto a broken toy and as
soon as he actually handed it to God it was fixed. there are
more but I've talked long enough. I will tell you this before I
go, My life is so Joyful today that I sometimes have to look
behind me to see if I'm leavin footprints, I am living the
second half of the third step prayer. It didn't happen over
night and it came and went for a long time but for the past 2
1/2 yrs it has been constant no matter whats happening,(by
the way the stuff and money are all gone) my needs are met
thru faith and have been since I came into this awesome
program 17 1/2 yrs ago, Thank you God (((((hugs)))))) to
all-----have a blessed 24---thank you for letting me share
Rich F. IN peru, IN.
Hi, Rich F. in Peru, IN. here. Great topic Perry. Letting go
and letting God is probably one the most difficult things for us
human beings to do. We always seem to let our selves get in
the way. We let it go and then take it right back, thinking we
can do a better job. We forget that our best thinking got us
here in the first place For me , I , always believed in God, but
I always blamed him for the problems in my life. Never once
did I blame myself. It was always , how could God do this tn
me? Never thought it was the choices I made that caused the
trouble. God gave us the freedom of choice. When came
down to a choice of right or wrong, good or bad, I'd choose
wrong or bad 2 out of 3 times. God wasn't the problem, I
was. Things have sure changed. Making choices without
prayer doesn't happen too often in my life anymore. This is
directed to Artie. You say youv'e been to 2 meetings in 16
days and you're questioning the wisdom of having a higher
power. Self reliance is what got most of us where we are.
Reliance on a higher power is what keeps us where we are
now. SOBER. Try to attend a few more meetings with an
open mind and open ears, maybe you'll learn something. God
bless you, Thank for being here, I'll keep all of you in my
DHi, My name is Len and I am an alcoholic. This subject is
especially important to me as it took my a quarter of a century
in the program without a drink to finally get the message of
the latter part of step 3. "God as I understand Him, It, Her or
whatever!. Not as I have been taught as a youngster, not as I
had learned over the years by listening at meetings, not during
the 2 year "sabbatical" I took from AA to really 'study'
religions and find the one for me -- no it finally was presented
to me in clarity in the third step ---as I understand ___!!" It
places the responsibility right back on us as individuals to get
with it and find it for ourselves, within ourselves, as someone
earlier said. Inside of ourselves, especially for those of us who
burned ourselves out on someones elses opinion of a "Higher
Power". For an alcoholic of my type, it is a do it yourself,
inside out job to be found within the self - providing the ego
has been brought under control by a complete surrender as is
most helpful as we go through the first three steps and get a
firm foundation (sort of like a three legged milk stool - anyone
remember those?) before we get on with the other steps and
start to feel like a member of the human race and really look
"forward to living life as it was meant to be lived" and can
only be lived, for us alkies, as we strive to live one day at a
time. Thanks for listening. Now a personal post to Stephen G.
Kerry B. - Idaho
Im Kerry and Im an alcoholic. Thank you! I needed to read
everything. What I always thought was rather funny about
athiests is that they have to believe God exists to have the
opinion that he does not. Anyway, I am so grateful for my
understanding (sometimes I dont) of God. Before I got sober
quite a while ago, when things went good in my life (rarely) I
took the credit. When it was really bad, it was defineately HIS
fault. It took quite a while to turn it around and realize that it
was me and my bright ideas for myself that caused the bad
times and God and his will that caused the good times. Once
that really hit home between my ears I was able to start
having faith in a Higher Power. I don't even question him
anymore, which really amazes me. I just KNOW that He is in
control. Thanks to all for sharing, and have a good holiday.
HI MY NAME IS DAVE AND I'M AN ALCHOHOLIC
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I'VE BEEN PRIVILEDGED
TO SHARE ON THE LINE. I LOVE THE TOPIC LET GO
AND LET GOD. I'VE BEEN SOBER OVER 20 YEARS
AND IN THAT TIME I'VE HAD AMPLE
OPPORTUNITIES TO APPRECIATE MY PERSONAL
NEED TO HAVE A GOD IN MY LIFE. WHEN THINGS
GO WELL ITS EASY TO ACCEPT A HIGHER POWER
AND TO BE GRATEFUL, ITS MUCH MORE DIFFICULT
TO ACCEPT WHEN THINGS GET TOUGH. HOWEVER
I'M ALWAYS CONSTANTLY REMINDED OF THE
PRAYER I HEARD FROM AN 88 YEAR OLD MEMBER
OF AA MANY YEARS AGO. HE SAID AT EVERY
MEETING THE FOLLOWING.GOD, THANK YOU FOR
ALL YOU HAVE GIVEN TO ME, THANK YOU FOR ALL
YOU HAVE TAKEN FROM ME, AND THANK YOU FOR
ALL YOU HAVE LEFT ME, AND SURELY ITS BEEN A
LOT. THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME SHARE. DAVE B